ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd March 2024

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: One Hit Wonders  Final Rankings: Microsoft Programs  Bad News Brad!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, happy Friday. Happy Friday. And then, two short weeks coming.

Yes. I know because Easter's next weekend. Crazy. And that means we have two weeks of daylight savings. Because daylight savings ends... Shut your stupid mouth. It's already... We're past the equinox.

Yeah, it's already getting dark. It's so dark. Look how dark it is outside now. We're just going to put our heads down for five months and then just see on the other side. Yeah. Ready for summer.

My dad's about to stop being a dairy farmer for the first time in his life. Like, since he, I think he started when he was 20. What's he going to do? And he's 67. He's going to be doing grazing and dry stock. But he's like, no, daylight savings can bugger off now.

Because it was always just so it was a little bit lighter in the morning than winters. So is he going to sleep in, do you reckon? He won't be able to. Nah. He won't be able to. You know how, like, sometimes we wake up early on the weekend and we've been doing this for 10 years? Yeah. He's been't be able to. Nah. He won't be able to. You know how like sometimes we wake up early on the weekend and we've been doing this for 10 years? Yeah.

He's been doing it for 40. Yeah. He'll never sleep in again. That's a body clock, yeah. Yeah, he'll never sleep in. He's permanently on Ian's standard time. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, Winston Peters is not allowed to use Chumbawamba.

They've had enough. Chumbawamba, you know, there's a great episode of probably my podcast of the last few years, 60 songs that explain the 90s. It's just wrapped up, hasn't it? It's just wrapped up. Emotional last episode,

semi-sonic closing time. Perfect song to finish on. Oh my God, great song. Closing time. He did an episode on Chumbawamba who had released

seven albums prior to Tub Thumping and they were like anarchist, anti-government, anti-politics. Right. So the fact that their one song that broke through has been used by, I would say, you

know, a politician's politician. Yes. The populist vote scavenger. Yeah. Well, it depends what's in vogue at the moment, if he's right or left leaning. True. His New Zealand's Trump has been asked to cease and desist. Yeah.

I've got the top six other songs from the era that he could use that might suit him better. Oh, it's coming up in the top six. Five on Time

returns at 8 o'clock this morning. We've hit that $50,000 jackpot. So your chance to win $50,000 is at 8 o'clock this morning.

Chances as well if it doesn't go with Georgia at midday and this afternoon at 4 o'clock. Otherwise we'llances as well, if it doesn't go with Georgia at midday and this afternoon at 4 o'clock. Otherwise, we'll see you back on Monday. But I have a feeling it's going to go this morning. Wouldn't it be nice? Silly little poll just a few minutes away as well.

And Bumble is considering removing women. It's a defining feature. It's a defining feature, which you could turn off, I think. Women could turn off maybe. I don't know. But they are saying, well, maybe we just basically make it Tinder. Yes. And that anyone can message first.

Yeah. So we asked, would you still use Bumble if that's going to be the case? Yeah. The results are coming up. But next on the show. A group of friends have come up with a way to try to understand what your friend does for a job. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. try to understand what your friend does for a job. This is a fantastic idea.

There's a group of friends that have shared an idea on TikTok and they host like a PowerPoint presentation evening at their house where each of you gets to explain what it is you actually do for a job. Like one of them's a nurse. Here's what my day looks like. Here's the things that I might encounter in a day. But, like, you know what a nurse does. You think you know, but you don't really.

You think you know. But then there's always, like, I mean, the famous storyline of Chandler Bing. No one knew what Chandler did for a living. On Friends, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that was, like, an ongoing joke. They'd always be like, oh, yeah, he works in the... And, to be honest, like, I don't even know what my, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that was like an ongoing joke. They'd always be like, oh yeah, he works in the... And to be honest, like, I don't even know what my bestest, closest friend does. What does she do?

She works in HR policy for a payroll company. What does that mean? Exactly. I have no idea what her day entails. HR policy. We'll fire people if they do this.

For a? Payroll company. Okay, so the payroll company is what the company does. Yes. And she just works in HR for it. She used to work for like an IT company doing the same role. So she'll just make sure that all the, she'll be like, okay, human stuff. She makes sure people are looked after.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they've good. People have stresses or worries. Yeah, and you know, rainbow communities are happy and these people have access to this and stuff. But I don't really get it. Good seats. Oh, yeah, because you don't want carpal tunnel syndrome.

Like good mouse pads. I don't know if she works on the mouse pads. This is literally my best friend in the entire world. You should ask her. I bet she's thought about the mouse pads. Yeah. Because you can't have your staff having bad wrists. You've got a paddy.

Oh, this Clint uses this. He must have a bad wrist. I know. Clint's got a mouse pad and a laptop booster. Yeah. I know. Weak. I know.

He's weak. It would not surprise me if he's got a dinner table at home. You know, like one of those trays you put on the couch over your lap? Oh, yeah. TV dinner tray. Absolutely. When he's spilling stuff on his lap. Yeah.

I don't know. Anyway, this is so cute. And he probably has peaches and ice cream for pudding, and that's it. That's a good idea. Or sometimes like yogurt and muesli with a cut up apple. Yeah. How embarrassing, Clint.

Anyway, this is really cute. Everyone puts so much effort into their little presentations. I love this idea. Because we've got, even looking at the gaggle, like our group of friends, they've got such a mixed bag of jobs. Like, one of them works in, like, security camera footage

but used to be, like, an electrician. He's just an all-round installer. Installer of technology. One's a doctor. That's Dr. Shawnee, obviously. Well, we know what he does. One of them is Harold the giraffe. Yes.

Well, he's Harold the giraffe's best friend. Well, no, he doesn't. He put his hand up. Harold? No, that's after hours. That's a secret. Oh, right. We don't talk about that.

Harold is his own man. Yeah, giraffe. Yeah. One of them's a real estate agent. Yeah. One of them works on the radio. Yeah. One of them's a real estate agent. Yeah. One of them works on the radio. Yeah. I don't know.

Todd does things. Booze. Todd booze? He does booze and drinks. Yeah, yeah. He does drinks. Drives a car with fresh fruit on it? I don't know.

No, no, no, no. Do you know what I mean? Like, what do these people do? It's not fresh fruit. It's fruit calls the company he works for. Yeah, why it's got fruit on it? It's the name of the company. Pulls up in a silly fruit car.

It might have done juice originally. Leaves this bloody fruit car in our driveways every weekend. Yeah. I don't know what these people do. Yeah, and then you're like, when's Todd coming back for the fruit car? Yeah, how do I get this bloody fruit car out of my driveway? Where's Todd?

We've still got his car. Yeah, come on. Has anyone got eyes on Todd? Yeah, because his car's here. His car's here with the fruit in it. It's a good idea. I think it's a great idea. I really like it.

Especially if they've got IT jobs or tech jobs where you just say, oh, they work in IT. You don't understand. Make a little presentation to your friends so they really understand what you do for a living. I don't think we need to explain what we do. Hang out. We hang out.

We catch up for three hours and someone put these microphones in front of us. Play Dua Lipa songs. Oh, yeah. Good from him. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Would you still use Bumble if men could also message first?

Well, Bumble's CEO says that Bumble is struggling to survive. Oh, no. And says it's time to reconsider its woman-first message. Yeah, do you know what? Women have had it too good for too long. They've had control of first communique. Yeah. Apparently they have been grappling with financial turbulence, a market

marked by recent layoffs and a plummeting stock price. Well, when you come out and say that, I'd imagine it would only feed the plummeting stock price problem. Well, yeah, you'd think so. There's too many apps. It's a flooded market, right? Yeah.

And that was the thing that everyone was trying to do, their version of it. There was one where you could only message at 11am, one where you could only message on Tuesdays. Was it Tuesday? Yeah, that was dumb. So they had in 2022, because on other ads,

I know that you can subscribe and have a premium subscription. I don't know why you're subscribe and have a premium subscription. I don't know why you're looking at me, my dude. I've never used one. I'm unsure if there are actually pop-up ads, but their revenue from 2022 was $903 million. Jesus, nearly a billion dollars in a year. Yeah. And they're struggling.

Yeah, are you? Because they lost $1.9 million. Oh, doing so bad. I reckon you could find it in the couch if you're earning nearly a billion dollars. But that's what happens when you get bought out by, you know, these massive companies. Massive companies. Yeah. Or they don't see people.

All they see is a number on a page. There's a number on a page. Yeah. And if that number isn't the number they want, it'll no longer be on the page. That's right. So, Little Pole, would you still use Bumble if men could also message first because they might have to do it to stay afloat? We only made a billion.

69% of people. Nice. And we didn't even make that up. I can put up a screen cap to prove it. In fact, go to FEHZM, vote on it, and then it will tell you what the percentage is. Or no, don't vote because you might make it 68. 68. And that wouldn't be nice.

69% of people said yes. 69% of people said yes. 31% of people said no. Mac says... I assume that's Mac. M-A-K. It's short for something. It's a female's name. Maybe Macintosh.

Oh, Macintosh. Macintosh. Lollies. It would be very little difference from a bloke's point of view. I'd say 90% of girls out there put in enough effort to just say hi or a wave anyway to get conversations started.

Jared said this, hey, that, like, if you're on Bumble, all they do is say hi, and then you have to do all the heavy lifting as the man. Yeah, I know. You said that, eh, Jared? Yes, but don't cancel me. I don't think you can be cancelled. No, it's just like...

Like, the whole thing is that the women were supposed to lead, but they'll just do a wave. And then the man's like... Has to make the effort and... Okay, so I guess I'm still leading here. Yeah. I downloaded the app ages ago. Not now.

I have a girlfriend I love. Oh, yeah, yeah. This was, yeah, pre-the-mitty. Yeah, pre-the-mitty. When you had those hundreds of matches. Yeah. Yeah. He was a player.

I downloaded the app, ready, excited for these honeys to start hitting on me, and then they just wave, and I'll be like, damn. I've got to hit on the honeys. And then you had to hit on the honeys. I've got to hit on the honeys. Oh, gosh. I used it for like two years and had five matches, two with contact. Be nice to have the ability to say hi to, says Jessie.

So that's from a guy's point of view. Okay. Much the same sort of situation, right? Yeah. Hayley says, I met my partner on Bumble. My cringe first message was, hey, how's your lockdown going?

Would have been quite happy not to send the first message, but it worked. Also pretty much the same people on Bumble and Tinder anyway. Yeah, totally. So don't have two.

It's the same fish in the pond, isn't it? It's the same, yeah. Mason said, as a white cis male, I for once would like some attention if possible. Okay's a, yeah. Mason said, as a white cis male, I for once would like some attention if possible. Okay.

Okay, Mason. Well, we're giving it to you. I get that, my dude. Sam says, I got a fumble because it was too much pressure to be the first message.

So there was a woman who didn't want the pressure. Oh, okay. Back to Tinder. Yeah. Emma says, yes, but they should make it

if we don't message first within the 24 hours they have the option to message for the next 24 that's a good idea so if you match that's a good idea there's a 24 hour period

where only the female can message then when that lapses the guy is free to engage if she's fluffing around yeah free to engage the enemy I'm really focused on war

at the moment well you know now I'm watching Masters of the Air, and I'm halfway through. Oh, my God. I was always going to get him. He just wanted it all out. I was waiting until it was all out,

and it is all out now because it was episodic. Oh, God. I'll come back. God, it's good. I don't like being left behind. It's so good. Oh, my God. It's so good.

Christina said, I'd prefer it. Now, she's not talking about Masters of the Air. She's talking about men being able to message first on bubble. Mal says beside what? Beside the can just pay a little and message. Beside besides they can but autocorrect

says beside the can. I'm looking beside the can I'm not seeing anything. Please check your message before you send it for grammar. Yeah actually apparently pay a little. Take some pride. You pay a little and you can message first? Is that how Bumble works? I don't know.

Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, I'm getting a thumbs up. Ridiculous. Okay. That's a little pun. So don't change it, Bumble. Yeah. Next on the show,

speaking of streaming, we were just talking about Masters of the Air. We weren't really talking about streaming. We were talking about dating apps. Yeah, but speaking of that, we kind of crowbarred. That was rough from you.

Are you learning? We kind of crowbarred in some television streaming there. You did. Speaking of. Yeah. Speaking of, what is the best streaming service? What gives you the most bang for your buck? Somebody's done, what, some research?

Somebody. Our best friends at Bloody NZ Herald have. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Somebody, our best friends at Bloody NZ Herald have. I have every single streaming service that you could ever imagine and pay for. In New Zealand. I got YouTube Premium, finally. Because I was sick of the ads. YouTube Premium.

Anne, why don't you tell me why you really got YouTube Premium? Why? What can you do? Because your ad blocker stopped working. Yeah, ad blocker stopped working. I had a naughty ad blocker and it stopped blocking ads on YouTube. Yeah. Which I've had for years. I know.

It was so lame. I've got YouTube Premium. I've got Hey You, which is the reality TV one. I've got Neon, Prime, Netflix, Disney, Apple. Seven. When you add those up. Don't. It is so much shh

shut up okay so much money a month I am gonna that's definitely like a thing I need to like go through and be like what are we watching Aaron

well I I had I got rid of Netflix and only maybe got it for one month last month because it was a bit of stuff I wanted to watch

yeah but you've got 9 email addresses that's how you do it no I paid for it I paid for a month. And then I just, I'm done with it. And then I go to the next one and I watch as much as I can in a month.

It's a good way to save a bit of cash. So, NZ Herald, our lovely sibling, I guess you'd call them a sibling, wouldn't you? Have put together the five best subscription TV and movie streaming platforms in New Zealand. Ranked.

Okay. Right? Number five, Prime Video. Now, for me, Prime Video goes a bit dry. Prime Video goes dry. Have you watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith? No. With Donald Glover.

Donald Glover, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've watched the first episode and it was really good. I've seen good reviews for it. It was like smooth. You know how he's just effortlessly smooth? Prime? it was really good. I've seen good reviews for it. It was like smooth. You know how he's like just effortlessly smooth. Prime. It was really smooth. Yeah.

Invincible, the second half of Invincible. I looked yesterday and there was about three or four things. I was like, oh, Prime's in a flood. Yeah, because they've droughts. Yeah. Feast or famine. Is that the thing? It's feasting at the moment.

Okay. And Boys is out in a couple of months. Yeah. I got Prime originally because it had Fleabag on it. That was the one I went and I was like, oh yeah, I want to watch Fleabag again. There's actually some alright stuff on there. And lots of old stuff. Every now and then you'll be like,

I can't find the old movie I want to watch on something and Prime's got it. And it's cheap. It's the cheapest. $10.99 a month in New Zealand. Used to be like $7. Anyway, they've all gone up. It's got Normal People on it, Mr and Mrs Smith. Deepest, $10.99 a month in New Zealand. Used to be six. Used to be like $7 a month. Yeah, used to be six, my dudes. Anyway, they've all gone up. It's got normal people on it, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

If you're with Two Degrees, you get a free subscription, all that kind of stuff. So it's a goodie. Okay. Yeah. Number four, Disney+. Yep. Again, sometimes I run it dry. You know what I mean?

And then I'll come back to Disney+. And if I'm not in the mood for a Disney film, I'm like, I'm out. It's got a lot of, you know, I love? And then I'll come back to Disney Plus and if I'm not in the mood for a Disney film, I'm like, I'm out. It's got a lot of like, you know I love my American procedurals. Yeah, because it owned, it bought, it's ABC.

Hulu. ABC, yeah. All the ABC stuff, right? So it's got heaps of TV shows like on the star. The Bear. The Bear is the big one on there. Yeah. And it had the Kardashians like on the day the US got it as well.

Yeah. Only Murders in the Building, Reservation Dogs. X-Men 97. Yeah, that was just on here. That was on your list. So for $14.99 a month, that's at number four. Okay.

Number three on the list of, or the Herald's list of the five best subscriptions in New Zealand. It was Netflix. Netflix. Yeah, it was my guess. You got it. I mean, it's got a lot on it.

Sex Ed, Schitt's Creek, Tiger King, Love is Blind. It does its own Netflix specials. Did you see that season two of Physical 100's out soon? Is it? Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Okay, great.

God, that's a good show. Yeah, we love that show. I literally said last week I'm itching for a new Korean show. Yeah. And it's back. And it's back. And what did we just finish? One day.

Yeah, one day. One day's on it. Yeah, and it does lots of comedy. Oh, The Gentleman? The Gentleman, yes. That's on there. If you haven't watched that, watch that. So my month ran out and I'm halfway through The Gentleman. Just use mine.

I never got that set your home base thing. Okay. And then when I watch your Netflix, I'll set the home base to my house. No, no, no, no, no, no, Netflix, I'll set the home base to my house. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you rascal. The only thing with Netflix and probably why it isn't...

You walk past the charity bit and put your hand in and you're like, oh, thanks, mate. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I needed some money.

God, it's expensive. $28 or something like that. I'm going to need some more quality programming out of them for that amount of money. I know. Especially once you've

watched all the stand up. But that's the thing is you take a break you can watch your month come back end your subscription come back in two months and there'll be so much stuff.

I need to make a calendar. Okay here's your top two. What do you reckon is in two? What haven't we done? Neon and and what's in number two? Apple. Apple.

Oh, yeah. Which is what I'm watching Masters of the Air on. And Slow Horses, if you haven't seen that on... White Lotus. No, White Lotus is Neon. There's HBO. Beg Your Pardon. Shrinkings on there.

That's good. Severance is on there. Yeah, there's a couple of... Blackbird's on there. There's a glasso. Yep, Ted Lasso was on there Blackbird's on there Glasso Really good And Apple TV, what's that like $19 $18

$15, $16 So bang for buck And you'd get less But it's such quality $14.99 Bang for buck I reckon Morning Show In terms of really good quality stuff for buck, I reckon. Morning show?

In terms of really good quality stuff. Morning show. I love morning show. Number one. Neon. Neon. Yeah. That's what they called it. Because of all of the HBO shows.

White Lotus, Succession, HBO. I was going to say Sex.Life. Great podcast, though. Listen to it. Wherever you podcast. Sex and the City and the spinoff. Yeah, and loads of movies, too. Sopranos, all those classic

HBO shows that kind of made HBO massive. Yeah, so there you go. These are your top five. How much is that a month? Neon... It doesn't say on this. I wish I'd never asked now. I feel like it's under 20. Is it 1899?

Here we go. Yellowstone's on there. Yeah, Yellowstone. That's so good. Passing the dragons out again soon. I don't want no whips and cheese. What is this internet? I reckon it doesn't matter. I'm going to punch out. Wait a minute. Should I just search my email

for neon and it will tell me? Do you get a receipt? I get emailed a receipt. It's a business expense baby. It's a business expense baby. That's so awkward. It's a business expense baby. That's so awkward because I'm using the free one they gave us. What? What?

Yeah, I don't think I pay for neon. Oh, yeah, no. I think I lost that one. Right, okay. Oh, maybe I don't. I don't know how much it is. Anyway, it's number one on the list. How much does no pet the people need to know?

With winter coming and... $19.99 a month. There you go. With winter coming and the days getting colder and darker. It's been about five months on the couch. It's couch time. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

From the panoramic ZM think tank, This is the top six. Well, political herpes. Winston Peters. Because you're like, oh, I haven't had a flare-up for a while. Maybe it's gone. And there he is. And then it has a big old flare-up. Has this week been told by Chumbawamba not to use this song,

Tub Thumping, famously the line, I get knocked down down but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. Originally written about how the government was trying to keep people down in Britain. Yeah, right. Post-punk movement by Chumbawamba who were like anarchists and punks. I just thought it was a song for sporting montages and drinking.

Yeah. Well, the drinking part's the famous part. Whiskey drink. Vodka Well, the drinking part's another famous part. The whiskey drink, vodka drink, soda drink, lager drink. But no, it's like, if you listen to what

Chumbawamba had to say about the song, it's sort of an anti-political song. So he's had a cease and desist. He's had a cease and desist after he used it at his rally

where he compared New Zealand's COVID response to Nazi Germany. And then also walked past reporters the other day with the song playing on his phone.

After being told not to by Jumbo Wamba. Which is such a mature and excellent response from a politician. That and the broadcasting minister refusing to do media interviews that she would have considered boring has led the Prime Minister just to ask everybody to grow up a little. So I've actually got the top six songs from the era, also one-hit wonders that Winston could have used instead.

Oh, niche. Lovely. Number six. Sorry. Are you going to sit here and say that Mbop is a one-hit wonder? That Hanson had a one-hit wonder?

Wow. Yeah. I am. Where's the love? Yeah, it wasn't as... That was just reskinned Mbop. You sung it to Mbop music and nothing changed. Next to...

Oh, yeah, okay. Okay, now he's got a point there. It was just one song, really, wasn't it? Mbop, because like Winston, everyone knows the song, but no one's got any idea what it's saying or what it means. Just like Winston. True. You're like, what is it about?

I'm moving. Blah, blah. Oh my God, get to the bitch. Yeah, get to the bitch. Get to the bitch. I see the lips moving, but it's making no sense. Number five on the list of the top six songs from the era that Winston could use instead. 500

miles in the opposite direction hopefully, and just keep going. Just keep going. Number four on the list of the top six songs from the era that Winston could have used instead. Yes, this is a banger. The Macarena by Los Tango. Because, like, what's going on in this song?

What's going on in his head? And if you've seen the video, it's like old men in pinstripe suits, like dancing around hot young woman. Yeah. Big Winston energy. Actually. And the dance would actually be a nice distraction from the disastrous behaviour of this old fellow.

He's trying to distract you with his fancy hand movements and his hips swinging. All of it, all of it. Number three on the list, the top six one-hit wonders that Winston could have used instead. What is this? You know this song. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Oh, yeah. Let My Own Worst Enemy. Yeah, okay. Because when you compare New Zealand's COVID response to Nazi Germany publicly, you're your own worst enemy, really, aren't you? Yeah, you really are. When I was drunk.

And he's always drunk. I didn't mean to call you that. Oh, my God, it all lines up. The opening stanza. Number two on the list of the top six one-hit wonders from the era that Winston could have used instead. Return of the Mayor. Return of the Mac.

Mac Morrison. Because just when you think he's finally gone. Return of the Mac Return of the Mac Mac Morrison Because just when you think he's finally gone Return of the Mac Once again Return of the Mac One, two, three And number one on the list of the top six songs from the era that Winston could have used instead Oh my god, this is such a good song

I hate the world today He does He does, he hates it every day I hate my people today It's Bitch by Meredith Brooks He does. He does. He hates it every day. I hate my people today. It's Bitch by Meredith Brooks. I'm going to just fast forward it to the... It's Bitch by Meredith Brooks because he's acting like one.

Okay, it's coming. I want you little bitch. She does two verses. She does two verses. Two verse chorus. Verse chorus. I'm a bitch. I'm a lover.

I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. Verse chorus. Here we go. Is this Friday-oke, is it? No. It feels big Friday-oke energy. I've actually got to go to a 40th. It's a karaoke 40th. You've got to come dressed

as who you're going to sing a song by. Ooh, why have you suggested that? I'm going to go as Meredith Brooks. I'm going to go as Meredith Brooks.

No one even knows what she looks like. What does she look like? Exactly, just long hair and some dangly 90s hippie clothes. Yeah, perfect. I'm a bitch.

I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I think we've all collectively agreed, right, that on Christmas Day we don't have sex. Christmas Day is a sexless day. Well, you're very full. Let me rack my brain. I could almost hand on heart say I never ever made love on Christmas.

And when you're an adult, like when you've got kids, that's full on. But even when you're an adult before you have kids, if you're involved in the prep, mum will have a job for you. You're hungover probably too. You might have been a little hungover. You're hungover from the night before. That would be the hungover horn. That would indicate that there's a possibility of. Yeah, maybe. You're hanging been a little hungover. You hungover from the night before? Yeah. That would be the hungover horn. That would indicate that there's a possibility of

children being hungover. Yeah, maybe. You're hanging out at your granddad's house, you know what I mean? And he's got a double bed from the 70s. That's not hot.

We're not doing that. You're sleeping in the sheets that your mum had as a teenager. I'm not into it. Why do you ask that? Well, because the most common birthdays in New Zealand,

I have a list. Oh, right. And working back, it's never 40 weeks right which is a pregnancy Because 9 months isn't quite on the mark 9 months isn't 40 weeks It's around

So 40 weeks which is a full term pregnancy Is September 29th Is 40 weeks after Christmas The Christmas festive season And that is the most common birthday in New Zealand. Really? And in the southern hemisphere to be fair. September 29th. The whole family thing and

screaming kids isn't putting people off wanting more? Yuck. I think it might be when you get home from it or the next day. Boxing day or then the lead up to New Year's. People aren't working. They've got time on their hands.

Yeah. So the least common birth date is obviously the 29th of February. Yeah. Because that's a leap year. We had that this year. Yeah. But second to that is Christmas Day itself, the least likely day to be born in New Zealand.

Well, that's because of James. It got bagged by Jesus. Because of James, he's a Christmas baby. David F because it got bagsies. It got bagsies by Jesus. Big hearted Jameses. He's a Christmas baby. David Ferry's a Christmas baby. Yeah. Friend Lee, she's a Christmas baby. Is it also because...

Boxing Day's the next one back. And also C-sections would never happen if they could help it on a Christmas day. True. If you're in hospital, they get you in early. Doctors are just on call though. I don't think it...

No, not Christian doctors. I think they are But yeah So interestingly enough All of the top So These are the top All of them fall Between

The top 10 All fall between The 24th of September And October 4th Now I'm October 8th Aaron's the 6th My brother's the 7th So we're like

Super super close To being really common. Yeah, sloppy New Year's. Sloppy New Year's shag. Yeah. Yeah, and I guess my parents did it again three years later because my brother and I are a day apart but three years. Yeah.

So I think we worked out that they have an annual lovemaking. Also good timing from your mum, she's not heavily pregnant in summer. No, you get knocked up in summer. In summer and you still get to – You get heavy in summer. No, you get knocked up in summer. In summer and you still get... You get heavy in winter. Yeah. Stats NZ have the graph. Yeah.

And it's colour coded and then it ranks. You can like go down and find your birthday and month. And September, October are the big red months. Firing red. That is where everybody is having a baby. May looks... Is that May that you got your finger on there? Sorry, that's March. Yeah, May there. May, middle of May looks pretty dry that May that you got your finger on there? Sorry, that's March.

Yeah, May there. May, middle of May looks pretty dry. So what are you? Feb 20, you're 87th. Yeah, that's the 87th most popular birthday. Equal though

with another day. Yeah. I think we're sort of middle of winter love. You're a rarity. I'm 234th equal in New Zealand. Wow.

But that's good because it means when I have my birthday no one else is like stealing my thunder. Yeah, we get to celebrate you. And they're not going to get suspicious when you turn up at Valentine's for your free birthday meal.

Yeah. We'll have to hear those today, that's it. Yeah. Whereas God, Valentine's must really be struggling on September, October. They bring cash in on their free birthday meal. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God.

What's September 11 looking like? What about some disaster dates? Very popular. Oh, my God. September's September 11 looking like? What about some disaster dates? Very popular. Oh, my God. September 11 is the 33rd most popular birthday. Because I know we've talked about before, like, what ruined your birthday? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so many people talked about how September 11 was on their birthday.

Yeah, my friend Sam, his birthday is September 11th, and every time he sets a date for dinner, you're always like, God, have some respect. Too soon. It's not about you. Yeah, it'll be 23 years this year. Oh, April 15, 252nd least most popular. Okay.

That's when the Titanic went down. Least most popular. Least popular. Least most popular. The least most. The least most. Wow. Is that the least most?

That's when the Titanic sunk. What about, what was that? February 22nd was the Christchurch earthquake. The one during the day that was a bit more. 166. Kind of in the middle. Okay, in the middle. Yeah.

Anyway, it's quite a fun little chart. What about holidays? What about Waitangi Day? What about Feb 6th? Because that's Indy's birthday. The 360th. Wow! Very rare.

Very rare for people to be born on Waitangi Day. Maybe because it's a holiday. Hold out, love. Feb 15. Oh, yeah. She's kind of middle of the road. I'm just looking at the colour code in there. It's in the middle of, you know, an area where there's quite a few birds.

A bit of orange, yeah. It's fascinating. If you Google New Zealand most popular birthday, the first thing that comes up is a stats graph. Stats.gift.nz. It's pretty fascinating. Yeah, it's really fascinating. Happy birthday to those that celebrate.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now I must say, Sex.Life, wonderful podcast, not just saying it. Thank you. Not just, I'm very picky with my podcasts. You are. Yeah. Podcast snob or just big for Shanna? Big podcast snob.

Okay. As Sex.Life season two has been a rollercoaster so far, but this week's episode, and it's not letting anything out of the bag, that Morgan pays for a sensual massage. Ooh. Happy ending. Happy ending. Oh.

Yeah. Right. Full noise. Yeah, full noise. Okay. And she tells the story. Basically, the entire podcast is set over, what would you say, three hours? Yeah.

Kind of starts just before she leaves home. Yeah. Ends after the massage. Yeah. Just a beautifully told story. Yeah. It's like it couldn't have gone worse. It couldn't have gone worse.

And the way she describes it is you're almost imagining you're a fly on the wall during the entire situation. Yeah, right, yeah. Wonderfully told story. But at moments, at moments, quite graphic. Yes. Yeah, okay, right. Oh, yeah, we do content warnings every episode. Every time.

Yeah. So I was driving yesterday and currently dealing with a few property issues at our house. Your septic tank. I don't want to talk about it, but it's a very expensive week. So I'm expecting calls about that. I take a call. Now on my Apple CarPlay, usually when a call comes, the podcast stops. Yes.

Yeah. I have experienced it before where some noise will continue playing in the background. Maybe if you're not playing off a streaming app. I think once I was listening to something on YouTube. Right. Not watching it, listening to it. Yeah, and the person on the other end days was like, what's that sound? And you can kind of hear it, but it sounds like it's phone quality.

Yes. So I answer a phone and I always answer, hello, Vaughan speaking. Yeah. Oh, my God. So right. Hello, Hayley speaking. Yeah. Always.

Hello, Vaughan speaking. I'm like, hello. How did you answer the phone when you were a kid growing up? Vaughan Smith speaking. How may I help you? That was what we were told to do. Yeah. How would you answer the phone?

I think, yeah. And because it happened once when I answered and they thought it was a little girl. So I would really want to establish this. That happened to me before my voice. They were like, is that you Bev? I'm like,

hello, just get in there. Hello, Vaughan Smith, he, him speaking. Yeah, right. Even in the 90s. Yes.

So progressive. Yeah. Very progressive. Just letting everybody know. Better than Aaron. Hi, always hostile, always ready for a fight.

Hi. Hi. Like, you've disturbed me, what is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's backing up with ready for a fight. Hi. Hi. Like, you've disturbed me. What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's backing up with his dukes up. Yeah. So I answer, hello, Vaughan speaking, and they say, hi, Vaughan,

it's so-and-so here. How are you? And I'm like, good. And then I pause because I've said good. I say, how are you? Yeah. I leave a little pause. How are you?

And they say, good. Now the ball's in their court. They've called me, right? There's a bit of silence. Yeah, take it away. There's a bit of silence. Sex.life's still playing. Oh, no.

So they think I've started talking, but it's Morgan talking about her sexual massage with the happy ending. It's talking about, and I do believe the part I was up to where she was describing, he was sliding up and down me and we were making body farts. Yes. Now, I was like, ah.

Who's this guy on the phone? I'm driving. Yeah. This is, no, it's worse. It's not the guy I was dealing with. It's someone in the office. It's a lady. Oh, no.

In the office. You're a pest now. I'm a pest now. Hello, Bourne Smith speaking. Hello, how are you? Good, good, how are you? Sliding up and down my body. And then he's sliding up and down me making body farts.

And then I'm like, ah, hold on. And she's like, who's that? I was like, don't know. Oh, no. Because the whole screen, I'm driving, the whole screen's on the phone call thing. So you've got to get back to the app. So I've got to go back.

Menu and then podcast and then pause. I press home. It takes me right out of Apple CarPlay back to like the Suzuki Jimny main menu. Hang up. Oh, yeah, I would have hung up. That would have been a good play. That would have been a better play. I was panicking.

Yeah. And I'm driving, so I'm like, I don't want to smash up into the ass of someone because then imagine she's listening to this and then they're sliding up and down and it's body fights.

Ah! Crash! No airbags in the gym here, I don't think. Oh, there might be ah airbags, so she might hear pfft.

Yeah. I think it's a blanket. I think it's a blanket. I think it just throws a big blanket out. Very low ANCAP safety rating. It's probably a beach ball.

Or like a unicorn floaty left over that was recalled from a Chinese factory chucked in there. It just puts a unicorn in your face. And I was just like, hold on, wait a minute. And she's like, who is that? I was like, oh, I just, it's. Oh, no, what? How long was it?

And so I paused it and she was like, oh. Because she obviously had heard a few key words. Oh, I was like, sorry. And then I was like, I was listening to a podcast. And she's like, interesting podcast. She thinks I'm listening to a woman describing some smutty ass. I mean, which I was. You were.

I was. They're my friends, though. But also. Oh, God. Oh, no. I feel like you need to follow that up with like, I was. They're my friends, though. But also. Oh, God. Oh, no. I feel like you need to follow that up with like, this was an email when they send me the quote or whatever. Yeah.

Or the bank details for deposit transfer. I'll be like. But then it's going to be like, oh, hey, just to clarify the other day when you called. Maybe not. Maybe I'll just leave it. I'm never going to see this person again. It's so unfortunate, Vaughn, because any time I get in your car,

you're always listening to some, you know, man talking about audiophiles or a D&D podcast or like some blokes chatting and stuff. Most of the time. Once a week, you listen to Sex.Life. Oh, mate. I would honestly say Sex.Life is probably the only podcast I listen to that couldn't be listened to on a speaker in front of anybody. Yeah, yeah, mate. I would honestly say Sex.Life is probably the only podcast I listen to that couldn't be listened to on a speaker in front of anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It needs a bit of explaining. Now, we will say while we're here, episode six, which is what you're talking about, came out on Wednesday. Yes. So if you want to catch up wherever you podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, it's all thanks to our friends at Wild Secrets. There's a promo code as well.

Sex.life. Yeah, that gives you 20% discount on your next purchase at wildsecrets.co.nz. What a friend. Good man. Giving the podcast a little plug there. Listening, supporting, plugging. Unreal.

Final rankings are next on the show. I'm very excited about today's final rankings. Me too, me too. Yeah, we do this every Friday. We rank our favourite things. Today, it's Microsoft Programs. Yes. Publ it's Microsoft programs. Yes. Publisher.

Number one. Of the Office suite, but including all of history. Okay, yeah. We're going as far back as you can want to for a Microsoft program. Where will Excel end up? We'll find out next. We'll play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. It's the final rankings.

We do this every Friday. We rank our favourite things. Normally it's food. Today, though, we have chosen Microsoft, what do you call them? Programs. My Microsoft, because I have a MacBook and I pay for Microsoft Office.

Yeah. Because I don't want to put my cards on the table here, but I love Word. Word, yeah. I don't use Pages. Yeah, Because I don't want to put my cards on the table here, but I love Word. Word, yeah. I don't use Pages, not into it. Word slaps. Word slaps. So I pay for it, but it is so expensive. I will say that the Apple ones have got better. Like, what is it

their version of Word? Is it Pages? Pages. That has got better. And they've got Keynote. And Numbers is their version of Excel, yeah. But when I, I'm just looking at my subscriptions, when I pay for Office, it's like nearly $200 a year. Wow.

To pay for it. A business expense, you know. Of course. All the scripts and stuff I write. Oh no, sorry, it's $120 a year. Do I pay $150 for the MBA? Jesus, what? Go back to that. Deal with that later. You have got to rein in your subscriptions. Do I pay $150 for the NBA? Jesus. Go back to that.

Deal with that later. You have got to rein in your subscriptions. It's really out of control. Anyway, I'm going to come straight out the gate with my top three. It's very, very easy for me. Okay. Number three. We were having a look because there's PowerPoint, Word, Excel, Publisher. Which you never used Publisher.

Never used it. Publisher in the 90s, 2000s was your go-to for homework and assignments. Publisher was the first. For what? Like, what does it do? Science spares anything. Cover letters. You could put borders around the outside.

That's what Word does. I know, but it was before Word could do this. This was when Word was very simple. Word was very clunky for adding stuff. If you needed to drag a photo in and write text around it, it was Publisher. Because when I had my 12th birthday, which was 2001, I made the invite on Word.

And it had a floral border and it had little dolls and stuff. Word art and whatnot. Yeah. So my top three are very easy. I'm going number three, PowerPoint.

I love a PowerPoint presentation and now they can get very fancy. What can't I do? But I don't think I've ever really used a PowerPoint because I don't,

have never done a presentation. Do you use them for like comedy shows? Is that what you use for a... I did do a comedy show. Tim Batts got a comedy gig where you do a PowerPoint presentation. Do you use them for like comedy shows? Is that what you use for a... I did do a comedy show. Tim Batts got a comedy gig where you do a PowerPoint presentation. Okay. Yeah.

But no, I can't. Why have I used it recently? We used it during lockdown for HYBPA. That's how we ran the graphics was Aaron on a PowerPoint display. It was so crazy. Aaron like behind the scenes. So PowerPoint, I love it. It's good fun. I love the slides. I love the transitions. I love checkboard into the next slide. I love a soft dissolve. I love it. Like boomerang in. Number two is Word. I love it. It's good fun. I love the slides. I love the transitions. I love check board into the next slide.

I love a soft dissolve. I love it. Like boomerang in. Number two is Word. I use it all the time. I write my scripts on Word. I write everything on Word. I love Word.

And number one is Excel. For a diet plan, for a schedule, for a budget. For a holiday budget. For our house, we use Excel so much. Do you do that thing where you make the column add up at the bottom? Yeah, I auto-sum that shit out of my Excel spreadsheets. So that's me. Excel's number one by a country mile.

I just Googled Microsoft Publisher. On Feb 15 of this year, so only a month ago, Microsoft announced that Publisher will reach the end of its life on October 13, 2026. It's got no relevance anymore. Word does it all. Wait, is there still a Publisher? Yeah, but it's not in, I couldn't find it in our.

I couldn't find it in a modern office. We can log into our email and then get the apps. And we've only got like Excel, OneNote, PowerPoint, Word. Do you guys, this just popped into my head. I was thinking there was this one that was like a step above Word, but was a little bit more serious than Publisher. Microsoft Works. Do you remember Microsoft Works?

I don't remember Microsoft Works. A discontinued productivity software suite developed by Microsoft and sold from 87 to 2009. Its core functionality includes a word processor, a spreadsheet, and a database management system. It was like an all-in-one. Right. Works was... It's like a shampoo conditioner.

Yeah. It's against your shoulders. I'll go Word, Excel, Publisher. Publishers are number one. For the old school. Wow. I'm about to absolutely pickle your pieces.

Okay, go. Encarta 95. That's not a Microsoft No, because if we're doing that, well, I'll paint. Paint's number one.

MS Paint's my number one. MS Paint. Oh my God, I figured Microsoft Are we including that? I know we're doing Microsoft Office. No, no, no,

it's Microsoft Office. I thought we were doing Office. Well, this opens the whole thing up. No, I'm doing Paint. Okay, well, I'm going to do Paint, word, Excel, or publisher.

How good was paint? Just doing a squiggly line, then going bucket fill. Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill. Gorgeous. Until you accidentally clicked on the line and your entire black line got filled in red. I know, it was awful. What about solitaire or minesweeper? Games.

Well, where are you drawing the line here? You just said programs. That's a program. They weren't exclusively, those weren't exclusively Microsoft. Yeah, they were. But you could play that elsewhere. You could play a game of Solitaire.

Yeah, but you can type words elsewhere. Because I had three Excel, because the mind boggles at its possibilities. I don't know how to use it. What about MS-DOS? That's more of an entire operating system. People are saying Hayley, stop paying for Office. Just use Google Docs. I use both.

So stop paying for Office. You log on to your work email and it's all there free. I like paying for it. And Google Docs is free. That rules. Number two for me is Publisher and number one is Paint. Oh yeah, good. You've really blown things apart with the Microsoft free. That rules. Number two for me is publisher and number one is paint. Oh, yeah, good. You've really blown things apart with the Microsoft programs.

And Word. And WordPad. Remember WordPad? Oh, yes. Oh, WordPad was useless. Rich text formatting. Stupid. RTF.

Okay, well, what am I replacing? Because paint's got to go in there. It could be top two for me. I think paint's got to be number one if we've all gone paint. PowerPoint's gone. I'm putting PowerPoint away because I don't use it as often. I'll paint's going to be number one if we've all gone paint. PowerPoint's gone. I'm putting PowerPoint away because I don't use it as often. I'll go word. Paint

still Excel. I use it on the daily. Okay, there you go. So we think paint's number one. Paint's number one and Excel feels number two. Do squiggles. Fill them in, fill them in, fill them in. Lick mam, lick mam. Art. I did art. And then when you get'am. Look, ma'am. Art.

I did art. And then when you get a little bit older, when you get a bit older, be on the squiggle in the bucket full. Right, click. Save bitmap image of boobies. Do Ebby's paint. What?

Is that what we're talking about? What? No. You're doing what in paint? On the family computer. Paint is an innocent program. Don't sully an innocent program. We didn't have a computer. Chris Jensen's computer.

That's awesome. Oh, Chris's. So you sullied another family's computer. The Ferguson family computer. That's awesome. Shut door. Let's have a look at some boobies. You know what I'm talking about.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's. Well, well, well. Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in, eh? He's back, baby, and he's talking technical recessions because we don't know what that means and apparently we're on one. Good morning, Brad. Good morning.

It's so nice to talk to you and I so wish I had better news. Brad! The economy is in a challenged position. You've seen all this talk of a technical recession. What that means is that economic activity has fallen again. We saw it down just 0.1% in the December quarter. So, I mean, maybe good news is that we might still be in denial because that was three months ago.

Who knows what's happening now? But, look, spending, a big part of that, household spending falling at the greatest pace it has since 1992. Those mortgage rates are hitting. Brad, I'm trying. I literally just bought a new jacket. I'm doing my part. You should

see it, Brad. It looks good on everyone that wears it. It does, Brad. If you were here, you'd put it on and it would look great on you too. It's like sisterhood of the travelling pants except a jacket. Is this going to the Excel spreadsheet? Yeah, it's in the spreadsheet, but it's in the hidden tab. But I don't believe Aaron, the fiancé,

knows about this purchase, does he? Well, he saw it yesterday and said, that's cute. I said, this old thing. Anyway, Brad. So people are not spending as much. And since 1992, that is quite a sobering statistic.

Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty big fall. I mean, and it's the sort of thing, geez, the population has grown so much in the last year. Fastest population growth New Zealand's seen since 1946, since the end of the Second World War. So with that, you'd be expecting a lot more people, requires a lot more spending in the economy, but those interest rates are hitting. So that fall was, it's the sharpest fall.

It's not that we're spending like 1992. It's just that it's fallen back at the fastest pace since the last time it fell that big was in 92. But it highlights, look, I mean, households are under pressure. People are having to make difficult decisions around where they're spending. We've seen data out as well in the last couple of weeks

that's shown that over the last couple of years, Kiwis have been, funnily enough, spending more on the essentials, the likes of food and that, spending less on recreation and culture. I mean, it's all expected. But here's maybe, again, glimmer of hope, maybe. We also saw this week consumer confidence data

showing that people feel a bit more confident about the year ahead, which feels odd when we're in a recession, when we're talking about these tough times. What it seems to be is that maybe we're in the thick of it at the moment. It is tough. It is difficult. But maybe thinking that next year interest rates might edge down a bit, that feeling of not great right now, but maybe light at the end of the tunnel. It's not another train coming down. It might actually be sunlight.

Yeah, I feel like when I was talking to my mortgage broker and fixing, they were talking in much shorter terms than, you know, they were saying 12 months or 18 months because the hope is that they're going to be coming down soon. Yeah, I mean, that's certainly what a lot of people are saying at the moment. Again, like if you look at these GDP figures, of course, not great. You know, technical recession doesn't sound good.

It does give a bit more information, though, to the Reserve Bank, the guys who set interest rates, saying, look, economic activity is pulling back. That's what they wanted because that's how we'll bring down that sort of inflationary pressure. So sort of that double-edged sword, economic activity pulling back, but also maybe less inflation, that's good. And over

time you can start to release just how hard the break is being pushed on the economy. So I think, look, for most people out there that I talk to, a lot of people are saying, look, it is tough. I'm having to make some pretty difficult decisions around where I spend or where I don't. Is it one jacket

or two that I'm buying when I go out to the shops? But again, maybe people think next year. Next year might be a better year. Because you need a casual one and a formal one though, Brad. Do you know what I mean? I couldn't wear this jacket I'm wearing now to a formal occasion.

It's far too casual. No, it can't be dressed up. No. You need a reversible jacket. Oh, smart from you actually. That's two for the price of one and a bit. He just girl-mathed a jacket. That's such an economist thing to say. You need two jackets in one. Two in one jacket. Oh, that's a great point. Smart from you actually. That's two for the price of one and a bit. He just girl-matched a jacket. That's such an economist thing to say.

You need two jackets in one. Two in one jacket. What about, like, there's about to be cuts for public servants, like government departments are knocking back. Ministry of Health announced yesterday that like 25% of people in their Wellington headquarters are going to lose their jobs. Is that good for anyone?

Well, I mean, certainly not for those who are working in the public sector. And look, I mean, these are real people, right? Yeah, totally. We're talking about numbers in the media. And I mean, the media itself is going through these. I mean, you know, you're talking about News Hub, you're talking about TNZ, you're talking about any ministry in Wellington. You know, those are real people in their livelihood.

So I think it's tough sometimes how callously we talk about it. For the government, the challenge is that they've sort of said, look, they want to spend less as a government because we have been seeing that the tax take hasn't been in the robust position. So from a government point of view, they've got to pay for higher inflation on the services they provide for Kiwis. They've got to pay for the larger population, but they're bringing in a little bit less money, so they're having to try and trim their sales, just like households are with their household budgets. I think it's more that we sort of saw quite large growth

in the public sector the last couple of years. We didn't think about it much. We didn't talk about it much, and now we're having to cut back to slightly lower levels than before. It's sort of hitting a lot quicker. Look, guys, I mean, I'm in Wellington. It's tough. You know, it's pretty grim out there on the street.

People not feeling quite as upbeat, that's for sure. But again, I think it's one of those things. You want to get the economy onto a more balanced field. It's been sort of sitting a bit precarious for a while. We've been a little bit juiced up and sugared up for a bit. Time to sort of bring it back, perhaps. Thank God those landlords are getting tax cuts. No good news there.

No good news. Are we going to start to see biscuits tracking down anytime soon, Brad? Yeah. Maybe not. I mean, the thing I'm worried about is we're coming up to Easter, of course. We know that chocolate prices across the world have increased. So, yeah, chocolate prices might be increasing. Oh, my gosh.

More bad news. Like I said, next prices might be increasing. Oh my gosh. More bad news. Like I said, next year may be better. Oh gosh. I'm clutching at the straws here, aren't I? Yeah, next year. We literally just started this year. Yeah. Chief Executive and Principal Economist Brad Olsen,

thank you so much. And friend. And friend. And friend of the show. And friend of the show as well, despite your bad news. Because he did a day in the office a couple of weeks back, so he's a colleague now. Brad Olsen, thank you so much. And friend. And friend of the show. Friend, colleagues. Because he did a day in the office a couple of weeks back, so he's a colleague now.

Brad Olsen, thank you so much for that sobering account of the economy right now. Can't wait to get Brad into this jacket, though. Yeah, it's a great jacket. Can't wait. It's going to look good. Next on the show, what is the dumbest thing you've done to get someone's attention? I actually

got called out for this behaviour yesterday. Brady's just been messaging me. XL is his number one. Okay, oh good. Yeah, so he's number one. Now, this has really caught my attention and it's related to something that someone messaged me about yesterday. So a woman shared on TikTok that she's trying to get the attention

of a boy she likes. Yeah. And she's doing it by liking the sports teams that he follows on Instagram and liking their posts. So then when it pops up on his feed, he's like, oh my God, Hayley's into Miami Heat. She's already liked it. Okay, that's quite genius.

It's so good. Because you would notice that, right? Yeah, youley's into Miami Heat. She's the one who liked it. Okay, that's quite genius. It's so good. Because you would notice that, right? Yeah, you go on pages that you like and you go, oh, Carl Fletcher liked this. I had no idea he was into this. Oh my God, that's so cute. We should, off you go. Yeah. And she's doing it to try to get their attention.

I love that. I just love humans trying to interact with other humans. Rather than just being like, hey, I think you're cute. Just being like, well, I like these things. Now, it is of no... This is why people post thirst traps, right? 100%. Because they're trying to get someone's attention.

No coincidence that as of late, I have been upping the thirst traps on my social media and wearing far more Metallica T-shirts than I usually would because a certain someone's in the country. And I posted... And does a certain someone's in the country. And I posted... And does a certain someone see your stories? Yeah. Okay, good.

And then I posted a video from my bed the other day saying like, guys, I'm not coming to the like Glen Gary, Jason Momoa vodka signing thing. And in the video, I was like, angles, lighting, soft. You can see I'm in a bra, just quickly get a few things in. Steph who listens to the show called me out and saying Hayley, this gives

me big logging in and out of MSN to try to get someone's attention vibes. Good. The door when your friends are at home pop up the little name on the thing. 100%.

What a retro callback. That's amazing. I said this is 100% what is happening here, Steph. Anyway, and then, so we started laughing

this morning about the dumb things you did to get someone's attention. Yeah. Producer Shannon, who is with her boyfriend who's a magician, just admitted that

she tried to learn a magic trick for Brendan. Yeah. And that it backfired and it actually gave him a bit of ick. Yeah, well, I just Googled easy magic trick because I thought, how cute. But he's the magician. Well, I know, but I wanted to show an interest. He can talk and I do radio, but I couldn't do magic, you know?

You're right. So I learnt this trick and i do it and i was like tada and he looked at me so confused and he's like do it again and i did it and turns out i fluked an incredible trick because like the third card down was the three and he's like wow she's stacked the whole deck it was just a coincidence i just yeah and i think he was like i thought she was quite good but actually she's just really embarrassing. How embarrassing. And you also said ta-da, which I hope he doesn't say. They don't say that, hon.

Yeah, no, they don't. I think it gave him the ick a bit. But, I mean, here we are four years later. So it worked. Still can't do magic. Yeah, yeah. While it hasn't worked for this chick on TikTok, it hasn't worked for me and my absolute baiting that I've been doing for the last two months.

I do love these stories, though. Yeah. Because we are human, aren't we? We are. I feel like guys would do dumb things that would put them in danger physically. Yeah. Like, watch me climb this thing. Or I'm going to walk across that.

Or I bet I can outrun that bull. Totally. Whereas women do these, like, things. Yeah. Like I'm not even trying to get your attention. I just love that sports team. That's her whole thing. Is that a pick me girl? I don't know if it's a pick me girl. It's a pick me adjacent.

Right now though, talking about the dumbest thing you did to get a possible suitor's attention because a girl on TikTok is like liking all of his sports teams and whatnot. Yeah. We've all done it. Anonymous, what did you do to get somebody's attention that you liked?

Hi, guys. So, not super proud of this one. But it was my first year in Otago. Yeah. And I went to the Cook RIP. RIP. RIP. One of the great spots. One of the great spots.

One of the great spots. I think it was the last year that the Cook existed. And I met this guy and he was a third year, very cool and we got chatting and I was like oh yep, I'm doing well here. He started telling me how he was really into diving and for some reason with liquid courage I

just decided to create this web of lies that I too was into diving. And for some reason with liquid courage, I just decided to create this web of lies that I too was into diving. Oh, no, no, no. Diving's so dangerous to just... Under the sea diving or platform?

I mean, under the sea diving. Oh, okay. Under the sea. Not platform diving. Sorry, scuba diving. Yeah. And that I had,

you know, I'd go out on the weekend and I'd get crayfish. You know you have to have a license. Oh, my God. You have to have a scuba diving. Yeah. And that I had, you know, I'd go out on the weekend and I'd get crayfish. You know you have to have a license. Oh, my God. You have to have a scuba license. Yeah, where did you get your paddy dive certificate? Well, luckily he didn't ask me that because I would have no answers.

Did he ask you where you go diving? Yeah, he was like, where do you go diving? I was like, oh, you know, Whangarei Heads. Oh, yeah. Good play if he's not from the area. Duh, in the sea. Yeah, duh. And yeah, no,

it worked out well for me, but luckily, I never saw this man again because the next day I was like, why did I, why did I do this? That could have been

your future husband, but you blew it by lying and you couldn't continue this web of lies. So did you get a hookup out of it? Did you get a hookup out of it?

Absolutely. Oh, yeah, you never saw him again. I never saw him again. You got what you wanted. I was going to say, we call that a catch and release in the diving world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say I did get my paddy license after that.

Oh, yeah. Yes, you do. You finally threw in the lie. Happy ending. Happy ending. I threw in the lie. Now if you met him, you can actually say you dived. Did you measure his snapper before you bagged it?

What's the story there? Was it of legal size? You've got to let the little ones go, don't you? You've got to be 27, 29 centimetres through. Inside, turn into the snail. Anonymous, thank you. Keep your texts and calls coming through. We'll get to more of those next.

You're all so embarrassing. Oh, no, the top one. I know. It's the dumbest thing you've done to get somebody's attention. Loving this. Yeah. Oh, getting some great messages through. I strictly listen to rock music, his favorite genre,

because he followed me on Spotify, and I thought it would impress him. I ruined my own algorithm. Do you remember when you could follow people on Spotify? I think you still can. I had friends follow me and be like, hey, why are you listening to this? I was like, oh, go away. They tried to make it a social network. Yeah.

Nobody wants you listening. Calm down. It's just music. Yeah. I bought a Bible and pretended to be a Christian. Vorton Smith knows that move. He tried that a few times, didn't he? Young Vorton Smith.

Loved the challenge. Yeah, loved it. I knew he liked whiskey, so I took it to a house party and tried to act cool like it was my drink of choice also. Tried to shot it and threw up in front of everyone. Oh, yeah. It's not really a shotter, is it? It's a sipper.

Guy dumped me. Oh, my God. This is crazy. Okay. A guy dumped me, so I told him I was pregnant and it was his baby. Okay, we've got a crazy, we've got a crazy on the loose. He turned up at my work half an hour later with a pregnancy test, escorted me to the bathroom and made me take it then and there.

Negative. Made me do another one. Negative. Well done on the bluff calling. Wow. So did he get a two pack and wanted, just had the other ones? Just for confirmation. They usually come in a two.

Yeah. Yeah. Give him a little two.. Getting a little two. Getting a little two. Also, you had crazy written all over you. He knew, right? He knew. He knew.

We know. There's an old saying about putting... Yeah, we don't say that on the radio, though. Things are crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you never. And you don't let a crazy put... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Never. It's sort of a works universally situation. I tried learning about astrology in primary school to get with a girl I liked. All that planet stars real white girl shit.

Imagine being like, oh yeah, man. I guess my Pisces isn't rising. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And she'll be like, oh my God. What?

I'm a Capricorn. And we go great together. Oh my God, that's crazy. I don't know if I can do it right now, but Mercury's in retrograde. Yeah, oh yeah. And there's a couple of Sagittarius that are really giving me the ups and downs.

Not me, but a mate jumped off a bridge to try to impress a couple of ladies. Yeah. He was into, turns out the bottom of the river wasn't as deep as he thought. Oh yeah. Oh, you can die.

You can die. You can die. That is dumb. You can break your neck. Yeah. Oh, I'm just pre-reading this one. Okay. I was teaching for 20 years and I once saw this year four boy who was super naughty but still one of my favourite students. His name was Patrick.

Turns out all the Patricks I taught were naughty but totally lovable rogues. Anyway, once this particular Patrick swallowed two maths counters. And they got stuck in his throat. And I said, Patrick, why did you swallow two maths counters? And he said, because I like Tyler and I wanted to impress her. Haven't you just wanted to get somebody's attention before? I said, yes, but I wouldn't normally swallow maths counters. I'd hate to think what Patrick ended up doing as a teenager

to get girls' attention. Probably pretending he was pregnant. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Patrick hooks up with a dude and he's like, and breaks up, and Patrick's like, I'm pregnant. And the guy's like, take the test, Patrick.

Yeah. Okay, so sexism. The guy's like, take the test, Patrick. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Okay, so sexism. I'm calling out some straight up, straightforward sexism. Because yesterday we had a big meeting in the afternoon. So we all went and did our own thing. You mean 11.30.

Well, that's our afternoon. I was gagging for a Prosecco at that point. Yeah. We went and did our own thing and came back and reunited and you went to the gym. Yeah. And you said that you were going to jump into an ice bath after the gym but boo hoo. Wait

were you? Yeah because I had a shower. I was going to have a shower before coming back to work because I was sweaty. Does your gym have ice baths? Yeah. No no no. Not the whole gym though Vaugh before coming back to work because I was sweaty. Does your gym have ice baths? Yeah. No, no, no. Not the whole gym though, Vaughn. Because that's what I said. It's like an ice bath.

Were you going to go to one of those specific places that has the chambers and the tubs and stuff? And you're like, no, there's an ice bath in the men's changing room. Yeah, in the old steam room, there's two little ice baths. They couldn't just meet in the middle, could they? They've gone from steam to ice. Yeah, I know, literally. It's all just whatever's the rage and ice baths are all the rage at the moment. This has shocked me because I don't have an ice bath in the

women's changing rooms. I didn't even know that was a service provided. Do you have to share icy water with other people? Well, I guess so. They don't clear the water out between ices. Nah, it's like a spa, I guess. Yeah, it's like a cold spa. Yeah, but do they crank chlorine in it?

No, I don't believe so. Because there's a science saying you've got to wash yourself off after the sauna. You've got to have a shower. Oh, okay. Give it a rinse. But I've never even caught wind of this, let alone had one. So by the time you jumped in the ice bath, you were pretty much the pot at the end of the dishes.

Like the glassware has been done, the plates have been done. You're the manky old crusty pot with cheese melted to the side. That you're going to leave to soak for the night. It had been emptied. So I was like, oh, I guess I'm not having an ice bath. But it's been emptied. We don't even have one. Have you been ice bathed?

No, I've never done an ice bath. I was going to say, because I believe social media rules state. If one gets in an ice bath, one must let everyone know that an ice bath is being entered. Okay, well, I'll be sure to let you know. Yes. Please do. Why do the women not have one? And then I was like, do you know what this is? Because they think that the men lift the big weights. Because women are always cold as it is.

You've worked in an office? Turn it down. Actually, you are the first woman I've ever known to be like... Who runs very hot. I want it freezing. Who wants a really chilly room temp on the thermostat. I know Georgia comes in and she's like, it's so cold in here. Yeah, put a jacket on.

Shut up, day show. Anyway, I can't believe this. And then, so the only thing that I could work out is that the gym must assume, because the boys lift the big muscles, they need the ice bath, and because the girls are crunching the ones and twos, that we don't need an ice bath. I demand an ice bath. Well, you're talking to the wrong person.

I don't, I'm not in charge of ice baths. Well, I'm going to come in because you know I use men's toilet without apologising. Actually, you're not allowed to because then you'll see everyone like walking around. Well, that's fine. I'm not going to, I'm not going to look at the willies. Unless you like maybe put a wig on and. Yeah, I think there's probably more men in the, and I know what, Jim, you guys go to, there's more men in the men's bathroom looking at willies than Hayley would be. Yeah, I think there's probably more men in the, and I know what, Jim, you guys go to, there's more men in the men's bathroom looking at willies than Hayley would be.

Yeah, exactly. She would just be another bloody boat on the sea, you know, this sea full of boats looking at willies. I'm head down. I could bap sound. They wouldn't even care, that crowd. Everybody, every ship in that sea is hunting Moby Dick. Yeah, exactly.

Got a bunch of Captain Abrams in there. I'm just another sailor. You just put a feedback form in. I shall be. I shall be. Don't have a go at me. I don't know. I'm not in sailor You just put a feedback form in I shall be Don't have a go at me I'm not in charge of the ice It's just straight up sexism isn't it There's been quite a major data breach

Here in New Zealand Over the last week I feel like these happen every few months now It makes me very, very nervous. So the official word is on Friday the 15th of March, MediaWorks became aware

of claims of a cyber attack on our systems, the affected database that was identified and taken offline on Saturday the 16th of March and all current competition entries were moved to a new database.

So it's the competition system. Right. Now, lots of people enter competitions. That's how competitions work. Yes, enter competitions. That's how competitions work. Yes, they do. That's how competitions work. So it is something to be worried about

because it could have, whatever information you give, that's what you enter a competition is they've got access to. Some people went to the media and said, I've been contacted by the blackmailers. Well, the hackers who have become blackmailers because they're blackmailing you now.

They have said that they wanted Bitcoin for it. We attempted to negotiate with MediaWorks by offering them a very low price to have them secure the data, but unfortunately they displayed a disappointing lack of concern and refused. Blah, blah, blah. Now we are demanding 500 US dollars in

Bitcoin, so 820 New Zealand dollars in Bitcoin to protect you from potential harm. Gosh. And they're releasing it on the dark web. Goodness. They're doing a bit of a Dr. Evil here in the first Austin Powers. He's not asking for enough.

No, but that's per individual. That's when they're saying it to the individual, you pay us $800. Not to MediaWorks saying $800. But what's the info that's there? It's not like when you enter a competition it's like name, date of birth.

Some people uploaded photos and stuff. Keywords on adult websites. You're not putting in private stuff. So I heard that yesterday when I was driving home on a news board

and I thought there is a woman in my life who loves entering competitions. She said, oh, I don't win a lot. Your mum has won

a trip from a movie company to San Francisco. Mark Ruffalo was in that movie. That's why she likes Mark Ruffalo. Hayley's laughing. She did.

She entered one of those supermarkets. Was it a magazine? It was a magazine. She did. No, she does. She's won a Dulux bike,

a big yellow mountain bike. She won Dad a fishing rod. Yeah. But did. No, she does. She's won a Dulux bike, a mountain bike, a big yellow mountain bike. She won Dad a fishing rod. Yeah. For the amount she used to be, when we were a kid

we used to have to help her fill out competition things that she cut out and she'd put an envelope and a stamp on them and she used, she's definitely

calmed down. Right. But she was a lady who wanted things but we didn't have money growing up so I guess that was what she thought. I'll spend

45 cents on a stamp. Gotta be in to win. That's what it costs. Yeah. And I'll some of them were free post. Yeah. So I called Christine. No answer. She calls me back. This how mum is this. Sorry I was in the garden. That's what mums like to say. Sorry I ran for the phone but I was in the garden.

If only you could take your phone into the garden. Oh god if only there was a way that it was portable and not connected by a wire. Yeah. Oh, sorry, I was in the bedroom. Who knew? Again, if only you could take your phone with you. So I ring her, I'm like, hey, have you heard about this breach? I know you love entering in competitions, and, like, The Block was on TV3 and all of this sort of stuff.

Yeah, because this is when they had the TV channels. Oh, I think it was all of it. Yeah, right. So I was just like, I just want to remind you it's a time to be astute. Yeah. And don't be opening emails from people you don't know. Don't even read emails that look suspicious.

Just delete them straight away. If it's important, they'll get in touch with you another way. If you get a text from someone you don't know, like it could be saying anything like, hey, David, is this you? Delete it, ignore it. Totally. If it's the wrong number, you won't get sucked in.

Trust no one ever. Trust no one ever. I said, and this is, and I said our AI safe word. Oh, yeah, that's good. Because I work in the, there's thousands of hours of our podcast online. People could take our voices, get our parents' details, contact them, use a computer to be like, hey, mom, oh, my God, I need $10,000. I'll just transfer it and I'll call you back.

So I said our safe word. Also, that's not going to work for my mom. My mom would be like, where do you think I'm going to get $10,000 from? Yeah, get a grip. Actually not. Get a grip. That's what she'd say. Grow up.

Get a grip. Call me back when you've come to your bloody senses and then she'd hang up. So I said that and she was like, oh, okay. And she's like, now, should I be worried about, was it you that poked me? Oh, yeah. Because this week we found out Facebook poking's back. And I literally, last night I'd poked probably half of the people on my Facebook list.

I literally sat in bed and went through and poked every single person I'm friends with on Facebook. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Like a thousand. Yeah. And I was like, I don't even know through and poked every single person I'm friends with. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Like a thousand. Yeah, I was like, I don't even know that person. Poke. Oh my God, them.

I haven't thought about them in 20 years. Poke. Poke, poke, poke. Have you been hearing back from the people today? Heaps of people have messaged me

like, what are you doing, dude? What's up with the poke? I'm like, the poke's back, baby. People were getting upset that they weren't getting poked. But they had been poked. Yeah. People were like,

you didn't poke me. I go and I find the poke and I'm like, there you are. You've been poked. Yeah were like You didn't poke me I go and I find the poke And I'm like There you are You've been poked Yeah so it doesn't Notify you sometimes And they say

I didn't even see it And I was like That's how good I am I know Mysterious poker At a subtle poke He's not the joker He's the poker

You gotta know Where to hold him No wait That's the gambler That's the gambler Yeah yeah That's a rhyme doesn't it I'm so

Mum's like Was it you that poked me And I said what And she's like On Facebook It said Vaughn Smith Poked me And I said Oh yeah yeah And she's like Was it you that poked me? And I said what? And she's like on Facebook It said Vaughan Smith poked me And I said oh yeah yeah And she's like I've never been poked before

Now you're thinking Now she's saying stuff that I'm like I'm laughing I'm laughing but I'm trying to stay serious Because I'm dealing with I don't want my parents to be scammed And I'm like oh yeah And she's like Should I be poking people?

She's dropped saying on Facebook now, she's just saying poking. Yeah. Should I be poking people? I was like, no, I wouldn't worry about poking people. It's just a fun silly thing. What is poking? How does it work? What do you do?

I was like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about learning how to poke at your age. If you don't know how to poke at 66. Live your life. Yeah, live your life. If you don't know how to poke at 66. Live your life. Yeah, live your life. Poke free. And then this conversation just kept rolling and she just kept saying the most beautifully innocent

yet like outrageously dirty sentences about poking. Shall I poke Sade? I was like, I wouldn't poke Sade. She's like, did you poke Sade? Did you poke your father when you're poking me? Who is this poke for? They share a Facebook account. But he doesn't have his name on it.

He doesn't want anything to do with it. Okay, right, right. He just reads it. He'll read it every now and then. So it was a jewel poke, really. It was a jewel poke. But it's nice that you went through with mum and kind of said that. Honestly, I said to her, she's like, oh, you'll bloody laugh at this

and then said something about an email. I was like, I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I promise you this is the one thing that I won't laugh at you about if you ask a question. I'm not going to always have the answer, but I could look into it for you. But also, it's not like you read so many stories. It's not just people like our parents, Sage.

People in their 20s, 30s are getting scammed. Shannon. Shannon gets scammed. Honestly, she's a weekly scam. Yeah. You know? So yeah, you've just got to be so careful. Also, Vaughan Smith poked you three times in a row.

Give the lady a break. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day It's the last fact of pirate week I've had fun This has been a fun week Do you know what you're going to do next week? No

Okay We don't know yet Today I want to cover a female pirate Because I believe it was yesterday next week? No. Okay. We don't know yet. Today I want to cover a female pirate because I believe it was yesterday that Hayley said something about a female. What did you ask? I said I thought the women were just wenches. No, no, no. They actually had

ice baths on their pirate ships. The woman did. I don't even get one. Ice is very hard to come by and a luxury of sorts. Of course. There's a Wikipedia article called Woman and Piracy and there's so many pirate ladies. Oh, hot.

And especially in the 20th century. I reckon they would have smelled. Yeah, they would have smelled. Stinky and hairy. They would have smelled. So the really interesting part is the 20th century, all major pirates were from Southeast Asia,

the China Sea. I was like, that's where piracy moved to. Right. After it moved out of the Caribbean, which is the Caribbean Atlantic across there to England and Spain. That would be where I would be a pirate because it's beautiful. Yeah, but apparently the South Chinese Sea was massive for pirates as well. And it's in the South China Sea that we are going to learn about a pirate today

called Jingyi Xiao. Great pronunciation too there, by the way. Thank you. Nailed it. Thank you. 1884 was when she died. Exactly. I hit it with a bit of confidence.

Confidence. Confidence, eh? Yeah. That's what you're going to do. I did say to my father-in-law who's staying with us, Anne speaks some Mandarin, although as he said, he's rusty. I said, how would you say this? And that's how he said it.

Oh, he does his research after hours. See, I knew. Great pronunciation. So she lived from approximately, no one's exactly sure, 70, 75 to 1844. And at the height of her pirate leadership, she was in charge of the Guangdong Pirate Confederation, which composed of over 400 junks, which were what?

The ships were called? Yep, yep. 400 junks and 40,000 to 60,000 pirates. Oh, wow. In 1805. She was a badass. Boss B. When she was born, she was born in a village, a fishing village.

She may have worked as a prostitute on a floating brothel. That's what she told people. Right. And it's there that she met her husband, Jingyi, a pirate. He was a pirate, and that was her step into piracy. Now, he died. He died.

Mm. Right. And she was like, I'm in charge now. And if you've watched Griselda, you know the Netflix thing? Oh, that's so good. Where everyone took her seriously,

and she had to work really hard to prove herself, and was not afraid to be cutthroat about it. Yeah. That's what she was like. This sounds like it needs a Netflix series. It sounds like it needs a Netflix. It does, eh? Totally needs a Netflix.

I could play her. So, um... Why not? I'm very transformative as an actor. Um... What's the issue? Let me audition. Get me in the room.

Yeah, we'll let you audition. Let me get the hands on the script. You can audition, but it's just going to be... You can outwrite it, but we're going to need... What's the... Okay. I want to show you in the room what I can hands on the script. It's just going to be, you can outwrite it, but we're going to need. What's the, okay. I'm going to show you in the room what I can bring to the character. During her time as the head of the Pirate Confederation, she went to war.

You know, people were hunting her and she wasn't afraid to stand up to them. She went up against the East India Company, which were a massive trading conglomerate. They do the tonics, don't they? That's what it's named after. The East India is named after that company because it was the company that got tonic to the British soldiers in India who were getting malaria

and the gin and tonic would keep the mosquitoes at bay. Yum, though. That's why I drink a lot of gin and tonics. Malaria. She also went in against the Portuguese Empire, who were massive at the time, and also the ruling Chinese dynasty at the time. She wasn't afraid to get in and muck in with them

and make a real mess. This is great. What a character. She had three rules, three codes that the pirates should live by. Okay. One, if any pirate goes ashore privately, his ears will be mutilated. Ooh. He'll be paraded around the fleet. One, if any pirate goes ashore privately, his ears will be mutilated.

Ooh. He'll be paraded around the fleet. Oh my gosh. And then executed. Oh. She will keep the ears. She's a psychopath. Not the least thing, she'll be taken privately from the stolen and plunders good. All stolen goods shall be registered, and pirates will be given their share

after the management have taken theirs. Alright. And women captured from villages shall not be harmed or harassed. All women captive shall be registered, their place of origin recorded, and given separate quarters. Feminism. Anyone who broke that rule would be executed. In front of everybody to show them the rules. She's a bit of a bad ass.

I like her. This is definitely a Netflix series in the making. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So today's fact of the day is females were pirates and Jingyi Cao was one of the most badass of the lot. Great pronunciation. How do you know?

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We've had a text. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Now, my friends, we have received some correspondence, some Stots correspondence from a listener who has an issue and has brought it to us on the text machine. And I think we could take it to ourselves and to the listeners because it's a bit crunchy, this. It says, hey, FVH. Now, that's us. I have. What does the V stand for? Vaughan. That's says, hey, FVH. Now, that's us. I have.

I hear that you love. What does the V stand for? Vaughn. That's you, my darling. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy, yeah. Wow.

You only just realised. Cool, man. Thanks, guys. I hear you love a conundrum, and I have one for you. My friend has a new-ish partner. She's obsessed with him, and honestly, he's very nice. However, in caps, he straight up flirts with me every time we are together. It's only when she's not in earshot,

but it's definitely conscious and quite overt. Ooh, okay. Do I tell my friend that her new partner is flirting with me? So they're obviously going out the new... She says new boyfriend. New-ish. But it's new-ish, okay. New-ish, so you'd say, what's that, six months?

Is he just being nice and she's misreading it? No, but she's saying only, like, he's really nice, but only when they're not in the air shot of the girl, of her friend. It's definitely conscious and quite overt. What would you do? Because that's your, like, your friend. I'm trying to think about whether this has ever happened or even remotely. No.

Do you know what, though? This has happened. Can I say it? This has happened, surely. This has happened to Aaron. So Aaron had a girlfriend for a few years. And one night she went out and was very much hitting on and flirting with one of Aaron's like closest mates. And Aaron's mate, the first thing he did the next morning

was like, you need to like have a talk because this is what was happening. I'll speak as the sexiest member of my group of friends. Where did that title come from? Was that self-appointed? Hang on. Let's just see who the gaggle was actually listening this morning. Oh, not the gaggle.

Too many gays. They're constantly flirting with me. That's an absolute. That's skewed. It's a grey zone. They were arguing yesterday in the group chat about who I poked the most. Yeah, yeah. They're dying for Big Daddy in that group.

All of them are falling over themselves. But that doesn't make you the hottest in the group. No, no, no, not in that group. Yeah, yeah. On Facebook. They're dying for Big Daddy in that group. All of them are falling over themselves. Yeah, but that doesn't make you the hottest in the group. No, no, no, not in that group. My heterosexual group of mates. It must be very hard to bring their partners around me. I mean, I'm fine. And their partners give me a little something. I give them a little something back.

A little bit of this, a bit of that. But I let them know at the end of the day, they can't have this, they can't have this. You'll never get this. La, la, la, la, la have this, they can't have this. You'll never get this. La la la la la. Oh my god. Yeah, right. Well, I wonder if we can get some advice from our listeners because my instinct, if my

best friend's husband hit on me and was flirty, even remotely flirty, I would maybe say to Jess, it's very funny to talk about this, I'd be like, I think Marty's a bit flirty. Yeah, he's a bit bloody flirty. I would maybe say to Jess, it's very funny to talk about this, I'd be like, I think Marty's a bit flirty. Yeah, he's a bit bloody flirty. When, going back to when Aaron,

Aaron's friends got flirted with, what did he do about it? Had a convo and the relationship ended. Yeah. Wow. Because I think it opened up a bit of a can of worms. There was obviously an issue there.

Well, that, you know, his mate wasn't the only one who was being flirted with. So once it kind of opened and Aaron was sharing, I think other mates were a bit like, don't open a can of worms unless you're going to finish the whole can because they don't keep in the fridge. So we had a text into the studio. Yeah, a conundrum from a listener about the fact that their friend's boyfriend is flirting with them quite overtly. And she said it's a newish relationship, but when the friend is out of earshot, he cranks it up. So you've got two options.

Do you tell the friend or do you just not tell the friend because that's an awkward conversation and it's awkward. Also, it's new. Like she said, it's newish. So I'm like, are they in a little teething thing? Maybe he's getting his flirting out of the system. Patricia, what do you reckon she, she said it's newish, so I'm like, are they in a little teething thing? Maybe he's getting his flirting out of the system. Patricia, what do you reckon she should do?

Weaning himself off. Weaning off. I think if she's got enough good bond with her friends and everything like that, I think just to, like, kind of say a hey, like a nice little word to her

and just be like, look, you know, that is what it is. Yeah. But what you do with it, that's up to you. Because women famously take it well

when their partner when their friends give them bad news about their partner they never pick the partner side over the friends never

you were saying Patricia do it softly just easy light easy breezy yeah exactly

don't go all in and call a bloody hooey in the lounge do you say the other day your boyfriend said this to me do you think

that's weird oh my god Fletch is so nice super flirty though he's got a real flirty energy Do you say like, oh, the other day, like, your boyfriend kind of said this to me. Do you think that's weird? Oh, my God. I love, like, oh, my God, Fletch is so nice. Super flirty, though, eh? Like, he's got a real flirty energy. Maybe I'll do that. And then maybe like that, thank you for your call. Good advice, actually, Patricia.

Ashley, what do you think? I would definitely say something, just because if that was happening to me, I would want my best friend to tell me. Exactly. Exactly. If the shoe was on the other foot. And then if it doesn't work out and they end up cheating on them,

you can be like, well, I did tell you. I did bring it up. Yeah, exactly. Ashley, what if it is happening to you but your best friend just hasn't told you? Don't plant that seed into... Oh, you don't have a best friend.

We'll be your best friend. When's your birthday, Ashley? September. September, all right. Well, we'll be there as your best friend. When's your birthday, Ashley? September. September, all right. Well, we'll be there as your best friends. Oh, we're in my 30th, so we're going to be funny. Oh, great. Yeah, we'll be there.

Hayley wants any excuse for a boozy. Hayley will be there. 30th. Hayley will be flirting with your partner. And I will flirt with your partner. Ashley, thanks for your call. Ask the messages in. Look at all these people.

Secretly record him flirting with you and then give your friend the video. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's bad. That's bad. Don't do that. We'll get to more of your responses next. We've got a message in. Somebody's being flirted with.

Yep. Someone's friend's boyfriend is flirting with them and they want us to chime in on some options of how to process. Do they tell the friend or do they stay quiet? What would you say? Someone's texting, crazy idea, why doesn't she, our messenger, hook up with him. Messenger.

Yeah, like get down. No, bring it up with him first. Be like, you're a bit flirty. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But then what do you think Sarah would think of this level of flirting, Travis? What are you doing, mate?

That's a little bit flirty, isn't it? Yeah, well, Fletch just heard this conundrum and he's like, it's time to open up the agony aunt file. Man, I almost swore. The agony aunt. I almost said the worst word possible. I tripped over my words. The agony aunt file.

Because you love this stuff, don't you? I love an agony aunt. What do I do? Help me out. Auntie Fletch. Yeah, Auntie Fletch. Here's what Auntie Fletchy will do. A lot of people are saying, actually,

tell the dude that it's making you a little bit uncomfortable and then he'll deal with it. And if he doesn't stop, then you can involve the friend. But it's not going to stop his behaviour. He's going to go flirt with someone else that you don't know. But also, like... Yeah, but it's no longer your problem. From a clueless guy's point of view, when you start dating a girl,

and this is going back some years, but you want to make a good impression with her friends and maybe he just doesn't read a room very well. I think this because I'm a very flirty person to lots of people. And I was like, I hope none of Aaron's friends thought that I was hitting on them. I just like to touch people and grab them and kiss

them on the lips. Flirting's like a spectrum, isn't it? It is. So if you had to, if you had to summarise, most people, You'd say that the biggest thing is saying, tell,

tell a friend. Tell a friend. Tell a friend. But maybe don't make it such a heavy, big statement drop. Just say like, I just think he's a little

bit flirty. Yeah. Keep an eye out for that. I think he could be a little bit flirty. There you go. Well, I hope we've helped.

From the aunties. Thank you, auntie. Kia ora, could be a little bit flirty. There you go. Well, I hope we've helped. From the aunties. Thank you, auntie. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do.

Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't know. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.