ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th September 2024

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

Rise in green decor trend Vaughan's cooking hack SLP - Do you have designated cars in your relationship Hayley posted a Tig Tog Top 6 ways to instantly satisfy yourself Conan O'Brien It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas Hayley and Vaughan elavator What do you have to sleep with? Hayley caught perving Eye tracking study on dating app Fact of the day What's your neighbourhood eyesore?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six.

Happy Friday. No. Right? No, that's tomorrow, Hayley. Actually, I've had a very enjoyable week and I don't want it to come to an end. Oh, really? Yeah. I've had a nice week.

That's good. So far. We can't say the same, obviously. We're just going to stay quiet on that one. Right. I've got enough joy for all of us. I've had a good week. Do you want it to end?

Well, I don't know. It's just life, isn't it? It just keeps going. You can't make it stop. You can't make it stop, Horne. I it to end? Well, I don't know. It's just life, isn't it? It just keeps going. You can't make it stop. You can't make it stop, Ward. I want to get off. I want to get off. You can't.

Weeks come to an end and another one starts. Silly little poll is soon. Do you have designated cars in your relationship? Yeah. Like you do, right? You've got the Jimny. Yeah. But if we go out together, we'll go in the Hyundai, and often I'll drive.

But sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to drive, you drive. She'll be like, I don't want to drive. That's exactly how she sounds. I love it. I don't want to drive. I don't want to drive. Whereas you've got, Aaron's got the U. Aaron's got the U, and I've got the Maz.

Yep. So. But he would never be like. He'd look too comically. He only drives mine when it's like parked behind him. Okay, yeah. And he would never be like... He'd look too comically... He only drives mine when it's parked behind him. Okay, yeah. And he'll just grab it and go. And then I get into it and I fall back

because he's put the seat back so far. And when I drive the ute, I feel like a little girl. It's so big, I'm like... Look at this big ute. Yeah. Well, that's our silly little poll today. Do you have designated cars in your relationship? Do you know what we also have coming up?

Vaughan's got a hack. Yeah, dude. What? Not a Shannon's hack? Yeah, dude, it's a cooking hack. It's a Vaughan's hack. Oh, okay. It's a cooking hack. Interesting.

Also, it turns out we may not be too satisfied as New Zealanders. There's been a satisfaction level released. Yeah, and we're... I've got some tips. Lulling and satisfaction. So you've got the top six ways to instantly satisfy yourself. Okay, it's coming up in the top six. But next, having, I want to say, nearly completed a renovation, Hayley.

Yeah. It turns out that you're very on trend because there is a colour that has been making a comeback and you are all over this colour. All over it like a ranch, baby. I mean, you do have a lot of colours in your house. A lot of colours, but predominantly one. Also, does this mean that you'll be repainting that because you don't want your house to

look like anybody else's? Yeah, exactly. I like to be different. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, it was long mocked. It was big in the 70s and now adults in their 20s and their 30s are bringing back green coloured bathrooms, avocado coloured bathrooms. I cannot believe it. No, neither can I.

Looking at the coloured sinks, like that's one of the trends that's back is those like green coloured sinks. I love your bathroom. You've just got the green tiles. Green tiles. But you didn't go for a coloured sink or any kind of... No, we were going to, and then we were like, bring it back. Bring it back. Because there was a report a few, like maybe five years ago

in this article I'm reading that said if, in the UK, if you had like a green coloured bathroom that was left over from the 70s, it would knock like $5,000 off your value. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people were just like. That's what I'm just showing you. Yes. The kind of green bathroom, wallpaper.

Yes. Patterned wallpaper. Granddad. Green bathroom. Nana and granddad's house. I can smell the lavender now. The bath, the basin, the sink, everything was green. Yeah.

I'm not a fan of, I just like a traditional white coloured basin. Our vanity is green with a wooden top but then it's got a white basin on top of it. But when we were looking at toilets, because you know we like to do things a little differently. Around here. Aaron found a green toilet.

It was a deep green and I was like we've got to draw the line. That's just too much. And so we'll just go plain white toilet. Right. Common as muck. They surveyed a whole bunch of like people in their 20s and 30s and your green was 25% of people were like, we want a green bathroom.

So it's like done. Well, well, well. It's done a full like comeback from the 70s. Oh, yeah. Although minus the carpet, because a lot of the photos I'm looking at, like, here's a bathroom that, it's not dark green, like a light green,

like an avocado or a... It's avocado mousse. Yeah, avocado mousse. And when the cafe doesn't have avocado, so it uses the cheap mousse. But, like, this bathroom from the 70s has, yeah, blue, like a blue carpet. Well, do you remember when I first started here,

my hunt for the pink sink? That's right. I wanted the pink sink. You wanted a pink sink. That was for a different house, to be fair. But yeah, I wanted like a full pink, like 70s basin. We didn't do it in the end, and thank God, because I ended up selling that house to my parents,

and they would have hated that. You put a green bathroom in, like green toilet, green sink, basin, bath. No one's going to buy that house in 20 years. Well, they will, but they'll rip it right out. So what was the point of putting it in? Yeah, pretty much. Play ZM's Fletch,

Bourne and Hayley. Hayley, do you remember on, was it Monday? I was sitting in the go F yourself corner while some songs were playing and I said to Hayley, I have the need. It wasn't even I want this. It was a need for a chicken stew.

It was a yearning. A yearning. A chicken stew. A primal yearning for chicken stew. We then began to describe the chicken stew to each other. We're on the same page. Yeah, like chunks of chicken thigh because breasts might dry out.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Is it a thick? It's thick, so it's not a soup, but it's real thick. It's thick. Okay, yum.

I'm nodding. It's thick. Yum. It's thick. Okay. It's a thick boy. Two Cs. Wait, so you're cooking hacks about a chicken stew?

Yeah, dude. Wait for it. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude. So I find this recipe for this chicken stew. Yep. And I scroll through a few because I want to find the one that we were describing. It's like classic. Also, like, what are you, like, a mum from the 90s?

Yeah, that's the vibe. That's the vibe. How good's the stew? You're at the tail end of winter for the stew business, I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not eating stews in summer. And this stew recipe that I found was everything I wanted, except it wasn't garlicky enough.

So I just, I always had more and more garlic. Name a single savoury food that isn't better with more garlic. I can't do it. Bread. Garlic bread. You idiot. You idiot. You fool.

I tried yesterday. I tried yesterday to find one savoury. I went all through Asia and Mexican. Everything's better with garlic. Everything. I've yesterday to find one savor. I went all through Asia and Mexican. Everything's better with garlic. Everything. I've done this to a few people. Someone said spag bol. I was like, are you kidding me?

A garlicky spag bol? Shut your stupid mouth. What's your hack then? So it said in this recipe, the later part of the stew, everything goes in. Brown the chicken. Take that out. Put in your aromatics, your celery, your onion.

We've got a bay leaf in there. No. Doing nothing. Bay leaf, taking all the credit for garlic's heavy lifting. Doing absolutely nothing. So then you put the broth in, then you get it boiling, then you reduce it to a simmer for 30 minutes, gives the potatoes a chance to break down.

Then it said at that stage, after the 30 minutes of simmering, if you wanted to thicken it up, you could add heavy cream. I'm not like huge on a heavy cream. Underneath it said, alternatively, add mashed potato. Crazy. And I was like, as a thickener? In a powder form? It's starch.

So it said you can use instant, that instant mashed potato stuff or make some mashed potatoes in the pot next to it and then add it. But I was like, we've got some of that instant mashed potato. I like just put it in the microwave because that's very dry. You might be thinking if you just chomped it straight in, maybe it would make it more

watery. I don't think I've had instant mash. I was so against it when it first showed up at our house. I was like, how lazy are you or I that we need a microwave potato dust for four minutes

with some butter in it rather than boiling them for like ten and then mashing them but it's a game changer it's real quick so I took this instant mashed potato

chucked it in the microwave for a couple of minutes which isn't enough to like fully cook it and then just dumped it all in the stew and stirred it and it sucked up then just dumped it all in the stew and stirred it,

and it sucked up heaps of it. So it went from being quite a liquidy stew. This is a good idea. So this is the hack, is if you've got a watery dish. Don't use cornflour because you end up having to use so much of it, and there is something. Viscousy. Yeah.

I've done that before when I've thickened a curry with cornflour and I just put too much And then it gets that gelatinous You can thicken a gravy With corn flour Because it's so rich At that stage And you want a gravy

To be a little bit jelly like But then what Could you thicken gravy With mashed potato mix Yes You absolutely could See this is a good hack This is five stars

Shannon This is five stars Shannon Are you listening to this hack A review on the hack Shannon I love instant mashed potatoes You win Five stars Like I bow down This is five stars, Shannon. Are you listening to this hack? A review on the hack, Shannon. I love instant mashed potatoes.

You win. Five stars. Like I bow down. I get it now. I think I should shut my mouth a bit more. No. I just think we watch and we learn. I'm learning. It's good.

This is five stars. This is a good hack, Bourne. This is a good hack. Yeah, yeah. So, and even, I said to you, I told Sade what I was doing, but August was playing Fortnite or something. And then when she came out for dinner, she was like, how'd you do that?

How'd you do this? What's up here? What's up with us? What's up with this delicious stew? Okay. What do I, what do I owe you? No stew left? No stew left for us?

There is some stew left for me tonight because they're away. Ryan. It's man stew. It's man stew. It's man stew. But you know what it was missing? Dare I say I'm tiptoeing close to a carb overload. Yeah. Some nice rip apart bread to dip in the stew.

Oh, I do get it. Get a nice loaf of sourdough. For Kasia. No sourdough. What about parbake dinner rolls? Okay. Daddy loves his parbake dinner rolls. I love a dinner roll roll but only at Christmas.

No. Why not every day? Dinner rolls are exclusively for Christmas. Thank you. You buy those par-baked ones and just give them

a little kiss in the oven and they just pop up a little bit. Good food hack from you. Good food hack. Yeah, so if you need to thicken something, mashed potato mix.

Mashed potato mix. Amazing. If you have that powdered stuff that you take camping, you know, we've taken it hiking before. Yeah.

That would be even better, I reckon. Because that's dehydrated. Yeah. And it would just add, it would just suck up the water and be ready in seconds. Sucks it right up. Yum.

You guys should, everybody listening should do it because it ruled. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletchford and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. If you're in a relationship, do you have designated cars? I saw this as a thing on the internet.

A meme. Right. Saying, I just learned my friends don't have designated cars in their relationship. They just take whatever one's easier to access. Oh, God. And that's madness. And I was like, that is madness. Yeah.

I mean, some people don't have two cars. Yeah. They just have the one. I've got friends that just share a car. I was like, oh my God, I couldn't imagine. Wasn't it the average? Don't we have some of the highest car ownerships in the developed world? Yeah.

But that's because we live so far away from things. Well, actually, we live quite close. No, because you don't want to let people build townhouses in your backyard. I really don't. I really don't. But we are the far away. We're the far away. You're the problem. We need a car. But we are the far away. We're the far away. You're the problem.

We need a car. Why am I the problem? Higher. You townies. You townies with your cars. Yeah. I don't have a car. It's you bloody central Aucklanders.

I've got a designated bicycle. It's your Maryvale mums. Yeah, it is. You're right. You're right. Huh? Yeah. Build them up.

Anyway, if you've got more than one car. And then I send it to my mate's group, and my mate Johnny's like, oh, yeah, we don't. We just kind of grab whatever he wants. I'm like, Johnny, that's madness. No, that's madness. And he's like, Sean, his mate, oh, I know Sean as well, him and his partner have identical cars.

Oh, two of the same. And they don't have a designated one. They just literally have the same brand, year, type. No. And they just take whatever one. That's so weird. My car is a very private space. I've got things in there.

I've got things. Secrets. Yeah, and wouldn't you like. I've got a three pack of peanut slabs in the glove box. I got last time I went to Mitre 10. That's for me. I got little treats. And I like to nibble away at them.

Actually, remind me. I do actually have a three pack of almond gold because I'm Do you have almond gold? I'm an almond gold. I've got coconut. I thought I was about to get a roasting, but it's nice to see my brothers on board. Brothers and coconut arms.

That sounded wrong. It did. It came out of my mouth. I was like, I shouldn't have said that. My oos. My oos. If you will accept my apology, Sole. Sole, my oos accepted.

More on the ooses later, by the way. Oh, we have an oos chat. Yeah, we've got a bit of an oos chat. Again, something wrong. But anyway, if you're in a relationship, do you have designated cars? Not as wrong as it sounded yesterday. Yeah, we'll see if we're still on air by the time that rolls around. If you're in a relationship, do you have designated cars? Not as wrong as it sounded yesterday. Yeah, we'll see if we're still on air by the time that rolls around. If you're in a relationship,

do you have designated cars? 88% of people said yes. Yes. 12% do not have designated cars in their relationship. Let's hear from these people that are all over the show. Dan, who we've heard from Dan before,

he's one of our absolute favourite homosexuals. Yes. Not your ultimate favourite homosexual friend though. No, no, no, no, no. I mean like show homosexuals. Yes. Not your ultimate favourite homosexual friend, though. No, no, no, no, no, no. I meant like show homosexual. Oh, right, okay. I've told you, I rank my homosexual friends.

I don't know what's happening with this break. I just hit homo way too hard on homosexual. That's all right. You did, yeah, yeah, you did. Ally. Ally. We'll let it pass. Yes, says Dan, the ones we came in with.

But we're about to go down to one car soon. So then not so. Oh, so you entered the relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You arrived with a car. Yeah. That must be weird, entering a relationship with a car. And then your partner's like, I'll just take the car.

And they're like, that's mine. Okay, they're definitely Volkswagen Polos, right? Or Golfs. Oh my God, that's the image I had in my mind. Yeah, same, same. Nature Polos. Yeah. Lauren, and this is the case with so many people,

tandem parking spaces, so you've just got to drive whatever's at the front. Yeah, that's us. We're park up the bum. No, but you wouldn't take his ute if he was parked behind you to work. You would move it and then take your car. Oh, but we do a little switcheroo the night before to make

sure we're in the right order. Right, yeah. The old switcheroo. Yeah. No, but technically ownership slash insurance says we do have specific cars. Oh, okay. Right. Oh, no, because you can be a secondary driver. You're just not the primary driver. Earl says, yes, only because I have a work

car. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Holy moly, this blew my have a work car. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. That's his car for work. Holy moly, this blew my mind, says Amy. Do people really not have their own cars? I didn't realise this was even a thing. Me neither, Amy. Yeah. Majority of people have their own, like, designated car within the relationship.

We have one car seat. So the baby has a designated car. Yes. There's always a designated baby car. Yeah. When the kids had baby seats, those things are a nightmare to move. Yeah. So you're just like, if I'm going out with the babies, I'm taking the car. There's always a designated baby car. When the kids had baby seats, those things are a nightmare to move. So you're just like, if I'm going out with the babies, I'm taking the car that's got the baby

seat in it. The family car. Sean says she gets the brand new car and I have to drive the old Lancer with 80,000km on it. 80,000 is nothing. On an old Lancer? Oh, it sounds like it's gone back three o'clock. Maybe it's gone full. It hit a mill. It hit's gone back through the clock. Maybe it's gone full. Gone full, right?

A mil. It hit a mil. Started the game. Whoever takes the dogs out gets the old boy wagon, says Erica. Oh, because of yuck dogs. Yeah, because you're going to take the dogs to one car, don't you? Stinky and dirty. Yeah. Erin says, yes, because I can't drive the manual ute.

That's a good way of keeping them separate or something. Aaron used to have manuals and I used to hate it when I had to drive it. Fine, it's this good car. I do burn out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At every stop light. Amy also says... You can't take the Hamilton out of this one.

I'm not driving a stinky old filthy ute. Okay. It might have been a bit of Hamilton there with the burnout, but I think Rangiora over there was also enjoying the facts. Wellington. East one. I'm not driving a stinky old filthy ute. Okay. It might have been a bit of Hamilton there with the burnout but I think Rangiora over there was also enjoying the facts. Wellington.

Eastbourne. No, not really. Eastbourne, Wellington. No, you can't have kids in Eastbourne. I grew up in Eastbourne. You'll end up in the harbour.

You want a nice inland town let like Rangiora and just a big fat intersection. Might have grown up in Eastbourne. I was born in Rangiora. It's true.

Yes, we do have separate cars, says Julie, because my car is clean and tidy and his is an absolute effing dump. Oh, okay. Wow. I feel with Julie, I think you might want to clean your car.

Yeah, you wouldn't. She sounds so happy about the state of things. You wouldn't like Hayley's car. I think I'm growing a pistachio tree in the middle. With fortune. Oh, I know. I don't want to pull it out. My pecan tree is really thrown out some leaves this spring.

Oh, that's good. But is that growing from the centre console of your car? No, not nearly as impressive, is it? Yeah, no, it's not. No, it's not. That's still a little pole. ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. I've got a show.

I'm just going to thumb in a little promo. I've got a show next week in Auckland. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't thumb something. No, I've actually paid. 23 minutes to 7? I've paid NZME thumb in a little promo. I've got a show next week in Auckland. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't thumb something in at 23 minutes to 7. I've paid NZ me. This is paid advertising. Is this one of these seamless client integrations that I hear so much about? Looking for something to do next weekend in Auckland?

Check out Hayley Sproul's show Wild Flutters at Kew Theatre from the 3rd to the 5th of October. It's a naughty, funny show and it's good. 3rd to the 5th of October. It's a naughty, funny show, and it's good. Right. 3rd to the 5th? Yeah. I'd say that's half of the weekend. I would have said next year Thursday.

It's Thursday to Saturday. That's the freaking weekend. Sure. That's the freaking weekend. Anyway. And this is the double show you're doing with Pax. Pax Asadi. Okay.

You really hit Pax. Pax. Anyway, so to promote this, yesterday I put up on Instagram a clip, a small clip from the show that I filmed earlier in the year. Yeah. And it was doing well on Instagram. And I was like, people are really enjoying this.

And I was watching it back being like, it's funny. I accidentally opened it in the middle of a meeting. I know, and my voice came booming out of your phone and then you looked over at me and said, Hayley. That was good from you, Vaughn. Really rude. Anyway, so I posted this video

and I was like, do you know what? This actually feels like the kind of video that would pop off on the old TikTok. Oh. She's back on the TikTok. I had a feeling that this video would pop off on TikTok. I had a feeling that this video would pop off on TikTok.

I got a feeling. Now, you tried to make it on TikTok a long time ago. Yeah, a couple of years ago, I thought, come on, Hayley, get onto the TikTok. Everyone loves it. You can also be part of this. And I did a hair transformation from brown to ginger. You may remember, that's how long ago it was.

And how did that go? It was good, people loved it and then I was like, right, I've got to keep up with this and I even said to Shannon, hey, can you help me? And then I just didn't do any content. I didn't do anything. And then you kind of retired. And I retired from TikTok and people were like, Hayley, Hayley, come back.

Were they? Oh my god, they were loving the hair transformation. Were you hearing the screams? Yeah. No. These requests? No, neither. I only open TikTok when I'm sent a link though. Right. Same. It sits dormant on my phone and I felt it in my soul. It was time to return to TikTok.

So I took the video and I uploaded it to TikTok and I was like, fly away, sweet bird. Off you go. Do you think that's what Mr. Beast thinks when he uploads a video? Fly away, sweet bird. Fly away, sweet bird.

Wait, wait, I didn't get my Mr. Beast thumbnail. Best of luck. No, I chose a good thumbnail. You chose a good thumbnail. Funny short quip of a caption. Okay. And I fly away, sweet bird. Yeah. And I fly away sweet bird. Yeah.

And then so about a couple of hours into the afternoon after posting it, I returned to TikTok. Yeah. To see the explosion. Because, you know, I've been part of things like Girl Math or the Jason Momoa interview or the Taylor Swift song.

You've experienced an explosion. Well, I went on the FEHZM page. One of our videos has nine million views. And I was like, well, come on. Fly away sweet bird. the FEHZM page. One of our videos has 9 million views and I was like, oh, come on. Fly away, sweet bird. Zero views. Zero views.

Dude, not even like, it's not even doing badly. Is that possible? It has not been seen. Can we ask our social media expert, Shannon at the social media desk, what's she done wrong there to get zero views? What have I done, Shannon? Has she published it? Well I think she has

Has she left it in drafts? I know I can confirm it was published Well one thing I always do And this is probably embarrassing to admit Is as soon as I post I go onto another TikTok account And immediately watch it and save it And send it to someone else

To boost the other ones That's playing the system. We're rocking multiple TikToks. Well, because I've got my work, like, Fletch, Jordan, Hayley and then Shannon. So the first person who always likes FVH is Shannon Trim. Oh, okay. So you're trying to game the system. Yeah.

Now, Hayley, could you give us an update? How long has the video been up and what are the views at the moment? Okay, well, I've got to admit something. It was doing so badly. I came back an hour later, it had seven views. And I was like, something's crooked here. So I may have promoted it. I may have chucked some money behind it.

Oh, okay. Because I was like, this deserves more. And so you promoted it. And then how many views did it have? It was like, this deserves more. And so you promoted it. And then how many views did it have? It's like 200 likes. 1,700 views. Like it's really not fly away, sweet bird. It's really not doing what I thought.

I thought, this is how I thought it would go. It didn't fly away. It's like you open the cage and the bird's just like. I love it here. Yeah. More scenes, please. This is what I thought would happen. I'm a comedy producer for the BBC.

I've had such a long day, I might hop onto the TikTok and have a little look. Oh, who's this hilarious New Zealand woman? I must fly her over to be on the BBC. That's what I imagined. That's what you thought was going to happen. Instead, 200 people have been like... Okay, so I guess that ends TikTok for you

then. Well, that's why I'm here working today because the comedy didn't fly away, sweet bird. So this sweet bird has returned to the delicious stability of radio. And here I shall remain. Feel free to go to TikTok and like

my video if you think it's funny. No, that's getting worse. Shannon wants to know how much I paid. I allocated $10. What? Everything about this is so sad. Everything about this is sad. Everything.

She deletes it, re-uploads it. She pays. She likes. This is so sad. This is so embarrassing. Had big dreams. It's so embarrassing. Just give up. Just don't even admit this next time.

Just don't admit it. It's good to be humbled. It's good to be humbled every now and then. We'll just let it slip away into the ether. Don't even worry about it. It's $10. Wow. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Apparently, we're in a happiness recession. Turn on your microphone, you dumb. You dumb, Mike. You dumb idiot. That wasn't me.

That was Fletch silencing women. That does not make me happy. Silencing Maori women in the workplace. This is insanity. I'd very much like to hear from our wahine to. Thank you. So say again. We're in a happiness recession.

Stats New Zealand has released a wellbeing data. People feel less safe than they did in 2021. The trust in institutions such as the health system, education system, parliament, media, police. Oh, media. That's us. Police and courts has declined. I like to think we've been as

untrustworthy in 2021 as we are now. We've always been as untrustworthy. We haven't changed, have we? We've always been untrustworthy. So I wouldn't worry too much about that. I'm not worried. When inflation hit, half of us cut back on fruit and veg, of course. That's not good. That's not going to make you feel

any better, isn't it, if you're eating highly processed stuff, etc,, et cetera. People aged over 15 are reported on average overall life satisfaction of 7.6 out of 10, and it was 7.7 out of 10 in 2021. Okay. With fear of crime, apparently. But we're still like 7 and a bit out of 10 is pretty good. I mean, it's not, you know, we're not living in a war zone and it's not, you know, we're not at a two.

God, no. I mean, we literally just, the three of us did a happy dance in the studio before the mics came on. Yeah. That's a happy and satisfied we are. There was a happy moment. We did a happy dance. We did a happy dance. Well, today's top six.

Satisfaction. Top six ways to satisfy yourself. I've got some tips. You can do all of these today. Great. Number six. I'm going to do all of them. I can, got some tips. You can do all of these today. Great. Number six. I'm going to do all of them. I can, here by pledge,

I will do all of these today. Perfect. Before hearing them all? Yep. I trust my friends so much. Okay. Number six on the list of the top six ways

to instantly satisfy yourself. Nipple stuff. Yep. Great. Can't beat it. Four. Done. Tick.

Okay. Number five on the list of the top six ways to instantly satisfy yourself. Pay $10 to promote a shit TikTok. How dare you? How effing dare you? Do you know what? Tick. Done.

Done already. Done. Did it yesterday. For those that did miss it, Hayley promoted her TikTok video. Because no one watched it. $10. I put $10 behind it. And now no one's watched it and it cost her promoted her TikTok video. Because no one watched it. $10. I put $10 behind it. And now no one's watched it.

And still no one's watched it. Wow. Okay, tick, done. Number three, no, number four on the list of the top six ways to instantly satisfy yourself. Three pack of almond gold. Yeah. We talked about it before, just earlier on the show, and I can't stop thinking about the fact that right now in my glove box.

Oh my God, go down and get them. There's a three pack. Yeah, that's one each. Okay. During the ad break, go down and get a three There's a three pack. Yeah, that's one each. Okay. During the ad break, go down and get a three pack. I'll shoot down and get it. Tick. Yep, done. Make yourself instantly satisfied. Number three on the list of the top six ways to instantly satisfy yourself today.

Open your explore page on Instagram. It's custom made. It's custom made to pump up your serotonin baby. Alright, let's do it. Pump up the jam. Pump it up. Jason Momoa when he was utterly jacked.

Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa. I've got Mu Ding, that little hippopotamus that's in. Oh, yep. Mu Ding, big energy. Mine's just all Jason. I tell you what, it's made me feel extremely satisfied. Well, there you go Satisfied

I got some Superhero stuff in there Tick tick tick And then some other stuff That I don't want to talk about Number two on the list Of the top six ways To instantly satisfy yourself

What else have you got? Okay a lot of Very attractive Ethically ambiguous woman Okay That's fine With curly hair Okay

Great Curly hair Great Number two on the list Of the top six ways To instantly satisfy I would love to know actually With curly hair. Okay? Great. Curly hair. Great. Number two on the list of the top six ways to instantly satisfy yourself. I would love to know, actually. Is there a way to reset it?

Is there a way to reset it? Can we clear the cage? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I do? How do we get this cage cleared? Spend a lot of time Googling Land Rovers again. Land Rovers and Star Wars.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to instantly satisfy yourself. Google your school bully. Oh, see where they are now. I'm not bullied, and that's probably why I'm so satisfied. That means you're being Googled. No.

And they'll Google it and say, oh my God, that TikTok has only got three views. Pathetic. And then they'll feel happy. That'll make them feel better. Yeah. That makes me feel better. And number one of the ways,

top six ways To instantly satisfy yourself Talk to a dog They're always stoked To be talking to Yes And if they're not They're a dud dog

Can I replace dog with cat? No Because cats aren't always Stoked to be talked to No they're not always They'll turn their back And walk away from you But dogs are always like

Hey what's up My tail's starting to go Now my whole body's wagging I'm out of control. I love talking to you. You're a human. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Conan O'Brien is coming to New Zealand. Yeah. For his travel show. Yeah. And I knew this was happening. I knew he had New Zealand in his sights. Here's how. He has a podcast.

He does two episodes a week. One's always an interview with a celebrity. Yeah. Here's how. He has a podcast. He does two episodes a week. One's always an interview with a celebrity. Yep. Great podcast. It is a great podcast. Fantastic podcast. He's had this big resurgence, kind of like a renaissance, right? Yeah.

In the podcast realm. Yeah. Yeah. He started doing the podcast before he finished doing his TV show. Yeah. He did the late night show in America, for those that don't know. For 28 years. He started in, he took over from David Letterman in like 1993.

Previously he'd been a writer on The Simpsons and a writer at Saturday Night Live. And then everyone's like, who's this guy? And then last, he could have kept going as well. But he was like, I'm just going to step back. After doing it for 28 years, I would have pushed for 30. Just a nice round number?

Just for the roundness. 28th round though. Yeah, same. That's one thing I will bring up. 28th round, though. Well, when you're out, you're out, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. So then the podcast is his main outlet now.

So he does one podcast a week talking to a celebrity and the other podcast is Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. And he talks to someone that listens somewhere around the world. And there was like three New Zealanders within Cooey of each other. Because that's the idea of his travel show. He goes and meets someone that he's talked to and then gets shown around by world. And for like, there was like three New Zealanders within Cooey of each other. Because that's the idea of his travel show. He goes and meets someone that he's talked to

and then gets shown around by them. Right. For a bit of a different sort of travel show. I was like, it's happening. I even messaged

one of the women, Yvonne, who was on there talking about Juan. Juan. She does Juan. And I said, he's coming to New Zealand,

isn't he? And she said, I feel like he, but this was a while ago. She's like, I feel like he's got New Zealand in his sights. So I was like, I wonder when it's going to happen. And then I just see that he's going to be here like this weekend, apparently for something to do with that world record haka attempt. Yes, yes. I know, because did you know that the world record haka attempt

is currently owned by the French? I saw this. Disgraceful. Disgraceful. They did it so badly, and the women and the men are all mixed up. I think New Zealand was just like, we better fix this. Yeah. We better fix that. So where are we going to go hunting? This is like the first time

Jason Momoa was in New Zealand, and I was just like trying to hang around downtown Wynyard quarter where I knew where he was staying and what room number yeah and I would like just be lurking about

all the bars down there and then you know trying to run into him yeah where are we going to find Conan throwing yourself in front of every car that came out of the every time I saw a motorcycle

I was like on the road yeah take a little bit of damage so many injuries I don't know if you're going to be that fanatic when it comes to Conan O'Brien Vaughn if he. I don't know if you're going to be that fanatic when it comes to Conan O'Brien, Vaughn.

If he's in Auckland, you know where he's going to be staying. There's only one nice hotel. Yeah, there's one nice hotel. The Bella Vista. The Bella Vista. Yeah, the Bella Vista. It's got sky and a spa. Basic sky.

And Wi-Fi available. Yeah. Wi-Fi is available. You've got to get the code from reception. And you've got to get the key for the hot tub, which is inside a sort of wooden marquee type thing. Yeah, that's got a weird

slimy texture because it never really fully dries out. Yeah. That is definitely where he will be. Yes. Would you like a little blue top milk? No, no, no, no, mini milk. Mini milk. Sippy milk. My kids still love a sippy milk.

Because I'm not really doing much this weekend. I've kept myself available. Mini milks. Sippy milks. Pottles. Sippy milks. My kids still love a sippy milk. Yeah. Because I'm not really doing much this weekend. I've kept myself available. We could go for a little hunty hunt. We could go for a little hunt. That'd be fun. He's my absolute favourite. Oh, that's cute.

What are you going to say to him when you see him? Just hello. Hi. Apparently he takes care of it. Famously he takes care of it. If you stop and talk to him, you're the one that has to be like, hey, I have to get going. Because his assistant and his wife are always like, come on, come it. If you stop and talk to him, you're the one that has to be like, hey, I have to get going because his assistant and his wife are always like,

come on, come on, because he stops and chats with everybody. Has a big yarn. Okay. I think we extend. Officially extend an invitation to partake on the show. Is he here now? I don't know. Well, surely someone would have seen him arriving at the airport.

He's six foot five, six foot, bright red hair. Yeah. Big dude. He's tall, eh? He's six foot five. Bright red hair. Big dude. He's tall. He's tall, yeah. Okay. Well, the hunt is on. Please DM us if you see him. Absolutely. Keep us updated. Text into the studio. Message Vaughn.

Yeah. Let me know if you see him. There's no reports that he's arrived yet. This is your Jason Momoa. Hey, this is my Jason Momoa. I don't think you want to do the things to Conan that I want to do to Jason. I think it's slightly different.

It's slightly different. You know slightly different, but we could adapt. We could adapt. So he's going to be at Eden Park on Sunday. That's the rumour. Yeah. But he must be all over New Zealand if he's doing a travel show.

He must be here for like a week, right? He must check out Queenstown, Tyler. Our darling is simply behind us. He talked to Yvonne, who was in Hawke's Bay. Yeah. And he talked to a guy that lived on the west coast of the South Island, like semi-off-grid. Okay.

Those are the two people from New Zealand. He may not come back if he goes to the west coast. He's got a hot wife. He's done well for himself. Yeah, he's done well for himself. Yeah, good stuff. Okay. Well, yeah, keep us updated. Conan O'Brien and Mound.

Play ZM's Fletch Vornanale. Play ZM. Now, we just mentioned previously the world record Haka attempt. Yeah, I'm on the website hakarecord.co.nz, and you have to book in to be part of it. They want 10,000 people to beat France

who had 4,000. Again, wild that France has the world record for the biggest haka. So the tickets are only $10. And there are concessions for $5. Yeah, but there's like

660 in Ikamore, Shae Fu Alien Weaponry Shepherds all these New Zealand bands and then on that website is a how-to for men and women

on how to do the haka it's Kamati Kamati so it's like the one that we all know it's okay great so if you want to take part in it it's on Sunday at Eden Park in Auckland

oh oh oh ooh it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas oh oh oh oh We are today 89 days, 16 hours, 41 minutes and 22 seconds away from Christmas Do you know yesterday so I was a bit bored, a bit low on the old dopamine and I opened up

I opened up my liquor cabinet, I'll admit. Yeah. And then above that, I saw an alternative to having a drink. Yep. One rogue Christmas cracker that's been there since Christmas. And I just pulled it out and I just gave it to Aaron. Just handed it to him. I said, no tricks.

Don't put your thumb in there. We just held it raw dog. No. You've got to put your thumb in there, otherwise you might have a slipped popper. Nah. I just like raw dogging. No, this would actually be a good silly little poll. Are you allowed to put

your thumb on the cracker thing? No, you've got to. You've got to hold the thing that pops. You clench. Nah, it'll slip. And then you both do it. Nah, it didn't slip.

It cracked beautifully. Oh, I'll tell you the joke. Because I was just like, this is so fun. Why are we waiting at the end of the year it hadn't gone off or anything

no it hadn't expired the gift was a ruler a small ruler I thought you meant the joke like was it no longer appropriate well you never know

Vaughan it was a Puff Daddy joke or something yeah exactly it's not funny no okay so the toy was a little white plastic ruler. Yeah.

Handy. Okay, like a seamstress one. Handy for what? No, no, like a plastic stiff ruler, like 10 centimetres long. Oh, no, that's not right. Who is that handy for? You get the seamstress rulers out of a Christmas tree and they rule. I know, tape measure.

Okay, what do reindeer hang? I took a photo because I know. Take measure. Okay. What do reindeer hang? I took a photo because I wanted to share it with you. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Reindeer balls. This is my Christmas cracker that I cracked on the 25th of September. This is not going to be reindeer balls. What are you talking about?

That's insane. Reindeer ball balls. These are always friendly. These are child friendly, you idiot. Oh, sorry. This is from a Lux kit. Only by Lux. Oh, sorry. This is from a Lux kit. Only by Lux. Oh, Lux.

What do reindeer eat? Carrots. You've got three more seconds. Nah. Hornaments. Wrong. Antlers. They've got antlers, not horns.

Shut up. Reindeers don't have horns. Shut up. Don't ruin Christmas, Dad. Fat check Christmas joke. But you get it. Not hornaments. Not hornaments.

You get it. You get it. Same thing. You get it. You get it. Same thing. And actually, your initial reaction was laughter, Vaughn. Your initial reaction was laughter. My brain was like, stop laughing, you damn fool. That's factually incorrect. I've got antlers.

Okay, antlements. How much? That I like. Yeah, that's good. Now it's not as funny, but it's correct. Let's get into some reports of Christmas popping up in retail and malls and places around the place.

Michaela says places around the place. Let me have that. Just let me have that. Alright, Hornimans, calm down. I'm working with a couple of dopes here. We all suck. I haven't seen anything wrong yet.

You've seen it. Michaela's seen it. I've been trying to get into the You've seen it. Okay, Michaela's seen it. Kia ora, Vaughan. I've been trying to get into the Christmas penetration for years. Decorations. Oh, that's so much better. It's actually just been sent to us by Richard Hells, Auckland City Councillor.

Yeah, thank you, Richard. He's probably on a bus right now listening. He should be mayor on that alone. Yeah, he should be. I'm going to say Richard for mayor. He's on a bus. Oh, that's so easy. He listens to the show iHeartRadio app.

Does he? Any time you want. Yeah, take us anywhere. You don't need to be in your car. Great for numbers there. Take us with you when you go. Great for work. Thank you.

Yeah, that'll help our KPIs. We had a meeting about that yesterday. So if you could all just listen. We're very focused. But don't stop listening on traditional broadcasts. If you could have both going. Oh, yeah, listen everywhere. Just turn it on everywhere you go.

Just walk away from it. If you find a radio that's not on ZM, change it. Yeah, you can put it on mute even. Just have it on. You can mute it, but just have it on. There's a guillotine up

and our three heads are in it, to be honest. I'll be honest. And the only thing that's going to strengthen that rope holding that guillotine from decapitating the show is KPIs.

Yep. And you guys are in charge of those. And your terrible reindeer jokes. Decorations. Decorations. It's good stuff. So much better than your damn joke. I didn't write it.

Richard Hale should be doing three shows at the end of next week in Auckland. Don't point at me. Put your finger down. I didn't write it. Okay, quick. Shut up and let me do my work. The KPIs must be hit. This is what happens

when you invite us to meetings. They said, can you make sure that you're listening and paying attention in this meeting? And we did. Yeah.

And then afterwards they said, do you want anything changed about that? I said, if I can get that windowsill dropped a few inches just so when I'm lying down in that meeting. You can sleep a bit easier.

It was a little bit correct. Maybe take a pillow next time. Yeah, I will actually. That's a great idea. Kia ora morn. I've been trying to get into Christmas penetration for years, but Costco have Christmas out

and the warehouse have their Christmas confectionary out in full swing. I also have it on good authority that Advent calendars should be out this week. Advent calendars have been out for a while. I haven't seen them at the supermarket. Normally they're out at the supermarkets now. But the chocolate will go dusty. You know that dust? No one waits for Christmas, Hayley. No one waits. Posty Plus. It's Christmas. It's now. But the chocolate will go dusty. You know that dust? No one waits for Christmas, Hayley. No one waits.

Posty Plus, it's Christmas. It's September and they've got actually what look to be a fairly good range of Christmas plushies. There's a reindeer one there. The reindeer doesn't have horns or antlers though. I need some new ornaments for my tray.

Maybe Posty Plus is going to hook me up with some decorations. Could do. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Valentine's Christmas shop is being set up on the air bridge between Valentine's and the crossing. Wow. And Christchurch. And Chit Chat.

Christmas Day buffet at the Croydon Lodge. Can you book in? 03-208-9029. Or reading out a phone number. Admin at Croydon Lodge. Can you book in? 03-208-9029. Or reading out a phone number. Admin at Croydon Lodge. Have you been to a Christmas Day buffet at a good pub? No, I've got a family who love me.

So I went to one a couple of years ago. If I didn't, if I was like, I can't make it for family Christmas, I'm going to a buffet and paying $98. My mum and Aunt Ruth. I went in Darkville because my pop didn't have if I was like, I can't make it for family Christmas, I'm going to a buff. I am paying $98. My mum would hate the roof. I went in Dargaville because my pop didn't have a fully cut out Christmas kitchen.

Well, you should have made Christmas dinner for him. I usually do, but this Christmas we went to the Northern Wairoa. How dare you? The Northern Wairoa Hotel in Dargaville for Christmas Day. Bloody good buff. Okay. A Christmas Day buff. At the Northern Wairoa, which my pop painted in the 70s. Still

painted and it's still got his paint job on there. It's beautiful. That's because they did things right back in the day. They filled the paint up with lead. Yeah, I know. And lead lasts. That's right. It does. Not like these modern bloody water-based paints. Oh god, no. Get me some lead. Get me some lead. Get me some lead. And asbestos. Get me

some lead and asbestos. Get me some lead and asbestos. It'll Me some lead and asbestos. It'll last forever and I can't catch fire. So the Christmas Day buffet has been bookings are required. Okay. That's between 12 and 2. Children 6 to 12, $45. Children 0 to 5, pay their age.

So if you've got a three-year-old, you're only paying $3. Yeah, I could figure that out from pay their age. You could just spell it out. I've just never heard of that. I don't know, we've got a couple of dopes before you said... Hang on, hang on. What would a two-year-old have to pay? $2. See, this is why I'm here.

Ask Vaughan if you're confused. I'm confused. What would a four-year-old pay? Yes, you don't know, dum-dum. Two, three. $4. Good. Adults, $98.

Wow. That better be a bloody good buffet for that price. Assorted cream wafers are out. You know, wafer in it. Goo in a tube. Goo in a wafer tube. Goo in a wafer tube. Goo in a wafer tube.

Goo in a wafer tube. Goo in a wafer tube. Yum. Sabrina Carpenter is doing a Netflix Christmas holiday special featuring unexpected duets and comedic guests. What's an unexpected duet? Like Blink-182. Yeah, someone you'd least expect.

Yeah. I think Slipknot's doing an appearance. Yeah. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. Don't embarrass me. It's Christmas. Mother Tracker.

I'm so jolly. Families get well with all that. And Christmas just 89 days away. Oh, we're getting warmer. Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 43%. Oh, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Big Friday energy in the studio today, isn't it? Yeah, and it's sadly only Thursday. Nah, it's all right. I reckon we call it. I reckon at the end of the show, if it's how the week's going to peak, I don't think we'll come back tomorrow. Let's just give a little PSA here

because there's a large fire in Christchurch. It's been raging since 4.30 this morning. Raging? Well, that's how fires rage. Do fires rage? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes against the machine.

And that's a hell of an adjective for a fire, isn't it? It's a raging fire. P-p-p-p-p. It's not p-p-p-p. Stop fighting. The fire's been burning since you said. This is, again, just a great example of the media Hyping things up

Beyond what they need to be A lot of fire engines Are on site And people are just saying if you can stay away They're saying if you can stay away from the area But if you can wrap your eyes around Some of the firemen No, that is not what they're saying.

There's an incensed fire burning. A seething burning happening. No, there's a raffle. I'm happy. Can I enter the conversation? I'm happy with raging. Thank you. Well, it's a raffle fire.

It's at a car workshop in Sydenham. So obviously you'll see the smoke stay clear. Remember when the, what was the Sky City Convention Centre caught on fire? Yeah, we were right next door now. That TV did air come, was pumping us. I had a headache like all day. We had to throw out all of our drink bottles. Do you remember that?

Because we had to evacuate the building and then leave all of our stuff. Well, it's raging. So please take care. Just had a message. Hi, Dad. We listened to's raging. So please take care. Just had a message. Hi, Dad. We listened to the radio in the car from August. I think you've all had too much coffee to drink. Do you think we're a little bit hyper?

She's picking up on it. Wow. There is an energy in the studio. It's brat. Big brat energy. Big brat energy. Say something to embarrass them. Oh, no, it's only August.

What can I say? Oh, okay. Yeah. Drive safe, my Sigma Riz. Drive with some Sigma Riz. Oh, I'm embarrassed. Drive with some Sigma R say? Oh, okay. Yeah, drive safe, my Sigma Riz. Drive with some Sigma Riz. Drive with some Sigma Riz. Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry. Sorry about that, August.

Yeah. Sorry about that. Well, you asked me to. Yeah. Now, yesterday after work, you guys got a special treat. We did get a little treat. We went down in the lift, and when you exit the lift, I turn left to my car because I've got, like,

a sort of D grade car park. Yeah, your D grade staff. Yeah, and then Vaughan goes right to his A grade car park. It's the Smith Street, we're Tony Street and I park. Yeah. The company's big earners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam Wallace is next to you guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's a pity park, to be honest. And Sam gets like sponsored cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're always nice to look at. And I'm like, I keep it everyday, humble man with the chimney on the end there. Yeah.

Tony Street's driving a Lamborghini Contagio, I believe at the moment. A 1980s Lamborghini Contagio. I'm near sort of Stacey Morrison. Me and her, we're tucked in the corners. Well, don't make it sound like we're tucking the brown people down my corner. That's what I came behind you saying. Yeah, the Maori woman tucked over to the left. Well, don't make it sound like we're tucking the brown people down my corner. That's what I can't be honest with.

Yeah, the Maori woman tucked over to the left. Whoa, yeah. Well, the Aryan looking skinhead dude and the blonde woman got a brown back. That's right. Anyway, when we came out of the lift, we were in the central lift. And we came out and there was like a little coned off area

next to the lift to the left. Okay. And when we looked inside, the doors were pried open and there was a man working on it and we got to look inside the lift shaft. I thought he was going to say no. We were like, oh!

We like moved closer towards it. Yeah, and he didn't like, he wasn't like, stay back. This is a dangerous area. I said, can I have a peek down your shaft? Yeah. And he said. He said, absolutely. Yeah a peek down your shaft? And he said, absolutely. Did you see that bag of all the stuff that he'd vacuumed out of the, or swept up out of the bottom of the lift shaft?

Were there any like coins or phones or keys? No, it was just like a ton of basically what goes down your shower hole, except dry. Like it was just like clumps of dust in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw like a couple of shiny wrappers and stuff, but I didn't see any good treasures. At my apartment,

if there's like either a little bit of dust or a thing, I'll like flick it down the hole. Yeah, you can. Somewhat down the shaft. Yeah. Yeah. So at the bottom of the shaft is effectively like an upside down pogo stick

that catches the lift. That catches the lift. If the brakes fail. If the brakes fail. Because I've hit that before. stick that catches the lift. That catches the lift. If the brakes fail. If the brakes fail. Because I've hit that before. I've hit the brake before when I was in a lift and it failed and it went doof on the bottom. And I hit that thing that stops you from actually hitting the concrete.

The pogo. The pogo. But it's like a pneumatic pogo. Like it's a big, huge, like a shock absorber spring that you see in like a truck or a car. Did you ask him if that's what it was? Yeah, we were chatting to him. He said, so this is, he was all up for a chat.

I reckon I could have climbed into his shaft if I had asked. He's probably all alone in his shaft all day with no one to talk to. I know. And you're inside his shaft asking him all about it. I was outside the shaft. Oh, you're not allowed inside. He cleaned his shaft. Okay. The shaft had been pre-cleaned. Okay. Before we had a look. I was outside the shaft. Oh, you were not allowed inside. He cleaned his shaft. Okay.

The shaft had been pre-cleaned. Okay. We missed the cleaning of the shaft. We saw the bag of stuff. So it grips on the side, which I knew because, you know, stop it.

You know, in movies when they fail and it grips and the sparks fly off the side. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said that doesn't happen. Oh, okay.

That's Hollywood. It'll slow you down and then the pogo does the absorbing at the bottom of the. Yeah. So there's lots of like fail safes or like backup systems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you'll be all right. Maybe not from the top floor if it just free fell. Or you'd hit the ground hard.

Yeah. Even with the pogo. I found it really scary. As someone who doesn't like lifts, used to never get in them, I found it really scary to look inside.'t like lifts Used to never get in them I found it really scary To look inside Yeah do you know what What

Because we said to him I was like that was full on And he's like Ever seen underneath an escalator Oh he was like Do you know what's worse Escalators He's like don't

He's like He doesn't do escalators What Mints There's mints There's mints yeah He's like every time he's in a mall And he sees a kid jump on

With like jandals or bare feet He's like I every time he's in a mall And he sees a kid jump on with like jandals or bare feet He's like, I'm out Because there's a high chance someone's losing a toe Have you seen someone fall into them before? There was like a video that went viral Yeah, I've seen that Somebody, Auntie Pat Did you just make up an auntie?

No, my great Auntie Pat Excuse me That sounds like a bullshit Don't laugh at Auntie Pat Marlene was my nan And her sister's name is Patricia. Patricia McElroy. How did Auntie Pat?

Someone kicked, it was in your bloody town. New Plymouth. Center City. Center City. Someone kicked the stop button and she lost her balance and fell. Into it. She fell down it. Auntie Pat.

Auntie Pat. It made her, it ruined, because she was, was No It was like a little while ago But you know Old people's skin Oh yeah So that really made a mess Auntie Pat What are we laughing at?

The fact that I've got An auntie called Pat Patricia was in it all I don't know I don't know Migrate on Pat I saved her from choking once Did you?

Yeah What? It's not funny She was choking on a pea We were half a stick peas At Nana Gaggy's house And you're popping on the pea And you've got a big pot

And you go And you run your fingers down the peas And you pop it in the pot And she was like Oh you know the old rule One pea per pot for Pat. That's what she said. And she went, um, and ate the pee and then laughed and swallowed it and then was like.

And I was a young man and I whacked her on the back. It sounds like life wants her dead. You whacked Pat on the back. Yeah, go pat on the back. You can have her on the back. Patty whack. Go pat her whack. Save her bloody life.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley so a woman has shared on TikTok her little blankie that she has to sleep with she's had it since she was a baby and then she showed a photo of it and it's a feral sort of clump of strings now

and I know people that have these when they're like they've just got like sort of a 10 centimetre rag left of their baby blanket. What do they do? What is about... Hold on to it, play with it, suck it. Could you get a new one that was the same? No, but it's the sentimental value.

But then eventually that ball of nothingness is just going to... Disintegrate. Go on. But I get the sentimental value of this. As a woman who was given a koala bear at age 3 and last night I woke up at 12.41 I thought it was the morning

that's a nice time to wake up and then you've got so many more hours of sleep I was in the middle of a dream about a massive concert and I woke up and I was like and I couldn't get back to sleep and I turned over to find Kwali, my teddy bear who I've had since I was 3 and I couldn't find him and that's why I over to find Kwali, my teddy bear, who I've had since I was three, and I couldn't find

him. And that's why I woke up Aaron. I said, where's Kwali? And he had thrown him off the bed because he's got Velcro on his paws and it scratches Aaron's skin. And then I woke him up from his slumber, he got Kwali and I nestled him and I went straight back to sleep. Wow, okay.

I have to sleep. You should talk to your therapist about that. Yeah, I should bring up Kwali. Wow, okay. I have to sleep. You should talk to your therapist about that. Yeah, I should bring up Kwali. Well, I did mention to my therapist, my dad used to bring me gifts and I'd look out the window and he'd have a Barbie tucked under his arm and I used to be like so excited. So maybe I'll mention Kwali.

Maybe there's a deep trauma there. I don't know. Oh, boo, dad brought you presents. Someone's using, my dad, I looked out the window for my dad and he never came home. You're like, I looked out the window and my daddy had a Barbie tucked under his arm for me. What's used like my dad, I looked out the window for my dad and he never came home. You're like I looked out the window and my daddy had a Barbie tucked under his arm for me. What's wrong with me?

Deep dive on that and tell me why I've got trauma. I think as a woman who has had honestly a perfect life from day dot and continues in that path, I am hunting. I'm hunting for trauma. Not a lot there. Right, okay. Tell us about your father. God, he was great. He continues to be.

Yeah, he's a really good guy. Anyway, we want to know what do you have to sleep with? Because I know tons of people that have this thing. Or maybe it's like, I mean, you guys with your bloody body pillows.

Do you know, I was going to ask you, Mum, because we've got body pillows around the same time and I've had them now for what, three years? And they're linked by Wi-Fi so I say,

goodnight Fletcher and I kiss my body pillow and it vibrates. And it vibrates Fletcher's and then he does the same back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it vibrates. You can whisper into a small microphone, and it comes out the speaker on the other end.

If we go away for work or I'm away, I kind of miss the body pillow. Do you? It is nice. When you wake up in the middle of the night, you roll over, body pillow. Grab it. It's so good.

Chuck it between the legs, arms around it, and roll back. It's perfect. Yes, Fletch, I get it. You's so good. Chuck it between the legs. Arms around it. It's perfect. You've got, yes, Fletch, I get it. You've got a wife to do that to. Chuck it between the legs, roll around and grab it. We've been trialling a sleep divorce this week. Oh, my God. I suggested a sleep divorce to Aaron and he said no.

I go in a tiny single bed. He said it was the saddest thing ever. Wait, you go in a tiny bed? Yeah, I do a tiny single bed. That's sad. Okay. Makes me feel like I'm in the Navy. Ooh. I'm doing me service.

Maybe you need to talk to Hayley's therapist about what that means. Yeah, actually, I'll hook you up with an appointment. I sleep in my daughter's bed with a pink duvet on, and it makes me feel like I'm a Navy boy. What's wrong with me? She's like, okay, I'm going to need to clear my book. I'm going to need to clear the schedule. Tell us about your father. We're going to need to clear my book. I'm going to need to clear the schedule. Tell us about your father.

We're going to need about 10 sessions for this one. I used to look out the window waiting for my father to come home with a Barbie and he never did. He said Barbies were for girls and then he smacked me. I always wanted a Barbie. What's wrong with me? Okay, 0800 DALES at E, we want to take your calls right now. You can text as well, 9696.

What do you have to sleep with? Woman's gone viral for sharing her manky childhood, like baby blanket that she still sleeps with as an adult. Someone texts and I sleep with my foot thingy. It's an old soft scarf that I bought specifically for sleeping with. I hold it with my toes and I can't sleep without it. In your toes? A soft scarf that you like claw with your toes.

No, I don't like things between my toes. Somebody else messaged you and saying their brother sleeps with a rabbit skin at his feet. Oh, what is that about? To rub it or something? But they're so cute. They're the soft rabbit skins. Yeah. But it's like I'm imagining he's-

Even in summer, wouldn't it be hot? I don't know. I don't know. Not here to yuck your rabbit foot thing. Not here to yuck your yummy rabbit fur foot thing. I sleep with my best friend's hoodie. That's cute.

That's cute. Hugging her makes me feel safe. It's the smell. She's been well right. That's nice. Oh, that's nice. We've had a lot of texts

of men can't sleep without a good old cup of the boob. Yeah. And I'll say it is nice. Wait, over? Over?

Not an under? No, you go through. Now, Dr. Shawnee, and I'm sure he won't mind me saying this, when we've stayed at your house before, and we had had a few drinks, and I told him the beauty of spooning a woman and cupping a boob, and after a few more drinks, we stayed at your place, and I said, climb on board.

Is he Gold Star? Climb on board. I don't know. Is he Gold Star? I don't know. No, I think he came out the cloaca. No, Gold Star can come out the cloaca, which I believe is the technical term for the birth canal.

For those that don't know, a Gold Star gay is someone that's never been with a woman. And was Caesarian. No, that's Platinum. Oh, is that a Platinum gay? I'm sorry. I am educating. I know.

Educate us all, please. This is please. This is what I'm here for. Ally, ally. But I will say, and I see... Is he a gold star? Can you do a quick follow-up there? He said he's just messaged, not a gold star.

Not a gold star. So he knows the lure of the... But I invited Dr. Shawnee to feel the joy of falling asleep, holding a boob. Yeah, right. Loved her. Yeah, and that's why his husband now, I believe, is getting boobs. He is getting a set.

Modelled on mine. I've done a plaster cast. Wait, if he's got breasts, he's now got the perfect body. That, because dad ass don't quit. Because dad ass is, couple of quick texts.

Sorry, we're getting distracted. A little distracted here. Sleep without. My dog, it's a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel, sleeps on his pillow, which is above my pillow, and he snores so loud that the neighbours could hear him outside my house.

But if I'm away, I can't sleep without that constant snoring. See, that's a Brad noise. How old is this one? I was given, not the texter, the toy. I was given a teddy bear at birth. I'm now 54. Poor thing is old, full of holes, stuffing falling out, soaked with years of tears.

He's travelled the world with me. He sleeps in bed with me. I take Ted with me when I go away it's ridiculous the comfort I get from him it's not ridiculous I get it

I've got a soul these things you think you'd get buried with Ted right oh someone asked me what I'm going to do with Kweli when I'm young you're like

who will get him no one he's going in the hole with me forever sleeping he's at the mud eye getting a full puruaka Getting a full poroaki. So yesterday we were at the gymnasium and when...

Can I start it? No, you can't. So we finished work but we had to stay around for this KPI meeting. If you've just tuned into the show, please continue to tune into the show. We've got KPIs that need to be hit and the only way we can hit them is with your help. We'll take you on this journey as we try to hit our KPIs.

If you're about to just get the app, you know, get that app, iHeartRadio. We've been promised a jet ski each if we can hit these KPIs. They said subtlety and I reckon that's bullshit. I reckon we just let people know we've got KPIs that need to be hit and you're the only way we can hit them.

Because if somebody's about to get out of their car and go to work but they don't have the radio with them, how can they continue to listen to the show? They do.

Well, they can download the iHeartRadio app and select ZM as their station that they want to listen to. Oh, beautiful. Small delay, but don't let that deter you.

Don't let that deter you because this is still good stuff. And even the podcast as well, the iHeartRadio app, it's all there. It's all there. It's all there. Fantastic. Thank you.

Listen, take us with you where you go. Help us hit the KPI because we get a jet ski at the end of it. And God, we have desperately all wanted one for sale. I don't even have a tow bar. I will sell my jet ski immediately because it's the most embarrassing form of water transport there is. It's truly embarrassing. Actually, yesterday, so we had this KPI meeting we had to go to, and I just went for a run outside. And I ran past some boats for sale.

Oh, yeah. Do you think if our KPIs are hit bad enough, they'll buy me that $1.5 million launch I saw? Was there a boat that was $1.5 million? Dude, there was a boat worth $2.7 million. Boats are expensive. I was kind of surprised. There was one for $750 million, and I found myself saying, that seems like a good deal. In my head just then, I said, that's a bargain.

That's a bargain for a big boat. It's not a bargain. That's insane for a boat. How did that just happen in my brain that I went, I should probably nab that at that price? Yeah. If I was a first home buyer, I'd be seriously considering a home on the water.

Yeah, but then you've got to pay to park a home on the sea. Then you've got to find somewhere to park it, and then you've got to pay. Oh. Yeah. So I get a message to our little group saying... We'll filter them.

Filter the message. Of course they will be. Careful now. Vaughn. Careful, Vaughn. You're just raw-dogging our message group. Oh, Vaughn, don't.

You don't read our messages. You read our messages. I do three things. Which chat are you doing? Which chat are you looking in? It's not the heavily redacted chat. It's...

I do three things. I hit KPIs all day. That's me, baby. They call me the KPI king. That's what they call you. That's, I do three things. I hit KPIs all day. That's me, baby. They call me the KPI king. That's what they call you. That's what the K stands for. Secondly, I'm a vibe hire, through and through. I keep the vibe going. Do you know what I

learnt yesterday about the vibe hire? That the vibes don't always have to be positive. No. The vibes reflect the tribe. Right, okay. I just kind of like the flagpole for the vibe on a whole. The vibes have been good today. Thirdly, I can filter on the tribe. Right, okay. I just kind of like the flagpole for the vibe on a whole. The vibes have been good today. Thirdly, I can filter on the go. Okay.

Okay. I'm nervous. Vaughn. I get this when I'm running. And I forgot my straps. I'm holding my phone while I'm running. What's this one called? This is from Fletch.

And he sends me a photo of one of my beloved. What's this one called? One NZ Warriors. What's this one called? Let's not say names. is from Fletch and he sends me a photo of one of my beloved 1NZ Warriors What's this one called? Let's not say names I think we do because he's a hottie and he's one of my favourites. CHT Chitty

Chanel There's a heap of them. Harris Tevita There's a heap of Warriors at the gym And I said that's CHT. Why? Filter, filter, filter See I told you I'm really. Why? Okay, filter, filter, filter. See, I told you I'm really good at filtering. Filter, filter, filter. Currently downstairs, then this one

is more directed to Hayley. It tags Hayley. Hayley, I'm currently downstairs with a bunch of hot oozes at Les Moores. Now, I won't say who then said yummy, yummy, but someone in this chat said yummy, yummy. Then Hayley said. Fulton harder Fulton harder

Fulton harder I reckon. Okay Hayley says oos my oos what am I doing up here with zero ooses and I said. Because I'm in the women's gym upstairs and Fletch is in the everyone gym downstairs. And the one New Zealand Warriors aren't allowed

upstairs. No. Despite the woman at the upstairs gym inviting them personally. Being like Zealand Warriors aren't allowed upstairs. No. Despite the woman at the upstairs gym inviting them personally. Being like, no, my height in my upstairs, please. And I said, the good thing about CHT, he took a year off. Yeah. He was a painter. He did some poetry. And he's a well-balanced individual.

He's like, it's too much. And then he came back and he played a hell of a season for the Warriors. Right. And Fletch said, that's actually beautiful. So I am upstairs and boy oh boy, they would have heard my thunderous footsteps as I threw my dumbbells aside.

I was like, come on down, Hayley. Down I run and I see Fletch and I say, where are we going? And he says, come with me. And we literally travel to another part of the gym looking for them and we walk into this another part of the gym looking for them. And we walk into this other sort of group area. No sign.

No sign whatsoever. You missed them. Then we hear, what's that in the background? Oof, oof, oof, oof, oof, oof. It was a bit of a huss, huss, huss. It was a bit of a huss, huss. And then I was like, what is that? They're in the boxing gym.

Oh. So we travel to the boxing gym where we pretend that we are. Boxing. Resting. Oh. And. See, I've seen flesh punch, limp wristed. I don't do boxing.

Maybe I don't have the wrists for it. No, no, no. Oh. But we want to make it look like we're considering, oh, I've never done this class before. I'll just have a little look to see if this would be of interest to me. I wasn't. I was just sitting down.

And this is when Hayley decides she's going to get up and, like, have a good close look. Like, I literally stand. Can I say this is shaping up for a great season next season. The NRL's not even finished and the Warriors are still in training for next year. I'm going to say, I don't really care about the game. Oh, come on. So Hayley wanders over to have an up-close perv at the rugby league players, and that's when I have to yell out to Hayley,

Hayley, your torch is on on your phone. I'm literally shining a torch at them. A beacon of sorts. I wasn't videoing them, but I had my phone like this as I was looking, mouth hanging open. Yeah, to use sort of an analogy, you're sort of like a lighthouse, and if they get too close to you, they're going to end up on the rocks. Yeah, to use sort of an analogy, you're sort of like a lighthouse

and if they get too close to you, they're going to end up on the rocks. Yeah, probably. I'd say more of a pest. And I was like, and you were so embarrassed. I went like this and I turned around to look at Fletch

and be like, my God, are you seeing what I'm seeing? When he sees my glowing beacon of shame from my phone, I literally like threw my phone and like fell to the ground and curled up in the fetal position. I was so embarrassed.

I couldn't handle it. We had to roll away. Had to leave. What did they make of all this? They were too busy punching the bags, thank God. That's what I like to see my boys ahead of the season. Concentrating on the game, even when a fine damsel throws herself

on the ground in front of them. I know. They paid me no attention. I think this as well. They actually didn't notice. They actually didn't notice, Hayley. That's good. And the torch. Yeah.

Which is probably for the best. Probably for the best. Because otherwise you'll get banned from the gym. It means you still stand a chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Yeah. It's changed my whole approach to the gym, though.

I'm coming out of the kitchen, so to speak. I'm coming down from the women's gym. Oh, okay. Because there's something I forgot to say to you. I wouldn't have called it a kitchen because I'm coming out of the kitchen, so to speak. I'm coming down from the women's gym. Oh, okay. I wouldn't have called it a kitchen because I'm a bit of an ally. Oh, that's alright. I'm not. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey.

Play ZM. It's time for Fact of the Day. Day, day day day day day it's streak week at fact of the day we're talking about unbelievably long streaks we've had gambling we've had other things that I can't remember because it's Thursday. Literally. And today. Three other days for you to remember

they're born. Yep. That's all a blur. Today we're doing sports winning streak. We did Jeopardy streak yesterday. That's right. Sports winning streaks. Okay. The record holder for winning 555 professional games in a row

Holy Belongs to a Pakistani squash player called Jungahir Khan Who won the world open six times And between the years 1981 and 1986 Won 555 games in a row And it is recognised as the longest winning streak by any athlete In top level professional sports by the Guinness World Records. He's a good squash player. Now, who were the

opponents though? Were they, I mean it was obviously good because he was winning the world champ. He was, yeah. But was he inviting like, you know, just some, you know randoms in for a game? Like people trying it for the first time. Yeah. To keep a streak open? Or was it, were all of those games

all 500 or whatever, professional games? Oh, wow. Not like Wickingham. Officially recognised ranking games by the World Squash Organisation. Oh, crap. Squash always scares me because you hear those stories about people getting their eyeballs sucked out by the ball. My dad was a squash player and he had his front teeth knocked out.

Now he's got fake ones. Does your dad play pickleball? No, squash and tennis. Okay, but he looks down on the pickleball players, do you think? He goes like this. On the pickleball. I feel like pickleball would be up his alley. You reckon?

Yeah. Maybe in his old age. What are you, he's over 60 now. 63. I think it's a bit slower, a bit easier on the body than the old squash. Well, he's not slowing down. He's only speeding up. Yeah, okay.

Well, good. Thank you. I don't know how to sell pickleball to your dad anymore. He doesn't need it. He's got squash and tennis. He's got the real thing. Well, what's the faster version? If he's speeding up, I don't know.

What's the faster version? Squash seems like ping pong? Yeah, they don't call it ping pong. Table tennis. Table tennis. But squash seems to be the fastest of the racket sport. Badminton's quick. It's the shuttlecock that lets them down.

Yeah, because they're like, and it's a big, and they'll lunge all the way over, and then just like whip quick with the racket, and then the shuttlecock's like, Yeah, I don't like that it goes, Get to it, shuttlecock. Go faster. You've got too much lag.

Here's some honours and awards from this fellow. Okay. At age 17, he was the youngest winner of the World Open, but an Australian Jeff Hunt in the final. What a great Australian. I know that is. Jeff Hunt. He, in 1984, featured at the age of 21

on the Government of Pakistan-issued postage stamp, a high honour for a 21-year-old squash player. He won a bunch of awards. Time magazine named him as one of Asia's largest heroes of the last 60 years in 2005. Sort of like revolutionised squash as a sport played in Pakistan. If you ended up on Time magazine's cover, what would it be for, Hayley? Oh, I don't know.

Probably funniest, hottest woman in the world. So that laughter was a little hard for that. Time's most delusional. No. 2024. Time's hottest and funniest. They don't often go hand in hand. Time's most delusional. No. 2024. Time's hottest and funniest. They don't often go hand in hand. Time's most delusional woman.

Time's funniest and hottest. We have the world's 100th most delusional woman. Time's hottest and funniest young woman. Coming in at number 99 is the woman on Ozempic that thinks no one noticed. Beating her to the top spot is Hayley Sproul. Funniest and hottest young woman of 2024. Apparently illiterate as well.

So today's fact of the day is the longest recognised sports streak by a top level professional athlete belongs to Jahingir Khan, a Pakistani squash player

who won 555 games in a row. Yeah, that's weird because when you first said his name you said it completely different. Did I though? Yeah, you did. You've done two pronunciations there.

Which one is it, Colin? Jahangir Khan. That's a third option. Here's a third option for you. Jahangir. Canaporn. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley.

Something popped up not too far from my house. I saw this on the community page. Some guy's like, what the hell is this? What's going on? This thing's going to blow everywhere. Next time there's a decent storm out our way. Somebody's built multiple hundred metre long fence. Yeah.

Out of scraps. Like there's a bit of corrugated tin. There's some free plywood. No, because everything's got to look the same. No. You see a gang pad fence and you're like, sure, it might be 15 foot high

and have, you know, barbed wire fence around the top. But it's all the same. But it's one continuous material, isn't it? It's a quality build because it's got to be structural at that height.

Otherwise, it will just flop over. And those cast iron spikes and barbed wire are just beautiful. I like it. Castles used to have them and no one batted an island. Yeah.

Now, we don't do them enough. I'm thinking of doing it on our house. You showed us photos of this fence. And it is. It's got a whole video. It's like there's a red bit and then a white bit and then a green bit. And then it's all over the show. And different heights.

Yeah. And even the structural, like the bit that's in the ground, the post, that doesn't look like. Do you know what it looks like? It's like a doomsday prepper has sectioned off their fence for the end of the world. It's not going to stop zombies. No. That fence, the zombies are going to walk up and be like.

No, but it felt like a last ditch attempt to keep them out. Yeah, to keep the zombies out. Like, quick, we've got to build a fence. The zombies are coming. It's the end of the world. It looks like that kind of fence. Everyone's talking about the local eyesore. Yeah.

That's popping off. On the community page. Everyone's like, my God. And even just on school pick up yesterday, someone's like, did you see them? Oh, really? Are they going to paint? Like if you spray it all black?

The paint's not going to do anything. I know, but. It's like when you're a kid and you're like, Dad, I'm going to build a fort. Yeah. And Dad's like, well, there's nothing to build a fort out of. You're like, I'll find something. And then you just go around getting scraps and you build a fort. And then your dad's like, there's nothing to build a fort out of. You're like I'll find something and then you just go around getting scraps

and you build a fort and then your dad's like oh my god. This is why like a lot of subdivisions or like apartments, buildings all have rules about what you can like do on your balcony. Totally. Because some people might decorate their balcony with trellis and it just looks like awful. Neon lights and all sorts. Yeah.

Well I just love to talk about neighbourhood eyesores. Everyone's got one. Someone's always working on a boat. You know, I remember growing up but nowhere near the sea. I remember growing up in New Plymouth because I used to do the paper run in the junk mail and there was a few blocks from our house, there was someone that always had a boat on the front lawn. It was on like wooden stilts. Yeah. And it was there forever.

Yeah. We've got one around the corner from us and it's like 20 cars on a lawn. And you're like, get to work on them if we're working on them, guys. Pick one. Pick one and start. And when that one's done,

don't you get another one until you've done another 19. That one doesn't even have wheels. Where's that going? It's not going anywhere. It doesn't even have wheels. But then also like people's houses, they can do what they want. Yeah, man. You can do whatever you want.

That's the irony of this. Some of the people that are commenting about the fence had the look of someone that would also tell the council to piss off and mind their own business because it's my property and I want to do what I want. Yeah, yeah. That's sort of the irony of that wasn't last on me. So you want to take some calls this morning. Reporting your neighbourhood eyesores. Just those things. Maybe they're mismatched.

Badly painted houses. Maybe they're just, yeah, it's an eyesore and every time you see it, it really bugs you. What are those things in your neighbourhood? 0800 dials at Amazon number. Give us a call now. Text through 9696. What's your neighbourhood eyesore?

Give us a call. Talking about your neighbourhood eyesores. There's a call. Talk about your neighbourhood eyesores. There's a new fence in my neighbourhood and everybody's talking about it. And it's funny just to see people line up about it. We had a message in about a Mr. Blobby house. Yeah. There are actually quite a few people that have painted their house like Mr. Blobby colours. The pink with the yellow polka dots.

Yes. Somebody sent back in their hometown in England, Cheltenham. Lots of beautiful Victorian houses, lots of house-proud people. One man painted the whole side of the end of his terrace house with a giant picture of Mr. Blobby. The outrage was palpable from the residents, but I thought it was hilarious. Oh, my God.

Someone texted, my mum collects wind chimes. Now that would be more of an air sore. You know when you hear those wind chimes. It would be an ice or two. It just would not stop. Yeah. When is an appropriate time for wind chimes? Never.

In a Thai jungle? Yeah. In a Balinese little cafe or something. Bali massage. Oh yeah, I love a massage in New Era. You're a bamboo chimer. Yeah, because I like the deeper tone than the chimes that we would have in an orchestra.

It's too high for me. Too tinny. No wind chimes. Leave them in the 90s. What about a metal chime with a wooden donger? Oh, we love a wooden donger. The wooden donger's a bit deeper. I'll go wooden donger.

More than the high pitched. The wind's getting up. God, bit of a storm coming. God, wind. God, I hate wind chimes so much. I hate wind. I love that someone texted in, speaking of the teddies during COVID.

I used to work in the police. We received multiple complaints about a teddy that someone had put outside their house on the second story window. Unfortunately, it had fallen and the teddy looked like it was hanging by a noose. Oh, no. Poor teddy. I'm actually at pitchperfectchimes.com where you answer a series of questions and then they'll design you the perfect chimes for you. Get out of here. Is it metal with a metal donger?

Is it bamboo with a metal donger? Is it bamboo with a metal donger? Oh, God. Is it wooden donger? Yep. All your options are there. Are you going to play us some sounds? No, I was just looking where to order them rather than. I googled metal chimes versus wooden chimes.

And now I'll click on videos. Just walk everybody through the process. Metal and bamboo wind chimes, all things spring. I think I'm metal. I think I'm metal wind chimes. That's a guitar, love. What you're playing there, that's a guitar. Yeah, plug in your intro.

What's the intro? That feels like royalty-free music. I'm going to sit out in the backyard and listen to the wind chimes. I've got one at my Michael's store. Okay. Oh, she's making her own. I don't need a DIY. I'm happy to buy one. I want to get to the bit where she plays it. Yeah, well need a DIY. I'm here to buy one.

I want to get to the bit where she plays it. Yeah, well, that's what I'm going to. She's putting beads on it. Beads? Straight up the ghastliest looking wind chime and it doesn't even make any sound. Shut up. Get out.

What's the difference? Wind chime versus mark tree? I've got a video here, Peaceful Wind Chimes, Nine Hours of Relaxing Wind Chimes. Okay, what wind chimes? So I've always been a fan of wind chimes. Stop playing this.

He's got a bamboo chime. Hang on. Don't turn me down. I got it. Wrong chord. I got you. I got you your damn wind chimes, son. Go.

That's Hayley's wind chimes. That's Hayley's. I like that one. That's... But we've also got tones in the back. That's metal hangers with a wooden donger, right? Well, what have you got? Metal wooden donger. I like that one. We've also got tones in the back. Metal hangers with a wooden donger, right? What have you got?

Metal wooden donger. Sorry, that was a bit of a raw cut-off from me. Bamboo chimes. Bom-ba-ba-ba-ba-doo chimes. No, that's not what I was... I thought you said you had some... I did, I was a guy sitting there. Back to me, the sounds of four wind chimes. So this is metal.

That's too much. This is four wind chimes. So this is metal. That's too much. This is four wind chimes on the go at once. How do you sleep? How do you sleep? I've got wood on, I've got wood on, I've got bamboo wood

on wood donger. Very Balinese. Yeah, I don't know if I like that. Also, the wind's not doing the work there. I can see someone's hand at the bottom doing that thing that you always got told off for doing when your parents had wind chimes and you grabbed the thing underneath and shaped the donger.

Yeah, yeah. Do you know, you can just go back to me now. Okay, sorry. Because I've got quite a unique, a unique, these are metal chimes inside a wooden case. Oh. That's quite nice, isn't it?

That's beautiful. All day, though? All day? All day, every day, every waking minute of the day, every sleeping hour of the night. I think as a nation, I think we leave the wind chimes back in the 90s where everyone had a wind chime.

Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that.

We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't.

Don't bother. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.