ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th November 2023

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

- Hayleys renovations- Friday Flashback- Do you run a test on your dates?- Have you have a secret wedding?- Top 6- Fact of the dayyyyyySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley minus Vaughan today, who's still on his Disney cruise. Yes. In the middle of the ocean. It doesn't actually, it doesn't port.

I think the one he's on just does a loop around the Pacific. Yeah, loop de la. Yeah, and they just, a lot of Minnie and Goofy and... Yeah, all of them. It looks like a lot of characters. Yeah, a lot of characters, a lot of energy, a lot of kids. Yeah, I think that's why he's drowned. Every time we see a photo, he's with a cocktail.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, he doesn't have to drive anywhere. Minnie and Mickey, excuse me, it's a little sort of burp hiccup. Minnie and Mickey can look after the kids. Yeah. I think, do you know what's happening? As I'm a bit clogged and I was sneezing yesterday,

it's the change of the season. Yeah. Hay fever season is among us. Yeah, it is. So I've got to start taking my histies. Pop a histy? Pop a, I don't know if that's a term. Is that a term?

Pop a histy? All right, you lot, pop a histy. Now, coming up on the show, you've come to work with Hangover today. Is that wine-induced? Yeah, a bit of dust. Red? A bit of a sprinkling of dust. No, white.

Because scientists have done a bit of a look into why some people get headaches with red wine. Like, yes. And for me, like, only a couple of glasses of red. Yeah, exactly. No, that's what they've said. Even if you have one or two, you get a headache. Yeah. We'll delve into this research soon on the show.

Top six coming up. It's Black Friday. Yes. Happy Black Friday to you. Happy Black Friday and also to you, sir. Now, you may remember earlier in the week we talked about the traffic jam at Westfield in Auckland. The new market one year, people got stuck in their cars. So I've got the top six ways to be prepared for the Black Friday sales today.

Wherever you are in New Zealand, if you're hitting them all of the shops. Yeah, I've got some hot tips from a pro shopper. Next on the show though. This is very exciting. This has really tickled you, hasn't it? This has tickled me very much. There is an interactive website that you can put your location and it shows you where you'll pop up on the other side of the globe.

Let's see where we are and where we could be if we burrowed through the earth. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I don't know where I found this, but there is a website called antipodesmap.com and you can put in any location, even your own location where you are right now. I'm just putting in Auckland, New Zealand. That's where I am personally. Yeah. But, like, can you put it to your exact, like, house, your street address and stuff?

Yeah, you can if you don't have a work computer that is totally— That blocks your— That you can't access anything to it. So I've just put in our postcode. Yeah. Auckland 1010. Yeah. That's us. So central. Yeah. And what the website does is it shows you if you were to, and I used to think about

this as a kid. Yeah. If you would tunnel down where we are, if we started digging in this studio right now. Well you'd die. You would die. You don't know that. Have you tried it? You'd hit the magma. Have you tried it? You'd hit the molten. You. You would die. You don't know that. Have you tried it? You'd hit the magma. Have you tried it? You think you would die?

You'd hit the gooey stuff in the middle of the earth that's like red hot. That's a real no attitude. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being... I'm hearing a lot of problems and not a lot of solutions. It shows you if you were to burrow through the earth directly down, will you pop out on the other side?

I love this. Because have you seen people that have made earth sandwiches? Oh, yeah. This is how they do it. They use this website. So they're like, here's my home address. And then they find the person that lives. And they make an earth sandwich.

And they just hold a bit of bread to the ground and they take a photo and get the other person to do it. I love that. Well, can I access someone who lives in Malaga, Andalusia in Spain? Malaga? Is that how you? Oh, I just said Malaga. Malaga. I think that's how you say it, Malaga.

Oh, I've never been to Malaga. So Spain is, Malaga in Spain is directly under Auckland Central. Yeah. Oh my God, that's so cool. Because then it gives you the coordinates and they're very similar except east and west. So if we had location services turned on our browser, we're not allowed location services. We're not allowed.

We're not allowed. We're not even allowed to stop the screen from dimming. Heaven forbid. It's a security breach. Put in another city like Christchurch or something. Okay. Christchurch, New Zealand Okay. I do love this. Because you can just pop in the middle of the ocean.

That's cool. We're in a country. So the example that it had up on the website, oh, Christchurch, Hans, you're on the cusp of Lugo, Galicia in Spain. In Spain, okay. But Christchurch, I'm sorry, you're on the coast. You're in the ocean.

Oh, no. The example they had was Scranton near New York, which is the home of the office. Yes, it is, yeah. The American office. They were right in the bloody middle of the ocean. Okay, where else should I do? Do Wellington.

We'll do Wellington. We'll do the main cities. Do the main cities. I don't know about Hamilton. It's going to be like, who? We'll do Hamilton then. We'll do Wellington. We'll do the main cities. Do the main cities. I don't know about Hamilton. Hamilton's going to be late. We'll do Hamilton then. We'll do Hamilton. Okay, Wellington, you are... This is so much fun. Are they in the ocean? Are they in the ocean? No, they're slightly over.

Here we are. In Spain? Yeah, we're all in Spain. We're a very small country, aren't we? We're all in Spain, boo. Valladolid in Castile in Leon, Spain. Okay. Okay, well, let's do... We'll do Hamilton. Should we do...

Do all the main weather flyover centres. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what... Oh, now I can hear someone in Timaru saying, don't Timaru. Oh, what about us? Hamilton, you are in...

I hate to... You're still in Spain. We're still in Spain. Still in Spain. That's really happening. Cordoba in Andalusia, Spain. Oh, lovely. Let's do...

Is that how they work out your sister cities? Or do they just pick one? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. Who's our sister city? I don't know. Melbourne?

I'll Google Auckland. I'm going to do Melbourne and see if we can get out of Spain. Okay. This is great fun. Antipodesmap.com. Ooh, do you know Auckland City, there's quite a few sister cities. LA is one of them.

But Brisbane's one of them. Ooh, we don't want them. Oh, yeah, we are. They're like our trash cousin. Yeah, how embarrassing at Christmas is always like, oh God, watch out for bloody. Melbourne, you're alone. Oh my God, I love this.

Your location, you're alone in the ocean, and it says you're alone and the water is so cold. We're even close to Melbourne. You're literally in the middle of the ocean. A lot of fun. Well, if you want to see where your exact house is on the other side of the world. Go to antipodesmap.com, put in your location,

or just click the little location finder button and then start digging. That's fun. So, you can make an Earth sandwich. And then try to find someone on Facebook in that location and make an Earth sandwich. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You start talking. Yeah. If one of us leaves, if the show is just run by one of us, you'll know that we've had a fight over the studio felt.

There is a felt. That's our favorite pen. A felt pen that has been left in the studio. I discovered it last week and I colored in my whole prep sheet and it was just a joy. It's a beautiful blue. Yeah, it's a beautiful color. And then I looked over this morning and Fletch has been using it. No, I've been using that for weeks.

Right. Well, then I was like, good for him. It's a beautiful felt. And then I just asked to borrow it and boy, did he pause. I don't want to lose him. I said, can I borrow it? I just want to write a little note on my sheet

and you went, yeah. But give it back. But give it back. So. Are we giving it back? His hand's out. His hand's out. Yeah.

I don't know. I might hang on to it for a bit. Maybe I want to make some notes. Well, I'm keeping an eye on that felt. It's got a floppy tip though. I know. It's getting a bit floppy. The tip needs a Shannon trim. Well, I'm keeping an eye on that felt. It's got a floppy tip though. I know, it's getting a bit floppy. The tip needs a

Shannon trim. Now researchers at the University of California have been investigating and doing some research into why some people experience the phenomenon of red wine headache. Yeah. Because I always see people drinking and they have a whole night on red wine

and I'm like... You can always tell because they've got that little ring around their lips. Yes, and red tea. Their wine lips. Yeah. But I don't know, I just, like, I don't drink a lot of wine, red wine, but when I do, like, a nice red, like a, what's that, Pinot Noir? Yeah. But the next day you're

always a bit like, like quite dry. Yeah, really dry. You definitely, I feel, more of a hangover from red wine. And apparently, so they've done some research, and there is a, it's this thing called quercetin, and it is a flavonol, which is naturally present in, like, fruits and vegetables and stuff, and red wine. And they think that this is the cause.

It's an antioxidant, so there's good in it, but it seems to interact differently when you consume alcohol. Because when they've tried to make studies that are like, red wine is good for you, same as like dark chocolate, is that the thing, that's the antioxidant that white wine doesn't have? Yeah, and so what this does, this quercetin, is it interacts with the body's ability to break down the alcohol they've found, and that leads to a toxin,

which gives you headaches, nausea, and flushing. I don't know how, because I drink a lot of wine. I love wine. White. White. Yeah, white. White or fizzy. Yep.

Not even pink. Yep. I don't mess with a rosé. You're not a pink winer. No. But when I first started drinking wine, obviously I was drinking cheap wine, but I was exclusively red. Even when I first started drinking wine, obviously I was drinking cheap wine, but I was exclusively red.

Even when I met Aaron at 21, I was only red. I thought white wine was trash. It's because I didn't have a refined palate. Like I do now. But I would have huge nights on the red wines. A couple of bottles of red and horrendous hangovers. So they even say that

the levels of this quercetin stuff is more likely in grapes exposed to more sunlight. So, like, red wines from, like, Napa Valley have more of them in them. So it can even depend on which red wine you drink. But, yeah, it's still kind of ongoing. They're kind of looking to see what they can do to stop red wine hangovers. I'll have a glass or two with a meal that demands it. A steak, a pasta, something like that.

But no, my days of knocking back a couple of bottles of $10 Merlot. I've gone. She's a classy lady now. Me and my flatmate Louie used to have Merlot Mondays. So we'd have a big weekend on whatever. And then on Mondays, he'd come home from work, I'd come home from work. Obviously no job the next day.

Yeah. Oh, okay. These were the days when I used to work in a clothing store and sometimes I'd sleep in a bit and forget to open up the shop. Yeah, open up two hours. So if there's a retail shop that's not open today, it's two hours late. It's probably because someone's had a bloody...

It's because... Thirsty Thursday. Exactly. And I've slept in a little bit. They're like Hayley. We've been renovating for ages, over a year, and every now and then we've got to check in with the budget, right? Yes.

Yesterday was that day. Crunching the numbers. What have we got? How much left to go? Da-da-da-da-da, right? That just sounds depressing. Oh, truly, truly depressing. crunching the numbers what have we got how much left to go da da da da da right so we did this that just sounds

depressing oh truly truly depressing but it's you've got to do it yeah never budgeted in my life

so do you have a spreadsheet yep I've got a spreadsheet did you do that thing where you auto added the rows oh my god Aaron doesn't know how to do it

so I did it oh my god I googled how to do that it's magic and then when you change one of the sounds it just automatically I know gets rid of it to do it, so I did it. Oh, my God. I Googled how to do that. It's magic. And then when you change one of the sounds, it just automatically. I know. Gets rid of it.

Excel is a fine piece of software. So we were doing that, and I tell you what, it's tight. Okay. It's tight. And I was like, how do we bring up? And I was like, you haven't factored in the Christmas tree that we've agreed to. I've got the decorations. We're ready to go.

We've got the lights, the decorations. I've got the topper. I just need the tree, and I'm putting it up on December 1st, and that is next week. Now, I saw your stories that you posted yesterday, which basically said this predicament. Yeah, and I said, the tree that I would like, I want a bushy tree.

Yeah. I want a fluffy tree. A big fluffy tree. Is currently, because of Black Friday, 50% off at the ripe price of $299. And I was like, that's not in the budget. See, that's something you would only buy half price. Like, you wouldn't pay full price for that.

I'm not buying a $600 fake tree. No, that's like ridiculous. But then you get to use it every single Christmas. Oh my God. The amount of girls that text me on Instagram being like,

babe, girl math it. Like I've had my, I've had my Christmas tree for 19 years. Divide that by this. I was like, oh my God, we've created a beast.

Yeah, you did that to yourself. Literally Aaron looked at me and said, don't girl math this. This is real money. You got a waggle of the finger. No girl math. Oh my God me and said don't girl math this. This is real money. You got a waggle of the finger. No girl math. I was like oh my god I can't even girl math this.

So $300 and he said you know what if you can he said no it's not on the budget and he said get one for free and I said what am I going to go steal one and then he said ask one of your friends if they've got an old tree lying around that we can have. I was like how how embarrassing, Erin.

I'm not a beggar. I'm not going in and being like, please, do you have a leftover tree that I might borrow? So I said, no, we've got to get this tree. And he said, okay, well, how much is it? $299. He said, well, if you can sell $300 worth of stuff, then you can get the tree. Well, this is on oh, but Black Friday sales only today.

Or does it go over the weekend or next week? This is the predicament. The predicament. Because so many people text me being like, you know, better to,

what is it? Seek forgiveness than ask for permission. But surely buy it and then sell some stuff next week. I know, but then someone was like,

buy it and then store it. The one I want, it's eight foot. Like, where's that going? No, but they break down. So the box would be big, but you can still... Because people were like, buy it today. Hide it at work. Hide it. The one I want, it's eight foot. Like, where's that going? No, but they break down. So the box would be big, but you can still... Because people were like, buy it today. Hide it at work. Hide it...

At work. Someone was like, leave it in your car. I was like, there's already a lot going on in the car. Yeah, I don't know if it'd fit in the car. So I've got to buy it today. And then retrospectively make $300. Now, I offered pictures of my feet. You did. You did offer.

You are on Sleepwiki feet. I am. Let's just put that out there. So people can get your feet for free. I don't know why they pay. Yeah, I know. But I could do custom foot pictures. I could wiggle the toes.

Wiggle the toes? I think. Do they like that? I don't know. What do you like? I don't know. We're just throwing it out there. What do you guys want? So what? Like an OnlyFans just for your feet? think, do they like that? I don't know. What do you like? I don't know. We're just throwing it out there. What do you guys want?

So what, like an OnlyFans just for your feet? Yeah, I could do that. I mean, hit me up in the DMs, listeners. I mean, what do you want? I could send you a picture of my shoulder. Looking over my shoulder. You could do that thing where you fold your arm over so it looks like your bum or a little fanny or something.

Very silly fanny. Does that look like, have you just looked at that? Would that look like a butt? Yeah, but yours is, I'd be like, God, that's hairy. It needs laser. Yeah, and I'd look at mine. Got a couple of freckles. And I'd be like, that's a suspicious mole.

And she's plucked the hair off that mole. And that crook, what's this one? That one's got paint on it. Why has she got paint on her butt crack? You do have a lot of clothes you could sell. I'm just saying. Like, you buy things and then you don't wear them much. Don't come for my wardrobe.

Back up. Well, what are you going to sell? I don't know. I went into the garage. I was, like, looking around. I mean, because all of our home stuff is just, like, in the garage. I was like, oh. Okay, buy the tree and then it's on.

Do you think I buy it? You buy it and then leave it at work. He won't know. And then you just have to, over the weekend, find stuff to sell. $300 worth of stuff. Like clothes. Do clothes. I don't want to sell any clothes.

Do you have to provide receipts? Like when you do bring the tree into the house, is he going to be like, I need to see your transactions? That's how tight the budget is. He's going to want to see receipts. Are we even allowed to go to breakfast after the show today? We're talking about our new business venture. That's a business expense. Okay. Easy.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley from the bustling ZM Think Tank. This is the Top 6. Hola, chicas. Hola. Happy Black Friday.

Massive sales today. Excuse me. I have just taken back the blue felt. He just literally thought I wouldn't notice because I was looking at my laptop. Yoink. Yep. Smooth from you. Yeah.

Now, Black Friday sales, everyone will be out in the bloody, you know, in the numbers, just getting crazy, spending money. Yep. Some of the big malls have been in the news because people are just going crazy ahead of Christmas. And the new market, Westfield, was in the news this week because they had a huge traffic jam of people trying to get out because the streets were all blocked. It's going to be crazy.

Yeah, hopefully they've sorted the lights on the street because I think that was the problem. That was the problem. They weren't letting people go in fast enough. Now, you're going to hit the shops today. I take the train. Yeah, smart. Yeah.

But it will be busy in there. Oh, yeah, it's going to be nuts today. Well, I have the top six ways to be prepared this Black Friday if you're going shopping. And from a shopping expert like myself. Have you bought that Christmas tree just now? It's in the cart. Do you need people to text in some motivation just to click pay? Yeah, yeah, 9696.

Should I do it? And we'll just store it at work. Number six on the list of the tops of the ways to be prepared. I don't know how to do that, but the ways to be prepared this Black Friday. Have a buddy system. Ideally, someone that is the same size or figure as you with similar taste and fashion because then you can hit two shops at once. Oh, yes.

So you split up and you're like, cool. We're kind of looking for this vibe. I'll go in this shop, look for this vibe. Cutting the time in half, you just buy two of everything that you like and know that they'll like it. This is genius. Genius, yeah.

Number five on the top six ways to be prepared this Black Friday, pack a nappy in the car in case you get stuck in a car jam like last week and the mall butter chicken is about to run through you. Yeah. Because you know if you're going to the mall today, you're either getting nugg jam like last week and the mall butter chicken is about to run through you. Yeah. Because you know if you're going to the mall today, you're either getting nuggies or you're getting a mall curry.

Yeah. The smell of it, you're just walking by and you're like, yum, delicious. But it comes out. Yeah, so adult nappy, they do those? Or just a kid's nappy. Okay. Just sit down on it.

Yep, right. Yeah. Number four in the top six ways to be prepared this Black Friday, put blades on the shoes so you can cut through the crowds quicker. You know, like Grease Lightning and you had the blades that came out and you could just be like... Excuse me? I thought you meant like razor blades and you'd be cutting people down.

That's what I meant. You meant roller blades. No, I meant razor blades. Oh, no. I think roller blades is what you meant. Yep, absolutely. However you want to interpret that. I think rollerblades is what you mean. Yep. Absolutely. However you want to interpret that. What are those shoes that everyone has?

Wheelies. Wheelies. Get your wheelies out. Get into the mall today. Get your wheelies on. Yep. Just be really careful when you're dismounting escalators and mounting escalators. You will make a fool of yourself.

Yeah. Number three on the top six ways to be prepared this Black Friday. This is legit. Okay. Wear an on the top six ways to be prepared this Black Friday. This is legit. Okay. Wear an outfit that's easily removable. Every time I go shopping and I'm wearing like jeans and then Chuck Taylors. Oh my god, you're going clothes shopping in jeans and Chucks.

And you're like... Or just even jeans and boots. Yeah. Wear like loose Birks slides. Yeah. Any kind of slip-on shoe. Comfy pants. Sack. A good brass. You know what the girls are going to look like in the outfit.

But just like something you can whip on and off. Yeah. Whip on and off. Number two. That was a good one actually. Number two on the list of the top six ways. I'm proud of yourself. To be prepared this Black Friday.

Just have a lorazepam and just ride it. Do you know what I mean? Like it's going to be stressful. Well, some people can't handle the crowds of people. Yeah. It's too much. If, like you, you're not driving, have a drink. Have a cocktail.

Have a little cocktail. Just take the edge off. My friends and I went to the mall last Friday, actually, and we found a happy hour cocktail. Fantastic. It was brilliant. We actually did more of that than shopping. Yeah, you're great.

So it actually was fun. You bought nothing but cocktails. And number one on the top six ways to be prepared this Black Friday, transfer money into your business account, the account your partner can't see, and just buy the Christmas tree. Okay, so that's how it's happening.

Okay. He just won't know. He just won't know. He's not up. And if you don't have a business, a side hustle business account, just make a new account at another bank. Or just go to the bank today and be like, hello, I'd like to open an account.

Can I please transfer $299 to it? Make a new account on your online banking, but don't let them have access to it. They can't see it on there. Or go to an EFTPOS machine and get out some cash and buy the damn Christmas tree. That's today's top six. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. This time last year, we shared this list because they do it every year as if, I mean, maybe they change the average penis size by country. Why? Because it's not like, like, you know,, they do those the safest city or the most livable cities. Yeah, and those are ever-changing things based on lots of things. Maybe this is, you know, environmental. Maybe

willies are shrinking and people are stressed. Right. Are we I couldn't find New Zealand on this list. Yeah, we don't factor. Oh, hang on. I've got the down, right at the bottom of this article I can search. New Here we go. Oh, this is good. It doesn't say.

God, they do length also. So this is quite scientific. Like there's a massive, like there's a spreadsheet of all the countries. Yeah. And there's like, yeah, length, girth, all of those. And then methods, self-reported. So they're asking. Oh, New Zealand. they're asking people, but it doesn't have a number of,

it doesn't have a ranking number. No, that's in the rank, it's there, so you'd have to go down. Yeah, you'd have to find it in all of the countries. But you could probably work out from size roughly. Oh, there you go, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, we're up top. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. 16th in the world. That's good.

That's so good. Well done. That's bloody solid. That's good. We'll take that. New Zealand guys. Per capita. But I will point out,

in the method column for New Zealand, it says self-reported, you always add an inch. Yeah, so that's either measured medically, they'll take part, I guess, in a... But that feels like a trap and you end up on a website, you know? Yeah, I know.

If someone said to me, hey... Do you want to come into my clinic? Do you want to come in? We'll get you nice and erect and then we'll bloody measure it. Yeah. I'd be like, ah. Sounds like a trap to me. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so that's self-reported New Zealand from Survey Monkey. Okay, that's pretty good. Yeah, that that's self-reported New Zealand from Survey Monkey. Okay, that's pretty good. Yeah, that's okay. So they tell you the source, where they got it from, whether it was done as part of a study or it was self-reported. So in New Zealand, the average length, full mast, 15.79 centimetres.

Okay. Do we have a ruler? Vaughan's away. He's got his tape measure on his key ring. Shannon, do we have a ruler out there? I know I want to visually see it. Right, okay. But go you, New Zealand.

We're just under Cuba. 16th, okay. 16th in the world. So we've got the... Oh, thanks. Oh, my God, Shannon just brought in a floppy ruler. It's a fridge magnet. A fridge magnet ruler. And it's only 20 centimetres.

Right, okay. This isn't fully erect. This does not count. Okay. So we're number 16. We're 16th in the world. What are the top countries in the world? The top 10.

Cameroon in 10th. Yep. Colombia in 9th. Lebanon in 8th with a measurement of in 10th. Yep. Colombia in 9th. Lebanon in 8th with a measurement of 16.82. Yep. Above them in 7th is Venezuela. Nigeria in 6th. Ghana

in 5th. Republic of the Congo with a measurement of 17.33 is 4th. The top 3. Ecuador. That's where. The top three, Ecuador. That's where all the big bananas are from. That's where most of our big bananas are from, in the supermarket.

With a measurement of a full mast, 17. That's nearly your whole ruler. 17.59. I'm happy with that. Jeez, okay. Are you a bit flustered? Dominican Republic. No, the

Democratic Republic of Congo. Democratic Republic of Congo. But what's the difference between the Republic of the Congo and the

Democratic Republic of Congo? I don't know. Okay. Well, the difference is the Democratic Republic of Congo has got

bigger schlongs. Yeah. They're second in the world with 17.93. Here we are. Look at my floppy ruler. Yep. That's where we're at. And in first with the biggest schlongs around the globe is...

I feel like we should have had a drum roll or something. Sudan. Number one on the list. 17.95. We're not too bad at number 16 on the list then. That's pretty good. I'm pleased with that. Yeah, that's real good.

We should be proud of that. Now, I'm not going to give you the smallest, but the smallest with 9.43 is Thailand. You said you weren't going to give us the smallest. No, I said I'm not going to give you the whole list of the smallest. Oh, the whole list. Okay, right. I'm sorry, Thailand.

You've come in last this year. But keep trying. Keep taking your vitamins. Because apparently they do this list every year. They do it every year as if it changes. Yeah, it could get bigger. There you go. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly.

Play ZM. It's the final rankings. Just hearing that song, I think this could get quite overwhelming. I know. Final rankings today, we are back to food, and we are ranking our favourite fried chickens from around the world. What country does the best fried chicken? This is...

And I... Because I would initially say, like, if you've ever had Korean fried chicken, it's so good. It's the best. So good. The different flavours. But then I'm like, karaage with mayonnaise. Yes.

Delicious. Yeah, yeah. But then there's also like, you would call Chinese like a lemon chicken or anything fried. Like sweet sour chicken, lemon chicken. Oh, that's good as well. And that's fried. Yes. It's's fried. Yes. It's got a thicker batter.

And then you've got all of your southern style fried chicken from America. I know, your buttermilk fried chicken. You have Indian as well. Indian chicken 65. That's that like battered chicken with like red sauce. Nothing out of the UK, right? That's embarrassing. Get away. That is so embarrassing for them. right? That's embarrassing. Get away.

That is so embarrassing for them. That's actually so embarrassing. Also, yeah, New Zealand and I. What about a chicken palmy? That would be Australia's national dish, right? Or chicken kev, because that's crumbed and then fried. That's like a snitchel, isn't it? No, it's like got stuffing in it.

Cheese and spinach and what not. But is that fried, though? I reckon it's like got stuffing in it. Cheese and spinach. But is that fried though? I reckon it's got to be deep fried to count. I know. Literally everywhere has this. I'm just reading all these articles on like how fried chicken is enjoyed around the world. Almost every country has a version of it.

Okay, well how do we even start this? For me, I would always lean towards an Asian-style fried chicken over like an American or Western-style. Same. But, I mean, American fried chicken is delicious. Have you ever had like chicken waffles?

Buffalo wings? With buffalo on it? That's deep fried. That's fried. Oh, my God, I forgot about buffalo. I forgot about wings. I forgot about wings. Guys, we forgot about wings!

Wings are going straight to number two for me, because it's Korean fried chicken, and then it's American style wings. Wow. We're about to write America off, and now it's gone to number two. I know, I was about to write America off. Absolutely. Korean fried chicken? I mean, Thailand does a fried chicken. What kind of fried chicken do they do? Like, I feel like I've had... I've had more unfried Thai chicken than I have had fry.

I might do Japanese. I think I'm going to do Korean wings, American style, and then maybe Japanese. But then maybe I'll go Chinese because I do love a Chinese. You love it oozing with a thick sauce. Yeah. But I feel like the sauce is doing a lot of the lifting there.

Whereas with other fried chickens, it's more of the seasonings on. But it's the same thing, right? Yeah, but Korean fried chicken. I think I agree. Korean is one. Number one. There's a place that does it.

Is it Kai? Yes. That does the Korean fried chicken. Yum. Okay, I'm going Korea. Korean fried chicken. Wait. Then I'm going US wings.

Are nuggies fried chicken? Yeah, they are. Oh, shoot. Well, that's under USA for me. USA wings and nuggies. You've got the mark. No, you can't. You've got it cornered.. Oh, shoot. Well, that's under USA for me. USA wings and nuggies. You've got the mark. No, you can't. Excuse me, sir.

You can't cram two into the same thing. No, but it's US style. Oh, we are ranking countries. Because we're doing countries. Okay. So Korea, USA, Japan for me. But again, maybe with Japan, it's the mayo that's doing the heavy lifting. I could be Korea, USA, Japan.

Or I could be Korea, Japan, USA. Or I could be Korea, Japan, USA. But I who am I nagging? Are we missing one? Are we missing like a really important one? Canada's not, they're not. A lot of people are saying, give me a place to go for Korean chicken. I mean, just go to any Korean restaurant

and ask for fried chicken. Some great Korean fried chicken in Auckland. Korean chicken is the bomb. Chicken katsu. Japanese. You see, that's why I've got Japanese. Oh, yeah, wings. We're loving wings.

Yeah, we've got that down. Nuggies. Yeah, got that down under USA. Okay. I think I'm going. Okay, well, you've got to give us your final rankings. It could be. We could be united on this. Okay, number one've got to give us your final rankings. It could be, we could be united on this.

Okay, number one, Korean. Yes. Number two, Nuggets and Wings. We're only doing like best Korea, right? Like South Korea. So we're not supporting... No, North Korean. I don't know if they're allowed.

Their taste is different. I don't know if they're allowed Korean fried chicken. No, it's too joyful. It's way too joyful. It brings too much joy. Yeah. Korean, American, Japanese. We are united on this.

See, maybe I could swap out Japanese for Chinese. Because all of the Japanese. It's 7 o'clock in the morning. I know. How do we get chicken? Someone's putting in a hard bid for schnitzel here. See, I'm not a... Would that be German?

The chicken, yes. But I would say the chicken parmi, if I was going to do anything, would be an honorary fourth place for me. Oh, Mexican fried chicken. Oh, my God, I completely forgot about Mexican. How the hell did we leave Mexican off? Okay.

I see. I would have more Mexican fried chicken than I do Japanese. Thank you to 857 for texting me Mexican fried chicken. All the Japanese chicken I have is not deep fried. It's more like, you know, like teriyaki or on a skewer. Yeah, right, whereas I'll go a karaage, which is fried. Whereas I'm not about the snitchily type. You like a wet chicken.

I like a wet chicken. You love your chicken wet. You love wet chicken. Okay, I'm not about the snitchily type. You like a wet chicken. I like a wet chicken. You love your chicken wet. A wet chicken. You love wet chicken. Okay, I'm going Mexican. So I'm going Korean fried chicken, USA chicken, and then Mexican chicken. Okay, I'm going Korean fried chicken, American fried chicken. Yes.

Japanese. We split there. Okay. I'm sorry. We split there. I'll put my felt away. Oh, yeah. Can I borrow it? No. I just want. We split there. I'll put my felt away. Oh, yeah. Can I borrow it?

No. I just want to write my list. I've written the list. You're not allowed to use the felt anymore. Well, we're united that Korean fried chicken. I feel like if Vaughan was here, he would be... American. He'd be American number one.

Maybe. I don't know. I feel like he's not going to be happy we did this without him. We're going to have a meeting. We're going to have to have an HR meeting. Yeah. Maybe we could just do it again next week when Vaughan's back. Turkish, someone said.

Turkish? Fried chicken. Okay. I always think of Turkish as being the kebab style. The kebab. Okay, I need to investigate that. Chinese sweats out. Yeah, boy, we're here for it.

We're here for it. God, we've got the nation thinking about fried chicken early. I feel like I could have done a whole top five list. Now people are sending in chicken recommendations. You know how we've done the maps of where you get your ice creams and stuff. The best chicken. Maybe we just need to do chicken. Now I'm hungry for chicken.

And it has to be Korean. And it's 16 bar 7. Damn it 333 rule Is a dating What would you call it? Kind of like a check? Yeah like a little check I guess

A little check up It stands for 3 days 3 No 3 weeks 3 minutes 3 Shannon What is it? Three hours.

It's literally on your piece of paper. Three. It literally says it right there. Three orgasms. Three cocktails. Three taxis. So it's a check at three weeks, three months, and three years of your relationship. Kind of some milestones experts are saying you should probably be hitting, otherwise it months and three years of your relationship. Kind of some milestones experts

are saying you should probably be hitting, otherwise it's a red flag in your relationship. So what are you hitting at three weeks? Three weeks you want to know you like them. God, three weeks! Imagine if you just shit! Like, oh my God, two weeks in, this guy sucks! Well, I think it's because those first

few dates, you know, there's definitely a front. You know, people aren't showing their full selves. I think it takes three weeks to truly know someone and know if you are compatible and you would like to date them. I think it takes more than three weeks to truly know someone. Yeah, but to get a vibe. Do you ever really know someone? Aaron, I have so many secrets. Aaron doesn't even know.

He doesn't even know you've built that Christmas tree. He doesn't even know that there is an even know you've built that Christmas tree. He knows the tip of the iceberg. He doesn't even know that there is an eight foot Christmas tree heading his way, despite his wishes. He would have no idea of this deceitfulness. How many years into the relationship? Thirteen. Sweet long years. So at three

weeks you know that you like them. Yeah, you're like, this could be someone I see myself with. Now three months in, experts are saying you should be falling in love. I see my love down at the three-month mark. Yeah, same with my current boyfriend. Like, we were three months in, it was like, love ya. So I think that's kind of a normal-ish point.

Is that how you said it? Love ya? No, I waited for him to say it, and then I went, you too. You too! Oh, cute. That's cute, that's cute. I've always got to hold the control, you know? Power play. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, cute. That's cute. I've always got to hold the control, you know? Power play.

Yeah. Yeah. Erin said it first as well. Yeah. But then, so three months you're loving them, and three years in, you should know that you want to be married. Whether you get the piece of paper or not, you can see the rest of your life with them. You can see it.

Yeah. Statistically, it probably won't pan out that way, though. Wow. She knows the stats. I'm sticking to the stats. 51% of marriages end in divorce. But then also, you're just with them. It's a lot of admin to break up, isn't it?

Oh, it's too much. It's too much. Especially after three years, they can take you for all your worst. You know what I mean? You might as well just stick it out. But yeah, they're saying, you know. Another decade on top, you're at where I'm at. And you just couldn't imagine.

Just like the lawyers. What are we going to do? You know what I mean? I'm couldn't imagine. Just like the lawyers. What are we going to do? You know what I mean? I'm in all those family pictures. What, are they going to have to reframe them and crop me out? I do make sure I'm on the edge, though. Yeah, that's considerate. Yes, that is good of you.

At Quarters of Christmas, we always get a family photo. I always just tuck on the edge. That's actually a little pro tip for family Christmas. If someone's bringing around their new boyfriend, girlfriend, edge of photos. Chuck on the edge and then just 3, 2, 1, smile. Just give them a little shunt so that there's a gap between them and the real family.

That's lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Okay, well, this is a good rule, I guess. Yeah, and I mean, obviously, it's not hard and fast, but just the idea of if you're three years in and you don't see yourself spending the rest of your life, it's probably not worth.

It's not going to change. Sage advice, actually, from you. Wow, four ones. rest of your life. It's probably not worth. It's not going to change. Sage advice, actually, from you. Wow, four once. Wise beyond your years. Four once. Four once. Yeah, it did. It's my Friday flashback coming up.

It is. And I've decided, due to the fact that Coldplay, we announced this week that Coldplay are coming to Eden Park. It is going to be a Coldplay banger. And if you to the fact that Coldplay, we announced this week that Coldplay are coming to Eden Park. It is going to be a Coldplay banger. And if you need the details for Coldplay, you can go to ZM Online. It's their Music of the Spheres World Tour. Eden Park will be November 13. You can sign up now for first access to tickets at coldplay.com.

Our registration period closes today, Friday at midnight. And the general sale is on the 1st of December, so that's a week today. Now, you have promised a banger, but you also suggested maybe playing Yellow. I do. I love that song so much. Yellow's a great song. But not a banger. It does get into a bit of a banger.

Yes, yes. No, it's more up than that. It's more up than that. It's more up than that. It's more up than that. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's sillyilly Little Pole. Do you like when an artist pulls a fan on stage to either, like, share a story or sing a song

or play guitar or play the drums? It's happening all the time. Foo Fighters do it a lot. Yeah, Foo Fighters, they get drummers up. They get drummers up. It's pretty amazing. I know, and people just, like, kill it. And they get, like, kid drummers, and they're amazing.

Hattie, I've never been in a show when someone's got up and they haven't like nailed it. Like it makes me think, are they set up? Remember when we went to Ed Sheeran? He did it, eh? Yeah. And there was someone

who knew all the parts and then he like harmonised with them. I mean, if they got up and they sucked. Or you get stage fright because you're in, you know, a crowd of 40,000 people.

Last week at Paramore it happened and a girl got up and you could tell this was just the best moment of her life. Yeah, I know. It was so great.

She was such an emo chick. And she nailed it. She nailed it. And Hayley Williams was singing at the same time. Yeah, singing along. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, didn't like abandon her.

But then some people don't like it because they're like, I'm paying all this money to come to a concert. I don't want to see some guy get up and do the drums. I want to, you know, I want to hear them sing. Yeah.

So what, we put it to a silly little poll. Do you like when an artist pulls a fan on stage? 67% of people said no, the majority. Okay. And 33% said yes. Only just though, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Some feedback. Josh says, nah, I'm selfish. It takes away from watching the artist. But I also might be jealous too, but shush. Yeah, because Josh, if you got asked to come up on stage,

would you be able to do it? Holly says, if they're a good time, I guess I'm okay with it. So if the person, the audience members are having a great time and they're good. No pressure. Why not? I've just clicked out of it.

Sorry. This isn't my job. Sarah says, no way. If I wanted to watch karaoke, I would go and do that. I'm not paying through the nose to watch some nobody. Wow, Sarah, why don't you say what you really think? Emma says, I would generally say a firm no, but last week at Paramore

was quite possibly the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I know, it was a beautiful moment, wasn't it? I know, she was beside herself and then she nailed it. I agree, Emma, we enjoyed it too. Sask says, Saskia, I love that name so much. It's a nice name, isn't it? If you love it so much, why don't you change your name to Saskia Sproul?

Oh, my God. That is a great name. It's actually a good movie name, eh? Saskia Sproul. Oh, my God. Starring in a new movie. Oh, my God. Yeah, Saskia Sproul's new single's out.

Oh, my God. Aquaman 3, starring Saskia Sproul. And Jason Momoa. That could be your Hollywood name. Saskia Sproul. Oh, my God, this is incredible. SS though. And then all the like nobodies like you guys won't be like,

oh Hayley, Hayley, remember me? But I'm Saskia now, bitch. Get away. Well, Saskia says the Lady Gaga dancing fan is iconic. The Michael Bublé singing fan was also iconic. Yeah, true. Birds flying high, you know how it feels.

It's more, it's more hit than it is miss, isn't it? When you see people get up on stage. Absolutely. Actually, I would love to YouTube

some misses. Kayla says, I say yes as if I know I've never actually been to a concert in my 31 years of life. What? Kayla.

Are you kidding me? Kayla. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? But the videos are always super cute to watch. I think I feel like we've got to get Kayla along to a concert. Same. Like, not even a single performance.

Not even a tiny... Kayla Shepard, text us 9696 and tell us what kind of music you're into. And then we will, you know, maybe when we have a concert we could target towards you. Or take you to a gig, at least. Yeah. That's wild. Lawrence says, I do normally, but not when Steel Panther,

probably not a band we'd play. No. Pilled my ex up on stage for their song in 2012. Oh, no, and then you have to see your ex get all the limelight and admiration. Fair enough. Yeah. Well, if you ever get the chance, though, I'd do it.

Yeah. But not heartbeat. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. And you hate eight. And that's why you're grossed out, because it's only 19 minutes away. Is that why? No, no, it's not.

Right. You can explain that if you want. Well, we're having a debate in the studio about whether or not you can get a pap smear while you're on your period. And Dr. Shawnee messaged him being like, better to delay it. Good. That's lovely. I wasn't grossed out by that. Why are you turning your mic off and going, yuck, vaginas?

Why are you doing that? I did nothing of the kind. What if he's got his mic off right now and he's going, ah, ah. It's on. It's on. It's on right now. What are we doing? Oh, yeah. It's on. It's on. It's on right now. What are we doing? Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm back. And now I'm thinking about pap smears, which, by the way, you can do yourself. Let's use this as a PSA. You can do them yourself now if you're putting it off because you don't want the doctor fishing around in there. Do you just post them in? Yeah. I think that's coming as they're going to send them to your house.

But you just go to the doctor. And if your pap smear is due, they just give you the thing. You go to the bathroom and just blip yourself. Blip yourself. Just like a rat test. Just like a rat test. Okay. Different.

Thank you for that. Different orifice. Yes, lovely. There is a woman who shared this on TikTok, a test that she put all of her dates through. And she said it's worked because now I'll be married to this person for seven years. She found the one. She found the one through doing this.

What she did is she bribed the waitress at their first date to accidentally mess up the boy's order to see how he treats women, to see how he would respond. Oh, my God. But what have you ordered? You've got your mind set on the Korean fried chicken, for example. We just talked about. We've just been talking about chicken all morning.

Chicken all morning, haven't we? And then she gives you a salad. Well, that, yeah. Well, then if he goes, I ordered the effing Korean fried chicken. And he's like, click, click, clicking. Yeah, excuse me, this is wrong. And then I huff some puffs and I was like, oh, my God, this is unbelievable. You'd be like, this is reflective of how I imagine you would be

when life doesn't go your way. Okay, that's quite a good test, isn't it? That's a good test. But then also, is that manipulative? That's very manipulative. Manipulative? Is that manipulative? It's very manipulative.

Sorry, what just happened? Are those nuggies? Sorry, just pausing, listener. Sorry, dear listener. Dear listener. Our show sponsor, McDonald's, have. Sorry, dear listener. Dear listener. Show sponsor McDonald's have dropped off some nugs. Can we confirm?

It turns out that they heard you talking about how nugs should be fried chicken. Yes! Well, they are. Yes, good. Hot nugs have just arrived. They just dropped off some hot nugs. And it smells so good in here now. Eat them.

Eat them. Eat them. Guys, this day rules. It's getting better. Happy Black Friday to you. Do you need sustenance for your shopping? We do. Eat them. Eat them. Guys, this day rules. It's getting better. Happy Black Friday to you. Do you need sustenance for your shopping? We do. We do.

We need to be energized. We need to be making wise decisions. Anyway, I think this is so, this is, I just, yeah, it's a little manipulative, but like it's not a bad way. It's just, you know, she's not like doing anything bad to the person and they'll never really know about it. It's just a test. Well, obviously she told him about it because they've been together now. But I want to know if there is a little test that you daters out there do on your dates

to sort of, I don't know, check them, check their vibe, check what kind of person they are, find out more about them. Have you run a cheating test? Like you've got a friend to hit on a new partner? Yeah. Do you think people, see, that's manipulative. Manipulative. Really struggling

with that word today. Yeah, I don't know. Manipulative. Feels like there's one extra syllable. One syllable too many. Yeah, manipulative. You want it to be manipulative.

Yeah. Yes, but it's not. No way. And my brain cannot handle it. But is there a test that you've done? Have you tested a partner with a friend

sliding into the DMs? Yeah, or a little text, like the little text you send at the end of the date to see how they respond. Maybe you've got something successful or not. Yes. Maybe it's worked, this test, and you're still with them. Yeah. I don't know. Well, maybe it worked in that it got rid of some bloody sour grapes.

Yeah, or you've taken them on a date somewhere to test them there. Maybe it's a parents, meet the parents or friends test. What is the test? That would be a good one. Like a lot of people would introduce to friends, and that would be a big test. That's the test.

And then your friends would be like, hell no. Yeah, and then you stay with them anyway because you can change them. Yeah, because I can change them. I can fix them. He's a bad boy, but I can fix them. I can fix them. 0800 DARS at M. We'd love for you to call us this morning.

You can text in 9696. Is there a test that you run on your dates? What is it? And does it work? Asking if you put dates through some kind of test that you've come up with to see if they're a goodie or a baddie because there's a woman who gets the waitstaff

to stuff up the date's order to see how they respond to it. And I think that's genius. And we're hearing some good tests. Someone did message in on the other side, received a test. My ex-fiancee did a cheating test, and I saw straight through it, but I just couldn't stick with a woman who plays such childish games. Yeah, I kind of agree.

People who feel the need to test their partners obviously carry trust issues. Not a good sign. Yeah, like when you were at that stage, your fiancé, you're going to marry them. You shouldn't be doing that. Yeah, yes, actually. I was more thinking of tests like first date, second date, third date, early on.

But yeah, if you're engaged to marry and they're like testing you, I'd be like, oh, goodbye as well. I'm kind of with you. Goodbye, my and they're like testing you, I'd be like, oh, goodbye as well. I'm kind of with you. Goodbye, my lover. Goodbye, my lover. I do the question test. If I have to ask three questions in a row without you asking me one back,

then you clearly have no chat or you're self-centered, so later. That's a good point. If you're the one just asking all the questions. Yeah. Are you allowed to be like, same question, you answer? Oh, yeah, you can't do that. It's like, I come up with a really creative question. You're like, yeah, yeah, me, me, me, me.

What about you? And then I come up with another creative one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you? You're going to be carrying the chat in that relationship. Yeah, God, a lot of heavy lifting. I always ask them if there was a male contraceptive, would you take it? If they say no, adios amigo.

But only if it didn't have all the side effects, right? What? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, I would never ask you to do it if there were any side effects whatsoever. I would never put you through that. I feel like guys don't know about the side effects. Well, let me tell you.

My partner had to meet my granddad. His opinion matters the most to me out of anyone's. He was quite sick, and I knew this may well be the last trip I saw him on, so I took my potential partner there, and they got on like a house on fire, and then as I left, he said, you've got a good one there. I love that. My pop loved Aaron. Oh, that's so nice.

That's nice. A test I do for a potential girlfriend is to take them off-roading and then make sure to get stuck in mud too to see if they're the type of girl to get amongst it and get stuck in or stay in the ute to protect their new nails. Oh, I'd probably stay in the ute just to... To protect your new nails. Would you stay in the ute?

I'd stay in the ute. You can get us out of this. You'd be real shitty. You'd be like... I told you this is a two-wheel drive. I took my new partner around to meet my friends and my two best friends wrote on a giant chalkboard 30 questions about

for him and his view and experience on life. He passed and we're married. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. And someone said, good morning. Hope all is going well. It's raining in Christchurch, even though it was 27 degrees yesterday. Yeah, welcome to our summer ahead, I think.

Yeah. All over the show. The summer of all over the show. What is this? There is a contraceptive for males. They put it in their shoe and it makes them limp. What is that? I'm not getting the joke.

Is it like a tack or something? A thumbtack or something? I don't get it. I don't know. Please elaborate on that, listener. Yeah, please do. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's that song that goes,

Bones sinking like stone, We live in a beautiful world. For some reason, that song that goes, Oh, I'm sinking like stone. We live in a beautiful world. For some reason, that song, not for some reason, for a weird reason, that song is my family's anthem. Really? Yeah. Because we had those awkward family portraits done in the very early 2000s, 2001. And then they put them all on a DVD slideshow and that was the song.

We live in a beautiful world. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. So that's our family anthem. Bit of Coldplay. Speaking of families, yesterday Aaron and I, our family of three, Rolly went to the cattery last week because we're getting the floors polished and he couldn't go on them.

And when he comes back, he's really affectionate because he's been like abandoned. He's been in prison. He's basically been in prison. Yeah, and he's like, he just walks in like, are they here? And it's weird for a week he acts out. Yeah, does it make you feel bad that you do that?

Yeah, terrible. Like, it's horrible. Yeah. We were sitting on beanbags and Rolly came in and like tucked in next to Aaron and we were like, oh, so cute, loving this. And then I don't know how we got there. We were talking about Raleigh and his name,

which I came up with. And he said, God, it was such a good name. I love the name Raleigh. It's such a good name. It's so great that you came up with that, Roleston. And I was like, yeah, yeah, Roleston was the inspiration. He was like, no, his name's Roleston. And I was like, dude, yeah, Roleston was the inspiration. He was like, no, his name's Roleston. And I was like, dude,

you don't know our cat's name. Turns out this whole time Aaron thought his full name was Roleston, the nickname was Rolly. And I was like, no, his name is Rolly, inspired by Roleston.

And he was like, absolutely not. And I said, look, I know that names usually, my brother Samuel, we call him Sam. Thomas's get called Tom. Carl gets called Ka. Yeah. You know? I don't know if they do.

You said it. They call you Ka all the time. My cat Murray, Muz. Yeah, Muz. This is what I said. I was like, I know a lot of names get shortened as the nickname, but the full name is something longer. But that is not the case with our cat.

Our cat's real name is Rolly. And Aaron was like, this is wild to him. For eight years, he actually has not known our cat's real name. And he thought it was Rolleston. He's been close. He's been close. But I said, no. And he said, you're wrong.

You said Rolleston. And I said, yes. When we were naming him, we had a whole debate. We went eight years back in time. I said when I was naming him, the street that Aaron lived on was Rolleston Street in Newtown, Wellington. And I

said that's great inspiration for the name Raleigh. Yes. And Aaron's taken that as his name is Rolleston. And then I got into it and I said, well, he doesn't have a birth certificate. But if he did, it would be Rolly Sproul. That's his full name. I love it when

people take their cats to the vet and they put their last name as the cat's name. Is your Sir Major Murray Fluffington Fletcher? Nah. No. But it's just Major Murray Fluffington. Not Sir. You don't have a Sir. No. Because he's a Major. He's a Major. He's a Major Murray Fluffington. He doesn't have a knighthood yet.

Yeah. He's got to work harder. And on the vets, when you book an appointment, there's not enough letters to put in major Murray Fluffington. Yeah, yeah. So it's by MMF. MMF? Yeah.

Well, that means something else. It does. They'll get confused. It does, yeah. Well, we put Rolly Sproul because that is his name. And I just can't believe that we've spent the last eight years with this cat that we love so deeply. And this whole time, Aaron doesn't even know his name. And I just can't believe that we've spent the last eight years with this cat that we love so deeply. And this whole time Aaron doesn't even know its name.

Doesn't even know its name. Very rude. Very rude, actually. And he still wouldn't let you buy the Christmas tree. And he still won't. Joke. Joke's on him. It's bought.

Have you done it? Yeah. For those that have been following us through the show this morning. Hey, listen. Andrew, Robert, Matthew, shut your mouths. That's Aaron's brothers. Oh, right. Who may report back.

Shut your mouths. Because he said if you've seen Hayley's stories and you weren't following this morning, he's asked you to sell. I want a $300 Christmas tree because it's 50% off at the moment. It's $300. He said you can buy it if you sell $300 worth of goods. I'm yet to sell them but I will. You will. So I've already bought it

because it's Black Friday. You've just got to. Brothers, courtesies, shut up. Don't you dare. Next on the show a list of the laziest jobs has been released. Yeah, awesome. Terrible news. For Shannon who's now ripping us the fingers. Did you see that? You're flipping us the bird. Got you. Got you.

That's recorded. It's the end of your career. I've seen this trend everywhere. Hashtag lazy girl job. Yeah. Like, what are the laziest jobs for the girlies that you could possibly find? Or the guyies, or the whoever's, basically. The guyies. Is that the jobs for the girlies that you could possibly find? Or the guyies or the whoever's, basically. The guyies.

Is that the version of the girlies? What's girlies? Boysies. Boysies. The boys. People say the girls and the gays and the theys. Girls, gays and theys. Yeah.

That's a good one. Yeah, that's good. So hetero men, get out. Of course, yeah. Don't ruin us. It's fun. Well, when's their day? Do you know what I mean?

When's their day? Truly. Yeah what I mean? When's their day? Truly. You know, when's International Wednesday? Every day. Every day. Lazy Girl Job is a huge hashtag

basically on TikTok, Instagram and whatnot. Had about 40 million views. Are you ready for this, Shannon? Okay, so they have based on these views a study looked at the top 10 lazy girl roles.

The laziest of you. Is there some kind of marketing in there as well? I think that's just a job that a lot of girlies excel at and have. But that's not easy. That's not a lazy job. Yeah. Should we go from the bottom?

These are the most popular. Data entry clerk. Okay. Okay, let's go. Should we go from the bottom? Yeah, these are the most popular. Okay. Data Entry Clerk. Okay. I did a bit of Data Entry. It's boring. Yeah, but that was because you're a finance nippo baby. Yeah, because I was a nippo baby.

At your daddy's finance company. I was all set up to run Pioneer Finance. Yeah. But then the theatre took me and I left. So Data Entry Clerk, just slightly lazier than that. But then the theatre took me and I left. So data entry clerk. Just slightly lazier than that, customer service. Okay. Yeah, man.

I used to be like this and then nothing would happen and so I'd like mess up T-shirts so I could fold them. Very lazy. Just lazier than that, an eighth is web developer. I would have thought that would have been a hard job. Yeah. Or just get your work done and then just...

But there's all those sites that just do it. Oh, yeah, true. All those sites that just do it. What is it? What's that website? You just go on and it's just a template

and then you put in your brand and a couple of photos and it gives you a website. Easy. There you go. I'm a web developer now. Just above that, graphic designer. Okay. I mean, same thing. I've got web developer now. Just above that, graphic designer.

Okay. I mean, same thing. I've got lots of friends that are graphic designers. You're like, hey, can you do a poster? And they're like, sure. And they just put like Hayley Sproul in font over a picture and they're like, there you go. Easy. Cool. Lazy. Just above that, in

sixth place, no, fifth place. This is the list of the laziest. Laziest, hashtag lazy girl jobs. Yeah. Is an editor. Oh, that wouldn't be lazy. Do you know why it's lazy? AI.

AI, spell check. You would literally, hey, welcome. Have you seen that little paperclip character? Yeah. That's your job, basically, an editor. Just above that is lazier than an editor is a proofreader. Kind of same thing. Yeah.

Right? Well, now with AI. I know so many friends that are using AI for their jobs just to do the odd little thing. Oh, my God. And just getting away with it. I love it. It's so great.

Same with graphic designer, right? You can just type in and be like, create me a this, that, and the other thing, and you go, boof, and you're like, there you go. Okay. The one, two, three, fourth laziest job as a freelance writer. Probably lazy because you just don't even do anything. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Freelance. Put freelance in front of anything. I'm a freelance actor. What roles? Well, I... Nothing for years, right? Yeah, nothing for a few years. You'd say the work's dried up there, wouldn't you?

I'm a freelance actress. Yeah. Oh, my God. Have you been on Shorten Street? No, no, no. Oh, didn't you get a part? I've never been off on an audition. Oh, right.

What would I know you from? Oh, I was in a TV show once. Oh, can I watch it anywhere? No, they took it down. It's been cancelled. It's been cancelled, isn't it? Yeah. They did two seasons.

Now, is radio on the list? Radio is not on the list. I feel like it should be. You're bagging out all these other easy girl jobs. Well, here's the lazy girl job. Top three. Virtual assistant is third. Virtual assistant?

I mean, yeah, it's lazy because you're a robot. Yeah, like, isn't that what a robot is? I'm sorry, I didn't realize robots were included in this list. Oh, okay. Okay, number two. Community moderator. Like on a forum or a Facebook page? When you're like,

Sandy, Sandy, you can't talk like that in here, please. Sandy, we're leaving politics off this page. Sandy. It's just a place to buy and sell used clothes.

Yeah, Sandy, please don't bring that. Your opinions on Winston Peters are not welcome here. Please. But I'll give you $10 for that t-shirt

and then just, you know, straighten it up. The laziest girl job hashtag lazy girl jobs at this moment I will now cross to Shannon social media manager

I don't know whether to get defensive or not you know how do I take this you work very hard you work so hard so lazy no don't let's not pretend on here what have you done? What, created a massive viral sensation? You lazy girl math.

Who's going to be interested in that? I feel like as well. Millions and millions of people. Calling social media producer or managers or whatever lazy is risky for any company because we have so much dirt on our phones. Like the photos I could leak of you, like just even like unflattering photos. Well, you just did a cancelable edit on a video of me.

We shan't say what. She threatened me saying, I will release this and end your career. Her words. Unless you say nice things about social media managers. Well, we really, here at ZM, we value, Shannon,

what you bring to the team so much. Well, there's like times where I won't.5 photo your legs and if I leaked that you'd be so mad. I'm sorry.

You must always.5 our legs. That's in my contract. That is a breach of contract. I thought it was more.5 in the bodies. Well, you aim it at the body and it lengthens the legs. What do you want, just a really long torso and really short legs?

I don't know. See, I'm not lazy. I've got a skill. I know how to.5 you. Yeah, you're not lazy. In fact, all of those jobs on the Lazy Girl jobs. Other than virtual assistant. And good morning to our robot listeners.

Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Now, this is the final episode of Fact of the Day Poop Week that we've been kindly left by Vaughan. Vaughan started the week with such a disgusting topic

and then left us to go on a Disney cruise. Very rude. In the words of REM, everybody poops sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. I used to always think about this. I thought about it since I was a kid. The Queen poops.

Pooped. She's dead now. Yeah. Breaking news. Even the most important famous people will have to stand naked at some stage. Pope Francis. He's pooping. Yeah.

Everybody. Everybody poops. Yeah. I love this fact today. Everybody who poops will know that sometimes in your poops you see a few things, a few familiar things, often corn. And I love it when you do a poop and you see some corn and you're like, when did I have corn? Oh, that's right. It was in that dish.

It was in that dish. Yes. But you always see it intact. And this is why today's fact of the Day is so interesting. There's a reason why. Yes. It's actually very simple, apparently. The outside of a kernel of corn is made of something called cellulose.

It is the indigestible plant fibre. So your body can't break it down. The stomach acids cannot. It can't do it. But the insides it fibre. So your body can't break it down, like the stomach acids cannot? Can't do it. But the insides it can. So the inside it can, but the corn's wrapped in this thing that it can't, the hull makes it through unscathed. So that's the bit that you're seeing.

It's not the whole corn. You burst through the corn, everything in the corn, yum yum. Yeah, your body's like, you know. The yellow bit holds its shape, integrity... And colour. And colour. And that's why you see it. Because it's totally indigestible.

There's a few other things. On this list it says kale... Kale stems. But you wouldn't see those because they're dark green. That's what they say. There's a few other things. Lots of plants that have the cellulose indigestible plant fiber, but because they're like green or darker hued, you wouldn't pick it out.

Yeah. I mean, maybe if you took it out of the toilet and had a good fish around, you'd see it. Yeah. But it's because the corn is bright yellow. That's why you can spot it. And they said, this is really good and this is something I should do and take note of because remember I've got a very long colon.

You do, yes. I was told after my first colonoscopy last year that I had a well-endowed colon and that's why I don't poop as often as some people because it just takes longer for food to pass through. Right. Lots of science behind that. But they said this is a good way to test how well your body is digesting food

and how long it's taking you to pass food. So they have a cup of corn. Eat corn. Like, don't eat corn for a while. Eat corn and then check your poops and be like, oh, that took three days or whatever. And it can give you a little sign on your digestive system whether it's working well or whether you've got some...

We're learning. Something blocked. We're learning. We're learning here at Poop Week. Every day we're learning Poop Week. Fact of the day. So today's fact of the day... Is the reason you will always spot corn in your poop

is because the outside hull of the corn is made of an indigestible plant fibre called cellulose. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Morning, Hayley. Wonderful Adele has confirmed she got married in secret to her partner, Rich Paul. Kind of. This was, like, rumoured, right? And I think it was, like, the worst kept secret. Like, most people are like, it's happened, right?

Yeah, totally. But it was, like, private. Like, you know, a lot of celebs are like, the wedding's coming up, or we know the day, and then we get photos and stuff. She was like, yeah, we did it. I like that. I like that.

Do you think it's because she's so filthy rich that she doesn't need to do a magazine and get paid for wedding photos and stuff? Totally. And she does seem quite private though, eh? Yeah. So Adele, her net worth is

365 million New Zealand dollars. That's a few million. Yeah. Her husband, rich by name, is just under 300 million. So together, because he is a US sports agent. Yeah, that's right. Okay.

And he would get like, what, 10 or 20% of what sports people make. So his contracts that he has made up and then he would get a cut of all combine a $2.32 billion. So he's a big sports agent. So even after like the astronomical taxes in the US, he's still got...

They're fine. They're fine. They'll pay their taxes and they'll still be fine. Would you do a prenup if you're both worth like nearly half a billion dollars each? Yeah. Like, are you just like, it doesn't matter? Yeah, like we'll both be fine. Yeah.

Almost you would just, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, and you know what? I don't know and I will never know what it's like to have hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. Yeah. But anyway, they got married in secret. I love that. Yeah, I know.

And have any details come out about like were there celebrities there? Were there guests? Or was it just a little load? I think it was quite small. Okay. There's not a huge amount

but she's confirmed it and been like, yeah, it was great. We loved it. We loved it. We loved it. Do you know she's back on the rants? She stopped drinking for a bit

because she was like, I think I might have a problem and then she was like, nah, jokes, I just missed it. You could have heard that's a good Adele actually. That's a really good Adele. And like, nah, jokes, I just missed it. You could have heard that's a good Adele, actually. That's a really good Adele.

And now, because you know, I mean, it's the worst kept secret as well, that Aaron wanted to do an elopement. I know people that have eloped like Vegas or wherever and it can cause problems. Hell yeah. Because families, like mums and dads, they live for the wedding. But we wouldn't have done it, we're not going to do it in secret. We'd just be like, hey, we're going away.

This is what's happening. But maybe we could get some calls of whether or not you had a secret wedding that no one knew about. Or do you know someone, like a friend or a family member that's done this? And maybe it was like there was too much drama in the family. So it was like, let's just do it and then be like, sorry, we did it. Because I get some people don't like all the attention, right? Like we know, yeah, there are always... We can't relate, but...

We can't relate because we... There are apparently humans that exist... That don't like attention. That don't thrive on attention. Yep. Where are some? Apparently they're out there. Yeah.

I don't know these people. But people prefer, like, just to run away, just them. Maybe one or two friends or family members or just themselves and just get married. Yeah. I kind of, I get why. Yeah, I get it too. But maybe there was a bigger secret. Maybe no one wanted you to marry that person.

Yes. So instead you had to keep the marriage secret. Or like you get quickly married in secret because you're pregnant. Or because you don't want to leave London. Yes. I didn't do it. 0800 DALZIT AM. We want to take your calls now.

Text through 9696. Did you get married in secret? If you've been married in secret, you secretly ran away to get married. Adele has confirmed that's what happened. Yeah, and she's married now. Looking forward to the next album. But we want to know if you or someone you know

did a little cheeky secret wedding. Amy, you did this in the back garden. Yes, I did, yeah. And who did you tell? There was just a friend and someone from my husband's work and then us, our daughter and the celebrant. Wow. And how did the family take that when you were like, we're married?

We take mixed responses. Everyone's happy for us now. Now? Yeah. With a bit of time passed. Yeah. Yeah, it's been a few months, so yeah, the water's fettered a little bit. I'm always stoked when people elope or just have a small wedding

because it's always expensive to go to a wedding. I was like, oh man, I'm happy for you and I saved myself some money. Also happy to go to our upcoming weddings in the new year that we have. Very excited for those. And not at all nervous about the amount of food that's going to be served. We're not nervous at all. Not at all. We're trusting.

Amy, thank you. Shelly, your grandfather did this. Yes. Long-time listener, first time caller. Oh, my God. Where's the bell? Sorry, the bell's always on Vaughn's side, Shelly. Woo-hoo. Welcome to the show I've got the bell. Sorry, the bell's always on Vaughn's side, Shelley. Woo-hoo!

Welcome to the show, welcome. Welcome. Thank you, yes. So our last name is Ruston and we couldn't work out why everyone else was called Rushton. And so apparently great, great, great, great granddad loved this beautiful woman and both families didn't approve. So they eloped to Canada. They moved there and they changed one letter out of their last name

and thus created a whole different line of... Oh, my God. Why did the family not approve? We don't know. It was so long ago. There's been too many generations. Was one of them a different colour? Are they different colours?

One of them's brown, aren't they? It tends to be that way. Just say it. One of them's brown. It's on the white side of the family. Yeah, there you go. There's the answer. There you go.

Bloody parkia. And so because of that, they made a whole, they changed the family tree. They stopped. Yeah. That's incredible. I love that. Just one little decision for themselves and then you're like, generations, generations. And if you're not happy with it, we're making a whole new name. I love that so much. Yeah. Oh my god.

That's bold. What a cool granddaddy. It's brilliant. It is. Yeah. Shelly, thank you. Some messages in? Quite a lot of messages in. My friends got married in secret a few weeks ago in their lounge wearing t-shirt and jeans. Didn't want to make a big deal of it. Too much drama but wanted to be married. Took 12 minutes for when the celebrants started

talking to when she left. My friend and her boyfriend got married four years ago. Well now this is illegal. So she could still stay overseas on his visa. They only told their close friends. Their parents didn't even know. Now they just got engaged a month ago.

It's so funny seeing all these congratulations messages knowing I know that they've been married for years. Because a few couples do this when they move to places like Dubai where you have to be married to live together. And so they don't want to get official. My brother tried

to have a surprise party wedding, blew our whole family apart, and now no one talks. What? Why? What, they don't like the person? 401, more info, please. What's the reason? What's the reason?

We eloped during COVID, hid it from all of our friends and family, then exactly a year later had a full-blown staged wedding to make everyone feel better about the fact they weren't at the original one. And then at the end we said, it's actually our first wedding anniversary. Oh, that's funny. That's brilliant. I got secretly

married three years ago. We were meant to go to Rarotonga to get married, but COVID shut the whole world down. So we just got married at our work chapel with two witnesses and our son. We announced it on Facebook later that day. My parents were shocked. They weren't told, but they're over it now. Yeah, I think that's the thing.

Everyone that has had a surprise or an eloped wedding, everyone gets over it. Now, 168, this is a problem I'm dealing with here. My husband and I eloped in Hawaii. We told parents and close friends we were doing it, but no one was invited. But they surprised us by showing up anyway. No one's invited. Hayley keeps getting drunk and inviting us to her wedding, and then she gets sober, and she's like, no, no, what are you talking about?

And, like, in the meantime, we've all booked flights to your wedding. Yeah, I know. We're coming. Everyone but me. Also, I love this. I got married to a lesbian for my student allowance at uni. I remember when I was a student,

that was a Shortland Street storyline. Oh, really? Yes. Someone doing that for the... Because there was a giant loophole where you got double, you got extra allowance if you were married, right? Yeah. Yeah, good stuff the... Because there was a giant loophole where you got extra allowance if you were married, right? Yeah.

Yeah, good stuff. Secrets. Everyone's got secrets out there. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy.

I'm just reading what's written here.