ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th January 2024

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Declined Baby Names  Top 6: Luxon  Silly Little Poll!  Morgan Penn!  Hayley's Gym Footwear  What are you still bad at?Hayley's Side Effect  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. You're a bit snotty today. I know I've been heavy on the tissue box in the studio and I will supply the next box.

And I tell you what, I'll go quality. I need a bit too much. I'm going to go so thick you can barely fold it in half. Because I'm happy to share my tissues. I know. It really doesn't seem like you are. It feels like he's not. It feels like you are not. She's always using them. Have you noticed? She's always

using them and I haven't been using them. Oh, good morning, New Zealand. Okay, here, have a tissue. Thank you, I have another one. Have another one, we don't need that. He does buy quality. Let me count the ply. I don't know what this ply is.

Oh, hang on, it's 190 sheets of three ply. Yeah, it is, it is. Because then you only need to pull one tissue. You don't need to pull two or three. Well, what if I peeled this apart, now I've got three tissues? No, you'll blow right through those. Really, you'll blow right through those with your

snores. Don't comment on my snot. I've got good snot. That's good snot. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six. This is quite fun. Do you have a top six? Yeah. You've decided on this? Yeah, I've written it. This is fantastic. Because this was decided on before you got

to work and I was like, what? He's already done work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. I did it last night. Well, it turns out that our dear Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has been used to... Luxton, I think. I can't remember. Christopher? I think it's Christopher Luxton. And you put the T in the surname. Yes, you take the T from...

Usually people are called Christopher, but he's called Christopher. I remember it because there was a T in the last Prime Minister, Jacinta. Jacinta. So there's a T in the new one, but it's in the last one. Lucston. Lucston. He has been used online to promote a pornographic website. He sure has.

It's like my favourite porno site. And there's a picture of him in national font and national blue. This is, I believe, I've never been there or heard of it or used it, but Pornhub? Pornhub. Pornhub, I believe, is the website. Right. Do you know about that?

Yes, I do. Do you? Oh, it's wonderful. It's wonderful. Wow, okay. Send me some links. His image is popped up there. I always wonder why there is a share link on Pornhub.

I'm not close enough to anybody to be like, boy, did I just absolutely smack it to this one. And I think you might also enjoy smacking it to this one. Yeah, that's so weird, isn't it? Yeah. So his image is on Pornhub saying my favourite porn websites. Ooh, that's a boner killer, isn't it? It's quite funny.

It's quite funny. It has killed a boner. I think it's very funny. And the funniest part was him being like, no, that's not, I didn't, no. He was like, we're not doing it. Do they know? Do they know? Do they know?

So the top sex. The top sex is Christopher Luxon's actual favourite porn websites. I've done some digging. Okay. This is why I had to do it at home. Of course, off the internet Wi-Fi. Yeah. Off the internet Wi-Fi, I just called it.

Yeah, good one, boomer. Couldn't do it on this here internet Wi-Fi. Next on the show. I love these lists. These are the declined baby names for 2023. This is in New Zealand. It's the wrap up. The names they said no to.

Yeah, one of them's real funny. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. One of them's real funny Well we're getting sort of the wrap up of 2023, a lot of lists coming out the most this, the least that, the biggest this the smallest that and baby names is always one I enjoy

Apparently last year top boy names were Noah and Oliver Feels like it's been that for a long time Apparently last year, top boy names were Noah and Oliver. Noah and Oliver. God, it feels like it's been that for a long time. Oliver's been up there for a long time. Noah, Oliver, Luca, Jack, Leo, Theodore, George, Henry, Charlie, Hudson. They've got a vibe.

But teachers are going to be like, Oliver, and there'll be 10 of them. Yes. Yeah, you've got your Arlos and all that kind of stuff. What's the home security system? On the girl, I don't know. And on the girls, it's Charlotte and Amelia are the top two. Amelia, Charlotte. Yeah, they're kind of classics coming back. Soft sort of romantic.

Is that because of Princess Charlotte? Is that a Princess Charlotte? I think they saw a little bit of a boost after old Charlie. Isla, Olivia, Harper, Willow, Lily, Ava, Ella. Where did Amelia come from? Because, you know, is there a celebrity? Amelia in Paris. Amelia.

Oh, that's Emily in Paris, darling. Oh, that's Emily in Paris. Close, though. Emily's not even on the list. What was the 100th? Piper. There's my niece. So I also have the declined names,

the names that you're actually not allowed to call your kid. Okay. And these are sort of similar, like each year, because usually they're titles and you technically can't call them that. People don't know, do they? Now, King has been at the top of the list for years. Yeah. King comes in at number four this time.

Oh. Yeah. Can I have a guess? Please, sir. Justice? Justice is number 22. There's lots of different spellings of justice. Yeah, they try to get around it.

Prince? Number one, baby. Is it? Yeah. So Prince was declined in New Zealand five times last year. People think, well, there was the singer Prince, so it must be allowed? Also, isn't Michael Jackson's son called Prince?

Yeah, but in different roles in different countries. Different roles in different countries. Ill. What? I, capital I, LL. So it just looks like boom, boom, boom. Or do you think it's just three? It's either Roman numerals or it's a capital I and two lowercase Ls.

Ill. What? So the top five was major in fifth, king in fourth, ill in three. Bishop was the second and prince was first of declined names. But you've got like variations. You've got princess, messiah, rogue, royal, sovereign. You don't like Rogue? Rogue was declined twice.

Rogue and Bishop, a couple of key members of the X-Men team declined for naming there. I will say there's some crazy choices. 17th, Fanny, that got declined. Why did you decline? I know, it's quite a classic name, but I think you're just saving the kid. Fanny Sproul. Oh, Jesus. What does Fanny short for?

Pardon? Because I always feel like Fanny would have been, you know how... Now, Franny was short for like Francesca or Frances or whatever Francine. Yeah, but Fanny, I feel like, you know how like, is it Betty is a short, Peggy is short for Margaret, which is a weird... What? How did you get that? I know. There's a male version of that where, like, John is...

What is that? Jack? As in Jack? No, well, there's Dick and Richard. Yeah, there's that one. No, there's one where they call them something and it's something else. Right. Oh, like, my friend's James and we call him Jimmy.

And Jimmy's are often Jameses. Right. But they should be Jim's, right? Yeah, I know. That's weird. Fanny is short for Stephanie. Oh, of course, Stephanie. Fanny can be drawn from Stephanie.

So if you wanted to call your kid Fanny, call them Stephanie and then they can be Steph like a normal person or they could be Fanny if they wanted to. And then they're certainly not going to love that name when they're a teenager or ever. Yeah, we've got to shout out some other ones that were declined.

17th was Fanny. Just under that was Isis. Now, who's doing that? Which was traditionally an Egyptian god. Or flower god. Yeah, something like that. Ibis is the bird. Is that really yucky?

And it's also a hotel chain. Yes. I love an Ibis stay. Notoriety, Pope is on the list. Prince, spout P-R-Y-N-C-E with a little accent on it. Oh, my God. Prince A. Prince A.

Prince C. Saint Lavosierja Sovereign Cash and XIX Wow, I'll say it some people shouldn't have children I'll say it, I'll second that you've got to live with this your whole life you know, I'm happy

with Hayley, as is every other girl that was born in the late 80s and early 90s also called Hayley messaged in saying this is all very well and good yet out there there's someone with the name This is every other girl that was born in the late 80s and early 90s. Also called Hayley. It's also called Hayley. Messaged in saying, this is all very well and good, yet out there there's someone with the name Boom Shakalaka. Yeah, well, in Australia, methamphetamine rules was also passed.

That was exciting, wasn't it? So that journalist has said that she's changed her baby's name back to something more. I know, but it was accepted. It was accepted. And I remember I always bring this up, but I did go to school at the same time as a guy who went to a school down the

road from me called Heine Rash. Is that German? No. He was Chinese and I'm probably pronouncing it wrong but on paper, straight up it looked like Heine Rash. Shout out to Heine Rash if you're listening. It's been years.

It's been years. Well, a man has been spotted Okay. Shout out to Honey Rash if you're listening. It's been years. It's been. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a man has been spotted with a different kind of carry-on on a long-haul flight from Australia to Tokyo. What do you take, a backpack? Three options. I've got a fabric tote bag. Yeah. Flimsy, limsy though.

Flimsy, limsy though. Flimsy, but you can stuff it in the seat or under the seat and you can just chuck a sweater in there, maybe some headphones, a charger, and that's it. Yeah. Or my backpack. Which you can take a bit more. You can take a bit more. And then I've got a real take the piss backpack slash big bag.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely, but only stuffed with seven kgs of goods. I'd never go over seven kgs. Oh my God, no, neither. I wouldn't even dream of it. I can wear it on my back like a backpack, but it's huge. Is Jetstar still charging?

I don't know. You know when Jetstar got into the habit of weighing all your bags, you carry on? I got stung once. Yeah. I don't know. Whereas in New Zealand, we're doing that thing where you sit on? I got stung once. Yeah. I don't know. Whereas in New Zealand, we're doing that thing where you sit on the scales.

They were like doing a random. And I told them to F off. They were doing a random trial. And they said, oh, you won't see the number. And I said, you will and you can F off. But you can, but I think they're pretty loose with it. So I think you get away with it. Fast and loose.

You get away with it. But a man has been spotted travelling from Australia and he went viral because of a TikTok. He is using, and I will preface this by saying, it is very naughty. Oh, is it naughty? And that you should not steal a supermarket basket. But he has been seen using a supermarket chain

from Australia's shopping basket. Shopping basket. Little basket. And he puts his passport in it, puts his headphones, all of his stuff, and then he puts it in the overhead locker. All your stuff would tottle out

when it kind of, because when you lock it up, it goes back on an angle. And it could fall over. Does he put like a cloth over the top? No, he doesn't. He doesn't, no. That's fast and loose, man.

Half trolley would make more sense. Half trolley's are amazing. Half trolley's is like premier. One of the greatest advancements in supermarket technology. Half trolley would never get in an overhead bin, so it's not happening.

Maybe they could pop it in the galley for you. I don't even know if it could get down an aisle of some planes. Touch and go. You'd kind of have to carry it. No, I couldn't. You'd have to lift it up. Two people would have to carry it over the seats.

Yeah, and that's a dick move. What if they've considered a slightly thinner half trolley? For a plane. Almost the width of the bar cart. Or those little, you know, those kids ones you get at Mitre 10? Yeah. Those are real cute. I think it's still too wide.

Think about the bar cart that comes down the middle. The trolley at the top. Yeah. Sort of the mullet of trolleys. This is sort of an interesting choice, but I definitely get it. You're saying you wouldn't do it unless it had a lid. Yeah. Because you can buy a lot of, like, baskets.

I think some of the supermarkets were selling, like, Sistema went into baskets because I think people were stealing them. But we had ours, I just pulled it out of the jar here. Did you see that? Yeah, I did.

God, good Lord. That's not good, is it? Okay, we'll just chuck that on the ground. She needs a bit more sleep. We have a basket in our garage and one of the tradies just left it there. And we were like, what's this basket?

Oh my God, so handy. So handy, yeah. So when you're working on a little job, you go down to the garage and you sort of fill it up with the things that you'll need and then you carry that with you rather than sort of having all this loose stuff

and then you take it back. Yeah. I'll never get rid of it. And I haven't actually considered using it for travel, but perhaps now I shall. It's an idea. Easy access. Yeah.

621, next on the show, the top six. Yeah, Christopher Luxon's top six favourite porn websites. His image is being used on a well-known site. And he has come out and said he's denying it. He's denying it's him. Well-known site, but it's the first time I've heard of it. We'll learn more about it next. Play ZM's Fletchvorne and Ailey.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. I mean, in the age of AI and deep fake videos, it's very hard to tell what's real and what's fake. But it's pretty funny that all it took was a photo from his billboard campaign for the election last year and white writing on a blue background that says,

my favourite porno site's chrisluxin.org. Crazy. Is that actually a website? I just, I didn't even... Oh, my God. Please tell me they've registered that to a naughty site. We won't be able to. Go on it.

My favourite porn sites. Oh. My favourite hookup sites too. Hello, kia ora, fellow New Zealanders. This is Chris Luxon. See, somebody has made a website. Hello, kia ora. Somebody has made a website.

Today, I am proud to announce my favourite porn sites to help you relax, cheers and enjoy. Proud to announce is such a funny way of saying, here's what I like to watch. Yeah. I am proud to announce. And so, obviously, he has denied having anything to do with this. You would, wouldn't you? You would, though. You bloody would. You would. It's pretty funny.

It's pretty funny. You know in the National when they write National there's the four stars that represent the four stars. They've even put that on the top of the H on Chris Lux's name. It's a bloody Southern Cross. They're going to obviously take legal action to get this taken down, right? Why would you bother? Why just be like that?

Because you don't want to draw much, I don't think you want to draw publicity to it. Because then people are going to want to know his top six actual favourites. Yeah, they'll be like,

how, yeah, you can imagine. Tova's going to be asking, won't she? She'll be in there. Yeah. Then Jessica. And then Jessica.

And then Jason, then back to Jessica. I've got Christopher Luxen's top six favorite pornographic websites. Okay. How did you manage to find those? I asked him. Oh, okay. Lovely.

Number six on the list is www.ceo.com. How many O's? O. Oh, and there's a W at the end. No. C-E-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O.com. Right, okay. C-E-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O.

Okay. Number five on the list of the top six favorite pornography websites of our Prime Minister, Christopher Luxon, BBC.org. Do you know what that stands for? Yeah, British Broadcasting Corporation. No, no, no. In the adult world, big bald CEOs. Not what I thought you were going to say.

Yeah. Yeah. I got quite nervous. Are we all going to say our keywords? Everyone say your keywords on three. One, two, three. Did you see the formation of my first letter? Yeah, I did.

Is that M? No. Okay. Number four on the list of Christopher Luxton's top four favourite porn websites. Also, we just had BBC.org. The next one, BBC.co.nz. Do you know what that stands for? No.

Big, bald Christians. Oh, okay. Hot stuff. Christians and CEOs. I will say those aren't in my keywords. Aren't they? I will say it. Big?

Maybe. Number three on the list of Christopher Lux and Sopsics, our favourite porn websites. You know how he was in charge of an airline? Yeah. So he's after a little bit of airline. Airlingus.co.ir. It's an Irish airline-based porn website.

Okay. And it just has photos of planes. Yeah. Naked planes. Naked planes with all their libased porn website. Okay. And it just has photos of planes. Yeah. Naked planes. Naked planes with all their livery taken off. Yeah. Stripped back. Stripped right back.

Yeah. Good stuff. See your bloody fuselage. Uncut. That's the thing. Uncut fuselage. Take the livery off. It makes your fuselage look bigger.

Whoa. Yeah. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six favourite porn sites of our Prime Minister, Christopher Luxon, are Porgs.com. P-A-W-G-S. Oh, what's that?

No. Powerful arms on white girls. Have you seen his wife's guns? Jesus. Have I watched? She needs to release her arm workout. The arm workout. Yeah. The guns on that, she never not skip the arm workout. The arm workout. Yeah.

The guns on that, she never skips arm day. I will say she's naturally quite sinewy. I've got arms like that, but they're hidden under other stuff. Do you know what I mean? A few layers on them. A few layers. Yeah. Okay.

Very powerful arms. Maybe you could both release like a workout. Yeah. Arm workout. Series, an arm workout series. You could get her secrets. Yeah, I could actually she's got big bow flex energy

doesn't she she's got a bow flex in the garage it's bow flex remember the bow flex yeah I remember the bow flex yeah okay

I think she's got big bow flex energy I remember it's gotta be more than that and number one on the list of the top six favourite porn websites according to chrisluxin.org

and in my own personal research it's Pornhub it's everybody's favourite isn't it isn't that where the ad is it's on Pornhub. It's everybody's favourite, isn't it? Isn't that where the ad is? It's on Pornhub. Yeah. He's also at chrisluxin.org got my favourite hookup sites.

Oh, yeah, okay. Is he hooking up, is he? My favourite Premiere porn sites and my favourite cam sites. Goodness me. And my favourite free OnlyFans sites. I don't know anyone who's doing free OnlyFans. What's the point? Yeah. Maybe it's like in-appans. What's the point? Yeah.

Maybe it's like in-app purchases. You know when you download a game for your phone and it's like free game and then you're like, this is fun and then, oh, I need to be spending money to make this work. Yeah. Maybe it's a bit like that.

Maybe. That is today's satirical. Of course. Good to clarify, though. Of course. Top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Good to clarify, though. Of course. Top six. There was a girlie on TikTok who has shared kind of a list. Yeah.

I'm talking about a different girlie. I quite like this list. Oh, okay. But God, there's plenty of the ones that share too much. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Women in general. Shh.

I jest. Now, she shared, she sort of worked out a way of identifying yourself as a particular type of bird, as in like, ah. Yeah. Based on how you behave at a party.

Right. Everyone at a party is one type of bird. I would say I'm a ketidu. I get drunk on the berries and then I'm just like... And then you flap away. And then I flap away. Now you're too quiet

when you leave to be a ketidu because you always hear them leaving. Yeah, I ghost. Yeah. And you're keeping it trim. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? No, you're not a ketidu.

Well, there's sort of more umbrella terms. She's not from New Zealand. Yeah. So not as specific as a, you're not a kerero. Well, they're sort of more umbrella terms. She's not from New Zealand. Yeah. So not as specific as a, you know, pootiki-tiki. Okay. I want to be a more poor.

Okay. Is an owl on the list? So an owl is on the list. And if you are an owl, you are motherly and wise, always helping the drunk all night. That's not you. No, I'm quiet and I eat and then I'll disappear. Okay, let me see if we can identify ourselves.

A hawk, if you are a hawk, you are constantly hunting for a better party. I've been guilty of this before. You're never happy. No, you're just like, this sucks. Let's go get a different vibe. I need to go out. Let's go do something else. If you're a hummingbird, you're constantly telling everyone that you love them.

Like you're buzzing around. You know how hummingbirds like hover and buzz around in people's ears. Sounds like they must have drank or eaten something in the bird bath. Yeah, I think they've had a little something from the bird bath. If you're a peacock, it says brand, status, friends, photographers. I don't understand that. I'm too old. Pigeon, which I will put the kereru under.

Yeah. Last one standing, end of the night, always stealing something. No, I'm not end of the night. I'm not end of the night either. I tried it. I think I am. Yeah. And then I just derail it.

You're not, no. By being that girl. Yeah. Owl, we've been over. Motherland wise, always helping the drunk all night. Parrot, ready to repeat the hot goss. That's a bit of you I think you might

Parrot's the closest to you Fletch Bit of a goss No but Vaughn's more of a goss than me Vaughn loves a goss Vaughn loves a goss I'm a trusted confidant Okay I reckon you've told me anything and everything

Everyone's ever told you ever Probably Okay if you're a duck Frantic and always quacking about a guy. At a party. Okay, right. If you're a flamingo, you're the it girl. Here I am.

Oh, you're a flamingo, are you? I think I'm probably the flamingo, the it girl. Are you just choosing the best one on the list? We'll probably end up in the pool. Yeah, that's you. Oh, yeah, I could fall into the pool. If you're a penguin, you're with your boyfriend all night, we'll get cold and go home

because they mate for life penguins are like not me, not you and the final one is if you're a seagull you're constantly snacking and drinking from the bottle we're all seagulls we're a flock of seagulls sometimes I'll put one leg up and everyone will be like oh my god give him another

RTD or another drink he's only got one leg. And then I put it down, and they're like, wait, I think you've got two legs. And constantly snacking. I mean, those cheese balls are getting obliterated. Absolutely. The cheese board, any snacks. Yeah.

Because you've got to eat while you drink. We've learnt this. We've learnt this. And I want to say we've learnt it rather the hard way. We have. But we have learnt it. You've got to snack. Okay, we're a flock of seagulls. I feel like there needed to be a bird on the list

for that person that gets way too drunk and obnoxious at a party. Why are you putting your hand towards me? I didn't point towards you. It was very good body language and gesture. He literally went, rotate, rotate, rotate, rotate, rotate, deliver to spray point.

No, I love drinking and partying with you. You're not that person. No, I don't become a belligerent drunk I often cross the line I feel like they've missed a few birds off the list We could add a few Feel free to add your own birds But I think the closest we are on this

Is the eating and drinking from the bottle Seagull. Listen up. I'm listening. Fools. Fuck it all my way. Silly little phone. Silly little phone. Listener. I'm listening. Fools. Fuck it all my way. For $10,000, would you give up your phone for a month? I read the results of this and I was like, you say that.

But the thing, it's not, it would have to be taken and put in a box. Yeah. Because your muscle memory is just like. Some people buy those digital lock boxes with timers. They only let their phones out for a certain time of the day. So you'd just do a month. So this is an Icelandic yoghurt company that are doing this as a promotion. They're saying, we'll give somebody $10,000,

but you've got to give up your phone. The only thing is for a month it's kind of dangerous. Do you know what I mean? You're stuck, you're in trouble. I think I could do a dumb phone for a month.

Easy. Same. Whereas you just have text and calls and then if people need to contact you they can. Yeah, you'd have to have

some means of being reached. Oh my God, I'd have to buy a MacBook to get around if I was driving somewhere. Just free ball it. Free ball it. I thought you said MacBook and I had an image of you just constantly around with your laptop to your ear like a phone.

But the MacBook, yeah, I would be lost without Maps. So the results are in. Would you give up your phone for a month for $10,000? 89% of people said yes. 11% said no way. Really? I think people are so addicted to their phones, it's struggle. This is what I mean.

They say they do it, but if they went to actually have to do it, it would be harder. You don't need a MacBook. You just need to Google where to go and print off the instructions before you go. Oh, my God. Or get your mum to do it and talk to you on the phone. Oh, far out.

You don't have a phone. You don't have a phone. Brianne said, I said yes as long as I can use a computer or at least ask someone to Google things for me. That would be the hardest part for me. You can still use a computer, right? So you're just going on Instagram on your laptop? Yeah.

Easy. Yeah, I could do it. $10,000 is $10,000. That's easy money, baby. That's what James says. Steph said, hell yes. One, it would lessen the opportunities to shop online or use my Apple wallet, and no one would be able to contact me.

The dream. So if you know Steph, just leave her alone. She's had enough of you. She wants a break, man. I get $10,000 and I get to get rid of my number one source of anxiety? Sign me up. I can always listen to FVHZM on iHeartRadio on my laptop. Cat.

Company woman. Yeah. Did she actually do it? That's incredible. Yeah, she knows. It was for free. She's toeing the company line and she's not even a company woman. Oh, no.

Very good point. I love it. Lisa. Grumpy Lisa? You know it. Hell no. I'd honestly be lost without my phone. Oh, wow.

I don't want to make her any more grumpy. How can she be grumpy? That's what I'm wondering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to make her any more grumpy. How can she be grumpy, you know? That's what I'm wondering. How is she going to get this, vent her grumpiness without her phone? Snap streaks can't be lost. So no, says Charlie. Charlie is my 11-year-old daughter who is just obsessed with snap streaks. Well, I don't even know what that is.

It's when you Snapchat somebody back and forth at least once a day, every day. And then you start a streak. And then you start a streak. And then you Snapchat. You've got to keep those streaks. Are you offering? Because I will post my phone to you right now, says Amber. Yeah.

Sorry, but no, we're not offering. No, we're not. I'd do it for $20,000. I don't think $10,000 gets you very far in this cost of living crisis, says Ashley. This is not a negotiation, Ashley. Wow. We're not entering the negotiation period. She's playing hardball.

She is. I like that, though. Yeah, she's like, if you're going to give me $10, why not give me $20? Throw a $10 around, is he, PZ? Call it $15, I reckon. Yeah. $17.50, says Ashley, on her behalf. I'm taking a cut now.

That is today's Silly Little Pond. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Then we kick it off tomorrow, Taylor Thursdays. It's your last chance to win tickets to see Taylor Swift. Make sure you're listening from 6am. Every Taylor Swift song we play before 5.30 gives you the chance to go in the draw with Brianne Clint to see her live in Australia on the Airers Tour.

Flights, tickets, accommodation. I think you call that the whole shebang. The whole shebang. Is that what we call that? That's the definition of the whole shebang. The whole shebang. Is that what we call that? That's the definition of the whole shebang. The whole shebang. She bangs, she bangs. Tomorrow, she moves. 6am, make sure you're listening. Can we give you a winning ticket

to Ricky Martin? No. What's Ricky up to? Tell you what, if Ricky Martin came to New Zealand, I'd bloody go. I'd absolutely go. Stunt silence. I was like, I guess I'd bloody go. I'd absolutely go. Stunt silence. I was like, I guess I'm going on my own then, all right. You're going on your own then.

You guys are not Living La Vida Loca, and it's really upsetting to watch. Just stand by. You know, I listened to a bit about a podcast about the guy who wrote Living La Vida Loca for Ricky Martin. He wrote it specifically for Ricky Martin. Were you saying Ricky Martin doesn't write his own music? Oh my God. Surprise, surprise.

And when they presented it to the music label, they were like, too much Spanish. They were like, literally one word. Living La Vida Loca is the only Spanish in the entire song. And they're like, it feels like there's more. The rest of it's set in New York City. And they're like, what does it even mean? Living the crazy life. What does it even mean? Living the crazy life. What does it even mean? Living the

crazy life. And then they were like, ah, give it Spanish. Is a very popular term. We digest. Budgeting. Digress. We digress. Digest? Well, I'm digesting at the moment. We digest. We digest what we just laid out while digressing. Now,

if you are being impacted by this Cosy Livvy cry, which I would say would be the vast majority of people, and maybe you're looking for a new budgeting tip, I've got just the thing for you. It comes from the world of Toctic.

Have I said that right? Yes, absolutely. And it's a guy who said, so it's sort of an answer to quiet luxury, which is sort of people who are mega rich and they just spend quietly and you don't even notice it happening. Right. It is sort of the poor man's version of that, which is called loud budgeting.

Okay. Now, it's basically instead of not being able to spend money and feeling bad about it and going like, oh, bugger, or apologising for it or making excuses for it, quite loudly you kind of trick your brain by saying that you don't even want to do that thing, that you don't want to spend. So instead of saying like, oh, I don't have enough money

to buy that dress, be like, I don't want that dress. That's an ugly dress. Okay, well having just literally on Friday been with you when you were walking out of a store. And I said I didn't want to spend any money that day. And then you ended up buying the dress within the next minute.

Yes, but I've only just stumbled across loud budgeting today. Fletch. Okay, but how would that work? Going back in time. Okay, so I go in and I'll be like, God, I've got a wedding to go to and I don't have an appropriate outfit. It's going to be hot. Try a dress on and be like, that looks awful.

I don't want this dress. What are you going to wear to the wedding? My boobs. You've got to have a dress, don't you? I know, you have to borrow something. But even like you can do it if you're like socialising. We've got so many social occasions at the moment and it all adds up so if your friend texts you being like hey I want to hang out

you'd be like I don't want to spend the money and they'd be like oh okay well you can hang out and just not spend money how do you do that? just talk go to a museum it's not impossible why does everybody want to spend money socialising

do it at a house and take some chips. That's money. And you've got gas money. It's not as much as going out. I don't want to spend the gas money coming out to you, see you. You live so far away. But you're going to spend the gas money going to like a bar and then Ubering back.

No, but you're not doing any of these things. You're basically like you're not going out is the thing. Oh, wait, you're playing. Because I was like, this is unlike you to be like I'm not going out as like what? So this is the loud budgeting. I don't want to do that. Loud budgeting. You're basically it's not even to say it out loud.

It's to trick yourself. But this is what you say to your wife, isn't it? Yeah. I don't want to do that. That's constantly. You don't even want to do anything. You don't want to do it. But if you are someone like me that always wants to do everything and buy everything and say yes to everything, this would be helpful for me.

You've got to trick the brain. It's the theatre of the mind. I don't want to do that. Hey, do you want to come have a beautiful, fun adventure and have some drinks and cocktails, and then we'll go out for a nice meal, and then we'll have some more drinks? I don't want to do that.

I don't know if this is going to work for you. Do you want to go to this awesome party? I heard that all the celebs are here and Jason Momoa is going to be there. No, thank you. I don't want to come. No, thank you. I have no interest in being there. I don't know if this is going to work for you. It's not coming out right.

It's sort of getting caught in the throat. It might work for you. If it doesn't work for Hayley, give it a go. I'll give it a go. If it doesn't work for Hayley, give it a go. I'll give it a go. Well, we have a very exciting announcement and we're not going to do it on our own. We are joined in studio

by our dear friend, even off air. This friendship isn't just an on-air friendship like ours. Yeah, well, we're going to a wedding this weekend, aren't we? Here we are, actually. Sexologist,

somatic sexologist, Morgan Penn. Welcome. Oh, Morgan Penn. Welcome. Oh, good morning. And, of course, the mastermind and the beauty and brains behind sex.life. Pausing for her to say, like, no, no, no, you're also beauty and brains. I was feeling a bit, like, coy about it, but I was like,

thank you, I'll take that. But also, I could not do it without my compadre. Stop it. Look at you, you brown-wee thing. I know, I could not do it without my compadre. Stop it. Look at the tanned goddess. Look at you, you brown-wearing thing. I know, it's because she's wearing white as well. It really sets off the tan. And gold, you know, like I'm really trying to play up the goddess look today.

She's Greasian. Sort of Athenian. Yes, and you've come right into my honey trap, Vaughan. It's quite funny. Every time. Have I? I'm going to talk to Vaughan about your honey trap like that. I complimented you before when I went out and retrieved you of sorts.

Yes, and I snuggled in because of what you said. You snuggled right in. Yeah. So maybe it was you that fell into my honey trap. Now, speaking of honey traps, you've got something delicious and exciting to share with our listeners. Yes. Well, our beautiful co-creation of our sex positive podcast, Sex.Life, is about to come back for a second season.

Yeah. And. Yay. Incredible. Excitement, excitement. The best part is you don't even have to wait that bloody long. Have you trekked again to the middle of nowhere for a sort of a sex camp experience?

She's gone to the middle of bloody everywhere. I've gone everywhere because this is the thing. People were so shook about the fact that there was this rural sex school in New Zealand. And so I thought, well, there's a lot that people don't know that's happening on the sexual landscape of Aotearoa. So let me once again put my body on the line and I will go into the thick and I will experience everything.

The thick, the thin, the long, the short. So for those that don't know, season one was your experience at a sex school in rural New Zealand and every episode was like a day or so at this school. Yes. And I did weird things like making love to the ground, having to show my genitals to people. Which, by the way, that's basically Saltburn, isn't it? It is Saltburn, actually. She's a pioneer.

Yeah. I can't believe they're copying me. Yeah, they are copying you. That was just the surface of it though and if you haven't listened to season one, you can go and listen to it. iHeartRadio, anywhere you listen to your potties because I really feel like it would benefit people to listen to – you're not going back to the same school. If you haven't listened to the podcast, you know why.

But go back and listen to season one before season two, which comes out on Valentine's Day. Lovely. Feb 14 will be the first episode. Yes. And, God, I don't even know what to say about it. What can you tell us about this season then? Is there a singular setting or is it a...

I go to multiple experiences and offerings. So I've had to kind of do a little bit of undercover research, like joining websites, because there's quite a bit of kink in this one. And the kink community is very underground in New Zealand, unfortunately, because there's still a lot of shame and taboo around this stuff. And I guess that's half of my mission here, is

to demystify what's actually going on, and can we bring the healthy stuff into the light, instead of the shame that's there. So I go to undie parties, I go to this wrestling kink party, which was my favourite. Fletch and I go to undie parties I go to this wrestling kink party Which was my favourite Fletch and I went to Mexico once We went to this wrestling match

And I bought this hardcore wrestling mask Like the Nacho Libra mask Yeah Now I tell everyone that's going to Mexico City It's one of my favourite It's so cool And you've got to go to the wrestling Yeah of course

It's hilarious and brilliant Well can you imagine me nude just with that mask on? I don't think he wants to. Wrestling someone? As one of my friends, it's weird to think, but yes, okay. Well, I did that. I did that on one of the episodes. Yeah, it's going to be very funny and spicy and enlightening, I hope.

Yeah, I think that's the thing. At the end of the day, we're educating as well, but we do it with fun and laughter and audience. And completely tax deductible. My brain was immediately like, you're going to be able to claim back like harnesses, all sorts of things. Research, research.

I love it. It's a production cost. I think the IRD come for you for a harness. Yeah. Let's see you try. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Actually, a lot of like everything, like peaches and cream and adult mega store and all that would be tax deductible in your job. Yeah, well, if you guys want something from Wild Secrets, that's where we get our stuff Oh, is that where you're Wild Secrets? Yeah, we're Wild Secrets. If you want something, we could write it off. Do they have any vanilla secrets?

No. Could you just give us one? Sorry, Grandad. Love. Missionary. Number one position. Number one position. Number one position.

It's tried and true and it's classic. Tell us we're wrong. I have tried with you over the years, Vaughn. I've given you prostate massages. Messages? Hello, prostate, it's me, Morgan. Hey, hey, how you doing in there? You've tried so hard with Vaughn.

I know. And I know from like the last few months, or even like, yeah, going back two or three months, I'd be like, what are you doing this weekend? We're having a party, come over, whatever you be like. I can't, I'm going to this. Yeah. And I know that these episodes are going to be so fascinating.

I don't want to say too much, but I'm so excited for season two. I'm excited for people to listen to this. You've started recording. It's very exciting. Yeah. So season two, September 14th. Long tease. February 14th, Valentine's Day.

You'll be able to get episode one. Yeah. And if you haven't already, listen to Sex.Life season one on iHeartRadio or wherever you podcast. Morgan Penn, thank you so much. Always a pleasure. Thank you. Pleasure. There is a real rise, a trend, I guess,

of people wearing socks and sandals to the gym. Birkenstocks or Crocs? Like Crocs with, like, gym socks. Now, I know... No, because you know, you both called me out when we went on a work trip and I wore my socks and Birks. That was on a plane, though. Very comfortable.

That was on a plane. I love a sock and stock. A sock and stock. You like to dress semi-formal on a plane. Yeah, I wear a tie. Because you like to imagine air travel is like the 50s or the 60s. And I slap the stewardess on the ass. I say, thanks for the drink there, sweet cheaps.

Sweet cheaps. I'm like, if you want me to dress up and act like it's the 60s, I'm going to act like it's the 60s. You keep nearly getting thrown off the plane, though, because you light a cigarette. Yeah, yeah, right, sitting right there, I smoke a cigarette. No, so these are like crocs or slides that people are wearing with socks. Now, I know the theory around wearing bare feet or socks

when you're doing heavy lifting. What know the theory around wearing bare feet or socks when you're doing heavy lifting. If you're doing like a squat, a lot of people take their shoes off and go barefoot. Why? I think because your feet are in more contact with the ground. Yeah, it's something about where it's sending

where you're putting the pressure it sends it to the right places. I didn't think you were allowed to wear just socks in the gym. I thought you were saying about the toe covering and the hard shoe or something. But people do it because it's a weightlifting thing. But now people are just wearing like slides or Crocs to the gym. Now, you know my stance on Crocs.

They're doing too much weights and enough cardio. Jake the Musk told us how dangerous that was as he slammed that guy's head through the jukebox. I've got a, it says online that it improves your balance. Once barefoot, you can achieve better connection to the floor underneath you, making you feel more balanced. So you can better spread your toes and grip the floor. So if you're actually squatting heavy weight, you're better to do it.

Yeah. But then, yeah, you've got to wear shoes in the gym. I've never done it. But also a croc doesn't have, you'd be better in a gym shoe than a croc for like support, right? They're obviously flicking them off as well though, right? They're not lifting in crocs. No, they are, dude. That's the new thing.

Oh, what gibbets have they got on? Weight and protein shake gibbets. So I was faced with this conundrum the other day because it was, you know, the new year, first week back at work, and it was a Tuesday, and I had forgotten my shoes. In fact, you'd forgotten your gym bag, Fletch. Vaughn, you'd forgotten your gym bag, and I'd brought my gym bag but forgotten sneakers.

The universe did not want us to exercise on Tuesday. No, and on that day I was wearing like a chunky Doc Martin sandal, but those were in my car. to exercise on Tuesday. And on that day, I was wearing like a chunky Doc Martin sandal. Yeah. But those were in my car. So in the morning, I did slip on the hashtag gifted Crocs that I only wear when I'm like walking to the garage. Yeah.

I slipped them on to walk to my car because I've got a gravel driveway and it hurts my tootsies. Yeah. Slipped them on. And by the way, you are loving your Crocs around the home. Stop it. You say how comfortable they are. Don't them on. And by the way, you are loving your Crocs around the home. Stop it.

You say how comfortable they are. Don't out me. I will choose. Stitch me out the day for wearing Crocs. After I'd finished my yard work, I slipped on the Crocs and she tried to sell me out to a group chat. I'm like, you were wearing Crocs five minutes ago. What's this? Yeah, because she wants to appear like she wasn't. But remember when we did go out for dinner

for the Christmas parade and you forgot your shoesies and you left the house accidentally wearing Crocs? Yeah. You did feel a little embarrassed. Not once I slipped, you know, just slipped into those comfortable, beautiful Crocs. But I, so I didn't have my gym shoes. And then the only other shoes I had were chunky sandals, totally inappropriate. It slips right away. And then I mentioned, oh, the only other shoe I've got in my car is my Crocs.

And Fletch was like, well, just wear your Crocs. No, I would rather not. And do you know what? I battled with this idea so much that not only I was like, okay, yes, because I'm on a goal. I'm on a goal.

I want to work out. I drove into the car park of Les Mills and sat in my car being like, I can't do it. My Crocs are bright yellow as well because I didn't choose them. So I was being like I can't do it my Crocs are bright yellow as well because I didn't choose them so I was like

I can't do it and then I drove out you got the McDonald's one so they're bright red I mean they're great but not for me they're so great yeah

but I was like I literally was like just do it Hayley just do it just wear the Crocs and you couldn't even wear Crocs to the gym I couldn't do it

that's how much you detest Crocs at the gym I know this new trend don't let's not I'm proposing And you couldn't even wear Crocs to the gym. I couldn't do it. That's how much you detest Crocs at the gym. I know, this new trend. Don't, let's not. I'm proposing. No, I see so many people in either Crocs or kind of like those kind of. Adidas slides. Adidas, do them slides.

Yeah. I'm just going to say it's upsetting me. It's upsetting me. And I really hope not to see it from my two friends in front of me. You're a traditionalist you want some I do too much cardio yeah you are cardio

I couldn't wear Crocs these are definitely like a weight lifting thing I'd slip out of them on the stair machine that would be funny though that would be quite funny well for everybody watching

not Vaughan not for Vaughan but funny to witness I have a question for the listener okay but funny to witness. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I have a question for the listener. Okay. Can we partake in this question? The only listener.

Good morning, Susan. Welcome to the show. The listener. Because people only listen individually, don't they? Yeah, true. So when I say I have a question for you, the listener. A family gathered around the radio. Yeah, but that person listening is the listener, aren't they? Yeah, true. True. So when I say I have a question, you're the listener. A family gathered around the radio. Yeah, but that person listening

is the listener, aren't they? Does the family gathered around the radio somehow have a fireplace and cups of hot cocoa? Yeah, they do. They do. They absolutely do. They're doing it,

hanging on every word. Here is my question. When were you too scared to ask for help? And you should have. Like, maybe you're in a predicament. Like, I don't know, you're in like a toilet

and there's no toilet paper. But you can hear people around. And you're like, I could ask someone to just pass some paper under. Or I could just put my pants on and have the shame of... I feel like women

are so much better at this. When I talk about... I was talking to someone and they were like, oh yeah, I just met this chick. And then as I was talking to us, I had a little piddle and I was chatting. And I was like, God, women, I just met this chick and then like, as I was talking to us, I had a little piddle and I was chatting.

And I was like, God, women, we're so quick to pee in front of each other and ask for toilet paper. Yeah, whereas I feel like guys

wouldn't, they'd just be like, oh, well I guess now I've just got to go home, find some new undies. Grotty butthole. Yeah.

Couldn't you go to the next cubicle and get some toilet paper there? Yeah, but at least it's busy. But you still have to clean your dirty cheeks together and sort of shuffle. So, but if a muffler... So a study's been done

and they asked thousands of people, adults, what age they finally felt comfortable asking for help. And they found out it's 27. Oh, so you ask for help after 27? Yeah, so it's not until

the age of 27 you feel comfortable being like, hey, I need help with this. Yeah, right it's not until the age of 27 you feel comfortable being like, hey, I need help with this. Yeah, right. So those between the ages of 25 and 34 are most likely to reach out to others when they need help. Yeah, right.

But those over 65, maybe they're a little bit too... Proud. I don't know, proud? Because they start feeling, okay, they start feeling useless. They're like, no, I should be able to do this. Yeah, they're also less likely to ask for help because, yeah, like you say, they're a bit proud.

So, and when it comes to like what people are comfortable to ask for help with, relationships are the most uncomfortable subject to help. Only 37% of people felt they could ask other people for advice. Yeah, or like a therapist. Yeah, same with finances and health. So it went relationships, finances, and health. Those are the ones that people have struggled. And those are like three important areas of your life, right?

And then people were happy to ask for advice for things like careers and work, education. I get a bit like this in Mitre 10 because there's something about me that goes like, just because I'm a woman doesn't in Mitre 10 because there's something about me that goes like just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm lost in here the thing is as a woman I'm lost in here

I'm lost in here and they always know, they and Bunnings, they always know what aisle the screws are in you can ask them anything and they're like I know do they have to pass a test? do they have to pass an exam on this? it must be like what is the exam on this I didn't listen to test it must be an exam

the old black cab drivers in London they had to know the way around London yeah I thought you were talking about cab drivers who were black

I was like it's weird that you distinguish them from other cab drivers the black cabs the black cabs yeah yeah they've got to know

all the words sorry I just heard it and it pinged out yeah yeah yeah you've got to do a little test yeah but there's something about there's a resistance to ask for help and I should because then I just heard it and it pinged out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to do a little test. Yeah. But there's something about,

there's a resistance to ask for help. And I should, because then I just waste all my time wandering the aisles. Exactly. And there's like so many reasons people don't want to ask for help. And this is why this morning, I want to open up the phone lines on 0800-DARLING-M-9696.

When did you not ask for help? When you should have. Producer Jared, you've been in this situation? Yeah, I was at a restaurant and started choking, but I didn't want to inconvenience the staff members. Dude, your life is on the line. It's too nice to ask for help. You don't want to inconvenience.

It was embarrassing, and I was like, it might not be that bad. And I like, fell off to the toilet. Tried to self-heimlich, didn't Tried to, like, self-heimlich. Didn't work. Against the wall. Self-heimlich?

Yeah. Tried to finger my own throat. And then, like, tried to do a headstand. So gravity. A headstand. Nothing worked. Eventually the staff barged in. Because my parents were like, I think he's choking.

Oh, God. You couldn't even ask your own parents? Nah. I just stood up and walked to the bathroom. Oh, my God. and walked to the bathroom. Oh, my God. You walked to the bathroom? It's the worst thing to do if you're choking. I've done it like three times.

How old were you? Like 25. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not good. But again, you were two years shy of the age. Exactly. The magic age of asking for help. Asking for help.

From 27, when I choke, I always ask for help. Yep. I've always asked that. Thank you for doing that. Does he have a small sort of throat or something? He has a very small throat. I choke a lot. I choke a lot.

Are you chewing? Yeah, I chew. I chew. I can chew a bit more. I can chuck in a couple more. Yeah, a few extra chews there. A couple more chews. Also, you don't eat much.

I know. Because he's always bloody choking. That's why. Every time he eats, he's taking his life in his own hands. Okay, give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. You can text in 9696. When were you too scared to ask for help

when you should have? So a study asked thousands of adults what age they felt comfortable finally asking other people for help. And it was 27. But even, it turns out, people older than 27 are really struggling

in some situations to ask for help and this is what we wanted to ask you this morning. When should you have asked for help? But you didn't. You didn't.

Some messages in. Shah replied to us on Instagram saying I got stuck in a dress in Wild Pear in the changing rooms and I was so absolutely mortified

to ask for help. It's awful when it gets stuck around your shoulders and you're like this and your shoulders. And you're like this. You get your arms up and you're like, can I have some help in here, please? Or when you try something on and you just hear a rip and you're like...

I did that. Put that back. Put that back. Kesa, when should you have asked for help but didn't? Okay, so I've got to say for time, it was my first time skiing. I'd never been skiing before with the mountaineer pair who was some cool-ass friends and I was on the baby slopes to make things better. Oh, that's so embarrassing. Yeah.

Oh, did you get it stuck and all that sort of stuff? Yeah. Well, I got my finger stuck. Oh, did you get it stuck in that little clicky thing? I had no idea. I was too busy watching these little kids go down the slope and be like, oh my God, that's so cool. And I got my finger stuck. And instead of asking for help, I just laughed. Okay. And I was like, oh, that's awkward giggle. And so how did you get the finger out? Well, people were staring at me like,

you know, is she okay? Is she okay? And this lovely gentleman, don't know who it was because he was all, obviously, covered up,

was like, do you need help? And I was like, oh, yes, please. I certainly knew. So you had to wait for someone to come to you and offer help.

For me, because I was too proud to ask for help. I think also as an adult, getting a finger stuck somewhere is just funny. It's just sad. You're like, oh, God, I'm a finger stuck. Very funny. Kiza, thank you so much. Rachel, when were you too proud to ask for help? Morning, guys.

It was when I was a kid. I was going to karate lessons and it was just going on and on and I really needed to pee but I was too scared to ask where the bathroom was and so I just peed all over the floor. Rachel, I did the exact

same thing. We were at the basketball holiday camp and I was like man I'm busting but I dare not interrupt this man talking to us. And I just wet myself on the floor. It's embarrassing, isn't it? Did you get a basketball camp nickname after that? No, my brother took care of me and kind of cleaned it up before anyone noticed.

That dude, he's a good brother. Wow, because I would have absolutely told everybody my brother just pissed himself. Yeah, you would. Rachel, how did you deal with it? Did you go back to karate? I wouldn't know. We never went back. My mum was mortified.

You just left. Okay, keep your texts coming in. Mum was embarrassed. 9696. You can text through 0800DARLS at M. When should you have asked for help, but you didn't? We kick off Taylor Thursdays tomorrow. Your last chance to win tickets to see Taylor Swift.

We've got flights, accommodation and tickets. Yeah. And there ain't many of those left. We're going to play a bunch of Taylor songs tomorrow. Make sure you're listening from 6am to be in to win. Currently we are asking you when you should have asked for help but you were too scared or too proud and it probably backfired. 27 apparently is the magic age where we feel we're old enough to ask for help when we're not too proud and it probably backfired. 27 apparently is the magic age where we feel

we're old enough to ask for help when we're not too proud. Just get over yourself and just ask for help. Belinda, when should you have asked for help? It wasn't me, it was actually my grandfather. Okay. Oh, they hate asking for help. Well, that's exactly what the

study says. Once you're over the age of 65 maybe you're too proud. Imagine the day you tell them that your helper is literally moving in, pops. They don't like that. And he is one of the rural farmers, too, so he's not asking anyone for any help. Oh, gosh. And he's highly allergic to pumpkin seeds, which my mother forgot, put them in our dinner, and instead of telling us, he ate it and then just went to the room to die by

himself, we assumed. And thankfully he didn't. All was fine. But we realised after a few minutes of him leaving, being like where did he go? And found him in his room, swollen, patchy and when we asked him afterwards why he didn't ask for help, he said no need to ruin a good dinner.

Oh my God. That is so good. I don't know if it's because I'm a drama queen, but I would ruin that dinner with me like, I'm dying. And there's pumpkin seeds.

Holy moly. Wow. That is an old mate, eh? Doesn't want to make a fuss. Yeah, he's just a classic partner. Didn't want to ask anyone for help. Oh my God. Thank God he's okay.

Belinda, thank you for sharing some messages in. I faint every now and then and always in public spaces. I can feel it coming on, but I never ask for help, which is ironic because once I'm on the ground, people are obliged. I was doing my NCA exams at school and it was so hot and I was so nervous that I got a blood nose.

I didn't want to draw any attention, so I used the spare exam paper provided and just wrote a short essay instead. Oh, yeah, because it used to have the extra lines if you went over. Shove it up their nose? I don't know. I was at the gym and I felt my calf muscle coil

up my leg as I tore it. Have you seen a video of that? No, but I've seen an Achilles go. Don't they hear it? It's an Achilles. You can hear it? Yeah, my dad snapped his. The only person in the area at the time was Carlos Spencer. And there was no way I was going to yell out,

Carlos, help a sister out, as I stood there and cried until he left and then also left. Oh, my God. I was struggling to breathe and my doctor got my blood test back and told me to get to the hospital ASAP, but I didn't want to call an ambulance as I felt someone else needed their help more. So I waited for an Uber.

It took me 45 minutes to get to the hospital and the ER doctor absolutely ripped me to bits saying I could have died in the Uber on the way there. Oh, my God. I spent seven days in hospital on tubes. Jeepers. Oh, my God. All on the tubes.

Oh, my God, never wait. If they tell you to get to the hospital, get to the bloody hospital. Take the ambulance. I love that a doctor rings you and they're like, we've got your blood results. Get there as soon as possible. Oh, my God.

I don't want to bother the ambulance, though. Oh, no. Surely there's someone having a worse time than me. My heart's just gone all funny and I can't breathe. Yeah, I can't see. I can't see colours anymore. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. I came off contraception how many days ago

I could check my app months ago because I remembered this thing called feelings and I sort of thought I'd like to return to having them again I remember this thing called libido and I was like, what was that?

I felt guys don't know what women truly go through with the contraceptive pill, do they really? That's horrible. I mean, I'm appreciative that it's available to us. Yeah. But the cost on the body is horrendous. You've sold me on it. I'll start because sometimes my feelings feel too much.

You can just tell me feelings. I am ready to go. Yeah, right. You could dampen that. I want to dampen both of those things. Yeah, dampen those. Maybe I need to get on the contraception. Jump on.

See what happens. You might get some breasties. That was just a bit of a sick question. But, you know, they did trial the male contraceptive pill and it gave us headaches. It gave them headaches. So they've pulled the pin on that for now. Yeah.

But, you know, back to the drawing board. I think a couple of the boys gained a bit of weight and they were like, nope. Whoa, no thank you. Well, I came off it and something has occurred as a result and I was unaware of this. Okay. That this had happened.

Wait, so you're not pregnant. I thought this was going to be a pregnancy announcement. What gave you that idea? Well, moments ago you were like, remember when I stopped taking my contraceptive pill? Yeah. Something's happened. Got ya.

So you're just like rolling the dice at this stage. Got ya, though I will show you my alarming period tracker because I've got polycystic ovary syndrome, so I don't have a regular period, and lots of things happen to that. I'm on day 118. 28 days is a cycle. 118's no good.

Well, you'll have to explain that to me further. You have 118 days since there's been a period. Yeah, so a natural menstrual cycle. I don't know. It's just in there. And it's just hanging out in there. No, I'm not releasing the eggs, so there's no need. Yes, I did do one.

Okay, because I was going to say, like, once you do that and release the eggs, the body's like, no need to period. To period. I do apologise. You don't need to release it. Nothing's really getting released. You don't need to flush it out because it didn't get released from the ovaries. So the egg, again, is smaller than a grain of sand.

Yeah. And it releases and the body's smaller than a grain of sand. Yeah. And it releases and the body's just like, flush it out. Yeah, but when you've got PCOS like I do, that's sometimes why on the ovary you'll have

what look like cysts. It's the egg getting kind of blocked, basically. And it doesn't come out, so there's no need to do it. So there's just this backlog of eggs. Yeah, full of eggs. Like a 12-pack.

Yeah. Or one of those big trays of Twinkies. Well, you do the maths. How many days? 118. Divided by? 28. Oh, so you might have a full pack.

So I'm like four months late, right? Oh, so you've got a pack of cream eggs. You've got a pack of cream eggs. Four cream eggs. Which I believe they've started selling those already. Yeah, I saw that. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I'm full of cream eggs.

I'm absolutely full of them. Don't say that. Don't say that again. No, yum. I'm full of creme eggs. I'm absolutely full of them. Don't say that. Don't say that again. No, but I knew you'd ask if I took a pregnancy test. Because there was that man that was full of creme eggs, remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He popped them up his bottom. He popped them up his bottom.

That's right. You don't do that either. No, I did take one. Not pregnant. But anyway, when you're on the pill and you have a hormonal disorder like polycystic ovarian syndrome, sometimes the pill masks a lot of the symptoms. Right. And then when you come off it, you kind of get ready for some of those to return.

Like my skin's a bit worse than it has been and having a few breakouts and whatnot. And I was like, that's fine. I can handle this. Yesterday I did a photo shoot. Hot, eh? Hot photos. Yeah, I've got applause from the ladies. Are you allowed to say what this photo shoot was for?

It's for, I know. You know it had a big D&D energy to it. Yes, I've got applause from the ladies. Are you allowed to say what this photo shoot was for? It's for, I know. You know it had a big D&D energy to it. Yes, I know. It had a big fantasy Dungeons & Dragons feel. Yeah, it's a lot. Anyway, I had a shower at my friend's house to get ready for this shoot. And look, I've been privy to a few facial hairs before. Yeah. And look, I've been privy to a few facial hairs before.

Yeah. You know, every woman gets a coarse pube on the chin. A rogue. A rogue. And you pluck it out and you move on with your life. Or a moustache. I've had that lasered and whatnot. And since coming off the pill, I've noticed some of them coming back. And I was like, oh, God.

Like, da-da-da-da-da. And what has been revealed to me is that I've sort of cocked up the lighting a little bit in my new bathroom. Yeah. Because I was like, thought I was on top of it. But being at a friend's house in which she has like windows streaming in, I actually had like a full chin fuzz. Isn't that that drink you get at the bar?

A chin fuzz? No, that's a gin fizz. A gin fizz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've got the chin fuzz. Not a desirable drink. But a full, a full,

like a full situation. I haven't noticed this. No, I haven't seen it. You're a metre away from me every day. I haven't noticed a chin strap. But not sort of. That's 1.8 metres.

No, it's a bit of a Craig David. Betcha. Give me your tape measure. Okay, no one move. Okay, no, it's not 1.8. You stand still. Okay, I'm going to go.

No! He's juggling. He's juggling all this shit. No, go to the chin. Go put the tape measure at the chin. Oh, yeah, to the beard. No, it's going to go eye to eye. Look at that.

One, and you lean back to where you were. And what does that say? 180 centimetres. Oh, my God. You're a whole metre off. Okay, so maybe if I was 80 centimetres closer, I would have noticed the chin strap. Yeah, totally.

The chin fuzz. Okay. I was quite taken aback by it. There were sort of these like sharp, thick hairs. I can't see them. I've got glasses now too. And not in like ones or twos, like tens. Really?

Like I've grown a full effing beard. I haven't seen that. Of course you know. I've shaved it off. And now I'm going to be creating a cycle of shave. What do you want us to say here? Could it just be easy to go back on the pill? No, no, no.

Don't say that. That's why I asked. What do you want us to say here? I don't want you to say anything. I'm just sharing. Because I said we haven't seen it, and I felt like that was pretty good. Yep.

But now I know you daren't say you should go back on the pill because it's not your body. It's not your... Yeah, no. I would never say that. Yeah, just wear a condom next time we hook up. He doesn't. He will.

He won't. He won't do it. I just want to just wriggle a little rumor in there. No, honestly, I'm just sharing it to be like, I'm with you, ladies. The hormones are raging, and I've been blanketing them for all these years, and my true body wants to grow a full beard

that I honestly think could envy the likes of Vaughn. I'd like to see it. I'd like to see another beard on the show. It would be great for your later career as a bearded woman at the circus. Do you know what I mean? I'm sort of'd like to see another beard on the show it'd be great for your later career as the bearded woman at the circus do you know what I mean I'm sort of tempted

to just like see what happens this is the greatest show go fool showman I could sing that song yeah yeah

17 shout out to everyone dealing with the beards they don't want today play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley okay I'm just gonna take I'm just gonna touch give me the platform for a little bit.

I know you guys don't watch your dating shows that much, but I do and I absorb them and I just love them. And do you know what? Yesterday I got home and... I watched five episodes of Bluey last night. Each one as good as the next and the one before. Fantastic. Perfect show.

And I watched three episodes of Love Island because I was behind and I love getting behind on a show. You know what I mean? And you've just lived your life almost not realising you're behind and then you get to sit down and watch three eps. You don't want to do that at the end of the season otherwise you get spoilers.

No, no, no, I won't do that. But me, the girlies and Jared are in a chat at the moment. Is it called Love Island Girlies? Yeah. Jared's honorary girly. Yeah, he is indeed. Well, Jared pops off in this chat.

Let's start with Love Island. I would say Jared is the most invested. No, Jared is a huge Love Island fan. Well, Jared made the chat. Yeah, Jared made the chat and called it Love Island Girlies. Yeah. But, Jared,, because we're all watching it at the moment, I slipped behind

and so you three were sort of at a level a couple of eps before and I tapped out a little bit and then I came back in when I was watching an ep, I knew that you three had already seen and we just have a good time in there, don't we? Yeah, it's good fun. Yeah, we'll make a lot of comments about one of the contestants, but

she is. Disparaging comments? Yeah, disparaging. fun. Yeah, we'll make a lot of comments about one of the contestants, but she is... Disparaging comments? Yeah, disparaging. Okay, right now. They're rather disparaging. She's my favourite. Often accompanied with photos. Okay. Being like, holy guacamole, you know?

Yeah. Good if you were on the Titanic, though. Okay, I haven't seen a single episode where I know there must be some big feet boobies. Yeah, she would float away back to the mainland, no sweat. Wait, would you actually float? Do, do, do. Do silicone, wouldn't they be heavy?

Do breast implants. Yeah, because they're not filled with air. Are you doing a, neutrally buoyant breast implants float in sync in the manner your movements dictate and just like natural breast tissue will go as far underwater as you take them. However, competitive swimmers may find some slight drag created by the larger size of augmented breasts. I have not seen a competitive swimmer with breasts. No, they're exactly the opposite of what you are.

No, they're like washboard. Anyway, Jared, you revealed to us this morning that you had caught up with where we're at with Love Island. Because it's an all-stars season. All-stars, so we know them all or they've been there before. You've gone right back.

Yeah, I've sourced season one, and the media and I are watching that. Which is 10 seasons ago. Did that come out 10 years ago or not quite? No, it's not quite. There's been a couple of overlaps. Yeah, they're drinking. They are smoking. Because on Love Island now, there's one drink per night.

It gets poured at the start of the night. Because it got problematic when they were just getting completely sloshed. Yes. Sloshed. Well done. That's right. And they put a stop to that. So what is it like?

Because I've never seen. I picked up about season six. Yeah, so in the episode, we just watched two new bombshells enter, twin brothers. This is season one. Oh, this is in season one. Season one.

Twin brothers. Yeah, so they each got taken to the hideaway. They got to pick a girl. And then immediately, one of the girls just starts drinking from the bottle. Drink neck and the bottle. Wow. Of what?

Spirits or wine? Champagne. How do you drink champagne from the bottle? It explodes in your face. It makes you take your lips off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe fizzy wine then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's just hammered. Yeah, basically they all got the option to stay the night and she didn't like the guy but was like, ooh. So are you recommending having a little watch just to see where it's come? Yeah. And it's funny seeing the fashion from back there. All the dudes, their hair's gelled straight up. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Because there's a couple of contestants who are in the All-Star season now that were in season one. So this is season 11. That's embarrassing. And they were in season one. So this is season 11. Yeah. That's embarrassing. And they were in season one. I couldn't find love on any islands. And that was 2015.

Yeah, so there you go. So it is like nine years. June 2015. I didn't really understand it, but Emma lost her mind when she saw one of the girls putting on like bright pink lipstick. Oh, no. No, no, no. Come on.

We don't do that. That's like Mac shave. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We don't do that anymore. God, it makes your teeth look yellow. It's so good. Oh, no. No, no, no. Come on. That's like Mac shave. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We don't do that anymore. God, it makes your teeth look yellow. It's so good. It suits no one. It suits no one.

That's what I say. Okay, I'm going to do this because I'm going to catch up with Love Island today. This is great. We'll pop off that. We'll talk in the chat later. You guys are in it.

Anyway, another thing on the dating calendar is that Married at First Sight Australia for 2024, the brides and grooms have been announced. Right. Now that's kicking off very soon and you get a little

first look. You cast your first judgements. It tells them a little bit. Now we've got some older people here and you can always tell the first couple, right? Because there's an old man and an older woman. So you're like, well they'll be together. Maybe not. Maybe not. We've got just sort of the same amount of flotation devices

in both lip and chest as previous seasons. I will say it looks like a little bit more of a mixed bag. I did see one chick who looked kind of like she was fresh from Gloria Vale. Do you know what I mean? It's giving Virgin Mary I'll say it Right And this She looks like she's gonna get too drunk

And cause a bit of She's gonna be a bit of a shitster I reckon Guys I'm so excited for this The best dating show That's ever been produced Is Down for Love The New Zealand show

Where people with disabilities Go on dates Or Love on the Spectrum I haven't watched Love on the Spectrum. There's a new season of that too. There's so much dating goodness. And I just love it. And I won't hear a bad word about it.

And Aaron's been staying away for a little bit, helping his family. So I've just been lapping it up on the big TV. Absolutely loving it. That doesn't stop you when he's back because you just have separate devices with headphones, right? Well, yes, but he'll look over and be like...

Give a disappointing look. Oh my gosh, shut up. And I'm like, don't watch it then. Don't watch it then. But you can tell he's a little bit hooked. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day,

day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is that mushrooms can help trees talk to each other. Oh, my God. Go ahead. It's mushroom week here at Fact of the Day. I've got them. Hooked them.

You have. I'm utterly loving mushroom week. at Fact of the Day. I've got them. Hooked them. You have. I'm utterly loving mushroom week. How do mushrooms help trees talk to each other? Well, some scientists call it the wood wide web. Just stick to science. Yeah, I reckon. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I think comedy's easy. The underground network of fungus is the oldest date they can put on us. 500 million years old. Okay. And it existed before the trees. The good old days. Before these trees came in and stole all our jobs. And you could say anything.

Oh, yeah. Before PC went mad. Before the trees were all awoken. Yeah. Back in the good old days. The fungus existed before the trees, but when the trees came along and the underground fungus helped them talk to each other by sharing nutrients and such.

So we're thinking of a dry earth or a frozen earth. Dry earth. Are we a rock? We're a rock. Yeah, we're a rock, but we've got soil on top. we're a rock yeah we're a rock but we've got soil on top we're a rock we've got soil

so we're at that point soils, clays all the things that things grow on and then before trees started coming up giant mushrooms fungi under the ground

yeah giant mushrooms everywhere above ground below ground kind of makes me feel gross so below ground trees and plants will get nutrients

from the fungi that are underground they break things down that the trees can't and give them like nitrogen, phosphorus and stuff. And then in return, the trees are like, here, have some carbon-rich sugars from our roots in the tree. And the fungi's like, we like this. This is the old barter system.

Oh. The good old days. A bit of a market under there. A bit of a symbiotic relationship. Yeah. So they all give each other. Now, how they help them talk is all the fungi is all connected. So if the tree's like, here, have some of this,

and the fungi might be like, I've already got enough. That tree over there is doing very well for itself. Right. And the tree will be like, that tree, so I'll pull away. Or it can send messages of like, have some of this. Oh, I need more. I need more. Why do you need more? that tree over there's not

giving me any, why is that tree not giving me any of this, this and this, it's dying How clever Insects are attacking it, drought like it's getting very drought, they send each other like chemical messages, they don't be like, emails It's not the ants, it's not the ants off the Lord of the Rings movies, yeah right, they don't

walk around, I guess you could call it tree mail, tree mail I suppose you could call it tree mail? Tree mail. Yeah, I suppose you could call it that. I don't know if you would though. No, I don't think you would. Tree mail? So yeah, the chemicals released by trees can tell other trees different things by what they need from the fungus needs from them underground. And then if

one of the trees is dying, are they just like, bye? They pick up and they leave. They're like, this isn't good here. And the tree will pull its roots out of the ground and walk to a place where it can just die. I'm leaving. I'm out of here. This is no good for anybody.

You always say this. Yeah, you always say that. You always come crawling back. But if a tree can prepare itself for, like, drought, for example, it can prepare itself a little bit better. Right. By putting more of its stock into roots than leaves, for example. Right. If it knows drought's coming, roots than leaves, for example. Right.

If it knows drought's coming, then it can prepare itself. Mushrooms, eh? I said this the other day, they seem too smart to be eating. Yeah, but they're so yum in a stir fry and everything, aren't they? I know. I'll eat them. Do you put them in a stir fry? Yeah.

I don't mushroom in my stir fries. Too soft. You add them like pretty close to the end, eh? Yeah, you add them to the end if you don't want them soggy. Just to heat them. Nah, I'm them to the end if you don't want them soggy. Just to heat them. Nah, I'm not all about crunch and a stir fry. Anyway, we're all different. To each their own.

Today's fact of the day is that mushrooms can help trees talk to each other. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I got home quite late yesterday because I had a photo shoot and left town about 6.30 got home about 7ish big day and the supermarket that is kind of,

it's a little one, it's posh by my house, was closed when I was going past. And I was like, oh my God, there's literally no food in my house. And I'm trying not to like Uber Eats or anything at the moment. Yeah. So I did a classic. How's that going? Well, my dad came and stayed.

So we went out for meals quite a lot. Yeah. So, not good. Not good? Not good. It's going not good. Okay. Well, hey, it's just a stumble, isn't it?

Get back up. It's fine. Well, this is what happened last night. I was like, instead of just jumping on Uber Eats and getting something, because I'd had such a big day yesterday, such a big day. It would have been the perfect excuse in your head to get Uber Eats. Do you know what? It's so good I slept in yesterday

because the day ended up being so long. Those two hours extra sleep I had while you guys were at work was fantastic. You're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you guys. I really appreciate it. So what I did was I did an omelette dinner.

Oh my God. You know what I mean? I love an omelette for dinner. Same. I knew I had a bit of... Underrated. It rules. No, underrated. Underrated. People don't do it enough I love an omelette for dinner. Same. I knew I had a bit of... Underrated. It rules. No, underrated.

Underrated. People don't do it enough. They think it's just for breakfast or brunch. Or they think it's not going to be enough. Oh, it's enough. It's a couple more eggs. I did three eggs. Omelettes have to be min four eggs.

No, min three. Min three. No, min four eggs. But I'm such a petite little thing. Do you know what I mean? It was a super fast metabolism, so... Okay, you can do a min three. Yeah, min three.

But small frying pan. I've only got bag. I've only got bag because my small one was shite. You're basically making a crepe omelette. No, no, no. It was kind of okay. It was all right size. I just sort of went through the fridge and was like, what's in here? I had a little packet of ham, like one of those sealed up

packets. Chopped that up. I've got, still working on my bag of onions. Managed to palm off a bag to each of you guys., I've got, still working on my bag of onions. Managed to palm off a bag to each of you guys. How are you going on the onions? My bag of onions. I got my bag of onions. I never took my bag of onions.

It was when I came to collect my onions, there was no onions. Who took the bag? Producers? That was for Vaughan. I've got some onions. Who took the bag of onions? They can have onions. They can have onions. They can have onions.

They can have onions. So onions, ham. Onions, onions, ham. Any spinach or greens? I had no greens in the fridge, unfortunately. But I had the head of a capsicum, so I cut around the stalk here in the seeds. Got that in there.

Considered peas. What? No, you don't put peas in an omelette. I know, but I was trying to add vegetables, and I literally, the fridge is empty. Yeah. Anyway, so it was capsicum, ham, cheese, I had cheese, an onion.

What a great omelette. Three eggs. Yep. Whipped it up. But as I was cracking the eggs, I was like, yeah, this happens every time. I don't think I know how to crack an egg without getting shell in it.

Flat surface. I am 34 years old, and I eat a lot of eggs. And apologies to our vegan listeners years old and I eat a lot of eggs. And apologies to our vegan listeners, but I do eat a lot of eggs. Yeah. And I always say, because I like to whisk it in a cup. What are you apologising to them for?

I don't know. I've got no respect for them. Apologise to the chickens. Yeah, totally. So I put it in a cup and then I crack it on the rim of the cup and go like that. No, that's where you're going wrong.

That's just how I've always done it. Crack it on a flat surface. It doesn't push the shell in. What do you mean a flat, like the bench? The bench. No. You bang and then pull it open with your thumbs. Yeah, side of the bowl, side of the cup.

That's where you're going wrong. You're hitting the rim. Side of the pan. No, but then the yolk will go out onto the bench. No, you come on. You're not just going smash. Ooh. Ooga booga.

Ooga booga. You're not a cake man. I am. You go bang and you just hit it lightly, create a crack, pick it up, crack it in. No. When you hit it on the rim, it smashes the shell in. It cracks off and it ends up in the egg. Well, I literally make eggs so often.

It drastically reduces it. And every single time. Okay, wait. I've got a video. This hot guy is about to do it. Just crack them with one hand. Crack them with one hand. One hand on the bench.

I'm not fancy with one hand though. So he can use two hands. Yeah, so he's on the, okay, wow. Oh, I don't know. And you pull it apart. You don't like crack it in half.

Right. How hard do you go on the bench though? Well, you have to work that out. Well, I think I could. Every now and then you'll get a real thin shell and you'll just be like, eggs everywhere. But that's the roll.

That's the roll of the dice, baby. Well, despite the shell being in there, because there's shell in all my omelettes. This happens every single time. It's a delicious omelette. So why don't I do another omelette dinner tonight? But it's calcium. It's calcium.

Yeah, totally. I just gobbled it up. Who cares? It's just shell. But I'm just like. Normally if there Yeah, totally. I just gobbled it up. Who cares? It's just shell. But I'm just like... Normally if there's shell in the bowl, it'll stay in the bottom, right? It doesn't?

You get it in your omelette? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I'm just gobbling. I just... Who cares? Bend your arm like you're doing that bougie salt bae thing

and then just drop the egg. It'll be perfect every time. What? Drop it where? You need to explain that more. Onto the pan. Are you putting your elbow on the bench and just drop? What are you doing?

Like that. How are you doing this? You can't just drop an egg onto the bench. It'll go everywhere. You're going to need to send us a video of how that happens. Unless it's going into the bowl. Are they dropping it in? That feels like you're going to be riddled with shell.

I think that could be Ashton Kutcher and I'm getting punked. Now, I think... Good modern reference there. She's hip, she's cool. She's hip and she is relevant. He's got so much money, I don't think he needs to do TV. Do you reckon? Now, I want to know...

And he wrote that letter for Danny Masters. Sweep that under the rug. I want to know, what are you bad at that you should be good at by now? Like, what is the thing that you're still like, I can't do that. I'm just not good at that. As an adult, you're a grown adult. You should be good at something. Maybe there's just that little thing that, like,

yesterday just clocked that I was like, I don't know how to crack an egg properly. And I do nothing but eat eggs. On the fly, I will mix up brought and bought all the time. If I'm just like rattling off a sentence. You should be good at that by now. You should know. You talk for a living. The R go at that by now? I should have that sorted. The R is because you're bringing it.

Bringing something. Yeah, but do you stop and go bring bought? It's like every time I come up to saying the word topo. See how I changed everything about that? She's like, oh my god, we were just driving through topo. Slips up on the P-R. I'm like, you're all good, babe.

Shout out for trying. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800-DAR're all good, babe. Shell it if you're trying. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800 DARS at M. Call us now. Text through 9696. What are you still bad at that you should be good at by now? Well, everyone's agreeing to crack it on a surface.

I don't know how to crack an egg without getting shell into the bowl. Crack it on a flat surface seems to be the resounding thing. Gordon Ramsay himself. And I trust that man with my life. Crack it on the bench, on a flat surface seems to be the resounding thing. Gordon Ramsay himself. And I trust that man with my life. Crack it on the bench, on a flat surface. Yeah.

But maybe for the first time put down like glad wrap to practice. Yes, to absorb it. And then if you lose some egg while you're practicing. You've got to break some eggs to make an omelette, baby. That's the saying. But I have asked you, what is it that you don't know or that you're not good at by now, but you should be. As an adult.

As an adult. Anna, what is it? Well, I always forget my left and right, so I still have to hold my hand up. Your left hand up. 37 years old, not so good, eh? It's a thing, though, eh? Like, I know lots of people who still do this.

I can just feel it. I can feel it. Yeah, I don't need to do that either, but some people do. I feel stressed out. If I'm in a situation where I can't do my hand up, I just kind of get, and I'm going to be right 50% of the time, right? Well, that's a great way to live life. Could you just suddenly hold out your hands like down below

and just kind of look? Well, some people get tattoos. Well, I could. Get a little L on your left hand, I reckon. I know, I need a tattoo. If you were driving with people in the car and they're like, just turn left up there, you would have to just do the L. Oh God, just turn.

Even if you just had a dot on that hand, that would be enough to be like, it's a dot on that hand. I would think your head would be like, wait, which one did I put the dot on? Did I dot for the right or the left? Oh, no, come on. Right now, we are asking you

what you should be good at by now. What you should know how to do. You know, this started because you can't crack an egg without getting some shell in there and someone's like, you just drop it. Yes. They sent me the video. It's insane. This guy holds an egg.

Like Salt Bae with the salt. Nah, he just holds it straight above the pan and sideways like, yeah. How do I describe this? You know how you would consider an egg to be up and down? Yeah. Turn it 90 degrees. Okay. Yep. So you drop it from a height on its side. Yeah. And it hits the pan and it opens

but the shell stays together and you just put the shell out as one. No, but I'm making an omelette. Yeah, I know, because it wouldn't work the minute you're doing more than one. Yeah, I do four. But the time you've done your fourth one, the other one will be. It wouldn't work. No, I don't like that.

I think it's your suggestion, though. Yeah. There's no bad idea in a brainstorm. Apart from that one. Apart from that one. The one that precedes the bad idea, somebody saying that. Also, whenever someone says that in a brainstorm It's just been a terrible idea That's just what I said

I said apart from the one that precedes the person saying that And then you dumbed it down I didn't, yeah I dumbed it down I'm going to be honest, I tapped out Yeah, well it's three minutes to nine I know, you're not used to these long work days You had to work a full show today Yeah, I'm exhausted.

You went an hour late for work. I've had a full 15. Outrageous. Outrageous. Sarah, what should you be good at as an adult by now? Oh, you're going to laugh at this. I cannot for the life of me

make pancakes, whether they're pre-bottle ones or they're fully made by scratch. I cannot cook pancakes. Walk us through what's happening here. The pan does not need to be too hot for pancakes. Yeah, so it doesn't matter what I do, if it's too hot or too low, for some reason,

they'll always burn the outside and they'll always roar in the inside. I reckon you've got... Okay, you're going too hot too fast. Have you tried it on different pans? Oh, I've tried different pans, but my seven-year-old son, he just refused. When I go, should we have pancakes for Sunday? Yeah, no, Mum.

We're just going to McDonald's for pancakes. Yeah, good show sponsor. Great idea. Great pancakes, actually. They're hotcakes. Great pancakes. Pancakes. Yeah.

Oh, no. So you just, yeah. I think you've just got to lower the temp of the pan. More butter? Heat up the butter in it and just let it cook for a little bit and then always do more than one. The first one's always durable. What recipe are you following?

The Edmonds Cookbook? They've got a cracking pancake recipe. Oh, it's the best. I always got told if it starts to bubble, that's when you start to turn it. No, isn't it three bubbles pop? Ah, well, I make sure there was like a thousand bubbles on it. Yeah, that's too much.

A couple of bubbles and you're good. You know what? Anything in the kitchen, there is a YouTube tutorial. A YouTube tutorial. Even there's a YouTube tutorial on how to say YouTube tutorial. Exactly. Everything is on YouTube. I think you need to give yourself a bit of tutorial.

Yeah. And then this weekend, give it another try. Oh, I'm going to give it a hoot. Report back to us. Can we touch base again? Yep. Yes. And then if it doesn't work out, we'll give you our McCafe voucher next week, I think.

Because there's no helping you. Yeah, please do. And don't butter it up on purpose for the McCafe voucher. No, no, no, no, I won't. I promise. I'm not just going to give it it up on purpose for the McCafe voucher. No, no, no, no, I won't. We'll be fair. I'm not just going to give it away. Give a caller a McCafe voucher. Feed them for however long it takes them to get through $50.

Teach them to cook pancakes. They'll eat for a lifetime. Exactly. That's exactly the same. Thank you, Sarah. Some messages in. Touch typing. I mean, that's hard.

I've made it my own version. I work at a desk job and I'm a very fast typer, but I can't properly touch type. No, neither. Cutting cheese off the block. Yeah, it's hard, man. Using a knife or using a cheese sliver? Using a knife. You're hard. You'll never get it straight. You'll never get it straight. Folding fitted

sheets. Clicking my fingers. I mix up New Plymouth and Palmerston North. I know so many people that do that. mix up New Plymouth and Palmerston North. I know so many people that do that. Being from New Plymouth, the amount of people that say, I went to Palmerston North at the weekend. That's not where I'm from. It's the P and the N.

I'm a great cook, but for the effing life of me, I can't cook rice without it clumping. I like the microwave rice. Just Google it. Sometimes I have to Google to cook rice. I forget. Or get a rice cooker.

Rice cookers make the most amazing rice. Get a rice cooker. Get some stickers. Yes. Doing my bra up at the back. I do it up at the front and then do the full 180 twist around. No, I've got to go to the back. But every now and then you're a bit wonky and then the hook's into the skin and then they're flat there and that's

not good. That's not good. 36, I still struggle to use my knife and fork properly. Oh. I still can't separate my laundry. I can't remember what is light and what is dark. You look at it, don't you? They might be colourblind. It's not weight or anything. It's just whites and lights.

Also, I just chunk everything in the same one. Yeah, you do. Well, I don't have white T-shirts, so it doesn't matter. No, you don't. That's a smart way of living life. I can't pronounce renumeration. I work in a corporate role, so I tell my employees

that it's REM time. Hey, guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it,

but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. Yeah, see, I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah.

Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, nah. No, but only after ours. Yeah, nah, nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Yeah. Give us a, don't do that. And not more than ours.

Give us a sexy little review, though.