ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th October 2023

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Top 6: 90's WeddingsShannon's New Show   Silly Little Poll!  Red Flag Clothing  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletchforn and Hayley. This cold snap, snow down to low areas in the lower South Island. I've just put my summer doona on. Oh, your doona. I was sweating last night in bed, I had a leg out.

Yeah, but it's the next couple of nights that are going to get cooler. Oh, yeah. I might snuggle up. But do you think I have to go back to my winter doona for like two days? No, just chuck a jumper on, hon. And cuddle up to your cat. Get a blankie. Get a blankie.

Get a blankie. Get a blankie. Okay, a little blankie. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just checking my period tracker. Day 28. What?

Whoa. What does that mean? That's imminent. Imminent. What is day one? The start. The start of your period. So then day 28 is the last day of not.

Well, that's a normal cycle. I've never been on one, but the last few months I have. And honestly, the last few days I have been grumpy! Congratulations. So grumpy. Yeah. Aaron said the other day, like, what can I do to make it better? I was like, I don't know, just leave me alone. He was like, not exist.

Roger. Roger that. And then you don't see him for a few hours and you're like, where is he? Wow, okay, so I just don't exist? Yeah. Leave me alone was a test. Leave me alone in my hour of need. What, right? The top six is coming up soon.

Yeah. Did you hear about this wedding? No. Kurt Cobain's daughter got married to Tony Hawk's son. Who looks so much like, I mean, I know it's his son, but it looks so much like Tony Hawk. And the person that married them was Michael Stipe from REM. Crazy.

Him and Kurt Cobain were besties. We were very good friends. So you have there the most 90s wedding possible. Or is it the top six more 90s wedding than the Hawk Cobain wedding by Michael Stipe? We'll give you the chance as well soon to go in the draw to see Olivia Rodrigo live in LA at the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball flights accommodation tickets. That's happening in the next half an hour. So listen out for that Olivia Rodrigo song.

Next, so guys, we've gone, we've made the news in the UK. New Zealand. It's not a good thing to make the news over. This is on 7Sharp. Last night as well, it seems to have had a little bit of a resurgence in being covered by the news, and it made me say, thank Christ we moved out of the suburbs.

City plagued by Celine Dion siren battles. Call for action. Celine Dion siren battles. I'll leave you New Zealand locals sleeveless. Siren Kings, colon, New Zealand city plagued by Celine Dion speaker battles. This is years ago, right? So it's back.

Because I clicked on those stories yesterday. I think The Guardian in the UK had a story. That's The Guardian, a way to be heard. The BBC had a story as well. And I was like, what is this happening all over again? It just never stopped. Yeah, it never stopped. But also the articles they're basing them on were from like 2021 or 2020. Because this is when I, before I moved, we lived next to like an industrial area,

like a long strip, Rosebank Road in Auckland, if you know it. And it's known as a drag strip and like basically the Siren King gathering point. So I hated it. And they'd basically steal speakers anywhere they could, like schools, tsunami sirens, chuck them on their cars. And then play like Crazy Frog or Celine Dion. Just annoying music at like insane volumes.

You're like, I'm not mad at Celine. It's not normally Celine that I hear in the city. It's just, I don't know what it is, but it's horrible. We lived in Te Atatu, West Auckland. It was always Bollywood music. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's a bit of that too. Yeah.

And you'd hear it coming from a mile away. Good mix. And it's at that moment, like in my apartment, I wish I had a rocket launcher. Oh, yeah. Because I'll hear them sometimes even getting up for work. At like 4 a.m., I'm like, you pricks. Go to sleep.

People are sleeping. Yes. Yeah. It made me, because I was on 7 Sharp last night as well. So did this kind of overseas interest kind of peak? I think so. Kind of got it back in the news cycle here? Let's have a look again at what's happening.

Well, there's one on The Guardian that's quoted an article from the spinoff, which was written, yeah, early, early 2022. Right. Yeah. That's slow to the party, isn't it? I was just going to have a lady on the TV last night who was like, oh, they say it's all like sanctioned events and stuff. And she's like, is it sanctioned at two o'clock in the morning

at the reserve 50 metres from my house? No. No. Can they do anything? Yeah, there's a whole lot of things they can do. Right. But they've got to catch them, you see. They've got to catch you, don't they?

They've got to catch them. Yeah, that's the thing. Because they're cheeky. They only put it on for five seconds. I know. They'll be at the lights. They'll chuck it on in the city and then just pretend it's not them. But then there's a lot of people on the show last night that have them on full display.

Right. So you'd be able to see it, but a lot of them have it hidden as well. God, we sound like old battlers. God, we delay. I just realised, a lot of these, a lot of these, tell me, these bastards, these bastards. Right. I just love my sleep. I just love my sleep. Yeah, it's just

and it sounds terrible. Take me back to the good old days of a Jonah Lomu fusion cast area. Fantastic. Pop open the bonnet, really crank some, you know, some sandstorm or some really, but a fat boy slim. I was more of a. 90s chemical brothers. Yeah, I was more of a pioneer car stereo system guy.

Yeah, I was a pioneer. Yeah, a bit flasher. I had fusion because I liked the inflatable aliens. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, cute. They were a pretty hot piece of property. Well, now that National will be the next government, does this mean Crusher Collins will start crushing some cars again? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, cute. They were a pretty hot piece of property. Well, now that National will be the next government, does this mean Crusher Collins will start crushing some cars again? Oh, yeah, crackdown.

Maybe she'll crush some Siren King cars. Yeah, maybe she will. That'll be good. And also TBC, special votes still to be counted. You never know. Are you holding out hope for the Greens? You never know. The Greens might come through with an absolute. You never know. Are you holding out hope for the Greens? You never know.

The Greens might come through with an absolute. Did all the national MPs that were out campaigning for national and like ACT, I mean ACT probably, but did they know that Christopher Luxon was also going to cut their holidays short this summer? Yeah. A bit shorter parliamentary break than like the last few years. You'd be a bit like, come on, boss. Come on, man.

You hear me? I've got people to vote for us. I've got a batch to visit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got to go check up on my three homes. We've been doing nothing for the last six years. It was easy peasy. Had all this money, bought myself a nice little batch,

and now I don't even get to enjoy it. Oh, my God. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. I almost forgot that I signed up for a new platform called Hey You, Reality On Demand. I forgot about that because it's a reality TV hub and I haven't even dived into it. I'm not watching any reality

TV at the moment. I'm having a cleanse. You're having a cleanse. Right, okay. I'm having a little cleanse. You know what? If I could say to not on TV2, it's the final of Down For Love, which is my favourite New Zealand... I've decided it is my absolute favourite New Zealand-made television

show. What? Okay. I'm sitting right here. Oh, wait. You are not nearly as cute as people with Down syndrome or a disability trying to find love. There's just simply nothing like it. Also, all of those shows have been... No.

Not the Bake Off. Bake Off hasn't been cancelled. No, Bank Off hasn't been cancelled. Yet. Seven Days hasn't been cancelled. All the other shows haven't been cancelled. I'm talking about reality TV.

Yes, I want to watch Down With Love. I watched the first season. It's the second season now, eh? Yes. And they go back to some of the first season and it is just,

it is the guy, I even think it could melt your ice heart. I was going to say Seven Days hasn't made you cry? Very close. The thing that always really gets me close to it is when the person doing the dating,

their dad starts talking about how special they are to them. And I'm just like, here we go, here we go, here we go. Do you want to cry? I sent you a video that was going to make you cry. Did you watch it? Nope. You're being a boss. I couldn't.

I wasn't in the right space. Okay, I'm going to send it to you, Fletch, and see if we can melt that ice heart of yours. He'll just be like, oh, well. I'm here for a cuddle. You can try. You can try. Well, producer Shannon, you've been watching a new show that you'd like to discuss.

Yeah, so have you heard of MILF Manor? No. That's all I want to hear about it. That's all I want to hear about it. I don't want to hear any more about MILF Manor. No, no, no, no, no. Hear me out. So it came out earlier this year,

but I finally jumped on board. I had a few seasons of 90 Day Fiance I was getting through, but now I'm finally on the MILF Manor train. The premise of the show is some real hot MILFs. They like to date younger men. Sorry, just straight up swearing into the mic there. I'm just reading

the description of it. Yeah, so hot mums who like to date younger men. Younger men who like to date hot mums, what they've done without telling the contestants is they've invited their mums and sons. So half the cast are these young boys and their mums are on the show.

This show currently has a 17% rating on Rotten Tomatoes where critics describe it as psychological torture and Freudian horror. No, but wait, What is the Google users? Because that's more... 44% likes the show. Okay, that's terrible then. Yeah, but basically you're watching a son watch his mum flirt with his new friends.

So wait, there's not... So there's the young boys and the older mums. Yes. There's... So all the children of the MILFs like older women? Yes. Oh, that's gross. And they're dating each other.

This has to be British, right? No, it's American. Yeah. Really? I thought surely the Brits would do this. These are the totals of the episode. Episode one, MILF said knock you out. Episode two, your MILF should know.

So like song titles with mother in it. Yeah. Three, your MILF don't dance. Four, she's a bad milf, Jumma. Five, milf, I'm a big boy now. Gross. Number six, milf told me not to come. Grosser.

Gross. Seven, milf's broken heart. Eight, I ain't your milf. And nine, I'll always love my milf. But get this, it gets even worse. So they're already dating their son's new friends they're having to like admit all these things they're hooking up the worst part is the mums and sons have to room with each other so then they like go back to their room and they're like oh i hooked up with your friend

tonight and he's like yeah i know i'm just don't understand the casting of this how they found older women who like younger men and they all just happen to have sons who also like. I mean it's a little bit. I'm hearing people acting isn't going so well. The youngest MILF is only two years older than I am. Shoot me in the face.

They said from 40 to 60 is the age range. And they're all very filled with filler and Botox. I bet they are. all very filled with filler and Botox. Oh, I bet they are. She's 44 with a 26-year-old. Not an eyebrow. Shell moo.

Does that mean she was 18 when she had... Eye. Goodness gracious. You can stream it on 3 now. I'm enjoying it. It's a great show. Get into it. I'm just watching a little trailer.

Even the young boys aren't cute. They look like little... Yeah, I don't know if you... ...diddles. I don't know if you've sold that show on many people, Shannon, to be honest. Oh, my God. That sounds absolutely horrible.

Work on the pitch, hon, I reckon. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley from the self-driving ZM Think Tank. This is the Top Six. Tony Hawk's son Riley has married Frances Bean Cobain, the daughter of Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain. Yes. Tony Hawk, Kurt Cobain. Massive 90s names.

Huge icons. Married by Michael Stipe of R.E.M. What's the Frequency? Kenneth. That's me in the corner. Yeah. That's me losing my religion. Well, these two got married.

I love R.E.M. Yeah, dude. Everybody. Not swimming. Des love a bit of R.E.M. Yeah, dude. Everybody heard. Not swimming. Deserves a quiet night. Don't think that's the words, but it's close enough. It is. No, it is.

Good lyrics from you. Thank you. But what a 90s matchup, right? Like very 90s. Skateboards. Punk. Grunge. Grunge.

Michael Stott. What would the equivalent be of two celebrities now? Two massive celebrities. Okay, so you need a huge alternative sports. Okay, so maybe like Shaun White. Shaun White the snowboarder. Yeah, okay. Maybe, is he a big enough?

Yeah, he's a big. Or two big people in our ears outside. Yeah. And then a massive band that's really like in the moment defining what music is at the... Olivia Rodrigo. Ed Sheeran's kids. Married.

Sean White's kid. Married by sort of an alternative overseer of Dave Grohl. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I had dreams about Dave Grohl last night. How bizarre that you just brought him up. From the Foo Fighters. What was happening?

From the Foo Fighters. I thought we were meeting each other. The Foo Fighters. That's nice of you. Well, I've got the top six more 90s wedding combinations than Hawk, Cobain, Michael Stipe. Yep. Number six on the list. Jonathan Taylor Thomas' son.

Yep. Married to Jennifer Love Hewitt's daughter. Whoa. By Alanis Morissette. Oh. Please come to the wedding of Mr. and Mrs to Jennifer Love Hewitt's daughter. Whoa. By Alanis Morissette. Oh. Please come to the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Love Taylor Hewitt Thomas. Love that. Love that.

That's really good. Number five on the list of the top six more 90s weddings than the Hawke, Cabane, Stipe combination. James Van Der Beek. Dawson. Oh my God. Getting married to Katie Holmes' daughter, Siri. Yep.

The wedding officiated by Taylor Hansen. Wow. Number four on the list of the top six more 90s weddings than the Hawke-Cabane-Stype combo. Michael Jordan's son marrying Brian from the Backstreet Boys' daughter and their celebrants are Monica and Brandy. Okay, great. This was fun.

This was a fun list to write. Yeah. We're just really having a... Nailing this. I'll wander down. Now, I'll tell you what. Okay, great This was fun This was a fun list to write Yeah We're just really having a We're nailing this I'll wander down Now, I'll tell you what This next wedding

This is a good looking wedding Because number three on the list Of the top six more 90s weddings Is Hawke, Cobain, Stipe Jennifer Aniston's daughter Marrying Devin Sawyer's son Devin Sawyer? And the celebrant is

Alicia Silverstein. Oh, my God. Yes, of course it is. Of course it is. Who else could it possibly be? It makes so much sense. You know Devin Sawyer? Yeah.

Still a good-looking dude. Is he? Still a good-looking dude. Stand by for my opinion on that. He played the human. You remember Devin Sawyer. No. Yes, you do.

Hey, dude. You know I remember Devin Sawyer. He was the human. When Casper the Friendly Ghost turned to a human, he was Devin Sawyer. No. I've got no idea who you're talking about. No. Oh,per the Friendly Ghost turned to a human, he was Devin Sawyer. No. I've got no idea who you're talking about. No. Oh, that's not the photo I saw where I said he was still good looking.

I'm not saying he's not a good looking man, but I've really... You don't remember 1990's Devin Sawyer? Yeah. Yeah, look at that photo that just got sent through. That guy. Yeah, okay. It's ringing a bell. It's ringing a bell.

Number two on the list of the top six more 90s wedding combos than Hawke, Cobain, Stipe Drew Barrymore's son marrying Jim Carrey's son Our first gay wedding on the top six Thank you Wow And the celebrant is Madonna

Of course it is Of course it is 90s gay icon Madonna Tell me who else it possibly could be It's Madonna Number one on the list of the top six more

90s wedding combos than Hawke, Cobain, Stipe. Shania Twain's daughter getting married to Celine Dion's daughter by Whitney Houston. Oh, she's dead. She's dead, hon. Yeah, and I don't know if those other ones even have daughters. I think the whole thing was fictitious. I don't know if these people have children.

I was just taking famous parents. Yeah. Tagging on a child. 1990s. That's today's top six play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey play ZM these stats come to us

bear this in mind use this as somewhat of a defence yeah because I don't want to start any arguments if you're with your partner right now

listening of course no we don't do that but I also think if you're listening and we're about to read out an industry that your partner was in

and they did cheat on you, you could just text yes, and then what the industry was to 9696. Yes. So I have the top 10 industries for workplace affairs.

I'll start at 10. That's how lists work. Yeah. Now, the number 10 on the list is quite low with 4% rate of affair with a colleague. Yeah. Now, the number 10 on the list is quite low with 4% rate of affair with a colleague.

That's like, this is low on the list. Armed forces. I've slept with quite a few soldiers. Do they have partners? No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't get in between. You wouldn't? 100%. 100%. Yeah. Okay. Number 9 on the list,

IT. Oh, yeah. Haunting of the computers. IT. Oh, yeah, horny little computers. Yeah, IT. Well, they can get in, they can read your emails, they can get to know you before you even know yourself. Yeah. They know exactly how to butter you up. Yeah.

Number eight on the list of top industries with workplace affairs, accountancy, banking, and finance. Oh, so like the money people. The money people. That's hot. Property and construction. I reckon their jobs would be so boring

that they've got to spice it up with an affair. A little bit of hand stuff. Yeah. Next on the list, property and construction number seven.

Oh yeah, you builders. That's hot. That's hot. Yeah, it's those shorty shorts, isn't it? Yeah,

it's the little shorty shorts and the belt, the big leather belts with the hammers hanging off them. I was like, come inside and have a cup of tea. I did wonder where the last half of that sentence was going. I saw.

Number six. Number six on the list of the top industries for workplace affairs, engineering and manufacturing. You know things get pretty hot and steamy in a plastics factory. Yeah. Well, you've set the mould, the plastics have been injected into it and you've just got to wait for it to cool down. Yeah, so you may as well kiss.

Yeah. Might as well. You might as well kiss. Number five on the list of top industries for workplace affairs, hospitality and events management. Yeah, 100. Yeah, 100. Hospo.

Hospo. We're having drinks, it's late, closing up the bar. It's an insane time of the day to be functioning professionally Yeah, it really is And that's why they can't And then you've got all these events and there's probably hot people there Yeah, I know I always just think they'd be with each other

Now, number four on the list of the top industries for workplace affairs And I would have thought this would have been quite hard Unless you're having an affair with yourself Transport and logistics Like, that would be truckies Yeah, but they meet up in the middle of nowhere affairs. And I would have thought this would have been quite hard unless you're having an affair with yourself. Transport and logistics. Like, that would be truckies. Yeah, but they meet up in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, because it will be not just with other truckies

travelling away. You always hear about truckies having second families. Yeah. God, yeah. Pull up to a motel on the side of the road and get yourself a little hank pink. Number three on the side of the road and get yourself a little pink. Number three on the list of the top industries for workplace abuse. Where did this come from? From the UK.

Right. This has got Ashley Madison written all over it. You know, Ashley Madison would always release like, we ask people. It's just an online UK study that's been done. Healthcare at number three on the list. Healthcare workers. Oh yeah, nurses. As documented on Shortland Street.

Oh my God. Very incestuous. What percentage? Healthcare workers have a 13% affair with a colleague rate. That's getting up there. That's getting up there. Because the highest on the list is 15. So number two on the list, teachers, training and education. Oh, my God.

I know. Like, you know, they're the hot dad of the kids you teach. Meet me down in the Dewey Decimal System. You should say, you make my decimal system Dewey. Oh, that's good. That's good. That's good. Yes.

The biology teacher. Probably the only person on the entire faculty that knows where the pleasure center is. Oh, that's good. That's good. That's good. The biology teacher. Probably the only person on the entire faculty that knows where the pleasure centre is. And it's out the back of his classroom. Yeah, everybody's just fumbling around down there. He's like, and she's like. Okay, so there's one. She's a singing teacher. There's one industry left, the top industry

for workplace affairs. I haven't said it yet. What is it? You said like, like builders, finance, computers. Your father works in finance.

I'm sorry to have, I'm sorry to have dragged him into that. Is this why I don't look that Maori? Because my mother's not my real mother. Nah. The easy way to do it

is that your mother cheats on your father. Real estate? Hard for him to get a fertilised embryo from another woman into your mother without her knowing, you know. It's very tricky, but not impossible. Fitness? No, real estate and fitness aren't

on the list. Number one, the number one industry for workplace affairs, sales. Oh, yeah. Is it because you're trying to get drunk at lunchtime every day? Yeah. Or is it because you're always out meeting people? So you're just meeting so many people? You mean like schmoozing and...

Schmoozing can sometimes be flirting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Oh, totally. Okay, that all makes perfect sense. And then before you know it, you're sealing the deal. You're sealing the deal.

You're doing a little hand stuff just to get, you know, to meet your KPI. Yeah, exactly. You've got to reach your targets, you know, and it's not going to happen. So you. Yeah. I'll do anything for those KPIs. Yeah. You get a little hand stuff going on.

The text we receive. I asked people to text yes and then the industry. Yes, armed forces. Oh, naughty boys. Yes, came in at the same time as finance. Someone said, yes, a teacher got my dad. Got my dad. Got my dad.

Fell into the trap. A teacher got my dad. Somebody said, I can't believe professional sports people aren't on the list. Oh, yeah. I know they should be. They should be. I guess there's just not enough professional sports people. Yeah.

Like such a small industry when you think about it. Yeah. Definitely healthcare, yes. We had a young doctor who was hooking up with a young trainee and a senior doctor at the same time. Oh, good Lord. That's why you do seven years at med school. You deserve it.

Hell yeah, man. You deserve it, man. Your student loan's huge. You pay that thing off. Stressful job. Yeah. Might as well be sleeping with as many people as possible. Now we know about the gender inequality

gap, the pay gap. It's a topic of huge conversation and apparently this inequality is costing Australian women around $2 million in their lifetime. So Australian women will earn less than $2 million in their lifetime. So Australian women will earn less than $2 million in their lifetime. Now, this is all based on median.

How much are people earning in their lifetime? Yeah, it feels like a lot. What's the average salary in New Zealand? When you add it up. Average salary in New Zealand. That's pre-tax. Yeah, it would be. That just feels like a lot. $97,000

No. Didn't they say the average household income in New Zealand is just over $70,000 now? Well there's difference there's medium and then there's average. Medium, average. Let's say $80,000 Yep. So how am I doing this? How do I do the math science? Yeah Medium, average Let's say 80,000 Yep

So how am I doing this? How do I do the math science? How many years are you doing like a work life? Yeah, how many years do you work for? Well, what's your total that you're trying to work for? Well 2 million No, they're earning 2 million less

How many years would you work? Well, let's say 45 18, 45 45 times So you go I'd go 2 million I'd go two million. I'd go six months. If you worked for 45 years,

is that what you said? Yeah. At 80,000 on average, it's 3,600,000. Oh my God, that's like lotto. No, but you wouldn't make, yeah, but that's tax,

you've got no tax. Oh, then it's tax. No expenses. Literally 45 years. Yeah. Okay, it's not as impressive when you look at it like that, is it's tax. No expenses. Literally 45 years. Okay. It's not as impressive when you look at it like that, is it? Yeah. I'm not quite sure how they worked this out,

but this is the stat that they're working with. The whole article is more about how it needs to stop. Yeah. So did they say a percentage of how much less women are paid than men? Because that's probably where they derived it from. 30%. 30%. 30%, yeah. And so 30% is $2 million.

They're saying men would be earning $6 million over that period. I guess that's what they're saying. Over 45 years. I was looking on the edge of this because there's always that date where women in New Zealand work for free for the rest of the year in general. That date. Now, did you know 10 years ago that date would be the 14th of November? Okay. It is now the 26th of November that we start working for free.

So that's good. We're closing the gap. But slowly. Slowly. Yeah. I mean, obviously, it's all varied on industry and whatnot, but overall, look forward to it. We've got one more month of paid work.

Who did hear first, ladies? Which is taking a pay cut? He's outraged at this. Spreading it amongst the females on the show. Why don't you take a pay cut? Because I'm not a hero. I'm not a hero. You said it's moving slowly.

I was like, we're moving in the right direction. Do you know, with the money that he's taking the cart, he's actually splitting it between myself, Shannon and Carwen. Girls, well done. I'm a hero. I'm absolutely a hero. Why can't Gordon be a hero? I never said I was. He didn't want to. He's happy that the women are earning less. I said we're moving in the right direction.

I'm happy as hell. Girlies, what do you want to do with our extra money? Oh my God, this is outrageous. And he's silencing them too. Can you pay for my full licence, please? Oh, my God. Have you still not booked your licence? To be fair, Fletch actually offered to pay for your full licence. Yeah, he did.

I actually did. I actually did. The offer has passed. What are you going to do, Karwini? Maybe I'll just go out for a nice little cocktail. Should we go out for drinks and stuff? And it's on Fletch and his pay cut. Money well spent.

Oh, my God. And let's go shopping and get some nice clothes. We'll go out. We'll go shopping and then we'll go out for drinks and stuff? And it's on Fletch and his pay cut. Money well spent. Oh my God. And let's go shopping and get some nice clothes. We'll go out. We'll go shopping and then we'll go out. And then you will work for free. You'll be remembered for this. You'll be remembered for this. Put it on my headstone.

Yeah, and I reckon they'll put you on money one day. Because they put Kate Shepard on there. Yeah, actually. Well, women, one more month of working for what we're actually paid and the rest of it's for free. So from the 26th of November, I will be phoning it in. And then I will also

that will be my You'll be phoning it in? I'll be phoning it in as well. Because you're not a hit. In solidarity. In solidarity with me now. That means the world to me. We're all heroes in our own way, aren't we? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole today is do you know your partner's number off by heart?

This is their phone number, not their number of conquests. Although you do know both. I do know both. Yep. Good with it all. 61% of people said yes, they know it off by heart. Really? Wow.

39% said no. This is their partner, though. You'd think in a pinch you want to know one number, it's probably going to be your partner's number. I mean, you might have to write their number down a couple of times, but it's always in context. I know Aaron's off by heart, yeah. But that's because you've known him so long.

Would you have met, you would have been in the period before, like, not having a phone? No you would have. No no no no no no. You would have. No no no no no no no no. No 2011 we got together. No there was iPhones

when they got together. Yeah. Yeah there was. But we I know his off by heart my mum's off by heart my dad's off by heart my best friend's off by heart.

But why? And for some reason my ex-boyfriend from when I was a teenager it's just like one of those ones that just It's burnt in there.

It's burnt in. I know a bunch of people's landlines from when I was young and. It's just like one of those ones. It's burnt in there. It's burnt in. I know a bunch of people's landlines from when I was young and they're just in there. They just rattle around in there. Yeah, same. Yeah. And those people do not live

at those houses anymore. Of course not. They don't have the landlines. In fact, my parents probably don't even live at those houses anymore. They probably don't even have a landline. Yeah. Probably not.

Why would you? You've got to know some numbers. It's safety Yeah I'd be screwed Shut up I don't know Anyone

Don't you You don't know Your parents numbers I know they They changed To their landline After years And years

And years Could they not Take it with them They moved too far Nah they Yeah They moved out of the zone But they've got cell phones

You don't know your mum's No but it's just contacts I don't know Anyone's number Even Vaughn's just contacts. I don't know anyone's number. Even Vaughan's, I've forgotten yours. I know yours. Yeah. Should I read it out? Yeah. Absolutely not. Just to see if I got it right.

You should not. Alright, some feedback. Renee on this topic says, no, I do not, but our seven-year-old does. They're like a little walking telephone number. Yeah. Hey, what's dad's number? Rattles it off.. Hey, what's dad's number? Rattles it off. Did you make your kids remember your number?

They know, yeah, because they bring home these little, it's pretty cool. Lately they've both had St. John at the school. Yeah. And not the man himself, not St. John, the biblical figure. The ambulance. The ambulance provider. And they come in and they say,

and August is of the age where it's like, you call this number when something goes wrong and your mum and dad's name and your address and your phone number. Yeah. But Indy did CPR this year. Wow.

And she's like, they told me I wasn't pushing hard enough because you didn't hear the ribs cracking. Now that's a lot. Jesus. That's a bit much.

Yeah, apparently those new CPR dolls, you're like, if you're not pushing hard because you've got to crack a couple of ribs. It's a bit dangerous though Yeah, apparently those new CPR dolls, you're like, if you're not pushing hard, because you've got to crack a couple of words. It's a bit dangerous, though, because you don't want to be passed out after a drunk night and wake up to your kid giving you cracked ribs and CPR

because she thinks you're dead. You've got a caved-in sternum, and you're like, oh, for God's sake, I was fine. I was just having a little nunny. It's funny if you think it would be me that they'd be doing CPR on when Sade is always three stages drunker than I am. That's true.

Bridget says, yes, I know his, but he has not a clue of mine. I assume that's phone number, not actual numbers. Yeah. Landline, yes, says Kelly. Cell phone numbers, no. The landline is burned into the deep recesses of my brain from when I was a kid, but cell numbers are far too long for my frazzled adult brain

to recall I just don't bother remember when so it's always been 021 or 027 or 025 and then at the start

it was 33 like a lot of 3 and another lot of 3 they were 6 long after that initial one then prepaid came out and it was like 34 then do you remember

when they ran out of those and it was like 021 then 4 numbers do you remember when they ran out of those and it was like 0-2-1, then four numbers, then four more numbers? Yeah, there are some that are 3-3-5 and you're like, huh? Yeah, way too long. That's too long to remember off the top of my head. Kirstie said, yes I do know.

Christy said, I do apologise the R is in the wrong place there. Christy said, yes, and only because the last two digits are his, I just switched around and then my phone number is that number. Oh, that's handy.

They got their phone numbers at the same time. Yeah. I bet. I hate this. 15 years together and I still can't remember his, says Marie.

There's 15 years with the same person. Yeah. Wild. Wow. Oh God, I'm nearly there. Kat said, I remember it because I fill out all the forms on everybody's behalf, so I've got to remember their number.

I think I've done so much admin with Aaron, I know his passport number, his date of birth, his number, his everything. And you used to know Sade's passport number, but then you have to get a new one, and it's just, I'm not remembering. Because when you travel, it was like, don't go and get up and get your bag out. Just LT, three, five, whatever it is, you know? You all don't read it out. Steal my identity.

Don't read it out. Someone will steal your identity. I mean, you're welcome to it. It's a wild life being me. It's a wild ride full of highs and lows. Yeah. That is a silly little poem. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Flume on ZM. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It's 16 past seven. First name Log. Log? Log Flume. Jesus Christ. I was like, what are you?

I was like. What's the name? Flume. First name Log. Log. the name? Flume. First name, Lug. Lug. I'm Lug Flume. Ah. God, this coffee's perked me up.

Yeah, it's good from you. Here she is. Thank you. Now, there is a new, very bizarre Gen Z trend. God, they love a trend, Gen Z. And this time they are basing where they go on holiday. Yeah. Must be nice. Gen Z, you basing where they go on holiday. Yeah. Must be nice.

Gen Z, you've been young and going on holiday. Oh, I did that a little bit actually. I didn't know how money worked. Yeah, right. They're basing where they go on holiday. I'm pretty sure that's exactly how money works. You get it and you spend it. You spend it. Yes. Stop this stupid savings account

and this retirement plan. Am I right? Where they're basing, where they go on holiday on astrology. The art of which is called astrocartography. A branch of astrology that matches one's, don't roll your eyes just yet. One's astrological birth chart to a world map to see the geographic regions with which it aligns. It's had 84.5 million views on TikTok. More than GirlMath.

Yeah. Okay, fair call. Okay. So where would you, based on your star sign or my star sign, go on holiday? Let me just show you the map. So that's how it's done. Oh, God. Like, it's very complicated.

But thankfully, one TikToker has broken it down. Who have we got? What star signs have we got? Pisces. Pisces. Pisces. Piscus. Casp.

Which one am I on the cusp of? Aquarius and Pisces. Let's just go Pisces for ease of the chart. Well, I know I want to go which one's better. That's a good thing, but I'm a cusp. You pick which one's better. Aquarius ends on February 18. Pisces starts February 19.

You're the 20th. You're not cusp. You're deep Pisces. No, sometimes it's like 19, 20. No. Pisceans seek spiritual and artistic inspiration. Visit places like Bali.

You are a Bali basic. Or the Greek islands for creative and introspective journeys. I mean, those are a Bali basic. Or the Greek islands for creative and introspective journeys. I mean, those are two great destinations. Those are just great destinations. Who wouldn't want to go to Bali or the Greek islands? Test me, cancer.

Cancerians seek comfort and emotional connection. I'm calling BS on that. Physical connection. Opt for family oriented trips to places like Hawaii or the English countryside. Oh darling. I mean I've been to Hawaii. I am

je suis une libra. Librans value aesthetics and balance. Choose romantic getaways to places like gay Paris or Venice. Been to both those places. Love them. Where are we in the booth? You're a Gen Z Shannon.

Would you follow this? Yeah, go on. Have you based anything on star signs or any major decisions or any decisions? I don't do Scorpio men anymore. I did like three of them in a row. Wait, so you meant the hottest guy in the world ever, and he said, I'm a Scorpio. You'd be like, laters.

I mean, I would already look it up before I met him. I'd do a Facebook stalk and then no, and then be like, nah, it's not for me. Have we just entered Scorpio territory? Yeah, I've had so many ex-boyfriends and birthdays pop up on Facebook. Really? Yeah, it's not for me.

Jason Momoa's Leo. Leo and Librans, does that work? Yeah, he's a big Leo energy. Yeah, he is. He's a big lion. It's all a load of rubbish. Now, what star sign are you, Shannon? I'm a Gemini, just before Fletch.

Janimi. Jamini, social and curious. I agree with those. Geminis enjoy city hopping and meeting new people. Destinations like Madrid or New York offer cultural diversity and excitement. Because I'm a cast Gemini Cancer. That's me too. Oh my god.

Maybe I should listen to this. Maybe you should come over to the Gemini side a bit more often. Maybe. Are you flirting? Karween, where are you? I'm a Cancer as well. Okay, so you're going Hawaii with family oriented stuff in the English countryside no she's like no

and finally producer Jared I'm Sagittarius Saggy it's probably gonna say Africa because he's from Africa Sagittarians crave

adventure and exploration go for a safari in Africa oh my god guys Fletch knows oh my god oh my god am I in sync with the I think like cancer's rising or something yeah oh my god Oh, my God, guys. Fletch knows. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Am I in sync with the... I think, like, cancer's rising or something.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't wait to go on these holidays. I love that. Oh, I can't believe people are actually booking holidays based on that. 85.5 million people are being like, Each sun sign has distinct characteristics that align themselves with the destination. What?

Yeah. Oh wait, hang on, let me just see where Jason's going. French Riviera, well that's or Las Vegas for parties and entertainment. He'd go parties. He'd go French Riviera on like a jet ski or something. Where am I going? Paris or Venice? That's by the French Riviera.

Yeah, or France. We're both in France. Meant to be. You're really clinging on to this Jason and Marla thing. That's what I'm putting together. For a start, I want to say this is the first time I have ever heard the term micro-apartment. Oh, God, that feels awful. Have ever heard the term micro apartment. Oh God, that feels awful. Micro apartment? Tiny little

Like a studio apartment. Apparently does not meet the criteria in Australia of what is described as a studio apartment. I saw a guy on Instagram who goes around Japan visiting the smallest apartments he can find

and the way that they cleverly hide everything and have a little one gas burner. They're like a stack of tiny homes. Yeah. You wish they were. There was one the other day and he could lean his torso like that and touch each side of the walls. Oh, yeah.

That's enough for me. So there's a building of micro apartments where they're about $370 Australian dollars a week for a micro apartment. Yep. One room. We'll just imagine an apartment and then imagine what constitutes making it.

Really small. Micro. Well, a person who was looking for accommodation in Australia noticed that it says, each apartment is for single occupancy only due to council and fire restrictions. Guests are permitted to visit but are not allowed to stay overnight. That's how small these are.

They are not legally allowed to due to fire and council restrictions have more than one person living in them. Yeah, wow. That's nuts. So the landlord's effectively saying no sleepovers. No night time, 60 times. Well, daytime sleepovers. No sexy times. Well, daytime and standing. No way.

Yeah, by the sounds of it. Standing the coitus only. Otherwise your feet are going to be touching one wall and your head's going to be banging against the other. Yeah, you'll put a hole through it. That's how wide it is. So guests are allowed, but they just can't stay. They're not allowed to stay the night.

Oh, lame. Yeah. Somebody said, is this landlord constituted smash and dash? Now, I've never heard smash and dash. I've heard tap and gap. Tap and gap, smash and dash. Yeah. Passion dash, I've heard.

Smash and dash. Yeah, this is classy Australian stuff. You're getting smashed. A root and two. So this is just the occupancy rules. The dwellings. This thing feels like it's just going to instantaneously combust too. Fire restrictions say not more than one person's allowed in this room overnight.

Yeah. Yeah. What if you've got a boyfriend? You're just never allowed to have him stay. You're going to have to find a new place to live. This is a apartment for singles. Because would you even fit a double bed in? It does.

I mean, it'd be a single. You might be able to fit it in the room. Yeah. How would you get it in there? And the room would then be the bed. Yeah. You know? It's sad that they even let that allow to be built.

That's just high density, though. They're just saying that that's just somebody. And if they're charging, what did I say? $370 Australian dollars a week. Get out. Yeah. Get out. That's like what, that's Auckland rent. For a micro apartment.

For a room, you know, in a cheap-ish flat. Yeah. Oh my God. What age did you guys move into a double bed? From single. Second year uni, so 19. So first year uni, you were in a single. I bought it because there was no student accommodation,

so I bought it and I was in this tiny room and it only fit a single in it. Big born Smith needs more than a single. Broke it though. Broke the bed. Yeah, it was weird when I would go to people's residence for a little hanky-panky and you'd be like, oh, I'm in a single bed.

How embarrassing. Embarrassing for both of us, mate. Yeah. And then be like, the RA's coming! Oh no! Oh yeah, those single beds in student halls. At least this was my bed. I feel like when you go into halls of residence

and you're just in the single bed that's been there for 10 years, that bed's seen some things. And especially, you know I don't want to get a UTI, so I'm popping to the toilet afterwards, and that's a shared place. That's a communal toilet. I'm tottering down the hall like, oh my God, what just happened? Oh, yeah. 25 minutes away from 8.

Next on the show, a uniform has been banned. Oh, no. Hopefully it's the sexy maid. Though I am considering it for Halloween. Watch out, boys. I know we're spending Halloween together. Might get a little bit turned on. I don't know how I feel about that.

Carnip University Students' Union have, like, forced a ban on a particular uniform. And you will know this uniform. It's a uniform that all men have. And I suspect in one way or another, both of you have worn this uniform. I doubt it. It is the uniform of a pair of Tanchinos. In the past, I've had Tanchinos, yes.

Yes. Thank you for being honest. I feel like David Beckham. Be honest. Be honest. Be honest. Thanks. I feel like David Beckham, be honest. Be honest. Be honest. I don't know if I have. A tan trowel?

I've got linen. The ones I wore to the wedding that you're thinking of were linen. Okay. But were they tan? I feel like you have in the past. Your bone or cream is the same as tan. Yeah. When it comes to a pant 100% And a blue shirt

We know this uniform right A dress shoe, a tanchino and a blue shirt Wasn't there that big Australian race day In Sydney a few weeks ago The spring races, the dress code They banned men in They called it the uniform The coordination of tanchinos

And blue jacket Because the people that wear that, and there was like thousands of them, were causing havoc. Look at this photo of producer Jarrod. He's in that exact thing next to the midi in this photo. Oh, no, that's his phone screen. You're literally wearing it.

A little troublemaker. He's a little troublemaker. Oh, you look so good, Horne. But do you know what, guys? They look good in a pair of chinos and a blue shirt. They scrub up well, don't they? I know. But it's the go-to, isn't it?

It's the go-to. And honestly, it's like a lot of douchebags are wearing this uniform. It's become synonymous with the D-bag. With the D-bag. Yeah. Exactly. So that's why they're going like, don't wear this. They're putting a ban on us.

And quite often you have some RMs, some nice RMs with them. A brown shoe. Are you wearing, Jared, are you wearing a brown shoe in that photo? He's got a brown belt on. Yes. Yeah. My boys are in the uniform.

There you go. It's a classic. It is a classic. And it's a nice look, but you're right. Like you see some men wearing it. Like Jared, you are not a D-bag and you are not,

you do not, you know, behave in this way. Thank you. But you know, you are not a D-bag. And you are not, you do not, you know, behave in this way. You've got Cup and Show Week coming up. This is the classic. We've been many years and this is, I might have even worn some Tino's once with the brown shoes. Yeah. And then later in the day, the shoes

like, because I've been drinking out of it. It's a classic at the races. No! Even the summer wedding as well. Yep's a classic at the races. Oh, sure it is. Sure it is. Sure it is. No. Even the summer wedding as well. Yep, that was at his summer wedding. That's a classic.

Summer wedding is great because you're a chino, slightly lighter than a black pant or a jean. But this whole student association is what, saying on campus at like bars and events. If you're part of that, you can't wear it at events and stuff. Oh, no. For them in particular, it was the short-sleeved blue shirt. But any blue shirt.

I mean, you've shortened your sleeves by rolling them up there, which is also part of the uniform, isn't it? Yeah. If it's long-sleeved, they're going to be rolled, baby. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so basically they're saying if you're in this outfit, it's a real red flag.

Yep. And I can sort of see that you're going to drink too many brewskis, you're going to have a drink from your shoe, and then you're going to probably piss yourself in your chinos. And because they're camel-coloured, I'm going to see it. I'm going to see the wheeze. I'm going to see the you're going to drink too many brewskis, you're going to have a drink from your shoe, and then you're going to probably piss yourself in your chinos, and because they're caramel, camel coloured, I'm going to see it. I'm going to see the wheeze. I'm going to see the wheeze. They don't hide a dribble, I'll tell you that.

You've got to wipe. You've got to wipe when you're in your chino. Bloody sink splashed all up me. Oh my god. Powerful faucet, that one. Okay, dribbles. I want to know if there is a particular item of clothing that for you is a big red flag,

that you see them in something and you're like, douche. Now from our live show, one of our audience members shared a story about sleeping with someone and she knew they were trouble because they were wearing a swinglet. And we were like, what's a swinglet? It's a tank singlet with a hood on it.

And we were like, yes! That was brilliant. It shouldn't be called a hoodlet it. And we were like, yes! That was brilliant. It shouldn't be called a hoodlet. It shouldn't be called a swinglet. I wanted to know where the W came from in swinglet. Well, the hood's like swinging, I guess. It's funny to me, though. But that was a red flag for her.

Or it wasn't because she slept with him. True. I mean, the red flag was that he was in a gang. But anyway, that's a whole different story. No, but maybe it's like, you know, like a pointed croc shoe. And you're like, oh, dear. Oh, my God. Pointy shoes?

Yeah. Like that triangle out? You're town shoes, bro. Oh, pointy men in pointy shoes. What are, girlies, are there any red flags in clothing that spring to mind? Oh, my gosh. Those jeans that guys wear that have like ribbing in them. I don't know what ribbing.

Knee patches? Yeah, on the knees. And they're really tight except for the ribbing. Or like those jeans that South American or Europeans seem to love with lots of pockets and zips. There are zippy people, the Europeans. Acid wash. Acid wash with zips chains.

No, no, no. Not the acid wash. Like real bleachy stain. I know what you're talking. Tight. Oh, like the knees. Dude, we tried to make our own versions of those. We bought some in the early 2000s, Hamilton days.

Yeah. We bought real cheap jeans from Save Mart and took them home and bleached them. Trying to get that bleach chain. Oh, my God. I still look terrible. But I paid $5 for jeans, so I was wearing them. Yeah, and then you wrote G-Star Raw on them.

Yes! Yeah. No, I wrote Juicy Couture across the ass. Across the ass, yeah. With a fluff it pen and then fluffed it up with a hairdryer. We simply must, at this point of the conversation, open up the phone lines because... We simply must.

0800-DARLS-IT-M. Oh, dear. Come on. They're coming in hot. Yes. Give me more. Give me more. Give me more. Text us 9696.

Give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. Is there a piece of clothing that for you is a red flag? We want to know if there's an item of clothing, a fashion item that is a real red flag for you. The classic uniform of chinos and blue shirt has been banned by a student's association. What I love is our friends, our mutual friends Casey and Jake. Casey

sitting in a picture of Jake who went to our live show in the uniform of camel chinos and a blue shirt. It works. I don't think you need to worry about Jake. It works on every single man and yet you can see he's about to have too many drinks. Somebody said this is, you've just described the exact uniform of my ex-boyfriend, R.M. Williams, brown chanos, light blue dress shirt, drinks too much,

gets out of hand, and then pisses his own pants. You piss his own pants. A little bit sunburned. Pisses his own pants. You see them at 10 p.m. with a big rosy face. Are we saying, though, that guys can't wear this combo because it works and it's still cool? Look, it's just if you're wearing this combo, you've got to behave

yourself. You've got to buck the trend. Katie, what is the fashion item, the item of clothing that for you is a red flag? It's not exactly clothing but it indicates what the clothing that person would be wearing would be.

It's a Velcro wallet. So convenient, though. So convenient. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We did have a couple of messages in about chains on wallets. A chain on a Velcro wallet. Yeah.

I thought chains were coming back. Aren't they? No. Okay, thank you for clarifying, Katie. Katie has banned them. Fashion's my passion, but I get it wrong sometimes. I feel like nobody's doing the Velcro wallet anymore, are they? You're right.

The sound is a real, I'm going to say, boner killer. Katie, quick question while we've got you. Men in turtlenecks, yes or no? Oh, no. She's a good girl. No, every now and then it's got to be a fine knit. A fine knit turtleneck. No. It's classy good girl. No, every now and then it's got to be a fine-knit, a fine-knit turtleneck. No.

Actually. It's classy. It can be classy. It can be fancy. Actually, Jake Gyllenhaal turtleneck, that's okay. Yeah, exactly. You're telling me Jake Gyllenhaal's in a turtleneck? The man's making the turtleneck there.

Idris Elba in a turtleneck? He rocks a turtleneck often. He does a turtleneck well. Friend of the show, Matt, has messaged in, RM Williams belt buckle. That's a red flag for him. Oh, like the big cowboy buckles. Yeah, the big buckle.

Oh, look at this cowboy western out here with her RM Williams buckle. Yeah, Georgia. That's just a belt. That's just a belt. That doesn't have the big buckle on it. You don't have the big buckle. Like that. Those round ones.

Okay. Let's go to Holly. Holly, what's the red flag fashion item for you? Hi, guys. So I was casually seeing this fella, and we went out to drop some meat off to some friends, and he was wearing this hat, and it was a wolf, with, like, the legs were, like, the dangly bits on the sides.

Oh, yes, I've seen these. Yeah. Do you have a hat like this for? What? A wolf? Like, it's an animal with the legs as, like, the tassels. How long were the tassels? But are we talking official spirit hood? Because I've got one of those. But I'm Big Papa Bear.

Yeah. I've got a big bear spirit hood. Like these. Like an animal beanie. Yeah, that's what boys go. Mine's not some comical gaffe. Mine is... Holly, embarrassing. I'm a creature of the wild. Right, okay, so that's a big red flag. Any kind of beanie that's comical or...

Yeah, comical beanie. We're getting comical hats. Somebody just messaged in bucket hats. Ooh, yuck. But they went major last year. Yeah, we've moved away from them. Says the guy whose head is too big for any bucket hat. We're talking about your fashion red flags.

Yeah, like the uniform, the men's uniform of Chino. Camelchino's blue shirt. Why? Are you reading something that you wear, Vaughn? A denim jacket with the sheepskin around the neck. I love those. Aaron's got one of those. Those are the best. And it's just never cold enough in Auckland to warrant one.

Yeah. You always wear it and you're like, man, I'm hot. And then you take it off and you're like, too cold. Sherpa, that's the style. Sherpa. Yeah, that rules. Those are great. Oh, damn.

The same person that said denim jacket with the sheepskin around the neck said silk boxes. Yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh my God, silk boxes. Yes, that's a huge red flag. Do they even still sell silk boxes? Yes. I went to go find my father some underwear.

Long story. He didn't shit himself, but he was close. He wanted to be prepared. Anyway, I went and I was looking in the undies for the men and I was like, silk boxes, we're still here. Yeah, my dad still sleeps in them. You go to like, you're in place and you'll go in and share and he'll walk out in a t-shirt that is literally 23 years old.

Yeah. And silk boxes and you're just like, there they are. They're still made. Still here. Great to see the Ford Motor Company is supporting. Has he got Ford silk boxes? He's got Ford silk boxes. Oh my God. In the pantsies. Let's go to Reid. Reid, Company is supporting. Has he got Ford's? He's got Ford's. Oh, my God.

In the pants, he is. Let's go to Reid. Reid, what is your fashion red flag? So, there was one Tinder date I actually went on. I turned up to this girl's house to pick her up, and she walked outside in three-quarter pants. Are we talking a tight capri or a loose-fitting cargo? A loose-fitting cargo.

Are we talking, so we're talking mid shin, right? Not just an ankle. Yeah, definitely mid shin. Mid shin. I looked at them and that was an instant no, no. No, thank you. You were a no, no. I've got to agree.

Mid shin, like ankle graze is fine, seven eighths. Right. Yeah. But three quarters, no, that's rough. Three quarters, mid shin, just giving away those, you know, mid 2000s vibes. No, thank you. Yeah, but this is all coming back into fashion, though.

No, we've got to stop it in its tracks. We've got to stop. Reid, thanks, you call some messages in. Somebody said, any men's jeans that have big white writing on them? I'm talking lower. I'm talking iLab. That's a red flag for me. DC skate shoes.

Someone said, here's my list of ballet flats, blue hair. If you're wearing horse riding gear in public, I've got more. Jogpers. Jogpers in public, yeah. How does one politely tell their partner to change their style? That's a question for another day. We can deal with that. No, you just do it slowly but surely.

You just use that. I have transformed a man. Changing them. When men wear anything slightly bedazzled, that's a big no-no for me. Yeah. But quiet. Mike Hosking might be listening.

But he loves a bedazzle. Loves a bedazzle. When people were doing those, what was that brand? Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy. Christian. What was the precursor to Ed Hardy? Christian something.

I don't know. Yes. The tattoo-y. Yeah. That one. Yeah. They had The tattoo-y. Yeah. That one. Yeah. They had a little bit dazzling. I love this text.

I can't handle if a man de-robes in the wrong order and has a moment of T-shirt and no undies. Just yuck with you, Willie, hanging down. Oh, yeah, Winnie the Pooh. Ick, ick. You got a Winnie the Pooh at. It's silly. You look so silly.

You don't want to see it? You don't want to see it? No, but I want to see you in your boxes with your shirt off first. Then I want to see you, Willie. Not just Willie like flaccidly hanging below the headline. Oh, it is cringe. White jeans. Someone said toe rings.

If a girl takes off her shoes and she's got toe rings on, she's crazy. Yeah, run for the hills. Tight-fitting black strapped necklaces. Oh, like a choker Oh like a fit choker I don't think chokers are hot Those slip on sketchy shoes for men Yeah yuck slip on

Very comfortable though and good for the foot Checking shorts Won't even have it in a board short at the beach Woman in the pub with little leather backpacks I've got a little leather backpack Don't wear your little leather backpack. Don't wear your little leather backpack. Unless you're my mum got a netball.

What's in there, your keys? On that, somebody has a thing with the guys wearing the bum bags across their... Cross body. Cross body. Someone wants to know what those young men have in there. Drugs and vapes, I'm sorry. Drugs and vapes. Singlets with really big arm holes that the gym bros wear. So, at least one nipple showing at all times.

Yeah, that's it. You're really low. Just the top of an ab. Yeah. I mean, thank God we're getting a couple of texts in for the humble fedora. Not to be confused with the wide brim hat. Wide brim hat, hot. Fedora, not.

DC skate shoes. This is my experience. Every guy that has worn them that's over 30 has been in trouble with the law. Any skate shoes. Cargo shorts below the knee. Bedazzled, here's another bedazzled. Bedazzled home detention bracelet.

I mean, that's very specific. Yeah. A guy in a pastel Ralph Lauren polo giving big mummy's boy energy there. Oh, yeah, Ralph Lauren polos. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Ralph Lauren polos. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we've moved on. Barker hats is getting another mention.

Three-quarter pants. Oakley sunglasses, the type that were popular in the late 90s, early 2000s. It's wraparounds. Yeah, talking some speed dealers there. They're good. They're bloody good. Aaron's got a pair he wears for when he's working outside, and honestly, yeah.

You like them. It's just funny. Tassels on a leather jacket. Oh, yeah, no, we're. Tassels on a leather jacket. Oh, yeah, no. We're not tassels on a leather jacket, are we? Singlets with jeans and jandals. If a girl is wearing any kind of horse jewellery, like a bridal bracelet or a stirrup necklace,

she's a mad woman. Stay away from her. Boys that wear balaclavas. They're criminals. They're criminals or people in very cold conditions. They're more, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah.

Guys that wear the day of the week underwear and have them on the incorrect day. Yes. Stop that. Stop that. Thursday, you fool. I'm yet to get my hands on a copy of this book, but today is the day I'm going to go and find it

because Brittany's book, The Woman and Me, long anticipated, has been delayed. It's out. Thank you. Oh, baby. She sounds like a sort of moaning child. Anyway, I love Brittany.

I have been waiting for this because she's been shrouded in this conservatorship for 13 years. She couldn't say anything, blah, blah, blah, and then it all went over and then she was going to tell her years. She couldn't say anything, blah, blah, blah. And then it all went over. And then she was going to tell her book. And she's explaining everything, like why she shaved her hair.

Yes. Speaking of hair, I said to my hairdresser and friend Shari, I was like, oh, my God, I'm worried that people are going to take advantage of her with this book. She's not going to get her word out. They're going to manipulate her. It's just going to be some, you know, factory thing. Shari messaged me yesterday.

She was like, it's incredible. People are calling it like an angry cautionary tale, pop's darkest tale, gloriously unfiltered and unfocused. And I've been reading little excerpts of it and it is. Like she has a strong, angry voice. It is amazing. Now, there are some revelations I'll give because they're

everywhere on the internet, but I think people should read it. I think this could be the biggest moment in literature of the year. Do you think it'll be the biggest book of the year? It's already the best. I think she said, Brittany, on her Instagram, it was the number one celebrity memoir already and it was day one. Wow. Okay. Yeah, because people were curious about her. Some of the revelations, like one of them we knew about the abortion that she had with Justin Timberlake, one of were curious about her. Some of the revelations, like one of them we knew about the abortion

that she had with Justin Timberlake. One of them was that her father didn't let her go to the hospital because she took the pill. It was early, so she could take one of those pills where you're allowed to get it early, basically, and have it in an easier way. But she was in so much pain, but her father didn't let her go to the hospital, so she had to just curl up on the floor and go through it.

Oh, my God. No painkillers. So the only thing Justin did was get next to her and start strumming a guitar and singing. Oh. Nobody asked for that.

Nobody asked for that. Hopefully he didn't sing to her Cry Me a River because that's about her but anyway. So that was horrible. A lot of things about her father

like she met this guy that she was dated for a while and he was really into fitness and he started giving her these like energy tablets because she was running low on energy during he was really into fitness and he started giving her these like energy tablets because she was running

low on energy during her Vegas residency. Over the counter energy like caffeine pills. Oh, okay. Her father found out she was on them and then forced her

to go to rehab. What? So when she went to rehab during her Vegas residency, it wasn't for any drugs. It was for no-dose. It was for literally like no-dose.

Yes. No-dose. So she went to rehab twice. The second time she went back is because her father went through a purse and found caffeine pills and was like, you're addicted. Sent her back.

She had no say over it whatsoever. I mean, we know he's a piece of work. Absolutely. I mean, she goes into the childhood side of things and it's terrible. She said she was sick of getting portrayed as an eternal virgin. So when Justin Timberlake came out and said that she'd cheated on him,

she was glad. She was upset about the breakup, devastated. She said she couldn't talk for two months. But she was glad that that image, she was like, I don't care if people thought that I cheated. At least it got rid of this virginal thing. And she was like, by the way, I lost my virginity when I was 14 to my older brother's best friend.

So she was just like, whatever. It wasn't that she was like a, she was just a normal teenage girl, right? Yeah. She just said that and she was tired of that. That's why she ended up shaving her head and doing all these like provocative things because she was like, F you, I'm not this thing. Shake the image. Shake the image.

She said she was really hurt when Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera did the Rolling Stone cover together because Christina Aguilera was her biggest rival. And she also had quite a lot to say about Justin. And one of them, I think we've got audio. It's quite funny. This is the audio book. Yeah.

It's read by five-time Academy Award nominee Michelle Williams. Yes, so good. You know from Brokeback Mountain, she was married to Heath Ledger. Yes. Fantastic. Oh, she's a great Heath Ledger. Yes. Fantastic. She's a great actress. She reads the audio book. This is an excerpt.

We are about to join Michelle as Brittany when they're talking about how they were walking around New York City and Justin Timberlake was really trying to relate to fellow black artists. Right. Maybe a little bit too hard. Walking our way was a guy with a huge blinged-out medallion. He was flanked by two giant security guards. Jay got all excited and said so loud, Oh, yeah.

Foshis, foshis. Genuine. What's up, homie? To genuine? Foshis, foshis. What up, homie? Genuine. Oh, my God.

Her voice is amazing. Yeah. Because, you know, I'm all about the audiobooks lately. Yeah. Just that's all I do now, the audiobooks. Yeah. So I think that'll be me. I'm so fascinated.

One of the things I love. This would be a book I'd want to be into. Apparently, it's just so straight up. You know, like, it's not this super poetic book. It's literally just like, here's not this super poetic book. It's literally just like, here's what happened. Here's how that made me feel.

Yeah. If you. Somebody has just messaged in a very good point. When you said Justin sat down beside her and strummed the guitar when she was going through this awful experience.

She said immediately it gave me Ken from the Barbie movie. Oh my God, yeah. I wanna push you around. Oh my God, yeah. I wanna push you around. Oh my God, she also talks about two more things. Okay.

Colin Farrell, she had a two week affair with him straight after. Colin Farrell's hot, man. He is hot. And she called it a brawl because she said we were literally, she said, what did she say? Brawl is the only word for it. We were all over each other grappling so passionately. It was like we were in a street fight.

It's the Irish. It's the Irish. Have you seen his sex tape? Oh my God. Good for you, Brittany. The second thing. Personality. The second thing.

It's not Northern Ireland. It's the Republic of Ireland. Did we talk about her audition for The Notebook, which the video's online, and I was like, oh, hon, like as if, it's such a bloody good audition. She's like dropping in, and apparently she was really into method acting. She said when she did Crossroads, which is a very poppy film,

she's like, I think I was method acting without knowing it. I didn't know how to break out of character. I really became the other person. Some people do it consciously, but I didn't method acting without knowing it. I didn't know how to break out of character. I really became the other person. Some people do it consciously, but I didn't have any separation at all. I ended up walking differently and all the co-stars must have thought I was so weird. So she took the acting really seriously.

It's a shame that she didn't get to do more of it. Well, it's out now and yeah, it's a wild ride. She's on a redemption arc. Do you know what? She's on a redemption arc. Do you know what? She's on a redemption arc. She just needs all this positivity to come her way. She needs a beautiful Christmas and then we need music. I'm demanding it.

We need music. I want a few more knife dancers. I'm loving the knife dancers. All of this, all that conservatorship sucked the entertainment out of her. Let's put it back. Yeah, because she has said that. Come on, Brack. No.

She doesn't want to do music. No, she doesn't want to do music. No, she doesn't want to do music. I know, but we want it. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, we've all got, like, a group chat, right? Like, no, I'm not saying, like, we've got a group chat. We do have a group chat.

But everybody's got our group chat where at some stage of the day, whatever you're on, the TikToks or the Reels pop off. It's where everybody gets into the zone when you're just on you hit a rich vein of like great content yeah and you're just like share share share share hitting the group you're like ha ha ha check this out boys memes most with you too yeah that would be you would be my most meme sharing also pull back on the um like the televangelical christian stuff For You page is starting to get a little overtaken with wild religious sermons.

What was the one I sent you the other day? He was healing something. It was his kid. Oh yeah, it was terrible. This guy went on stage at a church, his son had just been diagnosed with autism, so of course it's the devil's fault. Oh no. And then she's like, get the devil

and the autism out of you. And this guy's like rolling around. He's like flopping like a fish in a frying pan. Like that. It's so good. Yeah, but it ruins our algorithm. I'm sorry, I know. So I've got like a lads chat with some of my oldest friends.

And there'll be a time where we're all like. Wow, we're not in that chat. You guys are my newest friends, but I love you just as much. You would hate this chat. We talk a lot of nerdy stuff. Okay. I don't want to be in that chat. I'm happy to not be.

Weird sports stuff. So, and gaming. And there's a time where everybody seems to, I imagine that everybody's in bed. Okay. And it's because that's when I do my best reels. Yeah, same. And I'll scroll through and I'll be like good stuff

copy, paste check this out boys send, do that and often I'll just be laughing and Sade's like what are you doing and I'm like check this out and then she'll just see

that this conversation is nothing but links to funny videos or like weird videos or someone doing have you seen that one where those Russians try to jump a car

from one building to another and it just crashes down and then they you're like oh no one was in that car and then you hear this guy go Have you seen that one where those Russians try to jump a car from one building to another and it just crashes down? No. And then they hit like good stuff. You're like, oh, no one was in that car. And then you hear this guy go, are you all right? Wow, that's been sent a lot.

And I'm always laughing and I'm like, check this out. And so I think Sade got jealous because look. This is our Instagram chat now. She's sharing reels. Oh, yeah, she is. Lots of parenting things. Yep. Like putting your kids to bed at night.

This is what it's like having siblings because our daughters will literally do this with pouring glasses of milk. They'll like get down on an eye level to make sure they're even. Did you guys ever measure a chocolate bar with your sibling to make sure you got the exact... You're more than me. Not fair.

Then she sent me this one of a rugby player who had broke his leg Who was having a toot on the bank Oh my god But she started sending me heaps of reels And I think it's because she's jealous Of the LOLs I'm getting from the boys chat Yeah

I think she's jealous Aren't you right next to her in bed? Yeah Yeah I know but it's not the same She also gets annoyed when I'm like watch this one And I'll just reach my phone across into her face. I'm like, ah, ah, you're not looking, you're not looking. Same, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.

So I send it to her so she can watch it in her own time. Right, okay. She sent me one this morning, which is when you call your spouse by their real name, because that's the thing, we never use each other's real names, unless it's like urgent or we're angry with each other. You didn't do that.

This is classic. Shakira at 46. J-Lo at 54 doing a dance. Me at 39. Benny down. Saw back. I had a saw back

yesterday. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. But I think she's jealous. Right. I think she's jealous of the boys chat because

the boys chat pops off and all the reels are like no one sends a bad reel because if you send a bad reel you get roasted. If you send a reel someone's already sent.

Oh you haven't been paying attention. I already sent that. Yeah. And it send a reel, someone's already sent. Oh, you haven't been paying attention? I already sent that. Yeah. And it is a great feeling when someone sends one, you're like, yeah, I saw that the other day. But you didn't share it with the group, did you? You gotta, if it's that good, share it with the group. Do you think she's getting as many laughs as the lads

chant? I think it annoys her that I am not laughing as much. Yeah. So she's, what, trying harder? Sometimes she sends real old ones, and I'm just like, thumbs up. Oh, you don't thumbs up, that's me. She's just trying, guys. She's trying. She's just learning.

I sent her one last time. She's just learning. I think I sent it to you as well. Look, our chat, if I'm just looking at Vaughn, because for some reason I can't do a group one on Instagram, eh? Yeah. I can't figure out how to send it to you both. Whenever I choose one, it says send separately.

Mum, you just go like compose new and you go create new groups. Oh no, you can select the two people you want to create a chat with. No, but when you see a reel and you share it from the reel, it's harder. But ours is literally just reels.

Yeah. One of the last ones being butter chicken dumplings and I sent that to you both. Yeah. Delicious. Good from you. I've just created a group.

Now I'm going to have to find the perfect reel to start our group with. Okay, great. I love this one. group. Now I'm going to have to find the perfect reel to start our group with. Okay, great. I love this one. Fight humour. Go hard or go home. And then it's

homeless kids with erectile dysfunction and someone being like, oh no. Homeless kids with erectile dysfunction. Because they can't go hard or go home.

That's good stuff. Okay. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Today's fact of the day is about the thong Yeah

Can we please have Cisco's thong song in the background? Absolutely Vaughan, give me one That would be lovely, thank you very much He just loves to surf He'll dress about Thong for thong thong. Can we please have Cisco's thong song in the background? Absolutely, Vaughan. Give me one. That would be lovely. Thank you very much. God, he's good, eh? He just loves to search. He'll just about and get the thong. Search thong.

Oh my God, this is the thong for thong thong thong. God, I love a bit of violin in my thong songs. Thong comes from words meaning restraint oh according to the Oxford English Dictionary probably why we

why Australia's called jandals thongs yeah because it restrained the dolls it was originally a narrow strip of

leather used to secure something down like the testicles in the case of secure it down you gotta keep it down you gotta

thong underwear not much restraint is required so there you go I actually googled why it's called a G-string because I didn't even think about it. A thong, I'm just like, of course, that's what it is called. But why do we call it a G-string?

Because of the guitars. Yeah. It's the thickest string. The thickest string on a violin or a guitar is the G-string. I had no idea. The bottom one that goes boom. That's G. Is it?

So yeah, apparently it's the thickest string is somewhat resemblant to what made up the underpants. The thicker string up your crotch. I mean, there's two facts for you already. Holy shibolies. Is there another one? And Cisco. You betcha. However fact of the day today.

1939. The mayor of New York City, Forello La Guardia, that the airport is named after. Oh yeah. Is about to host the World Fair. Bold of America during a world war to host a World Fair. Crazy, actually. Yeah, they're like, that's probably not going to bother us too much. Yeah.

Meanwhile, there is a crosshair on Pearl Harbor in a couple of years, but they host the World Fair in New York. Now, he said, the naked dancers are too naked. Oh. We don't want their fannies being shown to the world. Except the fanny in New York is the bottom, isn't it? I thought you meant, yes. That too, though.

Both the front and the back fanny. Yes. You can't have those out at a World Fair. You can't have those out during a time of a World Fair. So he said, nude dancing is out. Right. No one's allowed to get fully naked.

And they said, well, what is the closest thing to naked but still clothed? It's the thong. Hit it, Cisco. That's so scandalous.

That's so scandalous. So then... So a tiny bit of material... Tiny bit of material to cover it up. Was a loophole there. The tiny bit of material was the loophole. And so only exotic dancers wore it. Right.

During the World Fair. And then kept doing it from there on afterwards. But the thong, the G-string, was only really used by exotic dancers. Oh, for entertainment. Yeah, in 1974, it made its official debut in the form of a thong swimsuit. Right. So, like, the ones that you

see now at the beach, I don't see them because I'm not looking. Of course you don't. You've only got eyes for your wife. Yeah, you kind of have blinkers on at the beach. I'm there for water and sand. And recreation. I'm not there to see 98% of someone's bottom. It is funny when you see thong togs at the beach show,

you're like, that's your whole anus, man. That's your whole butt. One rogue wave, see you later pants. Yeah. See you later pants. So they started out as a swimsuit. And then that combined with the remnants of the 1939 World Fair, you can't show the front or the back, carried over and they became popular.

And the 1990s was when they became very, very popular. And the whale's tail. Because VPL went out the window. We don't want to see the visible panty line. Marketed widely as a practical undergarment to pair with slim fit jeans to avoid visible pant VPL? Yeah. Because VPL went out the window. We don't want to see the visible panty line. Marketed widely as a practical undergarment to pair with slim fit jeans to avoid visible panty line. Yeah. Victoria's Secret held its first public runway show in 1995,

led by models Stephanie Seymour and Rebecca Hormin, igniting a consumer thong frenzy. Yeah. Thong frenzy. We were big in the 90s. In 2002, 120 million pairs of thongs were sold in the US alone. That is a 200% increase in domestic units sold from 1998. And what year did the thong song come out?

99? Well, no, it was generally a question. I wasn't going to hit you with an actual answer. It does have a big 99 energy to it. Yeah, it does. 1999, yes, from the album Unleash the Dragon. Thank you. Thank you.

So when they reached extreme popularity, they were accompanied by this song by Sisqó. And now we're on the nana panties, aren't we? Well, I like nana panties during the day, but I like a thong at the gym. Because of the tights. Yeah. Do a lot of work as well.

And that was the original purpose of them as well for the general public consumption. Are you going to do nannapanties? Because that's my passion in life. Well, tomorrow is the last day of lingerie. I want the belly button and the butt covered. I've never considered granny panties to be in the lingerie family of underpants. You should do a granny. I've got lacy granny panties sometimes for my more formal occasions.

Okay, what's the last fact tomorrow for lingerie week? Yeah, maybe it can be... I'll see what... Because I still had that... Nana undies. I still had that fact about the underpants with no crotch. Oh, yeah, that's quite an interesting one. It is.

Okay, well... Join us tomorrow to see what happens. Maybe a myriad of facts tomorrow. Just a boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,. It is. Okay, well. Well, join us tomorrow to see what happens. Maybe a myriad of facts tomorrow. Just a boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Shotgun facts about lingerie. Well, today's fact of the day is in 1939, ahead of the New York-based World Fair, the mayor said,

I'm sorry, you can't be nude dancing on stage anymore. And that's when ladies started wearing the thong. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Not always perfect when you're moving in with a partner, is it? Sometimes you get a compromise on thing. Who's got the better couch? Who's got the better bed? Aaron had a Japanese futon, so I won. So hard.

That's embarrassing. It was so hard. Good for a bad back, not good for a shag-a-romp-romp. Let me tell you that. With bruised elbows and all sorts. Yeah, the hip bones. And I was bloody skinny back then as well. I was bony.

Ow, ow! Yeah, towel bones. And I was bloody skinny back then as well. I was bony. Ow, ow. Yeah, yeah. So we got on the squishy secondhand Salvation Army mattress instead for a few years. Poor boy. Anyway, there was a woman who, she bought a dog. Her partner had a cat. Yeah. They moved in together.

The dog was a pup. Everything was fine, right? They were kind of getting to know each other. The cat and the dog were getting on well enough. Now, as the dog started to get a bit bigger, the dog started attacking the cat, chasing after it, torturing it, ruining its life. Now, the boy, he said, I love this cat so much,

the dog's got to go. And the girl's like, don't be stupid. I just bought this dog. It's a gorgeous dog. And he said, well, I'll leave then. Unless the dog goes. Me or the dog. The ultimate ultimatum.

In my head I'm saying, piss off. Yeah, in an early stage of a relationship, if someone's pulling ultimatums, it's not a great sign for future things. Yeah, totally. But to be fair, she'd only just got the dog, so the dog could go. I wonder this, though, if I was ever to – yeah, the dog is new. If I was ever to get into a new relationship and I had Rolly and they were like allergic, I would not get rid of my cat.

You'd just be like, see you later then. Imagine if I fell in love with someone. They wouldn't have to take histamines for that long. That cat's on its last legs, isn't it? He's eight years old, you prick. Oh, my God, I hate you. He looks so much older. Can you touch wood, please?

Don't curse my cat. Is that wood? That's formica. Wow. Underneaths wood. Please, don't curse my cat. Is that wood? That's formica. Underneath wood. We actually just got the, we got told by our vet recently that he's extremely healthy. Thank you. You didn't get a lecture about him being fat.

He's fat, but he's healthy. Healthy fat. Healthy. Healthy. But no, I wouldn't give up my cat for anyone. I'd be the same. If someone was like, I'm allergic to Major Murray Fluff anyone. I'd be the same. I'd be the same. If someone was like, I'm allergic to Major Murray Fluffington, I'd be like, see you later.

Oh, okay. Well, you're welcome to sneeze in my house. Have you ever seen anybody long enough that it even got to that point of the conversation? No, no, no. It wasn't even long enough for this fur to get in the nose. Yeah, yeah. It's causing me barely in an hour, mate. Barely in an hour.

Yeah. But I want to know, like, if you were ever given an ultimatum like this before. Because I... A relationship ultimatum. What about, like, quit smoking or quit something or else it's over? Mm-hmm. That would happen a bit, right? Yeah, definitely.

Like, so I'm sick of you vaping or smoking or eating this or being this way. It's the ciggies or me. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe it's like you've got one of those boyfriends that's really into, like, tinkering on their motorcycle. And the motorcycle maybe it's like you've got one of those boyfriends that's really into like tinkering on their motorcycle

and the motorcycle is really dangerous and you're like, what? I'm not going to invest in a relationship with you if you're just going to come off your bike

and be a bloody... Oh, I reckon that would be... I think that is especially the minute you have kids, if somebody's like, that motorbike's going to be just put in the garage

for 18 years until the kids are done. I actually don't think that that's an unreasonable ask. I know. I reckon that would not be uncommon, a motorcycle ultimatum. Yeah, or maybe you've just got a hobby that takes you away all the time. Or maybe you had a job. Like, I was listening to a podcast about someone who goes off on boats

for, like, six months at a time. And as you say, you're a mum at home. You'd be like, get a new job, hon. Yeah, but they make a lot of money on those boats. I know they do. So then you're just like well, weigh that up. Alright, well we'd love to take your calls. 0800 DALZM, text through 9696 We've already got one in about

someone with a dog as well. Because their dog had a dribbling problem. It's gross when they dribble too much. Yeah, give us a call. 0800 DALZM or text 9696. Were you given a relationship ultimatum? We're talking about the relationship ultimatums that you've been faced with.

Maybe you were given one. And what did you choose? We want to know. This is off the back of a choice between a dog or relationship. Yeah, the boy had a cat, the girl had a dog. The boy said, get rid of the dog or I'll leave. Me and my cat. My partner's mum got an ultimatum.

Her dog slept in the bed and her husband had enough because they smelt. And the dog hair got all through the bed. So he said, it's me or the dogs. He meant in the bed at night. She took it as the whole relationship. So she took her dogs and left. Dogs don't belong in a bed.

Not in a bed. Just do separate beds. Don't loads of couples do that? Separate beds and just never ever have sex again. Why not? Why not? My fiance at the time gave me the ultimatum, either him or the dog,

because the dog had the dribbling problem. Oh, yes, yes. I loved him, and I didn't care about his dribbling. Loved him, the dog, not my fiancé. I looked at the dog and I said, oh, well, I guess we're going to have to get rid of him. My fiancé did not find this funny and actually left me. And now my dog and I are living our best single life.

Yes. Keep your texts coming in. 9696. Your relationship ultimatums. You can call as well. 0800 DALES. And then we'll get to more of those next. Someone said, didn't Avril Lavigne write a song about this? He had a cat, she had a dog. Can I make it any more obvious? That was a lyric.

That's right. That's how it went. We're talking about ultimatums put forth to you whilst in a relationship. And here's some text messages. And I complained daily about my job. He would get so frustrated and tell me daily just to quit. He got to his wits end and he said, look, it's me or the job.

I left him and ended up sticking it out and getting a promotion. What? Wow. I didn't see that coming. I didn't see that coming either. I thought you were going to quit the job and it was the enlightenment that you had required. That's also just the job of the partner

is to listen to the constant whinging about their job, right? Yeah, I mean, that would be annoying after a while. But you have to help them facilitate leaving the job. It's not that simple. They're not whinging about you or at you. They're just whinging. Then you whinge back. Amy, what was

the ultimatum? So my husband told me that I needed to either have another baby, which would have been number five for our family. Jesus Christ! Why not, sir? Or run the Hawke's Bay half marathon.

So I'm a short-term pain kind of girl, so I'm like, I'm running. Did you run it? Did you do it? Did you do the half? I did do the half, yep. Hell yeah. Are men allowed to lay those automatons on women in 2023?

I don't know if they are. Yeah, so no, it was worth two hours and four minutes of pain instead of nine months of pregnancy and 18 years of whinging extra kids. Yeah, Thank God. I'd run three back-to-back marathons untrained to not have a child. When you go from two kids to three kids, you almost got to get a new car. And then when you go from four to five, what are you driving now?

A Kia Sportage? We already have a seven-seat Tiguan Allspace. Oh, my goodness. It must be nice. Yeah, right. It's for four kids, so yeah, definitely not keen on five kids. Oh, my gosh. Why did he put that ultimatum forward?

He just loves kids, and he, to be fair, dads don't do most of the parenting, so I can see why he felt like it would be nice and easy. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. Wow. Incredible. Amy. He still besties me now, but you know,

no more marathons. You should snip his willy off. Does he run a marathon? Yeah. What's going on? He's got his pants. Some more messages in. About your ultimatums put forward.

Ours is Crocs. My husband knows that if he bought them, we would be signing divorce papers. I don't care how comfortable they are, how practical they are, how many doctors wear them. I still want to be physically attracted to you.

Coming from a guy who was a Crocs hater for many years. Yep. Even took big Crocs money. Remember we got flowing to him. I took big Crocs money.

We got flowing to Rotorua and I was still bashing the Crocs. Then I go, pair of Crocs. Tell you what, they're a great short term footwear. Yeah. Not you and me. Chuck them on, go out to the garage. Chuck them on, go out to the washingcs. Tell you what, they're a great short-term footwear.

Chuck them on, go out to the garage. Chuck them on, go out to the washing line. Chuck them on, out to the thing. I wore them in public the other day. Oh, you've got no shame. But I've lost my Pikachu jibbit. Oh, no. You had a Pikachu jibbit. I've got a spare hole.

I've got a spare hole for the ZM jibbit. Because it's unbalanced at the moment. I don't know what happened to the Pikachu one. Or you get a couple of ZM? I've got a spare hole for the ZM jibbit. Because it's unbalanced at the moment. I don't know what happened to the picture. Well you get a

couple of the ZM jibbits. Yeah. What do we do with our ZM jibbits? Just melt them down.

Get some crocs. Or maybe just leave them for people who want them then. Don't waste them. Nah.

I'm trying to prevent people. I know we should be promoting this awesome thing. Push them in a hole of

one of your shoes. Yeah. Do that. And put them in Doc promoting this awesome thing. Could you just push them in a hole of one of your shoes? Yeah. Do that. And put them in Doc Martens or something. Yeah. My now wife said she would not move in with me unless I had a king-size bed and a new leather lounge suite.

New leather lounge suite? That was her ultimatum. It was all worth it. We've been married for 18 years now. Demanding, no? King bed, yes. Yeah, he's whipped, eh? You are whipped.

Yeah. Let us know if your wife lets you text the show again. It'd beanding. Yeah, he's whipped, eh? You are whipped. Let us know if your wife lets you text the show again. It'd be great. Yeah. Banned now. My dad told my mum if she gave up smoking, he'd build her a new house. Well, that's a good ultimate. I've hurt myself. I thought you'd broken your neck because I couldn't hear it, but I heard the noise. I couldn't see you, but I heard the noise and it

sounded like a broken... Oh, I've broken my neck. She got the new house but would have sneaky cigarettes all the time. Oh, that's naughty. Dad was happy, though, because she wasn't smoking around him and made a real effort to not smell of smoke. Cunning old bugger. Cunning old bugger. I told my boyfriend at 14 he had to quit smoking.

14. You know, it was hard out there on the playground. Oh, yeah. Bloody hell. You know, Steve's doing a stint in duty for being a ram raid. You've just got to smoke these ciggies. I never wanted a day to smoke, and we broke up over it. Now here we are at 34, back together eight years later,

and he still smokes a pack a day. Oh. He won. Vintage. He won. Are you happy with losing your husband? All I'm saying is you lost. Vintage. He won. Are you happy with losing your husband? All I'm saying, all I'm saying is you lost. Yeah.

You did lose. Are you happy with that? Because you lost. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy.

I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.