ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 23rd July 2024

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

Pillow Face  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Climate ChangeGeorgia Patten from "Bored to Boss"  Thumbs Up  Couple Activities  Hayley's Delivery Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Really? Welcome to the show, is it?

Are you blaming the moon for your mood again today? Do you know what? I have been off since Sunday. And I went for a walk last night, and I looked at the moon, and I thought, you bastard. You're doing this to me. Is it? Yeah.

Is it big and? It's very big. It's very round. Is it in retrograde? It always makes me go a little bit loo-lelly. I don't think the moon gets in retrograde. Mercury gets in. Mercury gets in retrograde.

Right. Yeah. Dumb-dumbs. I don't know how all this made-up nonsense works. Dumb-dumbs. I don't know how all this made-up nonsense works. Wow. I don't talk about your religion like that. No, yeah, the moon's making me feel funny. It's all right.

I've come in with a positive attitude. Sounds like it. For the day. Great tone. Great tone. Great tone. Well, let's see if we can cheer you up and give away $25,000 today. I don't know, sometime soon.

We're in the seventh week of this competition and still nobody has nailed it. 5.00 seconds is what we need. We don't want to call it bloody five on time Christmas special. People need to go earlier. I've said this from the start. People are saying time at probably what is exactly five seconds, but it's taking that point two, that point four, to get the words out of your mouth.

Yeah. Spice it up, guys. Let's go. It's got to go. Today, 8 o'clock, $25,000 to Up for Graeme's with five on time. The top six is coming up. Yeah, the top six. New plants we're going to be able to grow thanks to climate change

and their associated big town monuments. Oh, okay. You know, we've always been a hell of an apple nation. Yeah. But with the climate ever getting warmer, we're going to be able

to grow some things probably generally reserved for the belt. You reckon bananas? Yeah, well, we can grow bananas in the winterless north here. But just not like... Not like big.

They're not the little lady fingers. Yeah, the little lady fingers. Little lady fingers. Those are really yum though. When you go to the islands and you get them with breakfast. Oh yeah, yeah. They're sweet. They're such sweet little nards.

Okay, well the top six are coming up soon. You've got sweet little nards. Thank you. Next on the show. We need to talk about pillow face. If you are considering some cosmetic enhancements

to your face, just I want to give a little warning. No, I'm ageing gracefully. You are. Better than honestly anyone I know. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Calling it pillow face, and if you haven't heard the term,

I reckon you'll recognise the distinct features that define pillow face. Or celebrities that have these features. I'm just going to chuck Madonna's name in the mix. Okay. Now, you would have noticed, I mean, we all know that Madonna's had like 10,000 facelifts. She's like 100 years old and always kept it pretty tight. How old is she?

She's the same age as my mum. 60. 60. She doesn't carry on like your mum. No, Christine doesn't carry on like Madonna. No. Christine doesn't carry on like your mum. No, Christine doesn't carry on. No. Christine doesn't carry on like Madonna. Your mum's beautiful.

And not saying that Madonna isn't beautiful, but she's mucked it up a bit. She's tampered with it, hasn't she? She's tampered. She's got a gold card. Yeah. Wow. She can go to Waiheke on the ferry for free. Yeah.

Well, we must invite her over. Did you see that story about her son saying I've finally moved out of home and I'm scavenging for food? Oh dear. Wearing this like insanely expensive thing with some like ridiculous shoes

and a handbag and stuff and he's like, I'm scavenging for food. Oh dear. Or is it just a cry for like more money from mum? I don't know. He probably doesn't know

where to find food. It was probably always just someone around who just food would magically appear. Click his fingers. He's moved out of home and there's no one following him around with an omelette.

Well, there's a, oh yeah. Oh God, how good would an omelette be right now? You've made it in life when somebody just is there with an omelette. Follows you around. Ham and cheese omelette. They're like, you want this? They know what you want before you do.

I do want that actually. Oh, now I want an omelette. That's one thing if I was like mega rich, I'd definitely have a personal chef. With one of those little omelette stations that you get at hotel buffets. And you're like, what do you want? And you're like everything.

You fill in the sheet. You're like mushrooms, capes and cantaloupes. That'd just be so cool too. That'd be a cool person to have around. Yeah. They're like, what's up? Good morning, my man. And you're like, hey.

And they always make a great omelette. Tattoos and stuff. And I wouldn't rush it, but I'd say, tell me the story of that tattoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd slowly work my way up the sleeve, across the chest, down the other arm. And they'd look at you some days and be like, I reckon we took another egg in there, man. You're buffing up.

Yeah, yeah. Stop it. I'm working out. My boy needs a couple extra whites. Yeah, yeah. A couple extra egg whites. I might not go to yolks because you've got a family history with cholesterol. That's right.

But I'll go to whites. You're my man. How do you know? He's my number one priority. I did my research. I love this. That's my man. Well, the reason we're talking about Madonna is not because we're all hungry for delicious custom-made omelettes right now. From her personal

chef. It's her pillow face. And we have all noticed a distinct change in her face over the last couple of years in particular. Less about tightness and more about puff. And they're calling it pillow face. And they think, well, there's a cosmetologist who, she has all these skincare things online.

And she thinks that there's a change in the way that we're using facial fillers, derma fillers, which is, it's made up of a number of things, but the number one thing is like hyaluronic acid. It's just like a big puffing filler thing. And the idea used to be that you'd put fillers into your cheeks, like to get nice cheekbones or whatever,

or your lips, or I think maybe lips is different. But, you know, you put it around your face to fill it up and tighten up the sag, and then historically it would last six to twelve months before your body would metabolise it and it would disintegrate, basically, and then it works its way out of your system.

And then you would get more? Yeah, like Botox. It only lasts for a certain amount of time, and then it kind of goes away, and then, you know, it works its way out of your system. And then you would get more? Yeah, like Botox. Right, okay. It only lasts for a certain amount of time and then it kind of goes away and then you top it up. But she thinks now that it's changing and instead of breaking down and getting metabolised, it's actually just migrating, which is why you see people's like,

it's going all up high in their face and their eyes get all like pushed shut. Like Chrissy Teigen, she showed an example of Chrissy Teigen's pillow face and her cheeks are like on the side. She looks like she's been stung by a couple of bees. Oh my god. That lady says that

there's been MRIs and it migrates to different parts of the face and can like surround the lymph nodes and stuff. Yeah. So it's not melting away or getting metabolized because it's also like there's like sugars in it and stuff. So your body's supposed to just absorb it and work it through. Yep.

Put it on a plate. Lamington. Put my fill on a lamington. But yeah, now they say, no, it's not actually. And then so every time we're adding more to try to fix the face, it's actually not just coming out of our system. We're not weeing it out. Hence the pillow face. Everyone's puffing up.

Hence pillow face. Oh yeah. See that's why you just shouldn't. It's a slippery slope. You see people do this all the time. I've seen lots of people getting on social media their lip fillers dissolved. You can go in with another thing that will break it down because they're not breaking down naturally.

Everyone's sort of been promised. And they do. they move around. And some people will show their lips and they'll feel little hard beads of the filler that's kind of like moved around. You're allowed to do whatever you want to your face. You know me, I'm going to get it absolutely stapled to the back of my scalp one day.

But you've just got to be careful. You've got to be careful. And if you're going to do it, start small because yeah, some of these faces, you just think maybe they've lost perspective. Do you know what I mean? Like,

yeah, because you, you think you spend your whole life looking at yourself in the mirror. And then what do you, what do you think someone like Madonna, when she looks in the mirror, she'd see it getting older. Yeah.

Which is absolutely fine. But then what does she look in the mirror now She'd see it getting older. Yeah, which is absolutely fine. But then what does she look in the mirror now and does she even recognise herself? She probably just thinks I probably need a bit more. Yeah, I think that's also the thing, right? Yeah. Like, I've got to fix this. It doesn't look as good as it did when it was fresh.

Yeah. I'd better get some more. And then with this issue happening that it's not dissolving, you've just got a face full of fillers. And it's all moving around in there. And then your pillow face. And then you've got... I couldn't believe that Chrissy Teigen photo.

I know. That is... What is going on there? Chrissy Teigen hits back at critic who accuses her of having fillers. What you said stinks. This is what Chrissy Teigen said. Right.

Those kind of critiques only serve to make the person you're talking about not want to smile and show their natural joy. She's 38, flat out denied having fillers. Really? In a series of videos she posted on Instagram. only serve to make the person you're talking about not want to smile and show their natural joy. She's 38, flat out denied having fillers. Really? In a series of videos she posted on Instagram. I suppose, yeah.

Like the whole entire shape of your face can just organically change naturally in life. To different areas. To different areas, and particularly under the cheeks where people probably have fillers. Next on the show, a big question for silly little Paul. I'm so glad that we actually take the time to consider what people want to know. Cheerio sausages, cocktail sausages, hot or cold?

We're eating them hot or cold. Always hot. People are all caught up with the US election. We're answering the big questions here. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. and Hayley.

Today's the Little Pole. What temperature do you eat cocktail sausages? Do you eat them hot or do you eat them cold? Because if you're just getting a little bag of them from the supermarket to snack them on the car on the way home, you're not eating those up. I mean, who is still eating like cocktail sausages? But like the kids love.

Cheerios. Cheerios. Right. Get a little, get half a dozen. I genuinely believe as an adult, hand on heart, I've never bought a bag of cocktail sausages. No, neither. I think I've always been a receiver at a party. Yeah.

Most likely a child's party. And I've never actually, as a childless woman, bought a bag. How do you cook a cocktail sausage without it exploding? Oh, no, you can't. Because I don't think it's ever been cooked. No, no, no, you can't. How to avoid exploding sausage syndrome. Do you just prick them with a fork?

Pre-prick. Pre-prick, but then it pulls at the prick. I don't know. I'm sure. I've genuinely never cooked them. I mean, I've tried to bring them to a very slow boil. Yeah. Because you probably don't need to get them too boiling, do you?

You can probably... You're sous-vaying them. A sous-vay, yeah. Seal them in a bag and suve them. Yeah, just a little. Yeah. I mean,

they're definitely better hot, right? Dip them in some Tommy sauce. Just a plain, regular Tommy sauce. No, not sweet chilli. You and your sweet chilli.

Sweet chilli doesn't stick to the skin. No. It slips off. Yeah. For some magical reason, tomato sauce will just be like, I've got this.

I've got this. And fully encase the sauce. Must be a great source of protein. If you're a Jimbra Too much fat I reckon and salt. No, I don't know. And it's too processed. Someone said I munch on cocktail sausages when times get tough. That's a messaging. Yeah man.

Like a safety sausage. Like a comfort sausage. No, I think when times get tough meaning like I don't have enough money for real sausages. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Co, I think when times get tough, meaning like I don't have enough money for real sausages. Yeah. Okay. Cozzy Livvy Cry Sauce. 80% of people hot.

20% cold. That's still a big portion. Straight from the packet reminds me of being a child and the trips to the butchery with my dad and the butcher would give me a free one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they always sort you out, wouldn't they? They'd always go for...

I feel I might be buying a bag today. None. They're not good for you. Carl says none. Ooh, yuck. Yeah, I mean... Is that you, Carl,

or a different Carl? My granad used to peel it. He was convinced the skin was the bad part. Eating an ultra-processed meat inside it. Yeah, not the salty, ultra-processed meat.

The temperature of one's Savloy is not of concern, says Ruben, as long as enjoyment and satisfaction are obtained when the sausage is worthwhile. He's very articulate. Very philosophical about that. Eight grams of protein per two little sausages. Only eight. Only eight.

Only eight. Considering it's a meat product, it's very low and there's 5.6 grams of fat. How much sodium? Carbohydrates 2.8 Sodium 357 milligrams I don't know enough about sodium Yeah

What are you allowed a day? Like 2,000 something or other? Yeah So it's quite bad Cold straight from the packet On the way home In the car So I don't have to share them

From Kirsty And then like Thumb the plastic Deli bag out the window To get rid of all the evidence No You don't thumb a plastic bag out the window to get rid of all the evidence. No, you don't thumb a plastic bag out the window, you piece of shit. You put it in the glove box and forget about it for later.

And then on a hot summer's day, you can't suspiciously start smelling like sausage. Guys, it's 70% meat. What's the other 30% though? Spices, starch, soy, acidity regulators, salts, vegetable powders, antioxidant, preservatives, flavouring. There's too many things in a sausage. It should just be meat on its face. Edible casing.

Yeah. And colouring. Not according to my grandad. Not according to Pops. Carwin, the show vegetarian, said that the number one thing she misses is a vegetarian. Really? Even over like a roast chicken? What about nuggies?

What about nugs or roast chicken with gravy? Yeah, but like I can get vegan nugs and they taste just the same. Yes, they do. Cut her off. Jared said the reason we're talking about this is someone in the office yesterday was eating them out of a snap block bag cold. Cooked and then cold? They're always cooked.

I know, but you've got to re-cook it. I should have asked. Did they have a dipping sauce? No, they were raw dogging it out of a snap block bag. You've got to have a dipping sauce to hide the plasticness. The rubberiness. The rubberiness. The ultra-processedness.

Lisa says, hot or cold, you do not. So she's anti the sauce. Prefer hot, but I can go either way, says Sophie. That's called a buy sausage. A buy sausage. I remember the supermarket delis used to give kids when we were in grocery shopping in the good old days where supermarkets cared. Good old days.

Actually, tepid's my favourite. Says Therese. Oh my God, no, Therese. Put it in a lukewarm bath. No, Therese. Tepid's that boy. Don't boil it. Just put it in a pot with some tap water.

Some warm tap water. Shay said cold because they're so limp and soft when they're hot. They're not limp. Oh, I get what they mean. There is like they're a bit harder and a bit when they're cold. You actually feel your teeth go through the air. Yeah. Amy says they have to be hot so

the risk of damaging your mouth. They have to be so hot that they are at risk of damaging the roof of your mouth forever. Then you dip it in a cool tomato sauce to counterbalance. It's all about balance. Okay. It is about balance. Katie says I ain't ever enjoyed cold meat at any stage of my life. Not even a cold chicky.

What about a luncheon slice? What about leftovers the next day? A little bit of cold lamb. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Cold lamb sammy. On a sammy, yeah. Now we're talking.

Cold lamb. It's good stuff. What about a cold piece of battered fish? Yum! No. Not cold fish. No, not cold fish. You're on your own there.

I am. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. This could almost be an episode of Hayley's Horny Book Club. Because, you know, this year in total has been my year of erotica. Your comedy show's all about it? My comedy show's all about it. My day is all about it. My soul is all about it.

It's all women are reading at the moment. Yeah, well they're calling it porn dosing. In the same way that people are doing, there's lots of little experiments about microdosing, right, with psychedelics. Yep. Having a little bit of LSD. I'm not condoning this, by the way,

nor am I a doctor or a scientist. That information might shock you. Was you talking about someone microdosing a Zen pic? Yeah, I was listening on a podcast recently about it. And it's incredible, some of the stuff that it's doing. Because you still get to eat a little bit, but your appetite's slightly suppressed. It doesn't ruin food.

It's more for treating addictions and other stuff. And also PCOS. What do you have? PCOS, yeah, polycystic ovarian syndrome. Yeah, stuff like that. Interesting. Well, people have been doing, it's like microdosing is,

a lot of people are using it for depression because you have a tiny little dose of whatever you're microdosing and it gives you a boost in like of whatever you're micro dosing and it gives you a boost in like serotonin and like happy hormones and stuff porn dosing is exactly the same and they're saying it can have similar benefits without having substances right which is drip feeding the a little bit of spiciness throughout your day in different areas and not just saving spicy time for like night time.

And I do this, which is like, I listen to audio books in the supermarket. I listen to spicy things in the car. I don't know if I want to be horned up at Woolworths. I know, but if you break down horniness, what is this? This is a nice little mood boosting, little happy hormone. Isn't it bad to be, you talk about microdosing, but isn't it bad if you're doing this all day

and that's all you're doing? Yeah, yeah. But microdosing meaning like in small increments. Okay. So the way that they said, because they, that's how it starts. Yeah.

Yeah, it is. It's not only like good for your mood, but it can be good for your relationship. Because if you're dribbling a little bit of spice throughout the day. Right. Dribbling was a terrible choice of words. That's where my brain went, and I went with it.

If you are drop feeding a little bit of spice throughout your day, you're more likely at the end of the day to want to engage with your partner in some fulfilling terms. It's good for your relationship as well. So they were saying a good way to do this is to replace the dopamine-hitting things that you get during the day that are less beneficial for you with a bit of porn dosing. So for

example, you know, sometimes in a day I'll be like, I want to sit down on the couch and I want to scroll Instagram. And then you read all this research about how that is like numbing your brain, it's actually doing nothing for you, it's actually like ruining your self-esteem because you're seeing this like perfect version of people's lives. Replace that

with a little audio book instead. I'm going to take 30 minutes to have a little downtime, but instead of the mindless doom scrolling, I'll read a little book or I'll listen to a little thing or maybe I'll watch a little something. And it gives you the same kind of serotonin and

mood boosting hormone little injection without the mind numbing side effects. Goodness me. I know. So that's why this morning I listened to a lovely book. On the drive to work? On the drive to work. But then you arrived at work and you were very grumpy.

I was grumpy, but that's the moon. That's right. Throughout the day I'm going to be trying to combat the power of the moon with the power of porn. The power of erotica Audio Exactly The only thing that can defeat the moon

Porn Yeah Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey Play ZM Blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah

This is the Top Six. Well, hello there. Climate change is happening, like it or not. And we don't seem to be doing anything about it anymore. We just seem to be like, it's too hard. It's too hard. I rinse my cans. I'm doing my bit. What are you doing, you know?

Yeah, well, we're going to be able to...? Yeah. Well, we're going to be able to... The one good thing is we're going to be able to grow more fruit. Okay. We're getting tropical. Yeah. Yeah. All sorts. All sorts.

You usually enjoy it when you go to the islands. Yeah, bananas. You know about it. Oh, fantastic. What about coffee? Do you reckon we could go crop? Get some beans. Well, it depends how warm it is.

Kiwi fruit, but with the good comes the bad. Oh, yeah. Kiwi fruit, 90% of the country's kiwi fruit's in the Bay of Plenty, which will soon be too warm to grow kiwi fruit in. That's got to get the wind to chill. Are we talking like decades down the... 2050, kiwi fruit. Oh, wow.

You could see kiwi fruit growing in places like Taranaki, Hawke's Bay, and Canterbury by 2050. Maybe we'll turn my parents' backyard into a kiwifruit orchard. Get ahead of it. Get ahead of it. Blueberries, which grow well in the North Island. It'll be less suitable for blueberries because, again, they need the winter chill. Yep.

Okay. Avocados. Climate change will increase the country's avocado real estate parts of the country, such as, again, Taranaki, Hawke's Bay and the Waikato, will be suited to avocado growing due to reduced frost risk. You're about to come into a lot of money. You know? Your parents get on top of it. Wine.

Regions currently optimal for growing Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Noir in the North Island, Brisbane and Hawke's Bay will become too hot. Okay. And meanwhile, the South Island will become more suitable, particularly in Canterbury and Otago. That's all right. Let's move it down there. Let will become more suitable particularly in Canterbury and Otago. That's alright. Let's move it down there. More vineyards in Canterbury. But what about the Pinot Noirs from down south? Well that's the thing from further down I think. Antarctica we have to get in.

We'll get some sub-Arctic Antarctic islands down there. There's a couple of islands down there doing nothing but penguins. Yeah. Let's get some vines on there. Yeah a lot of room for penguins and vines. The penguins could do the standing on the grapes. They could stomp them. Stomp them.

They have happy feet. Yep. Well, of course, when we start growing these new fruit, we're going to need new monuments as well. Yeah, well, we've got the giant carrot. We've got Cromwell's big hot peach. Big peach. Big peachy bottom.

Stuff of dreams. A couple of stone fruit in that big monument. Well, the six new plants we can grow thanks to climate change and their associated big town monuments. Number six on the list. The mango at Mongowai. Oh, okay. Mongowai mango.

But we'll probably call it mango. God, I love a mango, but it gets so stringy in your teeth. I don't like mango. Like cutting them. You don't like mango? No. Oh, my God, that's but it gets so stringy in your teeth. I don't like mango. Like cutting them. You don't like mango? No. Oh, my God, that's so good. Mango is one of the best.

Do you do the thing where you cut around, chisel it out, roll it, flick it inside out and cut it and squeeze? I had to learn how to do that. And it's still too stringy. It's still stringy. Okay. Well, and also, I'm thinking we don't just limit it to mango. Why?

What about Mount Mangonui? Oh yeah They could have it They could grow mangoes down there Because they're not going to be able to grow kiwi fruit Mount Mangonui Yeah they could be too warm Change to mangoes

We could grow to mangoes Number five on the list Of the top six new plants we can grow Thanks to climate change And they're associated with big town monuments The pineapple in Palmy Oh A lot of flat land around there

Good pineapple growing land It would be good How do pineapples grow? They grow upside down to what you think Yes Pahami. Oh. A lot of flat land around there. Good pineapple growing land. It would be good. How do pineapples grow? They grow upside down to what you think. Yes. And they take eight years or something ridiculous? Three years. Three years.

I've just been eating pineapples willy-nilly. Yeah, I know. It's so disrespectful. Once they threw out half a manky pineapple, and like so disrespectful to that three years it took. It worked so hard. You should put it in a smoothie. Number four on the list of the...

Or a pina colada. Hello? Why did I say smoothie? Too creamy. We'll just pull back on the cream. And no cream. Add more rum. We should do a pina colada weekend soon.

We should do a pina colada. I did say we need to schedule a blowout. We'll make it a pina colada one. What is it when you just have rum and pineapple juice? Yuck. No cream. That's a baby drink. No, that's not a baby drink. You'll have cream a pina colada one. What is it when you just have rum and pineapple juice? Yuck. That's a baby drink. No, that's not a baby drink. You're having cream. Melibu and pineapple juice.

We're having some melibu, aren't we? And chuck in some cranberry there. Clear up the UTI. Number four on the list. It's going to need to get bloody hot for the plant with its associated big town monument. Bananas and bluff. I think if we're growing bananas and bluff, we're screwed.

We are screwed. We're screwed. We're totally, absolutely screwed. Bananas and oysters, though. Nah. Nah, wouldn't do it. These oysters need the cold as well. That's why oysters grow so well there, right?

It's because the cold water grows the bigger oyster. Does it? I think so. That's a good one. That'll explain it. We'll move those down with the penguins and the grapes. The top three are the big Cs of tropical growth. Number three on the list of the top six plants

that will be able to grow thanks to climate change and the associated big town monuments, the Christchurch coconut. Oh, okay. Christchurch is getting tropical. Yeah, we're going to put coconut trees all over the Port Hills. You can stay with me and you'll see why. When they fall off, they'll just roll down the hill and we'll just grab them at the bottom. Perfect. Oh, we're going to put coconut trees all over the Port Hills. Love it. Stay with me and you'll see why.

When they fall off, they'll just roll down the hill and we'll just grab them at the bottom. Perfect. Oh my God, have a net. We could have a chute and a net. A chute and a net.

And just catch them all. Love that. Love that. Saving on labour costs. Bingo, because they just roll down. Gravity. Gravity is our...

Don't pay gravity. Don't even pay gravity minimum wage, do you? No. Number two on the list of the top six plants we can grow thanks to climate change

and associated big town monuments, the Coromandel coffee bean. Oh, yeah. Just a big bean and it says, welcome to Coromandel, flip the bean.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't forget to flip the bean. Don't forget to flip the bean. For good luck. And then that's the photo you pull over on the side of the road like that. And you flip the bean.

Yeah, or just give it a little rub. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little rub? You know, like, you know lots of monuments. Yeah. we'll just give it a little rub. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little rub? You know, like around time. You know, lots of monuments. Yeah, it'll have one part where it's because it's made of brass. Where it's gold, yeah.

And number one on the list of the top six plants we'll be able to grow thanks to climate change and their associated big-town monuments, the coca plant in Cambridge. Oh, yeah. Horses, rich white people. Actually, let's face it, it's probably already New Zealand's cocaine capital, so why don't we just whack up a big coca plant? Yeah.

Okay. At the mouth of Cambridge. We're going to become the new cocaine capital of the world. Yeah, rich, rich soil and stuff around there. Yeah, okay. Great for sort of agricultural things of the past. So I can't see why I couldn't grow some RIPPER COKE! For the locals. Keep it local. Support local.

That is today's top six. Well, listen up, fellow future entrepreneurs, because we have a new podcast coming to the ZM Podcast Network called... Yeah, out today, right now. Indeed, called Bored to Boss. And the creator of it, Georgia Patton, is here. Hello.

Hi, thanks for having me. I actually tried to boycott it. Yeah, I was like, sorry, another successful, stunning, smart, intelligent woman with a podcast. No thanks. We've got that covered. You'd like to be the only

podcast. I'd like to be the only one. And then they were like, like, no, you must. It's a great podcast. And I was like, don't tell me what to think. It's feminism. No, we're absolutely delighted to have you. Thank you. Now, tell us a bit about Bored to Boss. Where did it start? Because you created your own business. Yes. From scratch. Yeah. And then you went, I want to help other people do this. Pretty much, yeah. So you guys started a podcast competition for ZM's Next Podcaster. And I found after a few gyms I had applied.

Good. I love waking up to find out what decisions I made for myself. And I got a little finalist email being like, you're a finalist. And I was like, for what? Right. Love that. And then it just kind of turned to be this podcast about helping entrepreneurs

kind of find their way in business it can be a super super lonely space and unless you find that real tight-knit group of entrepreneurs to kind of feed off of and bounce back of it can be super super lonely yeah so this is kind of going to be that space for people to go to to feel like they're not alone but then also for those who maybe are a little bit bored in life to find some inspiration and just come for a little bit of relatability. Why is it lonely? Why is it a lonely space? Is it competitive or you've got no spare time because of how focused you have to be on the task at hand? All of the above. So the first couple of years of starting it, I mean, I'm five years in now and still every second of my day

is put towards growing my business. And so you put a lot of social things to the side. You don't go to events or dinners or lunches because you've got other priorities. I'm out. But then also the friends that you might have. I'm in, but I don't want to do the hard work. The friends that you might have

might also not most of the time get what you're going through. Yes, yeah. So get why you can't go spend that money or why you can't come to lunch. There's also a glamour around being your own boss. And this is what I like about your podcast is like, I see on Instagram all the time like, get out

there and just like, be a boss bitch and like, do your own thing. And it's like, the actual reality of it is not that glamorous a lot of the time. It's a lot of hard work, lonely as you say, and it can be a lot. Yeah, it can be a lot. And like you said, it's glamorous half the time. Yeah, sure.

Like I get to go to events and do launches and all that sort of stuff. Born's out again. I'm out. I love that sort of stuff. But then the other half is just me sitting on the couch watching Love Island with a computer for six hours every evening, you know, while my partner watches TV in the other room because I'm working. You know, there's a lot of that sort of stuff.

Yeah. And I think that's what people are going to listen to and be like, oh, my God, I'm not the only one. Like, yeah. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? 28. You're 28. Okay. So that's getting, so what are your, like, friends?

Because I was thinking, I thought you were younger. So I was going to say, are you at that age there where you're quite serious about something, but you've got a bunch of friends that are just like, no, we're in our 20s and this is the decade where we party. Travel the world, we party. Travel, we shuck responsibility. I mean, there's a bit of that.

I mean, I moved to London when I was 19. So I got all of that stuff out quite young. And then when I started my business, I was 22. So I kind of went straight into that series, but quite early. So there's a little bit of that, but there's also just, I mean, I talk to producer Pixie a lot about this.

And during the podcast that we've recorded so far, there's a big thing of people going, oh my gosh, you own your own business. You must be absolutely killing it, rolling in it, all that sort of stuff. Oh, yeah. But then you speak to every single business owner. You know, we don't pay ourselves that money. We put that money back into the business. Totally.

And our, you know, interns are getting paid more than we do. But also, again, it's like that Instagram thing of these like, I follow quite a few like young female entrepreneurs. I cannot say that word. It's because the R is always not where I expect it to be. But they do, they sort of show off this flashy lifestyle.

And I know that they're trying to like say, like get out there and have aspirations to live a life like this and you can, but a lot of the time you're like surely that's bullshit. Yeah, and that's kind of where I'm trying to keep it real and I've showed the whole business journey from day dot so back when I started at my parents house in the

spare bedroom to now having our own office I've showed every single bit. Yeah. Whether it's the messy or the ugly or me crying or you know shit going wrong and it's going so wrong to the point where like I don't know how to fix it. I've shown all of that on social media and that's what I want to bring into the podcast is those stories that people don't often show on social media.

And so you're chatting to other entrepreneurs as well? Yes, yep. So we've got a really amazing bunch of people coming in to speak to and it's most of the time, I guess, businesses that you would have seen on social media. So the ones that you do follow and maybe want to know the behind stories.

So yeah, we've selected some good people to chat to and there've been some really exciting chats so far. You can maybe get Vaughn on for season two when you finally start one of your businesses that you've been dreaming up. No, I'm just an ideas man. Yeah, that's where he stops. Maybe you could listen to the podcast.

I go into Shark Tank and I'm like, look, here's five things. I don't care. I don't want anything to do with them, but they're just battling to keep going. I go into Shark Tank and I'm like, look, here's five things. I don't care. I don't want anything to do with them, but they're just battling around up here. I've got to get them out. They'll be like, what's the market for this sofa, Vaughn? I don't know. I'm a little looking for the shark. That's a rad idea. It's just in my head. Or you can listen to the podcast, the first episode out

today, wherever you podcast, iHeartRadio. Board to Boss. Georgia, thank you so much and good luck. I hope it goes well. Me too. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and good luck. I hope it goes well. Oh, me too. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Lily Allen. I like Lily Allen because she's not really doing anything anymore. Do you know what I mean? She's sort of just being Lily Allen.

I think she might be trying. Is she doing more music? I think recently didn't she do? I don't know. Wasn't she just kind of the last few years of just being my brother was in Game of Thrones? She has a podcast. Oh, okay. I'm brother was in Game of Thrones. She has a podcast. Oh, okay. I'm just learning.

Oh, okay. She has a podcast. She's married to David Harbour. Yeah? Yes. Stranger Things. What's his face? DK something. What's his name?

Harper. Harper. It's like very similar to his name. John Harper. Harper. It's not John. Anyway, whatever. I love Lily Ellen

ever since the Smile Days, you know, when she'd wear fun dresses. That album was fantastic. Such a good album. And I saw her live a couple of times and she was amazing.

Which, I don't have any opinion on Lily Ellen. No, I can't believe, we didn't ask for your opinion, mate. No, last thing we need to run here is another white male's opinion. Oh, for God's sake.

I literally just screamed there's so many men in this room. This is what just screamed. The world's going to hell in a handbasket. This is what he said before. The world's going to hell because white men aren't in charge anymore. What did you just say before, before we went on here? I wouldn't repeat it. It does not bear repeating. I was just thinking maybe your job would have some Lily Allen in the background.

I thought you had some to play. I mean, I can get it, but it doesn't feel like it's my job. Well, one of you. I'm here for color commentary. Give me some smile, please. Are we racing? We're racing. We're racing.

Oh, and I spelt Lily Allen wrong. Oh, for God's sake. I win. I win. I win. This is the explicit version. Yeah, well, no, we can't play that. Because she's got a potty mouth.

She's rough as cats. Oh, she's got got a potty mouth. She's rough as cats. Oh, she's got such a potty mouth. I can't find it. F you, F you very, very much. Yeah. Look, now producer Jared's gotten involved. How many men does it take to play one Lily Allen song? Apparently three.

Well, it turns out three. It turns out three. Three and it's still not playing. Great album. She's great. But this album was, this was all right still. This was a fantastic album. Someone up But this album was This was alright still This was a fantastic album

Someone's in this game Great The year was 2006 This is 18 years old This album Yeah I saw her in 2007 Anyway The reason I'm talking about

Lily Allen is because She was talking on this podcast That she does with her best friend Not everyone has a podcast now I know Do you know what I mean I've got two Awkward

Awkward She was talking about the fact That the friend that she does This podcast with a podcast now. I know, do you know what I mean? I've got two. Awkward. Awkward. She was talking about the fact that the friend that she does this podcast with has known each other since birth and she said, oh my God, I know something about me

that you don't know about me. And the friend was like, what? She said, I'm going to admit something. I don't know how to do the laundry. She doesn't know how to wash clothes. She's very afraid

of her washing machine. She thinks... Doesn't she have a kid? Does she have a kid? Yeah. She says, David and the kids do all of the washing.

Okay. So David does it all for Yeah. She says David and the kids do all of the washing. Okay. So David does it all for her. She said, I can iron, but I dare not touch the washing machine. I don't know. Or the settings. Super speed. I just always do this quick. I'm always a quick 30 or an hour.

30 or 40. Yeah. Yeah, if it's super filthy stuff, whatever, you do an hour. Settings for like two hour loads. You just turn the knob. She's got a, her kids are older than mine. 2011 and 2013. With David?

And she doesn't know how to do it. No, with her first husband. But is she like so rich that there's always been someone to do the housework? I don't know. Well, she says it's a fear because she's been a fashion icon since day dot. And even now she's had this kind of revamped look. I think it's because she's always, she said it's because she's afraid she's been a fashion icon since Day Dot. And even now she's had this kind of revamped look. I think it's because she's always, she said it's because she's afraid she's going to,

something will bleed or she'll shrink it or something. And she's like, I just won't. She gets someone else to do it. She just, well, her husband does it. But who did it before the husband? I guess my friends, managers, whoever. She had people in to clean? Yeah.

When you've got kids, your washing increases exponentially it's not just like four versions of you it's more like six versions of you right there's like

wear that once chuck that in the washer like it's always just constantly oh god hideous I've also got a wife that washes her jeans far too much

oh really oh you don't need to do that no she washes her jeans maybe she needs to no I tried to shame her out of it right but it didn't work you got a smelly bum yeah yeah yeah I was gonna say does she need a thicker undie yeah to do that. No. She wasn't to do Jane's fart. Maybe she needs to, no. I tried to shame her out of it. Right.

But it didn't work? You got a smelly bum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, does she need a thicker undie? Yeah.

You know? A reinforced gusset of sorts. Anyway, something to discuss with her. Definitely not to be discussed, I think,

in this public forum. I'll bring it up with her. Yeah. Woman to woman. Maybe you want listeners to message her on Instagram. I don't think so.

And say maybe you need a reinforced gusset. No, no, no, no, no, no. Or a thicker underwear. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Please, I beg you. No, no, you've got no way out of here. What the hell are you going to be unleashing? Listen, now I think,

and I'm not trying to be judgmental here, that as an adult, people should know how to do the washing. Should know how to use their washing machine. Were you ever in a flat with the classic gentle Annie or the Fisher and Paykel with that agitator in the middle? How many people would put powder in the fabric softener?

Oh no, no, yeah, you just sprinkle the powder raw dog in and then the fabric softener on the top. A little bit down the... The amount of people I flattered with that didn't know how to use a washing machine. And then they wonder why their clothes still stunk afterwards. And we actually haven't used any powder. So I want to know The amount of people I flattered with that didn't know how to use a washing machine. And then they wonder why their clothes still stunk afterwards. Yeah. Idiots. And we actually haven't used any powder.

Cake of it. Yeah. So I want to know. Excuse me, you just fingered me to play you another Lily Allen song. Why am I doing your job? You let it lapse. Yeah, I did let it lapse. I feel like you should have picked up the slack.

Where are you going? Where are you headed? No, just go the head again. I would have just looped. I would have just looped. Yeah, just loop. I don't like looping because I always forget to turn looping off on my audio. So you'd rather play a lesser known song?

Next. This was no, wasn't it? No. This sucks. You see, now looping. Familiarity. Like we said. Now, Lily Ellen doesn't know how to do the washing.

I want to know, what is the thing that you don't know how to do? As a grown adult. As a grown-ass adult, what can you not do? Maybe you don't... Good song. Great, good song. This is the explicit version I will have you know. Why has he done this?

He's living dangerously. He's testing us. We want to know, what is the thing... Oh, yeah. It's about a swear. You can be right on the second line. I didn't know there was a swear word there. I don't know what it is. Yeah, he's painted it down. What is the thing. Oh, yeah. It's about a swear. You can be right on the second line. I didn't know there was a swear word there. I don't know what it is.

Yeah, he's painted it down. What is the thing that you don't know how to do, that you should know how to do as an adult? Maybe you don't know how to ride a bike. Maybe you don't know how to read. Maybe you don't know how to do your job and have a Lily Allen song in the background for when you talk about Lily Allen.

Well, Vaughn has really shown. Aside from aliens and not having the X-Files theme song ready, you know. Vaughn's really shown. I think we're working with an amateur. I'm the one working with two amateurs right now. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Give us a call. You can text her as well.

9696. It's a safe space. You can open up to us and admit that you're an adult that doesn't know how to do something. Now, someone here doesn't know how to mow the lawns. You've got to pump it, you've got to pump it, then you've got to pull it. Yeah, you just do it.

You just try, right? And then you push it over the lawn. You push it over the lawn. Consider the mow. The grass is long, you do that part, and you just keep finding more parts. No, look, we said judgment-free and we're being judgmental. All 800 dials at end.

Someone can't cook rice. Sorry, no, we're judgment-free. I mean, literally, you can buy the packets. Rice is hard to cook. That's why I buy the packets. Someone can't cook rice. Sorry. Now we're in judgment free. I mean, literally, you can buy the packets. Rice is hard to cook. That's why I buy the packets. The 90 second packets.

For God's sake. You're an Asian wife. Currently, though, we would like to know the things that you can't do that you should be able to do because you are a grown ass adult.

Yeah. Lily Ellen doesn't know how to do washing. There we go. I had the song ready that time. That was gorgeous. Jared got that ready

for you. Don't you lie to the people. Shout out to Jared. Now, we're getting a lot of messages in from you lot. So many people don't know how to cook rice. Yeah. It's very hard to cook. It's not.

1 to 1.5. I've got one of those microwaves to steamers that you put and it steams it. It's really good. Yeah, nice. Nice, nice, nice. And that's easy. But otherwise, just get the packets. No, 1 to 1.5. one of those microwaves the steam is that you put and it steams it it's really good yeah nice and that's easy but otherwise just get the packets no

1 to 1.5 that rule 2 minutes in the microwave am I washing it am I husking it is it brown am I getting jasmine am I getting short grain

am I getting long grain oh basmati get basmati basmati fragrant yes fragrant Monica what do you not know how to do as a grown adult?

I don't know my times tables apart from 2, 5, 10, and 11. Oh, same. And I'm a primary school teacher. Oh, okay. See, I'm not a primary school teacher, and I only know those ones. Well, you know 9, though. No. 9, but you just add the numbers together.

What? So 9 times 3, you just go back from three is two. Two plus what is nine? Seven. Yeah, so you've lost me, Monica. Nine times three is 27. Nine times four is 36, because three plus six is nine. So what would your best times table be, Monica?

Mine's, I reckon, one and elevens. Oh, zero and one for sure. Yeah. Zero times tables is deceptive, isn't it's 0 and 1 for sure. Zero times tables is deceptive, isn't it? Because the answer is zero. You would have to teach three times tables.

Yeah, but it's a bit of like rote learning as well. So I was telling Jared before that when it comes to basic facts quizzes like in class, I just get like the brightest kid and I get him yell out

the answers or her to do the answers. Yeah, that's good. We just pretend. Yeah, that's good stuff. I can see your makeup. Yeah, man. And then you don't know if they're actually saying the right answer. You're just like, yes.

I normally have it up on my computer secretly just to double check. Yes. The person I have at the moment is pretty on to it. Okay. That's why we've got cell phones, man. I love that. Monica, thank you. Nate, what is it that you can't do as a grown adult?

I can't make a cup of tea to save myself. Oh, darling. It doesn't seem that hard, though. It's water in a bag, isn't it? But everyone has it made differently. Yeah. It stresses me out. When people talk about steeping and milk first or teabag first.

No, not milk first. He says never milk first. Forget milk first. That's a fool's error. Dad's milk first. Well, you tell your dad to get stuffed. Yeah, he's living wrong. He's living wrong.

He's absolutely, he is on his last. Destroy the brakes, the camel's back. Yeah, right. Before he gets put in a Ryman. As if he asks for milk first one more time. I don't even think the Ryman would give him milk first. They wouldn't. No, they wouldn't.

Because they know old people. They'd probably kick him out of the Ryman and have to go to one of those retirement homes where they lock him in a cupboard. So if I said to you now, Nate, like, God, Nate, I would love a cup of tea, what are you going to do? Like, how are you making it for me?

Oh, I'd put the tea bag in and then the hot water. But then I wouldn't know how long to leave it for. Three minutes. Three minutes. Just till it's real brown. I just leave it till it's real brown. Sometimes I'll just give it to them with the bag in and be like, over to you, Sergeant. Yeah, good call.

Nate, thank you. Some messages in. to you sergeant yeah good call Nate thank you some messages thank you for sharing actually Nate that felt vulnerable from him it did I'm a 37 year old male

and I still can't ride a bicycle get some training dad take off did he yeah dad must have left yeah maybe yeah

bastard terrible if he did leave we would have absolutely just hit a nerve because that's the kind of thing as well you can't like I've seen adults learning to swim. It's so much harder to learn to ride a bike as an adult. Yeah.

Well, there's so much more of us as well. Yeah, and because you can't be an adult with training wheels. Like, you can be an adult in a pool learning to swim, but you can't be an adult with training wheels. Yeah, with, like, the little, like, tassels on the handles and stuff. It's a bit weird. The little beads on the spokes. Restringing the weed eater. I've been shown before

I still can't work it out. I used to love doing that as a kid. I always think it's going to go off my hand. Did you ever have one where you wound heaps on and it came off

a little bit? It was like plastic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff. That's nice. Good stuff. That's nice. Another rice cooker.

I can't cook rice in a pot. I'm a qualified chef and I have been for 10 years. I've never been successful at cooking rice in a pot. I've got a rice maker. It's amazing rice every time. So do I. It's called a pot and a tap.

Have some respect for the rice. I'm 43 and I can't blow up balloons. Neither. Neither. Really? I had to blow up balloons for the party we had in Italy. And I'm afraid of balloons popping, so they were all real small.

Oh, embarrassing. My mum came out and was like, oh, have you blown them? They done. So they just kind of looked like they were three days old and just deflating. That's enough.

Someone said that they don't know how to open tin cans. Very hard to open a tin can if it doesn't have a pull tab. I do get aggrieved now when a can doesn't have a pull tab. No, it's... Oh, yeah, I do get aggrieved now when a can doesn't have a pull tab. Yeah, but what about

when the pull tab comes off? Oh, my God, I hate that. Yeah. I'm like, why bother? Yeah. I had a flatmate who would just not know how to peel potatoes.

To be honest, I don't know why we're still peeling potatoes. Scrub the potato. Scrub. The skin rules. Nah, if I'm doing a mash, it's coming off.

I know. It's a mash, it's coming off. I know. It's a mash, a bit of texture, a bit of life. Bit of, bit of effervescence. You know, bit of Jenny's sake. Have you got some evanescence on tap? Have you got evanescence? I just said effervescence. You've got to play evanescence.

That's the rule. It's not ready today. You're not ready today. Not evanescence. 31-year-old female, I can't put air in my tyres, can't put rice in a pot, can't change a tyre, but I can change my oil. So I feel like that balances it out.

It actually does balance it out a little bit. Yeah, that's good stuff. Not if you burst your tyre though, because it was flat. I can fill my car up and put oil in it, but anything else like putting water in it or changing a tyre, don't know.

Yeah. No idea. That's what the AA's for, or roadside rescue. I work with a woman in her 60s who's never pumped gas into her own tank. Blows my mind. Her husband always, well, either she's with her husband or her husband goes and fills up a car for her.

Oh. Sounds like he's nipping out for a take away in a cigarette. And that's weaponised incompetence. It totally is. Now, we've actually, just to, may I sidestep, we've actually had quite a few messages in saying it is milk first. Someone even claiming to be British. I'm English and always milk first, but only a tiny bit.

No. But is that, are we talking like milk in a cup and then you pour it from a teapot that's already been brewed? Because even then, you've got to put the tea in and then you add milk. Because then you can see how much milk you're adding. Exactly. To hit that perfect beige.

Yeah, that's probably why they were expelled from Britain and sent here. That's probably why they're here. Because milk first. 53-year-old woman can't poach an egg. I'm not great. I'm fantastic. You are. I know.

I'm not great. You do the swirly thing, don't you? I do the swirly thing. A couple of blocks of vinegar there. It's like a little cafe. And put all the eggs in at once. Oh. Yeah, see, I can't do it.

That's a tip for a poach. Crack them all into a bowl. Yep. That you can get into the pot. Also, I'll go a deep pot. Oh. I'm not afraid to go a deep pot because then you can really get your whirlpool going. Oh, I'll go a shallow.

And then put them all in the middle at the same time and they'll wind themselves on. Really? I might get a lesson. I'm like a hawk. You're like Gordon Ramsay, but not. I say I prefer scrambled eggs because it's really the only way I know how to cook them. Because it's easy. Yeah, I'll be like, do you know what I fancy?

A fried egg today. Why? Because it's just easy. Just crack it in. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. All right, we're giving it another shot to receive a jingle for Shannon's hacks, which she'll only get when she gets five stars max for Shannon's hacks.

Now, Shannon. Yes. You have a travel hack for us. Yes. In this cosy living cry, baggage can be so expensive. But you need to take all your cute stuff to have your hot girl Europe, you know? Do you know what's so annoying? When I was coming back from my holiday in Italy,

I was feeling my bag and I was like, it's too heavy. So I took out a bunch of stuff and there was some little scales in the apartment I was staying in and I was like, hey, I'm getting close to around 25. Dumped a whole bunch of stuff with my parents, got to the airport, I had a 30kg allowance, I could have taken it.

No, that was so annoying. Anyway, side step. This could help you next time you travel, that was so annoying. Anyway, side step. This could help you next time you travel, Hayley. Okay. So basically if you've got lots of handbags you want to travel with, again, maybe you're going to Europe for a hot girl summer. Why do you need more than one handbag? I didn't take any handbags. Do you go with lots of different

outfits? No, I took no handbags. Okay, well imagine you took lots of different handbags to Europe. You did have a money belt. I have a money belt. Yeah, okay. So they take up a lot of space, also so does your stuff. So what you do is you get through security. Don't do this before security. Okay.

Then you take out from your bag maybe three, four little handbags and you wear a nice poofy dress with lots of space and some denim shorts underneath. Oh, I'm uncomfortable. No, no, no. So in each of your belt loops, you attach one of your handbags with some denim shorts underneath. Oh, I'm uncomfortable. No, no, no. In each of your belt loops, you attach one of your handbags with some stuff in it.

Shannon, this is a dumbass. Now your dress covers your handbags. You can get them on the plane. Once you're on the plane, put the handbags in your wherever. You can take off the denim shorts and be comfy. But for that short time where you need to get on with one carry-on. So I'm wearing a 1940s poofy style rock and roll sort of skirt.

Hiding four or five attached handbags. Deadly ponies. Handbags. They don't have a lot in them. Nothing. Just the bags. No, they've got stuff. It'll help you get some weight out of your carry-on.

But if you have to do it after security, you've already checked your bag in. It's already been weighed. Are you only taking carry-on with you? Don't they weigh your carry-on once you get through? Sometimes. No, not once you get through. Sometimes. No, very rarely. You're getting through and then you've got to make it

look all good and stuff, so just chuck them on your hips. This is the worst. Have you ever seen an airport? You came to Fletch, King of Travel. Yes. Who I always like, if Sade's an organiser, I'll be like, what would you do?

And he panics so much that he does it for me. You came to the King of Travel with this peasant tip? Terrible hack. Oh, terrible hack. Terrible. Mate, I actually thought it was a good idea. So hang on, you're going through with a high-waisted, poofy, chuliuli skirt and you've got

like four handbags on your denim shorts. Yes, through each belt loop. Oh no, Shannon. I'm not saying you're going to look like an absolute idiot. I'm giving this no stars. Zero stars for me. I'm giving this zero stars out of five. You have moved so far away from a jingle

it's not funny. I really thought I was going to get at least one. No. Vaughn? How many stars? Zero. Zero stars. I'm livid.

She's still talking. Karwin, you're giving this zero stars. Admit it. I'm just so confused. She warned me off air. I told her. Jared, how many stars? Zero.

Collectively zero stars, Shannon. The worst hack, this is worse than the Uber one. The kebab shop. The kebab Uber. Ordering a kebab on Uber Eats. You know what, if we could retrospectively grade it, it feels like that's upwards of a three now. It was terrible at the time, but this one's really in the doldrums.

Shannon, Shannon, Shannon. I think instead of making you an intro, I think we almost dropped the segment. No. It's getting that bad. No, we simply must. Do you know what we must do? What?

As your punishment for this god awful hack. Yeah. The next time we, as a show, travel for work, I demand that you wear a ginormous poofy skirt and you have to carry all of our handbags on your denim short loops. I will do that. I accept my punishment.

And I'll come back with a better hat. Okay. Good. She's learning. Next on the show there are... Is she? I don't know. I don't know if she is.

Next on the show there are petitions. People want change. And you know what? I'm on board with this idea. Yes. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We love going to concerts

and more and more we've been experiencing artists doing concerts on like Thursdays, Tuesdays, Mondays. Well I put in the Troye Sivan concert which is like not till December but that's like a Monday or a Tuesday. It's a Monday. I'm looking at it now. Monday, December 2nd.

Jared and I are off to Iron Maiden. That's on a Monday. We went to a concert last year on a Thursday, and then you've got to come to work. And yes, we get up early, but it's rough for everyone. Producer Karwin is going to G Flip tonight. Yeah, I can't wait. The watch.

The watch is... Yeah, baby G Flip tonight. Yeah, I can't wait. The watch. The watch is... Yeah, baby G Flip. Yeah. And you and a lot of your friends are sick of these late concerts. Oh my gosh. During the midweek. Oh my gosh. It's Tuesday.

Like even for my friends who have a normal 9 to 5 or 8.30 to 5 or whatever time schedule, I'm like, this is insane. This is a sign that you're elderly Gen Z. Yeah. Is it though? Is it though? She's millennial cusp. Here's the thing.

I'm going to G Flip tonight. Guess what time they come on stage? Nine. Nine thirty. Oh yeah. And you know they're going to be fashionably late. But for sure. Is it Spark?

Ten to ten. Does Spark always have an 11 curfew right? power station oh okay but like even if G plays for an hour and a half say

yeah we're at 11 we're at 11 and they won't either they'll go late and then you gotta get home I live about half an hour away

so then it's half an hour I'm going to sleep at midnight yeah yeah and you're getting up at 4 3 hours sleep for me but like you yeah you wake up super early but are your friends that don't wake up super early So then it's half an hour. I'm going to sleep at midnight. Yeah, yeah, and you're getting up at four. Three hours sleep for me. But like you, yeah, you wake up super early, but are your friends that don't wake up super early the same?

Yeah, so my friend has gone to the gym this morning extra, extra early for longer so that she doesn't have to go tomorrow morning because she knows she'll get home late. Oh, we're doing a double workout on a day. Yeah, that's smart. And then one of my other friends is just like, that's my bedtime too. Like my flatmate goes to bed at basically the same time

as I do. I feel like this happens to us because we're in New Zealand and we're the bottom of the world and they come to us after they go to Australia and they give Australia the Saturday night, the Friday night, and they take Sunday off to travel to us and then they give us a dirty Monday. Monday or Tuesday. I mean, G Flip's got a lot of energy as well. I mean,

I can't believe I'm going to Iron Maiden on a Monday. Yeah, it doesn't have Monday energy, does it? It's not Metal Mondays. No. But it is. It's because we're sort of like the last destination. Is it because everybody else going to Iron Maiden is going to be retired

so they don't have to get up for work the next day? You know what? Probably. But also, I think it's not just us, though. So a couple of artists who are smaller over the last two weeks or so have been in Australia. One called The Last Dinner Party. They went quite viral on TikTok recently.

Their show last week started at 6.30. They were on stage. Stunning. That's good. Finish work at 5. Finish work at 5. Drink your poo and a snack. Yep.

And then straight into the concert. I like that. And then another artist, Lizzie McAlpine, was on stage at like 7, 7.30ish, but didn't have an opener. Oh yeah, that's good. Lovely. Screw you.

It's just her. It's not fair to see the opener. You just go there. Yeah, this is nice. We love supporting openers. Oh yeah, I suppose so. Oh, Hayley just said screw them. I did, eh?

Controversial. Well, it depends on who it is. But then you can have an opener, but just have them on like at five. Have them on about three o'clock, school pick-up. Yeah. We're getting in there to the concert, enjoying the opener. Yeah. Opener, or even opener at seven,

main act eight. I totally agree. Yeah, that'd be nice. Like, this, it's like, it harks back, like, remember when you used to go to town, and you'd be having drinks before town? You'd be like, eleven, how embarrassing, we can't leave yet. Yeah. Imagine! Our favourite thing is when we make a social occasion and we say, 11, how embarrassing, we can't leave yet. Yeah. Imagine. Our favourite thing is when we make

a social occasion and we say like, what time are we kicking off? Oh, that's four. You know, and then our normal friends can join us later. Everyone out of the house

by nine, it's delicious. Done by nine. Done by nine. Even if you have lots to drink, even if it's a big night, you're still getting plenty of sleep.

It's the way to go. I think we should, I think we should, I think we should do a petition or something. A petition, yeah. I think we should, we'll should I think we should do a petition or something a petition yeah I think we should we'll get one going

and we'll get lots of signatures on it and we'll change the culture 3 o'clock opener 5.30 main act doors shut by 8 and in bed by 9

in bed by 9 yeah play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley the thumbs up

we've talked about it before Because my mother is a big thumbs up No matter what you say Yeah she'll just send an emoji And that's it As someone who would Absolutely love to be a grandmother Right

My Patsy would love to be a grandmother And I have told her I'm flat out not having children If the day ever happened And I text her and I said I'm pregnant She'd be like Thumbs up

Do you know what I mean No matter what I could be like I've been in a horrendous car'd be like, thumbs up. Do you know what I mean? No matter what. I could be like, I've been in a horrendous car accident. They don't know if I'll make it or not. And even if it's an emoji, you'll message parents and they'll just say, okay. I'd rather, okay. Good.

Yep. Yes. Okay. I just like literally sent you three paragraphs. Yeah. Yeah. I got a tattoo sort of in my mum's honour yesterday. And she said,

why'd you choose those champagne glasses? Because I got coupes instead of the tall ones. Oh, wow. What are coupes? Are they the Great Gatsby ones? Fancy ones that you, yeah. Anyway, whatever. Thumbs up.

I'm kind of with her on that one. It was almost as good as a thumbs up. Well, Gen Z are the ones who absolutely hate it the most. They're saying it is the rudest response to any kind of message you can get. Now, producer Jared actually messaged me before saying any audio for this little bit and then I said no and then he sent an accidental

thumbs up and I sent him two and then he said oh my god, I hate that and then I said a little mini reply to his and it was a thumbs up. It's torturous. It is so rude. Or like in a Facebook chat when you accidentally thumbs up. It's so embarrassing. Because you know on Messenger

if you're in a group you can customize the emoji response. So in one of my groups it's a champagne glass. A coupe style. I accidentally changed the theme of Facebook. You know in Facebook Messenger you click when no writing is and it'll be like do you want to changed the theme of Facebook. You know in Facebook Messenger you click when no writing is and it'll be like

do you want to change the theme? Yes. And I pocket changed the theme. And then I was talking to a mate about something and he's like come and give me a hand. I was like that'd be awesome. And then I thought it was going to be a thumbs up but it was a heart. Changed the whole dynamic of it. In our work chat we have two African American

women in the background like cartoons and the of it. In our work chat, we have two African-American women in the background, like cartoons. What? And the thumbs up is a star. That's our work chat. You did that. Oh, what's this then? Oh, yeah, this was a theme. Did you pocket change the theme? Pocket change is not.

Purpose. Impact through art. I like the colours. Right. Well, so thumbs up is a no. Gen Z is on a mission. I just, I like the colours. Right. Okay, right. Well, so thumbs up is a no. Gen Z is on a mission. They're like, ooh, and they're going to start

calling us out on it. If you send a thumbs up, they're going to be like, ooh. What like, public name and shame? They'll call us out. Yeah, they're going, they're everywhere.

They're sharing on TikTok how cringe it is. They're making us more cringey if we use thumbs up. So we can't do, or you've just changed the theme in our chat to brat. You know that green brat, brat summer? Yeah. And now our thumbs up is a green. So we can't do it. Or you've just changed the theme in our chat to brat. You know that green brat?

Brat summer? Yeah. And now our thumbs up is a green heart. I don't love it. Oh, green heart there. Oh, and it did a little dance. So if you're a thumbs upper. It's time to retire.

Whakaronga mai. Retire the thumbs up. Nah. Yes, old man. Nah. The thumbs up's great. Well, then you're getting cancelled by Gen Z. Oh, no.

What will they do? Are they going to have to have a sleep? What are they going to do? Are they going to work from home? Oh, no. Are they going to wear baggy jeans? Oh, no. What are they going to do?

Try to hair up with a scrunchie? Lovely producer, Shannon, Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Lovely producer Shannon, who received an appropriate roasting earlier this morning for her terrible travel hack. We're back with you, my darling, because you have revealed to us that you and your partner have a new hobby together. Yeah, so we're like maybe two months into living with each other and I'm kind of like, I want to keep the spice alive, you know? I don't want to become like flatmates.

I want him to be my partner, my lover. So I was like, I want to start doing something. Don't say that. I want him to be my partner. I want him to be my lover. So I was like, what's something we could do together? Because we often have like separate phone time, you know. I was like, let's do something that every day we can spend half an hour together.

And my partner is a magician. Don't laugh. I wasn't. And one of his skills is juggling. And he was. I thought that was primarily for clowns. Stay with it. No, so he can juggle. and he was doing it around the apartment,

and I was like, I should learn. I said, can you teach me to juggle? So now we're three days into juggle training. Are you hearing this coming out of your mouth? Yeah. Are we naked when we're doing that? Where's the romance? Are we juggling wine before we serve it?

No, no, no. We made rice balls. Like, I got balloons and I poured. Like, poi, like making poi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little poi, yeah. Yeah, so you get, like, two balloons and you fill it with rice and then we have two sets of them and he's been teaching me.

Yeah. But now he's gone for a week, so it's up to me to continue the practice to surprise him when he gets back. Hopefully I'll be up to three balls at that point. Are you just doing one at the moment? No, I'm on two. I'm going to go away for a week that my lover gets up to three balls while I'm gone.

Yeah, absolutely. Pop stuff. Never more. So this is your new cute, fun couples hobby. So I come home and we're like, ooh, juggle time. We've been juggling. And at the end of the, I don't know

if I want to ask. At the end of the juggling, are you guys so hot and horned up that it leads to more intimacy? It gets quite tiring, like, my arms get quite sore, so not really. And I accidentally, I was doing, I sat down for a while and I accidentally hit my head on the wall while juggling

and I got a big bump. So that was not too sexy for me. I'm not the sexiest juggler. It's not going well. You'd say it's not going well. But maybe in a week when he returns, once I'm better, then we can maybe spice it up. I like the idea of the sentiment is there

to sort of join in doing something. My brother-in-law stayed last night and he was telling me that him and his wife are doing that served card game. Have you seen this around? Where there's a deck of 62 cards and you split it, you and your partner, and then you set a time,

so you go three months or six months, we're going to work it, and you serve them with the card and you've got to do whatever it says on it. And some of them are fun like. Like six of spades. No, no, no. It'll say like, I'm in charge of what you're wearing today.

Or you have to pamper me to a session of a spa hour. Or like, you've got 10 minutes to get ready. And I'm taking you out. And you serve it. And you can't say no. Oh, OK. That's kind of cool. It's a little fun thing as well.

Because I've just had a baby. And they've been married. One's screwing his face up. Because it's leaving the house. Have they tried one person saying, Jesus Christ, we've got a reel in the spending, we don't have money, and the other one will be like,

I know, I know, and then just exactly ignoring it and going and spending more money? No. That's quite a fun couples activity. That's quite a fun hobby is arguing. Yeah, I guess so. It's competitive arguing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one wants to lose. No one wants to lose. Well, I guess so. Competitive arguing. No one wants to lose. No one wants to lose. Well, I think because that doesn't really sound up my alley. Shannon with, I'm jobless but that doesn't really sound up my alley. Jobless? That's just not for us. Jobless. Jobless.

I am jobless but not for me. I think we should get some calls in of the cute we'll call it cute but it could be cringe couples activity that you do with your partner

because I know that people try to do this all the time we should do this we should get into this we should start tennis we should do this I want to know what they are

maybe we'll get inspired or maybe we'll throw up on here maybe we'll get some nice cute ideas 0800 DARLS AT M you can give us a call. Text through 9696.

What is you? What is your cute couples activity with your partner? We got there. Good England. Oh my lord. What is your cute couples activity with your partner? Producer Shannon and her partner, who is a magician, have started

a cute couples activity of juggling. Cute or vomit-inducing. Well, there's a little bit there, but it has inspired us to hear more of these cute couple activities that people are doing. Jusie, good morning. Morning. What is it that you and your partner are doing?

Cute couples activity. My husband is airsoft obsessed and I'm not overly particularly interested, but every now and then I kind of suck it up and I go out to the bush at Tech Park in the Bay of Plenty and we shoot each other with BB

guns, like get dressed up in cute camo and stuff and like play military simulation games with 30 other people shoot each other wait so it's not paintball it's like it's airsoft it's airsoft babies plastic oh okay i've been hit by a bb gun before it hurts yeah yeah it does but he's like kitted me out so um yeah it doesn't hurt so bad so you're you wait you've got the gears and everything oh my gosh like he's been doing it for nine years,

and just, like, probably once or twice a year, I'll be like, okay, I'll come. And that keeps him happy. Does he ever, like, stand behind you and use you as a human shield, like, walking slowly forward? Oh, my God, that's not romantic. Yeah, I'm like, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh, guh. We are tactical.

Wow. Tactical. Oh, my God, I love that. That's so funny. That is really cute. That is cute. That is cute. We'll call it cute, not cringe. Because you could easily be like, you just go and play your war games.

I'll be at home. You ever seen the horror on a man's face when his wife tells him she might take up golf to spend more time with him? No, it sounds like her partner actually wants this. But, yeah, you're only going a couple of times a year, so he's like, this is cool, it's still my activity, sometimes we enjoy it

together. No, but do you think he'd want you to go every weekend though? Yes, he would. Yeah, if we had babysitters. Yeah, oh right.

See, he's just saying that because he knows that the babysitter's out of like, it's an extra expense that no one can afford on the cosy living for I.

Oh God, no. And some people like spending lots of time with each other. Some people do enjoy actually spending time. Yeah, that's why he took up a hobby where he's shooting other dudes in the bush. Jessie, thank you. Ella, what is a cute couple thing that you do with your partner?

We do ballroom dancing together. We've been doing it twice a week for like almost three years. Wow. You must be good now. Yep. We did our first competition earlier this year. That was quite fun.

Were you a couple that got into ballroom dancing? You didn't meet through ballroom dancing? No. So I was already doing it and then I managed to drag him along with me but my parents actually met through ballroom dancing. Oh my god, this is so sweet. And so he just happened drag him along with me. But my parents actually met through ballroom bouncing. Oh, my God, this is so sweet. And so he just happened to have some good coordination.

Well, I was kind of like, oh, you know, maybe you could just try one session with me to see how it goes. No pressure. And then, yeah, then he fell in love with it as well. So now we do it together. And how did you do when you did your competition? Did you win? We got some second and third placing. Oh, that's really good.

That's really good. What were his other hobbies before ballroom dancing? He used to play football. Yeah, yeah. Okay. He liked snowboarding. So he was a sporty dude and you got him in a little tuxedo, one of those tight little tuxedos.

I'll say it. She must be hot. Ella must have been hot enough for the first time. She's like, well, let's try ballroom dancing. He's like, okay. Because, you know, when you're in the early stages of a relationship with someone hotter than you, you just got to do whatever they say. You hot, Ella? Yeah.

Yeah, she's hot. She's hot. She's hot. Ella, thank you. Thank you, hot Ella. Yeah. Yeah, she's hot. She's hot. Ella, thank you. Thank you, hot Ella. Caroline, what is the cute couples thing that you do with your partner? Hi, guys. We buy Lego sets and we build the Lego sets while watching the related movie.

Oh, so you get like Batman Lego and then watch Batman. Yeah, so we've just bought the Millennium Falcon, the big one, for our 10-year anniversary. We built bag by bag each, and we managed to watch all the Star Wars while building it. Do you want to leave your husband and get together with Vaughn? Because his jaw's on the floor currently. Oh, seriously.

He minds because I tend to impulse buy extra Lego sets, so now he's like, well, you're going to have to buy me more so that I can catch up with how many you fill. It's not fair. Oh, you've lost him. He doesn't like spinny money. Wow. Oh, that's great.

Caroline. That's awesome. Caroline sounds like a dream. Some messages in. My partner and I play PlayStation 5, Gran Turismo 7 together. We both have a steering wheel set up, so we race. Oh. And I'll often beat his ass.

Yeah, nice. I caught up with a mate at the weekend who's been doing 20 minutes of mindfulness with her partner every night. Oh, gosh. Shoot me right now. I know, it's so good for you. You know, does your phone ever go, does your phone ever go, hey, it's started to die. It's so good for you. But I don't have the attention span. I know. I literally caught up with a friend. good. Hey, it started the day. It's so good for you. Maybe I've opened the mind for that.

But I don't have the attention span. I know. I literally caught it with a friend. She was like, I've been meditating. It's changed my life. I was like, that sounds like it would be so rewarding. I've been. I just can't. I've been medicating.

It's changed my life. Same. Changed my life. My wife took up roller skating. Oh. So I got rollerblades. Right. Skates and blades. Skates

and blades. We skate around the driveway while our kids watch, not being able to do it. I'm 32, she's 37. That's pretty cute. That's pretty cute. The kid's watching you. But what kind of parents are like we're roller skating, we're roller skating. The kids are like, we want to roller skate. No! Well, they might be too young. Oh my God, listen to this. My partner

and I free dive together, but I just got him into tank diving and was going well until I had to save his life not so long ago at the bottom of the ocean. So free diving's hold your breath, go down. As far as you can go. Tank diving's scuba? Scuba. You put the tank on

your back and you go down. You can go deeper. Oh no, I don't like any of that. I love swimming but I don't like going far, far down. Yeah, swim in the deep end of a pool. Yeah. Happy. Yeah. My husband races stock cars,

and I help pass him his helmet and gloves and do up his neck brace. It's every weekend in summer. That doesn't sound like they're loving this. It might have been my tone of which I read it, but you just pass him your helmet and gloves? It was your tone. No, but she's probably that.

She's safety. Yeah. Yeah, but she wants to drive. Everybody that's safety wants to work their way up to driving, right? This sounds fun. My fiance and I do this cute thing where he tells me we're going to go to the gym together because it would be really fun to go together. And then we argue about why I don't want to go to the gym.

Then we eventually do go to the gym. And afterwards, we have another argument how I don't feel better and full of endorphins after going. It's a hoot. Yeah, it's a hoot for the wedding. She doesn't actually feel good with the endorphins? No. She's lying. My partner and I have a question box.

We pop a question box and any time a question pops up then we sit down and we go through the questions but the only deal is you can ask each other anything but you have to answer it yourself. Oh my god, it's like I'm married at first sight. They have the questions around the dinner table and you have to answer it yourself. Oh my God. It's like Married at First Sight. They have the questions around the dinner table and you have to answer it. That's horrible.

What questions are you putting in the box? We like to take lime scooters home after date night. It's like Mario Kart down the cycle lanes. Isn't that cute? I hate you with the helmet on though because Mario Kart's often, lots of spills in Mario Kart. Oh, my partner and I are planning on learning

te reo Māori together. Now that's a hard thing to do, learn a language, let alone do it with someone else. Yeah, but if you were doing it with someone else, you could start at the same level of conversation though, right?

Kia ora, darling. Kei te pihi a koe. I didn't study this week. Kei te sick of your shit Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Fact of the day Day day day day This week on Fact of the Day It's things that had to change their name week.

Okay. And I want to start with a place you thought would have changed their name, a Canadian town, the town of Swastika, Ontario. Oh, yeah. Founded in 1908, adopted its name years before the Nazi party got the Swastika. During World War II, of course, Canada is of the British Commonwealth. Yeah. They removed the swastika sign from the sign

and replaced it with the town, they renamed the town Winston. Well, as soon as the World War II was over, the residents were livid and they said, no way. And they put the swastika sign and said, to hell with Hitler, we came up with it first. And so you can still visit swastika sign and said, to hell with it. We came up with it first. And so you can still visit Swastika, Ontario. You do that thing where you subtly change up the

pronunciation. Swastika or something. You know? Swastika. Yeah. And they'll be like, oh, is that how it's pronounced? Yeah, people have always said it's Swastika for years. Yeah. Yeah. Swastika.

Yeah. So they didn't. Here are some places that did. Oh. That's what generally. Yeah. Yeah. That's Vastaica. Yeah. So they didn't. Here are some places that did. Oh. There was a town in the Philippines called Sasmone but apparently

it sounds like sexmone so everybody formerly known as sexmone Okay. Officially known as sexmone because it was a place and this was something I learnt I'm dealing with towns

but lots of like lanes and stuff were places where women of the night congregated. And they all had horrendous names that were actually printed. Like grope and all grope soap, something, grope that lane. Right. All that sort of stuff. Actually a fishing line too.

Grope soap, did you say? Get yourself a bar of grope soap. Grope soap. But Six Moan was a place and Spanish fries, of course the Spanish colonized, invaded, the Philippines. And they were like, no, it's called Sassmoan. And they're like, no, it's not Sexmoan. And so everybody completely ignored that it was called that,

although it is officially now changed to Sassmoan. Sassmoan. In 1991. Yeah. You've got to hit the O and the A and it softens it. Without a doubt, in my research of places that have changed names, without a doubt, worldwide, the most changed place names are because it had the N word in the title.

Oh, wow. And there are heaps. United States and Canada. Don't say them. What's that? I know you're not going to, but for some reason I just felt the need Canada. Don't say them. What's that? I know you're not going to, but for some reason I just felt the need to say, don't say them.

And so I was at United States, Canada, makes sense. And there was so many in there, heaps of them have been changed. Some of them as late as like, not that long ago. I'm talking in the last 20 years. Yeah. 21st of July, 24. You might be thinking, that's typical

of those terrible nations. Yep. Well, remember in 2016 when New Zealand had to, 2016, when New Zealand had to rename three locations. That's right. Inward Head, Inward Hill and Inward Stream. We all officially called that until 2016 in New Zealand, but they got changed.

I do not remember that at all. South Island. Sonoma. Son remember that at all. South Island. San Amor. San Amor. San Amor. And the one that I want to finish on, the biggest one, you probably will have seen the signs, is the German. Great film.

Oh, no, the Austrian town on the German border of F-U. Yeah. Beco and Andre. The full, people would have their photos taken with it. the German border of F-U-G-G-I-N-G. The full, people would have their photos taken with it. People would steal the signs. The main reason they changed it, in 2021, they changed it to thugging, F-U-G-G-I-N-G, from the full swear word with I-N-G on the end. Isn't because they were like, oh, it's offensive.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It was because the signs kept getting stolen. And they were like, we simply can't keep up with this. But, I mean, fugging is still really funny. Yeah. So in 2004, it failed. The locals were like, no, we will not change it to fugging. But then in late 2020, they agreed.

And in 2021, the official spelling changed. Let's bolt down the signs better. Yeah, no, we will not change it to fagging. But then in late 2020, they agreed. And in 2021, the official spelling changed. Let's bolt down the signs better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really like concrete them in. That was another thing about some of the places that have changed their names or had names that people found very funny is they literally had to make their road signs huge engraved stones. Yeah.

So they couldn't be stolen. They did this in this Austrian. Yeah, that's it. That's welcome to this town. They did that and someone still managed to steal it. Yeah, I know. I always remember in New Plymouth there's a Shortland Street and that's

on a really tall sign. Signpost. With a pole. Holden Road or something. Holden Street in Hamilton was the same. Right at the top of a really tall post because people get stealing them. There's other places. Yeah, that is great.

Yeah, it's crazy. Wow, wow, wow. So today's fact of the day is lots of places have changed their name due to terrible choices throughout our history. But sadly, in 2021, the Austrian town of, you know, changed its name officially to the Austrian town of Fugging. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. So I had a while back when I kept on ordering things on like Mighty Ape and it was getting sent to my old address. Yeah. And luckily the human being who bought that property off of us follows me on Instagram and he would message me, bless him, and be like, you've done it again, Hayley. You're an idiot.

You've literally done it again and again and again. Well, kind of worse this time. So I made an order from Mecca, you know, beauty cosmetics, et cetera. Yeah. Based on something I saw on myself, on my body, that I was like, I need to get some stuff for that. We'll get to that. I made this order,

and usually Mecca's very quick with delivery. Yeah. And I thought yesterday, my bloody Mecca order hasn't shown up. Yeah. Because I noticed the thing on my body again that I want to deal with. God, if only there was a store like four

minutes that way. Yeah. Like that you could go to after work, you could literally walk there in five minutes. But what happened is I saw this thing on my person and I was like, I need to act now. So I went online and I did it. Okay. What has happened is I've just went and looked and did the tracking and it said

tried to deliver, tried again and then delivered and signed for by a signature that I don't recognise. And I was like, so it hasn't been signed for at my house. It hasn't been signed for at work because I know the reception. They always say NZME or something like that. And then I looked down at their delivery address.

It's not my old address. It's my old, old, old address. And I don't know how it's there because I've ordered things from mecca since then but it's fine so it's literally a house i lived i rented in mount albert when i first moved to oh wow now i don't know who lives at that house yeah but they have now signed for my package what is in the package i was like maybe if it's a young person, they might see that it's a box from Mecca and be like, screw it, this silly tart. I'll just have a look what's in here. Yeah.

I noticed when I returned from my holiday, I have a sort of a cluster of pimples on my butt. That's interesting. Yeah. From sitting on a plane seat for so long? I don't know. And I was like, how long have you been here for? Sort of a butt knee situation.

Okay. Then I was like, oh, and I've been at the beach, you know. Yeah. Flaunting my butt everywhere. Yeah. And I've noticed a rather situation on my butt. Of butt knees. Of butt knee.

And so I went to Mecca and I was like Googling, like what to do about butt pimples. Yeah. And I found a number of solutions that come through from Mecca. So my concern now is that some person is going to open up my package hoping that there's like mascara. And all it is is four targeted products for the pimples on my ass. And they're going to see my name and go, she's got butt pimples.

So I thought I'd get ahead of it. And announce to the entire country that you have butt knee and to get ahead of this. But somehow upon my ass there is some pimples and I was trying to deal with them quietly. In your mind. On my own. Breaking this down, in your mind, you're such a big deal

that this person is going to immediately be like a package at a courier and they're like, Hayley Sproul. You know she's on Taskmaster now. I'm on Taskmaster now, so globally famous. This could be on the Daily Mail in the UK. Hayley Sproul. But even if they don't recognise my name, I just think it's funny that they're going to open up this package

and hope it's a really cool package and it's literally butt-specific. Ass cream. Ass cream. Also, why would somebody open their front door and there was a package? Did they not read the name? No, I know. Or did they just sign and then they were like, oh, wait, this isn't for me. Signed for it.

Are you going to go round there? No. Because it's just butt stuff. How much was this all worth, this butt acne stuff? $115. Oh, my God, you have to go round there. I can't. I can't.

She's running a price on. Here's an idea. Pay Shannon $20 to go round, and she'll do it. Will you say, I believe my butt acne medication has been delivered here? Yeah, absolutely. I have no shame. What price would you do it for? $20? $20, yeah. And maybe a bottle of bubbly would be nice. Yeah, absolutely. I have no shame. What price would you do it for? 20? 20 bucks, yeah. And maybe a bottle of bubbly would be nice.

Oh yeah, see you're willing to write off $115 because of the pure shame of it. So you think I should pay $115? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because you could just literally go and buy more. Oh, just go buy more. Maybe $100 and then a bottle of bubbly. No, again, it's the same. Where are you getting a bottle of bubbly less than

$15? I'll need to be reimbursed for the diesel as well to get out there. And also make engine lights on so if you could fix that. So I can safely drive from there. Reorder. I think Hayley's got to drive you and wait around the corner. Yeah. Send you in.

And then we could get nuggies on the way home because that is our tradition when we drive together. It is our tradition when we drive together. It is our tradition when we drive together. Okay. Well, I will go and get Shannon to pick up my butt acne creams. A lot of people messaging in saying, same with the butt pimples. So I'll let you know how I go with them. I thought you would have just had to give that some time and some air, some open air.

Yeah, but open air. Are you telling me to take my pants off in the workplace? No. That's actually unacceptable. I actually remain fairly quiet about this whole thing

because I don't feel comfortable discussing a woman's arse. I'm a married man, but that does not give you an access to tell her to get it out, sweetheart. Are you for real? You'll remember last summer, To tell her to get it out, sweetheart? Are you for real? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

You'll remember last summer, summer 23, 24, was the summer of high-vis. For me. Fully grasped and became my father. Every time I went outside to do something at home, on Le Petit Finlet, I would wear high-vis. Now, then it got to autumn and would wear high-vis now then it got to autumn

and I could high-vis it's a little bit cold maybe I should have put a singlet on underneath in winter

Sade said to me good to see you've moved away from the high-vis because of course I have to it's cold you wear a hoodie

when you're outside doing your work and I've only got dark hoodies I took that personally of course so I went to the warehouse at the end of last week and picked myself up a bright, high, orange, high-vis hoodie.

I saw this on Sade's social media. You're embarrassing. The lady at the warehouse said, I don't mean to be creepy, but by you buying this, does it mean later on we're going to be seeing your wife saying how much she hates it on Instagram? Wow, she knew. And I said, no doubt.

And I didn't say anything when I got home. I just put it on and went about my day and then Sade put up a thing on Instagram and said how much she hated it. New high verse. And I said to the lady at the warehouse who predicted this, well done. You and I both knew this was going to happen. So what is it? This is an orange one, isn't it? Orange high verse.

Hoodie. Warm. We're both doing seven days this was going to happen. So what is it? This is an orange one, isn't it? Orange high-vis. Yep. Hoodie. Warm. We're both doing seven days this week, Hayley. Will they let me wear high-vis? No. Because I always struggle whenever there's like a TV thing and they're like, you've got to wear something nice.

I don't like wearing nice things. Can I wear a- Just wear a T-shirt. What if I wear a nice new high-vis? No, just wear a T-shirt. I'm asking Rob, the producer. I don't know if you can hear a word for it. No, could you do a formal high-vis?

Could you get a collared? Yeah, a fluoro tie, a high-vis tie or a bow tie. Yuck. I was just thinking that would be nice. So anyway, I love this hoodie. It's dirty. It's been put through the wash. It's drying as we speak.

I love this hoodie. I wore it all weekend. I went to Mitre 10. Now, you might be familiar with the fact that Mitre 10's colours are orange. Oh, my God. And I was in an orange high-vis, and this lady came up to me.

She's like, excuse me, I need a screw like this. Oh, my God. I'm that woman all the time. I get sent off to the shop with my screw. Yeah. I need these. And I looked at the screws like, well, I know where the screws are

because I have also had to come in with a rogue screw. You didn't say, I don't work screws are because I have also had to come in with a rogue screw. You didn't say, I don't work here. Nope. You helped her. We were four aisles away from the screws and I said, come with me. And so we walked to the screws. This is illegal to impersonate a Mitre 10 worker. It's not illegal.

It is against the law. I never said I was a Mitre 10 worker. She never said, do you work here? She just said, excuse me, I need a screw exactly like this. And I said, come with me. This is perfect. We don't care who helps us.

You just want help. Get me the screws that I've been sending here to retreat. My father's a shocker if he sees somebody like in a store, like Mitre 10,

we were at the same Mitre 10 and dad was there and this lady looked at her a little bit lost and he's like, are you all right? And I'm like, it's not our fault.

If we're old, leave her alone. And she needed something and he found it for her. That's lovely. Father and son, we worked together to find that for her. But then the other day, the lady was like, I need a screw that looks exactly like that. I was like, come with me.

So wait, you found her the screws? Yeah, and I said, oh, what does a screw come out of? She said it was a part from the bathroom, the cabinet, and the screw was completely lost and she just wanted a matching screw. I said, yeah, come on. Go to the cabinet making section. So we went to the section with all the screws and the nails and the screw was completely lost and she just went into a matching screw. I said, yeah, come on. Go to the cabinet making section. So we went to the section with all the screws and the nails and everything,

but you get in the drawers. You get in the drawers. Oh, yeah, right. I don't think you're allowed to open those. A lot of people are scared to open the drawers. Don't be scared to open the drawers. Well, you work there, so you're allowed to. I'm a regular drawer.

I open the drawer and I've got it and I'm like, well, no, that's not it. That's not it. No, no, no, no. We need a four mil and that's not it we need a 4mm and that's not a 4mm I'm wasting your day and I found it and I was like

is the thread the same? it looks the same to me and I was like I will ask does that look the same to you? same thread, same length same top on it same head on it but it was a Phillips head oh right

and she was a square and that was a one was a hex and I said is this going to be a problem have you got an Allen key set at home well she needs a special screwdriver yeah

then you're stuck with a screw you set Allen keys you'll never go wrong but then I was like you know have you ever done kit set furniture and she said yes and I said did you keep the Allen key? Because I

reckon it's about the same size. And she's like, I did. It's in the drawer of stuff in the kitchen. And I said, well, you are on your way, my love. And I'm like, get on you, get out of here. A real employer could have found it. She came back later that day and she said, a man helped me here. One of your

staff helped me and put me wrong. I've had to come all the way back to buy one of these effing screwdrivers. Yes, because I needed a Phillips head and he's given me something else. Nah, nah. It was perfect. It was perfect. It was the closest it was going to get and she didn't mind. At the end of this interaction, did you say to her,

is there anything else I can help you with? No, I just said, do you have a... I say, no, I didn't say, is there anything you can help with? She was like, perfect. I was like, well, have a great day. She was like, we'll see you later. I was like, cheers. Wow.

And then I got back to what I was after. Wow. I mean, you could have probably been home 10 minutes earlier if you hadn't pissed around. Five minutes. And not getting paid for it. Put a smile on the face. But you don't work there.

They're not paying you the commission on the screw. You know, sometimes it's just, it's not about the money. Did you make her buy a pack of like 50? No, that was a good thing. It came in too and I said you could replace the other one with a two pack. So it's a maximum 12 months in prison or a $15,000 fine for impersonating a police officer. Yeah, but this isn't

a police officer. No, but a mighty 10 employee. Surely it's at least 6 months and $10,000. This is fraud. Yeah. Yeah. She got the screws she was after. She had a lovely day. No, she didn't get the screws she was after. Surely it's at least Six months and ten thousand This is fraud Yeah Yeah She got the screw she was after She had a lovely day No she didn't get the screw She was after

You gave her a different head You gave her the wrong head But like It'll fit in the hole The thread was the same It's kind of the same It's pretty much No one will ever notice

She'll know it's there And every time she sees it It won't be one of those things That you see and you're like It'll be one of those things She sees and she'll be like I love that lovely man. That lovely man that works at Mitre 10.