ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd May 2024

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchvaughan and Hayley. We're all here. Such a good Wednesday. You just made it.

You just made it in time. Who are these people with these early jobs? They're, what, clogging up the roads so you nearly didn't make it. Yeah. Tell you what, I've never hit the brakes so fast. There was a policeman on the side of the road. But I'm here. You're here.

Fantastic. And your Auckland show is tonight? It is open. Or opens tonight? There is one ticket available for tonight if you feel like coming on your own. I've... Jesus Christ. Boy, you can't...

You can't show us how to work. It's so horizontal. I was just telling these guys I was watching a show with an unexpected penis. You know when a show, like, unexpected boobie

is like, all right. But an unexpected penis, you're just like, oh my God. But not an unexpected hard penis. Unexpected, fully wrecked penis., oh my God. But not an unexpected hard penis. Unexpected fully wrecked penis. What show is this?

That's a 90 degree angle. Well, this is a thing I feel like I can't say because people will watch all six episodes and say like, oh, I watched six hours of program for, you know, five seconds of penis. But it's A Man in Full, the new Jeff Daniels show that's based on a 19- A Man in Full mast?

A Man in Full. Well, kind of, there's a whole lot of throughout. You're like, oh, that's why it's called A Man in Full, the new Jeff Daniels show that's based on a 19- A Man in Full mast? A Man in Full. Well, kind of. There's a whole lot of throughout. You're like, oh, that's why it's called A Man in Full. Oh, that's why it's called A Man in Full. Because this is a show you said you were watching, and I was like, no, I Googled the reviews. It's terrible.

It's not great. Yeah. Directed by Regina King, who's an actress and director, who was in The Wire. Yeah, I like her. She's awesome. And made for television by David E. Kelly. Oh, yeah.

He's done everything. Yeah, he's done a bunch of shows. Busiest man. And then, yeah, in the sixth episode, Unexpected Penis. Wow. Nice treat for you, isn't it? Yeah, lovely little treat. I watched it all at the gym because I've been trying to get back into it. But then I got home and I had 20 minutes to go.

So while I was having lunch, I chucked it on and Sade was watching. And she was just like this is quite an intense show and then Unexpected Penis and she's like, what is this show? What is this? Yeah, so you've been watching the whole time? Yeah, that's the only Unexpected Penis, but then we did a

couple's Google to find out whether it was real penis. Oh, like that show, what was the one and the guy in the shower and it turned around and everyone was like, oh, that was fake. The, like that show. What was the one? And the guy in the shower. And it wasn't. And it turned around and everyone was like, oh. It wasn't real. The actor said that you're just straight up not allowed to have a real erect penis on film. Oh, really?

Every erect penis is a, well, I mean, apart from porn. But like Hollywood made stuff with the unions and all the tick off and everything. Studios. It's a phallus. It's a phallus. It's a phallus. Okay. Well, it's kind of disappointing now, isn't it? Yeah, I know.

Now I'll just always know it's not the real deal. Your chance to win cash coming up at 8 o'clock this morning. Human Shazam returns. Listen now for the activator. The top six soon. Yep, the top six things. I wrote this last night and completely forgot. How do you not remember last night?

Because I write them the night before and then completely forget. I've got a lot of stuff going on. You've got this penis steering in the face. You didn't forget about that, did you? He got distracted. No, no. The Statistics New Zealand have said they're moving out of central Auckland. Yeah.

It's no longer a neighbourhood they want to be in. So I've got statistically the things you're likely to see in central Auckland should you venture in there from Statistics New Zealand. Oh, wow. Next on the show though, life expectancy is on the up. Is it?

So don't spend your KiwiSaver too soon when you retire. Don't be frivolent with it. I could spend mine in half an hour. Yep.

Very easily. Mine wouldn't even touch the sides. I said to Aaron how much it was the other day and I said, it'll be a nice holiday.

And then realised he'll be 73. That's a nice holiday. Looking forward to it. Cruise? That feels, it's got cruise energy. Yeah, big cruise energy at 73. I'm disappointed. Why, Vaughan? I'm disappointed because I was sure

that, you know, 10 years ago, scientists scientists before they became waylaid with vaccines and such Oh God, yeah. They said that the first person to live to 125

or something, some astronomical age, had already been born. Oh, okay, right. Because anybody that gets to that old, it's always a bit iffy-iffy. It's like, oh, yes, this Chinese lady who spent the first 50 years of her life in a village with absolutely no paperwork is 120. She's just a couple of years old.

She's not. I think she's rounded up significantly. Yeah. But this news, this is terrible. The researchers from the Global Burden of Disease Study. Jeep. And a whole lot. What a miserable.

Miserable. Imagine driving to work. It's like, you know, just after six, you're like off to the, what is it? GBDS. Global Burden of Disease Study. Oh, God. We just get to drive in and laugh out louder I mean I know the life

I'd choose Well they're saying babies born in 2050 so babies that are still a twinkle in your eye 26 years away Yeah can expect to live to

80 on average 80? New Zealand's life expectancy is already over 80 isn't it? So I just googled our New Zealand life expectancy, 82.21. That's not long enough for me.

You know how I feel. I don't want to die. Australia is just above us, 83.3. But the world. Who's got the highest life? Oh, yeah, world. I'm going to go. Life expectancy, 71.33.

Oh, that's terrible. There's a lot going on in France. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Highest average life. Would it be the Japanese? Oh, that's terrible. There's a lot going on in France. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Average life. Would it be the Japanese? They live quite long.

Yeah. They have a healthy diet, don't they? Monaco. Rice and vegetables. Monaco. That's a weird, super rich anomaly. Anomaly? Yeah, an anomaly.

An anomaly, I believe. Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea are the Asian countries in the top 10. European countries, Switzerland and Italy. Italy. Italy. It's the olive oil. It's the olive oil. It's the Prosecco for breakfast.

It's those, what do they call them? Blue zones. A lot of the blue zones, like Italy has a blue zone. What is a blue zone? Like, it's been all the rage. There's documentaries on it. There are places, they got nicknamed the blue zones because those are the places that,

I think it initially started because someone researching it highlighted those countries in blue. That's why they're called Blue Zones. But they are the countries with high life expectancy. Blue Zones Kitchen, 100 recipes to live to 100. And they're just places that, yeah, it's a lot of fresh

fruit, veg, nuts, seeds. Not a lot of processed food. No processed foods. And not only that, social aspects like nuts, seeds. Not a lot of processed food. No processed foods. And not only that, social aspects, like family, community, all those kind of things. Live together for longer and all that kind of stuff. Sartan and sumac roasted tofu.

I think I'd rather die early. You've Googled recipes. This is the Blue Zones book. This is the Blue Zones book. These are recipes that have made these countries the Blue Zones. Even when they talk about it now, a lot of the Blue Zones book. This is the Blue Zones book. These are recipes that have made these countries the Blue Zones. Even when they talk about it now, a lot of the Blue Zone countries are catching up with the rest of the world with processed foods and unhealthiness. Gotcha.

Oh. Gotcha. But yeah. I definitely want to make 100. Why? But I want to do nothing about my lifestyle to ensure that that happens. So I just sort of want it to be a luck thing. But then how good is it seeing on the news,

they're like, what's the secret to your old age? I know. And they're like, ciggies and lollies. Yeah. I love seeing that. I love seeing that. I love seeing that. I love seeing that.

I love seeing that. I love seeing that. Whenever my husband annoys me, they're like, oh my God, I love that. But they were born a hundred and whatever years ago when lollies were like boiled sweets. Yeah. And then like a ciggies,

I mean, there's no explaining that. I do ciggies, loollies and Prosecco for breakfast. Because that's what, in the little village where my parents live in Italy, all their old men, they stop off in the morning, have a little shot of espresso and a little Prosecco on the side. Off they go about their day. What? Yeah.

For breakfast? Including men of the trades. Wow. Before they tottle off to my mother's house. Okay. Yeah, no, why not? At least that's on par with a pie and a red bull, isn't it? Yeah, dude.

Probably. In fact, probably way less calories and less ultra-processed food. Yeah. Way to go. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Uber have announced in America, and so I'm sure if this will make it to New Zealand, but fingers crossed we can only hope, a feature that will make it cheaper to get to the airport

and concerts and special events. So what they have is this kind of vehicle and there are a bunch of seats in it and you can book one on that big vehicle and it will take you to the airport or the event. Feels like a bus slash shuttle. Yeah, it is. It's a shuttle.

It's a shuttle. Other people can also book. And other people that you don't know will be on there. They say it's on the way. They'll be stopping. But it's not. There's huge detours to pick up other people. Yeah.

Because there's UberPool. We've got UberPool, which I've never used yet. But it's not. There's huge detours to pick up other people. Yeah. Because there's UberPool. We've got UberPool which I've never used yet. But it's a lot cheaper. But it's so much cheaper. You can share a ride with someone who may be upon a similar journey to you. Yeah. Not too far out of the way but they'll pick them up.

How many people max do they take in UberPool? Well UberPool is just normal cars. So you'd probably be like two or three. If it's a stranger, you don't want to be going. Uber Shuttle will take up to 55 passengers per trip. What? That's a straight up a bus. A shuttle's a 12 seater.

A shuttle's 12. That's a bus. It's UberBus. But I mean, all right if it's a concert and you're going from one point. Like a pickup point? Yeah. It doesn't say whether, there'll be downtown pick up points

in these certain cities and when concerts are on, say there was a big, I don't know Taylor Swift concert or Harry Styles or whatever they'll be like, we're leaving from downtown, much like the buses do. To Mount Smart and you'd book a seat on that. Whereas in Auckland, if there's a concert, it's free with your ticket, isn't it?

Yeah, we're so lucky with that system. It's bloody good. But isn't it insane how I was thinking all these apps came along and they really changed and disrupted the way we've done things. Netflix came along, no ads. And you just get all these

shows and then all the other streaming services and now they've just become the norm. TV with ads. I know. That you pay for. Yeah, so like Uber is now just becoming the bus. The bus that you pay for and go on a bus with a whole bunch of people.

How cheap it would be? So they give an example of a Pittsburgh drop off from the central city to a stadium for $15 versus an Uber XL price of $44.99. See, we don't really have Uber XL, which here's my issue

because I've been doing my shows and traveling around with my big keyboard and all my stuff. I've been ordering Uber Comforts being like, hopefully it's a bigger car than like just a standard Prius.

And it's just a Prius. Oh my God. I've got to call it out. I think a lot of people are taking liberty by registering themselves on Uber Comfort. I've got in some crap cars that had maybe a little seat cover.

It'd be very unlike guys to add a couple of inches though and say it's bigger. Even leg room, penis length. You're lying here. This is not a comfort. What is Uber Comfort in addition to... Nicer and newer cars and sometimes- Bigger. Sometimes bigger.

Extra leg room. But I got one the other day and the seat didn't flip out. But we don't have XL here. No. Oh, right. But that's because in America, XL are those massive SUVs and stuff like that. Yeah, in addition to extra leg room on every trip, after requesting you'll be able to let your driver know your travel preferences,

including temperature and conversation. You can do that now on all of them. But I would say like, yeah, there's some like, because usually if you get an Uber Comfort, it's like quite a nice car. But recently I've gotten into them and they're like. A couple of Corolla Wands. You're grim. You're grim, yeah.

I hear you saying people are lying. Yeah, yeah. It was like me getting in my bloody Mazda Axler and being like, Comfort's got leather seats. And you're like, that is a dirtbag car play ZM's Fletchford and

Haley blah blah blah blah blah blah this is the top six stats NZ it's easier to say than

statistics New Zealand why is statistics statistics it's all the T's it's the S's and the T's and the switching between them

statistics tis tics and then the people that Why is statistics? It's all the T's. It's the S's and the T's and the switching between them. Statistics. Tis. Tics. And then the people that work there are statisticians. Statisticians. I didn't do stats at school. I thought it was going to be the easiest math. I was right.

Very wrong. I was wrong. Stats NZ will abandon its office space in Auckland Central at the end of this year. Staff don't feel safe leaving the premises or arriving at the premises On Grey's Ave, a 10 story building I'm not sure I know which building that is Yeah, I know exactly the one, it's next to the hotel

and over the road, no one mentions this in the news from the new development I don't know the new development Grey's Ave Central Auckland. So the bottom of it's the basement theatre and queue and all that. Up front. Where is it?

Up the road. Yeah, it's just next to the hotel, whatever that's called now. Oh, the one that used to be Nipple Pink, the rendezvous. Yes, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's my Nipple Pink? Mural. Well, that's the one our friend worked in, that building,

and they could always see naked people in the hotel and then email over and around. There's a plus. If we're looking for silver linings. So they don't feel safe there. They don't feel safe. Stats NZ have said their staff are allowed to work remotely until the end of the year if they feel intimidated by coming to work.

I do too though. So do I feel quite intimidated? I just feel intimidated by coming to work. I do too, though. So do I. I feel quite intimidated. I just feel intimidated by both of your good looks. Yeah, same. Stop it. I'll have to keep coming to work. I'm working from home. I'm working from home.

I'm working from home. My co-workers are too attractive. We're already working from home. Well, statistically, I've got some statistics of things you're likely to experience in downtown Auckland, according to Statistics GNZ. Okay. Number six on the list. You are 94% likely to be told to F off by a

truant teenager who's also vaping. Yes. Oh yeah. 94%. And teenager meaning like just 13 or 14. And maybe even not. I was walking in the city yesterday right behind some people and I'm guessing they were maybe backpackers or

I think maybe they were Irish. And then one of them it was quite busy, maybe I was right behind them, blew vape right in my face. Oh yeah. Like didn't even look behind before he blew his vape. No, no, no. They don't care. They don't think of it as an inconvenience. No, they don't think of it as smoke or give me chemicals.

Stuff that's chemical. What did it smell like? Pineapples. Actually it wasn't a nice one. it smell like? Pineapples. Pineapple mango. Actually, it wasn't a nice one. Oh, no. It was like menthol or something. Oh. Yeah.

If you're going to do it, do you know what I mean? Have a little treat. Yeah, grow down and give yourself a treat. Some cherry ripe. Number five on the list of the top six things

you're statistically likely I just got them into the vape. The Turkish Delight. A little Turkish Delight vape. Oh, now I'm vaping. Great. Are you googling Turkish Delight vape juice?

Yeah. Because you know it's on the market. Number five on the list of the top six things you're statistically likely to experience in downtown Auckland on a visit to downtown Auckland, you're 71% likely to see a grown man's penis as he tinkles in the public gardens.

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. I've seen someone's penis accidentally. I've seen someone's penis tinkling in a garden bed. Yeah. I must say, I must, I must say. Yes. I prefer a tinkle in a garden bed. Yeah. I must say, I must, I must say. Yes. I prefer a tinkle in a garden bed to the wall

of a building. Yeah, I saw a human poo in a shop way on Sunday morning last weekend. Great. What time? Actually, it was

the weekend before. I don't know, it was like 11. Oh, okay. Yeah. Late in the day. Shop not opening or just chosen to stand over the poo? Yeah. That's disappointing. I was like, that's a human poo right there. Yeah. Late in the day. Shop not opening or just chosen to stand over the poo? Someday shop not open.

Yeah. That's disappointing. I was like, that's a human poo right there. Great. It is, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Number four on the list of the top six things you're statistically likely to experience in downtown Auckland. Are you 69% nice?

Nice. Nice. Likely to nearly be run over by a fletch on a lime scooter as he disregards any rules he deems not fit for himself. Only because Hayley's on the back and we're in a rush. You're out of control. Out of control. You absolutely... Yeah.

You've got to have faith. He's got good skill. Three from three so far for me. Yeah. Of the things I've experienced in the city. Okay, here you go. Number three on the list of the top six things you're statistically likely to experience in downtown Auckland.

You're 100% likely to smell something you can't quite put your finger on, but it seems to be a mix of the three Ds. Death, defecation and durries. Yeah. Yeah, not wrong. Those are the three Ds of downtown Auckland. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things you're likely to experience in downtown

Auckland according to Statistics NZ. You're 83% likely to walk 50 metres from Queen Street and feel like you've gone through some sort of portal because you're pretty sure you saw a Prada store that sells very expensive handbags and there's a security

guard and there's a small line outside. 50 metres later you're outside a store that sells anonymous meat noodle dishes for $7.90 and you see the same people at both. Yes. Also at the noodle dish place, you can also buy a ponamu as well. Yeah. Queen Street really, yeah.

It's got a bit of everything. Really mixes up their noodles and ponamu. It's got a bit of everything. And number one on the list are the top six things you're likely to experience in downtown Auckland if you accidentally end up there. You are 97% likely if you accidentally go near Queen Street in a car to grow old and die before you get out of that train. Oh, my God.

Yeah. I've learnt now, but it took me quite a few years to be like, oh, I just need to get, I'll just pop up Queen. No, never. I don't think you can pop up God. Yeah. I've learnt now, but it took me quite a few years to be like, oh, I just need to get, I'll just pop up Queen. No, never. I don't think you can pop up Queen. Never. Or even go near Queen or adjacent to Queen in a car. You don't touch it.

You don't. You don't touch it. It seems like the green lights are for the pedestrians and you're a real inconvenience. Yeah. You become a bollard. Yes. A car bollard.

You abandon your car as some sort of art installation. Yes. On Queen Street. That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Okay, so we talked about Squid Game. When's it coming out?

Li Zhongzhai, who's the main character of Squid Game. Yes. He was on the red carpet for another show that he's part of, The Acolyte from Disney. Star Wars. She brought it up. Now I'm allowed to talk about it. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's Star Wars. It's the new Star Wars show and it comes out soon and it's set like 200 years before all the Star Wars that we're familiar with from the movies and the TV shows so far. Thank you for that, Vaughn.

The Acolyte. He's in it. I believe he's a Jedi character. Right. Well, he has dropped on the red carpet that we have to wait till December. Really? Like how long is that from the release of the original Squid Game?

Well, so I feel like one would have been enough. It's perfect. I know what you mean. Is he going back or is he going to be a manager or is he going back with all of his money to bet on the Squid Game or go in with the money saying he's betting on the Squid Game

but trying to shut it down or expose it? Or is it Squid Game All Stars? Fans versus favourites. He wants that whole mystery. It's on an island. Where is it? Who's controlling it? It's a very well kept secret. So there you go. December on an island. Like, you know, where is it? Who's controlling it? It's a very well-kept secret. So there you go.

December for Squid Game. But if you cannot wait. You think they might ruin it? I mean, yeah, they could do. Some shot, yeah. It is literally one of the most perfect shows I've ever watched. And so I know what you mean. You're like, don't stuff it up.

Are you better to walk away? Anyway, so if you cannot wait, there is a new show that has just dropped on Netflix and you can get it in New Zealand as well. It's called The 8 Show. It's another South Korean amazing drama, but it has a comedic element apparently. So kind of like a dark comedy.

Very dark comedy. So it's called The 8 Show. It tells the story of eight people who are desperate for money. So it's another competition. And they've been invited to take part in a shady reality TV show. They soon find themselves trapped in an eight-story building in Seoul. And the longer they stay, the more money they can earn. However, other than food and water,

all other resources cost a thousand times more than normal prices. So then they all start to turn on each other as to like what they're going to spend their money on to survive. The longer they stay, the more money they get. There's a ticking clock and all this. However, they are fighting,

but they have to fight in an interesting way because if one of them dies everyone loses right so they have to keep the half score alive so this is scripted scripted not

I mean obviously you don't want people to die on everybody yeah yeah yeah so it's scripted so it's like all around the premise that time is money

and the clock is like ticking day by day and they've got to keep on staying they've got to get to the end and if they make it then they get the money. They all get the money. And he's in this as well?

No, no, no. He's not in this. I was going to say he seems to really have been typecast now as South Korean guy and South Korean drama reality show. Yeah, no. No. Different actors. Apparently it is amazing. Everyone was saying, I'm only relating it to Squid Game because it's another South Korean amazing show

And people were saying it's very similar Because there's like an unseen audience Like that watch And you remember that was part of Squid Game Those rich white people in animal masks Yeah it was animal masks It had a sexual It was very weird

It was some sexual stuff That was sort of the worst part of the show Let's admit it Yeah it was animal masks. It had a sexual... It was very weird. It was some sexual stuff. That was sort of the worst part of the show, let's admit it. Yeah, it was a bit weird. Yeah. So apparently everyone's saying like it is written even like more intelligently than Squid Game. Incredible writing. A masterpiece. Like I've watched all the episodes in one day.

Best series ever. Watched it in one day. Can't stop watching. And so it's out now. Screaming at their TV worth a watch. It's literally just dropped on Netflix. So you can watch The 8 Show, eight episodes, described as an offbeat, dark comedy.

Give it a go. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley, silly frying an egg, when do you crack it into the pan? This happened at my house last night. Nasi Garing on the menu. Oh, yeah, with a fried egg on pan? This happened at my house last night. Nazigering on the menu. Oh, yeah, with a fried egg on top?

Yeah, hello. Some spicy rice? It was like calorie-restricted Nazigering, so it wasn't like dirty $12 for a huge tray Nazigering. Oh, yum. Because that shit slaps hard. Covered in oil, yum. Yeah, yum. Chili oil. But then an egg goes on top. And I said, because I was taking Indy, our. No, no, no, no, no. Chili oil. But then an egg goes on top.

Yeah. And I said, because I was taking Indy, our oldest daughter, to hockey. Shada said, I'll take care of dinner. So then she's like, do you want it now? And I said, yes. And she's like, I'll fry you an egg. I said, I can fry an egg. And so we both happened to be standing at the oven when she pulls out the pan.

Immediately turns on the oven and immediately cracks an egg into the pan. And I, a bit of oil. For a fried egg? Yeah. But olive oil as well, which I've said a hundred times, it's got a low smoke point. It's not meant to be. I olive oil quite a bit. You can use it.

Yeah, you're all right. It's healthy. You're all dickheads. You're all dickheads. And go ultra processed. It's got a high smoke point. It doesn't affect the flavour. She put the oil on the coal pan.

Yeah. Straight away puts the egg in. Didn't wait. And I was like, what are you doing? Even if it's induction, it still takes a little bit. It takes a little bit to get that oil heated. Especially for an Asian style fried egg. You've got to have it hot.

And then you put it in and it goes. Crackles. Yeah. What kind of Asian is she's always done this. And I said, what kind of Asian is she? She's a bad Asian. And I said it,

I said, naughty Asian. Naughty, naughty, you're being a bad Asian. Her ancestors shall haunt her for this. I know,

I felt her mama behind me going, oh yeah, oh yeah. And she's like, oh, that's what I've always done. I was like,

it's not the way to do it. And she's like, it's that's what I've always done. I was like, it's not the way to do it. And she's like, it's absolutely. I said, we shall put it to the people. The best way we know how, silly little poll. So I sent it through to the group chat. Shannon's like, brilliant. Just about to put up silly little poll. It happened.

So I was eating my dinner watching a live update of people voting on this. It's delicious, and I shouldn't sound ungrateful. Yeah. It's delicious and I shouldn't sound ungrateful But 3% of people put the egg in the pan before the pan's hot That is wild How embarrassing Especially because the egg, if you've got a traditional stovetop, not induction It would take a very long time to heat up The egg would run and so you wouldn't even get a very nice shape

Maybe every now and then if I'm doing a soft, slow scramble It would run, and so you wouldn't even get a very nice shape. Yeah. Maybe every now and then if I'm doing a soft, slow scramble, but I won't go in raw. I won't go in cold. I'll go in as it's heated. If you're doing a scramble, you've got to get butter in there and get it melted. And get it melted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Always give me some stickiness. Oh, God. 97%, if you've done the maths, 97% said wait until it's hot. Do we have an actual number of... Yes. 4,604 votes for wait until it's hot. 121 votes for before you turn on. We run a good poll. We run a

way better poll because people publish polls and they'll be like, we've had 400 people. Yeah. 500 respondees. It's a great sample size. We run a good poll. So your wife and 120 other people. My wife.

My wife. And 121 other people. This is nuts. Yeah. CN says, what kind of crazy person puts it in a cold pan? It's never even crossed my mind to consider this. Psychopath. Stephanie says, it's not right to cook eggs in a cold pan. It's never even crossed my mind to consider this. Psychopath. Stephanie says,

it's not right to cook eggs in a cold pan. That's crackhead. Oh, well, I will, but I'm actually just asking to watch your language there. That's crackhead behaviour. And Lisa says,

Gordon Ramsay scrambled eggs in cold eggs in a pot, but always hot pan. What are you talking about? So Gordon Ramsay does it in like a pot and he puts the butter in and then you go in with the eggs

and you like custard them. Oh, because he cubes the butter, eh? Yeah. And then you add cream fresh. Don't you go on and off the heat as you add the cream fresh? A lot of work. Alicia says, before, you want rubbery whites by the time the heat gets to the yolk? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is madness. Ash said, I need to hear the reasoning why people would crack an egg into a cold pan. I don't believe I've got any reasoning apart from that would crack an egg into a cold pan. I don't believe I've got any reasoning apart from that's just how I've always done it. And Anya says, I'm lazy.

I can't see what she voted for. Do you think she cracks into a cold pan? I reckon she goes in cold and is just like, oh, just get that going. You've got to wait. She's lazy though.

I'm upset by this. In a deeper way than I imagined I would be Taylor's in a hot pan You get a crispy base Yeah That's the thing This wasn't a crispy fried egg

What's the point? I know Well you should It was more like Sunny side up A poached Yuck It had a poached vibe

But with an open top Is that making it Is that maybe these people Do they feel like it's healthier No Because it's not fried? Because it hasn't gone crispy. You've still got the oil in there.

They're like, oh my God, healthy fried egg. Yum, yum, healthy fried egg. No, it's not that. It wasn't that. Now I want a fried egg.

I want a fried egg. I want a bubbly fried egg with chilli oil all over it. Yes. Scramble. Good stuff. Are we doing eggs today? Because now I've got to hanker it for an egg.

Eggs must be done. It could be eggs. I'm going to specify with the chef, however. Get that pan hot. Many ways you could choose to name a baby. You could just name it your name. Some people do that. Some people do that. Some people do that.

Like, imagine if you had a boy and it was Vaughan Jr. VJ. It goes well. VJ goes well. That's cute. VJ Smith. VJ.

Yeah, Vaughan Jr. Oh, VJJ though. Problematic. People in New Zealand don't really do that, eh? It's an American thing, eh? We've got a family name, Matthew. So my cousin's Matthew,

his dad's Matthew, my pop was Matthew, his dad's Matthew, my pop was Matthew, his dad was Matthew, you know, that kind of thing. But they don't say the junior thing. No, not a junior. No, or the third. Yeah. We don't do that.

Let's just say, I've also gone, here's another way, thebump.com. There's a random baby name generator. So we'll just go unisex name. Yep. Starting with any letter, any origin, any style, any meaning with all syllables. Generate names. John.

Here we go. Let's say we're having a baby together, Vaughan. Wild night. Wild. Jesus, Vic, we got carried away. That's the one night you were allowed in the spa pool. And now I know why I wasn't invited. Our baby's name is Noah Smith.

Noah. Very popular. Big Christian energy, Noah, because, of course, Noah Smith. Noah. Very popular. Big Christian energy now because, of course, the ark. But very popular name. Yeah. I'd say the last couple of decade and a half. 20 years, Noah's been very popular. Just generating another one.

This is said to be unisex. Fletch that same night. It got double knocked up. Our baby is called Evelyn Fletcher Evelyn, Evie For a boy, Evelyn, the boy Evelyn for a boy Sorry to all of our male Evelyn listeners

And good morning to our Evelyn listeners Regardless of gender Yeah Well, there's a new way That has been shared on TikTok and I kind of get it but it feels a little bleak.

So, there is a woman that shared that she took her whole family on a trip to find some cute, old-fashioned, classic baby names at the cemetery.

Like, one of those old-school cemeteries that still has all the old, like, concrete. Like here lies Gertrude McLaren. Beatrice McLaren.

Born 1805 and all that kind of stuff. Okay. I know so going through the cemetery and being like, oh my God, a beautiful classical name that you probably wouldn't see pop up on these modern sites. You can Google classic old names. It feels a bit bleak. It's a bit bleak. Because what are you going to do? You're going to land on a name and go,

I like that. We'll just take that. And then when your kids eight or nine, they'll be like, how'd you come up with my name? Yeah, I know. We went for a walk in a graveyard. Yeah. Because do you know why your parents chose your names? Because mine was just like, that's what you called every baby born in the late 80s. I think the nurse said to my parents, he looks like a Vaughn.

Really? I think that was the story. My dad is like a people pleaser and a wild flirt. Oh, yeah, there was a nurse hot. Vaughn it is. Vaughn it is. It was an E in 10. Might have been an E in 10.

Could have been. Might have been an Ian 10. And then yeah, that's how I got my name. And Alan, my middle name is my grandad's name. Yeah. Yeah. I only got Jane because my mum wanted it to be Rose, but then the baby born next to me was Hayley Rose

and mum was like, oh my god, the woman's going to think I'm copying. But then she'd never see her again. I know. How much cooler is Hayley Rose? then she'd never see her again. I know. How much cooler is Hayley Rose? Hayley Rose Sproul. Yeah, I know. Hayley Jane. And Rose was like a significant family name as well. Right.

Yeah. So she just ditched that. Wait, so out there, there is a Hayley Rose. On October 8th, 89 in New Zealand. Wow. In Rangi Ora. I know. Where are you?

Hayley Rose. And why did you steal my cool name? She should have changed. I just would have done it. Like you never would have seen this family or baby again. Who cares? Why would you even talk to the woman and say, I'm calling my kid Hayley Rose?

Anyway, so if you've got a baby. And Carl, your parents were massive communists. Yeah. Named after Karl Marx. Yeah, that's right. Yes. Inspired by. I think so. massive communists. Yeah. Named after Karl Marx. Yeah, that's right. Yes. Inspired by. I think so.

Inspired by. Yeah. Was there any story behind it? No. It was just a nice name at the time. Just, yeah. What about Peter? Again, I don't know.

Oh, is that not a family name? I don't know. Because usually middle names hold a bit of significance. Yeah, yeah. That's the... No. Well, my dad doesn't even have a middle name. Doesn't he?

No. Oh, my God. I couldn't afford one. Poor boy. We should give him one. It's like, yeah, they pay per Yeah, yeah. No. Well, my dad doesn't even have a middle name. Doesn't he? Nah. Oh my God. I couldn't afford one. Poor boy, we should give him one. It's like, yeah, they pay per letter, right?

Yeah. That's why his name's John with no H. Yeah, it's not short for Jonathan. They wanted to go Joe, but yeah. Yeah, just call him Joe.

They had a couple of extra bucks. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Well, I mean, it's absolutely nobody's dream But you're always miffed When someone gets asked And it's not you To go back and speak

At your old high school Why would you want to do that? I've done it I feel like I want to be asked But if I was asked I'd be like I can't make it Yes

If they go and be invited to a party I don't want to go to the party I want to be invited Yeah To know that I'm loved Thought of And oft missed Yes But I don't want to go to the party. I want to be invited. Yeah. To know that I'm loved, thought of, and optimist. Yes. But I don't want to go.

But going back to the school to talk about her career in radio. To rouse and inspire. Now, this is booked in for, by my calculations, the 7th of June, because it's a day after a big event, which just before the show, Carmen was scoffing at her for booking anything after that. Because we know she's going to be a write-off the next day. No, I've got great self-control, thank you.

Maybe when you were looking for your cell phone and it was in your hand. No, I don't. No, I don't remember that. How did you sustain that ankle injury? I don't know. Exactly. So you have been asked to go back to your old school,

which is what's it called? East Auckland High or something? Hallett College. Even worse. And you've been asked to go back there to talk about radio. Yeah. They want to rouse the youths, I guess. Wow.

Inspire them. An hour chat. An hour? An hour. To an assembly or just to a media station? Yeah, I believe so. The youth are tangled up. Yeah.

An hour chat? No. Apparently most of it's Q&A. Oh, God. Hayley, you've just done an hour of stand-up. Yeah. How'd that go? Yeah, you're good.

But it's quite, it's a long time. And the thing is, people chose to be there, didn't they? Yeah, they did. Whereas students have been forced. Yeah, there's going to be a tutor from broadcasting school where I studied. So I think they're going to kind of do the like serious stuff and then I'll stand there and be like, yeah, we get free chips sometimes. Yeah, yeah.

I think I'm going to order some nuggets. Yeah. Just an offensive amount of chips will turn up in multiple boxes and everyone gorges themselves on chips and then everyone's like I've eaten too much chips. Well, why don't I have some more chips? I won't do that again

and then the next day chocolate biscuits arrive and we do it all over. I really think that'll inspire them, hey? 100%. Pretty sweet perks. What are you going to say to them? I don't know. Follow your dreams. That's a good one.

Yeah. Never let anyone tell you you can't do anything. Unless 100% of the shots you don't take. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I'm trying to think, because I did a speech at the Leavers' Dinner, which you had this little dinner where you go to in seventh form.

Wait, as a seventh form you did a speech? This is where I was gifted the pearl bracelet when I was in seventh form leaving. Private schools, eh? You were in seventh form when you did the speech at the leaders' dinner. No, no, no, no, no. I was then invited back years later. How long after?

What had you done? What did you achieve? This is what I mean. I definitely was like, God, you should have invited me now. I'm far more successful than when I went and talked then. I think it was because I'd done lots of shows and been to Edinburgh

and I'd really followed my dream as a theatre artist. I bet the private school parents love an art person coming back, probably earning, what, $12,000 a year on the artist's benefit to tell their kids about what a great time they've been having. I reckon my fourth year out of drama school, no, maybe my third year, I'd earned $8,000

for the year. That wouldn't have even covered tax? No, half a year. No, I paid no tax on it. How much was tutelage? How much was your private school a year? I'm guessing $8,000 wouldn't have put on. Private school? Yeah. Like 5k a term? Yeah, 20 a year. And you earned $8,000 wouldn't have put up. Private school? Yeah. Ah, like 5K a term?

Yeah. So 20 a year. So 20 a year and you earn $8,000 four years after you left. But I was in there being like, you've got to carve your own path, you know, really follow your dreams. Like if you have a dream, just like do anything you can. And then I'm like. And your parents are leaning into their kids' ears being like,

don't listen to the hippie. Don't effing do it. You do it, you become an accountant, you'll never be happy, and you earn money, and that's the way we do it around here. That hippie is on 8,000 a year. Do you want to eat? We didn't scrimp.

We didn't scrimp and save and run from our mother country to come here to work hard to put you through private school for you to be an artist, all right? You do something that makes you money and no happiness. No happiness. I talked a lot of shite. You just got to make him feel inspired.

You know what I mean? A few jokes. Do you want to get some jokes in there? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't really know why it's me. I represented the school on a community station. So I think it was kind of like she did it then and now she gets

paid to do it. She's doing the real deal. Are you going to say anything bad about us? Like what it's like to work with us? In the Q&A, do you reckon I'll get asked what it's like working with them? High school kids don't listen to the radio. They're going to have no idea who we are. Yeah, they will. They'll be like, you guys on TikTok.

Oh, we are. Are you the loud people from TikTok? You're the old yelly people on TikTok. Girl, Matt, you know the one. Ah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. When you think about finding friends,

you think about wanting to have kind, loving people around you, and that's all very well and good. But there is an argument brewing online in support of finding yourself a mean friend. Someone who is a straight shooting, hard talking, take no BS person, up front, will do the dirty work, will be raw and honest with you. Is this to keep you grounded?

Not so much. I don't want that. Although I know that, I know Vaughn likes a little neg every now and then. He thrives on it. Is this like a friend group roasting? No. It's different than that? It's more the mean friend

that in any situation is gonna take charge and then just sort shit out. Like, say you're at a restaurant and your food arrives and the chicken is cold and it's yucky, right?

You just eat it. Maybe you're the person who's just like, oh God, it's awful. I'll just send it back. No, no, no, I don't want to do that. I don't want to cause a fuss. I don't care. I've waited so long. Your mean friend is the one who's like, no way. Excuse me. Hi, excuse me. This food's not cooked. This is cold.

I'm sorry, man. My mum was this person growing up. I think it's mums do it. Yeah. So the moment anyone is anything but accommodating or, you know, serving you, you need the mean friend who's just going to like cut to the chase, who is like not afraid to like talk to the manager or like sort something out.

Great person to travel with. Yeah. Right? Like the person who is just does not care what anyone thinks will be mean and upfront. And I was like, I totally get this. Especially if they're saying like, if you're like a bit of a people-pleasing,

delightful sweetie. Yep. Like myself. You need someone that's going to say, but you'll say stuff. Yeah, I sort of sit somewhere in the middle, I think. Yeah. But anyway, we teased this on our show

and our friend Matt was like in the gaggle. He's saying, you're welcome. You're all welcome. Because he's the one who just like won't take any BS. Yeah, he'll say something. Or speak up and be mean. But do you mean like you need this person so if your food's cold

or if you're travelling and something goes wrong. But what about like for life advice or what you're wearing. Totally. Do you want that? You do need a friend to tell you to snap out of it. Yeah, totally. It's not mean. Mean is not quite the right word. That's what people are saying.

Someone commented on this video saying, ma'am, we are not mean. We simply have clear boundaries and we don't mind enforcing them. Oh, yeah, I like that. That's a good way of putting it. Clear boundaries. Because I think that's the thing of being like,

oh, you know, this boy's treating me like this. I don't know, but he's really nice. Be like, nah. Pandering. Pandering. Not pandering. They don't pander to your bullshit. They will tell you straight. There's a snap out of it. You're being ridiculous. Yeah, totally. I was like, this is great. You do need these people

in your life. Yeah, someone commented, this is me. I will be that mean friend for you. I will uphold the boundaries come hell or high water. Mess with my bestie you mess with me. And it is not a pretty picture. I love this. That person doesn't sound much fun to be around. They sound a bit too far.

This is what they need. The quality they need. Zero problem with confrontation. See I can be like a straight shooter but I hate confrontation and I will avoid it at all costs. Don't initiate it. No. But don't like let it happen. Yeah.

Aaron is kind of this for me like because I hate confrontation so much. I'll just be like oh no I don't want to upset people. I don't want to do that. And he doesn't like being the mean friend but because I'm so adverse to what he has to be. Like with tradies right you'd be like okay well they've stuffed that up and I'll be like, oh, hey,

just noticed that you've actually put a crack in my brand new window and I hate to bring up that that might be a little bit of an issue. He's the one who has to put on the big boy pants and be like, hey, that's not good enough. Yeah, you've broken the window. You need that. You do need that.

This is great. Who would it be out of us? Fletch. Yeah, Fletch. It wasn't even a question. It's definitely Fletch. Thanks for pretending to wait to say me. We waited.

We pretended to think. I already established that you were. I'm two people, please. I just want everyone to just be happy and joyful and love me. Vaughn doesn't care enough, probably. Couldn't give him too, whatever. Just let it go. Just roll with it.

Whereas you'll be like, no, I paid for this. This is not right. This is an injustice. Sometimes it just depends what it is. Totally. Sometimes I'll just roll with it. I'm like, oh, it is what it is. Yeah.

You're welcome. No, I appreciate it. Because I don't want roll with it. I'm like, oh, it is what it is. Yeah. Hmm. Wow. You're welcome. Oh, no, I appreciate it because I don't want to do it. I don't want to be the mean friend. Next, we want to talk about a TikToker who has revealed what could be one of the coolest jobs ever. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, a woman has revealed her job on TikTok.

Oh, yes. Now a woman has revealed her job on TikTok Oh yes Now I When I was in retail This didn't exist because I only worked in like a small Store So it was never like Tested But her job is to be a mystery shopper

And that's when like you go in And you're paid to Pretend to shop and you're paid to pretend to shop and you're, like, looking for things, right? You're, like, testing the service there. Or some people are mystery shoppers to try to catch people stealing things. Yes. And they usually do them in, like, bigger stores, right?

But when you worked at the service station, it wasn't their mystery shoppers? Yep, yep. But that was a big service station and they hired the people. Yeah, but that's why they always ask you if you want the chocolate bar special or whatever. Yeah, the upselling, that was one of the things. Are you smiling?

Yeah. I know, are you smiling? You hire these people, right? To get like a little gauge on it. Yeah, well, there's this woman, Charlie, and she shares her experience of what it's like, breaking it down into tasks like, my first task was to

order a drink at this place. She's at a bowling alley. I was like, what a bizarre thing. Order a drink, like, was it a good drink? Did you get nice service? Was the service fast? Da-da-da-da-da. Third task was to enjoy a game of bowling. See, like, what a great job. How amazing. you're basically going out and

eating and drinking and bowling or shopping yeah and a lot of the time like do you get to keep the stuff is that like your payment yeah sometimes i'd really struggle to take the experience of bowling off you again i've seen it yeah let them try joy yeah so joy yeah like sometimes I think if it's like a big like retail like a department store or something

yeah they'll say like okay you've got a budget of yeah right hundred bucks whatever you buy with it it's fine it's yours to keep like I like how exciting

that is and it's something different but I also hate the fact that you're like testing another human being yeah you know like I know it does feel it's sneaky like were. You know, like... I know, I know.

It does feel sneaky. It's sneaky. Like, were they smiling? It's like, well, I don't know. Are you paying me enough to smile? Yeah, yeah. Like, what do you want from me? That's what I...

When I was told I need to smile more, I said, what have I got to smile about? Because I'm getting paid $4.80 an hour to be here at six o'clock on a Sunday morning. Was this the 1950s? $4 something an hour? No, it was illegal is what it was. Shut out.

So this one, like she shares a lot of different experiences, but this like bowling night, she was given a drinks budget, then was given a budget to cover a game of bowling, then was given a budget for food and beverage, like food, like she got a burger and some chips, and an additional eight pounds,

so about like 16 bucks for the feedback session, which took 10 minutes. And then she was just given a night out. What a dream. That'd be all right, Ashley. How do you Google? Whose drinks budget are we budgeting for though? Hayley would need a bit more. You'd need right, Ashley. How do you do your Google? Whose drinks budget are we budgeting for, though? Hayley would

need a bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I'll just skim it off the food one. They want you to remember your experience. Become a mystery, hang on, become a mystery shopper NZ. I know people have done it in New Zealand. I know that it's a thing. Yeah. Well, should

we get some little calls and messages from these people? Because I'm looking. Are you allowed to talk about it though? Or is it like being a spy? Like you've got to sign a thing? It's not like being a spy. I think they're allowed to talk about it. Are you sure? Well, they can call anonymously if they want to. Because, you know, national security is at stake, Vaughan.

China's listening. Is that what we're worried about? China really wants to know if you offered to upsell as you were leaving the service station. Guys, I hereby submit my resignation from ZM. It's been really fun, but I am now on mysteryshop.nz where you can apply to be a mystery shopper 18 years and over, anonymous shopper who evaluates businesses

and then shares their experience in order to improve customer service. Okay, give us a call. 0800 DALES. Have you been a mystery shopper before? And what did you mystery shop? Yeah, what did you do? And did you get to keep the things? And did you have a bad experience?

And were you honest about it? Did you feel bad about like narking on people? Because you're basically a nark. Some of the tasks. You're a nark. You're a paid nark. You're a paid nark. You're a CI.

You're a criminal informant. We will say snitches get stitches but we want to know if you've been a mystery shopper and what was involved. Give us a call. 0800 dials. You can text through 9696. What did you do?

What the hell just happened? I missed the button. Did you miss the button? That would have sounded really good. Can we just leave a nice pause? Give us a call. 0800 dials.ALDZDM. You can text us as well, 9696. Have you been a mystery shopper? Wow, so many mystery shoppers.

I know. I'm listening to the show right now. They're everywhere, these narcs. You secret little narcs. And they've fallen for our ruse. We've exposed you all. We have. I love this. Not so mysterious anymore.

Look at all these people. I love this. So you were an anonymous Look at all these people. I love this. Sue, you were an anonymous shopper for who? Good morning, Narc. Oh, is that me? Yes. It's Snoo, darling. S-N-U.

Good morning. Wait, you're Snoo. I love Snoo. I can, look, usually we'll absolutely, I will say physically assault the producers if they get someone's name wrong. We can slap across the face. Or I must say Snoo.

Perfect, I'm down for it. I would have thought you meant Sue as well. What's Snoo short for? Snoozy. It is short for Susan. I was a special needs teacher for a long time, so it's short for special needs unit. Oh.

Yeah, anyway. Snoo from the Snoo. Snoo from Snoo. Thank you. Oh. So, anyway. So, from the snow. That's very cute. Thank you for joining the show, Sue. So, what were you a mystery shopper doing?

Um, I was a mystery shopper for Toyota. Um, so, I know, super bougie, right?

So, I had to take my car that was a minivan full of children through to get a service like the full kit and caboodle for like $350. What they didn't tell me though, or what I didn't read in the email maybe, was that I

had to pay for it and then they would reimburse me. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll give you a budget of this, but they didn't pay me for two months. Oh, yeah. It's hard. It's like when we get reimbursed through work. It's hard. It takes ages.

Two to three years. So eventually, you got a full car service, and you just had to kind of report back and say, they were lovely. It was good. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. They didn't clean the roof of my car even though they said they cleaned my car but they missed that bit yeah that's that was pretty much

it she's a nice she's a nice there's some come to paying and they're like oh that's 350 you're like i'm a secret shopper i think you'll find this is covered i think it's i wish I was that smooth. Wow. I wish. Snoo, amazing. Thank you for sharing. Olivia, you were a mystery shopper for who? I don't know if I can say the name, but a supermarket.

Oh. There's hundreds of those. We'll simply never guess which one. Yeah. It's not a duopoly or anything. Certainly not a dangerous duopoly. So what was involved? So I used to do it for the alcohol and also the produce section.

Delicious. I love produce and alcohol. Oh, yeah, because asparagus is R18, eh? Yeah. Definitely, definitely. And so what would they, like, quiz you on? Well, the produce ones was always a deep giveaway that you're a mystery shopper because you had to go find someone in the shop and ask them,

oh, tell them you're making a fruit salad and ask what the crispiest apple was. And whenever you ask that, you could always read the mood shift. Yeah, you could see the penny drop and they're like, oh, it's a mystery shopper. Yeah, they're like, oh, okay, no, I need to get my game on. Hello. Yeah, you could always see it shift. I'm making a salad. What would I put in the salad?

What is the crispiest lettuce for a beautiful, fresh summer salad? They could go a bit more left field with an apple, but I've got to work, mate, and every time I eat at the desk, I think they're going to leave.

No, I want them to leave, so I need the noisiest apple. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's better, Mr. Shopper. Yeah, it is. And what did they pay you? Or did you just get the produce

and the wine? Well, when you then had to buy the produce, but the alcohol, there were two different ones. There was ones where you were allowed to buy the alcohol and you'd get reimbursed for it, and you just had to make sure that you actually check your ID. Right. And then there was one where you would forget your ID

and try buying alcohol. Yeah, because they've got to be careful, otherwise they lose their license, don't they? Embarrassing if you've got a raggedy old face, though. They just don't ask. Olivia, thank you. Anonymous, you were a mystery shopper for alcohol stores as well. Yes, I was very similar to the last one. So I would go around alcohol stores and supermarkets doing the same audit.

But what was really awkward for the alcohol stores is supermarkets doing the same audit. But what was really awkward for the alcohol stores is that you had to take photos of the place and outside the place. About the conditions of what it was looking like. So you kind of go and

try and get their attention because they're meant to kind of serve you and ask you, do you want anything? And then leave. Take photos. And always forget to get the receipt. Oh, yeah. Which you needed to be reimbursed.

Oh, no. Okay, you're a hot mess. And then you're sitting out going, oh, no, I just stuffed that one up. No, I just have a bottle of wine. No money for me. No, no, you've just got wine. You're doing mystery shopping all wrong there, I think. You have.

I think so. And then you go to the, oh, oh gosh, the supermarket. It's right there, the supermarket. And they, so often you have, because they had to have like lanyards on if they could serve you alcohol. Oh, right. So if they could, if they could, you could buy alcohol from them

or I said to call a supervisor over. Oh, right. And the supervisors are like, run off their feet. Yeah. So they come over and they'd be like, yes, fine. I'd be like, yeah, no. No, ma'am. You're a narc.

You're a narc. You're a narc. She's a narc. You're doing with me. Anonymous is a narc. Anonymous is a narc. Thank you for your call, Anonymous. So many messages and calls coming through.

We'll get to more of these next. I want to be a designer clothing one. You know what I mean? Where you get to keep the Karen Walkers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're talking about mystery shoppers. It seems there's mean? Where you get to keep the Karen Walkers. Oh yeah. We're talking about mystery shoppers. It seems there's a lot of you out there. This message, I had to stop

being a mystery shopper because I kept buying what I was actually just sent in to test. Yes. I was supposed to just ask a bunch of questions about it, make sure they were knowledgeable about the product and leave. It came to an end when I bought a bed from a large chain store because I felt so bad for lying to them

and then I returned the bed when I knew the person who sold me the bed wasn't rostered on oh god okay you're too much of a people pleaser to be doing that Joel I used to have to cold call for unis and tertiary providers to check if they said all the things they had to when I was making inquiries

oh yeah about studying there I worked at, I was making inquiries. Oh, yeah. About studying there. I worked at, I was a mystery shopper for Sky City. And my job was to go to every entrance with no ID to try to get in and see if the security guards would ID me. Oh, for the Cassie. Yeah. I was a mystery shopper for a big food company.

It was badass. I was in my early 20s. I got a car, paid accommodation, cash to spend, went all over the North Island, saw some cool parts of the country as I'd never been to. Always felt like a dick

though, buying random ass products and then standing there with a judgy face. Fun job though. Yeah. So they were just doing all of the North Island.

Wow, you're a travelling narc. I would love it, travelling narc. Yeah, you're out and about being a narc. My friend had a job

through a private security company where she had to steal as much as she could from glass saunas. No, that would make me nervous. That would make me so nervous. To see their level of security. So glass saunas head office obviously hires a security company, right? Yeah, of course. They hire someone who looks like a glass saunas shopper

and is like, go ahead and steal. I'm going to be so embarrassed. Yeah. Getting caught. I know, and the beepers go off and everyone looks at you. Yeah. Oh my God, I couldn't. I'd be too embarrassed.

And the great news is the Green Party does have a couple of openings for people who want to, you know, scratch that itch. Vaughn Allen. Vaughn Allen Smith. And then get into politics. Vaughn Allen. Vaughn Smith. Be a sweetie.

Has he just taken a swing at the left? Is he no longer a mouthpiece to the left? I thought he was the mouthpiece. Well, no, he's not. He's a free agent. He's a free agent. He's a free agent. Now swing where he wants to swing. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly.

Play ZM. Okay. Jason Momoa's got a girlfriend. Whatever. I'm fine. It's fine. I don't even care. I've got a fiance.

Let's not forget. And I'm not just a desperate single just sitting here genuinely believing that I'm going to end up with Jason Momoa. I really let go of that dream. He's got a girlfriend. I've known this for like two years. It's fine. He's gone public. He called her Mia Moore.

She's gorgeous. I'm happy for them. Is she gorgeous? She's been on Vaughan Smith's radar for quite a few years. Okay. Good Omens is a TV show that had Doctor Who in it. You know the Scottish Doctor Who? Sure.

The tall Scottish Doctor Who. You know his name. Why can't I think of his name? Why are you looking at us? And now I've blanked. He's a very well-known actor. David Tennant. Oh, yeah. Martin Sheen. He's a great actor. Good Omens,'ve blanked. He's a very well-known actor. David Tennant. Oh, yeah.

Martin Sheen. He's a great actor. Good omens. They play two. That's a great show, by the way. She's in that. Right. That's where she popped onto the Vaughan Smith radar

and has been quietly bubbling along ever since. And when you mean Vaughan Smith radar, you mean acting ability, don't you? Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. You're not talking about looks. You're not just.

For my production house. Yeah. No, no, no. The craft. The craft. Craft. Craft. She's got fantastic craft. Great craft. Yeah. No, no, no. The craft. The craft. Craft. She's got fantastic craft. Great craft.

That'd be wise with her then. She's got a great set of craft on her. She's got great craft. She's a beautiful Puerto Rican actress. Yeah, beautiful Puerto Rican craft.

Now, here's the good news is that Hayley got a little bit confused when she saw slash met the ma ma or girlfriend. Yeah, I met me a moa.

And she said to me. Because I didn't know her name. I couldn't remember her name. And she was describing her. And so I'm running through the Vaughan Smith encyclopedia. I'm a little, my brain's not working right because I've just Googled her and it's all a little bit, hold on. Oh, God, the words are gone.

And Hayley describes who I believe is Aza Gonzalez. Oh, right. And then he shows me a photo and I was like, yeah, I think that's her. Because she's all done up. But when I've met her, she's been like, oh, Nat Trow. So I was like, there you go. It's her. It's not her.

It's not her. So Vaughn's relieved because his hall pass is free. Right. Okay. Of course, hall passes happen, don't they? Yeah, yeah. The hall pass hasn't even been discussed. In fact, this whole pass has happened, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. The whole pass hasn't even been discussed. In fact,

I'll probably be in trouble for even having this conversation. Right. Yeah. Okay. I beg your pardon. The good thing about every woman that I find attractive

is they do look a fair bit like my wife. Yeah. Same ballpark. Oh my God. I know. Totally. Same ballpark. Same with me.

Same ballpark. Massive, burly, huge people. It means we've got our time, you know, and they should be flattered by that. We're driving a Ford Falcon.

We're just looking to upgrade to the XR6. That's right. Anyway, so. We're happy with the Falcon and the Ford family on a whole. What we want is an XR8. Yes. Now, so on the side of all of this, that's fine. Great.

Good stuff. Happy. Yeah. And long may it last. Anyway, I've talked about, as part of Hayley's Horny Book Club, this app called Quinn, which is an audio erotic app. And recently the actor's just done a whole big thing. Andrew Scott.

Andrew Scott's done it. Yeah. And there's another creator on there who's my number one content creator on Quinn. Now, if you've seen my show in Wellington, you're about to see it in Auckland, you'll hear me talk about this guy. Yes. Fletch knows. Yeah.

And he's my favourite content creator and he goes by the devil of Dublin because he's Irish. He's got a deep Irish voice. Deep, sexy Irish accent. Do we know what he looks like though? No. Oh, that's exciting. Now here's the twist. It's like the Irish guy off the chase. No.

An Irishman can really take a, you know, one of two lanes. They're either utterly gorgeous or, um, you know, little ginger leprechauns. Hayley James threw out apologies to our Irish listeners this morning. No, if you're

not a little ginger leprechaun then you fall in the lane of being extraordinarily hot. So this content creator if I just find him, he has like a little art. Now in his art it's the Irish flag, and then it's a sort of sketch of a man with long hair,

the horns, and a long beard. Very much my type, right? Yes. And his voice is gorgeous. Almost like a character from Vikings, like a silhouette of a big man. Celtic sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so the other day, he's also on Instagram

and I follow him on Instagram, but he posts no face. It's a faceless profile. Really? And he just posts about his like content. And then just two days ago, he did I Can Ask Me Anything. Yeah. And in my show, I make reference to the fact that we don't know anything about him other than his gorgeous voice and his like sexy stories.

And in my show, I reference that I have a suspicion he may live with his parents. Yeah. So on the Ask Us Anything, I just submitted the question, do you live at home with your parents? Yeah. And then he finally, he responded to that with like a full voice thing. I wonder if I can find it without it being dangerous. Hang on. What do you mean without it being dangerous?

The devil of Dublin. I'm just wondering if it's still up. Has Ask Us Anything. No, I didn't record it. I've just been doing a quick Google in the time of this explanation. It seems like the woman of TikTok that listened to these erotic literatures being read by the devil of Dublin are all trying to work out who he is. Yeah.

Who is the devil of Dublin? And he's thinking about revealing himself. You're going to be disappointed. Yeah. Do you know what? I know, I know, I know. As you're setting yourself up. Especially as two men who've worked in radio for many years,

the disappointment on people's faces when they would meet you and having not known what you look like. And they've pictured you. The nicest thing they can think to say is, you're taller than I thought. So here's his voice, because I did do a screen recording of it. It's just like a blank wall, right?

Then he's just answering these questions. My question, do you live with your parents? No. I mean, statistically, if you probably look at some sort of census of Ireland, it is incredibly high in the amount of people who live with their parents only because the housing prices here

and the rent prices are... He got a bit sort of stetsy on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, at the end, he's like, no, I own my own place and da-da-da-da-da. I was like, oh, my God, hot. What does he look like? Then I was like,. At the end, he's like, no, I own my own place. And da-da-da-da-da. I was like, oh, my God, hot. What does he look like? Then I was like, oh, my God, amazingly,

to respond to my question, how great is this? Then I go into my Instagram. And you know me, I've had some pretty hot follows over the last wee while. Briscoes, Chloe Swarbrick, The Wiggles, Jason Momoa. These are my top four. Now I've got the devil of Dublin. Really? And he started going back and liking really old photos of mine. these are my top four now I've got the devil of Dublin and

really he started going back and liking really old photos of mine hot people don't do that hot people don't do that I know they don't hot people don't do that

including the photo of me and Jason Momoa so I was like maybe he's liking in my head I was like he's liking

because he's going this woman likes men like this and this is what I look like that's what I'm thinking wow that's what I'm thinking he's not, this woman likes men like this and this is what I look like. That's what I'm thinking. Wow. That's what I'm thinking. He's not going to look like what you imagine him.

Now, listen. Aaron just texted me saying, oh, Hayley. The devil of Dublin. Thanks for listening, Aaron. The devil of Dublin liked my photo. Why is he listening? He's listening. He's listening.

I think he was worried I wasn't going to make it to work this morning because I slept in. Anyway, he has liked a few of my photos. And so I don't know. So this is your new crush? This is my new crush. Face TBC. Face TBC.

Do you know what I mean? This is giving real early 2000s MSN chat room. I think you're about to get catfished. I know, but listen to the voice. Like, oh my gosh. The things he says to me, Uncle. You know what I mean? Hayley, you have admitted that you are committing a fashion crime

as we speak. Yeah. Now, this has come from some prominent fashion directors and writers from the UK. The Telegraph, The Times. Anna Murphy, the director of The Times Fashion. Lisa Armstrong, head of fashion for The Telegraph.

And they are saying that trainers and dresses are done. And millennials are not having a bar of it. Like, this start, I would say, do you reckon Lily Allen started this? Like back in the day, floral dresses, I'm just crossing to the girlies here

for a bit of a chin wag around the origins of like girly dresses, white trainers. Yeah. Or even like Nikes. Yeah, Lily Allen. Lily Allen was like big dresses, long skirts, trainers. Sun is in the sky, away, away. Do you know what I mean? And then

we've just been going for years. Now I'm wearing like a long skirty dress thing and trainers. It's tried and true. I do this like every day. Yeah, literally every day. Shannon?

It's all I do. You've got the mid day. Yeah, not literally every day. Shannon? Yeah, it's all I do. You've got the midi skirt. Midi skirt. Midi length. And then the trainers. And the trainers underneath. You only have to shave knee down. Ankles get a little quick shave and that's it.

You look stunning. And if you're fake tanning, just to the angle. Just to the knee. Yeah, I know. Well, apparently it's stale now. What do they want us to do? Put on proper shoes? It was 2005, 2006?

Yeah, look, it has been around for a while. We're 18 years deep now. Yeah, I know. Was it not timeless? Thank you. I thought it was timeless. I thought we were going a classic. Is it because the ballet flats are back?

Or the Mary Janes? What I'm wearing today. What are Mary Janes? They can burn and handle that. Oh, you're wearing, I was going going to say you've got your Dorothy's and Oz shoes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stylish little Mary Janes.

I'm not. It's comfort. We've always gone it's stylish and comfortable. That's the two great boxes you want to tip when you're wearing clothes. Because they can't be comfortable walking to your car. No, these are fine. Fine. She said fine. They're no sneakers.

Yeah, they want us to wear loafers, boots, Mary Janes or ballet flats. And they're saying put your sneakers away, keep them for the jime. Mm-mm. How am I meant to comfortably walk? What do you want from me? But they don't want you to. It's the patriarchy. This is the patriarchy at play.

No, hey, I'm pro-sketches. If you girls want to be comfortable in sketches, I'm pro-sketches. You really are a great foot feel. My mum told me at the weekend she's had to stop wearing sketches. She's got what they call a proud toe. What's a proud toe? Went up too much for a sketcher or something. I don't know.

I'm sorry, what? She said it and i was like what are you talking about and i was like that's just a toe that's in a wonky erect toe yeah i said are you trying to tell me your toe points upwards and she said at some parts of the step the toe points up how does it bring no i don't know if it's the roll onto the front of the foot it goes up oh okay because she thought about cutting a hole whatever she is, whatever she is, if that's her biggest issue, a proud toe so she can't wear a pair of Skechers, she has to find a different pair of shoes.

That's fine. Nan, 90, yesterday, still wears Skechers. Right. Okay. Comfort. Well, another stylist has said there are far more appropriate shoes to be wearing with our dresses, including Mary Jane sliders or loafers. R.I.P.

No, not R.I.P. We're bucking the trend. It's anti-fashion. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the Day. Yeah, boy. Good stuff. Caves.

It's been fascinating so far. It's been a good week. I hope today's. I'm really enjoying it. I hope today's is fascinating as well. Okay. Because we're going to Kentucky. Okay.

In the United States of America. Right. Kentucky is the home of the Mammoth Cave. It is the world's longest known cave system. 420 miles of subterranean wonder has been mapped. That's a no thanks from me. Some of it's massive though because mammoth, the name, doesn't refer to bones of the prehistoric elephant-like creature being found. Mammoth refers to the scale of things.

Okay. There's some huge, they're so big, they're called vast theatres of cave, like underground massive openings. Avenues where you could literally drive a car down some of these caves because they're so massive, as well as some much tighter, when it gets to the end of things, things get a little bit tighter. And there are tours that can take up to and over six hours. Wow. Where you can walk around the caves, multiple day tours. It's a massive amount of things.

But the most interesting thing about the Mammoth Cave that I found out is that in a quest to cure, I guess, tuberculosis, Dr. John Krognin of Kentucky, who guess, tuberculosis, Dr. John Krognon of Kentucky, who also had tuberculosis, purchased Mammoth Cave for $10,000 in the 1830s. They didn't know a lot about what they were calling the white plague, tuberculosis then, consumption, they started calling it

a little later in the century. And he said that visitors and miners in the caves had reported feeling well after spending time in the cave. The air is slightly exhilarating.

Sustains one. You know, and it's exciting being down there and when you're down there you hardly feel any sense of fatigue. Okay.

And he's like, well, these are all the things that you experience with the consumption, with the white plague. With the consumption. So he invited 16 patients to take up residence in

the cave in the winter of 1842. They had some lovely slaves build them some houses down there. Wow. Shout out to the slaves. Shout out to the slaves who built stone cabins and simple wooden structures and everything.

So they had watches. They would sink them to the outside world and then, of course, go in because there was no natural light. Yeah, they wouldn't know. And they kind of kept up life as per in the cave. But you'll be thinking if it was dark and in the 1800s, you wouldn't have had solar-powered torches or batteries or anything like that.

Of course, they had to have oil lanterns and a large fire in the middle. Now, one other thing you'll be familiar about caves is that the smoke coming off that fire probably couldn't get out because caves aren't chimneys. No, no. They go straight up. They kind of go down. There's pockets where it would get caught, et cetera. Oh, that'd be awful.

Yeah. So whilst immediately when they went down there, all of the victims began to feel better. The people that suffered from tuberculosis, they began to feel better. Soon after, the smoke and ash from the lanterns and the large fire used to continuously light the cave made them all feel a whole lot worse and degraded and also damaged their lungs.

So a few people died and then they decided to cease the experiment. But when it first went down and everyone started feeling better, he immediately had plans drawn up for an underground hotel where you would come and stay when you had tuberculosis. Did they figure out why that was good for tuberculosis? In the cave.

Yeah. So there was suspicion that it was like less because people were all living in polluted cities. Yeah, right. A lot of people with tuberculosis, it was exasperated by the fact that they were living in places where coal was burning 24-7. They had fires burning in their houses.

It was dusty. Yeah. So when they went to these faraway places, often it was just getting out of the, so it was down there. It was kind of fresh air. It was cooler. It was a consistent temperature.

It didn't go up and down, up and down. And the caves underground. Fascinating. Wowzers. Now, if he'd done it in modern times, granted, tuberculosis is not the problem it once was in the Western world. John Green, author of many books and movies, loves a bit of tuberculosis facts. So I know it's not completely gone. Yeah, right.

From following him online and listening to his podcast. Tuberculosis is still a problem, but in modern times, it could have been a different story. Wow. So today's fact of the day is the longest known cave network in the world was also home to a once and evidently failed tuberculosis hotel. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Yesterday on our podcast, a little bit of pod, we put out a big pod for the whole radio show. Yeah. And there's extras. So do join us on whatever platform you podcast on, iHeartRadio, Spotify, wherever, for our little bits of pods daily. Hey, do it.

You won't. You don't have to listen. Including the weekends. Are you nigging them? I'm nigging them. These guys probably wouldn't get it. Wouldn't even want you. Yeah't have to listen. Including the weekends. Are you negging them? I'm negging them. These guys probably wouldn't get it. Wouldn't even want you. Yeah, you guys probably wouldn't get it. The podcast listeners get it. It's a little bit more

advanced. Maybe not for you guys. How do we start getting talk, how do we start talking about, we were talking about track pants. Oh, you saw someone at the gym with That's right, Vaughan witnessed a man in grey track pants. Short.

Grey track shorts. Yes. And I saw the wang. And you were assuming he must have been excited. Not fully excited, but on his way to or his way back from excitement. It's a bell curve. And that's why you asked us if that had ever happened to us in public. Yes. And then you said a guy at high school. I said, why you asked us if that had ever happened to us in public. Yes.

And then you said a guy at high school. I said, you said the worst place it had ever happened. I said school bus as like a college kid. Yeah. Because of the hormones and the vibrating old Bedford bus that we used to have. Yeah. And then I talked about a guy who did the classic move of when you, as a teenage boy begin to realise

that this is happening there's a swift move called the tuck and you tuck it up under the belt now the important thing is that the t-shirt is not tucked in or the t-shirt, it goes behind the t-shirt and the belt now a fellow

tucked it up but it went between the t-shirt and the belt, meaning the tip of the member was poking out. Now, someone spotted that, and thus the nickname was earned tip. Which I thought was a very kind nickname for the scenario. Considering the situation. He could have been called like Stiffy Pants or something. It could literally be so

much worse. It could be so much worse. And that was his nickname for the entirety of school. Tip. Oh, he was a bit older than him, but when I left, he was still Tip. You know what? I don't even actually know his real name. I can picture him, but I don't know his real name. It's Tip. And to this day, there's a Tip out there.

There's a Tip. G'day Tip. I think he's had morning to all of our tip listeners. Yeah. And so, but that got us onto the topic. We're like, how did you get your high school nickname? Yeah. How did you get your nickname? I didn't have one.

Are we just going to do your high school nicknames or just all nicknames? No, I want like school nicknames. Yeah, because they're always so lame and embarrassing. Something horrendous happened and then it's a lame, constant reminder. Yeah. So, I mean, this could be opening up some traumatic memories for people. That's okay. Trauma's welcome, as always.

Well, 0800-DARZATM is our number. You can text through 9696. How did you get your high school nickname? And what was the story behind it? Permission to laugh. We want to know this morning how you got your high school nickname. So, I think we'll go to Heidi. morning how you got your high school nickname. So I think we'll go to Heidi.

What was your nickname at high school, Heidi? Hid. Hid. Okay, how do we think Heidi got the nickname? Is it just short for Heidi?

Hid? Or did you hide somewhere? She hid somewhere. You hid somewhere because you had a little breakdown or something. You were hiding from... Okay, no.

No. A girl used to sit behind me in math class when I was 14, and she used to pull my hair. She used to think it was real funny. What a bitch. And then she started calling me hideous. And then she started calling me hideous Heidi. Oh, Heidi.

Oh, my God. Oh, it's all right. I know I wasn't, so it's fine. Where's this bitch now? Let's kill her. She made some really nice. She was 14. You know, we became friends.

It's fine. Okay. But I kind of turned around to her and said, whatever, man. Just call me what you want. And it stopped. Oh, okay. Because I didn't care. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I didn't care. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You took the power away. And then it just got kind of shortened to hid, because she can't, it didn't stop straight away, but it just ended up getting shortened to hid, and then all my friends kind of took it up

as a thing as well to not care. But it's short. We all know in our hearts it's short for hideous. Wow. Heidi, thank you. Mickey all know in our hearts it's short for hideous. Wow. Heidi, thank you. Mickey, what was your nickname at high school? So I had multiple. The one I'm calling about is Cripple.

Oh, did you break your leg? Back in the days. So I had a string of bad luck. Okay. So first off, I got laryngitis and the first nickname was Mancala. Mancala. Because of your voice, you were like, I can't talk properly. Yeah.

Okay. And then once that had healed, I then smashed my front teeth and my sternum and got snaggletooth. Aww. One more and I'm taking you out. We are changing schools. Yeah. And then the last one, my brother broke my toe and I ended up needing

surgery. So I was in a moon boot. Aww. Moon boots are so embarrassing. Big fat clobbery things. surgery. So I was in a moon boot. Oh, right. And they were like, you just accident prone. Moon boots are so embarrassing, eh? Big, fat, clobbery things. Yep. Within all of this, I also nearly sliced my finger off and cut my wrist on a mandolin.

What? Oh, sorry. I thought of a guitar. I'm still thinking of a guitar. Medieval. Captain, what's his face's mandolin? The slicer. Thank you, Mickey. Leah, what was your high school nickname? It was Smell-A-Fant.

Smell-A-Fant. Oh, Smell-A-Fant. Oh, my God. That is horrible. I know. So it started in, like, year nine, and my cousin was actually

one of the ones that started it, which is a bit rude, but it's all good. Like, it's all good now. Yeah. They were watching me play soccer and they're like, man, she's kind of run like an elephant.

Like, I mean, I wasn't that big, but, you know, I enjoyed food. And then there was also a rumour going around that I didn't shower for nine days, which is like a very specific amount of time. Nine days is a long time. Yeah, and then they sort of mashed it together. So like for four years of my life, I was known as Smell-a-Fan.

Oh, Smell-a-Fan. Man, the rumours and stuff that would go around schools. I know. It was like quite a ruthless time. They became legend as well. You could never shake them off. Every school had one

where some siblings had been caught kissing. Oh. Ours was the girl who had... I thought you were going to say their name. No, no, no. Ours was the girl who had peed in the pipe. You know, one of those play pipes that you could, like, climb into.

What? What do you mean play pipes you could climb into? It was like a concrete pipe. Yeah. And the rumour was X had peed in it. Oh, no. She hadn't. Thanks, Leah.

Keep your tanks covered. Thanks, Smell-o-Fan. Talking about your high school nicknames. And God, some of these are brutal. I know. Emma, good morning. Good morning. I am imagining just now seeing your nicknames on the screen here under your name that you are a tall person.

Yeah, yeah. 6'2". And I hit my peak height when I was 13. Oh, mate. Oh, wow. It was awesome. It was so great, I tell you. Wow.

And so I was right into athletics, right into running and stuff like that. So somebody, Paul Surrett, I hope he's listening. Fuck you, Paul. Because everybody else has been like, it's okay, it's okay.

Let's name and shame his cousin. No, not Emma. I love that. We'll allow that. He's a good mate. All right. Well, watch your language. Watch your language going forward, please.

Watch your language, Emma. Thank you. Otherwise, Katie will have to pay another fine. Live on air. Yes. So he called me Skippy. Skippy Big Boobs. Oh, Skippy Big Boobs. Oh, Skippy Big Boobs.

Why Skippy? Not only did I get my height, I developed early as well. Right. Skippy Big Boobs. In proportion. In proportion. Okay, and Big Bird as well was one of them. Yeah, so after Skippy Big Boobs faded out, I became Big Bird.

Oh, wow. Because I was tall, lanky, and I don't know. It was an easy target. And you've got a big beak. Yeah, and friends with Mr. Snuffleupagus. Yeah, I'm Caucasian, blonde hair. So I don't know. They put two and two together.

They're like, that is the name. That's the name. Wow. Amazing. Emma, thank you for sharing. You know what? David, what was his name? I think I said it right.

She's got blown away by the absolute F-bomb drop. My nickname, Duck Tang, because I had webbed toes on both feet. Aww. My nickname was Eyebrows. I sported a lovely dark unibrow until I wised up and got that sorted out. Yeah, me too. Me too. Peanut.

Wide shoulders and hips and no boobs. So shaped like a peanut. Aww. Wide shoulders and hips and no boobs. So, shaped like a peanut. Oh, wide shoulders and hips. That's what everyone wants. Yeah. Peanuts go in at the waist. Let's just call it an hourglass figure. Oh, my God.

Okay, so this is the worst. When I was at school, I gave a guy some light hand relief in the back of the bus. We all did. And then from then on, I was just referred some light hand relief in the back of the bus. We all did. And then from then on, I was just referred to as the handyman. Oh my god. Okay. The handyman can. I wonder if they sung it to the Willy Wonka Candyman song.

I gave a girl at high school the nickname Far Lap because I walked in on her and her partner, wait a minute it's disappeared, her and her boyfriend and she was riding him in the saddle That would make him Far Lap I don't know. I would have nicknamed her Lance O'Sullivan

Probably New Zealand's most high profile That's too layered, it's too intelligent that one. You've got to be too into your equine sports to know Well thank you for all of your messages Thank you for We might do an overflow Oh you think for the podcast

And some of them can't be read on I can feel it in your voice that you're dancing around a few of them Yes yes yes We'll make sure you download today's little bit of pod Along with the big pod wherever you podcast Hey guys apparently being the company's most successful podcast Isn't enough They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends.

So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say no.

Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Oh, no, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.