ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 25th September 2023

Episode Date: September 24, 2023

Freeze Ray!  DOC Huts  Top 6: Animal AI  Silly Little Poll!  School Houses  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Mine is Hayley today, who is coming back from Melbourne today. Right. She was filming a TV thing yesterday.

Australia's have you been paying attention yesterday Yeah And then there's no late flights Gotcha Well there is this late flight that leaves at like midnight But then you get in like now Well that's better than tomorrow Where is she?

Yeah well I did question her work ethic Yeah Jesus Did you lose a whole day coming back from Aussie? Well you came back Yesterday We left at like 11.20 Did you lose a whole day coming back from Aussie? Well, you came back yesterday. We left at like 11.20 and it got in at 5 o'clock. 6 o'clock.

Yeah, 6 o'clock. Because of daylight savings. Right. Three and a half hour flight. Three hours difference at the moment. Gone. See you later, Dave. Your day's gone.

See you later. See you later, Dave. Yeah, daylight savings. Saving. S you later, day. Yeah, daylight savings. Say ving. Say ving. So it would normally be 5 o'clock right now. Yes. So when I woke up, my cat was waking me up.

He was an hour earlier than normal. He's already adjusted. How does he know? Because he can read a clock. Because he's hungry. Yeah. Fat little effer. Yeah.

Gotcha. Okay, so on the show today, our Cash Catch-Up continues. 8 o'clock, $25,000 we've got to give away. So listen out for that activated. We play at 8, midday, and 4 o'clock. Loads of cash coming up to give away. The top six. Yeah, AI might be the key to finally understanding what animals want.

Like when your cat was meowing this morning. What did your cat want? Food, obviously. It doesn't take AI to work that out. It doesn't take a genius. It's a cat. And that's pretty much all they want from us is food. And a pet.

Now, now, not now, not now. So I've got the top six things different animals have been trying to tell us for ages. Finally, we'll know. Next on the show, the US military working on a new weapon. Top six things different animals have been trying to tell us for ages. Finally, we'll know. Next on the show, the US military working on a new weapon. And I've got to say, this one is like out of a movie. Oh, because I watched the TV last night. They had a story on the US submarines that Australia is getting,

the nuclear-powered ones. Oh, yeah. And they kept talking about the war using, like like inevitable terminology. Oh, yeah. No ifs. It was more of a wins. Fun times. Great times to be alive. I'll tell you about this new weapon next.

So the US military are working on a new weapon. And I thought this would be right up your alley, Vaughn. It's a fictional, well, I mean, we've seen it in movies as a freeze ray gun, but they're working on a real life freeze ray gun. Like Dr. Freeze off Batman. Like Batman, yeah, exactly. Like Batman, exactly like that. So how would it work?

You point it and you pull the trigger and then the targeted position freezes? Yes. And if I like shot you with it, would it make an ice cube around you or would it just create an extreme point of cold? So apparently. So you're like, oh, God, I can't concentrate. I need to go wheeze because I'm cold all of a sudden. Yeah, there's an engineering department.

They reckon they stumbled upon a method to create this accidentally. Right. We were out there just trying to think of a fun new way to kill a fellow human. And we stumbled across a freeze ray. I think they were trying to, so like planes that operate at high altitude, like war planes and stuff,

they need to cool the overheated electronics. Okay. Like the system, so they don't overheat. But so that when doing this- Or like the computer. Well, my computer's got a little fan in it. Yes, I don't know if you can have that. I should try that. I don't know if you can have a little fan at 30,000 feet. But also at 30,000 feet, it's incredibly cold. Yeah. I don't know. So how hot are these things running? Quite hot by the sounds of it. Because when you're in a commercial airliner and it's like outside temperature, minus 50.

Yeah. That's pretty, always pretty wild. So, yeah, so they're working on these. I mean and it's like outside temperature minus 50. Yeah. That's pretty always pretty wild. So yeah, so they're working on these. I mean it's, I'll be honest, it's a lot of science worn to explain but yeah, they reckon that this is how they're going to do it. What's its range? I don't think we're there yet. How far can you shoot it? I don't think we're there yet. Okay.

I just I need more information because they could just be making this up. The molecules and plasma and there's a whole lot of, yeah. Also, they should be keeping this to themselves, like an Oppenheimer. Yeah, like don't tell anyone. Don't tell China.

No, because then they'll develop, they'll take what limited information they're given, give it to their best people and they'll have one too. Don't China have like a microwave ray gun or the Americans have got one of those too, eh? Where you just shoot a laser at it, Give it to their best people and they'll have one too. Don't China have like a microwave ray gun? Or the Americans have got one of those too, eh? Where you just shoot a laser and it just like microwaves people. But it's hot on the outside and freezing cold in the middle.

Just like this. And the bowl urine. The bowl urine is so unbelievably hot to the touch. Yeah. Next on the show, if you're considering facial surgery. No. No? Maybe put it. Is this why Hayley's away today? Maybe put it on put it. Is this why Hayley's away today?

Maybe put it on your list. Is this why Hayley's a day late? She's finally getting it done. She's finally getting them filled and then Botoxed. We'll be looking tomorrow. About why travelling overseas to do it might not be as easy as you thought it would be. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, if you've had a little nip-tuck, a little change to the face,

you'll probably go for a discreet change. A slight de-aging, if you will. Well, this is how people start, isn't it? Yeah, it's a slippery slope. It's a slippery slope and then your face looks like nothing like you had before. Who was telling me Turkey's the place to go now? Is it? Turkey's the new Thailand.

Turkey's the new Thailand. We've had a rebrand. Is it? Turkey's the new Thailand. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey's the new Thailand. They've had a rebrand. Yeah. Is it? Okay. Hair plugs, face stuff, teeth business.

Yeah, right. If you're going to get it done, Turkey. Hair plugs. Yeah. Whose hair do you get? My, I don't know.

Do you get like your bum hair or back hair or someone else's? I don't know. Okay. My barber told me that was the place to go. Really?

I said, it's too far gone. He didn't say to me... He told me he had it done. Oh, really? He had it done. Could you tell? No.

Really? No. Middle Eastern dude, you know, Middle Eastern dude, thick head of hair. Yeah, yeah. Completely not suspecting. Good from him, though. Good from him, because if you go to Turkey and get hair plugs,

you'll go back and need the hair cut and the bedroom. Oh, yeah. So he's just getting more work. I thought you were going to say if you go to Turkey And get hair plugs You'll go back And need the haircut And the bedroom Oh yeah So he's just getting more work I thought you were going to say I'd go to Turkey And I'd come back With Middle Eastern man hair I think it's suited

Do they match the hair To the person? I don't know That's so many questions I know Lots of questions about it But apparently It's the place to go

But there is a problem That has affected Older Koreans Who are going overseas To get like intense face lifts. Not little, little pull back, little, like this 71 year old woman gets a full reupholstering of the face.

Kind of like when your couch gets old and saggy and you need a reupholster. Yeah, you need to get totally done. And it's really tight. You've got a classic old car and the old vinyl seats are stretched and ripped and you get a full rear pollster. She's got a full rear pollster. Does not even look like the same person. Oh no. You very obviously had surgery. Yep. Maybe it calms down over a while but at 71 years old the body takes a little while longer to heal. They can't get back into Korea. Why? Well they don't look anything like their passports.

Like nothing like their passports. Like, nothing like their passports. The surgery has made them look younger, I say, because it's just taken away all the wrinkles. But it's also changed what makes a Korean person look like a Korean person. Oh, okay, right. So, they look

nothing like their passport. They try to scan it to get back into the country and it's like, you're going to need to go to the desk. Yeah. You know, like when you come back through the... So yesterday, a guy pushed in rudely in front of me at the line to use the passport kiosk. Rudely, I was like...

It's very busy at the airport yesterday. Yeah. We get to the front of the line, he puts in his passport and it's not an E passport, so he has to go all the way back, light up with the other people. I didn't think you would have a passport that wasn't an e-passport. I know. I thought they would have expired by now. Yeah, or I think there are certain

countries that aren't allowed to use those smart gates and he was from one of those countries and I had a great moment where I was like, shouldn't have pushed him. Karma. Well, maybe I didn't recognise him. Was he a Korean man who had recently come back with man who had the shuffle of a man in his late 70s, early 80s, but had the face of a plastic G.I. Joe that had spent a couple of summers on a dashboard? Didn't look puffy.

Yeah, so apparently can't get back in. Then even when they go to the desk, they don't look anything like the passport photo anymore. Because there's no way to tell, is there? It just looks like you're using a fake passport. That's exactly what they... And then they've got to be detained, and then they've got to have, like... They've got to work out the proof,

proving to them that you are that person. I wonder how many people a day try to use fake passports. I don't know. Why would it be that many? I don't know. I've never crossed my mind It'd be so ballsy to use someone else's passport That wasn't yours

We talked about airports on the show The other week and someone said they used to work At Heathrow And they said the airlines Get fined Because they let them on there in the first place But yeah they said it was like at Heathrow, quite a few.

Yeah, right. People seeking asylum, people trying to get into the UK. Yeah, right. And once you're there, I guess they arrest you and you're there.

Yeah. You might get sent back, you might stay, but I've never thought about it. That would be interesting to get. Let's official information request that.

Yeah. Auckland Airport, how many fake passports have they busted? Love to know. Yeah. 18 minutes past six. From going overseas and travelling home to just staying put. Auckland Airport. How many fake passports have they busted? Love to know. Yeah. 18 minutes past six. From going overseas and travelling home to just staying put.

Oh, yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vornanale. Now, it's not for everybody. A dock hut? Yeah. Not for everybody. Can we ask the producers, when's the last time you were in the great outdoors, lovely dock hut? Stayed the night.

Look at Shannon's face. It's like I said the most horrific thing imaginable. I don't think I've, I've never camped. Like I've not even stayed in a tent before.

I'm a, Well not even for like New Year's for like ROV when you were 18. Nah, I'm a cabin girl. Like a, like a dock tent. You're an Airbnb

holiday park. Yeah, you're a, you're a cabin girl. I'm an Aucklander. So I've never been in a cabin girl. Like a top 10. You're an Airbnb holiday park. Yeah, you're a cabin girl. I'm an Aucklander, so I've never been in a dock hut, no. Don't tarnish all 1.5 million Aucklanders with your brush. I would just love to get out and visit a great hut in a national park. Not me. No, okay. Carl Wayne?

Yeah, no, I've never been in one. Not because I don't want to. I've just never had the chance. Oh my God, you're missing out. Now that I care. That's a passionate sell. Yeah, that was... Yours would have been when we did the Hwanganui River, Jared.

Yeah, that's actually the only one I've ever stayed in. Right. Oh, my God. So only because we forced you on a river trip. No, I wanted to go. I would happily sleep in another dock hut. Right, okay. Well, we got to see the long-tailed bat, didn't we? Yeah.

Yeah, we did. Tiny, tiny thing. Socialise with the dock ranger, listen to some old mate snore the entire night through, get shushed by his wife at 7.30 at night, even though she was up at 6. Dealing with Fletcher's farts. I know, they were Vaughan's farts.

I know, because I don't fart. In fact, the food where you just add the boiling water and let it sit in the bag absolutely clocks me up. There's no nothing. No farts, no poos, nothing. You need earplugs in a dock hut. You certainly do. You're just silly if you don't.

Well, the dock huts, a list has been released, and annoyingly, the top nine. It's always 10. Oh oh why'd they do that at the bottom of this article it tells you about the ten they don't work in radio they don't know poor Kai Hutt

stayed no I haven't stayed there stopped there we haven't stayed there yeah we went to stay there because and there it says beside it

how many days it was at 100% capacity which is 16 16 people and the night that we were gonna stay there but we didn't we left was days it was at 100% capacity, which is 16. 16 people. And the night that we were going to stay there but we didn't, we left, was because it was at capacity and there was just children everywhere. Yeah, that was before you could book it

because you can book it now online. So you don't turn up and it's already full. Yeah, I think it was like double the amount of people that could stay there, people just on the floor. Siberia Hut in Otago, I've never heard of that one. That can sleep 20. Packhorse Hut in Canterbury. That can sleep nine.

Lane Cove Hut in Northland. This looks nice. It's got like a deck and everything. Oh, yeah. Lovely little deck there. Mueller Hut. I want to go to this hut so bad. It's beautiful.

One of the very picturesque South Island huts that's in Canterbury. It's absolute Instagram bait, this hut, because it's like red. And when there's snow everywhere. Yes, that burnt orange. Yeah. Good stuff. Like a red barn-coloured hut.

Yeah, it's very contrasting to its background. So these, because they only just opened up all the bookings for summer, didn't they? So these are like, yeah, already chock-a-block. Huts that are currently running at 50% or more full capacity over the 1st of December to the 31st of January period. Wow. So, okay. So these are already, these are booked. Yeah, a lot of these you're going to have trouble getting in.

Yeah. Motaka Wanui Hut in Northland is number four. Peach Cove. Now, I've stayed at Peach Cove. This is a beautiful little hut. It's just north of Whangarei, and you go up a very, very steep hill, and then you go down the other side of the very, very steep hill, and the Peach Cove hut is absolutely gorgeous.

We were there in a really bad cyclone, and you wouldn't tell. It's quite sheltered in there. Yeah, right. So I can speak to that being very popular. Are these the hunts that aren't on the Great Walks? Because those have all sold out, right? No, that one, oh the hunts that aren't on the Great Walks? Because those have all sold out, right? No, that one,

that one, oh no, that one's on the, is it Te Aranui, the track that goes from the top of the north to the bottom of the south? The full length of New Zealand?

Yeah, I don't think it's called, is that what it's called? Did I? Te Ara, Te Ara, it's T something. It's something. Yeah.

In Can... It's a big one, long one. In Canterbury, number two hut is the Otomahui Hut. And number one is Hookah Hut in Canterbury, which is... Oh, that's Instagrammable, isn't it? Very Instagrammable. That's the one that's close to Mount Cook. Yeah, right.

I think it's a walk from the visitor's centre. It's the closest one to the visitor's centre, but it's quite light. That's at 50 days full capacity. 58 days already booked of the nearly 60 days that I just described. So if you're wanting to head into the great outdoors over the summer holidays. You're about buggered. You're pretty much screwed. Because even the ones that aren't at 100% capacity on those nights,

there are already some people staying there. Yeah. I mean, you can always take a tent and go outside, but that's not as much fun, is it? Yeah, well, you've got to carry that bloody thing there. You've got to carry that. You've got to hike it in. Carry that.

Awesome. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. There was a small incident in Wellington. Details on the story. Oh, it's got nothing to do with me. Oh, you were there for the weekend, weren't you? I was.

Yeah. Well, no, this was a police officer. This happened in Wellington, Romanti South, on Friday. A police officer has injured their foot after accidentally discharging their gun. They shot themselves in the foot. Like the saying, don't shoot yourself in the foot. Shoot yourself in the foot.

The officer was taken to Wellington Hospital with minor injuries. What is the origin of the saying shoot yourself in the foot? I mean, perhaps this very, this very,

this very example is that you have a holstered gun. Shoot yourself in the foot. Was it pulling the trigger before you had it out? Maybe you'll shoot yourself in the foot. This is something I'd do.

I couldn't have a gun. Was he fiddling with it? That's my problem. I'd be fiddling with it. Yeah, you'd be fidd in the foot. This is something I'd do. I couldn't have a gun. Was he fiddling with it? That's my problem. I'd be fiddling with it. Yeah, you'd be fiddling with it. You'd be like, what if I push a Yeah. To shoot yourself in the foot derives from World War I where a soldier would deliberately shoot themselves in the foot to avoid having to go over the top in the

trenches to certain death. Therefore, a cowardly act that involves self-harm and pain as an alternative to something much worse. But that's not really how we use the saying, though, now, is it? You show yourself in the foot, you're bugging it up. You kind of, yeah, you mess it up. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. But I guess our saying's just taking on another meaning. Yeah. How we use it these days. You really show yourself in the foot telling the interviewer all the others who are applying for the job he wanted.

The colloquial term alludes to the accidental shooting as opposed to the deliberate one so as to avoid military service. Also, it's kind of changed a bit. Yeah. In a hundred years.

But this officer, that's embarrassing, isn't it? Because everyone's going to know it's you. You're going to be in the training manual now.

You are, yes. He's going to be in the training manual. Do not fid, yes. He's going to be in the training manual. Do not fiddle with gun. Citation of this incident. And probably some paperwork. I'd imagine. Also, gun?

I thought... It wasn't armed offenders, right? Yeah, it says there was an armed offenders squad where we're on the scene. So this was an armed offenders... Or was it the police officer? Because they're allowed to get the guns out when the armed offenders are there, right? I think... Well there was an armed defender squad on the scene. So this was an armed defender's, oh, or was it the police officer because they're allowed to get the guns

out when the armed defenders are there, right? I think, well, I don't know. But otherwise it's tasers.

Yeah, normally tasers. It's tasers and pepper spray and those new plastic handcuffs, those cable tie handcuffs. Yes.

Yeah. Which are just from Bunnings. They're just from Bunnings, right? Yeah, they're thick ones

from Bunnings. They're thick ones from Bunnings. Very hard to get out of. Oh, yeah. Impossibly hard to get out of a cable tie. Although you'd be able to surely scratch your way out with a bit of glass or melt them out.

Oh, if you had some time on your hands. Soldering iron. If you were in a wagon being transported and there was an accident and there was a sharp surface, you could certainly see yourself free. Certainly what happens in the movies. Yeah, yeah. They might charge. I think they'd be better to chain you up there though.

Yeah. Because of that, if the chain's in there. Maybe walk you to the van in the plastic and then add the additional steel. God, you're sharp at this stuff, aren't you? Oh, yeah. No one's getting out of transportation. It's really your forte.

Yeah. And then I'm the driver and I'm injured and I'm in a coma and they assume I'm dead. The guys that have flipped the van. Yeah. So they don't shoot me. Yeah. And then I'm in a coma for a little while.

Right. And then I wake up and I'm livid. Right. And so my training begins. Montage. Yep. Hunt down the bad guys. Yeah.

Go outside the law. Yeah. The law of which I served for so long that turned its back on me because I was in the coma and then I'm I've turned my back on the law, I'm like I am the law and you hunt them down over time killing all of them

that would be a great movie great movie, I've watched that some people found it a little hard to get on board with my character who was just a driver and now all of a sudden he's just ruthlessly murdering anybody he wants now. Has he become the bad guy? Find out in the sequel. Once we get this writer's strike over with,

we're back to the drawing board. I was going to say your movie could be called The Transporter, but that's already a movie. Yeah. Prison transfer. Yeah. Driver guy.

Yeah. Driver guy. It's a working title. Well, this is what happens when the writers are on strike. You're screwed. Yeah, you've got to do it all yourself. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. I think AI wrote this story because it's positive. And that's the sort of world we live in. Yeah. It's all bad. And that's the sort of world we live in. Yeah. It's all bad. And this is good. And then you've got to be suspicious of the good.

Apparently we might be able to use AI to talk to animals. But back and forth. Okay. You could talk to your chickens. Understand them and then send them something back. Say to your chickens, come on. You're not laying fast enough. Yeah. Do you know somebody, who was it that told me that people trick chickens into laying twice a day?

Really? That's wild, eh? They make them think there's been a mini night time. But they have. It's the ones in the cage. Oh, that's sad. They're not having a great time. Yeah, right.

Stop doing that. They lay once a day if you let them out. That's plenty. That's plenty. Just get more chickens. Yeah. Ta- right. Stop doing that. They lay once a day if you let them out. That's plenty. Just get more chickens. Ta-da. Problem solved. They eat more. All the costs are going up. Yeah, everything's going up, mate. Well, we might be able to talk to animals because AI will

be able to map out their language structure effectively. Do we want to know what they're saying? Well, I don't know. But I've plugged it in. Okay. And I've run some tests over the weekend. The top six things AI will tell us the animals have been saying all along.

Okay. Number six on the list, we spoke to birds. And to be honest, it's all pretty sexual. Is it? Yeah, the dancing, the singing, the poofing up of the feathers. Right. They did it all for the nookie. All this time they've been what?

Just flirting. Yeah, flirting and just trying to bang other birds, basically. Okay. Birds banging birds. Right. They did it all for the nookie. All this time they've been what? Just flirting. Yeah, flirting. Okay. And just trying to bang other birds, basically. Okay. Birds banging birds. Yeah. That's what they wanted us to know.

It's nature. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things AI will tell us the animals are saying. We tried it on primates. Oh, yeah. All the monkeys, et cetera. Yeah, right. Guys, again, it's all pretty sexual, to be honest.

Oh, no. Where do you think we got it from? Yeah, from them. We're pretty... Most of our chat, it's Endgame. It's sex. Yeah. So you can see where we got it from. Number four on the list of the top six things AI will tell us the animals are trying to say.

We tried it with reptiles. Oh, don't tell me. Now, this might come as a huge surprise to you. Don't tell me. It got sexy. It's pretty sexy. Oh, really? Have you seen how their tongues pop out and go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then a huge surprise to you. Don't tell me it got sexy. It's pretty sexy. Oh, really? Have you seen how their tongues pop out and go...

And then they slither around it. Yeah. I'm a reptile. It's pretty sexual stuff. Oh, okay. Guys, I'm sorry to break this to you. Number three on the list of the top six things AI will tell us the animals are saying. We tried it on horses.

Well, not horses, too. It's all pretty kinky. Okay, wow. All that leather, they like it. Yeah. Foaming at the mouth when they've got like a bit in there. Yep. Harnesses.

Wow. And those wangs, huge wangs. Yeah, yeah. I hate to break it to you, but they're joining reptiles, primates and birds. I think just pretty sexually centred. It explains horse people, doesn't it? Yeah, it really does.

It really does. Number two on the list of the top six things AI will tell us the animals are saying. We tried it on insects. Well, not them too. Guess what? It's all sex stuff.

They're rubbing their wings together. They're slapping their legs on the torso. They're reproducing like crazy. You think ants got to their population number by being prudes? I've got news for you. They did not. Yeah. They stole cakes from picnics,

and then they went home and they ate the cake, and then guess how they celebrated? Oh, not really. Orgy. And number one on the list of the top six things AI will tell us the animals are saying, we plugged it into dogs. Oh, yep. Let me guess. Food, ball, vacuum, postman's

hair, someone's at the door. That was all they ever said. That was all they said. Over and over in various orders. Right. Yeah, food, ball, vacuum, postman's hair, someone's at the door. Easily pleased. So easily pleased. And it was nice to finally meet an animal that didn't prioritise

the sex stuff. That's the next top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, so this has been done. This is out of the UK. A lot of Brits, like a lot of Kiwis, still working from home after the pandemic. 40% of people that work from home say that not being in the office all week. And so this is based on people that work solely from home,

I guess hardly ever go into the office, 40% of them say that not being in the office all week has made them fundamentally unspontaneous and boring. Why? Because they just don't want to go out. They're just like you. Perfect. They're more like they are you. Like a trend.

So they're not getting talked into on a Friday. They're like, I guess not. They're like, yeah, let's all go out. Yeah, yeah. Straight to Witherspoon's. They do say that they're more likely to reject night out plans and agree to them. Right.

So it's just made them the stay at home unsociable, which I mean is right up your alley. How great. But also, you do need human interaction. Do you? You do. God, I've met some terrible humans. I mean, I know, I know.

The terrible ones outnumber the really, really good ones. But you'll go out sometimes. Yeah. If Sade makes you. If Sade makes me. If Sade drags you along. It's school holidays now. Yeah. How does that affect you along. It's school holidays now. Yeah.

How does that affect the worker from homers? Probably makes it easier because they don't have to find something to do with their kids. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, imagine that. Versus having to go into work. Yeah. You've got to find something to do with your kids. Imagine if school

holidays made you go into the office just because you wanted to get away from your kids. Yeah. But then I guess you've got to look after them as well if someone does. Because my parents were farmers growing up

so school holidays was either get sent to the grandparents or help out on the farm. But we're always jealous of the kids whose parents had jobs because they got sent to school holiday programs.

Oh yeah. Or just got to be in the house alone. I.e. when they got to a certain age they just got left home alone. And then you can make fudge and stuff. You were bad to the bone.

You make icing out of icing sugar and cocoa powder. And some fudge. Yeah, that was free chocolate. That's a well-rounded diet. Fudge and icing. Did you put the icing on the fudge? No, I didn't even think about that. Could you put icing on fudge?

I mean, you could, but it would be a waste of time. Why? Right, because you, I mean, double chocolate, maybe not. Yeah, what am I saying? Oh, see, I would have gone Russian fudge, the not chocolate variety, and then put chocolate icing on it. And then I would be weird. Why?

I don't know. It just would be. It would be a lot of icing. I mean, I'm not saying no. I mean, I would try it, but. Yeah. Yeah. Well be. There's going to be a lot of icing. I mean, I'm not saying no. I'll try it, but... Yeah. Well, you're not going to put lemon icing... Not on Russian fudge.

Don't speak too soon. Don't speak too soon. I was about to say, you're going to put lemon icing on it, and then the minute the words came out of my mouth, I was like, actually, I think I might. I think I might put lemon icing on a Russian fudge.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Fletchford and Hayley's Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Silly little pole Silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Today's silly little pole does your lock screen on your phone feature your partner. This is after Kylie Jenner was spotted. Her phone has her and Timothée Chalamet on the front. She's having a smooch. People are liking this coupling. It's a bit weird.

It's a weird coupling. Shannon's all over it. She loves it. Oh, she loves it. Yeah, she's big bit weird. It's a weird couple. Nah, Shannon's all over it. She loves it. Oh, she loves it? Yeah, she's big thumbs up. She doesn't normally go for weedy white guys, though, does she? Skinny little Willy Wonka fellows. Does your lock screen feature your partner?

35% of people saying yes, 65% saying no. That's interesting. I thought it would be more. I think people without partners might have voted for no. Yeah, right. Which might have bumped those numbers up a little bit. They should have skipped. This wasn't for you.

Singles Day is coming up. That day's for you. Yeah. Isn't it the 11th of November, Singles Day in China? Big sales day, isn't it? Huge sales day. Huge sales day. So, yeah, 65% of people saying no, 35%.

Producer Jared has an interesting quandary. Oh, okay. Because you've got a lot of screen review in the midi. Yeah, we're at my cousin's wedding. She looks hot. Okay. Hey, you look pretty spiffy too. Yeah.

Your cousin looks hot. No, no, my girlfriend looks hot, but the way I originally worded it was ambiguous. Right, so you did make it sound like you don't think your cousin's hot. No, I don't think my cousin looks hot, but the way I originally worded it was ambiguous. Right, so you had to clarify that you don't think your cousin's hot. No, I don't think my cousin's hot, but I've got a very hot midi. You're allowed to say your cousin's good-looking, eh? You're like, I've got a good-looking cousin. Like if she wasn't your cousin.

I've got a hot cousin. Yeah. No, you can't say that. Way off track. Yeah, you've really dug a hole here, Jared. So I set the midi as my lock screen ages ago um but i've recently wanted to change it to like something cool from one of the animes i watch but is yeah don't rule your eyes um but like if i change it to some cartoon characters

she's gonna be like yeah yeah she will be she will be. She will be. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Carlin? Why don't you make your, like, lock screen the new photo and then your wallpaper her? Because the wallpaper's covered by apps. Yeah, but... It's hard to see what's back there. Also set up a couple of those little widgets that are photo widgets, which is YouTube. Or do a profile so that you have you in the midi

is like when you're at home, and then when you're at work, it's your nerd, whatever your nerd stuff. Yeah, that's a good idea. As soon as her phone's within Bluetooth region of yours, it changes to you and her, and then she leaves, and it's bloody My Hero Academia.

Cha-cha-cha! Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Right, okay. Would she say something if you changed it? Oh, yeah. I think she would. It's like changing your Facebook profile picture. You have a nice picture of you and your partner, and then you're like, you did something cool, if you changed it? Oh, yeah. I think she would. It's like changing your Facebook profile picture. You have a nice picture of you and your partner,

and then you're like, oh, you did something cool, so you change it. And they're like, hmm. Yeah, but they don't want the honeys coming at you. Well, that's the thing. If she's not in the photo. It's pretty much taking the wedding ring off, isn't it? Yeah.

Pretty much, yeah. I am DTS. I don't know what that stands for. You've just got a nerd photo. But some feedback. Alan said, Lock screen is cat wearing sunglasses. Home screen is partner.

So they've got different lock screen, home screen situations there. The partner will be all covered by widgets. Yeah. Laura says, Yeah, but only because he's holding our niece. Otherwise he wouldn't make the cut. Rough. Ashley, It's my make the cut. Rough. Rough. Ashley, it's my kids.

Never let it not be them. Yeah, my kids do that too. Constantly changing wallpapers on computers and phones. Get away. Get out of it. Get out of the settings. Alexandra says, mine are all nature. Beaches, scenery. Lame lock screen is my wallpaper because I'm lazy.

Yeah, right. Right. Get a nice picture of the partner and chuck it up there. Ashley says, my dog. Always my dog. I kiss her on the mouth more than I do my partner. Therefore, she deserves to be front for all to see. There's a lot of bacteria there. Yeah, that's a lot.

And they lick their butthole. They lick everything. They eat turds and vomit and gross. Even just the biscuits alone that they eat. The food alone is enough to me. It's a no-no for me. Rochelle said, I have my vision board as my lock screen to become a better person.

Oh, I wonder what's on the vision board. I'd like to see the vision board too. Like a nice holiday. Is it like goal kind of stuff? Is that what it is? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I've never had a vision board.

What's a vision board? Is that what you use it for? Things you want.'t know. I've never had a vision board. What's a vision board? Is that what you use it for? Things you want. Goals. Isn't it goals and things you want? Okay. Like a big pile of money? You could have that on your vision board?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's hope one of those just falls off the back of a bank truck. Yeah, fell off a bank truck. Famously, bank trucks, poorly secured. Yeah, they are. And just under tarpaulins, generally. You always leave your back doors open. Yeah. Angela said, I don't have a partner, so it features my secured. Yeah, they are. And just under tarpaulins, generally. You always leave your back doors open. Yeah.

Angela said, I don't have a partner, so it features my cats. Oh, you're nice. I would have kept that to myself. And Gaynor says, no, it's for losers. What? Do you know what I don't get? Straight up, that's very aggressive, Gaynor. People that have the default, like, you know, the default phone wallpapers?

Yeah. Live a little. Yeah, change it up. You can put anything on wallpapers? Yeah. Live a little. Yeah, change it up. You can put anything on that. Yeah, anything. And you're just putting the picture of the world on there that comes with your iPhone. Oh, the world's pretty cool though.

I live there. Yeah, I live there too. I live on that. I live there. That is actually quite a fun place to live. And quite beautiful. From a distance. Don't look too close.

We're messing it up. Come on. It's like default. Some space looks good. The default wallpapers. You've got to go. Branch out. Branch out. We're messing it up. Come on. It's like default. The default wallpaper. You've got to go branch out a little. Yeah, exactly.

Gotcha, gotcha. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. 200 foreigners have been kicked out of Bali this year to date. So... It's not... It was 188 for the entire year last year.

Oh, okay. They are cracking down though, aren't they? So only 12 of them were Australians. Really? Russians were the biggest perpetrators. 59 Russian foreigners are kicked out of Bali, 14 from the United States, 13 from the UK, 12 from Australia, 9 from Nigeria and New Zealand,

not on the list. We're well behaved. We're well behaved. We're well behaved. We're being very good boys and girls when we go around the world. But like you, I honestly thought Australians would be highly represented. Having been to Bali, I mean twice. So me. And you see, like I saw an Australian walk out of a bar absolutely blottoed,

get on a scooter, drive at 10 metres, crash, and then get up and then get back on the scooter. Like that kind of craziness. Well, if you fall off the horse, unless the horse is powered by a 50cc engine, then you're going to absolutely kill yourself because this doesn't sound like a helmet wearer either. No, I was not wearing a helmet. No?

Well, they also released the do's and don'ts of Bali. The do's are boring. Here are the don'ts. Don't touch sacred trees. Yeah. Don't engage in behavior that defiles sacred places, temples, idols, or religious symbols, such as climbing on them or taking indecent. That's what a lot of, apparently, a big amount of Russians that were kicked out.

Yeah. It was like Russian influencers being- Yeah, they get naked at these sites, don't they? Yeah. Yeah, climb over things. Okay. Very attractive. The photos they use as the examples.

Yeah, very... Okay, right, yeah. Don't trespass on sacred territories. Don't litter or pollute lakes, springs, rivers. Stick to the... Don't go chasing waterfalls or polluting them. Stick to the rivers and the lakes like you used to. Don't use single-use plastics.

Styrofoam, plastic straws, apparently they're trying to pull back on the single-use plastic, which is good because it's everywhere. Don't say offensive words in public. Engage in work or business activities without proper documentation or get involved in illegal activities such as trading illegal goods, drugs, sacred objects, cultural artifacts, et cetera. Yeah. They also established a hotline that anyone can call to dob in fellow tourists for bad

behavior and where it's happening and where they are. Wow. Okay. And now they've released an app that they're encouraging accommodation providers to use, hotels, resorts. Like, you know, when you go and you hire a villa in Bali. Yeah. And you stay there, they're asking the owners of those.

And it's not just if you're misbehaving. It's just that you are staying there. Oh, wow. Okay. So it's an app that you can dob people in. Well, no, it's not dobbing in. It's just keeping a track of you. Right.

So it might just be you were there and they're saying while it is, like, naughty, it could also get you out of trouble. Oh, right. If you were staying in, well, right. If you were staying in, well, if they say you were staying there and something on the other part of the island happens. Right. They're like, that was them.

It's like, well, I'm staying way over here. I was here. Yeah, right. But then what if you have a big drunk night with your mates? And you end up over there. And you end up somewhere, they'll just knock on the app on you. Yeah, yeah.

They can. Yeah. No, that would be the on the app on you. Yeah, yeah. You're right. Yeah. No, that would be the hotline more than anything. Right. But they're kind of just trying to, one of the terms they use is make Bali holidays about quality over quantity. Because people come, they eat heaps, they drink too much, they get carried away. Yeah, but that's like people like going to Bali. Yeah, well, Bali doesn't like having to clean up after you.

Yeah. So. Well, it can't have it both ways, so it can't have it. No, but it was, it's trying to make it a more family-friendly destination. Right. Okay. Which they said that's like, the end goal is to be able to. Also, recently they had their big, the police had one of those big press conferences where they lined up all of the adult fun

toys that they confiscated out of people's suitcases and had them on a table like you know, when they bust drugs and they have big piles of the adult fun toys that they confiscated out of people's suitcases and had them on a table, like, you know, when they bust drugs and they have big piles of drugs and money? They had a big table of dillies. And much like the big table of drugs, it's going to make the police Christmas party a whole lot better this year.

Yeah, because you know they're just taking all of those home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Dead old wipe and away you go. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, this was a famous story when all over the world, a New Zealand couple on a Singapore Airlines flight

demanding a refund because they had to sit next to a farty dog. I didn't know it was an... I never really looked too far into the story. I thought it was in America. I thought it was a domestic flight and it was an... I never really looked too far into the story. I thought it was in America. I thought it was a domestic flight and it was an emotional support animal. But it was international from Italy to... Yes, to Singapore.

Singapore. And then Singapore on to New Zealand. So the Farty Dog was Italy to Singapore. And it was in business. It was an emotional support animal. Which, if you've travelled in America, you just see the most wild animals on the plane. People always bring cats and dogs. Yeah. Ostriches,

iguanas. Yes. A little mini horse. Yeah, I think that's when they cracked down on it, when someone took a mini horse on a plane. They're like, you're taking the piss now. Was it a bulldog? It does sound, I'm unsure, but it was apparently slobbering over the man's

leg at some stage. Oh, no, no, no. Farting quite a lot. And they said to Singapore Airlines, we want a refund. Yeah. That noise the entire flight. And they've actually come through with a refund. They got it.

$1,400. Because they were in business class. Yeah. And so they were like, come on. That's not the same price as a business class ticket from Italy to Singapore. Because they said, can you do anything about this? And they were like, well, there's seats in economy. And they were like, no.

Which you wouldn't. Yes, man. You don't want to downgrade, would you? No. Yeah. No. So, yeah, initially I think they offered them a small amount of money and they said no, but they've come through with a $1,400.

And I think that's US. Right. So they've got a small amount of money and they said no, but they've come through with a $1,400. And I think that's US. Right. So they've got a bit of cash back. But yeah, I mean, this story went all over the world. I'd want the full fare. No, but you also flied in business. Flied? Flew.

I flied, did I? You flied. Great England. You've seen it. I've seen it. You've seen it. Yeah, I've been it. You flew.

I've done it. You would have flown all the way in business. It's not like you're not getting business class. Dog. Yeah've seen it. I've seen it. You've seen it. Yeah, I've been it. You flew. I've done it. You would have flown all the way in business. It's not like you're not getting business class. But it's a dog. Yeah, I know. But just ban stupid dogs. Well, I just didn't know you could take an emotional support animal on international flights. Do they have a loose quarantine?

No, but is it the Emirates Airlines that let you take those hawks? Is it falcons? Falcons. Yeah. You can take a falcon on Emirates. Yeah, which is cheating because they can fly there anyway. Not that fast. Well, not that fast, but they'll get there.

But yeah, I think you can, but that's more of a, that's a prestigious animal of high importance culturally for the people of the Emirates. Yeah. importance culturally for the people of the area. It's not just some farty bulldog that's slobbering on people as well. But I wanted to ask a question this morning. Is there something that you've

complained about and got a refund for? Oh yeah, shot for the stars for a refund and got it. Because you always hear of people complaining in these stories, but you never hear of the refunds do you? Unless it's like fair go and they're only doing that because of the media attention. Yeah, yeah. You know when the media get involved?

They don't want the bad press. Yeah. But yeah, I would love to know if anybody listening has ever complained about something. And actually got a refund. Do vouchers count? Because you know you'll be like, this product was not up to scratch and they're like, we'd like to send you more vouchers for the product. And depending on how not up to scratch it was, sometimes you're like, I don't want to do this product anymore.

I mean, sometimes people are complaining and they're not really justified. Oh, absolutely. But, you know, the customer is always right. If you're paying a fortune for business class, though, you want it to be. Yeah, you don't want a slobbery. Sarn slobbery dog. Farting dog, which was definitely a French bulldog. Was it a French bulldog?

I can't find any. But it's got dog, which was definitely a French bulldog. Was it a French bulldog? Well, I can't find any. But it's got all the hallmarks of a French bulldog. Well, the couple has finally got their refund from Singapore Airlines after sitting next to a farty dog. This farty dog's been great for content for radio, though. It really has. What have you sat next to on a plane? You know, do your dogs fart smell?

And now they've got the refund. We can do the, when did you get your refund? We've been dining out on this for weeks. Oh, thank you, dog. Thank you, dog. Thank you, news. But we want to know if you've ever managed to get a refund and what you've complained about.

Yeah. Refund. Cash refund or refund the purchase to you. Yeah, maybe you just got some gift certificates. Simon, what did you complain about? Many years ago, I bought a Fitbit, and I have a latex allergy, so I'd made sure I bought that.

It was, like, an expensive one that came out. It had zero latex in the strap. Yeah. So I complained about that because I started having an allergic reaction to it. I had, like, a large red kind of welting marks going up around my wrist. Oh, wow. So I called up Harvey Norman or Noel Emmons or whoever I bought it from,

and they told me I had to go talk to Fitbit about it. So I contacted the Fitbit support, and they went, oh, that's no good. We did have a faulty batch that went out or something along those lines. Wait, so some of their no latex branch had latex in it?

Yeah. The very thing promised. They said it was actually a problem that they'd heard about and they didn't ask any further questions than that and just went, if you want us to refund you,

can you just show us you destroying the strap and we'll send you a full refund. Wait, you had just sent proof of you destroying the strap? Yeah. That instantly to me is like a challenge. I would have set up a tripod, got like some kind of digger or like a flamethrower and made this amazing video. Wait, is it a digger or a flamethrower?

Well, I went digger and then I changed to flamethrower. I was going to say, what about a digger or a flamethrower? Well, I went digger and then I changed to flamethrower. I was going to say, what about a digger with a flamethrower mounted? Yes, yes. And then I would have sent them that video in the hope that it really impressed them. This also feels like, A, no questions asked. They know it's an existing brand, but you've got to destroy it. They don't want you going more public with it.

They just didn't want me reselling it, I think. Oh, right. Okay, weird. And they just gave you your money back? Yep. So they just asked for the receipt from the retailer I bought it from and then refunded that amount. They were like, thank God this guy's from New Zealand.

He can't sell us. And then did you trust them to send you one that didn't have latex in it? They didn't send me a product. Oh, they just gave you the cash back. Just money. Just money. How does that work with the latex? So you just carry your Fitbit around now, do you?

I got rid of it. I just threw it away. It had my strap, and I was like, I could rebuy the strap and then go and sell it. But I was kind of like, they've done really well by me. I'm not going to go. Yeah. How do you, is it hard having a latex allergy,

like rubber gloves, Connie's, like everything? There's so much latex in the world. It is, like, quite hard. Like, I started, when I first went into, like, uni and stuff, I started, like, doing physiotherapy, so all the health sciences, so I'm having to wear gloves all the time. Oh, yeah.

But a lot of places start doing latex-free gloves anyway, so I just go for those ones if they're on offer or try and bring my own gloves. Yeah, right, BYO gloves. Yeah. Yeah, nice, okay. All right. Thanks, Simon.

Good work. Good work. Good luck in the world. Keep your texts coming in, 9696. I want to know when you got a refund. I bought a gold seat on a bus. A what? A gold seat.

I think it means you can just go in like you pay so much and you just get unlimited travel. Oh, okay, right. For my daughter, but they put her

on the upstairs. Upstairs on the bus. I complained and they gave me a full refund. But she was still on the bus. The gold seat must have

been downstairs. Oh, okay. Wouldn't you want to be upstairs on the bus? I wouldn't be upstairs on the bus. The gold seat must have been downstairs. Oh, okay. Wouldn't you want to be upstairs on the bus? I don't want to be upstairs on the bus. I want to be upstairs on the bus. I can't see a single situation where I'd rather be downstairs on a bus. We want to know when you've got a refund, when you've maybe complained. Yeah.

The famous story from a few weeks ago, the couple sat next to a farting dog, have received a payout. Surely when you complain nowadays, more often than not, if you're justified, you'll get a refund or a replacement product rather than just being palmed off. Especially with all the bad prices. He says even though the dome

on this wallet he bought broke the first time he tried to open it to put his AirTag in, and despite the company continuing to advertise to him daily on Facebook about their wallets, have not replied to any of his messages. Yeah, I don't. This is why you don't buy.

I mean, would you even say that's leather? Oh, it's absolutely not leather. It's not leather. It's genuine leather. Yeah. Which is the lowest grade something can possibly be and still loosely be called leather. Yeah, this is a problem when you buy something off an online-only company.

Yeah. You can't march into the store. No, you can't. Ah, so we want to know when you got the refund. Alex. Alex, you got the refund. Yeah, I did. Hi, guys. Hi. What did you get a refund for? I had...

I love online shopping and I had a few parcels come through. One day a postie obviously was having a bit of a bad day and we came home to a parcel broken and all of the bottom handle of our glass front door was cracked. Looked back at the cameras and he had zipped the parcel so hard into the front door. Just chucked it. So we contacted both the supplier and the postman. They were like, oh, so sorry about that. We will organise it.

The postman had to come back and apologise in person. Apparently he did have a really bad day and he came past on his next run and was just apologetic about it. Oh, that's funny. Wow, okay. And so did they just pay for the whole thing? Yes, they did. Oh, that's good of them. That would totally be

me if I was a postie though. If you didn't have to get out just hiff it on the front door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you hang around and make sure it didn't But then what can you do once you've smashed someone's window? Leave a note. Yeah. I tripped. Oh no, because you had a camera. You had a camera, yeah. But then what can you do once you've smashed someone's window? Leave a note. Yeah. I tripped. Oh, no, it was your camera. You had a camera, yeah.

Imagine that. They'd written a note saying, I tripped and fell. I'm so sorry. But then you went to the camera and it's them huffing it at the door. Oh, amazing. Alex, amazing. Thanks for your call. Some messages in.

I once got a new bike because I crashed into a hedge on the drive home from the pub and bent the forks. It's not your fault. It was a lifetime guarantee. So I called them up and I said, I crashed into a hedge on the drive home from the pub and bent the forks. And it's not your fault. It was a lifetime guarantee. So I called them up and I said, yeah, I crashed a lifetime. And they, they gave me a new bike.

Really? Yeah. But that's not the people's fault. The bike people's fault. No, I know. I would have thought so. Okay.

Um, uh, I'm not even going to read that one. It's intense. And sounds like we could be inviting legal challenge if I did mention a brand that was mentioned there. Good editing on the fly for you. Thank you.

My phone was plugged in in the car and the phone charging port started smoking. The plug got burnt into the phone and the car. It like welded itself in. Oh my God, it did. I had it up, sent the phone away. They admitted fault. Sent me a brand new phone in the newest model and paid for the repairs.

Yes, good stuff. Yeesh. Some other ones. We contracted a builder to flatten the garden and put in a retaining wall. Cost $50,000. He completely screwed it up. Unbelievably, he refunded $40,000.

What? How? How? How? Tradies and builders don't do that. They don't do that. They don't do that. They've already spent that money.

That money's going towards the next project. That's crazy. That they've picked up at the same time that they're still doing your project even though they haven't

finished your project. Maybe they didn't want a one-star review on builder's crack. Yeah. We got a refund from Uber Eats because the bike guy

picked up our ramen. Now, you shouldn't be picking up ramen on a bike. On a bike? No, that's sloppy. That's sloppy. Well, when they handed us the plastic bag, the broth was pouring out of the bottom of the plastic bag.

Oh, right, yeah. And because he rattled it around, the lid had unwedged itself and all the broth was gone from the ramen. Just a little hack there. Just cut the corner of the plastic bag and just tip it in your mouth. Yeah. Did I tell you what happened with my Uber last week? No.

I ordered it when we were in Wellington. I ordered an Uber from the airport and it said it was going to be $18. in your mouth. Did I tell you what happened with like a moosey? My Uber last week? No. I ordered it when we were in Wellington I ordered an Uber from the airport and it said it was going to be $18. And then did they make you walk to the other side of the airport?

I walked to the other side of the airport but I was aware that was a thing and I ordered it and it said $18 and it was like cool on the way and then I got to out of the Uber

and it was like thanks $39. What? And I was like what? And I messaged them and they said because this is your first time experiencing And I was like, what? And I messaged them and they said, oh, because this is your first time experiencing Surge, I was like, sweetie horn, sweetie, sweetie darling, no.

Yeah. It wasn't Surge when I clicked it. Yeah, that's cheeky, isn't it? Very cheeky. The cheeky. The cheeky indeed. So they refunded the Surge. I went to get on my beam scooter the other morning at like 5 a.m.

As I always do every day. Yeah. And they wanted to charge me a surge. I've heard their surge on e-scooters now. Because normally it's 49 and they wanted to charge me 59 cents a minute. Which is like, I know it's only 10 cents. It's a principle. It's a principle.

They were like, it's surge. It's also not a surge at 5 o'clock in the morning. I literally, I drove past like 30 beam scooters not being used. I didn't see a single human being on the streets. I'm like, how are you doing this? Cheeky. Show me your bloody workings here, beam. Yeah.

Why all of a sudden the Surge? I got charged $100 per person cancellation fee for a restaurant because we didn't show up. I called them the next day and said we'd crashed our car. Lie. Got a full refund. Oh, yeah. That's good. It would have been great if they were like, show me the photos. Play ZM's

Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's. Well, at the end of last week, I was in Wellington for a couple of days. My auntie got a Queen's Service medal and then stayed on in Wellington and caught up with some friends and coincidentally, blow me down, who's in town? One of my favourites,

Maddie McLean. So on Friday, I message on Thursday, we find out he's there and I say, how about we do breakfast tomorrow? Was he there on the taxpayer's dollar? Why would he have been there on the taxpayer's dollar? For work? No, he was there, on the taxpayer's dollar? For work. No, well, he was there, but he was there for... So he's tagged on a...

No, it wasn't a tag. Team NZ's not fully taxpayer funded. You've got to stop this rhetoric. I'm just... You've got to stop this rhetoric. If he's getting a free weekend on the taxpayer's dollar, we need to know. He was down for a big client.

The breakfast got a big client. Oh, right. Was he wooing them? He was wooing the client. Oh, he was wooing the client. He was down for a big client. The breakfast got a big client. Oh, right. Was he wooing them? He was wooing the client. Oh, he was wooing the client. He was in charge of wooing the clients. If you could have sent anybody to woo clients, it could have been Matty McLean. Of course.

Charming. Absolutely palatable. Absolutely. Never met someone that doesn't like Matty McLean in person. Once they met him, he charmed me. Very charming. So we were having breakfast with Matty McLean, and there was a couple of things he said. It was quite loud.

I was like, maybe lower our volumes. He loves a goss. He loves a goss. Yeah. But you know what? When we left and we were walking away, Sade was like, oh, Matty was talking quite loud. A couple of those names people might recognise,

like Fletch does. I always do this. You're shocked? And I said, yes. I've been meaning to talk to Fletch about his gossip volume. He doesn't drastically reduce volume while gossiping. Being in a cafe is like being in an Uber or a taxi. You just forget that there's someone else there.

Yeah. Like the driver. Yeah. But I always know there's someone behind me. Even if I'm in a booth where I can't see who's behind me, I'm assuming there's someone back there with good ears. And they're going to say, you'll never guess what I overheard at breakfast.

Yeah, 100%. That so-and-so was saying about silence. I did actually the other day when we were having breakfast, I had to check behind the booth behind us to make sure no one was there before we had a gossip. Right. So see, I'm getting better. Good, always check with your gossip.

Well, it wasn't the gossiping that was the problem. When we were sat down for breakfast, we were mid-conversation, and someone sat at the table next to us. Now, I immediately was like, I know that person. It was Ruby. Now, Ruby, you will remember, drew a few very poignant illustrations of New Zealand at crucial moments over COVID

when the March shooting happened in Christchurch at the mosque. She just had this way of these beautiful illustrations capturing a moment. Yeah. And New Zealand were like, I don't know, that makes me feel better or I don't know. Bipartisan, it was all in the politics and everything was taken out of it and it was a human reaction to something

in an illustrated form. Yeah, she's very talented. Very talented. I follow her on Instagram and when producer Caitlin left, we got her to do a picture of all of us. Correct. So when she sat down,

I got my phone out and I said to Sade, I was like, that's. Well, you just messaged her. You didn't conversate. No, I didn't conversate. I said, that's Ruby sitting beside us. Yeah, right. That's the illustrations.

Okay. Sade messages back, leave her alone. Bro, what? She didn't even want you to say hello. Because she was eating. Oh, right. Okay. Sade's like, leave her alone.

Yeah, okay. And I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, you always talk to people at the worst moment. You, like, never want to talk to anybody, but then when you choose to talk to someone, it's when they've got a mouthful, and you can just see them going, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know when you ask them a question,

they've got a mouthful, and they're, like, pausing you, and then they're chewing too hard, and then they swallow, and they could choke. So she's like, leave her alone. So we have a conversation, And then I get up. I go to the bathroom. And when I come back, Maddie and Sade have got up and they're moving away. So I'm like, ugh.

And so I go up to them and then Sade's like, you better pay. So I paid. And then I was like, I'm going to go back and say hello. She's like, you can't go back now. You've left the table. Well, you've already left. You can't go back. You can't go back.

Yeah, I'm kind of with her on that. And I was like, I'm going to go back and say hello. And Sade's like, don't go back and say hello. And I was like, damn it. And so then we say hello. And Shadow's like, do you want to go back and say hello? And I was like, damn it. And so then we walked out. But you also didn't want to look rude. Didn't want to look rude. You just completely ignored her.

Exactly. And then I said to Maddie, I was like, when we got outside, I was like, should I go back in? And Maddie's like, oh, maybe. I don't know. And Shadow's like, you can't go back in now. You're even further than you were the last point. You've gone outside now.

Yeah. Yeah. So we were walking and I said. It's also going to look like you were the last point. Yeah, you've gone outside now. Yeah. Yeah, so we were walking and I said, it's also going to look like you didn't recognise her and then Maddie told you and then, yeah. Yes, or I went outside and had to check. Yeah. Is it them?

And you find them and you're like, you look at their face and then you look at them from outside the cafe and you're like, it looks like the same person. It looks like, yeah. And so you go back and then Shadow's like, don't. And then we're walking and I open up my phone and I open up Instagram and I start messaging.

And I'm just like, I'm so sorry. Here's the story. And Shadow's like, don't. And then we're walking and I open up my phone and I open up Instagram and I start messaging. And I'm just like, I'm so sorry. Here's the story. And Shadow's like, who are you messaging? I was like, I'm messaging you to say you wouldn't let me go back and say hello. Shadow's like, what are you doing that for? Don't do it. Just don't do it.

Just let's pretend all this is done. I feel like you should message. I have messaged. Yeah, right. And she said the same thing. She's like, when she sat down, we were mid-story and she thought it was a business meeting. Wow, this is a goss.

Because Maddie was in a suit and I was in a hooded sweatshirt. That's how I have my business meetings. She said, I thought it was a business meeting so I didn't want to interrupt. And then when you got up and walked away and you came back and you went straight. And I was like, well, then we were both like slightly introverted people, not sure on when to just barge in for a hello'sies.

So it's sorted. Right. But Sade's not happy. Well, Sade is just like, you've got to get better at this. And I said, you've heard me at every stage. I kept checking with her. Yeah. When's the best stage to do this?

And she just said to avoid it altogether. But anyway, it's sorted now. It's sorted now. But awkward. But yeah. Yeah. I don't know how it is. I don't know where we've left it. Yeah. I think it's sorted now. It's sorted now. But awkward. But yeah. Yeah. I don't know how it is. I don't know where we've left it.

Yeah. I think it's okay. Who paid for lunch? Did Matty put that on the TVNZ Critic app? So Matty went first and just paid for what he had. Did he? He didn't even offer. Didn't even offer.

I mean, we were two thirds of the people and we had better breakfasts than that. Fair enough. But it would have been nice. As you say, he was there on the taxpayer's teat. He doesn't need to be paying for you two. No. Next on the show. The most. He doesn't need to be paying for you two. No. Next on the show. The most pointless argument you can hear today.

I feel strongly about this. I do too. Very strongly. But I defy you to find a worse argument you'll hear next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Before the show today, when we were like, what are we doing on the show today? What are we doing?

What was everybody up to? We got talking because I think I saw this online as, oh no, it wasn't online. It was Shannon talked about the fact that she was talking to some people. You did not go to high school with these people. No, so it's my flatmates and we all went to high school in different cities.

So one flatmate grew up in Taranaki. I grew up in Auckland and the other's in Christchurch. Is it obvious which one grew up in Taranaki? I grew up in Auckland, and the other's in Christchurch. Is it obvious which one grew up in Taranaki? Yeah, absolutely. Excuse me, I'm right here. This is very rude. Stringy hair. It's in the finals for one of the towns of the year. I didn't see your town in town of the year, Vaughan.

We don't need it. Meth town of the year, maybe. Whoa. We don't need that sort of backup. Yeah, shots fired. So, sorry, Taranaki, you grew up in Auckland. Yeah, and then

at Christchurch. And where it started was the Taranaki friend admitted that when she was at school, the classes you went to were called, instead of periods,

which I think most of the country calls it. First period, second period, third period. Yeah, she had spells. What? So like first spell,

second spell. And I was like, did you go to Hogwarts? Like, what is this? But she went to an all-girls school and apparently having periods was too. Oh, it's been cancelled. Yeah, so they had spells and then it just turned. So there was no confusion as to. What do you call it, a block or a scepter?

Blocks. That's what we called them. That was the, that was the, you called them periods, but blocks was the secondary. When your first block would be morning and then second block afternoon? I don't know. We just went with periods. Yeah, we had periods.

And then it became a bigger chat about houses at school and how many you had and what colours they had. This is where I am very passionate about what Shannon's about to say. Shannon, your school, what was it called? Howitt College. Howitt College. How, what was it called? Howard College. Howard College. How many houses did it have? Six.

Too many. Yeah, we had four. It's always four. It's always four. Four is the magic number for how many school houses there should be. Oh, wait, Jared, you went to a posh private school. I wish Hayley was here today with her because she went to the private Queen Margaret's.

Yes, I went to a posh private school. How many houses did you have? We had four. Apollo, Jupiter, Mariner, Saturn. And they were green, red, yellow, blue. Green. Aren't they normally named after famous people? What did you do?

You'd go for the stars. Space stuff. That's cool. We were out of this world. Yeah. Shannon's audible groan there gave the response for the country. Why six? I guess it was a big school.

How many people? You just have more people in four houses. You don't need six houses. I guess because you had like the deans and stuff. I don't know. But I was in the pink house. Then here's my second problem. Four because it's the primary colours in green.

That's how you colour the houses. That was sick. It was so good for dress-up days, because you'd just be a fairy, and there was all these costumes. The Pink Panther was our guy. Pink, okay. Wait, so you breached copyright for your mascots as well? Yeah, absolutely. What were the other colours of the houses? So there was

the OGs, like you're saying, and then there was a purple house. Purple! And there was an orange, and then pink. So there was like the OGs, like you're saying, and then there was a purple house. Purple? And there was an orange and then pink. So there was no yellow. There was an orange and then pink. There should be a yellow. Always yellow, blue, red, green, right? I've never heard of a school having six houses.

What about like the biggest high school in the country? What's it? Rangitoto. Okay. How many houses does that have? In the meantime. Someone message in. My ex-girlfriend it? Rangitoto. Okay. Wait, how many houses does that have? In the meantime. Someone message in. My ex-girlfriend was a Rangitoto girl. I believe they had four.

I believe four. See, if they can be the biggest school in the country and still only have four, there's no reason how a college needs four houses.

And if there's more kids, there's just more kids in each house. How a college should do a competition where the losing houses are cut from the register and they're reassigned?

Oh, that was mine though. Kind of like a football league or a rugby league. The bottom tier teams are relegated and they have to fight for their existence. Well, the thing is, I got the choice of which house to be in because my brother went to the school before me. So I got to pick and I picked the pick house.

You don't get to pick. You always just have to go to the same one as your family. No, I got the choice and I got to choose if I wanted to be in his tutor group or homeroom or whatever you called it. Oh, this sounds like

some strings were pulled. Someone said, my school had eight houses. No! Here we go. Okay, what school had eight? I went to a private school and we had ten.

No! Oh my God, what have you done? No, no, darling, darling, we're talking about houses at school, not how many rentals your parents have. Darling, darling, darling. Ten houses, that is ridiculous.

There's not enough colours. Because you imagine like a school sports day with your houses and there's ten houses. That's ridiculous. That's too many houses. That's too many. That's too many. It's four houses. It's the Hogwarts formula.

It just works. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Blue It's four houses. It's the Hogwarts formula. It just works. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Blue, green, red. Yeah, see, Hogwarts is blue, green, red, yellow. Someone said we've got five houses. You can't have an odd number of houses. You've either got to have four or six. You've got to have four or six.

Six is better than five. Which was the bung house at your school? Alexandra. What colour? The red. Which was the bung house at your school? Alexandra. It was the red. Ours was yellow satin. We were yellow, we were Campbell. The Borders always used to win. Did they have their own house? They had their own house, yeah. I think they did.

And they always won because their parents don't love them. I don't know why. Maybe it was their driving to impress their parents. Yeah, they were like, maybe if't know, their parents don't love them. I don't know why. Maybe it was their drive in to impress their parents. Yeah, they were like, maybe if my house wins, dad will love me and let me live in the family house again. Yeah, 100%. Not just palm me off and call me

the boy when I am home. Maybe he'll remember my name. And so they strive and they strive and they strive and strive and guess what? Dad still doesn't love them. That's tough. Okay, my school had to get rid of my house and we all got reassigned so we had five houses. Did it get turned into a meth lab or something?

Like, what happened? You don't get rid of a house to put yourselves at odds because then versus someone's always going to be left out. Queen Margaret had five houses. This absolutely stacks up. This explains Hayley, doesn't it? This explains it. Glamours, Berwick, Sterling, Bremner and Lockie were the houses.

My mum's just messaged me on WhatsApp. They had five and one of them was purple. Yeah, our purple was purple and then they had a secondary colour of yellow and I was pink with a secondary colour of black. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. Primary colour and that's it. You can't have a secondary colour.

It was so on like dress up day, the boys like didn't have to wear pink or they didn't have to wear purple. So they could be purple and yellow. Yeah, right. They should have pushed the pink. This should be regulated by the government. I believe so.

I will vote in the next election for whoever does, made a four house rule. It has to be four houses. Or six. Not five. Do whatever you want in your chartered schools. It's out of my area.

Wild. Carleton Boys High has six houses. It's too many houses. No, it's too many. Four houses. Our school had four houses and they all had names that were after British soldiers involved in the New Zealand land wars. Colonisers.

Yeah, we did too. Yeah. I'm pretty sure all ours were named after streets, but those streets were named after... Yeah, white colonisers. Colonisers, yeah. Fact of the day is next on the show. Oh, my high school didn't have houses,

apart from the one we lived in because we were homeschooled. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. houses, apart from the one we lived in because we were homeschooled. Play. Just a quick touch on school houses. And we were just talking. Oh, sorry, Siri. Shush, we're not talking about you. Siri making a play for Hayley's job. We're just talking about school houses and how any more than four is too many

and it should always be the primary colours plus yellow. That's the rule. Hated response. Keep it simple. Keep it simple. Hated response. We've just learned that at Carl Wayne's college. Which college did you go to?

Oh, you don't want to say? William Colenso College. Colenso College. William Colenso. William Colenso. William Colenso College. Who was he? He's an advertising agency, isn't he?

He's an advertising agency. He did some treaty stuff. He translated it. Good treaty stuff. Oh, he did a terrible job. He did a terrible job. They didn't have Google Translate back then. He did a shocking job.

He didn't blame it. Squealy put it at his feet from both parties involved. It was a translation. No, his name was Bill the guy guy that, Bill Colenzo. William Colenzo. William Colenzo. Maybe it was him. I feel like you need to do some research

before you slag off the high school. But he, oh no, not him. Your school, you had houses, how many? Four. Correct number. Well, the good correct number, yeah. What colours? Blue, purple, yellow, orange.

Terrible, terrible. Now you didn't have a red. What was the reason you didn't have a red? It might be gang affiliated. They were in mongrel mob territory, so they couldn't have red. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

But they put kids in blue? It was sky blue. Also, haven't they got yellow now? Isn't that killer beans? Everybody's got a colour. You can't win now. You can't win, can you? Yeah.

All right, 8.31, it's time for... Fact of the day, day first day in Ancient Rome Week. It's Ancient Rome Week. It's Ancient Rome Week A Fact of the Day because everybody's always talking about the Ancient Roman Empire. How men always think of Ancient Rome at least once a week. How often? How often do you think?

And now that it's been brought to our attention that we do think about it, I'm thinking about it even more. Yeah, same. Than I would normally. Yeah. Like I had a video of ancient aqueducts pop up the other day and I was like, this is amazing. That was some phenomenal engineering.

This was ages ago. Like how did they know all of this? Some phenomenal engineering. Well, no, I've gone for weird stuff that they did in the Roman Empire. Yeah, good. For this week's Fact of the Week, our theme, the ancient Roman Empire. Today's Fact of the Day is charioteers, people that drove chariots, and gladiators drank an energy drink made of goat dung and vinegar.

What? Yeah. Goodness. I know. Red bull gives you wings. Goat dung gives vinegar. What? Yeah. Goodness. I know. Red Bull gives you wings. Goat dung gives you speed, apparently. Yeah. Was it like some kind of gut kombuchery drink?

Well, according to- Fermented somehow? Pliny the Elder, who was a Roman author, naturalist, and natural philosopher, goat dung could be used not only for patching up wounds in the case of an emergency, like a poultice, but also mixed with vinegar to make an energy drink. Yuck. Yeah, gross, eh? The best dung was collected in spring when the grass that they were eating was the newest, new growth, full of the nutrients that came spring, and dried out and then powdered and mixed with vinegar and could be drunk.

And this also was by Nero, the emperor of Rome at one stage. Nero drank it because it gave him extra strength and speed in the Tagerium, which was like an equestrian training place for like war equestrian, not like a sandy square where a horse goes clip, clop, clip, clop. Yeah.

Okay. Nowadays, like it was a far more war adjacent training. So that's something to think about if you're tucking into your monster energy drink or Red Bull or V or whatever you're doing, you could just be making your own. I've got a couple of goats. It is spring.

Join me at the upcoming QMU Summer Markets. I think you'll get shut down by the council health department. Oh, do you reckon? If you keep that up. Oh, because I didn't prepare it in a commercial kitchen. Great point. I will take it to a commercial kitchen. Get a commercial kitchen. And dry it out and mix it with vinegar. So today's... It was basically

like the Roman equivalent of a wellness influencer. Yeah. Well, my dogs love it. Are they Roman? Possibly. They'll eat goat poo. Yeah.

When the goats have been on the lawn over winter. And then they'll go speeding around the room. They'll run. Yeah. Maybe there is something to it. Maybe not worth trying though. So today's fact of the day is if you would like the recipe for an ancient Roman energy drink,

you are going to need some goat dung and vinegar. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do. Play Zed-In. Let's go to Nelly. Play Zed-In. I was having some friends in Wellington on Friday night, good friends of ours, and they're board game people. Oh, are they? Board game people.

Shaday and I. Not board game people. Yeah. I'm a board game person. I'm a game person. As long as the rules aren't too complicated. I can't sit down and it's like, okay, this is a new game called Settlers of Catan, which is the new game.

And I understand for people who love it and play it, it's not that complicated. But for dumb down here, there's a lot to take on board. A game like that or Monopoly, you know you're in for a long time. I don't like those games. I want to be able to tap out. You want to do a few rounds and a quick one so after three rounds you can get out

versus playing one round that takes eight hours. Let's just play Snap. Well, this game we played is called Hues and Cues. Hues and Cues. And basically... Producer Shannon's shaking

and nodding her head. She must love this game. It was a cool game. It was like the spectrum of colours and they each had a square assigned to them. Yeah.

And there was a code like A, B, C, D, E, F, G across the top and then numbers down the side. This is already too complicated for me. So it could be like C18. Yeah. So you I'm playing. I pick up a card. It's got four colours on there. I pick one. Now I can't

say that colour. Okay. I'm also saying blue is pointless because there's a thousand, well not a thousand, there might be like 25 blues on there. So blue narrows it down a little bit but not enough. You have to pick, first round, one word to describe that colour. Oh, okay.

One word. Like ocean. Could I say the ocean? The sky? You could say sky but the sky has so many blues. Is it dark? What is this bloody stupid? Well, so that's the challenge is coming up with the right, single right word.

Now, everybody else playing puts their counter on the square they think you're talking about. I like this. I like this. Then there's the second round where you get to use two words to describe the colour. But you can't say something like lighter sky.

You can't use a word that would point someone who's in the right direction closer to it. It has to be two words unrelated to like the colour to darker, to lighter, richer or whatever. So you have to come up with two words to describe the colour. Even

better. Right. But if people are already around the area or someone's bang on it, the way we played it, you didn't have to do a second round. Okay. Because you get points by how close people are and they get points by how close they are. Right. So this is a fun game. Yeah, right.

But how does it cause an argument? My friend Johnny and I were in sync. Like there were three rounds, three or four rounds, where literally I put my counter on the exact square he was talking about and vice versa. Okay. However, Sade lacked. But this is classic her.

Unless she can think of it. It's like, wait, wait. Cranium caused an argument And cranium's absolutely banned from our house Yeah you haven't played that in a decade It'll be like hum And it'll be like And I'll be like

I don't know Keep going keep going She'll be like I give up If you don't have it by now You're not going to get it No I will Just keep going No

And that's So one for example She had a green We didn't know what kind of green We didn't even know it was a green. We didn't know the colour. And she said Kermit. Now that's a very specific green if you're a fan of Kermit the Frog.

Yeah, it is. Original Muppet show, Kermit the Frog, a very specific green. Is she allowed to say Kermit? She's allowed to say Kermit. Oh, that's good. Okay. So we all kind of surround the same green because we're like, that's Kermit's green.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's not, in her mind, that's not Kermit's green. And then I'm, well, pick two more words to describe it. Okay. And she says, right, Kermit. Meaning go to the right. No, you can't do that. You can't do that.

You haven't even played and you know the rules. I know you can't do that. You can't do that. How did she take that? She didn't take that well. No. No. She didn't take that well, and she couldn't think of another word to describe it.

And she'd already said it. Right. Okay. So we knew it was to the right. So we, and then next round, Johnny said, what did he say? The first purple, he said something along the lines of like Cadbury. And then the next one one he said vivacious. No, something else.

And he said vivacious Cadbury and I put it right on the one. Oh, yeah, good. She's like, how did you get vivacious Cadbury but not right Kermit? No, because that's allowed. That's just saying a really bright, nice purple. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, hey, mate, you don't need to explain it to me. I know.

I mean, we get it. If you're brave enough, next time you say, should I dare to explain it to her? I'll be all right. I, hey, mate. You don't need to explain it to me. I know. I mean, we get it. If you're brave enough, next time you say, should I dare to explain it to her? I'll be all right. I'll be all right. But just add it to the list of another board game that we can't play. It's banned. Yeah.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The show thanks to McCafe. Start your day with a great tasting McCafe coffee. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. I just got

targeted advertising for an expensive perfume. Side note, before we talk about the scam, we went into this shop,

this Mecca. Yes. Is that a shop? Yes, it is a shop. Yep. And I was walking around. My wife and I

traded off. She's like, I'll come into your shops if you come into my shops. Oh my God, I felt like I was in a hetero couple at the weekend because I went.

It was so horrible. I went shopping with Hayley in Melbourne. Oh, yeah. It sucks, dude. And I sat in the seat in this woman's shop that men sit in when they're waiting for their girlfriends and wives to try on a million dresses. Yeah. Yeah. It sucks. Yeah. It was a big black sack. No, it wasn't. I dresses. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks.

Yeah, it was a big black sack. No, it wasn't. I told her off. It was a floral. It was actually floral. Yeah, yeah. It was going against her current looks. But yeah.

That's not goth. Oh my God, how do you do it? No thanks. I prefer shopping on my own. But it's good going shopping with them because I get to sit there and be like, like that, and that really deters her spending money. Okay, right. What do you think of this? Hence why she probably sneaks off and shops when you're not around.

Bingo, that's it. But I saw that expensive perfume. Remember Hayley was like, I've got that bottle of expensive perfume. She wouldn't tell us how much it cost? Really? I thought it was a typo. Really? I was like, decimal point.

Yeah, right. Oh, my God. Nuts. Out of control. Nuts. Okay. Anyway, it's a typo. Really? I was like, decimal point. Yeah, right. Oh, my God. Nuts. Out of control. Nuts. Okay. Anyway, it's a whole thing. Oh, and my wife said, because then my deal was,

I dragged her into like the nerd shops, the comic shops, the anime shops. Yep. And she said, I've got a question. Yeah. And I was like, great. She's interested. She's like, why is everything so sexual in here? Because there's nerds?

And she raised a very good point. I said, nerds get horny. They do, yeah. That's the end. Even nerds have needs. Of our shopping adventure. Now we are going to the producer's booth to hear about a new Facebook scam.

And this is to be avoided. Remember, do not pass judgment on an older person or a person in your life who's not as tech savvy as you if they ask for help. Because if you laugh at them or make fun of them, they won't come to you next time. And your inheritance will be gone. Your inheritance will be gone. Yeah then your inheritance will be gone.

Yeah. Just like that. Great. That's great advice. Okay, so this is a Facebook marketplace scam. Facebook marketplace. Of course it is. So you are selling an item.

Someone says, hey, I want to buy this. I will arrange the shipping myself. And you go, that's really handy. That's going to save me money. It's so nice of them. I know. And then they send you a link which goes to a page that either looks like, no, usually looks

like NZ Post. Okay. But it asks you to log in. Sus. Don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah, but my account's there. I'd log in for my account. But it's not actually NZ Post. Is it? Because I don't have an NZ Post account. Do you not have a Real Me? Yes, I've got one of those.

Yeah, you can use that. Mine's about to expire. Why? Did you get that thing saying your RealMe's about to expire? Yeah, I did, and then I expired, and I didn't exist for a bit. Because either it was a scam at first, but then it said don't click any links to do with this. Just go and log in as you normally would.

Right, okay. So that's how you know it's not. But the other form of the scam is that they say, yep, cool, it's all sorted. Just pop your bank details in so that you can get the money that I've paid you for the shipping. Oh, and they get you. That's how they get you.

Right. Don't do it. Don't do it. And then they have your bank detail, your login details for your bank. Yeah, and then they slowly, slowly, slowly take like $2 every couple weeks and you don't see it happening. I would notice. I would notice that. You'd notice $2. I'd notice $2 every couple weeks and you don't see it happening. I would notice. I would notice that. You'd notice $2. I'd notice $2.

Okay. Just remind me of what I... Oh, I do. I always look at my bank apps. I'm like, where's that? How do you notice $2? Because I would see it and I'd be like, that's a suspiciously low amount. Do you go into the account to see... I just do that thing where it's a quick check of the balances

and I'm like, yeah, sweet. That's enough for a sausage roll. I'd notice. I'd notice. I'm about to buy a sausage roll and it's telling me that pay wave's going to cost me more or credit card so I need to use the Airpods. So I flick open the app and it's like Airpods account and it's like, yeah,

that's enough. I wouldn't notice $2 going. You don't like give a glance over your... Yeah, yeah. At the end of the month where I'm like airpods account and it's like yeah that's enough i wouldn't notice two dollars going but you don't like if it glances over your yeah yeah like at the end of the month where i'm like where's it all gone yeah and you bet yeah by the end of the month you wouldn't notice two dollars in a month's worth of transactions but you would if it was like two dollars every day yeah 100 i'd say hey if there's going to be a small amount of money leaving my account for absolutely nothing that That's the bank's job. Yeah. And if it's not the bank taking it,

then I'd notice. Well, it's a scam doing the rounds, so just watch out for that one. Oh. Who did you tell me you were? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun

I've ever had on a show. Ah, not for me. Oh, okay. Nowhere even close. Nowhere. Okay. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't.

No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating? ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.