ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th of February, 2025

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

New citizen arrest rules Top 6 reasons a dead seat mate is worse than a real one App to tell you the sun is setting SLP - Do you eat the end of a tomato? Dating tip about glitter Hayley's officially done with the Kardashians How to tell if your man is using onlyfans Fletch Cinnabon hot cross buns Who is the hottest board game character? Hayley's surgery update Shannons hack redacted Fact of the Day What big move did you make with your partner early on?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Fleshborn and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley.

Thanks Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleshborn and Hayley. Thanks Bryn, good morning, welcome to the show, Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley. Hayley's back this morning. I am. Bit stingy. Standing, standing today. She's standing today, not too much sitting allowed. Had a little operation on your vajayjay feeny. On my vajayjay feeny. Yep. Yeah, my vajayjay feeny stings a little bit, but she's full of scandal. I say, what a way to start the day. That's really tickled Vaughn, hasn't it? Yeah. You've tickled my vajayjay fanny.

I got the appropriate amount of attention as well when I posted my hospital gown. You know what I mean? Yeah, I love that. Don't want people to worry. I've just got a lot going on at the moment. Don't want to talk about it. Did anyone not get the joke?

Quite a few people were like, oh my God, are you okay? I was like, absolutely fine. People are well trained when they see these photos. I just want to talk about it. Got a lot on at the moment. Just got some stuff going on in my life, guys.

Thoughts and prayers. Secret Sound is back. Thanks to Super Liquor. Coming up at seven o'clock and eight during our show, The Next Chance Is, $20,000 cash is the jackpot. Just got to guess the sound, win the cash.

The top six, not too far away. Yeah, an Australian couple were like, oh no, a dead person sat beside us on a plane. Everyone's like, what? I mean, they didn't choose to. No. They died on the way back to the toilet and apparently they were plomped in this chair beside

this couple. Must have been a full flight then. Full flight and also the one empty seat. Because I don't think the person that died originally was in that seat. Oh. They got moved there. And then they tried to move them and they were just too heavy. Plomp. I will confirm.

But the top six is coming up. The top six reasons a dead seatmate is better than an alive one. Sometimes, eh? Alive people sitting next to you are a real baller. Yeah. So we'll deal with that soon. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Remember when you were a kid and you would

just be ready to make a citizen's arrest? Yeah. Because you thought it was really common? Yeah, because you'd see it on the odd American movie. Yeah. Yeah, well you've never really been able to, because you'd see it on like the odd American movie. Yeah. Yeah, well. You've never really been able to, right? Because if you hold someone against their will without.

It's kidnapping. It's kidnapping. And then there are certain, because do you remember, it kind of has been in the news in the last few years because shoplifting's been so rife, that it's only between a certain amount of hours and it's got to be over a certain amount of money, the goods. Yeah, something like that. Yes.

Currently, citizens' arrests can only be made at night and for crimes with the punishment of at least three years in prison or stolen goods must be worth at least $1,000. Yeah, there you go. So if somebody's taken some steaks out of the supermarket... You've just got to let it go. You can't do anything about it. Can you ankle tap them?

To me, ankle tap... No, because that would be assault if they fell on their face. Of course. But just run behind them and then ankle tap them with your ankle and be like, I don't know, I just caught up to them. It, ankle tap. No, because that would be assault if they fell on their face. Of course. Just run behind them and then ankle tap them with your ankle and be like, I don't know, I just caught up to them too quick. It was a mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest, I'd rather be arrested than ankle tapped.

Nothing worse than all of a sudden you're like, why am I not balanced anymore? Oh my God, I'm falling. New Zealand government's going to announce changes to the citizens' arrest powers to help combat rising retail theft. I thought they'd taken care of this, by the way. I thought the government was going to make 10,000 more police officers. They were going to be hard on crime.

No one was going to be in a gang, and this was going to be sorted. The mouthpiece of the left is coming out. Oh, no. I thought it was. I know. To be honest, the woke brigade. Right in the middle here, I thought it was all the left wing's fault. Right.

I thought it was the left wing's fault. It was going to be sorted, but I don't know. So that will make it easier. Are we still ram raiding? I haven't heard of any. Got a bit quiet on that. Quiet. Was that a bash?

If somebody murdered someone and it was like 11am that's more than three years in prison. That's an ankle tap. No but it's not past the time. No that's why.

You're not allowed to citizens arrest or you're allowed to ankle tap. As long as you don't make it too obvious. But if they had done it at midnight, I could citizen's arrest them for murder.

But not during the day? If they've murdered someone, I think it's a bit of a different rule. I also think if you've seen someone murder someone else, I reckon don't run towards the murderer. But I'm an MMA fighter. Are you? Yeah, I am. You take fighter. I'm an MMA fighter. Are you?

Yeah, I am. You take him down with an armbar. I've never really seen you throw a punch. Oh, he's good with his elbows. Yeah. You've got to thump them. So new changes apparently will remove time, value, and age restriction for making a citizen's arrest.

So we can do it willy-nilly. Willy-nilly. And allowing greater flexibility for detaining these offenders. Wow. Retail staff and the public will be encouraged to prioritize safety over detaining thieves and to contact the police in such incidents. Yeah, because this is going to end up with security people getting knifed and vigilantes getting knifed. It's an escalation of sorts.

Yeah. We can't take the law into our own hands. I don't know if I'd be bothering over somebody stealing a box of beers or a pack of nuts. I just would go back to the ankle tap if I saw someone stealing. It might lead to also like vigilante, you know, masked heroes like Batman, except our bats are like lame and little, so it's not going to be like big and scary. It's going to be crawling around on the ground in a more pork skinny.

What about Ketadu Kid? You know what I mean? Big, big. Fat. Fat. Drunk on berries. Which is probably. A beautiful tail and mean? Big, big, fat. Drunk on berries. Which is probably... A beautiful tail and white. Gorgeous.

White breasts. You know what I mean? A bit more dominating than a bat. A New Zealand bat. Yeah. We don't have any superheroes in New Zealand. We did have a New Zealand superhero. Who? They were... The brown wiggle. Robbie Ruff were... The Brown Wiggle. Yes.

Robbie Ruffese. The Brown Wiggle. The Brown Wiggle. That's how super heroes are. Terrible secret identity. We worked out it was him straight away. It was really obvious he was the only brown one. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley.

From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. A Melbourne couple who say they had to sit next to a dead passenger on a Qatar Airways flight have shared their traumatic experience with a current affair in Australia. Wow.

The woman collapsed in the aisle beside them during a flight from Melbourne to Doha. The staff were there in no time and I pat them on the back. They did a wonderful job trying to revive her but they failed. Oh dear. And they then attempted to place the deceased woman in a wheelchair and move her to business class but were unable to.

They looked a bit frustrated. They looked at me, saw seats available beside me. My wife was on the other side. We're in a row of four by ourselves and they said, can you move over please? And I just said, yeah, no problem. And then they placed the lady in the chair that I was in and then that's where she sat and then they placed the lady in the chair that I was in and then that's where she sat

so they would have been in the middle seat of a block of four yeah and they're shuffled to the outside and the dead person's

on the no they were on the side oh there was four yeah so they must have shuffled across yep

and so they put them okay so there's one seat between them and a dead person yeah that's grim that's a long flight too Doha yeah but would you rather I don't know how far would you be able to enter the flight they died though So there's one seat between them and a dead person. That's grim.

That's a long flight too, Doha. Yeah, but would you rather... I don't know how far into the flight they died, though. Would you rather be diverted? No, I want to get to Doha. I'd rather get to where I'm going. Because chances are I'm going Doha to Europe. So they were four hours away from Doha. They said they're sending you to the dead body for four hours.

Well, what are you going to do? Land in... They put blankets over her. Yeah, Iran. The ocean. Yeah. They put blankets over her. They put blankets over her. Is it true some of the bigger planes like the A380 has a morgue?

Yeah, and it's got a fridge. A fridge. Because I know someone who's sat next to a dead body and they just shroud them in a blanket. But you still know. It would be very scary. I have to peek. Producer Shannon was saying that some cruise ships have morgues

because your boyfriend, the magician, works on a lot of cruise ships. Yeah, but if it's a smaller cruise ship and they don't have a morgue and there's a spontaneous ice cream party, it means someone's died. Yeah, they're making room in the freezer. What? They just give out all the ice cream? Crazy, eh? Yeah, they say like, oh, sad.

But they say that one person dies at least every cruise. Well, because the average age of cruise goers is much older, isn't it? Because you get on the boat and you're done, you're there. Yeah. No ice cream parties when I was on it, probably. That's a grim statistic. Well, I've got the top six reasons a dead seatmate is better than an alive one. Number six on the list, they won't hog the window view

yeah that's right they won't be like taking up the whole thing with their camera to get the best thing and then not let you have a little peek out the window yeah

also if you are in the window I hate it when people like lean over to have a look this is my space yeah kind of a look I've nabbed this window no but if it's a beautiful incredible view

no but it's my privilege to be in A and or S but don't block it you lean back so I can have a little peek. Let me have a peek. Don't look over me. You're a stranger. Number five in the list of the

top six reasons a dead seatmate is better than a live one. No luggage in the overhead. Yeah, extra space. No, they've still got luggage. It's probably back. They chuck it out the window. They don't need it anymore. Get rid. Yeah, get rid. She won't be needing this. Put it in the evacuation. Probably just put it in the window. They don't need it anymore. Get rid. Yeah, get rid. She won't be needing this. Put it in the evacuation. Probably just put it in the toilet. You flush it.

Why didn't they leave this dead person in one of the toilets and just shut the toilet for the rest of the flight? Or the seat that they came from. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe they were in a middle seat where they were in a row of three. Yeah. Well, that's inconvenient, actually,

because number four on the list of the top six reasons a dead seatmate is better than an alive one is they won't crawl over you to go to the toilet during the sleep part of the flight. Yeah. Yeah, that's the part. Yeah, they're not moving. They're just there.

Excuse me. Sorry to wake you up. Sorry. I can't get over you. Sorry, sorry. Number three on the list of the top six reasons a dead seatmate is better than an alive one aren't sweaty, aren't hot and clammy,

and aren't rubbing their arm against yours. Might be smelly, though. I was going to say, how long does it take to get a waft going? Four hours? A dead waft. What, do they have four hours on this flight? Is that enough to start ponging? Because some people shit themselves when they die. Well, yeah, there's the release. But they were already in the

aisle, so I wonder if they'd just been to the toilet for a release. Oh, yeah, time they died post-release. To empty out before they cark it. Quite thoughtful. Really thoughtful. Number two on the list of the top six reasons a dead seat mate is better than a live one. Won't get drunk and loud

and always be buzzing the air stewards for more booze. Okay, well, it's free. What am I going to do? Sit there and not use it? Not use the feature? It's a problem. Especially on the Qatar Airways, which is not a big drinking culture.

No. God, I got some looks. Last time I flew them. Yeah. Can I have another one? Another one? Another one? Another one.

Wow. And number one on the list of the top six reasons a dead seat made is better than a live one. They won't be watching your movie over your shoulder, so you can watch rude ones with boobies and gun violence. Oh, yeah. Well, again, not on Qatar. They'll cut that out.

Oh, yeah, they don't want the boobies. Well, no, on your own iPad. Oh, right, yeah. Will they tell you off on your own device? You'll probably get arrested when you land in. For boobies. For boobies, yeah. Oh, you're the very anti-boobie.

Anti-boobies. I, for one, pro-boobie. That is today's substance. Play. ZM. Fletchvorn and Hayley. I, for one, pro-boobie. That is today's substance. Generation Z producer Shannon told us about this app. And my immediate thought, I will say, Shannon, is that I thought it sounded lazy and that it was like it's an alternative to nature. Yeah, that's just how you sum up my generation.

Yeah, kind of. Lazy and an alternative to nature. So it's called Naturebacks. It's an app that you can download and it gives you an alert based on your location when a sunset is happening. It's like, hey, sunset's happening. Get out there, kid. Yeah, like you couldn't just

look outside and see the sun and think, oh, that's... Or you couldn't have already been outside. Yeah. Yeah. That looks like it's going down and it's that time of the day. To get a pretty sunset. But... So this is what I thought originally. And then I've looked into it and I was like, it actually sounds kind of cool. Okay.

So it's, yeah, you call Nature back and it gives you a little ding and you've got to go and it'll go outside and then it has an in-app camera that you would like turn on, take a photo of the sunset and upload it. And then it's got in-app camera that you would like turn on, take a photo of the sunset and upload it. And then it's got streaks, so it's got a little calendar and it would upload your little thumbnail of that day's sunset to the calendar.

What if it's rainy? Yeah, that's not going to work in this country. I know. I was like, we're cloudy like every second day. All the time. We get half sunsets and winter's coming. Yeah. I don't know, but I guess it would say when the sun would be setting,

you'd go outside and you wouldn't have a nice picture. But if you want to keep your streak, you just take a photo of the clouds. Clouds or the rain or something like that. And then you upload it to your calendar, and that's sort of how you get your streaks going. But then the intention of the app is so that one million people, it's new, one million people would all be watching the same sunset on the same day.

Sort of a connection of sorts. A connection from sort of around the world. But then they'd all be seeing the sunset at a different time. Yeah, exactly. But it would be the same sun going down. Right. Because, you know, you can see the sunset twice in Dubai. Can you?

Yep. You watch it from the base of the Burj Khalifa and then catch the elevator up and you can watch it again. Oh, my God, of course, because you're going right it from the base of the Burj Khalifa and then catch the elevator up and you can watch it again. Oh my God, of course because you're going right up. It's actually the Wiz Khalifa. It's Wiz Khalifa.

I do apologise. The Wiz Khalifa, black and yellow, black and yellow. Yeah, I don't know. It's Wiz. It's Burj's middle name. Yeah, right.

Oh, Wiz Burj Khalifa. We've been up there. It's insanely tall. Yeah, it's nuts. Oh my God, it just gave me a chill down my spine. Yeah, it's almost

curvature of the Earth sort of height of things. The Earth's flat, but that's okay. Like looking down on skyscrapers. It's insanely tall. Yeah, it's nuts. Oh my God, it just gave me a chill down my spine. Yeah, it's almost curvature of the earth sort of height of things. The earth's flat, but that's okay. Like looking down on skyscrapers. It's insane. Oh, yeah. Like the skyscrapers are little dots. I couldn't do the lift. Have you got stairs?

It's like eight sky towers. How long have you got? If you took the stairs, you wouldn't get the second sunset. The idea is the lift moves so quick and you get to such an elevated spot, you can see the sun go down again. So the lift is fast. Oh, no. Yeah.

I mean, your ears definitely pop. I've been to, it's in Dubai, eh? I've been to Dubai, but I've never been up there. It's insane. You have to. So how would you work the app on that? You'd have two photos of one day. I think it must be from ground level.

Yeah. It's got to be from ground level. Yeah. Or just go outside every day be from ground level. Yeah. It's got to be from ground level. Yeah. Or just go outside every day before the sun sets. Yeah, like, I just think it's funny that this idea

that you'll be on your phone, they know that Gen Z will be on their phone and be like, bing, sunset. They're not just Gen Z, everyone, basically. Everybody.

Not me. I'm barely ever on my phone. Actually, I've got my screen time thing. Oh, yeah. Six hours. Yeah. That's not good, eh? That's a lot, eh? That's a lot. But that's not good eh that's a lot eh

that's a lot but that's also including music playing eh well speaking no it's not because I'm always on the iHeartRadio app all the time

yeah but you put your phone down good KPI there listen to the podcast on demand there on the iHeartRadio app or you can listen live you can listen live wherever you are

take us with you wherever you are but if you can't find us you need to delete the app and re-download it. Don't ask me why. Just do it. Oh yeah, we've been told. Yeah, just do that. Speaking of sun as well, April 6th. Sunday,

April 6th. Daylight savings. That will be where the April sun takes us to Cuba, will it? No. No. That's just... Because it is getting darker, isn't it? It's getting darker because we were just... I talk about sunrise and I said it's at 7.03, which is... that's. We're starting to lose the early morning light too.

How many weeks is April 6? Five? Six. Well, it's like a month away basically. A month and a half. Oh my goodness. Well, you put that phone down and get out and enjoy those long nights. Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley's silly little pose's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley silly little pole silly little pole it is so silly silly silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole silly little pole

silly little pole silly little pole Today's silly little pole is do you eat the end of the tomato? Because the Julie online, I believe we're pronouncing it softly now, the G. Yeah, Julie. Julie online was having a bitch and a whinge about a takeaway burger from like a fish and chip shop.

And she opened it up and they'd given her the end of the tomato and she was aggrieved. Oh, no, see, you can eat the end of the tomato at home in a salad maybe, but it shouldn't be on a burger. No. If I'm buying a burger from a burger bar or a fish and chip shop, like if I get a fish burger,

all I'm really paying for is the fish and the bun because I'm adding so much to it when I get it home. Nah. I can't be bothered. I add pickles, I add more cheese, I add tomato, I chuck some lettuce on there. Why not make your own burger? Because you're getting fish chips anyway.

Okay. There's too much resistance on the end of the tomato. So if you're eating it in a burger, the skin, it's just too much. I never eat the ends. But you know, I don't even eat the ends of apples or anything. I'm very wasteful. I eat the whole apple. Pips and everything.

Yeah, that's why you've got trees growing in you. When we are cyanided, someone's going to cyanide us, I'm going to have developed a resistance and I will survive. Okay. Just the apples.

You eat everything, Fletch. No, I don't normally eat the core. I can't eat the core. Yeah, you can't eat the core. Well, my mum always said it was the treat for the person

that was cutting the tomato. They got to eat the end. Dumb treat. Lame treat. You guys had lame treats growing up. Yeah, we had like lollies and stuff.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like cool things, cool treats. Ha ha. Your treat was the lame treats growing up. Yeah, we had like lollies and stuff. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like cool things, cool treats. Ha ha. Your treat was the end of a tomato. Yeah.

Ha ha. Pavo. I'm just more humble, I guess. Do you wear the end of the tomato? 30% of people said yes. 70% said ooh no.

Ooh no. Okay. Not I've got one card left as in like ooh yeah. Yeah. Marzi said yes, but not when slicing tomatoes, only when cutting it in chunks. I've just realized how much this makes no sense, even though I'm doing it.

Or dicing it. So they dice a tomato, they'll leave the ends in, but if they're slicing a tomato, they discard the ends. Interesting. Lisa said, I chop around the center bit, but hell no, I don't eat the middle. She doesn't even eat the middle of the tomato. The tomato's not an apple. It doesn't have a core.

It's all seeds in there. It's not like a pineapple. It's not like a hard pineapple core. It's just the nipples. But sometimes in salads, like a Greek salad, you will remove some of the moosh and keep the firm bit. A lot of chefs do this. I know this.

A lot of chefs. Do you? You know a lot of chefs, do you? I know a lot of chefs. Frequenting chef parties, are we? Yeah. I'm one of them, kind of. Are you?

Yeah. Zoe said, it's the butt. You don't touch the butt. Zoe, it is 2025. The butt must be touched. We've actually announced this the year of the butt. The year of the butt. We've actually just been, you've just been reading the Cosmo sealed section.

It's all about the butt. Yeah, there's a lot in there about that. His butt, her butt, their butt. Their butt. Everyone. Yeah, butt. Yeah, butt, nah butt. Alex says, believe it or not, it's a lot in there about that. His butt, her butt, their butt, their butt. Their butt. Everyone. Yeah, butt. Yeah, butt, nah, butt. Alex says, believe it or not, it's all edible.

Couldn't agree with you more. That whole tomato, that whole thing is a delicious treat. Especially the end for the person who's cutting the tomato. I never eat the assholes of any vegetables, says Susie. Susie. Susie. Susie, please watch your language. Susie, too.

So she wouldn't eat the nib of a banana, the little black tip. Oh, no, I always get rid of that. Do you? Yeah. I don't eat that. Nah. It's just the same. That's actually banana poos.

You won't eat the nipple of a tomato, but you'll eat the butt of a banana. 100%. Oh, no. That thing's always hard. What did you say that is? It's the banana poos. Oh, my God. Like a shrimp, the poop shoot.

Yeah, it's a bananas. We've talked about this before. It's the bananas.os. Oh, my God. Like a shrimp, the poop shoot. Yeah, it's a bananas. Yeah. We've talked about this before. It's the bananas. I eat the bananas. Bananas. So easy and so versatile. Bananas. Really mixed a lot into that.

Yeah. It was a saw bit of sewing machine, an anus and a banana. No other radio show's going to do that. No. All at once. They're not brave enough. They don't know how. Rebecca said, no way. My partner always

tells me off for wasting, especially when they're $12 a kilogram. Don't buy tomatoes when they're $12 a kilogram. That's out of season. Get yourself a seasonal treat. You've got to eat seasonal. I've just got to eat seasonal. Eat seasonal. Yeah, sometimes I give it to my dog. She loves her matos.

Dogs love their tomatoes? I think so. Just not chocolate tomatoes. Tomatoes are gross. Tomatoes are yuck. Yeah, I loves her matos. Dogs love their tomatoes? I think so. Just not chocolate tomatoes. Tomatoes are gross, said Ali. Tomatoes are yuck. Yeah, I don't eat tomatoes. I'm on your side. Yeah, they're not great.

Lisa quarters the whole tomato. Nothing goes to waste. Yeah, good. What if she's having it on a Sammy, though? It needs a flat ring. Big chunky. I always give that bit to my dog. He loves his five plus a day.

A few dogs loving tomatoes there. So there you go. That's not wasteful if you actually pass it on to a pet, but don't check with me whether or not pet dogs are allowed tomatoes. That is today's silly little part. Vaughan, as the faja of girls, you will know the...

Smoking a pancake. Smoking a pancake. You will know the bane of glitter and how once it gets somewhere it's everywhere everybody knows this you can never get rid of it and every now and then you just look at something and you just see a little reflective thing

and you can never get rid of it it's horrible and sometimes if I use glitter like I've gone out and I've put glitter on my eyes then for that whole week I'll still have little bits of glitter all over my face everywhere. So this is why this is quite a smart thing to do. There's a woman, she was entering the dating world post-divorce. Yeah.

So she's in her 40s. She's a little bit more mature, shall we say. Okay. And she was like, I know that when I go out dating people, there is a very high chance that they could be married and lying to me just after an affair. You know, men later in life, perhaps this is, you know,

what they're up to. I mean, it does sound like she's a bit jilted. It really sounds like she's really getting into the dating world with some baggage. Yeah, she's also, yeah, this is her first date she's going on and she's already like, he's probably married a pig. He's probably married a pig. He's probably cheating on me.

God damn pigs. But the way that she has kind of tried to work this out is before she puts on her outfit, gets all dressed up, hair done, makeup done, everything, she gets a can of glitter spray or like body spray or I've got like a moisturizer that has glitter in it. Right. And she covers herself in it. And she's like, because they'll know that if they touch me,

they're going to get glitter all over them and it will quite quickly get rid of them. And therefore, they would take the glitter home. To the wife. And the wife would be like, why are you covered in glitter? Why are you covered in glitter? Why are your hands and your cheek and your arms covered in glitter? But even if you weren't cheating,

would you want to touch someone if they were covered in glitter? Because you'd be like, it's going to get all over the sheets. How hot are they? I just think, how hot are they? I also think men should wear glitter more. So my dad stayed,

my mum and dad were staying and my dad, I inherited my dry skin from my father. Yeah. And he was like, have you got any moisturiser? And I was like,

yeah, there's some in the bottom drawer in the bathroom. And I thought he would go for the Aveeno OT. It's the moisturiser he uses. Yeah, right. But he didn't. He went for this coconut-y thing I've got

that's full of glitter and shimmer. I think if given the chance, and, you know, they might have their normal moisturiser or something that looks a bit flasher, most guys probably would go for a little bit flasher. My dad went spicy. Just to try it. I would go coconut because it smells real yum.

Yeah, yeah. So then we got in the car, we were driving and he was in the back seat and I was like, and I smelt it and I hadn't used it that morning and I was like, and I looked around and my dad's knees were all shimmery and I thought it looked quite nice. Why can't men be shimmery? If you get the chance, why not be a little shimmery? It'll obviously look great shimmering.

Yeah. Anyway, this is quite I think this is quite a smart little way to sort of hunt out a cheetah maybe, is to have body glitter on, and if they don't want to press up against you because they don't want to get glitter on them, or if they get glitter on them and they get caught, you're never going to have to deal with a cheetah again.

And you look all sparkly and cute, and I think more men should be sparkly and cute as well. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. and you look all sparkly and cute, and I think more men should be sparkly and cute as well. This is a massive moment for me. You know that I do love my reality TV, and yesterday, after my surgery, I was at home recovering on the couch. Maths. No, not maths.

Maths! I mean, off-air, the girl is, and I've been talking nothing about nothing but about last night's maps episode i can't believe i wish everyone was as excited about maths as they were about maths but it's way more exciting and variable maths is maths yeah maths is what elliot's back i don't know like carry the't know. Like, carry the one, Vaughn. Elliot's back. Carry the one and put him in the trash.

Right. That's what should have happened with him. And Adrian, that's for Adrian. Anyway, God, Mavs was so good last night. Carlin's nodding. We all watched it. It was so good. Anyway, it wasn't Mavs.

I watched Mavs. That was my first thing. Yeah. Then I watched the documentary on the post-Apple Cider Vinegar. Yes. Bell Gibson stuff. Because I the post, Apple Cider Vinegar. Yes. Bell Gibson stuff. Because I had to watch Apple Cider. Oh, yeah, it's actually on Netflix, isn't it?

Yeah. Is it called Searching for the Instagram's Biggest Con Person or whatever it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, because I've been watching all the old 60 Minutes. Because 60 Minutes Australia has just done a follow-up where they talk to Tara Brown and they play a lot of the old interview and stuff

back. It's a simple question, Bill. How old are you? I just love that whole thing. I'm really upset in Apple Cider Vinegar they didn't recreate more of the 60 Minutes interview. It was just at the end, I know. It was just a tiny bit and they didn't even do the age thing. I know.

The funniest thing of the whole 60 Minutes interview. I was raised knowing that I would be a 26-year-old. Anyway, so watch that. Yeah. Then I finished up the Gabby Petito documentary about that. I haven't watched it. Worth a watch. Is that good?

Really good. I mean, it's awful. Yeah. Twas murdered. That's why I'm reluctant to start. Yeah. Twas a murder. Twas a murder.

But really interesting just sort of look at how people present themselves online versus in real life. We talked about how they AI'd her voice. Was that creepy? Yeah, it was, but it wasn't that much. Okay. It wasn't too much. It was just a few like messages and stuff. Twas a bit.

Twas a bit. But yeah, twas based on a murder. So watch with caution. Then I was a bit dry. I was a bit like, fell asleep for a couple of hours. Came back. And then I- You had some sweet post-operation meds. Yeah, but I still had,

and I also had the actual like sleepy drugs still kind of running through my veins. So that was nice. So you decided to watch a murder on Netflix. Yeah. And then I was like, what should I watch? I didn't have the headspace

to watch something of credit. Then I remembered I haven't even started watching the new seasons of The Kardashians. Yeah. Like, which I've loved since they became The Kardashians and not keeping up with The Kardashians, they moved to Disney. I was like, oh my God, it's been so good.

I started watching it. There were three episodes ready. I was like, here's my afternoon sorted. Halfway through it when I was like, the feeling dropped in me. I'm done. I was like, here's my afternoon sorted. Halfway through it when I was like, the feeling dropped in me. I'm done. I'm done with the Kardashians. You've broken up or you're breaking up? Not as people, but with the show.

My feeling of the show was that they've got nothing to talk about anymore. And so we're just filling air because we all want to be making the money. None of them really want to be there. There's no like great goss or anything. Everyone's just sort of doing well. I was really bored. You're plugging their businesses. That's what it is. It's like an hour long advertisement. Yeah. And I just, it was

like, I've always loved watching the Kardashians and keeping up with them. Keeping up with the Kardashians. But now you don't want to be cutting out the Kardashians. Cutting out the Kardashians. I couldn't even watch it. Couldn't even finish it. Really? Yeah. Not even the first episode?

No. It was just like, this is so boring. The way they talk, I was like, they've just completely lost touch. I wanted to say they've never really been in touch. Yeah, when did they have touch? I feel like a little bit they were trying to have touch. All touch is gone. They've just given up the touch.

There's no touch. Yeah, and all this. I don't know. The faces. You don't reckon you'll go back to it? No, I'm done. That's it. No more Kardashians. Aaron's away at the moment, but he'll be really stoked. I was going to say Aaron's not done. He's like, oh my god.

Did you see what Khloe did? No, no, no, no. He'll be really chuffed to come home and know that he doesn't have to watch that. Maths, though. God, he'll be gutted about the Adrian situation. I think that's why he's away. Oh, my God. He's not coming back to a maths assignment. How long's he away for?

I don't know. 30 eps? Yeah. Something like that. Anyway, it's nice. It's going to create space in my head and my heart. For a new show. For a new show.

Okay. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. This is genius. And I'm actually in the middle of trying it at the moment. But now I'm show. Okay. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. This is genius. And I'm actually in the middle of trying it at the moment. But now I'm scared. Okay, someone shared online a way to figure out if your partner is on, what OnlyFans was the example she gave.

Yep. Which I don't know. I don't have a problem personally with it, with a partner having only, like being on OnlyFans? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's no different than if they were on an adult website, right?

Yeah, totally. They're just paying money to watch specific content. Yeah, that's the problem. It's a specific person that they're focusing in on, that they're paying money to have a semi-personal experience with. Sometimes. I mean, yeah, if they're paying for the DMing services and stuff, which, by the way, is often not them. Oh, 100%.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They hire people to do it, right? Yeah, a friend who does it. Replies on behalf. Yeah. Of someone. Yeah, she does it. And that's what she does.

She wakes up early. So she wakes up and logs into whoever the influencer is, the OnlyFans creator, and pretends to be them. Yeah, and that creator is quite a big creator and they have multiple people doing this. So my friend, she works a shift and then someone else works another shift. Is she assigned a follower?

Because if you were the follower and they were like, oh, hey, remember how I told you so-and-so? But you just have to- You had the previous messages. Yeah, you have to read back. It's a lot of homework. It's quite fun. Like when I heard that she was doing this, I was like,

man, I could do that. Little side hustle. I don't want to be on OnlyFans, but I'll do the messaging. How much does the OnlyFans person make and how much does your friend make? I don't know the split of how much. That's insane. I mean, the OnlyFans person's making more. Anyway, so if you're messaging someone on OnlyFans,

just be aware. It may not be the person pictured. Yeah. Anyway, so- Ask them for a photo of them with today's newspaper. Like they're being held hostage. Hot stuff. Prove it.

So I don't have a problem. If my partner was to be on OnlyFans, I'd be like, okay, that's for you. Yeah. That little something. You're not cheating. I don't see it problem. If my partner was to be on OnlyFans, I'd be like, okay, that's for you, that little something. You're not cheating. I don't see it as cheating. Yeah. Anyway, but this person was like,

they would be devastated. So they came up with a way of discovering this, which was you go on OnlyFans, the website, and you put in your partner's email address. You sign up a new account. To create a new account. Yes. Put in your partner's email address. You sign up a new account. To create a new account. Put in your partner's email address

and then hit submit and then it will come up saying this email address is already attached to an account in use. Isn't that genius? That's genius. And then we were like, you could do that with anything.

You could do it on Tinder. But then when you went on Tinder, it's phone number. Well, just for a gag because I know he never would and people would be like, you never know. Honestly, he's not capable. I went on Tinder, it's phone number. Well, just for a gag, because I know he never would, and people would be like, you never know. Honestly, he's not capable. I went on Tinder to sign up, and I put in Aaron's email and phone number,

but then it was going to text him a code to verify or something like that, and I was like, oh, no. I don't want to. He'd be a little confused. He'd be like, what's Tinder? What is happening here? No, thank you. I'm good for firewood. I don't need any. He'll be like, what's Tinder? What is happening here? No, thank you. I'm good for firewood.

I don't need any small kindling or Tinder. I've already stocked up over the summer so the Tinder's nice and dry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the winter. But that's genius. That's genius, isn't it? Because I've had this before when I've gone to sign up for things. And you've forgotten that you've.

Years ago I would have used it and I'd put in my email address and I'd be like, this is already new address and I'd be like this is already new so I'd be like oh okay that's just Hayley trying to get another 15% new customer code I'm just trying to get

a new code just trying to get set up a new email just try summer 10 summer 15 yeah you know what I mean couple of really popular names

with 10 after it so I mean look do with that information what you will if you're rattling about some adult websites today, maybe chuck in your partner's email. This would be for people who don't obviously have shared finances

because if you had shared finances, you'd see it. Oh, yeah. OnlyFans comes up as like OF or something. Yeah. Yeah. I need to explain that to Helen. What's this? It's a cafe.

It's an Auckland cafe. No, no. It's called Oscillating Fans. Oscillating Fans. You know how it's so hot? I bought an Oscillating Fan. I've got a subscription to Oscillating Fans. Yeah.

And every month they send me a new, more exciting fan that oscillates. She got it as well. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Well, Easter is 51 days away. Okay. 50 days away. We need to order our hot cross buns that we have every year.

I saw some hot cross buns in a cafe the other day. Yeah, there is. And I was like, what? It's too, oh no, it's not. It's March this weekend.

Yeah. Yeah, but Easter this year is not until April 20. Yeah. So we are still It's a bit later. seven weeks out. Yeah, it's a bit later.

But Costco's had this massive thing of hot cross buns for like weeks and weeks and weeks. Do they do a good bun at Costco? They do actually do a good bun. Good bun. Yeah, right. Good bun.

This is the treat that has been spotted in Woolworths in Australia. It is a collab. Because, you know, they have in the past, and I think they have for sale, the collab hot cross buns have done the Biscoff. Yeah. Oh, my God. Shannon's Biscoff lolly cake. Like, there's nothing like it. Biscoff is delicious.

It's like a malt biscuit, eh? Yeah, malt biscuit. But it's just different. Butter. And they've done the Cadbury. They've done a Colab with Cadbury with their Hot Cross Buns. Yeah. And now they have launched a Cinnabon

collab for their Easter buns. So it's like a hot cross bun, but inside is described as an irresistible Cinnabon infused bun filled with gooey cream cheese style filling. Yeah, I love anything cream cheese. So the icing that's on the Cinnabon is inside. Yeah.

The hot cross bun. Now, Cinnabon launched in New Zealand because you used to see this in airports in America and all over America if you've travelled there. We got sent some. I tried it. It was yum. Yum, yum, yum. Producer Carwin, you've had Cinnabon.

You actually lined up. Oh, I am like number one fan. We got invited to the launch because they knew that Carwen had to be there. They were VIPs. Yeah, they've had lines ever since they opened and I went to the mall the other day, actually to get Vaughan's birthday present. You're welcome. Well, no, me and Fletch got there.

Oh, sorry. Me and Fletch went out. That's crazy that you guys didn't do it. Thanks, Fletch. Thanks, Hayley. Yeah, you're so welcome. Like how you guys got me those flowers for Valentine's Day, Completely unprompted. Genuine friends. That's what we do. Carwin's never involved in any of that.

And it was the first time I've walked past Cinnabon in the Newmarket Mall and there hasn't been a line. Oh, yeah, because there's always a line. And of course it was the time that I was like, actually, I don't really feel like one today. But you should have got one anyway. Don't listen to your body when it comes to food. Just eat it.

You should be healthy. But yeah, so just like the other hot cross buns that have been seen in Australia, normally they come here. Yeah, totally. And we've got a Cinnabon now, so that could be something to look forward to. Yum.

I love hot cross buns. But they've got to be zesty. They've got to have a lot of butter. They have to have orange zest in them. Yes, yes, yes, yes. They have to be toasted only on one side. Like I don't toast the tops. I just open and toast that.

And then I need- Lots of butter. Oh my, 100 grams of butter. Yeah, like half a block. Yeah, I need 250 grams of butter. You almost melt butter into it and then put some hard butter on top. Yeah, you've got to melt it so it soaks

and then you need a slice of cold butter. You've made French toast? Have you made like a French toast version of a hot cross bun? No, I've made French toast with croissants before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot cross bun French toast. And it's actually recommended by 9 out of 10 heart specialists. It has

a 4 star health rating out of 5. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of the orange zest. Because there's a little tiny bit of fruit. It's 5 plus a day. Or sultanas in it. Yum. It's the season. That's two fruits. That's two fruits.

Yum. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. I played a card-based version of Guess Who at the weekend. A card version? It's a card. It's like a travel one. Okay. So you

don't have a board or anything? You don't have the two boards where you go flick and flick them and then one of them always just like comes out. That's the funnest bit about this. You go, you lay out your red cards, I lay out my blue cards and then we shuffle the yellow, we pick a yellow each and then that's our person. So it's basically without the boards.

Right. Kind of like how Monopoly did Monopoly Deal, so it's easier and more compact. I've got that, I've never played it. Oh my god, it's basically without the boards. Right. Kind of like how Monopoly did Monopoly Deal. So it's easier and more compact. I've got that. I've never played it. Oh my God, it's so good. People rave about it. Oh my God, I'd say it's almost better than the real thing. It's better than the original.

Well, it's quicker, right? It doesn't last for eight hours and end with someone throwing the dog in somebody else's face. Can you borrow money from the bank and cheat in that one? No, you can't borrow money from the bank and cheat. Damn it. Ha ha, you'll never win again. Yeah. I was really good at bank and cheat in that one? No, you can't borrow money from the bank and cheat. Damn it. Ha ha, you'll never win again. Yeah. I was really good at white collar fraud in that.

Yeah, you were actually. That's where you learn how to do the real thing out in the real world. Yeah. Oh God, I just gave away that you're a craminer. He's a craminer. Here's what my problem was with Guess Who. All of the new characters are attractive. No.

You couldn't ask, oh, is your character a minger? You are right, though, because, yeah, they weren't attractive. I've looked up the original line-up for Guess Who, and there wasn't a single attraction. Oh, maybe Maria would have got it, actually. Maria with the green grey would have absolutely got it. But, like, on the dude side of things, depending what you're into. There was that big bald guy with the rosy cheeks.

Bill. Bill. That was, you'd always say, is your character's head shaped like an egg? What about Richard? Because you look like Richard. Bald, long, kind of really ginger beard. Are you hearing this?

I am. Well, she's over there carrying on. She's the Maria of the show. No, I said that what about him? Like he was attractive and then I said that he looked like you. No, say he looks like me.

He does look like you. He's not attractive. He didn't shave his head when he got bored. He just let the side bits grow out. I always had a little thing for Bernard.

You know, the Russian guy with like the Russian hat. He looked like a communist. Yeah, he looked like a communist. Wasn't he a French? Bernard. Or was he a French guy? No, Maria wore the beret.

That gave her a French beret. Eric was wearing a blue hat. He looked to be some sort of traffic controller or something. Alfred's a bit of me with the long hair, the mustache, handlebar mustache. He looks like he'd be like, hey, get on the back of my Harley Davidson. Looks like a roadie. Yeah. Looks like a roadie.

Robert always looks sad and I always wondered why was Robert so upset? So do these new Guess Who characters have the same name, but they're hotter? No, new names. Okay. Oh, no. New names, hotter people, more ethnic diversity. Well, that's good.

Yeah, I know. It's great because I was just reading in the original line-up there was only one non-white character. Yeah, so you can literally say, is your character white? No. Oh, I'd lost. You're Anne. And then they redrew Anne as a white woman.

Oh, really? With a perm. They whitewashed her. And then it wasn't even male or female numbers, was it? Five females. Yeah. And the original guess who? If you pulled a female, you'd be like, oh, I'm going to lose.

And they'd be like, is your character a boy or a girl? And you'd be like, oh, gosh. But today, in 2025, you're not even allowed to ask that question. My retaliation would be, what is gender? And then I'd say, next question. It's a construct. I don't know. Yeah. God, this game's going to take a'd say, next question. It's a construct. I don't know.

God, this game's going to take a while. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then everyone's too scared to ask what race that is. Who are we? Yeah. Guess who's a very cancelable offence? Does your character look like they would have an accent of sort of?

What are you trying to say? No, just like that they would be from a. What are you trying? You know what? Ask another that that would be from a... What are you trying... You know what? Ask another question. Might be like, you know, something.

A what? So, you know, I don't... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they look like they might be like... Well, that was one of the questions

where the girls... One of my daughters said, is your character Asian? Yep. And I said, no. But then it turned out that there was a person that they thought was Asian and I was like, that person's not of Asian descent. Well, your girls are Asian and you wouldn't always look at them and say.

I know, so I can't argue with them, so I got cancelled. They're Asian. Oh, my gosh. So you lost custody. Well, I lost custody. You got cancelled about misidentifying Asian people to your Asian children. Yes. Wow.

I know. Terrible. I can't actually even believe they've let you into work today. I know. I'm here to try to redeem myself. Who were we talking about last week and we were like, they're hot? Who were we talking about? The hot woman from Cluedo.

Scarlett. Scarlett. I was Scarlet. Scarlet. Colonel Mustard. Colonel Mustard's hot too because he had a military rank, so it made him a little bit hot. Hello, Colonel. It made him a little bit hot. Standard East, Colonel.

Board games did change. They had a change when you're going through your changes and you're like, why do I feel this way about Miss Scarlet? And you say, would like some alone time in the library with her and a candlestick, if you know what I mean. She can play with my candlestick in the library. Absolutely, yeah. What would Ben or Mustard say about that?

Well, is it his library? She can be me with the candlestick. I don't know. I would like to know this morning if there was a board game character you thought was pretty hot. Oh, God. Yeah, great. Nobody is going to call for that. The way those hungry hippos gobbled up those balls.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody was tingling or finding the hungry, hungry hippos attractive. Maybe one of the Guess Who characters. Yeah. Although I was going to say who's going to call, but we have touched on cartoon characters that people have had a thing for. I want to specifically talk about board games. Yeah, you're great.

You know, the babe of the board. The babe of the board. Who, the babe of the board. The babe of the board. Who was your babe of the board? The Cluedo, like Cluedo definitely had some sexy ones. I mean, they were represented

by little stupid counters. And because one of them was a real bad boy. What about the Monopoly guy? Like he's a dapper dude. Do you know what I mean? He's dapper. He's always in a suit.

He was in charge of the entire board. I assume he was some sort of political figure. Right. Mr. Monopoly. Okay. And there are some boats in Battleship that absolutely do.

The long boats, the four prongs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Two chimneys. I'm more of a four prong girl than a two prong. I think you're asking too much this morning, Vaughn. Am I asking too much of the people? No, not at all.

I'm on board. Okay. On board. For me, four prpronged battleship. Let's try this. 0800-DARLS-IT-M is our number. 9696-TXT. What about wildcard and uno?

Oh, my God. That's not even a person. With four? All four colours? You saucy bee. It's a sexy power. What is this, hell? It's a sexy power.

What are you doing? I'm not going to be able to lose next round. Also, pansexual. Loves everyone. Exact. Can be anything. Can be anything. Can be anything. The wild card doesn't have a type or a number or a colour that they like.

They're just a bit of everyone. What about a hotel on a Monopoly board? Why are you red? An inanimate object. Okay. I'll eat a hundred dolls at Emma's number. I'll give you three of these green things if you give me one red thing. 9696.

Who's your babe of the board? Some amazing messages coming in. We've asked. Who's your babe of the board? Some amazing messages coming in. We've asked, who's the babe of the board? The sexiest board game character. The sexiest. And you don't have to explain it. You can try, but maybe you just feel funny about, somebody's mentioned, are we including packs of cards?

Yeah, that's a game. Oh, yeah, like the Joker and stuff. Yeah, blackjack. Jen, you've raised this point because, is it the king of hearts for you? Yeah. Gosh, he's so charming. Yeah, that little bugger, isn't he? It's on a playing card.

He's got like the original sort of vibe I'm looking at here. He's got a sword behind his head. Like he's so nonchalant about it. So, oh, this is my sword, babe. And what, because he's the king of hearts, he might be romantic as well? Yeah, that's so charming. Yeah, he's got a lovely head of hair as well,

those long sort of shoulder curls. Yeah. Somebody messaged in, how do we feel about the queen of clubs? She was always so mysterious. Okay, the queen of clubs meaning is, okay, I've found that there's facts about them. She's confident and mysterious. Okay, the queen of clubs meaning is... Okay, I've found there's facts about them.

She's confident and a self-assured woman, passionate, a master manifester, and a social influencer. What about the king of hearts? What about the king of hearts? Oh, this is a tarot thing. Can you do tarot with just a pack of cards? Jen, thank you. Let's go to Shelley. Shelley, who's your board of the

babe? Babe of the board? Babe of the board. Babe of the board. It's definitely got to be the Monopoly man. Really? Oh, yeah. Isn't he like 100? Well, we don't discriminate. No, exactly.

Yeah, no, we don't. What do you like about him? What gets you going? I feel like maybe it's the hat. Similar vibes to like Cat in the Hat, you know, like they give off the same sort of, like, authoritative role. Okay, okay. She needs a doll.

And just all that kind of property and capitalism. This is probably a bit niche, but... No, please, please, please. There's nothing too niche here on the show. Please. Yeah, I know. The thimble. Yeah, the thimble, eh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, man. It's because there's a phallic nature to the thimble. Yeah. The hat and the thimble. Yeah, they're robust. Yeah. The other ones are so sort of bitsy.

Shelley, somebody messaged in along the same lines. If they're playing a game of chess, it's the bishop piece for them because it's... Oh, yeah. Yes. Isn't it? See, Shelley? Okay, people are weird. I just...

You have someone else messaging saying that they get going over the get out of jail free card. Yeah, it's being sent to jail. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Shelley, calm down. I love it. Somebody said, I love this.

Thank you, Shelley. Somebody said, I don't know if you guys ever played the Game of Life by Milton Bradley. Yeah, that's a popular game. If your career was superstar, there was a girl on the superstar card and they said when they were little, she always made them feel funny. And I found the card. She's an attractive, darker-skinned woman with curly hair and she's showing a bit of cleavage.

Dad probably would have quite liked that. Got cleavage. Bit of cleavage in the child's game. What a family game. What a family game. What a family game. The game of life. We have been inundated with messages in

and we'll get to more of those next. Your babe of the board. Yeah. It's pretty horny in here, guys. Yeah, it's hot, man. So, Vaughan,

you were playing the card version of the new Guess Who with the new characters that are... Oh, they've got complete top to bottom work over

new names modern names modern takes and they're all attractive yeah it used to just be all mingers in Guess Who

there were like one or two that you're like couple of drinks maybe do you remember most of them were pretty mingy but they weren't

trying to be attractive but now they're very like aesthetically pleasing and I was trying to explain to my kids it's not as much fun slamming them down when they're attractive. Yeah.

Meanwhile, in the old game, you looked at Herman, you'd be like, blech. Oh, Herman. Get out, Herman. Silly, curly hair. It has led us down this bizarre road where surprisingly, not surprisingly,

many messages have come in. Who is your babe of the board? What board game characters? So do you think? And we thought you'd go for your straight up human-esque characters. No way. It's weird. It's energetic.

Yeah, it's an energy and it's a power dynamic. Somebody said, old Professor Plum from Cluedo. Yeah. No dice. Right. New Professor Plum. Ohuedo. Yeah. No dice. Right. New Professor Plum. Oh, have they made him?

I've given him a... Well, I've just found this one. That's the new Professor Plum. He's sort of like a... My goodness. Sexy David Tennant as Doctor Who. Almost Panic at the Disco. Yeah. Glasses on.

Like a sexy grown up Harry Potter vibe. Hot. Into some weird stuff. He's got kinks galore. In the kitchen. Has anyone mentioned the body from Operation? Yes. Yes.

I'll go you one further. Someone said when Shrek was naked lying on the table for Shrek Operation. Wait, was there a Shrek Operation? Yeah, we've got Minions Operation. Oh, they're different versions. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

Yeah. Okay, somebody else said there was a board game that was played with a videotape called Nightmares and I think the guy on there was, I was obsessed with how he talked. It gave me such a thrill and such a rush and looking back on it now, it was erotic. Wow.

Maybe they've got a fair kink. Yeah. And we're not here to judge. Oh my God, we're not. We're here to encourage. Are you surprised by the amount of messages that judge. Oh my God, we're not. We're here to encourage. We're absolutely here to encourage. Are you surprised by the amount of messages that have come in? Actually, it's shocked.

Somebody said, do you remember a board game called Hamburger where the idea was you had to build your hamburger as quick as you could. It was eight different ingredients to the hamburger. There was a mustard. And it might have just been because the only other female representation was a fat tomato, but she was a slim blonde mustard. And the mustard squirting out of the top of the tube was her blonde ponytail.

Oh, hot. I can see the photo of that now. Yeah, okay, that's weird. My babe of the board. A lot of Cluedo votes here. There's nothing I wouldn't confess to Reverend Green from Cluedo. Is that because it's naughty?

Yeah, it's naughty. I mean, Scarlett's got a lot of votes here. Somebody said there was a Sweet Valley High board game. And I remember this because Sweet Valley High was massive. Yeah. Books and TV series and stuff. Sweet Valley High board game, there wasn't a single dude represented in that game that I'd say no to.

That's what somebody said. I would say not a single one. Someone just said, what about just straight up the last puzzle piece? And I'm left with a sham. I get it. It does feel good. It does feel so good.

Somebody had messaged in the mouse from Mousetrap, but I'll do you one better. What? The basket from Mousetrap. Oh, no, I'm caught. Oh, no. And it's up the top of that thing you're right the basket it's the basket it's the basket i know what i you know a shout out to the

marble who earlier in the guy earlier in the um whole contraption of mousetrap certainly played a very vital point in setting off a whole series of things to catch the mouse. We've made people steamy. Someone's like, Maria from Guess Who, that beret, dot, dot, dot. That beret, you can leave your hat on. From the original Guess Who, it would be Maria would represent the females. Yeah.

I'm not sure who would represent the males from the original Guess Who. We've got some curve appreciation. Go on. Hungry, hungry hippo. Oh, they're so hungry, they're gobbling them up. They're gobbling them up. Beautiful chubby chick. Yeah.

Somebody said, what about a double six when you're rolling two dice? On a board game. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That is good stuff. That's really good. Any votes for pass the pigs? Oh, the pigs are getting no votes.

Somebody said the elephant that you squeezed to keep the butterflies afloat. But that was, I thought that was a pig game. But not past the pigs. That was a card game, mate. No, it was the dice. The pigs were the dice. Oh, the pigs were the dice. That's right.

And they rolled in however they landed. And you had to try to get that. That's right. That's right. Any for Scrabble? No, but Q. Q on a triple word score? With a little U.

Q always with a little U. No, no, no, no. triple word school? With a little U. Q always with a little U. No, no, no, no. We didn't have that with a U. We just always had raw dog Q. Q always came with a little U. No, no, no. It's too easy. I think he got the cabbage.

Cabbage one. Cabbage one. Cabbage. You got cabbage scrabble. Cab scrab. You got cab scrab. Cab scrab. Cab scrab merlot.

Oh, no. I don't have cab Crab Merlot. Oh, no. I want Caps Crab Merlot. Oh, okay. What about somebody, see, when you tipped out the monkeys in the barrel and it looked like they were having an orgy because they were all in a big pile. Oh, God, they're all twisted limbs akimbo. You're ready to shake it. Whose hand is this?

Yeah. Okay, well, we have to go. We have to go to the break now and play Secret Sound and get the news. But I feel like there's something more in this. I feel like we can. We've got to simply find the and get the news. But I feel like there's something more in this. I feel like we can... We've got to simply find the babe of the board. Like a battle. We could put them all out and put them against each other

and we'll whittle it down. So the nation chooses who is the babe of the board. This one's a weird one and I totally get it and I can't explain it. Okay. The yellow disc from Connect Four. What about the red one? Not interesting.

No, no, no, you're right. It's yellow. Red's so obvious. Yellow's the underdog. Yes. And that's what I think. Red's like a sort of arrogant jock. Yeah.

Yellow's like that sort of crafty poet in the corner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The arty one. I choose you. Got some secrets. Yeah, and he's like, watch me. Yeah. I just formed a line, babe.

Okay, well, watch this space. I've got one more to go, and guess what? Even if they block me there, I've got another one lined up over here. I'm all set up. Because I'm yellow. I can't be beat. And get ready to flick that basket to the bottom and watch a whole pile of me hit the deck.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. I will say, coming up soon on the show, we've got a Muscle Mister update. That's, if you heard him screaming at the top of the hour. That's what I was screaming about. That was the response. The Muscle Mister update. This could be some breaking news. I think this deserves breaking news.

Does New Zealand's largest supermarket have New Zealand's largest Muscle Mister? That is the thing that the mussels sit under, and it squirts water on them to keep them wet until you take muscle. I missed all this yesterday. Yeah, you missed it really. I missed it all. You were in hospital. I was in hospital, and I don't want people to be worried about me. Like, I've just got some stuff going

on at the moment, but I'm going to be fine. Hopefully I'm going to make it through. Hashtag sick. Nah. Yesterday I was. I was in hospital. I had a minor surgery on my vagina. Vajayjay Feeney. My Vajayjay Feeney as we so lovingly call her. Absolutely packed with scandals.

Well, do you have to have the scandals removed? Well, I had one scandal removed. Yeah. Yeah, big sissy scandal. I had a Bartholin cyst, which is quite, they're quite common apparently. I had to get it surgically removed. There was a couple of things really interesting.

So I like did my hospital admissions form, you know, online and all that kind of stuff. And then I didn't think of anything of it, but they asked if I was Maori, which I am, undercover. But I'm Maori. Undercover. Undercover with my Pākehā face, but Maori on the inside. So I put yes and I put my iwi and all this kind of stuff

and I thought nothing of it. And then the day before, when I forwarded it to you guys, I got a text. I definitely thought this was a scam, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she's going to want money. And it was from a lovely wahine who said, Kia ora, Hayley.

This is my name. I'm the Kaimahi Māori for Southern Cross Healthcare. Would you like a karakia prior to surgery tomorrow? A little prayer. Now, I was like, absolutely. I just was like, I had no idea this was a thing. Absolutely, I'll have a little karakia. I'm not religious, but I'll kar this was a thing. Absolutely, I'll have a little karakia. I'm not religious, but I'll karakia.

I'll bloody, I'll amene. Okay, so now carry on. I want to know what one she got. Which one, which karakia I got. Which karakia was she got? Whakatakate ho. Do you know that one? Oh, I don't know if I do.

I know the food ones. Oh, the food ones. That's not food, is it? No, I didn't get a food prayer before they cut a cyst out of my vagina, no. On this admissions thing, was there like food options, like chicken, fish? They asked for food

allergies, and I said no, I was fine. Do you know what I got? Okay, well hang on, I'll finish this first. And then I got there, and this is an amazing thing, I've never experienced this before, and I'm on health insurance, so it was all private, so maybe this is an amazing thing, I've never experienced this before and I'm on health insurance so it was all private so maybe this is something they only offer to private passions

Private people get cut of care It's so relatable Public you're going in prayer free Private you're getting a cut of care Just imagine white old ladies What's this Mara doing? Singing me a song or something?

It was amazing. She just like knocked on the door when I was like about to go through to the operating theatre and just came and had a chat with me.

We talked about our families and then she gave me a little karakia. But she did speak to me in Maori for a while and I remember being like, oh no, I'm about to be exposed.

Was it like when you watch I'm Te Karade and you're watching and you only understand Winston Peters when they say it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when they say it,

you go, mm, mm, mm, mm. But then she was like, okay, I'll just give you a little karakia and then I'm going to pop off. And I was like, great. And she started it

and I knew it. So I got to karakia along and I felt a bit like, she was like, oh, I didn't know. I didn't know you were real, baby. And I was like, yeah, I do. So that was quite fun,

but an amazing service that they provided, just a little thing. And then, what were we talking about? Oh, I do. So that was quite fun, but an amazing service that they provided, just a little thing. And then, what were we talking about? Oh, the food. So afterwards, I was in my little house.

Well, if it's private, I imagine, I haven't been in hospital for a very long time since I was a kid. She ticked Maori, so she's just getting hangi. Surely.

I didn't get hangi. Surely they're making you hangi. They didn't dig a pit for me. Out the back of the hospital. No respect. We have three Maori patients on the wall today. No, you're multi-kai cooker. There's no need to dig a pit for me. Out the back of the hospital. No respect. We have three Māori patients on the wall today. No, you're a multi-guy cooker. There's no need to dig a hole.

Let's go multi-guy. No, no, no. It was a classic chicken sammy, which I tell you what, was just heaven. One of the best sandwiches I've ever had was my ham and cheese after my propofol. Yeah, how good. And you fasted for a couple of days.

I'd only fasted for like half a day. Chicken sandwich, little bottle of vanilla ice cream, and a bloody jelly. Oh, they love jelly in the hospital. A jelly. They love jelly. Oh. Peach.

A posh-flavoured jelly. Yeah, it was like orange, but it wasn't orange-flavoured. Well, it was private, darling. Oh, okay. I thought you just called Whatever colour it was I had some red flavoured jelly Oh yeah but this was like light orange Not orange like you would an orange

Normal jelly That's private obviously Or maybe it could be as well because I'm Maori And they give the Maori people the orange jelly And the white people the green I don't know And then the only other debate I had while I was doing it was my lovely friend, Justine Smith, hilarious woman, comedian extraordinaire.

She was my driver and picker-upperer because Aaron's away. Oh, yeah. She said yes before she knew she had to pick me up at 5.55 in the morning. Yeah, very early for a comedian. Yeah, but when we got there, she's like, I'll come in and I'll drop you off. And I was like, people are going to think we're lesbians. So we sort of held hands for a bit. Right.

And they gave me a form and they said, oh, the only thing that you haven't filled in on the form is your title that you would like. Doctor. No, no, the doctor wasn't on this one. What, like your occupation? No, no, title, like Mr. Miss, Mrs. Miss, all that kind of stuff.

So, screw you. I get it, as I always do at 35, and I ticked Miss. And Justine just burst out laughing. She was like, in what bloody world are you a Miss? I don't know the difference. What's, like, M-I-S-S, Miss.

M-I-S-S. Or M-S. Miss. And obviously, Misses if you're married. Misses if you're married. But what's the difference? Is there an age cutoff for Miss and Miss? No, I just think it's like a feeling.

It's an energy. As a rule of thumb, if a guest is a child, feel free to use Miss. If she's an unmarried adult, go with Miss or Miz. Keep in mind that Miz is often preferred to a dressed woman over 18. You're two 18s, by the way, so you've got to calm down on this Miss bullshit. Not yet.

If she's married and you know her truth and total, write that. So you are a Miss. You're a Miss. No, I'm not. Miss. Going back to the one where it said unmarried woman.

Miss is used for adult woman 18 years old. I would say late 20s, absolute max using Miss. Are you sure? Mid 20s. If you're allowed to go by Miss, I'm allowed to go by

Master Vaughan Smith. You're not a Master. I'm a Master. Because that's what they call little men. Masters, right? And then you become a Mister. Yeah. And then later on you become a moster. But you just go through the vowels.

And then a muster, just before you die. Well, I'm sorry, I'm Miss. I'm hanging on to Miss. And Mrs Justine can shut her mouth next time. I'm not ticking Miss. I'm not a Miss. I give big Miss energy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It was a massive day for producer Shannon with her hacks. She's never even come close to a five star. If you've ever missed a segment, Shannon tries to give us a hack. And we said to her when she gets a five star hack, we're going to give her her own full jingle, full set up. It's an official segment and we would celebrate her.

I believe it's been a year of Shannon giving us hacks and trying. Some say flogging a dead horse, but we gave her one more go. And she did it. Bye, Crikey. If you haven't seen the video, it's on our socials. We absolutely celebrated her. Shannon, you gave us a hack. How to get

a little break in the workplace. Yeah, you head to whitescreen.online. You can put an amount of a time for a break you want, select what kind of computer you have. It makes your screen unusable for that amount of time. You don't have to work. Yeah, it makes it look like your computer's updating, so you can be like, oh, I can't do anything.

Yeah. And we were like, she's finally done it. This is a brilliant hack, five stars. Five't do anything. Yeah. And we were like, she's finally done it. Yeah. This is a brilliant hack. Five stars. Five stars all round. All round. And I will say, the video went up and the amount of love I received. Thank you to everyone who supported me.

Wow. It's a no. Let's hold on, Shannon. Well, that's the thing. Because you may have been a bit early in your celebration. Yeah. The first two days were glorious. Yeah, glorious.

And then I started to get messages. These things hit a tipping point, don't they? Yeah. And I found out that I have got this website banned from multiple workplaces including our government. Yeah. That's on you,

Shannon. So, two things need to happen here. Shannon, we need an on-air apology. We've had to do them before. And so shall you. An on-air apology. Should we first go through some of the feedback received? Yes, yeah, lovely. Pink Deedle writes,

doesn't work on government computers. Oh, yeah. Cry face, cry face. So she's calling for a recount of the five-star hack. Yeah, okay. Another reason to get fired. This is stupidity at its worst. Says Chia Jasper.

That really slaps. Fragrant ketchup. Wait, what? Worthless people on the job site? Crazy. Exhibit A of why the feds are making cuts. That's from an American listener, I'd imagine. That's Mama Brugni.

Upset. She sounds like a doge magger. Dave Swede said these are the employees who are getting everyone called back into the office. Oh yeah, you want to work from home. Get back in the office. There's no energy. Blood Rain 420. Okay. Right.

I knew this 20 years ago. A bit slow there. Wow. Wow. And this is why you lot are disc jockeys, right? Dirty 007. Wow. Disc jockey. I can't believe James Bond himself.

Yeah. Now, I actually think three things need to happen here. One, we need to distance ourselves, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, from this hack that was completely shannered. She doesn't run them past us in the moment. Yeah, yeah. Yes, we gave it five stars, but this was before we were educated

and we thank people like Dirty 007 for educating us. The second thing that needs to happen is an on-air apology, Shannon, and I'll pass it over to you. I am... No, make it formal. I, Shannon Trim.

I, Shannon Trim. Of Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Of Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Now you fill in the rest because we want it to come from the heart. Despite gathering Instagram followers yesterday because I talked about my massive boobs, I'm going to hold a can of Coke.

By the way, they continued to dribble in overnight. Yeah, didn't they? All of Shannon's new followers, they were just like, she can hold a can of Coke. I, Shannon Trim of Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley with magnificent norks that can hold a can of Coke. I mean, I didn't say it like thatorks that can hold a can of coke. I mean, I didn't say it like that, did I?

No, you didn't. Sincerely apologise. Sincerely apologise. It's not sounding sincere, Shannon. It's not. It's not. I think I'm sincere, but a part of me is still stoked. You know, like I got the five. Well.

And I think the third thing that needs to happen on the show is a redaction. We need to, and a re-evaluation of the hack, because if a lot of people can't use this hack, it's not five stars for me. It's not five stars. It's not five. And it's actually causing harm. People's jobs are, you know, being questioned. So I'm, personally, I don't know about you two,

but I'm going to bring mine down to a three. I was going to bring mine to a four because it's still quite good. We can still use it. Three, four. I'll go to three and a half then to me in the middle. Okay. So that's an average of three and a half. Three and a half. So the jingle that I've actually written, sung, recorded, played the piano on, redacted.

You don't get it. Yep. Gone. Yep. It's gone. Just like that. Tearing up the contract for the jingle. Not the contract.

That's the show plan. I was just trying to. I was worried. I picked it up to rip it. Yep, it's gone. Just like that. Tearing up the contract for the jingle. Not the contract, that's the show plan. Yeah, no, I was just trying to, I was worried. I picked it up to rip it, and then Hayley made it sound like she'd created something digitally and I didn't know how to get my sound to have it being dragged into the recycling bin on my computer. It should have been the trash can, me dragging it to the trash can. That's what it should have been, unfortunately. So that five-star hack has been redacted

and we do apologise to our listeners. Fortune. No jingle! Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We're doing the origins of insults this week for Fact of the Day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. We're doing the origins of insults this week for Fact of the Day. Okay. Looking into some origins of insults. Tomorrow, join us as we look what insults the Bible gave us.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Some whales is from the Holy Book. Have you done Shakespeare? No, but he was also, he invented quite a few of them. A number of words. Here's some, I thought today. Shut up, shut up, stop talking.

It's not your time. This is Vaughan Smith's fact. Oh my God, stop bringing your private school facts here. No, Shakespeare created one of your favourite words, cuck. Did he? Yeah. Cuckold. And then did he make the chair that goes in hotels?

And then he was like, we can't have the cuck just stand there. Let's make him a chair. It's already embarrassing enough. He's already full of shame. Let the man sit. I've got some rare and often unknown insults that used to be used heaps but don't have kind of faded out of use. Like in oldie times.

Oldie times. I was going to go through a few of them just quickly and give you the definition of them. A cockalorum. Okay. A cockalorum is a boastful and self-important person, a strutting little fellow. Because of course, like strutting like a rooster,

like a cock. Oh yeah, okay. A cockalorum. Strutting little fellow. So you could use that if you've got a cockalorum at work. You could say, look at this little cockalorum. And it's a strutting little boastful fellow who's quick to tell you how wonderful he is. I like that. A snollygoster. An unprincipled but shrewd person. A snollygoster. An unprincipled but shrewd person. A snollygoster

is a fellow who wants office regardless of party platform or principles is the origin. So you're David Seymour's, you're Winston Peter's. What is it? Snollygoster. A snollygoster. He is a snollygoster. He reeks of snollygoster. David Seymour is a snollygoster.

And a cockalorum. And a little cockalorum. And a cockalorum. And a little cockalorum. And a cockalorum. And a pillock as well, which is an X1. I love pillock. A stupid or foolish person. But apparently Americans just don't use pillock. But of course, British people still use pillock.

Yeah, my mum loves a pillock. Oh, he's calling someone a pillock. What's the origin of a pillock? Yeah. The origin of the pillock is, it comes from the male sexual organ. Oh, okay. Of old English. Right.

Yeah, so that's the origins of that. A lick spittle is a suck up, a fawning subordinate or a sucker. A lick spittle, because basically that spit, the person would look it up like a brown noser. I mean, fawning subordinate is good enough as well. And I want to finish on a ninny hammer. That is a simpleton or a fool or a ninny. A ninny hammer.

They're a ninny, but they are very forceful. They don't know how stupid they are. Right. So they believe they're correct. So they're like a hammer. They'll be used as a blunt force object. But again, a lot of these seem to tick the box, don't they?

They seem to be, David Seymour. Try not to be political, but God, it's hard. Next time there's a protest, we could really get some good insults on some placards. I was going to look to finish on one that wasn't David Seymour, but the next one is a mumpsimus. That is a stubborn person who insists on making an error in spite of being shown that it's wrong.

Again, I don't know. School lunches. The school lunches. The school lunches. The school lunches. You eat lunches. The school lunches. Yeah, nah. Exactly. So today's fact of the day is there is a world of amazing insults out there

that we've stopped using and I believe we totally can. Maybe aimed at one specific person. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Great article I read on article. What's it called on Reddit? Thread. Thread. Great thread on Reddit.

Someone taken to the internet to ask the question of whether or not it was a good idea to buy a house with their partner that they've only been together with for six months, which is... Oh, holla, we won't bring up. No, no, because they're buying the house. Oh, yeah, well, I just assumed they were both going in to buy the house. They are both going in to buy the house, and that is the reason why they're wanting to do it, because if you don't get in, you know, they've got enough money together to do it, but not enough money to do it because if you don't get in,

you know, they've got enough money together to do it but not enough money to do it separately. They've found a great place and they're like, if we pool our resources. But six months. You don't even know them yet. That's like the of the honeymoon period. Yeah, totally.

You've not even got to the honey part. You're a little on the moon. You know, we're early. And then got out of the honeymoon period and gone past the moon and just be drifting aimlessly in space waiting to die. Into the sun. Eventually. So where they are, which is in the UK,

they say the rental market is just stretched thin. And so what they have to live in is crap. But they've found a little place that they're like, we're way better off buying this together, saving a bit of money. Like, do you know what I mean? It works out that they would save less.

So it is smart. I kind of get it. Like, why not roll the dice? Yeah, totally. Like, if you're going to pay more in rent and it is going to be cheaper, do it. Like, what's the worst? Bit of admin selling it.

Hopefully you don't lose money. Maybe you make some. Maybe you do get an agreement so say they came with a hundred grand and then they came with 300 that then you split it oh yeah they get to the same way or something like that and then the profits i don't know but it was an interesting debate and people going like it's too soon it's too soon but you hear about these couples that make really big moves yeah early on in their relationships. Like I look back over the years and yeah, some people have done that, like straightaway move in and you're like, oh, that's too soon. Straightaway have a baby.

But to this day, still together. Yeah, totally. And going strong. Yeah, totally. Well, that's what I want to ask this morning is what was the big move you made with a partner very early on in the relationship? Did you buy a house? Did you get married? You know what you shouldn't do?

Buy a pet. Oh, yeah. Not that easy. Give that a bit of breathing space. I know because then it's something to deal with. Yeah, yeah. In the inevitable split. You're in the va.

Wait for the moon. Get past the moon. You've got to go over the moon and far away. Or the cow that jumped over the moon. Maybe it worked out. Maybe tattoos. Maybe you just made a really big physical commitment. And yeah, after three weeks, you got their name tattooed on you

and now you're not with them. I don't know. Well, maybe it worked out amazingly. Yeah. 0800 DALS at M. We want to hear your stories. You can text in 9696. No matter how it worked out,

what big move did you make with your partner early on? There's a couple online that were like, should we buy a house together after six months? People are like, I get why you want to do it, but I've also done something like this and it was a disaster. Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork if it goes wrong. Yeah. A lot of admin. Ria, what did you do early on into a relationship? Hey guys, so me and my partner, we started dating in January,

and then three months later, I was pregnant. Ooh. Okay. Yeah, so we had a baby in December. Wait, so in one year, you went from not knowing each other to having a baby together at the end of it? Yeah, and 10 years later, we're still together with children. Wow.

How many more have you had? Didn't you say 15? We've got two with two children. How many more have you had? Didn't you say 15? We've got two together. Yeah. And we bought a house together and stuff too. So yeah, we're dying together, man. Good for you. You've all loved it.

Oh, that's so good, Ria. Thank you. Matt, what did you get into really early on in the relationship? I got married really young. So I was married at 19, my wife 20. But we'd never lived together. So we'd actually, we had never lived together, got married, and then came back from the honeymoon and moved in together.

Oh, wow. That is wild. Was it a religious reason that you'd never lived together? Yeah, it was, yeah. Yeah. We were married to the church and stuff, yeah. But I can tell you, we've been married 22 years now, and it was only the first 21 and a half years of awkwardness

and counselling sessions. It's fine now. Yeah, yeah, good, good, good. You've got to keep pushing, eh? You've got to keep pushing. It works if you work it. I don't know if he's joking or not. I don't know whether to laugh or be like, oh, dude,

do you need to talk? Like, should we sit down? Because when you move in, that's when you really start to hate each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're like, oh, you're here all the time? Fantastic! Where is my space? Yeah.

You don't know you've got to live with each other first. Thank you, Matt. Jessie, what did you jump into early on in a relationship? I was pregnant within, I think, three or four weeks. And we bought a house within three months and a business together. Whoa! And are you still together now? Yes, we have three kids, another business, and yet still married.

Oh, my God, I love that. I mean, it was just meant to be. I mean, I also feel like it's the people that have success stories that are calling, not the people that are like, no one's like, you knocked me out in the nearest room again. Jessie, was it a real crash course in getting to know each other? Oh yeah, absolutely.

Like, we didn't know each other at all and everybody was like, why would you do that? And yeah, it just seemed to work. We just proved them all wrong 15 years later. Thank God you actually liked them. Well, no, she didn't say that. She just said she wanted to prove people wrong.

Oh, yeah. She never said she actually likes this guy. Stubborn. Yeah, stubborn. Stubborn is the word I'm getting. I love it, Jessie. Thank you. Keep your texts coming in.

9696 0800 dials it in. Quite a lot of these stories are making my eyes water a little bit. People are handling situations a lot better than I would. Yeah. But we're hearing it retrospectively. We don't know how it was handled at the time. True. Yeah.

And it's not all happy news on big, bold moves made early in the relationship. Like this one that said, yeah, thank you, Fletch. You gave me a nod there for my solid reset of our phone and topic. Sort of seamlessly working in how we're feeling. People might have just tuned in.

Hayley, I'll give you a little what's happening here. People might have just tuned in and heard that emotive response and immediately because of the emotion, they had the buy-in. But then I needed to do the reset to catch them up on what we're talking about. And I did it.

I did it normally forget. I usually forget. I did it so seriously. Fletch gave me one of those little nods. Brother. Like a Christian Bale Batman. Batman. Nod.

Alfred, nod back. Need to say no more, but we've said a little bit more. Say a little bit more. Nod. I'm happy to let people have a little peek behind the curtain. We're not wearing pants back here. It's not all happy news. Moved to his town and got a rental together under my name after six weeks.

What a shit show. Zero out of ten. Do not recommend. Yeah. Do not recommend. Never put a lease in your name. Do not recommend. Oh, God, no.

Unless you're living by yourself. Always get them to put it in theirs. Oh yeah, because it's their problem when you do a runner. That's a flating 101. Yeah. Bought a house together after three months together. It was a leaky home. I've never been in a more stressful situation and it absolutely blew our

relationship to bits. Yeah. That's the thing. You have to be robust. You rush into a relationship, you rush into buying a home, get your limb report. Even renovations. Like you buy a good solid house, renovations can be hell. Dude.

I haven't found that. I find that really strength in relationships. Yeah, yeah. Please. Hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum. We bought a house together after only six months Pre-remount wasn't necessary because we were both poor We're married now and been together for ten years

After buying a house quite quickly Wow We had a child really quick Fourteen years later, living separately But we do have a child together Yeah That's one you kind of can't shake that, can you? Met in Europe, dated for two weeks

Two months later he flew to New Zealand I flew back to Europe, dated for two weeks. Two months later, he flew to New Zealand. I flew back to Europe to live there six months later. I was 17, he was 22. Now back in New Zealand over 20 years later, married four kids. Oh, that's nice. Wow. Wowza.

Wowzies. Most of them are like happy endings, aren't they? Yeah. Well, so far. I mean, the story's not over. Yeah. People say, oh, we're going to get it five years. It's like far. I mean, the story's not over. Yeah. People say, oh, we're going to get the five years.

It's like, again, you've already just got past moon. We'll prove we're from the wrong five years in. Into the cold, empty, dark, recessive space.

Yeah. And that's where you'll really see if it's meant to last a lot. Okay. So positive. I counted 79 all rights today, Fletcher,

but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those too. Alright, well if you enjoyed today's podcast give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off.