ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 23rd May 2023

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Instagram  World Record Concerts  Hayley Introduced herself  Extreme Home Page Makeover!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, Hayley should be coming to us live from an Airbnb. Hello. Hello.

Isn't technology great? It is something, isn't it? It's amazing. So, I'm broadcasting from a small Airbnb that is close to the set of The Great Kiwi Bake Off, which starts filming today. Season five. Now, if my wife isn't feeling any better later,

are you able to drop my kids off at school? Yeah, I can do that. Swing pass. They'll be at the end of the driveway. And then the school's just down the road from where you are and then on your way. What's wrong with your wife? She's very ill. Was it COVID?

She got the V. She dodged it when there were literally three people infected with COVID in our house. But you'll be all right then. Yeah, well, I'm fresh off. Well, a month, I'm a month off. Yeah, you'd have good immunity. Yeah, hopefully. Yeah.

Hopefully. So, yeah, I've a month off. Yeah, you'd have good immunity. Yeah, hopefully. So yeah, I've got to pick up some COVID tests. Or it could just be the big weekend in Hamilton. Not even Hamilton does this to a woman. I mean, you've got to remember she developed a lifelong immunity to Hamilton. Growing up there. She lived there for 19 years. You kind of have an immunity. You've got the Hamilton antibodies.

Yeah, you've just got to pop back a couple of times a year and get, you know, a bit of a top-up vaccine. Okay, well, maybe she's been gone too long and she's waning. She was drinking straight from the river at the weekend. I thought that was a bold move. That'll be it. That'll be it. That could be it.

That could be it. She's not feeling well at all. Coming up on the show, the top six. Instagram down yesterday. You know, nothing made me feel more smug when you told me Instagram had been down and I hadn't noticed. Oh my god, neither did I. And I was like, who is this new woman?

I think it was when you were at the gym. So you would have been on your shows. You would have been on I was on my shows. On the shows. On the programs. On your... I was watching my stories. You were watching your iPad on the, what, the cross trainer? No, no, I don't do the cross trainer anymore. What do you do? The stairmaster. Stairs and treadmill. Okay. I do realise that the cross trainer's No, no, I don't do the cross trainer anymore. What do you do? The stair master? Stairs and treadmill.

Okay. Did you realise that the cross trainer's very silly and actually doesn't mimic any movement we do as humans? I only don't do it because when you're finished, the calories aren't high enough.

If you did the same 20 minutes on a treadmill, you burn way more calories. I'm all about I want the most out of the least. He wants to close his ring with the least amount of effort. With the least amount of time required to be at that smelly, smelly gymnasium. Well, the top six dealing with the great Instagram outage of May 22 yesterday.

The top six things people were forced to do. Next on the show, though, are Colombian doctors in trouble? Oh, no. And word of warning, Hanvon, if you're still considering that vassy, the vasectomy. Uh-oh. Was he doing lines off of a body? I wasn't going to Colombia to get one done, so...

Well, the story's next. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, we go to Colombia, and one of my favourite cities in the whole world, Medellin. Medellin. Where there's a... No Bogota.

A legal... No, no. No Bogota. Hey! I haven't been anywhere near Colombia. I want to go. Me neither. Beautiful part of the world, top of South America, Central America.

Puppy, puppy, take me. A Colombian doctor has been ordered to pay child support to a patient after a vasectomy he performed on the man proved unsuccessful. But isn't the vasectomy not 100% anyway? Yeah, I always thought. Like, that's sort of a known thing is it's like 90-something. And you're supposed to... Yeah.

You're supposed to have a clean-out. 20 clean-outs, I've been told, by a friend. What? 20 clean outs and then you go back for a test, don't you? What do you mean? What's a clean out? You're playing with yourself. 20 times.

Doctor. Approved. Doctor. Not even approved. Doctor instructed. So you won't go blind with these 20 clean outs. Guarantee. Oh, wow.

That's fantastic. Well, what if Jesus is watching? Guaranteed. Oh, wow, that's fantastic. Well, what if Jesus is watching? It's approved. Because you've got a doctor's note. It's like being late for school. You've got a note from your mum and you've got a doctor's note to play with yourself. Jesus is absolutely on board.

So then 21, when it gets to 21, you go in and do they test it? You can go in and you can. And are they like, okay, there's none in there. You're good to go. You're good to go. You're good to go. But like 99.99999% of the time it's fine, right? But you do hear about people that, right.

Hell yeah. But I'm assuming when you get this done, you sign a waiver to say if there is that slight chance this doesn't work and you have a baby, no money. Yeah, no money at all. So that's the risk. Could have been rogue in Colombia, you know? baby, no money. Yeah, I would have thought so. That's the risk. Could have been rogue in Colombia, you know? You don't know.

Well, this was a lengthy legal battle at the Superior Court. How lengthy was it? Length. It doesn't say the days. It doesn't say the days. It's weird that they're mentioning the length. It's got nothing to do with it. No lengthy battle of the legal case.

Oh, I beg your pardon. Sorry, nothing to do with the penis. Unsure about that. Was it a girthy case? Can we guess? Power doubles! The lawyers do look like they've got some girthy files. Yeah.

Was the case a grower or a shower? I'd say a grower. It's a real shame when you're expecting a long, lengthy court battle and it's over in a day You know Jury's made a decision By lunch time Yeah yeah

But sometimes they settle Don't they They do This has never happened To us before But guilty guilty guilty So the court found That the doctor

That performed the surgery Is required to pay Child support For the minimum wage Until the child Who was 10 Turns 18 Oh no

So this happened A long time ago And so the parents How come they're only Going for child support now Because cost of living child who was 10 turns 18. Oh no. So this happened a long time ago. How come they're only going for child support now because the cost of living's gone up? I'm guessing they're just like, god damn, if we didn't have this kid that we didn't want, it would be a lot cheaper. So the payments will total about

just over $100,000 New Zealand dollars in total. Oh dear. That's not on. Just because the kid wanted to play too many after school sports. That's going to suck and expensive. The couple already have two kids and that's when they got the vasectomy.

They were like, two is plenty. Imagine being the one and you know that you weren't wanted. It's like when you're the youngest sibling and your older siblings are 10 years older than you. You know you're an accident. You're a mistake.

Like being the first child. You're a mistake. You're a mistake as well. Oh, no, no, no, no. First and the last. First and the last mistakes. Thank you. Oh, you're middle.

I'm middle. You're middle. You're last? Mistake, regret, mistake. I was going to say that doesn't mean they can't regret you. No, exactly. Next on the show, silly little poll.

This was a silly, silly little poll. So it's based on the fact that science looked into the perfect cup of tea. Cup of tea. Well, I'm going to hand those people that poo-pooed the vaccine might have a thought if science is touting this sort of nonsense.

How you have your tea next. What hits the teabag first? Milk or the teabag? Ridiculous. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little po, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Hard water. Hard water.

They love... Old people love talking about hard water. My parents say we have a very hard water. Because it stains the bath and stuff like that. Does it stain the glass in the shower so you've got to squeegee it? Yes. It makes your hair all coarse. Yes.

Well, today's silly little poll. So it has to do with hard water. Because some areas, and this is the thing, depending on where you live, where it gets its water from, some water harder than others. Right. There's some real good spots for water around. What is the element in water that makes it hard?

Minerals. Calcium. Lime. CLI, you know the calcium lime rust, that stuff you used to buy at the infomercial and you'd dip your shower head in it and it would clean it out. I guess it is because that's what that was to dissolve, calcium and lime. Well, today's silly little

poll is to do with how to make a cup of tea when you have hard water. Because the British scientists have said if you go hot water, milk, then put a teabag in, the proteins in the milk can help counter

the hard water. Who is doing that? Who is pouring a hot cup of water, making it milky and then putting it in the milk can help counter the hard water. Who is doing that? Who is pouring a hot cup of water, making it milky, and then putting it in the teabag? And then putting the teabag in. You've got to have hot water. It goes teabag, water, and then if you're milking, you put a dash of milk. I don't even put milk in.

Hard water or not, who cares what your water is? Teabag first. That's surely. It's insane. How long does it take to steep when it's not purely hot water? Do you know what I mean? It's a bit warmer, yeah. You've got to leave the hot water on the teabag for three minutes.

Oh, God, no. Life's too short. Are you a dipper? I like to put it in, and then I do put the milk in a little early. So I go teabag, water, a little bit of milk, and then I like to mash it. Mash it with a spoon. Yeah, because you want the flavour, don't you? You don't want a weak tea.

I don't have milk in my tea, so I'm a bit off here. But when making tea, do you put your milk in first or your milk in last? 93% milk last. 7% milk first. Resounding. Wow, 7% are monsters. What sort of 7% of the society are absolute sociopaths That are putting in their milk first from Megan Well a reminder scientists have said that this helps

With the taste With hard water Where was it last week in New Zealand was crowned the best water Oh yes Was it Waimate? Waimate I think so Yeah I think so. Yeah, I think so. And they were very proud of their

soft, soft tender water. Because where was I recently? New Plymouth. Waimati. Yeah, Waimati. New Plymouth's got manky water. Excuse me! You've got a beautiful monger there. You should have some springs. You've got this

mankyky thick syrup Why is it manky? Thick, it's thick It's thick syrup No, I grew up on that water Is that why my teeth are so fillings? Have so many fillings? Yeah, because of the manky thick water

You would have grown up on the fluoride though, right? Yeah They would have had fluoride in the water then So this was a Remember when everyone thought fluoride was mind control? Oh, take me back, take me back, take me back. This panel of National Water Taste Test competition. Go on.

Yeah, this happened in Dunedin Town Hall. And yeah, why, Maddie? Beautiful. Apparently just coming out on top. Was there like a top three? Just trying to look for a list. Oh, my God. The Otago Daily Times want me to pay.

A paywall. A paywall on the ODT. A paywall. Absolutely not. A paywall on the ODT. Absolutely not. I'll just go to another one. You keep looking.

I'll keep reading some feedback. Okay. Chris says, don't be an effing moron. If you want to drink Cricket's P-I-S-S, then brew your tea and pour in your cup with your milk first. Turns your tea into Cricket's P-I-S-S. This guy your tea and pour in your cup with your milk first. Turns your tea into crickets. P-I-S-S. This guy's easy.

The tea can't seep. Heathens drink it. Get a effing life, my friend. My goodness. Brew your tea with some guts, you weak piece of... He's very passionate about tea. Yeah, wow. Very passionate.

I've never heard that term, crickets. P-I-S-S. Neither. It depends if making a pot of tea, then it's milk first in the cup, then pour the tea onto... Yeah, but you've pre-steeped the tea there. If it's just making a cup of tea, then milk last.

Yeah, Diane, you're doing the same thing in different ways. Jessie says, what kind of monster puts milk in first with a dry teabag? No, you're confused that the milk goes in the water, then the teabag goes in. I voted milk last because for some reason

a tea bag sitting in milk seems weird, gross to me. A bit of confusion there with the order of things. And Jeremy says I'm lactose intolerant. I drink my tea black. Like a real man. Like a real man. Or a real woman or just someone that's like, oh yeah, that's alright. I don't need...

There would be tea for ladies. Men would drink black tea and women would drink half and half milk and water with a dash of pink food colouring. Oh, that's ladies' tea, isn't it? That's how gender works. That's ladies' tea, yeah. That's how it works. Yeah.

I can't find a list for... There wasn't like a top ten list of best waters. My best water in the country is Petone in Lower Hutt. Straight out of the harbour, isn't it Petone in Lower Hart. Straight out of the harbour, isn't it? Straight out of the harbour. Very salty. Didn't they find someone's leg there the other day? The other week on the beach?

Yeah, they did. There's leg in that water. Protein bra. That water on the side of the Spates Factory in Dunedin's pretty good. That's called beer, babe. No, it's... Oh, is it? Iedin's pretty good. That's called beer, babe. No, it's not. Oh, is it?

I agree. It's good. Was it kind of brown and bubbly? Yeah. Yeah, that's beer. Uh-oh. And that water up the top of the Kaimai Ranges. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a bottle of the magic water. Until a sheep dies upstream and we're drinking straight-ass rotten animal. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, a man has obtained a Guinness World Record, something you, Hayley, would love to do just in anything. I just, I feel like there are some that people haven't even tried. I just need to get weird enough. I think if you had the money and you didn't have a job,

you could easily do this. I don't have either of those things. Yeah, but what if you have a job and still don't have a job, you could easily do this. I don't have either of those things. Yeah, but what if you have a job and still don't have any money? That seems the wrong way around. You ruled me out. I don't know if you'd have the time to do this. I mean, you may be able to do it in a big city, but a man has the Guinness World Record

for the most music concerts attended in one year. Oh, fun. How many do you think he did in 2022? Oh, 120? Mind you, so there's 365 days, but concerts, oh, no, because if you live in Auckland or, like, if we're getting tagged on somewhere, we'll get a Tuesday. We might get a Monday or a Tuesday night concert

because your Florence Machine, Florence and the Machine, was a Tuesday night, right? God was it. God was it. Have you only just recovered from that, eh? I think there's still a bit of dust left behind. I can feel it. Where does this guy live?

So America. So he was on the Guinness World Records website like a year or two ago and he saw the record for the most concerts in a year and that at the time sat at 56 so at least one a week yeah and he was like that's not many 56 does it include things like you know like excuse me like small stand-up gigs or like does it have to all be like big so I think it just has to be a concert by the looks of it um you could go like if you were out on a Friday and there was a band at the pub you'd be like tick yeah okay and he had a because a lot of people have said, like, what qualifies for a concert? Yeah.

And, yeah, people are just, it's just a live music event. And then I guess if you're going to do it for Guinness, you've got to, I guess, document it. Maybe film yourself. Yeah, you would have to because that's the thing they demand proof. So he smashed that world record. He's got 86. He did 86.

86 in one year. So that equated to a gig about every four and a bit days. 4.2 days. Hey, speaking of because this is a good reminder, has anyone got their alarm set for 11am today? For the tickets on sale? For what?

Come on, you know what I'm talking about. No idea. And I haven't been invited either. Slipknot. Oh, slip. I might um. Producer Jarrod. Slipknot. Oh, Slipknot. I might. Producer Jared. Are you taking Producer Jared to this? He's 100% Jared and I are going.

He's very excited by the looks on his face. Yeah, we're going. It's in October, so tickets go on sale today. But I don't want to get the word out there too much because I don't want to miss out for our listeners. And good morning to our Slipknot listeners. I don't think we've got a single Slipknot listener. Yes, we do. And then it's in October, but it is on a Thursday.

Oh, no. And you remember what happened last time I took Jared to a concert. Yeah, you're going to be a bit dusty on the Friday. I lost him in the mosh pit and then I went home before Papa Roach even took to the stage. Slipknot lost me when Joey, the drummer, the guy with the mask on, died. Yeah, I know, but they've got a new drummer. I had to Google.

I had to Google literally all of that. It was good, though. I was right in there with you. I can't imagine you... Okay, wow, wow. It's going to be great. Everyone set your alarm. 11 o'clock today. Slipknot tickets. Go on same. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley.

Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello! Tech, uh, age something tech. Instagram down again. Hundreds of thousands of users report issues with feed.

The Verge wrote. Instagram was down, but now it's working again. Variety wrote. Instagram back up after outage. Thousands of users report issues with social media. Absolutely. The New Zealand Herald. So it was a worldwide outage.

Oh, my God. Of the gram. And just think, like, just down for an hour worldwide, how much money that would have cost them. Yeah. True. So much. Do we know what happened?

No, I can't see. They haven't really said what happened. Someone knocked a plug out. Yeah, probably just unplugged something. Or were they driving through a rough patch of road, you know? Or the actual Instagram account clicked on one of those Ray-Bans links. Oh, but they're cheap though. Those Ray-Bans are cheap.

They're so cheap. That is such a good deal. Yeah. I love that the top six things we had to do when Instagram was down. I mean, bonus number seven is some of us didn't notice

because some of us were not glued to our phones. That's right. Because you were glued to your iPad watching TV. Correct. Number six on the list of the top six things we had to do when Instagram was down. Actually concentrate on lunch.

Oh, okay, yeah. It's too easy to eat while scrolling the gram and then you forget you ate. Yeah. It's like my mom always said, you've got to sit down to eat. Yeah. You've got to go slowly because otherwise your digestive system's like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then you get the hiccups.

Well, yesterday people actually had to concentrate on their lunch. Number five on the list of the top six things we had to do when Instagram was down. We had to remember what an actual person looks like, not just a selection of the world's hottest people. Sharing the world's hottest photos. That doesn't apply to me because both those people

live in my household. Right. Of course. You just have to walk past the mirror. A mirror. Yeah. Or Aaron.

Yeah. What are you saying that for? Can he hear you? Is he on the other side of that screen? Sorry, are you... Broadcast from home. I'm sorry, did you laugh

when I suggested that Aaron is the second hottest person in the world? You're just really like sucking up. Yeah, the deal's done. You don't need to. Stay sleeping, my darling. Number four on the list of the top six things we had to do when Instagram was down.

See what was happening over on Twitter. Oh, yeah. I went on Twitter the other day for the first time just to see if anyone had seen anything about me. Had they? Not really. Right. I know. Why, did you do a name search or something? No, you just go, has anyone mentioned me? Right. Right.

Like Jason Momoa. Oh yeah, one person tagged me in Jason Momoa. Jason himself didn't tag me. Right. And then someone said, is HYBPA New Zealand coming back? What are we telling them? It's not. That

laughs so I don't get too worried about my lack of income. I'm just looking to see if Hayley Sproul's been mentioned any other time. So apparently Twitter are really, Instagram are really close to launching a Twitter rip-off.

They reckon like June, July. We don't need it. Yeah, I feel like we're done with Twitter. Or are we not? You won't be done with Twitter after you see what Black Suede Shoes said about you on May 17. Hayley Sproul, you're funny, naturally funny. I'm fascinated.

I love that you're bold. I see your personality is love that you're bold. I see your personality is so likeable. Wow. Someone's reactivating their Twitter account. Yeah, she's signing up as we speak. Somebody's back, baby. It's such a filthy place.

It's so, Twitter is just a safe spot. I can't just because no one said anything nice about you. No, I just mean it's just full of just a lot of shit. You've got to curate Twitter. You've got to really curate Twitter because there is a lot of just, yuck. Okay, where was I at? Number three on the list

of the top six things we had to do when Instagram was down. Restart our phones because maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just the app. Maybe I just need to restart my phone. It won't work, it won't work, it won't work, it won't work,

it won't work. I'm going to restart my phone. Restart the phone, it won't work, it won't work, it won't work, it won't work. I'm going to restart my phone. Restart the phone, won't work. How many people do you reckon restarted their phone because they thought it was a them thing? Heaps. And as you say, airplane mode, un-airplane mode. Yeah.

To try to get it to reconnect to the servers, but no, it wasn't. Number two on the list of the top six things you had to do when Instagram was down yesterday, just go and find some ads somewhere else. You know, you can't get enough of those ads. You've got go and find some ads somewhere else. You know, you can't get enough of those ads. You gotta go find some ads somewhere else. And number one on the list of the top six things we had to do

when Instagram was down yesterday, maybe just go for a little walk. Maybe just get up. Go for a little walk. What's that, sorry? Is there benefit in that? I haven't heard any benefit whatsoever. It's the jury's out on that.

That is today's Subsex. Now, we're about to tiptoe through a minefield, so if everybody could just be very wary of their footwork. Okay. All right. Because there's been a study. Can you and Hayley go first, and I'll just go in your footsteps? No, yeah, Vaughn,

you lead and I'll follow. Because I've always thought if we were in the army and there was like a land minefield, I'd just go last and go in everyone else's footsteps. Go ye.

Pretty smart. Speaking of whose life has more value, someone asked me, they were asking me how radio was going and they said, oh, you know,

do you guys get on? And I was like, yeah, we get on like a house on fire. And then they asked me if you had to kill either Fletch or Vaughn, who would you know, do you guys get on? And I was like, yeah, we get on like a house on fire. And then they asked me if you had to kill either Fletch or Vaughan, who would you kill?

Oh my God. Fletch, he's got nothing to live for. What? I've got a family. I've got a cat. You just literally said your pension has gone up

$80 a year and you were reconsidering and sending him home. You were going to give him the jab. It's going to put him down because it's $80 more a month. A year.

I'm sorry, Fletch, I did A year. I'm sorry, Fletch. I did kill you. I killed you, Fletch, because you don't have kids. You've got nothing to live for. You've got mints in the fridge. But he's got kids. They can live on in his legacy. Yeah.

Oh, this is true now. Yeah, yeah. This is so Kilvorn. You've got no legacy. Yeah. Their legacy will be a monstrous mortgage they can no longer afford to pay, and they'll be forced into homelessness. Well, they can come live with you.

They can come live with you. Absolutely not. Okay, kill me. Kill me. I'm back to killing you. Sorry, Fletch. All right. Well, that's lighthearted.

Minefield, though, we're walking in. Okay. And we don't have any of those rats that can smell mines. Okay, so tiptoe through the minefield of talking about weight. Yes. Oh, my connection's gone bad. It might just sort of pop out. Okay. Fair enough. There's been a study

of 15,000 British obese people from all different walks of life, including age, and they said the biggest sort of difference they found was in age and how people who are struggling with obesity placed the blame. Older people blamed themselves entirely.

Oh, really? Yeah. I did this. They were like, there is no one to blame but me and what I keep putting in my mouth hole. Yeah. So they were far more likely to say, look, I've got a bit of a problem. I love treats. Yeah.

But also, I'm old now, so I'm going to keep eating the treats. Yeah. But I'm to blame. But the younger the people got, the more likely they were to blame their environment. And at the younger end of the spectrum, people said it's actually society's fault for making food so easy to get. God, that's got Gen Z written all over it, doesn't it?

And Uber Eats. Uber Eats. Yeah, food delivered to your door. I literally don't even have to hunt and gather anymore. I can just blob. I can just gather. I can just gather. I can just gather from the door. It's so easy.

Yeah. So that was the main difference in this study. Do you think there would be, weight aside, that would be the same for most things? Yeah, probably. I would say ownership is not young people's forte. No, because I've never been good at it. But I also think that's not specific to this generation.

No. That's just not having, like, just loving palming it off. Yeah. Because you don't want the responsibility, and then you get to a certain age where it's undeniably time for you to take on some self-responsibility. And then you start hating yourself. Yeah.

Oh, dear. And then you start hating yourself. Yeah. Oh, dear. And then you start hating everybody else. And it's a vicious cycle of getting old. Yeah. But that was the main findings from this obesity study. I blame the alcohol industry for my 16-kg weight gain. It's because of all the wine they keep making. It's delicious.

Well, they just keep making it so delicious. Yeah, yeah. I blame the wine regions of the world. You know, I just blame yum. Things being yum. Yeah, I know. And they keep making, like, more yum things. Like, they've made yum things yum.

Yeah. Like Brussels sprouts, for example. Last night I cooked Brussels sprouts. Yum. And, like, my daughters were in on it. And that's the first time they've universally loved Brussels sprouts. Did did you char and balsamic vinegar no what did you do i butter and honey butter oh my jesus see we're making things that traditionally you were like yuck yum yeah i think that that would from being it only cost me 1,000 calories. Yeah. But yum.

I mean, it only gained me 1,000 calories. And there were calories. There was a big shift in the calories I said I had with the Brussels sprouts. Dude, they were delicious. Were they like swimming in butter? Okay, I'll walk you through my process because you might want to copy this. Okay. Fry pan, get that to like pretty hot and put in some butter.

So butter's going to be your lubricant. Did you burn the butter? Did you brown the butter? Melted the butter and then just before the Brussels sprouts went in turned it up because I wanted it all to be liquid before it started to get heat. So then the heat hit and then the Brussels sprouts went in and just constantly sort of moving them.

Bit of a salt. Then when they were all like starting to look brown, big glob of honey. Mix that all around. Jesus Christ. Take them out, put them on a baking tray, put them on the top rack, and just give them a little grill.

Little char. Little char on the grill. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And might I say, a little bit more. Like even August liked it, and she has...

She doesn't like Brussels sprouts. She hates Brussels sprouts. Because I do mine with bacon. If you do like... Yeah, man. If I'd had bacon, it would have been in there. Do you wrap the bacon? No, you just chop it up into tiny bits.

That's how I do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chop it up. Pine nuts? Have you ever put pine nuts in there as well? Yeah. Those are like $1,000 a bag. You know what?

What? I've got some pine nut seeds at the weekend. I've planted them. When they germinate, I'm going to be the pine nut guy. How long's that going to take? Oh my God. We'll probably be dead. We'll probably be dead, but those children that you're going to inherit when Hayley kills me,

they'll be absolutely loaded with pine nuts. Absolutely not. Clay, Zed Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We are talking about life skills now because apparently employees and recruitment places are finding that people applying for jobs lack certain life skills now because apparently employees and recruitment places are finding that people applying for jobs lack certain life skills they're done like like what what do they think is a life skill conversation maybe just initiative is it a life skill initiative is like sadly lacking

in a lot of people yeah uh technical skills they were just applying it sounds like a lot of people. Yeah. Technical skills. They were just applying. It sounds like a lot of people are just applying and believe they're capable of doing jobs they're simply not able to do. Oh, dear. But it could come down to things like tying a knot. That's one of the simple things that a lot of people are just like, I mean, I could try. I don't know how.

Let you know how to do your laces, right? Yeah. No, but do they mean scouty knots? I just like and say yeah and then just do three knots in a row. Well that's how I ended up

getting so injured on a horse in Lord of the Rings was because that's been that's been on my actor's profile for a long time along with a lot of accents

I don't know how to do either. You said you could ride a horse. Yeah and then I I turned up it was for The Hobbit and then they said I was going to say

you would have been so young when they did The Lord of the Rings. Nah nah Hob. It was for The Hobbit, and then they said, can you ride a horse on a pennant? I was going to say, you would have been so young when they did The Lord of the Rings. Nah, nah, Hobbit. Oh, so The Hobbit. So you fell off a horse and hurt yourself? Lots of accidents. No, no, I didn't. I didn't even get on the horse.

I chickened out and didn't back myself. But that's a life skill I don't have. Riding a horse. I don't know if that's like a lifeline. I mean, maybe in the 1800s that was a life skill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also said I can do a very good southern accent. Again, that's not a life skill.

That's more of an acting skill. It requires a little bit of work. Bear Grylls even weighed in. Oh, yeah. He said people are under more pressure than ever to have the right skills and experience to help them succeed while protecting their mental health and well-being. Yeah. So, yeah, if things stress people out, like learning life skills stresses people out,

they just avoid it because they're like, well, I don't want to be stressed. Fair enough. So I'm going to avoid the stress of learning to do something. Even though that's what learning something is doing, right? Yeah. You stress out as you're learning to do it, and then you do it more,

and then it becomes a far less stressful task, but you've got to face a little bit of stress on the way there. Yeah. You stress out as you're learning to do it and then you do it more and then it becomes a far less stressful task but you've got to face a little bit of stress on the way there. Yes. Socrates. Wow. Vaughn Socrates Smith. Vaughn, yep. Over here. We want to take this opportunity this morning for you to rag on your

workmates. Because that's fun. It is fun. We do it for a job. Don't we're in bed by 8 o'clock minutes in the fridge. Rude. Why don't we pick on Shannon? She doesn't even know how to ride a bicycle. Who doesn't know how to ride a bicycle? Shannon.

Yeah. Shannon. It's a bit embarrassing. That's a life skill. I would have thought your family would have been quite the prolific cyclists. Your mother has wonderful legs. Well, the reason I didn't is because I grew up on a prolific cyclist. Your mother has wonderful ears. Well, the reason I didn't is because I grew up on a golf course, so our house was on the course. And if I put a bike on the turf, it wouldn't have... They grew up on a golf course.

I don't think it's true. Golf courses are third world places. No, if I took a bike out on the turf, oh, my goodness, I would have been raped. Wait, so there was no concrete or a road? This was a roadless golf course? No, so there's like a 100K road into the, so it was either a 100K road or a golf course.

And no footpaths. No, no. Do we need to teach Shannon how to ride a bike? It's so easy. Well, what happened was is we went on a work trip and I had to sign this waiver thing before, like a camp form saying I can swim a kilometre. And it said I can ride a bike.

I'm sorry, what? You can swim a kilometre, but you can't ride a bike. I'm sorry, what? You can swim a kilometre but you can't ride a bike. Well, I ticked that I could ride a bike because I thought it was instinctual because there's that saying, it's like riding a bike. Yeah, but you have to learn it. Let me break down the saying. It's like riding a bike, you never forget.

Now, to never forget, you must know. Well, I didn't realise that. I thought I would just know. So then I said I could and they signed us up for a six kilometre e-bike tour. And then I admitted once we got there

that I'd never been on an e-bike or a bike tour. Did they find you one with little training wheels? No. It's all on camera. I rammed into a glass building and I cut off Tony Street

and nearly killed her. Oh, you nearly, she would never forget. You nearly killed a national treasure. Oh, wow. And then, yeah, I just kept pulling off. Which would even up the feels because she's killed a few people. Yeah, she nearly killed a national treasure. And then, yeah. Which would even up the feels because she's killed a few people.

Yeah, she's evil. She's evil. Yeah, she's killed a few people that crossed her. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I can't ride a bike. I just keep falling off. Okay, that's a life skill. Yeah, but in the workplace, how often are they like, I mean,

case in point, they did literally at your workplace ask you to ride a bike. Okay, so, yeah, what is something that your workmate can't do, someone at your work, lacks a basic life skill, and maybe it's been noted in the course of work? Yeah. Yeah. Like you guys giving compliments. I've really had to train that into you.

That's a life skill that you didn't naturally have. You are so good at it, though. Thank you. Teaching us to give you compliments. Thank you, Vaugh have. You are so good at it though. Thank you. Teaching us to give you compliments. Thank you Vaughn. You are our queen. And something nice about my face? It's on your head where it should be. Yeah it's got skin on it. Yes okay. That's one of my favorite things about her face. It's got skin on it. It would be terrifying if it didn't. She would look like Robbie Williams from the Rock DJ music video.

We want to know what life skills your workmates are sadly lacking. Apparently recruitment places finding more than ever people applying for jobs don't have a range of life skills. When I first left high school and I was trying to look for a job and they say, you don't have enough work experience. And I was like, how do I get work experience if you won't give me work? Yeah. I was like, what? You've got to start somewhere, don't you don't have enough work experience and i was like how do i get work experience if you won't give me work yeah it was like i was like what you got to start somewhere don't you yeah yeah like you can imagine experience for some jobs that need experience like doctors yeah like doctors exactly but like if you're going into a retail store like which i was yeah like that that's on the job training yeah just You do it on the job, don't you?

That's right. Well, lots of calls coming in. Sam, what life skills did a workmate lack? Hey, guys. So my colleague, she was the office manager, and we were getting some kind of complaints that our mail wasn't getting there, and so we kind of said, hey, Bella, what's going on? She was like, oh, I've seen everything.

We're like, okay, cool, we'll figure it out. And then, you know, we got a bunch of return to sender because it had no stamps on it. So we were like, oh, you know, what's going on? She's like, what's a stamp? She didn't know about stamps. You said she was office manager

and she didn't know what stamps were. No, she did not know what a stamp was. She was very young, very stupid, didn't know what a stamp was. She was very young. Very stupid. Didn't know what a stamp was. I guess she'd never... Well, I mean, I haven't seen... It's weird because now you buy postage-paid envelopes. Yes.

Or you just courier everything, right? Yeah. Prepaid. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't have used a stamp in the last, like... I'm just trying to... Corporate offices do. They're so expensive.

Stamps are so expensive now. How much is a stamp? Well, to send, like, a standard card, I think it's gone... We looked at the books and they were like a hundred and something dollars for like a big book of stamps. It's quite expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's how many stamps you've got to chuck on those bloody... I think it's like a dollar... Was it up to a dollar forty to post a standard letter? Did it blow her mind when she learnt about stamps? Yeah, we had to tell her to put it in the right-hand corner and it was a journey. I feel sorry for her

because I bet that was self-adhesive and she never had to lick them. Yeah. Or they had those little rolly, that little wet rolly log. Oh, yeah, and you roll it across. Oh, bless her. I could have been mean

and made her lick them, but I... Made her lick a stamp. Sam, thank you. Some messages and loads of messages. I had to teach the young guys at my work how to sweep a floor with a broom. They had no idea whatsoever. I don't think they'd ever seen or worked a broom before.

Were they never made to do chores by their parents? Yeah. I just can't imagine... I didn't sweep as a kid. But you knew what a broom, surely you did. I know how a broom works, yeah. But it's one of those things that you would hold it and you would be like, I know, I can kind of work out how to do this.

Yeah, it's quite, that's quite sort of caveman-y, how to use a broom. Yeah. I've had brooms for a long time. Yeah, it's like your kids pick up a toy telephone and hold it to their ear, like instinctively. They know what that is. If it's on a cord and it looks like an old phone,

they just go instinctively. No, they don't hold it to their ear anymore. That's this. Tick, tick, tick, tick. They hold it down there. To help their hands out. Yeah. Someone said, I can't believe the amount of people lately hiring,

trying to find someone to fill this position that cannot drive a manual car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you don't, most cars aren't anymore, are they? And zero interest in learning how to do it. When it comes up in the job interview process, they're like, oh, well, no, thank you. No, thank you for your job.

I don't want to have to drive a manual. And I'm guessing some like bigger, like trucks, mini trucks would be manuals now, would they? Well, the newer ones probably automatic as much as anything. We were driving those massive trucks and they were automatics, weren't they? Yeah. One of them was a manual, but you didn't have to go one, two, three, four. Maybe it was just in four.

Anita, what did you find a co-worker lacking with life skills? So we had a young university student doing an internship with us over summer. Yeah. And we got sent an item that was expired from a supplier. Yeah. So I said to her, oh, you know, let's get in touch with them and make sure they send us the correct item and replace this. So can you just give them a call to sort that out?

And she replied with, call? Ooh. She's got a good point, though. Making calls is awful, though. Yeah. So she didn't want to telephone at all? No, wouldn't pick up the phone, didn't want to talk to anyone over the phone. I did suggest perhaps emailing instead

if that was going to be such a problem. I just love that the response was ooh. I don't want to talk to people. That is amazing. Okay, Anita, thanks. You call some more messages. My 23-year-old nephew tried to hang

a towel on the line by pulling the towel, the wet towel, out of the laundry basket, attaching the pegs, then putting it on the line and trying to put the pegs on. Oh, no, no. What are you doing that for? Has he never, ever seen someone hang a towel? Well, he's probably seen a towel hanging and he's like, the order of things, of course, is to pre-peg. You don't pre-peg. You don't pre-peg. You don't pre-peg.

No. You post-peg. He also can't open an envelope, freaks about the whole thing. And the first time I saw him pick up a cat, my mind was blown. How do you not pick up a cat? I wonder if you pick it up under the arms and hold it like Rafiki holding up Simba for the entire Pride Lands to drink in their new king. Lately, a couple of people from recruitment places,

part-time fill-ins at the office, and when the photocopy runs out of paper, they just stand there waiting for it to magically refill itself. Not how it works. Yeah, no. I saw a few messages of people not knowing how to sew on a button. You just go through the holes. Hey.

You go through the holes. And then you go, whoop, whoop, whoop. Sometimes they loop around. Yeah, yeah, you loop around the bottom. Because if you just go through the holes and you go hard against, it's very hard to get. You've got to give yourself a little bit of wiggle room. A little wiggle wiggle.

But, yeah, I wouldn't do that well, but I'd give it my God's honest best. I'd pretty much tube it. If I wanted to do a good job, otherwise I'd just give it a go. I had to show my 26-year-old co-worker how to empty the vacuum cleaner. He's like, I think this is broken.

The suction's terrible. But it was just that the bag was full. Oh my God. It's not just young people. My 40-year-old manager at a supermarket bought tinfoil in the microwave and set fire to the kitchen. Oh, my God. It's not just young people. My 40-year-old manager at a supermarket bought tinfoil in the microwave and set fire to the kitchen. Oh, no.

Everyone knows you don't tinfoil a microwave. You don't tinfoil. Those new microwaves you can. Yeah, I was going to say. It's yours. Oh. You can put metal in. Well, even a big spoon.

Yeah. You could put a big metal bowl in there. That's wild. Yeah, it's really pretty flash. As it came out the other day and an old gentleman asked the girl at the door where the drinking glasses were. She told him we only had reading glasses. And I was like.

I've got a pair of drinking glasses. That's what you put on when you're drinking and everything just looks a bit better. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, just quickly, Hayley, before, I know you want to tell us about going to bed angry. I'm geared up. I'm geared up.

What? Oh, you're geared up. I thought you said geared up. Yeah, I thought I'd get up. I get up. I get up. I'm like, you're up. I was like, you're on.

I thought you were yelling at Aaron because you wanted something done. Get up. Get up. No, I'm not yelling at Aaron. I've got exciting news. Live Nation and ZM present my Girl of My Dreams tour, Fletcher. I'm finally bringing my show to Auckland. I think you had your Girl of Your Dreams, Gentle and Margaret.

No. 29th of November, 2023, Auckland Town Hall. Tickets are on sale May 25, livenation.co.nz. For Fletcher, not me. Different Fletcher. She's Fletcher, you're Fletch. Yeah, sure. Just based on what you said there, Vaughan,

can we get an update on Margaret? Is that totally over? It's over, yeah, it's over. It's not over till it's over. Yeah, because it was never happening. It's not over till it's over. Wow. It's not over till the fat lady sings.

If you want to win... We'll call lady sings. If you want to win... We'll call Margaret fat. If you want to win tickets to see Fletcher, ZM's Facebook, and comment to win a double pass. All the details. Margaret did have a beautiful singing voice, though. ZM, Margaret did not exist. Now, is this a therapist?

Yes, it is. Actually, that's what could have saved you and Margaret, to be fair, is just some time in a couple's therapist's office just getting down to the nitty gritties. Right. But maybe you needed to try this because, you know, there's always the rhetoric of, like, you shouldn't go to bed angry. You've got to, like, resolve it before the next day.

Yeah. They're like, don't do that. You're just going to be tired and you're going to be exhausted. You're going to start looping around trying to resolve this argument now it's midnight and apparently the longer an argument happens the more likely it is to sort of stay in our memory you know like you don't remember every fight you ever had with your partner but you remember the big ones where you're like just save that little detail for later yeah Yeah, catalogue that. Catalogue that. Well, she's suggesting that sometimes going to bed is the best thing to do as a couple. However, she suggests something that you can do to sort of let each other know that it's not all over.

It's called the touching toes. Okay. So you can go to bed angry. You can't sleep in separate beds though. You've got to go to bed angry and then you go back to back because of course you don't want to look at each other and you just push your toes up against each other. Turn the foot heel to heel.

Heel to heel, toe to toe. Yeah. Just to let each other know that I still love you even though you are so wrong and I'm going to resume telling you why in the morning but and because I've gone to bed angry at you I'm going to dream you've done something even worse and tomorrow um my imagination is going to be added to this logical argument I've been putting forward and you're in real trouble mister that's right but won't some people have

trouble going to sleep because it'll just be going over and over in their mind yeah but i that i think some arguments that her argument is that just plowing through it and keeping on going if it's not finding its end is going to make it so much worse right fuming but the touching of the toes which is sort of silly and vulnerable is supposed to help you kind of get over that like right that seething my only issue've got, like, one of my toes is, like, quite hard. Is it gammy? Yeah, it's gammy. It's a little toe, and it's got, like, a hard sort of callus on it. You've got a hook now.

And you've got a couple of hook nails, too. Oh, man, do I what? So you're kind of, like, pressing your gammy toe into Aaron. You're cutting him with my long. Yeah, right. Yeah, I don't know. The old touching toes. Well...

Rough heels rubbing together. Give it a try. Next on... We don't argue. We don't argue. Next on the show, you're perfect, perfect. Yeah, yeah.

Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's Extreme Homepage Makeover. I'm excited for this. This is something we're very passionate about. And have been for quite some time. I think, well, we're talking about people

that had unread notification bubbles on their... That's a huge issue. Oh, I hate that. That's a huge issue. But another massive issue is what apps people choose to have on the front page of their phone. I've never thought about it. I haven't thought about this for so long.

You know, because like ages ago, I put mine in color order. Oh my God. Really? That's how we got onto it. I said that I was thinking of deleting. We were recording a podcast and I said I was thinking of deleting, we were recording a podcast, and I said I was thinking of deleting an app off my front page, but I don't know what app would take its place.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then we started talking about what apps are up the front, and then I showed. Your front page are your most used, right? No. Those are the ones you go to all the time. Yes. No.

Yeah. Yes. My banking app is on my last page. No, move it. And my Instagram's on my third one because it was all colour coded, but now it's all out of order because I couldn't keep up with it.

Well, you've got some downtime during the records of the Great Kiwi Cookie Comp, so why don't you take some time? You and Pax Asadi can sit down and reorder your apps. On the set of the Great Kiwi Cookie Comp. Because I reckon Pax's phone would be a shambles. I'm going to look at it when I get on set today. Yeah, yeah, have a look at his front page.

I think the apps. So we asked you to screenshot and send to us on Instagram the homepage of your phone. And then we will give you an extreme homepage makeover. Yep. And just basically roast you. Tell you. Some of these are disgusting.

Dude, let's start with Greer. Okay. Greer, you chose this. Greer asked for this. And you. Tell you. Some of these are disgusting. Dude, let's start with Greer. Okay. Greer, you chose this. Greer asked for this. And you chose these apps. Number one app. Top left-hand corner. No, wait, wait, wait.

You wouldn't say that just because an app is top left number one, that's not the number one. Hang on. Also, she has lied. If you look down, you are able to scroll to the left. No, but she's got one of those pages on the left that's not apps. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm sorry, Greer, I called you a liar.

Because I've seen someone like this too, and whenever they unlock it, it's automatically on the second dot. She's got the same security camera as I have and 23 notifications. Her house is being broken into. She's not doing anything about it. All of her stuff's gone

and she hasn't even bothered to check the notifications on the Eufy security. Also, she's got folders on her homepage. A lot of folders. I want to talk about the top left-hand app, which should be your most opened app.

No, incorrect. The four you've got in the bottom column. No, the most are on the right-hand side in the bottom because that's where your thumb is. No. No, your thumb's on the left-hand side in the bottom because that's where your thumb is. No. No, your thumb's on the left-hand side. Top left-hand side should always be Google Chrome.

Oh, sorry, I'm left-handed. You're left-handed. It should be a browser. It should be Google Chrome. Top left-hand side. I'll go on record. She has Translate. She has the Translate app.

Also not the best Translate app. The best Translate app is Google Translate. Google Translate. Because you literally can just hear your voice and translate it for you. That's great when you're in a cab overseas, by the best translate app. The best translate app is Google Translate. Google Translate. Because you can literally just hear your voice and translate it for you. That's great when you're in a cab overseas, by the way. Maybe Greer's boyfriend is a papi, you know? Maybe he's a speaker. If that is the case, I take back everything I've said.

Greer, God bless you. For just seeing a guy that was hot and being like, I can work with apps. What do you want for dinner tonight? And then you just copy and paste and send it to him. Yeah. You don't even need to speak Spanish. And he's like, fajita. What do you want for dinner tonight? And then you just copy and paste and send it to him. You don't even need to speak Spanish. And he's like, sizzling fajita platter. Every night.

I just want you for dinner, Greer. Are you on a sizzling hot plate? Yeah, you are my sizzling fajita. She's got translate. She's got contact. She's got a utilities folder on the front page. Yeah, which is a junk folder of apps you never used to be able to delete off an iPhone and you always kept them in the second page

because you had to, but now you can delete them and I recommend deleting it. You do not need the stocks app. How are we more upset about this than the next folder, which is called folder and it just has podcasts in it?

Sort out your life, Greer. This front page is our shambles. Next is a Spark app, which is fine, but it hasn't been used for so long that it's got the symbol beside it that says to use it, it needs to be downloaded from the cloud. Oprah Winfrey said, if you don't wear the clothes in three months, you throw them out. If the app hasn't been used to the point where it's been backed up onto the cloud

and you have to download it to use it. It definitely shouldn't be front page. 100%. Don't get too upset about that because you're going to work your way down it and you're going to be raging. Okay, so then Facebook, Instagram, Messenger, Snapchat, TikTok, no problem. Yep.

She does have Gmail on there, but I also can't see another mail server on there, so she's okay by me. And no bubbles, no bubbles. No bubbles. She's clearing that. Good, good, good. She's got a bank. She's got YouTube. She's okay by me. And no bubbles, no bubbles. No bubbles. She's clearing that. Good, good, good. She's got a bank.

She's got YouTube. She's got Google Maps. Fine, fine, fine. All great homepage apps. Then she's got Manage My Hair. Is that Manage My Health? Yeah. That's fine.

Then we've got a folder that's just got a money bag below it. Oh, that's got your after pay. After pay. Yep. Get rid of that because that's a temptation a money bag below it. Oh, that's got your after payout. Yep. Get rid of that because that's a temptation. That's a second page. That's a second page. We've got to talk about the next two.

So the next two, she downloads those games that you're always advertised when you're playing a game. You know the one with the guy who looks like a butler and he's got a moustache and he's always pulling the wrong key out and dropping lava on gold. Yes. Or he's trying to fix a shower, but it's like, what would you use next? And it gives you a spanner or electricity and he puts electricity into a broken shower

and then he dies in the end. She's downloaded that game, but it hasn't been used for so long it's back on the cloud. What's it doing on the homepage? And then there's another app beside it that also is on the cloud that's a dumb game. Delete, delete.

Next, she's got payroll. That needs to be dragged and put into the money bag folder because that's just taking up space. And the homepage. Specifically is money. Then, yum, yum. Arguably, she should put her banking app in that money one too. Agreed. Yeah, she should.

Agreed. Great point. We're cleaning up this place. This is a great makeover. We're cleaning up the places. Then, yum, yum, which is just food apps, which I'm fine with. You've got to have your priorities. You've got to eat.

Hey, shout out, though. Show sponsored McDonald's is number one in there. Yeah, McDonald's is right in there. Next is adulting. Just charge your vibrators and stuff. Yeah. What? It's got a power.

They just give you notifications when your Satisfyer Pro is running out of juice. Oh, for that sort of adulting. Then I believe there's just for paying bills, like the power company and stuff. Yeah, a lot of this can be page two, page three stuff. Adobe fill and sign. You don't need that every day. That's for a fun app. Move that away.

Yeah. And Taluna that I had to Google, and that's something where you fill out surveys and you earn points and money and stuff. All right. Who is Greer? Greer is a shambles. Who is she? Greer, take everything

we've just told you on board and move on with your life. I want to share Greer's screen cap on our socials and you can also weigh in so then she can go through and read exactly where she's gone wrong in life.

Yeah. I had fun. Right. That was it. Did you have fun just roasting someone's... Move that bus! Did you have fun roasting someone someone's... Move that bus!

Did you have fun roasting someone's homepage? It's a shambles. It is an absolute shambles. Sort it out. Disgusting. Will we update next week? Will we do this? When Greer rearranges and takes it all on board, we'll put an updated photo of Greer's stuff on our social

so people can see if she's moved in the right direction. Oh, it's a real journey piece. Where are they now? Yeah, totally. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. If you were just joining us, I am beaming in from an Airbnb out west, which is quite close to the set of The Great Kimmy Bake Off, which starts filming today, season five.

Has it been five seasons? Do you get to lick the beaters? Oh, yeah. Yum. No, you don't get to lick the betas? Oh, yeah. Yum. No, you don't get to lick the betas. It's a real health and safety issue. No, you take them out. You pop them out.

You press the eject button and it pops out and out of your hand and then you stand over the sink because your mum's like, don't drip that everywhere. Mum's like, you've been a good boy. You can lick the beta. Lick the bowl. No, they've got cleaners that like sweep in. The cleaners lick them.

The cleaners take them out back and lick them. The cleaners take them out back and lick them. Of course they would. I mean, I know there's raw egg and that's a health and safety thing, but come on. Get real. Quit being a baby. Oh, my God.

Since when was that a health and safety thing too? Remember we used to make cookies and then just eat the whole dough and have like four cookies left to bake? Yep. Anyway, yesterday I was on sex. We had our had our publicity day you know photo shoots and whatnot that's why i'm sort of looking so cute yeah tight the brows got done you know um and then this is classic me and i said this is the one thing that makes me anxious about returning to a set you've been on before. Season five, a lot of the crew and production team are the same.

I think I count, I clocked up ten times that I introduced myself to people I've worked with at least two years in a row. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do the Vaughan Smith trick of never saying, never ever saying nice to meet you or asking for a name. You say great to

see you. Yeah, great to see you. Great to see you. But I know people sniff that out, I reckon. Now you call them boss or champ or chief. And you're absolutely out the gate running. No, that is so obvious. And then I always have a moment where I'll like connect eyes and go like, I want them to be like, hey, Hayley, how are you?

But then, of course, that's easy because I'm the star of the show, so of course they know who I am I actually think the beaters are the star of the show now that I think about it. When you think about it the cakes are the star of the show Well that is true Silly little girl, what would you rather lick on the set of The Great Kiwi Bake Off, Hayley Sproul

or the beaters? Don't put that out Because those people message me Vaughan and I don't want tooul or the Beatles? Don't put that out. Because those people message me, Vaughan, and I don't want to. I thought you were like, don't put that out because you didn't want to lose to Beatles. You're going to lose to Beatles. I would happily lose who wants to be licked more, the Beatles or Hayley. Anyway, it's just such, I mean, Alzheimer's is coming for me. It's a boss and it's a boss and it's a chief. It's too late now, we've already and it's a chief. Or you go,

get out, mate, and then you walk four more steps and you say to someone, what's that guy saying again? This is why you need, like, you do this with a partner, right?

You're like, if you're at a party or something or an event, you're like, I know that person. Have I met them before? Introduce yourself. You get your friend

or your partner to go and introduce yourself. And then you just listen for the name. What if they'll meet them too? Oh, yeah, but then it's on them. Real throw-under-the-bus situation. Then it's on them. Yeah, you just gotta find someone. And then you just listen for the name. But what if they'll get them too? Oh, yeah, but then it's on them. Real throw under the bus situation. Then it's on them.

Yeah, you've just got to find someone. And then the moment they say like, oh, hey, if Aaron does it for me, he'll be like, hey, Fletch. Oh, hey, I'm Aaron. And you'll go, oh, hey, I'm Fletch. And I'll be like, oh, Fletch? You don't know Fletch?

Oh, Fletch and I go way back. You just throw them under the bus every time. Yeah, what an idiot, Aaron. Sorry, God, I'm terrible at this. I do this all the time when Shadow introduces me. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I thought you guys knew each other.

Terrible at this. Oh, yep. Same. Classic. Then you're like, write down the name. And they're like, you're writing down my name right in front of me. And you're like, no, I'm not. I remembered your name.

Steve. See? Yeah. When you've got it written on your hand. I know. I'm so bad at remembering names. Sorry. I can remember faces,

but just not names. But then what is a face without a name? That's you. I want to say the one with the beanie on, it's like Paul. Yep, it's Paul. That's me, Paul.

And the one with the cap on. Fletch, Paul and Hayley. Yeah. It's got a ring to it. It does. Play ZM's Flet ring to it. It does. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nailie. Play ZM. There is a woman from Queensland, Australia,

who she has spent over $100,000 to look like a real-life Barbie. Now, she has, she's got the bleach blonde hair. I'd say her boobs are maybe two of my heads. I didn't know that. Technically, cajongas? I believe they are called cajongas. Thank you. That's a technical term.

I used to work in bras and things. Not for long, though, because I kept calling them cajongas. Yeah, cajongas. Yeah, got a great couple of cajongas there. Come with me. We've got something on this rack. And then they said, come with me, born to HR. Yeah.

Yeah. She's had a lot of facial surgery. She's chiseled the jaw. Oh, Jesus. To go, to make it a bit more pointy. She's had like multiple nose jobs, lip fillers, Botox, you name it, she's done it. Yuck. And look, not to everyone's taste, but she has said it's changed her life for the better. She said with every single surgery, she can literally track how differently men and women,

men and women, both treat her. And she says with each surgery, it gets better and better and better. No, I think she's disillusioned. Or they're just like looking at her like, what have you done to yourself? I've always wondered that you start getting things done. And how do you know when to stop? You don't. I think you don't.

I think you lose a bit of perspective. Yeah. At a certain point. I'm not begrudging anyone plastic surgery. I guess neither. But if it's like little changes, so you're seeing all the little changes. If someone hasn't seen you between procedures two and seven, and then they see you straight from like a two to a procedure eight,

they're definitely going to notice a difference. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, maybe I've always wondered that if you just don't notice because it's just little changes each time. But so she's saying that people think because she's hotter, she's getting treated differently, like guys are holding doors for her. All sorts. And she said even when her work, I don't know what she does for work.

I'm going to say influencer. Okay. That was solid. She says that it's just helped her in all of facets of her life. So she's 25 years old and she's had lip fillers, Botox, fillers in her cheeks,

nasolabial folds, chin, jaw and temples filled, liposuction in the stomach, arm, inner thighs, upper and lower back, chin and face, along with two breast augmentations. Temples filled really grabbed my attention there. Temples filled. I've never seen anybody and forgot they've got some gaunt temples. I'm like, God, those dimples on your temples. For the Lord, her temples are sunken in.

Yeah. She's also had rhinoplasty and a forehead reduction where they move your entire hairline forward. What? A forehead reduction. Okay.

Oh, okay. Anyway. I mean, it's not for me. You skipped over the part she had rhinoplasty. She used to be a rhinoceros. Is it?

I know. And now she's a human. And now she's a human. That's amazing surgery. Say what you will. That's what they call a nose job. They took off a human. That's amazing surgery. Say what you will. That's what they call a nose job. They took off the horn.

They took off the horn off the nose. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. Anyway, I'm not really interested in the plastic surgery side of things because it's so divisive. Each to their own. It's your body. You can do what you want.

But I want to know if you got hot and did it change how people interacted with you? You know, like did you have a mega glow up or some huge weight loss thing or whatever and you feel like you got hotter and it changed the way that you are in the world? Hot people get away with everything.

They get, you know. Do you ever see a face like sometimes I'll see a face and I'll be like, imagine going through life with that face. Like it's so beautiful. Do you remember your friend that we went to Florence and the Machine with? And you wish you had that face. Yeah.

Your friend walked in and I was like, well, that's the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life. I couldn't even talk to him all night because he just had this face. Oh, he was a beautiful boy. Oh, my God. But then I wonder if, like, maybe you couldn't talk to him and you were a very confident person, so maybe he's too beautiful and people aren't approaching him.

Maybe we'll hear from people that used to have the glow up and all of a sudden everyone was a little bit intimidated by them. Yeah, maybe. Oh, yeah, and didn't talk to them. Yeah. Yeah. Because they got too hot. Yeah.

But maybe you noticed a change because you weren't, I guess, treated well by people before. Maybe, yeah. It doesn't have to be a positive change or a negative change. I just want to know if you got hot and then it changed the way that people interact with you. There's a chickie on Tiki Toki who is sharing that after $100,000 plus

spent on cosmetic surgeries and procedures that everyone treats her way better, she thinks, than they did before when she was just a regular plain Jane.

Right. So the question we wanted to know is if you've had a glow up or a total makeover or some kind of dramatic transformation and whether or not it changed how people engage with you. And some of the messages in. I know. Come on, society. Mind-blowing.

Yeah. Mind-blowing. Yeah. What have we got on the phone? Because I've got texts for everybody. Hayden, let's start with Hayden. Good morning, Hayden. Morning.

Now, how did people change how they spoke to you and interacted with you? Oh, I used to be a rarer. It's quite a funny story. So I used to be 140 kilos. Now I weigh about 85. Oh, wow. That's huge about 85. Oh, wow. That's huge, man.

So, you know, I'm a good 6'3", you know, so I'm not small. But, you know, I have a proper, you know, bit of a food diet. So I would eat all the time. And then one day during lockdown, I kind of just looked at myself and I was like, nah, that's not it. So for six months in lockdown, I had like one meal a day. Not recommended, but it did the job. And I lost maybe like 40 kilos in six months. So when I started in lockdown, I just looked like a completely different person.

And, you know, I never really got any looks like at the gym and stuff. But, you know, you start noticing people like give you like the side eye. And I'm not saying like I'm good-looking lad or anything, right? Oh, you sound hot. Your accent does a lot of the heavy lifting, I've got to be honest. Oh, no. I don't know. You should ask my girlfriend what she thinks of that.

Oh, God! All the good ones are taken. Sorry. No, no, I'm actually a Kiwi. You'd never believe it. Why? Yeah, but it's... Yeah, I'm actually a Kiwi. You'd never believe it. Why? Yeah, but it's, yeah, no, so it's like, it's kind of mad that you, the way society kind of, nobody, everyone's like, yeah, be yourself.

But as soon as you kind of do what society says, like people kind of treat you differently. It's so hard to describe, but I got it a long time. And then suddenly all this like opportunity like presented itself, you know, like suddenly work actually wanted me to become like a bit of a, you know, a face of the brand sort of thing. And I was like, whoa, where was this like seven months ago? Hayden, would you say a really popular text from people who messaged in saying that they lost weight was they were treated different when they went into shops, like retail shops, because they could, they just said, well the retail assistants, just to ignore them, are sort of

like, you're not going to fit anything here, sort of situation. But now that they, when they lost weight, whenever they go into shops, they're treated different. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, like, you know, I count that and they're not, like, lining me up for like, the food aisle anymore. They're not, like, stopping you. You'll be looking for the chips, mate. They're not like stopping you.

You'll be looking for the chips, mate. Just down here. I know, I know. No, but now they're like, oh yeah, the supplement section's down there, bro, you know. Yeah, bro. We're listening, bro. We're listening, bro.

And I still end up, and I still leave with like a bag of chips anyway. Good for you, eat the chips. Old habit. It's so strange. I mean, it sort of sparks a deeper conversation than just a light phone but the fact that the way that your workplace interacts with you changing you like your skills and who you are as a person has not changed only your size it is just you know it's like i kind of

think what would have happened in my life because you know my my girlfriend um was a bit of uh she was like i lost that weight so quickly i don't really have any updated pictures so she was like on the hinge i met on hinge and she was like oh maybe uh she was like if you look like that before probably wouldn't have even gone on a date with you just because you know when you're swiping left and right yeah if you do you see someone fat you know i'm, I was a jolly fat guy and I'm a skinny fat, like skinny jolly guy. It's like, you know,

I wouldn't have met my girlfriend if I hadn't lost that weight, I reckon. She would have looked at me and gone, nah, because just, you know,

how you're kind of conditioned to look at people like that. It's exactly what Tinder is. It's window shopping. You're not getting to know the person before you decide whether or not you're buying it. You don't know who you are.

No, exactly. You don't look at the bio or their age or anything. You look at how hot they are, really, or how good looking they are. Hayden, it's refreshing to hear a gentleman speak in such terms. It is. You're talking as someone that's been there. We would like to award you a Caller of the Week. Oh, that's good.

I agree. Yeah, we'll give you a $50 McCafe voucher. Thanks to our friends at McCafe. Thank you so much. Oh, legend. Thank you so much. Enjoy. Give it to her. All right. Thanks, that's good. I agree. Yeah, we'll give you a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our friends at McCafe. Oh, legend. Thank you so much. Enjoy. Thank you. We've got Raquel on the line. Raquel, how did people change how they interacted

with you? You had a glow up? Hi, how are you going? Good, good. Really good. So I got a boob job in Thailand. Right. Good for good. Really good. So I got a boob job in Thailand. Right. Good for you. Thank you.

Yeah, so I guess before that I... Fletcher's ass move was up or down. Was it a reduction or an enlargement? It's Thailand, mate. It's an enlargement, right? It was an enlargement. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay.

So before that I literally sort of, I had nothing to go with. Yeah. So it was quite a life-changing thing for me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to guess that guys looked more. Yeah. Yeah.

So I guess for the way attention-wise from there, it was, like, quite significant for me. Yeah, especially for, like, if I was to go out for a night out and let some cleavage out. So it was really, really different. I mean, it was a big adjustment. That's what I would do, though. If I spent money to go to Thailand and get a boob job, I'd be like, look, look, look. I'd get them out all the time. Touch them.

Your money's worth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you find any negative reaction? Oh, look, just worry from the parents, I guess, when you tell them you're going to Thailand. Oh, right, right. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. Did you check to make sure you've still got two kidneys? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Did you check to make sure you've still got two kidneys? Yes. No. It was actually like the best experience ever. And I totally, totally rate it. Yeah, yeah.

Somebody messaged in that they got a little bit nip-tuck. They were seeing a therapist at the time, and they said to the therapist, everybody's changing how they're dealing with me. And the therapist said to the therapist, everybody's changing how they're dealing with me, and the therapist said to them, you've actually changed how you're dealing with yourself. Yes. You're exuding a whole lot more confidence. Oh, that's deep.

And confidence attracts confidence, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I think just the happiness. Oh, sorry, that's my son in the back. Hi. Hey. How you doing, baby? You paid all that money,

and then that little bugger wanted to go and ruin them, I bet. Exactly, exactly. Back to Thailand. Thanks for nothing, little Timmy. Raquel, thanks for your call. Some more messages and so many messages. Yeah, this is unreal. I used to wear makeup every day and the tradies would let me go to the front of the bakery.

Like, one day I had no makeup on and they made me wait. That's at the low end of things. That's not cosmetic surgery In a South East Asian country That's just like Waking up a bit late And not having time Huge compliment though

For a tradie to do that Because they're on A 10 minute break They need that V in their eye They need that V in their eye Yeah Give it to them Yeah

Yeah Some other people said I think I've grown Into my sex innocence As an adult A mix of self love And external validation From good friends and family. Okay.

Somebody out, and quite a few people said this, when they really put a lot of effort into getting healthier and not just always with weight loss, but just taking care of themselves, getting a bit more exercise, their old friends weren't as interested in hanging out with them anymore. Oh, yeah, because then you're not the party person who wants to, you know, drink a liter of tequila and order five pizzas. Yeah. Going, oh, no, I won't go out this weekend. Yeah. Someone said, it's not always positive either. I lost 30 kgs, big glow up, found people treated me differently,

and men were disgusting. Cat calling and saying awful things to me in front of my children. Whoa. In front of children? Yeah. Get a grip. Yeah, I've since put the weight back on, but kept up with my fitness regime.

I'm much happier than I was. God, that's horrible. That's horrible. God, it's complicated, isn't it? It's a complicated little existence, humanity, isn't it? It truly is. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Damn it. I've doubled. I've, I've, I've. In an effort to sound more smart on my initial fact of the day, I found another fact of the day. More smarter.

Is it more smarter? It's more smarter-er. Okay, we'll just go with that then. Give us a double whammy. Okay, I'm going to give you a double whammy. So yesterday I saw we talked about love childs, children, yesterday on the show. Are you a love child?

Some very interesting stories. Some cool stories. And then later on that day, I was served up a Facebook reel of the best You Are Not the Father from the Maury TV show's DNA tests. And the reactions. Love, love.

The reactions are insane. Like the dudes, because it was the You Are Not the Father, the dudes were doing the dances on the stage and the women were just like raging and tearing down the set and attacking people. They're like, I don't have to pay this child support now. Yeah, that sort of thing.

Like she was all, and I felt really sad because they always showed the photo of the kid when they would like, not the kid wasn't there, but they'd be like, in the case of four year old Stevie, you are not the father.

And the guy would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the woman would be like, no, screaming, running around. Poor Stevie. And Stevie's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and the woman would be like, no, screaming, running around. Poor Stevie. And Stevie's just like this instrument. Anyway, it was interesting to watch, but then I felt riddled with guilt,

so I stopped watching it. So I thought, that's interesting. I've been served that after talking about Love Child. Yeah. The Love Child thing. Well, Facebook's always listening. Then I got, I'm looking for the fact of the day. I was going to say,

then I got an email from a young woman who said I was her father. Then when I was searching for the fact of the day, I came across a fact about paternity fraud. This is where someone knowingly raises a child with a man knowing he's not the father. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And it's illegal because it's a form of fraud. And if they knowingly lied about it, you can sue them in America. I don't know what you do here. But in this study, it said that one out of every 25 men worldwide will raise another man's child and not know it. That is 4%. Wow. Of the world's male population will raise a child

not knowing that that child is not theirs. Because you know you always know someone that doesn't quite look like their parents. Because you're supposed to look like your dad, eh? Because when you, like, isn't it the primal thing when you come out and you look like your dad, your dad's like, that's little me. Yeah, I won't kill you.

Ape brain protect little me. Right. But if it doesn't, throw it out of the tree. I don't know, are gorillas, are we living in trees? They live on the ground,

don't they? It's chimpanzees. Roll it down the hill. Yeah. Like that's the brain, the primal brain of it is that you protect something that looks like you.

Oh God, that's so many. I know. Yeah, one in 25 that looks like you. Oh, that's so many. I know. Yeah, one in 25. I was like, man, that's a lot.

And then, yeah, did some quick math. He's all right. Times 25 by four. Yeah, he's done math. Times one by four.

He's worked out it's 4%. That's a hell of a lot of people. I'm definitely my dad's daughter. I look so much like her. You do. You're a cross between both your parents. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Like some people you know. when your dad got his boob job, it was hard to tell you a lie. It was wild. And now that my hair's gone a bit lighter, he's got quite light hair in his boobs. It's so crazy. Yeah, you could be twins.

It's uncanny. It's very uncanny. So then I was like, maybe I'm just noticing this. We talked about love children. Then I got served the mori. Then I got this fact. It's one of those things. It's like when you get a Hyundai and then you see Hyundais everywhere.

Yeah. Okay. And then I was like, what's that called? So here's the secondary follow-up to fact of the day. Okay. That is called the beta Meinhof phenomenon. And that is where you learn something or something is brought to your attention that you have never given specific

time to think about before so that all of a sudden every time you see it you're like, uh oh, I've never seen this many of them before. Do you know a great example of that is when I had a car and one of my headlights was out. I was like, oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I'm going to be the only one with one headlight.

And then I saw them everywhere. And I was like, oh my god, there's so many people that just CBF going to an auto electrician because the bulb is a real spinny. They are a new car. Super expensive. There was a while where I thought I was the star of the Truman Show because just too many things like that. I was like, you guys are running out of storylines.

And then there was one day I saw someone on the street that I didn't know. And I was like, oh yeah, there's a person. And then they drove past me in a car and I was like, you've run out of cast members. You're reusing them.

Okay, that just sounds like paranoia. I was convinced for some time. Might have had a bit of a mentee bee. Yeah. Small one, small one. Yeah, small little mentee bee. So the beta monophenomenon is also frequency illusion or recency illusion. Yeah. Small one, small one. Yeah, small little mentee bee. So the beta monophenomenon is also frequency illusion

or recency illusion. Yeah. Where you start noticing things because you're already thinking about them. Wow. And that's maybe why yesterday I saw so many things about paternity and love child. Children.

Yeah. That's the plural there. So, is it? Yeah. I was going to go with kids. Today's fact of the day is 4%, according to the International Journal of Entomology and Health, so they're a journal, they're an official scientific journal,

one out of every 25 men worldwide will raise another man's child and not know it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Last night I saw a post on Reddit that said,

if this is your house in Pyear, you need to secure your CCTV. And I was like, what? And I clicked on it and it is a screen cap. They need to charge the battery. But it is a screen cap of a house in Paihear with a CCTV. Yeah. That is obviously unsecured because there is a Twitter account called unsecured CCTV cameras that I don't understand how,

but it randomly scrolls the world's CCTV cameras to find unsecured ones and then takes a screen cap of them and posts them onto the Twitter account. Now, every hour it updates with one. So is the idea are they perverts or are they just bringing light to the fact that people need to secure their... Not sure. I looked last night and I'm looking again now

at the 12 or so hours that have been done. Very rarely do they feature humans. Right. So they might have a thing if somebody's in the... They don't share it. So, a lot of people have these home security cameras. Right. So they might have a thing if somebody's in the... They don't show it. They don't share it. So a lot of people have these home security cameras. Yeah. How are they normally secured?

Like, don't they have a wireless and a password? Yes. So it's if people are probably using like a factory setting password or something. Maybe. Or just no password. No password. And then so anyone can get on and that's scary. Yeah.

And they're just... It was just fascinating scrolling around the world because it says what city they're in and what country they're in. Yeah. From, so I read that because I saw one that said Hamilton, New Zealand, but it wasn't Hamilton because it was at the beach. And then I read that they use the IP that it's coming down. So it must be internet based. Oh, yeah.

Of course it is because it's like accessing it from the internet. Yeah. And they said they're using the IP so it's pretty down, so it must be internet-based. Of course it is, because they're accessing it from the internet. And they said they're using the IP, so it's pretty close to the city that they say it's in. And then I started playing the game of scrolling through and trying to guess what country it was before I read what country it was. That was hard. It was a lot harder than I thought. But what kind of stuff were you seeing?

Just people outside of their front door and stuff? Not always. Here's Bucharest in Romania. It looks like a restaurant, just like, looks like a restaurant, just like the kitchen of a restaurant. Taipei, Taiwan's underneath that. And it's just somebody's like outdoor area with some scooters and a table.

I guess it's just where you have to go through to get to the door. Seoul, Korea, there's a computer lab with like three or four computers in it. Okay, so if you've got- Russia's got some interesting ones. Yeah, they've got so many cameras. They love a dash cam too. They love a dash cam.

They love a dash cam. There's one from Iran. I've never seen an inside Iran before. That looks beautiful. But isn't that a little way someone's outside? A little garden there in Tehran. So if you've got a... Oh look, there's a barbed wire fence in Turkey. Oh wow. What's that protecting people from? That's fascinating.

But again, I don't know how they're getting into these unsecured cams and it just scans it. Barbed wire fence in Turkey. Oh, wow. What's that protecting people from? That's fascinating. Keeping them out of. But again, I don't know how they're getting into these unsecured cams. It just scans it. Right. Yeah. Well, so if you've got a home security system, make sure you've got a good password. So the New Zealand one, hold on, I'll search New Zealand again

because there's a few on there. Most of them are quite old, making me feel like people maybe had been alerted to it. Right. But there were also ones, the Pie Hair one has happened really recently. Right. And it's just like somebody's batch at Pie Hair. Yeah, right.

Well, you want to have a strong password on there. Okay, so if you own a beach house, and it's a half round... That's inside the house. That's inside the house. That's what I'm saying. No humans in that one. So obviously it's a the house. That's inside the house. That's what I'm saying. Oh, my God. No humans in that one. Yeah, no.

So, obviously, it's a beach house or people aren't there full time. Well, secure your webcam. Secure your webcam. Secure it. Have a good password on it. Secure your webcam. Yeah. Yeah.

Reset your password. Make sure it's not the one that comes with the camera. I just didn't know that that was a possible thing. I thought that if you had a camera connected to the internet, it would be secured by nature. You've got these cameras. Yeah. Well, that's what I searched through there by New Zealand and nothing.

Nothing. But you've got a password on yours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And mine just isn't. Yeah, it's like of a bigger brand, and they've got all like two-factor and all this jazz. Right. So you can't kind of get on there.

But if they got hacked. Yeah. Right? They'll see you mowing the lawns. If their company got hacked. They'll see you mowing the lawns. They'll see me mowing the lawns. And they'll be like, so. So you can't kind of get on there. But if they got hacked. Yeah. Right? They'll see you mowing the lawns. If their company got hacked. They'll see you mowing the lawns. They'll see me mowing the lawns and they'll be like, boring.

Well, not really because sometimes you do it in your knickers, don't you? I do, I do. But you're not lately because the weather's been so poorly. Well, Lexi, she's got a TikTok account,

Travelling Nurse, and this video at last view had nine million views. Well, Lexi, she's got a TikTok account, Travelling Nurse, and this video at last view had 9 million views. Lay it on me. This has gone viral. She has worked in ERs around the place. She's British. Emergency rooms.

Yeah, she has listed the three things she will never, ever do. Heroin. I mean, I'd say everyday things. I wouldn't say heroin's an everyday thing for people. Well, some people. Number one, the thing she will never do as an ER nurse, she's seen far too many people die and end up in the ER, ride a motorcycle. Okay, motorbikes.

Never. She says never. Right. So she quoted, this is from the UK National Highway Traffic Safety Management. 14% of all fatalities in 2021 were motorcycles. And you know some people don't like... And motorcycles would be far less than 14% of all traffic. Just going for a comparable ratio.

Yeah. So that's one thing she said she'd never do as an ER nurse. Number two, use a propane tank. Is that the barbecue? Yeah. What's wrong with that? Like a gas bottle. I think she's just seen too many people in ER with...

How are they using them? Well, I guess they haven't connected them right or they've gone to light the barbecue and it's been on for 50 minutes and they haven't smelt the gas. And Womfa. Yeah, and Womfa. She would never use a... Mind you, the British are big charcoal barbecuers.

Are they? Big charcoal barbecuers. Yeah, they do a pile of charcoal and then they're like, oh, no, it's safer. And then they cover it in lighter fluid and light it that way rather than lighting it on an environmentally safe one under that. Because they have all those tiny little homes next to each other, there's no room for a big gas barbie. I don't know. I just remember talking to a British person and I talked about charcoal barbecuing

and I thought I was real cool and they were like, everybody, that's the preferred way of doing it. Number three on the list. As an ER nurse, the third thing she said she will never do, and this surprised me, go to a chiropractor.

I'm a little reluctant because it was invented by a man who, during a seance, talked to a very old ghost doctor who told him how to do it. Right. Because some people swear by chiropractors. Actual origins of chiropractic practice. But a chiropractor is a medical professional though, right? No.

Are you sure? Not recognised. Are you sure? Not recognised. So they're not a doctor? No. Not recognised. So they're not a doctor? No. Some people, not me, because I'm polite, would call them a quack, sir. Oh, really? Not either, sir.

Not you. She's just citing people that have had problems with their neck being adjusted and then dying and having things put out and then having to go to ER. Oh, God. Yeah, some of those things you see online and them getting the old adjustment, it looks rough.

Yeah, so it looks rough. Well, yeah. It looks rough. One study showed there were 26 deaths due to a tear in the vertebral artery following a neck adjustment. 26 deaths? Yeah. Since when? It doesn't say.

It doesn't say. Oh, my God. Yeah. They when? It doesn't say. It doesn't say. Oh, my God. Yeah. They're rare. We'll say that chiropractic injuries are rare. I don't want to tear my spinal fluid. She's saying that they can occur. It's the LPG bottle that surprises me.

She'd never use an LPG. Well, they're flammable. They're bombs, aren't they? They're little bombs with a valve. You have to be using them so wrong. They're explosive. Except for the potential to be bombs. They do, they do.

Yeah. One of our kids were burning the rubbish once. It was the 80s. Oh my God, did you chuck a Lynx bottle in? No, no, no, no, no. It was just all, there was this big clean out and it was just in the dump. It was the 80s, give me a break.

Even if I had a dump. And the fire was going and we were sitting inside and the fire was like roaring a little way away from the dump. It was the 80s, give me a break. Even if I had a dump. And the fire was going and we were sitting inside and the fire was like roaring a little way away from the house. And we went outside for something and then it just went, and this like blew the fire apart. And my dad was like,

oh shit, that must've been the old gas bottle. I love that he put it in there. It was a little wee one. It was for this little ring barbecue we had, like a little tiny, tiny gas bottle, and the explosion was insane. And it was empty. And it was empty.

Or closer to empty. Yeah, yeah. So I can say now I'm seeing why they're dangerous, but so many people use them every day. I know. Well, be careful. I counted 79 all rights today, Fletch. I believe that's a new personal record.

Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.