ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 23rd January 2024

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

Butter Chicken in Court  Top 6: Clothing  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan's Expensive Day  Hayley & Aquaman  Do you not sound your age?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show Fleshpawn and... Someone slept in. Second week back. Thank God it wasn't me.

I know. The TAB odds were in my favour. It's normally odds on you. You're the one late or sleeping in. I've never been past six though, eh? I haven't been. No. I think I've woken up and freaked out and got here at like five.

Oh no, there was one. Yeah, there was one. Was that a car problem? I feel like that might have been car related. Or a log? You hit a log? Hit that tree on the road that time? That tore the front bumper off my car. That might have been it. I Or a log. You hit a log? Hit that tree on the road that time? That tore the front bumper off my car.

That was... That might have been it. I think so, after that storm. And then there was that other storm where I just literally could not get to work because all the bridges were full. There was once when I slept through my alarm and I got here at like 10 to 6. Yes. So I can safely say I've never been late.

You, on the other hand... Do you remember that time when we did afternoons that you had jet lag and like... Oh yeah. You just could not be awoken. I know, and I woke up like 5 o'clock or 4 o'clock or something. It was really, yeah. And I'd slept for like 16 hours.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the best sleep of my life. Oh my God, I want one of those. Oh, how good are sleeping pills? Put me in a drug and juice coma for a couple of weeks. That'd be great.

Catch up on years of missed sleep. But no, Hayley's not here. Should we try? We've tried calling on speakerphone. I would say we've tried calling we try? We've tried calling on speakerphone. I would say we've tried calling her 20. We've tried Aaron, her fiance. We've tried him 10 times.

I didn't know you guys were scared of Aaron. You guys were like, call Aaron. I was like, here's the number. I'm driving. And you guys were like, no, I'm scared of Aaron. None of us had Aaron's number. And also, I don't want to wake that big man. A slumbering beast.

He's a slumbering beast. He's the BFG. Do they have a landline, Jared? No. No, it's not 2000. It's not the year 2000. Do you remember when you had to have a landline to have the internet? And you were just like, yeah.

Should we try them on ICQ? Uh-oh. On MSN. Hang on. If she answers. She's going to swear on us. She'll swear. So we'll try and negate that.

I've got her on Fine Friends, and she hasn't moved since 7.30 yesterday. Still at home. Unless she's dead. 11 hours ago, yeah. Unless she's dead and she left her phone at home. It does that too. It's weird. Okay, well, it's just us.

Just us for the time being. We'll see. We'll see. Coming up on the show, we've got the top six for you. Yeah, smart clothing. Apparently, it'll be able to talk to other people's smart clothing. This is like shoes. They've kind of got smart shoes to tell you about like your gait

and how you walk and if they're the right shoes for you, et cetera, what you need for shoes. But if you're running on your, if you're Matt Myrana or use your Nike app. Oh yeah,

more accurate. Oh yeah, that you can put the thing in the shoeway. Well, they reckon smart clothing is going to be able to talk to other smart clothing

and other smart appliances around it like targeted advertising. Goodness. Billboards will change when you go past them. Won't there have to be a chip in your clothes and then you have to put your clothes in the wash? Will it be waterproof? They think of everything.

They do, they think of everything. So I've got the top six things your clothing will be saying about you. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Taylor Thursday start in two days. Our first one this Thursday from six. Every Taylor Swift song you hear gives you a chance to go in the drawer to see her live in Sydney flights, accommodation and tickets.

An American school has trialled the removal of mirrors in hallway bathrooms because Gen Alpha, which are after Gen Z, currently in school. These would be like the same age as your kids. Yeah, a little bit older, but mostly younger. Okay. They're taking the bathroom mirrors out because children will leave class during class time. Excuse me, Miss, need to go to the toilet. Excused.

Do they still have to ask and put their hand up? Probably not. Probably not, okay. Maybe they do the T sign or I don't know. Right. Then they're leaving and they go to the bathroom and they're filming

TikTok videos just because they've just been taken by the moment. Yeah, right. Got an idea for a good TikTok? Yeah, sort of

the modern Shakespeare. They might be studying Shakespeare in English. Yeah. And of course, everybody knows the modern Shakespeare is TikTok.

The modern Globe Theatre is TikTok. It really is, yeah. The app. So they'll get out there and they'll film TikTok videos and skincare routines. Right.

During class. In the bathroom. Okay. Yes. So they've taken, they're trialling taking the mirrors out. Right.

Yeah. But how will they, I mean, do you really need, you want to know if you've got some lunch in your teeth though. Yeah.

Or you've got to see that on their phone. You should use your selfie camera. Yeah. Okay. Which now that they've removed the mirrors, it leaves the perfect spot to put your phone to film yourself. Yeah. It's not going to stop them, is it?

But I guess you want to hold the phone and use the mirror as the selfie lens. Maybe the mirrors have good lighting too. Like, you know, like the LED mirrors. Yeah, what they want to do, while they're on this buzz, they want to take the mirror out of finance companies' bathrooms. Not lie them down flat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because they'll take them off, they'll lie them down flat

and they'll chop up their icing sugar. The schools need to do what they do in, you know, in some public toilets in cities, they have the blue lights to stop people doing drugs because you can't see the veins. They need to find an unflattering light for TikTok. Yeah, they need to find like a really dim lighting or... Are fluoro lights bad?

What? Fluoro lights are terrible for videos. Because it flickers? It flickers. Flickers your videos. Yeah, that's good. That's cool. Going back to those old bulb flickery fluoro lights, not your LEDs.

Yep. Make your videos look rubbish, and then they can't film them in there. Yeah, that's a good idea. Unless that aesthetic becomes cool. Yeah, then they'll work out their fluoro aesthetic. They'll find a loophole. They'll find a way around.

They'll find a way around. Say what you want. Smart little generation. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Still no Hayley. We believe still asleep. She's not responding to our myriad of phone calls. Or Aaron, her fiancé's phone, going unanswered also.

Yeah. But as we've discussed, he's the sort of guy likely to turn his phone off and charge it in the kitchen overnight. In the pantry like a mum does. Yeah, turn off the Wi-Fi at night too. Could we just send someone out? Does anyone have Craig's number? Craig's dad's there too. Well, P off the Wi-Fi on mine too. Could we just send someone out? Does anyone have Craig's number? Craig's dad's there too.

Well, Patsy quite often listens to the show. This is a very early hour for Patsy. Yeah, well, when Patsy, do you have Patsy on Facebook? I don't. Because normally you're all over the mums. You're chatting to all the mums. You know me. You're always chatting to Carwin's mum.

The old dog, yeah. Catherine's a very special lady. I know, I know. So I just maybe, yeah. Okay, well, we'll update you there in due course, whenever Hayley wakes up. The High Court of Delhi has heard a case, a court case. This happened last week.

News is coming out of this, the last couple of days. They've heard a court case on who invented butter chicken because there is a dispute over who invented the famous dish. Because there is an Indian name for butter chicken, right? Like, I always thought butter chicken and tikka masala were British inventions. Yeah, I always thought that too, but maybe not. Maybe they were stolen by the British. Murg Mahani.

Murg Mahani. Murg Mahani. That's not the inventor. That is the traditional name for the butter chicken. Yes. So according to one of the applicants, so there are basically two proprietors of restaurants, and they're both arguing and claiming they were first. So it comes down to,

I thought this must have been a regional, like Dali was saying it's ours, Bombay were like incorrect. There's a restaurant chain called Moti Mahal, I believe it's said, excuse me if I'm saying that wrong they've claimed that their predecessor invented the butter

chicken and that the other restaurant chain is misleading people with their claim that their predecessor invented butter chicken. So it's just this big... Who did it? Because I've got here on the butter chicken Wikipedia page, Kundan Lal Guraj. Oh my God, I shouldn't have even tried that really, shouldn't I?

So is that 1948? Yes. Yeah, so that's what they're claiming. So the applicants are saying that their father-in-law began to make the dish in 1920 in a province which is now in Pakistan. So he moved to New Delhi and opened the first restaurant called, I believe it's Dara Yaganj. Okay, because I'm reading here the founder of the restaurant

changed Moti Mahal Deluxe. Yeah, so that's there. That was a hotel, wasn't it? I'm just going on. In 1948. Yeah. Yeah, so there are two stories here and both claim that they invented it.

I like this a lot. Yeah, and so now it's gone to court. This guy they reckon also invented paneer, makhani, and tandoori chicken. This dude invented tandoori chicken? One man should not have this many fantastic inventions. I know. He's a culinary genius.

Yeah. Well, the judge has asked him to respond in written statements, and this will be back for a further hearing on May 29. So this is a drama in 2024 we all needed. Who invented butter chicken? I like it. I like it a lot. Yeah, there was a 2,700 page suit filed in Delhi High Court over this.

So they're taking this very seriously. I wonder if he knew he was just supplying the easiest to order basic bitch dish for people when they go to... I take great offence to that As well you should. And I know that was targeted at me. Very much so. You and you alone. You can't beat a good

butter chicken. Well, you can. You can. With a substandard tikka masala, a Rogan Josh. It's the go-to meal. It's delicious. It's too creamy. It's yum, but it's... Hello! Well, well, well. Here we go

Hayley's just messaged Me and Liam's dealing gary I'm gonna call her I'm gonna call her Live on the radio On speakerphone Here we go Here we go

Your call has been Oh She's awake And declining calls And declining calls. Wow, well. How long is it going to take her to get in? Half an hour?

She's typing another message. Typing another, okay. My alarm still didn't go. I didn't know how that effing happened. Well, she didn't answer her phone when we rang 200 times. Well, that just says that we're not on her favourites list. And I think that hurts the most. That's what hurts the most.

Jamming everything into the car quickly. Well, she's got a photo shoot today too, so I can close it off. This is a great day for her to absolutely be unprepared

leaving the house. And looking absolutely rinsed. Yeah. All right, there we go. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. State Insurance have released

the weirdest claims they had in their books. Yep. I bet there were some claims that they didn't release publicly because... Because why? Filth. Oh, right. Like filth.

Like somebody who's Satisfyer Pro setting the curtains on fire. Oh, yep. That kind of filth? Yep, yep, yep. Yeah. Burned a hole in the carpet. Something like that. What an eye.

Because they've got those lithium batteries in them, right? And those are the ones that you're always hearing about, just like you leave them on the charger too long and they pop off. Right. Well, you want to, but then you've got to carry those on if you're going on holiday. Yeah, that's true, you do. Otherwise, you get to your destination and TSA or whatever,

AVSEC have gone into your suitcase and taken your satisfier. Sons of guns. So these are the insurance claims. A dog crashed a vehicle. I thought this yesterday as I piled the dog into the car, and I turned the car on and turned on the air conditioning because it was very hot. Yeah.

And then went back in to get a child and some other stuff. Yeah. I was like, imagine if the dog, Richie's very excitable, jumps forward and just hits the... Accelerator. Even if he just knocked the gear into drive, and it would just be like, and just push against the car.

Yeah, fence up against, flip the car, who knows. But apparently a dog managed to take a van, it's park brake off, and it rolled backwards down a driveway across the road and smashed into a car across the road. So they said that was the dog. A peacock, someone's got a pet peacock, which is a dumb idea. Have you ever seen a peacock shit? It's equivalent to a toddler. Is it? Huge.

Like big patties. Huge. Young. Splatty patties. And aren't they quite annoying and aggressive? Very aggressive. Well, that's what this peacock did. It walked into the bathroom. It saw itself in the mirror, thought it was another peacock and just went crazy. Smashed the mirror and like made a real

mess in the bathroom. Oh wait, and that was an insurance claim? That was an insurance claim. Well, mirrors can be expensive. Yeah. Somebody put their false teeth in their pocket while they were eating brunch. Yeah. Because, I don't know, every now and then my granddad would do that if it was a soft enough meal, he'd take his teeth out for the

meal. Yeah, well you don't want to leave them on the table. That's a bit gross to everybody involved. So they put it in their pocket, went to the bathroom, came back, someone had stolen the jacket and thus the teeth. Oh, they stole it. Okay. Well, gone. Lots of stories about New Zealanders driving in jandals, even in summertime.

See, I know that it's illegal to drive in bare feet. But bare feet is safer than jandals. Bare feet to me is safer than jandals or burks or anything. Every time. And a tradie made a big claim on all of his tools because somehow the tailgate of the ute came down when he was driving home. I want to hear about the people that had to claim a windscreen because a hammer fell out of a ute

and bounced off the road and up through their windscreen. Oh, yeah. Because if they were driving, you know. And tools just flying everywhere. Bouncing around. And the tools were coming out. So, to be honest, I was hoping for a bit more. I was hoping for a bit more on the insurance.

I was hoping for a bit more devastation. Yeah. But then maybe they don't want to kind of. Tell me the stories about the people that went away and on the first day they went away, the fuse for the fridge and freezer popped. Yes. And they came back three weeks later

in the stifling heat and you know, all their mince and sausages had defrosted and gooed out all over the floor of the kitchen. Jared, producer Jared's telling me it's not illegal to drive in bare feet. I always thought it was. Nah, it's not. And you can drive in jambles too. No, I'm on the driving test website.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I'd never heard that so I googled it and it was false. And I'm on the driving test website Oh okay I'd never heard that so I googled it And it was false And I'm misleading the public No I'm sure when you did the old Back in the day it was Yeah but it's changed since the 1820s guys Yeah well we used it

You'd be foolish not to ride in your riding boots Because of course if the horse pulling your wagon Stood on your toe you'd lose a toe Oh I always thought it was. It's a highly Googled question. Yeah. Yeah, it's not. Goodness me.

If you're allowed to. The Canterbury, I'm just loading up a Facebook post from six years ago. Granted, think of driving a barefoot or jandals. Think again. Whilst not illegal, we strongly recommend driving in comfortable shoes with grippy soles to ensure you have maximum control over the pedals. Leave your jandals to the again. Whilst not illegal, we strongly recommend driving in comfortable shoes with grippy soles to ensure you have maximum control over the pedals. Leave your jandals to the beach. That was six years ago for the...

Yeah, right. Yeah, see, jandals are way more dangerous than violets. Bare feet over jandals. Yeah. Any time. Like, they're so slippery. Crocs. I would put the croc in four-wheel drive mode.

Strap it back. Put your strap on. Strap it back for extra support before driving in crocs. It's such a thick heel, though. It's a thick... Don't like driving with, like, strap it back. Put your strap on. Strap it back for extra support before driving across. It's such a thick heel though. It's a thick heel. Don't like driving with like a thick heel. So comfortable. Such a comfortable. God, they've won you over haven't they? You've changed.

They've really won me over. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. This is theD. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Well, standalone 5G. You thought the last one was bad for mind control and microchips.

Standalone 5G. Remember when people were trying to burn down 5G towers? During the pandemic. Wasn't that long ago. Nah. Yeah. Wild. Standalone 5G can connect to more devices. It means that not only will it be able to connect

more people with phones, it can connect to more things. Okay. A futurist has said that that means chips in things like shoes, clothes. At the very start, you know, that's just the beginning. Just a chip in everything

Your water bottle My water bottle It would tell you How much water you're drunk Oh yeah right Anything Anything Anything

It sounds like maybe I won't lose as many clothes You know when you lose Your favourite hoodie You're like Where is that My favourite sweatshirt You're just like

I miss that You'd know where it is You'd be able to track it A chip in it Everything You'd go into that Find my app on your phone And usually it's just like If I miss that. You'd know where it is. You'd be able to track it. A chip in it. Everything. You'd go into that find my app on your phone and usually it's just like if you've got a couple of those ear tags.

Or you've got a late work colleague. You can see where she's at. I can see her right now. And if she's got a chip in her pajamas you can press wake up and it would electrocute her awake. For example. Oh god, she's making some great progress. I'll tell you what, she's lead foot Sproul. She who just joined us. Hayley

has slept in this morning. She wants to watch that. Yeah. She wants to watch that speed. So they're saying all your clothes will be chipped, all your clothes will be talking to other people's clothes, your shoes. Is it a bit creepy? Are you going to get targeted advertising

when you're just walking down the street? Well, they think so because they'll know it's you. So yeah, if there's a billboard. Because they already have some billboards, the electronic billboards have cameras that look at cars, right? That they say can scan your car and then match that to data? I don't know. But in America, I remember we were on the highway

and we saw these cars driving around with these weird things on the roof. We Googled it and it literally sends you advertising to your smartphone if you're within Cooee of there. Really? Yeah. It'll say, like, next turn off. There's a cafe in 100 metres. You'll be like, ooh, okay.

And that thing gets a signal and just knows where you are and pumps out super local advertising. Right. So I've got the top six things your clothing will tell other people about you. Number six on the list, sweaty gooch alert. Oh, yeah, okay. It'll let you know, but it might let other people know as well. It's been quite humid the last couple of days.

Oh, you know. You can kind of feel it. You know. You know you've got a sweaty gooch. You've got the drip down the inner thigh. You're like, oh, yeah, that's a sweaty gooch. Number five on the list of the top six things your clothing will say about you. It'll let everybody know that it is totally your feet that smell.

Oh, yeah. When there's a few people you're not quite sure who it is, it'll know. It'll tell all the other shoes. Shoe to tell you? Because some people don't know. They don't... A guy walked past me at the gym the other day. Absolute B.O. I was like, how do you not smell this?

Had he been there for ages or had he arrived stanky? He'd been doing a cycle class. I always find you don't smell whilst you're sweating. It's when it starts to dry. And I've been sitting there for a while, but the smell really kicks in. Number four on the list of the top six things your clothing will be able to tell you, and probably some other people, you dribble a little bit when you've finished your wee.

There's a little bit of dribble on the inside. Or your breakfast or your food. Yeah, or dribbling up down the door. That's very easy to see. You don't need to chip in your clothes to see that. A t-shirt might be able to tell you to change, because you're too smelly or you're dribbled up down the top. Well, that's very easy to see. You don't need a chip in your clothes to see that. And so your T-shirt might be able to tell you to change because you're too smelly or you're dribbly. It could say you're wet in these regions.

Okay. We predict BO. Number three on the list of the top six things your clothing will tell you and others around is that you were the one that farted. No denying it there. Number two on the list of the top six things your clothing will say about you. Perhaps it can warn you about your chafing before chafing occurs. Oh, okay. That would be handy. Yeah.

And number one on the list of the top six things your clothing will tell everybody else about you. You're horny. I don't know. Your temperature goes up. Does it just feel a bit of resistance? There's some tightening in some areas. There's some tightening, right. Yeah, and it knows. Oh, it knows. That's today's top six.

Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, it knows. That's today's top six. Well, Stanley Cups, all the rage. We were just talking about this. This Stanley thing blows my mind. I thought it was a new brand. It's not. It's the Stanley Tool brand, right? They've been doing flasks and thermoses and stuff.

Your grandma, this is the other thing. Your grandma probably has a Stanley Flask yeah you'd be so stoked if your brand was all of a sudden really cool and people were camping outside your stores

just to buy a drink bottle yeah I mean I guess like we were saying similar thing with Crocs right yeah Crocs were like

I don't know what were they were they just like they were a joke right surely they didn't start a company and think we're a joke no they were like we're just like this comfortable were a joke. Right. Surely they didn't start a company and think we're a joke.

No, they were like, we're just like this comfortable, foamy shoe. And like nurses were like... For gardeners. Yeah, they were a gardening shoe. And then Bieber's like, these are the best. And everyone's like, we agree. We agree. And now, Team Vaughn, you're all about the croc.

I'll slide on a croc. Well, I mean, Frank, I feel like... 1913, Stanley... Yeah. William Stanley Jr. Been around a while. Invented the flask. He fused vacuum insulation and the strength of steel

in one portable bottle, inventing the all-steel vacuum bottle that we know and love today that we probably grew up calling Thermoses. Yeah. Because I think the Thermos brand was bigger in New Zealand. Because they're a Yeti. I've got a Yeti drink bottle.

And see, this is a warning for these myriad of drink bottles, whether it's Frank Green, Yeti, Stanley, whatever, that apparently the straws are really bad for young teeth. So dentists and doctors. Any straw, any like, because it shapes the mouth, right? It like pulls the teeth out. Because you're adversely affecting tooth position with developing jaws. And also, children using a straw too often can cause changes in teeth positions.

But also like, even if you're not, even if you are an adult and you've developed your teeth, like you, if you're pursing your lips with a straw, it's like smoking, you know those old birds that you can tell have smoked for all their life? Yeah. Because they've just got gushes of wrinkles on their lips. So you're pursing your lips, and you're going to have wrinkly lips

if you're always sucking out of a straw. Let alone the fact that I'm on the Stanley website, the Winterscape Quencher H2O Flow State Tumbler, which is a Stanley Cup, $50 US. Oh, my God. Yeah, they're not cheap. Now, the girlies, I believe, what, you're team Frank Green? Yes.

But you've got the straws as well, so you're... Yeah. Are you worried about the wrinkly lips in your 40s? They're a thicker vessel. Like, the straw's a bit wider, so you're not... Nah, but you still wrap the mouth around that. Yeah, but my little trick is I just slip it to the side, you know? And then the way that Carlin showed me is she doesn't really suck as hard.

She's like... Loosely puts her mouth around it. Loosely. And I feel like you dribble a lot because you're not sucking in as much. No, no, no. Whereas the drink bottle I got, the Yeti, which I'm team Yeti. It's great. It's got a, they call it a gulp hole or whatever.

What the hell is that? It's like, it's like a, what would you describe this? They call it a gulp. A teat. No, it's like a opening a, it's like a normal bottle hole. I would say it is the equivalent, if you were a baby, that is to scale your mother's nipple.

No, it's not. It is. It 100% is. But it's just like opening any kind of bottle, like a Coke bottle. It's like a fresh up bottle. Yeah.

Size lid. Yeah. You've got, and then you don't, you can just drink it like you're drinking out of a bottle and you don't, you get wrinkly lips.

There's mummy issues there, I reckon. Guzzle holes. A guzzle hole or a guzzle hole or something like that. Guzzle tip. A guzzle tip. Yuck. Well, look, I won't have wrinkly lips. Well, I'm just going to buy anti-wrinkle straws.

What are anti-wrinkle straws? They're like sideways and they have a little. What? They're sideways? Yeah. The straw, instead of coming straight up, it goes out to the side and then it has a little cut-out hole in the middle that you just... Oh, so now you're like a guinea pig in its thing.

You put it upside down and you go... No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, kind of. Yeah, you push the ball in with your tongue and get a little hydration at once. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, it all starts Thursday. Taylor Thursday is going to do this for four weeks

and we're going to chuck in a bunch of Taylor songs to give you so many chances. So make sure you're listening for Taylor Thursdays. This Thursday, we kick it off. Let me tell you, ZM, great station. Wow, she's here. Great station. Were you just listening?

I was listening. I was laughing. Listening to the show. I was having fun. Oh, great. I don't think you need the girl. Do you just listening? I was listening. I was laughing. Listening to the show. I was having fun. Oh, great. I don't think you need the girl. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think your mortgage needs it.

Good bouncing between the two of you. Does your mortgage need it? Yeah, I don't know why I'm talking myself out of a job. Good morning. Thank you for joining us in studio in real life. Yeah, it's good. I reset my phone and it turned all my alarms off. You feel so much better getting up at 6.15 than 6.15.

I was going to say, a couple of hours extra there. I feel fresher than both of you. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, well I'm hoping to bring that energy to the rest of the show. Please do. Yeah, great. And yeah. We were thinking that would take your hour of pay from when you weren't here and go to the cafe afterwards for a brunch.

Do you know what? That's fair. That feels fair. God, and you are paid a lot. We could probably get the big breakfast. We're thinking of going to a posh restaurant. Yeah, a posh restaurant. Yeah, well, let's break it down. We'll break down the hours and see. Right, yeah.

What's two hours? It's a lot. It's a lot, isn't it? I've sort of created quite a good chunk of content, though, haven't I? As I said to my mum when I just rung her, she was like, am I not listening to you on the radio? I said, well, obviously you're not,

because you'll know that I am not there. Not there yet. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Well, yesterday, and this is just a bit of advice for anybody who wants to just throw some money into the wind and never see it again. Oh, okay. I had to take a dog.

NFTs? Is it NFTs? Well, I'm still sitting on mine. Let's see. Yep. Long-term investment. That's what everybody famously said about NFTs. That's right.

Hold on to them. It's a long-term investment. I took a dog to the vet and a child to the doctor. Oh, money gone. Oh, yeah. Your money gone. Bye, money. Money gone.

To be told what I knew. Oh, okay. The child wasn't drinking enough water. He's a doctor and a vet now. No, this is- Hydrocortisone. I'm the parent. So the first thing-

Exactly. The first thing I have to say to a child is, how much water have you drunk? Yep. Have you been poos? Have you been poos? Yeah. When was the last time you did poos? Yeah. That's what I say to them. Yeah. Yesterday. Is it? So no poos today? No poos today. I was like, how much water have you been drinking? Heaps.

Now that's not to be believed. Right. Heaps. They wouldn't know how much water they're drinking. But don't they all have a Stanley drink bottle now? Yeah, but they don't get the headaches yet. You know when you're an adult and you're like, I haven't drunk enough water because I've got a throbbing headache. They don't get that. It manifests in other ways.

And I was like, I personally just don't think she's drunk enough water. What would I know? Might as well book her in for a doctor's appointment and throw however much, what was that, 80-something bucks into the water? Wait, aren't kids free at the doctor? Nah, there was some other, I don't know, there was something. There was definitely a bit of financial. Oh my god. And then the dog, he gets hot.

Yeah. I'm like, we just need to put the dog somewhere cold. Yeah. But he gets hot heat spots. Which dog? Richie. Right. Heat spots. What do you mean? Because he's like a golden retriever and he's got a thick coat. Yeah, right. And then he gets like a bit. Imagine getting, humans get them as well,

and then you get a bit and you itch it, and then you just keep itching it. Yeah, I get it. Sweat rash. Yeah, yeah, effectively sweat rash for dogs. But then they won't stop licking it and touching it. Yeah. And so you've got to shave the spot and expose that

and then put some cream on it, which has hydrocortisone in it. So just go and do it. That's just an active ingredient for all species. Yeah. I didn't speak ingredient for all species. Yeah. I didn't speak for the reptiles. Yeah. I won't speak on behalf of the reptiles. I don't know if you could hydrocortisone cream a lizard, an iguana.

No, because they like to be dry. Yeah. They froth on dryness. Yeah. They'd probably get cold spots. And then you know what? Who is that? Hydrocortisone.

Hydrocortisone. Magic cream, that is. So that was a $300. What the hell? Wait, but did it need to go? It obviously did need to go. We just got more of the cream we already had. But we did get some steroids. That's why I'm looking jacked this morning.

I was going to say, actually. I was like, the dog doesn't really need to look jacked. Yeah, but now they shrink your penis. That's fine. How much more are you going to get, you know? It'll go in. You know, it'll sort of start reversing itself. Waste not, want not?

I don't think that works. I don't know if that adheres to here. That's just a great way that the warm weather screwed me personally. Right, okay. Neat. Pets say they really cost a lot. I'm going to go out and say I think pets cost as much as children.

Yeah, it's that. And you've got all of them. All of them. You've got a lot of pets. I've got pets and children. I honestly do think pets cost as much as children. It's a big decision to get a pet. Our dogs would probably cost as much to feed as our kids.

Our kids aren't huge eaters. Because did you see, I think I heard on the radio, my favourite way of receiving news, yesterday that the SPCA is doing like half price adoptions because it's a very busy kitten season and now it's kind of people aren't buying them at the moment because like Christmas is over and all that. And everyone's like, doesn't have any money.

No one's got any money. But I was, they did make a little note of being like, look, we really need you to adopt these if you have thought about it long and hard because it is so expensive. Raleigh got in that fight and had an abscess on his neck and that cost like $700 all up. It's nuts.

Wow. He didn't even get hit by a car or anything like that. That's the good work, I don't mean to. Yeah. I just realised I didn't see them. By saying how expensive it is. I want to say, because in that SPCA story, it said they had pigs. Now, I'm... You don't mean to Yeah Guys realize I didn't feed them By saying how expensive it is I want to say Because in that SPCA story It said they had pigs

Now I'm You don't eat pigs I'm a maximum pig I'm a maximum pig But I was Well then don't torture yourself By looking at the pigs No I was going to promote the pigs

As a wonderful pet Because I honestly think Of all of the animals Do they bring you the most joy? They bring me endless joy They are so cute They're so silly They don't lay eggs

They don't lay eggs. If a pig laid eggs, nice bacon eggs. But a chicken is so good. Imagine a bacon egg. You take the shell off and it's just this thing of bacon. Like a scotch egg. It's a scotch egg but a bacon egg. Oh, yum.

Oh, my God, yum. A hybrid of sorts. Yeah, your chickens and your pigs, they're the number ones. Pigs are awesome. They're like a dog that lives in the paddock. I was just going to say what breed they are because I can speak to Cooney Coonies. Such a cool breed. Yeah, they're great. I did stand on my foot once, though.

You were picking it up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it hurts. I know, it really hurts. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley's. Fletchford and Hayley's silly little pose. Silly little pose. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole,

silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Man on board. Silly little pole. Where do you stand for the luggage carousel? I'm sorry. Wow, sorry. Where do you stand for the luggage carousel? Right where the bags Wow, sorry. Where do you stand for the luggage carousel?

Right where the bags pop out when they come out of the little butcher's plastic flaps. Yep. Or wait for it to come around. I like international when it comes down the slide. Do you know that? Oh, and there's two ramps and you don't know which one is coming out of? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I was going to say.

Having been in a few airports, the double ramps. Yeah. That throws you because you don't know where to stand. Oh, you bastard. And then I'll always put the wrong one. That's just Murphy's Law for me. I like to stand sort of near where it's coming out, but not right at the front like the a-holes who are there just pushing through.

No, that's me. I'm the a-hole. I push through and I'm right there. I'm right there. I'm right there. I want my bag straight away and then I'm out of there. This is wild we are so in the minority

really 15% of people will stand right where the bags pop out 85% will just wait for it to come around I don't what do you love

the airport so much especially at the it's so busy Auckland airport they have done a lot of work to make lines quicker like tip of the hat

to them like when I went through tip of the hat what year is it well I'm wearing a hat he's flying on the Zeppelins 1819 I'm done a lot of work to make lines quicker, like tip of the hat to them. Like when I went through... A tip of the hat? What year is it? Well, I'm wearing a hat. He's flying on the Zeppelins. 1819. I'm wearing a hat.

I'm wearing a cap. Wow, we're about to go. I want to go on Zeppelin adventures. Tip of the hat to you, good boy. Tip of the hat. They really like getting people through, but that's why you want to get your bag first, is that you're in those massive lines of declaring a bag or not.

You want to be in there. Yeah. I'm right by the chute. 85% of people are just waiting for it to come around. Because Auckland Airport has some really long ones. Also, you've got to grab the bag international. You've got to grab the bag and then get through the next part. You want to get through that next part because it's possible.

Some people stand right near the end. It's like, what are you doing? Maybe they don't have much to look forward to in life. And the bag arriving is the highlight of the day. When they're bagged to have a fun ride? When they leave the airport, it's all downhill. I've got drugs in life. And the bag arriving is the highlight of the day. With their bag to have a fun ride? Yeah. When they leave the airport,

it's all downhill. I've got drugs in there. I want them to have a good time. Zenobia, friend of the show. Chicago-based friend of the show. It just depends on

how crowded the carousel is. If no one's around, then I'm at the start. But if it's busy, I'll just find a spot, wait for it, and sometimes it's near the end. Oh, no.

Get in there. I've got to get in there. Aisha, I've heard you talk about people walking off with the old suitcase. So now no one will get the chance to snag mine before me because I'm right there. Yeah. If I'm not right at the start, I'll hawk eye it the whole time. Right. Make sure someone's not going to grab it.

Yeah, take your bag. Hannah says, at the end, right before it goes back into the portal to the other lands, because no one stands there usually and it's quiet, less chance of missing it. Missing it? You can see it any time along the journey. Get off your phone, you know, look up. You know Wellington Domestic Airport? Yes.

Where it comes out and does the big penis. Snakey wakey. It is a penis. It's a big penis. It's a big penis. It does a big penis and then goes back in and tucks in for the balls. Yep. wakey. It is a penis. It's a big penis. It's a big penis. It does a big penis and then goes back in and tucks in for the balls.

Yep. Christchurch has got a penis too. Christchurch has a penis but it comes out from the balls and then goes under the side of the penis and then back on the top of the penis. Whereas Auckland

is also domestic a little nubbly penis as well. Kind of a wedge shaped one. It's a wibbly wobbly penis. It's more like big pointy boobies. It comes out and it goes whoop and then back in. Do you think they're doing this on purpose to make us giggle?

I think so. Which one should this one have? The Wellington one, you come down the stairs and then everyone stands at the tip of the penis. Whereas New Plymouth has got a little tiny, flat as a surfboard. It's very flat, but it's smaller. I'm just trying to think of a new one you can look like. No, it just comes straight out. It's like a conveyor belt.

Yeah. So everybody in Wellington stands at the tip. Yeah. And then they'll see their bags coming. Move to it.

From the balls. Move to it. It's a very busy point at the tip of You don't want to mess at the top. You don't want to spend too long there.

Gather at the tip. Spread down the shaft. Yeah. Spread out. And if you see your bag, move to it. If you're thinking of Wellington, I'll wait right by the ball.

And you can always smell the Subway bread. It's all very, it's a lot. It's all happening. It's a lot. It's all happening. Yeah. The bread, the balls. Some more feedback.

Del says, I'm currently traveling around Europe. I know, it must be nice. Must be nice. And I swear to God, the bags do not come faster, even if you're still on the carousel. Take a step back, hon. Oh, so she's saying she's getting sick of people. What's that saying? A watch kettle never boils.

A watch pot never boils. A watch pot never boils. Black, call it kettle black or whatever. But it does. Yeah, it does. Calling the kettle black is what you're thinking of. A watch pot never boils. Yeah, that's it.

You've done a sort of combination. A combination there. Yeah, so it still worked. Liam says, where the bags pop out is always busy. So either a lot of people are lying on

this poll or more likely FVH listeners are a better class of people who are the heroes who stand back and wait. For the record, I also stand back and wait.

Liam? You don't want to be a pushover. Yeah. Nah. But you don't want to be an a-hole. But that's why I'm

there first. I'm there. I'm coming. That's why I just said you when I said a-hole. Yeah. Not wrong. Kelly don't want to be an a-hole. But that's why I'm there first. I'm there. That's why Jason's you when I said a-hole. Yeah. Not wrong. Kelly would like to know also how close people stand to the carousel.

There is a line that you should stand behind. Ah, don't worry about the line. Oh, what a nerd. Stand back and wait or do you crowd to the front so no one else can get through because those are the worst sorts of people, says Kelly. I might hover around the line and as soon as I see my bag, I'll go over the line. Cross the line. I'll cross the line then. As close as I can effing get, says Shannon.

I didn't work this hard to get Gold Elite to wait behind everybody else. Oh! Must be nice! Move, bitches! I'm here for my priority bags. Orange heart. Oh, okay. Orange heart. She wouldn't even change priority sticker. She wouldn't even check because her red heart. Orange heart. Oh, okay. Orange heart. She wouldn't even

change priority sticker. She wouldn't even check if it's a red heart. Far out. That feels pointed. She's good, eh? I just wanted to see what my status is

because I think I'm slipping a bit. Are you still a Jade? Never been anything else other than a man and a people. Common. Commoner.

Hayley says, only psychopaths wait right at the beginning. And most embarrassing thing, the beginning and most embarrassing thing says Kristen most embarrassing thing is being an airline loyalty member with a priority baggage

and your bag doesn't come out till last a slice of humble pie has been served well we have that when we travel together because Karwin doesn't have she's a jade like born

she's a jade like born yeah she's not koru we have to wait for her her bag to come out and we're always like oh maybe we'll head off. Yeah. We'll see you in half an hour or whenever they...

Whenever your bags come out. Release the poor people's bags. Oh, my God. You can tell. Because it's when those plastic woven red, white and blue bags with the shitty zips start coming out. Do you know that some airlines have banned those? I am not surprised.

Those zips. You look at that zip the wrong way and it's like, I love those. Do you know that some airlines have banned those? I am not surprised. Those zips. You look at that zip the wrong way and it's like, I give up. But they're like such a handy $2 suitcase. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. They're perfect. Now, Saltburn. We all watched Saltburn over the holiday period.

And it is a lot. It's a big watch. Do you know what's interesting? Because it got nominated for a lot of, like, Emmys and whatnot, that some of the scenes with, what's his name? Barry Keegan. Is it Kogan or Keegan? Kogan.

Kogan. Kogan. It's like Phil Kogan. Yeah. Phil Kogan, host of the Amazing Race. Well, some of those scenes were like improvised. Like he took them further than even. Like the grave scene?

I think the grave was much improvised. Okay. And the scene at the end with the mum. That wasn't improvised that bit, but the climbing on was improvised. Right. I love. It was just so different. Yeah, and it was so beautifully shot. It was the climbing on was improvised. Right. I love, it was just so different. Yeah, and it was so beautifully shot.

It was like a little work of art. Yeah. Anyway, there's one scene in which Jacob Elordi, Elodie, Elordi, has a bath. And in the bath, he decides to have a little bit of self-pleasure, a little bit of fun. Which, of all the things that happen in the movie, that's my biggest problem with the entire film. Really? That's the grossest part of the entire film.

You don't play with yourself in the bath? Speak for yourself, Forbes. Yeah, I mean... Women. Women, different situation. There's no... Yeah. It's not the same.

I know. And were there any showers in that mansion? There wasn't a shower. I didn't see that he'd hop out of the bath and have a shower. Because even after I have a bath, I always hop out and have a rinse in the shower. No, I don't. What's the point of that?

You're just relaxing in the bath. Especially if you're not playing with yourself. In your own soup. Yeah, I think you are in your own soup. You don't have a bath to clean yourself, though. You have a bath to just relax. That's what I'm saying. Then you hop out of the shower and you rinse off.

Oh, no. It must be nice having a double clean. God, no respect for the water. I'm just living out here, you know. Yeah. So he plays with himself in the bath, and then he gets to the end of his pleasure session, which we all know what happens if you own a willy,

and then he lets the – and Barry Keegan, Kogan's – Kogan? Are we going with Kogan? Yes. Kogan's character is watching him while he does this, and he's a little bit obsessed with him, isn't he? And at the end, Jacob's character drains the bath, and just before it's sort of all finished draining,

God, I'm dancing around this, Barry Kogan's character hops into the bath and... Yeah, I don't think we need it. Yeah. Yeah. For those that have seen the movie... It has a little... It's a, yeah.

Refreshes the palate, shall we say. Disgusting. Now, the set designer and the sort of, like, creative team behind it revealed a few things about this bath scene. One, that it was really hard to find a clawfoot bath because they're typically old. Yeah.

Clawfoot bath that was large enough for Jacob because he's six foot five. Oh, wow. Okay. So he's huge. And then- Somebody, I just saw a thing before, described him as Timothy Chalamet

if he had had all the nutrients and water he'd required while growing up. That's spot on. That is so true That is good Going to a strapping strong young man Yeah Because he's Australian isn't he

Yep Yeah I always forget that I know I know Why all day When we were watching it I don't know him

Was he on Euphoria Yeah Yes So I don't know who he was But then Shade is familiar with him Because she watched Euphoria Yes That's how I knew him

He's actually right up a rally And I said So is this guy him because she watched Euphoria. Yes, that's how I knew him. He's actually right up a rally. And I said, oh, so is this guy British? And she's like, no. I was like, oh, is he American? She's like, no. God, she loves it. Pasty white boy, Sade. She does.

Thin ankles. It was Australian. I just couldn't. He nailed those accents. But I thought he was American playing British and nailing the British. How bizarre. I'm a German. And they also had to cut the bathtub in and nailing the British. How bizarre. I'm a good woman. And they also had to cut the bathtub in half to get the shot?

Yes, they had to do that. And then, so they had to make, they made the bath because they couldn't find a clawfoot big enough. So they just made a new clawfoot to fit him because he's so large. And then when it came to making the substance that Barry had to... Slurp. Slurp. There's no other word for it, I'm sorry, that he had to slurp.

They used yoghurt, milk, and water to get the consistency right. That's gross. Because it's in the bath. Yeah, that's disgusting. It's got a lot of water. So that would have been quite good probiotics, though, with the yoghurt. Of course, Greg, but what if it was a mixed berry like a yo plate

oh I don't think babe it didn't have lumps in it didn't it I didn't see any red lumps in that scene that's good that would really

have taken away from the scene passion fruit some little black seeds yeah passion fruit yogurt rules do you think it was

an easy yo did they use an easy yo I think they would have just used a Greek style but not Greek because it's too expensive Greek style

do you know what I mean when you get a Greek style yogurt loophole there for the yogurt industry isn't it yeah Greek style but not Greek because it's too expensive Greek style Greek style do you know what I mean when you get a Greek style yoga loophole there for the yoga industry isn't it yeah Greek style yoga

anyway if you had questions about that scene there's some extra little questions about the whole thing if you haven't seen the movie it's an incredible movie yeah

very British the script is amazing it's beautifully shot it's weird as hell as we have mentioned before not a watch with your parents. Nope. No. Or anybody that you're not sort of like comfortable with.

Yeah, comfortable with. It can be very awkward. Yeah. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, the show thanks to McCafe. You earn MyMackers Rewards points with every barista made McCafe iced coffee. You done? Are you alright? You kind of finished that sentence on a high like you wanted to say something else.

I was reading the line and then it ended and then I went into the next line and then I got real confused. Was the next line not related to the previous line? It's not related, yeah. We've got to space, we need some better spacing here. Is this an issue for Shannon, is it? I'll talk to you. It is on a high, so then we were like waiting. There was nothing more.

I just sent some anticipation there, a pregnant pause. I quite liked the pregnant pause. No, it wasn't a pregnant pause, though, because a pregnant pause would be you would then pick it up again. A suspenseful pause. It was a lost pause, I reckon. Spike it. It was a lost pause.

A lost pause. It's 19 minutes away from 8 A woman has been injured by kombucha This is another reason I'll say Stare clear of the butch Nah the kombucha You've got to get into your fermented foods Why did he come back like this?

He came back from his holiday What happened to you And you're all like I'm getting into my fermented foods this year I'm thinking about making my own kefir Oh it's so hard. It's just easier to buy. What is it?

Kefir lime. No, kefir water and yogurt. It's really good for you. It's a watery yogurt, Vaughan, and it's good for your guts. What do you mean good for your guts? The bacteria. It's a make your poo.

No, good bacteria. Happy gut bacteria. Yeah, good for you. And it just affects everything in your health. Reverses what he does on the weekend, you know what I mean? Takes away some of that sin. So what else is fermented food? Kimchi.

Kimchi is? Yeah, kimchi is really good for you. Sauerkraut? Yeah. Isn't that the same thing? No. Different. No, kimchi is like, is Korean?

Yeah, it's just different regions of fermented cabbage. So it's fermented cabbage. It's the same. No, but kimchi uses spices. Yeah. It uses spices whereas sauerkraut

isn't spiced. It'd be more your black peppers and yeah. But you've got to be careful in summer especially if you're making kombucha

because if you don't crack the lids every day you've got to burp them. You've got to burp them like any kind of didn't your mum have a preserving? Are we allowed to talk about that? Yeah, we can talk about it now. I know she was, her ISIS source. Yeah, that's right. Are we allowed to talk about it?

What, did she not pay tax on it or something? Her ISIS source? No, no, no. No, I think she was just upset by the whole deal. She was like literally, she told us what happened. She's like, this is not, I'm not ready to talk about it. And then a year later when she's like, I'm ready to talk about it, but I'm not ready to talk about it. And then a year later when she's like, I'm ready to talk about it, but I'm not ready to laugh about it.

And now she's like, I'm not even, even now she's not ready to laugh about it. She grows so many tomatoes and she makes a pretty good homemade sauce. Nice. And yeah, one year, I don't know what happened if it was a change in the vinegar she used or what, but the bottle, the fermenting, like one night they were

like, luckily they weren't in the kitchen because they were in bed and they just heard boom, like a bang. And they were like, oh my God, something's exploding. And then boom. Must be ISIS. Boom, boom. And all these things would blow up because you had the sauce all sat in a box. Yes.

One went off and that erupted the next one and they walked into the kitchen and there was just tomato sauce everywhere. That's very funny. Everywhere. And the house, the kitchen smelled like tomato sauce for months. And this is kind of

what happened to this woman. Yeah, she went into the fridge and it was a bottle of kombucha that had been in there, she said, for a long time. No, no, no, no, no, no. And she just grabbed it

to be like, I better chuck this out. And she grabbed it. That was all it took to disrupt the lid and it blew it. She's got it in a cast. She said, the doctor said the only thing it. She's got it in a cast.

She said the doctor said the only thing that saved her ring finger was her wedding ring. Oh, my God. Because it impacted on the ring, took the brunt of the impact. Otherwise, it would have absolutely ruined her finger. Because, yeah, it's fermenting and it's eating itself and it's building up pressure. It's creating carbon dioxide. That's why you've got to give it a little pfft, pfft every day.

Because when you do your own and you bottle it, don't you have one of those things with water in it and a twisty thing that goes... Oh, if you go that hard out. I've made ginger beer, boozy ginger beer that way with the little thing. But on the kombucha, I just put the lid on. You'll just open the jar or the lid every day.

Just a little... Otherwise, yeah, it will explode on you. Yeah, wow. Poor thing. Well, it got us to thinking, when you've been injured by food, the thing that is supposed to sustain life... Try to take it from you. Like when you choke on something tiny and small.

I'll never forget the sound of getting a sheet of ham stuck in my throat. I will never forget the sound. What, like it kind of made a flap over your... Can we call it a slice of ham? No, because it was sheet-like is what made it a problem. Because this was when I was a kid and I remember saying to my best friend, and my throat went...

And this bit of ham, I was like... Yeah, the sound was hilarious. But I was choking. I was choking. And so what, did your friend have to like reach in and grab out the hand? And I swallowed and went down. It was like a second tongue, but further down the throat. Yeah, it was.

And it felt so funny. It felt funny. Okay, well, we want to take your calls. 0800 DARS at M. Call us now. Text through 9696. Are we giving bonus points if you slipped on a banana skin? And what, knocked yourself out on food?

It's just good. It's just good. When did you get injured by food? Maybe you choked on something. Maybe something hard took out a tooth. Yeah. Maybe something exploded. Oh, yeah.

You know when you like drop pasta into the hot water? Oh, no. And it's like, Sometimes it goes a bit bloody. Give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. You can text through 9696. When did you get injured by food? So we want to know when food has injured you. Angela, good

morning. What happened? Oh, we got a bong. We got a bong. Zara, you've been taken out by food? Yes, I have. Okay, so what happened? I was having a lazy day and decided to get a cooked rotisserie chicken from the supermarket. Oh, the bachelor's handbag.

We love that. Yeah, we love those. Yeah, we love them. And picked it up and because of all the pressure from the steam in the bag, it burst open and I got like second to third degree burn on my hand. Oh my God. Oh Lord. Yeah, because if they've just put them in,

it's got the oil from the oven and the juices. Yeah, it's a very wet bag. The greatest event was when they put the handle on the top rather than having to pull it out and put it in a foil bag. Yeah, yeah. When they put them in the bag with the handles. So did you have to go to like to the A&E or something? No. So luckily I've got go to like to the A&E or something? No.

So luckily I've got a few friends that are like nurses. So I was like, help. Yeah. What can we do? Help. I burnt myself on a bachelor's handbag. Thank you for sharing. Libby, when were you injured by food?

Hi. So I stupidly put a boiled egg in the microwave at work. Wait, what do you mean you put a boiled? Was the egg already boiled? So I boiled it and I took it to work and then I went to reheat it in the microwave. Oh, no. Is it peeled when you attempt to reheat it or is it?

Yeah, yeah. And I took it out and I went to cut it with a knife and it just went all over my face, the staff room. Me and my colleague were dying, but we didn't know that that was a thing, like not to put reheat boiled eggs. How many seconds? How long does it reheat?

I would maybe do 10 at the most. I just don't know why you're reheating a boiled egg. All boiled eggs rule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How many seconds was it in the microwave? Oh,

I actually can't remember. You did a minute. You did a minute, didn't you? Yeah, it must have been like 30 or a minute. I feel like you did a minute. I feel like it sounds

like a minute. It sounds like a minute. It needed 20 seconds. Angela, I believe, is back from the bong. We've recovered. Good morning. When did food

into you? Oh, hey,, is back from the bong. We've recovered. Good morning. When did food into you? Oh, hey, this is more like a PSA to other mums. So I was just cleaning the house and I was just rushing through and I saw like a half-drunkened Kerry juice bottle in the garage. Okay. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'll take it to the recycling. And I was on my way and I just took the lid off and it went like shot straight into my eye.

And I did not expect that to happen. It must have been just a combination of the heat in the garage and the apple juice. Because sometimes those plastic bottles, they expand and they're like full of heat and air. Oh my gosh. I just stopped and I was like, oh my gosh, what just happened? And I went to A&E and had some cuts on my eye. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

Just from juice. I mean, I guess that's kind of fermenting. Like a little kid's tiny juice bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's the sugar is fermenting as well, right? And making the gas. Hey, Libby's workmate just text messaged in. She microwaved that egg for two minutes.

Oh! What? That is outrageous. Are you kidding me? Two minutes for an egg? You could cook a bloody whole steak in two minutes in a microwave. Two minutes. Two minutes.

To reheat an already boiled egg. Libby knew it was two minutes. She knew she was going to get it. She was dancing around. She knew she was gone. She knew it. She was like She knew she was going to get it. She was dancing around. She knew it. She was like 30 seconds to a minute. A woman has been taken out by an exploding kombucha bottle.

It has a cast because of it. And we want to know when food has entered you. We're hearing all about the explosions. All about the... Explosions or just someone's texted in with a bloody shocking story. I don't even know if we can say. It wasn't kind of an accident, was it? You call it an accident?

They put an apple up their bottom. The person who put the apple up their bottom didn't message in. Oh, I wouldn't imagine so. The person who had to deal with the apple up the bottom. What, like a nurse or something? Yeah. So it sort of did injure you. Always tie a string.

I will always tie a string when sticking an apple up my butt. And it's why you stick stuff like a shampoo bottle, because you're like, I slipped in the shower. You didn't slip in the fruit bowl, did you? Well, you could slip in the orchard. We might have. Yeah, I work in an orchard. I fell off the cherry picker and just landed on the apple.

And then while I was falling, my pants fell off. I picked my apples naked. My pants got caught on the tree as I came down, so my bare butt was exposed. Way better one. And just got caught on the tree as I came down until my bare butt was exposed. Way better one. And just landed straight on the apple. Katja, when did food enter you? Well, so I absolutely love Macintosh sweets.

Oh, yeah. You know, the popcorn. Yeah, beautiful. Do you like the egg-flavoured one? Egg and cream is the best Macintosh. Oh, no, it's got to be the deluxe I don't like any of these Go for a fruit burst over a Macintosh

No Macintosh rolls I'm with you Well I've had the same thing happen to me On a fruit burst as well And that's why I went for the Macintosh But you know So I'm there eating a packet By myself And so just Turn around and you know, eat in a packet by myself. Yeah. And so just chewing around.

And, you know, when you go, ooh, that feels a bit weird. So I swallow the toffee. And then, you know, you start rooting around your teeth with your tongue. Oh, yeah. With your tongue. With your tongue. It's just the way it sounded so cute. You reach around your teeth with your tongue.

With your tongue. Sorry. Carry on. You've got an accent and I find it amusing. But go on. Oh, so there wasn't just one filling that had gone with this fatal Macintosh. It was two. And it was like a little trip to the dentist and over $1,000.

I've done the same thing with a minty. I've done the same thing with a minty. And it was like a little trip to the dentist and over $1,000. Oh! I've done the same thing with a minty. I've done the same thing with a minty. Yeah, minties are brutal. Those toffees, they'll just pull out fillings. They really will. Yeah, I'm just, just quickly, I've got another story about toffee. Okay.

If you've just tuned in, you've joined us on the toffee hour and we are speaking with special guest Kat Schumann. So you know when you make homemade toffee and then you, if it's ready, you get a bowl of cold water with ice cubes in it and you drip it in. Well, this toffee was pretty special, so I put a big drip. And it seemed to be crunchy on the outside. So I pulled it out, put it in my mouth, bit down, and it was still hot. Oh! Like a tomato, like a larva-y tomato. Your sweet tooth is getting you in a lot of trouble.

Yeah. So toffees, no. Yeah, you might need to go to a Juby Lolly, I think. Yeah, a gummy. Juby Lolly. Thank you, ketchup. A couple of text messages to finish. I slipped on a gherkin and ended up with a string and a slipped disc.

I'm sorry, but you slipped on a gherkin. That's very comedically pleasing to me. I nearly ended up with a bum. I choked on a fishbone when I was younger. Put me off fish for a while. Yeah, right. I remember my mum saying, you've got to be careful of the fishbones. And I was like,

are they the little bits that I'm crunching on my teeth? They're like toenails. Yuck. You can bite through them and then swallow them. My friend's smoothie exploded at bedtime. It hit the roof. The contents got in her eye as she laid in bed. What kind of smoothie did she make?

I don't know. Listen to this. This is bloody. My stepdad was smoking fish and thought that the methylated spirits had burnt out so he went to add more. It hadn't and caught the four litre bottle in his hands on fire. No.

No. Burnt his entire face off. Jesus. Jesus. That's not food injuring you though. That's methylated spirits. But he's cooking the fish. Join us tomorrow for when did methylated spirits trick you? Because it does have an invisible flame

It does Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley Play ZM Chase and Status disconnect on ZM Fletchford and Hayley It's 11 past 8 When you said Chase and Status I thought you said Jason Statham Every time you say Chase and Status

I think you say Jason Statham Well get your ears cleared out I just did Disconnect by Chase and Statham wrong? Every time you say Chasing Status, I think you say Jason Statham. Well, get your ears cleared out. I just did. I put that headphone jack in my ear. Disconnect by Jason Statham. Chasing Status. I just thought you stuffed up saying Jason Statham. You'll disconnect. Or bloody disconnect your face from your neck.

Yesterday. Jason Statham. Speaking of Jason Statham, because Jason, speaking of Jason, that's a better segue. Yeah. I went and saw Aquaman finally yesterday. I know it's crazy that I took so long because it's been in cinemas for like over a month. Yeah, it's been out a while.

But I missed the premiere. I missed it. So I went yesterday. And I know that you guys found it weird that I said that I was going to go watch Daddy with my daddy because my dad's been staying. And I know it's upset you that I said that I was going to go watch Daddy with my daddy because my dad's been staying and I know it's upset you that I said it

and I've said it again. Yeah. But my dad's been staying for a few days. Yeah. And yesterday we had nothing to do. It was so hot

that I was like, let's get inside. And so we went and saw a movie. To the air conditioned movies. It was lovely. What were your options? Because Aquaman is not...

Well, timing wise, timing wise, I was limited because I had to go pick something up and then we had a bit of lunch and I was limited to the 12.30 to 1.30 time. Oh, yeah, that's- On a Monday. I hate that.

Yeah. So I was- Aquaman was my first choice. Yeah. And then I didn't know if my dad would be into it. So I also was like, we could watch Willy Wonka. But that wasn't on till 3.15. Mean Girls is also on?

Yeah, I'm not watching Mean Girls with my dad. None of these movies sound up your dad's alley. Oh, there's Jason Statham. Jason Statham, the beekeeper. I looked at that, but the timing was wrong.

You mean Chasen Status, the beekeeper. Chasen Status, the beekeeper. Starring Chasen Status. I saw the poster for this. Is he a beekeeper? He's an ex-. Starring Jason Statham. I saw the poster for this. Is he a beekeeper? He's an ex-CIA undercover operative that has retired to be a beekeeper. I'll say it.

Jason Statham makes some crap, eh? No, I'll say it. Jason Statham movies rule. Yeah, I know. Consistently, they're always enjoyable, but like... You're going to hear the synopsis of that. Yeah, because I always say it's rubbish, and then you're going to go see it. You know what?

Enjoyable. Just when you think Hollywood's out of ideas for movies, they bring out the beekeeper. Let's go back to bees. It's all about the bees. I could see you and your dad going and seeing the Sidney Sweeney, Glenn Powell, anyone but you. I don't want to watch my dad watching Sidney Sweeney.

Yeah. But then I made my dad watch me watch Jason Momoa. Anyway, we decided on Aquaman. And did he like it? Yeah, he loves it. My dad will like anything. He's not the kind of guy who won't enjoy a film. My dad's the same.

My dad's almost like, well, I couldn't do that, so well done. That's how my dad views anything entertainment-wise. He's like, I could not have done that better. Great film. He just enjoyed it. You know, it's a superhero movie. We're not looking for anything super in-depth here. But does he know how much you lust after Jason Momoa?

Probably not to the full degree. I don't think I've really sat there and been like, Dad, the things I would do to this gentleman here. I don't think many people sit down with their fathers. As a father of daughters, I hope to never have the conversation with one of them. Well, I actually share quite a lot with my father. We're very open as a family, the Sprouts. But I know I haven't gone into depths of my dreams and fantasies.

You're right. So I kind of knew what I was doing. I was doing a little fish as well. Because you know that Jason and I have engaged in back and forth online. And he followed you on Instagram. Still does. Every now followed you on Instagram. Still does. Every now and then I check and the day it comes that he's,

I give him me a hot unfollow and sort of, you know. It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a little bit. Yeah, okay. So I went for a little fish and I just seen a little photo of my two tickets to Aquaman

and the cinema screen behind it saying, got sick of waiting for you at Pride of Gypsies, at Jason Momoa. I saw that come up. I was like, I know exactly what she Momoa. I saw that come up. I was like, I know exactly what she's doing. I know exactly what she's doing.

To be honest, it was a bit lazy from you. Yeah, I know. I didn't even, I didn't, well, because I was looking rough as well. I didn't want to put the face in there. I'm hardly going to go and get the girls. You know what I mean? I'm with my dad.

So I was like, I'll just do something subtle. What about people that do get their dad to take their thirst traps? That's weird. Weird, eh? Yeah. Oh, you're on holiday and you're like oh my god dad get a photo of me but in front of the eiffel tower and you're in your little skirt you pop your leg out yeah did you get it and dad doesn't think to say put your tits away my baby girl she's all grown up sweet sweet angel on earth young girl i know so anyway i did i i did that and then i watched the movie and i enjoyed it a lot My sweet, sweet angel on earth. My inner sister. Young girl. Put your titties away. I know.

So anyway, I did that. And then I watched the movie and I enjoyed it a lot. And for one good reason, really. Yeah. He's fantastic. Also, shout out to Tim. He plays a really big part in this. He's great.

That's why we interviewed him. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Anyway, I did that thing. I was a bit desperate when I was sort of looking. And I hopped on Instagram being like, I don't even care if he's seen it. I don't even care if Jason's seen it, but he has. And he sent me a little back.

He sent me a laugh cry. Oh, okay. Laugh cry emoji. There you go. That's almost Mama's default face. Like whenever you see him and he's doing an interview, he's like a big, huge laugh. Well, okay, so he still follows you. Yeah.

He's online. Hey! Oh, my God. Is this why she was late to work? He's certainly going to unfollow you if he ever hears any of your radio show. Oh, my God. He doesn't follow ZDM, does he? Because he better not.

Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, they were the top selling used import in September 2022. Yeah. The Toyota Aqua Hybrid. So apparently that year, so that was September 2022. I can't find a more updated one, but there were 1,051 registrations in one month.

And this is the most stolen car? Again? Again. Well, I was... Well done, Carwin. I was giving some background on the car. I was going to build up the acquire. I was going to say, Carwin's gone. He was pissing around. He's highly registered. That's why you see I got it right in there.

Carwin, you own one of these. I do. Thank you. You actually own two because the last one was used in a ram raid, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. It got stolen. Why are they so good for a ram raid? Tell us what you love about the Equine. I think they're quite easy to steal. I have a push button one now, harder to hijack.

But if you've got a key one, just pop it in, go. Do you still put a wheel brace on your... Yeah, of to hijack. But if you've got a key one, just pop it in, go. Do you still put a wheel brace on your... Yeah, of course I do. Yeah. I've not taken any chances. That's so cute. Did you have a wheel brace on when they, a wheel lock on when they stole your last one? No, and that's why they stole it. Yeah. But weren't you

always using one? Yes, and it was the one night that I didn't, okay? I reckon they'd been casing it for a while and then went, oh, damn, they've got a wheel lock on. No, because it wasn't parked outside of my house. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

So congratulations, I guess, that you've got the most stolen vehicle. I will happily take this. Do they even steal it, even though it's that weird blue colour? It's the colour of aqua. It's aqua, isn't it? I've never stolen a car.

I never would. But if I did... You must try it. Thank you for clarifying. That's very guilty of you to say so? I've never stolen a car. I never would. But if I did... You must try it. Thank you for clarifying. That's very guilty of you to say so. If I did steal a car, I think I'd still be pickier. I'd be like, I don't like that colour. Yeah.

You know, like, I don't want to steal a purple car. I've always wanted a white one. Yeah. Yeah, my original one was white. And so that's why they steal it, because it's harder to spot. Like, it's harder to know that that's not your car. It's like a baby blue now. Yeah.

I think with the Ram Raids as well, they're a slimmer car as well. So they get a double front door, which is sad. And honestly, quite nice to drive. Yeah, okay. Probably go quite nice. Economical too, when you're on your way to a crime. Okay, so that's what I think about on my way to crimes.

Is this an economical? How many kilometres to the leader am I getting? Yeah, that's what I want. It's running through my head too. Also, I just, while you were all blabbering on there, I did some quick background research. I believe this is the fourth year running for the Equap and the most stolen vehicle. Oh, wow.

I mean, it's not good for Carwin's insurance premiums, is it? So, here's your top ten. Ten, the Toyota Hilux. It's kind of... The Humble. I already know what number one is. Number nine, down two places this year, from seven to nine, the Subaru Legacy.

Oh, okay. Isn't that a station wagon? Yep. Oh, not every time. Oh, right, okay. Most of them are. The Impreza is just above that. Then the Vitz.

Jared, you drove a Toyota Vitz. I do, beautiful machine. Oh, yeah, congratulations. Seventh place. That's two from two. Come on, Mazda. Come on, Mazda. Six, the Toyota Mark X.

I don't know what that is. It's probably got another name that we're more used to. Number five, the Mazda Atenza. Oh, I'm XCela. I'm sorry to say you don't make the list because the Mazda Demio is number four. The Toyota Corolla is number three. And the Nissan Tita, congratulations, up one place. How embarrassing.

Congratulations. I always thought that was a Tilda. We've talked about this. Teter, yeah, double I's. Man, have you, you always have been wacky to do with cars and this and other people to see. They built the S-Car Go, they built that Cube thing.

They built those little vans. Suzuki also built the little vans. They're certainly not going for aesthetics. No. And then they've also broken down the most frequently stolen vehicle in each region. Okay. Now, Auckland, Canterbury, Wellington,

those are the places where the Acqua is stolen the most often. The Teeter is stolen most often in the Waikato, Bay of Plenty, Northland, Hawke's Bay, Nelson. That's where your Teeters are stolen from. This is the best one because it's all just the same cars.

The Mazda Estenza, the Mazda Demio, the Nissan Teeter and the Acqua, apart from the west coast of the South Island. Right. Where the most stolen car is the Holden Commodore. Yeah, well, there's been a text saying that the Acquire has no immobiliser. So that's your problem there and that's why it's easy to steal. Right.

Oh. I feel like if I was going to steal a car, I'd steal the car I wanted to drive. Yeah, but they've all got immobilizers on them. Like a Mustang. You know, 70s muscle car. Yeah. Something like that. Something that you'd easily be spotted in.

Or change the number plate. Sprout. Or something like that. Just subtle changes. You'd get a personalized plate on the vehicle you've stolen. Yeah, because then you wouldn't be able to tell. You'd be like, why would I have stolen this? It's got my name on it.

My name on the back. Yeah. Hayley. Something like that. Good luck with that. Yeah, thanks. I don't know if you're ready for a life of crime. I don't think I am, to be honest.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the Day I'm loving it You're a real fun guy Do this Are we running on time? Do you need mushroom to get this done? That wasn't as good as fun.

No, it was good. Leave it to the button guy. Button mushroom. No, that sucked. Yeah, that was all right. I was wondering if it was a button. I remember it was a button mushroom. Oh.

It's a grey mushroom. You got any money on you or are you poor, Cheney? That sucked. That was the worst yet. I get paid on the day of the week known as bellows. Oh, hang on. One from Jared. One from Jared.

These puns have been shit-archy. He wins. Jared wins. Jared wins. Jared wins. That was really good. Back to you. Good, good.

So it's long been thought that mushrooms spread their spores by waiting for the opportune wind moments. Okay. They can almost feel the wind and they're like, now deploy spores and drop them down. Yeah. It turns out they've been making their own wind all along. Sorry, are they farting?

Mushrooms can make their own wind. So can I. I know, but you're not spreading spores. You don't know that about me. Or is she? Yeah, you don't know that. Spreading spores around. Spread it all around.

So they create airflow by allowing their moisture to evaporate. So they put their moisture out onto the surface. The evaporation cools them off. And then wind always goes from hot to cold, cold to hot. High pressure system, how does wind work again? And then, and so it creates,

it creates wind movement. Right. And so it comes in and it's got nowhere to go so the wind goes back out and it's at that time that they drop their own spores and get it out into an area

where wind is more likely to, the natural wind is likely to take the spores. I almost feel bad eating them. They're so smart. They're smart. They're doing a whole lot of stuff. They're so delicious, though. I'll still eat them.

Yeah, I wouldn't feel too bad. Yeah, and chickens and stuff. You don't have to eat them all. Like, all mushrooms kind of do this, the ones that you shouldn't be eating. Right. Yeah, and ones that grow in, like, tight spaces, like inside tree trunks,

it can be the difference for them to get their spores out or just, you know, they kind of just get stuck in there and they can't get their spores out. Oh, wow. So they can create their own like mid-year little wind gusts that can chuck their spores like four inches or just over 10 centimetres out into the ocean. And then that makes new mushrooms.

Yeah. How do you grow, like how do you start with mushrooms? You can buy those little packs. Hey, well let's delve into that tomorrow on Fact of the Day because to be honest, I thought there'd be a lot more facts and this would be a really easy picking week. Picking? Pun intended. But it hasn't been. Can you

give us a fact of the day about why sometimes when you mow your lawn the next day there's mushrooms? It used to happen at my old house. You know when you mow your lawn, the next day there's mushrooms. It used to happen at my old house. You know when you mow your lawn and then mushrooms would pick up. Yeah, yeah. It was like weird.

God, it sounds like you had a mouldy lawn. Must have had a mouldy lawn. Did you have an animal that did the feces? The cat. I mean, the cat doesn't feces on the lawn. Because it'll often grow out of spots where there's been some poo. No, no.

I used to take a couple out of the back. That'll be it then. Yeah, that of the back. That'll be it. That'll be it. That'll be the one. So today's fact of the day is a mushroom can essentially cause its own wind. One more from Jarrod. This fungus week has been more truffle than it's worth. That's good too. He's good at this.

He's good at this. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. There's a woman called Ebony May. She's 20 years old. She is from Canberra. And she shared on her social media that she, no one ever believes that she's 20 because she has the voice of a child. I feel like no one talks about all of the out-of-pocket things

that people say to you when you look way younger than you actually are. For reference, I'm 20. So I was out the other night at a club. I was just dancing away with my brother, and this lady kept staring at me. I was like, what is she looking at? And then she comes over, and I'm dancing, and she goes, are you old enough to be here?

Wow. Does she look old enough? She looks young, too. So she's got kind of like a sweet little angel face, and she, like, I can see that she would be ID'd. I'm often described in such a way. Sweet little angel face? He's got a sweet little angel face and she like, I can see that she would be ID'd. I'm often described in such a way. Sweet little angel face? I don't know. Maybe a cute button nose. Cute button nose.

Sweet little angel nose. The beard is really it. She could get away with like kids movie tickets. Yeah, dude. She could just be like, two tickets. Hi, I'd like to go and see Willy Wonka, please. And you're like, sure, okay. Yeah, go for it. Two children's tickets.

So she's 20 years old and like, I don't I'm trying to see if I can see how tall she was. I was like, would that help? But she just looks like a child. She sounds like a child. What was she doing dancing with her brother? Some siblings get on. Yeah, I never danced with your brother at the club. No, we're not bloody bumping and grinding.

Jesus Christ. You're not bloody dropping it low. Dancing with your brother? I've danced with my brother. We kiss on the mouth, though. I don't know. I've never danced with my brother. I've never danced with my brother.

Yeah. Anyway, it's such a bizarre sounding voice. Yeah. And she does not sound 20 years old. Here's what I bizarre sounding voice. Yeah. And she does not sound 20 years old. Here's what I propose. Okay. If you're listening, do you have a voice that does not match your age?

So maybe you are- Or your look? Maybe you are 20. We can't see them though. You've had too many bloody days. How long have you been working radio? Someone's going to ring up and talk and be like,

oh wow, that doesn't match your face. We can't see their face, you stupid idiot. Is this not live on TVNZ at the moment? No, it's not live anywhere. I'll stop putting in all this effort into my appearances. Maybe you have a voice that, like, you've got a little baby voice as well.

Maybe you're a fella, but it's still up there and really high and young sounding. Or maybe the other way around and you sound like a grandma. When you're at school and people's voice broke and then they sounded like they were like 40. Yeah. But they're like 16.

Yeah. Maybe call up if you've got one of these voices and we'll try to guess your age based on your voice. Oh, okay. A ballpark. Give us a bit of...

Because would there be people that people might think they're way older just by their voice? Yeah, probably. Even if they were like 30 or 40, they're like, you sound 60. You've been on the durries for years.

Yes, maybe. Kelsey, get off the phone! I'm 20. Maybe that's you. Do you remember that time when we tried to find New Zealand's silliest voice and it didn't work? No, because it turned out people were self-conscious about their voices. You shouldn't be self-conscious about this

having a young or old sounding voice. I don't know if this is going to work because people might not want to put their voice out there for people. Hey, it's your voice. Chuck a prize on the line. We'll give away your flask bottle. We're not giving away my Yeti with the Glock hole.

I suggest we give away his child. Not my delicious Yeti flask. This is his child. Not my delicious Yeti flowers. This is brand new. This is my child. He's living the life of luxury. He's got a Glock hole. And that's his drink bottle. And that's his work drink bottle.

It's got a Glock hole. Yeah, I've got a Glock hole. Well, we do have a bloody, we've got a McCafe voucher up our sleeve. Oh, yeah, this is true. Okay, well, 0800DALZM. We want to take your calls now. Text her as well, 9696.

Do you not sound the age you are? And if you're game enough, give us a call on 0800.ZM and we'll try to guess your age based on your voice. This 20-year-old Australian girl has gone viral because she doesn't sound 20. I feel like no one talks about all of the out-of-pocket things that people say to you when you look way younger than you actually are. How old do you... Your girls sound older than that.

She sounds on par with my kids. Also, because, you know, not seven because of the speed and the clarity in which she's speaking. And when she said the out-of-pocket, I was like, that age is her because that's a... But I'm not 20. She's 10. So, we want you to call us now on 0800-DONALD-M. And Hayley, you are going to guess. Yeah, you can help me.

We're all going to guess. We have a little guess. How odd. Do you sound your age or do you not? Yeah. Okay're all going to guess. We have a little guess. How odd. Do you sound your age or do you not? Yeah. Okay, let's start with Kayla. Good morning, Kayla.

Morning. Good morning. Oh, okay. Can you just tell us a little bit about how your morning's gone so far? Well, I'm actually currently sitting in traffic

taking my kids to kindy. I'm running late. Okay, kids is a clue. You've aged yourself there because I was going to say 21, 22, but then you could have kids is a clue. You may have yourself there, because I was going to say 21, 22, but then you could have kids at 21, 22. Where did you grow up?

Hamilton. Hamilton, okay. There is a kind of an ear there. I'm not trying to mock you. I'm just trying to find the age within my own voice. Right. Are you... I thought she was going to be really old,

because I think she sounds... Because she could be tricking us. Yeah. I was thinking 60. I'm going to be really old because I think she sounds She could be tricking us. Yeah. I was thinking 60. I'm going to lock in 22. Warren, please take this game seriously. No, no, that's what I thought. She was tricking us

because we did ask people whose voice doesn't match their age. But then she said kids. I'm going to say 22. I'm locking in 22. Yeah, I'm going to go around 22 as well. I'm going to go 40. You're going 60.

I'm running it down because of the kids. Yeah. Could have had them late. 42. 42. How old are you? How old, Kayla? I'm 29.

29. Okay, so you could, I think you sound about 29. Yeah, 29 adjacent, but definitely you've got a higher voice. Have you come across this? People have heard your voice and don't think you're a certain age before. Yeah, they say I've sound younger. Well, just when you said that, you did. Yeah, she did.

You did, you did. Kayla, thank you. We've got Nazeen. Sorry, Nazneen. Yeah, hey. Nazneen, yes. Nazneen, Okay, so young. Okay, so you quite often...

Twelve. Okay, we need to talk to Nazneen a little bit. Don't tell us what your kids have been up to. You've got them. What did you have for breakfast? I had some toast. Some toast. What did you have on the toast?

What did you have on the toast? Oh, God damn it! You're spoiling the game! She's got kids, so she must be 20s. She's not 12. She must be 20s. Or it could be her siblings. Could be a sibling.

Could just be on a bus. That could just be another kid. You do sound young, though. What was your favourite subject at high school? Fashion studies. She's 18. 18. I reckon 18, 19.

I reckon she's 12, because they didn't have that at school when I was there. And I only went to school five years ago. Uh, okay, uh, now, Zane, how old are you? I am 31. Oh, you know, you don't sound at all. You don't sound 31. You definitely sound at 20s. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm scared to leave, like, voicemails and stuff for my clients.

I own my own business as well. I wouldn't take you seriously. No, I'm mean, I'm scared to leave, like, voicemails and stuff for my clients. I own my own business as well. I wouldn't take you seriously. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. What I do, I take you very seriously, doesn't mean. Who is this child leaving me a message? Yeah. Yeah.

Are you at the giggle? Yeah, young. Yeah, yeah, yeah, young. Do you look young as well? Yes, yes. People, my clients think I'm a high school student and then they freak out when I say I've got two kids.

Yeah. Wow. I mean, this is all great for when you age and you don't look your age. You're like me. I don't know.

I don't age. Yeah, but. Oh, I found you. I found you, Nazneen. Hang on. What are you doing? Google. You can't just stalk the listeners.

Nazneen, is that your son? Is that your son? Is that your son in your arms? In my arms? On Facebook. You can't just stalk me on Facebook. This is a privacy breach. I don't care, Nisney. You are beautiful. Your child is beautiful. Is that your hubby? He's a looker. Look at you.

I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for this privacy breach. She is young. Yeah. You are young looking. Well, this is a great game. I mean, my son over there is probably two years old. He's five now.

I can see how you've kept young. Are you happy with your cover photo on Facebook being graffiti? Because somebody scratched something into a public bench there, and I'm not happy about it. Oh, as a rate payer, I'm livid. Yeah, I look better on my business profile. Okay. Okay, we'll find you on LinkedIn, isn't it?

Okay, yeah. I mean, Hayley's absolutely begun the stalking. Why not? She is. A 20-year-old in Australia has gone viral because she sounds like a kid. I feel like no one talks about all of the out-of-pocket things that people say. It's so weird. She looks young as well.

She could get kids movie tickets. Yeah. We want you to call us and talk to us if this happens to you. If people don't believe how old you are just based on your voice and we will try and guess your voice. And so far it has not been great, has it? No.

Someone even got confused by our own producer, Jarrod. Someone texted saying they called for the long weekend group two once, and Jared was like, how old are you? And was very shocked that I wasn't a child. Because sometimes when children call to be a part of it, we'll put their age so that we're like, oh, we're aware that they're a child. Yeah.

So if Jared hears a child, he'll say, child. Also, we are not trying to catch out any underage drivers, aren't we? Yes, we are. Sarah, hello? Hello, how are you guys? Oh, my God. Oh, okay, okay. There's a child on the phone.

Okay. You could be a teenager. You could be like 17, 18. Oh, I love you guys. Can you... Oh, you do sound so young. Can you describe how your morning started? Don't say kids.

Oh, okay. You've given that away. Sorry, sorry. So you've got to at least be in your 20s. Everyone's having kids, aren't they? Yeah. That would be really nice. Tell us about what you had for dinner last night. Oh, actually

last night we had Mr. Goes from Wellington. God, your voice is so sweet and quite high. Yeah, I don't think it's young as much as just a little angelic. A little soothing. Very soothing. I'd love to hear you read an audio book.

Oh, yes, please. That would be lovely. I've got some funny stories once you work out my age. I'm going to say 25. You sound 25. Late 20s? No. This is a real

red herring. I reckon she's 40. How old are you, Sarah? I am 44. Wow! And do you find when people talk

to you on the phone they don't believe it? Yes. I have four kids and on the phone if it's a cold caller they're like, hi, is your mum

or dad there? And you're like, I am the mum. I am the mum and dad. Oh my gosh. My friends always hassle me because whenever I tell the kids off, they're like, this is you telling the kids off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, that's amazing. Sarah, thank you for your call. Linda. Hello, good morning. Good morning, guys. Oh, okay, okay. You've got a mature voice, Linda. I'm going to say, Linda, if we didn't have your name, that's kind of leading to a slightly older name.

Do we owe a nurse in the war? Yeah. How rude. Okay, so I'm guessing she's not as old. Okay, Linda, I apologise for Hayley's comment about the war there, but thank you for the war effort. Do you remember the first vehicles, or are you still horse and cart? Well, you're rude.

Very, very rude. Okay, I'm going to say, what did you have for dinner last night, Linda? I had a ham, cheese and pineapple toasted sandwich. I love your voice, Linda! She's a student! She's a uni student! You sound like my great aunt, you know, like just beautiful pineapple. Eloquent.

Yes, well spoken. Very nice. How old's your great aunt? She'd be in her 80s. No, Linda's not that old. Linda's not that old. I know. I apologise, Linda.

I've done nothing but offend Linda. But again, it could be a re-hearing. Annie, I'll let you pick up my profile photo, though. You can have a wee peek at it. Oh, okay. Let's not encourage this. Let's not encourage this. No, I don't.

Sorry? See, you could be 30. I reckon Linda's in her 30s. Are you going to lock in 30s? I'll lock in 30s. Okay. I don't want to offend you. I don't want to offend because I've already suggested 80s.

She's too nice to be in her 20s. No one in their 20s is nice. I feel like Linda was the name stopped being used in the 80s, right? Yeah, Linda's quite 80s. You might have caught a couple of 90s, Linda. You might have caught a couple of 90s, so I'm going to lead towards late 30s, 40s. Yeah. Oh, you've made up for all quite 80s. You might have caught a couple of 90s, Linda. You might have caught a couple of 90s, so I'm going to lead towards late 30s, 40s. Yeah.

Oh, you've made up for all your insults. I'm 70. What? Linda! Okay, you do not sound 70. You're more than welcome to listen forever, Linda, but do you enjoy this garbage? I love this show.

I wake up to you guys every morning. I have the radio on all night and as soon as you start talking in the morning that's my alarm to wake up Linda

people are close they're going to be furious they are but we I want to give I want to give Linda our caller of the week yes please

Linda you are our caller of the week you've got a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our friends at McCafe well done oh wow thank you so much guys you've got a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our friends at McCafe well done oh wow thank you so much guys

you've been so much fun oh that was lovely Linda I'm just making up for the fact Hayley made those war jokes Linda I know

but I really apologise Linda you're lovely Linda please call again we'd love to hear from you again thank you guys and you should all be forgiven

oh thanks Linda oh I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast I'll tell you. What? It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheeze. There's no rules on when and where

you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it. Okay? I read it. Give us a review. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.