ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 27th March 2024

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Arnie's Surgery  Hayley's License  Top 6: Dangerous Sounding Things  Silly Little Poll!  Hedgehogs  Hayley & Momoa  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. One minute past six. I don't know what tickled my fancy more about that news broadcast. Dr. Ben Beaglehole or hearing Roger Tuivasi-Sheck back at fullback for the Warriors.

You know, he's a Daily M winner in that position. I don't know what that means for him. We've got fullbacks up the wazoo. We've tried him at centre. We've got some injured fullbacks. He's back at fullback. Let's go back to Beagle Hole. Beagle Hole.

That's actually the name, yeah. Dr. Ben Beagle Hole. He's a doctor, yeah. I wish I had a really silly last name. Sproul. Great conversation starter. Sproul Hole. Sproul Hole.

Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like adding hole to it. Fletcher Hole. Even Smith starter. Sproul. Sproul hole. Sproul hole. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like adding hole to it. Fletcher hole. Even Smith hole. Smith hole. It would sound like I was a Smith. No, because it goes, I'd be hole Smith. And that means that my people were professionals in the hole industry.

In the hole digging back in the day. Yeah. I mean, that name, he's either going to be a superhero or a supervillain. Dr. Ben Beagle. Who's a superhero. Something's going to go wrong in his laboratory. And he's going to end up with some sort of superpowers. Become a mutant.

All right, on the show today, 8 o'clock, 5 on time. Still hasn't been won. We all thought this would have gone by now. Like, we've had some really close times. You've got to be bang on five seconds to win the five. What if it just never goes? $50,000. Should we call up Laura?

Was it Laura? Maybe we call up Laura who got the 5.01 and be like, hey, look. Just have it. No, we're going to keep going. Just have the 50. We're going to keep going until we give this away. $50,000, 8 o'clock this morning with five on time. The top six on the way?

Yeah. There's these new things happening in the central North Island. 10-minute earthquakes. At like Mount Ropihi. Yeah, around the volcanic plateau. I read this this morning. This would have been nice to know when I was hiking the crossing two weeks ago. You didn't feel a 10-minute earthquake?

I didn't feel any earthquakes. And apparently locals have just said, well, that's something new. Do you know, I was sitting... That's a very relaxed attitude towards these long earthquakes. Yeah, 10-minute slow earthquakes. There was a moment where I was sitting on the ground near the red crater, sheltering from the wind, waiting for it to clear. And I said to my friend, is your ass really hot?

He's like, yeah. And then I took my glove off and put my hand on the ground, and it was like hot. Oh, God. The ground was hot. And I was like, cool. Cooking your tush. It's like little seat warmers.

With set on this like area. You're on a volcano next to a crater, and you're surprised that the ground's warm. I wasn't surprised the ground was warm. It was just so cold. You've got to stop hanging out on these bloody volcanoes. You should try to average a volcano

a month this year. That would be exciting. Yeah, that'd be fun. You're trying to kill this guy? Who's going to push the buttons? I'm going to do a hike

this weekend. Is it a volcano? I don't know. Yes. Because Rangitoto, there's an easy volcano. Oh, you've done that. That's a fairy.

Go up there. Where else have we got volcanoes? What's my favourite volcano? I love that. Rangitoto. Rangitoto. Rangitoto!

Anytime I'm in the ocean, I just have to scream its name. Really? Yeah. Okay. Well, the top six dealing with this activity around the central plateau.

Yeah, the top six other dangerous things that central plateau residents might just be like, oh, that's something new. Okay. Well, a beloved celebrity Oh, that's something new. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, a beloved celebrity has revealed that last week

they had three open heart surgeries and a pacemaker fitted. Oh, wow. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh, Arnold. I mean, I only bring up this story because I know that you do a terrible Impression of him I have been doing a daily practice Have you? Yeah

Hang on Hang on I'm just gonna drop in I've gotta drop down What was his son in recently? He was He's been in two things He was in

The Boys spin-off That's right That's what I'm thinking of Gen V He was in The Boys spin-off I'm very proud Of my boy

Mine's so much Better than Vaughn's I don't know if it is I think Vaughn's The new Hayley Of the show I think Vaughn's The new Hayley

He can't do it In Arnie You can't do it the way I do it. Do it. It's not getting better. It's getting always better. It's not like if I had an acting... Are you crazy?

You can't hear how good this is? The word crazy, you did crazy well. Crazy. Are you crazy? Oh my God. You're making us all worse at our Arnie voice. I'm not. I am lifting you up.

What about if you say, I had three open heart surgeries last week. Oh, my God. Leave me alone. I had three open heart surgeries. It's getting better, guys. Patrick Swayze is going to be the next White Lotus. Is he? Patrick Schwarzenegger.

Schwarzenegger, not Patrick Swayze. Patrick Swayze. Swayze, he's dead. Can we have a moment of silence for Patrick Swayze, please? Also, Patrick Swayze was a rogue. A moment of silence for Patrick Swayze. Patrick Swayze. Swayze, he's dead. Can we have a moment of silence for Patrick Swayze, please? Also, Patrick Swayze was in Roadhouse. A moment of silence for Patrick Swayze. Patrick Swayze was in Roadhouse. Which they've remade.

Apparently. It's terrible. Yeah, with Jake Gyllenhaal, haven't they? Yeah. Post Malone's an MMA fighter, isn't he? Oh, my God. That's crazy. I have not watched it.

I love action. I haven't watched it either. Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper. No, it's not getting better. Chopper. It's not getting better. Get to the chopper.

What did he have? So he's had open heart surgery and a pacemaker. Yeah. The dude, like, he's 76. 76. Hammered his body with all the bodybuilding and stuff. And the roids. Yeah.

He's never really said he... Has he ever admitted the roids? Not in that do never really said he has he ever admitted has he ever admitted the roids? Not in that doco I don't think he mentioned it did he? Oh I think it was insinuated in that

documentary about him. The Netflix. Right. Arnold Schwarzenegger recalls his past steroid use 100 milligrams a week he told the outlet of his testosterone usage

and then three Dianabol a day so that was 15 milligrams a day. You have a little diddle there, name. No, it's little balls. Oh, it's little balls. That would look funny. How many more do you want to leave?

That's the balls. To the chopper. To the chopper. Next on the show. An art teacher in Canada is in trouble. And it's not for smoking weed at lunchtime. Although we were not wearing a bra. Not for hooking up with a student.

Not for, no, definitely not. It's always the art teachers. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A art teacher in Montreal, Canada's in trouble. Guesses? We've guessed. No bra. It wasn't no bra.

It wasn't hooking up with students. It wasn't no bra. It wasn't talking with students. It wasn't smoking weed. A nude drawing for young adults. No. Did they not pose? Stealing art supplies. So the lawsuit that

parents of 10 students are bringing against the teacher comes to 1.5 million Canadian dollars. Jeez. $155,000 per plaintiff. What's this teacher done? The teacher has made the kids at art class spend a lot of time drawing portraits.

Yep. Oh, God. Some self-portraits, some artistic interpretations, and then sold them. Oh, no. As their own work. Oh, my God. Amazing. How old are these kids?

It says high school, but the drawings are terrible. Kids generally suck at art. I know. Whenever you go around to someone's house, if they've got kids and they've got all this stuff on the fridge, you're like, they would never fly in my house. I've got to practice. Have you never seen the things where it's like, this was year got kids and they've got all this stuff on the fridge, you're like, they would never fly in my house. I've got to practice. Have you never seen the things where it's like

this was year one of my drawing and this was year two. Yeah, I know, but it's not getting better. Put it in a drawer or a box, you know, like don't put it on the fridge. It's ruining your whole kitchen aesthetic. Yuck. Yeah. I would critique hard. If my kids brought that, I'd be like you're not even in the lines. Try again.

Stuff like that. Positive encouragement to get them to be better. I don't know if that kind of parenting style worked though, did it? For a whole generation. Restaurant reviewer and absolute heartless shrew, Jesse Mulligan said his wife will literally bin it in front of the kids. What? So it should. It's trash.

She's the loveliest lady with apparently a mean streak. Yeah, but I imagine they've got a nice home with a beautiful aesthetic. Yeah, she doesn't want to ruin the aesthetic. And I get that. I'm on her side. We have it sometimes, you know, because our house is all about the aesthetic. And our nieces and nephews will draw us stuff.

I'm going to say it's crap. And then you're like, oh, thanks so much. Guys, this sucks. No, I don't say that. You wouldn't say it to their face. I would never say that. But it's not going in It's not going up

Yeah So how I might actually Get in touch with your Nieces and nephews In a non-creepy manner Yep And encourage them

For you to send photos Of whereabouts Their stuff is in the house Why would you do that? Or like next time You put up some photos On Instagram of your house I'll tag in their parents

And say Where's that artwork That the kids Lovingly made Little Timmy house, I'll tag in their parents and say, where's that artwork that the kids love and we made you? I'll say it is in a special place. In a landfill somewhere in Auckland. You know what? You need made for you by

a kid, a key holder. A wall mounted key holder. Oh my God. I'm pretty sure my dad still has the table my brother made in woodwork for next to his couch. Oh, my dad's got a paperweight. Because our parents didn't grow up in aesthetically pleasing houses. They grew up in practical houses.

And they're like, that's perfect. I'll put a thing on it. And now it is a thing that holds a thing. It's another reason to not have kids is the aesthetic of their crap. You know what I mean? Also, like, when I think about sort of my house and how I want it to look, all the toys, they're so not of the colour thing.

Yeah. You know? It's crap. It's junk. Do you walk into your kid's room and think, wow, what an aesthetic? No, I just... It's full of crap.

No, I don't care about it. I'm just like, oh, if they like that stuff, that's all right. Really? Yeah. You're making your house look worse. It stuff, that's all right. Really? Yeah. You're making your house look worse. It surprises you that I worry about the aesthetic? Doesn't know. I mean, if I was allowed all that crap in my room, I'd have it.

We've got my Lego shelf in our room at the moment. Oh, yeah. Because it was in what was the spare room, which is now not spare. It's being occupied by an elderly Asian man. Yep. Who I'm related to. Yeah, who you're related to. Made it sound like you'd adopted an

elderly Asian man. We kind of have. It feels some days like I really, really have. And he needs a thorough disciplining. And so the Lego shelf's in our room and it drives Sade nuts but I love seeing the Millennium Falcon Park there. The Millennium Falcon? I love seeing some starships from Star Wars there. The Millennium Falcon? I love seeing some

starships from Star Wars there. Do you want to buy a full set of Lord of the Rings figurines? Nah, Lord of the Rings I never really got into in that way. But haven't you hidden those away? They're just in like three storage containers. They've been, what do you call it? Not logged, but Aaron's

made like a catalog. Oh my God, really? Yeah. But they're definitely not going up in the house, are they? Absolutely not. Yeah. It's not the aesthetic. Poor dude has spent how many years painstakingly building what I will say is a very detailed,

very beautiful house and you won't let him put up his Lord of the Rings face. No, I will not. Next on the show. Hayley Sproul, radio presenter, TV host, actor, musician, comedian. Modest. Modest. Model. Modest role model.

Model. Model and modest. Inspirer. Celebrant. Perspirer. Perspirer. Inspirer. Inspirer.

Spiralizer. Celebrant. We need to talk about the last one. The Celebrant bit? The Celebrant bit. I'm not quite sure what to do. I have a famous Sproul nundrum. Okay.

Because I was a Celebrant. I became a Celebrant in 2019. Right. A great year for public gatherings. Really good. End of 2019, I think. October 2019, I became a celebrant for my friends. Specifically, they asked me. Right.

They wanted you to work at their wedding. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, they did. And then so 2020 was their wedding. That was pointed. I can say that because I literally know for a fact that both of them are asleep right now.

You worked hard. It was a lot of fun. Celebrating, you get it out of the way, you're done. You get to do the cute part. You're up there. You get to do it at the start of the day. The MC tools in and over and sick of hearing from you. Yeah.

They just want you to shut your trap. Well, you've just got to stay sober. That was the only annoying thing. Yeah, you don't. Well, yeah, semi-sober. I was a celebrant. I was like, you couldn't even understand a word I was saying. I don't think it was legal.

So 2020 was their wedding. It got delayed. 2021 was their reschedule. It got delayed because of COVID. 2022, they went, oh, we'll just change it and we'll go smaller. 23, they made the decision to actually just have the wedding they originally wanted. And then I finally did it. So I was renewing this license for nearly four years.

And were they paying for that? No, it was my gift to them. It was my original gift to them was to become a celebrant. How much does it cost to renew every year? It was like $200-ish. No, no, no. $200-ish at the start. And then it was $80 a year to renew.

It sounds like you could invoice them for that. I invested quite a lot of money into it. But I didn't want to do it for anyone else. I was like, I'll just do it for friends. What about Fletch and Margaret? Margaret didn't want me to renew. My fictitious ex-partner. Yeah.

I've got a restraining order. She's spawning it off again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've got a restraining order. She's not coming back. She's also jealous of me because of our natural connection. Yeah. The charisma that we share.

She doesn't like it. Yeah. She's threatened by other women. But would you, so you are a celebrant? So in October, it was time to renew and I'd done that wedding and I'd been approached by quite a few people to do their weddings and I was like, I don't want to.

And so I let it lapse, which means I can't renew, I've got to do the full application. Right. Literally two nights ago, my friends who are engaged approached me to be their celebrant and I didn't tell them that I had,

I'm not a celebrant anymore. You did a lapse. And in my, I'll say, lightly intoxicated state, I said absolutely I would. Oh, why'd you say that? Now. You have to do it. I've got to do the full.

$200. Multiple references. You've got to go in for like a check and a chat to make sure you're not a psychopath. How close are these friends? Very close.

Why can't psychopaths marry people? Yeah, they can't. It'd be neat. Imagine that. You take this person to be your wife. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Or maybe just do it. Ah, I've got fire. Yeah, yeah. So now, yeah, I've got to become a celebrant again. You've done it all. You're in the system. They just pull out the file. No, but've got fire. Yeah. So now, yeah, I've got to become a celebrant again.

You've done it all. You're in the system. They just pull out the file. No, but that's how, that's the renewal. But I let it lapse. I let it lapse and then literally. Oh, no. Have they set a date?

Yeah. Tell them you're away. No, this is some of my closest friends. Oh, yeah, just tell them you're away. So that I don't have to renew my license. I don't go to their wedding. Yeah, you'll save so much money. You're welcome.

Well, it's an away wedding. Oh, yeah, there you go, you see. Maybe I just won't go. Okay. Sorry, guys. I'm not going to be a celebrant. And I'm not even attending. It's the only answer.

Yeah, because you can't say no to the celebrant and then you turn up to the wedding. Because then you're there. Yeah. And then you judge the celebrant, too. What do you do if something happens to your celebrant like last minute?

You have to, you ride in and then you can get a replacement. Oh, but what if you like handpicked your celebrant and then you get a dud? It happens.

It happens. Is it like a court-appointed lawyer if you can't afford a defence lawyer? No, no, no, no. Your celebrant can offer someone else.

Oh, right. And then you just gotta change the paperwork. See, I know all the legal BS. It's just... Right. Do you need a reference for this new... I do.

Because Vaughan and I could give you a reference. Yeah, what would you say? To support me being a public servant. I'd say a bit much. And probably would try to make their wedding about herself. But don't let her drink too early. Yeah, drinking problem. If you want a low-key background celebrant,

maybe not the one for you. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Lovely fade there, actually, Fletch. Lovely fade. Oh, my God.

Now, news that scientists are seeing a new type of earthquake at Mount Ruapehu lasting 10 minutes at a time. They're trying to understand the details of why this is happening. They started these 10 minute mini like, I don't think you can feel them. Low, very low, yeah, very low on the arctis scale. And slow moving. They've been

happening since mid-Feb. Which would have been nice to know when I did the Tongariro crossing just two weeks ago. Yeah. But I guess you're tramping on an active volcano system, aren't you So what do you expect That's the risk my king

And it's not even dormant No When you come down the Tongariro crossing You can see the vents Still steaming From where there was that eruption 2012 Or something

That shone up those giant rocks I'll say it 2012 or something? Has it shone up those giant rocks? Yeah. I'll say it. I can remember. The 90s had some good eruptions. That's when Urupe who fully erupted. 95 I believe was a beauty as a kid and I remember the ash being on the

cars and stuff outside and on the roof of our house. In New Plymouth, there was ash everywhere. If you collect your drinking water off your roof, don't drink it. Let it rain and flush that out and there's ash. Yikes. But it's good for you. Crazy.

Good for you, isn't it? Bit of volcanic ash. Bit of volcanic ash. Good for you. Clean you out. I don't know that it is. Flush out the system. Well, it's worryingly like locals are just like, oh, yeah, that's something new.

They live, I guess, on an active volcanic plateau. Yeah. So it takes a bit to rattle these hard bars. Yeah. They're like, bring it on. I might see a dry. I've got the carrots to harvest. Yep.

But good carrot country around there. Good potatoes. Yeah. Well, good soil. Great volcanic soil. Rich soil. And just the right cold climate for a good take. Such a beautiful part of the country.

It is gorgeous. What isn't, to be fair? Gorgeous. Top six. East Auckland. Yeah. No, you're dead right there. That and Gulf Harbour. We're giving Shannon shit because she lives in East Auckland. Imagine arriving in Auckland at night and whoever picked you up

took you to Gulf Harbour on the North Shore or East Auckland and you were just like, oh, not a great first impression of this beautiful country. We're so far away. Are we going to get off that plane? We're straight to Pukaranga Plaza. No, you've not gone east enough. I want you to go further east.

Howick. Yeah, now we're talking. The sky tower looks so small. And good morning to our East Auckland listeners. Yeah, good morning. It's nothing against you. We're just giving Shannon a bit of... We're ribbing Shannon. We're ribbing Shannon.

We're ribbing Shannon. But move. She's the beast from the east. I'm all that? The beast from the east. That's a great unit, mate. The beast from the east. Are you happy

with that nickname? Change it in the group chat, please, Jarrod. Beast from the east. Yeah, anything that's not bald baby bird, I'm happy with. Or bin juice

or bald baby bird. Well, now you're the beast from the east. She's the beast from the east. Love that. Top six other things the locals of the Central Plateau might relaxingly describe as something new. Number six on the list,

100-year weather events every year. Yeah. That's something new. Yeah. Yeah. Can we get a deep, sort of monotone, Central Plateau residents something new from everybody? That's something new.

That's something new. That sounds like something new. Number five on the list of the top six other things the locals of the central plateau might relax and describe as something new. AI becoming self-aware and building its own robot army. Jesus. That's new.

That's bloody something new. Oh, well. There's something new. Yeah, there he is. He's down there shitting. What are you? A bit distracted there. Number four on the list of the top six other things

the locals of the central plateau might relax and describe as something new. Godzilla coming out of the ocean after being awoken from hibernation in the Mariana Trench and attacking New Zealand. Jesus. That's a video. I haven't seen a bloody lizard that big for a while.

That's a video. Number three on the list. A lizard that big. Godzilla. How big was that bloody lizard we saw when we went to Indonesia, Cheryl? It was a tomato dragon, Kevin. It's bigger than that. I reckon it's about that big. Godzilla. How big was that bloody lizard we saw when we went to Indonesia, Cheryl? It was a tomato dragon,

Kevin. Oh, it's bigger than that. I reckon it's about that big. Seemed like it at the time. Number three on the list of the top six other things the locals of the central plateau might relaxingly describe

as something new. A comet appearing in our night skies that experts tell us is on a collision course with Earth. Oh, yeah. Is it a souvenir?

It's a souvenir. It's something new, isn't it? Not seen that before. Something new. Number two on the list of the top six other things locals of the Central Plateau might describe as something new. Alien invasion. That's new. That's something new.

Who the bloody hell is this green fella? That's something new. Look at the size of his bloody head compared to his body. That's new. Skinny bloody arms. He's not going to be very good at digging up the potatoes, is he? Something new. Bloody spherical silver thing slowly descending out of the sky with lights and sounds.

Probably me and the anus. That's something new. Well, no, it's not actually. That's not new. That's not new. Me and Cheryl. Don't ask too many questions. That's something I've done before and I quite enjoy.

It's nice. No, no. Well, it's Cheryl doing it. It's not good, eh? I've got a taste for it when I've got my doctor's degree. Carry on. Next one. Number six on the list of the top six other things the locals of the central plateau might

relax and describe as something new. The biblical reckoning is four horsemen of the apocalypse right across our skies and the Antichrist and our Lord, Saviour Jesus battle for our souls in the ultimate end of the battle of good and skies and the Antichrist and our Lord, Saviour Jesus battle for our souls and the ultimate end of the battle of good and evil. Bloody hell. Who are you going to go with?

I don't know. Something you want to know. How long is this going to take? How long? I don't know. You know, boys, how long is this going to take? I've got a bloody list of the mile long things I need to do. Oh, this is the end of the world, Dad.

Oh, bloody hell then. We'll all go and get what I can get done done. You let me know when the end of the world's here. That's today's top six. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, the show thanks to McCafe. Make McCafe your first stop. Great things brewing, and maybe you could pick up New Zealand's favourite coffee.

You stole my segue. Yeah, you said you were going to give her a segue. He said he was going to set me up. He said, I'm about to mention McCafe. It's going to be the perfect segue. That's a segue. That's not the segue. You did the segue.

I did the segue. Okay, okay. Here's the perfect segue. The show brought you, thanks to McCafe, your first up, Great Things Are Brewing. God, that was so natural. I could go a coffee. No, so you've also done the, you're taking it all. You did the segue

You did the segue too You did the segue too Here's the segue Here's the segue Fletch Vaughan and Hayley It's Taylor Swift Fletch Vaughan and Hayley On ZM

The show Thanks to McCafe Make McCafe your first stop Great things are brewing Now speaking of coffee Now that's I would have picked up The speaking of coffees Thank you Click picked up the speaking of coffees.

Thank you, click clicks from the producers. No, you're getting a nah. You set it up. That's unbelievable. Speaking of coffee. This is a toxic workplace. Now, why did you find it a toxic workplace? They kept doing my segues.

They said they'd set me up for segues, but then they would do the segues. They'd do the first part of the segues. Leaving said they'd set me up for segways, but then they would do the segway. They'd do the first part of the segway. Leaving me nothing but scraps. Yeah. Anyway, speaking of coffee. That's the segway I was to do. And now you've hijacked.

The show, Thanks to McCafe, Great Things of Brewing, drive-thru for your morning fix. Now, speaking of a morning fix. Coffee. That was good. No, what are you doing? Let her shut your mouth. Let her hold it. Let her hold it. Shut your mouth.

I was doing nice comedic timing. You've just, you've stuffed it. I almost feel like just going to the ads and just getting out of here. No, so there is a world map that has been made of the most popular coffee drink in every country around the world. Okay. Now, some of these have shocked me. I will say, macchiato is Australia. What's a macchiato?

Is that like the little piccolo? Where it's like a coffee shot and then a bit of foam? I'm going to Google that. Macchiato. Cafe macchiato is an espresso macchiato, espresso coffee with a small amount of milk, usually foamed. So it's not a piccolo because piccolo isn't foamed milk.

It's milky. Yeah, it's hot milk, whereas the macchiato is the froth. The frothy bit. So it's like a piccolo because piccolo isn't foamed milk? It's milky. Yeah, it's hot milk, whereas the macchiato is the froth. The frothy bit. So it's like a mini cappuccino? Yeah, I guess so. Speaking of cappuccino, France cappuccino, Spain cappuccino, Saudi Arabia cappuccino. Grow up!

Italy cappuccino. Really? I would have thought they would have been just a little hard black espresso. That's what Italians do. What's America? Because they love a big filter. Like an Americano. They'll have a big frapper.

Espresso. Espresso in USA. Really? Americano in Mexico. Brazil is a latte. Now if we head over to little old New Zealand Surely Flat white As is Poland

Okay Nope What you got? A mochaccino That's embarrassing It's so embarrassing What we've got there Is an embarrassing

Yes That is We call ourselves Like a coffee country We pride ourselves In our flat whites It's mocha No The mocha's mocha.

The mocha is the best drink. It's coffee and chocolate. It's great. We share this with Japan, the mocha, they love a sweet tea. Bangladesh, the mocha. Okay.

And Vietnam, the mocha. Always. And Vietnam, the mocha. Oh, good, good. Always good coffee in Vietnamese coffee. Oh, Vietnamese coffee. Condensed milk. Yes, they use sweetened condensed milk. And those cat things. What?

The cats. Oh, the cat poos. The cats that eat the berries. Oh, yes. And then poop them out. They're not cats. They're something else. They're like, and they do that in Bali.

Bali. Yeah, I feel bad for the cats. So did New Zealand make the Mochaccino? No, New Zealand made the flat white. Yeah, we made the flat white. The flat white was invented by Derek Townsend at the DKF Cafe in 1984. Well, I'm going to tell everyone to grow up and get a real coffee from that cafe. Do you remember when we had at the time, All Black Captain? Kieran Reid. Kieran Reid. And he came in with his coffee of choice and it was a mocha.

And I was like, brilliant. How embarrassing. No, it's fantastic. How embarrassing. And that's why we never won a World Cup. And that is, that is why.

I think we did win the World Cup. We actually won it a few times. We won it at the helm. Yeah, I think we did. Did we? Yeah. Must have been the mochaccino. Must have been powered by a McCaffey mochaccino.

Must have been a bit of chocolate. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly Little Pole today dealing with the fact that if a TV show starts to have two bigger gaps between seasons, this will put you off the show. Euphoria has been delayed. Season 1 came out in 2019. Season 2 came out in... Okay, so 2019, then 2022, the start of 2022.

Finished by the end of February 2022. So we're over two years since the last season of Euphoria. In season three, they say they're committed to making it, but because everybody in Euphoria has become a mega superstar, they're just having trouble getting people all together. And it may be impossible. Angus passed away. Jacob

Elordi's like massive. And maybe in Wellington. Yeah, what's the deal here? Along with Andy Sandberg. Is that part of the what's filming at the moment? Minecraft's all in Auckland.

Minecraft's in Auckland. That's in Auckland. But has Taika Waititi started the Time Bandits? Is that what Lisa... That was ages ago. That's done. That's in post-pro. Wasn't that Lisa Kudrow?

Wasn't that why Lisa Kudrow was here? Oui, oui. Oui, oui. Yeah, okay. You know, that's long gone. So maybe it's something else we don't know about? We are a cinematic hub as a country. And yet I'm not in any movie.

That's crazy. Why isn't she in my movie? God, it's like you paid that $40,000 for an acting degree for nothing. You just end up working on radio where no one can see you. No one can see me, and I'm just talking shit. It's just crazy. You could run a couple of lines just before nine this morning if you wanted to get something out there.

Oh, yeah, I could. I could. I'll give it a go. It's sort of an audio application of sorts. We asked today for silly little polls. Do you get put off TV shows if they're too long between seasons? 80% of people said yes. All you need to do is watch their

YouTube recap before it starts again if it's a little foggy because someone's always going to make one some super fan and if it's a good show it's worth the wait

what was the wait time on Game of Thrones last season sometimes it was like a year and a half I mean those big shows Lord of the Rings when are we going to

get into the next one later this year? Yeah. I mean, Severance, but that was all actor strikes and stuff. Severance, hanging out for that.

Same. They better not mess that up. How long was the break between curb seasons? Years? Yeah, there's been a big break. Yeah,

there was a big break between a couple of them, yeah. Literally, it took five years on one stage. Oh, Arrested Development,

season four, that was like 10 years later or something like that. Yeah. But again, cult shows, literally took five years off the stage. Oh, Arrested Development Season 4, that was like 10 years later or something like that. Yeah. But again, cult shows, those ones. Yeah, exactly. We'll wait. So if 80% of people said yes, it puts you off, 20% said no,

Erin said, I literally end up forgetting about them. Yeah, that's the thing. Unless you see something on social media pop up, you don't know it's back to you. Mason said, yes, I don't want to wait two plus years for Yellowstone to get their shit together. At least give me a 6666 spin-off about Jimmy's time.

What am I up to? I think I'm in season three somewhere. Right. Finishing season three. I'm just kind of slowly chipping away at that. Yeah, it's the show. Who's the old cowboy? This week, earlier in the States,

he got kicked off a flight because he's an anti-vaxxer and didn't want to sit next to a passenger wearing a mask. Right. And, like, just kicked up this big stink because he's like, Oh, I'm not sitting next to them. They're wearing a mask. Oh. It's like, you probably feel safe to do.

Forry J. Smith, who plays Lloyd Pierce, has been left stranded in Houston because he got kicked off a plane because he didn't want to sit next to someone with a mask. He wasn't meant made to wear a mask. He just didn't want to sit next to someone with a mask. He wasn't meant made to wear a mask. He just didn't want to sit next to someone with a mask. And then I think they might have inferred he was drunk and he said, I've only had a couple. Of course, what every drunk person says. Matt said, it really grinds my gears,

especially when you buy in so hard. Anything more than six months and I'm giving up. Also need to start the show all over again to remember what happened. It's very annoying, says Jess, but I'm going to still watch the next season when it eventually comes out if I love the show. But then I think about people that, like, you've started

watching Succession. Yes. And you're going to be able to watch all of it at once. Uninterrupted. Uninterrupted, no season breaks. I did the same with Breaking Bad. I know, and that's so cool. It's so good. The season just rolls on And they're timeless

Succession's a lot though Sometimes you need a break But it might be like a two week break I take little breaks I'm not watching it every day Yeah Tessie says Because I have ADHD

And I'll no longer be able to be hyper fixated on it So she needs fresh content To be hyper fixated on Catherine said Yellowstone better get this shit together or I'll boycott it on principle actually I probably won't I'll just be happy

when it does come out well apparently we were told we had lots of messages about Yellowstone when is it coming back? like should I be just slowing down my watching of Yellowstone

to time it perfectly? is it season 5? I think they did two parts of season 5 am I right in five? I think they did two parts of season five. Am I right on that? Yeah, season five had two parts, so it's season six. Such a good show. Look, that Tyler Sheridan's also made a heap of other shows.

Just Google all the other shows he's done. They've kind of got a Yellowstone vibe to them. Not as cool and not as picturesque. Mayor of Kingstown's really good. Does he do that? Jeremy Renner, he wrote that. That's good. Is it Kate Winslet?

No, that's Mayor of East Town. Oh, those names are too close to each other. That was the Jeremy Renner one about the town in Michigan that only has prisons. The whole industry has prisons. He did Lioness. That was really good with Zoe Saldana. He's done heaps.

Yellowstone season six, no date. Just at some stage. Yeah, right. Yellowstone, get me date just at some stage yeah right Yellowstone get me wrong can't wait for it jeez Louise everyone loves a bit of Yellowstone

so there you go that's in a little pile great play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley um okay do you remember we said last year

during Christmas and I hadn't got my nephew a present and I ordered her a Mighty Ape and then it got sent to my old address. The house that we sold like ages before, years before. And it got sent there and so

on Christmas Day, on the way to Christmas, I had to go to my old house, walk up to the doorstep. On Christmas Day? Get it. Yeah. And the only reason I knew that it happened because I got that notification from Mighty Ape saying, your package has been delivered.

And I was like, no, sorry, Bob. It's not at work. It's not at home. Yeah. Was because the guy who bought our house off of us had messaged us, had messaged me on Instagram. Yeah. Saying, something's arrived for you at the house.

And I don't know what it is. And he just found you on Instagram. Yeah. Amazing. That had happened, but once before from the same mighty ape. So that's twice.

And I've literally just done it again. I got a text yesterday. It's not their fault. It's your fault. I know this poor guy just keeps on having to say, Hayley, you've literally done it again. For the third time. And I, fault. I know, this poor guy just keeps on having to say, Hayley, you've literally done it again. For the third

time. And I, yeah, I know, poor guy. And he was like, oh my God. Go in and change, you've obviously saved your home address. My mighty ape's wrong. Yeah. You need to go into your settings and change your addresses. Third time, I think this could almost be the fourth time this has happened as well. Oh my God. If I was this guy, I wouldn't

even tell you. I'd chuck it in the bin or I'd open it and see if it was cool and keep it. I know. I know. Yeah, what was it? Do you know what's the embarrassing bit? It's protein bars. No, he's not keeping those, is he? Well, I almost was like, because he was like, do you want me to forward it on? Wait, Mighty Ape do protein?

I thought they did books and stuff. Yeah. They do everything. Right. It's particular protein bars that I really love. Wait, I thought you were talking about your nephew's Christmas present. No, no, no. Isn't this guy like seven? You're like, hey, bulk up, you little weakling. String bean. Time to become a man,

Jackson. No, no, that was Christmas. This was yesterday. Oh my God, and you keep doing it. Message me again. It's the end of March. Mighty Ape hates you. Send a photo of the box. He said, I can forward it to you tomorrow.

And I was like, I can't ask you to do that. So now I've got to go to his workplace and pick it up. This poor guy. Honestly, I'm so sorry. Everybody hates doing admin. This is why you don't do like, you know, if you sell anything online, you don't do pickups. Yeah. Because then you've got to go out of your way during your day to meet you, hand it over.

Do you know what, though? I was so nosy. I was like, oh, I wonder, because his message. I was like, I should have a look and see if I can see the old house. Yeah. See how it's keeping. Nah, no photos of the old house. No, right.

I think you need to buy him a gift. Well, I almost was like, keep the protein bars. He doesn't want your protein bars. And now you're telling him, it's time to bulk up, you little string bean. Have 24 protein bars, you weed. Does he look like he'd enjoy like a little six pack of like IPAs or something? Or, you know, roses, chocolates or, you know, does he look like some kind of... I don't know.

Maybe I should. Yeah, maybe I should. Oh, he's got a website. Okay, well, do some research, because I think you need to give this guy a gift, because you are punishing him. I think I should do a gift. With your terrible life admin. I know.

And he's just roped into it. Go on the website right now and delete your address. Having bought my house off me. That's your address. Having bought my house off me. That's your homework. Hedgehogs are a pest in New Zealand and while there's hedgehog rescue places, I don't believe they have a place within our ecosystem. It's a controversial opinion.

Are they a pest? In New Zealand they are. I have no idea. They eat our native skinks and lizards. They eat eggs. They love eggs. They're not just hulking lizards. They eat eggs. They love eggs. They're not just hulking hedges all day long. What kind of eggs are they eating?

Birds' eggs. Ground birds' eggs. Number sixes. Do they do sixes? They really struggle with the six of all the eggs. They really struggle with the six with their tiny little mouths. I'd love to see it. Give it a go.

I'd love to see them try a seven or an eight. Can you get an eight? You can get eights. Are they jumbos? Fatty's. Okay. I prefer a seven. I do a seven or an eight. Can you get an eight? You can get eights. Are they jumbos? Fatty's. Okay, I prefer a seven. I'll do a seven. Yeah.

I'll do seven. And you've even been doing the cage eggs, which I think's... Yeah, someone's got to eat them. Shannon just asked how hedgehogs eat eggs, and I said with their mouths. Do you know they have mouths? Have you seen a little hedgehog face? I didn't know they had teeth.

I thought it was just gums. Oh, no, no, no. They got teeth. They were gummies. A hedgehog was just gumming everything. I've just never thought about it, but teeth feels wrong. You have a look. You look up hedgehog aggressive.

Okay, I'll do some research. Hedgehog aggressive. But you've really gone all in against... Why have you gone all in against hedgehogs? Oh, yeah. Because they're a pest. And you know me and pests. You're so cute.

I caught the hugest Norwegian rat the other day. How did you know it was Norwegian? Because it was like, oh, you've got me. Oh, my God. Ouch. Let me go. Oh, I've got to go to you. And it had a little backpack on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just here on its own way. It was a little bit hot. Okay, it was quite cute. No, I even put a photo on my local pest free page. Yeah. Which I'm a member of. God, you've got to get some hobbies, eh?

It really does. Nah, you've got to do your hobbies more. Now, this is meant to be the cutest story about a hedgehog, and you've gone off on a pest tangent. No, no, they're a pest. They're a pest. We're talking about pests. They're a pest.

Get rid of them. They've got a place. I'm not sure if someone said that about you. They do. I've got a meeting with HR later today. He's a pest. They're trying to get rid of me. Yeah, they're trying to eat some eggs, you know.

The Cheshire Wildlife Hospital. So they are native to England, and apparently hedgehog numbers in England are dwindling. Is this like how in Australia possums aren't pests? Yeah, correct. Like they are here? No, they're not. Australians go crazy for possums.

They're like, they're so cute. And they're way more passive in Australia. But they got here and they went a bit feral, like Australians in Queenstown. Are they on the bloody, you know, on the beers, on the boozies maybe? Yeah. The boozy beers. Glass Barbie and her bloody ass ripping around eating everything,

eating the trees, going a bit crazy. So a lovely lady, a good Samaritan, found an abandoned baby hedgehog. And she said it was all curled up in its ball. And you know how when they go in their ball, they're in defense mechanism. So she gently picked it up and put it in a cardboard box with some water and some cat food overnight. She Googled it to give it. You don't give it milk and bread. They love that, but that's so bad for them.

Cat food, bit of meat. Cat food. And they eat that with their teeth. Shannon. So she takes it in the next morning to the Cheshire Wildlife Hospital. To where volunteer Danielle, who is 36, said this woman came in

and she did the right thing. It was lovely. Hedgehog shouldn't be out during the day and that's when she found it. But the hedgehog was a bobble off a hat. It was a pom-pom. The baby hedgehog was not a hedgehog. It was a pom-pom off somebody's winter beanie hat. Yeah, you've got to Google this because the photo is so amazing.

It is. Because the colouring it's like black and brown specks and stuff. But it's not spikes. Like, hedgehogs have spikes. Hard spikes. Look, you'd look for a face to see if it was alive. She must, this woman must have been an old bird. Yeah, like the photo is looking down at the box and there's a little thing of cat food.

And she's lined the box with newsprint, newspaper. Oh my God, it's so great and then there's just a pom pom from a beanie it is literally perfection so good

oh my god oh my god bless I'd imagine soft to the touch yeah not what a hedgehog looks like

but little baby ones are softer before their spikes harden right have you seen like a newborn? They're like tadpoles.

Newborn hedgehog. Yeah, they look awful. Yeah. Got no fur on them. Well, it's worth a Google because it's a very funny photo of a pom-pom in a box at a hedgehog rescue centre. The baby hedgehog I'm looking at looks like one of those things

your mum used to, like a rubber thimble your mum would put on her thumb if she was going to do some like hand sewing of a sothole. It's very specific. It's grippy, it's pink. The photo is so good. It's pink and it's grippy. That's why it looks like that thing.

So there's a massive blog that this Sheila, I'm going to call her Sheila, has written online for the HuffPost. And the article is, I married my high school sweetheart and I don't recommend it. Now, there's complications to the reason why this woman doesn't recommend marrying your high school sweetheart. Now, she is in a same-sex relationship. They met when they were 14, together since they were 15, married at 19, and grew up in a tiny small town in Louisiana. Yeah.

Okay. That happens. Now, they say lots of people marry their childhood sweethearts in small towns in Louisiana, but it was harder for them, obviously, being a same-sex couple with living in quite a narrow-minded community. Yeah, you'd want to get out of there, wouldn't you? You would.

Pretty quick. That was sort of their motivation, was like, let's get married and get the hell to college. We'll go together and we'll never look back. And I was reading this article being like, why are they saying that they don't recommend it? And then they go to college and they're like, oh no, there's lesbians everywhere. There's so many hot lesbians. Many hot, open-minded lesbians. We were the only ones.

Yeah. A little bit that. They said that like, they were, they're still together by the way, so this isn't like a regret that was followed with a divorce. Yeah. But that getting married at 19, they were so young, they didn't have any life experience, they didn't sort of go out and explore

the world they didn't explore the world is it more they regret getting married young then yeah

but also just going like they they're happy together but they just don't know what else could have been yeah and then there's

that little bit that lives in them that's always gonna eat away at them yeah grass is always greener isn't it? Grass is greener, yeah.

And do you know what? It is greener. This is coming from someone who does have an affair brewing. I've got a big affair brewing. Yeah. I'll tell you what. But, you know, like, it's an interesting thing. And I was like, oh, I've got one.

Because I think about my high school sweetheart, Benjamin. I'm like, we wouldn't have worked through life. But do you know people that are still together? I know some high school sweethearts that are still together. One of my high school friends who got together with her boyfriend about the same time I got together with Ben,

they're still together. They just celebrated a wedding anniversary. And they've only, in some cases, they've only ever been with each other, you know, like intimately. I know. Isn't that, that's wild, hey? I sort of get the heart thing. You've found the one, you know, why would you keep looking?

And if it's all going well, why not? But I'm like, man, you gotta, you gotta have a few snacks. Before you get into the mains. Yeah, before the mains. And I think about all the people it took to get to the one that I will most likely marry. Yeah. And it was a journey, a fun journey. Interesting.

Anyway, I thought we should get some stories from our lovely listeners. It's pretty wholesome, isn't it? The good, the bad, the ugly. Because maybe you've married your high school sweetheart and it's just like the best thing and it's been awesome and wonderful the whole time. Or maybe you married them and then you found these problems

where you were just like needing to branch out. I also think about like the amount of homosexual friends I have that kind of made that discovery much after high school. And I'm like, if you married your high school sweetheart and then you're like, oh, I'm definitely gay. You'd be popping down the public toilets at the rugby field. Would you be going for a little bit of a toddle and a little bit of a naughty little walk around maybe?

I think there's an app for that now, Hon. I don't know if you... Is there? Yeah, I don't think they bother with that. Yellow Pages. Grinder Yellow Pages. You've got to flick through the Yellow Pages. Yeah, the Yellow P you... Is it? Yeah, I don't think they bother with that. Yellow pages. Grinder yellow pages. You've got to flick through the yellow pages.

Yeah, the yellow pages of grinder. Okay, gotcha. Okay, well, let's take some calls because it is, it's fascinating. Have you married,

did you marry your childhood sweetheart? Did it work out? Are you still going strong? Someone said the grass is greener where you water it. Now, is that saying it'll always be greener

if you're just going to keep watering it? Yeah, they're saying you need to water your own lawn. Because, yeah, you're not watering it. I'll just try to get a new lawn. You're going to get a full new rollout. Yeah, I'll get a rollout. You need an irrigation system.

I might go a fake lawn. Then I don't even have to deal with it. Don't have to water it, mow it, anything. 0800-DARLES-AT-AM, give us a call now. You can text through 9696. We want to hear your stories of if you married your high school sweetheart. We want to know this morning if you married your childhood sweetheart or if you're still together and did it work out?

I think we've got some cute little stories on the way. Abby, you married your childhood sweetheart. Yeah, I did. Now, so how old were you when you met? I was 16. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so like real fresh high school, classic sweetheart.

And then we got married when I was 21. Oh, wow. I mean, I suppose at that point you'd been together for five years. Well, this is the thing, like, you know, we had been together for a long time. But, like, I was saying to a producer, we met at church. Like, we were very the classic. Oh, jobless, jobless, jobless. Jobless.

The very classic Christian couple who got married super young. And now we're not in church anymore. And so, like, you would sort of expect everything to fall apart. But it definitely is. How good's the heathen life, eh? How good's heathen life? You know what? I'm absolutely loving it.

Welcome to the dark side, babe. It's so good over here. It's cheaper. It's cheaper. It's cheaper. So, well, you met It's so good over here. It's cheaper. It's cheaper. So while you met in church and that was... Yeah. Yeah, wow. Can I ask a question

and you don't have to answer it? What drove a wedge between you and Jesus? Oh, no. How long do we have, guys? Ah, yes. I love it. Actually, we could get any more time. Did you wait for marriage? No, we didn't. But if my parents are listening. Actually, we could get any more time. I just want to, did you wait for marriage? No, we didn't.

But if my parents are listening, yes, we did. We totally did. We did. Are your parents still at the church? Yeah, they are.

Let's get our listen to this. Were they happy with you marrying at 21? They were because they knew his family. I don't think they were thrilled about it,

but like, my parents got married when they were 20, so they kind of didn't have a list to stand on. He's a good Christian boy. He's a good Christian boy. Christians can be hypocrites. And still going strong. That's amazing, Abby. Yeah, so we've got like a two-year-old.

Where happy is Larry? And Larry's a happy guy. And a heathen as well. We'll see you in hell, Abby. I must say Hayley like listening to sex.life has been so interesting

as someone who hasn't had like sexual experiences with anyone other than my husband yeah do you know what it's been so fascinating

you could get an affair brewing Abby thank you so much for the money that you guys are doing you killed Abby thank you please don't encourage Abby

to get an affair brewing I'm just saying. She's listening to the podcast and she's curious. No, I'm like so terrified by the idea of ever breaking up because I just like would not know how to date. Yes, you would. The body knows, Abby. I'm like physically enjoying listening vicariously.

Oh, my God. That's what I was going to say. It's a very vicarious experience, isn't it? I hope you and your heathen husband have been doing the home play. It's not vicarious. It's vicarious. Oh's Brass Bicurious. Oh, Bicurious. Sorry.

Of course. Abby, thank you. And of course, there is a new episode of Sex.Life, the podcast, out today. Yeah, Abby, get amongst her. It's episode seven, wherever you are, podcast. All right, keep your texting calls coming through. We've got so many to get through next. Look at all these cuties.

Tune in tomorrow. We're brewing up a little treat for our long weekend show. We are brewing up treats. But right now we're talking about whether or not you married your high school sweetheart. Yeah. And actually so many of you have. Now, Danny, you've married your high school sweetheart at what age? Is that me?

That's you, Danny. Yes, Danny. Oh, hello. I married him at 28, but we had been together for 13 years at that point. Jeepers! Creepers! Why did you wait to get married? We were just going through the journey of life and kind of making sure

that our relationship was actually stable going to last and that we were actually growing together and when we had realised that yep we were solid, we were doing good, that we were happy to marry. Were there any breaks, any off points in there? Did you have any like

spells away from each other? Just after high school we did have a little bit because we kind of had that after high school like where we just took a bit of a pause but we weren't exactly separated and then kind of found ourselves again and since then have been rock solid, haven't

officially split up at all I love that! How many people did you hook up with when you were on the break? That's none of your business And how many did he hook up with? That is none of your business You don't have on a break. And how many did he hook up with? There is none of your business, Danny. You don't have to answer that. How many was it like?

No, we were together the whole time. Oh, my gosh. Wow. And are people, like, amazed when you tell them that you're high school sweethearts? Yeah, they can't believe that we've been together the years we have because they kind of look at me thinking, nah, surely you can't be, like, together that long. Because you're young. Because you would have been, what, 13, 14 when you met him? Yeah, correct. Wow. I like was a nightmare at that age. I can't imagine growing with someone that whole

time. It's beautiful. And I love that you took your time and went like, oh, let's just see that it's not just young puppy love. We found it better that way. Then we knew we were rock solid and had a journey together rather than marrying young and regretting it later. Love is real, Danny. Danny, thank you. Some messages in. When you married your high school sweetheart

or still with your high school sweetheart? There's tons and tons of them. My mother-in-law and father-in-law met their first day of primary school. My mother-in-law told his mother, who was the teacher, that she was going to marry her son one day and they did and now they've been married for over 40 years. Oh my gosh. That's pretty cute. Wowza. I have so many affairs.

Been with her been with her high school sweetheart since 16, now 38. Wow. 16, 38, yeah wow. 22 years with the high school sweetheart. Met hubby when we were both 17. 14 years married next month.

Wow. Married my high school sweetheart. Been together 12 years. No snacks involved. No snacks. Wouldn't have it any other way. No regrets. They saved their appetite for dinner.

Do you know what? Sometimes dinner is enough. For some people, dinner, they don't need a little snack. Especially if it's a spicy dinner. You know what I mean? A bit of pud. Sometimes you don't get enough dinner and you want a little bit of pud. No, you don't always need pud, Vaughn.

Uh, well. That's why they felt so targeted. You don't get that pocket without having a bit of pud. Play ZM's Fletch for the Daily. Play ZM. Okay,ch for the Nelly. Play ZM. Okay, there's two parts to this. I posted on social media that I, a photo of me and Jason Momoa. And do you know what?

This was at the weekend. This was over the weekend. Yep. It has had more likes than the original photo of me sitting on Jason's knee. And I've got to tell you guys, the comments need to calm down a little bit. Do you want to give a backstory for those that don't know

your obsession with this man? For me, he is the man. And I think he is delicious. And last year, I got to interview him and there was a photo. And at the end I sat on his knee and we took a photo and that was it.

And then everyone since then has been like, Jason Bobo is back in the country. And I was like, I know. Okay, I know. And he's been here for ages. And I was like, it's crazy. We haven't seen each other. And in what context

would we, you know? But over the weekend he was out promoting his Meili vodka named, I imagine, because it rhymes with Ailey, the only thing that I can imagine. It makes absolute sense. It makes perfect sense.

Anyway, everyone was like, what is this photo? Guys, I just went to an event, a does. Anyway, everyone was like, what is this photo? Guys, I just went to an event, a vodka event, and he was there. And I was there. Wait, so you knew this event was happening and you were like, I'm gonna go to this event. Um, I knew the event was happening

and then a series of messages were exchanged and I ended up at the event. Well, who sent the, what were these messages? They were just exchanged. Who sent the first one? No one knows.

So you sent a message. No. I was around, it's confusing, but who knows. It doesn't sound confusing. Does it sound confusing to you, Vaughn? Nothing. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, I literally went to this event and he was there. We chatted a bit and I had a photo and then that was it.

That was the end of the tea. Right. That's the end of the tea. That's it. You need to calm down in the comments, everyone. She's crying. You can't hear her because she's masking it quite well, but she's crying.

She's like, and that's the end of it. Look. That's the end of the tea and she's crying. She's crying. You can't hear it because she's masking it quite well, but she's crying. She's like, and that's the end of it. Look. And that's the end of the tea and she's crying. Did I quickly get in the shower and shave my legs? Yes, I did. Like, what, am I going to turn up with them? Oh, my God, yeah. Harry was.

Who else was there? There was no one I knew. Right. And there were lots of really beautiful people. Right. Was he there with anyone? I just, who's to say? Right.

Who is to say? Was he there with his girlfriend? Who's, I wouldn't even know. Right, okay. Right. I wouldn't even know. Cliff Curtis was there. Was it actually Cliff Curtis though?

Because he's the master of disguise. No, it was Cliff Curtis. It could have been anybody of an ambiguous ethnic background. An Arab man or something like that. It could have been anything. He's played them all. We had a good chat. Do you know what?

I was thinking because I messaged him about coming to my Comedy Fest show because, you know, last year I wanted to but he couldn't because of the premiere of Fast and Furious. And I had mentioned to him to come to this one but he's leaving the country beforehand. And he said, oh, I'm gutted. We should invite him to Fletch 4 and Hayley Live. Well, you're not going to be able to keep it together if he's there.

Oh, yeah, that'll really spoil the show. I'll be sitting there. And you'll be going extra hard at showing off. Yeah, I will be. And actually it's a celebration of you two. This is problematic. Is his girlfriend still with him? What did you just say? He doesn't have a girlfriend. Who knows? He definitely does have a girlfriend.

He's done some research. He does have a girlfriend. I don't know. Neither confirmed nor denied. There were a lot of hot people there, including myself. Now you're getting tagged though in all these posts from all the fan sites. It's crazy. Like, so a lot of, I imagine, our listeners have commented, stoked for the reunion.

Yeah. Absolutely stoked. Some of the comments, guys, no, I didn't sit there. Don't say that. But I keep getting tagged in about these 20 hectic Jason Momoa fan accounts where it's just like anything he does, they just post about it. Right. And it's been like they're reposting my post and being like,

spot it. I'm like, no, it's wild. Do they call you like the mystery woman? Who's this mystery woman? This pink-haired woman. Who's the pink-haired mystery woman? I don't know. Yeah, there's theories hanging around.

The tea is, there is no tea. You need to all calm down. Who sent the first message? No one knows. Right, so you invited yourself round two. I didn't invite myself. Okay, right. I didn't invite myself.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We've had a mystery smell in our house Don't you hate it? For a little bit Yeah, horrible It's something dead in the ceiling But it didn't smell like death I can always smell death

How about in the paddock or something Something's dead That's ominous I can smell death It wasn't poos Okay Very well with our septic tank Assews

Yep Very well versed Yeah In the smell of sewage So what did it smell like? It wasn't burning Okay You know

You know the smell of burning Don't you? You smell something burning And you can't relax Until the smell goes Or you find the Cause of the burning Yes

I would describe it as an earthy, possibly musty-esque, musty adjacent smell. The dogs maybe have brought something in. Dogs are outside dogs now. Okay. He won. He won that war. It was a hard battle, but they're outside dogs now.

It was maybe kind of around the hot water cupboard. I thought, do we have a leak in the hot water cupboard and it's musty? Yeah. Last night I stumbled across the answer to what is that smell? What is that? Can I ask another question? Yes, you may. Has this smell existed since your father-in-law moved in?

Correct. Okay, here we go. But not the entire time since he's moved in. Okay. Is it some kind of mushroom? You know, like he loves a noodle. I'm thinking maybe he's got some sort of mushroom powder. He's not putting them in the fridge.

He started a mushroom farm in the hot water cupboard. Yes. Chitakes. You're saying he's using the, to dry for mushrooms in the hot water cupboard. That's what I was going to, that was going to be my. Temperature wise, yes. As soon as I said that.

Yes, but dryness would play against your mushrooms. Do they need moisture? You'd have to mist the mushrooms. I've got no idea how mushrooms grow. They just grow. Apart from in a forest on trees. Darkness. They don't need light.

Yeah, right. Moisture. Warmth. So it's hemp seed oil. Right. And he's using it as a moisturizer. Okay. No.

Wait, is that a thing? So there are... Oh, here we go. I'll just pop my glasses on and look into my research. Has he been watching his YouTube videos? Hemp seed oil contains omega-6 fatty acids that contain anti-inflammatory properties and can soothe eczema.

Oh, that's good. Acne and skin after shaving. I should borrow some for me nipples. Helps repair sun damage. Also helps to reduce UV damage and hyperpigmentation of the skin. Treats atopic dermatitis. Oh, a miracle. Now, you can buy many hemp seed oil skin lotions and hemp seed oil tonics.

Right. He's using straight up cooking hemp seed oil tonics. Right. He's using straight up cooking hemp seed oil. Like out of the green glass jar that's square and long and tall. You know, mostly it's olive and rapeseed and that brand. Wait, do they do that? Is it at the supermarket? Or do you have to get it online? No, you can buy it at the supermarket.

Hemp stuff. I think so. It's not weed. It's like, yeah. Yeah, it's hemp seed. Okay. It's the weed without the good stuff, right? buy it at the supermarket. Hemp stuff. I think so. Oh yeah, okay. It's not weed, it's like, yeah. Yeah, it's hemp seed. It's the, okay. It's the weed without the good stuff, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Miracle plant. And so he's just slathering it on his body. Must be.

He'll be staining your sheets, mate. And he's sitting on your couch. His own sheets, his own sheets. Nah, he'll be sitting on your couch making it oily. That's actually a good call. I need to check the couch for any sort of grease stains. Yeah, if I oil myself, hair or body, I'm not allowed to really sit anywhere. Right. Because you'll leave a mark.

You'll leave a greasy mark. He's going to leave a stinky, earthy, greasy mark. Yeah. So what did you, when you found this out, what were you like, stop, that's cooking oil? I see the shut-a. Is he using hemp seed oil or some moisturizer or something? And she said, I don't know. I was like, it's the smell.

It's the smell I can smell. She said, you can tell him. I was like, it's the smell. It's the smell I can smell. She said, you can tell him. I said, he's your father. And that's where we left it. Right. Okay, so he may still be wearing it today. Oh, 100%. Okay.

Eau de hemp seed oil. Wow. Yeah. Get him a cream or something. Get him a nice cream. Buy him a nice moisturizer. I'm not buying a cream. Buy him some bum bum cream.

Now, that smells nice. Yeah, Sol de Janeiro. a bit. Buy him some bum bum cream. Now that smells nice. Yeah, Sol de Janeiro. Sol de Janeiro. That's bum bum cream. Have you used the bum bum cream? No, I haven't. Not just for the bum bum. Right.

For the whole body. Is it all the rage, is it? It's all the rage, my dude. Yeah, it's great. And it does smell really nice. That's your only answer because it'll mask the hemp. It'll mask it. But am I just Lynx Africa-ing the situation?

Possibly. I could just be adding Africa-ing the situation? Possibly. I could just be adding another smell to an already smelly smell. He's never going to fork out money for bum bum cream. No, no, no. It's very, very not. That's why you said buy him the expensive lotion. Well, Shannon's got the dupe. Why do you think?

What? The Kmart dupe. Oh, the dupe. I thought you meant jupers and J-O-O-P, the old. Oh, dupe. Early 2000s, late 90s. Somebody walked past me at the gym wearing dupe the other day you can still smell jupe yeah I was like

CK1 jupe and Hugo Boss jazz was it the black and white Hugo Boss ones I can still smell them every time I'm like so this Kmart jupe that you've got Shannon this would be

great for maybe Sade's Vaughn's father-in-law Sade's dad yeah you can get a spray you can get the moisturiser it's great

so what do they call their bum bum cream? That's not bum bum cream. No, but it's the same brand. That's the Solgine Nero number. Oh, right. It's a body mist. But Vaughan used it yesterday and he loved it, didn't you?

It was really nice. He gave himself a good spritz. Yeah, a spritz and walked through it. Okay, well, maybe get him a Kmart dupe. Why am I more financially responsible for covering up the smell? Well, fine, living a stinky hemp home. It does smell like I'm living amongst ropes. Yes, ropes.

That's what it smells like. It smells like old ropes. Yes. Hesian ropes. The hemp ropes. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, Day, Day, Day. This week's Fact of the Day themes were weird mythical creatures from around the world.

This was triggered because some dude was going to spend a whole lot of money to finally get the answers on Loch Ness, which I was like, give me the money. Here's the answer. It's just not there. Stop being silly. You're all being silly.

So we're having a look around the world at different mythical creatures that might be better to try to get a final answer. I like yesterday's one, the Japanese one. Oh, I liked that.

But they have creepy pictures. The look of time. Yeah, yeah. The guy that looks up the dirty baths. So you've got to keep the clean bathroom. Oh, I liked that. But they had creepy pictures. The look of time. Yeah. Yeah, the guy that looks up the dirty baths. So you've got to keep the clean bathroom. Well, we're going to go to Sardinia today. Have you ever been to Sardinia? No, but I certainly plan to. It looks lovely.

Is that where Sardines got their name? Yes, Sardines and Submarines. But it's not Origins Week. And Submarines. It's not Origins Week. You've done that. You can't go back. You can't fact us about other facts during another fact.

You missed it. I'm about to. Origin Week. Sardines are named after the island of Sardinia where they were once found in abundance. Oh, there you go. Oh, we ate them all. So good work.

Good work, everybody. Classic humans. Sardinia has... Sardinia. Why are you saying Sardinia? Because he's thinking of sardines now. Sardinia. Sardinia has... Sardinia? Why are you saying Sardinia? Because he's thinking of sardines now. Sardinia. Sardinia.

Sardinia has folklore of urchitu. Ever heard of a werewolf? Urchitu is a werecow. Hey. A man has committed great fraud, so don't commit fraud. Okay. What was that noise? Was that you making that noise?

I had it in my head. I was like, I think I'm going crazy. A man that's committed great fraud will wake up in the middle of the night and turn into a great ox with two candles on top of its iron horns. So the iron horn's very heavy to carry. Yeah. And it'll come down and curl around, and then there's two candles sitting on it. Like a coir candle.

It's like really nice. Oh, like Sweet Pea Jasmine. Sweet Pea Jasmine vanilla. Nah. French vanillamend. Sweet peach asmend vanilla. Nah. French vanilla? It's not going to be French vanilla. Not French pear. You just mean like those old school,

like emergency candles in a power cut. Church candles. Okay. So with two candles on the horns. And in some of the stories, in some of the tellings, it'll also have a few devils with it to keep the candles lit. Ooh, okay. It will walk around looking for a house.

And then when it finds a house, it will bellow outside the house three times. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. By the time that third one's finished, it's too late. The owner of the house will be dead within a year. Oh, my gosh. The only way to stop a Cheeto is by chopping off its

horns or blowing out the candles in one blow like a birthday cake. Oh. Yeah. Could you go Yeah. Well, no, you have to. One breath. Run around the devils, by the way. I mean, it's not real. It's obviously not real. It's stupid, isn't it?

Excuse me. The devils are trying to relight them. Have you been to Sard real. It's obviously not real. It's stupid, isn't it? Excuse me? The devil's are trying to relight them. Have you been to Sardinia, have you? No, I haven't. Been to Sardinia? Eaten a sardine? I love sardines. I've never had a sardine, I don't think. Is it a whole fish and it's got bones in it?

Yes, a whole fish. That's like anchovies. You don't want to do that. Sardines come in a can. Anchovies I like, but they're small and very fleshy. Sardines are a bit meatier. Yeah. Yuck. I'd eat one. Anchovies I like, but they're small and very fleshy. Sardines are a bit meatier. Yeah. Yuck.

I'd eat one. So you blow it out and then they'll stop and the horns can be used to heal the spleen. The spleen specifically. Right. I'm not sure why. Ridiculous. I'm not sure why.

But it's a werecow. It's a cheeto and it is from Sardinian folklore. Okay, lovely. And that is today's... Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. What? We want to talk now about what people think about you because of your resting face. Yes.

Because I have a bitchy resting face. Even though I can be very happy and I'll just be walking down the street and someone will say, God, what was wrong with you? Yeah, God, why are you so grumpy? Why are you grumpy? No, I'm just a bitchy resting face. We just worked out that Shannon's got a resting sad face because when she rests the corners of her mouth are down.

They face downwards and sometimes I see photos and I'm like, pick up. I hate to say it, but give us a smile. Are people ever like, are you okay? Yeah, when I was a waitress I'd always get like, give us a smile, sweetheart. You know what she did for her tips though. People were like, are you okay? Yeah, when I was a waitress, I'd always get like, give us a smile, sweetheart. And I was like, well. That's terrible. You know what she did for her tips, though. Don't leave it there.

That makes it sound worse than it was. Flirted, flirted, and nothing more. Gillian Anderson, actress. Yes, she says that she keeps getting these sort of intelligent roles because she's got resting, like, smart face, basically. Resting intelligence. Yeah, that her face, when you look at her just resting, looks like a very highly educated sort of powerful person.

And that's why she gets these roles. She does have that. She's right. She does get that face. Oh, yeah. Like Olivia Colman's got resting royal face. Yeah. She's such a great actress.

I know. Just some of the best. So great in everything she does. Now, Vaughn's staying quiet because he's upset about the comments that have been made of late about his resting face because he's got resting cold face. I got to ask to warm it up. Yeah.

To be fair, and I say this with love, we had a photo shoot and Vaughn was told to warm up his face and we were all like, how rude. Then we all had to review the photos and it was a bit cold the photos but the photos that of you trying to be warm with i hate photo shoots it's so dumb none of us wanted to be there but just smiling and then the other day shannon said it to me as well you but your smile is like dav David Seymour's smile.

No, it's not. Let's not say that. Let's not cast those aspersions. No, but when you smiled, it's like you just showed your teeth and that was the smile. I didn't want to be there. So this is what we want to ask this morning. 0800 DARS at him.

You can text her as well. 9696. What does your resting face say? Because there's a guy at the gym that's sometimes there and he's got one of those looks like he's about to cry faces. And I'm always like

the first time I saw him I was like oh he's working out and he's real sad. And then just saying because you know you see all the regulars but he just looks, that's just how he looks. What about people whose face look like that are on the verge of asking a question? They're like. And you're like, yes.

The eyebrows are up a little bit. Oh, those are people that have the eyebrows. Yeah. And you're like, what? Go for it. No, nothing. Nothing. But then they're like.

Gosh. I've got a resting sexy face. I mean, that's just like across the beer. I just rest. People are like, hot damn. You know? Oh, 800 dials. We want to know now. And maybe you get this all the time. I just rest and people are like, hot damn. You know? Oh, 800 dials. And we want to know now.

And maybe you get this all the time. People are like, are you okay? I know. What's wrong? But you're fine. It's just your resting face. We want to know this morning what your resting face says about you or what people think from your resting face.

Maybe it's a bitchy resting face. Maybe it's a sad resting face. Kimberly, this is your partner's resting face. Maybe it's a bitchy resting face. Maybe it's a sad resting face. Kimberly, this is your partner's resting face. Kimberly. What is his resting face? Resting turtle face. What the hell is a resting turtle face?

Like kind of like a pursed lips or... Oh, you're like down. If you look at a turtle dead on the face, it's... Mitch McConnell. I'm going to go turtle face. Has he got thin lips? Not particularly, but definitely when it's resting as a turtle.

Has he ever passed a straw up his nose? Yeah, has he got wide nostrils? Has he caught in a bit gummy? Does he have a big straw up his nose? Yeah. Has he got wide nostrils? Has he caught in a fishing net? Wow. And do people often say, do people say to him, you look like a resting turtle? It might just be me.

Okay, you really see the turtle, but you're closest to his face. But yeah, I get what you mean. It's kind of the frown goes down. Almost like jowly. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. See him when he's resting. Kimberly, thank you. Robbie, what's your resting face? Apparently, I've got resting stoner face. Oh, really?

You just look blazed all the time. The eye's a little bit shut. Yeah, I think it must be that. But I've never smoked in my life. Mouth just a smidge open. Oh, right. Just like, yeah, man.outh just a smidge open. Oh, right. Just like, yeah, man. Nod your head a bit.

Bobby, here. Are you blazed all the time? No. Okay. I just wanted to check because that'll do it. Because I always have a bloodshot this eye.

Yeah, right. Your right eye. And it's always a little bit bloodshot. Yeah. I don't know why. It just permanently is. Yeah. Am I dying? Because you smoke weed out of that side of your mouth. I don't know why. It just permanently is.

It's because you smoke weed out of that side of your mouth. I don't smoke weed ever. It's your morning ganja before you get there. Never do it. But yeah, I understand that one, Robbie. Thank you. Some messages in. I've got intimidating resting face because of my mouth apparently. I always look like I'm pursing my lips.

So I'm quite intimidating. Oh, okay. My resting face at the gym is, are you okay? That's what people ask me because I look tired. And the smile looks like it's a real lackluster smile. Wow. Yeah. Give us some warmth there when you read that out.

I don't want to. You've got like resting stink face right now. My nose is up a little bit. Yeah, you're scratching poop. Talking about your resting face and what it says about you, actress Gillian Anderson says she gets all of her TV and movie roles because she's got this intelligent looking face. Resting intelligent face.

She does. We wanted to know what your resting face says about you. Now, someone's messaged in saying, I don't know about my resting face. No one's ever commented on it. I reckon we probably didn't need to hear that. Do you know what I mean? No, but that's very, that's an interesting,

no, but that's interesting because I would have thought everyone has a resting face or they just have just a normal. Maybe they just got a neutral face. Maybe they need to send us a video and we'll judge We'll tell you what your resting face is But I guess you would know right because I know I've got a bitchy resting face because people always say

or not always but they're like hey you look really angry or are you mad I'm like no I'm absolutely happy Somebody has a resting resting face where it looks like they're just having a rest whenever they rest. Which I like because you're resting your face,

but also you look like you're just having a little rest. Okay. Why not? And now we've said rest so much. It's lost all meaning. It is. I have a resting English gangster face. I found out when our wedding,

when we went for food and clothing, anything at shops, people were scared of me. Oh, right. Apologetic when the wait was too long would prioritize me ahead of other people who had been waiting longer. And apparently it's because I had a very intimidating face like, Thomas Shelby ain't waiting for no one.

Yeah. That was hot. That was quite hot. What was that? Do it again. Thomas Shelby goes waiting for no one yeah that was hot that was hot yeah what was that Thomas Shelby goes waiting for no man yeah I always wonder though if having a bitchy resting face or an angry looking gangster face like that helps you in certain situations like when you're traveling because people would never mug you yeah yeah yeah because they look like they grab your night or your wallet and you just knife them straight away. My mum says I have a resty, sulking face.

Yeah. And my husband, when he looks at me, his eyes are always happy, but the few times I've caught his resting face, he has a serial killer face. Oh, dear. Oh, okay. Big eyes, no smile. Yeah.

My resting face. Oh, I love you. I look lost. I've got a lost resting face. People are always like, you okay? Because apparently I look like I've got a lost resting face People are always like You okay Because apparently I look like I've lost my way

My resting face Is a criminal resting face It looks like a mug shot Apparently Oh my passport Is very criminal looking Oh yeah Yours is so frightening

Aaron's is the same Like he looks Like a Like a Yeah mobster Well you've got to go stoic Don't you Because you're not allowed

To have any expression No I smized I did Tyra Banks. Actually, because I'm handing over my passport at the passport control. When you've got a criminal looking face, you get the hard questions. So I've just put in some Hello Kitty stickers

in my passport. That's a good idea. Plus you've got the bloodshot eye though as well. Yeah, it lightens the mood. I've got resting scheming face. People always ask me, what are you up to? When I'm just like thinking. I know when you're scheming, but it's not a permanent face.

You've got a naughty boy face. And a brat face. I've got a scheming face. I've got a resting I see your soul face, apparently. People just get quite taken aback. Really? Do you think like Lucinda from Maths, you know, she has a resting soul face. Like the boy, the voice breaks you down.

Her voice breaks you down. Yeah, the face breaks you down. The face version. Tell me your secrets of your soul. I'll tell you everything. What do you need to know? I've got snobbish resting face Better than everyone

Better than you I've got a little upturned nose When I rest my face I have a resting smoking face People always ask me for a lighter I don't smoke Maybe take the ciggy out of your mouth Yeah the durry hanging out the side

Is not helping that I think Oh I just heard your tummy go Yeah that was my tum tums Hanging out the side's not helping that, I think. Oh. Who did tummy hurt on? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Ah, not for me. Vaughan?

Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?