ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 23rd August 2023

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Eco Anxiety  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Traitorous Moves  Hayleys Mum  Project Swiftie  5 Arguments  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. You up the whas? Up the whas this Friday. I mean, it almost goes without saying, up the whas.

It goes without saying. It's important to remind everybody. I said to my wife last night, look, if the Warriors get a home semi-final, I might buy tickets and go. And she said, why? You'd like it way better at home. I said, great point. I'm staying at home. That was my, I got talked out of it.

The one time I've actually wanted to leave the house and look how easily I was talked out of it. I actually prefer, basketball's great live, but every other sport. Because the court's so small. The court's small, you get a good view. I mean, unless you're in America and you've got nosebleed seats. Yeah. But then there's massive screens everywhere.

Everything else, like cricket rugby, you get like the action replays and you can see it better. Yeah. Yeah, and I do bloody love chucking on the

alternative, the ACC. Yeah. Which is like Sky Sport 9 or whatever. It changes a bit. Changes. Funny commentary. Whoever's got a free

channel at the time, they'll jump on there. Yeah, it's great stuff. And then you get their commentary at home. Yeah, no, absolutely not going. Top six coming up. Speaking sports, quite the headlines yesterday. Yes.

Steve Hansen's been hanging out with the Australians before the Rugby World Cup. The ex-All Blacks coach who led us to a World Cup victory. Yeah, so he's kind of clarified since all these headlines that he's just helping out for like four days. He's not being paid.

He was more of an observer. He wanted to see how it was done and he's mates with Eddie Jones and he said, if you've got any tips. Eddie Jones got a face

on him, eh? People weren't happy. People weren't happy. No, I know. Even Chippy said we're going to revoke his citizenship. And then immediately it was like, I'm joking, I'm joking, please. I can't lose any more points in an election year. I know, you poos.

So I've got the top six most traitorous moves in New Zealand history. Following on from this. The first Taylor Swift song today coming up at 8 o'clock. The song that you need to remember to win those tickets to see her live in Sydney. I also think after that I'm being given a new task for Project Swifty, Hayley's version. On your journey to become a Swifty. Yeah. Next on the show, though, it's just wrapped up, hasn't it?

No, one more week to go. One more week. Edinburgh Fringe, biggest festival in the world. Wait, they bring out the best joke of the festival, but it's still going. Yeah, the show's the same for the whole month, right? So you play the whole month, the show doesn't change. So every year they announce the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Have you ever done this festival?

I have done this festival. I didn't get a funny joke. I did a really serious one-woman play. No, I didn't. It was a comedy but one of the toughest festivals ever. Because it's not all

comedy right? Nope. It's just theatre, circus, music, comedy. But comedy is like Edinburgh Fringes. So Vaughan could go

along and do his sock puppets. He sure could. He could do his sock puppets. That'd be nice. It'd teach kids about death.

It's quite dramatic yeah I was going to say it looks into the darker side of life the sock puppets but That'd be nice. They teach kids about death. It's quite dramatic, yeah, I was going to say. It looks into the darker side of life, the sock puppets, but it's easier to digest because it's coming from a hand in a sock with some boogly eyes going on. I'm going to run through some of the funniest jokes from Edinburgh Fringe, including the number one spot. Are they funny?

They are funny. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So Edinburgh Fringe, massive festival. There were this year, I think, 3,500, 3,535 shows. Wow. Like different, all different no's. All different genres.

Really? Okay. Goodness me. Held across 248 venues at the annual Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I did it literally in 2014. It was so long ago. And I came back and I don't think I've ever been able to face doing it again. It was so hard.

And it's like, you've got to think your show against 3,500 others. Yeah. And you've somehow got to get the attention of, I think my room housed 40. You've got to get 40 people to come along each night. And the way you do that is flyering all day long and doing these pop-up performances. It's exhausting. It's exhausting.

I've heard that, yeah, handing out the flyers, you're just out and like, come to my show. And they're just sitting there. They're just like, I'd rather eat my own. So the locals in Edinburgh, this is like their time of the year. They're like, let's see what shows we'll go to. No, the locals go. The locals leave because the city gets bombarded.

Like you can barely walk down the street in Edinburgh in August because the tattoo's on at the same time, which brings 9,000 people a night to the Royal Mile. Yeah. Three times. And then the Fringe Festival brings thousands of people. So most locals get out. Get out of there, yeah, right. Rent their houses out to all the Royal Mile. Yeah. Done it three times. Yeah. And then the Fringe Festival brings thousands of people. So most locals get out.

Get out of there. Yeah, right. Rent their houses out to all the comedians. Oh, yeah. And then go to Italy. But like people flock from all over the world

to see it. And comedy is like definitely one of the biggest parts of Edinburgh Fringe. And each year they name the funniest joke. I love this. They're always like

one-liners, right? Yeah. They've got to be one-liners. It can't be like a good story. Okay. They get a bunch of, a huge panel of judges to go and see as many shows as possible. They narrow it down to 2,000 jokes. Jesus.

And then people vote on them. Nothing would be funnier than going and seeing comedy and writing down all the jokes as they're said to remember which one was your favourite. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to go, because I've got the top ten. Okay. Okay, I'll give you number six. This is by a man called Frank Lavender.

Yeah. How do celiac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag. Okay, that is pretty good. Number five by Masai Graham. I thought I'd start off with a joke about the Titanic, just to break the ice. Oh, yeah. Okay, that is pretty good. Number five by Masai Graham. I thought I'd start off with a joke about the Titanic, just to break the ice.

Oh, yep. Okay. That's the modern equivalent of how much does a polar bear weigh? Yeah. Yeah, enough to break the ice. Fawn Smith, nice to meet you. There you go. Number four was when women gossip, we get caught.

Also, the ice famously broke the Titanic. Yeah. I feel like that's something that would be in a cracker too. Well, don't pick them apart. Yeah, I've got to go on the side of fact over funny, you know. Maybe Masai Graham has a way better delivery than I do. Number four, when women gossip, we get called bitchy, but when men do, it's called a podcast.

That's pretty good. Number three, last year I had a great joke about inflation, but it's hardly worth it now. That's good. That's good. That's very clever. That's good. That's good. That's very clever. That's my Amos Gill. Brad Olsen would like that.

Yeah, that's good. I might send it to him. Number two. This is a joke by Liz Gutterbock. The second funniest joke at Fringe. Okay. The most British thing I've ever heard. A lady who said, well, I'm sorry, but I don't apologize.

I like it. Very British. And this is the number one funniest joke as voted by thousands and thousands of people by a, where is she from? I can't even, maybe Britain. Okay. Her name is Lorna Rose Treen. I started dating a zookeeper.

Turns out he was a cheater. She said she's blooming chuffed to be given this award. So the zookeeper turns out he was a cheater. Oh, Vaughn, it doesn't need explaining. You don't need to explain it. No, no, no, I get it. I'm just wondering how you would accidentally start dating a big cat. I feel like it's consciously stupid,

this joke. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's great. And if it was surrounded by intelligent jokes, a joke like this

would really make me chuckle. It would pop off. It would pop off. Yeah, it would. 12 past six. Next on the show, four in 10 of us, four out of 10 of us,

are worried about this. 40%. 40%. Private school. Yeah. Two out of ten of us are worried about this. That's 40%. 40%. Two out of five. Good maths. Thank you. There's been a big study done. This is out of the US. And people were asked, do you have eco-anxiety?

A chronic fear of environmental doom. Yep. I would say it'd be pretty hard not to have something like that in the back of your head. Like, even if you didn't scowl the news or you didn't spend a lot of time online, your life would 100%, wherever you live in the world,

have been affected in some way more and more by climate change. It feels like this year it arrived. In New Zealand, that's how I feel. I mean, not that I haven't been noticing things worldwide, but it just feels like you see it every day here. It certainly feels like it's stepping up. And I mean, the media love it because it photographs well. Oh, yeah, they love a reporter in a storm.

As horrible as that sounds. Like wildfires caused by drought and insane winds and floods and melting ice, and it all photographs very well. Oh, very much so. Oceans full of plastic. Did you see that thing that goes, that big boat that goes out at sea that's got that sieve effectively? It's like, hey, we had a record amount of plastic pulled from the ocean,

11 tonnes. Oh, bravo, bravo. It might have actually even been more. But that's not even going to touch the sides, is it? No, I know, but it photographs well. So people in the media are like, oh, look at this, and oh, and... Yeah. Well, 40% of people have eco-anxiety,

and they actually broke it into age groups as well. Oh, yeah. But when you break it into age groups, so they ask people, do you have eco-anxiety? The options were, yes, I do. Yes, I do to some extent like I don't care that much I do but I don't. Yeah I do but I

feel alright. And then there was the option of no I do not at all I don't, these are the people that don't even put anything in the recycling bin. Oh my god. Oh my god. So when it broke it down by generation did the younger end of the scale have more anxiety?

Because I think just on a whole, they probably have more anxiety. They definitely do. 18 to 24-year-olds, 18% said, yes, I do have eco-anxiety, coupled with yes, I do to some extent. Well, you're there the ones who are going to have to deal with it. Yeah, 32%. So that was, you know, half of them do and half of them don't whereas 55 plus 61 percent of them are like nah not at all far out well because i guess i'm dying soon so i don't care

yeah i suppose so i saw i was reading an article on the herald about um is is climate change a reason not to have kids not Not that I need another one. They're yuck. They're yuck. You know, they'll take all my money and my time and make my bits all loose. Yeah, blame the kids. But it was an interesting read

because that is a concern for, you know, people thinking about children. It's like, what world are we leaving them? One that's on fire. At the moment it feels like it's in tatters. Yeah, it's ablaze and it's like, what world are we leaving them? One that's on fire. At the moment, it feels like it's in tatters. Yeah, it's ablaze and it's wet and it's all sorts of things and it's melty and... We need some positive.

What is that? We can't teach them to take the high ground. Let me just see if the sheet's got any positive in it in the show. God, well, we've got silly little poll next, but terrible news after that. Terrible news imminent, Ree, frozen chips. Yeah. I'd say our nation's number one delicacy.

I'm going to say... You would say our nation's number one delicacy is frozen chips. Well, hot chips. I mean, that's a sad... Turned into hot chips. That's a sad state in itself. Hot chips are everywhere. Yeah.

But surely it's not this country's number one delicacy. I'd say it would be one of the things we hoover the most of. Yeah. Wow. Next on the show we hoover the most of. Yeah. Wow. Next on the show, those silly little polls. Yeah, that's fun. It's always fun. Today's question, today's poll.

When you get home, do you get changed? Or do you wait till you have a shower? Yesterday I sat in my like sweat-laden gym pants for ages. And then I was like, ah, yeast infection, quickly. But I wonder if it's because we took a yeast infection. I just remembered that that's what works for mine. Oh, no, micro. Play it.

CDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole.

When do you get changed in the evening? Is it when you get home from work or after a shower? Because I was returning a call to someone and they took ages to answer and they said, sorry, I was just getting changed. And I said, have you been to the gym? And they said, no. And I said, oh, you go took ages to answer and they said, sorry, I was just getting changed. And I said, have you been to the gym? And they said, no. And I said, oh, you go to the gym?

And they said, no. And I said, oh, did you get wet? And they said, no. And I was like, what? And they said, oh, yeah, I always just get changed the minute I get home. I get changed into comfy pants and a hoodie. I was like, oh, I wear those to work. Yeah, true.

So maybe that's why I don't need to get changed. I feel like we can't answer it because also our day ends much earlier and then we might go to the gym and then you get out of your gym clothes into your comfy clothes. Yeah. But when I was at high school, like, did you used to do this? My mum used to drive my mum nuts. She'd come home and we'd still just be sitting in our uniforms.

Watching TV, be like, get out of that thing, you're crinkling the blazer. And you'd be like, oh. Oh, no, that wasn't a problem with us. Just because you were getting it dirty and getting food on it. Dropping cookies and milk. And you'd already spent the day in it

probably running around and you're stinking sitting on the couch. Stink, I hadn't even thought of that. Putting your stink on the couch. Even a bit of Link's deodorant couldn't musk that smell.

I think if you, if I think. Could it not, I'm still going with that theory. I just Link's myself up. Yeah, when you walked in man, that's why the doors open.

Yeah. You've got a bit of air in here. God damn it. But you'd imagine people like tradies and construction workers or people who wear or get dirty. But then would you want to eat dinner

and then... But you don't want to be sitting at the table like that. I don't know. Or sitting on the couch in your builder's clothes. This is why we are. This is why we are.

I always think about formal wear. What are you... Think about the formal wear side of it. You get home and it's not like the most comfortable clothes. So then you chuck on your. Yeah. But you've not been doing like a physically laborious job. So you might not need to shower first.

Yeah. You could do that later just before bed. But as you say, if you came home tradie wise, you'd probably have a wash. But in a suit, you'd want to get out of that straight away. Oh, wouldn't you? No, my dad used to just take off his jacket and shoes. Really? Well, you don't want a third outfit for the day.

Business outfit, comfy outfit, gym jams. I've got my father hanging around from 5pm in his buddy. His gym jams? His gym jams. And his little shorty shorts and stuff? Little shorty shorts with the buttons and I might be able to see something through. Yeah, his little silk bugs bunny number. When do you get changed in the evening?

54% of people get changed when they get home. 46% after a shower. Okay. Alan said, I'm lazy. Straight to the glass of wine when I get home. Shower and change later in the evening. Now, you've got your priorities there, Alan, and we appreciate that. I imagine Alan's got a cask in the fridge.

Yes. Oh, my God. Open the door. Yeah. Had to rearrange the shelving so that the cask in the fridge. Yes. Oh, my God. Open the door. Yeah. Had to rearrange the shelving so that the cask can stand up right. Yes. I love that. Yeah.

Alan's got life sorted. You couldn't lie a cask down and turn the tap, eh? Because that was always halfway. At halfway, you'd have to stand it up anyway. Could you rotate the tap? Yeah, you can rotate the tap. Oh, maybe. Maybe it'd be good for the first half of the goon.

Yeah, but then you might as well have it standing up the whole time. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it'd be good for the first half of the goon. Yeah, but then you might as well have it standing up the whole time. Yeah, you may as well. Isabella said, oh, I assume she said when you get home because you don't want

to put the dirt you've accumulated on your skin from the outside onto your clean inside clothes. Yeah. So there's someone

who works outside. Dylan, what I wear to work is what I would wear around home. Shirt and shorts no need to change unless I've accidentally

sharted or something during the day yeah good call and then follows up with I'm kidding and then follows up I'm kidding with those eyes

that look into the side that look very guilty say I'm not kidding look we've all had an accident workplaces are more casual these days though you know like the

whole shirt suit thing yeah not as much in the corporate world. Amy said both. When I get home, I get into my fat pants, and then after my shower, I get into my PJs.

Oh, yeah. So she's getting out of the uncomfortable corporate gear into something more relaxing. And you can wear those probably for ages without a wash because you're only wearing them for a few hours a day. Yeah. Catherine says I shower straight after work. I work in a hospital. I'm a baker and don't want to smell like an

oven all afternoon. I want you to smell like an oven all afternoon. I want you to smell like cinnamon buns. Oh my god, yeah. Bring them home. Don't come home unless you've got one. As long as the smell of cinnamon buns ticks my need for cinnamon buns because I don't want to be constantly reminded how I don't have a cinnamon bun and then end up eating six cinnamon buns.

I don't need to do that to myself. Double shower on gym days. Can't work out smelling like work either. Yep. Good call. Sarah, Sarah, there's nothing like ripping off your work clothes and becoming the sloth you really are the minute you walk inside your house. Yes.

Stunning. Lisa. Now, this isn't grumpy, Lisa. Oh, good. Okay, feel. This is happy Lisa. First thing I do, get changed to ditch the bra. And I'm not the grumpy Lisa Oh good Okay feel This is Happy Lisa This is happy Lisa First thing I do Get changed to ditch the bra And I'm not the grumpy Lisa

Great Just want to clarify I'm imagining Lisa's All over the country Every time now They have an opinion That's not the brightest And cheapest

They have to prerequisite With I'm not grumpy Lisa Brittany says I don't I stay in my work clothes Until I get changed for bed Yeah fair enough She's got some comfy work clothes

she must have comfy work clothes jeans and top there you go even with jeans on the couch though you do I'm a jeans I can relax in jeans I'm a big jeans guy

I can't relax in jeans trackies trackies or PJs stretchies you're a monster I need elastic I'll lie on the floor and everything

and jeans I find jeans quite comfortable if your jeans aren't comfortable to lie on the floor and everything. And jeans? I find jeans quite comfortable. If your jeans aren't comfortable to lie on the couch, you need to get a new pair of jeans that meet you more halfway. Don't talk to me about new pairs of jeans. I'm aware I need to get a new pair of jeans. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey.

Play ZM. The frozen fish and chip. Well, the frozen chips that the fish and chip shop buys. Yep. And we all buy, except we buy smaller packs of them. They buy the big sacks of them. Yeah, they buy massive ones, amounts. Well, I've got terrible news.

We've got five weeks of those in reserves, and then there will be no more. Five weeks? Five weeks. What? Of frozen chips. Of frozen chips. Is this just one supplier or all chips?

Nope. It's kind of everybody because of the floods in Auckland. weeks of frozen chips. Of frozen chips. Is this just one supplier or all chips? Nope. It's kind of everybody because of the floods in Auckland. Yep. And up north. You know, I was bitching and whinching a few weeks ago about the kumara prices. Yeah. And, you know, I knew that that was because of the floods.

Same thing. And this is the same thing. And just the bad weather, the Auckland floods, Cyclone Gabriel when it hit the Hawke's Bay. And also climate change just on a whole has affected yields of tears. Tears. What else can we make chips out of? You know, I know, I know, I know, but it's going to get there. We're not going back to the kale chips. Oh, God.

Everybody was doing that. Yeah. Carrot chips. You're like, that's just a carrot. And I mean, as we mentioned before, we eat 120,000 tons a year of taters. Nothing deep fries like a tater. I love a perimeter chip, but they're already more expensive. What about, do you remember in 2020 when the pandemic was happening

and then we were flooded with chips from Belgium and the Netherlands? Correct. And everyone was like, hey, stop sending your chips here because I think they were. Local producers were like,

stop flooding the market with cheap chips. Well, let's get some of those back. Or do they all need them now because they're not locked up? What do you mean they're not locked up? Well, isn't that why we got all the chips?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because people weren't going to restaurants as much. Yeah, so they were like, I'll send them to New Zealand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dump them on us.

We love a chip. Well, you read the stats before. We famously love a chip by weight. We do. We do. We love chips. So maybe we're going to,

but then this is the, they talked to a few different fish and chip owners and a lady in Invercargill. Yeah. In Bluff, actually, the southernmost New Zealand fish and chip shop.

Showing that I have one on. Does she do a crab stick? Of course she does. Oh my God, it's not crab. I know it's not crab, but they're so yum. It's so, it's still funny to me

that you get crab sticks. You almost, always must get at least two crab sticks. Oh gosh. But she said if she was going to order chips, they would go

Europe, Australia, Australia, Littleton. Then they get off the ship. They get on the road and they go Littleton, Dunedin, Dunedin, Invercargill, Invercargill, Bluff. It's a long way for a chip to go. Huge carbon footprint on a potato there. Yeah. And I'm guessing that makes it a lot more expensive. A lot more expensive.

She said, but even while reserves are running out, costs are going up. Two weeks ago, she was paying $47 for 15 kgs of chips. Now, she's paying $55. Oh, wow. $7 increase. So when the fish and chip shop or a restaurant's putting up your chip prices,

it is because their prices have gone up too. Yes, correct. Oh. And fish was already very expensive. Yeah. Like, fish and chips

used to be the cheap takeaway. Hell yeah. Remember half a scoop after school? Yeah. We used to do that. Go to the fish and chip shop and be like, can I get half a scoop of chips used to be the cheap takeaway. Hell yeah. Remember half a scoop after school? Yeah. We used to do that. Go to the fish and chip shop and be like, can I get half a scoop of chips?

And it was a dollar. And it would be a massive scoop. And it would be huge. Yeah. And you'd rip a hole in the bag and then just go off to the park with your half scoop. All right, granted. So should we be...

Let's get you back in bed. I know you're not a hot chip at home person. No, I never cook at home. Should we be hoarding... Stockpiling. Stockpiling home person. No, I never cook at home. But should we be hoarding... Stockpiling. Stockpiling frozen fries. No, don't panic. Should we be panic buying frozen home fries?

No one's got a freezer big enough. What if... You know, because these guys are all going to be affected. Those little potato gems, the tater tots. I love those. I know. They're like my little hash browns. Yeah.

You can just eat so many of them. Yeah, and they don't count. Yeah, they're so good. So good. Well, those are made out of potatoes. I them. Yeah, and you dip them. Yeah, they're so good. So good. Well, those are made out of potatoes. I know. Yeah, maybe those are also in danger as well. Eek!

Well, you've been warned. Eek! God. Maybe this is the forced diet we all need. Maybe this is actually... Wait, you know what? Shut up. Play.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Well, I don't want to hear his excuses. I want an apology. This was shocking news. It kind of broke yesterday, didn't it? Or late Monday night. Oh, yeah.

It was a good bit of fun. Steve Hansen helping out the Wallabies. He might have done it for the Akubra hats. Did you see Australia leaving Australia? The team leaving Australia when the media was getting stuck into, what's his name? Eddie Jones. Yeah. They were getting stuck into Eddie Jones and he was wearing the

raddest Akubra hat and then they had a shot of the team and they were all wearing cool Akubra hats. Yeah, and all the wives and girlfriends were there and that made the female, what do they call the female Wallabies team say, oh, okay, so you get to take all the wives and girlfriends were there, and that made the female, what do they call the female Wallabies team, say, oh, okay, so you get to take all the wives, get to go to business class and fly with the team. But when we were stuck in Canada for three days,

you didn't really get us to fly home. Kind of, yeah, an economy. Cool. Unbelievable. Unbelievable move, Australian Rugby Union. Well, he's kind of come out, Steve Hansen, former All Blacks coach, and said, look, it's unpaid, it's four days,

I'm just in France making some observations for my mate Eddie Jones. So he's doing it for free. He's doing it for free. At least get paid. The money's always better in Australia. Yeah. So they say. Well, I've got the top six most traitorous moves

in New Zealand history Okay Wow Number six on the list When several ex-all blacks Got drunk on Australian RTDs Even though pals were on offer Yeah that's wrong

They were right there How dare they You've got to support pals They were in an icy bucket Remember those Who was the all blacks That got caught doing Uppers and downers

They were Was it taking sleeping pills And Red Bulls No mate who was the All Blacks that got caught doing uppers and downers? They were, was it taking sleeping pills and Red Bulls? No, mate, it was the Warriors. Was it the Warriors? It was the Warriors. No, I'm sure it was the All Blacks as well. Not our whas. It was the whas. It was the whas of yesteryear, Hayley.

I won't have a single bad word said against the 2023 squad of the whas. No, they wouldn't dare. We love the whas. We get up the whas and then we get down the whas and we get up the whys, and then we get down the whys, and we get up the whys. No, it was, yeah, there was problems with people taking sleeping pills, and then they'd hammer a Red Bull or an upper to get back into the mood because they were back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. New NZRU have confirmed All Blacks Corey Jane and Israel Dagg

were under the influence of sleeping pills. This was during the Rugby World Cup in 2011, but denies the pair went out to mix sleeping pills and energy drinks. That was at home! Yeah. Wasn't that the one we had here? Yeah. Why were they on sleeping pills here?

They didn't even have to adjust to the time zone. Well, you're allowed to take sleeping pills, but not if, I suppose, you're going out. Now people NRL trans-Tasman need pills and sleeping pills. And in 2016, league bosses are concerned about players mixing prescription meds and caffeine-laced energy drinks. Yeah.

Yeah. I think there was a couple of really shambolic flights when that was happening. Don't do that, please. Yeah, naughty, naughty. Number five on the list of the most traitorous moves in New Zealand history, when Sir Edmund Hillary said his favourite mountain

was Everest and not Aoraki Mount Co. Oh yeah. I mean you can see why he got... He was number one. Number three on the list of the top six. No, wait a minute. Number four on the list of the most traitorous moves in New Zealand history

when Sam Neill was called an Australian in a movie interview and didn't correct them. He just let them believe he was Australian. I can a movie interview and didn't correct them. He just let them believe he was Australian. I don't even believe you're bringing that up. Rude. Oh, dear. Really a sad day. Number three on the list are the top six most traitorous moves in New Zealand history.

When Sir Peter Jackson premiered the second and third Hobbit movies overseas. The second one at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles on the 2nd of December 2013. And the final film premiered at the Odeon Leisure Square in London. We built up a whole bloody cinema to do it here. Uh-huh. Tax breaks up the wazoo. I know. Up the wazoo.

Yeah, up the wazoo. Number two on the list of the most traitorous moves in New Zealand history. When Taika Waititi hooked up with Rita Ora in Australia and not in New Zealand. Would you have waited? I would have flown her over. Yeah. First time's got to be on home soil. Yeah, it does.

That's not a rule. Well, maybe they didn't. It is for me, actually. It's an unknown rule. Every time I'm first hooked up with someone, it's been on home soil. Right. That's pretty good stuff. I'm a patriot.

What can I say? If you're ever single and you're in Europe having a hot girl summer You can't do it. I'll fly them home. And then we'll go back and continue our holiday. Sorry, Jewel Leaper. We've got to fly back

to New Zealand. We're going to pop home for the weekend. Yeah. In your wildest dreams. Sorry, Jewel Leaper. And you put that cigarette out please

and go and brush your teeth. God, you're sexy. You a leaper. You are so sexy. And number one on the list of the top six most traitorous moves in New Zealand history. When Thingy renounced his New Zealand citizenship and moved to Australia because the pay was better. Yeah. You get more money if someone in Australia puts their hand up you and moves your mouth.

Oh, my God. You're telling me. You're telling me. Telling me I made a fortune. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, well, well. There is a therapist called Jamie Marla from California. Revealed some of the signs of a toxic person.

Perhaps some questions to ask yourself. Now, she revealed that she once was a toxic person. And she's changed. She healed herself. What? She healed herself? Yeah. Like a scab. Now one of these is a definite for me but before I get to that. If you are passive aggressive in your

friendships and relationships I'm probably going to sign you're toxic. What would an example of that be? I think I'm just straight up aggressive. I wouldn't say you a toxic. What would an example of that be? I think I'm just straight up aggressive. I wouldn't say you're aggressive. What was that face? See that face. What was that face?

What was that face? There it is. Yeah, there it is. You know what passive aggressive is, but I suppose in relationships, it's sort of not really saying what you think, isn't it? Yeah. Well, it's sort of not really saying what you think, isn't it? Yeah. Hmm.

Well, it's interesting that you think that, so I guess you're allowed to have your own thoughts as a man, Aaron. Yeah. I suppose you can do that. That's passive aggressive

rather than being strict, like being direct. And that's toxic. That is a sign you could be toxic. Interesting. Whereas what you should just say what you feel.

Be direct. Yeah, be direct. Be direct. Instead of being like I mean women do this all the time you're right no

yeah absolutely fine not a problem over in this corner of the lounge not a problem at all as opposed to being like actually no I'm not I've got a little bit

of a problem with what you just did okay could be a sign next one seeking constant validation that's me

literally tell me I'm great validation is my love language whether you want to say it as like Seeking constant validation. That's me. Literally. Tell me I'm great. Validation is my love language. Whether you want to say it as like affirmation, it's also validation. So it could be a sign that you're a bit of a toxic person. If you're constantly seeking validation, instead you need to work on improving your self-worth and needing less of that from a partner. Do you need validation, Vaughan, from your wife and family?

I don't think so. No, I don't think you do. I think you're happy to muck along and do your own things. And even when someone says you're good at your job, you're like... I don't like that. You don't like taking compliments, do you?

Yeah. Fletch, probably you as well. Yeah, I'm the same. Well, it comes from when I was a neurosurgeon. And people used to compliment me all the time, Dr. Smith, what a wonderful job you've done on that brain. And I got a little cocky. Yeah, you did.

Your whole life blew apart. And I sliced out a large part of somebody's brain once because I was high on cocaine. Yeah. The glam life, not you. Yeah, exactly. I got too used to it, you know. And now I'm like, no, no, don't do that.

I've got to stay straight and not cut out large parts of other people's brains. Yeah. It's good, man. You've changed for the better. Thank you. She says you've got to find the perfect balance between being independent and secure in yourself and asking others for help or affirmations. Okay.

Not just needing constant validation from them. Yeah, it's tiring. Yeah, her third side is that if you stay in unhealthy and unfulfilling friendships, it could mean that you're the problem. Okay. Could be a sign that you're a bit of a toxic person. When she was healing herself, this therapist, she reflected on various relationships in her life,

including friendships that left her feeling unworthy, had to ask why she stayed in them. This can point to you being a bit of a toxic person. The gossip about her and whatnot. So you've got to learn. I guess it's again about learning your self-worth, isn't it? It's really good to love yourself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love someone else.

Or something. I'm a toxic person. I mean, it was ticking a few boxes, wasn't it? I don't think I've ever stayed in unfulfilling or... What word does she use? Unhealthy relationships. I don't think so. No.

I'm quick to run. Quick to ditch and run. Yeah, a flight. Yeah, and also I've got so many friends. Like, if one of them's being a dick I'm like that's all good yeah I've said it before

and I'll say it again there's no greater joy in life than just as an adult deciding you're not going to be friends with someone anymore it's been years since I've kicked a friend to the curb

is it nice? feels good feels like a little weight off the shoulder because you don't tell them you don't say hey I'm not your friend anymore right

you just stop being friends with them. All right, you just stop. No, I couldn't do that. I'm a people pleaser. Nah, you wind down. They don't even know what's happening. Okay. I'm going to softly do it.

Yeah. Wait, not to us. Oh, God. Not now. No. I'm softly leaving. She'll come crawling back. She'll come back because she needs to pay that mortgage.

Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me I'm pretty and talented. Play. ZDM's Flet Tell me I'm pretty and talented. Now, there is a TikTok trend called the graveyard trick. Okay. I've been given a number of names. And it is supposed to help you stop texting your exes. Oh, yeah. I've only ever done this once, I think

when I text an ex and... To see how they are or Nah, just to be like Intentions of nookie What's up? Like miss you and what's up? Yeah. A little bit. Okay And I'd known that, this was like quite a while after we'd split and

he had split from his girlfriend that he had after me. Oh, so you just somehow found out that he'd split up with his... I was like an eagle. Yeah. What are those? Vulture. Circling.

Circling, yeah. I was vulturing. And then they split and I was like... Down, scavenge. And then nothing came of it. Did he even message back? He messaged back. He was a lovely boy.

Yeah, right. Okay. But didn't give me nookie. Didn't get any nookie. But you did it all for the nookie. I did it all for the nookie. The what? The nookie.

The what? So you can take that. It will stop there with those lyrics. Yeah. He was a poet, eh, Fred Deers? What a poet. What you do is you send them to the graveyard, right? Metaphorically.

Metaphorically, on the phone. Metaphorically, okay. So you take their number of your ex, and you probably don't have the guts probably to delete it altogether, or you just remember it. And you go in and you change their name to the graveyard symbol, like a tombstone, or like a skull and crossbones, whatever you want. And then you might have a collection of them, all with the a tombstone, or like a skull and crossbones, whatever you want, and then you might have a collection of them,

all with the same tombstone, right? And then they're in the graveyard, you don't know who's who, you can't text them, and also it reminds you, babe, that's dead. Yeah, they're dead to you. They're dead. They're dead to you. Yeah. So you want to delete all text exchanges you've had with them before as well, so that there's

no living remnants of them. And then you send them to the graveyard. And then when your brain's like, let's see what John's up to, you go looking and you're like, he's in the graveyard. He's in the graveyard. He's still dead. And if you've got like six Xs, you don't know which one's which. That's right.

So instead of blocking or deleting, which may seem like that's not what you want to do, hun, send them off to the graveyard. I think this is a great idea. Or you could just block them. No, because you can unblock them. Or you could just text them. I mean, you can work your way around this.

I don't know, what are they up to? Just text them. Or just text all the graveyard emojis. You'll be like, what's up, dead boys? Who wants mama? Well, as you may know, my parents live in Italy for half the year. Must be nice. I'm sure it is.

She just sent me a picture of the sunset and she's having a, what is she drinking on the balcony watching the sunset? A bellini, I think. What's a bellini? Peach. Peach and Prosecco. They're living their best life. I know.

God bless them. And my mother, who loves to shop, she loves fashion, is her passion. Yeah. And your passion. Marching in fashion. I've inherited those passions. And she saw something on a website for a New Zealand company and was like, oh, I really like that. But, you know, I can't try it on because I'm in Italy,

but it won't last because it's a classic fit. Yeah. And I don't know, you know, what to do basically. So what she did is she ordered the pants in two sizes and the tops in two sizes and then asked me, what's your weight doing at the moment? What's your weight doing at the moment? Because she knows I'm a fluctuator.

Now that I've inherited from my father. Right. What did you say when she asked you that? Bigger than usual. Right. Okay did you say when she asked you that? Bigger than usual. Right. Okay. Because my mum's got, she's got a very slim leg and I'm a bit thicker in the leg at the moment.

So we're going to take these things into account. She's got a bigger chest. Right. You know. Anyway, did you just lick my tits? I did. I did. But only to imagine your mums

yeah I was only imagining yeah I was imagining both of them oh so Patsy's a bee okay got it oh god I hope she's not listening

on iHeartRadio right now from Italy good morning good night if I was her and I had two hot spunks thinking about my tits I'd be scared

Fletch is holding a sheet up so he's not looking at my breasticles right I'm just scared of them Fletch is holding a sheet up so he's not looking at my breasticles. Right. I'm scared of them, Fletch. I'm scared of them. They're completely natural. So mum's seen one size and the next size up

in the top, one size and the next size up in the pants. So the idea is that you try them on. And then relative to how our bodies are different, she'll figure out which one to keep. And then I've got to send back the other one. So you're now being lumped with admin, a lot of admin. Happy to do it because it's a beautiful oat linen set, you know,

that I really feel the woman's going to get a lot of use out of. So yesterday she was like, has that package arrived? Are you able to try it on for me? And I was like, yeah, it arrived yesterday. Hang on, I'm covered in paint. Then I had to go and like put my phone up on the mirror and then put it on

and be like, okay, so, here's the top. I could play the video, but I don't know if I said anything terrible. Here's the top.

It's got a bit of space in the chest. I didn't look then. I didn't look. Yeah, good boy. And then less sort of around here.

What's happening? Good geeks. Yeah. I was like, less around here. Yeah. And then less sort of around here. What's happening? Good geese. Yeah. I said, less around here. And she's like, well, it's a bit short, because once you add a fuller bust, it makes it shorter. She is now saying to you, check out my rack. Yeah, basically.

How's my rack going to fit in there? Fuller bust. Yeah, that's right. And then she was like, can you show me the hem? Is there any room to let it down? How are the pants? And I said, well, you know, my thighs are filling it out, but yours won't, Patsy. So I think this 12 in the pan is a good fit.

So now I'm like a moving mannequin, I guess. My mum's online shopping. You are a moving mannequin. But I love that you can sort of figure out where our bodies are different as people. I'm happy to do it for her. And honestly, she's got herself a nice new flax linen set.

Which she can enjoy this summer eventually. Pop her breasts into and her beautiful legs. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now apparently, people are not really seeing the value in a degree. You know, like having a degree, whether or not it leads to a specific job or not. I mean, we pay a lot of money here in New Zealand, but in the States and stuff, it is insane what they are spending on education.

Student loans rates are higher than mortgage rates, right? Like, you just think, why would you do that? Just to get an average paying job, you're just going to be in debt for the rest of your life. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So only one third of young people think that having a degree means that they'll get a good job.

So 66% of them, basically, are saying, nah, you probably don't need it, and place more value on things like life experiences and trips and international, you know, seeing the world and whatnot. Which I remember like always thinking, my parents were saying that there was value in both. But I think if I didn't go to university of some kind, and I say that because I went to drama school,

that my parents would have been disappointed. You rolled around on the floor pretending to be waves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes and waves. And how much did you

pay to do that? $42,000. Oh my gosh. All up with like living costs and stuff. Yeah. Even like my brother left high school early.

Shocking. Yeah. What year did he leave after? He was like early in seventh form. I did that. I left after left after sixth Whatever year that is And it shows

Please carry on your story Well educated We've seen it We've seen it in the latest We'll get to the We'll get to the great unwashed Soon He says

Yeah like I mean literally Yeah You've got a degree I've got a What is mine? A certificate Yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah I think my brother got a We're doing the same job I know Of course I'm kidding I got a diploma. We're doing the same job. I know. Of course I'm kidding. I want a formal apology. Tertiary education is a very expensive way

to be indecisive about what you want to do. I know. I have so many friends with the most like mixed bag Bachelor of Arts and they've been going

for like five years or something because they're like, oh, I don't know. A Bachelor of Arts more like it. I know people that went to uni for years

and did like several different degrees and then didn't end up doing anything to do with it. There was a time in the late 90s, it was kind of when I was coming to the end of high school. I know, I know, you're shocked that I went to high school that long ago. I looked like I might have left last year. But it's been a while. And it's insane to think of now,

people were actively discouraged from joining the trades. Yeah, they were. It was like, go to university and go and do this tertiary education and go and do this. And it's just like all these guys that were just like, I just want to, like, nah. I know. I want to get my hands dirty, man.

I want to get in there and I want to. And those guys that went and did that are now like earning great money because they've been in a career for like 35 years that they love. Also, we're a country, I mean, now not so much because the house values have gone down, but we're a country that has always placed great value on investing in property and increasing the value of your property by renovating it.

If you can do most of that yourself, you are making bank. Anyway, as you just said, like some people did a degree, right, and then they're off doing, one of the girls I went to drama school, she's a full-time protester in Thames. God bless Catherine. What's she protesting in Thames? Oil. The bottle, the L&P bottle.

That's in Pairoa. Maybe she's protesting to get it moved to Thames, even though it would make no sense. It's not lemon in Thames. You know? But maybe you are someone listening that studied something and then does something totally different. I want to hear those stories of what did you study

and what do you do now? I love these. I love these. So bonus points if it doesn't require the degree that you got. Bonus points if you got a law degree, one of the most expensive, hardest, longest degrees to get, and now you work in fashion. In fashion.

You know? Or you're a vet or something. Yeah. Which also requires a science degree. I was going to say, you went from the most expensive degree to one of the other longest, most expensive degrees. But maybe you're just doing something different because you realise it wasn't what you wanted. Maybe you did go to vet school and you ended up just not enjoying it.

Working in a winery. I reckon vets are one of those jobs that people think, oh, this is going to be fun, and then you're putting down your fourth cat for the week and you're like, you know what? You don't deserve this, turtles. Oh my God, dealing with crying owners all the time. And then when you say, oh, your animal's obese

and people are like, how dare you? Oh my God, they don't know what they're talking about. He's not, he's just fluffy. He's very big-boned and fluffy. It's winter, he's just fluffy. He's very big-boned and fluffy. It's winter, he's got his thick winter coat on. All right, L8HunterDarzadam, give us a call now, text through 9696. I'll kick us off with an example. It texts just in, my degree is in marine zoology.

Now I sell chickens. Well, of course. There's no zoos under the sea. What were you thinking? Have you ever been to a zoo under the sea? Okay, I think he's misunderstood your degree. I've always thought it was marine biology was the one that people thought. Yeah, well, she said this person's in zoology. Yeah, in this ocean zoo.

Well, you probably can't work at SeaWorld, can you? Holy moly, guys, the texts are coming in. All right, we'll get to those next. So many messages in. Laura, what did you study and what do you do now? I actually studied a diploma in tourism, which majored in international flight attending straight out of high school. Oh, wow, cool.

Yeah, it was really good. Managed to get a really good job over in Australia, but then decided I needed to come back home and settle down and actually get a degree behind me. So now I'm actually a registered nurse in ED. Oh wow, that's a real left turn. Yeah, it's actually quite

a big flip and yeah, the night shifts, they don't make it easy. No, I'm just wondering. Thank you and you know I've got a lot of love for the health workers. Oh, yeah. Especially in the emergency department. The stuff you guys have to deal with.

But why did you do this? It seems like you had an international high-flying job and now you're dealing with people who couldn't, you know, stop drinking and then they got themselves into trouble. What do you reckon is worse, drunk passengers on a flight to the Goldie or drunk people in the ED? Oh, well, you know, I love the drama and it was a bit more heightened in ED for me compared to on a flight. Yeah, but I want another rum.

And that's in the ED. Thunderbird. Have you ever had to cut off someone's expensive jeans with those little nurse scissors? Cut off what, sorry?

Someone's expensive jeans with those little nurse scissors? Not too long ago, I actually did have to, it was a quite expensive jacket

that we had to cut off someone's butt. I'm upset. I'm upset. I'm upset. But darling, they're moochie. Darling, they're moochie. I'll be like, in a car crash, I'll be like,

don't cut them, they're moochie. And just so Fletch doesn't call them little nurses again, do they have a name? No, they're little nurses. Is that not their name? No, they're literally just sterile scissors. Oh, okay. little nurse scissors. Is that not their name? No, they're literally just sterile scissors. We don't use these. Oh, okay.

Sterile scissors. Okay. That's what I'll call them from now on. Sterile scissors. And they've got a rounded end so you can't poke them, eh? Yes, as long as you're using those ones and not the ones with the sharp edges on the end. Yeah, those are the big doctor scissors.

The doctor snips. Oh, a doctor. I'm going to use spring-loaded snips. They're right up there with mum's... Sew the end. Yeah, those are the big doctor snips. The doctor snips. Oh, a doctor. I'm going to use spring-loaded snips. They're right up there with mum's... Sewing scissors. Sewing scissors. Don't you dare. Never allowed to touch.

Don't you dare. Laura, thank you for sharing. So many messages and texts in. I did a music degree at Otago University and now I do pest control. Wow. They sing to them. Come out, come out.

Bang, bang, bang, bang. That's the percussion. I'll get to more of your messages and calls out. Bang, bang, bang, bang. That's the percussion. I'll get to more of your messages and calls next. There is a name for the scissors. It's Ray Escapism on ZM, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's nine minutes away from eight. Little nurse snips. Trauma shares.

And you yourself can own your own pair of trauma shares for $7.90, excluding GST and shipping. $9.09, including GST. Wait, it's not Teemu. I'm not getting my trauma shares off Teemu. No, no. Pracmednz.com. Oh, okay.

Or Real Medical Equipment. I'll send them on through. But what would you use it for? Decorative, like put plants in it and stuff. Okay, right. Like a vintage medical cabinet, you know, with like little vials. Oh, yeah. And one of those phrenology things where it's like,

this just indicates your smartness from here to here on the skull. Like a cranium. Yeah, okay. And then something that's a little bit racist. I mean, phrenology itself was a very racist practice. Join me on my new podcast, Vaughan Smith Racist Practices. Episode one. Episode one, phrenology.

Oh, I thought you were going to go rural New Zealand gollywags. Quiz nights. No, I was going to go Kaima quiz nights. Oh, fun. It was my first episode. Fantastic. I'm excited for this podcast series. It'll be fantastic.

Good Lord, we've had some messages in. It's crazy, isn't it? So we've asked you this morning what you studied, but what you do now. Is it vastly different? Because 66.6666666% of young people don't believe that having a degree is necessary to having a successful and what's the word?

High-earning job. Yeah, you're just saddled with massive debt. Yeah. But then there are some things you can't study without. Like you couldn't go into doctoring, dentistry, vet, health. Doctoring. Doctoring.

Vetting. Vetting. Veteran. Buildering you can't. Without what? A huge student loan. Without training. Yeah, building you can do the training and yeah.

Of course. I did law at uni, changed to a BA in education and gender studies, and now I'm a national visual merchandiser and work in jewellery. Wow. But they can spot a gender walking through the door. Yeah, they can. They can. They dare not assume.

No. They can absolutely spot a gender and tell them the law. I mean, you two dig your own hole if you wanted to get into gender politics. Join our new podcast, Vaughan Smith.

I definitely don't. Never assume. That's another podcast I've got going on. Yeah, right. I've got a bachelor and primary education and a post-grad

and early childhood education and I work in the media. Oh, who's that? You could work with, and I work in the media. Oh, who's that? You could work with, you could work in the media targeting those children, couldn't you? Yeah.

Advertising to them and such. Yeah. I don't think you're really allowed to do that. I got a law degree and now I'm a dog walker. I would love to walk dogs. And lawyers.

Yeah, dogs. No way you'd lose one dog. Some crazy dog owner is going to give you a... You go to the SPCA and just paint another one. Well, it's not a 1990s sitcom. Isn't there like five dogs? There's five types of dogs. You go to the SPCA and you're like,

I need a long, short one. Yeah. The only one we've got is yellow. This one was brown, but I've got a solution. Cut to a montage of giving a hair dye to a dog. The owner will never know. Never know. I started a health

science degree, didn't finish it and went working full time and now I'm an HR consultant. No degree. Really? Are they allowed to be up there with no degree? Well, our friend James is an HR consultant. Did he have a degree? Didn't he do some study? He did some study.

He did some study. But maybe it was just one of those. I'll have to ask him. I've got a diploma in hospitality management and I work as a sports coordinator in a high school. Now, what would be harder to deal with? The sports kids or drunk people? Probably both. Sports kids.

Neither are returning the key. One of those when I studied a degree in fashion design and now I'm a quantity surveyor. From quite a glamorous job to more sort of out and about on the construction sites. Do you reckon they've altered their high-vis work gear? Of course they have. Like snatched away.

A couple of darts. Rightly so. My husband studied environmental planning and now he's a detective. An environmental detective. Dude, who's dumped the poison into the drain? I'll get to the bottom of these dead fish washed up on the beach. I ran a finance company and now I own Long Bay Surf Club.

That's pretty good to know about finances if you're going to run a surf club. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got a master's in physics and I'm an IT project manager. Is that a lot of Venn diagram of common ground there? Don't know. I did travel and tourism at uni and now I own a bookshop. That's the thing about books though, they can take you anywhere.

They can. Anytime. They can. You don't have to come back. Well, you do have to come back because you've got to stop reading. Because it's time to go to sleep. And the customers are waiting. This one, I was trained as a chef.

Now I'm an investigator of internal fraud, bribery and corruption. Oh. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, fraud, bribery and corruption. Dun dun dun dun Dun dun dun dun Dun dun dun dun Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Taylor Swift,

22 on ZM. That is the song along with the song at midday and four that could win you a double pass to see her live in Sydney. Project Swifty.

Oh, and it's Hayley's version, of course. Oh my God, you guys. Oh my God, you guys. Now, Project Swifty. Project Swifty is turning me, Hayley, a bit of a classic rock metal girl, into a Swifty, because I'm so excited about all the hype

that I want to experience and I need this. Chips are gonna not be around. The planet's on fire. Hot chips are gonna be around. They're just gonna be more expensive

and they're gonna import them. They're gonna be Dutch. Everything's more expensive. So they're gonna be long and straight. Long and skinny. Yeah. You like a girth.

I like girth when it comes to a chip and a bit of texture. Yeah. Ribbed. No. I've got no time for crinkle cut chips. What? Get them out of here.

They hold the sauce so well. Stop making rules. It's more surface area to be deep fried. It's worse for you. There's no doubt about it, but that's so young. Stop making, stop. If crinkle cut disappeared. Crinkle cut can only be deep fried in oil as well.

They can't be oven baked. They don't oven bake well. I don't have an air fryer, so I can't speak to air frying. We'll do Friday rankings, chip styles. I like that idea. Including a wedge, a shoestring. Yeah. Anyway, so A wedge. That is a chip. No, no, no, no.

A wedge is a wedge. Yeah, but it's a form of chip. No, no, no, no. It's a form of potato. It's potato but then why are we including mash or potato tots? I'll see you on Friday. I'll tell you what, Friday's final rankings. And we're including potato tots. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, we're including potato.

I know we've done forms of potato. We all said mash. No, but now we're doing chips. Chip styles. Chip styles. I like to think Taylor Swift would not like crinkle cut fries. Taylor Swift's a shoestring girl, you can tell. It depends what era she's in.

I don't know. Well, the girlies who are helping me become a Swiftie. I just said that and then turned for instant gratification from the producers because I've used the term era. You did good. And I'm an old man. You did good, Vaughn. Carween and Chanelette are the ones tasked with turning me into a Swiftie.

Kia ora, girls. Good morning. Good morning. So where are we at? What do I need to learn next? So last week you looked over the history. You know, you watched some movies, some docos, you know, the tour. This week it's all about trends.

We're talking what you need to know if you are going to the Errors Tour. I'm trendy. Exactly. So after the show today, I'm going to task you with some TikToks, all right? We're going to film some trends. You're going to be running through the office. This is good. You want to build your running through the office. This is good. You want to build your TikTok career.

You've always said this. I said that almost a year ago, and I haven't made any since. Well, don't worry. Today's the day. We're going to have you running through the office to a song called August. I'm quite unfit. It's all good. You're going to look glorious.

We did a class yesterday. You're fine. Yeah, but you're going to do one gym class and then fix your fitness. I also hope you bought a spare change of clothes because we are heading to the work showers and it's gonna get wet. I didn't bring a... I'll have to go nude. Okay, well, we'll just crop up. It's good.

That'll get the bloody followers going. Yeah, exactly. So we're gonna do some TikToks after the show today. So if you want to see them, head to FVHZM on TikTok. But we're also gonna get you across some chants. Now, during the ERA's tour, she has some special songs where the fans get into it, you know?

People will sing along. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly. Hey, hey, you ugly. Yeah, similar. Yeah, kinda. It's a bit more Oh, Mickey, you're so fun, you're so fun, you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey. Hey, Mickey. Yeah, Mickey, you're so fun, you're so fun, you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey. Hey, Mickey.

Yeah, like that. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. I'm going to task you with one for Onia right now, okay? And the boys can join in on this. Okay. Oh, wait, no. Is there clapping?

There's clapping. Because you know I can't do that. Five claps in the Friends theme song. Actually, they both do. Don't worry. This one's only two claps. Okay. So better odds for Fletch.

Okay. Wow, thanks. She has the song You Belong With Me. It's a classic from the Fearless era. Of course, Hayley, you must be across this. Yep. And so when she gets to the lyrics, you know I'm going to laugh when I'm about to cry. After the word cry, I need you all to go.

We just need two claps. Okay. Yeah, are you ready? Yep. I missed it. You guys missed it. You said you're about to cry and she said I'm about to cry. I was referring to Taylor crying.

Yeah, right. I was waiting for the next time where she changed it. No, I'm about to cry. Oh, for God's sake, Fletch. To be fair, he was holding it. You've got to get your hand off the mouse if you want to play that. Okay, ready? And again, and again.

We're going to nail this. Very hard for me to do this. One more. Oh, for God's sake, Fletch. Oh, I can't. Real late, eh? He's not even on the offbeat. He's half a quarter of the way. I can't see you guys clapping, then I do it. No, we can real late. He's not even on the offbeat. He's half a quarter of the way.

I see you guys clapping, then I do it. No, we are all together. Yeah, okay. All right, so that's the homework and TikTok's after the show. Yeah, we've got some more charts we'll do as well, and we might even have you doing them in the office. I think you need to be put up against the people. Okay, thank you.

Thank you. I'm really serious about this. I'm taking it very seriously. I want to become a Swifty swiftly. Yes. So I will put in the mahi and get it done. Last night, Indy had a hockey game. Frustrating game to watch.

You want to get out there and do it yourself? No, my parents would drop us off and come when we finished the games. Oh. I'm the father. That's why you don't like being hugged. I'm the father. That's why he just doesn't like physical touch. I think cricket games went for like, I don't know.

No one blames your mum. No parent deserves to sit through cricket games. No, no. My dad would be listening and be like, if I had to sit through fricking marching all weekend. Did he have to go? Yeah, my dad would come. Poor Craig.

Oh, poor Craig. No, it's good he likes to see his daughter on his favourite daughter. Does he? But I'm the dad at hockey that, I've become the dad at hockey that I make fun of at netball because I'll just sit there quietly at netball and watch the netball happen,

but at hockey I'm more into it because it was the sport I used to play. The sport of choice. Yeah. Why can't I reps various levels? Yeah, only a rep because your mum was the coach I used to play. Sport of choice. Yeah. Why could I rep various levels? Yeah. Only a rep because your mum was the coach. Mum was his daughter's coach afterwards. Nepotism.

As previously stated. Warren's a Nepo baby. He is a Nepo baby. I'm a Nepo hockey baby. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, on the way home, Shada and I had five different arguments. Oh, God.

In the car. This is a record. This is the record for us. Okay. This is what we set. This is what we set. This is what we set. The first, in fact, we may have had six because I believe these are two different arguments.

God, you remember the points of them all? Oh, when I got home, I sat down. I made a list. When I got home, I sat down to do the whole, like, fact of the day and the top six and, like, research and send some ideas through for the show. And I was like, I'm going to do this while I was fresh. And then I asked her for clarification on one of the arguments

and she said, why? And then we had another argument about that. It was like lighthearted stuff, but I don't count that as one of these arguments because it wasn't in the car. Okay. Number one, how closely I should stop behind the car in front of me and rush out of traffic.

Now, Perrin, I'm getting too close. Oh, okay. I'm really getting, and to quote her, up the arse. Yeah. Why are you driving up their arse? Why are you doing that? I don't hear this a lot. Is it because you're not looking and you're on your phone?

No, no, no, no. I just move, I just move and close the gap because you know why? In Auckland traffic, if you don't, some arsehole is going to get in there. He's going to wedge himself in. Yeah, I do that. I apologise for the language.

I get a little heated. Yeah, you do. I get a little heated in traffic. Yeah, you do. I follow closely. heated in traffic. Yeah, you do. I follow closely. Especially when I'm being told how to drive by someone who could have, let me check my notes,

driven. Oh, yeah, right. But she jumped in the passenger seat before I got to the car. Okay, right. If she's such a good driver, surely she would have taken it upon herself to be the principal driver.

Fair. One. Okay. Distance. I'm going to write distance. Two. Indicating. Oh, no.

Why didn't you drive? Three seconds is sufficient with indicating. Like it wasn't raining or we would have had another one because I leave the windscreen wipers on too long apparently. Oh my god, Aaron does it. Aaron does it and I want to always switch it off and if I do chaos and sadness. I don't think it's raining anymore, buddy. to always switch it off, and if I do, chaos ensues. I don't think it's raining anymore, buddy. Are you switching it off when there's still some spots on the window?

Oh, but when there's, like, spots like that, and they're like, whew, whew, whew. No, I'll keep it going until it's like, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. Squeak. And I'll be like, I think I'm on her side with this one then. No, that wasn't one that had last night. It was indicators.

It was indicators last night. I said three seconds is the law and she said, you're not doing it for three seconds and I said, this is three seconds

and she said, it's not three seconds and then she said, do it for this long and I said, that's five seconds. What is the actual road code? Is it three seconds?

But three seconds is one, two, three, now I'm leaving the lane. I'm not doing three seconds. It's not is one, two, three, now I'm leaving the lane. I'm not doing three seconds. It's not turn, dick, dick.

Yeah. Turn, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Yeah. Okay. So you got told off for that. That was the third one. Okay. No, that was the second one.

The third one was, now what are we going to do with this? Arguing about who has cleaned the oven more since we put the new oven in. How did this come up? And why are you arguing about this in the car ride? Or they said what's for dinner?

And I said, mum's cooked us a delicious lasagna. And she had. And I said, and it's sitting in the oven. I said, probably. And I may have said something passive a bit. Oh, okay. Look at him just realising. Look at him realising.

He was in a shitsuri mood and she wasn't. And no, I want to reiterate, none of these were like full-blown serious arguments. I don't believe my marriage is in trouble. But then the guy never does see it coming, does he? No. Dude, you're going home and she's not going to be there. She's gone one day.

My wife gone. I hope she takes the dogs and the cats. She's going to fill the car up with animals and get out of here. So that was about, then that turned into who had cleaned the oven. No, what did you say? I said, it's sitting in the oven now, probably the cheese is dripping off the side onto the bottom of the oven. Something like that.

Yeah. And then that turned into who had cleaned the oven more. No, I cleaned it last week. No, you didn't. I cleaned it. Which I said, I've cleaned it twice, and I believe it's been cleaned three times, like a total clean, but I do like a clean.

Like a clean. I'm in there for hours. And then you ask for a medal. You ask for her to inspect it. That's right. Then that evolved but became a separate argument on if cleaning the oven, how many times of just a general clean equates to one oven clean?

Right. So I think you'd have to clean the kitchen 20-odd times because it's just a wipe around, a spray around, and everything. Because I'm in there for hours. Yeah, it's awful. And each kitchen cleans for a couple of minutes of a wipe and a spray. So anyway, that then became the arguing of the ratio for what that counts.

30 times then. Yeah. If it takes you an hour to clean the oven. Then that, it was at this stage that August said to Layla, who's in the car, Indy's friend. Wait, sorry. Wait, you're arguing in front of her friend? Well, Layla's around enough that she's just more or less. Part of the furniture.

Part of the family. And August is like, they do this sometimes. Oh. Like the other night, they really had a good go about Uno rules. And then that kicked off

argument four, no, five Uno rules. We revisited Uno rules. You can't stack pickups on pickups. Was that the rule? You can't stack pickups on pickups. Who does she believe you can stack pickups on pickups? You can. Until recently, she believed can't stack pickups on pickups. Was that the rule? You can't stack pickups on pickups.

Who does she believe you can stack pickups on pickups? You can. Until recently, she believed you could stack pickups on pickups, but you can't. Like twos and fives. You can't put a plus two on a plus two. Official Uno rule says you can't. But I'm lenient in the fact that I believe there's regional Uno rules.

Wait, you can't stack the same denomination, the same number, or different? You can't stack any. No, no, no, you definitely can't put a plus five. We do. A plus four on a plus two. Oh, yeah same number, or different. You can't stack any. No, no, no. You definitely can't put a plus five. We do. A plus four and a plus two. Oh, yeah.

I have done that. We do that. I think once I made my brother pick up like 400 cards. You absolutely. You can't stack. This is why you don't talk that much. You can't pack. But the argument, the recent Uno argument we had was I was raised by good, wholesome folks

who are still married. Shout out comes from a broken heart. Oh, my God. Wow. Clear the spear bed, please. I may need a place to stay. Clear that spear bed. But what I'm saying is I believe there's regional rules to Uno

and I'll make an adjustment. However, I was of the belief that if you had a card that could be played, you had to play it. Yeah. So if you had the multicolour one that you can put down on anything, the wild card, you can't keep that and pick up another one because you want to play that as your last card. If you can have a card that can be played, you have to play it.

However, upon Googling, that is not the rules. Right. So I said, okay, that's cool. We can play that rule. You can hold. But my belief was, the rules. Right. I said, okay, that's cool. We can play that rule. You can hold. But my belief was, and I text people who I played Uno with growing up, and they all agreed they thought this was the rule. So I believe that's an original rule.

Right. So you had a little argument. We had a null. We revisited the original rules. I had no idea you can't stack plus twos on each other. You can't stack pickups. I always do. Because that's why.

Scott ends up with 400 cards from there. He's a loser stack pickups. I always do. Because that's why Scott ends up with 400 cards and then from there he's a loser. He's a loser. I won. I always won. Oh no. 5, 10, 15, 20,

22, 24, 26. You can stack same numbers of cards. Yes you can. Like if you've got like four nines that's fine. Yes and they're

all different colours. That's incredible. As long as the bottom colour is the same colour as the one before it. Do we need to get your brother on the line for an apology

for making him pick up 400? And all the times I stole from Monopoly from the bank. Because I was the banker because I was older. Yeah. It's the older brother, so obviously. Right. Skim a little off.

Yeah. And then, so that went on for a bit. And then the final argument was. So it was six. Yeah, this was the final one. It was if the kids, if it's appropriate to play the 1990s Dennis Leary classic song, Asshole. Do you know that song?

Comedian Dennis Leary sang a song about how he is an asshole. Harmony? Oh, that's a, yeah. Oh, yeah. Isn't it like eight or nine minutes long? It's a long song. It's a long song. Yeah, but like by today's standards, it's really, I mean there's a couple of lines that you wouldn't say now,

but the offensive words aren't really that offensive anymore. Yeah, right. Yeah, and so whether or not it was appropriate for the kids to be listening to that. And then the kids were like, well, Dad has played this multiple times to us because we ask him when we're in the car, so then that was another argument. Yeah, right. Well, after mentioning these six arguments,

I imagine you've got a few more arguments when you get home. I hope so. I imagine your kids are going to be growing up in a broken home. That's my love language. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day was sent this by a Samsung user because yesterday on the show I believe there was a right bit of ripping into Samsungs. Oh, there was a...

Gentle ripping. Do you remember that girl? She was like, it's a red flag if a guy has a green text. Yeah. She's like, yuck. She's like, ooh. You're like, ooh. And you're like, aw.

Yeah. Yeah. She's like, yuck. She's like, ooh. And you're like, aw. Yeah. Block. I thought it was most unusual that she couldn't just get on board with messaging him on one of the other

many apps. Yeah. Where it's, you know, impossible to tell. Like, would you, if a really hot guy

was green text, you'd be, you don't care, do you? Nah, I've checked Instagram. Jason Momoa feels like a Samsung guy. Oh, yeah, we checked.

God, my boner just fell off. Sorry, I forgot where it was for a second. Sorry. 8.30, apologies. So today's fact of the day from the Samsung factory is that there's an arse robot at the Samsung factory. Okay, what? There is an arse robot.

The robot sits the arse pointing down, and then there's a seat, and you slide the Samsung phone in, and then the arse robot pushes down on the gel. Oh. There's a gel over it. There's jeans, and you put the phone in the jean pocket, and then under the jeans there's sort of a gel, human-ass-like material.

Yeah. And then the machine pushes down on pressure to make sure that all the phones won't crack if you sit on them. Oh, my gosh. Now, what are we talking? Are we talking a big gym dumper or more of just average? They've got various. It's kind of the same size, but it's the pressure that changes.

Right. I never actually thought about that, if a phone splintered the glass. Straight over the ass. It's not like a safety glass. It's not any of the smartphone glass. If you've ever dropped your phone, it does kind of splinter, doesn't it? Yeah. Run your finger over it sometimes.

It won't stab you in the butt. I actually just started following this guy on Instagram who works on like movie props and stuff and he shows you how they do like behind the scenes tricks and stuff. Oh, I've seen some of those. Yeah. And he said in the last year

he's worked on a movie and a TV show where someone had to stomp their cell phone and shatter it and he's like, they just would stomp it and it wouldn't shatter.

He's like, it's a very particular like angled thing but it doesn't look good on camera. If you're like trying to kick it on an angle you want that straight

stomp down. Yeah. So they put... Because you've got to stop the FBI tracking your phone. Yeah, and of course just smashing the screen

will adequately take care of that in a smartphone. Yeah, like they never take the SIM card out. They're like, does anybody have a little paper clip? Just chuck it in water, right?

Yeah. And it'll sink and the signal won't get to it and such. But he puts a big fat thumbtack on the bottom of the shoe. Oh. And so it hits, and the metal shatters the screen.

He's like, it's brilliant because the way that the metal hits the screen sends the shatters out. When I had to punch my fist through a glass thing in Golden Boy, I had one of those little glass breakers you see on buses just poking out like that so that it connected first, and it went psssh. Wow, cool. I also had a sugar jug chucked at my head.

Oh, yeah. You know, they make those glasses out of sugar and then they smash them and they shatter like glass, but they're soft, won't hurt. Was the window you punched one of those as well? No. You punched a real window? A car window, and then they had a glazier on set in case I'd stuffed it up and they had to, like, put in a new window.

What about a St. John's on set in case you went through the window and sliced various veins in the wrist? I sort of, like, wrapped something around it and then had to put in a new window. What about a St. John's on set in case you went through the window and sliced various veins in the wrist? No, I sort of like wrapped something around it and then had the thing out enough that my fist wouldn't even hit it. Looked pretty cool though. Pretty thrilling. Wow. Look at you. You're a stunt actress. Doing your own stunts over there.

That's pretty cool. That's stunt cigarette smoking. See, I'm doing my own stunts here. Actors. So today's fact of the day is in the Samsung factory where they test the phones, there's an arse robot. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Play ZM.

From nine, from nine. Oh, that was lucky. Sauce about that, sauce about that. Everyone was like, I'm going to turn around and go back home to bed. No, no. I'm early. Now, in Auckland, on yesterday morning Auckland on yesterday morning on yesterday morning

I seen an article Did you done anything about it? I done nothing A recycling truck yesterday morning caught fire in Auckland and what they've done through investigating how the fire

started they think it's because of a lithium ion battery found in a vape Auckland, and what they've done through investigating how the fire started, they think it's because of a lithium-ion battery found in a vape. A little tiny battery in a vape. Little, little, witty, witty, witty ones, and the whole, like, you ought to think recycling. We've got paper in there. Yeah. That whole thing, like, caught ablaze, and all the firefighters had to go.

Is this something that's happening more and more because of lithium batteries, I feel? Like rubbish trucks? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, right. Yeah, I don't know. Well, I mean, the police put it out and whatnot, but they were like... The police. The police put it out.

No, no, the fire police. Yeah, the fire police. You've got the human police. Yeah. And you've got the dog police. Yeah. And you've got the fire police. Yeah. And you've got the sick police. Yeah. Yes. the dog police Yeah And you've got the fire police Yeah

And you've got the sick police Yeah Yes The sick police Yeah, there you go Well, these are the fire police The fire police Who wear yellow

They turned up and they put it out Okay But they're almost sure that it was from A vape A vape Because also like You know the little vape pens you can buy Yeah

That are like a bit cheap And you put the little things in know i know i know next to nothing about vines no but they're plastic i wonder if people just go like when they're done with them didn't producer jerry didn't you have a vape that caught fire or started smoking once uh yeah at my old job i had a after work activity that i scooted to and my face was this after work activity it was dungeons and dragons i can tell you all about it if you'd like no i'd love to hear about that campaign i've cut him off he's gone okay wait that's a good story okay only if he doesn't mention dungeons i wasn't gonna mention dandy you

asked me you guys pushed him yeah this is your phone can we have a cover story we need to cover a story i was i was going to the bar to get on the bevvies, and I put my vape in the little pocket of my backpack, and I scooted past this group of kids who were vaping, and I could smell, like, the burnt vape smell, and I was like, amateurs. Shame on them. And then I walked into the bar, got all the way to the other end, and people were kind of looking at me like,

hey, man, why is there a whole bunch of smoke coming out of your backpack? You were on fire. Yeah, my vape had been, like for the whole five minute bike ride and burnt a hole through the little pocket of my bag. Oh my God. That's, yeah, lucky. It's no good, is it?

But there's lots of, I mean, accidental fires happen all the time. Yeah. You know, with little dumb things. Especially the lithium batteries are in the e-scooters, aren't they? And a lot of those are catching on fires. You never should leave those on overnight. No. Well, I wanted to put it to the people.

Okay. Take it to the voice of the people. When did you accidentally start a fire? What was the dumb way that a fire got started? I remember in drama school there was a girl in my class called Lily and we did a class called Buffon, which is like you create this kind of weird clown character out of like a child.

Wait, you paid $40,000 for this? $42,000. Where did you get the child from? No, no, no. You were the, you got your inner child and then you became these like monsters called Buffons. It's really fun. And then we did like a three hour improv class.

Wait a minute. What drugs were you taking when you did this? Some sort of hallucinogenic? No, no, no, no. The drug of wanting to be a better actor. Wow. And then one of the classes was a three-hour improv in these characters where we had to run around

as our inner child and just like run amok, right? And everyone was like, ah, having fun. We were all running around and playing with each other for like hours. And then someone was like, and Lily in the corner just like started a fire. And then everyone was like, what have you done? And she was like, I set something on fire. She's a kid. She's a curious child. She was a curious child. And then everyone was like, what have you done? She was like, I set something on fire.

She's a kid. She's a curious child. She was a curious child and then the improv got called off. Oh my God. She won though, right? She won improv.

She started a fire. She was willing. Yeah, she could have burned down the whole place. Because when the teacher was like, what the hell are you doing? She was like, I don't want to know

what to happen. I'm just a fun little clown. That rules. Actually, she wins in bronze. Country of arsonists on our hand here. We want to know when you've accidentally lit a fire because there was a recycling truck in Auckland yesterday morning that set ablaze thanks to the battery of a vape.

Amy, this is your brother. When did he accidentally start a fire? So it starts off just like every good story like this starts off. We had some leftover fireworks. Oh, for God's sake. Yes. All right. So that's like this.

That's excellent. It was Christmas time, and my brother's birthday's on Christmas, and the one thing he wanted to do was go do some fireworks. So we went down to the riverbed just like middle of summer. Yeah. And it was the fireworks, and it was, you know, like the mega boom ones, like the good stuff from back in the day, not what we have now. And as it was going off, it fell over, and there was some long dry grass.

Oh, no. And I'll tell you what, it was spectacular, like best fireworks ever. I've never seen my dad in such a panic. He grabbed, it must have been a vest or a jacket from out of the truck, went and poked it in the river and he managed to actually hit it out. But, you know, it was all panic stuff. Oh my God.

The New Year's fireworks start so many fires. Oh yeah. Because everything's so dry. Yeah. No, it was pretty outrageous. Like, lucky for dad, quick thinking. But I think the funniest part was my brother, who's quite comical, he goes, Dad, just piss on it.

Oh, my God. I see. When you first started telling the story, to me, there wasn't an adult present. But now Dad's there. You're like, oh, Dad's going to put it out because he knows how much trouble he's going to do. Amy, thank you for your call.

Emily, when did you accidentally start a fire? So I went to a Catholic primary school, so we used to do prayers morning and afternoon. Oh, peace be with you. So we would light candles. Well, someone rearranged a prayer table and had the candles right at the front. So I'm standing up there, I'm doing my prayer.

I turn my head and my long frizzy blonde ponytail caught on fire. Oh my god, you're on fire! Burning hair stinks. Oh yeah. It's so awful. That's the worst. I couldn't feel it, so the teacher's like hitting me in the back, like trying to put it out, but I

couldn't feel it. I was like, what's happening? And then the whole class was done. You just think that your teacher's beating you up. You're like, what did I do? And then I was scared of candles for, like, probably five years. And now, at 24, I run a candle business with, like, very detailed instructions on where and where not to put these candles. Not under a curtain.

Is one of the scents burning here? Catholic guilt. I mean, I can tell you how awful that smells, so I don't think it would be a bestseller, but maybe like a plant candle. Yeah. It's not great. Emily, thank you.

Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. When did you accidentally start a fire? Gosh, we are hearing some terrible stories, really, of when you accidentally started a fire. Seven Sharps set a house on fire last week. Yes.

It was nicer than they told the family just as they were doing it. No. Grab your stuff. They did it with the New Zealand Fire Service. It was fascinating to watch.

They did it live. Like seven o'clock started they're like we're starting a fire. They started the fire by the end of the shows. Half an hour later the house was gone.

Well a rubbish truck caught on fire because somebody chucked their vape out. No one heard. You've got to be careful chucking out your lithium batteries. Yes. So many calls.

Danielle, what happened? When did you accidentally start a fire? Oh, yeah, I accidentally started a fire. I caught myself on fire. Oh, you did. Ding dong. We were at an event and I had just walked into the bar and it was really crowded and so I stepped out of the way

to let someone pass and all of a sudden I could sort of smell like this burning and I'm like looking around to see what it could be and there were all these little tea light candles along the edge of the bar. I thought they're supposed to have those fake ones that, you know, like plastic and they flicker, but they're not real. Yeah, they were fake. Yeah. So then I looked down and the sleeve of my dress was on fire,

but to make matters worse, it was a rented designer wardrobe. Oh, no. You broke my dress. Did you, I'm guessing you didn't get your money back for that? Well, no, so I'd taken out the insurance on it, thinking that one of my husband's friends would probably tip a glass of red wine over me at one point later in the evening. And when I rang them and I was like, oh, does the insurance cover fire?

When they heard the story, they were so concerned about me that they were just like, don't worry, send it back, it's fine. The insurance can cover it. Oh, my God. Thank God you didn't incinerate it so much that you were standing at the bar nude, like it didn't go... Well, we did spend a long part of the evening trying to figure out how we could amend the dress

so that if I did end up owning a very expensive designer dress... Got the sleeves off. You know we're going sleeveless. Yeah, how we could make that worthwhile. My husband's an accountant, so he was really struggling with the concept of owning a very expensive dress. Yeah, fair enough.

Oh, my God. An accountant, but he could have just come to the girls here at Girl Math and they would have had this worked out for him. We would have figured it out. I don't have time to get into it. Danielle, thank you. Bailey, when did you accidentally start a fire?

What happened? Good morning, guys. Good morning, Bailey. Good morning. Good morning. Hey, it wasn't me. It was on my 21st birthday. We had a rowdy night in town

and we came back at around two o'clock in the morning. We thought it was a good idea to have a bonfire outside and continue drinking. It feels like it's never a good idea. Terrible time in the day to light a fire. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, great idea. And it turns out the flames weren't catching on the fire, so my friend thought it was a good idea to have the oil canister. No, no, no. None of these good ideas have been good ideas so far. Bailey says that you've got a bunch of dickheads for mates. Yeah, and we were all pissed, so so yeah, that didn't help as well. Dumb, wasn't it?

It's a silly boy, weren't you, Bailey? You're lucky you lived to see your 22nd. Absolutely. Yeah, so he thought it was a good idea, so he... There's another one. I don't think it was. What's that, sorry? I was going to say, you thought of these good ideas,

but none of them have been good ideas. We can all see where this is going, right? Yeah. The fire say, you thought of these good ideas, but none of them have been good ideas. We can all see where this is going, right? Yeah. When the fire started and Bailey and his mates did the classic ticket behaviour.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, he tipped some on there and it went up the oil canister and lit the whole

canister on fire. He didn't really know what to do, so he chucked it and it landed in our pool and the whole flame spread across the pool Oil and water.

Oil and water that they don't mix. Oil just sits on top on fire. Bailey, Bailey, Bailey. The funny part about it, I got told in the morning because I didn't know what happened last night. Dad has security cameras all around his house. So it was a funny, very cool video to watch afterwards.

There's a video of that. Oh, wow. Bailey, Bailey, Bailey. Lucky you're alive, Bailey. Lucky you're alive. I know. I'm grateful for it. I hope Dad kicked somebody's ass.

For the pool, I'm just thinking about getting the pH back. Oh, my God, the pH is stuffed. just thinking about getting the pH back a bit. Oh, my God, the pH is stuffed. Yeah, the plant mate did have to pay for it. Good. Yeah. Oh, another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag.

Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left. No, sorry. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that. Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review

and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.