ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th October 2023

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

Half-Time Surge  Top 6: Celebs being Normal  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan bought a Flame Thrower!?  Hayley's Hotel  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. Hello, short week. What's up? Hello, short week, you beautiful thing. Thank God, I needed it.

She needed a bit more. Could have had the week a little bit shorter. Kids have got a teachers only day today. Ooh. Teachers nailed that one, eh? Teachers are good at that. Teachers nailed that one. They know what they're doing, the teachers. They nailed that. Kids have got a teachers only day today. Oh. Teachers nailed that one, eh? Teachers are good at that. Teachers nailed that one. They know what they're doing, the teachers.

They have nailed that. Yeah, well done to the teachers. And then they could have had a teachers only day in a couple of weeks time. Nah. No? Have it today. Nah. Smart from them.

Really smart. Just your kids' school or all teachers? Well, I'm sure there are other schools, but I can't speak for them. I can only speak for my children's school. So thank you for not speaking for all schools. I wouldn't dare. Some would. Far be it from a white, straight man to speak on behalf of all schools.

Yeah. I appreciate it. The top six coming up. Lord has been spotted. Yes. In the wild. The Lord. The Lord.

Jesus himself. Oh my God, I knew this day would come. I told you. Okay. Yeah. Female Lord musical recording artist. Yep. Ella.

Ella Jo Connor. Yep. Riding the subway in New York like an ordinary pleb. I know. How dare she? And people are like, what? What? I love when big celebs get spotted on the subway.

Keanu Reeves loves it. I was about to say, Keanu Reeves' subway photos are the best ones. Because if you've ever been to New York, you've got to take the subway. Like, you can't be getting Ubers or taxis. It'd take forever. Don't some people catch the bloody subway to the Met Gala and stuff like that?

Have a bit of fun? Why not? I thought she would have had, like, a mask or something for disguise. Didn't she have a mask for COVID? On the New York subway. Oh, the photo I saw, she had it off. Yeah, same.

Yeah. Okay, right. Well, the top six are dealing with this celebrity sighting. The top six are the normal things celebrities do, apparently. Goodness me. Believe it when I see it. Delve into that. So next on the show, though.

I watched a lot of sport at the weekend. Slid off a bit of steam, are you? Yeah, just releasing the vents, the pressure vents. I watched the lot of sport at the weekend. Slid off a bit of steam, are you? Yeah, just releasing the vents, the pressure vents. I watched the All Blacks. I watched the Black Ferns. I watched the Kiwis play rugby league. I watched the Black Cats. You watched a bit of the cricket at the end?

I fell asleep in the beanbag watching the cricket. Okay. No, I watched the start. Oh, you watched the start. Okay. And then fell asleep. And then at the end, you probably were getting up to watch the end. But something happened.

Very interesting statistic about something that happened around half time of the All Blacks game. 8 o'clock approximately. 8 o'clock in the morning on Saturday was the All Blacks kickoff. It'll be Sunday this week. Yeah, Sunday 8 o'clock. Why don't they call it the Grand Final? It's just the final, isn't it? It's the final game. It's the Grand Final.

The NRL calls their final the Grand Final. Maybe they've taken it. Yeah, and they're a bit up themselves. This is just the down-to-earth, humble World Cup final. No Jimmy Barnes at halftime, Tina Turner. None of that. Yeah, carry on.

Would be nice. Crying show. There's some halftime entertainment. Halftime goes for a long time, too. Are you having a watching, viewing party? Apparently. Fantastic. I'll come.

Yeah, I got an invite. Apparently. Didn't come from Vaughan, but it came from Sade. So it's just as good. Vaughan's happy I'm there. Weekend mornings when Sade doesn't get up for a while are generally my video game times.

And lately she's been wanting to watch rugby games. I've been getting right in the way of my boulders going through. Oh yeah. How am I ever supposed to get this out of the way and get onto Spider-Man 2?

I don't know. Okay. With my work hours interrupted. Will we do a spa afterwards? I've been promised mimosas. Oh okay. Yeah so I was thinking mimosas I'll lose interest in the game.

Bring toms. We'll slip to the spa Carry on the mimosas but remove the orange juice from it Because that's just taken up bulk Unnecessary calories in orange juice And then I have to call Aaron to come pick me up again So the power grid The

Demand in megawatts At just before 8 About 10 to 8 It goes up That's everyone switching on their tellies in megawatts. At just before 8, about 10 to 8, it goes up. Yeah, right. That's everyone switching on their tallies. Yeah, yeah.

That's everyone switching on their tallies. That was me. 4,450 megawatts. Tiddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly. How much is a megawatt? Like, I've got no idea what this...

It's a million watts, isn't it? Is it? Well, I don't know. Generally, if mega's in front of something, it means a million. How much does the kettle use? Well, that's what we, they, if mega's in front of something, it means a million. How much does the kettle use? Well, that's what they think happens at about 8.50.

Huge spike. And they think it was everyone getting a half-time cuppa. This is like the British one where it would get to the first ad break of Coronation Street. Oh, yeah. And the massive drain on the national grid because everybody would flick on the jugs and, of course, they're a high-drain device.

But, yeah, it jumped from 4,450 to 4,650. So a massive jump. So kettle power will use 2,000 watts between 2,000 and 2,400. During the Great Kiwi Kettle Off of 2023, we blew a lot of fuses in this room. But you're talking about megawatts. So, yeah, that's a lot of fuses in this room. But you're talking about megawatts. So yeah, that's a lot of people switching on the kettle. Yeah, and it boosted right up and then just tapers back off back to basically what it was.

Yeah, right. But it took a while. But see, half time, I think that's when I was on eggs. So I had the oven going in or I would have had the jug going. So you were using a lot of watts. Yeah. Okay. It was really what-what out there in the kitchen.

What-what? Yeah. Well, that's really what what out there in the kitchen. What what? Yeah. Well, that's why this weekend when we're watching it, we don't need a kettle. Just pop a bottle. No, the fridge will be open so often. No, it'll be. Spa bubbles.

Oh, yeah, the spa will be cranking. We'll turn the spa bubbles on. Is there a way we could tilt your TV to face the spa? No. Run an AV call. Could we run an AV call? Could we get an AV call? Could we get a projector going on the outside or something?

I guess it's just not going to happen. I guess you guys can watch this. No, no, we can make it work. If we just remove your TV from the wall, we'll remount it. What's the weather doing? It's going to be raining though. That's plenty. Can't take my TV outside if it's raining.

I'll put a brolly over it. It'll be a perfect little set up actually. A little warehouse gazebo. What are you making us for lunch? We're doing brunch. Brekkie. Oh, he's going to get on the barbecue. He's going to cook something delicious.

We'll bring some bacon. Don't bring middle bacon. You'll bring middle bacon. You'll bring middle bacon and a month's free of Fiorelli. You bring shoulder. You bring shoulder, you big. That's only good for bacon and egg pies. That's only good to be chopped up and used in a bacon and egg pie.

No, streaky's too expensive for him. He's going middle, eh? I am only streaky bacon. Oh, how embarrassing. Don't you dare tarnish me with being a middle bacon person. I'll brush shoulder. Don't worry. And here you can cook your middle bacon on the pan in the kitchen.

It'll get all curled up and the skin will go real chewy like bloody rubber. How dare you. Now, there's a mum on the talk who has basically exposed what she is calling a double standard between husbands and wives that exist in heterosexual family structures. And Vaughan, that would be you?

Yep. Unless, I mean, actually, I just pigeonhole you then. I don't know what you guys get up to on the weekend, if it's completely heterosexual or perhaps other. It could be completely bisexual. It's pretty nothing sexual, to be honest. Okay. Yeah, right.

Just like chilling. Yeah, just chilling. Just chilling. Just a couple of mates. Yeah. Sharing a mortgage. And getting ready for their friends to watch rugby next weekend.

In the spa pool. In the spa pool. We really need to get this TV issue sorted, though. Get that thing. I've just had terrible news. I'm getting COVID on Friday. Oh. Oh, my God. I had to test this morning. I'm getting COVID on Friday. Oh my God. I had to test this morning.

I tested this morning because everyone, well, one person that I was hanging out with at the weekend got it. And I was like, don't you dare give it to me. When I saw that, I was like, oh no, here we go. Third time around. But when did you last see them? A while ago. Thursday.

Nah, you would have been fine. Oh, yeah, true. We all did. We were literally all arms around each other. Thank God I haven't seen them for weeks. Thursday, bro. Thursday. Oh, ne.

Nah, anyway. We're neggy. We're neggy. Anyway, so this mum. Secretly, though, Vaughan's like, this would cancel the rugby party. This would. Give me. I'm just going to look at my cowl and find out if.

There's a moochie event this week. They're opening a new store. I'd hate to miss it. Okay. And then we're doing cocktails on Friday. It's really not a good weekend for me, actually. Okay. Yeah.

I'll tell COVID. Thank you. Report it to COVID. Anyway, this mother has called out basically the difference between men and women's hobbies within the family. And she's like, men's hobbies often remove them from the house. They get to go out and expend extended periods of time. Golf.

Golf is a massive example that she has highlighted. Golf blows my mind that men with children on a weekend will just be like, hey, I'm going to play golf and I'll be gone for eight hours and I'm going to come back pissed. And don't see that it's rough. Yeah, it's so rough. I'm coming back boozed. And I'm not going to be able to do it again.

You're actually going to have to come and pick me up from the club. Yeah. Yeah, so that's one example of it. Or like you say, fishing or cricket or rugby, social sports, often takes the men out of the house. Whereas the women who are still very much considered the sort of default parent in a lot of traditional setups have to work their hobbies around the family structure and the family schedule and that a lot of the hobbies that they think that women like

or that they're kind of forced into actually end up serving the family. Things like gardening. Yeah. It's kind of housework. Now, you might really enjoy it. I know, you know, Vaughan, you enjoy working in the garden, but it's still serving your family

and keeping you in the house and available to your family, to your kids. So they say like women's hobbies, gardening, book clubs, painting, yoga can all be done around the family schedule. Whereas a lot of men's, they get to just take these massive hours away from their families. They're like, women love baking. I'm still cooking food. You're going to eat it. Love gardening.

You still get to eat it. Love gardening. You still get to look at this garden. Whereas in your house, it would be completely flipped around because your cocktail kind of events, your hobbies, cocktails. Do remove me from the household. For quite a while. Yeah, and honestly, eight hours would be a pleasure. And yes, I will be coming home intoxicated. Although when you were marching, though,

that would be hours at the weekend, wouldn't it? Months. I'd just be gone. So yes, the role is different in our household. And a lot of Aaron's hobbies, like doing things with his hands, serve the household. What, having him play with himself when you're marching? Serves the household.

Serves the household. Just takes the job off my hands, doesn't it? Keeps his testosterone levels at a manageable level, doesn't he? Yeah, exactly. I mean, he's a fiery gentleman, isn't he? Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the Top Six.

Sorry, distracted. Lorde at the weekend was spotted in New York City riding the subway. And people are like, look at this celebrity riding the subway. How rich is Lorde, do we reckon? Rich. Rich, rich?

I'd say, well, she wouldn't... I left you safari. If I had that amount of money, I wouldn't be riding the subway. I always would go like Lorde net worth, but if you Google mine, well off. Fletcher's was $69 million at one stage. Oh yeah, I think they really got their wires crossed there.

Good lord! No, but if you lived in New York, you would 100% take the subway, even if you were rich and famous. Screw that traffic, eh? The traffic just doesn't move. Like, you get on a subway, you're there. I'd probably have a pretty cool bike. Oh, yeah, like a little e-bike.

Yeah. Okay. Most websites are saying around the 20 mil mark, American. Okay, okay. So, uh... It's got nothing on you, does she? 69 mil? Not a flitch of 69 million dollars.

God, I wish that was true. Lovely photo on the train there with an excited fan, and people are like, what is she doing? Having a normal life? I've got to say, you've got this giant pube hanging off your beard. Do you? That's not a pube, that's literally someone else's hair.

That looks like my hair. Oh no, too brown. But it's too light for, it looks like a kid's. Are you cheating on me? Oh my god, exposed. Got ya. Got ya. Got ya. Who is she? Or he again see there I am

shoving you into a heteronormative box and I really apologise if I was a data man I'd say I'd want his hair to be about that long just so I could get a good handful

yeah a bit of Aaron eh that's what you want something to tug on nah Aaron's is too long we'll be blocking up the bloody clogging up the drain

clogging up the drain in the shower so Lord's got a normal life, guys. So over in the top six things that apparently, top six normal things that celebrities do. Okay. Number six on the list. Apparently they have to sleep.

Did you know this? Well, that's wild. How do they fit that into the day? Of being a busy, all-go, all-the-time celebrity. Well, didn't Michael Jackson did it in a chamber full of propofol? Delicious propofol. Delicious. Maybe a bit too much, you could say.

Yeah, could. Some would say. Well, yeah. Some would say it's a sometimes treat. I get some in a couple of weeks, getting colonoscopy. Have you asked specifically for it so they don't give you the other junk? That's what I got last time at the same place. It's on my medical notes now.

The other one they gave me didn't work real well. I will touch base. I will touch base with the measure. Yeah, make sure it's a propofol. Are you warned you're going to embarrass yourself again? Yep. Yep, okay. God knows what I'll say.

Number five on the list of the top six other normal things celebrities apparently do, like normal, everyday, pleb, boring, waste of space people like me and you. Word is they have to drink water to stay hydrated. Wild. Jeepers. I thought they would have just been drinking liquid gold.

Yeah, and champagne. And champagne. Actual champagne from the Champagne Valley in France, not just bubbly prosciutto. They don't go out of the tap, though, with their water, do they? No, no, no. I reckon they go straight on the tap. Like a hose.

My bloody daughter pushing the button on the fridge and getting water straight out of the fridge into her mouth. And when I caught her, I was like, hey! And she went, and spat the water. And I was like, how long have you been doing that for? And she's like, oh, I just do it when I can't be bothered getting a glass. I'm like, that is feral. Is she a teenage boy?

That's something a teenage boy would do big teenage boy she's licking the milk as well no no because we buy the milk in the three liters i don't think they're strong enough to look at the milk true get the whole three liters up there number four on the list of the top six other uh things celebrities uh apparently do just like normal people i've heard rumors have, that they do poos. No, they don't. Celebrities do poos. Oh, that's insane.

No, they don't. Celebrities do poos. Oh, no, they don't. They absolutely don't. In fact, your favourite celebrity has probably pooed in the last couple of days. Imagine that. Think of the hottest celebrity, like the celebrity that you've got an absolute crush on. And right now, imagine them.

Jason Momoa's dumps would be huge. Yeah, I can imagine. He would take huge 100. He drinks a lot. I heard he had booze poos. It'd have a tang to it. He's a big dude. You know he's on the proats.

He knows lifting. Loves meat. That dude would lay monsters. He would. But you would forgive that. It would be my pleasure to smell it. Yeah. That was disgusting

That was creepy The queen does poops Did poops She's dead I hope she doesn't still do poops Yeah She's in a container now But the king and queen

They do poops Everybody does poops Yeah Number three That was that R.E.M. song eh Everybody poops Yeah Sometimes

Number three on the list Of the top six other things Celebrities apparently do like normal people. You know what they say about celebrities now. Some of them have self-doubts. No, they're full of self-confidence and perfect lives. No, I'm beginning to think maybe behind the scenes they're not. There's a platform called Instagram

and you can see into their real lives unfiltered. They look perfect. Unfiltered, yeah. And it's just, no, they don't have self-doubts. This is going to blow your mind. I think a lot of them are just putting their best foot forward and not sharing their moments. Oh, I don't know about that.

I don't know about that. Unless they're those ones that are constantly sharing their bad moments in an effort for attention or something. Really? Right. Number two on the list of the top six other things celebrities apparently do like normal people are argue with their partners about stacking the dishwasher. I saw your story at the weekend.

God, your wife is not getting any better at that, is she? She's terrible at it. God, I opened it up last night and I was like... I saw spatulas on the lower level. Sorry? Yeah, spatulas in the cup level. Spatulas on the lower level. And it's just stacked up.

She'll just chuck them all on top of each other. She's mad. She's absolutely mad. I was on team Sade, but... No, she's crazy. No, she's got no idea how to stack a dishwasher.

That's actually loco. That is straight loco. Yeah. And then somebody said to me, because there was plastic in there, they said, oh, you don't put plastic in the dishwasher.

It releases chemicals. And I said, all right, Liz Gunn. And then they sent me a link to an official Fisher & Paykel part of the website saying, we do not recommend

washing plastics in the dishwasher. Really? Can you believe it? I thought all of that was dishwasher safe though. You know, like a silicon spatula. Yeah.

Is silicon okay? Or just plastic. Okay. But then if one does say it's dishwasher safe, I'm assuming that it's fine. Loops the plastic. I'm just trying to go on your Instagram to see this.

Oh, it's a story. It's expired. It's gone. I don't really keep tabs on you. You know, I just need to visit more often. Please do. Pop in any time. Someone preoccupied Nelson at the weekend, were they?

From what I remember. And number one on the list of the top six other things celebrities do, just like normal people out the Lord were spotted on the subway. Having a panic attack in the middle of the night, that one day their internet history will be leaked to the public and they'll have to explain everything. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that coming from? I had once upon a time, I can't even explain it, I wasn't on drugs, I hadn't been drinking that much, I was overseas, maybe I was a little bit sleep deprived and I was like, what if one day someone releases your internet history? And I was just like... But I erase it regularly. The cookies, I clear the cache.

You do the cookies in the cache. I do the cookie cookies in cache once a week. Cookies in cache. I love a slice of cache with a couple of cookies and a glass of milk too, but they're going to know. Nothing will clear that. They're going to know. That is today's Top 6.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, on Friday last week, was it? Yes. After our Fletchford and Hayley live show, which, again, thank you so much for those. Yeah. Bloody great.

Huge night. Huge night. And the next day we were somewhat dusted. I think it took me two days to recover. Yeah. Like a sleep and a few drinks. Yeah, totally. And then just the adrenaline, it's a lot.

But the next day, Show Spawn, McDonald's, delivered us some nuggies because they know that we love the nugs. And we knew this was happening and we had spoken about, we'd dreamed up how good it would be to have Donald's nuggies dipped into butter chicken. And we talked about it for a while.

A few listeners had messaged in saying, oh my God, you simply must. You simply must and so Vaughan, king of our hearts, ordered a butter chicken with his family curry. Because we went out for the live show and Shade

went out with the gaggle for a Mexican pre but she ordered for delivery Indian food for the kids and her dad who was looking after them. And I said, chuck an extra butter chicken on there. And she said, why? And I said, you will not benefit at all from this, so I'd rather not tell you.

And then it got pulled in the fridge and the next morning I bought her the butter chicken. So then we had the heated up butter chicken, the non-Eastnug, and then we dipped and it was heaven. It was amazing. And we were talking about this. And then either my algorithm has heard this, or we've actually created a movement.

Because on my Instagram reels, I kept getting shown, and I sent it to you guys, butter chicken dumplings. This is a person making dumplings, chicken dumplings. You make them by hand, but you could just buy them. Yeah, pan fried. Yeah, good stuff. With a kiss of water to steam the top, then the butter chicken over the top.

Butter chicken dumplings. Yeah, that's good. So she actually makes these dumplings by hand. Yeah, I make dumplings by hand. You know what? There are some great chicken dumplings. Yeah, that's good. So she actually makes these dumplings by hand. Yeah, I make dumplings by hand. You know what? There are some great supermarket dumplings. There are. Save the time.

Couple of dollars a bag. Save your time. Yeah, they are good. But they aren't fun to make. Plus you'll never be able to make them cheaper. No. No, you won't. It's like homemade pizza.

It's like making homemade pizza. Yeah, exactly. Oh my God, how was this 40 bucks? So Fletch, you said next docked time with a gassed face. Yeah. And Vaughn said, F off and get in. Get in me now. And now I'm like, have we ignited something?

Because I've always said- On behalf of white people. A macaroni cheese with butter chicken sauce would be legit. You're not wrong. That would be amazing. What else can we put with butter chicken sauce? Sausages. Oh my god. Like a deviled sausage. I mean, not a deviled sausage, a

curried sausage. Yeah, but a butter chicken is not a traditional curry. No. It's very creamy. It's not a curry powder curry. What else could we do? What about toast? What about cheese toastie? Oh yeah. White bread, butter,

cheese, maybe a bit of onion. Or just like dipping a Reuben into a butter chicken. Yeah, good stuff. Oh, that might take too much away from the existing like pickly, buttery Reuben-ness. That's what I mean, just a classic cheese toastie, really buttered, dipped into a butter chicken sauce.

I think just anything that's traditionally saucy, you could change the sauce out for a butter chicken sauce. Yeah, totally you could. Fish and chips? No. No, that's already a thing. Like in England, you can get chips with curry sauce on them. No, but not butter chicken.

But not butter chicken. Man, this is, all I'm saying is this week, if you're ever feeling like you want a little treat, think about what you want and then add butter chicken. You've got to pre-plan your hangover day. Yeah, you do. Yeah, with some butter chicken sauce in the fridge. This is genius. If I know I'm

going out, I'm going to order a curry and put it in the fridge and be like, nobody touch that. That's tomorrow's treat. Life's just better with butter chicken sauce. That's a fact. That's a fact. Put on a t-shirt. Well, over the long weekend, Vegemite turned 100. Happy birthday, Vegemite. I loved it to you, I loved it to you.

Three years after it was made, it was sold to Kraft. And then a few years ago, it was sold back to Bega Group. Bega Group, which is a big dairy and food group in Australia. Yeah, the cheese. So it's back, yeah, it's Australian again. 2017 that happened.

Right. They bought it back for $460 million. 20 million jars of Vegemite are sold a year in Australia alone. I love Vegemite. Yum. So do you reckon they've paid it off yet at $460 million? Do you reckon they've paid it off? I don't know, maybe.

20 million a jar. 20 million jars. What is that, five bucks? What is that, a couple of bucks on a jar? Yeah, making a couple of bucks. Yeah. Well, you can only pick one. Vegemite or Marmite?

Which is it going to be? Marmite. Was it during, no, it was before COVID, the Marmite shortage, eh? Yes. Was it the Marmite shortage? And was it something to do with the crash at Earthquake? Earthquake. Yeah, do you remember that?

That's what it was. It was the factory. The factory, yeah. Correct. I remember that. People went crazy. People went nuts. I was like, we'll just eat Vegemite.

It's a real conundrum for me Because I don't like Vegemite But sanitarium don't pay tax And that's a real sticky point For me Marmite's too bitter for me Vegemite's just got a kiss of It's lighter

Vegemite's brown Marmite's black Like black black When you're spitting on your toast Vegemite's brown. Marmite's black. Like black, black. Wow. When you're spreading it on your toast, it doesn't look... And it tastes like that sooty... No, it's definitely better. A lot of butter and just a kiss of marmite.

Yeah, butter's an absolute must. And avocado. Vegemite. Vegemite, avocado, chilli flakes, pickles, poached egg. Yeah, good stuff. We're partying. You can only pick one, Vegemite, avocado, chili flakes, pickles, poached egg. No, no, no. Good stuff. We're partying. You can only pick one, Vegemite or Marmite.

67% of people said Marmite. 33% said Vegemite. Yes! That's the whole Marmite's made hair situation, isn't it? I knew I was normal and in the majority. That's wrong. Okay, Josh says Marmite mostly because of the black colour. Vegemite's browner colour is a little off-putting for me.

On the other way around, it's less threatening. Wow, okay. It's like you're putting motor oil on your toast versus putting a savoury Nutella. Right, yeah. Yeah, savoury Nutella. Ramon says, how about neither? That stuff is rank. Yeasty spreads is a no-go.

Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I hardly ever eat it. Yeah, same. I'm a type 1 diabetic, says Melody. Okay. And one time my blood sugar levels were dropping fast and all my friends had at their flat, in terms of food, was a jar of Vegemite. I had to eat half a jar of Vegemite straight with a spoon

and I've never looked at it the same since. I feel like there were more options there. Just have a spoonful of sugar. How's the medicine go down? Yeah. The medicine go down. I don't know if that works for a type 1 diabetic. Yeah, no, but with your blood sugars were crashing,

don't you need a fast hit? They have like jelly beans and stuff. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I don't know how it works. Or half a can of Marmite.

Both. They're horrid. The devil. Half a can of Marmite. Both. They're horrid. They're the devil's version of Nutella, says Bex. Whoa, whoa. Don't bring the devil into this. Selma, because my mum didn't force us to eat Marmite, like she forced us to eat Vegemite, and let's face it, Marmite hits different,

probably because it's a tad sweeter. It's not sweeter. I've never known it to be sweeter. Nothing's sweet about it. Gemma said, I'm an Australian. Vegemite. Yeah, okay. Get out.

Rachel, I actually use Bovril. Brits know what they're doing when it comes to spreads, but would pick Vegemite out of these two. Bovril. Bovril is black soot. It's the same, right? It's a yeasty spread. Yeah, it is.

But it's runny. Yeah, it is. But it's runny. Marmite, I'm reading this article about... Oh, it's beefy. Is it? Oh, beefy on a... Salty meat extract paste. Bovril is a trademark of a thick and salty meat extract paste similar to a yeast extract,

except meat developed in the 80s. Just disgusting. How is British Marmite different? Because Marmite is what Vegemite ripped off 100 years ago. So they made their own version, which is Vegemite. When you go to the UK and you have Marmite there, it is, it's really runny and thin. Oh, really?

Like almost a golden syrup. Golden syrup consistency. Really? Yeah, like a honey. Okay. As opposed to ours, which is more gelatinous. Yeah. Okay. Tacky, which is more gelatinous. It's pretty, like... Okay.

Tacky, tacky, tacky. And Terrell says, no, thank you. Yeast spreads are gross. Long live jam. Sweet, delicious jam. Jam's pretty great. Jam's pretty, pretty bloody great. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Terrible when this radio show interrupts our catching up, doesn't it? We were just trying to catch up and then the song finished. We could have done another verse there. Very rude. Very rude, actually. Very rude. TBC, to be continued. Now, there is a man who is a millennial.

Stop touching your pimple. You're blocking the microphone. I know, I know, but I just feel like it's so, my whole mouth can't move. It's fine. Oh no. He is in his 30s and he is the same age as me and he is a millennial

and he was told by a Gen Zer at the club to leave because the way he was dancing was too old. Now, the millennial, the dance moving question was, he put his hands up in the air. Wait, do we not put our hands up in the air anymore?

Put your hands up in the air. Put your hands up in the air. As someone commented, we've been told to put our hands up in the air and wave them like they just don't care. That is our legacy. Yeah. That is what we do. Yeah.

Now, apparently, let's head to a Gen Z-er, Shannon. Oh, Shannon's shaking her head. No, guys, come on. Do it. Put your hands up in the air. Why don't you put your hands up? Because we're not in our 40s. Wow.

Most of us are. No, it's not about that anymore, you know. What do you do when you get excited when the beat drops? I feel like it's a one-handed like... So it's more like a... Your fist pumping. Kind of like a... All right.

Like you've got some maracas. You're holding up the shoulder, but the arm doesn't extend. And the cowboy's back. Everyone kind of will be like, woo! Like cowboy glasses. Okay, guys, we've got this completely wrong. I put my hands up in the air. Do you know this happened to me on the weekend?

I was in Nelson. It's the Nelson Arts Festival at the moment. Go and see some things if you're down there. But after my show, oh, my God. Okay, maybe we'll talk about this later. No, no, I just was, for the first time, I had an interpreter at my show. Oh, you're a sign language interpreter.

And it was so amazing. Oh, my God, because you've seen my show. It's very forward. It's very physically graphic. And these poor two interpreters had to keep interpreting. I said, I hope you know the sign for the term labia. And the guy was like, I've got it. And then every time.

What was it? Every time I would say. Get out of town. Get out of town. I know. New Zealand sign language. Well, I don't know because sometimes

they do it differently to capture the humour and to capture the joke. Right. So when, oh, it was amazing. Didn't he hold it? Maybe we should get into this

in a podcast only. Yeah, we will. A little bit of pod because then we can be explicit. Yeah, and it was actually just one of the best experiences. They made my show so much funnier. Like because I would do the joke, the audience would laugh, and then they'd want to look at the interpreter and be like,

how the hell are they going to say that? Yes. That's what I always do when there's a signing with an interpreter because they're like a couple of beats behind because they're doing the translation. I know. Anyway, amazing. Why was I talking about this?

Oh, because after my show, I was on such a buzz. I went out and saw this band and they were so cool. They were called Keita. And I went, my friend was like, do you know Keita?

And I was like, yeah, I know Keita, thinking it was Keita of Keita and Anita the Drag Queen. And I turned up and it was this cool band and I was like, oh, okay.

And then I was like, my friend was like, let's have a dance. And I just was in there like, I don't know how to dance anymore. And this like cool like Gen Z singer of the band, she was so cool. Everyone around me was so cool. And I was like, oh my God, it's happened.

And I put my hands up in the air and I waved them like, I just don't care. And apparently I was wrong. You don't know you don't do that. You don't do that. Now, if we're not supposed to put our hands up, why did LL Cool J make a song about it? Yeah. DJ Khalid made a song about it. Kylie Minogue knew. Yeah, make a song about it? Yeah. DJ Khalid made a song about it. Kylie Mnognew.

Yeah, but again, these are all people you're naming right now over 30. Benny Benassi. Now, are you telling me that Benny Benassi has put us crook this whole time? Matchbox 20. The Bomb Funk MCs. Yeah, these songs are all like 10, 20, 30 years old Fiddle a drum We're going to see Matchbox 20

Let's not highlight how old that is of us Well anyway Bass Hunter If you're over the age of 26 or something Apparently we've got to stop putting our hands up Put your hands down Put your hands down And do you just like kind of sway side to side?

Yeah Is that Yeah Okay Well you can grab onto a glass of wine side? Yeah. Is that? Yeah. Okay. Well, you could grab onto a glass of wine with two hands and then that's your hand sorted. And you just got to sort of bop. Bop around.

Bop around. Good luck to everyone out there. I can't wait till it does the full loop and mum's wedding dance comes back into fashion. She twists the wrists. A bit like leggy and a bit like step, step, step, step. And they always twist in the wrists saying, Janelle,gy and a bit like step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, And they're always twisting the wrists saying, Chanel, Chanel, come on, get up.

Chanel, come on. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. This is so good. Okay, so you know that I recently had a birthday and... Won't stop going on about it. You're still milking it. I have one a year.

Do you? Coincidentally. I skip a few. I'm actually 56. Are you? Yeah, still milking it. I have one a year. Do you? Coincidentally. I skip a few. I'm actually 56. Are you? Yeah, but I'm 34. That makes sense. Yeah.

So, and you know, on your birthday, all these places you sign up to, like mailing lists of clothing stores you like or beauty brands or whatever, they all send you a little birthday treat. You know? I feel like they used to.

Not as much anymore. Not as much anymore. My local pub, Halotau, where we spent my birthday, gave me a $50 voucher for my birthday. Yeah, but that's only a small percentage of the money you've given them over the course of a year. Invested. Vaughan raises a great point there, Hayley.

I've invested in them. Right, okay. That's like the casino giving a problem gambler a free token. You know? It's just feeding the problem. Hey, I put That's like the casino giving a problem gambler a free token, you know? Like, it's just feeding the problem. Hey, I put it towards our tab. Yeah. Or places that give you like, oh, happy

birthday. You weren't there when the tab was settled, Hayley. No. You were in bed. Well, my card paid for it because I left my wallet behind. That's so nice of you. Thank you. But places when it's your birthday, they're like, oh, happy birthday. Here's 5% off. So they're saying, okay, happy birthday. Come and spend% off. So they're saying, okay, happy birthday. Come and spend money and we'll give you a minuscule amount of money.

I'm not trying to pretend that they're being generous. I'm just going, I love the little treat. Mecca does a good treat on your birthday. You get a little birthday box. You don't have to spend anything at Mecca. Well, if you're going in, top up a couple of things. I've got a very cheap moisturizer, so I'll just grab one of those while I'm there.

Yeah. So this person shared on TikTok that they basically sign up to one thing for every day of the week. Every day of the year, sorry. So that each day of the year they get something free. So going like... But do you have to prove to them it's your birthday? No.

Or are you just, when you sign up, say, this is my date of birth? So they go, other than Christmas and New Year's, because they're like, I'm not going out on those days. Yeah. They would sign up to something free and they'd put it in a spreadsheet. So it'd be like, today is October 24th.

I'd open up my spreadsheet and be like, oh, I've got a voucher for a movie because it's my birthday. And they said the admin of it is extreme because every day they're getting an email saying, hey, here's your birthday surprise inside. You're going to spend it by this date. But that's also the thing is because it's your birthday, when you get those emails in the lead up to your birthday,

often you'll just be like, oh, that'll be great. And then you get busy and forget you've got them. I use none of mine other than the Halotel one and the Mecca one. But I was like, this is genius. So anytime you sign up to something, just put a different date in your spreadsheet. Put, okay, for this date,

I've signed up to this clothing brand. They're going to give me 10% off. Or a little, I like the ones that are a little treat, like free cheeseburger or something. You know what I mean? Yeah. Free fries. You know what I mean? Yeah. Free fries. I guess you could do one every day

and then your admin for the next year ahead would be done. Yeah, exactly. All you've got to do is have the email, you've got to keep track of the email arriving because they always arrive like before your birthday, around the birthday. I can even think of 365 things I'd want to sign up for. No, neither. Because they're all punishing you with emails every day even when it's not your birthday. I can even think of 365 things I'd want to sign up for. No, neither.

Because they're all punishing you with emails every day, even when it's not your birthday. You'd have to have, I'd do a birthday email address. So that was just the admin for that. We just did this inbox. Hayley's birthday at gmail.com. Yeah, Hayley's birthday. Not suspicious at all.

No, not at all. And then you'd just have to check that once a day And be like right allocate them Maybe have a folder you can drag the vouchers into It'll be worth it Freebies I love freebies I'm just trying to see if any of mine Are still valid

Like you say usually it's like $5 off Yeah but it's within the month of your Golden fingers tie massage Happy birthday to you $5 off or something. Yeah, but it's within the month of your... Golden Fingers Thai Massage. Happy birthday to you. What are they giving you? $9 off. What a weird amount of off. Yeah, why not?

It's truly a strange offer. Do five or ten. Yeah. Nine, that's such an odd amount. Yeah. It makes me uneasy. I don't want to... I want to know where that other dollar's gone.

Well, that's valid for seven days. That's gone. Let's delete that. Hella Child, birthday beer from Hella Child. I know. Maybe I'll sign up to Magic Fingers. Every day's your birthday at Magic Fingers. Tell you what, feels like it.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. I got to do a few of my favourite things at the weekend. Did some water blasting. Bloody love water blasting. Spent a lot of hours waterblasting. Did you leave lots of lines, though? You know when people waterblast and you say, sir, sir.

I know, the lines. They're like, people leave lines in their driveway on their path. I am a professional. You have done a terrible job here. You've got to feather the ends. Dad's got big electric waterblaster energy. Oh, does he? Those lines.

I'm a petrol-powered bad boy. Oh, okay. Wow. I've got 3,200 PSI there. Wow. I've got 3200 PSI there. Wow. Your kids will have no planet left. What? They'll have a clean planet left.

Not a drop of moss or mould on it. Yeah. Yeah, clean up those tiles. And then I did an unsupervised trip to Mitre 10. Shouldn't have. Dangerous. I was in a silly mood. Okay.

And I came home with something I've wanted for a little while. A flamethrower. When I saw this on your story, I was like, what have you bought that for? How much was it? It wasn't cheap, but it's New Zealand made, and I'm all about supporting local industry. It's made in New Plymouth. It's made in New Plymouth.

Practically charity. Yeah, I like to do a bit of charity for that. You're of New Zealand. Of course it's made in New Plymouth. It's made in New Plymouth. Practically charity. Yeah, I'd like to do a bit of charity for that. The Order of New Zealand, have you been there? Of course it's made in New Plymouth. Didn't they have the, what were their Google searches? Bombs and gay sex. Yeah. Gay sex and how do they come out?

And that was a long time ago. Maybe things have changed. I would like to see what they've been doing. The latest things New Plymouth have been Googling. Yeah, what's New Plymouth been Googling? But so here's why. And I did a little bit of girl math on the spot. You would have been proud of me. Oh, that's New Plymouth been Googling? But so, here's why. And I did a little bit of girl math on the spot.

You would have been proud of me. Oh, that's good. I was doing the math. Oh, I'm back on board now. Because I'm using it primarily for weed eating, for weeding. Getting rid of weeds.

Why don't you use spray? Huh? Why don't you spray them? Spray, no, no, spray's not great. Right. I saw on your Instagram story

you put the flame, it's, I mean, calling it a flamethrower is a little bit of an exaggeration. You carry around a barbecue gas bottle, which I've got a 4kg one, so that's good because imagine hauling around a 9kg. And it's like a can at the end of a stick. No, no, no, it's not a can.

That's the thing that protects you from the flame, points the flames in the right direction. So you turn on the pilot flame, you turn this little dial on, and then you go click, click, click, and it goes. And then there's a flame there, and then you give it a bit of gas on the pilot flame, you turn this little dial on, and then you go click, click, click, and it goes... And then there's a flame there, and then you give it a bit of gas on the old handle, like a pistol, like a trigger, and it goes... You're burning your weeds off. Yeah, so it destroys, like, the plant's ability to feed itself,

and then it dies. Are the roots still there? You're not burning the roots. It kills down into the roots. Does it? Yeah. Well, I mean, for those ones, I'll be giving them a little extra. Oomph, oomph.

But it just seems like the weed that you were killing, you could have just literally pulled it out of the ground. I could pull it out, but there's thousands around. I don't even know what that plant is. It's this little greeny thing. We've got these wild lilies. I'm a big weed guy. Yeah.

I know a lot. No, you've got the wrong weed. People are like, yeah, wrong weed. Not marijuana. I'm talking like weeds. I know I'm going to be like, oh, woolly nightshade. I've got my top climbing asparagus. Hate it.

I can give a... And now I can set to it with my flamethrower. Can you come and flame ours? Yeah, dude. I'll flame it with my flamethrower. Can you come and flame owls? Yeah, dude. I'll flame you because your driveway would be perfect. Driveways covered in wings. But why don't you just round up those? Stones can't catch. I don't know about round.

I understand on a large scale thing sometimes that's the easiest way to do it. But just around, I'm like, well, I can do this. And it's no harm, no foul. And there's no like the dogs are always, when I'm spraying, the dogs are always following me around. We've got two very dumb dogs. Yeah. But if they do that to a burnt plant.

It seems a bit overkill. So then I had some sticks, so I lit them on fire, and then I set a little outside fire and burnt some sticks, and then I can use it to light my charcoal barbecue. Just stand there until that's going then turn it off and I'm away laughing with the barbecue. Wow. And just stand. Can you just get a lighter?

And go and flamethrow stuff. How much did this cost? We don't need to worry too much about how much it cost because. How did you gulmeth it? Well, it's got three jobs. Yeah. Weeds. Killing weeds. Lighting the barbecue and starting like burny fires. about how much it costs because how did you girl math that? well it's got three jobs yeah weeds killing weeds lighting the barbecue

and starting like burning fires for sticks and stuff see those last two were a lot of sticks fall off the trees and you've got to do a big pile of sticks

you're going to start a bloody scrub fire man that's what everybody replied to me my dad got one this was always the line my dad got one of those and then dot dot dot

yeah he burned a hole in the fence. He burnt down his garden shed. He blew himself up? No one's blown themselves up yet. Is it the hot devil flame torch? No, but that sounds pretty good. Oh, yeah.

Is that smaller than yours? Oh, yeah, that's a baby's. That's entrance. That's a blowtorch. That looks like something you'd make a creme brulee with. Yeah, that's a blowtorch. I could make creme brulee with my... Smaller. I could totally do a big creme brulee with. Yeah, that's a bloat. I could make creme brulee with my... I could totally do a big creme brulee with this.

You would evaporate a creme brulee with that flamethrower you've purchased. Yeah. I'm trying to find it. I want to see this thing. Again, to reiterate, I didn't look at your stories over the weekend. I know. Is that what hurts the most? I'm just taking a break.

Hayley did not notice your stories over the weekend. Did you notice my story? We went for a hike at the weekend. Yeah, I saw that. And then I made a mental note to myself never to go on a hike with you because you made our friend vomit. I want a flamethrower. Yeah, do the flamethrower rules.

I'll bring it around. Aaron will be in today. Aaron will be in today. Oh, that was the other thing. Woodworking. You know that Japanese The Japanese woodworking Where you burn the wood Yeah

And it kind of like Treats it and stuff They also do that for hats You could become a hat maker Wool hats You do a burn on them And get all the Crap off

I can burn the wool hats Gotta get them off your head Quickly though Otherwise they melt to your head Oh and don't do it While the hat's on your head I don't know much about hat making But this much I do know

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley hats on your head. I don't know much about hat making but this much I do know. I'm sorry. Vaughn, look at Fletch right now. Yeah, I know. Oops. I've got the morning light bouncing off the spark building into my eyes.

Take a photo. Yeah, I'm going to take a quick little photo and I'll add it to the socials. Go more front on because you're casting a shadow over yourself. Now sort of look over.

Yeah, that's it. Now stop frowning and now just being just casual cool. There you go. Ready? Three, two. Now take your pants off. If you take your pants off. Take your shirt off.

I can't pay you today, but I can pass this photo and series of videos on to producers. He's got abs at the moment. On to an agent? Yeah, yeah. And they will pay you up to $5,000. Okay, fantastic. Now while you've got your shirt off. Head to my socials. You can put your pants back on now.

Thank you. Honestly. I might make that my desktop background. It's 18 minutes away from A. It is indeed. God, he's gorgeous. Now, a mum has shared that when she does the school pick up, she has to basically scale the walls and do like,

not scale the walls, but like, you know, like shuffle along the walls like crab walking. She's got a hole in her pants. No, she's got rude tattoos on her legs. She's 27 years old and she's got some swear words. What, like on the back of her thigh or leg

or something? One on the back of each calf. One of them says, bitch, please. And the other one says, you ain't shit oh my god that's yuck she's got a lot of tattoos right

like they're blended in with other things but she's like oh my god I'm at the school pick up with young kids and they'll be able

to read them and be like haha swear words so she does she like literally just sort of like walks side by side

could she do a plaster on each leg but then that's expensive every day picking up the kids you're remembering a plaster on each leg? But then that's expensive. Every day, picking up the kids, you're remembering a plaster. Or just wear pants. Big plaster too. One of those ones where you cut your own length. Oh, yes.

Yeah, it would be like a ribbon of. Those are always ouchies to pull off. Yeah, those always are really. Real ouchies. The fabric ones, ain't they? God, they grip. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and then. But then, you know, the plastic ones come off too easy. What do we want? We're hard to please, aren't we? Gosh, when it comes to plasters, we're hard to please. A lot of people were jumping on sharing it as well. That they've got old tattoos that they have

to hide now that they're proper adults. Well, some people still hide tattoos from their parents. Which blows my mind. I've got a friend who has one on his torso. Parents have never seen it. And I was like, why? And he was like, I just can't. And I was like, what do got a friend who has one on his torso. Yeah. Parents have never seen it. And I was like, why? And he was like, I just can't. And I was like, what do you do at like summer if you're like hanging out and go to the beach together or something? He's like, I'll wear a rash shirt. Oh yeah, well that's important to even just, you know,

without a tattoo, wearing a rash t-shirt is great to keep the sun off the sexiness. Yeah, but not great for the, um, for the sexiness. No offence. I mean, sun's smart and all that whole neosone layer, but you look silly. Anyway. Rash shirt, mullet flap hat, you know, keep the sun off the neck. Yeah. Some zinc.

Love a flap hat. And some reef shoes. I mean, you're talking about sexy sexy. Reef shoes! That's a sexy man. I might need a moment. I'm aroused. Sexy man. Yeah.

I officially have just aggressively patterned board shorts down below the knee. And like just under the kneecap. Yeah. There is nothing sexier than reef shoes.

I know. Because my parents live near a river and we'd always go river swimming and they've got reef shoes because the boulders are too much.

And every time I wear them I'm always like, I hate myself. You're in togs looking like a little dumpling. And then you walk and it's like,

squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. Otherak, squeak, squeak, squeak. Other people were sharing this. They've got someone has a Mickey mouse flipping the bird. And when they went to Disneyland, like all kids could see it and stuff. And they're like, oh, damn it. This is bad. It's weird that someone would get that tattoo and they would be the same person that years later would be like,

oh, I don't want kids seeing this at Disneyland. I know. If you're going to get that tattoo, you don't really care what kids think at Disneyland. You'd just be doing your own thing. Or you'd get it somewhere under a t-shirt or where it wouldn't normally be seen, right? Just speaking of tattoos, just a side thought. God, Billie Eilish got a massive back piece and it's horrendous. Anyway, I want to know if you've got a tattoo that you still have to cover up or hide, maybe all the time or maybe just some of the time.

Maybe because of your parents or because it's offensive. Maybe when you're picking up your kids, you know, that tattoo of FBs and get money isn't so good, you know. Yeah. And you've got to, like, cover that up now. We're asking if you have a tattoo you cover up for some reason because there's a mum who, like, has swear words on the backs of her legs and so she sort of crab walks along the walls so that people don't see it.

It's a good idea maybe in your early 20s. Yeah. But as you get older, maybe you're like, well, that was a silly mistake. Yeah. Yeah. Or you have to hide from the parents. Taylor, what is the tattoo that you're hiding? I have two on the back of my legs as well,

and they are marijuana legs. You naughty, naughty. How old were you when you got those? I would have been, oh, gosh, I'm 26 now, and it was only a few years ago, to be honest. Hey, live, love, laugh, you know. now, and it was only a few years ago, to be honest. Hey, live, love, laugh, you know? Yeah, and, like, it's dumb, though. Like, you know, I have a four-year-old child,

and I feel like I, you know, when I go pick him up, I feel like, you know, oh, I've got to wear tights, because I don't know. They might see me and be like, oh, this girl? I don't know. This girl? This story could literally be your story. Yeah, literally. It's exactly the same.

I mean, maybe why don't you just put some tomatoes on it near them and then say they're tomato plushies, but Gardner. Yeah, loves a Gardner. Your table loves a Gardner. I just say they're maple leaves, right? Yes, just put the Canadian flag, just a little touch up. Brown them up a bit. Yeah, brown them up

Yeah, beautiful Out of interest, how old were you when you got the marijuana tattoos? About 22, was I? 22? Um, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Roughly, I'm 26 now Wow, and it's changed, your opinions changed that much? No, opinion has it, she just doesn't want people to see them

She's just the audience No, no, so yeah, like, and it's like Oh, okay, if I has it. She just doesn't want people to see them. She's just an audience. No, no. So, yeah, like, and it's like, oh, okay, if I take my four-year-old child to the swimming pool, you know, can't really cover them up. I don't know. You just kind of feel judgy, but I love them. Yeah, well, you just ruined it.

Your body, your choice, you know. Exactly. Taylor, thanks for your call. Ask the messages in. What? I'm just going to need to work on how to tell that one over the next song that plays. I'm not even sure how that would work. I would like to see a photo of the person with the Virgin Mary as a something else.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, we've got Michaela on the phone. She can explain it next. No, she can explain it next. I've seen a version of these, Michaela. You might have seen mine. I'll take you guys on Instagram. No, I thought it was really

funny. Well, let's find out next what it is. Wait, let's find out next what it is. Give the people a tease. Oh my God, Michaela, stay with us. He's a radio professional. We're talking about tattoos that need to be covered up for certain occasions that are inappropriate. Yeah, and we had lovely Michaela who has a tattoo that needed some description.

Yeah, is it an oyster? Is it a papaya? What could it be? So I just thought it was really funny to get the Virgin Mary as a vulva. Now, funny on a T-shirt, funny on a T-shirt, funny on a postcard to send to a prudish pal. Hey, the vulva, we celebrate.

Oh, no, yeah, we do. But wait, it's not a tattoo around the vulva that incorporates. It's somewhere else on the body. No, that probably would have been a better idea. No, it's on the side of my leg where everyone can see on the outside. Yeah. Where some children hide. You sort of get it because I had a little Google of the Virgin Mary as a vulva.

And it's because she's got the sort of cloak. She's quite flappy. Yeah, she is quite flappy. You're right there. The robes are flappy. Yes. And she's got her little robe over her head. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you like it for a deeper, more poetic reason or as you said before, just because it was funny? It was funny for about four days. Yeah. And then you realise it's forever. And then I'm sort of trying to incorporate it. I'm going to turn it into flowers or some sort of...

Oh wait, do you think you're going to cover it up and try to make it a little bit... Yeah, I have a professional job now, so I work for the government. Midwife. Oh, no, work for the government. I work for the government. Well, we do keep church and state separated, don't we? Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.

So they shouldn't be allowed to judge you for that. Oh, I love that. My question, how old were you when you got it, and how old are you now? I'm almost 40, and I think I was about 33. Oh, okay. So still within the last decade. The same age as Jesus was when he departed. God bless.

She knows. You can't fold her on your biblical knowledge. I love that, Michaela. Thank you so much for sharing. Ask some text messages in, the tattoos that you're hiding. I have my husband's name on my bum cheek and I probably cover it up because it would be inappropriate To walk with it out

Because I've had it before, people saying Who's the essayist's name Who's Kevin, just out of interest I don't have any tattoos on my butt But I would like one You do have tattoos though, eh? Yeah, but they're all covered Because I had lofty dreams of being a famous actress

Slipping away at a rapid rate. But I didn't want to put any on my arms and legs. Right. They can cover those up. They're on the torso. But then you've got to be so good that they've also got to be like, okay, so she's an actress. That they'll bother? But you've got to bother to cover them up.

I've got to say, I'm not that good, you know. Somebody has their penises tattooed. Yes. Oh, ouch. And hide. I always had to cover it up going for showers at the gym, et cetera. their penis is tattooed. Ow. And hide. They always had to cover it up going for showers at the gym, etc. Lol, do not call. That's what their text said.

Question. Do you have to... Yes. Because I know someone that had a tattooed willy and you do, yes. It has to be in a state of excitement. You have to keep it flushed.

What? Or toit? Toit. Toit. Toit. Not hard. Yes. Yeah, you've got to get it. It's like if you ride on an

inflated balloon and then let all the air out, it goes real little, doesn't it? Yeah. The writing goes all weird and little. Goes all shriveled and wrinkly and stuff. Yeah, but it'd be funny though. It'd be like, what the hell is that? And then wait and see. Oh, okay. Just you wait and see. Ouch. My husband'd be funny though. I'd be like, what the hell is that? And then, oh, okay. Just you wait and see.

Ouch. My husband has... How do you keep it at full attention for that amount of time? Yeah. Tattoos do take some time. I have a friend whose pubis,

the top, was tattooed and she said it was so painful. It was the most painful experience. I bet. What does the tattoo say above the pubis? It's like a heart. It's like a

design. It doesn't say anything. It was that stage there where people were getting above the pubis getting the little lawnmower. Yes. And lasering off some of your pubis. Exactly. My husband has two road signs on his butt cheeks. One says

Dirt road and the other says No entry It's very embarrassing for him now Ten years later in the change rooms at the pool Because he doesn't know where to face getting changed Front exposed Or questions from little kids about his bum Which, use the family change room

Now if they're available I've got bite me written on my ass Slightly too low to be covered by a bikini bottom. Forgot about that when I was lining up for the slides at Hamner Springs

and the kids were laughing behind me. So now I either have to have the ass crack showing or bite me. I don't know which one's worse. Yeah.

Yeah. So many people have butt tattoos. Like 50% of these messages are about the butts. The most coverable area really. Yeah.

Oh, what a shame, buddy. Sarah forever. Gosh. Oh, yeah. Someone got Sarah forever tattooed on their neck. Like Sarah and then the number four and then ever, like all in a row. No gaps, no nothing. No capitals.

And when did that end? Three days later. Oh. Sarah for now, actually. It's just Sarah just for now. This weekend I was in Nelson, performing at the Nelson Arts Festival, which is on at the moment.

We had an amazing time. It was such a great show. The Theatre Royal in Nelson, built in 1878. Same year as my house. Loved it. Yeah. Beautiful theatre. the Theatre Royal in Nelson built in 1878 same year as my house loved it yeah beautiful theatre and afterwards

I went out with some friends I had some friends who were down there and I'm one of my old friends who is actually running the festival we went to this band

had a great night went out and again two o'clock in the morning I got back to the hotel two o'clock two o'clock in the morning you know what it's like

now you feel the post-show adrenaline buzz. It's hard to shake. Anyway, so the next morning I woke up with 15 minutes, I reckon, before I needed to check out. It's been a while since I've had one of those checkouts where you wake up

and you're like, flight leaves in an hour. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Flight-wise I was okay. But I had to, checkout was 10 and it was 9.45. And to tell you that I had torn apart my clothes when I got back in and everything was everywhere. It was terrible. And so I quickly, one, I was like,

well, I can't go to the airport without having a shower because this will be my last opportunity for a couple of days. So I had a shower. Yeah. And then it was quickly like dumping things into my bag. And then my hair was dripping wet. And I was like, oh, I've got time. It was 10 o'clock on the dot.

And I was like, but what are they going to do? Yeah. And I was like, I'll quickly get my hair just a little pre-dry to get it going. And so I was in like skin coloured undies high waist undies skin coloured bra rough, looking rough head upside down

like towards, I was like this my head upside down in the hair dryer with my ass pointed towards the door and then it was like the cleaner went knock knock knock open oh yeah, the knock on the door that knock, knock, open. Oh, yeah. The knock on the door. That's not how.

Yeah. I mean, I know it's 10 o'clock and technically I'm not supposed to be here anymore. Yeah, you should be out of the room by now. I would be interested to know, having never worked at a hotel, if the people on reception are letting the cleaners know who's checked out. Because sometimes you see them, they've got little walkie-talkies. And they're like, yeah, six, four, two's clear, over, move in, move in.

Well, they clearly didn't have that chat because she just did a knock as if it was just habit, not actually checking if anyone was there. I don't know how she didn't hear the hairdryer. Yeah. I don't know how,

I don't honestly, and then all she would have seen is like a fleshy ass pointed her way. It probably looked like I wasn't wearing undies, but I was, I swear. Yeah.

They were just flesh-coloured undies. And I was like, her! And she goes, ah! And she like screamed and leant. Oh, no, she screamed. She screamed at the side of my baby body. And she's a cleaner, so she's seen some things. I know.

She's used to dealing with a real mess. Oh, my God. It was terrible. And then so I had to like abandon the hair, quickly chuck clothes on, put shoes on, realise I'd cut my bloody laces the night before because I couldn't get the knot. Chuck Taylor laces? You were that drunk.

No, no, no, no. Just the Chuck Taylor laces. Aaron thinks I tie them funny because I can't ever get them undone and when you pull them they just get tighter and tighter and tighter. You know that fabric of a Chuck Taylor lace? So I had to slice those off. So then I'm re-tying these shoelaces and then I was so embarrassed

to do that little thing like peep through the door and make sure the cleaner wasn't just like standing there waiting and slip away. So sorry to that cleaner. Gosh, you really... Who let out quite an audible scream.

Yeah, like that. Not like, oh, sorry. Just, ah! You got to knock. She did knock as the door opened, ah! Are you going to knock? She did knock as the door opened. No, but you should have been out of the room. Yeah, to be fair, by the time I got to the checkout, it was 10.15. But how did, no, that's too quick.

It was tight, man, but she was at the door at 10. How big a hotel was it? Hundreds of rooms? Are we talking 20 rooms? Split the diff. Okay. Yeah. Surely she could have started somewhere else.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she could have. Someone that was confirmed. For her own sake. For her own sake. I mean, what would you, it would be too much for your eye

to even figure out what's happening. Because I was, I was so tired. I wasn't just like blow drying, standing up. I was like upside down. And a real magic eye puzzle for that Paul Kleiner. Yeah, well she was looking right in my magic eye. It's one shot.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. In Me is Britney Spears' impending book. The due date is today, but American time. So imagine we'll get- Tomorrow?

Tomorrow. I haven't pre-ordered or anything. Sort of hoping I'll just be able to walk in somewhere and grab it, but it's going to be like hot. Have you been excited for a book release? I've never seen you excited for a book release before.

Ken Fullett. Oh, yes. Ken Fullett's fifth part in the Kingsbridge series. I'd say if anybody in this room is excited for books, it's her. Yeah. You and I don't get excited for books. But no, not like this. Yeah. Oh, yes. Kim Fullett's fifth part in the Kingsbridge series. I'd say if anybody in this room is excited for books, it's her. Yeah. You and I don't get excited for books.

But no, not like this. Yeah. Not like this. Not in a way where I'm just like, I want to, I just, because she's fascinating and I love Britney, but she is a fascinating watch, you know. I feel bad. I don't follow her on Instagram or anything.

I just felt bad that it was just. Because it is very voyeuristic. It's like we were like watching a bit of a train wreck happen. Yeah, exactly. You feel sorry for her or people are laughing at her or another thing. But I feel like this book might take some of that away. It's been so long since she's done

any kind of sit-down interviews. And this is what we've all wanted to know. And her social media is so bizarre that you don't actually get to learn anything of where she's at. I mean, she went through a divorce and then it was just like, and like dancing around in circles. And you're like, hon, are you okay?

Did she have knives last week? Yeah, she had knives and stuff. So she said that those weren't real. Yeah, and they were inspired by Shakira. Anyway, so there's little excerpts that have come out, little reviews and stuff. And I've got some of the takeaways. You would have heard before one that she had an abortion with Justin Timberlake.

He was her first kiss. Also that he dumped her. She was on a set filming a music video and then she just disappeared off the set for like hours. They couldn't find her and then someone found her and she was like on the floor crying and the text and it was just, it's over.

That's all. That's all. It's over. Something tells me Justin's not going to come out very well in this book. No. Honestly. Well, weren't his people one of the reasons that got delayed the first time around?

There was a few people involved that were mentioned in the book. Oh, right. Yes. That I guess if you're going to make those accusations against people, you've got to get their comment on it or rather than put the book out there and then, of course, you're going to get the lawsuit. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right, actually. So I imagine a lot about Justin because she said, I read an excerpt where she said he lost the best thing that ever happened to her. Now, I think he'd be looking at his marriage with Jessica Biel, which is nice and probably quiet and boring. And it's like, I'm all right. She said that the conservatorship,

that's what I want to know about. I know. That thing was bizarre. Did I read over the weekend, a nurse told her about the Free Britney movement. Yeah. Like that's how she found out about it. She was like, what the hell?

Didn't even know. She said it made her feel like a child robot. Because it started from like years. And she's always been like childlike. So those child stars, they never quite reach their adulthood. They just sort of get thrown into it. Michael Jackson. Pretty well balanced.

Pretty sound. Pretty sound of mine. She talked about why she shaved her head in 2007. She said it was her way of pushing back and taking what little control over her life that she could, that she'd been watched and like eyeballed and photographed and, you know, people making money off of her when she didn't want to be doing it.

So she's like, I'll just make myself ugly, basically. Yeah. And that's, I'm in charge of that and I can do this. So she did that. And then there was another thing she mentioned that, you know, because if you follow her on Instagram, she's like always half nude or like doing these weird sexy things. And people are like, she's crazy.

But she's like, no, I fully understand. She's like, people don't know why I love taking pictures of myself naked or in new dresses. She said, but if you'd been photographed by other people thousands of times without your consent, prodded and posed for other people's approval, you'd understand why I want to claim back my own body and show it off on my own terms and be like, this is actually my body and I'm showing,

I'm choosing to show it to you, not being forced to. It's going to be a good read, isn't it? It's going to be a good read. Yeah, a lot about Justin. She also explains why she stopped acting after Crossroads. Did she have a say in that is all I'm asking. So she said she revealed that she was almost cast in the iconic film The Notebook. She said it came down to her and Rachel McAdams.

She said even though it would have been fun to reconnect with Ryan Gosling After our time on the Mickey Mouse Club I'm glad I didn't do it She also talks about her alcohol Her relationship With drugs and alcohol Saying that it was like normal For a while but then she would like get into drinking

Quite heavily Because there were those sort of days of her When she'd hang out with like Paris and that and go to the clubs and then flash her hoo-ha in the back of a cab. Anyway, I'm honestly, I don't know why I'm so fascinated. She's just fascinating. I demand an Oprah. Oh, yeah.

I demand an Oprah. I reckon if the book sells well enough, she won't do an Oprah. But if it's not moving as much as they wanted, they'll do an Oprah. It'll move. That's do an Oprah It'll move That's my prediction It'll move She's such She's an alien to us

Anyway Out tomorrow-ish I guess Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Fact of the day Day day day day Welcome to Lingerie Week, ladies and gentlemen. Get your panties on. This is an attempt to sexy it up after last week's stamp week. Yeah, well, let's see if we hear from international lingerie lovers.

We may do. With facts. Yeah. Like we did last week from the stamp collectors and theie lovers. We may do. With facts. Yeah. Like we did last week from the stamp collectors and the stamp lovers. Well, I actually mentioned this word on Friday when I laughed and said we could do lingerie week

about the monobosom. And today's fact of the day is indeed about the monobism. Monobism. Monobism. Start of the 1900s, the monobism girdle was the lingerie of the moment. What is the lingerie of the moment.

What is the lingerie of the moment now? Comfort. I reckon we've gone the other way. So it's less about looks and sexiness. It's more just comfort. Smooth, soft comfort. Right. Thick strap.

Thick back. This isn't just you pushing the nanner agenda on us. Does it get more nanner agenda on us. Does it get more nanner-y than this? That's comfort. Oh my god. That strap. That looks like a comfortable strap. Even that clap of it against you sounded comfortable. Hang on.

Oh. Thicky. She's a thickie. It's a thick strap. It sounds comfortable. Yeah, I don't know. Well, it ended around World War I, but the monobosom girdle was basically pushed the boobs together. Girdles. That was, he was with Hitler, wasn't he?

Yeah, he was a really bad German. You're thinking of Goebbels. Goebbels. That's the one, yeah. And not to be confused with Paris Goebbels, who teaches people dance moves. Yeah, okay. So the girdle pushed the breasts in and up,

but the dresses worn over the top were loose fitting. So it appeared as if there was one sort of central, almost cycloptic breast. Like a pigeon, eh? So it was called the pigeon breast because, and this is something else I learned, pigeons have a very prominent chest bone. Yeah, right. You know when you get a pigeon, eh? So it was called the pigeon breast because, and this is something else I learned, pigeons have a very prominent chest bone. Yeah, right. You know when you get a chicken,

you know when you get a bachelor's handbag? Let's take you to a bachelor's handbag. And you get the chicken and you can see the two breasts. But the bone in the middle sinks in. And then when you get down into it, it's just that gristly like pull bit down here. And there's the wishbone at the top. And there's a joinbone at the top.

And there's a join there. I'm having a roast chicken tonight actually. This is great anatomy for me when I break it up. You can think about that if you were eating a pigeon apparently, I've never seen it. I wouldn't eat a pigeon. I would eat a pigeon. I'm doing alright for myself. I don't need a pigeon. Why do you think the kereru is in such

short supply? See, I never said I wouldn't eat a kereru do you think The kereru Is in such short supply See I never said I wouldn't need a Kereru It's on you I need one of those They look delicious It's of the pigeon family Honey soy

I'd do a honey soy kereru Oh yeah right I'd do a buttered Kereru Butter chicken Butter chicken kereru Butter chicken yeah Chicken sauce would be nice

I think you'd probably have to go With a more traditional flavour Wouldn't you go A kawakawa and a kumara Oh yeah you could Kawakawa kumara Stuffing and a Yeah A lemon herb Could Oh, yeah, you could. Kawakawa, kūmura, stuffing and a ketidu. A lemon herb.

Could I do some lemon herb in there? Yeah, good. Okay, good. Yeah. Sweet, sour. Maybe just subtle. I think that would take away from the flavour of the ketidu itself. I'd batter it.

Like put a crumb, like a panko. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. Ketidu schnitz. A ketidu parmesan. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah, now we're talking.

Let's stop talking about eating delicious things. I'll eat it. So the bone, apparently, of the pigeon is more prominent, which means it's rounded to a point. Right, yeah. So when the girdle was pulling you up and in, you looked like a pigeon. And it would arch your back.

You almost had a pigeon chest. And it was called, yeah, the monobosom girdle or the pigeon breast. Yeah, looking at the silhouette of those times, you are arched at the back and forward in the breast. This is a quote. Bosoms

are beautiful, sexy and feminine. He's all flustered on lingerie week, isn't he? He's seen boobies. There's actually no pictures in my fact of the day paragraph today. Feminism. He's all flustered on lingerie week, isn't he? He's seen burpees. There's actually no pictures in my fact of the day paragraph today. I didn't want to be distracted. They conjured up some images.

He's got a powerful mind. He's got a powerful mind. A bosom's a beautiful, sexy, and feminine. At the start of the century, monobosoms, the single breasts, were a very popular look and considered a prideful way to wear one's breast. Right. Women dress in such a way that they appear to have one large breast almost in a pigeon-like fashion. Wow.

Yeah. So today's fact of the day, and the first fact for lingerie week. I'm excited for the sexy week. The start of the 1900s, the monobosom was the look of the time. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. She moved at the weekend and I'll commend her. She's moved to West Auckland, the best compass direction. Yes, welcome, welcome, welcome.

Carwain. Hello. Yes, speaking. You moved at the weekend. I did. It didn't go flawlessly. Nah, not really. What was the most stressful part?

Trying to do like the jigsaw of putting all the puzzle pieces onto one trailer. Oh, no, that's my favourite. Oh, no, that's the best bit. It's getting it out at the other end that I hate. It's just the lifting. I hate the lifting. It feels like you've done a lot and then you haven't even unpacked. Yeah, and then you sit in the new flat for a good couple of months thinking, I'm really going to move in here soon.

That king storage box has got to go. Yes. I'm going to unpack that or donate it. No, well, I was very lucky because Georgia from the day show and her partner, fiance, sorry, helped me move. How did you get roped into that, Georgia?

Georgia, can you please join us in here? I think Georgia's got a tow bar. She's got a tow bar. Oh, she's got a tow bar. I think Hayme's got a tow bar. Hayme's got a tow bar. Don't worry about shoes, mate. It's not a professional working environment. Oh, my gosh.

Jesus, bro. She's got my knee like something. Happy. Gotta let the dogs out. Yeah. I'll have you know it's my car. Your car's got a tow bar. Yeah, well, because it's Hayme's old one.

So, yeah, there you go. I love a tow bar. I've been roped into this because my old car had a tow bar. And everyone who ever needs a tow bar is like, oh, you've got a tow bar? You're like, yes, I have a tow bar. That's why when I had a tow bar, I cut it off. Yeah, you did.

So friends would stop asking. Cut it off. Rather than unscrewing it, you just cut it off. I cut it off. It took ages to figure out. It was a hacksaw. Yeah, long time. It took all day.

On that hardened steel. It did, it did. So you offered to help the move? I did. Well, I offered and then Carlin kept saying, no, you don't have to, you don't have to. And I was like, nah, you know, I'm going to use that BDE energy, you know?

Yeah. I've been a tow bar, so BDE energy. Yeah. Big. Ball. Ball. Tow bar energy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So you were a very stressful person to apparently work with. Yeah. What? I'm sorry. Carlin came in and was like, oh my God, I wish I hadn't have to apparently work with. Yeah. What? I'm sorry. Someone came in and was like, oh, my God, I wish I hadn't have taken up on it.

Yeah. I did not say that. Well, you did have one complaint, though, didn't you? Yeah. I had a couch that, to get it out the door, you need to take the legs off. And I've moved twice now, so I knew that. But someone was insistent that we didn't need to take the legs off. Right, so you thought you

could do a little shuffle, slide shuffle. Yeah, so we gave it a go. But in the process, something was broken. Was it the leg that you said I should take off in Georgia's leg? What was this, a couch?

Yeah, on my couch. I have to say, it's only because I didn't gym much last week, so my arm muscles were like weak as, because I had to drop it. It doesn't happen that quickly. Well, you dropped it. This is BS. Yeah, she dropped it. Oh, you dropped and broke it.

I did. Well, because Hayne was like, oh, okay, well, I guess we'll try, because you suggested, and obviously he wasn't going to be like, no, I was a simp. Yeah. He does what he's told. He does. So he's got to, you know. Yeah, well, Georgia comes from old Christchurch money,

and they'll have you dead. Quite intimidating. Yeah. Sweaty feet now. Oh, probably be a roared sweaty dogs in here. God. So you've broken her couch. Well, Hayme's gone and fixed the leg, though.

How'd he fix it? Is it fixed enough? Is it home? I forgot it. She didn't even bring it in. So you took the leg, so now she's got a wobbly couch. No, but hey, yay, yay, yay, yay. If we go back a second, I felt bad about the leg.

Took a little percentage off the trailer we hired, told Carolyn this morning. Meanwhile, she's re-moving. They're just shuffling around the house. Broke another leg. I wasn't even there. Oh, my God.-moving, they're just shuffling around the house. Broke another leg. I wasn't even there. Oh, my God. No, no, no.

What is your couch made of? Hang on a moment. It's not the leg that broke. It's like the little stump that attached to the frame. Now, I told Georgia that we broke it, but I don't know who broke it. Yeah, you broke it. Oh, so you could have broken two. Well, hey, get rid of the couch.

Get rid of the couch. How much did you knock off the trailer? This must be nice. She's Well, hey, get rid of the couch. Get rid of the couch. How much did you knock off the trailer? Must be nice. She's like, oh, just get a new couch. Go and just get a new couch. Yeah, easy as. Yeah, yeah. Everyone has old, crushed money, Georgia.

Someone's going to buy it, though. Just chuck it in the marketplace. You get all sorts coming at you for that. No, Absinthe. Broken couch on a marketplace has crazy knocking big energy. It does. Multiple times we've chucked semi-broken fridges out on our front lawn. Gone within an hour.

I just didn't realise how trash she was. She's literally putting out her trash as if it's charitable goods. I want to know if there's anybody listening that's been in this situation. I'd love to take some calls on this. So awkward. When a friend breaks something of yours

or you break something of your friends. Yeah. Because then there's this whole, do I have to pay for it? I've told this story before, about my best friend's mum's engagement ring. I don't think so.

So my best friend's mum's engagement ring. Now the engagement didn't go ahead, but she had the ring. But she kept the ring. Yeah, it was nice. And then Jess was holding it

and showing me and I dropped it and it started rolling. So to stop it, I put my foot on it. I squashed it. Like fold in half. Gets worse. I was like, I'll take it to my friend whose dad is a jeweler.

Then I wrapped it up in a little thing. Lost it. Oh, shit. How good was it if you could squash it? I don't think it was extremely expensive. I just think it was a soft white gold.

I know, terrible. And then not only did I say I'd get it fixed, So you were like, oh, I drop ring, rolling ring, I stop. Yeah.

Oh, no. I was like 12 years old or 13 years old or something and I just went, I will fix. And then just, whoopsie, I lost it.

The SG reenactment over here yeah well that was me as a 13 year old maybe your friend passes you their phone to look at something and you drop their phone

you just drop it and smash it it's always all you borrow like when people borrow borrow clothes I would say the same best friend borrowed a dress of mine

and then returned it with an absolute perfect ciggy burn in it so even even even okay I would love to take some calls 0800 dials at M is our number you can text through an absolute perfect Siggy burn in it. Even? Even.

Okay, I would love to take some calls. 0800 dials at M is our number. You can text through 9696 and then your message. Has someone,

has a friend broken something of yours or have you broken something of your friends? And maybe it led to a friendship breakup or just an argument

over who paid. Like George and Carwin who aren't friends anymore. Although to be fair, Georgia did knock $5 off the trailer hire. $10.

I'll have you know. $10. $10. What kind of couch are you going to buy with $10 there, Carwin? Oh, go crazy. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Well, Georgia broke producer Carwin's couch legs.

But she just shaved $10 off of the trailer fee for Carwin to replace the couch. She was helping her move. We want to know when a friend has broken something of yours or you've broken a friend's thing. Yeah. Had some Instagram responses. Chris said,

I was the one breaking things that reversed my friend's Mercedes into a digger bucket as a lunar driver. Oh my God. Digger buckets. Remarkably hard, actually. You probably wouldn't guess looking at a digger that the bucket's quite hard.

My friend scratched the heck out of my new Green Day CD. And then proceeded to tell me it wasn't her. I girl-mathed hard and bought a Gorman leather jacket.

Is that spinning? Lended to a flatmate for a date and I came back with a rip in the arm and she Girl mathed hard and bought a Gorman leather jacket. Oh, is that spinning? Yeah. Lend it to a flatmate for a date and I came back with a rip in the arm and she said nothing and neither did I. No, you've got to say something. You've got to say something and you've got to take it to a fixer-a.

I changed my friend's phone code and then forgot what I'd changed it to and after a while of trying to get into it, it never worked. It got locked and she lost everything on the phone. Whoopsie daisy. Oh my god. That's heartbreaking. I'd be pissed. I'd be pissed.

You think you're funny, do you? You think you're so funny. Love it. You want to know when you've broken something that belongs to a friend? Mm-hmm. My husband and I were visiting our friend's house. This one just came in. Yep.

Around their marble dining table. Oh, my God. Must be nice. Christ, it's old money. Husband, who's quite a solid unit, leans on the middle of the table to get up, and the whole table snaps like a biscuit. Oh, my God. We don't know if we should laugh or cry.

I offered to pay for it, but our friends wouldn't accept it. Still friends, but we don't see them as much. But also, this is what you've got insurance for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, a solid marble table

shouldn't break a marble. I don't think it was a solid marble table. It sounds like they had a... Veneer. A veneer of marble. A sticker. And they were trying to come across a little fancier than they were,

and your husband exposed them for the fraud that they were. Berend, when did you break something that belonged to a friend? Well, it was actually me that received it. Oh, okay. A friend broke your stuff.

Well, so I had a Mercedes which had a nice white cream interior. Oh, goodness. And my friend was sitting in the back with a Fanta in the cup holder. See, I didn't think people who owned Mercedes Benz's had friends who drank Fanta.

They don't usually go hand in hand. No. Well, we were on a long journey and we just stopped at a Macca's. Show sponsor. Thank you for that. Went to get back in the car And like Hit the Santa

Whilst getting into the car And it went Everywhere across the back And stained all the seats Oh my god So that was lovely But we're still friends We just joke about it

All the time How did you get Did you get it cleaned? Yeah I had to get it Professionally cleaned But the stains are still there It's been a good thing Did you get it cleaned? Yeah, I had to get it professionally cleaned, but the stains are still there. Korea's I'm wrong, but you get fanned around with Mountain Dew.

Isn't that the situation? Yeah, yeah. No, don't go pouring more. You put Mountain Dew on it. It's like red wine, white wine. They bring each other out. Do you know if I, because I've got one of those, what is my bench matter for Micah? Like it's real 90s, my bench.

And when we have drinks like of Aperol, I'll have rings of Aperol on my bench. It's weird how porous that is, eh? It is. But do you know what works best? And I don't know if this would work for you, Berrand, but you get exit mould. That's bleach. And it just bleaches it. No, Berrand, you do not bleach your seats.

But it works on a bench. Maybe find a test patch. Maybe do a test patch. No, don't bleach your seats. In a works on a bench. Maybe find a test patch. Maybe do a test patch. No, don't bleach your seats. In a park you can't do a test patch. Just do it in the little crevice. Maddie McLean's bench is a very porous, open concrete. And remember when we were making our Turkish Delight things,

I had pink food colouring. I was like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, and it got on it. And I was like, bloop, came out. But jeez, I was pretty water-blast that. You're a wiry, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, and it got on it. And I was like, bloop. It came out, but jeez. It was pretty water-blast, that. You're a worry, don't you? Leah, what happened? You had a friend that broke something?

Not so much broke something, I guess, but her son drew on my bonnet with a stone. Oh! No! I love how that hurts so much. Jesus. Did your friend pay for the fixing? Yeah, she did.

We ended up having to go to a panel beater to get it done because he had gone through, like, right down to the bottom where you can't come back from. I'll say it. Little shit. Yeah, little shit. Little shit. My kids just never did so.

Like, you see people are, I left my kid unsupervised, and you come back, and there's just, like, vivid all over the wall. Yeah, no, we didn't do that. Cars scratched or, yeah, that's... Sometimes I wonder if people draw on their own walls for the social media content. Sometimes I wonder. Leah, thank you. Matt,

this is a mate that broke something of yours. Yeah. Actually, $500 marquee that he borrowed for a party, shredded it in the wind because he got too drunk to take it down that night. But he was kind enough to Snapchat me while it was happening,

so I got live coverage of my marquee. Now, Matt, I don't mean to play down your marquee, but it sounds more like a gazebo for $500. Is it a gazebo? It was one of those big large pull-ups with big centre poles and it was...

Okay. But the problem was he did it again to another new marquee that I bought six months later. Well, that's it. Fool me once,

shame on you. See, centre poles... Fool me twice, you can't get fooled again in the words of George Bush. That would be a marquee. Yeah. If it's centre poles.

Yeah, that's marquee. Double marquee. Yep. Yeah. Next time, get a gazebo and you won't Centre Poles. Yeah, that's marquee. Double marquee. Yep. Yeah. Next time get a gazebo and you won't care so much. I have, yeah. I've invested less money.

He also dropped a car back to me that he borrowed missing a rear bumper and then told me that's how he picked it up. Your mate sounds like a nightmare. It sounds to me like it's time to get rid of him.

Yeah, this sounds like a terrible friend, Matt. That's a three-straight policy. He's gone. More messages in. I'm on a photo shoot for work where we That's a three-straight policy. He's gone. More messages in. On a photo shoot for work, we were shooting a multi-million dollar home. The photographer forgot to lock off his camera in the dolly

and the whole thing, it went whoop down to the end of the dolly like a little railway track. You imagine a choo-choo train and the camera on top. It got to the end and went tip and fell over and the camera chipped the piece of one-off bespoke furniture. Rookie mistake. Glue it back on.

Never. Glue it back on. Yeah, just glue it back on. Glue it back on. Back on. Borrowed a friend's van for a road trip to Mangafai. Not sure if it was a mechanical fault or my driving, but it burned to a crisp at the top of Dome Valley.

Worst part, it was relatively new. Found out later they hadn't had a chance to get it insured. Oh, that's on them. Idiots. You get your car insured before you

pick it up. This is coming from me. If your bare minimum of life admin doesn't reach my very low bar,

you've got to re-evaluate. But even I will insure a car before I pick it up. Yeah. From anywhere. Yeah. Quick call to the insurance company.

Yeah. New policy. Beep. They're on the phone like that. They don't want to talk to you when you're making a claim, but boy, if you're getting a new policy. They'll be straight away, right? Yeah, they'll be on the phone as I'm making a claim.

I'll be like, hold on just a minute, and hang up on them and be like, new policy? Yeah, sure. Boy, boy, boy, if I've got a policy? Yeah, sure. Boy, boy, boy, if I got a deal for you, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners,

you've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it.

So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.