ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th September 2024

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

We're washing our clothes too much Shoe liners for airtags Hayleys Big Mac Wrap Top 6 Other things the PM demands of public servants Half of Gen Z wish tiktok wasn't invented Craziest feature you say in someone's house SLP - Who shouts a birthday dinner? Vaughan's car in driveway Shannon's Hacks Have you slept with a married person Fact of the day - Streak week Our bratty video to reality star Friends is 30, Nicole Richie is 43  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fletchvaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletchvaughan and Hayley. Hi. Hi. Hi, everyone.

Guys, it's Tuesday. Good morning. Hi. Do you know what Tuesday means? You're being a bit full on. Actually, we're trying to pull it down a little bit here. Soft start to the show. Guys, I'm excited. It's Tuesday.

You know what that means. I'm excited you're yelling at us. It's Taylor Tuesdays. Win tickets to the end of the Errors Tour. Live in Vancouver with ZM's Taylor Tuesdays. It starts now. Taylor Tuesdays. We're going to do this for Tuesdays, for the next four Tuesdays. We're going to play Taylor Swift songs on Tuesday between 6am and whenever it finishes, I'm assuming tonight.

It's going all day. It's going until the day runs out. That's right. Every time you hear a Taylor Swift song on ZM, 0800DARLSZM, first caller through, we put you in the drawer to see her live in Vancouver, the last show on the Eras Tour, December 8th. Then she needs a holiday. Then I imagine she's going to have a huge holiday.

Knowing her, though, she'll just be like, new album. So once everybody's in the drawer after we do four Taylor Tuesdays, we're going to call somebody back and send them to Vancouver, flying United Airlines, flying nonstop from Auckland and Christchurch to the USA with connections to more than 200 destinations across the Americas. So you've got to be listening for the Taylor Swift songs today on the show. I've got a few planned. Oh, here's one right now.

Here you go. We're going to kick it off now, are we? Yeah, go on. You know what to do. With a classic. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. It's Taylor Tuesday. Narissa, you are the very first person in the draw.

Yay. Yes, congratulations. Have you seen her live before? Have you seen her on the Errors Tour when it was in Australia? Or anywhere in Europe? I actually did get tickets to that show. You lucky little bee. Well, isn't someone just being a greedy little piggy?

Hell yeah. She likes it so much, she wants more. She's trying to double dip the Errors Tour. I was an obstructive view. Oh,. She wants more. She's trying to double dip the Ares tour. I was an obstructive view. Oh, you had a show.

You were sitting behind a pole? Yeah. Oh, no, we can't have that. We can't have that. Well, Nerissa, good luck.

You're in the draw for that final show in Vancouver on the Ares tour. Not behind a pole. Not behind a pole. We can guarantee not behind a pole.

Not behind a pole this one. And if. We can guarantee not behind a pole. Not behind a pole, this one. And if you win, Flying United Airlines nonstop from Auckland and Christchurch to the USA with connections to more than 200 destinations across the Americas. And many, many more songs today and this morning on our show to get in the draw to see Taylor Swift on Taylor Tuesdays. Well done, Nerissa. Next on the show, do you know what I did this weekend? What?

Emptied my washing basket. It overflowethed. With clothes. With clean or dirty clothes? Dirty. Wow. Feral. Scum. I cleaned everything in that basket, but maybe some of it I might not have needed to. I'll tell you why next. Play ZM's. Flash Vaughan and

Hayley. You guys look like twins today. With your dark t-shirts on. Blue jeans, same jeans. Same jeans. Is that a fresh, clean T-shirt? Actually, it is. Is that fresh from the wash? Yeah, because it was on the washing rack.

When I got up this morning, I was like, I'm going to wear that. That's me today. Vaughan, fresh? Always. I only wear a T-shirt once. No, I'll always put a T-shirt unless it's got a visible mark on it. Because we work, what, we get up at 4.30. Yeah.

I'll go home, I don't know, it could be 10 or 11 at the most. I'll be like, I'll put the T-shirt back. Yeah. And then because I go to the gym in my gym gear. Fletch is doing it right. No, I get back into this T-shirt. I change jeans, but I'd probably stay in this T-shirt. Oh, really?

You get all mucky in that T-shirt. That's a work T-shirt. I changed jeans, but I'd probably stay in this T-shirt. Oh, really? You get all mucky in that T-shirt. That's a work T-shirt. But then just wash it. No, you're washing it too much. So this is from a UK washing brand, which you kind of think wouldn't do a study into the fact that we're washing our clothes too much because you'd think that they want you to keep washing your clothes.

So you're using their detergents. To use their detergents. But actually, it's terrible. And it's you to keep washing your clothes. So you're using their detergents. To use their detergents. But actually, it's terrible. And it's not only terrible for your clothes. I'm looking at your T-shirts and I'm thinking it's a rich cotton. We've got 100% cotton in our hands here. And you know what? Vaughan's wearing a faded black T-shirt.

It is slightly faded. You know why? Because he's washing too much. Washed it too much. It's one of my older T-shirts too. You've washed it too much. Whereas Fletch's is nice and fresh because he washes it every second wear. Would you say second wear? Yeah. That's yuck. It's one of my older t-shirts too. You have washed it too much, whereas Fletch is just nice and fresh because he washes it every second wear. We just say second wear?

Yeah. That's yuck. Second? It's not. You don't need to wash them too much. We wash clothes too much and not only is it bad for the clothes, it's terrible for the environment.

Terrible for the environment. Yeah, because you're using water and then you're wasting that water somewhere. You're using water, but also I didn't know this. So if you wash clothes that are made from modern things like synthetic fabrics, Yeah. Washing clothes made from modern things like synthetic fabrics. Yeah.

Washing clothes made from synthetic fabrics accounts for 8% of the microplastics in our waterways. Because it's coming out of the fabric. The plastic is like going into the water from our clothes. And they're like, you really don't need to. Well, as the clothes like wear down. Yeah. Oh, right.

The little bits of plastic in your like polyester, for example, are actually contributing 8% to the microplastics. Didn't they recently cut someone's brain open and find microplastics? Yeah, we got microplastics. Yeah, those get in there. Coursing through us. They just get in. Yeah.

And people are like, we're part of this generation that, or not generation, we're part of this day and age, shall I say, that where people are just washing our clothes after every single wear. But our ancestors never did that. Maybe if some of us smell at the gym. Yeah, exactly. I was recently told I smell.

No, every time. I don't care. It's not your clothes, that's your body. That's your personal body. You're not going to take any risks. I think it was the clothes. You think it was the clothes that stunk? I think that's a few people

messaging me saying you want to give them a soak in the old I hate that when you've got a stinky top. What's the white stuff that's not nappy sand? Vinegar. That's what it was. Sard. Sard. Sard powder. I did. I did. You should put vinegar in.

Vinegar? Michael Finnegan. Michael Finnegan had a Vininiga? Michael Fininigan. Michael Fininigan had hair in it, whiskers on his chin again. Chin again, yeah. Shave them off and grow them in again. Yeah, poor old Michael Fininigan. Poor old Michael Fininigan. If you've got stinky clothes like Vaughan,

who's notorious for his stinky clothes, you could put a cap of vinegar in your wash. Really? It really helps. White vinegar? Malt vinegar or what? Balsamic. Balsamic vinegar. I love thealsamic. Balsamic vinegar.

I love the vinegar ret. I've got a red wine vinegar ret. Yeah, if you've got one of those Paul Newman Italian vinaigrettes, pour that in the wash. What if I've only got salt and vinegar chips? Yeah, that's fine.

That'll work too. Some chips, because the chips will go away but the vinegar will clean the clothes. Play. ZM. Fletchvn and Hayley. Well, I saw this on TikTok.

A woman doing an unboxing. Insoles for your shoes. And there's like, imagine, you know, like an insole for your shoe. I don't insole in my shoes. No. I just trust the insole.

I just buy shoes and I'm like, I'm happy with what's in them. Yeah, I'm like, thank you factory settings. I'll take that. Orthopedic perfection. Yeah, I do. kind of lucky to have orthopedic perfection. Yeah, I do. I think I've got orthopedic perfection.

Privileged to have arches. Yeah, I've got a nice, are you flat arched? No. I'm just relating to people who perhaps are flat arched. Yeah, right. I mean, I wouldn't mind some arch support. Yeah, it would be nice. I wouldn't say no, maybe.

No. Well, anyway, this insole for the shoe has a cutout, a circular cutout. And what can fit perfectly in that circular cutout when you put it into your shoe? Secrets. An ear tag. Ooh. Stalkery. Stalkery, but also like parents are buying these for their kids.

Oh, yeah. We talked about tagging your kids. I don't know if you could tag your boyfriend or your husband like I think he'd see unless you put another insole on top of that. I want to say just looking at this article, I've opened it up. Yeah. There's a woman showing off this new insole with the

cutout. I'm going to say that's about a size 12 men's shoe. Yeah, it's not a kid's shoe. Oh, it's for kids. It's good for tracking your kids when they go to school. That's a big man's shoe. That's a boyfriend tracker right there. But again, AirTags, they beep. They're going off. If an AirTag's following you, it's going to alert you.

Unless you get into... Unless you can sneakily share a thing with them, right? Yeah. Share AirTag with them. Yeah. If you were able to. I don't... What am I going to do?

Track Aaron walking from the house To the garage Yeah The garage to the truck See when he goes to Mitre 10 Truck to the Mitre 10 Mitre 10 to Calendar Girls Sweet

To the champagne room Have fun man Go crazy Back to Mitre 10 Yeah Because he forgot A couple of screws Yeah yeah exactly

It feels Yeah Feels like it's really enabling distrusting girlfriends to track their partners. Because there was that girl that was undoing the tongue on her boyfriend's shoe and slipping one in. Do you remember that? Yeah.

Which is way more sneaky. Can you remind me, because I still haven't bought any, and I need some. What happens when you're away from the device that they're connected to? They ding. They beep. They make like a chirping sound. If they're getting their signal off one device that's not your phone for too long,

it'll alert that phone saying you've got an ear tag within your vicinity and it'll make like a chirping sound. And then you can either be like report or like dismiss vicinity. Yeah, right. And it'll make like a chirping sound. And then you can either be like report or like dismiss it. Yeah. If you know, say it was your partner's ear tag or whatever. Right. Because yeah, Shada gets it if she takes my car, which is a privilege for her to take the

Jimny. Lucky. Lucky girl taking the Jimny because there's one on my keys and one hidden in my car. I'm not going to say where. Hidden in my car. Okay. Really? So I know where the Jimny's at. Because everybody wants to steal a Suzuki Jimny, don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody. They do.

They're hot properties. Yeah. So. I'm amazed to learn yesterday they make it up a mountain. Oh, I know. Are you kidding me? That's the ultimate factory standard four-wheel drive. I was going to go into that group chat and be like, yeah,

but at like 20 kilometres an hour up a mountain. That's the safest speed to go up a mountain. And it would sound like this. Screaming for us like, no, why don't you have a casual stroll

up the mountain? And it'll also be beeping because there's an air tag. I love these two started shit-talking, well, Hayley didn't. Fletch started shit-talking

jimneys to somebody who has a jimney not knowing that they are a jimney fan. We were trying to, if you were trying to roast one. Yeah.

Yeah, I was, well, I stand by my roast. I was amongst my people. I stand by my roast. Yeah. But what was I saying? There's one in your Tim name. Yeah, yeah,

so then she'll get a notification saying an air tag and wherever she's driven it said it was with you for this leg of your drive. Wow. Which if you just had that pop up and you were in your own car.

Oh my God, yeah. It would be terrifying. It would be, yeah. Yeah. Because people do that. They slip. You hear of people overseas trying to take advantage of people. Yeah, slip down here. Walk past them, slip it in a handbag or a bag and then follow them to their

accommodation and rob them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, you've got to be careful. You've got to be careful out there. It's a crazy world. Never, ever. Never, ever trust no one ever. Never. Never ever. Leave. Trust no one ever.

Just never go out. There is nothing more to this than to tell you that I had a delicious dinner last night. A dupe dinner. A dupe dinner. So I went to the Supermarché. Yep. I got some new containers. And I got

a few things, like for a couple of days worth of food. One of which was just some patties. Oh yeah, patties! Man, I tell you what, I haven't heard the tea hitting patties like that. Yes. Because I say just, I roll a soft patty. Now, were they soft patties or frozen?

Because you've got to be careful. A man stabbed himself to death trying to separate frozen patties. What, did he hit him out too or did he go through the packet and into his leg or something? He went through the patty

into his guts, yeah. What a, I think it was in the UK and yes, what a way to go. Moment of silence for him. That's got to be in that awards,

eh? Darwin Awards. Darwin Awards, yeah, for the dumbest way to die. Moment of silence for him. That's got to be in that awards, eh? Darwin Awards. Darwin Awards, yeah, for the dumbest way to die. So I got some patties because sometimes I don't want to make, I can't be bothered with making a whole mince-based dish, but I can't be bothered with a steak, but I feel like a bit of, so I'll just have patties with like salad or like

vegetables or whatever. Do you rip up the patties? Nah, nah, just fry them up like a burger, but don't have them in a burger. Right, you'll just have it on a plate. On a plate. A round. Oh, that's weird. What? A round disk of meat.

That's weird. A round disk of meat is weird. You just have a meat disk. It's like an alternative to a sausage. You've got to make a rissole. No, no. You've got to make your own rissole. No, no.

You can't just eat a patty. Or buy rissole or meatballs. Oh, no. I just patty them. Oh, weird. I just patty them. But yesterday I made these patties, and I following the Slant Food Programme at the moment, as you know from how it takes me an hour and a half to eat my slow oats in the morning.

And so I've got a certain amount of macros to hit and I needed some carbohydrates. So I was like, maybe I'll make a patty wrap. I've got some wraps. A knick-knack patty wrap. A knick-knack patty wrap. Give the girl a bone. That's for after dinner. That's for after.

Anyway, so I was like, I've got a wrap, and I laid it out. And I was like, I've got some patties. And I was like, what else have I got? And I went into the fridge, and I was like, oh, my God. I've got lettuce. I've got pickles. I've got red onion. I've got tomatoes.

I'm going to make a burger wrap. And then I was like, do you know what I'm going to make? Get rid of those tomatoes. I'm going to make a Big Mac patty wrap. Well, that's trademarked. Big Mac patty wrap. You've got to, if you're doing a juke. Did you have the pickle sauce?

I made pickle sauce. You made pickle sauce? Yeah. What with? Mustard. Mayo. Ketchup. A tiny bit of mayo.

Yeah. Paprika. Pickle juice. Worcester sauce. I've made Big Mac sauce before. Did you just give out the secret Big Mac sauce? Is it a secret? They don't have other cool things in it,

but there's like a thousand million Big Mac rip-off sauces, and I've made it heaps of times, so I just made it up. The Whitey's Burger Sauce or like the Cully's Burger Sauce. Yeah, it's pickle-naised and stuff. But most people would have mustard, tomato sauce, and mayo in the fridge, and then some paprika and pickle juice. It was so good.

So I made the Big Mac sauce, and then I shredded the lettuce and I put my patties, which I had put a little bit of cheese on, in the wrap and then I put some onion and I think I did put a little bit of tomato and I wrapped it up and I was like, this won't be as good as a Big Mac. It was pretty close.

Wow. It was. Wait, McDonald's have some competition? Are you kidding? Big Mac patty wrap. Yeah. The Big Mac patty wrap. The Big Mac patty wrap was so

delicious and now I can't go back to any other thing. Any other kind of wrap. You've got to do a patty wrap and you've got to make the Big Mac sauce to make a Hailey Sprouse Big Mac patty wrap. I think it would be better if the patty was ripped up. I actually cut the

patties in half. So I had one and a half patties cut in half and I sort of laid them out like that. I was wondering how you were wrapping around patties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. That wouldn't have worked as well. No, no.

I made them more sort of half moons of patties with cheese, Big Mac sauce, lettuce, onion, tomato. Good from you. It was so good. And a wrap. Oh, and then I lightly, I sealed the wrap in the pan. You know, when you just give it a little toast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It feels awfully close to a burrito. I'm just going to say it feels awfully close to a burrito. Very burrito adjacent. Like there's a bit of crossover there. Because you know that people got obsessed with making the Big Mac tacos. Yeah. Well, this is just like that, but a big one. Because it's a wrap. people got obsessed with making the Big Mac tacos. Yes. Well, this is just like that, but a big one. Because it's a wrap.

It's Hailey Sprouse Big Mac Patty Wrap. Yeah, I can't. What wrap did you use? I think you're running into some legal issues there, if you're going to call it that. It's Hailey Sprouse Big Mac Patty Wrap. TM. Trademarked. I've trademarked it.

Get in line. That's not how it works. I used a Faroes Italian Herbs. It's just what I had. Ew, Italian Herbs. I know, but you could just use whatever you've got. Plain one, whole meal. What's your wrap of choice?

I don't do wraps, but I'd go a plain one. Why don't you do wraps? You feel like you'd be a wrap man. Wraps are great. I don't mind a soft shell. Yeah, that's kind of like. Tiny soft shell tartare. That's a little wrap.

That's a different meal. It's a little wrap. We get those low carb wraps. Yeah, I used to have that. Those rule. Yeah, well, look used to have that. Those rule. Yeah, well, look. Not the keto one. Too many seeds.

Well, I can't wait until McDonald's sue you for copyright. I can't afford that. For trademark. She's not making money off them. She's only feeding herself. What if I call it a big, big, big back patty wrap? Because if you eat it and you go to the gym, you're going to get a big back. Big back. Big back patty wrap. Because if you eat it and you go to the gym, you're going to get a big back. Big back.

Big back patty wrap. Play. Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Wow. He hath spoken.

Daddy said. What is happening? Daddy said. Public servants happening? Daddy said. Public servants are back to the office working from home. Not an entitlement. Oh, this is the Prime Minister, not your daddy. Not daddy. Okay.

He was nation's daddy. Oh, the country's daddy. Okay. Stepdad. Yeah, he's my stepdad. I feel like a lot of, like, our workplace said it a long time ago. Everybody back to work. I love having people in the office.

Me too. I think it's great. I don't. I think there was one of the things that they said was, like, the workplace culture is dying and people aren't able to, like, learn from each other. Wellington was so dead. Well, I think that was the idea.

I think that was the thing on the news last night when I saw the story. It was that, like like Wellington Cafe owners and stuff are like we're kind of really struggling but I think worse than COVID they've said yeah

but then if even if public servants go back to work I don't think they're going to be spending like they were well they have also fired a lot of them

yeah I know the numbers of them have dwindled significantly and the Prime Minister can blame working from home for that but I'd be pointing fingers at David Seymour

now we're not here to be political. But I'm saying, even if they all go back, people aren't spending money like they were. Well, yeah, people are struggling. You know, mortgages are still insane. And if you're a public servant and the government is literally saying, there's more fat to trim, you're not going to be spending because you're going to be like,

what if next week I'm the fat that gets trimmed? I need to have a little kush for the push. We love a bit of kush for the push. Yeah, we love kush for the push. Yeah. Big fan of kush. Well, today. For the push. We love a bit of Kush for the push. Yeah, we love Kush for the push. Yeah. Big fan of Kush. Well, today's top six. The top six other things that PM is demanding of public servants.

Okay. Because he's their boss. Yeah. He's their daddy. Because he's the top of the food chain for the public. He is a public servant. Technically. Number six on the list.

Shine his shoes and call him master. Oh, I don't know if he's going to do that. Do you want a job or not? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I need a job. Shine his shoes and call him master. Okay. I don't know if he's going to do that. Do you want a job or not? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I need a job. Number five on the list. Do not look at him directly in the eye and never cast an eye on his wife.

Oh, but those arms. We've got to look at the arms. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've got to look at those arms. Good arms. Release the workout. Yeah, she does need a release. Yeah.

Was that Michelle Obama? She released the workout of the arms. Yeah. First lady workout. Yeah, first lady workout. What we need. Number four on the list of the top six other things the PM demands of public servants. Socks pulled up and skirts longer than the knee.

Oh. Yeah. But I like wearing little mini skirts to work. Well, you're not allowed to do more No Number three on the list of the top six other things that a PM demands of public servants None of them are allowed to have hair anymore

Oh because they're all going to be bald like him Buzz cuts Which is fine I think that's fair It's getting very North Korea-ery It's got a Korean feel to it doesn't it Number two on the list of the top six other things PM demands of public servants.

He wants to know all their passwords. Oh, no. All of them. So he can log in. Mine's naughty, though. Well, I'd change it before you let him know. You're also not a public servant, so you're okay. It's Luxton, Luxton, Wanner.

Oh, goodness me. Yeah, yeah. Goodness me. You're about to be fired. And number one on the list of the top six other things the Prime Minister demands of public servants. None of them are allowed to be taller than him. Oh, yeah. He likes them small and bald.

It's Tom Cruise. It's Tom Cruise syndrome. Oh, yeah. Like no casting someone bigger than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Cruise doesn't want... Or he wants an Apple box. Another Henry Cavill situation.

Yeah. Where Henry Cavill's got to crouch and Tom Cruise has got to be on stilts. Yeah. To measure up to what might be the most perfect man that ever was born in right now. Delicious. Henry Cavill for Prime Minister. Oh my God. Yeah.

I'll obey the law. Oh my God. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to do. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. It's Taylor Swift on ZM. Win tickets

to the end of the Errors Tour. Live in Vancouver with ZM's Taylor Tuesdays. Kerry, you are the second person in the draw

to see Taylor Swift on the Errors Tour in Vancouver. Oh my God. Hey. Congratulations. Have you managed to catch her live before on the Eros show or any of the previous? Oh, no, not yet.

Okay, wow. So this would be your first ever Taylor concert. That should be it. It would be the last chance. Okay. I know. Good luck. We've got four Taylor Tuesdays, and then we're going to pick one lucky winner who gets to

go with a friend to Vancouver, flying United Airlines. They're flying nonstop from Auckland and Christchurch to the USA with connections to more than 200 destinations across the Americas. So many more chances today on Taylor Tuesday to go in the draw. Keep listening for those Taylor Swift songs. TikTok. And I tried.

I did try because I know that TikTok was sort of supposed to come in and replace Instagram. But you're an Instagram girl. Yeah, I know. I love Instagram. You love your reels. I love my reels. But I did have a go on TikTok because everyone said it was the cool thing to do.

Well, you tried to be a TikToker and it lasted two videos, didn't it? It's just hard. It's just hard. It's a lot of effort. It's hard to cut through. But if TikTok is defined by any generation, it's Gen Z, right? They lap it up. They love it.

They are the TikTok generation. Well, apparently, according to a new survey out of America, that's my perfect American accent I learned at drama school, the National Drama School. How much did you pay for that again? $38,000. Do it again. That was really good.

Now, apparently, according to a new survey outside of America. That's good stuff. How's that acting work going at the moment? Well, I'm not getting a lot of work out of the States, which is kind of crazy given how much work I've put into this accent. You sound like that guy that used to review me, sit in his car and like review food. Curries and such. Do you remember that guy?

I am today eating a butter chicken. Butter chicken with a garlic naan. Garlic naan. Well, according to a new survey out of the US, half of Gen Z's wish that TikTok had never been born, which is one of the most dramatic Gen Z things to say. Because they're so addictive. It's addictive, right?

It's addictive. The addictive nature of social media and smartphones. They themselves love it so much, but they're aware of the impact that it's having on their lives. They're chained to it. Even Instagram Reels, I'm so aware and you guys will send me some Reels, but I'm not on there

all the time. I am. I stop myself. I'm like, no, and I don't have TikTok. It's honestly so good. I really love flicking through some reels, and I totally get that, yeah, it's addictive, and it's not really giving me what I think that it's giving me. It's the before bed that ruins everybody. Yeah, I know.

I was doing that yesterday. I hopped into bed really early. This was my opportunity to have an early night. Aaron had a friend around around and I was like, right, I'm going to get into bed early and get ahead. And I was on reels and I was like flipping, flicking and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I put it

down. And then before you knew it, it was 11 o'clock. No, no, no, no, no. I put it down because I was like, this is, it's going to be 11 o'clock soon. You know what I mean? In my head, I'm going to keep going. So I put it down and I put it on a podcast. Horny book. Okay. Podcast horny book. Okay, right.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, look, the rentals are nearly finished. So many people keep asking, is your house finished yet? Is your house finished yet? It doesn't work like that. It doesn't all go to plat. At least it came in under

budget. Why would you say that? Why would you even bring up money? Why would you say that? I don't know. No, but seriously, we're nearly finished. Honestly, if you're thinking about renovating, just don't. Oh my god. Some of our friends on the weekend were like, oh, we want to renovate. And I had

a couple of drinks and I was like, don't do it. Run for the hills. Anyway, it's nearly finished and one of the last rooms and I had a couple of drinks and I was like, don't do it! Yeah. Run for the hills. Anyway, it's nearly finished and one of the last rooms that had to be done was the middle room, the spare room. I'd say the guest room. Yeah. It was the guest room.

And I guess if you had a kid, you'd put it in there. Yeah. Or maybe that small one at the front, as far away from me as possible. Yeah. Anyway, and it one at the front, as far away from me as possible. Yeah. Anyway, and it's a bit, it's a kind of a long room and it's like this dark navy colour and we wanted a way to make it a little bit special.

And then we were looking at wallpaper and whatnot and then we decided to do a wallpaper mural. And you can go on, there's lots of websites that do it. You can go on these websites and you can choose like artwork by artists, Picasso even. Yeah, right. Monet. And you can choose a painting and they'll print it to the size you want

and you wallpaper it on your wall. And so you've got this big, massive piece of art. So ours is like probably three metres tall by two and a bit metres wide and it's this massive art mural called Death and Life by an artist called Gustav Klimt and

it's got, it's quite an odd, I've got a big picture of it. It's not contemporary, is it contemporary? Well it's from 1904 so it is kind of almost modern. Yeah. 1904? Did you think it was older?

No. No, I thought it would have been newer. I thought it was newer. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was a little bit younger. I actually, I love it. Frida Kahlo. Yeah.

I love it. It looks like something you'd see on the wall of a Mexican restaurant. Yes. Yeah, very much. Because it's got a skull. It's got death. Because it's called Death and Life. It's got death because it's called death and life. It's got death which is the skull figure

who's death and he's coming for life which is a picture of like some lovers, a grandmother, a baby. Who is naked? The mother.

Babies are often naked. Yeah, the mother who's also naked. There's a boobie. There's a boobie on the mum and that's sort of depicting life. Yeah. And it's a lot. It's a boobie. There's a boobie on the mum. And that's sort of depicting life. And it's a lot.

It's a lot. How does it work? Because I saw the application and the guy, was that a wallpaper man? Yes, that's Les from the block we call him because he was the blocks wallpaper. I tell you what, that was watching him in your story was art. I wanted a whole video of him applying wallpaper

because I've only ever seen my mates applying wallpaper and it's junk and it comes apart at the seams later on. story was art. I wanted a whole video of him applying wallpaper because I've only ever seen my mates applying wallpaper and it's junk and it comes apart at the seams later on. It was incredible. Like he folds it down and then you've got to let the glue, and you pull it, you manipulate it. It's really like, it was pretty amazing to watch. I did put it up on my at Mill Cottage Reno Instagram page if you want to have a look at it.

Yeah, if you want to see what this mural that we're talking about, because you might have an image in your mind it's nothing like you imagine I'm sure yeah yeah yeah it's insane and there's a few people that message being like

oh my god who's going to sleep in that room I was like all my guests or like who's going to buy this house when you finish with it

yeah I know so many people are saying that about our house being like oof yeah a lot of personality in there yeah a lot of colour not easy to see

it's like the house on the block the people aren't building it to win the block. They're building it because they love the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it doesn't make as much money at auction. They're like, what went wrong? I know.

But the thing is, it's like this house is for us. Yeah, totally. It's awesome. I wish, whenever we've renovated, I remember we were bold enough once to go for a light grey wall. Whoa. And I said, that's a bold wall choice. And I was like, is it?

It's great. If you had your way, there'd be a Millennium Falcon poking out the side wall. That's a great idea. His head's ticking. That's a great idea. Yeah. Like if you were single and had a bachelor pad,

it would have a giant Millennium Falcon hanging from the ceiling. Yeah. My bed would be a race car. Yeah. It would be Lightning McQueen. I'd have a king-size Lightning McQueen racing car bed. I just think it's really interesting when you, because I'll buy like New Zealand house and garden.

Yeah. And the houses that are in there, they've got these really like individual features or like kind of odd things that people will put in. And I love it. I'm always like, that's great. We're not renting these. Oh, I am technically renting it off the bank.

This is what we wanted to ask you this morning. What's the craziest feature you've seen in someone's house? Like, did they have a giant portrait of themselves from floor to ceiling? Or one of those amazing like pool lever thing and a wall switches around and then it's like a bar or something or a trap door or like a secret library. We're in an Airbnb in the Coromandel and under the rug there was a hatch

and it went into a wine cell. That's right. I've been in somebody's house who had one of those and I said, what's down there? He's like, oh, it's my cellar. I was like, and he's like, it's not on the plans and we don't tell the council. But do you remember a few years ago There was that woman in the UK Who put on a slide from upstairs to downstairs

And she was like, because this is my house And that's how I choose to get around Yeah, I do what I want, it's my house Maybe it was something cool But maybe it was also something quite ghastly Like a big artwork As a child, I always thought When I grew up and became an adult

I would have a train that ran around my house, like a little train. It was my dream. It ran over head. Yeah. And you could pop things on it. And you'd theme it like if it was Christmas, it would come back and it would have snow on it.

Yeah. And if it's Easter, it would be carrying little Easter eggs. It's not too late for them. Snacks. You've got a high start. You could put that thing up there. I totally could.

You absolutely could. Don't tell Sade that I encouraged this. No. Okay, we want to take your calls you. Don't tell Sade that I encouraged this. No. Okay, we want to take your calls now. 0800 dials at Amazon number. Text through 9696. What is the wildest or craziest feature you've seen in someone's house? Someone text him.

People who don't have kids are weird. You're in the wrong place, my dude. You're out of a ruled-in studio. Give us a call. We want to know the wildest or weirdest feature you've seen in a house. Have you had any

immediate feedback on your post that you put up? People love it. People loving it? Yeah, they love it. Life and death is the...

Death and life. Death and life. Yeah, yeah. Is this the... This is the guest room I'll stay in if I am drinking at yours

and don't want to get an $80 Uber home. Correct. Yeah, it's dark, isn't it? get an $80 Uber home. Correct. Yeah, it's dark, isn't it? Yeah, it's a lot. Waking up in that room with a hangover. Yeah, with a skull sort of staring over you. Yeah.

Ah, you'll be all right. Well, we've asked the crazy features you've seen in someone's house. We asked on Instagram too and had quite a few responses. Tony said, we went to an open home and it had a dungeon. And the stair wall, and on the stair wall on the way down to the dungeon was a full price list of tricks. Tricks. So do we think there's some sort of dominatrix who owned the house maybe?

And that's where they took their clients. But you'd have people knocking on your door when you moved in. There's tricks here. I would convert that sex dungeon into a Dungeons and Dragons dungeon. Well that's just as sexy. That's just as sexy. Aisha said

we went to a place where the oven, this isn't just like weird, this is just something she was, and I kind of get it because I'd like to see this too, an oven where the door opens you know how you open the oven door and it's 90 degrees to the oven? Yeah. And then the door slid under the oven.

So you didn't need to reach over the door to get something out of a wall-mounted oven. Oh. Reduce the risk of burning. Meow. Wouldn't there be a giant hole under your oven? I think the door may have hung over and went into the oven itself. You know who would have designed it? Germans. Germans, yeah. have designed it? Germans.

Germans, yeah. It's got mele, mele, mele written all over it. It does. Stacey,

what's the craziest feature you've seen in someone's home? Hi, so when I was a kid and I used to go and stay with my nana in the school holidays and she would take me

to her friend's house and in the middle of her friend's lounge was a rug that was a real polar bear. Like the main part of the rug, which was like the, I don't know, the back and the tummy folded out of the skin was all flat, but the pores in the head were taxidermied. Oh, my God. So in the middle of their lounge was just a a polar bear wow hayley would loves taxidermy you would one thousand percent have one of these oh god it would it feels a bit off a being a polar bear but yeah maybe i mean if it's vintage what

are we gonna do we're gonna put in the bin yeah what a waste what are we gonna do it's already there yeah were these people like really rich or something? Was it a mansion? No, it was just a normal old house in Timaru. A normal old house in Timaru with a polar bear rug. Amazing. That was their house, you got it. Whatever heavy it would be like to plop the head on your head

and like wear it like a cape. You'd just look so badass. You'd look so cool. You would look cool. Stacey, thank you. More messages in. We went to a place where there was a hole in the kitchen floor under the table where you drop your food scraps because the chickens lived under the house.

Oh, get off. I've heard that's an old school. If you keep chickens under your house, it like reduces your rodents and they eat like insects and stuff. Oh, okay. You can keep that under the side of your house. Yeah, but then you've got a hole in your house. Or it's a trap door. You're about to hear them through the floorboards. Oh, okay. You can keep it under the side of your house. Yeah, but then you've got a hole in your house. Or it's a trap door.

You're bound to hear them through the floorboards. Yeah. You know that little chirping they do? You just hear it under your feet. A sauna in the living room. But it was just big enough for one. Oh, those single people sauna. Yeah, sauna people are odd. Yeah, Finland. You heard that. Yeah, you're odd.

You don't get a lot of sun. Leave them alone. A giant shoe-shaped bath. Shoe-shaped? That's a foot person, eh? A shoe-shaped bath? Yeah. I'm a foot.

I don't get it. I'm a dirty little foot. Wait, I imagine it was a horseshoe bath. Oh, no, I was imagining a shoe-shoe. Oh, the bath is a shoe. A shoe-shoe. Is that what you imagined? I was imagining a shoe shoe. Oh, the bath is a shoe. A shoe shoe. Is that what you imagined? I was imagining like a toe and then a heel.

Yeah, yeah. Like an insole of a shoe, that's the shape, like a bit of a jelly bean, kidney bean. Oh, no, there are bathtubs that look like... Stilettos. Shoes. Like shoes. Oh, yeah, I've seen those.

That's yuck. That's yuck. My auntie and uncle used to have an indoor spa. The whole house smelled of chlorine. Yuck. Indoor spa. Somebody said, I went home with a guy and got to his room and he had a spa in the middle of his bedroom.

I was like, no. I reckon that guy's bringing home too many women. That's damp. That's a damp room. Yeah. Imagine the steam going up into the roof. Floor to ceiling, pink carpet in the bathroom. They loved carpet in the bathroom.

My grandparents had carpet in the bathroom. Same. Such an unusual choice. And then you get out of the bath and you squish into it. Yuck. Pirate ship in the middle of their pool. I'm on board. Oh, my God.

My godfather had a pirate ship in the middle of his pool He had it in there for his grandkids Yeah it had like cannons and slides and stuff Very wealthy man

One of the cool laundry shoots that sucks dirty clothes straight to the laundry Love that I want to slide down one of them Mum and dad

have a suit of armour in the entrance to their house Oh that's cool It's very British Saw someone with taxidermy once. It was gross and creepy. That's from someone whose username is BigfootHuntersNZ.

You'd think that'd be all about taxidermy. Then themselves would like to hunt the Bigfoot. Yeah. Wow, shots fired at Hayley, though. Shots fired. I love taxidermy. There was a dominatrix outfit hanging in the wardrobe during an open home.

You've got to check the wardrobes in an open home. You want to know what sort of state they're in. Oh, my God. Borderhouse never thought to look under the beds. They didn't carpet under them. What? Lots of blank bed carpet spots. What?

You simply must carpet under the bed. You just carpeted around the bed? That's absurd. A full frontal nude portrait of the mum in the living room. She had two sons. And I saw this when I was age 11. Oh my gosh. Saloon doors into the toilet from the bathroom.

That used to be a thing. The swinging doors, if your toilet came off your bathroom, they'd just separate it with just a swinging door. I guess they were like, well, anyone in here, you're in here. Yeah, it doesn't matter. But why swinging doors?

There was a radio that looked like a pair of breasts. One nipple was the tuner and the other nipple was the volume. Incredible. I hope that someone right now is listening to us in the kitchen. On a breast radio. On a breast radio. A life-size wedding photo of them in their tiny house. They're living in a tiny house. Life-sized. Yeah, so they had the wedding photo of them in their tiny house. They're living in a tiny house. Life-sized?

Yeah, so they had the wedding photo blown up. They would take up one entire wall of the tiny house. I don't really get it. What? Why you would want that of yourself? I don't know. I can't explain these things. People are weird.

People are weird. People are really weird. We owned a house with a tavern on the top floor. A tavern. Must be nice. That would be tavern up the top, dungeon down the bottom. Cool house. Oh.

That would be a cool house. That's when Sade leaves, I reckon. It's Taylor Swift. It's Taylor Tuesday on ZM. Rosie, you've never seen Taylor live. Hi. Hi. You've never seen her? you've never seen Taylor live. Hi. Hi. You've never seen her?

No, never seen her live, but I've been a huge fan ever since debut came out. I'm one of her OG fans. Oh, we love this. Good luck. You are in the draw to see her live, the final show of the Aerostore in Vancouver, December 8th. Good luck. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much, guys.

Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Flights as well. Flying United Airlines here flying nonstop from Auckland and Christchurch to the USA with connections to more than 200 destinations across the Americas. Loads more chances today as well to get in the draw. It is so silly, silly, silly that silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Do you remember when we started doing silly little pole and we had a long intro and a short intro?

Yep. And that's the long intro, but now it feels short. How short would the short one feel? I don't know. I think it was just silly little pole. And I reckon we should make a longer one. A longer one and just every now and then play a full one. This gives us time to go make a coffee. It starts ding ding ding

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. I think it's fine. Yeah, me too. We should make that the medium one. Yeah, make it the medium. Alright, silly little Paul today is who pays for birthday dinner or drinks or if you're going out for someone's birthday

because I saw someone and maybe workplaces are slightly different but I saw someone who was expected to do like a work shout for their birthday. No.

Like after work drinks and you're expected to like at least start with the first round. No, the workplace pays. I feel like if you, like when I threw a 30th, I put a starting amount on the bar, just a little.

I think it was like 500 bucks or something. Must be nice. I know. And then the rest of the night, like up to you. Yeah. We went out for a friend's birthday on Saturday night. We didn't buy him our thing. We literally didn't even show him a single drink.

We didn't show him a single drink, did we? No, we all just paid our own way the whole night. But it was our company that was the present. Was it not? And boy, what a gift. Your presence was the present. What a gift. Our presence was the present.

It was a gift. I'm sure Mike feels that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, wow, I'm so lucky to have these two here on my birthday. Well, who pays on a birthday? 6% said the birthday person shouts. Yeah. But then, is it different? Because I can always remember going

out for like my grandad's birthday and there was a big rigmarole on who was going to pay. No, no, no, you sit down, we're paying. And he'd always sneak away and pay on his birthday. Yeah. And 94% of people said the group shouts. The group shouts the birthday boy or girl. It's the way.

It's the way to go. I just got a text message to start things off. This just came in. I'm an early childhood educator. I work at a centre that said we had to provide a morning tea on our birthday. On that particular day, I had the last break and there was nothing left for me. The birthday girl who bought everything for this morning tea shout. I had a cry.

Oh, my God. You turn up and there's no bloody hundreds and thousands biscuits left. Yeah. And somebody else said at our old workplace, we had to provide morning tea for the whole office on our birthdays. No way. Get out of the house. No way. Yeah, and probably for a company that makes millions of dollars a year.

I'd bring a bag of mandarins and be like, go crazy. If I go, some feedback on it, Josh said if I go out and have to pay for a cent of my birthday dinner, there'll be a whole new group of and be like, go crazy. If I go, some feedback on it, Josh said, if I go out and have to pay for a cent of my birthday dinner, there'll be a whole new group of people at the next birthday dinner. Josh has spoken. That's fair. That's fair. Oh, okay.

Berend. A name I've never heard before. Maybe you missed out the O. Brendan. No, it's B-E-R-E-N-D. Berend. Berend. Like Brenda. It could be Brenda. It's Brenda without an A on-R-E-N-D. Brend. Brend. Like Brenda. It's Brenda without an A on the end with an E after the B. Brend. Okay.

I'm most likely outnumbered in this poll, but I paid the bill for my latest birthday dinner, and to say the least, I've never seen my friends so offended in my life. They demanded the waiter for the bill so they could work it out how much they owed me, but I didn't accept their money. I'm simply returning the favour for

my family and friends being at my birthday dinner. Wow. I want a friend like Berend. Berend is a true friend. And then it gets to my birth and I'm like, remember how we're friends? And then I make them pay for my dinner again. Yeah, fair enough. Also, it annoys me when you find out at the

end of dinner that you're being shouted dinner, because if I was being shouted dinner, I would have got the most expensive thing. That's why if you plan on shouting dinner, if you plan on shouting dinner for friends or anyone... Go just before payday and don't tell them. No, but you never tell them, because then they order more. If they think they're paying, they're responsible ordering. They're not going to get a cocktail after a cocktail

after a cocktail after the steak after some starters and the duck fat potatoes. She just said the magic word. Duck fat potatoes. Oh, he's dancing. His hips are going. That's like the sleeper waking up word for it. What do they call that?

The trigger? The Russian sleeper cell agent has been awoken by his trigger word. Duck fat potatoes. Sorry, guys. After I finish this dance, I've got to go kill the president. Oh my god, how good. I think I've got some duck fat in my freezer. In the freezer?

Yeah, you can keep it in the freezer for ages. I bet it stays forever in the freezer. Fresh. Yum. Okay, and back under. Imogen said duck fat. Yeah, he's back. It's like we've hypnotised him What are we millionaires

Says Imogen Everyone pays for their own meal Those feeling flush Can shout the birthday Muppet a drink Yeah I like that Or table fries Yeah

I'll get fries to the table That's pretty bourgeois When the first time You can be like I'll get the fries If you were sharing it Yeah I'll get the fries Yeah I love doing that What have we got What have we you could be like, I'll get the fries if you were sharing it. Yeah. I got the fries.

Yeah, I love doing that. What have we got? What have we got? What do we share? I'll get a fries. Steph said, in the UK you have to supply your own birthday cake at work and that to me is one of the highest insults of humanity.

Yeah, that's absolutely wrong. That is so cocked. That's so like, morning tea maybe, but like, we're like, we want to celebrate your birthday. You must provide the most central thing to the celebration.

It's like cakes. Groups shout that my partner is Russian and it's super common for the birthday person to pay. Oh, don't say duck fat potatoes to him. He may wake up. Did you just say? I'm going to kill everybody. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play ZM Yesterday afternoon I was

Having some swift ablutions Okay In the middle of the afternoon I was taking a poo Oh Vaughan And I got a notification. Does that have anything to do with this story? Yes. Okay. Kind of.

So I'm on the toilet. He's painting a full picture. I get a notification. I wasn't painting a picture with it. With his poop. Please. Have some decorum. What next? Marrying your dog? We've decided that's the new show. The thing we're going to yell about.

When anything outrageous happens, you have to say, what's next? Marrying your dog. So I'm enjoying my swift ablutions, playing my game, last war. You shouldn't sit on the toilet too long. I know I shouldn't. And the doctor told me that before I've been. I've been and I've had a finger up there before

and he told me that the problem is I sit on the toilet for too long. And now he continues to sit on the toilet for too long. I got a notification on our security camera saying a vehicle was detected on the driveway. I was like, it'll be a courier trapping off something that Shardo's more... A dress or a nanny bang. And I look and it's not.

I was like, that's not the courier's van. And then I open up that camera and my other camera on the front. That's right, I'm camera'd up. Wow. I'm camera'd up. Just try to rob him. I see you. I see you from all angles.

I open up the other camera and the car, you guys know our driveway, long. Yeah, it's a long driveway. It's got a little landing strip. Yeah, it does down the middle. It's a Brazilian. It keeps it trim. Yeah, it keeps it trim,. Yeah, it does down the middle. It's a Brazilian. It keeps it trim. Yeah, it keeps it trim, but there's a strip down the middle. And then it turns, and that's where you can see the front of our house.

The car turns and sees my car there and immediately stops, backs around and goes back out the driveway. Wait, was your gate open? Yes. Why was your gate open? The gate is broken. Oh, that's right. Yeah. The gate itself is broken, not the thing that drives it. See, it's right outside your house.

They come right down our driveway. And you're on the toilet, so you can't get out. My cars, usually I put the chimney in the shed. Yeah. But the chimney was because I got home and I needed the swift ablution, so I- It was that swift. Went in. Right.

And Sade was in the lounge, and I watched this car on the camera pull in, back around, and drive out. After a little bit of a look-see, like they pulled in, back around, out they go. And I said to Sade,

who's that? I rang her from the Swift Ablution. Oh, for God's sake. She's like, where are you? I said, it's currently evacuating my... Abluting. Bell and Colin. I said, who was that in the driveway?

She's like, I didn't hear or see anything. And I sent her the security camera footage off the app. Yeah colon. I said, who was that in the driveway? She's like, I didn't hear or see anything. And I sent her the security camera footage off the app. Yeah. And I said, do you know that car? And she's like, no. I was like, queer, I said. How awfully queer. How awfully queer.

How awfully queer. How awfully queer. She's like, maybe they just got the wrong house or blah, blah. I was like, these things do happen. Did they look nefarious? I couldn't see faces. All I could see was some high vis. So I'm like, that might have been a trade era.

No, that's a thing. So then literally 10 minutes later on Facebook, on the local page, someone puts up the exact same car, exact same number plate, but the person, they said they weren't home. The person opened their gate, came in, got out. They're casing. They're casing joints. They're casing your house. Boy, I'm like, yep, they weren't home. The person opened their gate, came in, got out. They're casing. They're casing joints.

They're casing your house. Boy. I'm like, yep, they were just here. And I upload a screen cap and the person's like, all right. Which community page is this? Is this one the big one with all the regions around us? Yeah, it's got lots of slashes and different areas and different neighborhoods and stuff. Yeah, and so it popped off.

It was one of those super sleuth moments. Yeah, nice. I just want to have a look at this. Yeah, and so it popped off. We were doing, it was one of those super sleuth moments. Yeah, okay. It looks a lot like this car that stole my partner's ute. That looked nothing like that car. So I said, no, look at that number plate. Look at this number plate. Car jammed them both. Love car jamming.

Anytime I see a car acting a little bit suspicious. Or when you see a nice Land Rover. Do you pay? Yeah, Rover. Do you pay? Yeah, yeah. Do you pay for car jam? No, you can get free. And it just says what make and model of the car it is. And if the police have got an interest in it.

It'll say like stolen or reported to the police for suspicious activity. Right, okay. So there was none of that. So that was on the car that the other person said, it looks like this car to which I said, no, that's a Toyota Mark X. This was not. This was a people mover. And someone said, oh, yeah, they were at my house last week

and put up another photo. Same three people, same gear. Someone's like, they're definitely case joints. So we reported it to the police. And what's happened? And they're on the police's. The police are like, we're on it. We'll keep an eye out for them.

Anybody else, please report. Did you ring 911 or did you ring the- No, somebody else took care of that. Somebody else took care of that. What's the other number? You were on the Swift Ablutions. You were on Swift Ablutions. 10-5.

10-5. It's not 911. It's 111. That's a 111 to me. That's- Get out there and find them. They're right outside your house. They're casing the area.

Do you reckon- I'd get Police Eagle out there, take the helicopter. Do you reckon get the Eagle up? Yeah, get the Eagle up. I'd find them, yeah. Mate, I'd love to get the Eagle up. So they're out there sussing-

If the police are listening, can I please come for an Eagle? Would you guys like to go for an Mate, I'd love to get the eagle up. So they're out there sussing. If the police are listening, can I please come for an eagle? Would you guys like to go for an eagle? I'd like to go for an eagle. Yeah, I want to use the infrared. What if we see a criminal? I want to use the electromagnetic pulse gun that I know you've got on there. They don't have one of those to shoot the cars to make them not

work anymore. That's not a thing that they have. That's not a thing. What about the gun they've got on board that makes the handbrake go on? That doesn't, again, that's not a thing. Sounds like it should be though. But's not a thing. That's not a thing. What about the gun they've got on board that makes the handbrake go on? Again, that's not a thing. Sounds like it should be though. But that's a good warning because people wear high-vis in case people's places to rob them.

Because the meter readers, they just walk onto your property in their high-vis. They have meter reader written on this and they'll have the logo of the company. Totally, but if you weren't checking because whenever I see a meter reader I'm always like, hey, and they're like, just here to have a meter reader written on this, and they'll have the logo of the company. Totally. But if you weren't checking. Yeah. Because whenever I see a meter reader, I'm always like, hey. And they're like, just here to read a minute. And I'm like, you read it. Man, that's ballsy from people during the day, eh?

Especially up a very private driveway. Everybody's got cameras now. Yeah. Like, the number plate, got it. Yeah. The other person literally had all, because one person got out of the car, and they were like, this is them. Full face.

And then the two people who were in the front were like crouching, looking full face there too. Wow. Good. Oh yeah, the community was good. It was good. It was man, the amateur sleuth. It was popping off. I love that.

I can't wait for the update. Yeah. Well, that was the thing. After they pulled out of the driveway, I saw them drive past again. Oh really? Did you call the police? No, because this was when it was all ongoing. Right.

Okay. Oh yeah, I would have called them and been like, they're here now. They're here now. And use the electromagnetic gun. Did you call the police? No, because this was when it was all ongoing. Right, okay. You should have followed them. They're here now. And use the electromagnetic gun. Citizens erect. I've got one. I've got an electromagnetic gun. I said citizens erect.

No, that's different. Citizens arrest. You could have followed them. That would actually make a citizens erect. I might get a citizens erect after doing a citizens arrest. You know, I get excited by these citizens. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Today could be the day that producer Shannon gets five stars max for Shannon's arrest. You're not getting excited by this. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Today could be the day

that producer Shannon gets five stars max for Shannon's hacks. And if she does, we will give her her very own jingle. We're getting very close to cancelling this segment.

Yeah, it's wearing, it's, we're really not getting closer to a five star hack, Shannon. But, today could be the day. Yes. I've got one to help out Vaughan specifically.

Okay. But anyone who creates content and lives on a farm slash farmland. Okay. Niche hack. Very specific. Really niche. But I'm helping out Vaughan here. And I'm worried, Shannon, because you don't live on a farm or a farmland.

No. Probably not really touched dirt in my life, to be fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a city girl in a farmland. No. Probably not really touched dirt in my life, to be fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a city girl in a city world. But I have a hack for Vaughan to help you create content on the farm. I noticed you've been filming a lot more. And one essential part of filming content is stability of camera. You know, you don't want it to be all shaky and stuff.

So you can buy a gimbal and they cost anywhere from $200 to $400. Those are the things that automatically kind of balance it. I bought one and I've used it like twice. Exactly. They're complicated. They're expensive. The new iPhones have them already built in. Well, I've got a cheaper way to do this,

whether it's not buying a new iPhone or a gimbal. Right. Vaughan, you have chickens. I do. Who are famously gyroscopic. My hack for you. You can move them and their famously gyroscopic. My hack for you. Oh, yes. So you can move them and their head doesn't move.

My hack for you. Is that why? Yeah. Most birds are. Are they? Yeah, because they run, but they've got their heads. Lots of animals are because they move so much, but their heads are. And their eyes are on different sides of their head.

Is that right? It's got something to do with it? Yeah. Why aren't we gyroscopic? Because when I run, my brain's like... Like rattling around in there. My hack for you, tape your phone to your chicken's face. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Have you ever seen a chicken? Do you know how chubby a phone is? How are you going to tape anything to a chicken? I thought you were going to say, buy this little chicken helmet that's got a camera on it and then put the thing on it. That is an idea. Okay, yeah, let's do that.

The SPCA is going to come for us, Shannon, over this. No, I'm going to shut down the hack. You couldn't take the chicken. You couldn't. Shannon. You couldn't. Do you know how heavy your phone is? It's just not big enough.

Do you know how heavy your phone is? It'll break the chicken's neck. Well, I thought they're quite strong, aren't they? No, they're whistly weak. That's how you kill them. That's how you grab them and spin neck. Well, I thought they're quite strong, aren't they? No, they're whistly, weak. That's how you kill them. You grab them and spin them. Oh, no. Spin them.

That's how we used to do it with the broilers that my grandparents had growing up. Vaughn. That'll cut the head off, but if you cut the head off, they still run around. Vaughn. We've got a vegan in the mix. Where do you think that bachelor's handbag comes from? From the supermarket. That chicken just didn't end its own life.

No, he passed away in a sleepy, sunny field, and we got him just fresh. The last time I got a bachelor's handbag, it was because Shannon put a phone around his neck, and it died, and then they turned it into a number seven hot honey soy. It tried to run around. It was like, ah, and we were like, quickly get it in a bag. Terrible hack,

minus four. I mean, minus 12. I'm just going to hit zero, so we're negative eight. I'm going to say you've got one more hack to redeem.

Yeah. Otherwise, this segment is getting cut. You know, when I'm getting- Why did you say this? Because generally, you'll see this somewhere.

Yeah, on TikTok. Show me the video of someone who's strapped a camera to a TikTok. I'll show you in the break. Once you started to pick holes in this, I do wish I kind of kept my mouth shut.

I've had a reflection moment. Not my best. Now, we've had one message in, but we've had some coming in saying, oh my God, this is terrible. And one coming in saying, don't shut down the hacks. We love them. What, you love the hacks because people love the hacks because they're so terrible.

Now, negative 12, negative 8. I'm saying zero. That's negative. Negative 4. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's bad. Shannon, back to the drawing board.

One more shot. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Okay. Now, look. We are not here to judge. Can we start off by saying that? I am. I'm a judge.

Vaughan's very judgy. Well, you are a judge. I'm a fully qualified high court judge. Take your wig off. You don't need to wear it to work. You're not. I am. You're not a judge.

I am literally here to judge. You are judgemental, but you're not a judge. Yes. There's a difference. I'm Judge Trent. I'm Judge Jury and Executioner. No, you're not. You're not a judge. Yes. There's a difference. I'm Judge Dredd. I'm Judge Jury and Executioner. No, you're not. You're more Judge Judy.

Oh, she makes bank. Yeah, she does. I'd be happy to be Judge Judy. Now, here's the story, right? There was a woman. She got a job. She had a job and then that job needed to relocate her.

And then she was offered either redundancy or she could relocate to this new city and keep her job. She's like, you know what? Time for a change. Why not? She gets the new job where a lovely man in the new office is tasked with showing her around. Boy, oh boy, the sparks do fly.

Oh. They kick it off. Wow. So she moves straight to a new city and she's found a boyfriend. She's found a boyfriend. She says within a week, she's having the most mind-blowing who-whos. Time of

her life. Time of her life that she's ever had. Then it is revealed to her after the fact by other people in this office he married, he childrened. Okay, wow. And he's not single. He doesn't have an agreement? There's not some sort of agreement? No agreement.

But he swears to God to her his marriage is unhappy. The plan is that he will leave. It's just the small children keep getting in the way. How many people have hooked up with someone and then found out that they're actually married and then... This is the question. Or they say they're split and they're not. Or that it's about to end and it doesn't.

Any minute now, I'm going to end it when I have the guts. This is the question. We actually put this up on Instagram last night as well and we want to take some calls and get some messages in this morning. Have you slept with someone who was married? Maybe you didn't know it at the time. Yes. Because it wasn't revealed to you.

And he said, look, if I told you that I was married with children, you wouldn't have given me a look in. She was like, yeah. That's how married with children works. Also, it's not always a he. No, it's not always a he No it's not always a he But in this circumstance it is And also unfortunately she's

Head over heels in love with him now And so it's very complicated Wait so she's on like TikTok or Instagram Just letting all of this out Well it's a bit of a what should I do situation And everyone's like it's not your problem I mean I'm grateful she shared Because we've got some content to talk about It's a bit of like a what should I do situation. And everyone's like, it's not your problem. Man, people share. I mean, I'm grateful she shared because we've got some content to talk about.

But like stop sharing all your personal stuff. Oh, I know. And what sort of relationship are they ever going to have when the foundations of it are built on the lies of a previous? Oh, get off your high horse and live a little one. It was a bit poetic. It was, yeah. It was a bit poetic.

It was. It was a little agony. Okay, we want to take your a bit poetic. It was. It was a little agony. Okay, we want to take your calls. 0800 DALS at M. You can text through. And we can make it anonymous as well. 9696 is the text number. Have you ever hooked up with a married person?

Someone has messaged in, are we taking stories from the gays? I mean, you barely count in terms of us. Yeah, they normally just have an agreement, don't they? We love the gays. No, no, no. The gays sleeping with married men. Oh, yes. 100%.

We love those stories. I'm a gay man. Of course I've slept with married men. And then in brackets, two women in brackets. Oh, I thought they were meaning like other gay married men. Oh, that too, I guess. No, because the idea is that it's behind someone's back, right? So if there's an agreement, we don't want to hear it.

Yeah. Oh, no, if it's an open relationship, who cares? It doesn't, that's not what we want. Have you slept with a married person? Did you know they were married when you made the choice to sleep with them? Hook up with them? Get with them? Be in a relationship with them?

Yeah. Or did you not know? Oh, there are always messages. Yes, yes, yes. Let's tear apart the sanctity of marriage. Okay, get your calls and your texts in. We'll get to those next. Ed Sheeran. Oh lordy. They're already coming in.

A woman was relocated for work, got to the new office. A man showed her around. They started flirting. She slept with him within a week. Said it was mind-blowing and then found out he was married with kids. We want to know. And she's in love with him now. We want to know if you've slept with someone who's married did you know

what happened did it all blow up and I was about to swear we're getting some crazy stories hmm where do we even start

I'm going to start with the Instagram responses okay because we asked on Instagram these are anonymous and the name's been cut out because you know every now and then

I'll say it's anonymous and then I'll say and then Hayley has this to say. Not you. Anonymous. But I'll say a name straight after I say anonymous. The names haven't even been given to you, have they? Didn't know he had a partner.

Had a kid with them. Found out I'm one of many others and the wife still doesn't know. Wait, how is he having kids with other people when his partner's not knowing? And you must tell her. Because how's he paying child support? How's this guy paying? I don't know. Isn't it wild?

Anonymous, please. She was married. I was her first woman. Met at work. I'm 27 years younger. Vaughn Anonymous says, yeah, Sade's married and I've slept with her.

Hey-o! That was me. I replied to our question. Okay. Please don't waste the producer's time. Hey-o! That's actually really

a waste of everyone's time. It's actually a waste of everybody's time. Sorry, guys. With that, I just wanted to be involved. Kylie joins us. Good morning, Kylie.

Morning. So what happened? What's the story? Sorry guys I just wanted to be involved Kylie joins us, good morning Kylie Morning So what happened? What's the story? I met this guy on Tinder And we dated for a few weeks Until he told me that I talked about more of his family And saying that his foster sister

Was moving in with him. It was around like the time of COVID. Right. Yeah. We continued dating for a couple of months with all the restrictions and stuff. But yeah, and then he decided to break it off saying he was going to go traveling overseas. And I was like, that's a bit weird during COVID sort of thing. He picked a poor lie.

Yeah, and then I saw him driving his truck a few months later and I was like, well, you're not overseas. So I did some good old Facebook stalking and found that the person he said was his foster sister was actually his partner of a few years. Oh my god.

What? So I messaged her And gave her all the evidence And she never knew Oh my god Was this in small town New Zealand? Don't say where Don't say what small town

How does someone think they're going to get away with that In small town New Zealand You wouldn't even get away with that in big city New Zealand And then you answered the question I was going to ask you. Are they still together? They are.

Yep. Wow. I actually drove past the area where he lives yesterday and saw them walking down the street together. And you were like

holy guacamole. Wow. Guys he's really close with that foster sister. Lucky I didn't run into where the point they crossed the road so.

We're going to really intrusive thought there, Kylie. Hey, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Someone said I had a hot, steamy love affair for all of six months before he moved to Australia, and that's when I found out he had a family. What about the read out the text about the coming to Christmas? Oh, okay.

Listen to this one. Yeah. So I moved to New Zealand and I had no idea that this guy had a wife. He never mentioned her. He invited me to his family Christmas as it was my first year in New Zealand and I was from the UK and he was originally from the UK too. And he said, oh, you can't be alone on Christmas. You've got to come around for Christmas.

Yeah. That's when I find out he has a wife and children. I'm at their family Christmas. It was awkward for me, but what about the balls on this guy just inviting the person he's having an affair with to a family Christmas and trusting him. With his wife and kids.

Yeah. So you're there being like, hi, who are you? Yeah, who are you? But if you were like, oh, this girl's just moved here from, she's going to be alone for Christmas. Is it work, mate? Is it all right? Yeah, who are you? But if you were like, oh, this girl's just moved here from, she's going to be alone for Christmas as a workmate. Is it all right?

Yeah, but what do you say? What does our texter say when you turn up and you're like, hi? And he's like, hi, this is my wife, John, Jennifer. And you're like, John, Jennifer. John, Jennifer. Can we have a follow up there? Like what happened? Did you say, I'll reply back.

Did you say, I can't reply back. What is it? What is it? Have I lost my reply? I can. There it is. Okay. Did you say? I can't reply back. What is it? What is it? Have I lost my reply? I can. There it is. Okay. Did you say?

We're going to need a follow-up on that. Follow-up, please. What happened? Follow-up, text it, please. Follow-up, please. So many messages coming in. So many. Someone texts in saying, I just got engaged.

This chat doesn't bode well. Now, I'll be having questions if you're worried. Yeah. It's all about, you've got to know the person you're with, right? I was out one night and a teacher was cooking a barbecue outside a fundraiser. This isn't their teacher. Just my teacher. He later gave me a ride

home. We did some naughty stuff in the car. Then afterwards I said, oh, we should exchange numbers. And he said, well, actually, I'm engaged, so probably shouldn't. Now, that's an interesting place to draw the line on what you should be doing when you're engaged Next time I saw him was a month later He was out in the stag do he try to talk to me

I was like I had a thing with my boss In my younger years I didn't know he was married with a child Until I stayed overnight at his house He had a picture of him and his wife and child On the nightstand Flip that down

In the house. Yeah. Wow. I hooked up with a guy one night, searched his phone number on Facebook. Oh, remember the good old days? Oh, I remember when you could do that. That was so great.

Searching his number and you'd see their Facebook page. And then I searched his number on Facebook. The next day he was married, never spoke again. Two years later, I ended up in the dance class with his wife. There are so many Juicy messages coming in I flirted I'm just reading this one

I haven't pre-read it Flirted on and off with a guy These are exciting ones For five years Met up multiple times Yep Wellington to Timaru Oh

I'm not going to say What his job was That might be a little bit Of a giveaway Turns out however Oh no okay So he said he was A graphic designer He was a church pastor of a giveaway. Turns out, however, oh, no, okay, so he said he was a graphic designer.

He was a church pastor with a wife and two children. Yes. I met him when he was in town for his dad's funeral, as it turns out. Now, how's that for a man of the cloth? It's sinning. I'll tell you what, it sounds very sinning. Yeah. I was dating a guy for four bloody months,

that's in capitals, had absolutely no idea he had a wife, two kids and one on the way. Oh my God. He was always free to hang out

at least three nights a week, only figured it out because he snuck into mine one morning and had forgot to take his ring off. How is your husband and you're pregnant, I'm not saying that his wife's,

but how can you not know? Three nights a week he's hanging out with someone. Yeah, what's he saying he's doing? I don't know. We've got to start slipping ear tags into people's pockets and bags. I think we've got to start ear tagging husbands. Somebody messaged in saying, I'm a homosexual male. Welcome to the show.

Always welcome. All are welcome here. I would say, I mean, statistically, this can't be right. I assume most married straight men in Auckland are at least hooking up with me once. That's so good. That's so good. Now I feel like I'm missing out. Listen to this mental play.

Slept with my ex-husband after he left me for another woman. I slept with my ex after he left me for another woman. I didn't want him back. It's clearly he's a jerk. I just wanted her to get a taste of her own medicine. We don't condone this kind of behaviour. So juicy. It's bloody juicy.

Someone said literally just ended a 10 month situationship with a married man. Now that makes it sound like they knew he was married at some stage because it's a situationship. Oh, we've got an update from the text that you want to hear from. I didn't say anything.

I was quiet because it was at his parents' house. His parents, her parents, cousins, everyone. Oh my God, the balls on this guy. I still keep silent about it, but I always wanted to tell him. It enables me to run errands. Oh, but I'm an efficient worker

and that was a run errands. I don't know. Stayed quiet. It was a yummy Christmas dinner though. That is so wild. Do we have Overflow? Is this an Overflow podcast? Yeah, I mean, I'd say they're much to the same tune.

Right, okay. So maybe not. What are you aghast at, Vaughan? Just people's behaviour. Yeah. I'm thinking of the thing humans can't be trusted. Yeah. Yeah.

Some people think monogamy is not for everybody. Not for everybody or anybody, given the texts. I met a guy who was nine years younger than me. It was an instant attraction. We started dating. He took me to his place. I saw pictures of a kid and I said, hey, are you married? And he said, divorced.

A couple of months later, I found out he is married. But I was head over heels. It took a few months to break it up. As I found his wife was having a breakdown about it all and her suspicion, so I went to apologise to her. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. So many wild, juicy messages in.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Taylor Swift on ZM, Fletchford and Hayley. It's Taylor Tuesday. Anjali, good morning. Hi, morning. Jesus. Straight out of my teeth.

Coming in hot. You are in the drawer. That's amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much. My daughter is going to be so, so happy. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, crikey. It's so hard to get tickets. This is the closest I've come. Well, you are in the draw. We've got four Taylor Tuesdays all up. If you're that one lucky person that we call back, you and your daughter are off to Vancouver to see Taylor Swift. That would be a dream come true.

Absolute dream. Good luck. That gig is December 8th And flights are thanks to United Airlines Flying non-stop from Auckland and Christchurch to the US And connections to more than 200 destinations Across the Americas That was really sweet, that's really made my day

Keep listening, more Taylor songs are coming up But right now it's time for Fact of the Day Day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do. It's streak week at Fact of the Day. So yesterday we talked about a gambling streak.

Lucky streaks, yeah. Today we're talking about Duolingo streaks Oh yeah Streaks has been said too many times it's lost all meaning Streaks streaks streaks Duolingo that It's annoying that app It really gets you

Because you were piggybacking on somebody else's so it was free Is that what was annoying you about it? No it's if you If you don't do your daily exercises, it's like, hey, are you still there? Do you want to do it? Do you want to do it? I gave up.

And if you miss a day, it's like, yeah, do you want to pay? Do you want to pay? Because you can keep your streak if you pay. Oh. Yeah. It's like Snapchat. Yeah. I've got streaks with my kids and they're like, oh, dad,

the streak's disappeared. Pay to get it back. I'm like, no. For what? It's not a real thing. No. Neho. Okay, what's

Duolingo's streak? I've got the current winner. Okay. The current streak leader of Duolingo has been... Can you say it

in a different language? Yeah, say it in Spanish. No, don't, because you'll do that thing where you pretend to speak Spanish and it's actually quite insulting. Is it?

What's wrong with that? No, that's Italian. You've just slipped. Wow. What is offensive about that? Absolutely nothing. Do you want to hear me do Chinese? Yes, go for it.

Nihao. See, that wasn't, because it was an actual word. You're not as good at Chinese as you are at Spanish. I should say the other day, my Chinese father-in-law tried to do a Chinese accent, even though he does have a Chinese accent.

He's got a Chinese accent and he sounded somehow less Chinese. How did he sound? Why? It's like, have you seen that meme of the Asian guy who does an impersonation of Americans? less Chinese. How did he sound? What? It's like, have you seen that meme of the Asian guy who does an impersonation

of Americans? And he's like, I think I'll use my credit card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Japanese English teacher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he does like, oh, it's so funny.

It's so funny. Well, the current leader in Duolingo streaks is Christy Three. Yeah. And Christy Three is on a 4,274 day Duolingo streak, which isy 3. Yeah. And Christy 3 is on a 4,274-day Duolingo Streak, which is-

She's fluent at this point. Over 11 years. What, how, what language? Oh, good call. Multiple, multiple. Because I looked at them last night. That feels like straightforward information that you would have known.

No, no, because it's not. So she's done- Oh, it's more than one language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll forgive you then. She's doing Italian. Yeah. English, no, because it's not. So she's done- Oh, it's more than one language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll forgive you then. She's doing Italian. Yeah. English.

Hello. Latin, like old school. Not Latin America. Latin as in- Gratatus, triberanus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she can work out what schools in New Zealand with zero ties to Latin.

Luce Veritatis, follow the light of truth. Yeah. Queen Margaret College. Follow the light of truth. Yeah, the light of truth. Where did that get you? Lucha veritatis followed the light of truth yeah queen margaret college follow the light of truth yeah the light of truth where did that get you lucha veritatis well i followed the light of truth all the time and the truth is you make a little bit wow yeah wow yeah tell me i'm lying and spanish she said she's doing italian so she just leveled up she just leveled up in spanish so because duolingo it has an end right you clock it can you clock it i don't know if you can so she's doing Italian so she just leveled up she just leveled up in Spanish so was she

because Duolingo has an end right you clock it can you clock it I don't know if you can clock it I don't know I guess I guess if you were fluent

in the language you'd be like oh I'm not doing this stupid it would be like us doing an English Duolingo everyday I've done English at school I've done with learning

I've seen I've seen the streak I've seen the streak you can also freeze your streak on Duolingo I didn't I don't know is that like if you're on a streak I've done English at school. I've done with learning English. I've seen the streak. I've seen the streak. You can also freeze your streak on Duolingo. I don't know. Is that like if you're on a streak, but you're going to like, like the other day when you paused your ring streak on your watch

because you didn't want to break your thing, even though you're only really cheating yourself. Not like this system. It's like when you don't log a food into MyFitnessPal because you can't get it. You can't log it as an orange. It was an orange slice, but it's fine. I think that was an orange.

I think that was an orange. It was a whole block of chocolate, but it was orange chocolate. It was orange chocolate, so I put an orange and I put in the first thing I came up with. It was a Terry's chocolate orange, which is an orange.

Which is predominantly an orange. Definitely is an orange. Looks like an orange. You know what? Only two days behind her, Sarka B is the second. Wow. What language are they learning?

In the dueling. So they are learning Spanish, English, Portuguese, French, and Czech. Wow. We've got some onglots. What are they? You can't say that. Thingyglots. Thingyglot.

Polyglot? Polyglot. Poly and grant. Polyglot. It's poly and grant. You're a poly and grant. Poly glot. I don't think you can do that anymore. Poly. Poly glot. Poly and grant. Poly glot. It's poly and grant. You're a poly and grant. Yeah. Poly glot.

Isn't that? Yeah, well, poly means many. And glot. Yeah, poly glot. Yeah, it is a poly glot. Yeah. Yeah. You're a poly glot.

If you'd done your Latin, you'd know. Yeah, I know. Although that, is that Latin or does that feel a bit like Greek? Anyway. See, puppy. See. See, puppy. See. See puppy. Today's fact of the day is the long-

It's all about pronunciation because Duolingo doesn't just teach you the language. It teaches you how to pronounce it. It's a good ad. And the correct way to pronounce see puppy is see puppy. See. Mommy. Yeah, you've got to go on. Today's fact of the day is that the current Duolingo streak leader has 4,274 days in a row.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. There's no bigger fan of Chapel Rowan right now than Vaughan Smith. I love it. I listen to that album every day a couple of times at least. Yep. And I get to the end of it, I was like, oh, maybe I've had enough for a day. And then Feminine Omenon starts again.

Yeah. Straight back into it. Do you think it's too late in the year for Chapel Rowan to be your number one Spotify at the end of the year? I don't know because I mostly just listen to podcasts. Okay, so maybe. So I think it should be

a strong contender. Love that album. Last night, I got a message on Instagram and it reminded me that Hayley and I had sent a

semi-drunk video to a reality TV star, a New Zealand reality TV star. Now, you're a big fan of the show, Shannon. You love Below Deck. Biggest fan in the world. Yeah, I'd say biggest fan in the world.

Biggest fan I know by a country mile. Yeah. And you've actually become friends with this person, haven't you? My close personal friend, Aisha, yes. That's right, Aisha. We've DM'd like three times. Who has listened to the podcast and the show for years. Yeah.

We'd say friend of the show. For sure. But I forgot about this moment in our Saturday proceedings. Yeah. And then yesterday I opened up my Instagram and it was like, Aisha Jean follows you. And I was like, oh yeah, that's Aisha from Below Deck. Not even thinking anything of it. Because you still could have,

yeah. So on, on Saturday night, we were having some drinks for our friend Mike, our friend Mike's birthday. Yes, we had a few drinky poos.

And our friend, our friend. I'll say it, Matty McLean. Matty, yeah. Left too early. He bailed a sensible time.

But he goes on the juice box run. Yeah, he does, he does Sunday morning runs. he left us. He left us. And one of our friends wasn't there, Dr. Shawnee. Now, Dr. Shawnee went to school.

With Aisha. With Aisha. Yeah. And I don't know how, but I think because we were seeing the harbour and all the yachts, I think we started talking about Below Deck. And then, you know, it just got brought up. In case people are listening, I wasn't invited. Maybe you would have never come.

You wouldn't have come. Your wife was invited. Was she? Interesting. Well, of course. No, I wasn't invited. Yeah, no, because we knew you wouldn't come. Well, it's an empty invite.

Should I leave? No, no, you can stay. Now. A friend's telling a funny story about what happened in the weekend. Don't you get jealous about our social hangouts when we invite you time and time and time and time again and you don't come. So now we don't invite you.

You're going to get upset about it? Yeah, I am. I'm really upset. So I don't know why, but we were in quite a bratty mood. And so I opened up. Because I wasn't there to keep everybody grounded. Yeah, you do. You're a grounding figure.

In a video message to Aisha, Hayley and I asked her. From the waterfront. We asked her because she's friends with our friend, Sean. Yeah. We said, who do you like better, us or Sean? Yeah. Which is childish. It's childish.

It's so pretty and childish. And then she messaged me back last night. And I opened this message and she's laughing. What are you laughing at? Oh, my God. That's right. We sent you a message asking you to pick a favourite. I totally forgot as well.

And she's like, you know, I've known Sean for longer. I went to school with him. Oh my God, she took it seriously. She gave this very diplomatic, on the fence answer that she loved us all. And then Dr. Shawnee was a little bit annoyed that we even asked the question. He was like, you don't even know her,

let alone go out with her. Trying to steal other people's friends. Same. Like, purely as a joke. But when you get in and they're like, and they're just like, and then you say to them, your friend who was also their friend,

they like me better than you. They like me better than you. Yeah. Yeah. This is why my parents wouldn't let me hang out when my brother had friends around. Because I'd get in there. You'd be cooler?

Razzle dazzle them with a bit of the old charm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Charm on tap. Charm. And old Philips. Comes out my nipples. I'm lactating charm Not milk it's just charm

And Philip Smith Loses more friends Yeah yeah yeah To his younger brother To his charismatic young brother Yeah 100% And my mum was like Please just leave them be

I'd be like I got a tight five I want to run by them Yeah yeah yeah Get in there and razzle dazzle We need to invite Aisha To something To really solidify

Our standing with her As our new friend And steal her as our new friend. And steal her off our other friends. And don't invite Sean. Yeah. That's wild. And then he'll just see it out. I don't do this. We don't do friend rankings. No. We get on with everybody. No.

But I did tell someone in our group that they were top five. Wow. Okay. Top five friend. And I said, I won't say where you sit, but it's top five. And they said, that's good enough for me. I love it when you say to someone, you're my top seven. You're my top seven. Bring back the MySpace, the Bebo, the top eight.

Bring back the top eight. It keeps friends on their toes. Oh, yeah, 100%. Did you remove me from your top eight? Have I upset you? Get on the phone. What do we do? Yeah, well, the birthday present wasn't enough.

Yeah, it wasn't enough. You're number nine now. Work on it. Work on it and get back in the top eight. Get back in the top eight. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, this week in 1994, so 30 years ago, Friends debuted on the television.

Wow. And it's been running on TV too at 5.30 ever since. No. No, 30. I'm afraid to break it to you. No, because it would make me 34 and that's wrong. 24. No, you're 34.

No. I'm 34? It's pretty wild you were only five years old when Friends came out. Yeah. I remember watching it. Yeah. Because it's always been on. It's always been on. But I probably didn't watch it the first time. I would have watched it the second time around. Yeah. I remember watching it. Yeah. Because it's always been on. It's always been on.

But I probably didn't watch it the first time. I would have watched it the second time around. Yeah. Or the third. I love it. I watch it at least once every couple of years. The whole thing. I'll go back and I'll be like, right, let's get in.

I love it. It's so funny. How long does it take you? How many episodes is it? Ages. Oh, it's 10 seasons. Wow. Oh, is it 10 seasons?

Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From 1994 to 2004. I don't watch them all. So it's finished. It's 20 years it's 10 seasons. Wow. Oh, is it 10 seasons? Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From 1994 to 2004. I don't watch them all, but I- It's finished. It's 20 years since it's finished. 30 years since it started. That's insane.

It's just not. You've got wrong numbers. And Nicole, also Nicole Richie just turned 43. Yeah, she just had her birthday. But she is living the simple life. Yeah, she's like 20. On a farm. On a farm.

She's like 20 on a farm with Paris Hilton. Fluctuating way. Was Paris Hilton the same age? A smidge older, I think. She might have been a little bit older. What's Paris? Because she was a little bit older than me. 43.

Well, that's her biological age. Yeah, 17th of February, 81. Yeah. Wowza. That's madness. Yeah, both thought 43. I mean, it feels like it was yesterday You guys will remember this

In 1948 the Honda Motor Company was founded Oh my god I remember seeing the first Honda Motor Car Go By Are you on a Wikipedia of things? I mean it feels like yesterday That it was Black Friday Where gold prices plummeted

But it was 1869 Do you know how much money we lost when the gold prices plummeted but it was 1869. Do you know how much money we lost when the gold prices plummeted? Because we had so much gold. Yeah, so much. You expressed that at Ulysses Grant. He ordered the treasure and sold a large quantity of gold.

Yeah. I voted for Grant. And I mean, if you even go, like you guys will remember this because it feels like yesterday that in, but it was in 1568

that Spanish naval forces defeated an English fleet. That was the last time I had my dream body. I remember it because I remember looking in the mirror and being like, hot damn. But even at the time, I remember you being like, this could be better. Yeah, this could be better. I wish I could go back to that. You should just be happy with what you had in 1568.

You've been doing this all week because your kids have been growing up way too fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you sure you're not having a midlife crisis? It's certainly not as exciting as I'd hoped it would have been growing up way too fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you sure you're not having a midlife crisis? It's certainly not as exciting as I'd hoped it would have been otherwise. What, your midlife crisis? Yeah. I don't have a convertible. You know how they call those, there are those slow-moving earthquakes?

Yeah, you're rumbling at the moment. You're kind of like moving just... I'm in what, a pre-shot? Yeah, and then nothing happens, but it is a release under the ground. It's a glacial... It's a glacial midlife crisis. Yeah, I reckon that's what's happening for sure. Oh, my God.

I'm just reading. God, I remember this like it was yesterday, but it simply was 1852 that the first powered passenger-carrying airship, the Gifford Dribble, travelled 17 miles. Wow, 17 miles. We'll never fly further than that. We didn't have phones back then. We couldn't take a photo. Do you remember? We were like, oh my god, if only

there was a way we could capture this moment. Feels like yesterday. Feels like yesterday. God, we've been friends for a long time. Hundreds of years. Hey guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking

it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it. See, I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same.

No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say nice. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, nah. No, but only after ours.

Yeah, nah. Nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Yeah nah Nah don't do that And not more than ours Yeah Give us a sexy little review though