ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th January 2024

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Haunted by a Sandwich   Vaughan's Curtains   Silly Little Poll!   Final Rankings: Chinese Zodiac   Hayley's Horny Book Club!   Newsreader Brin's WILD story   Hairdresser Hayley   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchvaughan and Hayley. Happy Friday, it's two minutes past six. Yeah, it's Friday, baby. And you know what?

After a beautiful week hanging out together on this radio station, I get to spend the whole weekend with you, with my boys. We've got a wedding. My hard-working boys. We're all going away. And for most of the Upper North Island, it's a long weekend. Anniversary Day on Monday. Must be nice.

We'll be here. We'll be working through, won't we? Yeah, we will. Just got to think about the other people. So we're all packed. Now, you guys are sharing an Airbnb. Yep. Yep.

Who have you sorted out? Yep. Like breakfast and who's taking? Okay, good. I've got breads and Vaughan's got eggs. Okay. So that's bricky. Who's made the booking?

Whose name is it under? Sade. Yeah. Good. You never put the booking under your name if it's a group of people, a large group. I plan on soiling the sheets. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And it's not my problem. Yeah. No, I'm really looking forward to the weekend. It's going to be a lot of fun. You get to celebrate love, you know. Love just, anyone can love anyone. It's two men.

Yeah. It's 2024, isn't it? It's 2024, yeah. Very progressive. Oh, I'm shocked, it? 2024, yeah. Very progressive. I'm shocked, but I'm on board. I'll tell you what. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Why not? Yeah. You know? You do what you do. It's your thing. Okay. Yep.

Who am I to say? Yes. The top six coming up. Come on. What is it? What are you, why are you being a little, you're being coy.

All I said on the show so far has been yes. Did you guys notice? Yeah, I did. All I've said, positive affirmations, didn't it feel good? Yes, it did.

So now you're making me stop. I don't know if it felt good. You were just, now you made me tease what's on the show. I felt like Fletch and I were doing quite a lot of lifting.

There you go. Oh, he's back. Yep. Yep. A whale vomit, which has a name, am-bam-bam-bam-bam-bam. It's a very important part

of perfumes. What is it called? Ambergris. Oh, yes. Ambergris. Ambergris? No, I think it's ambergris, like pinot gris. Oh, okay. Yes is silent. You don't say the S.... Ambergris. Oh, yes. Ambergris. Ambergris? No, I think it's ambergris, like pinot gris.

Oh, okay. Yes is sign of... You don't say the S. Pinotgris. Pinotgris, that's how I say it. Yeah. Oh, my God. You two uneducated swine.

Has been found. I've got the top six other vomits that you could find this weekend that definitely won't be worth $20,000. Because that's what it is. It's whale vomit, isn't it? Well, it's this thing that kind of like solidifies in their stomach and then they regurgit. Right.

So it's whale vomit. And it's worth a lot of money. Yeah, it's worth heaps of money. Next on the show. A hundred years ago, a newspaper predicted. Now it sounds like I'm not doing something relevant. I've got news. Something to share from a hundred years ago.

A newspaper predicted what the world would be like in 2024. There was a newspaper in Calgary. Is that Canada? Yes. Calgary, Canada. Yeah. That in 1924 printed an article that was... In 1824. 1924. 1924. Oh, that was- In 1824.

1924. 1924. Oh, that's 100 years ago. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. I know. I know. It feels too close to be 100 years ago,

which means time is moving fast. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Yeah. 2004 was 20 years ago. Anyway, it was making some predictions about what the year 2024 would look like. See, I love reading these retrospectively,

but it's weird when an article like that comes out today and they're like, in 10 years, in 20 years. And you're like, no, I don't want that. It's so strange because we've already moved so far. But did they think that they'd come so far in 1924? If you look back into the 1800s, they would have thought that they were super advanced. Well, industrial age, right?

They would have been hooning along. Yeah, and just thinking like, wow, couldn't get better. A 20-year-old in 1924 might have gone to the end. Nah, they would have been too young to go to World War I, but they would have seen cars. Yeah. Yeah, seen cars take over. Yeah, totally.

I know, it's bizarre. So here's some things they got right to start with. One, automobiles will travel on speedways through the centre of town. Oh, motorways and freeways. That's a motorway. Yeah, okay. I like speedway a whole lot better. They said they'll be ever-present on built motorways

through city centres with multiple lanes and triple-decked roads. Now, we don't have the triple-decked roads, but in America they do. Some people, yeah, they do, yeah. When they go over the top. Now, that very much has come true. Okay, another thing they got true, apartment buildings will be 100 storeys tall

and farmland will be reduced. Yeah, farmland's been reduced. Couldn't be more spot on, especially and farmland will be reduced. Yeah. Couldn't be more spot on, especially in a city like we live. Yeah. 100 storeys tall is very tall. What is the tall? What's the Wiz Khalifa? Wiz Khalifa.

The Wiz Khalifa is very tall. Yeah, it's the Wiz Khalifa. It's the tallest building and it's in Dubai. Is it? I've been up it. There is a Wiz. I would know. You've been up the Wiz.

No, you're thinking of the rapper, Burj Khalifa. Oh, sorry. Black and yellow, black and yellow. I'm wrong. You're wrong. 163 floors in the Burj. That's right. We've been up and stood on that platform, the viewing platform.

It's insane. So it said in 2024, we'll climb to 100 stories in the air. Our city, a hive with a huge population, swallow the farms of a fifth of the nation. Our slogan will be more in 2024. 100%. I mean, I live out west, northwest, and that's completely developed up.

Oh, the sprawl, yeah, urban sprawl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they got that right. Another thing they got right, family albums will be videos instead of photographs. 100%. Wow. They didn't predict Instagram, but do you know what I mean?

Yes. Don't be too hard on them. Now this one, I don't know if you guys have, if this is true or not, and correct me if I'm wrong, the prediction, men will stop wearing corsets.

Because did you pick a girdle? This weekend we've got a wedding, so I will be putting a popcorn on a corset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you taking it off for the dinner? Because I know you like to eat at weddings. Absolutely. Photos the minute I'm like, a on a glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you taking it off for the dinner? Because I know you like to eat at weddings. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll be. Absolutely.

Photos the minute I'm like, a photo's done. I'll be like, yes. And they'll be like, who are you being more for? Dabba dabba. I love the language. I know it.

Men discard the corset. The new movement for masculine emancipation and male suffrage has not yet borne much fruit in the domain of fashions. A few more daring spirits amongst the weaker sex have ventured to appear in public in knickerbockers.

And last week, a man carrying a banner inscribed, Men, discard the corset, was seen on Broadway. So that's that. And then jazz music will be considered classical. Like, we kind of look at jazz music as being like old music. Yeah. Okay, some things they didn't get right. Okay.

Beds will fling children out of bed in the morning. Yeah. Whee! things they didn't get right. Okay. Beds will fling children out of bed in the morning. Imagine if your bed flung you out. Like, it would be the best way for people that cannot get up and snooze ten times to get away. You know those old people bendy beds? Yeah. That sit you up.

Can you put those on a timer so it... My friend Jacqueline had one of those. It would wake up erect. It just sits you up. Yeah. It would wake you up, right up erect. It just sits you up. Yeah. It would wake you up, right? Yeah. That would be quite nice.

Horses will no longer exist. That's not true. Why do they think horses? They just think horses don't exist. Because of glue. Well, we wouldn't need them. Yeah, with cars and stuff. It's actually based because the number of horses was already decreasing.

And they said if horses would decrease in the same ratio as in the last 10 or 20 years, it'll be safe to say that they'll be all but gone. How many horses? Interesting. How many horses died in World War I? Stand by, 8 million horses, donkeys and mules, died in World War I. Are you kidding me?

And World War II hadn't even started. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. That's insane. I remember reading a thing about how after World War I, people were like, horse numbers will never recover. So did they obviously have a lot of marshmallows after that?

Yeah. Imagine the glue. I wonder if you can make marshmallows out of them if they're already. Because a lot of them died from extreme conditions. Gelatin. Okay, yeah, right. I love this. A prediction from 1924 that didn't come true.

Men's legs will wither away from underuse. I mean, it's kind of the opposite, right? Like they're not withering away. They're just getting fatter and fatter. Fatter or stronger, depending which one. Space travel will be as easy as transatlantic travel. We're not there yet. Not quite, no.

And the fifth one is movies will bring about world peace. Barbie. Barbie. Barbie actually did unite the world. But it's now dividing the world now that it's Oscars season. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so maybe not. It's very interesting, isn't it? Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A nine second TikTok's got 470,000 likes, 16,500 comments, 22 point. These are insights that just make social media people cream their jeans. Cream their jeans. Wow. Is that a 90s song? Have you been reading some of Hayley's Smart Talk? Yeah, I have.

Yeah, okay. Wow. Hey, actually on that, long tease, I've got something to share with you guys today. Okay. I think it's going to make you

very flustered. Okay. And perhaps rather uncomfortable. Stay tuned. Fantastic. Like the entire segment Hayley's Horny Book Club. It's okay.

Well, this woman says that everybody is haunted by a sandwich that I've had that no other sandwich has lived up to since. Sandwiches rule. Love a sandwich. Far out. Do you know what's good? Reubens.

Okay. So I've had some really good Reubens in my time. Yeah. You have one amazing Reuben and then you're just chasing that Reuben high again. Chicken salad sandwich toasted with cheese from my favourite place. Just down the road from work. That's good. You know why

it's good? Chicken skin. Yes, but also you're dipping it into gravy and also the Reuben's good because it's just fried in butter. Yeah, they use slabs of butter to toast those things. But we did have those sandwiches. We've had a few sandwiches.

We've had some good sandwiches. But I don't know if I'm haunted by a good sandwich. I am. That chicken salad sandwich toast with cheese is always at the forefront of my mind at all times. Is it? And when I don't have it. They actually did a brain scan on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is this square thing? It's the sandwich obligata. Yeah, the sandwich obligata. The part of the brain scan on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this square thing? It's the samwujubla blagada. Yeah, the samwujubla blagada. Dedicated to sandwich. Just above the frontal lobes. Yeah. Chicken salad sandwich toasted with cheese.

Okay, and it's just there on the scan. Yeah. That's why I'm always ready to just have a chicken salad sandwich toasted with cheese. Okay. I reckon it haunts me because you can never have another one like it. Yeah. Nothing ever lives up. Nah. You think about the sandwiches from your childhood.

Ew, yuck. I just had an image of luncheon and tomato sauce. Luncheon and luncheon, yeah. Luncheon and tomato sauce. Dad, you're not making it tasty by putting a smiley face of tomato sauce on it, I tell you. Or saying to someone, do you have cheese on that ham sandwich? They're like, no, it's margarine. So thick.

So thick. Yes. Occasionally you'll get a bakery bun, like a shredded chicken, and you can see an absolute smear of margarine. I'm not doing bakery sandwiches because they're always front heavy. They're display sandwiches. Oh, yeah, display. They love to put the meat at the front.

They'll put a ribbon of ham at the front, so it looks like you've got ham on it, but at the back, the ass end of the sandwich is completely empty. I'll go an egg salad sandwich any time. Yeah, egg salad sandwich is real. Like from a bakery, I'll go egg salad sandwich. But that's not going to haunt you. No, no, no, no, no, no, because I can make a better one.

But chicken salad sandwich toast with cheese. Carwin had a sandwich that's haunted her. Haunted her? Was it just lettuce? Because you don't eat meat Oh yeah No, at Queenstown Airport they have a little cafe Are you ready to turn your mic off?

No It was the most delicious chip butty I have ever had in my life At an airport? Was it $800? Honestly probably but it was so good, and I was running late for a flight because of it. What made it good?

I don't know. They just had the potatoes aligned. It's a chip, isn't it? Did they have gravy? Was it dipped in gravy? No, I don't think so. Tommy sauce? I feel like it might have had some cheese in it.

Cheese chip sandwich. Yeah, cheese and cheese buddy sandwich. And the hot chips were just cooked to perfection. Yeah. Was it Espresso Cafe? I'll be honest, I don't remember. Yeah, it might have been. Probably.

That's right on the other side, yeah. That's a terrible TripAdvisor review there. Somebody's going to love it. Speaking of chip sandwiches, I like a chip like crisps. Do butter, Vegemite, handful of chips, bread, crunch it down. Yeah, those sandwiches are all too. That's not going to haunt you.

No, it's not going to haunt me, but now we're just guessing about sammies. I love sandwiches. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley from the self-driving ZM Think Tank. This is the top six. Ambergris, or grey amber, is a prized material used for fine perfumes. It has been, it's a really old tradition of making perfumes with whale vomit. So what does it look like?

Because I could have walked down the beach and seen this. And walked past $20,000. Absolutely. I've never heard of this stuff in my life. This is the specific one we're talking about because this is in the news. Well, see, I would look at that and just think, bleh. Dog shit. Oh, yeah.

It just looks like a stone or log. Like a seaweed-y log. Yeah, that's been in the ocean for like too long. Yeah. Covered in green. So it's ambergris. Dealers pay $40 a gram. This one that this lady found in Whangaruru in the far north, $20,000.

So that's what you just showed us. That's a picture of the $20,000 whale vom. Yeah. Oh, my God. Hey, if you didn't know what to look for, you could have walked past that a hundred times. That's not what vomit looks like. No, I was expecting bits of corn. It's not what vomit looks like. No, I was expecting

bits of corn. It's got no carrots in it. Dogs really like it. It doesn't have a frozen veg, a bag of frozen veg in it. That's how you know it's vomit. That's how you know

it's a vomit. Even though you haven't had that for, honestly, a week. So what, dogs? Dogs like it because they can smell it. Okay.

So if you're walking your dog on the beach and it's going crazy for what looks like a bit of driftwood. Yes. It's probably this stuff. It's probably this stuff. So is it worth money?

Is it valuable? Yeah. $22,000. But where do you take it? Oh, wow. Cashies. Do you take it to cash converters? I don't know who would buy it.

He'd probably just put it online. Cash converters. Somebody would buy it. They've got any computers or instruments or jewelry. No, but boy, oh, boy. Some whale vom. You are allowed to buy it. Got any computers or instruments or jewellery? No, but boy, oh, boy. Some whale vom. You are allowed to sell it. If you find whale ivory, you're not allowed to sell it.

Yeah. But that encourages people to kill whales. To hunt them. But yeah, this is just a by-product, so you're totally allowed to. If a whale's washed up and it's just there, can I, like, hack bits off it and sell that? Yeah, for sure. Okay. Yeah.

One of the, no, one of the dealers, Ambergris NZ, says the most commonly mistaken substances people think are is ambergris pumice, sea kidneys. Sea kidneys? I don't know what a sea kidney is. Or dog feces. Can you imagine thinking you were onto a haul and you just picked up somebody else's rank dog shit? Okay, so Sea kidneys are like

an organ. What are they? It's like a sponge, like a kidney sponge. Yuck. Okay. Oh, so they're found in sea creatures. Right.

If that sea creature's eaten and that's discarded, it washes up and people think it's whale vomit. It's not though. So I've got the top six other vomits that you might find this weekend that aren't worth $20,000. Okay. Number six on the list, your dog's vomit because it

was eating grass and you were like, stop eating grass but it wouldn't stop and then it vomited up all the grass that it ate. Dog's vomiting is awful. Their eyes are like but it wouldn't stop and then it vomited up all the grass that it ate. Dogs vomiting is awful, eh? Their eyes are like... Does your dog eat a lot of grass? Yeah, every now and then you'll see them eating grass. I think you're supposed to let them

because it's a sign that they've got something that they need to have a chunny up. Oh, okay. I think dogs know. They're like, oh, no, that's not sitting right. It ate some grass.

Have a little chunny. Shouldn't have eaten that sponge toy again. Yeah. Have you seen the dog that ate that whole sexual fun toy? No. And the vet, and they put out a pad and they make it thrive. It's like, oh.

And it's like, eight-inch thing comes out. Oh, my God. Eight inches. It's huge. Wow, okay. Well, that's something we can all watch together I'll share it with you okay thank you

number five on the list of the top six other vomits you might find this weekend that aren't worth $20,000 are outside the kebab shop vomit was it vomited pre or post kebab some light investigation should reveal the answer

yeah if it's got tabbouleh in it it's post andooli in it. It's post. And wilted lettuce. Yeah. Maybe some couscous. Yeah, maybe couscous.

Number four on the list of the top six other vomits you might find a weekend that aren't worth $20,000. The surprise baby vomit on your top that you didn't even hear that little vomit ninja project onto you. I know. And it dries. You don't see it. And it gets that milkiness. It starts to festers in the sun.

It stinks. I don't like it, and it gets that milkiness, it starts to festers in the sun. It stinks. I don't like it. I just never will. Well, you won't be holding somebody else's kid, though. No, you don't hold someone else's kid. I'm all good. Just look at it.

I'll pat it on its soft head. Okay, well, here's one for you two. Never having babies. Number three on the list of the top six other vomits you might find this weekend that aren't worth $20,000. Cat vomit. It's all the dry biscuits that the six other vomits you might find this weekend that aren't worth $20,000. Cat vomit. It's all the dry biscuits that the cat just scoffed and you said,

slow down. And then it vomits up a log of semi-chewed dried biscuits. Major Murray Fluffington does this because he eats too fast sometimes and then he's like,

bleh. And then he'll eat it up again. He did spew the other day but it spews maybe like once a year. Yeah. But there they do, they're like,

gobble, gobble, gobble. And then they're like, I'm hangry. And you're like, well, it's on you, bro. Eat it. Don't worry, though. If you had the dog before that was eating the grass, it's probably going to eat that cat. I actually feel sick.

Number two on the list of the top six vomits you might find this week at that are worth $20,000. Mystery vomit at your place after a party. A cleanup attempt has been made. At our place after New Year's, there was vomit underneath the toilet lid. So someone had a spew, but someone had escaped underneath the seat.

Is that at the New Year's party? Well, I wasn't there, so I can't be blamed for that. I wasn't there. It wasn't me. I know who had a little chunny chuns. And number one on the list of the top six vomits you might find this weekend that aren't worth $20,000 are your vomit that you feel like you need after hearing five other

very descriptive vomits. Yeah, I feel yuck. Yeah, you might need your own little vomit. That's today's top six. We've got to start talking about this yesterday. Was it what we had planned for after the show? And I said my life was pretty exciting. I was going to go home and use my new curtain wizard mold remover.

I think we were all just sharing our thrilling afternoon. Thrilling plans. You went to the Red Bull high dive thing yesterday. A little plug for that. That's happening in Auckland in the Viaduct this weekend. Amazing to watch, eh? Do you know the highest platform? Because one of our good friends is one of the judges,

travels around the world for it, and it's here in Auckland in New Zealand for the first time. That high platform is 27 metres. Yeah, the highest one. Apparently, I saw Kim Crossman jump off the 10 metre. Yeah, so they were practising yesterday. Did she just jump off? Yeah.

Did she do a dive? No. Not good at everything then, is she? They were practising yesterday. Did she just jump off? Yeah. Did she do a dive? No. Not good at everything then, is she? They were practising. She ended up feeling gracefully. Damn it.

They were only practising at 10, so I don't think she would have gone higher than 10. No, yeah, she was only at 10. But there are like

two more platforms above 10, and at the Olympics they dive at 10. Yeah, 10's standard. Yeah. The highest Olympic diving height.

Yeah. This is cliff diving, right? It's insane. And I think it's on TVNZ as well, streaming on one of the channels at the weekend. Horrible bodies, those divers. Oh, I know. Terrible, terrible

bodies. But how embarrassing to have a body like that. Like I was walking out the platform, I was like, fatties. Get it together, Jack Tubsters. Look at all these abs, yuck. That's just so unattractive. All the speedos,sters. Look at all these abs. Yuck. Yuck. Your abs are so unattractive. All the speedos? Horrible.

Look at all these beautiful, long, flexible legs and arms. I know. Yeah. Who wants to be lean? Yeah. That is so uncool. Who wants to look sexy in speedos? Not this guy.

Not me. Not me. I want to look like an overly confident, fat Australian every time I don the speeds. I want to look like you put too much baking powder in your muffin. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Spill it over the top.

It's totally spilled. It's even joining the muffin next to it. Yeah, the tray's become superfluous to requirement. It looks like a loaf. Yeah. So you went to the Red Bull thing and had a good gawk. Don't pretend it was for anything else. And it was an absolute perv. And you had dinner with for anything else. Absolute perv.

You had dinner with friends. Made some pulled chicken. I sprayed my mouldy curtains with my curtain wizard. I did say yesterday when I talked living the dream, baby. I did say yesterday I would give it an honest

review because it was something I'd paid for. I'd heard the advertising on this radio station. Oh, wow. ZM, FM. Radio advertising works, clients. This is a great example. This is a great example. I heard it and we do battle with moulded curtains.

Couldn't tell you why. No condensation, double glazed windows. Still get mouldy. So I purchased some at a right... Did you just have a little casual drop there? Double glazed? Yours aren't double glazed. No, I don't have double glazed. Must be nice. Only casual drop there? Double glazed? Yeah, double glazed. Yours aren't double glazed. No, I don't have double glazed.

No, it must be nice. Only half my house is double glazed. Yeah. It is nice. And so, took the curtains off and hung them on the washing line. Yeah. And sprayed it down with Curtain Wizard. So, what, is this like...

Very happy. Is it like an exit mould, but for curtains? It smelled like a less intense exit mould. It definitely had some sort of bleachy situation. So I did a test spot. Is it for coloured curtains or just white curtains? No, because you can use what is it?

Vinegar. No, what's the key ingredient in bleach? Hydrogen peroxide. You can use it to clean things as long as it's watered down. I read what's in it. It's not hydrogen peroxide, but it is of that family. So you've got your manky curtains up and you spray...

Dripping in black mould. Dripping in black mould. Someone needs to get those kids out of that house, you know. Well. And what, you spray and it'll work? Yes. Oh, amazing. It worked fantastically.

This is like when I use exit mould. I love that stuff. Yeah. We used to just put exit mould. When we flattered, we used to just put exit mould on the backs of curtains and be like, there you go. Because you know exit mould just bleaches the mould.

It doesn't remove it, right? Yeah, I know, but you can't see it. Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah. It's not there slowly killing you. I mean, you should probably give it a scrub, but you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Just on their website, it says, I am chemically sensitive. Is your product safe to to use they said our product contains one percent bleach okay right we don't recommend using our product if you're allergic or sensitive to bleach right but yeah no i'm and so it's worked and so you got rid of your mold so then i was like now it had a slight bleach smell to it so i'm gonna leave the curtains on the line to air out overnight. Then you're going to wake them with a Febreze. I'm already up before the sun at the weekday

so suck it Sade you're waking up when the sun comes up today. That's what I said to her. She said don't speak to me like that. You said I'll speak to you however I want.

Yeah and then she Yeah. And I was like I've learnt. So they stayed on the line overnight and she said I'm going to hear about this today

tell you what it's not going to rain overnight is it? Nah it's hot as. So I checked and tell you what. It's not going to rain overnight, is it? Nah, it's hot as. I was like, nah, it's not going to rain. It's hot as. Absolutely 0% chance according to all meteorological websites, apps, and weather telling fortune tellers.

Yep. Three o'clock this morning, cue, an insane piss down. Like one of the classic, So now it wakes you up, it's so loud on the roof. To which Sade's first words were, man, where did that come from? Curtains are on the line. Wait, not even full stop.

Curtains are on the line. It was, man, where did that come from? Curtains are on the line. But like, so now you've just got, you've kind of washed the curtains. That's what I said. Yeah, you've washed. It's a natural wash. But you're going away.

Are they going to dry in time? I said leave them on the line to dry because if you bring them back in wet and hang them up, they'll get mouldy again. I know, it feels like a vicious cycle. I bet you've got a product for that now. Yeah, I know, but if you leave them on the line all weekend and it's going to be hot, they're going to fade.

You have gross, crispy, faded curtains. I should care. It's a really exciting life, isn't it? God, this is exciting stuff. Do you know what? It's thrilling. I am thinking of proposing to her that she make some sort of makeshift washing line in the garage and hang the...

Yeah, we do that. Good idea. We do that. Good idea. She'll say, I don't have time. I'll put $100 on the line right now that she will reply, I don't have time. Yeah. Anybody want to take that bet? I know her very well. I know her better than she knows herself. I convinced't have time. I put $100 on the line right now that she will reply I don't have time. Yeah. Anybody want to take that bet?

I know her very well. I know her better than she knows herself. I convinced her this week. No, we're hanging out all week and I'm not taking bets against her. I convinced her this week I know her better

than she knows herself. That sounds like gas. It feels like it. It's a tinge of gaslight, doesn't it? It's a tinge of gas. You've been crazy. No, that's bleach.

Oh my God, he's doing it to us now. That's 1% bleach. You're just been crazy. You've been crazy. No, that's bleach. Oh my God, he's doing it to us now. That's 1% bleach. You're just being crazy. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly Little Pole today, which do you prefer? Hotel or air? Bread and breakfast. That's what the B&B stands for. That's what the B&B stands for.

Bread and breakfast. Bread and breakfast. Where am I sleeping if all they're providing me with is bread and then breakfast? You sleep in the bread. Yeah, there's beds. The bread is bread and then breakfast? You sleep in the bread. Yeah, there's beds. The bread is also the bed. Sleep in the bread bed. There are pros and cons to both.

The cleaning fees on Airbnb are ridiculous now. Service fee, cleaning fee, you're like, come on now. It's the same as a hotel in a lot of places. But it is, sometimes it's more, I don't know, you've just got a better set up in an Airbnb. Sometimes you've got a deck and like a lounge. You can sprawl a bit. Somewhere with a beach, if you've got friends

you can drink there, you know, on the balcony. Yeah. We're gonna, because me and Vaughn are in an Airbnb tonight. We're gonna host an absolute rager of a party. No we're not. We are going to break some shit. We're not doing that thing where you have a blowout the night before a wedding and then you're not in the mood for the wedding.

I do that. I've done that too many times. So have I. You go big the night before the wedding because you get a bit excited and the next day you're like, I'm not feeling this. No, no, no. We're staying bushy-eyed and fluffy-tailed. Yep.

Okay, something like that. 73% of people say they prefer a hotel. Yeah. 27% the air, bed and breakfast. I was going to say every day you get the cleaning and you get new towels, but that's not a thing after the pandemic. A lot of hotels. They're just like, we ain't giving you towels.

We don't do cleaning every day. Now you're like, what? Also, they don't need to clean every day. Nah. But it'd still be nice to get fresh towels every day. Get some towels. Yeah. Dylan actually says,

fresh towels and a cheeky breakfast at some places, hotels all the way. Yeah. So he's about a fresh towel. Loves a fresh towel. You've got to research a hotel breakfast, though. No brainer, says Liam, with a hotel being better, usually cheaper,

and someone cleans up after you, slash no long list of rules, hotel all the way. Yeah. Liam. Yeah, true, because it's not someone's private home. You know what I mean? Yeah, that is true. The rules all come because, like, don't break my stuff, this is my house.

Somebody brings up a very good point anonymously. Well, their name just isn't their actual name on Instagram. But the Airbnb, the second B doesn't exist. It shouldn't be called Airbnb because there's a bed, but they don't give you breakfast. Well, some places do have a little tray with some cereal on it. They'll have an egg. And six eggs.

And a local sourdough. Yeah. But no full breakfast. Earl says much better when you have kids to go to an Airbnb, just easier. Nice to hear from an Earl. The Earl of Paterson. Wow. Hotels suck, says Max. Really?

They're never as good as you think, even the best ones. They're usually tiny and have no real lounge room. They have loads of people running around, banging. That's a very good point. Yeah, the noise. The noise of a hotel. Running around and I don't want them anywhere near me in real life, so why should I tolerate them when I'm spending

thousands to relax? No thanks, unless it's a big ass room in a five star hotel you'll find me in the nearest beach side house. Yeah, nice. Yeah, good call.

Yeah, location's good sometimes. Thanks for coming in. Yeah. It's all right. Marie says, I hate Airbnb, so expensive, all the cleaning shit,

the cancellation options, everything costs. Courtney says, I prefer hotel but my wallet prefers an Airbnb. Depends who's paying for options, everything costs. Courtney says, I prefer hotel, but my wallet prefers an Airbnb. Depends who's paying for it, says Charlotte. If I'm paying, I'll just go for the cheapest option of works paying. They can put me in a very nice

hotel. Oh yeah, if works paying. And Jairo? J-A-I-R-O said, hotels, easier for hookups. Hey! Better for hookups. Hey. Better for the clean up. Everyone's got their reason.

Everyone's got their reason. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Off to a wedding this weekend and I have been granted the task of bringing down friend of the show, James. Gay James. Only gay James. I just call him James. Yeah, but we've got many Jameses in our lives. So it's just he's the only gay one I'm just following it

Because you started doing it And now I'm just here The weird thing about This is the weird thing about it Is he's got a surname No But that's too revealing It's too formal

That is too formal Yeah too revealing But if you said Oh James and I He's just got two surnames And I couldn't deduce From clues previous As to which James

You were referring to I would say James did it, his surname. That's actually quite a good idea to use his surname. Rather than labelling him as all he is as a, you know, his most prominent feature is his sexuality. Call me crazy. No, his most prominent feature is his lovely big heart. Well, I'd say big hearted James.

Yeah. And you know what? That could be mistaken for no other James. Yeah. If you said big-hearted James. Yeah. And you know what? That could be the mistake of no other James. Yeah. If you said big-hearted James and I, and I assume that is primarily the love the man exudes, doesn't have a medically enlarged heart. I actually don't know if he has a medically enlarged heart.

I don't know. We'll have to run a scan maybe. Well, I have been tasked with taking big-hearted James and... Here we go. I don't know who that is. Cold-hearted Fletch's suits in my car because I'm driving and you guys are flying. And so James, Gay James, dropped them off yesterday

and they're in my car. Yeah, because we're going in a little plane and there's nowhere to shove the suit. No, no, no, no. You don't want to be that person on a plane that's like moving people's bags because they're like I'm just going to put my suit here. Yeah, I know. Hand it off and say is there anywhere you can hang this? No, it's like a small plane. No, they don't have

that little cupboard. So I've got your two suits and then I've got Aaron's suit. God, you better not forget these suits. No, they're in the car. They're in the car now. And the car is here with me now on the body and I'm taking it. Remember that time we were going to Australia. And I didn't have my passport.

And you didn't have your passport. So this is why I'm asking. Yeah. Do you need a passport to go to Tauranga? Yes. Just checking. You do. You don't have it?

No. Oh, no, you're not coming. I'll get to the Kaimai checkpoint and get turned around. Oh, my God, triggered. Do you remember when there were checkpoints? Yeah. Oh, my God. You won't see it today because you're flying,

but we'll drive past the old Auckland checkpoint today at Mercer. Those crazy signs are all still there. It'd be great if someone pulled those down. Yeah, it would be great.

It'd be great if those could get taken down. Thanks. And then also, so Sade, Vaughan's wife, messaged me yesterday just again touching on

like how formal are you going? Like what are we doing? I think she was choosing what she was going to bring. Oh really? Of her eight dresses, she still hasn't chosen one. Yeah, no,

I think she's going shopping to buy a new one before she picks us up. Yeah. And I mentioned that I've got a formal shape to my dress, but it is made of cotton, as you saw. So it adds a casual nature. I said, not too formal, because it's made of cotton. It's going to be hot. And cotton crinkles. And I said,

the only thing is I'll have to steam it. I'm going to bring my handheld clothes steamer. And Sade said, oh, thank God, I was going to pack mine, but we'll just use yours. And then I told you this story because I said, look, if they do get crinkled in my car, your suits, yours and Gay James' suits, I said, I'll give them a... He's gay.

I'll give them a steam before you wear them. This just blows my mind. And then do the girlies own a steamer as well? The girlies own steamers. The irons are for old funny days. The little, like, canarts. I just look, they're like 40 bucks. I need one of these.

Yeah, that's what I've got. Because I just get my shirts dry cleaned so I don't have to iron them. Oh, far out. Must be nice. Must be nice. Shannon, do you get all of your garments dry cleaned? No, I steam them. But be nice. Shannon, do you get all of your garments dry cleaned? No, I steam them. But be careful.

I got a proper, proper burn and I've got a big scar on my leg from it. Yes. What do you mean? They burned you. Wait, were you wearing it? Yeah, I put it on and then I just did a little. I know you're not supposed to do that. I didn't really realise steam is hotter than hot water.

Like, it's the next level. It's the hottest water can possibly be. Have you ever burnt your thumb like, ever burnt your thumb on a kettle when in steam? Yes. Well, yeah, no, not that, but yeah, steamers

will get you good. I was wearing it and just... You just hang it up and then you, like, you see them in the stores. Well, I've got two steamers. I've got one that you find

in a store with, like, a pole and a rack and you hang it, but the hand-held is just for travel. Yeah. This is amazing.

I mean, I love that you're just coming to this. I don't like steaming clothes because they always feel wet afterwards. No, but they dry. They dry. And it just gets rid of a crinkle in a way that an iron can't.

So you don't have to iron ever again. And it's good with like pleated things because when you iron, you have to be so particular whereas you're hanging for like dresses. You're hanging the dress as you need it to hang. This is life changing. And then also this one from Kmart,

it's $49 actually. That's what I've got. That's my handheld. Is this good? Do you recommend? It's got, oh my God, it's got 4.4 stars,

232 reviews. Yeah. But what's with that other.6? What's happened? Someone probably steamed it while they were wearing it. Yeah, might have been.

That was Shannon's review. It did hurt. I would have given it a 4 star. Shannon review being like, this is very hot. Is this also what Gwyneth Paltrow uses to steam the yoni? No, do not put this near your yoni. No, I would have given it a four star She had a review being like This is very hot Is this also what Gwyneth Paltrow uses To steam the yoni?

No do not put this Don't steam the yoni Near your yoni No No near the yoni You will burn the yoni Okay Unless you are

Hovering above it At a No Shyer distance No Don't encourage that Because even by the time No you just get

You have to buy a yoni Specific steamer No because then if you Steaming from such a distance That it was cool By the time it got to you, you'd just remember when there's drips on the inside of a tent. Maybe you could use it. By the time it got to the vagina, your vagina would be a roof tent,

a tent roof, and there'd be sweat drips. Yeah, it would be. Remember the big day out in the big circus tent? Yeah, the boiler room. Maybe you could use your lavender vaporizer or Aaron actually vapes I wouldn't squat over a vaporizer

and certainly don't put that anywhere Aaron vapes I could just oh my god okay well anyway I'm excited

to be opening up to the world of hand garment I don't own an ironing board or an iron anymore you have no need for them

this is going to change my life because I only ever use my ironing board and iron iron anymore. You have no need for them. This is going to change my life. Because I only ever use my ironing board and iron like twice a year. Yeah, I know. And now I can throw them out. Yeah. In the ocean. Welcome to the future.

I was going to say, well, now that you're not going to be dry cleaning every time, because after you dry clean, you say, do you want me to dump those chemicals for you on the way home? And they say, yes, please. And you just chuck them in the ocean. Yeah, I do. Yeah. I was going to say, it's a step in the right direction for the world, but now he's tossing his ironing board and his iron straight into the sea.

This pig over here. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. It's the final rankings. Well, we do this every Friday, final rankings. We rank different items, subjects, things. Normally food, but today it's nearly the Chinese New Year, so we're going to do the Zodiac signs.

Yeah. I'd like to cook you all a Chinese feast. I would like to eat that Chinese feast. Oh, let's just go for a BYO. Oh. Yum. Yeah, now you, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I cook a good Chinese feast. I love a Chinese feast. Yeah. What are we talking? Are we talking some duck? Are we talking some pancakes? Oh, I can't cook duck.

Oh, okay, I'll cook the duck. You do the duck. Yep. I can do some homemade dumplings. Fantastic. And I'll do like a sticky, like a sticky chicken. Is there sweet and sour pork? Otherwise, I'm not there.

Or lemon chicken. Oh, we could do just sticky battered chicken. No, we're going to BYO because it's just yummer. Is there going to be white versions of Chinese food there? Otherwise, I'm not there. Oh, my God. Can I have one with the most sugar in it? Yeah.

Twelve Chinese zodiac signs in the following order. Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog and pig. Now you can Google just your birth. No, it's not koala. You can Google your birth year and then your Chinese zodiac. If you're born at the start of the year, like January, February, you kind of have to see because it floats, it changes. So you might be just one

when the rest of your year is another Chinese zodiac. Well, I'm goat slash sheep. Why is it either or? Like, they're totally different animals. They're similar.

Cusp. No, no. It's just, it's interchangeable between goat and sheep. I'm a shnike. You're a shnike and I'm a dog.

Dragon is the one that if you have Chinese family, that's the big one that everybody wants the dragon. That was why I was a massive birth year in 2012. Everybody wanted a dragon. My father-in-law is

Chinese, Thai. He's got two granddaughters that are dragons and he is very pleased about it. I mean, it doesn't mean anything, does it? Mine says snakes are the emblem of cunning and evil. I'm not cunning or evil. You're a cunning little bee. So horses were one that you don't want a daughter that's a horse,

especially when it was with the fire element. Why? Apparently that was like a very especially when it was with the fire element. Why? Apparently that was like a very bad year for female births in China. Oh, okay. Very bad. My other daughter is a horse. What about a rat? You don't want to be a rat.

I know how embarrassing that is. I think the rat's pretty good because I think the rat hitched a ride in the great race. Because the story of the Chinese zodiac is there was this race. Oh. And I think the rat hitched a ride and did very well for himself because he's a cheeky young cunner.

Yeah, right, okay. So that's not the worst one to be. So I saw a video the other week of a rat cleaning up a workshop. I was like, that is so cool.

Clever. Really clever. We all remember Pizza Rat. Yeah. The meme, you know, the rat taking the whole slice of pizza.

And in Chicago, have you seen the rat hole in the pavement? No. A rat fell into wet concrete and left this rat imprint. Yes, I did see that. It's become this massive Chicago must-see landmark. But somebody tried

to fill it in. Someone filled it in and the locals went down and chipped it all out again. So it was still the rat print in the thing. Amazing. Just looking at them, yeah, I wouldn't want to be a pig either. Yeah, but yum. You had pulled pork tacos last night. No, I made chicken. Pulled a pig either. Yeah, but yum. You had pulled pork tacos last night. No, I made chicken.

Pulled chicken. Oh, pulled chicken. Yeah. Dry. Pulled chicken. There is a rooster. There is a rooster on the Chinese Zodiac. I think I'd go dragon, monkey, because I love monkeys.

Yeah, monkey's pretty cool. There's got to be tigers up there. And tiger. Tiger's the big one. I think tiger, dragon, monkey for me would be my fave. What's your first? Dragon, tiger, then monkey. I'm going to go snake because I'm a slithery little snake.

Then horse. I love a horse. I'll go snake, horse, tiger. Okay. I'm going to go. Dragons aren't real. Yeah, that's the thing about this. Is that all of these Other animals

You could go and see it And be like Oh yeah that's a cool animal But a dragon's not real Have you not seen The documentary Game of Thrones Hello

There was only Three of them Dragons Yeah The others died Didn't they They were pretty cool But yeah

I will go Dragon Just because it's a dragon Yeah And then I'm going to go Dog because I'm a dog And then I think I'll go dragon just because it's a dragon yeah and then I'm gonna go dog because I'm a dog and then I think I'll go tiger

because tigers are pretty cool yeah I mean what's a tiger doing what kind of tiger though one of those sedated ones at the tourist pad or an actual in the wild

one of those ones that like there's real granny security footage of it like lurking just out of like a small Indian village and then someone's like

what's that noise and then the tiger's just like, you. Gone. I'm that guy. Yeah, right. I'm that tiger. Okay. Sabretooth.

I just thought I might like to be a sabretooth tiger. Yeah. I think it would be hard. I reckon they'd really get in the way. Yeah, they would. None of that. You know what I mean? This is so sad.

Like Chinese, I'm a goat or a sheep, and then I mean? It's just so sad. Like, Chinese, I'm a goat or a sheep, and then I'm a crab. And the other one, it's like, I can't catch a break. Yeah. Life's tough for you, isn't it? Well-to-do, single, white male. I reckon life is not tougher

for anyone. Why can't I be a tiger? Or a dragon? No, Han. It's okay. You'll be, I think you're going to be okay. I think I'll be fine. Okay. Even if your fictitious aligning of the stars doesn't give you a cool animal. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Hayley's Horny Book Club. Now, look, I know we were just here yesterday, but I've had so many messages from people, book recommendations in the world of smart, which is one of the biggest things on TikTok at the moment. Women sharing recommendations for anything from romantic to like full on sexy times books. And then you give them like spice ratings

and all this kind of stuff. And then because I've joined this community, I was introduced to something else that I thought I would share with you. Because I don't know if men in particular, and I mean, when I say share with you, I mean the you two in front of me. I don't know if men would even be aware

of this type of thing. Do men even know what their partners are reading? I've not suspected. If you see Sade reading a book, do you even ask what it's about? She's a huge reader. But does Aaron ask you what you're reading? Or he just sees you reading and just leaves you to it? I think because I'm new to it, I've sort of been telling him about it.

And he'll be like, well, what's it about? And I'm like, none of your business. It's for me. Anyway, so because I was part of of your business. It's for me. Anyway so because I was part of this because not everyone likes to read so sometimes I'll read

or sometimes I'll listen to an audio book. I know I've got big into the audio books. Yeah but which we clarified with you last year Hon it's not reading.

That's reading. It's not reading. It's listening to someone read. It's not the same. It's reading. No Carwen reads a lot she's shaking her head. Oh not a purist.

Not a purist. Oh you've got a Kindle. I can't. No, Carwen reads a lot. She's shaking her head. Oh, not a purist. Not a purist. Oh, you've got a Kindle. I can't wait because before when I had a Kindle, everyone's like, it's not reading. It's not. I'm a book. I'm a physical book girl as well. And every time you've talked about this,

people text in recommendations. This was the one that got texted in yesterday and I lost it in just the flurry of texts we received about it. Three Swedish Mountain Men is the book. It's a reverse harem. We talked about that, didn't we? Which is the woman has many male suitors.

Rather than the male having many female suitors. Oh, yeah. Harem, harem. Wait, are they all lumberjacks? Or did they make cheese? I hope so. I hope they're lumberjacks making cheese. I thought you said Swiss.

Swedish. Swedish. Okay. Swedish. Okay, meatballs. So. You bet. If reading is not for you. As meaty as you like, carry on, sorry. If reading is not for you, I'd like to introduce you to the world.

And this is adults only. Yeah. And you provide identification and it's a paid for platform. So all of that. So like Audible or any. Like Audible. Right, okay. It is called that. So like Audible or any... Like Audible. Right, okay. It is called Quinn.

Quinn. And it is... Like a guy's name, Quinn. Q-U-I-N-N, yeah. Yeah. And it is audio erotica for women. But instead of like an Audible book or an e-book, it's not like reading the story like,

Sarah walked to the fridge and picked up a thing. Hi, said Sarah. Like that vibe. It's live kind of... Wait, was she talking to the fridge? Some fridges you can talk to. That's sexy content to me. Everyone's got their own kinks. And who am I to say?

Imagine me, I'd be like, fridge, do we need milk? Do we need to open the door? Yeah. So it's more like a play. So it's not done like in story writing terms. It's done like an audio, like they're talking to you. And they have different voices. You can choose whether you want someone with an American accent,

a British accent, an Australian accent. They don't have Australian. They've got one Australian guy. He's quite good. And it's all very shaggy. I like that. So I was going to share with everyone listening Don't have Australian in key today, can we? They've got one Australian guy. He's quite good. And it's all thanks to us. G'day, Shagga. Yeah. I like that. So I was going to share with everyone listening the beginning of a Quinn file. Okay.

Now, this is from a creator called Nordeo. Yep. And this one is called In Flight. Here's just the start of it. It's safe. In Flight. So this is on a plane. Yeah.

Just so you can get a vibe of how they're talking to you. Safe to listen to you Safe to listen to Okay, okay Hi, sorry, I think you might be in my seat So I'm imagining I'm the one in the seat If you want, I'll take the, I don't think anyone else is going to be in our row I think it's just us two Yeah, yeah, no problem

I mean, you look very cosy under your blanket anyway, so I don't want to have to make you move. Sorry, you're obviously trying to sleep. I get a little chatty when I'm nervous. Okay, so it's not as a one-way, it's like a cam situation where they're talking to the... Did we edit out some gaps here, Jared, for Hayley to

imagine speaking back? Or was he just not leaving a gap? No, yeah, I cut out some gaps and some breathy pauses. I thought you were going to say there's got to be pauses because it's like Dora the Explorer when she's like, what is this shape? And you're like, circle. She's like, that's right. Circular.

So this is like an adult Dora the Explorer. Totally. I'm sorry for ruining everyone's childhood. So. So this is like an adult Dora. Dora the Explorer. Totally. I'm sorry for ruining everyone's childhood. So the thing that people like about Quinn. Oh my God. Now what I want to do, the thing people like about Quinn is that it's more engaging, right?

And less storytelling. It's more that you are part of this. Now what I've got to do. Had you let that guy have that seat? You let the guy have the seat, right? I'm shuffling over. Even though I'm so cozy and sleepy.

In my mind, I had a spare seat for the flight. Because I wasn't going to go to sleep anymore now. No, I know. So what I've got, I've got my little ear pods here,

my little headphones. I'm going to give you guys an ear each. Is it the same voice? Because as Carmen just said to the group chat, she's like, the voice wasn't doing it for me.

Yeah, I know. You can choose all different voices. I tried to choose one that I could clip up to share with radio listeners that was clean, and then I'm going to share with you. Do you want left or right? I'll go right. Yeah, I'm actually left-eared, so that's very kind of you.

Wait, this is the right thing. How does this go in my ear? I like this. It's a Beats. Okay, all right. So Vaughn and I are now putting on a headphone. Should I move away

from the microphone? I'm just going to keep your plugged in ear away from the microphone. Is this going to be filthy? I'm skipping forward 20 minutes. Okay.

Are we on the playing go? I just heard a beep. Yeah, I heard a beep. Okay. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah.

Okay. 20 minutes ahead. Yeah. Can you hear it? Vaughn! I don't think you can 20 minutes ahead. Can you hear it? What? I don't think you can do that on a plane. It stopped. Don't touch them.

Don't touch the headphones. What? What's he saying? Is he okay? Does he need a doctor? Something sounds sloppy. Stop talking over the... Stop talking over the room.

Stop talking over the room. Can you hear the sloppy? Oh my God. You can't do that on a plane. Wait, did they go to the bathroom? Yes, they're in the bathroom. They went to the bathroom. Wow.

Okay, that's against the law. Tampering with the smoke alarms. He's mumbling. He's dropped the headphone while Gordon's been plastered. Okay, I think that's all we need to hear. That's mumbling. He's dropped the headphone while Vaughan's been plastered. Okay, I think that's all we need to hear. That's all we need to hear.

My God. No, come on. I could hardly understand the bloody thing. This is just a, let me put this in so I can hear what you're hearing. Yeah.

Okay, that was insane. And again, he's talking to you. There's no response from the, wow. Okay. Vaughn's still listening. No one makes this much noise. No one gives this much, this is unrealistic because nobody's,

he's talking too much. Oh, I think that's Yod. Did you hear that? Okay, wow. What did he just? So, so. Now listen. Wait, that's? Wow. Okay, wow. What? Did he just? So, so. No, that's. Now listen. Wait, that's pornography without the visuals.

Exactly. No, it's 100% what it is. Well, it's erotica, isn't it? It's erotica. And I think that for some people, if the graphics, and especially for women, who sometimes the graphics are a lot and not aimed in your direction, this is an app for women. And if this is your buzz. Can you imagine recording that?

Is he going to Foley at the same time as he's doing the voice or does he go back and put a layer of sound effects on it? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. You can submit. Now, you can audition to be a contributor to Quinn. And I have long been complimented on my voice. Yeah.

I don't know if you could voice over for the great Kiwi Bake Off and also be a horny book woman. Are you, is this seat taken? You look so snuggly in your little blanket. No, don't. Stop it, stop it. So wait a minute,

who's making money off this? It's like an agent kind of a thing. So the contributors get paid their fee for their audio and then Quinn, you pay to subscribe to it. Hey, look. So you don't pay,

so once you're subscribed to Quinn, you don't pay, you can have as many as you want. all the files are available to you and then you go on just like a normal

sexy thing is you go on and you know, there's categories or voices and themes and stuff. Hey, each to their own. If you want to check it out, go check it out.

Someone said there's stuff like that on YouTube that you don't have to pay for. I don't think you've heard what we've heard. Maybe it's kind of like they think like ASMR. No, no, no. Oh, really? Straight up. Having just shared with the boys what I just shared,

I doubt it. No, I doubt it. Yeah. Not on YouTube. That would be pulled down, I'd say. Yeah. Thanks for indulging me, boys. Like that blanket on the plane.

Have I got a good voice for it? I have to go on a plane. You look all snuggly under your blanket. I have to go on a plane today. That's going to be very boring now, isn't it? Open your mind. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

A terrifying moment for my mother, Patsy. She, as you know, my dad was up staying with me and we went and saw the Foo Fighters and I just said to Vaughan, when you were out of the room, you knew that guy that was naked at the concert got charged. Did he? Yeah. And crushed you?

Yeah. Wild that he was just naked and... Stranding someone's shoulders. Yeah. Yeah, standing on their shoulders. Wild. Anyway, he's been charged. He was probably in decent exposure or something.

Oh, yeah, right. Gotcha. You imagine. Not everyone wants to see that. No. Speaking of not everybody wanting to see that, I had to airdrop something to the girls in the office yesterday. A video.

That's right. I was just talking about airdropping I was like airdropping doesn't seem to be as easy anymore I was like I guess it's because

we don't have this contact so I can't see you in the thing and she was like I have to change to everybody I was like oh why'd you turn that off

and she's like oh I got airdropped nudes in the club yeah I was like beg your pardon I've been sent a peenie on a plane

all four girls there have been sent unsolicited airdrop dick pics. Oh yeah, you guys are scoundrels. One at university. One went,

which was at university in a lecture. The default now is you've got to turn it on everybody for 10 minutes. Yeah, mine is always just

that, right? Yeah. Yes, yeah, good side point. Don't do that. No one wants to see it. Anyway,

so my dad was up staying with me, and so my mum was in the house where she lives alone, which is fine. She's a grown woman. Does your dad like leaving your mum? My dad doesn't like my mum being home alone. They don't like being apart. Yeah, yeah, my parents don't either.

That's cute. I know, it's cute. It's true love. It's genuine true love. Anyway, so my mum said that she noticed, because she's got a house on the corner. Everyone wants their house on the corner. She's got a house on the corner.

And she was sitting in the lounge. That just sounds like more accidents. More cars could crane through your fence. Yeah, from both sides. Yeah, you have to hear it and see it and be the first on. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I know. Anyway, so she said she was in the lounge just hanging out,

watching TV or something, and see it and be the first on. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I know. Anyway, so she said she was in the lounge just hanging out with, you know, watching TV or something and noticed a white van slowly driving past the house. Oh my goodness. Like this. And then went back to her business and then saw them coming around the other side and like sort of like looking in

and mum's like, they're absolutely casing the joint. Yeah. And she like peeped through the window like this and was like looking and trying to be like, someone's here, get away from here. But was absolutely like, oh my God,

I can't believe this. She didn't go full Kevin from Home Alone on it and set up booby traps? Nah, couldn't be bothered, I reckon. Yeah, couldn't be bothered. Takes a lot of time to set up booby traps. A lot of time. A lot of time.

But she definitely said that she was like not feeling easy because she's in the house by herself. Yeah, absolutely. And you know what I mean, like it doesn't make you feel very good feeling easy because she's in the house by herself. You know what I mean? It doesn't make you feel very good. And so she had all the curtains closed and closed the gate, locked the door and everything and just kind of made sure. Lights on and all that.

Got out the shotgun. Got out her shotgun, one of her guns, and sat there by the front door like this with the gun in arms waiting for these people. Anyway, nothing came of it. And she just said it was a bit of a scary moment, didn't like it. You know, it makes you feel uncomfortable, people wanting to steal stuff from her.

Last night we had our friends Tim and Ty over for dinner. And they'd been on a camping trip. And they said, I think we might have driven past your mum's house. They've done a Vaughan. And I said. You do this. You drive past mum's house. They've done a Vaughan. And I said, you do this. You drive people's houses. Yeah.

And they said, because we, the house that my parents live in, me and Aaron sold it to them. That used to be our house. And our friends, Tim and Ty had never seen the house. It's a beautiful house.

And so they were like, yeah, we were trying to find it, trying to sort of, we'd seen pictures of it. Oh my God. So they were in a camper van, in a white van that had been converted into a camper.

It has like a mattress in the back and all that. And they were slowly going by being like, I think that's the one. And then I was like, why didn't you go in and say hello? And they said, because we saw your mum Patsy poke her head out and look pretty like standoffish. So we thought we'd better leave her alone. I was like, she thought you were trying to rob her. Anyway, she wasn't getting robbed. She wasn't in any danger. That's hilarious.

Just my friends being like, I'm pretty sure they're in Hayley's old house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every now and then I'll be like, we'll be where I went to uni on the North Shore of Auckland and I'll say to the kids, do you want to see where I flatted? And they're like, not really. They don't want to. They don't care. And I'll drive up

driveways and stuff and I'll be like, that's it. And I'll point out, they'll be looking and stuff and I'll be like, that's it. And I'll point out the people I'll be looking at, man. You're so embarrassing. Yeah, no. You're so embarrassing. Don't do that. We used to live there. That's what I'll do.

Pull up outside our old flat when Shade and I first flatted together. I'll be like, we used to live in that house. Someone will be looking at us and I'll be like, hi. Just drive away. Oh, my God. I was going to say, just know when you do that, there's probably like a terrified woman inside being like, that man's going to rob my house.

Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Play ZM. There's probably like a terrified woman inside being like, that man's going to rob my house. Now, Bryn, welcome. Thanks. Thank you so much. Really lovely to keep you after the news to share with us what we have been told is a wild dating story. That involves a psychic. And you just said it involves a psychic. Yeah.

Well, just for a bit of context, it started by going to get a haircut. Guy's got a great voice. For us student listeners, Bryn does read the news. Yeah, I know. So this is voice. And I can see why. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, so I went to get a haircut last Friday and when I was getting my haircut, I bumped into a psychic. Right. And she was like, I've got a $40 special this afternoon if you want to come in. Wait a minute. Wait, was she cutting your hair? No, she wasn't cutting the hair.

No, she wasn't cutting the hair. Just want to be clear. I had someone else. Was she in? She was outside. And as I was waiting to get my hair cut, she popped in and said, I've got a $40 special. Gave me a little flyer, little pamphlet.

She is a fortune teller. Do you normally believe in like star signs and fortune and psychics? I do see a psychic biannually. Do you normally believe in star signs and fortune and psychics? I do see a psychic biannually. Do you? Yeah. Do you? Biannually. To find out.

Is that twice a year or every other year? Twice a year. Twice a year. And has anything predicted come? Do you annually? No, biannually. I would say six months. What's every two years?

I always say it's biannually. I think it's also. Biannually. It's both, yeah. Oh, okay, right. What's every two years? I always say it's biannually. I think it's also... Biannually. It's both, yeah. Oh, okay, right. That's why I'm confused. So when you've seen every six months

and you see a... I saw it say... Wait a minute, are you serious? Yeah. What do they tell you? Well, mainly I see one in Scotland.

This guy's our trusted news source. You see one and you'll be making it up. See one in Scotland do a Zoom call at three o'clock in the morning. Her name is Lorna.

We're learning so much about you, Brie. And she, we're going a bit off tangent here. Oh, please do. But she has drawn a photo of my spirit guide, who's this warrior Cherokee. Also, she can't really draw. She can't draw it. Wait, so you're not a Cherokee?

That's not the sidekick that I'm talking about. She's drawing you if she can't draw? She's drawing a warrior. Stick figurines of Native Americans. Anyway, so you've dabbled in the psychic before. So you bumped into the psychic. Yeah, $40 special. I had nothing to do that afternoon.

Is that a good special for a psychic? I've never seen one. How much do you pay lawn of the Cherokee. Well, she's actually premium. A hundred bucks. A hundred dollars? She's premium,

at least. Oh my God. Right. Okay, so $40 is about it. Biennial means twice a year. Biennial means

once every two years. Biennial. Okay, right. Okay, so you don't buy annually. Christ, we've learned a lot in this break. Okay, right. So you go bi-annually. Christ, we've learned a lot in this break.

Please carry on. You've just excited us too much. I think it's the tone to which you straight-faced are telling us about Lorna the Scottish woman who drew your Cherokee spirit guide. Yeah, I think I've got a discount code. So if anyone wants to see Lorna, let me know. 100%, I will use that.

Okay. So the other psychic who's in Auckland, much closer, $40 special, and I was mainly wanting to get the crystal ball reading. So I went and did that. I was trying not to laugh the whole time because she's also a gypsy. I don't know. A self-identified gypsy. You're not saying she's a gypsy.

She identifies as a gypsy. No, she identifies as one. She's read Jamie Oliver's palm. She's met the Dalai Lama, apparently in Avondale. I remember when he went to Vondela. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I used to live here. Wait, he put there on a Sunday morning for some fruit and veg from the market?

What's he doing in Avondale? I think he's got a holiday home there or something. Oh, it's a beautiful place. Has she got a photo with Jamie Oliver or the Dalai Lama? Is it proof? No. Okay. But why wouldn't you believe her?

You're so pessimistic, Fletch. I'm easy to trust. She didn't meet Avondale's Daily Lama, which is everyday a llama walks through Avondale. They paraded around the Rosebud Road. Okay, that's where the confusion's coming. So we had the reading,

took about 60 minutes, and at the end of it, she's like, oh, so what are you doing tonight? And I'm like, oh, got no plans. Probably just go home, have at the end of it she's like, oh, so what are you doing tonight? And I'm like, oh, got no plans. Probably just go home, have a couple of drinks. She's like, oh, so you're free then? Uh-oh, she should have known that. Yeah. She's a psychic.

She should know that. And I'm like, well, yeah, I guess I am. And she's like, right, well, come to the movies with me. Okay. Less of a question, more of an instruction. Yeah, yeah. She's the movies with me. Okay. Less of a question, more of an instruction. Yeah, yeah. She's very old, by the way. Very small, a very small lady.

Probably the scariest small woman I've ever met. Right. What are we talking? How old? How old is she? Probably late 70s. Oh, elderly. What movie did she want to see?

You're not going to have to be her grandson. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Now did you consult your Cherokee spirit guide? You wanted a horse's take on it. Oh, I didn't line my chakras properly. Oh, God. And so she's like, you're coming to the movie, and what did you do? Well, I went to the movie.

What did you see? When I promised a wild story, this is exceeding all expectations. Oh, my God. Well, I went to the movie. Yeah. What did you see? Well, I was concerned because she asked me if I'd seen Salt Burn. That's not on at the movies.

No, thankfully, because I think she was quite willing to see it. Jeepers. You don't watch that with the elderly. No. No, you don't. No. So what did you see? I've forgotten what the movie's called now. Yeah, it was at Silky Otter, so, you know with the elderly. No, no, you don't. No. So what did you see? I've forgotten what the movie's called now.

Yeah, it was at Silky Otter. So, you know, the fancy. Oh, it's probably an art house. Movie complex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was a good film. Did she pay for her own ticket or was it?

She did. Okay. Yeah, I bought her a wine though. Loosen her up. Oh my God. A Pinot Gris. Okay, okay. Sweet tooth. Yeah. A Pinot Gris. Okay. Sweet tooth.

Yep. Which I shouldn't have done because, well, I actually bought her two. Right, she's getting loose. And she did get a bit loose because then she revealed that she makes up most of her readings. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So I wasted $40 on the reading, $30 on the movie ticket, and then an extra $60 on food and drinks. It was a very, very expensive night.

A wasteful, expensive night. Yeah, and I got nothing out of it. But wait, what were you expecting at the end of this date? I don't know, maybe another reading. Right, okay. Because she forgot to read my palms. Right, so you were hoping maybe go home afterwards. Yeah.

Pour another glass of wine. Have a palm reading. Have a palm reading. Exactly. Some like touching of the palms. And how did that come up? Did she just say, I make it all up? Well, she didn't say all of it.

She makes most of it up, yeah. I'm trying to figure out which bit she actually made up. Most of it. She should have clarified. You wonder why I'm so pessimistic. This is why I won't do Discount Psychics. I'll only do Premium Scottish Woman Who Can't Read.

Someone's got to tell Jamie Oliver now. I reckon she might have Made that part up She ripped the DRA sayer I reckon that's That might be a made up part

Amazing Bryn Thank you so much For cheering Do you know what I like Your spirit is something To take into this year 2024

Just being like Sure I'll go to the movies With you old girl Why not Exactly Your demands to hear More from Bryn Shall be answered No. Exactly. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Your demands to hear more from Bryn shall be answered. Absolutely shall be met.

Absolutely shall be met. Gosh, that was so wild. I love that so much. Oh, my God, that's the perfect description. Bryn sounds like a Tom Sainsbury character. That's the highest praise. That is the highest of praise. Yes, I had spit it out. That is the highest of praise. I tried a new vocation yesterday.

Okay. Because lovely Aaron, my fiance, he has extremely long and curly hair. Thick, long, curly hair. And you may have seen him on the Greg Grover from Nova ad. Yes. It's longer than that. He's going to have to get that shorn if he's... So he gets it cut only for Greg Grover

from Nova. He gets it cut and it's his only haircut he does and he lets it grow because it's a bit of a dorky cut and he's a cool boy. So he gets it dorky cut for Nova then he lets it grow. Dorky cut for Nova but last year Nova rolled over. So he didn't film a new one.

They just played the same ad. So it meant that he hasn't had a haircut for two years and it is like down to the centre of his back. Long, thick, curly hair. Now if you've got curly hair as a woman, I don't, but I know a lot of friends that do. This is high maintenance stuff. Because your wife is naturally curly, right?

Yeah, she's wavy. She's wavy. If she lets it go, it goes curly. And both of our daughters when I had hair... Don't want to talk about it. When I had hair, I had curly hair. Like how you've seen Indies hair. When I first met you, you had real curly hair.

So that's like I know exactly what you're talking about. You've got to brush it all the time. And you've got to look, you've got to brush it all the time. And you've got to like how you brush it, the tools you use, the conditioner, the products, all that stuff. You can't just leave it like I can leave my hair. And he doesn't do that. And he usually gets away with it because it's up in a ponytail and it hasn't been this long.

He'd be so good for holiday braids. Oh my God. I can't believe that. We missed that in Bali, didn't we? Get some beads. Get some beads and some braids. So he. Did we do his hair out one time?

Like he's a girl boxer. You know how they get those two really tight. Two French plaits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he'd look real cute with a girl boxer. I always want to straighten it and make him look like Jesus. Yeah. But he doesn't like that.

Of course Jesus was a tall white man. He was a very tall white man. Anyway, so I've been trying to help him, like, deal with it, but because he's been so busy recently, it got really matted and, like, really knotted. And he... Like, net virgin on dreadlock territory. In parts.

Like, because there's so much here. Right. There's so much of it. It was, like, really in a bad state. So yesterday he had to go to something, like a gig thing, and then he said, can you come help me with my hair? What are you looking at?

No, nothing. Oh. I was just looking at your T-shirt. Are you looking at my boobs? No. It's a straight up caught fletch staring at my tits on air. This is a workplace. It's unbelievable.

Yeah, I was definitely staring at your boobs. It's because I'm not wearing a bra today And they're all loosey goosey How dare you No you went like this And I was like What does that say on that thing We're beach chill We're beach and chill

Go hand in hand Yeah Okay If you think my tits down there by the way They are much higher Anyway so Aaron needed a hand with it right Because it's a lot of hair to get through And I said let's get in the shower because we've got our shower.

You can look me in the eyes. Let's get in the shower and we'll just lather up with condition. I'll slowly work my way through it with a comb. And in the end, I had to cut off like a good 10 to 15 centimetres of it. So when you say you've taken up a new voc, you're a hairdresser now. I'm a hairdresser. Just like that. Yeah, so if anyone's looking

for a little trimdy limb, I'm very good at getting out knots and becoming a hairdresser. What did you find in there? A bit of chewing gum? Nothing. It was clean but it was so knotty and in the end we had like two salad bowl like full

clumps of hair that I'd cut. That's a weird measurement. Did you put it in a salad bowl? I panicked. I panicked. No, we didn't put it in a salad bowl. I would have said've cut. It's a weird measurement. Did you put it in a salad bowl? I panicked. No, we didn't put it in a salad bowl. I would have said like a bucket, like a 10-liter bucket of hair. Maybe we had about a seven-liter bucket.

Of hair. Of hair. And he's still got enough hair. And then we put a thing through it and then it dried and it still looks full as. And I just think, screw him, you know? It's a lot of hair. When you were brushing it and you hit a knot and it pulled, did he go, oh looks full as and I just think screw him you know it's a lot of hair when you were brushing it

and you hit a knot and it pulled did he go oh yeah and you're like stay still that's what happens when you don't brush

your hair every day I told you kids I did do a little bit of like I'm sorry you did this to yourself yeah good

Shannon has a question from the social media desk yeah what did you do with the hair put it in the bin well that's wrong why

you meant to give it to the birds. I thought you were going to say donate it to a sick kid and I was like, yeah, surely it was not long enough. No, it's very important. For the birds? They make nests. It's for the environment. A hair nest?

Yes, it's good. No, no, no, trust me. It's hard to sometimes, Shannon. Because you're telling me to feed my fiancé's hair to the birds. You had our trust and then you lost it. And it's very hard to get it back. I'm getting it back with this. But wait, do you throw...

No, this is what lost it. Do you throw out some bits of bread with the hairs of the birds' feet? No, they know it's good for them, for their nests. Right, but they know it's there. When you shear the sheep, you leave a bit of wall out for the birds or like the cows, if you brush your dog, you do it outside. I told you, Vaughan's back on side. No, I'm not back on side. Aaron's, oh no.

Manky-ass pirate. And then I did it, because I cut hair. Shannon Trim, you see, I cut hair. Oh, that's good. It's all in the name. Trim's from Trim. No, but my flight mate had pink hair and I cut off heaps of her hair. Oh, you's good. It's all in the name. Trim's from Trim. No, but my flight mate had pink hair, and I cut off heaps of her hair.

Oh, you're a copycat. I put it out. We looked. There was pink nests. Not, like, fully, like, neon pink, but you could see little strands of pink in it, and it felt important. No.

No, you didn't. It just blows. It all depends what kind of bird. It'll blow back into my house, and I don't want to hear, because Aaron's got curly hair. It'll look like I've got a puke house. You don't want to spread your DNA.

No. What if that bird makes a nest at a murderer's house? Aaron's not a murderer. So that's not a risk for me feeding the birds. No, but his hair's at the scene of the crime

and he is a murderer. Because of a bird, because Shannon threw his DNA on the back lawn. But like, because we live in a city, there's not many nest building equipment.

I don't live in the city. I live semi-rural. I don't want sparrows getting the wrong idea. They're not welcome here. No, neither. Get them gone. I don't want city pigeons coming. I don't want to be giving them building supplies and saying,

have at it. Shit all over everything. Why not? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Get this. I've got a good one to finish on. So it's mushroom week.

Yeah. Had a bit of a midweek flop there. Just like a mushroom in the veggie drawer. I'm glad you acknowledge that. Had a bit of a midweek flop there. Just like a mushroom in the veggie drawer. I'm glad you acknowledge that. Went a bit floppy. I've got to... Maybe next time, before you commit to a week of facts... No, that's not fun.

Maybe find five facts before you commit. What if I can only find four? And then I've done all that legwork. Then it's not worth it. I'm not doing extra work for this job. Yes, you will, boy. I feel like it's getting enough out of me. Right, okay.

No. Talk to my agent. Today's fact of the day is that lightning causes mushrooms to grow and multiply up to double the amount. Why? How? If they get struck by lightning or if they just see it. Well, if there's heavy rain, the moisture helps But if it's heavy rain

And a thunderstorm with a variety of lightning strikes Clusters of mushrooms will be popping out At an exponential rate Compared to just rain Or neither rain nor lightning How? Why? What's the science? Lightning strength jolts of electricity

can more than double the yield of certain mushroom species compared with conventional cultivation methods because lightning discharges combine the nitrogen and oxygen with the rain, which carries the fixed nitrogen down to help at least with the fertilising of the soil and the reproduction. Now he's talking about science.

Yes, quote unquote. Okay, so the lightning is God's fury. Now I'm here. Yeah, and the mushrooms. Now he's talking about science. Yes, quote unquote. Okay, so the lightning is God's fury. Now I'm here. Yeah, and the mushrooms are the spies of the devil, and that's why they can grow at night. They don't need the sunlight, which of course is the Lord's love. And they grow at night. Power of the devil!

It's actually quite fascinating, isn't it? That's bizarre. It is, eh? Could you fake lightning if you were a mushroom grower? Oh, yeah. To make your mushrooms. In your little bunker grower thing. You know, like they grow them for the supermarkets

and, you know, the actual growers. Yeah, under lights and stuff. Could they fake lightning? And could they just flick the lights on and off? No, it's like an insane amount of power in a lightning bolt. Just get a laser. Yeah, because they use little lasers. Like I've got for the cat.

Yeah, no, no, that's not nearly enough. I felt like it would be enough. Yeah. A mushroom, like an outdoor, not like an indoor mushroom farm, but like an outdoor field that grew mushrooms. Yeah. I was struck by lightning. Now, the spot that got hit killed everything.

It was too much. Of course. But around it, they grew bigger and they grew stronger. And they said, mushrooms react best when exposed to a second burst of electricity at a range of 50 to 100,000 volts. That causes mushrooms to give themselves a reproductive boost. Batteries are nine.

Yeah, that's going to be a lot of batteries. They give themselves a reproductive boost. Yeah, that's going to be a lot of batteries. They give themselves a reproductive boost and increase the number of fruiting bodies. Could you try that with a mushroom in the fridge? Like, you know, you put a tongue on a nine-volt battery and it's like, eh, and it tingles. I wonder if you could just do that to a mushroom. Get the mushroom to poke its tongue out.

And when you buy a little box or bag of mushrooms, just chuck a battery in. Do you know what I mean? Surely that must work. Surely it's got to add something. Good science from you there. Thank you. Not bad at all.

So today's fact of the day is lightning strikes and thunderstorms cause mushrooms to grow and multiply. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Zed in Fletch Vaughn and Hayley's Show Fletch Vaughn and Hayley's Show Well done Can we rename our show? Fletch Vaughn and Hayley's Show You put an S on the end of my H I just got confused

Because my computer's being weird Do you see how like Things are missing? Like see how that's missing? Yeah Like why is that missing? Also once you make my Once you put an S at the end,

you had to finish it with something. Fletchborn and Hayley's all here. Yeah, so I don't know if we're just going to go off air or something's going to, and that's missing. Anyway. Are we going to go off air? Oh, my God, we're just going to disappear. Please know we're okay.

We'll be okay. We'll put ourselves as safe on Facebook. Now, there is a show that you guys didn't know about called A Thousand Pound Sisters. You could pretty much tell me, you could make up any random words and tell me it's a reality show on TLC. Otherwise, that was the next thing.

I don't know what the channel's called. It's called HGTV, but that's Home and Garden Television. But you could make up anything. Like, my sister's a garbage can. And I'd be like, that sounds like a reality show that they've got there.

And they go through your garbage can to see what you're eating and how you're living. Married to bananas. Married to bananas. I'd be like, that's about, okay, that is a reality show

about the wives of all the hardworking banana plantation workers. Married to bananas. And so they go out and party and socialite during the day. Oh, the Real Housewives of Banana Plantations. Yes. So you could tell me that was a show too and I would be like

it must be. I'm going to watch that show. Nothing makes sense anymore. What's happening on the plantation today? My Mistress the Ocean. I'd be like surely. Was it about sailors or a guy who's not free? Don't give away all your ideas for free. So A Thousand Pounds Sisters, it follows... Are they a thousand pounds each

or a thousand pounds collectively? Collectively. It follows Amy and Tammy. How many kgs is that? 450 kgs. Divide that by two. Okay. Big girls.

A couple of big girls. So is the idea of the show they are getting medical help to... Yes. ...lose weight, get healthier? It follows them along their attempts at weight loss and weight loss surgery. I'll tell you what, it's like a zoo, basically. We're laughing at fat people.

It's terrible television. However, the characters, like the personalities of these women are so funny. And they're from Kentucky. They're just simple, you know, Kentucky folk. And one of them revealed during a doctor's... Probably the chicken's fault. It's right there. Probably. Probably.

Yeah. One of them revealed that they had an IUD which is a... Improvisative explosive device. Yeah. Roadside in Iraq. No, an intrauterine device.

Yeah. A contraceptive form. That looks like an anchor. Looks like an anchor. Painfully goes inside your cervix. Yeah. Not for me. And you're supposed to renew them every

five to whatever years, right? They run out of steam. It's not steam that's doing it. That's steam powered. I think we could look at some new technology for you, gal. We've already talked about steaming your yoni this morning. Don't do it. You shouldn't do it. Not with your clothes steamer.

No. Not with the Kmart handheld. Not with the Kmart handheld. You with a Kmart handheld. Burn it. Anyway, she revealed that she's left it in there for 12 years. No good. Wow. Okay. And her sister was like, ain't it like attached at this point? Hasn't it been absorbed?

No, not how it works. The doctor's just like, okay. And she's just been putting it off. She's just like, yeah, just never got round to it. See, you can put off your warrant of fitness or your rego. Oh, shit. Can you? I mean, you shouldn't, yeah, just never got round to it. See, you can put off your warrant of fitness or your rego. Oh, shit! Can you? Or, I mean, you shouldn't, but, you know, you don't get

a $200 fine if you're pulled over with a 10-year-old IUD, though. No, but you can put off mowing the lawns or, like, I don't know, painting something or fixing something around the house. But you can't put off that. No, that's a medical thing. That's bad if you leave it. You can't have that floating around in here. Yeah. So, I wanted to medical thing. You can't have that floating around in here. So I

wanted to take some calls and get some messages in of the thing that you were putting off. Or maybe in the past you've put off something for so long. How bad did it get? You should have just addressed it at the time. Like a 12 year old IUD. Does that have to be medical?

No. Maybe even now if you're putting something off we could give you a bit of a G up before the weekend to get it done. Because you're really good at motivation. Very motivational. What about when you know that you left your lunch in the back of a backpack and you know it's in the boot of your car and you know it's festering? Are you talking about yourself? I'm just saying you, the hypothetical you.

You know who you are. Have you put my wedding suit right next to this mouldy bag of crap? Well, she didn't, but when I got in her car this morning, my backpack needed some room, so I just tossed your suit into the bag. He shuffled your suit around. Did he? He did. I pulled it forward so it was hanging forward of his bag,

but he almost like chucked it on top of the thing. I said, which one is James's? And she said, that one. I said, well, that deserves love and attention. Big hearted James. Who's gay. Anyway, no, don't worry.

I've done that, but I literally had a lunchbox with little odds and sods of unfinished stuff. And I knew it was there and every day I was like, I could hear it whispering like, help me. And I just kept putting it off. Okay.

What are you putting off? We're asking you what have you been putting off or what are you currently putting off? Because from the show A Thousand Pound Sisters, which is pure trash, one of them has an IUD that's been in there for 12 years. That's longer than it should be. And she's just been putting it off, getting it out, getting it removed. So we've asked you, what are you putting off? Either something that you just put off forever or something

right now that you need a G up on. And we can give you that G up. Brydon, good morning. Yeah, how's it going guys? What are you putting off? I went on a trip over New Year's, did a whole festival tour thing, and since I've been back, I got all my

washing done, but I've got nowhere to put it in my drawers, eh? So I've currently been living for the past couple weeks, living off the floor as well, because, yeah, there's just a big pile of clothes. You need a clean washing chair. What's in the drawers? Oh, you know, work stuff. You got that

one drawer at the top that's just full of junk. Sounds like you need a clean-out. I think we need a trip to the clothing bin. Yeah, I think so. Sounds like you've got a lot of clothes you don't wear anymore. I think you need to pick up the clothes, stare yourself in the mirror and say, does this make me feel good anymore?

And if it doesn't, you've got to put it in a bag and you've got to donate it to someone else to have another life. But that's the hardest part because then I'll be looking for that singlet in a couple of months and I'll be like, oh, that's right, I don't have it anymore. I don't think a singlet will ever be that good that you'll miss it that bad, mate.

No, but you do have a favourite singlet. You do have favourite tops, you know. Oh, for sure. I've got about seven singlets and I only wear one. Do you have a partner? Nah, nah, I don't. Yeah, nah, you don't, eh? Because otherwise...

I had guessed that. Otherwise, do you think she would have cleaned up the top drawer by now? She, he, whoever, they just would have... I just not hit the bar of this. Yeah, okay. Well, I reckon that's on you to do. Let's brighten. Maybe find yourself a partner and then they'll help you sort it out.

Also, you said she or he. I'm not getting gay vibes off, Brayden, and dare I assume but gays are very tiny people. Not always. Not always. Not all gays. Not all gays. Must be why I'm messy because I'm... Straight. Straight as an arrow.

Amazing. Brayden, thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 Dalsatam. What have you been putting off forever or currently still putting off? We are getting messages in and calls on the things you've been putting off for a long time. Like the woman on TV who's got an IUD still on after 12 years. Should only be two or three? Did you say? Five.

Five. Okay, yeah, right. Some messages in. Putting off claiming payments owed to me from ACC because they're such a pain in the ass to deal with. Yeah. Wait, they're going to pay you? Yeah, but you've got to do that paperwork.

Get the money. But that's money. We need money, honey. Putting off cancelling the gym in case I suddenly decide I wanted to go. It hasn't happened in the last few months, though. In case I suddenly was like, oh, today I want to go. Oh, today's the day. I remember having a yarn to someone

that worked in gym and payments and stuff and it'll blow your mind the amount, I mean, it probably wouldn't, but blow your mind the amount of people that pay and don't turn up. They're keeping it afloat. For so long. Yeah.

100%. I'm not talking about like a week or two. No, no. Like months and months and some years. Yeah. Yeah. I get it, man. I just want to say, I too will be putting off my IUD being taken out.

That process is close to the pain of childbirth, and I do not blame that woman. Oh, wow. I've been scared of it. I've never had it, but I've heard it's horrendous. I have the fear of the dentist, and I have a huge hole in my tooth. It's half off, and now it has an abscess, but I can't go. I'm legit too scared and too poor. That's a root canal if you leave it.

You've got to get it done. I'm putting off taking my daughter to the dentist. She has a tooth growing underneath her tongue, but I know it will be very expensive. Now, I've googled children in New Zealand who meet the eligibility criteria for publicly funded health and disability services are entitled to free basic oral health services.

Do you think that's a... It's basic, though. It's basic. This sounds a bit more... But if it's a baby tooth... Wow, basic though. Yeah, basic. Yeah, this sounds a bit more. An extraction would. But if it's a baby tooth. Oh, that's. Yeah, wow. I'll just get in there. I'll get that out of there.

I'll get in there with some pliers. Corey, what are you still putting off to this day? So I've pulled some windows out of one of the bedrooms in the front of the house and still haven't put them back in and it's been a few months. Wait. Okay, I know. No windows. Yeah, winter is coming. Yeah! Yeah, winter is coming. Yeah. Winter is coming.

When do you plan on redoing the window, like painting? Well, they only just need one coat of paint and then I can put them back in, but I just hate painting windows. Dude, it's the worst. Painting anything sucks. Especially painting windows. You can get on the glass, you can scratch it off. I get it, man.

Just go windowless. No, it's awful. But it's all right. You just close the door, forget that room exists, and it's all good. Yeah, exactly. More of an open-air patio sort of a situation in that room. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, it's nice and breezy, but a free air con in there, it's good. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'm with you. Just leave it, bro. I like how you're justifying it. Yeah. I'm sure the neighbours are stoked you're windowless as well. Oh, yeah, it looks great because, you know, we live in a small town, so when you go into the supermarket, people are like, what's happened to your house?

Where are your windows? You should be like, oh, my God, someone stole them. Yeah, stop rushing me, mate. How do you believe it? They've only been out for three months. Corey, thanks for your call. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates.

You know what? I reckon your script reading's getting better. I think it is too. I give it five stars. Yeah know what? I reckon your script reading is getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars. Just like I'd give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast.

Thank you Vaughan and Hayley for that. Good boy. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.