ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th June 2024

Episode Date: June 23, 2024

Slow'Cation  The First Patient  Silly Little Poll!  Hayley's New Followers  Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Another year older.

How was your birthday yesterday? I am. Yes, I am. You had a good day? Good day. Yeah, I spoke to mum and dad. They are also feeling old because they have a 45-year-old son. Yeah. It must be,

it must be worse for them than you. That's weird. Like, could you imagine when your kids are like 45? Yeah, it'd be crazy. I'll be 75, aka dead.

No, I thought you said like 82-ish. Pushing it. I mean, that's just the average age, isn't it? Yeah, but there's a lot, it's a lot of red meat.

It's not the red meat that's going to do it. The red meat's the thing that's keeping me going. Right. And the whiskey adds a nice pickle. Yeah, it it's a lot of red meat. It's not the red meat that's going to do it. The red meat's the thing that's keeping me going. Right. And the whiskey adds a nice pickle. Yeah, it's the pickle in myself slowly. Yeah.

But surely. No, but a lovely day it was. Lovely day. Thank you for the birthday wishes. Yes, you're welcome. We had a lovely BYO, didn't we? Oh, lovely BYO. It was Friday.

Lovely celebration. We did. And we're on air this week for three days. And then you're stuffed. Stuff you. Yeah, we're on air this week for three days. And then you're stuffed. Stuff you. Yeah, we're off from Thursday. Wednesday will be the last show. But we do have simmering in the background in the podcast world.

It's going to be very delicious. The Midwinter Christmas podcast special. Cocktail special. Which will be available to download when we're away. Yeah. Episode by episode. Because it's quite confronting. I won't listen also. I didn't listen to last year's and I shan't. I had to listen to

one episode near the very end to help with editing and I was like Producer Jared needed a vibe check on it. I was like, okay. That'll do. We're just not in a position to lose jobs. So it needed a little quick nip and tuck. Yeah, it did.

So that'll be downloading, I believe, from Thursday. Thursday. I'm getting the nod Thursday. The top six is on the way. People have dating app fatigue. This is where they're just over them. They're over the apps. Yeah, I've heard that around.

People just wanting to do it the old school way. Well, I went to the top six places to pick up the honeys. Oh, that's good. Because I'm, you know me, I'm pretty just fresh out of the dating world. Were you? 20 years ago. Yeah, you, and this is, I mean, you met your now gorgeous wife without a dating app. She wasn't gorgeous at the time.

Is that what you're saying? My now gorgeous wife? My ugly, ugly, I didn't... Ugly duckling. Yeah, she was a dog. Yeah. Now she's a 10. She's lovely now.

You did that. She's always been a 10. You've always been a 10. Are you hitting on my wife? Well, I don't quite... I was going to say, Vaughn wasn't always a 10. Listen, you've crossed the line, actually.

Have some respect. I was just trying to dig myself into that hole that I accidentally wanted to. Digging down the top six. No core or hole. She's so much more. She's at least two.

So I'm told the top six are coming up. The producers are unhappy with you already. It's 6.06. A mate of mine, Daniel,

who I know from Hamilton, is in the UK Never heard of him Nah we worked together We weren't like Close friends But I'd call him a mate I wouldn't say anything

Fletcher's getting very territorial Wow I don't know Pissing all over me And Parking his territory I've never heard Of this friend before

You've really got your Back up on this He's allowed to have Other friends Outside of you And your friends Is he? Yes Okay So he's in the UK And he puts up on this. He's allowed to have other friends outside of you and your friends. Is he? Yes.

Okay. So he's in the UK and he puts up on his story a picture of a house. And I'm like, man, that house looks familiar. And that's when he writes, this will mean very little to anybody, but this house in Windermere has pissed me off for years. Windermere? Windermere is between Glasgow and Blackpool, I believe. Okay.

Northern England. Okay. Why is his house upsetting him? His house has pissed me off for years. As an avid fan of grand designs, Oh, okay. this house features in an episode where the owner wasted his money,

ripped people off, got bailed out by a lovely local woman, then couldn't afford to complete the house. Archie Wooden thing? Yeah. I'm just looking at it. It's now owned by that woman that lent him the money and has run as a boutique holiday home after he once

again pissed his money away. I drove 90 minutes out of my way to see this and I stood here very angry. Vaughan Anonymous, I'm sure we've discussed this at some point. It's quite an amazing house. Oh my god, that's incredible. The episode of Grand Designs was such a frustrating

watch. This is a famous episode, isn't it? It's a famous episode of Grand Designs was such a frustrating watch. This is a famous episode, isn't it? It's a famous episode of Grand Designs, and it's been in those revisited episode of Grand Designs where they go back, because in 2010, when this guy tried to build this house, it was a whole lot of firsts. He had a domed roof that had grass on top that people were like, I get it,

but you realise these are a headache. He's like, I don't care, play on. It also just looks like it hasn't been well kept or well made it's been re-renovated so in 2016 when they went back it was abandoned

it had never been the guy had wasted spent all his money sold like a couple of businesses one for significantly less than he thought he was going to get yeah and

oh no it was abandoned in 2016 but then the local woman then saw the 2016 episode of Grand Designs Revisited and said, I actually would like that to be finished. I've got a bit of cash you can borrow, but if you can't pay it, it was an open-ended loan,

but if something goes wrong, I think I'll claim the house. Right, and legally, if you've got a contract, she can do that. She must have. And she did. I think she does. Okay, I hate to say it, she's got no style. No, the whole house was garish. Oh, it's just garish, yeah. It's got pink windows. It was like this eco dome

and everything they did was for like a reason. Like they had this stone wall that ran right through the house and outside and it would catch the afternoon sun and the heat would stay in these stones and then it would make the house warmer at night. Okay. Which is great unless you live in the north of England

where sun's a pretty rare commodity in winter. Yeah. And it didn't work as well. In summer it worked fantastically. Yeah. But with the longer days and everything. So your friend watches this episode. I know the exact episode.

I remember the initial episode and then the revisited. Yeah. I think I saw it finished at some stage, so I must have seen the... Yeah. And was that one of those ones where they go back and Kevin only sees certain parts of the house? Yeah right

because you can tell they might have done this that and the other but there's probably still a big mess out the back that they can't afford to clean up or whatever the guy I remember put all of his paperwork into the council at once and they were just like that's not how it's done you've got to do it stage by stage. So why did your friend in the middle of his holiday

think, this is what I'm going to do? He said, we left Glasgow and headed to Blackpool and I saw the word Windermere and I was like, that bastard.

And so we Googled it, found the location and just drove like off. It's some kind of hate tourism. Hate tourism? Hate tourism. How good is hate tourism? I don't know if I've ever hate touristed anywhere.

You know, like gone somewhere to be like, ugh, hate this. I mean, we've all gone to fascinating or different places. Yeah, or sometimes with a dark past. Dark, dark. Like, I remember in Dunedin, you go for a drive past the Baines place, don't you? The old address of the Baines place don't you the old address of the Baines place oh do you remember

when I was driving in America and I went past that Avery towing from the what was that oh my god from the How to Make a Murderer

yeah because I got this ferry across the lake and I was like oh my god that sounds familiar and I was like I googled it

it was like 20 minutes out of the way I was like I am going and this was like a month or two after it came out on Netflix oh my god why and you could just drive straight up to it and I was like 20 minutes out of the way. I was like, I am going. And this was like a month or two after it came out on Netflix. Oh, my God.

Why? And you could just drive straight up to it. I was like, I'm going home now. Turn around. It was wild. Go and get some evidence. But that's kind of like some dark tourism, isn't it? Yeah.

It is a bit of dark tourism. That's a bit of dark tourism. Whereas this is like. This is just like. Hate tourism. Hate tourism. That's good stuff. Because again.

I can see this taking off. This guy and this whole project just riled him up so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you incredibly frustrated by an episode of Grand Designs? Then why don't we go and stand outside the house and look at it? It was a good story from your imaginary new friend. He's allowed to have other friends that aren't your friends. He's never heard of this guy.

He's his own man. You need to let him go. He's a disorder friend. You never talk to him, never hear from him Lives overseas Ways to socially engage Actually you should be friends with this guy You'd like it

Speaking of travel, I've got some travel advice for you sir Sometimes just walking to the shops is an adventure with you because you walk so fast. It's like we're on a hike. It's like we're on a fast race. I'll be fair.

You and I walk good together because you're also a fast walker. I'm peppy, but I do have to, every now and then with you, just do a couple of catch-up steps. And if the three of us are walking together, I'll kind of drop back with Vaughn. Yeah, because Vaughn is a dawdler. I'm not a dawdler. I'm just not racing.

No, a dawdler is normal. I'm just enjoying a walk. Yeah, because Vaughn is a dawdler. I'm not a dawdler. I'm just not racing. I'm just enjoying a walk. Any rush to do anything. It's glorious. Why you have such a rush to do anything with nothing to do. I've got places to get to. But he's busy.

It's just sort of like procrastination chat there. Like I'm not in any great hurry to do anything. I'm trying to instill in my children if you've got something to do, get it done. It's off your plate. And then yesterday they witnessed their father who had left something to the last minute. Have to stress all day about It's a good lesson there for the kids. Do as I say not as I do. How long have you known about this?

I was like, months. Months. Yeah. Yeah, so. Well, you're about to go on a trip for your holiday and for a lot of people, like, they'll be looking forward

to some relaxation and some, we had some friends that just went to Fiji and Fiji's a quiet time. Fiji's beautiful, but it's not me. I could do five days.

I can do an island Fiji. I'm not a huge Port Deneral guy, but take me to an island where it's just like the only thing you have to do is eat. No, see, that to me is boring. It rules. It's beautiful. We went to a Fijian island, but that was like party.

We were younger. It was party time. Oh, God, that sounds like that. That's my worst nightmare now. That is now your worst nightmare. I just need a bit of both. I need an hour to relax by the pool, and then I need to go and eat something.

Then I need to do something. Like shopping. Yeah, then I need to have a sleep, so a little downtime. Then I need to go out at night. You're like a Hawaii kind of person. Am I? I don't know. I am 1% Hawaiian, so the motherland does call me.

Hawaii kind of does have all the options. Like Thailand's like that too. Thailand, yeah. Party, food, relax, all of this. But there's nothing to do on an island. I've got to be doing stuff on holiday. I like big cities. So slowcation or like slow travel is trending at the moment

as we head towards summer holidays in Europe. A lot of people from the Southern Hemisphere going to the Northern Hemisphere to enjoy summer. A lot of people, so they did this research in Britain. Yeah. And 81% of people that had a booked holiday said the number one thing they were going for was to slow down distress.

Yeah. Like that was what they're looking for. Less of the party, busy, this museum, that thing, this thing, visit this, go here, travel two days here, one day here, that kind of vibe. But just not working's less stress, right? So you can still go and do things. Totally.

Like if you're in a big city, you want to go to the museums or you want to go check out things, right? Yeah. So people are just going to one destination or two destinations for a longer period of time, doing less, putting phones away, less like

fast airport transits and all this kind of stuff, like could we take a train? Could we go a bit slower? I've done that where I've tried to fit in too many cities, because you're like, I've got to go here, here and here. I've done that too. And I've got a few and then you just can't, you do regret that. You shortcut all of them rather than enjoying two of them.

And then you end up spending more time in an airport than you ever wanted. Yeah. So you've got to find that balance. You've got to find the balance. But I read this, it's slow travel. I was like this is not flesh. This is not me. No. Things must be done fast. Yeah. Or just like, I'm happy

to stay in one location but I just need to do done fast. Yeah. Or just like, I'm happy to stay in one location, but I just need to do numerous things. Yeah, same. And like, Aaron will be like, we're on holiday. I'll have a two-hour nap. And I was like, nap in New Zealand, bro. Do you know what I mean? Like, we'll look around.

It's so great. Oh, and have the holiday mid-afternoon nap. Totally. But we've paid a lot of money to nap in Thailand. Yeah. You know what I mean? Might as well get someone rubbing their feet while you're napping though Might as well

Might as well hit the cheap massage spot For half an hour I love it when they get the pokey stick Right at the end When they get that stick And they drive it into your foot I bought one of those pokey sticks It's not the same when you poke yourself.

Did you see the Batuda? Just one more time for the people at the back. Not the same when you poke yourself. I bought the stick. Yeah. Just doesn't feel the same. Yeah. Did you see that Batuda advocate headline that was overnight?

Time massage now at the point where man begins worrying about severe spinal injuries. I love that. That is right. Now at the point where man begins worrying about severe spinal injuries. I was like, that is me every time at the end of a Thai massage. When they're hanging onto a rope on the ceiling and like hauling you with their legs. You're like, or like twisting your neck. It's like, that's what they do in spy movies to kill the other spy.

Imagine doing all of that, but your baps are out. That's what we go through. Cause they wrap the towel around. But the moment they do this and they narrow your shoulders, the towel's always like, foot off. Top six is next on the show.

Top six places to meet the honeys if you've got dating app fatigue. Yeah, eight out of ten people have dating app fatigue. Fair enough. Who are those two out of ten?

I'm thriving. I'm loving it still. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. Yes, welcome to the Top 6. Today we are looking at dating app fatigue. Vaughan, I have a survey here.

A thousand Americans were talked to about dating apps. And in the past year, 78% feel fatigued with the dating app world. Interestingly, women feel more burnt out than men. 80% reporting some level of burnout compared to 74% of males. Yeah. But yeah, 8 in 10 basically are done with the dating apps. They're frustrated. The other 2 out of 10, the gays.

I get, yeah, definitely the gays. I mean, I know you're about to give us the top 6 recommendations of where to find the honeys off the apps, but I just don't know how people meet people. If you didn't do it in university or during house party time, where are you doing it? Well, you've come to the right place. Here's six places to meet the honeys. Oh, I thought you meant working at ZM.

Oh, no. I thought about it with both of you. Keep it separate. I don't know. It's a bit off. Nah, it's a bit off. What about both of us at the same time? Oh, that brought me back a little bit.

Yeah, we got it. We got it. Top six places to meet the honeys. Number six on. Yeah, we got it. We got it. Top six places to meet the honeys. Number six on the list, the RSA. Oh, there are honeys at the RSA. What do they call that when you get in at the last minute? You get on the wheel, black widows. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I wasn't even thinking that. I was just thinking like food's pretty good. Oh, drinks are cheap. And the pour. Yeah, heavy pour. And so even if you're going on heaps of dates, it fits at the RSA. Or getting in someone's well kind of last minute, that's just a bonus. That's a side.

Aside from the lovely roast dinners they do. Get a bloody game of darts going. Yeah. Meat raffles. Put $2 on the pool table, you've got meat raffles as well. You've got bingo. Yeah. The honeys are all there.

Yeah. I mean, not a lot of teeth, but they're there. Sometimes it's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. The honeys are all there. Yeah. I mean, not a lot of teeth, but they're there. Sometimes it's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six places to meet the honeys. Weekend sports. Who's weekend sports? Well, you don't even have to play a weekend sport.

You just go along and have a bit of a perv and maybe see what their cardio fitness is like and pick a favourite. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's got a bit of everything working in sports. Okay. You know, if you like your big boys, you could go your rugby. I do.

If you like your more athletic fellows, I do. Might try the soccer field. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the wood chopping, you could,

you know, it's a good thing with a lumber man. Yeah. God, I love the lumber man. That all sounds good, but the minute I say,

oh, go down the netball court, that sounds pervy, doesn't it? Yeah. It does. We're all imagining some ladies having some sideline ooh-la-lahs at the boys playing rugby, but as soon as the old genders are switched,

all of a sudden everybody's like, oh, you can't take a bunch of lads down and go ogle. Ogle? Ogle. Ogle? Ogle? Ogle. Ogle. Ogle. We've given three different versions there. I think it's ogle. Ogle. No, that's the search engine. Oh, okay. Yeah. Ogle. It's ogle. It's not ogle. It is given three different versions there. I think it's Oogle. Oogle. No, that's the search engine. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Oogle. It's Oogle. It's not Oogle. It is. It's Oogle. It's Oogle the ladies at the netball courts. It's Oogle the ladies or Oogle the men.

Oogle. Oogle. O-G-G-L-E. To glance with amorous invitation or challenge. Like this. Oh, I didn't like that. What was that? That was my Oogle.

It looked like you were taking a fart on a bus. Oogle pronunciation. Oogle. Oh I didn't like that What was that? That was my ogle Ogle pronunciation Ogle Hang on here we go Ogle No that's not ogle That's British How's it spelt? O-G-G-L-E

Hang on here's American Ogle It is Ogle. It's not Ogle. Shit. Fine. How embarrassing to say, sorry if you saw me ogling at you.

What the hell does that mean? I was ogling. I was ogling. Number four on the top six places to meet the honeys, night classes at the local college. Yeah, that's hot. No one doing those is happy with their life. What are we learning?

They could be very happy. They're getting some extra education. Could be te reo Māori or sewing. They're getting out of the house on a work night. They're single.

They're looking to meet people. They're trying to fill a gap. Yeah. Fill a hole. What nice horse do you reckon would have the hottest people? Pottery.

Yeah, but a pottery. Pottery's a bit sexy. Pottery's a bit sexy on the wheels. With the hands. Painting? Oh, we do a few sexy On the wheels With the hands Painting Oh we do a few weeks Before we get on the pottery wheels

You'd be like I'll come back When it's pottery wheel night Yeah yeah yeah I didn't come to pottery To not be on that wheel Yeah I reckon like

Those wine nights With the canvases and stuff Oh yeah Learning to paint Oh yeah No you're just Talking a painting sip now That's a hen's night

So we're not drinking at school We're not drinking At the night classes We're not drinking On the college grounds I'm not going No Number three on the night classes? We're not drinking on the college grounds. I'm not going. No. Number three on the list of the top six places to meet the honeys are kids birthday parties.

Helps to be invited. You probably just don't want to turn up to one of those uninvited. You're also having it here. You're like a solo parent. Meet another solo parent. Well you could or just you know you go along it's easy to be the hero. Yeah. You could actually go dressed as Batman. They're like, I don't remember paying for a party entertainer to turn up.

And then you turn up, and you're like. Oh, yeah. It's a little weird, though, isn't it? I also don't want to be someone's step-mom. You don't want to be a step-mom? Nah. I'm happy for a hook-up with a dad. That's hot.

Yeah. But when things start to get a bit serious, I'll be like, it's her or me. What do you mean, my daughter? Yeah, it's her or me. What do you mean, my daughter? Yeah, it's her or me. She's seven. I was going to say, that would be a great impossible phoner. When was your parent given the ultimatum? Do you?

Yeah, yeah. But I bet it wouldn't have been impossible. I bet it happens all the time. It's her or me. Cut her out. Cut her out. Get her gone. Her mother passed away.

I don't care. She'll find new ones. She'll be all right. What are you, raising a wimp? Yeah. She's six years old. Set her free. If you love something, set them free.

Yeah. If it comes back. It's me or her. Then Kaea Ngurua somehow let you have your child back when you said you shouldn't be having one. Number two on the list of the top six places to meet the honeys. The Sunday markets. Oh, yeah. That's right.

See how productive people are. Yeah. And if they can grow their own vegetables. And if they, you know, respect their body enough to buy some cucumbers and... Organic veggies. Yeah, capsicums, organic veggies and stuff. Yeah. Good colour, good array of colour.

Look in the bag. Yeah. Not just potatoes. Some of those stalls at the markets, like there's a Saturday market by me, I'm like, who's buying this crap? Like someone just had a table full of like rocks and stuff. Like, there's a Saturday market by me. I'm like, who's buying this crap? Like, someone just had a table full of, like, rocks and stuff. Oh, people love rocks. Like, organic, bloody crystal rocks.

I'm like, who is... You're setting up and wasting your whole day here, even if you sell one rock for $5. Yeah. It's not worth your time. Five magpies, five magpies and a trench coat come along. They're like, how much of that shiny one? Oh, my God. And then when the

backs turn, they just grab that and off they go. Off they go. And number one on the list of the top six places to meet the honeys. Funerals. Oh yeah. Someone there vulnerable. Yeah. That's bad. Sweep in, have a club sandwich. Shoulder to cry on. Little mini muffin.

Big cuddle. Yeah. Cup of tea out of one of those giant pots of tea. Yeah. And then, you know, swoop in and find yourself a single honey. Yeah. Anyway, get off the apps and get out there and do it. That's today's top six.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Glass Animals, Heatwaves on ZM, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. They've got a brand new album, July 19. You looked at me just saying, I want more music from them. I said to Hayley, I was like, On CDM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. They've got a brand new album July 19. You literally just said, I want more music from them. I said to Hayley, I was like, where is their new album? Yeah, it's weeks away. Were you not talking to me when you said about that?

No. You said you were just talking to Hayley. Because you were looking online trying to find a pin, a metal thing. Got to find a very specific drawbar pin. What is it? You put it in a trailer to stop it. Yeah, well, that's the idea of them. Yeah, it's apart from the tractor.

I've borrowed a very expensive tractor and lost the part. So no one tell John Deere. Oh, well, it's just between the three of us. No one tell John Deere I've lost a draw pin that I cannot find one the right size to replace. Sounds like you need a metal detector. God. Got one of those.

Big dog. Yeah. Isn't it amazing? Do you have a metal detector? I thought you had one. No, I don't have a metal detector. Oh, you've got a metal fishing thing I've got a big

He's got a big magnet Because I kind of think I know where it is Isn't it interesting That we all We all get on so well We've got such different hobbies Yeah

We're just so different aren't we Yeah what's my hobby Interesting I can't say on air Can't say Okay what's your hobby Marching Well you don't

You've retired Piano playing. Yeah, okay. Yeah, working myself to the bone. It's my hobby. Hey, okay, Justin Timberlake last week got arrested for drinking and driving. Drinking and driving. Drinking and driving.

Yeah. He got arrested for drinking and driving and the photo, the mugshot got released and we've all had those eyes. And there was a photo of him in concert over the weekend. He looked rinsed. Yeah. And that's become a meme now as well. So that was the thing because he did that. Everyone was laughing about the fact that the cop didn't know who he was.

Yes. And he said, man, this is going to ruin the tour. What tour? The world tour. And then he started. It started. The tour has started. And he got on stage to like rapturous applause and support.

And he said like, look, it's been a big week. But nothing. That's why I'm putting up my dude. No, really? We all know what a Monday hangover feels like after a big Friday. Look, guys, it's been a big week, but nothing can change this moment right now. So what did he say? Did he say anything?

No, he didn't really, like, address the whole issue. He just was like, thank you for the support. Right. And it's been a big week. It's been a big week. Him starting with it's been a big week. Because I was reading the New York Post had this, and, I mean, that's trash as it gets.

But they said that. Wait, I thought that was a good one. That, no, that's the New York Post had this, and I mean, that's trash as it gets, but they said that- Wait, I thought that was a good one. That, no, that's the New York Times. New York Post is trash. They were reporting that this young, because it's been in the news, this young Gen Z officer that didn't know who he was, pulled him over and actually gave him a warning.

And then was patrolling on the other side of the town and saw him driving and swerving all over the road and that's when he said hey man i gave you a chance i gave you a chance which is wild even gave him a chance also this cop so um he's a rookie like so he's fresh as he was uh not he was born in 1995 so he has like no idea idea who Justin Timberlake was. Yeah. And apparently like Hamptons, which is the fancy ooh-la-la region. Yeah, we're just going to the Hamptons for the weekend, darling.

Warm up the chopper. Hamptons residents are like, that guy's a prick. I called him a little red-headed dip-ess who has been really hard on people. And so one guy was like... These are the rich, white, elite people. I know, I know. It's so funny. They're above the law.

He's like, I was just trying to park my Mercedes, darling. And he couldn't find a park or something. And he was like, I'll quickly pop a Yui. And this cop was like, whoop, whoop. I pulled him over and gave him this massive fine. He's like, he's a red-headed dickhead. So people were saying, yeah, like, whoop, whoop, pulled him over and gave him this massive fine. He's like, he's a red-headed dickhead. So people were saying, yeah, like, I reckon Justin Timberlake's just been, you know, caught by the wrong guy.

And you're like, no, no, no, he was pissed. It's wild. Like, if that happened in New Zealand, the media wouldn't, like, plant. Like, there are, like, photos from this cop's social media. Like, there's a big profile on who he is, his name. To be fair, like, it's just doing his job. Yeah. Whether the people of East Hampton like him or not,

there's articles on this guy. It's like whether or not he was hard or whatever, Justin Timberlake was drunk and driving. Yeah. So, and then Justin Timberlake did this concert and I've got to be honest, like I know that he's a mega star, but I didn't know that he could still pull arenas.

This thing's huge. Yeah, a lot of fans. A lot of fans. I'm going to the hygienist today. Oh, lovely. Get the sandblasting of the teeth or whatever it is. It feels so good. But I have a question.

So the other day, a friend, I was meeting a friend, and they said, I'm finished. Do you know this friend, Vaughn? I don't know. Which friend they said, I'm finished at the dentist. Do you know this friend, Vaughan? I don't know. Which friend is it? I'm not saying. Interesting. No, you do not.

I just feel like you both dropped some other friends into the chat. He was like, oh, well, I'll be free after the dentist. I'm in the dentist at, oh, I think it was like 8.30 or maybe 9. Gosh, that's early. The first appointment of the day. And I was like, I don't know if I would go. Would you go for the first appointment of the day for things like the doctor? I'm just trying to see what time my dentist opens.

Or the dentist? Like, wouldn't you want the warm-down? I'd like a 10. Oh, no, my colonoscopy was first thing in the morning. I was the first colon. The first anus entered. I've been the first anus entered for a colonoscopy. I like to get the camera when it's fresh out the dishwasher.

Yeah, same. I don't want your used camera. Wouldn't you want to be the second anus entered for the day? No, you've got to be first. They've warmed up on the first one. I don't need to be warmed up. I don't want to be sloppy. You know what we're like at 6 o'clock in the morning.

It's rough. The first hour of the day. It's a bit like... It's rough. You know what we're like at six o'clock in the morning. It's rough. The first hour of the day. It's a bit like. It's rough. You know, the coffee doesn't sink in for an hour. Do you know what I feel confronted about is the fact, because I just looked up how early my dentist opens. Now they go on about how much they love listening to us in the mornings.

They open at 8.30 and we're off air at nine. They only listen for half an hour. 30 minutes. Oh, we love, we always listen to you. What, for 30 minutes? It just got me thinking, like, would you rather be the first,

because would you want to be in the dentist or the doctor at three o'clock on a Friday? No, because they would just want to get out of there. They're going to the beach house.

They just want to get out of there so they're like, drill, drill, drill, inject, inject. Yeah. I mean, like, I know they're professionals and every time

it's a professional job. I'm just saying, like, do you think there's a best time of the day or a worst time? Are you worried that they're professionals and every time it's a professional job. I'm just saying, like, do you think there's a best time of the day or a worst time? Are you worried that they're coming in raw, unpractised, not warmed up? I just think of myself in this situation. I would be, like, tired. Yeah.

I'd be like, oh. Hi. Give it time for the coffee to kick in. Producer Jared, your middie is in the dental industry. She is. Now what do you think her take is on this? I did message and ask if her and her colleagues. At this hour in the morning?

Oh yeah she's an early riser. As I was about to mention the dentists and the assistants get there pretty early. And the receptionist of course. Oh and then the dentists swan in later do they? No dentists there early as well. There's like a whole bunch of stuff to set up Like the drills

You've got to go to the beach and get the sand for your sandblaster For the hygienist You've got to make sure the steriliser's been turned on But does she reckon there's a best time of the day? Or is she just like, any time? Yeah, she reckons early, be the first Really? Yeah, you're fresh The dentist is fresh

You don't want to be the last because then really yeah you're fresh the dentist is fresh yeah right you don't want to be the last appointment at 6pm nah but they don't do like hand warm ups or anything

maybe a back stretch they don't do stretches maybe like some back stretches because they're always hunched over but not the dexterity of the fingers maybe the end of the day

is the worst time because they're all like hunched over all day yeah when the midi gets home sometimes I have to give it like a back rub or like a little hand aww a what because people couldn't see that I was rubbing my hand all day. Yeah, when the midi gets home, sometimes I have to give it like a back rub or like a little hand. Aww. A what?

Because people couldn't see that. I was rubbing my thumb over my tendon. I don't know what that's called. Oh, he's stuttering. He's stuttering. Yep. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn

and Hayley's silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the Silly Little Pole vibe check Do you want to see Euro summer picks From your friends that are going to Europe this summer? I've got a couple over there at the moment. I've got some friends in New York at the moment as well. Heat wave. Heat wave.

Heat wave. It's so hot in Europe. It's so hot in America right now. Oh, yeah. And I don't know. I love seeing friends on holiday. I mean, it can get a bit much if the dots get a bit too much at the top of the story. Yeah, the stories.

Quality over quantity, I'd say. Oh, like curated. Give me the goods. Yeah, the stories. Quality over quantity, I'd say. Oh, like curated. Give me the goods. Yeah. Don't just dump your crap. Yeah. You know what I mean? Give me the good stuff.

Well. Fitted. Looking hot. No. Just takes it. 55% of people said no. I mean, we're jealous. 45%.

Absolutely right. 100%. Yeah. I'm not there and I'm here and it's cold. My first European summer please let me share my joy, says Brooke. Yeah. Eh.

It's gonna be extra obnoxious because it's her first. I have this conundrum though because I'm on holiday in like two days. Yeah. And it's like, do people want it rubbed in their face? Yeah, I've been thinking about it. Yeah. I'm going on a sneaky trip, so I'm going to wait.

The only European appearances that will be on my social media will probably be my Scottish cows. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, I can't afford to go anywhere this holiday. But it's going to be nice. It's going to be, what do they call those, staycations? I reckon you should set up your green screen and pretend you're on holiday. Maybe I will's going to be nice. It's going to be, what do they call those? Staycations? I reckon you should set up your green screen

and pretend you're on holiday. Maybe I will. That'd be nice. I do have that green screen. Yeah, good. You should do that at holiday snaps every day. Put a heater on?

Yeah. Yep. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. I might do that. Number, no,

it's not the top six of one. I'm losing my mind. Silly little poll continues. Jamie says yes, because when I do my Euro summer, I'm going to do it better than you. Oh, it's not a competition. It's not a competition. It is, though.

It is. It is. It is. It's Jamie's competition. It is? Yeah. Who got more of a tan? Who looked snitch?

Not Aisha from Below Deck. Okay. Another Aisha. She'd win all the time. Yeah. Because of the boat. Because she's all these amazing chasers. Her life is one big holiday.

I voted no because I don't care for seeing them, but I also assume that everyone is like me and only posts stuff so they get the memory reminder each year. That's why I do it. That's what I use Facebook as now. Facebook is exclusively a photo album. I just thought this because it's my dad's birthday today and it was like a memory.

Four years ago and I put a post and I was like, I don't do it anymore on Facebook. And so that's going to taper out. How old is Craig today? He's 64. Many happy returns. Many happy returns. One year away.

Happy birthday to you. Craig, is he ever going to hear this. Happy birthday to you. Craig, is he ever going to hear this? Happy birthday to you. We should just stop and we should just stop. Happy birthday to you, Craig. Happy birthday to you. He's alright. He's in Italy.

Yeah. He doesn't care about our song. Whether or not we're singing. No, says Emma. I don't want to see them because I'm bitter and I'm cold. Yeah, bitter and cold. Moana, yes. Give me all the amazing pics so I can reminisce

of my time there and wish I was there for a jug of five euro white wine. Oh, goodness. Five euro white wine. Quattro litre. Henry, I don't generally

because I get jealous, but then I'll bookmark that place on my Google Maps to go there when I go sometime in the future. Ultimately, I'm happy to because I get jealous, but then I'll bookmark that place in my Google Maps to go there when I go sometime in the future. Ultimately, I'm happy to see my friends happy. Yeah. Nice boy, Henry. I've always said that.

Good boy. You know that Henry, he's a good boy. He's a good boy, nanny. It doesn't bother me, but I always think, not for me, it looks too hot. Says Ash. And where did they find the money to go to Europe for so long? This.

Yeah. Some people, like two months, I'm like, man, it's so much money. Yeah. I think this sometimes. I'll say that. And then Sade will say, they don't have a mortgage and they don't have children. I know, but sometimes I'm like, we're clocking this up on credit. Yeah, are we ticking it?

Are we ticking this up? Can you put a price, can you put a 17% interest on fun? Yeah. $10,000 to $15,000. You know. Can you put a price on happiness for it? Yep. Yeah, very easily.

With monthly repayments, can you? I thought my house would make me happier. I'll tell you how much that costs and how much it continues to cost. That's still a little pile. Right, okay. Was this you just seeking permission To post European

Do you know what though As well he's the best he's ever looked And he's going to hot boy Europe Are we hitting the beach in some Euro Speedos No absolutely not Not enough people have seen the abs Yeah more people need to see them Yeah I think we need ab pics

You need You need to post You need to post one Speedo pic. This is what happens. No, I don't have Speedo. I have swimming Speedos, but they're not beach Speedos. Get some sexy Euro Speedos. I think to make it even more alluring,

because at the end of our holiday, usually Carlin will message us and say, can we all have a photo from your holidays? We all submit a dog pic. Real sexy stuff. Real sexy stuff and yours will just be in the mix. Let people see the abs. What are they for? What are they just doing sitting under a t-shirt?

Yeah. Next on the show. Show everybody. Show them your bum. Show them your breasts. Show them all of it. You just want to see You can just ask Can I please see your penis Now

We talked a little bit about the fact that People are fatigued with the dating apps Yep Hard out there looking for a lover Hard out there looking for a lover. Hard out there looking for someone to mate and procreate. And we talked last week about the straight guys that are pretending to be bi. Yeah.

So they can like jack the algorithm. Yeah. And then get more likes from the ladies. I know. So if you're single and you're reading these articles, you may be like, oh my God, this is terrible. I'm never going to find a lover, especially me being a semi-minger.

Right? People listening may be like, you think it's hard, Hayley. You're a 10. Do they think that? This is what they're thinking. I'm just speaking on behalf of the listener. God, Hayley, you're saying dating's hard out there.

It's easy for you to say you're a bloody 10. Yeah. Pause, pause, pause for confirmation. God, what's it like for me say you're a bloody 10. Yeah. Pause pause pause for confirmation. God what's it like for me? I'm a bloody 6. Yeah. Well turns out you're in luck semi-Mingers. You are in luck. Survey, this is out of the

UK and they're more Minger than we are. Do you think they're more Minger than we are? We took some of their Minger because a lot of us are and do have quite a lot of Minger. I'm half Minger. You're half M of us do have quite a lot of minga. I'm half minga. You're half minga. I've got a dash of minga. I'm mostly Scottish minga.

Yeah. Good bit of hot Maori, hot Hawaiian. Yeah. When I say good bit, I mean 1%. And that gives you the 10, doesn't it? That makes you a 10. Apparently UK, like 81% of daters, people looking for lovers, said their ideal partner is someone who is a 6 out of 10.

Wait, is that because they think they're a 7 or 8 out of 10 and they'll be the hot one in the relationship? I don't want to be the hot one in the relationship. I'd rather be with a hottie. Wouldn't you? Oh, I don't know now. Well, that depends on what kind of person you are because if you're not the hot person in the relationship

and you're the jealous type, and a bit of insecurity sneaks in, it's going to be miserable, isn't it? Do you know why this is? It's because psychologically, people think that hotter people are less reliable and personable than people who are maybe like a little bit less attractive, more approachable, more fun, more easygoing, more honest, more open.

Less likely to cheat because they're only a six out of ten. Because you're a minga and it's harder. I just looked up the origins of the word minga and I don't think we should be saying it anymore. Oh, really? Oh, really? Yeah. It's Scottish. It's been nice working with you, Vaughan.

Oh, no. I love the word minga. I know. And don't say what. Okay? Yeah. It's Scottish. It's been nice working with you, Vaughn. Oh, no. I love the word binger. I know, but don't say what. Okay, yeah. Well, let's just move on. Okay, we'll just move on. Do you want me to pop it in the chat? Yeah, pop it in the chat.

But I'm reluctant to give this one up. I have Hayley all day long anxiety that she said it. No, I'm happy. Look, I grew up calling everything gay, you know, and I let that one go. It was the 90s. It was wild. I'm happy to part with that. I heard that in the wild recently.

Really? No, we don't say that. I heard it not so long ago as well. Oh, my God. It was so gay. I was like, what? Yeah. Where are we at?

So good news if you're a minger. Because people do. They look at your face and they think, ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Not too bad. But in their brain, they're going, this makes them more reliable, more trustworthy.

Right. We like average people. Okay. 81%. The vast majority of people, as opposed to like hot, hot hotties. Yeah. Okay. Well, now I'm worried if I ever was to break up with Aaron.

How are we going to bring this? So I'm going as a 10 thinking that it's a benefit. Yeah, you're going to have to make yourself a six, aren't you? How am I supposed to do that with a bone structure like mine? How am I supposed to do that? Prosthetics? I don't, yeah. What am I, a wizard?

Yeah. Yeah, prosthetics. I have to get prosthetics. Skateboarding down a really steep street with no sort of like facial protection on and take a big spill? I guess so. I'd have to cover up these phenomenal breasts.

I assume they were lost in the skateboarding accident. Oh, they'd have to. They'd have to scrape them off. Ground off. Ground them. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, it's been a good 12 months, I reckon. When did Jason Momoa start Follow Me?

That's what kicked it all off. When did he start Follow Me? It was about a year ago, right? Was the New Zealand release date, NZ release date of Fast X. Yeah, Fast X. And so what, you're on a bit of a high. May 18, right. So just over a year.

Okay, we'll extend a little bit. Because that was like one of the most exciting follows I've had in a long time. And, or ever, of all time ever. And it hasn't been beaten. Even when Briscoe's followed you? So that was my other one. It went, Jason Momoa followed you. Then it went, The Wiggles followed you.

That's right. That was a big day. That was crazy. You were on cloud nine. Cloud nine. A huge day. Then it went, Briscoes. Yeah.

Then it went, Chloe Swarbrick. Okay. This was of late. Yeah. Then it went, God, who was the other one? The Devil of Dublin. Yes. Who was a audio pornography content creator.

Yeah. Of which I am a big fan. Yeah. And then yesterday I got a follow from two people. One is this fella here. And I'll send a screenshot so everyone can see. But I think I have been perfectly curated some gentlemen. Oh, okay.

One of these gentlemen is a long-haired, tattooed, muscular, six-foot-six dude called Kevin Creekman. Kevin Creekman. Okay, is he real? Hayley, are you going to be scammed? Sorry, Hayley, if you just give Vaughan a moment. I think Aunty's being scammed. I think we need to look out for Aunty here.

What do you mean, look out for auntie? Now, he hasn't asked you to send any money, has he? Yeah, but just to support him on his journey, he's raising money for charity. Oh, right, okay, yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay.

Yeah. And then, oh my God, why can I not find this other person? This is how it starts. The hot people start following you and then they ask for money and now the scams are using AI voice. Quite an attractive woman added me and about 80 other people to a chat the other day

and she was offering to send us pictures of her naked self. What? And all these people were leaving the conversation. I was like, these idiots. Oh my God, where is... No, no, no, they sat on the naked pictures. There was another one. This is the whole reason I was sharing that and it's gone.

And now I'm like, wait, has he unfollowed me? And I can't remember his name. It was this guy. He's an author. Just go to followers and then order by recently followed. How do you do that? You click on your profile. You go on followers.

Followers. Shouldn't they just be there in order? Well, maybe not. No, they're not in order. I know. It used to be able to do it. Right. There was another guy who was an audio erotic author.

Yep. Also a voiceover artist. Also has long hair, a beard, tattoos. He's a bit thicker. Right. You know I like a little bit of a belly on a man. Uh-huh. And it was like this three stacked

thing of like following you yesterday. Yeah. And I was like where, what, how have I popped into the algorithm

of hot, because they're very much my algorithm. Yeah, they are. But how have they popped into Well, you know, you just start following

these people and then you get suggested to them. No, I didn't follow them. I didn't follow them. Oh, right. They followed me. They just followed you.

They followed me. And now you follow them back. No, I was going to play hard to get. You're going to play hard to get. I was a little bit going to play hard to get. You're going to wait like a couple of days. Because they'll remember, this is where my brain- The psychosis.

That found me, right? And then they've gone, I'll give her a follow. Yeah. But then they'll forget about me. Yeah. So I need to leave it a couple of days and then follow them, which will then re-bring me back in. Yeah, right.

Then we'll be like, chat. You know what I mean? Like just start messaging and be like, hey, saw that you followed me. Can't wait to hear the book or something like that. Oh, wow. Okay, that was a really good smooth. Hey, what was his name?

Kevin Walker, Walker man. Kevin Creek man. I remember him well. Creek man. He's a Creek man. So he's not the voice of a guy.

The other guy who, no, I can't find and I can only assume that he's already unfollowed me. I need to message him and be like, hey,

looking forward to the book. I don't know why my voice can't go completely on. Yeah. Hey. Luckily, it'll be typed, so you can kind of have a bit of an edit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I also want to warn everyone is that

with these hot followers, which is kind of adding to a long list of great followers I've had recently, is they will be dropping thirst traps. Right. Quite frequently. Okay, right. And if you notice, be like, why is her hair brown?

I did look better a couple of years ago. So you may notice there's a mixture of hair. Some are blonde, some are pink, some are brunette. Don't comment on it, just go with it. You're just going back into the archives, getting any photo that works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one and you just go that was a body of of your of days gone by

and it may make an appearance right so we'll just let you have that you just let me have it don't be like you're just thirst trapping yeah and if I post it on my feed don't comment like

oh my god lol 2019 what a year you know just let's just roll with it okay she's ever changing her hair okay

yeah we're just gonna go with that right okay prepare for those thirst traps Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley I, um Oh my gosh

Happy first day of school to my niece Piper That is so exciting Five years old We don't do personal shout outs No, well I'm It's adjacent to the story Is it? Happy fifth birthday

And it's her first day at school. We hardly made a bigger fuss for my birthday. Well, she's five. That's a big moment. She's 40 years younger than you. Wow. What did you get her for her birthday? Oh, my God, we got her sea monkeys.

What? We got her some sea monkeys. On behalf of parents everywhere. No, and this robot kit thing. But there got her sea monkeys What? We got her some sea monkeys On behalf of parents everywhere No and this robot kit thing But there's some sea monkeys Sea monkey madness What is she going to make a robot? She's five

You build a robot Woman in stem mate Woman in stem Yeah Yeah right Are you saying that because she's a female? No that's not what I was saying I'm like she's five

Come on Don't pick up your barbies No I'm just saying Why don't you she's a female? No, that's not what I was saying. I'm like, she's five. Why are you like, come on, one-dumb pick up your barbies. No, I'm just saying, why don't you buy her a pre-built robot? She's five. Do you know what also she got? Because it was like... Teach a man to fish.

Feed him for a lifetime. Yep. Give a woman a robot when she's five. Robot. That's the saying, I think. I've got a tear in my eye. That's beautiful. That's feminism right there. It's almost worthy of a horse. I've got a tear in my eye. That's beautiful. That's feminism right there.

It's almost worthy of a horse. Yeah, almost. Almost, but not quite. Give a man a robot, teach him to robot. Because we asked, we were like, oh, what is she into? And her mum was like sea monkeys. And we were like, oh, man, old school. Then we got there and she also got a Furby.

I was like, everything's back. Oh, yeah, Furby did pop up again a couple of years ago. That could have been like a kid's birthday in the 90s. I know. I was like, what's happening? Like Barbie's back, Furby did pop up again a couple of years ago. That could have been like a kid's birthday in the 90s. I know. I was like, what's happening? Like Barbie's back, Furby's and all this. Anyway, so we went to a little birthday party on Saturday day to celebrate Piper's birthday.

And it was there that I realised, so Aaron's entire family, massive family by the way, was there. Breeders. Breeders. Catholics. Catholics. They, was there. Breeders. Catholics. A.K.A. Catholics. I was flavour of the month.

I was. Well, you're just appointing yourself flavour of the month. I was the family favourer there. Right. I would say everyone was delighted to see me. What would you think? I'd say everyone was delighted to see me. I'd say everyone wanted to talk to me. And I would say everyone was delighted to see me. I'd say everyone wanted to talk to me. Yeah.

And I would say when it came to the kids, I was auntie of the day. Oh, wow. Because of the robot and the sea monkeys. Sea monkeys and the robot. Yeah. And I could tell, like, it was a little bit, you know, like Piper in particular, whose birthday it was, just like I was the pick of the day.

And I know when I'm not that thing, I do get a bit jealous. And you can see all the other aunties and uncles being like, what about a cuddle for? And you're like, no, no. Not as cool as Auntie Hayley. I couldn't get away. I double bounced her on the trampoline.

Oh, no, that's not a good, no, no, no. Yeah, she's tiny. She flew. I was going to say, she went over the neighbour's fence. Yeah, yeah. I'm heavier than usual as well. So holy moly, she was flying.

Thank God they put those cages around them now. Yeah. She would have absolutely gone. In the 80s, she would have died. She would have smashed them teeth out. Yeah. But at the end when we were all leaving, everyone made a comment about like,

God, you're a bloody favourite today, aren't you? You're the flavour of the month. Oh, okay. I was sensing a little bit of jealousy. Even Erin. I think at one point she denied Aaron eating food and instead told him that he could only have a tomato sauce sandwich. And we had macaroni and cheese and he genuinely,

sorry, that's Aaron messaging me now. Hayley, it's foggy. Yeah, I know, dude. Anyway. Yeah, some of us have been up since four. Hayley, Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. What's happening? Romance is alive, eh?

Yeah. I actually just missed this show day before. She's a foggy doggy. Oh, for God's sake, get in your chair anyway. Anyway, I loved being the favourite. I love being the, because I'm the favourite in my family, but being the favourite in Aaron's family is like a new little, like, win for me. Yeah.

I want to know, are you the favourite in your family? Let's get some calls and messages in. And how do you know? And the favourite child, like Like just in your family? Just out of your siblings? I genuinely felt like the favourite member. Wow, okay. Siblings, parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, everything.

It was pretty sweet being my nana's favourite. Yeah, I'm my grandad's favourite. But how do you know? It certainly never got said. Did they know? Everyone knew? Everybody knew. Right.

Everybody knew. Oh, I've talked about this, that my pop had a little shrine to me until my auntie came over from Australia and forced in her children onto the wall. Oh. Separated some of the marching photos and then chucked in a couple of bloody cousins in there

to be like a bit of a quality. And my pop was like, she's my girl. Oh, wow. Yeah, I know. Okay, well, we want to take some calls. 0800 DALESLS-IT-M. You can text through 9696. How do you know that you are the family favourite?

Maybe you've been told, like, hey, don't tell the other kids, but you are the favourite child. Maybe Nana and Papa on your brother's birthday send him a $20 no, but you've got a 50 and a scratchy. And a scratchy. Yes. 0800-DARLS-IT-M is our number. Call in. And a scratchy. Yes. 0800 dials at M is our number.

Call in. You can text through 9696. How do you know that you're the family favourite? Well, I am the decided flavour of the month in the Courtesy family.

Well, so you say. In Aaron's family. So you say. Well, his brother just messaged and said it's simply because I was wearing a pink T-shirt and so all the girls

liked me more. Because of pink. Now, that's not true. Right. It's because of my charm Now, that's not true. Right. It's because of my charm, wit, humour, and joy. We want to know if you know for a fact you are the favourite child in the family, or maybe, like Hayley, you're just a little deluded.

Do you know how this works the other way? It's not just favourite children. Someone just messaged in, I'm favourite nan. Oh, yeah, of course. My daughter and grandies live in Perth. I visit once a year, toting a bag full of treats. I'm fun time Nan, because I've got

no responsibilities for the short time I'm there. Grandson had a school project to ask one of your grandparents what's changed since your childhood. Guess who we called? Yeah. Called me. Called you. Favorite name. Yes, good stuff. Nikita, how do you know you're the favorite? Well, I know I'm not the favorite. I guess I know my sister's

the favorite. Oh, really? There's a little bit of a catch-22 there. Okay, so I'm actually hearing a bit of bitterness, Miki, there in your voice. Oh, mate, there's a lot of bitterness there. It's almost all me sour. Oh, my God. So why are you sour?

How do you know, like, what's happened? Well, I guess it's gone on for almost a decade where my sister has had access to the family batch in Whangamata for eight years where me and my brother and his family have never got a look in. Yeah, well, there's more to this than meets the eye. You unfavourites always think there's no reason. I know. I reckon you did something wrong when you were there once or you didn't tidy up or you don't keep things nice.

Yeah. Well, it's hard to do that when you don't get a look in in the first place, though. Hard to make a mess there when you were there once or you didn't tidy up or you don't keep things nice. Yeah. Well, it's hard to do that when you don't get a look in in the first place, though. Hard to make a mess there when you're not invited. Yeah, alright. Yeah, right. You talk about people having rose-tinted glasses on, but I think my mum's head's in the sand.

Oh my god, Nikita, I love it. And talk like that's why you're not getting the whangamata batch this summer either. Because you are disrespecting your mum. I can't believe it. See, summer rolls around and your sister and the family's at the batch and you're not. Well, yeah. Well, they've kind of weaseled their way into it that their house is being rented at the moment

while they get to live in the batch too. So it's kind of like, oh, can someone rent my house and I go live in Funga Matar? I see further down the track there's going to be some lawyers involved. Yes, I can. Thanks for your corner, Nikita. Josie, good morning. Hi. Are you the favourite? Yes, I think I am. Oh, how do you

know? Well, I didn't have to pay anything for my first car and my sister is having to pay for at least half of it. Although, you know, we are in a cosy living crisis now. That's what she's trying to say.

Yeah, this was kind of me as well, mostly because by the time I was getting my first car, my brother moved overseas. So I got hand-me-down cars and he was always like, you're just getting free cars. I was like, come home. Well, yeah, that was supposed to be the plan that I upgraded,

and she got my car, but it just hasn't worked out like that. Yeah, but you're the favourite, so who cares? You're the favourite, who cares? Yeah, suck it up, sis. Are you the favourite child? And how do you know? Or just the favourite person in your family? I know, we've got favourite parents, favourite grandchildren.

I'm going to hit some texts. I'm the favourite daughter-in-law when we go to new places. I get literally introduced as the favourite daughter-in-law. People come up to me and say, that's so funny. Are you the only one?

There's two of us. Oh my God! Yeah. I'm the favourite because my mum and stepdad relocated from Tauranga to the Waikato when I became pregnant.

My brother already had kids here. Oh, so your parents like moved for you, but not him. And my mother-in-law has a Snapchat group with me and the husband called My Favourites. I've always been known. I love that. Chelsea, are you the favourite in your family? No, I'm not the favourite. Oh, no.

How do you know? One year, my grandfather bought my brother and I some scratchies for Christmas and we were all sat around the table scratching our scratchies and I won $10 and I was really excited about it and my granddad, no hesitation, turned

to me and he goes, oh that was meant for your brother. Oh my god. Oh wow. And see, the fact they're even telling us means we haven't let it go and it's lived with you this whole time. There's some trauma there.

Yeah. Yeah, just a bit. Yeah. Did that carry on as you were growing up? The favouritism? Yeah, it did. It definitely did, yeah. Do you know what?

You're our favourite. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you are. I actually have? You're our favourite. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you are. I actually have no time for your brother. I don't either. All my time is for Chelsea. I'm not saying meet the brother that I reckon he's probably got. No.

Chelsea sounds lovely. I'm not sure how good her brother must be. Actually, yeah, if Chelsea's this nice and he's the favourite, he may be like... He may be really nice. We may be too early to say Chelsea's our favourite. Yeah, sorry. I'm just going to take that back, Chelsea,

just until we've got all the facts. Just until we meet your brother. Yeah, yeah, and then we'll decide. Okay, so whenever that is, we'll let you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And maybe we'll give you guys out of 10. Yeah, yeah. If you just give our producers your brother's information,

we'll do some research. Yeah. And we'll let you know. For now, you're the favourite until we meet him. Yeah. Okay, Chelsea, thank you. Enjoy your day. Our favourite Chelsea.

Some messages. I recently got engaged to my partner at a similar time that my sister announced their pregnancy to her partner out of wedlock.

My grandparents kept whispering to me how proud they are of me doing it the right way. Oh, God. In 2024. My sister's the favourite.

She lives in Wellington. I'm in Hamilton. My mum goes to see my sister five times a year. I've been in Hamilton for seven years. She's come to see me twice. Do you know about the gardens?

That might be a Hamilton thing, though. No offence. Yeah, maybe send her a link to the gardens. That'll get her there. I was my great grandad's favourite. He was apparently deaf, but would always hear when my car would pull in the driveway and come out and greet me

while simultaneously ignoring my great grandmother or any other guests in the house at the time who he claimed he couldn't hear. That sounds selective to me. Yeah, it does. My nan has a blatant favorite from each of her three daughters' families. She's not subtle about it. She'll let you know.

Oh, I like you from you. Yeah. I like this one from that one and that one from this one. I've only got the time for one of you in my life. We haven't done I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name for a while, have we? Long time. It's been a while.

For those new to the show, Elise Dewan says good morning, Elise. Good morning. Now, Vaughan is going to ask you five questions about your mum and then with his psychic abilities, he's just going to try to guess her name.

And I think this year, has there ever been a failure? We've maybe done it five times this year. If we're having fun, who cares? If we're having fun, what is failure? Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. Failure is a lack of fun. I just shot the basketball and almost got a goal. I've been on fire today with the Instagram. Well, that's failure though, almost. The NBA wouldn't count that. Oh. Failure is a lack of fun. I just shot the basketball and almost got a goal. I've been on fire today with the Instagram.

Well, that's failure, though, almost. The NBA wouldn't count that. Oh. Failure. What are we having fun? Okay. Now, Elise, first question for you. What's your mum's year of birth?

Oh, she is 1963. 63. I'm really impressed I know this. It's sort of like, what's that? I just said I'm really impressed I know this. It's sort of like, what's that? I just said I'm really impressed I know that. Yeah, I know how old my mum is, but not the year of birth. You're her daughter, so you probably should know. It's not a test.

It's not a test to be the best daughter. And we all know 63 is somewhere in her four-digit pin. Yeah. Because that's how old girls play. I said today was my dad's 64th birthday earlier. It's not. He's 63 today. Oh, my God.

Wow. Okay. So you've done better than me. Sure. That's his date of birth. That's just some simple maths there. So that's going to give you a vintage name? I mean, that's your cat.

That is prime Karen territory. Yeah. Karen. That is right in the middle of Karen. Cath. There'll be a Cath in that kind of vintage. Belinda. You are also at that sick when you're into the 60s.

You're starting to move into your jewelies and your... Sharon. Yeah, man. And your... Sharon. Sharon. It's a vintage... Much like a Patsy in there.

Because it's sort of your Patsy vintage. Barbara. Barb. You know, there's a... Barbara Cababra. Barbara Cababra. There's a Patsy on Love Island. Is there? Because it's sort of your Patsy vintage, isn't it? Barbara. You know there's a... There's a Patsy on Love Island. Is there? Yeah. A little young for Patsy. Crazy, eh?

What's the next holiday mum's got planned? Noosa, surely. Fiji. Fiji. So good. Has she been to Noosa? She sure has. Of course she has. She's a New Zealand, of course she has. 100. Sandy's been to Noosa.

She's a New Zealand woman in her 60s. Yeah. She's been at least twice to Noosa. Has Leanne. She loves Port Douglas. Julie loves Noosa. Yeah, Julie loves Port Douglas. I've already got Julie on the line.

I might check with Paula. I might check with Christine because my mum loves Port Douglas. She loves Noosa and Port mum loves Mum's actually going to Samoa tomorrow Oh beautiful They're spicing things up They're cycling around Samoa Cycling?

On e-bikes or actual bikes? I think e-bikes It's gotta be e-bikes It's kind of cheating isn't it but at least it's at least it's some exercise for them They're getting some vitamin D It's good it's getting out there

it's keeping the heart going isn't it Now we've had a Debra in on the text machine and that feels spot on Oh yeah that does It's in the vicinity I, isn't it? Now, we've had a Deborah in on the text machine, and that feels spot on. Oh, yeah, that does. It's in the vicinity. I can imagine Debs in Port Douglas. Debbie for sure.

Debbie, yeah. Debbie and Debra. Elizabeth. Let me ask you. Wendy? Just a Wendy just came to me there. Okay. Shit.

How many times has mum been married? This is the first time. Just once. Yeah, I knew it. Still on her first marriage? Still on her first. Congratulations. once. Yeah, I knew it. She's still on her first marriage? Still on her first. Congratulations. Good old Helen.

Yeah, that's good. Helen, oh yeah. First time round for Helen. Old Heather. Heather and Helen. They don't get divorced. Yeah, I already had Helen on my list. So that might be a good sign there.

Andrea. What if it's something like a Martha? No. No, I'm off. Don't put it on the list. It's not my game. No, I'm off. Andrea. What if it's something like a Martha? Nah. And I'm off. Don't put it on the list. It's not my game. No, I'm off. Yeah, I felt it too the moment it came out.

What are mum's best friend's names? Question four. Joy and Debbie. Oh, yeah. Joy and Debbie. Joy and Debbie. Yeah. And Sandy.

You guys were getting a good feel on Debbie before. Yeah, but Debbie's in Joy. Did they invite Joy and Debbie to Noosa as well? Oh, no, but there's a lot of lunch. They do a lot of lunches. A lot of lunches. Lynette. Lynette.

Lynn? Lynn. Lynn, yep. I'll give you a Lynn. What's mum's hobby? This is my last question. What's mum's major hobby? Could be a sport.

Could just be an activity. Passion. Facebook. Facebook. Facebook. Oh, that worries me. What's her speciality on Facebook? Is it promotions?

Resharing promotions? Posting? Political? Misinformation? Posting? She likes to post. Julia. You've got to have a Julie on there.

Julie. I've got a Julie. We're parked up. We're parked up with a Julie. there. Julie. I've got a Julie. We're parked up. We're parked up with a Julie. Would Kate be? Have you got a Kate? Don't be absurd. You're well off there.

When you said Catherine. Yeah. Okay. Catherine. What are some of the other female royals? You know, those kind of names. Elizabeth, I've got. You've got Liz.

You've got Liz. Victoria. I don't have a Margaret. Oh, you have Victoria. Vicky. Vicky. Vicky and Anne. Vicky got Liz. You've got Liz. I don't have a Margaret. Oh, you have Victoria. I took a Margaret. Vicky. Vicky. Yeah, Vicky and Anne. Vicky and Anne.

Vicky. Yeah. Victoria. Yeah, but Vicky. She goes by Vicky because she's funny. She might go by Vicky. There's a lot of Vickys for her. When she's on the island, she's Vicky.

When she's in New Zealand, she's Victoria. Right, okay. Okay. Okay, you've got a lot of names there. Okay, Elise, Vaughn now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughn, your time starts now. Karen, Rachel, Julie, Jennifer, Bridget, Louise, Helen, Anna, Sharon, Patsy, Barbara, Leanne,

Paula, Christine, Deborah, Elizabeth. Stop, that's my mum's name. Which one? Christine. Yes, your mum's name too And she loves Port Douglas She loves Port Douglas

Beautiful But mum doesn't post on Facebook Yeah The only time mum posts on Facebook Is when she's like Don't accept a friend request from me I think I've been hacked Yeah, great

I love that Elise, that is fantastic. That means you have triggered the bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Now, no questions here, but just one guess for dad's name. It'll be Douglas. So it's Christine and John. Well, you're only thinking of Ian, aren't you? Yeah, because that's your dad's name. It'll be Douglas. I don't know if Port Douglas is coming up. So it's Christine and John. Well, you're only thinking

of Ian, aren't you? Yeah, because that's your Dad's name. At a slight impasse with Ian. Ian. Christine. It's always a Beatle. Don?

Don. Donald. Oh my God, Christine and Don. Nah, it's not Christine and Don. Off to Port Douglas. Did you hear Don and Chris just got back from Port Douglas? Dave.

It could be a Dave. It could be Chris and Dave. Yeah, it could be Chris and Dave. Dave's out there. It's not Dave. No. It's not Dave? I don't think so.

You're not feeling a Dave? I'm off today. Let's walk through the alphabet and you guys tell me when you're feeling a good earthen connection. Okay. Okay. When you feel the strongest connection to a letter. Yeah.

A, B, C. Barry. I was on B. I was on B. Barry? No, you went too early Bruce Could be Bruce

Bruce Chris and Bruce Chris and Bruce Chris and Bruce Chris and Bruce I was feeling the B B, C, D, E, F, G It's not Frank

It's not Graham Graham It's Bruce Oh Graham That's a vintage Chris and Graham Chris and Graham I don't know

It could be anything. Okay, Vaughan, pick a name. You have one guess. You've got your shoes on. He's got his bloody shoes on. He's got his big heavy work boots on. I'm insulated from shocks and earthing energy. And earthing energies.

It's Graham or it's Barry. I don't know. I feel like Graham would be more popular with that kind of vintage. Yeah, that vintage Graham would have been massive. Everyone's name is Graham. Do you know what I mean? You're right. That's simply not true.

And they've all got different ways of spelling it. Yeah, they do. E's, H's. I didn't like the G-R-A-E-M-E. I prefer the Graham. I love Graham. I'm a grey. I'm glad we're all grey.

That's why we get on so well. That's why we've got an agreed spelling of Graham. We see a Graham that spells an A-E-M. We're like, no, no, no, no, no. What's that? It's G-R-A-H-A-M. It's the only way to spell Graham. Okay, well, what are you locking in, Bourne?

I mean, it's got to be Graham. It's got to be Graham. Okay. Elise, what is your dad's name? It's so close. It's the right letter, but it's Greg. Greg! Next door.

It's next door. It was Greg. Greg! Next door. It's next door. It was Greg. It's Greg over from there. Next door. Elise, unfortunately, you didn't win the bonus round, but you did win $100 because Vaughan did guess Christine, your mum's name. Well done.

Chris and Greg. Sounds good, doesn't it? Yeah, Chris and Greg. Chris and Greg off to dinner now. Our regards to both of them, and I hope they enjoy Fiji. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Are you okay? I got distracted by a hot guy

on my Instagram. Okay, right. Yeah. Put the Instagram down. Sorry. See you soon. Now, this Saturday, no, you know me,

I'm a party girl. I'm a party girl in a party world. Life is fantastic. Yep. No, I can't say that. Now, I'm a party girl in a party world. Life is fantastic. Yep. Oh, no, I can't say that. Now, I had a big weekend. Friday night, went out with you for your birthday.

Yep. BYO with some friends. And actually, there were kick-ons, and I said no. And it sort of like opened up a world. You didn't miss out on that. The kick-ons were sitting on my couch, and then I just went to bed. Yeah, that'll happen when you polish off a box of Albers at dinner, Carl Fletcher. Oh, Vaughan Smith.

Oh, wow. Oh, I was watching. I was watching. Someone was judging and counting. Also, I polished off my bowl of wine and his wife's. Yeah. Because Sade was driving and she had a bottle of bubbles there. Please drink in moderation, people.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, I was lucky. While we were eating, we certainly weren't not eating. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Didn't we eat? The duck.

The duck. The duck. The duck. They were cheeky on the duck because we ordered the two, enough, like two ducks and they, but one duck, and they piled around on top of prawn crackers. Now, I love prawn crackers, but they shouldn't be that expensive. That wasn't two ducks and they but one duck and they pile around on top of prawn crackers now I love prawn crackers but they shouldn't be

that expensive that wasn't two ducks that wasn't two ducks that was one that was one that was one thin duck it could have been a skinny duck

it was one skinny duck did we ask him could have been an ozempic duck an ozempic duck okay anyway so that was a great night

on Friday Sunday night had dinner plans last night busy day Sunday Saturday was our Duck. Okay. Anyway, so that was a great night on Friday. Sunday night had dinner plans last night. Busy day Sunday. Saturday was our niece's fifth birthday. So packed weekend. So when I received a message from Vaughn saying, hey, like miss you, like gagging to hang out.

Man, it was such a blast hanging out last night. Let's do it again today. Similar lines. Knowing Vaughn, I don't know if it would have read like that. It was like, Hales, my girl. Man, I miss you already. Let's hang. No, I got a text from Vaughan. It literally said.

It literally said. Because we discussed the fact that Saturday night was a doubleheader. The Warriors. Don't want to talk about it. Just on that, why is no one saying up the wires anymore we are we're just

saying it was it not the fact that they lost 66-6 at the weekend number of the devil god that's embarrassing that's like pack up for the season

it was I believe equal to our worst defeat yeah yikes I carumba I messaged Hayley I said what are you guys doing tonight? The

walkers are coming here to watch the Waz and the rugby and have dinner. But it's not a piss up, it's not a effing 2am sing along, it's watch the rugby, yell at the TV, end of game, tip our hat, good evening to everybody. Right, wow, he's setting the parameters there, the guidelines.

I read it as like, miss you babe, can't wait to hang tonight, let's get on it, get in that spa, let's get peeing in the bush, let's hang out. This is why I had to spell it so straight to her because she sees everything as a bloody kick-off. I couldn't wait. Anyway, I was

keen, but I don't know, I felt it in my soul that the couch was calling my name. Yeah, good. And so in a world first, and you know me, almost every Friday we'll leave this office and you go out the front door. Me and Vaughan go downstairs in the cars. I always say, hey, pop over for a cocktail this afternoon if you're free.

Or like, why don't you pop over for a drink? He's like, I've got to do this. Ah, we're having Negroni sours. Pop over for a cocktail. He's always like, eh, no. Oh, what are you doing this weekend? We're going to have some cocktails. Ah, don't tell me.

Don't tell Sade. I don't want to come. Oh, we're going to pop to the National. So he finally extends an invite. He's always poo-pooing me and I'm always like, oh, we won't come over and play. He finally invited me. And do you know what?

I said no. She said no. Are you like maturing or something? I was proud. Because Sade said, I said,. She said no. Are you like maturing or something? I was proud. Yeah, what's... Because Sade, I said, oh, the... Because then you started talking to Sade. I was like, she's going to be in her ear.

Yeah, Sade was like, come over and watch the rugby. And I was like, you know what? I just, I seen the couch a movie and we got fish and chips. And we stayed in. Glorious. We had one little drinky poo and that was it. This is mature from you. Thank you.

And do you know what? I was waking up like a spring chicken on Sunday. Not that we would have kicked on but I would have found that hidden box of Chardonnay in your pantry. The reserve Chardonnay. But it was a big move for me to say no to a social occasion. Especially from someone

who I'm always asking to hang out. Yeah, very proud. Always says no. And then how much sleep did you get last night? Three hours. It was like my body was like, you've had too much sleep this weekend. No hangover? What are you doing wrong?

Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. This week's Our Family of the Day theme is pretty lazy, I'll be honest with you. Oh, great. It's celebrities that went to school together. I'm sort of excited for this, though. Well, you've only got to come up with three of these.

Because Wednesday will be our last show before the two-and-a-half-week break. Yes. But by the way, we will, in our absence, have the Christmas Cocktail Midwinter Special. Yeah. Gorgeous. Podcasting.

Well, today's fact of the day is that Rami Malek, Oh, yeah. Kirsten Dunst. Yes. And Rachel Bilson from the OC. Oh, yeah. Kirsten Dunst. Yes. And Rachel Bilson from the OC. Oh, shut up. All went to school together at Notre Dame. Yep.

At Notre Dame High School in California. Successful year. But this is, so Remy Malik was asked about his famous co-students. And he said that he had a massive crush on Kirsten Dunst who by that time had already been

in an interview with the Vampire as a Kid and also Jumanji along with a couple of other things so he had a massive crush on her right

he's a lot older than I thought he's 43 I thought he was in his sort of 30s yeah no he's 43 is he 43 yeah

because when he played Freddie Mercury he played Freddie younger yeah and then a little bit into a little bit towards his... He just looks really good for his age, doesn't he? Great skin. Great skin. Oh, he's short.

So he had a big crush on Kirsten Dunst and then they asked him about Rachel Bilson and he was just like, apparently she was at school. Huh. Never noticed her. Was she a nerd? I don't know. Or was he a nerd?

Or was it just a giant school that was so... But you know the faces of everyone at school? Huh. Never noticed her. Was she a nerd? I don't know. Or was he a nerd? Or was it just a giant school that was so, but you know the faces of everyone at school, even giant schools, right? It wouldn't have been that long out of school that she got the role

on the OC either, would it? Nah. So was that 2003? Yeah, yeah. I want to say 2003. Yeah. And just show you.

Is that what it's like going to school on like Hollywood in LA? Like everyone's parents would be famous actors or like directors or? Yeah. No, what it's like going to school in Hollywood in LA? Everyone's parents would be famous actors or directors. Yeah. I think in response

to this, I remember this now. This was a bit of drama. In response to that interview, Rachel Bilson posted a photo of them at high school together. Really? And was like, we knew each other. Oh, so do you think there's a bit of beef?

Maybe. Also, glow up. He's glowed up. Okay, okay, okay. She looks like Rachel Bilson as we know it. She looks amazing. He looks sort of like a thick douche. Yeah.

A douche bag. He looks like a douche bag. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, okay, so today's Fact of the Day on celebrities who went to school together. We're Kirsten Dunst, Remy Malek, and Rachel Bilson all went to school together the same year, Notre Dame School in California.

Fact of the Day, Day, Day, day, day. You gotta do it. A big study has been done looking at the sweet spot of schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. I've heard it before, but I don't really understand it. So this is a German word. Schadenfreude, pleasure derived from somebody else's misfortune. Oh, yeah. So, I mean, if you've got someone.

I know it in my soul. Yes. If you've got someone you dislike, maybe someone you work with or maybe a friend and it may be falling out and something bad happens to them, you're like, huh. Even when you don't know them, you know those videos online and it's like some Karen or bloody male Karen being like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, and they turn around and fall over. You're just like.

Yeah. It's brilliant, right? It feels good. They looked into this in terms of how they could use shard and fraud for fundraising and for charities to fundraise. What? Yeah. So they did this whole bunch of research and they found that people are willing to donate to see something they don't like.

Sorry, to donate to see someone they don't like experience a mild inconvenience. How would you make that happen, Bella? I'll pay you a hundred bucks if you got my enemy and bloody in their house. So they asked people doing the study to imagine celebrities they disliked being doused with a bucket of ice water. Oh yeah, right, right, right.

Also compared that to like celebrities they didn't like being shocked with a taser. Oh, they're so shocked. It's a bit far and they found yeah that people they drew a line they don't want to

see people hurt like too much they want them to have a mild inconvenience love that and then they get off on that they're like

that person that person I like like slipped over on the floor they didn't slip over on the floor and break their neck but they hurt themselves

they hurt themselves and you know it's embarrassing for them. They want to see these people be embarrassed. And that's why they were looking at this in terms of fundraising. Like if you were to hold a fundraiser and there were things like maybe you cream-pied

someone's face, it's a little embarrassing. Or maybe you dunk them in a water tower like at a fair. Do you know someone already texted, and this is a great example of this, because a lot of people, like you don't have a lot of enemies but you always remember your school bullies and someone messaged in saying, as the fat

kid at school who was now thin, I take great pleasure in watching bullies get fat as they get older. Just be like, well, yeah. Wait, and this is the question I wanted to ask. Have you taken pleasure, or is there a moment where you took pleasure in someone else's misfortune?

Like, obviously not serious stuff. I mean, maybe, if you're an absolute sadist. I actually feel like you might have opened a wee valve here. Really? Already messages coming in? A little vent, yeah. Okay, I love this. A little vent has been, the pressure cooker has been released.

But that's the thing, if someone's like horrible to you, of course you're going to find pleasure in them walking into a pole. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Or would you find pleasure if their marriage broke up? Would you be like,

couldn't it happen to a nicer person? If you had been with someone, like you were in a relationship with someone, they cheated on you, you split up and then you watch their a relationship with someone, they cheated on you, you split up. And then you watched their new relationship crumble. You'd absolutely love it.

That would give you so much pleasure. You'd just be like, yes. That would give you so much pleasure. Someone messaged in saying, is this like every time Australia loses or something? Yeah. We're taking pleasure from somebody else's misery. A little bit of pleasure in that. It's exactly like that.

Have you ever taken pleasure in somebody else's misfortune It is. A little bit of pleasure in that. It's exactly like that. Have you ever taken pleasure in somebody else's misfortune or situation? Wow. That text. When I used to go to, this is a bit brutal. Let me just make sure

it's not there. I didn't know if they would be this brutal. Okay. When I used to go to my stepchildren's sports, I would will the ball with all my might

to smash my husband's ex-wife right in the face. It hit her a few times which made me chuckle. Wow. Never got it in the face though. Julie, what happened? When did you take pleasure

in somebody else's misfortune? Yeah, so many years ago I worked in a cafe and we had a regular who would come in just really ill-mannered. Just, you know, one of those guys that was constantly in a bad mood. I do know those guys.

Yep, yep. Just a dick, basically. Just a dick. Comes in one Saturday and a really attractive lady walked in behind him. And the whole time he's sort of scamming on her, looking her up and down, you know, kicking her out. And she walks out just before him. Now, this is early 90s Newmarket and all along the sidewalk were sandwich boards. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And he managed to trip four on one sandwich board, career down five of them, like literally slide. And my friend and I were like, should we go and give him first aid? And we were like, no. And we just high-fived each other and just got on with our day. Like five sandwich boys. And I felt so bad thinking about that story.

I'm 50 now, so I'm a fully grown, mature, adult lady. Oh, she's a lady. She's a lady. I'm a lady.

But, um, at the time, I was like, nah, you're a dick. Like, we hate you.

When you come in, we're like, you serve him. Like, no one ever wanted to serve this guy. I love it. I love that. I hate you. When you come in, we're like, you serve him. Like, no one ever wanted to serve this guy. I love it, though. I love that. I love that all these years later

you're just like, that still makes me laugh. Yeah, that's brilliant. Julie, thank you. Anonymous. Anonymous. When did you take pleasure in someone else's misfortune?

Is that me? That's you, darling. Yeah. Sorry. Well, it's kind of, yeah. So my husband and his sister voice has some sort of weird like competitiveness between them and then um we had three girls and we were really hoping our next pregnancy would be a boy so each time she got pregnant we were praying that

she would have a girl and not a boy oh my god wait and did she yes he had three girls and we got the only boy in the family you will willed it. Because you willed it. Because you willed it, yeah. Because you willed it. And then you were like, you're evil. She had a girl. Yeah, and we're the lucky ones.

It's the only boy after having three girls. It was a girl. It was a girl. Oh, that's so funny. Anonymous, brilliant. Thank you. No judgment from us. We want to know

when you've taken pleasure in someone else's situation. We're going to love the text. Let's get into them. My old boss was a sociopath and a bully. We had a large corporate event and he insisted on being first off the bus.

He was being videoed off the bus and it was on record when he tripped and fell straight out of the bus. Although you can't laugh at that because you

I've punched myself in the face getting off the bus. It's not funny. Yeah, you've got to be very careful getting off the bus. My son's father is

piss poor at paying child support. He obviously got a tax refund this year and I got a cheeky $800 child support payment. IRD sucks, but they're a great tool for karma. There you go. He's just paying what he owes you.

My sister-in-law had an affair which devastated my brother. The marriage obviously ended and I giggle every time I hear about what an awful human being she's with now. Oh yeah, good. It's a shit show of a relationshipiggle every time I hear about what an awful human being she's with now. Oh, yeah, good. It's a shit show of a relationship. And every time I hear about their on and off again relationship, I giggle.

I hope they're starting the counter at zero every time. Each time, they better. We've been together four times. My then long-term girlfriend cheated on me while overseas with an American. She sold, wrapped up everything here and moved to live with him in America because they were in love and New Zealand doesn't offer her anything. Found out a few years later that he'd cheated on her before the green card application went through so she had to come back. My favourite thing about this

next message which is about the Crusaders. Saying every time I think about the Crusaders season it makes me really happy about this particular person that kept on going about it. They love that they ended their text suck it Michael. I love it. We're all just children. We're just children posing as adults.

Of sad Crusaders players. And even now he started sending him pictures of happy blues players. Suck it, Michael. Suck it, Michael. Suck it, Michael. My high school bully had her car broken into while we were at school. That made me happy. Two weeks later, her car got stolen.

Made me even happier. And then she ends that one with, shame you, cow. You cow. My ex-flatmate cut up all my dresses when I didn't attend her party because I was spending time with my dying father. What? She's now fat and her marriage is crumbling and she can't get a job in the

field. She said, I relish in this. Oh my god. Someone said, when you tell your kids 50 times to pick up their toys and they don't and then they trip over over Said toys and hurt themselves Little bit gold Yeah Little sprinkling

Of parenting gold An awful lady I worked with Got caught in a lie On her immigration papers When her partner Was coming over She got deported

Back to South Africa The way I cackled When she told us My ex got a 20,000 dollar loan out To buy a Hilux, thinking that would get me back. What?

Ever heard of someone breaking up in the middle? Actually, I'm getting back with Trevi Borer Hilux. I mean, a Hilux. It's a Hilux. It's handy if you need a token. It's so handy, having been with a man with a U. Didn't get back with him. He ended up crashing it a week later, had no insurance,

so had to pay out of pocket to fix it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Didn't get it back for a month before so had to pay out of pocket to fix it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Didn't get it back for a month before he had to sell it to pay off the loan he'd taken to get it. My manager absolutely belittles me in front of our colleagues with the tiniest, most insignificant mistake. You bet I loved it when she accidentally paid wages a week early, being tens of thousands of dollar mistake being made there that she had to admit to it. My sister's kid is a spoiled little arsehole.

Christmas last year, she took my son's present and broke it. My sister was like, she's only little. Just let her have it. Oh, that just shits me. She's only little. Let her have it. Well, she's just a kid. She doesn't know any better.

Well, five minutes later, she tripped up and face planted aftered after running around like an idiot, after being told not to. So that made me feel pretty good. Joy. Wow. Made me feel very, very good. You look so stressed reading some of these. Because some of them, like, Vaughn's just raw-dogging it and reading them from top to bottom. I'm like, some of them.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm doing a quick fly. You're good. You're a good boy. Okay, once when working in a restaurant and making a cappuccino for a guy, also, you know, grub. Yeah. After putting it down in front of him,

he took a sip, clicked his fingers at me and shouted, cold, and swung the coffee in my direction without even looking at me. Coffee flew everywhere. I took the cap back and, cap back? Took the cup back and filled it up again, put the frothing wand into the cup

and heated it up to boiling point. Took it back to him and said, how's that to boiling point. Took it back to him and said, how's that? Oh no, took it back to him and said, hot. He then proceeded to burn his mead and maroon lips. Good. That's good stuff.

That's cold. Oh yeah. A lady I know, I won't reveal how I know her, stole donations that were given to her for her sick son. She bought a car. She wrote on it.

What? She wrote it off before she got it insured. In the words of Jojo Siwa, karma's worse. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast.

Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review,

and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.