ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 23rd November 2023

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

- Hayley returns- Shannon overestimated her swimming- Top 6- Fact of the dayyyyyySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletchforn and Hayley. She's come crawling back. Yeah. Out of the sick bed. Good lord, my poor nostrils.

I've done 10 negative COVID tests. I was so convinced. I was like hot and cold, a bit fever-y sore, then that went away, and then it changed to something else. I was like, what's going on? There's a bit of cold and flu going around as well. There's something. Along with the vid.

Yeah. Producer Jared's still sick today. You guys did really well. I did tune in yesterday. Why don't you have a little critique? Well, I just wanted to sort of see how the vibe was. Okay. Tell you what,

Georgia can get back to days. Thank you. She was very charming and entertaining. She was very charming and entertaining. I know. There's a video of you and you're bloody laughing away at the title of your life.

Oh, wow. It's like what? Like I didn't even exist. It's like I'm cheating on you and I haven't done anything wrong. I've just literally turned up to do my job. Wow.

And now I'm in trouble. You should have had an air of I'm not enjoying this as much as if Hayley was here. That's all I'm saying. And yet the show seemed to be flying. Yeah. In fact, arguably better. Okay, wow.

That's not my fault that we just had, you know, sparking chemistry. Yeah. If you could just put that out, please. Just pull it back. Just pull it back next time. Yeah. Pretend not to enjoy it.

Yeah, just be like or every now and then have a laugh and then be like funny but not quite as funny as Hayley. Something like that. Okay, like a little line

like that. Okay, for next time. Vaughan's still away on his Disney cruise so just us today. I'm going to say it. Looks full on. Oh, the cruise?

Yeah. Yeah, I know. Like there's Goofy's everywhere. It's not our vibe. Goofy's know. Like there's Goofies everywhere. I mean, it's not our vibe. Goofies everywhere. There's a reason why we weren't invited. Yeah. Let's just leave it at that. We will be the top six soon

though. Yeah, so people saw that Dwayne the Rock Johnson was sharing one of his iconic workouts on Instagram yesterday where he was like, and sweating buckets. But there was something we noticed in the background.

It's a little embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. The amount that he was actually lifting. It wasn't much, was it? Bruh. Bruh, it wasn't a lot. It wasn't a lot.

So I've got the top six reasons that I'm stronger than Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Next on the show, though, we've had some news from outer space. Halien News. Oh, God. Makes a return. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Time for some Halien News. We have a day off and then...

I demanded this. Back with Halien News. First break of the show. That's where I'll take it. Well, it's hardly prime time, is it? So the people listening now, you're telling them that we give them the bad stuff?

Absolutely not 6-11. Absolutely not. Good morning to you. Halean News. This is incredible. This is from NASA themselves. The space agency. Okay. We've got laser beams, okay? And they have developed a means of communication

that can travel so far, like further than ever before. So they are trying to basically create a means of communication so that we could communicate with people far from us. Yeah, but you're saying they're going to fire a laser? Like this is only going to work if it's cats on other planets.

No. Because the cats will see the red dot and just go absolutely crazy for it. It's messages. Laser-beamed messages have been received. Well, how is there a message in a laser beam? Well, we've received them, or they've received them. We've given them out. Or they're sending.

Okay. We've given them out, and then we have received them back from 10 million miles away, which is 40 times further than the moon is from Earth. Right. It's the furthest we've ever been able to transmit information and then receive it back. It's not, the aliens haven't sent a message back. Something that they've sent out has come back.

But what this means is, in terms of the science of it, that's further than we've ever been able to go before. So when aliens want to communicate with us, which is any day now. Any day now. The only reason we haven't heard from the aliens is because they haven't had means to communicate with us because they're too far away. We know this.

They don't have 4G or 5G like we do. They don't even have 3G. Wi-Fi? They have Wi-Fi? I don't know what they're with there. They don't know the password. They forgot it. It was the manufacturer.

It was on the back of the box and then it didn't, you know, they've just lost the box. So this means that aliens further from our, the reach that we've been able to have before will be able to communicate with us by the power of laser beams. Now this has totally opened up the communication lines.

It makes sense though because we're in a simulation, aren't we? So of course we'd get a message back. Oh yeah, this is all bullshit. This whole thing is all BS. This is basically the Truman Show. Don't even go to work today because it's a simulation. But as part of the simulation,

at some point alien contact will be made. They're just holding that storyline. Right. Because we've got a lot going on at the moment with the whole COVID thing. War. The wars.

Yeah, okay. Cost of living. They were like, just you wait. Season 10. What's next? We've got a lot coming. We are basically just in a Sims.

10 million miles away. I mean, that's just, how many miles away is Australia? You don't even know. I don't even know. It's 2,000 kilometres. How many miles between NZ and where are we?

Australia. 2,583 miles. Yeah, okay. So 10 million. That's a long way. Think about the flight. So we're on the precipice of alien communication here. So get ready.

And you know I will be the first to report on it. I think you're going to say the first that they will take. I was like, I don't know if you'd be the first. I don't know if I'm the finest specimen of human. Do you know what I mean? I feel like they'll go for like the finest specimen of human. You're a little bit pickled. Like you've had a few Proseccos. Yeah, they'll be like, why is this one

rotten? She's rotten to her core. She's brown on the inside, like an apple. She's like a bruised peach. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A study out of Australia has asked men, Australian men,

how long sex lasts and how long they think it should last. Interesting thing about these surveys, I'm always like, did they go into their lovemaking session with a timer? Yeah. Or did they actually ask? Because I don't time myself. Maybe you put a song on, and we talked about sexy playlists at the start of the week,

but maybe they put a song on and then halfway through the next song it ends. Yeah, they're like, so two three-minute songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe something like that. So men typically last five and a half minutes, according to the survey results. But people think it should be twice as long as that. So they were like 10, 11 minutes, maybe 12.

Actually, I mean, even them overestimating it 10 minutes, I'm like, good for you. I mean, a lot of people would be like, I don't know, probably like an hour. To which most women were like, please no. Please no. That's not good for anyone involved. No, no. Unless we're taking breaks. Or you're kind of able to watch the TV at the same time.

We've got the TV on. We're having meals. We're having a glass of wine. We're having breaks. Sure. So five minutes is the average time. Yeah. Maybe you're on your phone.

I mean, if someone's on TikTok or watching reels, that. Yeah. No. That's no good. That watching reels, that... Yeah. No. That's no good. That's no. Five mins. Yeah. Where do you sort of sit

on the average? I don't know. Because if that's the average, you've got to think that some people are up. Way less and way more. Some people will be way less. Yeah.

In the words of Missy Elliott, I don't want, I don't need, I can't stand no minute man. I don't want no minute man. Okay, right. Two though? Two? I mean, I don't need, I can't stand no minute man. I don't want no minute man. Okay, right. Two though? Two?

I mean, I've definitely had a few twos. I've had some ones and some twos. I've had some fives. Yep. All adds up though, doesn't it? All adds up. Yeah, I'm like, hey, how you going in there, buddy? We, um, wrap this up. We good? How you going, mate?

Oh, yeah, me. Oh, ages ago. Yeah, no, no, ages ago. I'm good We good? How you going, mate? Oh, yeah, me. Oh, ages ago. Yeah, no, no, ages ago. I'm good. You, anytime you want, mate. Wrap it up. I'm not talking about my fiance here. Wrap it up.

No, obviously not. Communication is key. Exactly. Exactly. The top six is next. The Rock, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Yeah, Dwayne The Rock. I'm going to take on The Rock.

The top six reasons why I'm stronger than the giant that is Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Bonjour. Bonjour. Now, Dwayne The Rock Johnson is a unit. He is cut 365 days a year.

Yeah, he's a machine. He's a machine. And he often shows his workouts off on Instagram, right? He's got his own gym and he's in there. He's like, yo, it's 2 a.m., let's lift. It's crazy. Now, the other day on his Instagram, he showed himself doing, is it a lat pull? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or a cable crossover. Cable cross, yeah, kind of like a cable pull thing. Yeah. And he is bent, his muscles are popping, and sweat is pissing from his head and every inch of his body. And everyone was like, man, that dude lifts. Then in the background of this, you can see if you use a pulley machine before, they've got little plates that go up and down.

And you see his plates. He's on the second plate. Now, on every gym, that's around about the 15 kg mark. It's not much. Now, bra, if you lift like we lift, bra, that's not much at all. At all. Everyone was and then it's like a 15. It's not much, yeah. Now, bra, if you lift like we lift, bra, that's not much at all. At all.

Everyone was like, he's like, as he's pulling these down. Everyone's like, dude, that is so light. So I have the. He's an actor. So was he acting? Nah, dude, he's sweating. But maybe he's got an injury. You don't know.

He might not be able to do much. He is struggling. He is struggling with 15 measly kgs. So you're saying you could do more than The Rock on this exercise? I'm about to give you the top six reasons why I'm physically stronger than Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Okay, okay. Number six on the reasons that I'm stronger than Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I've got the weight of the glass ceiling above my head that I have to smash through every time I stand up from a squat.

Yeah. Dwayne The Rock Johnson doesn't have that weight. He doesn't have that, yeah. He doesn't have that. Yeah. So that's why I'm stronger than him when I squat. Number five are the reasons of the top six things that weigh... How does he do this?

Ways that I'm stronger than Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I've got the weight of the patriarchy on my shoulders. Oh, of course, yeah. Yeah, every time that I shoulder press. You'rene The Rock Johnson. I've got the weight of the patriarchy on my shoulders. Oh, of course. Yeah. Every time that I shoulder press. You're not just lifting the weight, but also the... It's the weight of the world. The patriarchy. The patriarchy is on my bar.

Yeah. The patriarchy is not on his bar. No. That's light as a feather for him. Yeah. In fact, that's helping him. He'd probably struggle if he had the patriarchy and that 15 kgs. The patriarchy is actually spotting his bar.

Yeah. Whereas it's on my bar. Number four, the reasons that I'm stronger than Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I've got the weight of a juicy set of breasts on my chest every time that I chest press. Yeah, he doesn't have those. He doesn't have that.

He doesn't have that. Yeah. So you're actually doing... No, they're a gift, but a burden. But you're actually doing more because you've got the weight of the breast. I could put it on a scale and that'd be heavy. Yeah.

He doesn't have that on his chest. How much does a breast weigh? I don't know. Depends per breast. I'd have to get a food scale, I guess, and like slip it under or pop it down. Have you ever fallen asleep on your arm and then you go to pull it up and you're like, oh my God, this is it. How am I carrying these around?

Yeah, and you're like, oh my God, I'm going to lose my arm. I can't even feel it. And you lift it. It's so heavy. How much does the average breast weigh? Just over a pound? Have you gone chicken breast there or human? I think I did humans. Full cup size over the course of a month. Oh, hormonal

fluctuations. There you go. So you're lifting that as well. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Number three in the top six reasons why I'm stronger than Dwayne the Rock Johnson, I've got the weight of a yearning uterus in my downstairs every time that I hip thrust.

Yeah, it's yearning for children all the time. Yeah, all the time. Fill me! And that's heavy. A woman that has two uterus is two uteri. Yeah. And she's pregnant with twins, one in each one. Yeah, I've got that.

So that would be you. Mine's not completely split, but mine looks like a little thing. Yeah, it's so weird. And you can just like shove a baby in each. No thanks. No, thank you. Number two on the top six reasons why I'm stronger than Dwayne the Rock Johnson. I've got the weight of a spreading stomach

that is actively trying to keep my ovaries warm at all times. Yeah. Every time that I do an ab crunch. Now, he doesn't have that weight. He doesn't have that, yeah. In fact, he's got barely any stomach fat there. So that makes you stronger, doesn't it? Yeah.

Because you've got that, yeah. Women, we're just holding a lot, actually. And number one on the top six reasons why I'm stronger than physically. I don't know about mentally. Why I'm stronger physically than Dwayne the Rock Johnson, because brah, I can lap pull more than 15 kgs. Have another protein shake. That's weak from you.

Will you be demonstrating this at the gym today after the show? You know it. That's today's top six. Play it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I don't want to make us seem old, but I didn't really have the internet when I was eight, I don't think. I feel like, yeah.

Like, I think we had a family computer at that point and maybe you could get on the internet, but it wasn't like part of my daily life. No. As it would be for the kids now. Oh, yeah, like kids now come out of the womb and they have an iPad already. Attached. It's attached.

The umbilical cord's not even to a placenta anymore. It's literally to an iPad. It's USB. It's USB. Yeah, you just unplug it. The dad doesn't cut it anymore. Yeah. Or the mum, the second mum.

Wow, look at me with my heteronormative BS this hour of the morning. Yeah. God, I apologise. Now, an eight-year-old boy, this is why I'm talking about this, is because an eight-year-old boy's search history has been mocked online by his father and sister and the results are very funny.

So this is my eight-year-old brother. How did Extension die? How did Michael Jackson die? How did Elvis die? David Bowie. Arson. Oh! Barbecue sauce on titties! Barbecue sauce

on titties. Barbecue sauce on titties. Barbecue sauce on my titties. Oh my god! I love that so much. Just that they lose it. I know. And also the innocence of everything else.

Just the curiosity of a kid's mind where they're like, how did Elvis die? How did Jack Jackson die? Let's be honest, all of our search histories would also be quite entertaining as well. Because you do have the most random thoughts and then you're like, what is the answer to that? Yeah.

And then you type it. And then you go down this rabbit hole of just typing. All the times. Yeah. I type the most random stuff. Now, apparently I missed this because I wasn't big on Vine. It's a Vine reference, isn't it? It's a Vine reference.

Barbecue sauce on my titties. Okay, yeah. It's just a guy talking about barbecue sauce on titties. Yeah. But I just, I'm like, Vine is well before an eight-year-old's time. Yeah. So somehow this weird thing has come back into the zeitgeist of children, and this kid has looked it up, and I'm like,

what are the results he's getting? Now, I've just searched it. Some of it's about the Vine. Some of it ain't. Some of it is about to get you flagged by IT. But reference this voice break. Hi, IT. Hi, IT.

Hi, IT. It's me, Hayley Sproul from ZM Breakfast. The reason that I have been searching barbecue sauce on titties and a myriad of other sexy things is part of my job. And just to not look further into it. Don't dig deeper. Don't go deeper. We don't need to know the key words in a mokonama or anything like that.

Would your mum, if you had an iPad or a laptop as a teenager, would she have snooped? My mum, I know once or twice my mum read my diary. Did you keep a diary every day? No, I had one as a kid and it wasn't every day, but it was like, Jess is so pretty. I wish I was pretty like Jess. I love Marcus Lamb. He's got a floppy haircut and I like it.

So that was pretty innocent. I think I had like a little like journal thing when I was a teenager. I know my mum read it. Cause then she was like, are you into witchcraft? She thought you were a witch. I mean, the cover of the book gave it away. Right.

A lot of pentagrams facing the wrong way. Right. But yeah, then she was like, you're into witchcraft, better get you off to some therapy. And that was my first foray into therapy. So yeah, she had a snoop. And I think that she would have

definitely gone through my internet search history. 100%. Yeah. She's a curious mama. PlayZM. definitely gone through my internet search history. 100%. Yeah. She's a curious mama. I've always wanted a Guinness World Record but I don't know what I would do

and it would have to be something so random that actually no one else just had it. I know because you like those people that get a record and then like a week later

someone beats them it's like what? You went to all that effort. Yeah for what? You did a 72 hour swing-a-thon and now someone's beating what you went to all that effort yeah for what you did a 72-hour swing-a-thon yeah and now someone's beating you and it was all for nothing something you need no skill in yeah you know what i mean yeah like i've gone the most you know and you're like cool man what a legacy to leave behind i don't know i don't know if gettingness World Record would even take that. Your time starts now.

That's my attempt. Yeah. Well, the Guinness World Record have announced that they are going to be withdrawing some categories. Oh, yeah. With some consideration for numerous reasons, most of them because they're controversial or dangerous to the person involved. One of them is gluttony, so things like eating the most.

So eating, like fastest, like hot dog eating competitions? No, speed eating's fine. Oh, okay, if you eat. The amount is the problem. Right, okay. So people are like, I ate 25,000 calories in a day, that's one. Whoa, okay. And that was celebrated, and you're like, don't do that. Yeah, we don't celebrate that. That's one. Whoa. And that was celebrated and you're like, don't

do that. Yeah, we don't celebrate that. It's actually bad for you. Whereas speed eating, the whole point is like, you can't get that much in because it's all about time. Good minute. So you're not going to eat 5,000 hot dogs in a minute. No. So you'll probably be fine. Okay. So like how much you're going to

eat, that's gone. So the people that did have those records for gluttony eating competitions. They'll hold them. They'll just hold them and they will have that forever. Yeah. Wow, okay. Cool record. The next one is invasive medical testing or surgeries

because they're just too dangerous. Like skin piercings and people being held by this. I hate when people are like, suspension, you know. I'm not here to yuck someone's yarn, but yuck. Yeah, so like who's had the most medical procedures done to themselves, that kind of stuff. But nobody's doing that on purpose, though, right? Most medical ultrasounds in eight hours

because everyone's like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, people are doing them on purpose. What, really? Yeah. Like medical procedures? Yeah, medical procedures. Oh, yeah. Yeah, people are doing them on purpose. What, really? Yeah. Like medical procedures? Yeah, medical procedures. Oh, God.

Don't do that. Being buried alive, that's going to be gotten rid of because people die. Yeah, they do. People die trying to attempt these. Mr. Beast has just done it. I thought you said Mr. Bean. Now I would watch that. I'm in this box for a few days.

Come on, bring back Mr Bean. Come on, Rowan. What did Mr Beast do? He got buried alive for like, was it a week? He was awake. I go so mad.

It's his latest video because he's been buried alive before but this one was longer. Get a hobby, you know? I think that he's making millions of dollars and I think that's his hobby.

Do some charity with that money. I think he does. He already does it. Yeah, he know. I think that he's making millions of dollars. Is he? That's his hobby. Do some charity with that money. I think he does. He already does. Yeah, he does. Give people eyesight and stuff. As you were then. Yeah. Carry on.

Fasting and hunger strikes for obvious reasons. You know, like most amount of time without food. They're gone from the Guinness World Records. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. Wait. So the Guinness World record

Recognised Angus Barbieri Barbieri Who Survived on Liquids and vitamins For 382 days

In the 1960s What So no solid foods Was then admitted To hospital For losing A dramatic weight And

Stuffing his body up But they verified That as a Guinness record at the end of it. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. You can't have people doing those. This one's longest continuous note on a saxophone. And they've cancelled that award.

Why have they cancelled that? Oh, so you can use a circular breathing method. The current record was made in the year 2000 when everything went to K because of the Y2K bug. 47 minutes and 55 5.5 seconds. But why have they cancelled that award?

Concern was it would be unsafe due to the potential to starve the brain of oxygen. Oh, okay, right. You're also, if you do a continuous breathing, you're you're like breathing in your own carbon dioxide. So it'd be bad. Longest kiss, same reason.

Breathing, sleep deprived. You get ill from other, like, you know, not sleeping, eating, breathing. And imagine the pass rash after a Guinness World Record kiss. What, of 50 hours and 35 minutes? Yeah, gotta be raw. 50 hours. That's over two days. I wonder they cancelled that award.

Just be like... By the end. Yeah. Dance marathons for exhaustion, they're done. And the last one, which I'm sad to see go. This is a cancelled Guinness World Record.

The one that they will never do again. They're not gonna do them anymore. Stupid pet tricks. Oh. Because they're putting unnecessary stress on again. They're not going to do them anymore. It's stupid pet tricks. Oh. Because they're putting unnecessary stress on animals and animals don't choose to do them. Yeah. So then they're like, you're forcing them into this kind of like

gruelling stamina test and you're an animal you don't ever say. That's cute. That's cute. There's a picture of a parrot lifting a weight. Now that's cute. We're not going to see that anymore. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Today's silly little pole. And it's all because of comedian Ricky Gervais, who has been touring his Armageddon show sold out for like the last year and a half. Yeah. Around the world, which, by the way, announced a couple of days ago will be on Netflix on Christmas Day. That's good. Oh, he's so funny. He is funny.

Like him or not. But he is what has caused today's Silly Little Pole and a debate, really, about what middle-aged is. Because he tweeted, happy birthday, Jesus. No, that was to announce a show. Oh, yeah, and then someone said, is it suitable to watch with my nan and gramps on Christmas Day? Yep. And then he said, depends, do to watch with my nan and gramps on Christmas Day? Yep.

And then he said, depends, do you enjoy watching a middle-aged man swearing, joking, and pretending to off a beep? Yep. Anyway, everyone was like, never mind the profanity, middle-aged? Because he's 62. He's 62. And it looks great for his age. I know, now everyone's like, wait, is he? Yeah.

He's incredible. I would have thought his age. I know. Now everyone's like, wait, is he? Yeah. He's incredible. I would have thought like 50s. Yeah, same. But I mean, he was old. Was he in his 40s or 50s when he did The Office? No, it would have been 40s. Yeah, 40s. Because that was 20 years ago now.

No, it wasn't. It was... No, it wasn't. When was UK Office... Don't do... I'm in a real time in my life where these things are coming up. 2001 to 2003. So it was more than 20 years ago.

Whatever. So we ask, how old is midlife? Like middle-aged. I'm 34. I'm definitely not middle-aged. You're in your 40s. I'm 44.

So my mum just messaged me and said, I'm middle-aged. She's got a gold card. Hon. Bev. Bev. But it's how old you feel.

No, but I think of my parents as middle-aged, and they're 62. So I've Googled, and a lot of people Google this, and this is what we asked for still at a poll today. So before we get into our poll results, what is middle-age? Middle-age is the age range of the years halfway between childhood and old age. The exact range is subject to medical debate, but the term is commonly

used to denote the age range from about 40 to 45 to 60 to 65. Yeah, but that's 20 years difference. But you can't say middle age is 65. That means you're going to live to 130. Yeah.

Okay, well, we asked. We've done our own research. How old is middle-aged? 30s? 3% of you. How dare you? How dare you? 3% said yes to 30s.

Do you know that's probably our younger poll respondees? Because you know when you're young, you're a teenager, like 30 and 40 is real old. I know. Yeah. I saw a thing where they were asking people in the NBA, the basketball league, like how old do you think someone,

what year would someone be born if they were old? And they're like, I don't know, like after the year 2000. I was like, sorry? How dare you? Excuse me? So 3% of people said the 30s. 46 was like, sorry? How dare you? Excuse me? So 3% of people said the 30s. 46% of people said the 40s. 49% of people said the 50s.

And 2% of people said people in their 60s. So we're kind of all agreeing that 30s is too young. We're all agreeing that. And 60s is too old. 40s and 50s is close. Well, I mean, if you live to 80 or 90, that's halfway, isn't it? Yeah. So Katie, some feedback.

Katie said the 50s, because I'm nearly 40, therefore it's not allowed to be the 40s. So 50, have to be optimistic about making it to 100. Yeah, I want to make it to 100. If you make it to 100, you're going to be pickled. You'll be pickled. I'll be pickled and leathery. Kelly said 50

is when you're just about to hit retirement. Wishful thinking, Kelly. You better have a buff Kiwi saver, Kelly. 50 is when you're just about to hit retirement and decide that you need some excitement in your life and go and buy toys like fast cars, fancy golf clubs and

upgrade the Mrs. or the Mr. for a newer model. Statistically speaking. You're going to have a toy boy, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're not going to repeat what you said off here

about what the toy boy does? Okay, don't worry about it. It's just some manual labor. Angela says, the average life expectancy in New Zealand, she's done some research, Oh, okay. is around about 80, give or take.

So 40. So 40s is your midlife. Shut up, Angela. Samara said, I'm 34. My 22-year-old co-worker called me middle-aged last week and I found my first grey hair. So life is officially over, right? Yeah.

Oh my God, Samara. Emma says 50s because I'm 43. So basically we're all in denial. Yeah. And definitely not ready to be middle-aged. And Sarah said the 3% saying 30s, shut up, it's your bedtime. I agree with you there, Sarah. Yep.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Trouble. Anyway, this article, well, this zoo that we want to talk about has been brought to us by producer Shannon. And I just want to say, this is one of the most Shannon finds. It really is. And I say that in a loving way, Shannon. This is very endearing.

I'm excited to hear this. I'm glad it's made it to radio. By the way, tell everybody what you did when you woke up really early this morning. I woke up a little bit dusty at 2.30. Drunk a whole bottle of wine last night. Couldn't get back to bed. Yeah, so I was like, I'm hungry so I just made a toasty. And it felt really rogue. At 2.30 in the morning?

Yeah, like proper with butter. And you've been up since 2.30. Yeah, and I didn't want to wake up my flatmates so I used a torch and it felt old school. Yum. Toasty. You made a toasty by torch. Yeah, it was epic. want to wake up my flatmates, so I used a torch and it felt old school. Yum. Like candlelight. He made a toasty by torch. Yeah, it was epic. Toasty by torchlight.

Shannon Trim. Now, Shannon found the Alabama Zoo and something exciting about the zoo, because, you know, lots of debates around zoo. A lot of them, a lot of zoos do rescue animals. Yes. They're not, the old school zoos would, like, capture them and keep them there in terrible cages, and now a lot of zoos do rescue animals. Yes. They're not, the old school zoos would like capture them and keep them there in terrible cages.

And now a lot of them are rescued and some of them are still released in the wild. Some of them are breeding animals as well when they wouldn't in the wild. Exactly. And like bringing animals out of extinction. I think they do a lot of good work. The Alabama Zoo is slightly different to your average zoo.

You cannot cancel this zoo. You cannot cancel this zoo. Open Mondays through Sunday. 9-5 you can visit. This is in Alabama. This is the Alabama Rock Zoo where all of their animals are rocks. Large rocks.

Boulders I would say. Painted in the likeness of an animal. Now I'd encourage you to Google the Alabama Rock Zoo when you pull over and have a chance to. If there's one thing you have to do today, it's Google the Alabama Rock Zoo. Now, I will give this to you. You, Fletch, what I'm showing you. Is that a giraffe?

It's a giraffe. Yes. Now, the rock is just a rock, but it has a long sort of bit at the end. And so the zookeeper, that is her title, Tammy the zookeeper, thought, now that looks like a giraffe. How much does the Alabama Zoo Rock Zoo pay? How much is the entry? I think it might be free entry.

Now, the elephant is very great. It's very small. But this was actually started in the 1970s by Tammy, who's the current zookeeper, by her grandfather, who they were building a highway near his farm and he had two boulders that he had to move out of the way and he put them there. And then his son was like, that looks like a hippo.

And so then the grandfather was like, well, I'll paint it like a hippo. And then it just kind of went from there. And now it's a full zoo and people go and they have the best time ever. There's a dog. Is there a big chicken of mine? The same one? Because I found a rock zoo on TripAdvisor.

Yeah, there's 50. Is that the one? Yeah, that's it. There's 50 types of animals in this zoo. Okay, because you know. The likes of which you wouldn't see together in a zoo. Okay, because you know I... And the likes of which you wouldn't see together in a zoo. Yeah, because they'd fight.

Chickens, dogs, giraffes and hippos. So it's got five reviews on TripAdvisor. Oh, give me some reviews, please. Four and a half stars. Jeepers. So out of five reviews... I bet Kelly Tarleton's isn't even that high. Two excellent and three very good.

Somebody said, cool to see, but would not go out of your way. Four stars. Yeah, ouch. Wow. This was very clever and we took many pictures. Stop was not far off State Highway 72 on our way to Huntsville. Guy who owns this property has done a great job. Yeah, great. Well, now he's

passed away, that guy, so now it's Tammy. This was such a fun stop. It's a roadside painted rock zoo. We laughed the entire time. Spoiler alert, you should just let people think it's a zoo, I think. A lot of thought, creativity and artistry went into creating this.

It didn't take long, maybe 15 minutes. Timewell spent five stars on TripAdvisor. Yeah, incredible. Unconventional, but very creative says David. Five stars. Now, incredible. Unconventional, but very creative, says David. Five stars. Now, I will say the paint job on the rock animals is amateur at best. It really is, yeah.

I think Pops had some house paint left around. Yeah. Now, I will, to put it in context, four and a half stars on TripAdvisor. Both the Wellington and the Auckland zoos have four and a half stars. Oh, there you go. So on par. And I have visited multiple times both those zoos. Love them, yeah. And they are incredible zoos. I and a half stars. Oh, there you go. So on par. And I have visited multiple times both those zoos and they are incredible zoos. I love them both.

So if you're listening to this retrospectively on the podcast and you live in Alabama, you simply must go. Or you're on Highway 72, Fackler is the name of the place. Fackler. It's the number one out of two things to do in Fackler. We simply must. Do you want the, I just love that the place is called Fackler. Guys, should of two things to do in Fackler. We simply must. Do you want the, I just love that the place is called Fackler. Guys, should we do a show trip to Fackler?

Ross Boss, can we go to Fackler, please? Do you know the other tourist attraction in Fackler is the Never Sink Pit? Wait, so there's a sink pit that doesn't sink? It's a cave by the looks of it. It's a sink pit. Look at this photo. It looks like the start of a horror movie. You do not go in there.

Oh, my God. We simply must Fackler. We must go to the rock zoo. Well, I noticed, you know, that Cam from the night show, he got to go overseas on a trip to bloody Miami. Well, he got to see The Weeknd in Santiago. Yeah, and then Clint recently went to Perth. To see Coldplay.

All we ask. Is to go to the rock zoo. Is to go to the rock zoo Is to go to the Rock Zoo In Fackler Alabama In Fackler, Alabama What's today? It's the 23rd of November

Oh my god we're so close The Christmas clock Is telling me I've just done some shopping The work wifi is so slow. It's 31 days. 31 days until Christmas, which for us is two paydays. Yeah, don't think about it like that.

Or if you're weekly, it could be like four paydays or monthly. Oh, my God. Also, it's a week tomorrow until I get to put up my Christmas tree. My first ever Christmas tree. Is that when you've decided to do it? December 1st. Okay. As a Christmas tree virgin, other than, you know, my when you decided to do it? December 1st. Okay.

As a Christmas tree virgin, other than, you know, my family had them. It was my mum's responsibility. As the leader of the Christmas tree this year, this is my first time. And I've been taking the advice online that December 1st isn't appropriate. Okay, well, you're very excited. Well, out of the UK, they've done some research on how much you should spend on your partner or how much people do spend. Now, this is in pounds. The average, 144 pounds on their partner's gift.

That's like 300 bucks. Yeah, but then do you think it's kind of like relative? Like the average in New Zealand would be about 140? No, it's not relative. That's, no. Oh my relative. That's, no. Oh, my God, that's, no. I've had some Christmases where we've done lots of versions. We've had Christmases where we've gone, like, crazy.

I remember one year I just bought Aaron a normal human gift. Yeah. And he bought me a Deadly Ponies wallet, a something else, a commissioned vase by a ceramicist. I was like, what are you doing?

And he went crazy. And then the next Christmas, like a $20, do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like he can't win. Spread it out. Yeah.

Spread it out. But we, yeah, I guess people do go nuts. I've always, my parents, they'll always buy something really quality, and they're always shocked that it's like 300 bucks or something. And you're like, oh, my God. Well, so if the average Brit is spending 144 pounds on their partner,

they're also spending a little bit less on close family members. So I'm imagining like, you know, siblings and mum and dad, 128 pounds. Jeez, no. No. I would say you would spend the most on your partner. Yeah. And then you would spend, for me, I go Aaron. And then down from there, I would spend the next amount on my mum and dad.

Fletch, Vaughn. No, no, no. No, mum and dad. Okay. And then like my secret Santa from Aaron's family would be under that. Yeah. Then under that would be nieces and nephews.

And then my bestie. Sometimes we do Christmas presents. My brothers after that, like we don't often do it. Then myself, I'll get myself a Christmas present. No, I'm probably more up close to the top. Really close work friends, colleagues? Colleagues? Friends? Oh, I don't know. When are we going to get Car present. No, I'm probably more up close to the top. Really close work friends? Colleagues?

I don't know. When are we going to get Carwin? I'm not sure. She's listening. I don't want to spoil it. And then work secret Santa. Shannon. Your work secret Santa. Yep. Flanders.

Who's my friend Flanders yeah Vanessa Vanessa yeah and that's it that's all you're buying

presents for what are you getting me? wouldn't you like to know I've already got it I've already got it oh my god is it a Deadly Ponies? oh my god

no no what have I done what have I done I knew you had money but oh No, what have I done? I knew you had money, but oh, my God. What have I done? Teddy swims. Shannon swam yesterday.

Oh, nearly. Shannon swims. Shannon swims. Shannon trim. More like Shannon swims. I like that. This is what we need to discuss because yesterday you went for a swim at the beach. Oh, Shannon swims. Shannon swims. Shannon trim. More like Shannon swims. Swims. I like that. This is what we need to discuss because yesterday you went for a swim at the beach.

Yeah, lovely. One of the poopy beaches? We go to the same beach. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about that. Oh, okay. Well, wow. Well, I was going first, that's all. We could time share it.

I'll take this afternoon. Well, you have one end of the beach and then I'll have the other. Do you not want to see her to see you in your bikini? That's exactly it. Do you know Fletch wears a bikini? You look so good in a bikini. It's so bizarre. I've only been to the beach with Fletch once and I was like,

why are you wearing a little top? Not good for the tan lines. Yeah, he just loves the look of a bikini. Yeah, I love it. Flaunts it too. So last time I invite you to the beach. Yeah. But I wasn't at the beach when you were at the beach yesterday. No, I wasunt it too. The last time I invite you to the beach. Yeah. Yeah.

But I wasn't at the beach when you were at the beach yesterday. No, I was enjoying it. But you decided to have a swim. Yeah, I feel like I shouldn't, but I have a real natural arrogance for things I'm not good at. Like I signed a waiver once saying I could ride a bike and I'd never done it before. Never as a child? No, didn't know how to. Do you know now?

Well, I did it, just not well and I fell over a lot I kept leaning as I turned Anyway I just thought Did you grow up around motorbikes? Because you don't lean on a motorbike to make that turn No, I grew up on a country club Oh right

Anyway So I went for a swim And I'm not a strong swimmer at all. Like, I don't know how to do the strokes or anything. I can just go. Oh, my God. Use doggy paddle. Yeah, just go.

And I was like, I want to swim to that buoy. There was a buoy, like, far away, and it was in front of, like, Rangitoto, and I was like, this is great. My friend was there, so I wasn't alone. Well, the buoy was just, what, out there swimming? No, buoy. Buoy. Oh, well, you say buoy. Well, the buoy was just, what, out there swimming? No, buoy. Bui. Oh, well, you say buoy.

Oh, do you? I thought it was buoy. Bui. It's like a buoy. Bui. Okay, well, there was a buoy. A buoy. There was a buoy.

And I was like, I reckon I could swim to that. My friend's like, don't. You don't know how to swim. It always feels... I know the ones you're talking about, too. It feels like I could do that. They're not far away. They're not far. And she had a big, like, don're talking about, too. Feels like I could do that. They're not far away. They're not far.

She had a big, like, don't do it, Hon. You'll get tired, and then I'll have to come get you, and it's cold, I don't want to get in the water. I was like, you're underestimating me. So then I did it, and I got about halfway to it, and I ran out of steam quick. Like, I went hot. Well, you're doggy paddling, which uses significantly more energy.

I started, I was on my back floating and I just kicked really hard. Right. So I was just kind of rocketing across. Like a torpedo. Yeah. It felt fast. But then I got real tired, but I could see her watching me. And I was like, I can't, I can't back down.

I just got to get to the buoy. Yeah. So. Did you get there? Yeah. I'm proud of you. And then I just got to get to the buoy. Yeah. Did you get there? Yeah. I'm proud of you. And then I just was like clinging onto it. This is how we lose people to drowning.

I know. I will say I wouldn't have done this alone. Like for sure. I knew that at a pinch she could get in the water and come save me. But then I was like, uh-oh, got to get back. And I didn't know what to do, so I just kind of floated there for a while and she just had to watch me just clinging to a buoy

in the harbour. Eventually got back, but it took maybe 20 minutes to get back. The irony is that that beach is so shallow you probably just could have stood up. No, I kept, I think that's also what puffed me out, is I kept diving down to see how soon I could touch the bottom. And then I tried doing a handstand and that really puffed me out is I kept diving down to see how soon I could touch the bottom. And then I tried doing a handstand and that really puffed me out.

Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. So I definitely overestimated myself. Vaughn did this once, jumped off a boat thinking he could swim to the shore. It seems a lot closer. And I was just watching him. I used to do this when I was a kid growing up.

Like in Eastbourne, at the beach in Eastbourne, there's Ward Island. I don't know if anyone knows it in the hut. And from the beach you can see it. And we used to always be like, let's swim there's Ward Island. I don't know if anyone knows it in the hut. And from the beach, you can see it. And we used to always be like, let's swim out to Ward Island. It's literally like miles away. You used to just see it and think it was great. And I think my dad tried to do it once, but they couldn't. He was like literally the president of the swim club.

He was a good swimmer and was like, oh, this is actually really far. Yeah, I think I just thought it was a lot smaller than it was. But by the time I got to it, it was like I could barely wrap my arms around it. It was huge, but from the beach it looked like a little floating beach. You've grossly overestimated yourself and I'm proud that you did it. I did it, just

embarrassingly slow, and then this old person was in a wetsuit and they overtook me. Because people were using it to be like a fletch. Yeah, they do lay in. And there was like an old fletch. Yeah, right. Oh, my God.

God, maybe we do need to go to the beach at the same time so I can rescue you when you get into trouble. Yeah, great. This is what we wanted to ask this morning and take some calls on. When did you overestimate your own ability? Yeah. And you bit off more than you could chew.

You thought, I could swim there. I can climb there. It's like my friend who, untrained, did the Great Wall of China marathon. See, I don't know how anyone untrained does even a half marathon. She got dumped by her boyfriend. She wouldn't mind me saying this. He said that she was unmotivated

and lazy. And she's like, I'll show you who flew to China and did the Great Wall of China marathon. How long before she got dumped and did she fly to China to do the marathon? It was tight. Like, enough time for her to enter. But she finished? She crawled. There's photos of her.

And you know how there's steps up and down? She's on all fours. And it took her hours and hours and hours. Marathonracephotos.com and they've got the big watermark and she's like crawling up the green. Like vomiting. But I mean, she finished it. Yeah. Showed him. Yeah.

I love this. I do this often when Aaron's not at home and I'm always like, I can pick that up. Someone dropped off two crates and it had a massive heavy mirror on it. And he was like, didn't he come home? I was like, nubble. And I've got it and it was about to rain and I just like couldn't do it just got rained on

okay 0800 we want to take your calls now you can text her as well 9696 when did you like our lovely Shannon yesterday grossly overestimate

your own abilities when you grossly overestimated your own ability like Shannon did yesterday swimming out to a buoy and we would like to publicly apologise it's pronounced buoy When you grossly overestimated your own ability, like Shannon did yesterday, swimming out to a buoy,

and we would like to publicly apologise. Buoy. It's pronounced buoy. But it's, Americans say buoy. I know. I know we say buoy. We say buoy. But the Google pronunciation...

Is buoy. Buoy. So apologies for that, and apologies to Shannon because we ripped her apart for saying buoy. So you're gendering all... All floating devices in the ocean as boy. Yeah.

Okay, fantastic. Yeah. Some calls in. Ashley, this was your husband, overestimated his abilities? Yes. Last year before our wedding, he decided that he wanted to use his car as our wedding vehicle. Okay.

He had this tiny scratch down the side of it, and he thought, I can fix that. So he spent a little bit of money to get the stuff that he needed to fix it. And, yeah, it didn't turn out well. So how did he fix it? Did he kind of, like, fill in the hole, and then was he trying to, like, sand and buff it out? Yes, so he had to sand it, and so it ended up being over three panels, so we had to take it to someone to fix the week before our wedding.

Yeah. Oh, no. How did that conversation go? Like, was he like, I don't know who did this, but can we get this fixed up? Someone's trying to do a real bad job on this. No, he had to admit that he did it. Oh, my God.

I said, are you sure you can fix this? And he goes, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. I'll talk to someone about it and I'm sure I can do it. Bless. No. Oh, no. Pay the professionals. Get them to do it.

Ashley, thank you. Jo, when did you overestimate your abilities? I thought that I could climb up Mount Terre. Jesus. I've never done that. I've never done that walk, but it looks beautiful. I always see people posting it. Wait, did you try going up there?

No, I actually did make it to the top and... Oh, Jo. Round of applause, Jo. Then you have appropriately estimated your abilities. No, because I got to the top. I left at two and the signpost at the bottom said three hours, and I thought that was a three-hour round trip, not one way. Oh, my God.

You left at two. Right. And I got to the top. And it was beautiful and underestimated how cold it was. And I was just wearing shorts and a jacket and had a drink bottle. Oh, you're that one. You're that one that ends up on the news. Yes. And I decided at that point that it was probably getting a bit late

to go down the bush track because I'd probably get lost in the dark. So I decided to take a road and ended up getting lost in Te Araha. And it's not a very big place at all, but I ended up on the other side of the mountain. Good Lord, Jo. You are the person that ends up on the news. And at the top of the mountain, you've got no cell phone reception, so I had a phone with me that was totally useless.

Yeah. Because I couldn't even let my family know where I was. Yeah, yeah. Of course you couldn't. You're up a mountain. Oh, Joe, that's brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing. A couple of texts to finish.

We've got amazing messages in. I overestimated how smart I was, went to law school, now I'm a tradie. I thought I could easily take my laptop apart to replace the battery. How hard can it be? 20 minutes later, I own a $2,000 brick. Yeah. Yeah, don't do that. I tried to kayak around what looked like a small island,

which turned out to be a very large island. I gave up halfway, had to return to the beach, but the tide had gone out and I had to drag the kayak for miles over mudflats. Oh yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

I can stop sneaking into gyms and households and people's places to have a shower. You stop having a shower at my place. No, I'm still going to do that. I really feel at home in your shower.

Thank you. I've had so many showers there this year. I just really, it's really, it's kind of our shower. Is it, is it? You know what I mean? It's sort of ours. Well, maybe now would be a good time to remind you that when you have a shower at mine

that you should always wash the soap scum down the drain and not just leave it sitting on the bottom of the... I do, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I look at it and I'm like, man, that's soapy. Yeah. And you just leave it and that's fine. Like, it's okay, I'll clean it up.

The last shower I had at yours, I got out of the shower, got dry, got, you know, moisturised in my clothes and I looked back in the shower and there's a shampoo there and I was like, maybe I'll just leave it. Maybe I'll, you know when you're like, a partner sort of like soft moves in. I was like, maybe I'll just leave my shampoo in there. Yeah.

I'll just leave it there. Sure. It's just ready for me whenever I'm here next. Well, today's the day. We can have our first shower in our house since February. February was when our since February. February was when our shower was removed. Then we got a port-a-shower in our driveway. Then we got rid of that because it got too cold and miserable in there

and it didn't drain properly. So you were sort of also having an ankle bath. And a plastic scummy tub. No one likes that. They're really gross. But now that all the sealant's been sealed, the tiles are grouted, the taps, the plumbing's all done yesterday. And so what goes into, what's the final bit?

Today, the shower glass door. Yeah. Got the two bits. Now the door goes in. It'll be going in any moment now. Could be happening as we speak. My God. You'll be able of shower today.

Yeah. Wow. So now I'm like, how do we mark the occasion? There's a few obvious ones. There's a few obvious things we can do to mark the occasion in our first shower. Have a cake in the shower. We've said we're going to do it together because it's a double shower. Yep.

And I said to Aaron, he said, well, do you want to wait till Friday? Because then we'll have power and we can put lights on in the bathroom. I said, wait, there are no lights at the moment. No. That's tomorrow. Right. But I was like, no, because I'm away tomorrow. I'm going to Rotorua for the night.

So I said, no, you can't. You have to wait till Saturday if that's the case. He said, no, we'll do it tomorrow. And then I've got a bottle of champagne. So we have champagne in the shower. Oh, okay. Shower champagne. Shower champagne. Shower champagne.

Okay. Do you have plastic glasses? I don't want you chipping or breaking. Shoot, yeah. Breaking a tile because you drop a slippery glass. I'm going to have to get some plastic cups. Yeah, you are. But then it really takes away from the class of it.

Yeah, but then do you want to break those brand new tiles on the first day? I sort of wanted to sit down. Oh, that's also not flattering on the bod. I said no. Sitting down with the sort of baps sit down. Oh, that's also not flattering on the bod. No. Sitting down with the sort of baps hanging in the lap. Oh, they don't go that low yet. We're going to do champagne in the shower, probably some music. Okay.

What song? What's a good shower song? There'll be a playlist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's a playlist. I'm going to go on the iHeartRadio playlist and see if someone's got one. Energetic kind of music. Would it be energetic?

Working at the car wash. I mean, yeah, Sophie. I'm getting washed. Yeah, it's Sophie. Scrub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub. Well, congratulations. Thank you. This is a really big moment.

I'm so, I've been feral this year. If one word could sum you up this year It is feral Six days was my longest run Without a shower Couple of baby wipes in the key areas Thank you for Thank you for those images

Just know that I am going to be Clean I'm happy for you Now I know I've left you I am going to be clean. Yeah. I'm happy for you. Clay, Zed Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I know I've left you hooked in to find out what I'm talking about. And here it is. I'm going to tease it. Coming up right now, we're going to talk about the 90-day dinner.

Hello. This is about the 90-day dinner. So a 90-day dinner is. So I love that before the show we said we're going to talk about 90 day dinners. This is what it is. And you were like

yep, yep. You've really done a Vaughn here. Yep. This is what Vaughn does. Well I just wanted to bring a little Vaughn energy to the show. We're Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I don't want to completely Vaughn who is an integral part to the trio. Yep. I just want to honour him. But you've done a Vaughn and forgotten something

we talked about a mere two hours ago. Yeah. So I'm Something fun. She's loose and goose. Now, a 90-day dinner. This is something the girlies are doing. And it's been shared on the talk.

You can book in a 90-day dinner with your friends. So she was sharing that if one of her friend group is going through a crisis, a breakup, a change of job, a period of anxiety, just a period of, malaise or just like, oh, what's it all about? They text the group. What is life about, man? What's this life for? To quote the greatest band of all time, Creed. Asterix, not. Asterix, jokes.

Yeah. And they message the group chat and they say, hey, I need to book in a 90 day dinner. And they go, okay, say no more. And they all check the calendars for 90 days out, three months time, and they book in a dinner. And the point of it is to gain perspective on what is happening at that time in your life. And to go, okay, well, in 90 days, we can have this dinner. We can check in and be like, so that thing you were going through at the time, how are you feeling about it now?

And I was like, this is nice to go a bit of time, a bit of distance from it. Put that into perspective. And you'll be like, oh, that was nothing. I'm going to get through these 90 days and then I can reflect on this thing and be like, maybe it was actually all okay and it doesn't seem as big. Whereas I would just want that 90 day dinner within the next 90 minutes. I'm just saying, I'm like, hey, I'm in crisis. Meet me now. Yeah, we're going to get absolutely shit-faced.

We're going to get shit-faced. We're going to cry. We'll wake up and then just move on. Yeah, exactly. But, Shannon, is this something that you guys would be into as a pack of girlies? Yeah, I definitely think this is something I'm going to implement because I feel like my entire friendship group at the moment

are going through some different life stages. Yeah, right. Mid-20s. And I think that this would be good. Especially after, like, 90 days would be, like, after Christmas at this point. Yeah. Yeah, and it's nice.

Like, if you don't have any holidays coming up or something to not really look forward to at the moment, you can kind of treat it like that. Like, I'd be like, oh, my goodness, besties, we're going to this great place. And then you could spend the next 90 days being like, what are we going to wear? Yes, I find it hard because I go out

like literally multiple times a week. Do you know what I mean? Because I'm so social. I crave social interaction. I guess also it's like the idea as well in your head that if you're feeling sad today, you can be like, okay, well, I know that in 90 days I'm going to reflect back on this with my friends.

We're going to have a wine and it's going to be fine. Time heals all wounds. Yeah. Everything's better with a little bit of space and perspective. Plus, sometimes it's really hard to like everyone align their schedule. So like 90 days is actually a pretty normal period to wait until you're able to see your actual friends, you know? Yeah, definitely some friends you're like, we need to, I calendar some friends. And other friends I'm like

we'll just it'll just happen but what if in 90 days wait which friends are you calendaring I don't calendar you thank you because you factor

into my day to day life yeah thank you chances are within a fortnight we'll have a night out yeah with my other friends

who perhaps don't live in town or something they get calendared yeah but what if in 90 days everything's so much worse and it's actually oh yeah With my other friends who perhaps don't live in town or something. Calendar friends. They get calendared. But what if in 90 days everything's so much worse? Oh, yeah.

Then I guess it's the time to be like, what do we do about this? Yeah, right. And you could just book another one. This could just be the rest of your life now. 90 days, but you can only do four a year, can't you? Yeah, just four a year for the rest of your life. Oh, God. Problem solved.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. This week, Vaughan is on his Disney cruise. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. This week, Vaughan is on his Disney cruise. He left us and set up Fact of the Day all this week to be about poop. Poops. And so I guess we're running with that.

I guess we are. Facts about poop. Now, I wanted to share something that's very dear to my heart. I've spent a lot of time looking at the types of poop because, you know, I've got irritable bowel syndrome. And they use a chart called the Bristol Stool Chart or the Bristol Stool Scale. You may have heard of this if you've dealt with stomach issues before

or intestinal poop. So there are seven types. That's the thing. There's seven types of poop and all of your poops fall within one type. The names of each type is type 1, type 2, type 3, type 4. So was this made in Bristol? No, I think it was made by someone called... Susie Bristol.

Oh, no, sorry. University of Bristol made this. It was created by a man called Ken Heaton. And that's why it's called the Bristol stool chart. So if you're in hospital or you've got problems, the doctor gives you the chart and they're like, it's one of these. Which one?

Yeah, so you're either type 1 through to type 7. And ideally, you want to be anywhere between type 3 and type 4. Okay, type 1 looks like when you're out on, you know when you're just on a hike and you see rabbit or goat droppings? Type 1 is like... Or cat biscuits. Type 1 was like my go-to for a couple of years. I was type 1, baby.

Described as separate hard lumps like nuts. Hard to pass. Hard to pass. That's why I've got irritable bowel syndrome dash C, which means constipation. Wait, which is the best kind of one to have? Four. Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft.

So type two, so type one is your little nuggies, your dry, hard nuggies. Yep. Type two is a sausage shape, but it's lumpy, so it's all your nuggies have kind of come together a little bit. Looks like, hey, what I would describe as, is it a, what bar is it? What chocolate bar is it?

A picnic. It's a picnic. It's a picnic.? What chocolate bar is it? A picnic. It's a picnic. It's a picnic. It looks like you've squeezed out a picnic. Yeah. Type three, like a sausage, but with cracks on the surface. Actually, maybe that one is more like a picnic. No, I'd say type two.

Picnics are very lumpy. I would say type three looks more like a bounty. You know, it's covered, but it's got the ripples in it. Okay. Type four, which is your perfect poop. You know when you wipe and you're like, what? Sorry? Like a sausage or snake, smooth and

soft. I'll say that's like a sausage. That's like a beautiful pre-cooked sausage as well, smooth skin. Right, that's the one that you need. That's a good one. That's a good healthy gut, good amount of fibre and hydration. Type five, soft blobs with clear cut edges. So you're back to your blobs, but they're raggedy.

Yep. Type six is fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool. And type seven is your water. No solid pieces, entirely liquid. Yeah, that's when you've had some barley, barley belly. Barley belly. Now, I would say I've experienced each of these poos in my life. Yeah.

Probably all of us have, but the worrying thing is if it's consistent. Yeah, right. If you're constantly doing a one or a seven when you want to be doing a three or a four. Bad news. Now, apparently poop should not sink. No, poop should sink and not float. So if you're floating, is that too much fat? Bad nutrition absorption or

excessive gas. So if you want to know if your poop is healthy or not, Google the Bristol stool scale and you want to be somewhere between a 3 and a 4. And if not, you can look into it. So today's fact of the day is

there are, according to the Bristol Stall Scale, seven types of poop. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The impossible phone-in topic, a topic we think is going to be hard to get calls on. Although I don't know about this one. Yeah, I feel like we might be okay here,

but it's definitely the difficult phone-in because we're not just going to take any old celebrity tattoo that's like a nod to a celeb or a lyric from a celeb. What about a character of a celeb in a movie? I won't take it. You won't take it? I won't take it. Well, the reason we asked

is because Post Malone performed in Auckland Night Before Last. Yeah. And apparently it was amazing. She saw someone urinating in the crowd. in Auckland night before last. Yeah. And apparently it was amazing. Yeah, Georgia, she saw someone urinating in the crowd. Where?

Just on the floor? And yeah, we talked about this yesterday when you were sick. Oh. I know. Yeah. Yuck.

Peeing on someone's back. Yeah. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah, I know. Do you know what? You wouldn't even know. We went to two concerts last week.

You wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know. I'm so sweaty. I'm dripping in sweat. Yeah, I know. You're crowded what? You wouldn't even know. We went to two concerts last week. You wouldn't even know. I'm so sweaty. I'm dripping in sweat. Yeah, I know. You're crowded by people. The floor's wet. Yeah. If you see me in a crowd, please don't piss on me.

A fan has got Post Malone tattooed on him. Yeah, so he has a massive, I'm talking whole shoulder blades, whole back ribs down to almost the small of his back, of Post Malone gripping a mic, all of his tattoos. I'm going to say it's a 5 out of 10. You don't like it? It's not a good tattoo. I apologise.

Shots fired. I apologise. Shots fired. For me, it's lacking a lot of detail. You're telling me it's a good portrait? That would have hurt. I don't have a single tattoo. I know you just got tattooed the other day.

Yeah, I did. Not that size. That would have hurt. I like that. I like it. Yeah, it's definitely Post Malone, but I just think it's far out. It's a lot. Anyway, so at the Post Malone concert, he then got Post Malone to sign his back.

Like, he went up and Post Malone was like, oh, my God, sign his back. And then he got the signature tattooed as well. So our impossible or near impossible phoner is, do you have a celebrity portrait tattoo? Yeah. So not a character, not bloody Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker or something like that.

Because we've seen lots of those. But do you have a celebrity tattooed on you? A portrait of a celebrity. No, but what if it's a small, a portrait can be small. Yeah, portraits can be small, but just like it's a picture of them. Because, man, you've got to love someone to do that. Like, Queen's my favourite band. I've got a Queen tattoo, but it's suggestive, you know, it's music.

Or you get like a celebrity and then they get cancelled. Oh my God, yeah. Like, Queen's my favourite band. I've got a Queen tattoo, but it's suggestive, you know. It's music. Or you get, like, a celebrity and then they get cancelled. Oh, my God, yeah. Like, you know. Because I used to be a huge fan of Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, and my back hurts. It's really... But you're a fan of the guy. He's got a face for a tattoo.

I need to get the amount of laser it has taken me to get rid of my Weinstein tattoo. And that was after you got rid of the Michael Jackson tattoo. Oh, my God. That was on top of a scar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was on top of my Bill Crosby tattoo. I mean, I just can't quite get it right.

No. So we want to know, do you have a celebrity, a celebrity's face tattooed on you somewhere? Yeah. 0800 dials it in. How big? Is it good? Have you shown the celebrity? Want to know all about it. Yeah. 0800DARLS.N How big? Is it good?

Have you shown the celebrity? Want to know all about it? Yeah. Give us a call. 0800DARLS.N You can text her as well. 9696. The impossible phone and topic. Do you have a celebrity

tattooed on you? A man has a full Post Malone back tattoo which has come to light after Post Malone's concert this week in Auckland. Yeah, and then you've got the signature added to it, Chef's Kiss. So we asked you if you've got the face or a portrait of a celeb.

Plenty of them. I've got Eminem, the portrait on my forearm. It's big and it's done well. Oh, you're good. Okay. Now, look, Eminem's had some controversy, but I'm a big Eminem fan. He's a lyrical genius. Yeah.

I love it. My friend has a portrait of Killian Murphy on her leg. That got Georgia going, didn't it? Yeah, she was like, when he smokes a cigarette, I'm picky blinders. And she started like, she was like flicking like that. And I was like, whoa, we had to get her out of the studio. My friend Margaret has a full Jim Morrison from the door back. I need to know how old Margaret is.

It's pretty big. A lot of her back. Unfortunately. Sorry. I'm sorry. No. I should have read this and I really apologize. She got a melanoma right in the middle of his face.

I'm not laughing. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. I don't mean to laugh. It's absolutely terrible. We're not laughing at the melanoma, but what does she do about the face? I'm just thinking about the face. What does she do about the face? I'm really sorry to hear that Margot got a melanoma in the middle of a Jim Morrison tattoo.

Moving along. Does it look like now he's got like a spot on his nose or something? No, it doesn't look like that anymore. Oh, no. Moving along. R.A.P. Margot. This is why we... Oh, you didn't tell me Mar... I know!

I'm reading it live. Jesus, Hayley! That was a real plot twist. That was a real plot twist. That was a real plot twist. Well, this person texts in. My goodness. R.I.P. Margaret. R.I.P. Margaret and the Jim Morrison. And the Jim Morrison.

But that's the thing when you get a tat. Where is the best place to get it where, like, you don't get? Because people that get them on their abs when they're, like, in their 20s. I'm sure my best friend doesn't mind me saying this. My bestie got a tattoo when she was 16. It was an H and I've got the J now but I got it much later in life once my body had already stretched. She got hers at 16

and then she had a baby. What does it look like? Does it look like an H? It certainly doesn't look like an H anymore. Okay. Gotta be careful. Someone texted me they've got a Billie Eilish on her leg. Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley. They've got those.

A couple of classics. My dad also has a perfect tattoo of Elvis Presley on stage with a microphone that covers his whole thigh. I have a Mac Miller tattoo. Got it the week he passed. R.I.P. R.I.P. Mac and Margaret. My bestie has Johnny Depp and Bowie.

And they've actually won awards at Tattoo Expos. So they'll be those real, like, real life ones. My husband has Jim Morrison as the Lizard King. What do you mean? Jim Morrison as the Lizard King. When he had it done the next morning, Jim's face had transferred onto the sheets. Brilliant.

There you go. That's not coming out of the sheets, is it? Yeah, it's not at all. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy.

I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.