ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 22nd October 2024

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Fast internet makes you lazy People are hiring others to help them resign SLP: Do you have a tattoo for someone who is no longer in your life? Dunedin hug sign goes viral Top 6: Traitorous moves you can make We do our own hear me out trend Hayley Smacked her head What did you find it hard to break up with? Penguin of the year time What did you always want but never get? Fact of the Day Vaughan got the trademe pickup New fitness craze Swiss drummingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn Rudkin. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's six minutes past six. Just flicking Bryn an email. I really love Bryn Rudkin a lot. Actually, we need to get him on. Surely he's gone on some dates.

Yeah, ask him what he's been up to. He's hiding in his newsroom, isn't he? Yeah, let's get him out of the newsroom. Let's check in with Bryn Rudkin's beautiful date life. He's been dating any clairvoyants lately. Well, who knows? They famously keep dying on him. Eight o'clock this morning.

Has that happened more than once? No, just once. No, just once. No, just once she died. Just once she died. That's a shock. Happens to her. That's the start of a pattern and I think we could have

a murderer on our hands. Oh. And then, thus a podcast. The Clairvoyant Killer. Well, you know white girls love a podcast about murder.

We do. iHeart Radio, Jingle Ball, Madison Square Garden. Your chance to be there. Get in the draw at 8 o'clock this morning just got to identify our famous New Yorker

yeah, I believe all of this week it's people born in New York yeah, it is fictional or real fictional or real, and I've had a look at who's today was I didn't know they were born in New York but I think they've got a very recognisable voice yeah, you'll probably be able to work out who it is

so 8 o'clock, your chance to go in the draw. The top six is coming up. Kiwis are applying for Australian passports in their droves. Do you know our friend, Nay, did this? He just got an Australian passport like a month ago. Oh, my gosh. And I messaged him. I was like, I cannot believe this.

Isn't he Argentinian? Yeah, but grew up in New Zealand. Yeah. So, he's got a New Zealand passport. So, he used us as a leapfrog. Yeah. I was a traitor. And I messaged him.

I was like, I cannot believe this. You traitor. I know. My brother's been there for like over 15 years, 16 years, I think. And he doesn't have one. He's true. Yeah, but you kind of. He's loyal.

He's true. Didn't they kind of, you know, when COVID happened, heaps of Kiwis were like. Yeah, heaps of Kiwis were like, but we pay taxes for like all this all this time. And they're like, nah, it's probably a good idea to get a citizenship or a passport. Well, I've got the

top six traitorous moves you can make against this beautiful country of ours. Aotearoa, New Zealand. Land of the long white cloud. Coming up in the top six next though. We love fast internet. We just got a new Wi-Fi box in our studio. I'm on the company's visitor's Wi-Fi.

I had to use Fletch as the person that I was visiting in the company to get some of that free Wi-Fi. I'm waiting for the timer to run out. Wait, so if you look at anything dodgy, is it on me? Yeah, because I was your guest here. Oh my God. Well, we all know what he looks at. You behave yourself, please.

Well, Fast Internet's not all it's cut out to be. There's a dangerous side to it. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Now, I would like us to take this with a grain of salt for a number of reasons. Okay. One, because Fletch has a habit of going on science websites, finding a great headline such as, fast internet makes you fat and lazy.

Yep. Not reading it. Great headline. Great headline. I mean, that's something we should talk about. Fantastic discussion point. New Zealand has great internet. Most people have ultra fast now, right?

Absolutely. Now, what would be great is if you were to go through this scientific study. Oh, my God. That has been published in a journal, in a science journal where scientists will read it, not just silly old comedians and radio presenters and their likes and you could sort of bullet point the key

findings. That's not my job, is it? He's done a 20 page science journal article. I have copied and pasted it into ChatGPT and it's done it. Has it? It's summarised it and then it was like quite long. I said, can you just bullet point this and it's done it. Has it? It summarised it. And then it was like quite long. I said, can you just bullet point this?

And it's given me bullet points. Oh my God. Oh my God. How nice is this? Because this is on a website called science direct.com. It is a huge study, the fattening speed, understanding the impact of internet speed on obesity and the mediating role of sedentary behaviour.

That's what it's called. Okay, wow. A lot of heavy words in here. I tried to find a lighter article on it. By the way, the second reason that I want to say, to take this with a grain of salt, is obesity is a very fickle word. And I just put in my measurements and stuff

into a BMI calculator, which is how they work out obesity. I'm obese. Oh yeah, BMI calculator's crazy. Like the All Blacks would be obese. Wasn't there a new one? Yeah, there's a better way now. Like a circumference?

You do a circumference? Yeah, because then it works out your... You do a waist. I'm doing it. Come up with a better one that makes me not. Okay, Vaughan, summarise this article. This study examined the impact of high-speed internet access on obesity in Australia.

That's what the study focuses on. That's great. Data sources. It utilises a HILDA survey and a National Broadband Network rollout information. Key findings. How good is this? This is great.

A 1% increase in National Broadband Network access is associated with a 1.5% increase in body mass index and a 6.6% point rise in obesity prevalence. So for every 1% an increased access to the national broadband,

so the faster your internet, leads to a 6.6% point rise in obesity prevalence. So the obesity increases 6%. You're getting like, you're not getting a buffering Netflix. You're getting nonstop. Mechanism. Oh, it's just keeping you there, right?

Exceding tree behaviour and inactivity mediate the relationship between internet access and obesity. So if you didn't have good internet access, you're out and about, going for a walk, doing something outside, moving. But if you've got good internet access,

you're sitting there on your phone, you're watching a movie, you're doing this and that. Context. Obesity is a significant public health issue in Australia linked to serious health risks and economic costs. Contribution to literature. Adds to research on obesity determinants

by highlighting the role of high-speed internet. So they've got other factors. I would advise ChanceGTP to dumb this down a bit more. They did. I would be like, add some jokes. I've literally written that. Like, shorter, more concise, please bullet point it,

please make it simpler. Make it funnier. It highlights how increased screen time and reduced physical activity due to internet access may contribute to rising obesity rates.

Wow. Okay. I mean, what we've actually, I think more amazing than the findings of the study is the use of

chat GPT in this segment. Yeah. And we won't be doing that all the time because we like to come up with our own ideas and thoughts. But when Fletch sends through these ridiculous, overblown scientific studies that he didn't even, he literally saw a headline and went copy, link, paste,

into the email and sends it through without even checking if it's insane. Yeah, great, great article. And then he plays a song and then he says, Hayley, do you want to do this? And I'll say, yep. And I'll open the email and then he'll say, you've got a minute. A minute.

A minute for me who has a degree in acting to understand a science report. Chat GPT. To the party. Welcome. This is also making us lazier and fatter too, right? Because we just didn't do any work just then. Yeah.

Yeah, but we weren't going to burn many calories, many more calories. But I was going to be burning mental calories trying to clarify what this was about. Yeah. But actually now I've just sat back. Chat GPT can't access external links. Because then I was just going to say, can you read the article at this link and give me bullet points and paste the link in? And it's like, I can't read external links.

So it's not there yet. I also can't believe this website said I'm overweight. Get a grip. I've never looked better. Get out of here. You're looking great at the moment. Oh, I not there yet. I also can't believe this website said I'm overweight. Get a grip. I've never looked better. Get out of here. You're looking great at the moment. Oh, I know. Absolutely.

I'm looking great. I've got juice in all the right places. Hard work's paying off, isn't it? Get out of here. You feel great? Look great? I almost didn't see you at the gym yesterday until you turned side on. I know.

Tell you who we did see, that person that walked in just as we were leaving. But I can't. Hayley had a bloody. I said I was leaving as Fletch was arriving and we had a little hooey in the middle. And then I said there's a bit of talent around because that's why I'm downstairs now, as you know. And then I looked around and I couldn't see it. I was like, oh, well, I'll leave.

And as I left. I went back to the gym yesterday for the first time in ages. Oh, how are you feeling? Oh, I hate it. How are the balls? I don't get it that better. Okay. Less sore. It sucks. The, how are you feeling? I hate it. It sucks. I don't get that better. Less sore. It sucks. The gym. Who enjoys that?

There were bits I didn't enjoy yesterday. Yeah, it sucks. They were like, oh, where have you been? I said, well, I wasn't feeling well and then I had a huge case of the CBFs but I actually said CBF and it's full. And they looked at me shocked. Oh, well, enjoy it. I was like, very small chance. Oh, it's not about enjoying it.

Very small chance. Enjoying it afterwards. Yeah, tell you what I'd be enjoying right now. A nap and some treats. Yeah, nap and some treats. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Go Japan. What do we know about Japan?

Konnichiwa. Yep. It's a great place, great food. I want to visit so badly. I've only been there once for like six days. Well, stop going back to South America, puppy, and book yourself a Japanese holiday. Yeah, come on, puppy.

Come on, puppy. Put on a kimono and go watch some sumo. I don't know any Japanese. Come on, puppy. Then I have to learn a whole new, what's that, Duolingo. Duolingo. Yeah, but- I have to do Duolingo Japan now.

I know, but if you go to Tokyo, literally everyone speaks English. You go to say it's konnichiwa and arigato and then you're fine. One problem they have in Japan at the moment is a chronic labour shortage

and like a declining population. Oh, yeah. Like they're always trying to set people up on dates and make people have babies. Was it Japan when they were doing that dating thing

that if you dated someone from the regions and stuff, because they were like, get out there, get on the farms, have some kids. Yeah, some of the rural places have been setting up that. Yeah. So this is an interesting article I found. Because of the fact that they're struggling to fill jobs,

they're also pressuring people into staying in jobs when they've had enough and they want to quit. Oh, really? Like, it's really hard for people to quit jobs. I know, I really, you know, I hate it here. The boss is an a-hole. And they're being kind of, I guess, bullied into staying. And now popping up all over Japan are these companies

that offer to resign for you. Oh! Oh, so they take care of all the... So they take care of it because people are like, either they don't have the social skills to resign. Yeah, totally. Or they, you know, find it a bit... Keep getting like manipulated into staying.

Or they're just really shy and they don't know how to kind of do it. Like, how do I resign? You just leave. You just say, oh, I'm not going to work here any longer. Just don't turn up. But then you need your holiday pay. You need your holiday pay, right? Or do they have to...

Do Japan do holiday pay? Surely. Surely. Don't they work like a bajillion hours? They love working, don't they? They love to work. They reckon there are like a hundred companies now over Japan offering these services. I just thought of an offensive saying. What?

Working like a Japanese beaver. Is that offensive? I don't know. Because beavers work hard until the dam's done. And the Japanese work hard. And the Japanese work hard. Work, work, work, work, work. And the Japanese work hard. Look at you bloody working like a Japanese beaver.

It feels racist. It feels, but it's complimentary. When you say it out loud, it doesn't feel great off the tongue. It doesn't feel great. I don't know if kind of like debating if something's derogatory on air is a great idea. No, because we're learning and it might stop someone saying something offensive. Right. We're doing a great format

in which to workshop whether something's racist or not. Vaughan's new segment. Is this racist? I mean, if you have to ask. Should we do this? Chances are. Try another one.

What's another complimentary? I don't know if this is a good idea. It's scary in here. The studio's scary this morning. It's hot. It's hot. It's hot. What's the temperature?

Anyway, back to... Have you ever resigned from anything? I'm going to Google complementary stereotypes. I've pitted out. Good luck over there. Fletch and I will just separate ourselves from you. Hayley and I will just continue to pay our mortgages. Yeah, thank you. Shut up. What was just continue to pay our mortgages. Yeah, thank you.

Shut up. What was I going to say? I can't remember. No, I've only pitted out of jobs. What do you mean pitted? Like pitted, pitted, pitted, pitted. Just sort of like I had a job in a cafe. Yeah.

And then I sort of went overseas and never really came back. And then. What, so you didn't resign? You just. I had a job in a clothing store and then I got into university and so then I sort of started just working weekends and then I got busy and... And you just stopped going.

Yeah, and then I became a contractor. So jobs just kind of... Yeah, right. Were only ever short term. When I leave here, I'm going to go out with a hiss and a roar. I'm going to come in intoxicated. Yeah.

I'm going to give everyone a piece of my mind. Yeah. I'll probably say some offensive stuff on here, like, God, I'm bloody tired of working as hard as a Japanese beaver. Something like that. Okay. And then, yeah. NPR have got a podcast, Strong Black Woman, Smart Asian Man,

The Downside to Positive Stereotypes. Okay. Listen, I'll read, I'll educate myself, and then we'll all be In a better position And we won't be saying Japanese beaver anymore Well we would Just for the record

We would You came up with it We weren't You said it I haven't made that up though I've never heard anyone say that Haven't you? Google working hard

Like a Japanese beaver And find out whether Anyone's actually ever used Japanese beaver Because I think you've Just come up with it my love I think you're mixing Something else

That I won't say. Busy beaver. Busy beaver. There is a Japanese beaver. Of course there's beavers in Japan. That's not the question we're asking. It's a small subspecies of the Eurasian beaver. But is it known for working hard?

Well, beavers are, yes. And the Japanese have a fantastic work ethic. I'd say too hard. Often they'll die at their desk won't they we're not struggling to resign but there has been stories if we could just if someone

actually googled it's a Simpsons joke is it? oh is that where you got it from? no I don't know someone's texting another one to give a go, but I'm unsure. No, we're not doing, we're not, I'm tapping out now. Wait, wait, wait, I want to play the Simpsons clip

because apparently this is the, is it loading? I'm on the guest Wi-Fi. Could you resuitify me as the guest? Absolutely. He's Googling this on my Wi-Fi. Get on the word Wi-Fi. Play. ZM.

Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Silly little pole Silly little pole It is so silly silly silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Today's silly little pole. A Brazilian football player. Fullback and former Real Madrid player. Vinicius Tobias? Too many I-S's in that name for me. I wouldn't, if my last name was Tobias, I wouldn't call the kid Isius.

There's too many Isius's. It would be like calling a kid Vornus. Kent. Vornius the Smithius. There's too many Isiuses. Yeah. It would be like calling a kid Vornus. Kent. Vornius the Smithius. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds very sort of ancient Rome, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, he had his ex-girlfriend give birth to a baby girl named Maite.

And so he got the tattoo and then turns out it wasn't even his. DNA results are in and you are not the father you're not the dad how horrible that's horrible that is horrible that sucks but it's not only DNA

that makes you a father he could still raise that child as his own yeah true he earns 6 million pounds as a footballer that's lovely that's football money

tomorrow we three are winning 30 million dollars so I guess that makes us about even. Yeah. A couple of footballs there. So we want to know, and today's silly to poll, do you have a tattoo for someone who is no longer in your life? Yeah, like people get the partner tattooed, the wife, the husband.

Yeah, I've got a J. I've got a J for Jess. She's still around, though. She's still in your life. Well, 86% of people said nah, but 14% of people have a tattoo for someone that is no longer in their life. Isn't that insane? That is a big number.

Nikita said only people who have died. I'm a big fan of tattoos to remember life once. See, I was assuming every single tattoo was an ex or an ex-friend, but yeah, of course people get... It's almost more reason to have it, you know? Does But yeah, of course, people get... It's almost more reason to have it.

Yeah. You know? Does it count, says Cameron, that my ex-best friend did a tattoo on me, he then stole money from me, and to remind me I have this stupid tattoo on me. That's pretty awesome. I would...

Cameron, that is what I would define as awesome. I would get that covered up. Yeah. I thought you were going to get that cut off. I was like, that's not how they do it, darling. I'll get it lasered. I think cutting it off would hurt less than laser tattoo removal, though. Have you seen it?

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Is it like hair removal, but more insane? Apparently the pain is unknown. Right. Worse than getting a tattoo? Worse than getting, oh yeah, tattoos don't really hurt that much. Well, think about that when you're getting a Playboy bunny. It's going to hurt years later.

I'll just get mine. It's not something nice to look at when you're back there. Do you know what I mean? What? My bunny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got one in 2000 and what year was that? Three?

Yeah. When you were 14. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah. It was my first one and I love it. It's a bit blurry now. A bit blown out.

Seriously? Years of weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, weight loss. Is it a kangaroo? Yeah, who knows? Why is it ripped

in half like that? Sarah said, yeah, I've got two matching tattoos with separate people who I no longer talk to. Oh, God.

At least one is a whiskey glass so it's kind of cool in moderation, of course. Yeah, moderation. The other is YTG on my butt so you can't see it. YTG? YTG. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Still, the other is YTG on my butt, so you can't

see it. YTG? YTG. Yeah, the girls. Or the initials. Nah, but yeah, the girls. Or the young thugs gang. No, it could be like Warren Terry Gregory. It's Y. Oh, Y. Yacht. Yorin. Just go Yorin.

Yorin Terry Gregory. Yorin's. I wonder who Yorin's named after of Yorin. Just go Yorin. Yorin. Yorin Terrence Gregory. Yorin. I wonder who Yorin's Terrence. Yorin's Terrence. Yeah. The famous movie. Love Yorin's Terrence. Yorin's Terrence of Arabia.

Sam said, our friendship settled over talking about the TV show New Girl. Got themed tats with our own handwriting and everything. It is a great show. It's not a tattoo show. It's not a tattoo show. It's not tattoo worthy. What are you getting?

Schmidt saying something. I don't know. What was that? Every time he said something dumb, he had to put money in the jar? Yeah, maybe. The douche jar or whatever it is. Yeah. Got themed tats with our own handwriting and everything.

Drifted apart over the years and now we don't talk. It's always a remember of them. It's always a reminder of them. But ah well, no regrets. No regrets, yeah. Shah said two matching tattoos with my ex who I broke up with 10 years ago. If you're going to get a tattoo with someone, like a matching one, like the whiskey glass, make it something that still makes sense without them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I've got a few people that they're partnered with, but if I wasn't friends with them still, it would be fine. You wouldn't know. Yeah. Rather than just like Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, you know. I got his name in a full sleeve.

This is anonymous. I got his name in a full sleeve. The kid isn't mine as it turns out. Oh. Genetically, but as you said before. DNA does not make the man. Does not make the father. No, it certainly doesn't.

And I got matching ones with my bestie who sided with my ex in our separation as our partners were friends. Met her in a baby group and my son is now a teen. Our kids are still friends and I'm civil, but I'll never trust her again to mean anything to me. Oh, wow. Gosh. Jesus Christ.

Got that off your chest? That's what something was, wasn't it? Wasn't that something? That silly little boy. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Okay, there is a sign at Dunedin Airport that has caused some controversy, shall we say.

Because a couple of weeks ago, someone put this on Reddit. Yeah. And then everyone was like... And I think Dunedin Airport has come out saying, look, we are trying to have a little bit of fun with this as well. Like, it's tongue-in-cheek, but the sign is a sign that has two little figures hugging, and it says, max hug time

three minutes. For fonder farewells, please use a car park. And it's their way of being like, don't loiter. Yeah, because it's a good way of doing it. Because is it maybe they've toned it down a little bit now because of that new area for drop offs at Auckland Airport. But do you see someone who literally would be like

bang, bang, bang. Move, move, move. Or like blow a whistle and stuff. It was aggressive. Hey, hey, hey. I love you. Enjoy it. Bye. I know. It was really full on. So it's at the drop off point. So they're basically saying it's

just trying to keep wait times down and improve traffic flow so that people aren't hanging around or like waiting and stuff. It's just a little fun way to do it. If you want a big lingering hug, park and go in. Go into the airport. Yeah. That's basically what they're saying.

This is not a place to loiter, but they've just done it in a fun way saying max hugs three minutes. So this kind of was in like New Zealand news last week, but now- It's gone global. I'm reading this on The Guardian. I saw it on CNN. Yeah.

And now everyone's just like, oh, you can't hug vlog in New Zealand. Yeah. Which I'm all for. Three minute hugs, too much. Oh my God. I've told you before about this, before the time that me and my friend Maria

put on a timer for a five minute cuddle and it was so nice we just stood in her room, we just had a hug it's a lovely way to connect you know if you want to be a lesbian you can just be a lesbian I'm thinking about it I'm thinking about it it wasn't in a gay way

it was in a deep deep friend love way that was the most bogus thing you've ever said you want to be a lesbian you want to be a lesbian go I love a lot That was the most Bogan thing you've ever said You want to be a lesbian You want to be a lesbian Just go I love a long hug But you're very You're very touchy

And tact Yeah You love a hug I love a hug As do most of my friends And I'm like That's enough I know

But it's quite good Because I've got Plenty of friends That enjoy a deep hug So when it comes to you It's fine It's fine that we get a That's the sound That's the sound Of fine. It's fine that we get a,

that's the sound, that's the sound of Fletcher's hugs. And you get like three a year. I get three a year. Normally after we've been on holidays and I haven't seen you for a while.

After holidays. Or if I'm boozed. Or if you're a little bit boozed or if everyone is all meeting. Yep. And then we see each other and it's like, wait a minute,

you said booze. You don't get booze because you only drink in moderation. Oh, that's right. You also hug in moderation. I hug in moderation as well, yeah. He does everything in moderation.

Everything. He's a very moderate man. Even moderation itself. He does in moderation. Yeah. Moderation in moderation. It's the way to go. It's the only way to go.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Good riddance. Scram. What's that? Leave her alone. Get out of here. Hey, you, leave her alone.

Have you seen that video? No. Of that woman? No. And she's like, scram, get out of here, leave her alone. She doesn't want that. That. Right.

Oh, you haven't seen it, so it's kind of fallen a bit flat. Kind of hard, yeah. It's not as funny when you just describe a video to me. A meme's not better when I just describe what I saw. It's not better. Well, I'm saying that to Kiwis who are taking out Australian passports in what is called an exodus. How dare they?

Well, they made it easier, right? Yeah, they did. To become an Australian citizen if you're a Kiwi, they made it easier and then... And if you're going to live there, you may as well have one because you get the benefits. You get benefits, yeah. I think it's on par with our passport, right?

Yeah, they're not really. They're not going to open up the world for you in a different way. They need a visa to go to Chile. We don't, so... Suck it. Suck it. Suck it, Aussie scum. Suck it. Suck it. Suck it, Aussie scum. Suck it.

Suck it. Suck it. New Zealand rules. Australia drools. In the year to August stats, New Zealand reports a record 134,000 people migrated from New Zealand. Yeah, it's bad. A lot of young people, they're worried about the brain drain. What New Zealand city size is that even comparable to?

A lot of them. That's bigger than a Timaru. Oh, huge. Imagine if all of Timaru just got up and left. Well, they kind of have. Yeah. But not all from Timaru. Anyway.

Traitors. Here are the top six other traitorous moves you can make if you're a New Zealander. Number six on the list. Getting a South African rugby jersey. Oh, my God. Fine if you're South African. I would never support the Springbrocks. Springbrocks? We're a Springbox.

We're there for a reason. That's right. Very good reason. We didn't like it anymore. Number five on the list of the top six traitorous moves you can make as a Kiwi. Not having seen nor want to see Flight of the Concords, the limited HBO TV series, which is fantastic.

It's iconic. It's so funny. It's so good. Sleeping in single beds side by side. Yeah. It's aging well, too. I was going to say, how is it aged? I watched an episode.

A couple of real non-problematic guys. Yeah. Never said anything terrible. Nah. They were good boys. They still are. Number four on the list of the top six traitorous moves you can make as a New Zealander. Calling it a Chinese gooseberry, not a kiwi fruit.

That is a kiwi fruit, my friend. That is no longer recognised as a Chinese gooseberry. Lots of people, lots of countries overseas now recognise it as the kiwi. They call it kiwi. They're eating kiwi. Whereas we say kiwi fruit because kiwi belongs to the bird. Yeah. No, you don't

eat them. You don't eat them. As you said, no, no. Number three on the list of the top six traitorous moves you can make as a kiwi, saying that Lord of the Rings was a bit shit. No, it wasn't. How dare you? But we can say that The Hobbit was. We can say that the first Hobbit movie was good. The second was

okay. The third one wasn't even in the book. Oh, okay. But Lord of second two, the second was okay. The third one wasn't even in the book. Oh, okay. But Lord of the Rings, the trilogy, amazing. A flawless series. Number two on the list of the top six traitorous moves you can make as a Kiwi saying Linda-t-chocolate is better than Whittaker's.

Simply not. It's very good. I mean, I do love a Linda-t-ball. A Linda-t-ball. Would you rather have a Linda-tid ball or an almond gold slab? Almond gold slab. Almond gold slab. Or a coconut slab. Or a coconut slab.

Actually, I might go triple pack today for the glove box. I'm going to Mitre 10 on the way home today. I'm going to get a triple pack. You know, I still think I've got two from last time, but they're both coconut. I want to get an almond gold in the mix. Get an almond gold. Oh, what a treat. And number one on the list of the top six traitorous moves you can make as a Kiwi,

not liking goddamn onion dip with your chips. Fletch, thoughts? I hate it. I hate it. Give me an Australian passport. Take your bag and leave. Why do you hate onion dip? Kiwi onion dip.

He hates it. You haven't tried mine. I put a bit of pickle juice in it. Oh. You know how sometimes you add a squeeze of lemon to cut through pickle juice and sometimes I'll even chop up some pickles.

Okay. Now we're talking chunky onion pickle dip. Because normally it just tastes dry and like wallpaper paste. No, next time I come over I'm going to make you mine.

But if you've just not got any of that, you've just got a tin of whatever that stuff is. Reduce cream. Yep. And?

Maggi onion soup. Still a great dip. Still a great dip, even if you're just having it unrefrigerated. Yeah, with your fingers. Fletch thoughts. Yuck. You've never just put your fingers straight into it? No, absolutely not.

Absolutely not. That is just... You've never just... No. Do you want a bit of that? I can say never. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hay never. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Fleshborn and Hayley.

I just made my coffee with October 15th milk. Crank milk. It was tangy. It's a week old. Milk's good for like three or four days, maybe five at a push. I know, I know. But I reckon when you get to a week, there's a reason.

As soon as I had a mouthful, I was like... Was it lumpy? You poured it down the sink. It wasn't lumpy, no. It wasn't lumpy. No, no, it wasn't lumpy. Just tangy. Okay. Okay, let's do the hear me out trend.

Okay, tell me what it is. Okay, so what it is, friends, is there's a cake. You get a cake. And you know how you put things into a cake, like candles or like toppers or whatever? Yeah. This is the hear me out cake in which everyone brings their own little stick with a character on it or like a... Why are we... Yeah, okay. Don't ask me why the cake is important. Yeah. This is the hear me out cake in which everyone brings their own little stick with a character on it or like a...

Why are we... Yeah, okay. Don't ask me why the cake is important. Yeah. Because after we have this nice discussion, we get to eat cake. Okay, that's cool. Sorry, are you pissed off there's a cake involved? No.

Can't please this guy. Is it carrot cake with cream cheese icing? Well, yes. I'm the happiest boy there is. If it's us, it's carrot cake with cream cheese icing. Awesome. With a nice thick layer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And some crunchy walnuts. So you can have a bit of icing with every piece of the cake. Oh, gone. Damn, I love carrot cake. Yeah, it's the superior cake. So, and then everyone brings along their hear me out. And the hear me out is, hear me out, but this guy's kind of hot. And usually it's a character.

For example, like one of the chipmunks from Alvin and the Chipmunks. They're like, hear me out. He looks like a bit of an F boy. And like, maybe I would. The good thing about the chipmunks is there was someone for everyone. You know, Alvin was the cool guy. Simon was the book guy. And then Theo, Theodore, was the like chubby little cute,

like a little bit clumsy sort of guy. These videos have been around a while. They've been around for a while, but we've never talked about them and they just keep popping up in my feed. Hear me out. Woody from Toy Story. Do you know what I mean? Like with his little vest and his little shirt and stuff.

There's the obvious ones. There's the obvious ones like Jessica Rabbit and what's her name? Lola from Space Jam and stuff. Because they are like hyper-sexualized. But like hear me out. Who did you go to? Who's the guy from Despicable Me? Crew.

Crew. He's kind of a bad boy. He is a bad boy. Really? Yeah. Who chose original Disney Peter Pan? Hear me out. He's trouble.

Hear me out. Probably some guy looking for a twink. Hear me out, Fred from Scooby-Doo. Yeah, hear me out. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of heavy lifting there. What about, okay, so I just Googled Hear me out, Fred from Scooby-Doo. Hear me out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the perfect. There's a lot of heavy lifting there. What about, okay, so I just Googled hear me out.

Here's... There's a few. Someone being like... The B from... Yeah. Voice for a jury. People love the green M&M as well. You know, the M&Ms are like...

Yeah. Bit of you, is it? Eve from the movie WALL-E. Hear me out. Oh, yeah. Hear me out, Simba's dad. Oh, yeah, but that goes without saying. Like hot. He was a pig. That was a power play. We me out. Oh, yeah. Hear me out. Simba's dad. Oh, yeah, but that goes without saying. Like, hot.

He was a king. That was a power play. We did a phone-in topic. We did who is your sexual awakening. That's right. When you were like, what is this feeling I'm feeling? Yeah. And it was all like Aladdin and.

Hear me out. Who's the red guy from Bluey? The red dog. Oh, that's their uncle. Hear me out. Potato Head from Toy Story. Why Potato Head? Okay, they're just. He's neurotic. Hear me out, Potato Head from Toy Story. Why Potato Head? Okay, they're just, they're obviously.

He's neurotic. Yeah. I love it. It's so funny. I don't know who mine would be. Some of them are doing characters as well, though. Postman Pat. Kylo Ren.

Oh, yeah, Postman Pat. Reliable. Very smart. On time. Big nose. Good with cats. You know what that means. Yeah, hello.

What about the, like, bad boy tank engine? Like, not Thomas. Who is the sexy tank? The diesel. Well, no, the diesels that were bad news. Yeah. Do you know, like, hear me out. Lightning McQueen.

Someone said Lightning McQueen. Oh, yeah. Maybe because of his redemption arc. Yeah. Jake from American Dragon. Hear me out, Art the Clown. Hear me out, Pet. There are texts coming in.

Yeah. Kogo from Lion King 2. Familiar with Mew 2 from Pokemon? Thick. Thick. Thick. With two Cs. Thick.

Thick. Hear me out. Thick. Hear me out. You would though, wouldn't you? In a different world. In a different world. I mean, any female from Pokemon pretty much.

Nurse Joy, hello. Hello. Yesterday, it was at the GIME, and I was thrusting my hips downstairs. Okay. I'm still downstairs, absolutely loving it. And I did mention just before that I had an incident at the gym, and someone wanted to clarify whether or not the incident

was me actually trying out the pads on the feet in the shower. Because you've got your jandals. Yeah, no, no, no. I haven't actually done that. But check out the video online. Go and follow us on socials, FVHZM on TikTok and Instagram. And while you're there, why not take us with you

when you travel on the iHeartRadio app? Good KPIs for you today. Great KPIs. Tick, tick. Thank you. KPI tick. It's three tick. Eyes Good KPIs for you today. Great KPI. Tick, tick. Thank you. KPI tick. It's ears to eyes. Yeah, fantastic.

I'm just doing a bit of ears to eyes, eyes to ears. Anyway, no, I went to the gym yesterday and I was working down in the hip thrusting area and I had plates on the bar because I've got a I'm trying to grow a real badonk donk here. And at the end of it, what I do, and which I wish everyone did, was I take it all off the rack and put the plates back.

Oh, sometimes I just walk away. Sometimes I'll just walk away. Monster. What are you? Well, because the person using it next is going to need weights. No. Aren't they? Huh?

Yeah, but they might not want the same amount of weights. They might struggle to get your weights off. They might drop it on their toe. That's your job to re-rack. No, but they might want those same weights. Well, you should ask them. The chances of them using those weights are higher than them not. No, everyone should be free to choose their own weights at their own,

like the order that they want it to go in. Right. You're leaving 20s on, 10s on, 5s on. What a pain. I want to choose. So I was de-racking. Okay. And I was sliding off some weights and stuff.

And there's like the rack in front of it is where you store the plates. And then above that is a bar where they put like bags and Swiss balls and stuff. Right. And other things. And I put down a weight down the bottom and I stood up and I absolutely smacked my head on this iron bar. Wow. Like, oh. And I couldn't tell if my head was bleeding or sweating.

You know when you hit something and suddenly it feels cold and I dribble? Yeah, you dribbled. My head dribbled a little bit. Oh, your head dribbled, okay. But I did have my headphones in. I was listening to music quite loud. And I sort of, you know when you hit something,

you scream and expletive. Yeah. Why, I must have done that because suddenly all eyes were on me as I had effed my way through the whole room and everyone was staring at me with this like smacked head. Did it make a dong? Oh, it must have. It made a dong inside my brain because I had the headphones

and I can only imagine. Yeah. But then everyone was looking at me, but I did that thing, you know when you like trip up when you're on your own and you just like try to. You pretend that you. But I was like seeing stars and not sure if my head was bleeding down my face or if it was sweat or not.

And I tried to play it really, really cool because there were a lot of really hot people looking at me. Right. And I sort of was just like trying to like walk around and walk it off and have a little look to, you know, have a little feel to say,

oh, there is a little bump there actually on the back of your head. You could have a serious head trauma. Yeah, I know. You could start like lashing out at us

in anger. Well, that's probably why I wanted to tell you this story is if I do start lashing out, I've probably got a deep concussion. Yeah, like rugby players.

Because immediately afterwards I was like, I'm just going to lie down for 30 seconds and I just went to sleep on the gym floor. Oh no, you're not supposed to do that. You're not meant to do that. You're not meant to do that. No. No, like rugby players. Because immediately afterwards I was like, I'm just going to lie down for 30 seconds and I just went to sleep on the gym floor. Oh no, you're not supposed to do that. You're not meant to do that. You're not meant to do that. No, but my body was like, close your eyes, have a nap, have a nap. That's what

it demanded. I think that's why people were staring at me less so that I hit my head, but more because I had a little sleep on the ground afterwards. Just a quick 30 second. Man, it hurts. I hate, I hate hitting your head. It's weird, it's that, when you dong your head, that's, I've never, I don't think I've ever properly concussed myself. I think I've dong my head and been like bleh.

But I've not concussed myself. That noise when you bang your head. It's yuck. It's horrible. It's horrible and it rattles right through your ears. Mine was on the soft spot, you know, when you're a baby. Because your fontanelle never shut, did it? Never shut.

So it's really open. I'm like a baby. When I wake up in the morning, it's all flat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've got to wait for it to sort of like pop out and stuff. Yeah. You hang upside down sometimes, don't you? Just sort of like get the brain back into that. That's why Hayley always walks around with a cycle helmet on, even in just

a normal life. Yeah, I'm wearing it now. You can't hear it, but I've got a helmet on at all times. Just in case you dong your head. Well, if I fell off here and I donged the soft bit, it would be terrible news. Yeah, you'd be gone. Yeah. So anyway, I'm safe.

But if you did see me yesterday, I do apologise for screaming out the F word quite loud. Foul language. Foul language, but I hurt myself dearly. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. A man in Ohio, he was a member of a gym that had one of those, you know, like no contracts. Cancel any time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was finding it tough with money. So he's like, you know, like no contracts. Cancel any time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was finding it tough with money. So he's like, you know what? I'm going to cancel my gym membership. Goes into the gym and they're like, oh, look, sorry, we can't do it here. You're going to have to do it online. So, oh. So went online.

What do you mean? I know. I'm here. This started his month-long process of trying to cancel his gym membership. He went online. He found no way to do it online. He just went through a maze of their website. They couldn't help him on the phone or at the reception desk,

so he just cancelled his credit card. Oh, my God. That's so much worse. Can you even do that? Yeah, you just ring up and be like, I can't cancel, I've lost my credit card. Can you cancel everything? But then do they give you a whole,

they'd give you a whole new number. A whole new card and then all your other subscriptions. And so apparently banks are, this is in America, I don't know if it's the same here, but banks are seeing this happen quite a bit. People are just cancelling their card and having to set up every, or any payments, automatic payments again new because it's easier.

Oh, my God. And I know a lot of some countries, some states in America are looking at making it like illegal to make it hard to end subscriptions because everything's subscription-based now. They've definitely done it on emails. When you want to unsubscribe from emails, you just click unsubscribe and then basically you're out. But cancelling some things is so hard. But not only like the obstacles they put in front of you,

but sometimes it's just like you feel a bit bad. I know that. Leaving something. Well, this is what I wanted to ask this morning is when did you find it hard to break up with someone that wasn't a person, like a company? A company or like a job or even like

leaving a flat. I remember when I finally left my flat because I moved in with Aaron. I was like I found it really hard because I lived with all these great friends and I was the thing that caused that whole flat to like disband because I was like well now we can't get someone else in. How did you eventually tell them? Did you just leave a note or text them?

I just said like, I said hoes before bros, in fact. I said, I'm sorry my girls. It's Mrs. before sisters. It's Mrs. before sisters. I've got to give this a go. That was similar when I kind of moved in with Shaday. I just kept paying rent at my old flat. Because you were just like, oh I feel terrible.

But they loved it because it was one less person and the rent was still being paid. Yeah. But you could have easily have just been like, guys, I'm moving out. But you just found it too hard. Yeah. Yeah, and that was pretty like final, you know.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was no going back. Yeah, no going back when you move out, you know. I have a friend who is dilly-dallied about leaving her nail girl for ages. And she was like, and this is not my nail girl. Yeah. And good morning, Sophie.

You know, she loves it. She loves the phoners. We've said this last week. Sophie loves it when we do the phoners and people call up. She's about to phone herself in the middle of one. Oh, wow. Sophie, you're in luck. No, I'm not talking about her.

But one of my friends has been seeing the same nail girl for ages. She's really, really expensive and doesn't do a great job. Oh, okay. Every time that she sees other people's nails, she's like, really expensive and doesn't do a great job. And every time that she sees other people's nails, she's like, oh my gosh. Just don't go. No, I know, but it's the breakup thing. I had the same

thing with my doctor. My other doctor was on the other side of town and I'd moved and I would go all the way over just to see him. And then I was like, I've got to get one closer, but I couldn't do it. You're just working up the courage to be like, hey, so I'm leaving. And then he kind of semi-retired, so I was like, I've got to get one closer, but I couldn't do it. You're just like working at the car to be like, hey, so I'm leaving. And then he kind of like semi-retired so I was like, oh, thank God. He's like, he's away

for months, I'll just leave now. It'll just be easier. He's away for months. He's away for months? I don't know if he was on holiday. Semi-retired, that's interesting. Is that technically what Dr. Shawnee's current situation is? Yeah, three days a week sounds semi-retired to me.

You'll have to ask him. So, yeah, this is what we want to ask this morning. 0800 dials at M. You can text her 9696. A lot of messages already. What did you find it hard to break up with that wasn't like a love relationship? I mean, and we even spoke earlier about the new services in Japan

to help you resign from your job. Yeah. Because people are like too shy or they feel bullied into staying. Yeah. 0800-DARLS-IT-M-9696. What did you find it hard to break up with? Like a service, a subscription.

A person. A place. Oh, yeah. Not like, well, yeah, maybe. Do you even reckon like a person? Well, no, no, like a doctor. Like a nail technician or a doctor. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, maybe a person as well. You're just like, when's the right no, no, like a doctor. Like a nail technician or a doctor. Oh, yeah, yeah. But yeah, maybe a person as well. You're just like, when's the right time to break up with Steve? Yeah. And it's two years you're still waiting for that right time. Give us a call. We want to know who you've found it hard to break up with. Yeah. Not a person, but just like maybe a service, like your doctor.

Yeah. Or like this guy who tried for months to break up with his gym in America. It's so difficult. And so he just cancelled his credit card. Problem solved. I don't think that would work if you're on like a 24-month term because then they could legally come after you. Yeah, yeah, but if it's a contract-free thing, why not?

Yeah, this was contract-free, but then they just made it extremely difficult to find that unsubscribe button. Yeah. But whether it was like a complication with how to do it or you just in yourself felt bad, which is honestly the more common thing coming through. Somebody

said, like Fletch, I can't break up with my doctor. I work in Pitaruru, live in Matamata, but my doctor's in Cambridge. Now as a Waikato lad, I can appreciate that. It's all over the place. The driving from Matamata to Pitaruru, not too bad. Yeah. Right. Well, I was...

Chuck Cambridge in the mix, he got the whole carapera. Also, I was lucky to get in with a new doctor, like, at the start of the year, because lots of places aren't taking new patients. It's like, it's a bit of a struggle at the moment. Bridget, who did you have trouble breaking up with? Morena team. Morena.

Morena team. Morena. Morena. So, like many people, I get a bit of Botox, you know. Got to stop the frown lines from, you know, taking over my face. Absolutely. There's lots of frowning in my day. Oh, you would be constantly frowning. All the frowning. You know, I just give them that side look and they know. But how do they know if you're angry at them now?

It's all about the eyes. That's good. It's good she's emotionless. It's preparing the children to be taught by AI. That's good, actually. You know, you do get the eyes more involved, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But I was seeing this lady and she owns her own business. She was great. She was the first person that I went to But I was seeing this lady, and she owns her own business. She was great. She was the first person that I went to where I was like, great, I trust you, all that. And then I have a friend who brought into a beauty franchise, and I was chatting to her one night, and I was like, damn, you are way cheaper. I've got to do it. I'm cheating on her. I'm leaving her.

I still see her stories, and I'm like, oh, I've left you. I'm the worst. But, man, you've got to do it. I'm cheating on her. I'm leaving her. I still see her stories and I'm like, I've left you. I'm the worst. Man, you've got to save money when you can. You've been to the friend and had it done. Because I was going to say, cheaper isn't always better, especially when someone's injecting poison into your face.

I know, but it's the same stuff, the same units, all that type of thing and I'm saving money, so. So you haven't technically broken up. You're just cheating at this stage. Yes, I'm cheating. Yes, I'm a horrible cheater. Wow.

I love that. Bridget, thank you. Ali, who did you have trouble breaking up with? Oh, my gosh. So, Morena. Morena. Mine was Gramerly. Gramerly.

Oh, okay. You know how, like, when normally, you know, you don't normally get to talk to a person. So, all you go in, I was on Grammarly for a few years when I was studying, and it was great. But then I didn't need the four-year subscription. So, I was able to go down to a three-monthly Grammarly Pro. Yeah.

Realised I didn't need it. So, I went in and wanted to cancel it. So, you go into your click on your name and then it comes up with would you like to cancel membership and everything that's why I'm here and no the next month my husband said oh did you know

you've still, did you not cancel Grammarly and I'm like yes this happened three times so we were like why is it not cancelling? And so I went on there and it kept telling me that, you know, it kept saying that it was not working anymore. And I'm like, it's still giving us, like, bills. Yeah.

So I just went in and cancelled our card. Yeah, you did it. You just did a straight card cancel as well. That's so much worse. Oh, no, it was fine. But what really made me giggle was that now when it pops up on my computer the gremlin pro was no longer there um so originally it was still coming through yeah but it's like now they're no longer receiving anything

they've decided oh we'll actually cancel you oh they'll finally do it oh yeah they'll do it when you're yeah yeah they're checking out they're're here. Yeah, they're cheeky, aren't they? They're cheeky. You got out of there. But I know, but cancelling the card, like, we don't use our credit card that often anyway, so we're not like some people who have everything attached to their card.

Oh, yeah, that's good, because I am, and that's why I'll just never cancel it. It's such a pain. It is. Ellie, thank you so much. Kathy, who did you have trouble breaking up with? Well, I joined, like, an F4545 and I was there for like four years. And I loved it.

And I loved the people and everything like that. And then a BFT opened up up the road. What's that? A BFT? Is that like an F45? What is a BFT? A Big Friendly Tiger. Yeah.

I was going to say, I'm familiar with BFG, the Roald Dahl book. Fantastic book. Beautiful female training. Or a BLT. No, that's the BFG. Oh, yeah. Bacon, lettuce, tomato. Yeah.

Bacon, feta, tomato. Oh. Yeah. Yum. Salty. Yeah. Salty. Oh, no.

So I joined it just because I was like, wow, I'll go and have a look because it's a pre-opening special and you get the good rate and everything if you join up early. And then it opened and I was still at F45 and there was a mass exit. There was like three of us left in the class. Oh, no. Giving us presents and saying thanks for being so loyal to us and everything like that. Oh, no. So, oh.

She did it to us. We got bonbons. She's probably gone to another radio station just like she turned her back on F45. Oh, my gosh. She's just a known traitor. No word of a fair way. Who's going to give her a present?

That traitor is a bitch. Oh, my gosh. I was just lining up the perfect time joke of, I guess, the F45 class is now an F42 class. See, that's so funny. It would have been great. She would have loved that. And I had it all teed up.

I was just waiting for a break. Yeah, she would have loved that. And I was going to pounce in with it. She would have loved that. Get that edge. Yeah, I heard a bong. I think there must have been a phone issue there. We'll go to some text messages.

She's a quitter. Wow. No, she's back.'s back she's back why'd you leave us kathy i have no idea what happened we know your type you're buggering off to the other radio station like you did on f45 they were on the other line more if you were on the other line do your joke now because three of you left F45, didn't you? Well, no. Go, go. So, no, I can't now.

But then they do the Instagram thing. They do the Instagram things at the gym and then, of course, F45 saw me on the... Oh, no! You're counted

as the traitorous bitch you are! You were caught. Oh, no. Sweet, sweet. Kathy. Wait, so did they say something to you? Were they like, excuse me? You were caught. Oh, no. Sweet, sweet. Kathy. Wait, so did they say something to you? Were they like, excuse me?

Yeah, I was just trying it out. I didn't really like it. My ass is just doing its thing. And then you're like, never putting on the gram. Oh, that's awkward. Wait, so did you go back to F45? No, I had to break up with them. Yeah.

Yeah, and you and those two other people, I guess now it's just F42. Don't laugh at that, Cathy. The delivery was terrible. Sorry, it wasn't in the first time. Terrible joke. It wouldn't have happened if the bing bong hadn't happened earlier in the piece. I would have nailed it.

Thanks for laughing, but no. The timing was off. The message is in. People from uni, I spent like four years with them, but I can't stay friends with all 120 of these people. Oh my God, I literally just was on Facebook. I saw someone and I was like, who's that?

And I was like, oh, I'll just get rid of you now. Get rid of them. Uni, we don't need you. Cut them loose. I have trouble breaking up with my job. The week I was literally going in, I said I need to have a chat. I went in and before I could get to the fact

I wanted to leave, they gave me a pay rise. I was like, oh God, I just want to go. I just want to go. Wait, could you accept that pay rise and then, like, leave a little bit later and your holiday pay would be worth more? Paid out? Yeah. Yeah, but how much?

Yeah, not much. How much? $40 extra dollars is sort of hardly worth it. Somebody said, it's LinkedIn for me. I did one paid ad for staff for work, and then it kept taking payments off my work visa, and I could not for the life of me find any way to stop it. Couldn't even remove the credit card details from the file so I just shut down the entire

LinkedIn account. Oh jeez. I went on someone's LinkedIn the other day and then they messaged me saying, perusing my LinkedIn are you? Oh, can they see? They've got premium. Yeah, they can see. When you've got premium LinkedIn, you can see who's looking at your LinkedIn account. Perusing my LinkedIn, how embarrassing.

Can you stop being a pest on me? I was being a pest. Embarrassing. I was doing some recon. I was being a spy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So you know that we got heavily involved in the naming of the Hawke's Bay new fire engine.

Yeah. Dame Judy Drench. And we went down to visit. We also like to pick a bird of the year. Every year this happens at the National Aquarium of New Zealand, which is in Napier. And I've actually met some of these penguins before when I had a job on TV. Penguins are pretty cute.

And these are the cutest, aren't these? All little blues? They're little blues. And they all rescue penguins and they always have a penguin of the year competition and it's based on voting and you get to learn a little bit about them. There's Betty, there's Bernie, there's Captain.

There's Dave, there's Maggie, there's Draco, there's Eric, there's Flip, there's Kaiwa, there's Martin, Moe, Mr Mac, Pepper, Pippi and Timmy. Do they have the big ones that look like they're wearing suits? The emperors. Yeah. Do they have any of those? No, they're in Antarctica.

You dumbass. Well, I don't know. It's an aquarium. These are the little blues. Get a couple and put them in a... Oh, car! No, chuck a polar bear in there from the Arctic. Why don't we?

Bernie's called Bernie because they had burns on the soles of her feet because someone lit a fire on the beach and didn't extinguish it properly and Bernie ran across it and burnt their feet. Where I grew up in Eastbourne in De Hart, shout out to De Hart and good morning to our Hart listeners. You're in Eastbourne. Don't try to make yourself sound like one of the people. It was part of the Lower Hutt City Council.

You've got Lower Hutt being like, she's one of us and whereabouts in the hut? You're like, Eastbourne. Just past Seaview. No, you just say just past Seaview. But that was always the little blues and they always had penguins crossing signs because the little blues are always around by the coast and you'd always see them running across the road and stuff.

You'd be like, watch out. I remember as a kid walking around Mount Maunganui seeing a penguin and I ran towards it. It was dead. I was very upset. And my dad put his jandal under it and flicked it into the ocean. It was dead.

I banged and then he sung Circle of Life and I cried and then he whacked me with the jandal and said, I'll give you something to cry about. Harsh childhood. Really? Harsh but fair. This actually makes a the janitor and said, I'll give you something to cry about. Right. Harsh childhood, Vaughan. Harsh childhood. Really?

Harsh but fair. This actually makes a lot of sense and it still shocks me that you clocked therapy. In one go. In one go. Voting closes Monday, 28th of October. So that's just under a week away. Are we going to get behind one Pacific penguin? Yeah, I think we should.

We should pick a Pacific penguin. Because Draco, I was clicking through them and I was like, Draco, because I'm Draco Malfoy. Immediately the name caught my attention. Harry Potter. Oh, yep. 17 years old. Reason for arrival, head injury because Draco got hit by a car crossing the road. Draco's one of our oldest penguins and won the first, won Penguin of the Year in 2019.

She came to the National Aquarium, got hit by a car. Very friendly and is often visiting other penguins in their burrows. Sometimes she forgets where she is and she may be left staring at a wall during feeding time. When her partner, Mr. Mac, comes to find her and remind her what she should be doing. Oh my god, okay.

I'm crying, you're crying. Is this who we're getting behind? But then I want to also, then I want to vote for Mr. Mac because Mr. Mac has a partner who is forgetful but goes and gets him. Mr. Mac,

abandoned chick. Mr. Mac is 15 years old and although abandoned as a chick himself is a wonderful father to Pepper. While he's a real sweetie, he sometimes thinks he's better than everyone else. Hey, don't we all? Refusing to take fish off visitors

if they're not worthy. Oh. Oh my God. I know. Oh, he won. He won last. He won in 2023. Right.

So he needs, you know, we need to share it around a bit. Yeah, share it around. Good work though, Mr. Mac. So are we on board with Draco? Is Draco our pick? Draco has won before.

I'm wondering if there's one that hasn't won with a good story. Pepper's captive won. Peppers captive war. These are so cute. Is there any gay penguins? Maggie was an abandoned chick. Maggie is a year old. Stop trying to push your gay penguin agenda.

Oh, my God. All penguins are a little bit gay. It's not your rainbow month now, mate. It's English speaking penguins. Maggie's very social She was an abandoned chick Was hand raised by the team at the National Aquarium Settled in a well

Loved swimming in the pool Always chatting to the other penguins Timmy got hit by a boat Timmy got hit by a boat A spinal injury from a boat strike He's had chiropractic work Sorry But I'm just imagining those videos

Breathing in And that penguin's like It's gotta be Timmy then Oh no he went into 2018 Sorry, but I'm just imagining those videos. Breathing in. It's got to be Timmy then. Oh, no, he won in 2018. Oh, my God, they've all won. Anyway, who's the Bernie? We're going Bernie.

Burned fate. Oh, let me check if Bernie's won before. We could totally get behind Bernie. Well, you can vote. I don't see Bernie. You can vote. You can go on nationalaquarium.co.nz or go and visit them because I visited them before I got to go in. They're very cute

and then you can choose who you're going to get behind. We'll brainstorm who we're going to get behind. The penguin of the year. Bernie's got a boyfriend, long time boyfriend, Martin, but she'll ditch him to spend more time with the girl. She's... Okay, I like her.

We've got to hope. Yeah, I like this. I like this. Bernie it is. Play ZM's Fletch, Juan and Hayley. Juan, just every morning, Fletcher gives us our little slice of apple. We really enjoy it. This is a shit apple today, by the way.

And you eat it before, you eat it during the song, not before we start talking. You just rammed it in your gob. I'm confused. I thought we ate it during talking and didn't eat it during the song. You are such a brat. So are we eating them or are we not? So this morning we were planning the show

and there's been a study out of America which we were discussing that the more toys you give toddlers, the worse it is for them. Surprise, surprise. Spoilt children and shitbags. Do we need a study? I could have told you that.

So they have a better quality of play. They studied, they looked at a whole bunch of toddlers. They gave them either four toys or sixteen toys. And they watched them play over various sessions and they found that toddlers with four

toys had greater quality of play. Of course. Yeah. Whereas and they interacted with their toys more, whereas the kids with sixteen toys were just all over the show. Because they wanted to move on to the next one. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

And then we were talking about this, and then Hayley was like, well, I didn't get a pony. My dad wouldn't give me a pony. We said we should talk about the toys you always wanted that we didn't get, and Hayley's like, I can't relate. I can't relate at all. I can't relate at all. I got everything I ever wanted.

Daddy, I want the Barbie Fawn Funhouse. Well, my darling, you shall have it. Daddy's gone away for a business trip for a week and he's coming back with four Barbies. I want a golden goose for Easter. But the one thing I always said to my dad was that I wanted a pony. Now, I was not a horse rider. I was not involved in horse riding.

You didn't live anywhere with land? I didn't live anywhere with land. I have no idea about the upkeep of a horse. You can't ride a horse in Lower Hutt. Yeah, and I genuinely said to him, I want a horse. And he said, one day, my darling, the upkeep of a horse. You can't ride a horse in lower half. Yeah. And I genuinely said to him, I want a horse. And he said, one day, my darling, I will buy you a horse. Hasn't happened. I am 35.

He is 63. We're still waiting for this horse. And it has not happened. And now that I'm an adult, I'm aware. I wouldn't have been able to handle a horse. You've got no interest now in riding a horse. No, but if my dad bought me a horse, it. You've got no interest now in riding a horse. No, but if my dad bought me a horse,

it'd be nice. You'd have to keep it at the, you'd have to be one of those people that keeps it at the pony club. We've got a little bit

back here. Yeah, if you had a minute, if he bought you a miniature horse, that'd be pretty great. Oh, if daddy bought me a miniature pony, I'd be so happy,

daddy. Daddy, I've decided I'm going to call him my favourite. He said, will you buy me a horse? Hi, what a minute's your pay, damn it.

Yeah. But there's always like there were so many things that were like not even just toys like things you really really wanted when you were a kid that you didn't get

and you still think about them starter jacket oh yeah you never got one I talked about my one starter jacket and one of our American listeners

sent me a vintage Charlotte Ball starter jacket every time I sit in my wardrobe it makes me vintage Charlotte Starter jacket. Every time I see it in my wardrobe, it makes me happy. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Every time I see it. Even like just this week and gone, I was shipping some stuff around

and I saw it. It's hanging. Of course. Keep it in the best condition. Knowing what this was like, but you kind of can see things, but you couldn't afford them. So you went without them. Okay.

We weren't that rich. And you'd say to your mom, like, please. And she'd be like, no. I had two working parents that sent me to a fancy school. A private school. Do you know what mine was? Was like, I always wanted a crop top in the 90s. When I was like nine and 10 years old,

I always wanted a crop top and I wanted to wear it out and about. And my mum was like, absolutely not. You look like a hooch. And I was like, hooch. You look like a hoochie mama. A little hoochie mama, but the spy schools were all wearing crop tops. And my mum was like, absolutely hoochie you look like a hoochie mama a little hoochie mama but the Spice Girls

were all wearing crop tops and my mum was like absolutely not you're our child well that's all we wanted to ask this morning growing up what is it that you

always wanted but you could never have Castle Grayskull yes when I was a kid Castle Grayskull or like any kind of we never had G.I. Joe's

I think we had we had G.I. Joe's one birthday I got the jet the G.I. Joe jet and my brother got the snow cat and's. One birthday I got the jet, the G.I. Joe jet, and my brother got the snow cat. And then we were like, well, this is obviously the start of great things. Now we're building our G.I. Joe base.

And then that was the end of we never got any more G.I. Joe's. But, I mean, I look back now and I'm like, we had a lot. Yeah. We very rarely went without. My parents wouldn't buy me a $300 jacket because it was ridiculous and I would have ruined it. Oh, boo-hoo, teenage war. But I love the Oakland Raiders.

I didn't even know who they were. I just knew you, that was the one bet. Everybody had one. Everybody had one. Okay, so 0800-DARLS-IT-EM, we want to take your calls now. Text through 9696. We're getting some already. I just love the wording of this.

No Barbies. Muriel, who is mumies Muriel Who was mum Muriel thought it was Regressive body aspiration It is I begged for years No Barbie Never had a Barbie

It was regressive Did they get like a Knock off Barbie No no because No it was about the body standard Cindy was also skinny She probably had a nice Fat little chubby baby doll

Yeah Because that's realistic You know Fat little baby. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. Give us a call. We'd text through 9696. Growing up, what was the thing you always wanted

but you were never allowed to have? Oh, there is some nostalgia hitting the text machine. And maybe when you became an adult, you got it. You got it. She did. She got a fat baby doll because it was realistic. We're talking about the toys or the things that you always wanted as a kid

But you could never have And maybe as an adult you bought them Because I know we talked to Ed Sheeran about this Because when he became rich and famous He got all the toys Yeah, he just bought all the toys he'd never had Yeah, why not? You've got all that money

What we're finding is people won't just settle for one This text literally hot off the press Air Jordan shoes in the 90s. I think I got PTSD from it because now I have 12 pairs. Yeah. It's your own adult money, isn't it? I know. I wanted snap pants. Oh my god,

same! Mel C had snap pants. Mum said that's what strippers wore so absolutely not. It's just easier to get them off, isn't it? Yeah, well that's why it works so well for strippers. Stella,

if I was a stripper I'd go as long as possible. That's all about the tees. It's literally a strip tees. You don't want to be pulling the pants off too quick. Also don't wear track pants as a stripper.

Slowly take them down. You know what I mean? Get dressed up. It's not sexy, is it? Stella, what did you always want as a kid

but you couldn't have? I always wanted a Tamagotchi. Oh, yeah, I had one of those. That was so cool. Yeah, I wasn't allowed, but my parents said it would distract me from school. So I got one when I was like 15, 16 years old, though. And did it your own money or did they buy it for you? No, it was my own money still.

Right, and was it worth it in the end? Nope. Oh, definitely. Yeah, it was. That was fun. And it was like, made a comeback. Haven't they made a comeback in the last few years? Yeah, we got C1A.

I had one for a bit. Yeah. Stella, thank you. Matt, what did you always want as a kid, but could never have? Always, always wanted a quad bike, you know, just when I was an intermediate. Always wanted a quad bike. I was obsessed when I was an intermediate. So my parents

promised me... Boo hoo, Matt didn't get a multi-thousand dollar motorbike. Wait, hang on, your parents promised you. Yeah, it's tough out there. So they promised me if I got 10 out of 10 for my homework for the whole year that they would buy me a quad bike. Which was completely stupid because we lived in the

middle of suburbia and I had nowhere to ride it. Wait, I thought you were going to say you lived on a farm. Yeah. So did you work really hard at school? I did. So all through the year, except the last couple of weeks,

we changed teacher in my classroom and he gave me an eight out of 10. No quad bike. So when I left school, I egged his car. You egged his car. Matthew. And did you ever get a quad bike. So when I left school, I egged his car. You egged his car. Matthew. Matthew.

And did you ever get a quad bike? I currently have a quad bike and live on a lost file block. Yeah. There he is. He's living his dreams. Dreams come true. Dreams come true, Matt. It just took a little bit longer.

Yeah. It did. It did. It was just a bad commitment by my parents. I think they really overcommitted on that one. Yeah, we live on a 400 square metre section. Yeah, we'll get my quad bike. Quad bike sounds perfect for our son with nowhere to ride at.

Matt, thank you. Some messages in. I was never allowed girls. I'm 23 now and I still can't get girls to stay the night. That's okay, dude. Just cook them a nice meal. Always want to, you know, Converse shoes have come up a couple of times on the text. Really?

Always wanted Converse shoes today. I finally convinced my parents to get me some, the box came with two left feet and returned them because they had no right feet, so I never ended up getting my Converse. And someone else said, I want a Converse, and my mum said I wasn't allowed it because it's what American thugs wore. Oh, I thought it would have been because they were so orthopedically bad. Yeah, not great for kids running around.

Yeah. Yeah. Always, not great for kids running around. Yeah. Yeah. Always, no Barbie's hair either. But I do have horses, several untrained, terribly behaved horses. Okay, well don't show off because I've got no horses still. I hope Craig's listening. I always wanted Sylvanian families. Oh my God, I loved them.

But they were so expensive. Yeah. I buy them now for my daughter. She's not interested. This is a great thing about a parent. The best toys are the ones you buy for your kids that aren't interested because now they're your toys. Because it's actually just for you. Yeah.

I want a little sister. My parents tried, but I got three little brothers. Ew. After having three boys of my own, I finally got my girl. Oh. She was really on a campaign there. Yeah. You broke the curse. To get the girl.

Always wanted a care bear. Dad went to Japan and bought me back this pink thing and said, that's what the Japanese on a campaign there. Yeah. You broke the curse. To get the girl. Always wanted a care bear. Dad went to Japan and bought me back this pink thing and said, that's what the Japanese call a care bear. I was like, no. Oh, it's like my dad, when I, he bought, my dad went to, I think it was China, and he went to the markets and he bought me a Spice Girl, you know, the Spice Girl Barbies. Yeah.

And it was Jerry, but it was a Chinese sort of like off-market one and she looked like a drag queen. Her foundation was too dark. It was all weird. Oh, really? Yeah, I loved that thing. Yeah. And it was Jerry, but it was a Chinese sort of like off-market one and she looked like a drag queen. Her foundation was too dark. It was all weird. Oh, really? Yeah, I loved that thing. Yeah. What's a bubble skirt, Hayley?

Do you know what a bubble skirt is? I was wearing one the other day. You know the one that looked, and I said it looked like little pantaloons. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Knickerbockers. I always wanted a bubble skirt as a kid. I was never allowed. This season, bubble skirts are in apparently.

They're back. Yeah, that's why I was wearing one the other day. So many women have commented, oh, I had one of those as a kid. I was never allowed this season. Bubble skirts are in apparently. They're back. That's why I was wearing one the other day. So many women have commented, oh, I had one of those as a kid. I love those. Yeah, they were so fun. The original pulp shoes that were basically giant Spice Girls style platform shoes in silver.

Mum said you are absolutely going to break an ankle on those. You're not having them. Aw. All the Voltron cats to make the full Voltron. Here's the thing about the Voltron. What's a Voltron? Voltron was this cartoon and it was 100% to sell toys. And there were five cats.

And it was like Captain Planet when shit got too much, they combined into one giant robot. Except the idea when you got one Voltron. Wait, were they robot cats? Yeah, they were robot cats driven by pilots. Right. But the idea was. They look like Transformers.

You got a green Voltron and a red Voltron, but they were all different parts of the body. But when you only got one... It's just a useless cat robot. Because this person said my Voltron cat would transfer him from a cat into the left arm. You need all of them. The left arm was the shield arm.

It wasn't even the sword arm. That's how they get you. Which is a bit stink. I wanted Adidas three-stripe pants. Mum said no, and she made me get two-stripe pants. I think we had four-stripe or some imitation. I wanted the stirrups.

Yeah. Okay, with Adidas stirrups. One pair of those got teased about it, never wore them again. Stirrups! Because they were for the ladies. Always. Were they?

Yeah, the stirrups were for the ladies. They were like leggings. That makes sense. You didn't have a pair of Adidas track pants. You had a pair of leggings, my friend. I had a pair of leggings and I got the legs for it. I always wanted Heelys. This is another one.

A lot of people said Heelys, which were a shoe with a wheel on the back. Never got them until I was 25. Because I realised if you import them from overseas, you can buy them in adult size. If you went for a walk with me, I left you in the dust. They actually run... I think 25 is too old for Heelys. I think it's too old for Heelys. Yeah, you get reported

if you Heely pass a school when you're 25. Yeah, embarrassing. Hello, please? Yes. At all on Heelys. Please come immediately. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Heely. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Heely. Just before... Yuck. Just before we do it back to the day,

we were talking about what you always wanted but you could never have as a kid. We'd wrapped it up. Then this one came out and I was like, reopen the chest because this might be the text of the entire phone-in situation. Okay. I always wanted a strawberry shortcake doll

where you squeeze the stomach and it smelled like strawberries. Oh, yeah, I remember those. Remember strawberry shortcake? I can literally smell it right now. I'm pretty sure my sister had a soft strawberry shortcake doll and she smelled like strawberry.

I feel like that also must have been some kind of forever chemical, right? Yeah, I know. We can literally all smell it now. Yeah, and it's like scratch and sniff. Yeah. I scratched it and I scratched it and it still smelled. It still stinks.

Why are you still smelling? We're talking about the scratch and sniff still, right? Well, ah. Ah. What are you, a sticker or something? Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. So, I want a strawberry shortcake dough where you squeeze the stomach

and it'll smell like strawberry. My nana went to the Potidua Flea Market, bought this ugly secondhand dough, drilled a hole in its mouth, put a couple of drops of strawberry essence in there, and said, squeeze that stomach and get lost.

Oh, Nanny! Nanny! Nanny! It's so good. Alright, it's time for Fact of the Day! Day, day, day, day. It's car week at Fact of the Day.

Damien sent me in this one. G'day, Damien. G'day, Damien. And he said you could probably work a little bit of Land Rover chat into this. Oh, yeah. I said, not impossible. That's my specialty. Did you know at once upon a time in New Zealand,

it was very hard to buy a brand new car? Oh, okay. So the idea- But didn't we make cars here? So, no. We assembled cars here. Oh, okay. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. So when cars kind of got invented, the government introduced a 20% tariff, which is an import tax on cars, and then that gets passed on to the consumer, and then they take a little bit of a cut because obviously if you're importing a car, local coach builders and car assemblers

aren't getting that business. Yeah. So that's the idea of tariffs, right? Yeah. During the First World War, it was taken down to 10%. And then from 1924 on, they were imported assembled rather than unassembled. But then in the 30s, it increased again. So if it arrived unassembled, the tariff was 5%.

If it arrived assembled, it was 15%. What if you just left off one wheel? Yeah, technically, so that's unassembled. And then some assembly required on the box. Like a loophole. You literally just put something on and you're like, finding something wrong. That was easy.

I don't feel like that even qualifies as some assembly required. So that was just for British cars because, of course, of our ties to the Brits. But if it was coming from anywhere else in Europe or America, it was 50% tariff on unassembled and 60% for assembled. Wow. So basically to get, it became quite like an exclusive club to be in. To get a new car because of the tariffs.

Because the tariffs were so high. So you held on to cars a lot longer. Even on unassembled ones that came here and were assembled. It was, you know, they wouldn't bring the parts in unless they knew they could sell them. How, when, what years was this? What years was this? So this was reintroduced in the 1930s.

And then New Zealand car assembly, like, there's lots of, like, my Land Rover that I inherited from my granddad was made in New Zealand, assembled in New Zealand. It's a New Zealand, and that was the case with it all around the world. They just flat pack, like Ikea for Land Rovers. Yeah, right. And they'd ship it around the world

and everywhere local would put a little bit of a local spin on it. Like Land Rovers in Spain and Portugal and stuff are called Santanas. Named after legendary guitar. Carlos Santana. Not at all. But so they put their own little local spin on it to get around these tariffs of just importing other cars guitar, Carlos Santana. Carlos Santana. Not at all. But,

so they put their own little local spin on it to get around these tariffs of just importing other cars and facing the massive tariffs. So if you wanted a brand new car from overseas, you had to pretty much go on a waiting list. Oh. And then they'd send it over. So what were they doing?

Just walking around? Horses? Lots of horses, lots of carriages, locally assembled ones, but then that also had a tariff attached, so second-hand cars, and then people just held on to them. And that's why people knew how to fix their cars.

Yeah, we just shut them away these days. Yeah, because if you open a manual in a modern car, it's like, make sure your tyres have got air in them. And you're like, thanks, manual. And I've got this old manual for my old Land Rover, and it's like, if you need to adjust the crank timing, da-da-da, and I'm like, I'm not touching that.

Rob! Rob! Absolutely not. Yeah. Get it sorted. So today's fact of the day is once upon a time to buy a brand new car in New Zealand, it was a very challenging and very expensive task. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day.

On Friday, just after lunch, I was contacted by somebody I haven't seen in person since 1998 asking me if I would do a trade me pick up for them because they'd purchased a tool bag in West Auckland and that person wanted to charge them 52 bucks for postage, which they considered daylight robbery. Yeah. But they'd made the purchase. But that's how much postage is now for big things. I don't know, man.

Yes, it is. People were messaging in being like, no, they said I sent a lot of stuff and that's ridiculous for an empty tool bag. It was full of tools and it was on weight 100%. Oh, yeah, yeah, man. Yes, it is. People were messaging in being like, no, they said I send a lot of stuff and that's ridiculous for an empty tool bag. It was full of tools and it was on weight 100%. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's empty. So you'd last saw this guy when you left high school. But he also said, don't forget that he said that he would try to figure something out and could you store it in the meantime.

Until we figured it out. Yeah. So we talked about it and he's like, I just, after we talked about it, he said, my wife messaged me telling that I'm being cheap and she's embarrassed. Yeah. She's embarrassed about this whole thing. Okay. Yeah. I said, well, I don't think I've ever said any names.

Did I? No. So you could totally, if anyone ever asks, just say it's something else. Someone else. And he said, but she knows it's me. And I was like, ah, well. And then I i said send me through the address yeah because like why not great bit of content right and i thought we could probably get another bit out of it okay here's the second bit so you oh god i said uh i said send me the address and he said you sure you want the address i said yep tell me the address and the

pickup details he said okay here's the address and anytime after four. Okay. And I said, what, today? Four doesn't work for you. Today. And he's like, is that doable? I said, ah, look, I'm going to go to Mitre 10 anyway, so it's easy. I'm kind of on the way.

Does he know what after four in Auckland means? Yeah. On the road? No, he doesn't. Like a lot of traffic. A lot of traffic. He said, you're a champion, you're possessive, not you are compressed. Anyway, that's just me.

Wow, this bitch. I was going to go roasting. What a cow. At the end of the road where I arrived to pick it up, I was like, this is where we stayed. This is the area of Auckland where we stayed when we were renovating our last house and we just couldn't live in it. So we took the kids

and we rented a spot. Very interesting neighbourhood. Things such as, you know. Wasn't there a dumbbell homicide? Up the road there was. Yeah, yeah. There's been multiple. It's always when it's like, oh, this bad thing's happened in Auckland. Yep. It's that. Another meth lab exploding.

Yep. That sort of thing. We love an exploding meth lab up here. So I pulled into the street and I was like, here we are. West Auckland's Baghdad, circa 1990. Yeah, great. So I put on Fortunate Son and I was like, and to the war zone.

I go down that thing and I'm looking for the numbers This I without a word of like The numbering on the street Makes no sense Oh gosh No sense Oh god you lost already

I'm familiar with how it works right Odds on one side Evens on the other No it's not that My street's like that It's all up the Wazoo Sporadic

Yeah But you live on a very old street Yeah but it's not Things must have changed In the postage. Ours is sporadic too. This is... I reckon...

One, three, five, nine. There isn't a seven. There isn't a seven. No, and then the one on the corner, which you think would be two, that's six. Is it the... Where's two and four?

I don't know. They need to start again when it's like that. They need to stay fresh. It tells me they're a road move. Yeah. At some stage. Well, I'm not changing. So anyway,

I'm going down the street and it's hard enough because they've got one lane completely blocked off because I think they're putting in like fiber or something. Is regret seeping in already at this point? I know because I'm laughing. I'm like, this is so funny. Like what a stupid situation I find myself in. Here you are possibly about to die picking

up something from someone you haven't seen since high school. And so I'm like, find the number, pull into the driveway. Yeah. Now there's two houses with two distinct entrances, but no identification as to which is which. No A and B. Oh God, okay. So I walk up and in the middle of the driveway is what I would describe as one of the mankiest cats I've ever seen. Manki like skinny feral or manki as in like?

Tiny. And I was like Are you a kitten I'm talking to the cat So why not I'm like Are you a kitten But then it had Just this look in its eyes

It's like I've seen some shit Take me Yeah kill me Yeah yeah yeah I've seen it all Yeah yeah I was like

Hello puss Expecting like Like high pitch from a kitten And it was like Mow Mow man I was like Which one's I

Which one's Beer There's no So I went up to one And I looked over the fence And there was a dog I was like I Mo. Mo, man. I was like, which one's A? Beer. There's no A. So I went up to one and I looked over the fence and there was a dog. I was like,

I'm not going in that one. So I went around the other one and I knocked on the door. Remember I was told after four. Yeah, after four. After four. I just, I cannot stop

on the after four thing. In Auckland. It's wild, eh? It's wild. Like you're doing someone a favour. They don't ask you when's a good time. In between school pick up and peak hour traffic.

Yeah. So I knock on the door. Nothing. Oh, yeah. Curtains are drawn. Do we have a phone number? Do we have a contact? No, I don't have it.

I've just got the address and asked the floor. Okay. So I knock on the door. Oh, no. You've got to have a contact. Nothing. Knock again. Can't hear anything. But I feel the the door. Oh, no, you've got to have a contact. Nothing. Knock again. Can't hear anything.

But I feel the deck vibrating. Oh, yeah. I'm standing on the deck outside and I feel like, you know, in Jurassic Park when the dinosaur starts coming and they can't hear it and they just see the little glass and I can feel it up through my feet. I'm like. There's life inside.

There is life inside. Okay. And it was, then I started hearing the, and the door opens, this woman looks at me, I'm the most unexpected thing in the world. I said, hello, I'm here to pick up a tool bag for a friend. Because I'm not going to run her through the whole process. Friend from the 1990s, yeah. Friend from the 1990s.

The 1990s. Yeah. She doesn't need the whole story. Yeah. And she looks at me and she's like, oh yes, it's here somewhere. Oh great, right house, right house. Yeah, I've got the right house. Okay. It's looks at me and she's like, oh, yes, it's here somewhere. Oh, great. Right house. Right house. Yeah, I've got the right house.

It's here somewhere. And I was like, oh, okay. Did you ask about the cat? Nope. Is that cat all right? Yeah. Do you need me to take that? Cat somewhere?

I live on a large property. PCCA? Hole in the ground. Yeah. And she's like, it's here somewhere. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then she just stands at the door looking outside. I'm like, oh, is it outside? And she's outside and she's like no okay oh for god's sake is it inside and she said yes yeah and i said i'll just don't go inside i'll just wait here and she's like yes and then pop then

love out of nowhere a second character of the story appears. Oh. Behind her, a man. And he's like, out the way. And his arm just jolts out with the bag. He's like, that's it. Bye. Shuts the door. Oh. And I'm looking at it.

And here it is for your eyes to behold. Oh, my God, have you brought it? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, I think. Oh, my God. I think he shoved it in my hand. It's got dirt on it.

He shoved it in my hand and turned away because he didn't want me to be like, oh, wait, that's not as advertised. That is so rough. It's dirty. What are those white stains? That can be cleaned. That's, I think, dirt from the work site. No, what?

No, don't touch it. Do you hear yourself? That can be cleaned. You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna get the Bissell on it. You're gonna start cleaning this thing for this guy. You don't even know it! No, I'm not, because you've got the Bissell. How much did he pay for it? Because I haven't asked. So then I sent him a picture. The story's not done.

That is not worth buying second hand. That is too rough rough I can see why I sent you a picture Fletch And I googled the bag You googled how much they cost They're quite expensive brand new They're Milwaukee tool bags

They're $200 Yeah but that isn't such bad knack Yeah I said Also is it stolen? I said that gave me a bit of a vibe So he just said here buy Yeah

So I've set off the bell. I was like, is the bell making that noise? So I sent a video and he's like, oh God, it's in way worse condition than his photo showed. My wife's going to kill me. Oh God. And then I'm like, ha ha ha. Well, it's funny anyway.

So he said, this is the next. Now's the fun part. We fly up to Tauranga this weekend for girls basketball. One team is flying into Auckland and driving down from Auckland. God save. So either get them to pick it up or I can drive up from Tauranga. I said, stop. I will send this from work.

Wait, he doesn't want to pay $50 postage, but he'll spend $50 in gas. $50 in gas? It's a three and a half hour drive. No way. No way. So I said, stop. Dude.

I'm going to cut out me having a meet up with someone or have a stranger come into my house or go to some weird meeting point between my house and the airport to meet a Christchurch-based basketball team. I'll be waiting. I will send it from work. And not pay for it. And he said, thanks.

Westies, huh? That's what he said. You're a Westie. So now he's just insulted you after you've done a generous thing. I honestly think that is too funny. I have zero regrets in doing it because I've laughed every step of the way.

It's not asking much is it? It has been fun and silly and funny. A Christchurch team is flying up. They're going to land in Auckland and then drive down to Tauranga for a basketball tournament. Yeah, right.

I just can't. Honestly, I just cannot. So now, look at us. I pass the baton to Carwin. Carwin. That's not his job. I'm not doing that. Oh, should I find out where he's staying in Tauranga or are we career in there?

I'm going to, we'll make it worse. I'm going to the Coromandel on Friday. Yes! Now that's bringing me a step closer to Tauranga. Tell me more! I could drop off at one of those side of the road cafes. You could meet me there. You shouldn't be touching that. I don't want to get involved.

That is so dirty. Yeah, definitely. Oh, it's got one of those old school 90s Superman S's written in it. Whose was this? Oh, my God. It does. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So this, I kept seeing this on Oh no

Hang on I was just messaging someone Important And it's sending a voice It's doing that Text to thing Well press stop Where's the text?

Stop Anyway That's gonna get you in trouble one day Don't That sent a chill down my spine It's like whenever I start talking about somebody, I always look at my phone to make sure it's not dialing them. You're not calling them.

Yeah, and when I begin talking and I'm like, we are in the safe zone. Yes. Anyway, this has popped up a lot on my phone and it looks so much fun. It's called Cardio Drumming and it's aimed at elderly because it's got a low impact and they get these big sticks or like,

but you remember like Rako, like when we had the tied up magazines? Yeah. You used to do that at school? Yes. You get those tied up magazines and you get Swiss balls and you all stand behind and someone's at the front and you drum and you go boing, boing, boing on the Swiss balls.

And this is the new fitness craze. Cardio drumming. Right. It's the drumsticks and exercise ball and low impact workouts. And look, everyone, they put the Swiss ball in a bucket so it doesn't move. And then you whack it with some drumsticks. That's fun. And they're just banging along and dancing along.

Look, there's nanny, nanny smack ball. Big for the seniors. Big for the seniors. And probably like the little wee kids. Look. I don't know if you're A sort of average 30 something That's going to get

Their workout No I don't think That's going to be A new craze And start new gym chains And I think Because I've been

I struggle with cardio I hate cardio Yeah I think this is what I need I'm going to talk to my trainer Because she's been going Like more cardio hon And I was like

What if I go home Because I've got In my garage a Swiss ball a bucket and drumsticks pretty good for a vent too if you've got a

you know a bit of anger to get out you're just like I'd probably stab it though do you know what I mean I'd probably be like but if you were looking

how much range is in there that really came out if you were looking for low impact exercise this is it. Cardio drumming. Get a bucket, stick

a Swiss ball on it, get some sticks or some rolled up magazines and whack that thing to music. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listener. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it.

So drop us a review and tell your friends that's how podcasts work play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley