ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th July 2023

Episode Date: July 23, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. Happy Monday. Yeah, up the waz. Up the waz. Up the waz.

Bye this week, I think. So the Warriors are now third on the table. Yeah. Wow. Is it the year? Is that what you're saying? I'm going to say it. You're going to say it. You're going to say it.

You know, your brothers, Team the Broncos, they're up the top. Are they? He'll be happy about that. He'll be very happy about that. Should we get him on? We can talk about the game. Oh, no. There's no need for that.

No need for that. You're well and truly on the bandwagon, aren't you? Yeah, dude. Make room. The Warriors' Instagram account put up a funny meme at the weekend. It was like like you know an Avengers endgame when Captain America

is getting his ass kicked and he's like just and he's standing there ready to go another round and then all the Avengers that disappeared turn back up

yep so Captain America is the day one and all the people coming in with the bandwagon yeah which is good but then they were like

together we'll do it it's like I like that they're acknowledging there's a lot of bandwagon jumpers, which is you. But then they were like, together we'll do it. It's like, I like that they're acknowledging there's a lot of bandwagon jumpers with the Warriors. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Up the waz. Up the waz.

You know me, I've said it the whole time, though. I'm day one. You're a day one-er. Up the waz. Okay. Up the waz. Yeah, they've got a bye this weekend. Got a what?

A bye. That means they don't play, but they get the points of a win. So that's great. On the show today, more chances for you to go in the draw to be expense-free for the rest of 23. All thanks to One Roof Property. We will give you a chance before seven. So listen up for that activator.

It's going to play soon this morning. Also, thanks to American Airlines. Another week. Another chance for you to get a boarding pass. Today, do you want to know where our boarding passes are today? Santiago, Mexico City, and Beijing. Beijing! We've got some incredible destinations.

So you listen out for the activator. It'll be on the show sometime between 8 and 9 this morning. Get through, and we could be putting your name on one of these boarding passes, because this Friday we're doing the draw. Don't forget Santiago's not San Diego. No. It's not San Diego in a different language. Chile. It's different. Yeah, some incredible destinations, so all thanks

to American Airlines between 8 and 9 this morning on the show. The top six is coming up. Yes, the top six signs your university's out of money. Quite a few universities posting losses. Yes, a lot of them struggling, aren't they? Yeah, but should be able to turn it around with the return of international students, most are believed. Okay.

But I know the top six signs, yeah, your university's out of cash. Next on the show, we'll go to the fashion desk. Yes, yeah. Huge fashion trend coming out of China. And this is something that I could get behind. Well, it would have stopped your eyes this morning getting sunscreen in them. I've got, what a, my eye look terrible today.

And it's because I put on sunblock, because you should even in winter. Rubbed it straight in the eyes. It's all over. Do you use like a moisturizer that's got a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's booze, it's booze. So I'm not just whacking on a bloody

Cancer Society 120. It's boosh. It's boosh. So I'm not just whacking on a bloody Cancer Society 120. It's boosh. Come to life from the fashion desk. Because as you know, fashion is my passion. Still in a bit of a rut, actually. I was going to say, how's the rut? I still feel like I'm in it. Revisited the rut.

Well, now in my house, I don't have a mirror. So there's no mirror. I don't know what I look like until I get to work and I go in the lift. And then sometimes you're quite surprised when you walk in. You're like, my God, I'm so sorry. Sometimes I apologize. And sometimes I'm like, I'm sorry. This is so extraordinarily beautiful.

How will you work today? This is true. Easily destructive. Also, you did, when we visited your renovations at the weekend, show us your walk-in wardrobe, which I said you could probably get about $280 a week in rent for a small family. You could stay with your family in there.

Well, if the mortgage rates, you know, don't come down fast enough, I might have to. Anyway. I'm just saying, it was quite large. How many clothes are going in there? Me and Aaron got one thing each in that house. He got the massive shower. Anyway. I'm just saying it was quite large. How many clothes are going in there? Me and Aaron got one thing each in that house. He got the massive shower. Yeah. Which we all

agreed would be big enough for four to six. Yep. And I got the massive wardrobe. Anyway, so in China. But that's good that you're going to have a shower for four to six because when you take your lovers. They'll all come in. They'll all need to be washed. Yeah. Well I get the famous lover Jason's in there. Then there's Aaron. Then there's my female boyish lover.

Then there's me. So that's already four. Or just the family that you're subletting your wardrobe out to. Oh, no, they'll be paying extra for access to the shower. Oh, right. Okay. I could probably put a small shower in the wardrobe as well. Yeah, yeah.

So fashion news. In China, there's the rise of the face kini. Now this is essentially a balaclava made out of tog or like sweat wicking material. Because it's hot over there. Do you know what? It's actually hot everywhere. It is actually like, it's the end of the world, right? We're witnessing the apocalypse.

I just read an article this morning. I don't know why I start my day like this, that the Arctic Ocean could be ice-free by 2030. Now that's six and a half years away. Oh, I wanted to do an Antarctic cruise. No, you won't. I mean, you can still go. You can still do an Antarctic cruise.

You can't do an Arctic cruise. An Arctic cruise. So what about the Antarctic? When's that melting? Soon after. As we speak. As we speak. Sorry, literally as we speak.

Right, okay. But soaring temperatures in China, it's like too hot to wear a hat and then a mask. Because masks is a new idea to lots of us, but people in China have been wearing, you know, breathing masks for ages because they've got terrible pollution. Yeah. But now this protects them from pollution and UV radiation.

But you just look ridiculous. What do you mean she doesn't look ridiculous? It's a balaclava made out of talk material with a hole. It looks like one of those masks that they give burn victims You wouldn't be allowed in the petrol station with that on No, no It looks like a Mexican fighting mask You know those like

Minus like the cool Flames and stuff Yeah That would also be just It's not covering your mouth or your nose To keep the pollution out It's just covering the rest of your face Yeah, well it's just like a bigger

UV protection is the main thing. Do they not like using sunscreen? Or that's just cheaper and easier? I don't know. It would be doubling out.

Shade's mama, a very staunch Thai lady who called me lawn. Lawn? Vaughan. And they said Vaughan

and she said, in Thai, I don't want to try anymore. Yeah. She was like, this is what I call it. This is what I try. No, it's a Vn. And she said, in Thai, I don't want to try anymore. Yeah. She was like, this is what I call it. This is what I try. No, it's a V sound. She's like, no, I don't want to try anymore.

Yeah. She once told Sade she looked poor because she had a tan. Yes. Like, she was a woman who absolutely would wear, like, massive hats to cover it. You did not want any color. Was she all over the skin whitening creams as well? Skin bleaching, yeah.

She probably would have whitened some skin. But yeah, she said, you know, that always... Or because she had a tan. She looked like a field worker. Oh, right. Yeah, that's the idea behind it. Because when I've gone over to like Thailand and stuff, especially when it's our winter,

people are like, oh my God, your skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh no, it's so white. They're like, it's amazing. They love it. Yeah. Because yeah, there's like photos of people that got the your skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, no, it's so white. They're like, it's amazing. They love it. Yeah. Because, yeah, there's like photos of people that got the hat, that got the face-kini.

Yeah. Then they've got the umbrella. Then they've got the sweat-wicking sleeves and gloves. Well, this could be us in the 2035 summer, you know. Well, but speaking of gloves. Like, this is how bad it's going to get. You know, I've been thinking about a bit of Botox between the brows, just a light little something.

I just realised I'm getting quite wrinkly wrists. Oh, my God. I'm getting my dad's hands. Like, from there? Botox your wrist. Well, no, just like your little tuck. Says who? Like, pull it back.

Like a wrist tuck? Pull it down. A wrist tuck? Yeah, like a little wrist tuck. Right, okay. Nah, jokes. Love yourself. Love yourself and your wrinkly wrists.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, in the UK, a news story, it's taking people a lot longer to cross the road because of the ageing population and expanding waistlines. So at the moment, in the UK, just for a two-lane road, so not one of those like multi directional. Just a normal street. By the way, that's not a big thing, those multi directional.

Because I was walking over the road one day with someone from Canada, Canada, and they were just like, this is wild. You can go all directions at once. Oh, you mean you can go diagonals? We can go diagonals. Yeah. It also doesn't happen. I don't think it happens in Hamilton.

Yeah, I was like, it wasn't big in Wellington. It's big Auckland. Yeah, big cities, I think. But maybe only in New Zealand? No, and that Japanese crossing, that really famous Japanese crossing. That's right, that's right. So maybe in like big busy ones. Well, in the UK, if it's just a normal two-lane road,

you have 6.1 seconds to cross over the road. Shoot, that's quite quick. Yeah, and they're saying that with the ageing population and expanding waistlines, they're now making it 20% longer. And so you're going to have on just a two-way road 7.3 seconds. It's getting slower. Getting slower. How long does it go tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick?

Because that's green. And then it stops, but it still like flashes. Yeah, do you think that's what they mean is the six seconds? I reckon it's just green. Is six seconds just green? Because that flashing afterwards lasts for ages. Which is like don't start, but if you're on it, keep going. Yes. But those big multi-directional ones, they could give you 25, 30 seconds.

What does it matter to you? You take four seconds no matter what. If I see like six seconds, I'll be like, I can do that. In a big four-way one as well. I'll be like, I can do that. I always feel like I'm like cantering behind you like. Yeah, I walk quite fast. Anytime the three of us walk together, I feel like you just take a lot.

We're trying to get to breakfast. In your hands, he is hungry. We're trying to get to the food. He's storm he is hungry. We're trying to get to the food. He's storming to food. He is. And it was raining. And it was raining, so I was just trying to get out of the rain. And you did give up your umbrella so that me and Vaughn had an umbrella each.

What a good friend. What an absolute gentleman. Yeah. But he walks too fast, the rain goes under the umbrella. It just hits him in the face. Yes. Umbrellas are pointless unless he puts it forward and charges. Without looking at anyone?

Yeah. And then the umbrella will go inside out because he's walking so quick. These things happen. All right, 622 next on the show. Every year we get excited about this. It's the Kardashian wealth rankings. Who's at the bottom?

I mean, it's Rob. It's Rob. It's Rob, isn't it? I'm going to rank the Kardashians by wealth next. Is this going to make us sick with how much money they make? Yeah, well, at the bottom it's still pretty nice.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. But for now, we dive into the world of the Kardashian-Jenners. I think they list them every year, like after we know how much they've earned that year, the rankings of who is earning what. Once they've done their taxes.

They're just like the rest of us, guys. They have to do... I just don't feel that's true at all. At all. Okay, let's start at the bottom. And last place of who is the richest out of the Kardashian-Jenner's, we've got Rob.

With a net worth of $10 million. Earned himself. Would that just be from when he was on the TV show? Are they on strike at the moment? Because of the writers' strike? Or are they technically, because it's a

reality show? Yeah. And I say there's no writers. There's some fingers up. I say reality. There are some fingers there. Are they members of SAG and WAG? No. No.

The Kardashians. Let's be honest. There are writers for that show, right? Well, there's craft people. They have to point a story in the right. But they wouldn't be called writers? They would be like producers and stuff? Yeah, executive producers.

And those aren't on strike? It's just writers? It's writers and actors. But then you've got production shutting down. Kim Kardashian slammed by writers strike protesters on Twitter, asking fans what they've been doing. Nah, I don't think she's part of it. You don't think she's SAG?

Yeah, right. SAG affiliated. Anyway, Rob, $10 million. I mean, he's got socks. He's got a sock company, I think. Is she's part of it. You don't think she's SAG? Yeah, Rob's SAG affiliated. Anyway, Rob, $10 million. I mean, he's got socks. He's got a sock company, I think. Is he still doing the socks? Still doing socks. Yeah, Arthur George.

And then on the last episode, what I didn't watch, I haven't watched Fridays, but the week before, it was his daughter's birthday party. Right. And so he was kind of like, he wasn't there,

but he's like on the phone. So there's like sniffing that he might come back on the show. Oh, really? It was his daughter's birthday party and he wasn't on the phone. So there's like sniffing that he might come back on the show. Oh, really? It was his daughter's birthday party and he wasn't at the birthday party. He was there but he wasn't on camera. He wasn't on camera.

It's his whole thing. It's like he's never on camera. Okay, I don't want to be on camera. But he was on the phone which we haven't heard of him for a while. Okay. All right, just above him, how embarrassing

with a net worth of 60 million. Oh, is that all? Yeah. Chloe. It's Kendall. Yeah. This is your fave. She's your fave. Oh, is that all? Yeah. It's Kendall. Yeah. This is your fave. She's your fave.

Yeah, but they've had less time to accumulate this money because they were kids during so much of their fame. I thought her tequila company would have boosted her. Yeah, it definitely has. Yeah, but it's not until you sell it. Yeah. Yeah. Victoria's Secret, she earns about $22 million a year.

She was doing wake surfing on Instagram at the weekend where you get someone to slowly drive a boat and then you surf the wake behind it. Right, okay. It was like this really posh boat. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, they're not using a 1970s. They're not using Dad's old Haynes Hunter?

No. They're not popping out for a 17 footer Haynes Hunter? Now she shares this position of second to last with Chloe. Yeah, I would have thought Chloe would have been down there because she doesn't have

the business investments. Well, she's got the good American genes. Oh, okay. And that's still so much money. So much money. Yeah, rich basketball boyfriend.

How's Courtney ahead of them, by the way? Courtney's in because she got poosh. She got pud me? She got poosh. What is poosh? It's poosh. Yeah, it's her website, her wellness website.

It's kind of like Goop. Like Goop, yeah. Yeah. So she's above with a mere 62 million. 65 million, I beg your pardon. Are we about to jump a huge gap in wealth? Oh, yeah, it sounds like it. Well, above Courtney, we've got Mum.

Chris, yeah. Chris. She's 230 million. That's a big gap. You've got her povo daughters. Yeah. Yeah. The povos at 60 mil.

Mum's got 230. Then just above her, top two? Kim's second? No, Kylie's second. Because Kylie sold a whole bunch of her makeup thing. And so Kylie's, I don't know, pittance, $750 million. How embarrassing. You don't want to borrow some money, hun.

And Kim is number one with $1.7 billion. So like leagues ahead. Leagues ahead. That is like, all of that is insane money. If we were going out for dinner, I'm Kendall or whatever, if we're going out for dinner, I'm not paying. You're never paying. I'm not paying for anything.

I'd forward Kim my bloody power bill. Yeah, Kim's paying, right? Pay that? Yeah. You're going to pay that? I'm not going to'd forward Kim my bloody power bill. Yeah, Kim's paying, right? Pay that? Yeah. You're gonna pay that? I'm not gonna do that. You're a billionaire. Pay it. Wow, 1.7. And then add all of that up. Don't. No, don't. It's billions.

It's billions of dollars. Don't do it. Wow. Hello. Waikato University lost a lot of money. $16.8 million deficit last year. Now, they're saying it's to do with some one-off costs. Right. They teamed up with the fact that they haven't got back to their pre-COVID foreign student numbers.

Because, man, foreign students pay so much money. I know. Like, when you look at, like, it's even expensive for, you know, Kiwis to go to university. But then, like, the student. They pay, like, four times as much. Yeah, it's insane money. Apparently, the year before also, numbers were up,

but it was heaps of people going back and just adding a year on to their already existing degree. Oh, yeah. Checking a master's on there or something. Yeah, right. To give them some more employment options. Of course. Yeah. So 2022, where there was not as much money coming through the doors.

So they said, should be sweet. Yeah. Which one here from university? Should be sweet. Yeah. You were here from university? Should be sweet. Yeah. You were saying we're out of all the top eight unis. A lot of them have lost money. Six of the eight, yeah, have lost money in 2022.

Had a little deficit there. So I've got the top six signs your university is out of money. Number six on the list. It's just the uni now. I mean, we all call it uni. And they just can't afford the V-E-R-S-I-T-E-S-I-T-Y. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no.

That's because he didn't go to university. Do you want me to do it? Uni they can afford. I went to private school and to uni. V-E-R-S-I-T-Y. Okay. On the sign anymore. Right.

That makes it a whole lot longer. You have to sell them off. Yeah. Sell off the letters, and they won't have to pay for them going forward. Great idea. That's smart thinking. Number five on the list of the top six signs your university's out of money. They don't have an accounting department anymore

because that would be hypocritical to try to teach you about accounting when obviously they can't control their own money. So you just can't study accounting anymore? Nah, which you might see as being more of a problem than a problem reducer. But they just couldn't stand being called hypocrites. Number four on the list of the top six signs your university's out of money.

They haven't upgraded the computers. They've actually downgraded the computers to typewriters. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's just the cheaper way of doing things. Cheap ones too. Yeah, cheap old trash ones. And, like, the J and the T don't work.

So you're constantly like... I was just taken back To one Christmas As a family We got a typewriter For a gift What a shit gift Oh my god

Typewriters are awesome No no no no no no In fact I want to remember Dad has still got it It was a 90s typewriter It wasn't like a Clack clack clack clack clack

Little things go up Tap tap tap Which would have Why was Who was that a gift from? I think it was like Every now and every Christmas, every so often,

our family would get a family gift. Oh. Oh. Mum and dad would get it. Weird. It would be marketed as a family gift.

Weird. But this thing, you had to buy a... Sounded like they got it free. Ink ribbon or... I think it might have been free with 300 litres of drench or something like that

from the dairy company. But you had to feed in the heat. Remember fax paper, the heat transfer? But you had to feed in the heat. Remember fax paper, the heat transfer? Yes. And it wouldn't use ink. It would just like scorch the paper a little bit

and it would like print it. Weird, weird gift. That was the paper we had. God, bizarre. It would probably like be quite cool now because it was so 1990s. Very retro.

Where are you going to find fax paper? Yeah, I don't know. It was so glossy. You can't write on it with a pen. Well, it was receipt paper, wasn't it? Yeah. Those receipts that you leave in your wallet and it stops working. Number three on the list of the top six signs your university is out of money. They're selling vapes to make

ends meet. They've even put up a sign that says vapes. The ram raids have gone up. There's a vape store in the quad. Yeah. Right there. Yeah, what are you huffing? I've got a bit of Vic Uni. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Righto. I'm more Otago.

It smells like wet woolen jumpers and cigarettes. Delicious. Number two on the list of the top six signs your university's out of money. The economics department cries every time they're talking

about interest rates. Yeah. Poor economics department. And number one on the list of the top six signs your university's Out of money They're converting all the fields To farmland

And getting chickens Yeah that's good They're going to become Self-sufficient Well eggs are so expensive Eggs are like Be a good money maker Growing lettuce is easy

Yeah Lettuce is the easiest Lettuce and egg sandwich It's the little white M-O-T-H-E's They get on the They get on the cabbages And eat the holes

And the Yeah bastard The lettuce is That little buggers I'm going to need some nets To put over it That is today's top six M-O-T-H-E's they get on the they get on the cabbages and eat the holes and the the lettuces they're little buggers I'm gonna need some nets to put over it that is today's top six countdown did a big survey recently

for parents with kids at school and what's happening in their lunch boxes what are they eating I also just read an article before that there's a place in Australia, I think, that have banned Vegemite sandwiches because they're like,

it's not enough nutrition. I was like, what? My parents used to jam a sandwich together last minute with whatever was there. A hundred percent. Yeah. Or just like smear a bit of PB and J. I got home last week.

Yeah. And there was no protein home last week. Yeah. And there was no protein for my sandwich. Okay. I'm going to have a bit of meat on the sand. Whatever it is. There was no champagne, champagne, champagne ham. It doesn't matter. I made my own.

I found a can of Spam. It says return to Spam. How do you have a can of Spam? Why? Every now and then at the supermarket, I'm like, I love spam. I've never eaten it. Yum. Well, I actually get, this wasn't a spam.

It was a tinned corned beef. So you had a corned beef sandwich. It was like a palmed tinned corned beef. Dude, yum. I opened it up, and what I did is I chopped up, I diced some onion, and I got some chili oil, and I mixed mixed that in and I mixed it all around. Yum. Yuck.

Yum. There's some in the fridge and that's all I'm looking forward to today. I like... I've got nothing else to live for apart from that delicious little mix waiting for me in my refrigerator. If you'd taken that to school,

you would have been teased. Nah. Yeah. I don't think so. I only got teased if my mum made me an egg sandwich because then you'd open up your lunch box. Dude, I ate the egg sandwich.

There was an aroma, right? You'd be like, don't give me egg sandwiches. Some of the info out of this, one in five parents believe their kid is swapping lunch at school. I didn't swap them because I think I've shared this before and I say this as a reformed woman. I used to steal when I was a kid at primary school. I used to steal people's lunches.

That is ruthless. So wild. How young? Because I remember that happened when Indy first started school. Yeah, like five, six, seven. Kids that hadn't been to kindy, they just went straight to school, weren't sure of the like. Kopapa.

Of how it worked. Yeah. Right. And be like, oh, at home if I see something and I want to eat it, I just eat it. Yeah, but there was always swapping though, wasn't there? Always swapping. Yeah.

Because I never, I wasn't allowed roll-ups or yonks. Food for yonks. And then it was always the kids that got all the junk food, like the chips and roll-ups, that wanted the actual sandwiches. Yeah, they wanted a sandwich. They'd be like, please let me have an apple. I used to deal in Raro, you know, like give me a couple of bumps of Raro,

if you give me that. Roll up. Back in the day where you just lick your finger and stick it in the thing and you do that around the, and then at the end of the trip around the playground, the sachet would be all like crumbly because everybody's wet finger had been in it. Come on, kids, surprise. Man, COVID would have torn through this place in the 80s.

One in 11 parents say that, what in 11? Weird. Weird stat. Weird stat. Say that lots of food is coming home uneaten. And parents are like, well, you know, the price to feed you is on the rise every day. This is why you don't have kids. They're ungrateful shitbags.

I always do that at the end of the day. I'm like, get your lunchboxes out and clean out your lunchboxes. And they'll be like, there's some stuff left. I'll be like, well, that aisle will shitbags. I always do that at the end of the day. I'm like, get your lunch boxes out and clean out your lunch boxes. And they'll be like, there's some stuff left. I'll be like, well, that aisle will eat it. Yeah, right. I'm not having that go to waste. Because if I didn't eat my lunch, I'd come home, but there'd be a platter, you know, so I'd be able to,

because my mother would make me an afternoon charcuterie. Made you an afternoon charcuterie. Yeah. Lots of people know. I didn't eat my lunch, but I still wanted my platter. Yeah. So that, because of course,

things like eggs, yogurt, cheese, like yogurt and cheese, it's such, that's an easy lunchbox, Phil. Yeah.

And that's, the price is up so much. Yogurt was always a bit come hard for me because it had warmed up by the time I got to lunchtime. Yeah, it was always warm.

We never really had, I didn't like the fruit lumps. Yogurt. Yeah, the fruit lumps. And the yogurt. I always wanted the chocolate vignette one. It was always the fresh and fruity.

Vignoire? Vignoire? What was the... There was a chocolate one and it was pud. It was straight up pud. And that was after a while, whoever is in charge of labelling food was like, you can't market that as yogurt.

What, this choc pud? This choc pud. Damn it. What about the butterscotch pud? No, no, no. Any of them. They've got to be called dairy foods now. I suppose we could...

It doesn't exactly say pud, even though it is definitely just pud. Yeah. Well, look, if you're lucky enough for your mother to make you a lunch today, or your father to make you a lunch, or anyone... You eat it, you little shit. You eat it, you ungrateful... Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This happened in February this year.

His name was Jobby Poole. How are you, Jobby? Jobby Poole. Wait, how's it spelled? It's Jobby, like Toby. J-O-B-Y. Jobby. No, surely it's Toby.

A capital J and a capital T look the's Toby. No, it's a J. A capital J and a capital T look the same, except the T is in the ending. I'm on the internet, Vaughn. It's not handwritten. No, but that's not it. I'm not saying you've made the mistake. I'm saying when his father or mother put in the birth certificate,

they must have just put a flick on the bottom of the T. No, but it's like some people like to zhuzh up a name, don't they? Yeah. Joby. It could be Hyobby for all we know. We don't know. It could be Dobby the house elf. I think you're right.

The dad came home and the mum was like, did you write down Torby's name? I thought you said Jobbe. Anyway, Jobbe Poole. Jobbe's not going to go with his last name. Poole? Poole? Poole.

P-O-O-L. Like the swimming. Jobbe Poole. Jobbe. He's 32 years old from Tingley near Leeds. P-O-O-L. Like the swimming. Jobby Pool. Jobby. He's 32 years old from Tingley near Leeds. Piss off. Now that's... Jobby Pool from Tingley.

We're all... This is just made up now. This is AI generated content. AI write me a story. That's a good website, eh, for news. AI write me a story that's semi-believable about a British person. Oh, they will name him Jobby Pool from Tingley. This isn't made up because I remember this news story

when it happened. It was everywhere. Yeah, so he took a trailer to an industrial unit in Telford and stole 200,000 Cadbury cream eggs. It was a great heist right before Easter. Exactly. The haul of Easter eggs valued at more than about $60,000 New Zealand dollars. Wow, okay.

That's a lot of cream egg. And the bad cream eggs too, not when they were good and runny. Not now grey, but grainy now. Yeah. So he has been sent to jail. The sentencing has occurred. He got nine months in jail. Six months he's already been in there.

What are you like in prison with murderers and like really serious criminals? What are you in for? Yeah, I set a local shop on fire. What did you do? Well, I'm Joby Poole. You might have heard me.

You might have heard me in my crimes. I'm Joby Poole. From Tingley. From Tingley. I'm from Tingley. I stole some eggs of the chocolate variety. How many? 200,000. I don't know what happened to the eggs at the end of that.

Joby Poole. From Tingley. So he was. He had admitted to it. He was like, yeah, I done it. And pleaded guilty to it. He was like, yeah, I done it. And pleaded guilty to criminal. You caught me.

Nine months. So he's pleaded guilty to criminal damage to a lock at the trailer park. So he stole the trailer park. Okay. Trailer, sorry. Yeah. And driving without insurance. So they would have just been trying to load it all up to punish him.

He said it was a spur ofof-the-moment thing. Oh, he said, no, he said it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing, I beg your pardon. There'd been significant planning of this great heist of the... Of the eggs. ...Cabry Cream Eggs. Right. Yeah, he's off to prison. He's only got three more months left to go.

Because he's served, he's already served like six. He's done six. Right. Significant planning. He'll be home in Tanglee soon. He's already served like six. He's done six. Right. Significant planning. He'll be home in Tinglee soon. He'll be back in Tinglee. Home back in Tinglee. With his missus, Jobbe.

She's also Jobbe. She's Jobbe. Two Bs. Yeah. And I'm Jobbe. One B. The way the pool's from Tinglee. Silly little poll is next on the show.

Barbie versus Oppenheimer. Huge weekend for Barbie in the American box office. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole today. Which first? Which? Out of Barbe or Oppenheimer?

The two movies of the American summer. Yeah, the summer blockbuster, the American summer blockbuster. So over the weekend, Barbie beat Oppenheimer. A $77 million debut. Barbie was always going to earn more money than Oppenheimer. Big, broader appeals for sure. Is that true? Maybe not.

I think so. It was always going to be commercially, but appeals for sure. Is that true? Maybe not. I think so. It was always going to be commercially, but then cinematically, Oppenheimer is... You haven't seen Barbie yet. Cinematically, incredible. Yeah, Greta Gerwig doesn't mess around. I'm going to book tickets. So the weekend movie tickets haven't come up yet

for this coming weekend. I'm going to book Oppenheimer. I tried for yesterday, and you could maybe get one in the front row on the side. Only bad seats. So I'm going to book today for next weekend. And I'm going to see Barbie tomorrow. So you're going to see both these movies this week.

I'm excited. So 72% of respondees said they would be seeing Barbie first. And Oppenheimer, 28% of people going to Oppenheimer first. Neither, says Carl. Both look terrible. All right. Negative. Oh my God.

Cheer up, Charlie. Yeah. They also both don't look terrible. They fundamentally don't look terrible. They look phenomenal. Yeah. They both look really amazing.

Absolutely incredible. They both look amazing. I think that responder had a bad day and we'll forgive them. Kelly said, I booked to see Oppenheimer first because it's less busy with everybody going to Barbie. Not true. But it's not.

I haven't found it's less busy. Or maybe not the big, big screens. Because, like, your IMAX and your V and your P and your Q1s or whatever. I think you put your P's and your V's. Is there a bit of that in Oppenheimer? Whatever they call these mega screens or whatever. Because Barbie's got no P's and V's. Famously, it was just a mound.

Just an M. Gemma says, Oppenheimer first saved the best till last. Oh, okay. Headlining. Yeah. Because Barbie's soundtrack gave me the ick, and I don't think I would survive that, says Mel. Oh, okay.

The soundtrack rules. Speaking of Lizzo. Yeah. Great song. She's on it. Well, okay. Oh, my God, the soundtrack rules. Speaking of Lizzo. Yeah. Great song. She's on it. Well, I wonder what about it gave Mel the ick. Hmm. Too poppy, maybe.

Amanda said, Barbie with BFF and Oppenheimer with BF. Oh, yep, yep. I agree with that. She's got a girl date for Barbie and a boy date for Oppenheimer. Caitlin said, did it yesterday. Barbie was a much-needed palate cleanser after Oppenheimer yeah because I've heard Oppenheimer is quite

intense intense and at the end you're like oh okay yeah maybe we're all screwed it did stop all

the old school way of doing war Ashley my friends and I have planned this out our local cinema is showing Oppenheimer at 2pm

we're watching that then going for a couple of cocktails, then coming back for Barbie at 7. So that works. Two in one day. Yeah, they're going to double bill it. Aye, aye, aye. I've seen a few people doing that.

What's the Barbie run time? Because Oppenheimer's three hours. Yeah, it's like two hours. And three hours, that's like eight toilet breaks for you. You're worse than Vaughn. Within the first half? Yeah. I run.

Oh, yeah, I'm terrible. I run. Barbie's run time is one hour 54. I'm going to live on a school night, too. One hour 54. And Justine said Barbie because fun first. Yeah. Got to put your fun first.

Got to put your fun first. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. What happened? I broke my phone case. Remember it was getting really manky? It was like one of those

leather ones and it snapped here and did a little thing. Had that orange mould. Yeah, it was mouldy. Mouldy like a lot of things in my life. Anyway,

and I slipped it off and I just felt what it's like to hold the iPhone as is. Raw. Raw. And I liked it. No. So I went caseless for some time.

I was going to order a new one, and I kept sort of hopping online and being like, oh, yeah, but they're expensive. And I was like, I don't need it. The iPhone, surely by the, this is just a 12. Surely it's more, you know, resilient these days. And people would like pick up my phone and be like, oh my God, you don't have a case on it.

I'd be like, I know, how nice does that feel? I'm absolutely living my best life. Some people call it privilege. Well, yesterday, and I had a big weekend, so this is not related to that at all. I survived two big nights out, nothing. Absolutely nothing. There's been a couple of chips on it because, you know,

you drop your phone every now and then. Yeah. Yesterday, I got out of my car and it slipped out of my flimsy-whimsy pocket and it hit the deck on the ground. Now, it was face down. You just nearly dropped it again. Well, it's useless to me. It was face down and I pulled it up and I was like, she's all good.

You just look at that, you're like, she's all good. And I was like, I told you this thing's resilient. Yeah. Who needs a case? And then I was playing on it yesterday and I was like, oh, no, yeah, I've broken the screen. And I've smashed a little corner and that's going to turn into a knife. It's going to run.

Yeah. But I was like, oh, gee, I'll buy a case. I'll get a – I didn't even have a screen protector on it. Yeah. I'll get a protector. We'll stop that right there. And then yesterday I was trying to film some stuff for my renovation page at Mill Cottage Reno. Yes. See you there. And then yesterday I was trying to film some stuff for my renovation page at Mill Cottage Reno.

Yes. See you there. And then suddenly I couldn't use the Ford camera. It's just a black screen. And I was like, bugger that. So I had to keep using the reverse camera, which still works. Yep. And then the day was getting on and I had to use the torch

because I've got no power in the back of the house. That's not working. Oh, yeah. That says it's on. That's not working. But there's no torch there, is there? Yeah. There was a third thing that it wasn't doing.

How long? Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on? I've done that. I've done factory. I've done all that. I've restored it. How many times did I say you need to get a case? I reckon daily for about three months.

Yeah. And you were like, oh, cases are too expensive. But, like, literally, how much is that going to cost to fix? I don't think you can fix it. I think it's a replace. But I don't think it's going to be under Apple warranty because you can absolutely see that this did not have a case on it. Like, there's chunks of it missing.

I don't know if it has to be in a case because they make it like that. Yeah. It's just that it's over two years old, right? So it's outside AppleCare. Got this January last year. Does AppleCare cover you dropping your phone, though? Well, actually, work paid for this. Okay, right.

So if we could just keep this hush and don't tell Ross. I don't know if work paid. No, they don't. Cover this for me. Did work give a case? Oh, yeah. They did. Oh, wow, they did, right.

They gave you the manky case. It was ugly. I'm not using that boring ass case. And it got mouldy. And it got mould it was ugly. It was ugly. I'm not using their boring ass case. And it got mouldy. And it got mouldy, yeah. Anyway, so I've got a broken phone now. I can't film anything. Can't take photos.

Can't use a torch. And I live in the dark. So it's really not good. And whose fault is this? Which would you like to say? I told you so. I told you so. And it doesn't feel good to say.

It does. It does. The fault 100% lies with Hayley Jane Sproul of Wellington. I was about to say, I wish we could do radio but with a visual medium. Now I believe there's a name for it. It's called TV. I think it's called TV.

Because there is a woman who claims she's received the worst haircut ever and I will say it is slightly reminiscent of the sister's haircut in Fleabag, season two. So I look like a pencil. Yes. Kind of. She wanted a chic. Oh, my God.

What the hell? Let me try and describe it. She wanted like a chic, asymmetric bob. Again, if you haven't seen Fleabag Season 2, essentially that's what she wanted, right? Was a chic, asymmetric bob. What has she got here? She's got...

The fringe isn't even straight, though. The fringe isn't straight nor full enough. No. It's very thin. Then I would say at the back of the head, like it's sloping down from the back of the head to the front of the face. Yeah.

But it's gone, like, below the shoulder at the front and halfway up the back of her head at the back. And he's also nicked her brows. He's nicked the brows. Like, while he was shaving the fringe. Look at that fringe. It is the most raggedy thing. Where did she go?

No, she went somewhere weird. This is like when someone's like, I've got a great deal. I've got to grab one voucher for a haircut and it's only going to cost me $7. And you're like, you are going to get what you pay for. And then they come back with some wacky dye job

and it was like some kid that was training at course and that was why it was so cheap. And that was why it was $7. And then they're like, well how did this happen to me? It's like you paid $7. He did, he shaved the brows. Because sometimes you'll see on TikTok, they'll get a razor right and they'll put it here and they'll go

to cut like a nice straight line rather than with scissors. They'll get a razor and just boop it. So the whole time he's just going through the eyebrows, putting slits all through her eyebrows. She said the whole time she kept going, oh, that's not quite right. It's not quite right.

She tipped him 10% in the end. I mean, she's been too generous here. But she doesn't say it wasn't like some kind of random super cheap place. She was just a normal. A normal hairdresser. Yeah. Right. I mean, in the video, you've got to feel bad for the girl.

She's crying. She's got home and cried. Yeah, yeah. She's absolutely upset. Now, I've said, because one of my dear friends, Shari, who does my hair and is a dear friend, I've asked her, like, have you ever really stuffed up? But I think she said maybe once. I mean, they are already human, right?

Yeah, and she was like, oh, God, sorry, and I'll just fix it. Yeah. But I think she said maybe once she didn't do a good job. And she was like, oh, God, sorry, and I'll just fix it. But never to the point of tears. I definitely got to grab one once before I had a hairdresser and asked for a trim and ended up with a very, very short hair. I also remember I did hair modelling when I was young and I said not too short and they gave me a faux hawk. So when it wasn't like spiked up

the top layer was like five centimetres. It looked terrible. We want to take your calls and get some messages in of when did you cry? After a haircut. I love these stories. It's too good not to bounce on the back of this

because you look funny. Yeah. You know? And then you have to look funny for some time. But it grows back. Until it doesn't grow back. Give it so slowly. But it's when, like, you,

especially when people get a haircut or they're getting their hair ready for an event and the clock is ticking and you've got a few hours till you're at this event. You've just come out with this horrible haircut. Yes. A fringe. Or before like a wedding or a ball. Oh, I know.

It just makes me nervous. When did you cry after a haircut? Okay, give us a call. 0800 DALS at Emma's number. You can text through 9696. We're going to laugh with you. With you. Absolutely. We can all laugh. We're going to laugh with you. With you. With you. We can all laugh.

At past you. At past you. We're laughing at past you. We don't know. They might be rocking it right now. Then we'll be laughing at present you. And we will be asking for photos. We want to know when you cried after getting a haircut.

How bad was it? What made it so bad? What went wrong? Was it you? Was it them? Maybe the hairdresser nicked your brows while he was doing the fringe with the clippers. With the clippers, which just feels dangerous to me. Gemma, when did you cry after a haircut?

Yeah, so this was a long time ago, but it's traumatised me ever since. And I don't trust hairdressers anymore. So I had it done when I was, like, 21. I'm, like, 31 now. And I went into my haircut saying that I just want something different. Oh, no, no, no. That's on you. I had, like, really long hair at the time, and he ended up just cutting it shorter and shorter and shorter.

And then the next minute, I had this, like, A-frame haircut, like, asymmetrical haircut with, like, one side above my ear and the other side below. Yes. Gemma, this is what this woman's looks like, like that lopsided sort of lob, but it's just all wrong. So when did you cry? When you got back home or in the car?

No, actually in the bathroom with the hairdresser. Oh, she couldn't keep it in. She couldn't, actually in the bathroom with the hairdresser. Oh, you just couldn't keep it in? You just couldn't keep it in? No, I couldn't. Because, like, mum was there with me and she, like, you know how mums, like, trigger it out of you? Like, get it out of you? She's like, how's the haircut, Gemma?

And I was like, I don't know. She had just, like, watered down my face. Like, down my face. How long did it take to grow out? A long time. I don't know. You know how they say when you cut the hair on a certain time, like it was the moon?

I don't know. I've heard that song about that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You lost me completely. During the moon.

What? It takes longer. Yeah, apparently. I love it. I didn't see it yet, but like, Yeah, apparently. I love it. I can't say it, but like, yeah. Just nodding. Gemma, the swearing was the least offensive part of what you just said. It was more the mentioning of the moon.

I love that. Gemma, thank you for sharing. Poor Gemma. There are a lot of people that have been so upset after a haircut. Never ask for something different during the moon. No. Exactly. We learn. Oh different during the moon. No. Exactly. We learn.

Oh, my God, so many. Year 12 ball. Mum sussed me a hairdresser. She didn't tell me the neighbour who hadn't done hairdressing for 10 years was the person that she got to deal with. Showed the neighbour a few pictures. Ended up looking nothing like the pictures. I got home and Dad cracked up laughing and said it looked like a dog

had done a poo on my head. And Mum spent an hour trying to fix it while I bawled the entire time. Did she have like a big probably like a bun on the head or something that you had a big up to?

Yeah. Now, someone has said I have quite tight curly hair so I can understand it isn't the easiest to cut. The amount of times I've just asked for a taper

on the sides and I've ended up looking like a mushroom is more than once. Curly girls have to go to a specialist. A curly specialist. Like someone who knows how to do curly hair.

Yeah, because like Aaron's got this like super, super curly ringlets as well. And if you go to the wrong person, he gets like... Yeah. Like a round, like a real circle. Yes. Like a poodle. Like a poodle. Okay.

Curly hair. I'd never knew you were a curly haired specialist. You a poodle. Like a poodle. Okay. Curly hair. I'd never knew you were a curly haired specialist. Keep your texts coming in 9696 0800 dials at him. Where did you cry after a haircut? Oh, this is funny. We're learning from you when you've got a bad haircut so bad that it made you cry. Because a

woman in the UK got one done and it is not chic. It's atrocious. Atrocious. Yeah, always check that. At least your hairdresser has qualifications by the looks of this story. It's like she went for a bowl cut, but the bowl tilted forward over her eyes. It's kind of the vibe of it.

Taryn, when did you cry after a haircut? Morning. Morning. I was about eight and I went to the hairdresser just to get a little trim and I walked out with a mullet. Oh, my gosh. How many ways did you walk in with a mullet and she did just give it a little trim to make it a slightly more tidier mullet?

It was probably below my shoulders. Oh, no. Why did the hairdresser do this? Was she just not very good? Look, to be sure, I'm not sure if she liked my mum all that much. Oh, my God. Is your mum one of those mums? Did your mum come in and give her too many notes

and stuff up my precious daughter's hair? I don't think so. I don't know what it was, but I walked out and I was like, look at my haircut. My mum's like, wow, that's great. Oh, good for her for trying. Yeah, it wasn't until I got to school and then I got called a boy and, you know, all of that.

And it was school photo week. It's always school photo week. Photo please. That's why you're getting a haircut, right? Because it's school photo week. Exactly. Oh, amazing. Taryn, thank you so much.

Lisa, when did you cry after a haircut? Yeah, so I was a poor student and had a friend who just finished her hairdressing training thing. I can, you know, I can film it for you. We all have that friend. She's just finished course. I know. Yeah.

And I have very thick, frizzy, unruly hair, and so I said, I have to be able to tie it up because it's so crazy. Yeah. And so it went from below my shoulders to like a bowl cut around my chin. Oh, no, not good for frizz. Not good for frizz. It was at her house, so I had no mirror until she pulled it out.

Then she was like, it looks great, hey? And I was like, um. We have different opinions on what great is. It doesn't look great. Did you wait until she left until you cried? Yeah, I got home and rung my dad and said, I need money for a wig because I can't even tie it up. I need like bobby pins

to get it out of my face. Did you get a wig? No, he said, I'm sure it's not that bad. Just turn the video on and I'll have a look. And bless him, he was, oh, what if you just pull the front back? Oh no, that doesn't work either. Oh, what if you just... Dad's always got a couple of solutions. He did try.

He said, it'll grow back. What if you clip it here and then put a little... Yeah, no, that's not working, is it? Brilliant, Lisa. Thanks for sharing. Steve, when did you cry after a haircut? Oh, yeah. How are you guys?

First time. Oh, God. Yes! Fantastic. Welcome. Welcome to the show, Steve. All right. Sorry, let me just pull over.

I've just got to find a little safe spot over here. Okay, you know it's good. Safety first. I'll read a text while we wait for Steve. Yeah, no, do that. You pull over, Steve. Got to grab one for an ombre. Okay. Oh, my God.

I grab one to ombre. I feel like grab one's getting a bit of stick here. Like, there's nothing wrong with grab one. No, no, no, no. But not for haircuts. No, it's fine. Some people do do them. Of course, there's plenty of decent haircuts on Graboine. Yeah, of course. We love

it. Well, this would beg to differ and we haven't had any saying. I've had a fantastic one. I was naturally dark blonde hair, yet during the ombre, it went bright orange. She didn't even use a comb to cut my hair, yet during the ombre, it went bright orange. She didn't even use a comb to cut my hair, just told me to stand up and shake my head, and then

cut freehand across the bottom once the hair had sat. Not even layers, just one chunk across the ends. Oh, wow. I went straight to the shop to buy a box dye afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. I had an industrial bar piercing in my ear, ripped out by the hairdresser during a haircut

and I didn't even cry. Now, that's the one that goes through two parts of your ear. Yeah, and we had a big rod through it. Yeah. Oh, you're going to have a manky ear now. Steve's good to go. Steve, when did you cry after the haircut? Now we've...

Oh, sorry, Steve. We shouldn't take you off hold, Steve. He had you on hold. I actually didn't put him on hold. Oh. I actually didn't put him on hold. So. I actually didn't put him on hold. So somebody put him on hold while he was pulling over. Kick off, Steve.

You were in London. So, yeah, living in London quite a few years ago, and as you know, all our laundry was drying, like a Chinese laundry in our flat, because there's never sunshine over there. And I went to duck underneath our doorway and didn't quite make it through the doorway and cracked my head open on the side of the doorframe.

Ended up splitting my head open, went to hospital. Had a young doctor that came to repair my said wound, but ended up blowing his surgical glove to my head. Sorry. It was a bright blue surgical glove. Yes head. Sorry. It was a bright blue surgical glove. Yes, it was. You have to be able to see them so you don't leave them in the wound.

Yeah. And he was kind of like, yeah, oops, sorry. And it's like, well, you know, that's not good. The split was on the very top of my head, so it's not something you could really hide that well. Just tuck the glove away, yeah. So he cut the glove off at the sort of as close as he could kind of get, but I still had like chicken giblets, whatever they are, flapping around at the top,

so I had to go to the hairdresser to get it. Wait, were the giblets the glove? Like a chicken comb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, but was the chicken comb the glove or loose skin? No, the glove. It wasn't loose skin, no. It was glove.

Oh, no. Okay, so you had to go to the hairdresser. I had to go to the hairdresser to get it fixed up and ended up, like, happy to get it quite cut short. Right down, number one, number two. Like, on top and long on the sides. And like I said, it wasn't really much of a hair setting trend. So I had to go back to work the next day and being a school teacher in front of, you know,

not a 10 year old. Dude. Mr. Steve looks like a fool. Did you cry in the staff room? It was, I did shed quite a few man tears. It wasn't the greatest, but anyway, those are the things you live in abroad, you enjoy the

experience. Exactly. Also, Steve, the teachers I know that taught in Britain said that the behaviour of the British public school child is savage. My friend used to cry to and from teaching in the UK. Well, this was in London as well,

so you can imagine it'll be like 10 times worse. Yeah. Steve. Joby Paul from Tingley. Thank you for sharing. You're getting right in there. Yeah. A couple of texts to finish when you cried after a haircut.

My daughter got a haircut when she was in Germany. Oh, yeah. If I'm just visiting, I'm not getting a haircut there, you know. No, neither. They've got different trendsings than we do. Yeah. You know? She got the haircut and then got shown it in the mirror

and burst into tears. And it turns out that the German man doing the haircut believed she was a male. She cried and then just asked the guy to shave it off. Yeah, you'd have to go buzz off. And he had no idea what was going on. Oh, my God. It's so good.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodaneli. Play ZM. As you know, I'm renovating my house at the moment, so I don't have a bathroom. Yeah. I don't have a laundry. I don't have a washer. I don't have a dryer.

Don't have a toilet. Don't have a shower. Vodaneli went over on Saturday and got a bathroom. Yeah. I don't have a laundry. I don't have a washer. I don't have a dryer. Don't have a toilet. Don't have a shower. Vaughn and I went over on Saturday and got a tour. Yeah. It's fun going and seeing somebody else's rentals. I know doing them and living them can be very, very stressful and nothing feels like it's going right at times. But going around to somebody else's house when they're doing rentals,

I love walking on the joists. Yeah. Like where there's no floor and you like walk over and you give it a bit of a nod and you have a look. Yeah. Like where there's no floor and you like walk over and you give it a bit of a nod and you have a look. It was very funny because we had our friend James was over as well having a little tour and Sade and Augie came over with Vaughn and like we were all in the downstairs bit looking at the bathroom and the wardrobe and the exciting things and where's the TV going to go?

And then I hear this like, I see these feet up very high and I was like, Vaughn's on the scaffolding. Aaron said I was the only one that he trusted to go up there. Rude. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Oh my God, rude. I'm the scaffold guy. Oh, no, you would have slept on.

I wanted to go on the scaffolding. I think Aaron wanted to do other things to you. Fletch walked into the house and Aaron grabbed him and pushed him on the bed. And I was like, what are you doing? And Aaron was just like, God, you're looking good at the moment. I was like, wow. That doesn't mean you can just chuck a man on the bed. I know.

He looks good. At one point, everyone was on the bed because we're all like having a lie on the bed and stretching out. And your bed's in your lounge. It's like literally the only place to sit in your house. Yeah, I know. But when I was like hearing that and then I was showing everyone the lounge

and then I could hear this like, I was like, what's that? And it was like Vaughn and Aaron on the roof rubbing it. Yeah, why were you rubbing the roof? Like just because it's new

and looks so nice? Because we could hear the hands on it. Were you just like, this is nice? It's marine grade. That's what Aaron always keeps saying. Oh yeah, that was what we were doing, the marine grade. And he's like, but you? It's marine grade. That's what Aaron always keeps saying.

That was what we were doing, the marine grade. And he's like, but you can't feel the difference. And so we were touching the roof. Right. Okay. And we were also, I love laminated beams. So you might have also heard me giving the laminated beams a bit of hands. Well, I wasn't allowed. The laminated beams looked good and I tried

to throw them on the bed. I wasn't allowed to go on the scaffolding and rub the beams in the roof. You did get tossed on the bed and touched a lot. So everybody had fun. We all had fun. We all had a blast. Anyway, so the point is I don't have a laundry at the moment, so I use laundromats far and wide.

And I needed to go to a tile shop, so I was like, I'll find one near there. Found a laundromat and I didn't have a lot of time, so I was like, I find one you know near there found a laundromat and I didn't have a lot of time so I was like I'll just do one load do a white load I had white sheets

pillowcases with those a couple of t-shirts socks you know your whites put them in and then I went off I wouldn't wash my white sheets

with my white anything else's the sheets is the load unto itself but these sheets are like our worst sheets they're like five years old. Why are you treating them like trash?

They're manky anyway. God knows what they've seen. Anyway, so they're in the wash and then I pop down the road, go to the tile place, come back. I was like, I've got enough time to put it in the dryer. Then I'll go do the groceries, come back home. All my tasks done. I've got a real system with doing laundry now.

But then also you're leaving your clothes at this laundromat. Someone could steal your sheets. Yeah, they're manky though. Like, tasks done. I've got a real system with doing laundry now. But then also you're leaving your clothes at this laundromat. Someone could steal your shades. Yeah, they're manky though. Like, take them. You know what I mean? But would you do this if it was your like, nice tops? No, no, no, no. You'd sit in a guard. Designer. Designer. Anyway, so I like, get there

right on time because I always, I leave the laundromat and I go, hey Siri, please place a timer for 23 minutes. She's going to do that now. So cancel that. Stop listening. Anyway, so I go in there, I open it up, white load, looking all sparkly and white, put in some stain remover and I put it in and as I'm pulling

it out, I'm like, what is this? And there's like this red all through it, like going through it. And I was like, shoot. And like every time I kept moving it, trying to find what was wrong with it, it got worse and worse and worse. And I realised as I put my hand into the washer, I'd cut the joint, like the wrinkly knuckle of my thumb and I was literally smearing it.

Oh, with blood. With blood all through this fresh white load. I thought you'd left something red in there. No, I was smearing bright red, fresh from the knuckle blood, all through this white load. What people must have thought because it was so busy. Yeah. As I was pouring this out and being like,

what the hell is happening? It's like blood everywhere. Are you on warfarin? No, but it's just because it's in the join. And it just profusely began to spurt. Yeah, it did. Because I've knocked a chunk out of it. Yeah, you can see it's a big chunk.

It's a big chunk. Yeah, I just bled all through it. So what did you do? Yeah, you're like, well, I guess we've just got bloody sheets for a week. I went back to the bloody machine. We have to pay. And then I put it straight back in for another round. And I tell you what, I was so over it that it's wet in my boot right now.

Oh, my God. You didn't put it back in the dryer. Why did you bother doing that? The time that I had to dry it, I had to second wash it. Then I had to go home. I had tasks to do. But why didn't you at least hang them when you got home? I don't have a washing line.

You got rope. Where am I going to hang it to? You've got the rig of that nice marine grade roof. Oh my God, now I'm going to staple a rope to it and hang my probably bloody sheets. I'm just strangling between. But now you're going to have to rewash those because they're damp. They're going to be manky.

They're going to be stinky. I can imagine the stink from here. The whole thing is a write-off. So back to the laundromat today, is it? Back to the laundromat we go. God's sake. 16 past eight. More bad news for you next.

Oh, I've had enough. We have a pile on. I've had enough. I've got bad news, Hayley Sproul. What are you, Brad? Bad news, Brad Olsen. Sorry, shut it. This actually, I guess it would cover a little bit of Brad.

Yeah. Because it's great for the New Zealand economy when we've got overseas film projects happening here. No. 700 people who were due to start work on Minecraft, the movie. Jason Momoa. Which just cracks me up because if you've ever watched kids play Minecraft or played Minecraft, it's just like, build a house.

I put a, I put a, I put a, I built a fence, dad. Oh, okay, cool. And then I put a goat in it. I was like, oh, okay, great. And now I filled it with water. What happened to the goat? It died. Because it's Sims.

Yeah, it is. It's blocked Sims. Right. But anyway, the Minecraft movie with Pedro Pascal, Jason Momoa, and Steve Carell. I can't believe it. No, he was out. Steve was out.

Steve's out? Yeah. He pulled. Still, Pedro Pascal is going to be in New Zealand at some stage. Pedro Pascal. Jason Momoa was coming back. Well, he's not now. This is really sad.

The US actors strike and the writers strike. It's hit home. And the fact that these people aren't working, aren't filming, aren't writing. So he's apparently not coming back. Especially, I mean, Jason Momoa, the actors will be obviously fine, like, you know, people like him. But, yeah, the crew, that's like their livelihood. Yeah, totally.

This needs to get sorted out. You know I keep my finger on the pulse of whatever Jason Momoa is doing. Yeah. I think it is coming back but it's going to be all delayed which means a lot of the people that were going to be working on it now don't have a job and might not be able to do it

at the new dates, you know? Right, because you've got to take work as it appears. I was talking to my friend who's working on American film projects at the moment. He was like, it's not just like,

oh, well, we'll just wait until it's done and then pick it all up. Like, once a schedule, like a film schedule gets out of whack, it might just not

happen anymore. Especially because someone like Pedro Pascal, he might have to film The Last of Us and then can't come back to New Zealand for like another year

or something. And so then, does he get recast or? It does give me time to get absolutely shredded. For when Jason Momoa. For when Jason returns. Yeah, right. Okay.

He'll be like, wow, you look incredible. Yeah. Because remember last time I met him, he liked my hair. I've changed it now. What will he think of the new dude? Yeah, he might not like the blonde. Far out. I don't know his history, but I'm not familiar with any of blonde lovers in the past.

No. Well, this was a waste of money, wasn't it? It was a huge mistake. Well, good news is it's time to get it back to normal. Yeah. Yeah. Also, we're going to be like, for, you know, the viewing public, regular people like us,

we're going to, in the next year, there's just going to be like, what, no shows on Netflix and no shows anywhere? Yeah, we'll just be doing, it's going to be reruns of Friends. Yeah like nothing's getting made right? Yeah. To be honest there's so much on there that it's not a problem. I think it'll give me a chance

to dip my toe in a few things that I've thought I've always wanted to watch that but maybe too many seasons have passed and it seemed a little daunting to undertake. Now that's just my personal silver lining for this because I know that there's lots of people who will be out of work. Oh yeah. And I think, what are they up to, the 12th week of the writer's strike now?

Yeah. Yeah guys, Severance is even paused and that's one of the ones I'm looking forward to the most. Filming which began in October 2022 has been paused and will only resume

once the strikes are over or resolved. But even shows that have been made, like there's also talk that shows that were going to be released like soon

are going to be held off because of the fact there's going to be no new content for the next year. And they won't be able to promote them. Yeah.

That's part of the whole thing is you can't go and promote it. So yeah, maybe dip your toe back into some reruns of Friends. All we've got is Friends. We'll always have Friends. Always have Friends. That's all there is.

Fact of the day is next. Are you guys working for the TVNZ programming department, are you? We love Friends. Yeah, we love Friends. All there is is Friends. And if you guys have a brand new show called Two and a Half Men. Whoa! Watch it.

You'll love it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Okay, this one's going to blow your mind. Okay. I'm ready. A mother in 2017. What?

Gave birth to a daughter who was technically only one year younger than her. It was in her. It was her twin. It was a leap year. Bingo. He's drank the guy. I think it's quite how the maths works on leap years. So Tina gave birth to Emma on November 25th, 2017. Yeah.

24 years after she was frozen as a fertilised embryo. Oh, yes. I remember this. So Tina was born in 1991. frozen as a fertilised embryo. Oh, yes. I remember this. So. Okay. So Tina was born in 1991. In 1992, another couple had an embryo that was conceived and frozen on October 14th, 1992, when Tina was one years, one years old, one year old.

One years old. One years old. She's seen it. She's seen it. I've done it. I ate it. I didn't eat it at the embryo. So the embryo was conceived and then frozen in 1992

when Tina was one year old. Okay. Then she later in life wished to have a baby and 24 years after it was originally frozen it was unfrozen, and the baby called Emma was born.

Why didn't she get a freshie? I don't know. This was just there, you know? What was it, in the dollop bin? When you're going through your freezer and you're just like, I guess I've got to use this mince now. Yeah. Yeah.

How long would you say lamb shanks lasted in the freezer? Vacuum sealed. Not 24 years. Not 24 years. Well, we were cleaning out the freezer and I found some lamb shanks. And she's like, we've got to get rid of these. They were frozen in 2021. Yeah.

And I was like, but they're vacuum sealed. They're vacuum sealed. No freezer burn. Vacuum sealed? I mean, give it a nudge. I just couldn't. I couldn't. Mentally, though, I know they're old

Mentally we're so far away From the life of that shank I always slow cook a shank anyway I wouldn't trust it You can slow cook Freezer burn off a steak If it's freezer burn You would

Chop it up And use it as gravy Slow cook it You'd appreciate Ah waste not want not You'd miss the window Well this lady Took a shank

That had been Back in sealed For 24 years. But so on a technicality, she is only one year older than her baby. Oh, a technicality. Yeah, like the beginning is one year apart. Yeah. This is also, well, when does life start?

I would love to wade into that debate. I mean, I believe it's in the ball sack Life against the ball sack And it ends the same way But it's also a world record For the longest time between Embryo and actual birth So watch out

Nigeria Because they love a world record. It took me a second. I was like, why is Nigeria watching out for that? We talked so much recently about Nigeria. They're absolutely in the midst of world record craze. Yeah. Okay. It's a long game though. This is a long game. They better hope

that it comes back around in 24 years or whatever so she can do it. So today's fact of the day is there is a world record for the longest time between embryo becoming embryo and ending up in the birth of a healthy child, 24 and a half years, and a woman is technically only one year older than her daughter. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Gladriel. Photobands. It's not the right colour.

No. I'm going to have to take this back. Put it on, Fletch. He'll look like... You just sit it on top of your head. Can we go get a photo? Like that. Oh, yeah, okay, right.

Is that how that works? Yeah, this is a halo. They're different to normal clip extensions. And then put the hat back on. No, but the... Oh, my God! No, he looks like Rocky Horror Picture Show! I just jumped to the left.

And it's under the red! Oh, my God. Say dirt. Hey, dirt. Dirt, dirt. Oh, my God. Hey, dirt. Okay, anyway, moving on.

Moving on. We've got a show today. Don't say moving on. We can't move on from that. That is beautiful. It's not not good. Let's get that online. It's not not good. Do you know what I mean. It's not not good. Let's get that online.

It's not not good. Do you know what I mean? It's not not good. It's not horrible. I'm not hating what I see. Okay, that's not not good. You look a bit like my builder. Our builder, Aaron, looks like Flash Gordon. He's got the long blonde hair and he's a bodybuilder.

Wow. He's a CrossFit guy. Oh, okay. Compliments. You look like a CrossFit builder. Okay, fantastic. Far out. Yeah, hot. Okay, fantastic Great work

What are we doing? Maybe I'll wear this to the gym today Shannon said to me, she was confused because she forgets I'm bald all the time There's a head under there Do you want to borrow these hair extensions? I'll try it later, I just don't think it's going to be as good as yours It's just great. The best part was

when there was no hat on it and what's his name? Yeah, the skinny kind of creepy. Riff Raff. Yeah, Riff Raff. I'm not going to look at you in the eye because it's actually confusing me. Yes, master. Anyway, so Barbie movie's out at the moment.

Talk of the Town. They've they've been promoing it. Yeah. Because it was in the earlier contract that they were able to promo this show because it happened before the writer's strikes. Okay. Something like that. Anyway, during it, they were asked for Vanity Fair

what their guilty pleasure was. And everyone was like, I like cookie dough straight from the bowl. Everyone's like, wow, you freak. And then it got to America Freer and she was like, mine? She's like, oh, I feel like I'm going to regret saying this. And everyone was like, wow, you freak. And then it got to a milk referrer and she was like, um, mine? She's like, oh, I feel like I'm going to regret saying this. And everyone was like, oh, what is that? She's like, nah, I just

like love to like not shower for a few days. And I was like, ooh, why would you do that? And she's like, nah, sometimes you just like can't be bothered. I mean, maybe during the lockdowns you'd forget to shower, eh? Or brush your teeth teeth but not like

we're back to normal now yeah well I mean I've got a few I go a few days at a time now sounds a bit like depression to me yeah really yeah you know what else I love doing

knocking at a bed in the morning yeah lying around letting the hours just sort of wash over me like you know not water because I'm not

because I'm sure not showering also the way she described she was like there's just something about it where you're just like, she just lets herself get a bit. Okay. Drink and she'd go. Have a sniff? You know when you're like, I wonder if my armpit smells, but it's not enough just to smell it.

You've got to give it a rub and then you sniff your fingers. Yeah, yeah. When you're like, pretend that you're crossing your arms like that and then you're like, um, what is that? That's my guilty pleasure, having a sniff. Having a sniff. Of everything. Just a little bit of.

You ever scratch any, like, how bad? Oh. Oh, no. Because that's how you get worms. What do we. Oh, is that okay? What do we. Trying to casually put the hand to the face.

Oh, yeah, I don't know. Um, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, everyone was a bit like oh that was a big greasier than expected behind the area by then washing sufficiently and you don't expect that from like someone in hollywood to not share i know and she doesn't mean she's extremely beautiful she looks well groomed yeah as a woman uh but i want to know she certainly is an ugly betty she sure is not anymore she's come a long way. It was just the braces and the glasses.

She's gorgeous. Gorgeous Elizabeth. Yeah, she is. We want to know, what is your, like, manky guilty pleasure? Like, what is the thing that you are about? Maybe it is. Maybe you like to have a, you know. What about people that pop their partner's pimples?

It's manky. But some people love it. And if there's real gross ones that are too gross to say on air because we have to adhere to a strict standard of broadcasting, we can do a podcast only part. Oh, yeah. Please don't hold back. So don't hold back. Don't hold back.

So we want you to text in 9696. Call us now. 0800-DONALDS-AT-M. What is your manky guilty pleasure? Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. If you want to know your manky or ooey or grim, what is it called? Guilty pleasure.

Guilty pleasure. Because America Ferreria. Has admitted that sometimes she doesn't shower for a few days. Yeah, she just takes some time off of showering. A bit gross. A bit gross. Well, you know that I do that. She has great skin, though.

She looks incredible. I don't think she does it weekly. She's just, every now and then she'll be like, eh, why? So, some messages in. I go to bed dressed for the morning. That's my guilty pleasure. I sweat too much in the night.

Yeah, same. I always need a little bit of a rinse. Wait, so they just have to wake up and go to work? No, they just roll out of bed. I mean, we get up at like four. What do you reckon they wear to work? If it was scrubs, it would be easy, because they're comfy. Or a sort of a pyjama of sorts.

Yeah, like unless you worked in track pants or pyjamas, you're not going to bed in jeans. Anything else would wrinkle. And I always need a fresh undie in the morning, and I wouldn't wear a bra to sleep. So now I'm in my scrubs with stanky undies.

You've got to have a fresh pair of grats to start the day otherwise you're not. You're starting on the back foot. Can that person text in and tell us what they wear to work because I feel like that's going to...

Yeah, because it wouldn't be corporate wear either, would it? Imagine if they're a lawyer and they just sleep like a vampire on top of their arms crossed, shoes on and everything. Keep your texts coming in. 9696, we want you to call us as well. 0800-DIALS-IT-M with your gross man key.

Guilty pleasures. We want to know the guilty man key. Gross. Don't start. It was the way you described it. I read the text and that was fine, but then you started describing it and now I feel like I'm going to have a vom on the ground. There are some gross messages coming in. Kelly, tell us your

gross manky guilty pleasure. So my nose stud, I sort of pull it out and swivel it around and then push it back in and release that stink. This is the one. This is the message. I used to have my nose pierced and I was the same.

I always had a ring, and I would, like, twist it around. Release the stink. Is it not enough that a nose ring stinks for you to be like, I shouldn't probably have this? Well, it's gone now, isn't it? They are a bit of a manky piercing. They are. They are.

Why does it, this might be, I don't know, why does it stink after you've had it for a while? I guess it's just bogeys. Just stuff gets in there. Yeah. Gross. Bogeys. Oh, Kelly.

And do you still have it? Yes, I do. Do you do this, grow up now. Do you do this every day? Do you do the manky smell every day? Most days I do, yeah. In fact, I was actually just driving and was doing it. Kelly!

Kelly! I'm going to have a chunny on the ground. Kelly, thank you. Our message is in. My boyfriend and I will share bath water. Yeah. If it's still hot after I finish, may as well make the most of it. Cost of living crisis.

We grew up, I grew up thinking every family did that. Yeah, we were the same. And you just rotated who went first. Yeah. That was, I just thought. Get out so your sister's

got some hot water left. Yeah, and then mum would like top it up with hot water. Yeah. God, what a hero she was having a bath after all of, if we were really dirty though

she'd just have a shower that night. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I remember the day I discovered dad would just turn his undies inside out instead of washing them. And Dad, he was prone to skid marks. Oh, Dad. Reads this text.

But never dawned on him that when he turned them inside out, now the skid marks were just rubbing against the pants on the outside. Yeah, yuck. Let's buy some extra undies, Dad. Like, yuck. I'll pluck a hair out and use it as floss. What's wrong with that?

Oh, yeah, I'd do that. That's a great idea. My hair's quite thin, though, and I'd always get a hair and then put it in and it would break in the middle so then you've got this tiny little bit in the middle.

And you can't get it out? Yeah. Using the back of an earring to clear a straggly bit of food out of your teeth. Genius, but a little bit manky Someone said I just could not be bothered washing my hair So I just took to wearing beanies And the smell of the beanie after a couple of weeks would be quite ripe

Oh god Being a human is just awful Yeah, yeah It might sound foul but I enjoy the smell of my own shoes after a long day at work. Yeah, that's gross. I like searching for and squeezing fleas

from my cat. Oh, yeah, we do that. I did that when I was a kid. Really? There's not... Are the fleas attached? Like, what is it?

Because I don't know if I've ever seen a flea in a cat. No, they're not attached like knits. You know how knits you gotta like slide it off. They more sit

on the base of the hair. Yeah, and you've gotta like squeezeits. You know how knits you gotta like slide it off. They more sit on the base of the hair. Yeah, and you've gotta like squeeze them between your fingernails and like you... Because I've seen the video of the tics. It's like pimples, eh?

It's like pimples. Like people on horses find tics in their horses. Yeah. And then you can't... Because if you pop them or whatever, the head will just

grow a new body. What? You've gotta get them out and so there's a real like... You should watch them on YouTube and TikTok and stuff. There's a real like art pulling out a tic. Okay. That've got to get them out so there's a real like you should watch them on YouTube and TikTok and stuff there's a real like art pulling out a tick.

Okay. That was quite interesting to watch but I feel like I need I'm a bit like nauseous now. I need a palate cleanser. I need a palate cleanser.

Great work guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? I can't do this.

You sound very insincere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.