ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 27th July 2023

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

AI for Adults  Top 6: Pass as a Kid  Fest-goers don't wash their hands  V!  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletchvaughn and Hayley. It's three minutes past six. Breaking news. Sinead O'Connor's dead. Yeah.

When I say breaking news, it's 24 minutes ago. 24 minutes ago, yeah, 56. Very sad. She's lived a wild, sad life. Yes, she has. Is her name Shuhada Sadaqua? She changed it. She changed it, yeah.

Because she converted to another religion. Oh, yes, that's right. I did know that. She did, and part of it was the name change. Yeah, there's a photo of her in a hijab sucking on a durry. I'm not quite sure what religion that is. It's a wildlife.

She had a wild... Very sad, very sad. That is, yeah. Great singer. Do you want to start the show on a down bus? That was a real downer start, wasn't it? How are you guys? Good.

I've got a full body rash. I've got an ingrown toenail. Oh, God. That I don't quite have the flexibility to get a good eye on to have a dig around with a sharp knife. I was wondering if you would Frank Reynolds' toenail for me. I'll do that for you, bro. Because I know you've dug around in an ingrown before.

I'm trying to turn up as a friend this week. Right, okay. I thumbed your oats down the sink because you abandoned your oats and just ditched a bowl of oats in the sink and I went into the kitchen and I thumbed them down the drain for you. I appreciate you doing that for me. And I will unfurl your toenail. Aren't you meant to go to a doctor for that?

Yeah. Who's got the time, who's got the money? Exactly. Yeah, fair call. Doctors are like $80 now. I got an email from my doctor. It's now gone up. It went up like six or seven. It's like $80 now. I got an email from my doctor. It's now gone up. It went up like six or seven. It's like $88. Do you guys pay that much as well?

Mine's in the late 60s for sure. Why? Well, my doctor, you know, those crystals aren't free. And so I do like to leave a donation. Always in cash. Yeah. Never feel cash. Yeah.

Man, the price of rose quartz, eh? It's gone through the roof. Yeah. But your health, though, you have never been healthier. Since my saging, I have. Because I noticed like a couple of weeks ago, your aura was yellow and now it's like really purple. Yeah. It is.

Is that a good one? Oh, yeah, it's really good. Purple's the best one, eh? Purple's the best one, yeah. Is it? Also going up, news at Auckland Zoo raising their prices. Yeah. So I think locals now are going to pay what international visitors would pay.

Whereas they didn't used to. Yeah. Or get some better animals. Take along your unwanted pets. As food. Straight in. Oh, right. Do you remember that's been a fact of the day?

We've talked about it a couple of times on the show. And every time I think about a zoo now, it's my first thought. The London Zoo's admission used to be cats. That's right. And you just walk in and you chuck them in and the lions would eat them. Not like in the 90s. This was like way back. Yeah, when they called it a menagerie, not a zoological.

What? Like stray cats? Stray cats or dogs. Because it was a two-pronged solution to get rid of all the strays that were problematic. Sad, eh? But also to feed the animals at the zoo.

But Auckland Zoo's not doing that. Oh, by the way, I was stuck behind an Auckland Zoo sunwritten vehicle the other day doing 80 kilometres on the open road. Now, I know I drive slow. You drive slow. But even I was like,

come on, champ. Yeah, but there might have been a lemur in the back. You don't want to frighten the lemurs. You can't frighten the open road. Now, I know I drive slow. You drive slow. But even I was like, come on, champ. Yeah, but there might have been a lemur in the back. You don't want to frighten the lemurs. You can't frighten the lemur. Lemurs are the mothers of primates. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Slow down, slow down, slow down. This corner, this is a sharp corner. Well, the top six are dealing with the Auckland Zoo price, right? Yeah, because child prices are still cheaper, so the top six ways to pass as a child to get into Auckland Zoo. God, it might be a bit past it for us.

I'm looking forward to hearing it. Also, today on the show, your last chance, because tomorrow, Brianne Clint will be doing the draw to be expense-free for the rest of 23. So today, we'll give you a couple of chances. One is coming up before seven. Listen out for the activator. Be the first caller through.

And thanks to One Roof Property, you are in the draw to be expense-free for the rest of 23. Next on the show, university. I went. I didn't. I actually told my children that you didn't go to university last night. We were talking about what you do after high school. Yeah. And they were like, oh, you've got to go to university to get a good job.

I was like, you don't actually. It depends what you're going to do. I was like, I went to like a three-year course and Fletch did it and then he's got some job. I did course. You did course. You did a short course. I did course. Yeah.

Oh, by the way, my hair does need a trim if you don't mind. You've got your scissors. You could do that afterwards. You could do it with a... You need a sharp knife and scissors. They're in the back of my RAV4. They're in the back of my RAV4 thing. We'll go forever. I'll pop down, grab them, and give you a trim.

Thank you. But it's not good news about university passing rates. Now, when you go to school and you don't pass your exams, you're like, damn. On with life. Now, when you go to university and you don't pass your exams, you're like, oh, my God, I've just flushed $15,000 down the boggeroo. Now I've got to stay longer.

Yeah, but then do you stay? Also, look, I'll be honest with you. Where I went to tertiary education didn't exactly ring hard of university- level vibes. No, no. How much of it is exams versus like projects throughout the year and is every course different? I don't know.

We didn't have exams. You know, like ours was all like shows. If I might speak freely, yours doesn't exactly ring hard of university vibes either. I have a Bachelor of Arts of the performing variety. I have a Bachelor of Communications of the radio variety. And you have a Bachelor...

I've got a course certificate. You're a Bachelor. You've got a cert. He's got a Bachelor pad of the poontang variety. Oh my God, so much poontang in that pad. It's a huge student loan with that.

Yeah. What, with poontang? Yeah, it's called a mortgage. We got a bachelor's degree. You got a bachelor's pad. Yours was a far better investment. But apparently in 2020, we won't grow up, 2020, the pass rates for course completion at universities was 89%.

Nice. I'm just working out how an 89 would go. One's on their back and quite curvy. Right. And one's on their side. Nice. Nice. To 86% last year,

which is the lowest recorded completion rate since 2014. Now, do you think it's because people went back to uni when the panty happened and they were like, okay, this is actually real hard? Yeah, and also like, I don't know, I've lost my passion for this. But also there was that when they talked about universities losing money earlier in the week, they talked about how the international students were gone and how many people just signed up for a one-year addition to their degree over the pandemic. So so many people were like, I kind of can't go overseas.

I'm kind of working from home. I might do uni by correspondence and get a master's or chuck on a teaching degree or something, just give myself some options. And then do you reckon that's probably those people just failed? Knew how it worked. No, they did it, but they did it in a year. Right. So the pass rate jumped and then it slumped back down.

But still 86%, it's not bad. Nah. A few disappointed parents in there. Pretty the brainy students. We're missing the brainy overseas students. Yeah. They're the ones that kind of lifted it up. The key to avoiding disappointing your parents, I've got two points.

One, never let them find out you failed. Why would you tell them? Don't tell them. Why would you tell them? You're an adult now. Don't tell them. Just tell them that you've moved on. Or secondly, what I did, and it was a long game,

I set the bar very low for myself. Yeah, that's nice. Pretty much from high school on, they expected very little of me. If I stayed out of jail. Didn't get someone pregnant. Yeah. Or didn't get stabbed in an altercation, they were just like, well, at least he didn't get stabbed that time he was

getting that woman pregnant in jail. God, the trifecta. Really low bar there. Really low bar. An achievable low bar. Allow me to tread lightly. Really low bar. An achievable low bar. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Allow me to tread lightly. Allow me to wander and tiptoe through this next story as a broadcasting professional.

Because the world of AI, which has become very intelligent, can do basically anything you want it to do. It could make you have a panda on your head and send it off to your friends and be like, remember that time I had a panda on my head? And everyone would be like, whoa, you're so cool and interesting. But the panda's eyes and fingers aren't quite right. It's fur glows.

Speaking of AI, did you see that influencer that's got like 100,000 followers and everyone's following her and she's just fake. She's not real. She's not real. And she's posting like she's a real person and everyone's like, yeah, hot. I read that,

like, ew. I read that AI is also, allow me to tread lightly, please, rocketing up the charts in adult category. Oh, right.

Okay. In video form. I don't like, see there's lots. But for, what are they not, I was going to say porn stars, but what are they called? Adult entertainers. In video form. I don't like, see there's lots. But for, what are they not? I was going to say porn stars, but what are they called? Adult.

Adult entertainers. Entertainers. Adult film stars. They're going to be out of a job. Well, yeah. Who would have thought? You would have thought they would have been safe. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a profession. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, speaking of sexy, sexy AI, this is a new AI adult fun toy. Okay. Quite involved. What it is, it is a new AI adult fun toy. Okay. Quite involved.

What it is, it's a helmet that you put on. Now, this is more so far for the owners of the phallic willy. But I can say already the helmet's not going to fit on my head. Big head? Whenever anybody says helmet's my trigger word. Yeah, like Not for me Because when we go to the 63 centimetre circumference head

Do you? Yeah and it's Slightly oddly shaped You wait till we go to the luge I think I'm like 54 You wait till we go to the luge together He's rocking He's got no helmet

He has to get the big helmet Oh yeah But it still sits Sort of on Yeah dude Like Mario Yeah Mushrio

Mushrio Toad Toad off Mario Kart So this is You know what I appreciate you trying to On? Yeah, like Mario. Mushrio. Mushrio. Toad. Toad of Mario Kart. You know what? I appreciate you trying to make a video game reference. I tried. I tried your best for you. We are trying to be more inclusive in this show of losers.

Everybody. Anyway, so, so sorry. You're not a loser. I know. So this, they call it a dead little device. You pop on a helmet, an EEG headset, which measures the electrical activity of the brain. Then, I can't even say the name of this device.

The auto something. Yeah. Another part of it is fastened to the user's genitals. Yeah. And then connected to the Wi-Fi. Now, if you don't know your password, you want to get that written down early. So it's capital, capital T, now lowercase.

Also, do this close to the router. If you've got, like, if you're on the other side of the house. Oh, no. I'd put privacy ahead of, like, three bars. Okay, right. Who's watching YouTube? I'm trying to watch something on TV and someone's using all the bandwidth.

Yeah. So then the headset measures the brainwave. So basically you imagine what you want to experience. No way. And the device on the genies speeds up or slows down based on what you're thinking. This is a feminist trap to remove the stuff out of penises. Everyone's going to be rushing out to try this. And it's all going to, at once, there's going to be a system reboot and it's going to lop off our willies.

So you're getting vision like goggles. You're wearing a headset. No, no, no. You're just imagining. You're wearing a headset. No, no, no. You're just imagining. You're using your mind. Because that would be the next step in that, right? They give you a VR headset and then you get the images. You're seeing it and feeling it.

And it's all from your brain waves. I thought that existed. No. The VR headset thing existed. You could probably watch something sexy. Yeah, you could watch it. But this is scanning your brain waves and then coming up with what you like. So another way that you can use this device

is I could wear the helmet, you could wear the device. Oh, okay. And I could think my way into a nice time for you. And then I'm imagining Jason Momoa. You do lack imagination, Fletch. Why do you keep thinking of Jason? Stop it. Change the image.

Change the image. This is nice, though, because you guys have had Satisfyer Pro 2s for years. Oh, my God, I know. And it's like, what's the next thing? Yeah, and we've just been over here. Didn't they try and make the next Satisfyer Pro? Yeah.

But everyone was like, oh, you kind of, you kind of. It was the three and try too hard. Sometimes simple. Less is more. Keep it simple, stupid. Keep it simple, stupid. Yeah. Play it.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So a woman's TikTok hack to make perfectly round cookies has gone viral. And that's what sparked this online debate. So this is when you make cookies, you cut them round. They go in the oven. You bake them for I don't know whatever it is

10-20 minutes when they come out as soon as they come out you use like like an empty container or a cup and just use the roundness of the container

or the cup to kind of put the cookie back in shape you jiggle it around yeah because it's still I guess it's still like pliable

mouldable especially if you've done the hack of refrigerating the balls. Yes. You've got to get the balls of dough, plonk on the tray, refrigerate it, and that's what makes them like Mrs Higgins, you know, that like chewy, crackled kind of thing. Refrigeration.

And then they're kind of soft when they come in. You go blah, blah, blah with the ring. Yes. Do you fork them down after they've been refrigerated? Nah. They just kind of like... Let them sploosh out. And then you use the cup or bowl to go... Yeah.

But then people are like, hang on a second. No. Imperfect like... cookies are the best. What makes them feel way more homemade. Yeah. You know when you make cookies and they kind of all just mould into one on the tray because you made giant ones? One big cookie.

Yeah. Now you've got one big cookie and you just rip off bits. And you kind of have to cut little, kind of cut them into the... And it squares. Yeah. Those are the best though. I like, that's the kind of cookie I like as opposed to like a thick, crunchy. Well, you people have been on Twitter or whatever it's called now, X.

I don't know what's happening there. Yeah, I know. I can't even get into it. That man's insane. And on TikTok, people are just quite passionate about this debate. I would go imperfect because there's nothing like a homemade cookie. Yeah. And the moment they're perfect, we might as well get a bag of farm bag.

Yeah. Oh, God, how good's a bag of farm bag, though? Not better than a homemade cookie. No, I know, but if you had to. I do a great caramilk cookie, and when I say I, there's a recipe online. Yeah, but I've seen you make these before. I've never tried one.

They don't normally make it into work. They don't, not a single one. Because you have one when they come out of the oven, you're like, yum, and then you have another. Most batches make 24. Yeah. Yeah, what's happened? I don't. Because you have one when they come out of the oven. You're like, yum, and then you have another. Most batches make 24. Yeah. Yeah. What's happened?

I don't know. It's so wild that you can even bring in, like, two. I mean, I can try. Yeah. And then you always, like, when you talk about the cookies and then there are no cookies, I always find you in the toilet and you're screaming at yourself in the mirror, why do you always do this? Why do you always do this?

Why, how do you eat 24 cookies? See, you wouldn't. Look at you. You promised me. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Howdy doodies.

Well, howdy. Howdy doodies. Well, howdy. Howdy doodies. I will say, as someone who doesn't buy a lot of animal feed, but recently purchased a sack of chicken grub. It's gone up. Dude. Like everything. If you were feeding most of our animals, the goats, the horses, the pigs,

they're all grass-based. You can start eating these animals, man. Yeah. Start mincing them up. Make-based. You can start eating these animals, man. Yeah, I was... You can start mincing them up and... Make patties. You make some patties. Drop some mints off for me for my nachos. Yeah, some nacho mints.

That'd be lovely. Always needs mints. Always wants more mints in the fridge. Yes. But the cost has gone up significantly. Auckland Zoo has said the food bill to feed the 2,800 animals that live within... I know. 2,800... Are they counting. I know. 2,800?

Are they counting every bloody witter and bird? They're not counting the birds, are they? Each bird. Of course they're counting each bird. Sparrow. If they're in the aviary. What sparrows of theirs and which sparrows are just popular for the day? They don't own any sparrows.

I hope they're not counting nature's sparrows. If they can come and go, they're not on the food register. They're not getting a menu for room service. No, they're not getting one. It's gone up 22% year on year, and utility costs have already skyrocketed. I mean, anybody who'd know that, you know, inflation, everything's going up. Are they allowed to enter expense-free for the rest of 23? The animals?

The Auckland Zoo, that could bankrupt us. Yeah, please don bankrupt us. Yeah. Please don't enter. So much trouble. Well, they've put their prices up. We haven't increased prices since 2018, they said. But everyone's feeling the pinch, and we want to run the zoo well. And for that, I cannot blame them.

Yeah. So, the price changes. The biggest change is for New Zealanders living outside of Auckland. As Auckland rate payers, a bit of your rates goes to the zoo. Right. So they're saying you're already kind of doing your bit. The biggest price change is for New Zealanders living out of Auckland who now will pay the same price as international visitors.

$35 an adult and $20 a child. Okay. During the peak days of weekend school and public holidays and then $29 and $16.50 for an adult and a child respectively on off peak days. So it's going up. But children, still the cheaper option.

So I've got the top six ways to pass as a kid to get cheaper zoo tickets. Fantastic. Number six on the list. Go to the dump or the Salvation Army and get an old pram. Go to the dump. Yep. Or the Salvation Army. Yep. And get an old pram. Yes.

Now cut the bottom out of the pram. Yep. So you climb into the pram. Yes. And you put like a curtain around the pram so they can't see that you're an adult hiding underneath a pram. Now pop your head up through a hole in the bottom. Yep. Where you have a doll's body with the head cut off.

Okay. And it looks like you're a baby. But where's, because we're all sort of sniffing around six foot tall. Yeah. Where's the body? We're under the pram. But where's your body? Under the pram.

Under the pram. It's got to be an old school pram. It's got to be an old school pram. Yeah. And with a sheet, a cloth around the bottom. A cloth around it. Yeah. And we're sat down there.

That may require some reinforcing as well. Yeah. I mean, this would work better if we were smaller people. It really would. And also not, well, babies are bald. Yeah, that's true. But babies don't have beards. They don't have full facial.

Or five o'clock shower. Yeah. Or deep wrinkle lines. Yeah. Okay. What? Sorry, I'm just referring to my own deep wrinkle lines. Did you hear that?

She did point at you when she said deep wrinkle lines. Yeah, you did look at me. Deep wrinkle lines. Number five on the list of the top six ways to pass as a kid to get cheaper zoo tickets is just talk like a child, even though you're a full adult. Talk in a childlike baby voice, and they'll probably just let you in at the price of a child

to get you out of their face because they're creeped out by it. So even if your beard ball is six foot tall. Hello, I'm here to see what animals. My favourite animal is a well-ephant. Right. And they're like, sorry, we got rid of the elephant. $35, yeah. No, there's still one well-ephant.

Is there still one well-ephant? There's still one well-ephant. Remember, I was going to go to Sydney to go to well-ephant school, but then the Sydney well-ephant school was full. But we got the one well-ephant. We've only got one well-ephant. Yeah. Free kids tickets, please, for the well-o-phant.

Yeah, we want to go see the one well-o-phant and the wine-a-wop-a-pus. And the four-ming-wish. Yeah. And then they just were like, oh, my God, please leave. Sure, fine. Here's a discount. Stop it. This is creepy.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to pass as a kid to get cheaper zoo tickets. Put shoes on your knees. Yeah. And then go down on your knees. Yeah. And then go down on your knees and walk in. Right. And then we're like, oh, here's a child. And then you'll be like, I'll probably team that up with one ticket to the wellifans, please. And then you're out.

That's foolproof. It is. It really is. It is. Now you're small and talking like a kid. Yeah, I mean, come on. Let them in. Number three on the list of the top six ways to pass as a kid to get cheaper zoo tickets.

Start telling the ticket office person a story about the latest Mr. Beast video and what you've been doing in Bloxburg on Roblox. And if they've ever talked to a kid, they'll get immediate PTSD about a long, long conversation that went nowhere, about nothing, and they'll probably just let you in. Yeah, okay. Pretty even for free, I reckon. Yeah, why not? Yeah, any story that starts,

my daughter will be like, oh, oh, okay. So on YouTube, there's this guy, and I'm just like, and I just zone, and then 20 minutes later, I go, yep. Oh, my God, really? Weird. Yeah, you should show me later.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to pass as a kid to get cheaper zoo tickets. Tell them you don't act your age, you act your shoe size, just like your mum always said. I'm 10. Yeah. I'm US woman's 10. I'm an 11, but then if I'm wearing a thick sock, I'm a 12. He's not a 12. He always does this. I'm a thick sock, I'm a 12. He's not a 12. He always does this.

I'm a thick sock. You're a 12. He's always adding on. No, because I'm a 12. He's an 11. Yeah, you're a 12. I'm a 12. He's not.

With a thick sock, I'm a 12. No. A woman's 12. Yeah, he's got a lot of room in that 12. See, I think the Japanese have got the best idea

for the shoe size. It's millimetres. It's centimetres. Right. It's a metric measurement. Yeah. I mean, that's a fantastic idea, although I do have a wide foot. Very wide. He's centimeters. Right. It's a metric measurement. Yeah. I think that's a fantastic idea, although I do have a wide foot. He's quite girthy.

Quite girthy in the foot. Big girth. Chody feet. And number one on the list of the top six ways to pass as a kid to get cheaper zoo tickets. It's probably a little bit late for present company, but Botox, sunscreen, a healthy diet of vegetables and lots of water, apparently. I do sunscreen and water. Okay. I've been Botox. Yeah, a healthy diet of vegetables and lots of water, apparently. I do sunscreen and water.

Okay. A healthy diet? Yeah. Botox. Yeah, let's see what happens at today's Sub-Squad. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We have been washing our hands so hard for three years.

I don't believe we all have. I mean, we, yes, here, we're hand washers, but I still just don't believe people wash their hands. Sometimes you hear people leave the toilet and they walk straight out and you're like, you just left a cubicle and you did not wash your hands. What was the – it was always that sign at school. I'm going to say it wrong. Hōrai tō ringa ringa.

You know, like there was always that blue sticker and it always said something, something tō ringa ringa. Wash your bloody hands. And then we'd wash them. We'd be like, pump, water. I mean, I don't do 30 seconds. Rinse. Like I'm talking like a seven to nine second job.

Consider them washed. And then during the pandemic, we all just went cray and washed them like they were about to bloody perform open heart surgery. Dude, how good was the, and I still every now and then, do it, clean hands, backward through a door. Yeah, backward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try to get a foot through a door and whatnot. By the way, I always think toilet doors are wrong. They should be pushed to exit.

They're always pushed to enter. They should be pushed to exit. They're always pushed to enter. They should be pushed to exit. I know that opens outwards and blah, blah, blah, but you just washed your hands. You want to get out of there. Sometimes I'll use my sleeve if it's like a public toilet. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Or like just the pinkiest, you know, like just a little touch.

Anyway, so I feel like we've chilled on the hand washing and I've noticed it too. Like now that we're sort of the pandemic's over and we've cured it, that people are just doing the same thing, tap on, rinse and whatnot. Now they've done research and this is aimed at 18 to 24 year olds,

AKA Gen Z. Yeah. And apparently they're not washing their hands when they're at festivals at all. As one in five. But compared to like older people at festivals it's the 18 to 24 is not washing their hands. Yeah.

Okay. They were saying reasons for doing it was like a lack of washing facilities at festivals. Sure. You can find one. And queues for sinks. Oh yeah. And not wanting for sinks. Oh, yeah. And not wanting to miss bands. Could you have a little, like a hand, Sani?

But remember, it's not the same. It's not the same, no. So, you know, Nano Girl, she told us it's not the same. Sani's good when you need it. You've got to wash your hands. Still got poos on your hands? Always. So 26% of Brits in general wash their hands once a day.

That's not. You know what we need? We need a cholera outbreak. That'll teach us. After something like Glastonbury, I wonder how many people get like the. The runny bots. The runny bots. If they're not washing their hands.

Just reading this study that they did, there's so many illnesses that go around festivals because of like the amount of people that are there. That aren't washing their hands. Just reading this study that they did, there's so many illnesses that go around festivals because of the amount of people that are there. That aren't washing their hands. And then people just are not washing their hands. And in general, a third of festival goers are not washing their hands at all. They're not even doing a rinse. Yeah, right.

And then 53% of them at festivals don't wash their hands before they're eating. You're just touching the genitals. Yuck. Nah. Oh, that is just not, yeah. But, I mean, we've all been to festivals and sometimes camped, and it's hard. Yeah, your body can be dirty, but your mouth and your hands shouldn't be.

Wash your hands for 30 seconds. Thanks, Mum. Yes. Clay, Zed M's, Fletletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We hate change. We hate when the brands, we love the foods, we love change their recipes. Burger Rings don't taste the same anymore. Oh, all the shrinkflation.

Shrinkflation. Grainwaves. Oh, grainwaves. Dude, I had some grainwaves yesterday. I was like, what out of the scratch? What is this? Well, now it's coming for V. V is 26 years old.

Yep. What? It would be the number one energy drink. It is the number one fizzy energy drink for, you know, coffee would probably be number one. Yeah, sure. But it's getting a taste lift. They say that the flavour, these makers are saying,

the flavour will remain similar, but they're dialing up the best bits, making it smoother and fruitier. See, I think there's obviously a saving to be made in some of these ingredients. For sure this will be a financial thing. This is the only reason they would change the number one thing, right? People are already pissed.

When you're changing the recipe to save money, but you cost yourself customers, was it worth it? If it's the same, like we don't know what the new flavour tastes like. We don't know. And I think, you know, tradies are going to be upset because that's a staple breakfast. But we have to cross over to Shannon, who literally

just had a pie and a V for brekkie. Treasure. For those that don't know, Shannon, your dad is like, he loves not just the energy drink V, but he loves the brand. The lifestyle. Was it his 50th?

His 60th last year. He hired a nightclub and it was V themed. So much so that we went to Frucore and got like their old billboardy things and we decorated this nightclub. His band is called V6 because there's six of them and he loves V. So has he seen this news? So I called him. We got sent a press release he said.

So I have one every day as well, sometimes two. My dad has had two every day for the last maybe 30 years. 26. Since my entire life, I called him and gave him the bad news. I have never heard him so distraught. Like, this man has been through a lot.

But man, this rattled him. He's like, why have they done it? I was like, well, it just says they're giving it a taste lift. He goes, but what does this mean? And we talked about it for a few minutes. We then moved on to catch up. I was like, how's work? He's like, no, no, no, back to the V.

Oh, wow. Okay, right. So he's... So... Now, I'm on a website called zmonline.com. Yes, okay. Great website. And in 2017...

Yeah. It says V Energy are changing their recipe. 2017. What? We didn't even notice. We're changing the recipe. Then, later that same month in 2017, it said V Trictosol with recipe changes.

This is again on that wonderful website, ZMOnline.com. Yeah, right. Last week, they told us they were changing the recipe and of course, there was much outcry.

People don't like change, but it turns out they never intended to change the original green V recipe in the first place. They were just messing with us because the people

that went to sign up or something got to be the first to try the new limited edition flavor, V Spiked Punch. Oh, right. Okay.

Now, is this another one of these shenanigans, do you think? No. It's definitely saying that the original green V is changing. Because there's going to be a new can, so you're not going to just pick a V up and be like, is this a new flavour? Yeah, so instead of having dots around the V, it's going to have little Vs around the V.

Oh, okay. So it's still going to look the same kind of can. Well, yeah. But you won't be duped out by it. We await your review. Yes. Silly Little Poe. Silly Little silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Today's silly little pole, this has kind of been discussed online. Is it okay to dress scruffy to the airport? I'm assuming this is en route to destination. No, this is, and flying. Yeah, this is what I mean. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're going somewhere. You're not just going to the airport to wear trackies

and sit in a chair and watch people come and go. You've got to be comfortable. Yeah. I mean, in the heyday of flying, everybody dressed up like they were going to some kind of cocktail party, didn't they? Yes, yeah. Well, it was for the elite.

Yeah, my mum always rocks an onto-the-plane outfit and then an on-the-plane change in the hopes of an upgrade. Oh, really? Yeah, honestly. Then she's got to kind of get out of her outfit. Shuffle out of the jeans. And that tiny toilet. You're lucky if I'm wearing...

I'm a gym-legging, sneaker, big jumper girl. That's actually what I'm wearing today. Active-wearing trackies, so great for the plane. Yeah. That's actually what I'm wearing today. Active wearing trackies. So great for the plane. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But do you wear them onto the plane? Yeah, hell yeah.

I wore like socks and burks onto the plane. Yeah, that's right. I remember it was embarrassing. Yeah. Wait, did you do that international as well? Yeah, I did, yeah. Me and Vaughn actually rung each other. We're like, should we be worried?

Yeah. Should we say something? Yeah. It's absolute comfort. Max comfort, especially long haul. I mean, not great when the plane crashes at the end

of the runway and I have to get off the plane in socks because I've lost a Birkenstock. I'm going to get third degree burns on my feet.

Yeah, meanwhile, I'm stomping around in my Timberlands. Great for exiting a plane during a crash landing. And a thick rubber sole

as well, so it might keep me from electrocution should there be some sort of wires on the ground. Yeah, true. Ah, but we have asked you. they'll sink you in a water landing though as well, so it might keep me from electrocution should there be some sort of wires on the ground. Yeah, true. But we have asked you.

Oh, they'll sink you in a water landing, though. Yeah, they will. And also when you go through security, you've got to take them off. I know. I can't be bothered. So I thought I was going to get around that with some new balances. Yeah. Coming back from LA and they were still just like, take it off.

Everything has to come off in America. Yeah. Everything. Good Lord. You have to go through naked. I'm looking, take it off. Everything has to come off in America. Yeah. Yeah. Everything. Good Lord. You have to go through naked. Why are you looking at my breasts? You have to go through naked, yeah.

Everyone is one by one, like, holding their genitals. Oh, my God. Do you know that when they give you all your stuff back, they also give you, like, a card to a cosmetic surgeon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So for you, man, we've given you a breast lift and a tummy tuck and some Botox. Just a light, just a couple of... Just one...

I actually went through a couple of airports that have that, you don't have to take anything out of your bag. You just put it on, it goes through. I love that.

Amazing. I didn't know this was a thing. All airports need that. You don't have to take out your laptop, liquids. They do it in New Zealand. I know they do it

from Auckland to Melbourne now. Laptops stay in the bag. Liquids stay in the bag. Yeah. Rules. So good. Rules. How do they know you're going to Melbourne?

Well, I don't know. I'm just going, when I've gone to Melbourne, they've done it. Oh, yeah, maybe. So good. Maybe they're just not doing it. No, I had to take one. Auckland International, we didn't have to do it last time. No, you could see it was like a newer machine.

And they were like, nah, keep them in, keep them in. And I was like, ooh, okay. Yeah, it's good stuff. Good fun. Well, is it okay to dress, you've actually just discovered Fletcher's passion topic here. Oh my god. Travel. And airport etiquette and you could see all aspects. He could talk for hours about all of it. I went to a brand new airport that had like

40 lanes and I was just like, oh man. How many had people in them? It was very quiet. There were literally like 20 of us 40 lanes and I was just like how many had people how many had people in them it was very quiet there were literally like 20 of us that had landed

but like oh my god you each got two lanes it was incredible I was like they should do this in Auckland and then get back

to Auckland there's like two people and like three scanners when you come back in you're just like yeah that's good stuff

yeah they asked me when I was coming back into Auckland if I bought a Donald Trump hat the last bit where they either send you down the alley or scan you Dad's good stuff. Yeah. I asked me when I was coming back into Auckland if I bought a Donald Trump hat. Sorry? The last bit where they either send you down the alley or scan you or put you past the dog.

Yeah. Just before you're free. Yeah. He's like, do you bring any food back? And we're like, nah. And he's like, any Donald Trump hats? They're usually so humorless. No.

Do you think it's a trick question to say if you're like an incel? No, because he was like, you don't know what you're missing. I was like, oh, no, we an incel? No, because he was like, you don't know what you're missing. I was like, oh, no, we're not that sort of people. He's like, you don't know what you're missing. Anyway, go past the dog. What? I was just like, wait a minute. What?

Where do you stand on this? I don't know. I just happened to get out of there, to be honest. Is it okay to dress scruffy to the airport? That is what we're talking about. Today's silly little poll. Absolutely 83%. No way, 17%.

Interesting. Comfort is king as long as you don't smell, says Thomas. And I couldn't agree more. Thomas is someone who just recently sat on a long-haul flight next to a very smelly man. Brandon says, scruffy all the way. You aren't dressing for the destination. You're dressing to be comfy on the plane.

Yeah, 100%. So it's not like the old saying, dress for the job you want. It's dress for how you want to be comfortable. But you've got to have a pair of shorts and jandals on the plane. Yeah, 100%. So it's not like the old saying, dress for the job you want. It's dress for how you want to be comfortable. But you've got to have a pair of shorts and jandals in the bag. There's nothing like arriving in Thailand in a pair of track pants and Timberlands and you're like...

Yeah, I made a huge mistake. Yeah. My mum always made us wear our best outfit to the airport. She said the better we look, the more chance we had of getting on the flight. We flew standby everywhere as Dad worked for Air New Zealand.

Oh, I see. That's right. I've done a bit of standby Staff travel For airlines You've actually got to be Like a lot of them Have standards

You've got to be dressed Some of them You have to dress in like Business attire Oh Sorry Just to travel as staff Yeah

Because I don't want like People looking at you And you're just like Oh yeah I'm staff And you're dressed in trackies And stuff That's fair

Most airline loungers Have strict dress codes Says Brett Oh and they're loud Okayies and stuff. That's fair. Most airline lounges have strict dress codes, says Brett. Oh, in the lounge. Okay, so Brett's a lounge man. Simply must dress up. Scruffy, sort of, but

FFS, not your PJs, says Libby. Nah, maybe not your PJs. Nice to start a holiday feeling your best and not like you've just rolled

out of bed, even though you probably just have. Yeah. You know, nothing like shaking off that sleeping pill haziness at the other end in some comfortable clothes, you know. You don't want to be doing it in a three-piece suit.

You're still in public, says Danielle. Have some self-respect. Where's the decorum? Going to the airport is exciting. It's not a hospital. Wow. She went to a finishing school. Yeah, I think so too.

Looks dabble. She's got nerves. Big private school energy there. Yeah, she does. High-st a finishing school. Yeah, I think so too. Looks dabble. Big private school energy. Yeah, she does. High-stretch private school energy. It's a rangiruru. It's giving it to Margaret. Dress up, says Mary. You never know when you're going to find your airport crush

and you want to be looking your best. Oh. Yeah, it is a good first point. If you can't love me at my airport comfiness. You can't love me at my best. You can't love me at my best, you know. And my airport comfiness, drinking at 8 o'clock in the morning is definitely not my best. That is not my best.

In my socks and sandals. An airport doesn't count. An airport's any time. Yeah, the moment you walk into an airport, fair game. It's not in the waters. Yeah, I want a burger at 3am and I want a wine at 7. Yeah, I want a burger at 3am. Yeah. And I want a wine at 7. Yeah. Totally. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. I want to give a big shout out to the iHeartRadio app. Because Patsy Sproul and Craig Sproul are listening from bloody Italy right now. Live. Technology. Mum's doing live commentary on the music. Being like, oh, I like this one. She's an Olivia Rodrigo fan. She's into the vampire thing.

She's into the vampire. She just said, what about Hayley's version of this? I said, it's too high. Buenos dias. Buenos dias. No, no. Buongiorno. Buongiorno.

Now, Bumble, the dating app, which is the female-led dating app, right? So females have to message first. Initiate. Yes. They have had for a few years, I believe, like a tab or like a little, I'm going to

pop over here within their app called BFF. Is that right? And it was like you can go not to just meet a lover, but meet a friend. Hard to convince your wife to let you have Bumble on your phone because you're looking for a BFF. This is what it feels like. Carwen had this exact situation.

I sure did. This is another, your boyfriend before this one. Yes. Or the one before that one. A while ago. A while ago. I go through them.

I just get through them. Hi, good morning, Brian. She's a man eater. She's leaving a trail of broken men. Yeah. And we'll make no apologies. Yeah. She's in her man eater era.

So, you had a boyfriend So you had a boyfriend, you had a boyfriend, but you downloaded Bumble for the friends because you wanted some friends. Yeah, I was trialing it out for a little bit and I did make some friends, you know. Like what kind of friends? Just some girly pops that have similar interests.

Did you choose male or female friends? Oh, that's a good point. Or was it just open to any, because surely the guys are just going to try it on and the friends, like guys are going to try it on anywhere, right? Yeah, listen, the only people that I did meet on there were girls,

so maybe I did just choose girls. That's hot though. Okay, yeah, right, okay. But did your boyfriend at the time have a problem with you doing that? Yes, yeah. So because it's all in one app, even though you switch it to just BFF, I wasn't on the dating side,

it looks suspicious that Bumble's on your phone. Yeah, it does. I think if I was to pick up Aaron's phone and see any of the dating apps on it, I'd be like, why? Like, what's happening here? Well, this problem no more, it turns out. So they're tethering it off. They're removing it

from the core Bumble dating app and they're making a separate app called Bumble for Friends so that it's clearly, you know. Just for friends. Just for friends. And it'll be distinct. So if your partner saw the app,

you could be like, it's just for friends. It's just for friends. I've got Bumble for Friends, not just Bumble. I mean, I love this. Now, you could be like, it's just for friends. It's just for friends. I've got Bumble for friends, not just Bumble. I mean, I love this. Now, you know me, I cannot, I can't have a single another friend. Because you've got too

many. I'm maxed out. Anytime I meet someone I like, I'm like, damn it! I'm going to have to cull. I mean, you've got quite a massive circle of friends and I've started hanging out with them and I don't have space, man. You've actually told some of them

that you can only be friends with like three of them. Yeah, I know. And like I audition them every time we hang out. I'm like, you're not making me cut. And then you put like two of them on a wait list. Yeah, yeah. Which I thought was like quite... But it rotates though.

Yeah, right. And they rotate through them. But you do. It also creates an area of exclusivity and the best people try harder. Yeah, I love that. But you do. It also creates an area of exclusivity and people try harder. Yeah, I love that. But I get it, like,

I'm really good at making friends, but it's hard. I have lots of friends who, like, as you get older and your world becomes smaller,

it's so hard to make friends. I love that. Especially people that move to a new city. Yeah, man. And, you know, maybe they're moving

for work. They might not have any friends. And if you're like, yeah, like you say, like, a bit older, you know, maybe they're moving for work. They might not have any friends and if you're like, yeah, like you say, like a bit older, it is harder because where do you meet people?

Yeah. I have a friend who moved from Wellington to Christchurch because she fell in love and, you know, the partner lived down there and had to live down there so she moved.

And his friend sucked by the sounds of things. Suck! But, you know, and then she was like, man, I don't have any mates and it was really hard and then you get into things like netball and, you know, and then she was like, man, I don't have any mates. And it was really hard. And then you get into things like netball and, you know, make work friends and stuff.

Yeah. But this is great. So if you're not looking for a lover, you just want friends. Yeah, and apparently in New Zealand, but also they're launching this in Aussie, Canada, Ireland, the UK as well. So, yeah, it's all go. UK, America, Philippines, go for it. That's a no from me. You've got enough friends?

Yeah, but mine is I've got too many legitimately. Like I would say I've got about 50 close friends. That's insane. We must be in the absolute inner circle because we're invited to the wedding. I know. We're not. No, it's not that you're not invited.

It's like no one's invited. Hard not to invite the organisers. Organisers. Hard not to invite the wedding planners. Yeah. Hang on. And the butterfly boy. We've talked about this.

I'm the butterfly boy. I'm the butterfly boy. Okay. He walks down the aisle releasing butterflies. I'm excited for this. Some of our family's not coming out. I'm going to have a headset. I'm going to have a clipboard. I'm going to be marching around. I'm excited for this. Some of our family's not coming out. I'm going to have a headset. I'm going to have a clipboard.

I'm going to be marching around. I'm excited. And I need to get the ushers, names and numbers and the MC, okay? Because... There is no MC. I think you're MC.

That's a weird way to ask, but I'll do it. Okay, Aaron's brother has literally just texted me and been like, what's... Of course he's not invited. He's not in the inner sanctum.

He's not in the inner circle. We're running on tight numbers here, Aaron's brother, who doesn't even have a name apparently. Matt, there is no wedding. There is, Matt. No, I'm sorry. He's not made the cut. Has he found out about it? Keep that quiet from Aaron's mum and dad until the wedding's all done. Thanks. Next on the show,

people are turning. No, no, no. Please interrupt me show people are turning Please interrupt me. People are turning into vampires in record numbers. Blitz! Blitz! That's the idea for the Hayley's version.

A vampire that's angry at being appropriated for the purpose of entertainment. That's heavy. That's a lot of work. Sometimes when a parody seems like it's too far a stretch, you just don't do it, you know? Yeah. People are turning to budget brands in their drives.

The cost of living. It's insane that people are still buying expensive brands of things we want to talk about. We've talked about it before, and it's so good to hear when the cheaper version is the better version. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. When there's a cheaper version

of something, food-wise, yeah, I'll buy it. Unless it's shellfish, then I just probably won't. But home-bred. Reduced to clear. Mussels. Cooked by 5pm today. Yeah. I do love a reduced to clear meat, though 5pm today yeah I do love

a reduced to clear meat though or a re-wrapped a re-wrapped meat because the juice has escaped so they're like we're going to get rid of this

thing never buy marinated marinated reduced to clear meat because that's the stuff that they was nearly expiring that they cover in it's all good for a stew

yeah I guess so it's all good for a stew but you don't buy a marinated rump steak because that thing's been dried out and beaten the hell out of and then covered in sauce. But home brands, like your store brands,

it's most of the time, and I remember over the years we've talked to people that work in the factories. They're like, this sugar is the same as a big brand. It comes from the same place. Especially things like milk and cheese. It blows my mind that people buy expensive brand milk and cheese. It is the same stuff, literally.

What's the, is it, not Pam's. Like, Pam's is one of, is the best. Pam's Cheese. Rules. Yeah, Pam's Cheese rules. Pam's Cheese rules, man. I don't know who Pam is, but tip of the hat to your cheese. Oh, Pam just, yes.

Pam slaves over that cheese. And honestly, we can taste it. She milks the cow. She adds the culture. You've got, like, home brand, no frills, which I don't think is around anymore. No, no frills. Budget.

Yep. Just the blue ones. Like, when I... Most supermarkets have their own brand as well. Like, that's effectively why Countdown's changing to Woolies, because they can just bring in all the Australian-made or branded stuff. But it's like the other day when we went for drinky-poos

and we had to stop off at a dairy and there was no, like, home brand thing and we had to buy Schweppes soda water. Oh. And it's like... You're paying through the nose. For bubbles. For bubbles being added to standard water.

Whereas I always buy budget soda water. It's literally water. Yeah, it's the same. Or lemonade or whatever. If you're doing mixes, who cares? But it's not surprising people are doing this because everything has gone up. I mean, even the budget brands have gone up.

Yeah, of course, but just still not as much. Yeah, and it seems that the younger you are, the more likely you are to not absolutely have a problem, like not have a problem with it at all. It's still the baby boomers are holding on. Is it because they've spent years with those brands? Bit of brand loyalty. Yeah, bit of loyalty.

And they think, oh, it's so good. Yes. But it's the same. But we want to know this morning, what is better? When is the budget brand cheaper? Better. The cheaper one is also better. Mine is budget.

Yeah. You know, like wafers, raspberry wafers with cream filling biscuits, you know, what you'd find in an Arnott's box or something. Yeah. Budget does them, and I've always bought them since I was a student. I know the ones, they're in a white. They're in a white packet with a blue budget sticker, and it's like strawberry flavflavoured cream wafer.

And it's exactly the same as an expensive one. Exactly the same, except they were like a dollar a pack. Probably made in the same factory. Probably. Yeah. Probably. Our friend Matt's just sent a photo of him with a one-litre bottle of Lewis Road Creamery Organic Milk.

It is the same stuff. Just get a Dairydale. I know, but when you have Lewis Road, you are like, it's a finer quality of dairy product. The cows all live in a cul-de-sac than a road called Lewis. They're just going back from a holiday in Bali.

Oh, yeah. Well, now Matt's partner Mike's also joined the chat saying, we are not rich. Please start buying PAMs. Thank you. I'm glad this argument's happening in front of all of us. I did this recently because I needed some new gym leggings. Mine were all getting a bit raggedy.

Yeah, because we don't want to just talk about food. No, and I found a brand. I looked up the best Lululemon dupes. Yeah. And I found a brand called Craze Yoga, like C-R-Z-Y-G-A. Dude, they turned up, high-waisted, buttery finish, great fit, and they were – Buttery finish?

Wait, you're not eating them. When you talk about leggings, and I'm wearing gym gear today to work, buttery, it's like that smooth kind of velvety as opposed to like a shiny kind of a – Wouldn't you just say matte? Matte finish. No, the word Lululemon uses to describe their leggings is buttery. Like a Chardonnay, it's buttery.

You are not wearing Lululemon, you're wearing crazy yoga, so I think you've got to call that a margarine finish. I've got a margarine finish. Genuinely, just as good. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800-DIALS-IT-M. We can help each other out in this cost of living crisis. Maybe some tips.

The ordinary skincare. There's another one. Oh, yeah, what to buy cheaper. That you actually find is better. When is the budget version better? I'm loving this. It's like people that swear by smearing, I was going to say gasoline,

Vaseline all over their face at night. Gives them incredible skin. No, no, that sounds like a clogged up pore. Shannon's got a bottle of Vas. Do you do this, Shannon? Do you Vas up your face? What do you Vas? I mean, you don't have to tell us where you Vas, but...

On the face, yeah, yeah. In winter, you need a slug. It's too dry. That's right, a slug. Yeah, it's called slugging, so you do it overnight, but then I keep it with me in case I... What about your pillow? Because your pillow case must be a mess. No, you just wash it all the time. It's right. A slug? Yeah, it's called slugging, so you do it overnight, but then I keep it with me in case I... What about your pillow? Your pillowcase must be a mess. No, you just wash it all the time.

Wash it all the time? How many pillowcases do you put on at once? Are you double bagging your pillow? I always double bag a pillowcase. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Everyone's not on their head of double bagging a pillowcase? I'm only here on one pillowcase. I've got a mattress protector and a pillowcase. Yeah, I've got the pillowcase protector and the pillow.

Yeah. So many messages are coming through. I mean, you vast for your skincare. That's cheap, isn't it? Cheap as chips, man. Yeah. Somebody said, Bella Sweet and Sour Gherkins. Now you got my attention because he loves a pickle.

I love the Sweet and Sour Gherkins. I'm Delmaine. Sweet and Sour. $13.50 at Moore Wilson's for a 2.25kg jar. That's cheap pickles. That's like the wholesalers, isn't it? Not everybody can get in there. Moore Wilson's, Gilmore's.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Costco? Olivia joins us. What's the cheaper product that you swear by? Oh, I always go to the warehouse and get like the $1 or $2 pads or tampons instead of the $6 box. Dude, tampons are expensive, eh? Oh my gosh, yeah.

They're so expensive. I don't actually know how much tampons are. There's a video that's going viral at the moment and people are going around asking men, how many tampons do you think women go through a day? And they're like, ooh, so it was just one. One? Nope. Not just one.

Never is. What if he does two tampies? I would have said six. Is that too many? Oh, it could be a little bit too many, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Between like three and five. So how much is a box of how many?

Dude, they go up to like 10 bucks. Can you imagine if Fletcher's a woman? He's such a bulk purchaser. He'd just have a cupboard full. I'd be stuck with the Tammys. His sanitary cupboard. The dude would have a pantry, a sani-pan. Olivia, thank you.

So many texts. Yeah, someone said, Pam's jet planes, superior to Pascal's jet planes. Big call. Huge call. Pam's toilet paper three-plate double rolls and eight in a Pack will not be beaten for sphincter softness.

Somebody is upset that we've mentioned budget toilet paper brands because they said it's their trigger. It should not be taken lightly. Don't buy budget toilet paper unless you want your finger to go through while you're wiping, spoken from experience. Oh, my God. I'm not saying drop down to a lower ply. No, layer up as well.

The budget brands do make a fickle loo roll. More Kiwis, and it's not surprising, are turning to budget brands. We're asking this morning, what you prefer, the cheaper brands, when is cheaper better? And people sharing some amazing tips here. Someone said the countdown brand of Pringles, way bigger. Because remember, Pringles had trinclation. Pringles got small, yeah.

Oh, okay. I no longer buy Chesdale cheese slices. I now buy Countdown's own brand. You get double the amount for $1.50 more. And they're super tasty. Sorry, Ches and or Dale. And or Dale. Yeah.

I mean, mate, it's like we said, dairy. It's all the same stuff. It's delicious. All made in the same place. Remington hair straighteners, $40. Best hair straighteners I've ever had. Okay. Pam's peanut butter is goat.

That means greatest of all time. Okay. Is that really price? Is it because, yeah. Does it have added sugar? Yeah. Delicious. Maybe, and that's why some people like it. Yeah, delicious. I used to work at a cereal factory that also made Pam's,

muesli and granola. Same recipe, same machines, different box, considerably different price. Wow. Same factory as what, though? As a fancy brand. As a fancy brand. I didn't say the brand. Really?

Yeah, because fancy brands have fancy lawyers. That like to fancy sue you. They will fancy have a word to our advertising department and fancy pull all their money, and then I'll have a fancy meeting with the CEO who tells me I'm fancy out of a job. Dude, there's so many people coming in standing Pam. Pam rules.

Pam stands. Pam's version of Milo. Cheaper and not as gritty. Really? Easier to mix. That is my one gripe with Milo. You've got to stir that thing to oblivion to get it all to crumble up. I like grub.

What do they call them? Milo sores. Milo dinosaurs? Yeah, that's right. Remember? It's just piled up on top of the milk. I thought you said Milo sores. Like you break out in a sore and it's like a crusty.

From too much Milo. Yeah. It's the herpes virus. Pam's caramelized onion rules. Pam's garlic pasta sauce is the best. Wow. Some more Pam stands there. Okay.

Hands down mascara is the same formula no matter if it is $80 from Mecca or $20 from the chemist. It's all the same. It's all about the brush. Yeah. Now, Shannon, along with the Vaseline, you just tried a new skincare dupe.

A hair care dupe, actually. A hair care? So Olaplex, the girlies will know, is one of the most sought after products. Is it? It's basically a bond repair product

which helps with strengthening hair. What do you want to commission? Maybe we'll... Maybe we'll... Okay, here we go. You want a commission? Remember when Aaron was washing his hair with it every second day? She's got a garage full of it, and she just needs you and your friends to start selling it,

and she can supply you with the product. She's got a Mercedes. You could be like her. That's a lease. Yeah. No, but Olaplex is something everyone's sought after, and I saw on TikTok someone was sharing a dupe, and I bought it yesterday.

I've washed my hair. You can give the review, ladies, but I feel like it looks stronger and shinier. We're not entitled to review because we're bored, man. This is ridiculous. What do you know about hair?

You don't even know what hair is anymore. Come in here and let me sniff it and run my fingers through it and I'll let you know what I think of it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM.

Jack Shepard and Kristen Bell are a really interesting couple. They haven't made secretive issues that they've had. Dax, I think, has talked many times about his battles with addiction and such. Yeah, and she became his sponsor, eh? Like, just got in there with him. Yeah, yeah. Does that work when your wife's your sponsor? Yeah, I know.

It feels like you want to be more removed. Because you might want to drink because you can't stand her for the day. Well, I'd say it's probably a deeper issue that probably needs

to be discussed with them. But they are under fire because apparently they've said that they're okay with their kids drinking non-alcoholic beverages

that are the non-alcoholic versions of alcoholic beverages. So a non-alcoholic beer, are the non-alcoholic versions of alcoholic beverages. So a non-alcoholic beer, like a zero... A zero percent beer. But how old are their kids? I don't know how old their kids are now. She said that when they,

even they went to a restaurant and then the kid was like, do you have zero percent beer? And the restaurant was like... And Kristen was like, oh yeah, maybe we'll just keep that as a home thing. But then was like, well, what's the issue?

Lincoln, nine, and Delta, eight. Like non-alcoholic beers due to a connection they've got with their dad who doesn't drink anymore. Right. Yeah. But then it's kind of like a gateway, right? Yeah, well, it's mostly supposed to be an exit. Yeah.

Yeah. But then that's completely legal because that is not alcohol. So this happened at our house. I walked in and August was sitting at the computer drinking a Pals 0% Pals. They do those. Because, yeah, a friend of ours came around. She doesn't drink. She bought and she left some of them behind.

And August was like, can I have one of those? And Shadow's like, yeah, 0%. It's basically soda water. But marketed as Pals. You thought August was on the Pals already. I was just like, whoa! You should be drinking that. And she's like, it's 0%. And I was like, I still don't know

it. Because I remember when they brought them out there was that story about the mum that sent her kids to school with them in the lunchbox. And the school was like, no. And she's like, why? It's soda water. I remember that. And I was like, no. But technically it's soda water. But it's like, why? It's soda water. I remember that. And I'm like, no. But technically it's soda water. But it's an alcohol company.

And it's branded to look like. You could have put a Heineken 0.0% in a lunchbox and be like, whoa, what's this? What's the issue? And they're like, psst, you know, get a bottle opener and stuff. And they're like, cheers, mate. Yeah. Nick it. Nick it.

Do the spin and it goes. Yeah, okay, yeah, that would be weird. I'm so, like, conflicted by this. Nick it. Do the spin and it goes. Yeah, okay, yeah, that would be weird. I'm so, like, conflicted by this. Me too. Because it looks weird. Yeah. And Shadow's like, it's fine, it's 0%. I was like, yeah, I know, but.

But if your girls went, you know, not too far from that age. Yeah. If your girls went to the pub with you and ordered a 0% beer and sat there with a pint. It's strange. I can't ever imagine at eight or nine I was allowed a shandy. My granddad used to mix us up a shandy and it was gross. I was allowed to the froth.

If Fanta was an option, shandies were to be considered. Only to be cool because your granddad would be like, you want a shandy? And you'd be like, yes. Because I'm a big man and we've been out farming sheep. We're going to be a couple of blokes having a Canterbury draft at the end of the day. Mine with lemonade, please, barkeep. But, yeah, if there was a yum fizzy drink,

you remember those little jolly drinks, if they were an option, I'm hooning eight of those and just buzzing. But when you say it's not illegal, surely you couldn't go into a liquor store as a 10-year-old. You know, as a 10-year-old, you could walk into a dairy, buy a lemonade and leave, right? And they don't need to say, where's your mum? You couldn't walk into your local liquor store, Liquorland,

and go into the fridge and get a four-pack of 0%. Could you? Could you? Could you? What's the law? No? The producer's desk is saying no? You can't. Well, I happen to have a child.

Two of them, in fact. I might run a test. Are we running a DIY test? I just don't think you can. Pop them into the bloody... No, because they'll go into my local booster and they'll be like, G'day, Andy. Do you want to take a bottle of Jameson's for your dad while you're here?

Andy'll be like, oh, yeah, I suppose so. He'll go into my local booster and they're like, G'day, Indy. Do you want to take a bottle of Jameson's for your dad while you're here? And you'll be like, Oh, yeah, I suppose so. You got me his card. Grab a rosé out of the fridge for your mum. Yeah, mum will be after a rosé, no doubt. Yeah. Oh, bizarre. Because, yeah, I would have thought

liquor stores are RR18. R-R-18. R-R-18. But what about a dairy that stores alcohol? Yeah, but that's not an R18 venue, though, is it? What about a supermarket? Could a kid go into a supermarket on their own? And buy 0% beers.

And buy a pack of 0% beers? What a weird image. It's so weird. This whole thing just doesn't sit right, does it? But it's because they didn't exist. Somebody said, I got ID'd buying 0% beer yesterday. Oh, okay. Non-alcoholic spirits are brewed the same as normal spirits,

and then the alcohol is removed after the process. Also, they make you show ID at the supermarket when you buy 0% alcohol. Yeah, you could go in and buy that, like, seed lip fake gin as a 10-year-old. How bizarre. This person that was like, I got ID buying 0% alcohol yesterday, then dropped in, I'm 35. Oh, it must be nice. It must be nice.

It must be nice that you still look so youthful. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We're going to talk about girl maths. Girl maths is when a woman justifies a number of something by going, yeah, but if you look at it this way, da-da-da-da-da-da. I do this for expensive clothing, cost per wear. So I could buy a $20 top for now and never wear it again.

That's $20 per wear, right? Yeah, that's expensive. That's very expensive. I could buy a $500 dress and I always say, I'll absolutely smash that. See that dress at Moochie, that's $400, but I'll absolutely smash it. The cost per wear will probably be about 30 cents

in a couple of years because I'm going to wear it every couple of days. That's that easy. So I can justify paying 500. But a lot of people... I do that for a dollar. Everything's got to effectively be a dollar a day in my head. Like what, for example? But your jeans, you get way more for jeans than a dollar a day.

Thank you, I do. You do. I literally do. I got this pair of jeans for $80 and I've worn them for 5,000 consecutive days. 5,000 years. Yeah. So the girlies at the social media desk and the producer's booth, Carween and Chanelette Pyjamas, have been talking about girl math.

Yeah. Because, Shannon, Carween's been growing out her hair. Yeah. And I've done some girl math for her. So it's been a year since she got her hair done. And she's been dabbling with the idea of getting it redone and i said okay so we've had about 400 days let's say since she got it done i reckon if she gets a good stylist which she will another 400 on top of that we're looking at 800 days of hair then well no you can't count the days that have already been

that's already been in girl world oh sorry sorry In girl world. Oh, sorry, sorry. This is girl math. Sorry. Yeah, so we've got 800 days of use here. Yep. If we're looking at $400 for a balayage and highlights, which is kind of what Carlin's looking at, we're looking at $400.

50 cents a day to look good, feel good, be your best self. It's a no-brainer. Girl math's problem solved. Yeah, this is like us when we go to that place that every dish is $8 that's more or less free and we say to ourselves it's basically free

because the maths in our head are like it's $8 we always go with eight people so that's a dollar a dish that's madness it's basically free

but then you end up buying a thousand dishes and of course it's not free and we're all chipping in a hundred bucks and you're like where's my free meal gone

yeah yeah I do but yeah I definitely do girl maths it makes sense it's kind of like the after pay of your brain And we're all chipping in at $100 and you're like, where's my free meal gone? Yeah, I definitely do girl maths. It makes sense. It's kind of like the afterpay of your brain. Yeah. Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, panel, panel, ladies, ladies. Read this message.

Girl maths, exclamation mark, help, exclamation mark. Oh, okay. I just bought the Deadly Ponies Mr. Molten Tote. Oh, la, la. Help me justify it. Oh, my God. How much? That's $1,000. That's a $1,000 bag.

For a what? No! For a what? Listen, Deadly Ponies is a very high quality. Here's the math. I'll do this for you. I have a Deadly Ponies handbag. This handbag?

A molten clutch. Is this what I'm Googling? Molten Tote. Mr. Molten tote. My handbag, I've had for five years. So now you're at $200 a year. You're less than a dollar a day. Mine wasn't $1,000, so I'm even smaller than that. It's a tote.

How many ways can you use a tote? That's what I was just going to say. The supermarket. Happy bag. Supermarket. Your handbag. So you're actually getting four bags in one. Going away bag. Airplane bag. So divide it by four. That's a good one. I was just going to say. Good supermarket. Happy bag, supermarket, handbag, festival bag, going away bag, airplane bag.

So divide it by four. That's a good one, four bags in one. Yeah, so divide by four. So if we're looking at... It's $250 per bag. Per bag. You've got four designer bags there. If you're using that every day for a year,

you're literally being paid to use this bag. It's basically free. You're being paid. It's basically free. How did you get to, from a $1,000 bag. It's basically free. You're being paid. It's basically free. How did you get to from a $1,000 bag it's basically free? Well, because you're

getting four bags so $2.50 per bag then you use it every day for a year. You're sub-hundred then so you're getting paid $100 to use this bag.

So they replied oh shit yeah queens I love you I knew it would get real. I think this could be a regular segment Girlmance where people want us to justify their purchases. Help me I just bought a $500 dress. I love you I knew it would get real I think this could be a regular segment girl mats where people

want us to justify their purchases help me I just bought a $500 dress and it's an occasion dress they bought specifically for a wedding

we can break that down for you I think that would be too hard nope because all the free drinks you get by looking so good

in your occasion dress that's right you're deducting deduct deduct deduct can I just say girl mats is wild. Gilmats is out the gate. This is insane.

I cannot believe this chick got a free Deadly Ponies bag. It's so good. She's an ambassador. It's unreal. She's a Deadly Ponies ambassador. This is insane. Yeah. How lucky is she?

She could basically do hashtag gifted. She should have. Even though she spent $1,000. Girlmats is like... Girlmats is back tomorrow because we've got two more Girlmats problems. Okay, right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day is

10 years ago MIT researchers Massachusetts Melbourne The M stands for Massachusetts Massachusetts Massachusetts It's where Good Will Hunting went right? Yeah Massachusetts He went to MIT It stands for Massachusetts. Yeah. Massachusetts. Yep, Massachusetts.

It's where Good Will Hunting went, right? Yeah. Massachusetts. He went to MIT. Researchers there concluded, and this is the current world's hardest tongue twister, to say 10 times in a row, and I'd never heard of it.

Okay. Pad kid poured curd pulled cod. Oh, no, be careful. That's a nonsensical sentence. Pad kid poured curd pulled cod. Pad kid poured curd pulled cod. Now, I haven't read, but apparently it is also a sentence. It does sound like a nonsensical sentence,

but, you know, sometimes someone will be like, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, and it's actually his hair. Because I'm using bear as a verb and bear as an adjective. Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear. Oh yeah, pad kid poured curd pulled cod. Oh, you did it well. Go ten times.

Pad kid poured curd pulled cod. Pad kid poured curd pulled cod. You're out, you're out, you're out. The pour, it's like where you have to put the vowel in your mouth, they change and then it stuffs you. So, can I try? Can you give it?

Yeah. It's just in the Google search bar. Padkin, podkurd, pulled cod. No, you can't go slow. Padkin, podkurd, pulled cod. Faster. Padkin, podkurd, pulled cod. Faster. Pad kid, poured curd, pulled cod. Faster.

Pad kid, poured curd, pulled cod. Pad kid, poured curd. No, he got it. He only got through four. You made me go too far. Go Vaughan, go Vaughan. Pad kid, poured curd, pulled cod. Pad kid, poured curd, pulled cod.

Pad kid, poured curd, pulled cod. Pad kid, poured curd. No. I was like running down a hill. I was like, I'm doing well, I'm doing well. And then I got too excited about doing well and I couldn't do it. So they said if anyone can do that 10 times fast, they'll absolutely give them a prize.

Okay. But apparently nobody's done it yet. Okay. This was before AI. What's the prize? Well, they haven't discussed it. They said there definitely will be a prize. Just because no one's doing it.

I wonder if you could learn that. Tongue twisters can teach you a lot about normal brain function. If anyone could say that 10 times quickly, they'd get a prize, Just because no one's doing it. I wonder if you could learn it. Tongue twisters can teach you a lot about normal brain function. If anyone could say that ten times quickly, they'd get a prize. She said, alternating repetitive tongue twisters is one of the best challenges for the brain. Oh, okay. So you do that one and then you do the seashell, seashell.

Because if you get into the habit of, like you said, Hayley, the vowels and that wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. It's rhythmic. And then you change it. It changes how your brain's interpreting words. So we should be doing tongue twisters all the time for our brain.

One of my favourite ones is toy boat. Try to say toy boat over and over and over again. Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, toy boat. You start saying toy boat, toy boat. Toy boat, toy boat. So boat, toy boat, toy boat. You start saying toy boat, toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.

So one like that is top cops or a cop top. Oh, I'm scared of that one. Yeah, that could go, that could go, that could end up being a swear word. Those are the best sentences where you can't say the swear word. A mother pleasant feather plucker is very hard. That's just going to be problematic. So today's fact of the day is the current record holder for the world's hardest tongue twister is Pad Kid Porn Curd. Pad Kid Porn Curd Porn Con.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play it. CDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A little bit of DIY. You have to these days. Well, you save money, don't you? Save money. Do it yourself.

Me and Aaron are painting our whole house on our own. Yep. And it's hard, but it's good and it's fun. I've painted the odd room and you start and you're like, cool, fun, and then you're like, not fun. And then you're like, oh, it really hurts. And then now I've turned a light on and I can see that I've gone one different way at once.

Yeah, there's smears. Because I'm such a perfectionist. I don't like seeing any little... And then the other day, I didn't even notice. I've got like a dribble run down my wall. Drips are the worst. And you've got to stop, you've got to sand, you've got to repaint. So I'm going to have to sand that because I can't

stand it now I've noticed it. But when someone else does it, you don't notice that as much. No, I know. Because you don't do it. Well, because we're doing all colourful stuff as well. So you've got the white ceiling that then goes into the white scotch, which then goes into the colour, and you've got that line perfect. Oh, you've got to use some tape.

You've got to use tape. You've got to use cutting in brush. It's hard. Anyway, a TikToker shared a video of a DIY she did. Now, look, I'm going to say our styles are different. She has a cow print duvet on the edge of her bed. She has a picture of a Highland cow on the wall. Honestly, she likes cows.

Great breed of cow. That's what you've got, yeah. So what she wanted to do on the walls is sort of a top detail where it looks like the top of her room is covered in cow hide. And she got a tutorial off of Pinterest, no doubt, and filmed her making this happen. Now, here's a photo of the end result. Oh, my God.

Of this. That's disgusting. It's poos. It's straight up looks like. It's been a poo explosion. Someone's taken their hands, because this is how she did it, right? She got a sock, smeared white, and then smeared brown, and then dark brown. So she's trying to make the pattern

of a Highland cow. Yeah, but it looks like she's put her hand up her butt and then smeared it on the wall. Straight up, that's what it looks like. It looks like the inside of a toilet bowl, everyone's saying. That's not good. I wouldn't have put that online. I would have just painted over it and

just left it. It's actually quite hard to tell from the TikTok whether or not she likes it. I think she does. Wait, so this isn't a DIY fail for her. I don't know that she's quite landed on how poo-like it looks. Right, okay. I want to know because I know we are a nation of DIY people. It's in our blood.

Yeah. I'll rip down a wall. We love putting our, jumping in the deep end. Yeah, we love putting our mark on our houses and being like, yeah, I'm going to do a little DIY project. I'm going to build a little something, something. I'm going to renovate this little furniture. When did a DIY project go wrong?

And when did it just not come out? Oh, yeah, maybe you drilled through some power or some drainage and dug up a pipe. it doesn't just have to be aesthetically wrong like it was ugly and I hated it. Or maybe you tried

a new paint style, you know, with a sponge and you do little waves. See, I'm thinking of doing that lime wash. Yeah,

I see. We think you're doing it. You do that and you put in the mix and then you gotta go. Professionals. Leave that to the professionals. I am a professional.

That's too hard for a DIYer, a part-time DIYer. Maybe you were like, oh my god, let's open up the space and let's knock down this wall and then you're like, oh, that's a load-bearing wall, isn't it? The roof's sagging now.

0800-DARLS-NM, we want to take your calls this morning. Text in 9696. When did a DIY project just go bad? We're talking about the DIY disasters that you have experienced. A woman tried to do a beautiful mural of a cow print on her wall, and it looks like she smeared poops. Yeah.

It looks like smeared poops. Not great. Jason, you've had a DIY fail? Yeah. I was painting, like I found this paint colour, it was like a sunset colour, so I thought it was nice, and I was going to do it like a feature wall through the kitchen to the dining room.

Lovely. It sounds lovely. And when it actually dried, it just was like this bright plural orange. What have I done? You were looking for a deeper sort of rusty orange. Yeah, like a mustardy... Yeah, like a darkish kind of thing, but it was plural as.

So what wall was... what room was this in? It was like the kitchen, and it went through to the dining room. So quite primary rooms. Yeah, right. So it was like a road cone colour. Um, I don't know how this, like, like kind of like, it was like an orange brick, but like it's nice.

That even sounds horrible. Listen to, even the, the, the, it's a, you can still hear a bit of panic in your voice. It's not, it's not what we wanted. It's not. It's bringing back memories, you know? Did you paint over it? Yeah, you painted over it. I painted over it in white.

Oh, yeah. You know what? You give up on colour quite quickly, eh? Yeah. I'm not a designer. Too bad. How many layers, how many coats of white did it take to hide the orange monstrosity?

Oh, I used a whole 10 litre just for one word. Yeah. Oh, my God. I love that you've been scared off colour. I haven't painted since. It was just like, nah, this is first and last. Yeah. Oh, my God. I love that you've been scared off colour. I haven't painted since. It was just like, nah, this is first and last. Yeah. Oh, Jason, amazing.

Hey, thank you for sharing, though, because it does take a lot to... To own up to your disasters. You know, it's a story that I tell at drink-ups. You know, it's good. Yeah, and every time he walks past something orange, he goes... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have a little bit of a moment and take a breath. Talking about your DIY disasters, when things went wrong, he goes... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a little bit of a moment and take a breath. Talking about your DIY disasters, when things went wrong, went a bit ugly, went a bit skew-iff, there was a woman who tried to paint cowhide on the wall and it looks like she smeared poops. It didn't work. It didn't work. Angela, what DIY disaster did you have?

Or was this your husband? Yeah, it was my husband, who has never worked on cars before, has no interest. He decided he had this really old, banged-up ute, and he decided that he was going to change the brake pads. For what reason, I have no idea, because we have a really good mechanic.

And so he changed the brake pads, and then him and my two-year-old son went for a test drive. And at some point during the test drive he found he had no brakes. Why's the son in the car? Who's like, I've just tampered with the brakes. I know who's going to love this. My two-year-old. Safety.

I know. So somehow luckily he managed to get the ute on that test drive to the mechanic. We've got this amazing mechanic that's why I can't understand why he did it. And the mechanic then fixed him right there and then on the spot for us. Oh, beautiful.

It's like when you go to a hairdresser and you've cut your own hair and they're like, why'd you do this? Now I've got to sort it out. I know. And I only found out afterwards about him taking my son. I was livid because I was at work.

I bet you were. I'm surprised he even told you to be honest. I wouldn't have told him. Yeah. Or he had to Because I had to pay The mechanics bill Oh my god

I just said I left the kid at home With a bloody episode Of Paw Patrol Yeah You would have been In less trouble Than taking them in the car With the no brakes

Angelo thank you Some messages in I tried to install Fake grass in my garden Instead of luscious Looking grass It was giving 90s astroturf

Yeah Ripped it all out A week later Yeah Like a tennis pitch Yeah So there is some Instead of luscious looking grass, it was giving 90s AstroTurf. Yeah. Ripped it all out a week later. Yeah. Like a tennis pitch. Yeah. There is some fake grass that looks quite good. Yeah, my brother-in-law's got fake grass and it does.

It looks good. It's all good until someone comes over at a party and drops a ciggy butt and it burns your fake grass. It burns down. And then you've just got melty holes in your fake grass. Our bathtub was leaking, so my do-it-yourself-for-husband, who's an electrician, not a plumber, decided to fix it himself. We were selling our house at the time, and the wall on the other side of the bathroom

had a huge watermark from where it had leaked from the DIYer, not the dripping tap, because when he took it off, it just shot high-pressure water at the far wall. I don't stuff with water or power. Especially at the same time. Together they're a lethal combination. Truly. This I like as a PSA in general for those jib anchors.

Where you want to hang something on the wall. Now it's alright if it's a weightless... Picture frame. Yeah. A very light picture frame. Nothing with any certain amount of weight on it. Never. I will say never three more times.

Never. Never, never, never use it to hang a television. Oh, guys. Putting a TV on a wall with one of those expanding jib plugs. There was no stud in only one place. So we thought, it'll be okay. Guess what? No, it wasn't.

Wouldn't hold, fell off the wall, broke the TV, and we've still got the hole in the wall. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah, that's not good. And this is always, they said, we'd only just moved in two days beforehand. It's always then. Yeah.

Because you want to hang the TV. Yeah, you want to get it up. Yeah. It was like both of us when we went and saw Hayley's Renos where the TV's going to go. Fletch and I both took a breath to say at the same time, you're going to want to put some studs in there. Put some more studs in the back there so you can just hang the TV

weight right on it. And I appreciated the advice and we have done that. But we've got a professional to do it. If you liked today's podcast tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends just pretend you did.

Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.