ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 27th November 2023

Episode Date: November 26, 2023

16 Confidence Boosts per Month!?  Hayley's Court Order  Top 6: Taxable Addictions  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan's Grip  Shania commented on our TikTok!?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletchforn and Hayley. And for the first time, we're all together in the same room. God, we're going to clunk around a bit, I think. Alright, let's flick it out of these wicks. And we're not sick, we're ready to go.

I'm sick. I'm a little bit sick. Why is everyone still sick? Well, it's like a left clog and a right throat. I don't know. This is just the new normal. I've got a burning throat. That's about it. Slightly blocked nose.

None of the associated headaches. You were on an incubator cruise for three or four days. Jesus. Yeah. I loved it. I enjoyed a cruise a lot more than I thought I was going to. A lot more. I'll go on record. Yeah. I can really say, I loved it. I enjoyed a cruise a lot more than I thought I was going to. A lot more. I'll go on record.

Yeah. Didn't get seasick. That's good. You always get seasick. Chronically seasick. Do you? But I will say, if you take a precautionary sea legs in the morning and then have a couple of lunchtime beers,

you are going to need a three-hour nap. I'm sure there's a warning label you've missed there. No, no, no. There definitely was a warning label, and I just strode right through it because I wasn't operating any heavy machinery. Yeah. But I can really see how the novel coronavirus of Wuhan

tore through cruise ships. Yeah. In the early days, yeah. You're just in each other. Just a lot of people. But you don't have the vid. Don't have the vid. Just this. Oh, there it goes. I was at the mall yesterday, and je You're just in each other. Just a lot of people. But you don't have the vid. Don't have the vid. Just this.

Oh, there it goes. I was at the mall yesterday, and jeez, I tell you what. I was just looking around like, I've got to get out of here. There's got to be people with COVID in here. You were in a mall. You were in a cruise ship. I hosted a 200-person event. This is going to be a fun week.

Should we put a clock on? How long can the three of us stay together? If you were going to get COVID, you, if you were going to get COVID, you would have had it because you had someone at your house who was like, oh, I've got COVID. My friend was literally staying at my house last weekend. I know, I stayed as well. You stayed as well.

You didn't get it. I think you guys are in a high, what is it? High immunity. High immunity. Well, we just had our boosters. Shannon's away. Shannon's sick. Hopefully.

Not COVID. Gosh. Okay. Coming up on the show The top six Vaughan It's going to get political today Here's the great news Here's the great news

Smokers Thank you so much Your continued addiction To tobacco And the rest of the chemicals And delicious delicious cigarettes Will be funding People's tax cuts

This is absolutely wild, right? That whole, we're going to be smoke-free by 20... Was it 2025 originally? I think they shoved it out to 2030. I think that's just absolutely on the burner now. Yeah, right. Smoke those cigarettes, my friends. Delicious Cigarettes.

Smoke them. And every time you do, blow the smoke in a non-smoker's face and say, you're welcome. The worst thing. Because it doesn't... The worst delicious thing. It doesn't appear the government's promoting that, Hayley. The government. I know. Has said this will help fund.

Light them up. That's the campaign slogan. Let's do this. And then they do it as a cigarette. I was at a friend yesterday, I won't say who, was having quite a heated debate in the family WhatsApp group about this. Oh, really? And the parents were like

for it. The parents were like, if they're going to smoke, let them. Who cares? Are the parents quite affluent non-smokers who have never really... Yeah, okay, gotcha. Well, anyway, it's

divisive. I say, why stop with cigarette smokers? I've got the top scissors. Stop, top scissors? I've got the top scissors, cutting cartridge, and number one on the list is your mum sewing scissors. Oh, my God. She's going to kick your ass.

The good scissors. The top six other addicts we should get to help fund the tax relief. Yeah, okay. Why stop at cigarette smokers? Yeah. So many people have crippling addictions that we should be exploiting. I think you're right. I love this.

Also, we need to talk soon because you've received a letter in the mail. A scary letter. Literally, my skin crawled as I opened this envelope. Next on the show, though, you love a compliment. You quite often ask your partner, Aaron, to... I froth on compliments. Yeah, you quite often ask for just five in a row. Yep. Well, next on the show,

there's been some research done. The average adult, how many times they need a confidence boost? Oh! What do you think? Is it once a day? On the hour, every hour. We'll get into that next ZM

Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Well some research Has been done This is out of the UK The average British adult Needs 16 confidence boosters A month

To feel their best A month A month This is like You probably need About 16 a day So four a week Yeah I'll get 16 a day. So four a week? Yeah. Oh, get a grip.

If I got four a week, I would shrivel up and die. You need the attention. I need much more than that. You need the boosting. They're actually big things. When they say confident boosters is it someone being like, hey, great job. So this is what they said. A confidence booster could be getting a compliment or general praise. Or what about a smack on dead ass?

It doesn't say a smack on dead ass. Oh, really? Achieving an unexpected goal or making someone laugh. Oh. So maybe getting a compliment on your smile, what you're wearing, receiving a friendly smile from a stranger can also give them a lift, they said.

I'm very, when I'm thinking about this, I'm like, I'm very good at receiving and giving, actually. I don't, I'm very, I don't like receiving. I know. I find it hard. You're literally not even looking me in the eye because you can feel a compliment coming. Yes. God, my God, you're looking good.

If someone says something to me, I'm just like, oh, yeah. Look at the tone. Look at the colour of this man's skin. There's something about it that just glows. I got a bit of sun at the weekend. I think it might be the start of jaundice. Have you had your kidneys level? Is it?

I'm not yellow. It doesn't yellow under time. Have you had your kidneys level? It doesn't yellow under time. It's not yellow, it's browning. Oh, Vaughan, that was so funny. What you just said. You really made me laugh.

No, no, I don't want that. I don't want that. No, no, no, I don't want it. He can't take cotton with him either. Listen,

no one's looking me in the eye in this studio. I don't want them. You just keep them. Rather than giving it to me, just keep it and give it to yourself. How is

Hayley Oh my god No not out loud Sorry what Not out loud Just kind of like What I was about to say to them I'll just bank for yourself

Right Why can't we take compliments Because we weren't raised like that Is it a New Zealand thing Is it a male thing Is it a male thing A male New Zealand thing I don't know

I just get so weird I'm just like Stop stop stop But confidence boost Doesn't have to be a vocal compliment, right? That could be a pat on the back. You also hate physical touch, so it could be a reward. Yeah. A gift.

Yeah. I don't think either of you really thrive on that. Whereas you, on the other hand, absolutely lap it up. A froth on it. And you will actually ask your partner for them. Yeah, I feel it's like a vitamin it up. A froth on it. You will actually ask your partner for them. Yeah, I feel, it's like a vitamin to me.

A vitamin compliment. And when I feel it depleting, I get a little boost. And luckily, I have a partner that indulges that desire from me. Were your parents quite complimentary

growing up? When you were growing up, would your mum be like, well done, you did good? Yeah, definitely like positive affirmations.

Mine was also like, could be better. Could be better. I also had that as well. Like, that was a bit of a shit performance on the piano. I got a bit out of time there. Oh, yeah, okay. I did get a little bit of that. But I was an overachiever as well, so I think they were pretty stoked.

I think they were pretty chuffed with the child they got. They were trying to like ground you a little bit. Yeah, yeah, keep me grounded, yeah. 16 in a month, eh? Nah. I reckon I need about five a day. Okay. Five little boosts a day.

We haven't given you one yet, have we? I like your chain. Thank you. Okay, what's next? Because he's got to follow it up. Do I have my new T-shirt? I feel like it's Vera T-shirt. You boys would wear it.

It's a Chris T-shirt. Yeah, dude. It's Commoners. I like that T-shirt. Yeah, I know. What brand is that T-shirt? Commoners. Oh, what's that? It's a brand. Is it a new t-shirt? I feel like it's Vera t-shirt. You boys would wear it. It's a Chris t-shirt. Yeah, dude. It's Commoners. I like that t-shirt. Yeah, I know. What brand is that t-shirt? Commoners. Oh, what's that?

It's a brand. Is it a brand? It's a good brand. It's a really good brand. How much did it cost? Don't ask. You won't want to know. Don't worry about it.

Because an AS Color t-shirt will cost $25 and they might be having a Black Friday show. Yeah, a Commoners t-shirt is not $25. Not quite, but it's nice. Not quite, no. It does look like a nice, is it like what they call a super soft tee? Yeah, it's kind of super soft. I've got to get me some more of them super soft tees. So you've had about three compliments there.

Holy shit. How are you feeling? No, that was more of a compliment to super soft tees. Unless, of course, you invented super soft tees. But I'm wearing it well. Well, it's just a t-shirt. I think it just, your shoulders. It's hanging on me nicely.

Your shoulders are really holding that shirt. 14 months. That felt, that felt not great. Them great big shoulders of yours. Those jacked, I don't mind a big shoulder. Yeah. Okay, well, there you go. Complement.

Your broad, powerful shoulders. No, you said the word broad didn't need to come in. No. And your bubbly personality. And you look super cuddly. You asked for the compliments. You asked. Permission to swear.

Permission to just tell this guy to F off. You've got great indirect or flow. You are a quiet cul-de-sac. Thank you. That's all unboosted, babe. Cozy first home. Don't call me a cozy first home. Do it.

Great. Do it. Don't call me a renovator's delight. Worst house on the best street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one. Quarter past six. It's me.

Next on the show, summer is apparently coming. Yes, yeah. That one. Quarter past six. It's me. Next on the show, summer is apparently coming. Yes, apparently. Oh, it's been humid. It's warm. It's getting warmer. It's lingering. It's warm.

It's nice. I like warm. No, that's humid and warm, yeah. It has warmed. Well, there's a new Kmart viral item. You know Kmart drops these items and everyone's like, I've got to get my hands on it.

You're going to need this for summer. Need this for the summer. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Is that not Justin Bieber? Nah, it was Lewis Capaldi. I thought it was a Justin Bieber, Lewis Capaldi collab. Let me have a rare mistake. You.

A rare mistake. He says he makes a mistake. You really should have turned that on. I did turn that on. I never turned that off. He does this all the time. Yeah, I know. Okay. Look, we're a little rusty. We haven't been together, have we, for. I did turn that on. I never turned that off. He does this all the time. Yeah, I know. Okay.

Look, we're a little rusty. We haven't been together, have we, for days? No, I know. We're just finding our rhythm again. There's a lot of tension. I had to do a show with Georgia. I saw. It was the Georgia and Fletch show when you were away.

She did very well. Made you look quite old, though. Made you look old and made me look very replaceable. Yeah. And I didn't like it. She did a stunning job. She did a stunning job. Apart from aging you up exponentially.

Thank you. Now, summer is coming. Wait, so 16 compliments a month. Do I now need 17? Because Vaughn's teasing me. You've been negged. No, you like being negged. We all love a bit of negging. You piece of shit.

Tell me I'm shit. You are shit. Just a baby, you idiot. It's Lewis Capaldi, dumbass. All right. Good morning. Keep going. Don't stop me.

I'm nearly there. Oh my God, the video I sent you guys of the guy who just goes up to people on the street and says, can I get a hoo-yah? And then some people are like, hoo-yah. And other people are like, hoo-yah. That was so good. Anyway, Kmart has an item.

It was the suitcases for a while. They had a clothing steamer everybody wanted. They had the air fryer. Non-spawn, by the way. Good stuff. Just good cheap stuff. Just good cheap stuff. Get your hands on stuff that usually costs more.

The item of the moment is this air con unit. It's made for camping, but people are like perfect for next to your bed. We sleep with a fan next to the bed in the summer. I've had the ceiling fan on for like the last three weeks. It's been so hot. It's so nice actually. Ceiling fan. Must be nice.

I know. When I sat at his house, I left it on the whole night. And I was like. Did you wake up a little? You have air con. No, but it's better than air con. No, it's not as busy. You don't wake up with like a dry throat.

Boo hoo. I've only got air con. Yeah. My air con's better than aircon. No, it's not as busy, yeah. You don't wake up with like a dry throat. Boo-hoo, I've only got aircon. Yeah. My aircon's getting installed next week and I'm worried it's dry because I stayed at a hotel on Friday night. Oh, you can't sleep with it on. What you do is you put it on and then turn it off before you go to bed.

Oh, okay, because I woke up like... So we are approaching Fanageddon. Fanageddon. All the fans sell out. It's going to be a stinking hot summer. So if you don't have a fan for your bedroom, you've got to get it in the next month or so. And if you're like, I can't afford that because

those fans and air conditioning units, if you don't have aircon in your house, they're pricey, man. No, they're not. $24. Kmart. Kmart again. So they have it's called the it's called like a cooler. Right.

They call it a cooler and it's made for camping because it can be charged. Okay. And run without power. And it's a little, little box. So it'd be perfect for like next to the bed if you sleep hot or by your feet or whatever. Yeah. And then you put water in it and then it cools it down and blows this like air and stuff. And then people are like, heck, put an ice pack in the water unit and it blows literal like cold air at you.

So it's like a tiny mini AC unit. Yeah, it's like the size of like a bloody lunchbox or something. I don't know how I feel about putting water that close to cheap electronic appliances. Yeah, I mean, you raise a great point. Oh no, sorry, I beg your pardon. No, point. Oh, no, sorry. Thank you for partying. No, they've got the packs.

The water is in these packs, and you can choose to freeze them or not. Oh, okay, so it's sealed in. Yeah, it's sealed in. It can be USB rechargeable. And so that would also be amazing in a tent over summer. Yeah, it's like 18 centimetres wide. It's amazing. Think of everything, don't they, Kmart?

I'm looking at it now. It's in stock at all of the Kmarts near where we are at the moment. Because this was a new, this came to us from a news story in Australia and apparently it's flying off the shelves. People are loving these things. Do we want to let people, people should panic. People should go and panic. People should panic buying this.

Leave, don't go to work today. Get your ass to a Kmart and get yourself the evaporative, cooler, rechargeable, $22 in New Zealand. $22. What an absolute steal. I'm going to get one of these myself, even though I've got a little fan. And I'm getting air con.

And I've got beautiful windows that slide open. It's good life. Next on the show, you've received some mail, a big scary letter that we need to talk about. I opened it and I screamed. Uh-oh. Next on the show, you've received some mail, a big scary letter that we need to talk about. I opened it and I screamed. Uh-oh. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

I received some mail, and I don't really love receiving mail because I receive mail mostly via email, right, like bills and stuff. Yeah, I think I get like one thing every two months in my letterbox and it's always some spammy letter. Yeah. And so when it's always some spammy letter? Yeah. And so when it's addressed to me, I was like, oh, okay. And there was a stamp

on it that I recognised immediately as the Ministry of Justice. I could see some read through that letter you're holding up. I opened it being like, oh, you know, maybe they've started that speed camera by work. Because, you know.

Yeah, the 40 kilometre one. The 40 kilometre. And Hayley blasts down there. I'm like, this is 40 kilometres. And she's like, there's no camera here. Those are, what are those cameras? They're like distance cameras, eh?

Two point, yeah. Two point speed and they work out your average. Those have been installed, but they just haven't started ticketing yet. I'll tell you when. But the problem is there's going to be a two week delay from when they turn them on to when you get the ticket. Also be like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Yeah, so you'll get like 20 tickets. Oh, shit. Yeah. I'll just cruise it. I'll cruise it down there. Well, what's this letter then? Well, I opened it up and I was met with an alarming red square notice of court fine. And I was like, who's taking me to court?

And it's just a parking, a speeding fine that I thought I paid and forgot to pay. So I don't understand it though. Am I going to court? Who's taking me to court? Well, I think you go to court. The court itself is taking you going to court? Who's taking me to court? Well, I think you go to court. The court itself is taking you to court. The court's taking me to court? That seems unfair.

So $30 has been added to it for court costs. And so I was like, am I going to court? I don't have an outfit. Do you need me to represent you? Because I've got a good suit. Yes, please. You've got a good suit. And we'll just use chat GTP.

The last time I got a fine and I forgot to pay it, we talked about you being my lawyer. And I just don't understand how am I going to court? Yeah, I've watched a lot of legal dramas. I'm really itching at the chance. Yeah, I know.

So it's $110 now from 80, but the $30 added was court costs. It's that letter, because there's a lot of colour printing on that. Yeah, it's red, eh? You could think, 1992, though, it doesn't cost $80 to print a colour letter anymore. I was like, when I opened it,

I was like, oh my God, I'm really in trouble. This new government's looking at a way of cutting costs, because we just go back to a black and white printer on these letters. Although that red, when you open that letter, that would scare the shit out of you. It'd scare the shit out of me. Also, they've added, so the amount, Joe, is $110.

Yeah. I'm not paying that. I think you are. And then it says, warning, we'll add $102 if we take enforcement action. What's enforcement? Like they have to come around and take your TV or something? Oh, yeah, they've threatened me.

We'll issue a warrant for your arrest. I'd like to see you try. I'd like to see you try. They can issue a warrant because you haven't paid a parking ticket. Suspend your driver's licence. Well, I'd like to see you try. Yeah, you're already that unnamed. You're really taunting them with, I'd like to see you try something.

Seize and sell your property. I barely own it. Please do. Please do. What do they sell your property and then give you the remainder of the $102? They just take $102 off? Do they take care of real estate season? I don't know.

I would like for you to sell my property and see what happens. Stop you from travelling overseas. I don't even have a trip planned, mate. I ain't got no money because of the property you're trying to take off me. No, don't worry. I paid it yesterday. I paid it yesterday. I got such a fright. I paid it immediately. But $102

seems oddly specific for the next step of action. It is a weird amount, isn't it? $102. I pay for your beer afterwards. I've paid it. Oh, I just feel like I just spent a whole lot of time just threatening the Ministry of Justice instead of... I have nothing but respect

for the law. I'm a lady of the law and I've paid it. Good. I've paid it. I'll pay it now. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Oh, hey. Man, this government's coming in hot. This new government's coming in hot.

Yeah. Now, you are a mouthpiece for the left. I was going to say, I was going to try to balance it somehow. But it is weird because over the weekend, this news that... A lot of the points came out and a lot of them you just thought, where'd that come from? So the tax cuts at National Promise, because the foreign buyers thing's not happening and that's what they said would fund the tax cuts. Like rich people coming in, buying houses, over two million.

They said tax them. That's what was going to happen and then Winston was like, no. That was one of his no's. Because Winston loves, does he love a ciggy? He does, eh? Oh, he would bang a dart with a whiskey. Yeah. And so he's like, no. I reckon he'd even smoke those

cigarillos. Not quite a cigar. You reckon? With the dark paper but they're slim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Well, so he yeah. Rather than a dark leg. Right. Well, so he's obviously said no. And so they're reversing a lot of all the good work that the government had done to kind of stop smoking. Because I think we can all agree that smoking, regardless of where you sit on the political spectrum, smoking's not good. Oh, the woke brigade's here, aren't they?

But it's like, we're still going to pay for this in the future when everyone has lung cancer and they're clogging up the hospital and you can't get in because you're sick. That was why cigarettes were taxed so heavily because there were no on carcinogen and something down the track was going to have to give

and it was probably going to be cancer and that's a very expensive treatment to give and so you take the money from the ciggies and you put it in a little bank account and then when people who smoke

the ciggies get a little sick you pay for it that way. But now the tax from cigarettes will help people receive tax cuts. There's more to it. That's very simply put. So I was like

these addicts we've got them over a barrel. They're addicted to things that they it's a mental health. Addiction is a recognized illness. Let's exploit it.

I hope you've got your whiskey on the list. Sure do. Number six on the list of the top six other addicts we can use to help with tax relief. Gambling addicts. Okay. I say we say, okay, we'll tax you this week. Double or nothing. And they'll all jump at the chance.

They're like, well, I'll take my chances. And then they lose and now they're getting taxed double. Here's the good news. Yep. Double or nothing again. Okay. So if your tax is, say, 25%. Yeah, double or nothing. This week you're going to get taxed 50% if you lose.

Or nothing. Or 12.5% if you... Yeah, the problem is the house always wins. I'll go. No. Yeah. Okay. I don't have a coin.

I'm going to toss this lozenge. Okay. Branding or non-branding? Branding or non-branding? Branding. It's non-branding. Youing or non-branding? Branding. It's non-branding. You're now paying 50% tax this week. I do have the opportunity for you, however,

to take it back to 25%. Or it goes to 100%. How would you like to play? I'd like to play, sir. You'd like to play again? I'd like to play, sir. Branding or not branding? Not branding.

It's branding. So you are now paying 100% of your wages tax. I'd like to go again. Okay, you go again. She's going to get to next week. She's going to get to next week. Branding or not branding? Branding.

Okay, it's branding. Next week, you're going to pay 12.5%. But this week, you're still paying 100%. I feel like I still won. No. Bingo. Would you like to double down? I'd like to roll again.

See? This is fun. We make light of this, but this is terrible. I know it is. But if we don't laugh, we're going to cry. We're going to cry. Number five on the list, a slightly less harrowing addiction. At number five on the list of the top six addicts to pillage to help people get tax relief.

Coffee addicts. No. That's the only thing. I was trying to think of the only thing I can think Fletch is like addicted to. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Hard to tax the other thing.

Yeah, you'd have to. I don't know how you do it. I don't know. It's pretty unromantic to fill in a form before you just... Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Coffee addicts.

How would you text that? I don't know. That other thing that you're mouthing. Yeah, yeah. You're mouthing. Someone's mouthing as well. Someone's doing the mouthing. Coffee addicts.

Just increase the price. Cross the board. Sorry, coffee addicts. Number the price Yeah Cross the board Sorry coffee addicts Number four on the list Alcoholics This is you Now there's a There's a group of addicts

Who you know It's amongst the worst addictions Yeah Hardest habit to kick casually Already taxed heavily Like smoking Tax it some more Tax it some more

Tax it some more Now this was I'll just check again This was the government That didn't like tax. Yes. Interesting. Number three on the list of the top sex addicts.

We've kind of touched on this. Addicts are sex addicts. Yes. Right. Yeah. How are you doing it? I guess you just go into a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting and then just pay for what you've done.

Just pass the hat around. You must pay for what you've done. Just ask for it. Just pass the hat around. You must pay for what you've done, who you've done and where you've done it. And the opposite is like if you don't pay the tax, you don't get spanked.

But if you pay the tax, they'll spank you as well. Right, okay. Number two on the list of the top six addicts to help with tax relief are work addicts. People that are addicted to work.

And they love sex. They love to tell you how much they've been working. They're kind of doing it already. Because if they're working all those extra hours, they're already paying tax. So they just tax them more. They got to tax them more to tax other people less.

Yeah. That's how that works. Good. And number one on the list of the top six addicts to help with tax relief, porn addicts. I feel targeted by quite a few of these. You've got to pay the troll toll. Pay the troll toll if you want to.

I'm imagining there's some sort of geo-block on anything. And if you want to get in and play with yourself, have some good times, watch them. I don't know what you're into. Yeah. I'm not here to judge that whatsoever, but I will tax you for it.

No judge, but a tax. No judge, but a tax. That's today's top six. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Squid Game The Challenge is the talk of the internet at the moment. It's basically, it's Squid Game

in a reality competition show. But real people. Real people. And then they die? Do they die? They start off with 456 people and then they do, I'll give it away, Green Light, Red Light is the first challenge. And then I was like, how is this going to go? 56 people and then they do, I'll give it away, green light, red light

is the first challenge and then I was like, how is this going to go? And I first started watching it. I was like, ugh, very American. Okay.

Like, they kind of get these snapshots of everyone being like, oh, I'm going to like, do this and I'm the man and I'd like to see everyone take me down

and I was like, oh my God, I hate this already. But then Korean reality shows are like that. What was it? The strongest? The 100. The 100 that we watched was very like that. No, physical God, I hate this already. But then Korean reality shows are like that. What was it? The Strongest? The 100.

The 100 that we watched was very like that. No, Physical 100. Yeah, Physical 100. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a Korean reality show and that was very much like... something about the American accent

when they do it. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was. When they do it in Korean, you're like, what a beautiful language. Whereas in American, you're like, shut up. So yeah, it was 456 contestants

and each time they die, $10,000 gets added to the pool. So the money that's up for grab at the end, if you're the last one, is $4.56 million. Oh my God. Like this game is not messing around. Yeah. So it's British.

It was filmed in Britain. I'm trying to figure that out with getting spoiler alerts because I've only known about it up to episode two. Okay. It says it's a 10 episode British reality competition based on obviously Squid Game, the South Korean drama. It says it's a 10 episode British reality competition based on obviously Squid Game, the South Korean drama. Where was it filmed?

You can find out. Somewhere loose. It'll be like, you know, Wipeout, the show where Americans smash themselves on those big rubber balls.

They film it in Ecuador or somewhere with far looser. Totally. Safety and health. Because the thing that I marveled at. It's health and safety. Safety and health. No, it's health and... Oh, is it not?

Oh my god, are you an egg and bacon guy? My brother-in-law's an egg and bacon. He's an egg and bacon pine. Dad and mum. Dad and mum. Dad and mum. Bev and John

would be your... Patsy and Craig. P. Dad and mum. What name? Bev and John would be your... Yeah. Patsy and Craig. Patsy goes first. Yeah. I think it's because mum was in charge of putting all the bills. Mum's the boss. Mum's the boss, yeah.

Chris and Ian is how people... If my mum... Ian and Christine. If you use my mum's full name, it goes last. Aaron's parents are Phil and Jeanette. Not Jeanette and Phil. Oh, my God. Never thought of it before.

Would it be Philip and Jeanette if it was his full name? Jeanette and Philip. Philip and Jeanette. Not Jeanette and Phil. Oh my God. Never thought of it before. Would it be Philip and Jeanette if it was his full name? Jeanette and Philip. Philip and Jeanette. Yeah, he's first. Yeah. He's always first. Yeah.

Anyway, so I started watching it and then I was like, how are they going to do this? The sets are massive. It's just like Squid Game. I'm like, I don't know, did they film it in South Korea on the set?

Because it's actually, the whole set is huge and they stay in this massive hall with all the bunks and everything like that. For those that haven't seen Squid Game, I mean, everybody has, but in the show, they die. Yes, the premise is that they lose a challenge, they literally get murdered by these people in red suits. The people in red suits are there and I was like, how are they going to do this?

Do they like stun gun them? What do they do? So in their shirts, this isn't really a spoiler, but in their shirts, they've got the green and white tracksuit outfits on with their numbers. In their shirts is obviously a device that's connected to the control room.

And when they die, they're like, oh no, it goes. And there's like black blood. It's like black ink explodes on their chest. That's like what they do in movies, right? When people get shot, it's just a blood pack and it explodes. A blood pack and it explodes. But theirs is like black. But obviously they've been like schooled.

They keel over and they lie down until the challenge is done. It's so good. Some of them are like, oh, no. And then other of them are like, and they like put on like a little performance. Amazing. At first I was like, oh my God, stop it. I am so, it is so riveting. And then I read an article

before I started watching this about this one character, this like one woman and everyone was like, we're all rooting for her. I get it man. There's a mother and son duo there and the mother is like older, maybe 50s, 60s. You've got to watch it. You've got to watch it.

I'm loving it. And they do the challenge. Like they did Green Light, Red Light was the first one. Then they did The Cookie. So just like the show. Yeah. The drama you don't see in the TV show,

you see in this, which is like they have to choose. They've got to figure out who's doing the umbrella. And then soon's the drama you don't see in the TV show. You see it in this, which is like they have to choose. They've got to figure out who's doing the umbrella. And then there's all this stuff about, like, don't do this to me, man. Like, don't do it to me. I don't want the umbrella. I'm, like, choosing for a quarter of these people the umbrella.

What are they going to do for the, you won't be up to this, but you know the walkway with the glass that they fell through? I saw on the opening sequence, that's there. And then I'm seeing, I just read a news article, some of the contestants, I'm not trying to read it too far ahead because I'm genuinely invested, they're like suing the

production company because they're getting injured to all hell. That's the main headline. Yeah, but in Ecuador where there's no safety and health, I think they'll be fine, won't they? God bless Ecuador. Gosh. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Silly Little Pole. Today's Silly Little Pole.

It's about travel. Are you happy to travel solo? Run solo. Run solo. What are you doing there? Squatting some hip fly music. Right. Cheers, bro.

I like fly tunes too. Do you get down with the funky beats? I get down with funky beats. I don't know this about you. We're learning about each other. We've been friends for years. Having a travel solo, 70% of people said yes. 30% of people said no.

I've only done a big international solo once. Right. Other times I've been with my mum or with friends or with Aaron. And I... So when you were solo, you were all good? Yes.

My only thing was, I liked it because I like a little bit of me time. Barely left the hotel room. Anyway. But my only thing was, like,

you'd see something amazing, like I was in, like, Pisa or something. You'd be like, wow. And then a little part of you is like, oh, I wish I could just, like, share it with someone. Yeah. in like Pisa or something you'd be like wow and then a little part of you is like oh I wish I could just

like share it with someone or like turn to them and be like oh Erin look wow. And I guess it's also different if you're a woman travelling in some countries in some areas.

Yeah I've never been anywhere where I haven't felt safe. Yeah. But then some people also just ante it because I don't know they're scared

they don't want to just don't want to. Fair enough. Fear of the unknown. We've had want to. Yeah. Just don't want to. Fair enough. Fear of the unknown. We've had some feedback on this. What do the people say? Hannah said, I can then do what I... Maybe I can't read.

I can't? No, no. Hannah says, I can then do what I want, when I want, and where I want. YOLO, SOLO. So there was zero punctuation in that. That's where I struggled. I can, comma, then I do what I want, comma, when I want, comma, and where I want. Like, yes, I like solo travel.

I can then do what I want. Solo exclamation mark. Now, I'm not faulting Hannah. I'm tired and I can't read, apparently. Gemma says, why wait or miss out your friends Slash family Aren't in the position To travel Plus you make lots of friends While travelling

And get to plan An itinerary That suits you Heading away on a solo month Of travel Next week Good for you Gemma Do what you want

Yeah Megan says It's the god damn best Just came back From an eat Pray love trip Very heavy On the eat aspect

That would be my favourite part I'd love an eat pray love Sometimes love trip. Very heavy on the eat aspect. Yeah, it's my favourite part of it. Sometimes you eat too much and you can't love. Yeah. And then you pray. Yeah.

The digestive system kicks in because you want to love. What if you don't pray? Can you just do an eat, love talk? Well, the pray bit

was like yoga-y stuff, right? You could pray on someone. Eat, lift, love. Eat, lift, love. And was like yogary stuff, right? You could pray on someone. Eat, lift, love. Eat, lift, love. And just like gym every couple of days. Yeah, you just like travel around the world

and be like, lift, bro. And then love. Right. Yeah, sweet. Eat, lift, love. I have kids. Anything solo is amazing. Yeah.

They'll be on you. Melissa. Maybe that's on you. Do you know what I mean? Literally sitting in the airport now waiting to travel solo back home. Now, Melissa's profile picture is a wedding photo. Oh.

Oh, my God. Where's the husband? Were you traveling solo when you were with Aaron? Yep. Oh, yeah. Because I did like marching trips. I'd go over and then afterwards I'd be like, well, I'm not going to go home. I was like, hang out on my own.

He's done solo trips as well. To clown school in France. Carl said, I'm a fletch, and when I travel, I hate other people slowing me down. I don't. Yeah. No, I've traveled with lots of friends, and they're all great people to travel with. I haven't traveled overseas with either of you, but I feel like I wouldn't be able to keep up. What, with my walking?

With your walking. Especially with the cobblestones, you know. I'm more organised, very organised. I would love to be organised by you, for sure. I'm that person, you know those TikToks where people are like, I just turn up and my friends booked all the travel. Oh my God, my friend organised this whole trip. Yeah, that's Fletch.

That's me. I think if you could find me in Warrnambar, the three of us would travel together quite well. We would do it all right. Absolutely. Kate said, I do it, but I prefer travelling with others. Solo is okay en route, but when I go somewhere, I need help to extend my comfort zone.

Otherwise, I'll just hermit in a hotel room. You're in another country. You've got to get out there. You've got to get out there. People that don't do certain things solo irritate me, says Kate, and then she put hashtag today's grumpy Lisa. So she's picking up the mantle of grumpy Lisa for today. You've got to get out there.

You're in another country. Yeah. Okay. Here's Claire. This is a lengthy one. Hell yes, it's so much better. However, the downside I have found was photos. You end up with loads of photos of scenery, parts of all small buildings.

Like selfies. And awkward bad selfies of you posing in places that you can barely make out, like the Tower of London, for example, due to my short arms. Have you heard of selfie sticks? No, because you would dare not attempt a selfie stick because of any potential hot travel fling who may be nearby. I selfie sticked. Did you?

Yeah, I mean, this was a few years ago. That was when selfie sticks were a thing. It was like 2015, 2016. So I feel like now if you have a selfie stick, people are laughing at you. But totally. The photos from my solo trip, I went to some of the most beautiful places.

They suck. Yeah. Because you're not in them. You can ask people to take your photo. They'll steal your phone. They'll steal your phone. Yeah, you just roll the dice. Yeah.

She said, I went to upload a photo of, look, I'm living the dream in London. It was just a big nose with smudged makeup in front of an old gateway and a ticket store. Has someone ever asked went to upload a photo of, look, I'm living the dream in London. It was just a big nose, smudged makeup in front of an old gateway and a ticket store. Has someone ever asked you to take their photo at a landmark and then you see them asking someone else to take the photo afterwards because they weren't happy with it? No, because I do well. I do well. I make sure I take great photos because I've had that before when you're somewhere beautiful.

You're like, can you take a photo? You look at it, you're like, how lame is that photo? And you have to wait for them to leave and then take another one. Yeah. So, yeah, don't hold back. Don't wait. You're off on a big solo trip. You make a lot of friends though on the road.

Do it. Do it. You make a lot of friends on that road. Well, I'm very friendly. He's very open. Very open faced. Next on the show, Vaughn, you're back from your Disney cruise. Five days. It wasn't my idea of a holiday, that's for sure. Yeah, I'll tell you, we were looking at the social media little clips and stuff being like,

oh, you didn't hear that. A lot of other New Zealand media people were on there. And they said, oh, like Ben was there from Jono and Ben. And he's like, oh, were you like co-hosts and stuff, that you got to do this and they didn't? I was like were you like co-hosts and stuff dark that you got to do this and they didn't I was like my two co-hosts

would hate every aspect of this I think I said hell on earth once at least yeah it looks like they don't have kids they don't like kids they're not Disney orientated

no worst nightmare yeah so I said absolutely not but when there was one bicker I'm not even going to call it an argument or a fight

between Sade and I on the whole cruise one bicker. I'm not even going to call it an argument or a fight between Sade and I on the whole cruise. One bicker. It's next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Just moving my microphone. Now, Vaughn's very tired today.

It's his first day in radio. It's my first day, and boy, I tell you what, I'm loving this career change. People said, Vaughn, don't give up law. It's a career that you can do till you die. You're doing so well. I said, I won't have it. I want to work in the media.

And they're like, which part? And I said, radio. Wow. Wow. And now here he is, Vaughan. And then we ran a competition where we were looking for a co-host. That's actually how Vaughan got his job. And I'm here.

Oh, really? Nearly 20 years ago. Did you not know that? Sorry. Hang on. Did you get your job through a competition? It was a raffle, yeah. Which is so horrible to work with.

They couldn't find anybody to go through the normal application process. They had a raffle. It was rigged in a way because we chose the one person with a radio degree. Yeah, right. Yeah, so it was kind of like, yeah. A minimal experience that would work for $30,000 and not question it. How bizarre. Yeah.

I'm still learning about my friends. All these years later, he knows how to turn on a microphone. Yeah, he does. It's good stuff. On, off, on, off, on, off, on, off. Here I am. So last week I was on a Disney cruise. The Disney Wonder is part of the Disney cruise ship fleet.

There's three of them. Yep. I saw it. I was there on Saturday. It was a big? It was. It's not the biggest. No, no, no.

It's still pretty. And it has like. It's wild. I forgot all the time I was on a ship. Forgot all the time I was on a ship. I went through a movie on a ship. Where did you think you were? At a full-size theater.

Do you think you're in a little apartment or something? I just forgot where I was on a ship. I wanted to throw a movie on a ship. Where did you think you were? In a full-size theatre. Do you think you're in a little apartment or something? I just forgot where I was. Like, there was a theatre for performance. I saw three, like, performances. One was Frozen. Broadway-level, like, production. It was insane. Amazing. One was called The Golden Mickeys, and it was like...

I'm sorry, the what? It was like the Oscars. And they, like, they awarded Oscars to different Disney characters and they did like little performances and stuff. And then on the last night, they did this like Broadway show of like, which has apparently won an award for the best cruise ship entertainment in the world.

That's cool. I'd be into that side of it. It was cool. So there was like three of those. It was like a movie theater. I watched the Marvels because if they release, Disney released a movie in cinemas

at the same time they put it on their cruise ships. So I went and watched the Marvels with gorgeous gorgeous Brie Larson and we just watched a movie and I forgot and then we walked out

are you walking around not really in the cinema nah because I get seasick as well I didn't get seasick good one it was great I really enjoyed it

still sounds like hell on earth a lot more than I thought I would because I've never been a cruise guy because I'm like ocean adjacent I'm not a huge fan of the deep ocean I've seen before I'd rather go to space than because I'm like ocean adjacent. I'm not a huge fan of the deep ocean. I've seen before I'd rather go to space than go deep in the ocean.

Okay. Yeah. Kind of like being a little bit bisexual. I'd rather die. I don't want to do either of them. A little bit more curious. Yeah. Scared. Scared of what my religious family will say.

Bisexual adjacent. Yeah, bisexual adjacent. Okay. I demand representation. Not acting, just looking. So it was great. No touching, just looking so it was great no touching just looking

and you'd just be walking around and they're like Chippendale would walk past you we're going for a walk and we turn around this corner

and Chippendale were playing what's that one where you've got a disc and you like run and shove it along the ground and it skids

oh like curling like curling but you do it with a skiff skiffle what is it in that suit being paid to do that.

There is a Toy Focardi graduate in that suit, no doubt. And you're like, could have been you. Hey, Dale. And they turn and they're like, hi. And they'll put that sign in there. Do they do a voice? Oh, they don't. And like pretend to laugh.

And then you're walking around another corner and Donald Duck's like fooling around, not fooling around sexually, fooling around with like goofy and non-sexual. No pants on though. No pants. So, you know, it's getting there. And so it was amazing. And we found at the front of the ship on the top level was like a basketball

court and some foosball tables and ping pong. I love ping pong. Now, I've realized when we started to play ping pong, Sade and I in our 20 years of being together have never played ping pong. Now, I've realized when we started to play ping pong, Sade and I in our 20 years of being together have never played ping pong against each other. Oh, cute. And the last time there was ping pong on holiday, that was in Thailand, wasn't it?

And that was a very different ping pong. They didn't give you a paddle to hit the ball back. That's for sure. That certainly won't be on a Disney cruise. No. Heavens to Betsy, no. Maybe an adults only one. So Sade's like, should we play table tennis?

I was like, yeah, okay. And, you know, genetically, she's got an advantage because she's Asian. She's half Chinese.

Right, okay. Right. Is that a thing, is it? It's gotta be. Okay. It's very good. It's like dating a Russian. Imagine dating a Russian

and they weren't good at chess. Or gymnastics. How disappointing would it be if you met a Romanian who couldn't do a roly poly? No, you'd be upset. And it's not racist because it's a compliment.

They don't call it pad a tent. No, what are they? Ping pong. They call it table tennis. Table tennis or ping pong. I'm just looking up the current champion. Yeah, Fan Jing Dong.

Because I grew up with a table tennis table. Yeah, dude. The men's singles champ for the second time. Oh, so good. I love ping pong. So we started playing

and I'm not very good at it. I'm not very good at racket sports. I hit too hard for tennis and it goes over the back line or I hit it straight into the neck. So high and wide. How do they get the angle? How do they smack it that hard but get it right? And it still goes in the square.

Oh, no. I'm beginning to think I couldn't go to Wimbledon. No, no. Yes, you could. Only if Will Smith's my coach. Because he played the King Richard. Yeah, got it, got it. We got that.

We got it. Run you through why. I remember that night well. That was kind of a joke, but not really. If you have to explain your jokes, I don't know if that's working. No, I'm pretty sure that's how it works. Is it? And so.

As a comedian. Yeah. That's how it works. Okay. We were playing and I was not winning. And then as a joke, I said, I'm changing how I'm holding the bat. And I went from holding it like a standard bat to the upside down position where you hold the handle but the paddle's coming down to your wrist.

Is that a thing? Do people actually play like that properly? Is that allowed? I don't know the legalities of it. Right. Anyway, the change in grip completely changed my game. I started smashing her. And she's like, you're cheating. They don't know the legalities of it. Right. Anyway, the change in grip completely changed my game. I started smashing her.

And she's like, you're cheating. And I said, I'm simply not cheating. And she said, you've changed your grip. I said, feel free to also change your grip. I don't believe what I'm doing here is against. And by the way, I said, even if it is against international ping pong protocol, we're in international waters, baby. Oh, there's no rules. No rules out here.

I'm the pirate of ping pong. So you can do anything on a cruise ship. Anything. Oh my God, you did some stuff. You did some stuff. You really did. Pedal holding. Let's just say I won't be able to look Kim Crossman in the eye again. In table tennis, there are

three main grips. She is a deviant. There is the shake hand grip or European grip. Yeah, that's standard. The pinhold grip. Yeah. Chinese grip in brackets. And the Japanese Korean pinhold grip, which is a variation of the pinhold style.

So you're like a bat hand, basically. But it was, because I only did it as a joke. Right. I only did it as a joke, but it did completely change my ping pong game. And I just absolutely started destroying her. And so this is the source of your only argument on holiday.

The only bicker on board was that she was claiming my hold was illegal, the way I was holding it, and that I had changed it mid-game. Is that how you were holding? That's the shake hand grip. That's forward. I can't see that. He's holding it forward, but up. No, not quite. Show me the other one. I think I had the Japanese.

That one. No. That's the pen hold. How a badass holds a knife. That one, that's a new kind of pen hold. New pen hold. No, not exactly. I held it like how you would imagine a ninja holds blades.

Like back down the wrist. Yeah, I like that. This desk we're sitting at actually is ripe for a little net across here. Because we had a ping pong table and you used to get the adjustable nets. You could put it on anything. Absolutely. You could umpire. And we could ping pong.

And we could ping pong. But it was great because I didn't get sweaty and there was no running around. And last time I played tennis, I got a really sore back. Really sore back. I think you found your sport. Ping pong. You're a ping pong boy. Table tennis.

Okay. With a reverse pen style grip. We'll see you at the Los Angeles Olympics and whenever those are. You bet. I'm like Forrest Gump when he just started. That was all computer generated,

by the way. Yeah, it was. In 1994, computers were capable of that. Yeah. Amazing. Okay. It is the return

of the firefighters calendar where they take off their tops and they pose with axles. And I'm looking at the man

and I'm liking what I'm seeing. Didn't they do one recently, but they were with kids? Yeah. It was all like, yay kids. Yay kids.

Get out of here, kids. Yeah, we want the firefighters with no shirts on. You're blocking the nipples. Okay. Kiwi firefighters calendar for 2024. All profits going to Movember. That's great. Which is a great cause.

Let's go. Wait, you've been sent like a little PDF of the... Baby, I'm printing all. I am printing all. On the colour. Okay, yep. So we've got... Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. One, two, three, four, eight. He's got an eight pack. That's not fair. He's so ripped that leading to his pubes, like underneath... He's got an eight pack. That's not fair. He's so ripped that leading to his puke, like underneath. He's got the gutters. He's got the gutters and there's like veins in the gutters. There's a vein in the gutter.

My computer's auto darkened. Don't you dare. Did anyone else just see Hayley turn up the brightness on her? Okay, here's another daddy-o. He's got sort of like a seven pack, but good for you. Work on the other side. He's got a big axe. Wait, do they use axes? What do they use axes for?

Is that an axe in your pants or are you pleased as you be? See, now this guy's more my vibe. To get the door open. Now we don't have a pack, you know, a softer bod. That's a bit of me. Look at the names. He needs a beard though for you, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah. Bevan! I'm into Bevan James. Okay.

Look at the names. Hello. Cameron, you see that? Cameron.. I'm into Bevan James. Okay. I forgot the names. Hello. Cameron. Cameron Graham. Cameron. Bit of someone else. Bit of someone else. Yeah, bit clean for me. Bit clean for me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bit clean for you. Chuck a beard on you there. He's got the gutters too. He's got the gutters too. He's got the gutters and the guns. Oh, yeah. He's got the gutters and the guns in there.

And I'll say it, the perfect size nipple. There must be some hot competition to be in the calendar. Oh, Gaston's a Zubri. Gaston. You're looking bloody good. Now, I know that you can't hear this. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Gaston, Gaston.

No one fights fires like Gaston. I'm looking for a bit of burl here. Oh, yeah. There's what we've got. A bit of you. Tats and an axe. Tats and an axe. Tats and an axe.

He's covered in tats. He's absolutely covered in tats. So you can buy this, I believe, now with all pros. Oh, you look like a nice guy. Too nice for me. Oh, yeah. I love how you've just basically. Here's a bit of.

Yeah, here's a bit of. I'm just picking someone for every room. I can't even string a centre. Also, last time there was female firefighters. Oh, so you're a bit upset there's no sanguine. Well, I just know the lesbians.

And I love calendars. You, every year, still get a Xena calendar, don't you? Every year. One's an Olympian. I'm just trying to find it. It's Steve Kent. You've just successfully objectified all of the months of the calendar there.

Yeah. Well, I'm welcome. Like Thomas Grigg, Keegan Gilder, Louis Maxwell. As I said, you can just bloody objectify me if you want. Well, it's on sale now. $20 at kiwifirefighterscalendar.co.nz. And like you say, profits to Movember. I literally feel dizzy.

I know I just had a coffee and I still coffee hits me hard, but the combination of coffee and calendar. Does it say like what area they work in? Like if you say you just had a call out at your apartment because another false alarm, just say. Imagine being like, help, help, my house is on fire and may I have Isaac Paul from November please. My nan's smoke

alarm battery's there changing and she has requested Jason Rice of March. She wants June and March. Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I would say one of my favourite

websites of all time is TMZ. If you don't know TMZ, what does it stand for? The Mad Zine. What does it stand for? I don't know. I've actually never thought about it. What does TMZ stand for? It's like a celebrity, like on the pulse celebrity gossip,

but sometimes it's so cramped. The name TMZ stands for 30 Mile Zone after the historic studio zone around Hollywood. Oh, right. It's everything they have. West Beverly. Yeah. So I'm guessing that's where-

It's the worst. Yeah. TMZ is the absolute pit. It is a cesspool of junk. But they know everything before it breaks. Literally before it goes to your kind of more trusted celeb news sources, if there is such a thing.

Do they pay off like cops to be like, get the inside word? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Paparazzi. They'll do anything for that story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It'll be like literally they'll be the first to report something massive. They'll also report like, John Hamm spotted.

Doing his shit. And you're like, okay, awesome. Thank you very much. Because they were the first with the Matthew Perry news, right? Yeah. They were, yeah. Yeah. I don't know Doing a shit. And you're like, okay, awesome. Thank you very much. Because they were the first with the Matthew Perry news, right? Yeah. They were, yeah. Yeah, I don't know how they know.

They've just got people on the ground. Anyway, I was on TMZ because I love my celeb goss. And it was a whole bunch. They had an article about a whole bunch of celebrities doing the like Christmas shopping on the Black Friday sales and stuff. I would have meant Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving sales. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's Brad Pitt. What's in Brad Pitt's trolley? Oh, there is Jon Hamm. Jon Hamm had boxes of, was it turkeys? A lot of turkeys.

He had boxes and boxes of meat. Don't they have people to go and get them things? Stella Maxwell. I went to high school with her. Remember the bloody Victoria's Secret model? Yeah, so what happened to her? She got really famous. Oh, yeah.

No, she ended up dating Miley Cyrus and stuff. She's a Victoria's Secret model. I guess we all became successful. Yeah, that's what I'm just kind of disconfirming. Class of 2007, Girls of Queen Margaret. God, look at her and look at you. I guess we all became very successful. Yeah, that's what I'm just kind of disembarrassed in. Class of 2007, Girls of Queen Margaret. God, look at her and look at you. I guess we all became very successful. Yeah. And hot.

And hot. And I guess we all had a major glow up. Yeah. I was so hot at 17. Oh, she was just very like, she was stunningly beautiful, but very like shy and kind of like more pretty and then she like shaved her hair off and everyone was like, hot! Damn! Kind of like me.

Yeah, I was going to say much like you. Thank you. Yeah, you're just like, whoa! Did she wear a shell necklace? That hair was holding you back. Did she wear a shell necklace in the 2000s? Did she wear a shell necklace? No, she didn't wear a shell necklace.

She wasn't that cool. Seriously, everyone's dressing like the early 2000s. Yeah, they don't like it at all. You're going to look back at photos and not like it, guys. My number one question with what's happening in fashion at the moment is where would you like me to put my muffin top? Where do you want that to go? Are we going back to low rise?

Where would you want me to put that? Yeah, no, don't do that again. Crop, like super crop tops and low rise. Where's all that going? You just tuck it in. Something Stella Maxwell doesn't have to worry about. Anyway, it was just so weird seeing all these major celebrities just buying a turkey for Thanksgiving and then hitting the sales.

I'm like, what do you need a sale for? You're a millionaire. Do you remember ages ago we talked about, we were talking to that guy off Game of Thrones. Not a major character. Alfie Allen. No, the big guy. Yeah, and he said he went to the supermarket

at the height of Game of Thrones. He would go at like midnight, go to one of those 24-hour supermarkets because people wouldn't see and judge what was in his trolley. The Kardashians had a whole episode where the game was Kris Jenner went to the supermarket. She was like, oh my God, you've totally lost touch. She wouldn't know how much a bottle of milk costs. No, she wouldn't. You know, like they love to do that. Well, Jordan had to cut a cucumber my God, you've totally lost touch. She wouldn't know how much a bottle of milk costs.

No, she wouldn't. You know, like they love to do that. Well, Jordan had to cut a cucumber, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Anyway, it just really tickled me seeing these celebrities just doing these normal human things. And I was like, because we all probably did a little bit of shopping over the weekend in one way or another.

I bought some napkins. Lovely. I bought some Christmas napkins. I panicked. Are they reusable ones or just like paper ones? No, I bought paper ones. I know, I've got reusable. Anyway, I want to know if you've ever seen

like a celebrity sighting of them out shopping. And what were they buying? If you've ever seen a celebrity in the wild, and what were they buying? Maybe it was like toothpaste, and you're like, what the hell? If you saw a big celebrity at the supermarket, you would 100% look in their trolley and judge it, right?

Yeah. But we've had so many, especially in New Zealand, we've had so many celebrities and they love coming here because they get to just be chill. Yeah. But like Jason Momoa's been here for ages. He's probably popping out and getting a little... What's in his trolley, do you reckon? Shaved ham. Do you reckon he's a shaved ham guy? He's a big

deli guy. Quick, easy protein. I reckon he'd be a bachelor handbag destroyer. Yeah. He would munch a chicken. He would munch a chicken. He would munch a chicken. He would tear it apart. Okay, well, have you seen a celebrity shopping, and what were they buying? Whether it was food, your daily essentials,

or like a big ticket item. What was it? 0800-DARLS-AT-M is our number. Give us a call now. You can text through 9696. Have you ever spotted a celebrity shopping? What were they buying? Give us a call.

Well, with Thanksgiving in America, the paparazzi have snapped a lot of celebrities just going about everyday life doing a supermarket shop. Jon Hamm buying three boxes of turkeys really makes me laugh. He's carrying three. He must have a massive family. What was Brad Pitt buying? He just has a trolley like it's just supermarket things.

But everyone was like, don't you have someone for that? Yeah. But they're out, they're out and about. Have you seen a celebrity shopping and what were they buying? That is the question this morning. Shelly, what celebrity did you spot and what were they buying? I saw Kelis

in Primark in London, which is like the cheapest clothing store ever. Primark? I don't have a bad word to say about Primark, but it is. It's like Supre. It's like Nehru. The people of Bangladesh have got bad words to say about Primark.

Oh, they stitch help me into the clothing, but, you know, it's cheap. Wait, I thought you were about to say you saw Khalees buying a milkshake, and I was like, that would have been pretty good. That would have been amazing. But we were following her around awkwardly, you know. Of course.

Thank you, Reason London. And he decided to see her. And staring at her and she just barked at us, just ask, just say it. Wait, she turned around and said just ask. And did you get a selfie? No, absolutely not. Oh, no, I would have just been like, oh, yeah, okay, that's embarrassing.

Look, she's having a bad day. She's in Primark, you know what I mean? Shelly, thanks, you're cool. Melissa, she's having a bad day. She's in Primark, you know what I mean? Shelly, thanks, you're cool. Melissa, what celebrities did you see and what were they buying? Yeah, hi. So I was travelling back from Canada through LAX with my marching team. Oh, Kia ora, what team did you march for? Hang on, just a stuffy story.

What team did you march for? The Nazis. I used to march for Pioneers of Canterbury Seniors. Oh, Kia ora. When used to march for Pioneers of Canterbury Seniors. Oh, Kyoto. When did you march for Pioneers of Canterbury? I marched for them for like 10 years. Nobody cares. Did you compete against Storm?

Were we mortal enemies? Multiple times. Multiple times. Oh, yeah. Let's catch up. Wait, who won? Did you always beat them, Hayley? Yeah, we did.

Oh, sorry. We don't talk about that. We don't talk about that. We don't talk about that. Oh, what's the bell for? Oh, so nobody cares bell. I thought that was the hot person bell or the first time caller bell. It's both, but now it's also a third question. Should we change the phone to who did you march for and how long?

So what celebrities were at LAX? So, yeah, we're travelling through and, you know, just in the convenience store grabbing our lollies and all that stuff you need on the plane. And Kanye West and Kim Cuddy came with you. Oh, that's massive. I've seen them at the airport too. Have you?

Yeah, I saw them in LAX once. Yeah, and so what were they buying? Did they have to go to that little store like everybody else? Yeah, well, I think they go through the New Zealand part, the Air New Zealand part, because it's not as busy. Right. Because they're on a private plane, well, I think they go through the New Zealand part, the Air New Zealand part, because it's not as busy. Right. Because they're on a private plane, obviously, but they're still going to go through customs and whatever.

So, yeah, they're in this tiny little horrible convenience store buying Skittles and water. Skittles! Everybody loves Skittles. Everybody loves Skittles, yeah. Even Kim Kardashian loves Skittles, man. How bizarre. What did you think of her in real life?

Because she's so short, hey? She's so tiny and she's like stunningly beautiful. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Not you. It wasn't for you there, Vaughan. That wasn't in common with you, Vaughan, no. She just described me as a tiny little petite thing.

Melissa, thank you. And stunningly beautiful. We're talking about where you've seen a celebrity shopping and what they were buying. A whole lot of celebrities doing Thanksgiving shopping

and stuff. It's just weird to see them doing like normal things. But then like I thought about it, maybe the people that work for them have gone home for the whole day.

Oh yeah, so they're like, oh sorry Brad Pitt, you've got to go to the supermarket by yourself. Get your own potatoes. Yeah. I ran into The Big Show.

Now The Big Show's a very famous wrestler, WWE wrestler. Oh yeah. Massive dude, unmistakably large. Yep. And he was buying

a fruit salad mix in Walmart. I don't know what, but Walmart does a good fruit salad mix. Walmart I don't know what Walmart does a good Fruit salad mix Do they? Yeah you'd be all about What's in it? You're getting like

A massive thing of Whatever Not melon heavy Oh no You're going to get A little melon heavy They'll be melon heavy I've come around to melons

I've come around to melons No I've come around to melons It feels like you're being cheated Yeah They're always melon heavy Melon Rock melon

Rock melon Because it's cheap Come around to rock melon What's the green one. Melon. Rock melon. Rock melon. Because it's cheap. Come around to rock melon. What's the green one? Melon. People pick the grapes out and that's normally me if I'm early at the salad.

Do you know what I like in a fruit salad? A mandarin segment. A mandarin segment. It's having a mandarin right now. You are. Who's segmenting

all those mandarins? I don't know but I'm just getting one here. Thank you. Passed right to you. Someone said some other messages. I saw Jacinda and H&M in Auckland with their bodyguards a few years ago

buying baby clothes. Oh, yeah, they do good baby clothes. I was in Starbucks in China and David Beckham was there ordering a coffee. How about that? David bloody Beckham. I thought you were about to do a hello. Hello. Oh, my name's David.

I don't still get to the end. They're like, a coffee for Deveux. Yeah. Oh, it name's David. Still get to the end. They're like, a coffee for DeVoe. Yeah. Oh, it's only bloody me. It's me, the best footballer of all time. My father was a hard man. David Beckham is the inspiration behind The Orphans. He made me who I am.

Who I is. I haven't watched Shedoco, but everyone's raving about it. Haven't you? No. Oh, you simply must. It's an easy watch and it's really very inspiring. I saw David Bain in Bunnings buying a shovel. And this isn't even a joke.

I just saw David Bain buying a shovel. Well, yeah. Everybody needs a shovel. Everybody needs to go to Bunnings. I've got a wobbly handle on my shovel at the moment. Talk for another time. Text David Bain and see if you can borrow it. Bain-o.

Bain-o, it's born out. Bain-o. Bain-o. Smitty, man. can I borrow your shovel? Davo. Bano. It's like, who's this? I served Carlos Spencer at Placemakers in the early 2000s

buying nuts and bolts. I'd never seen such a burly man, and I didn't recognise him. It was only when my two male 40-plus co-workers came over to fangirl over all-black Carlos Spencer that I worked out who he was. I went shopping with John Rhys Davies. Now that's the guy that played... The comedian. No, the actor.

Oh, right. He played Gimli in Lord of the Rings, right? Right. That's him. Big massive dude. Big beard. Okay. He was in Indiana Jones as well. I helped him choose a new printer for his house. And boy, can that man hang a long price. Is this the best you can do?

Is this the best you can do? Is this the best you can do? I'm Gimli, son of Gloin. Just take it. Just take it. Just have it. My sorry. Shortland Street, a loom. Oh, okay.

A very high profile Shortland Street, a loom. Yeah. Buying two lubes. Two lubes. Not one lube. Don't poop a lube, you know. I'm not pooping a lube. I'm not poop, a loom. Yeah. Buying two lubes. Two lubes. Not one lube. Don't poo-poo a lube, you know? I'm not poo-pooing a lube. I'm not poo-pooing a lube.

There's room for lube in every sideboard. Well, there'll certainly be room now. Yes, sir. Have some respect. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, I would say we narrowly avoided war with Canada. And we don't want two of the nicest countries at war, and we would have started that.

It would have just been like, you meanie. Yeah, well, we're not going to bomb you, okay? Yeah, well. Yeah, well, don're not going to bomb you, okay? Yeah, well. Yeah, well, don't do that, Canada. We're going to shoot guns at you. We were never going to do that, okay? We don't know what this is about. We're just here to fight you. Don't know what the fight was.

But the whole incident, you may remember this from a few Fridays ago. It's Shania Twain. You talk about let's go girls. remember this from a few Fridays ago. It's Shania Twain. You guys! You're talking about you've got to start it again. You're talking about Let's Go Girls. What? You're talking about

Let's Go Girls. Oh my God. You think you know someone or you think you know someone? You're fired. Shut your mouth. You start it and no one say a word.

Okay. Oh my God. The fader went down. Oh my God. Should we make it look like bloody rocket science over here? Oh my God. Should make it look like bloody rocket science. Oh, my gosh.

Now who's talking over the song? You did that on purpose. You did that on purpose. He was on that sentence and you pushed go. Now who's talking over the song? I was born. Strike three. Stop.

You're out. Stop. Let's go, girls. That's how you let it start. You never talk over the Let's Go. I that's how you let it start. You never talk over the let's go girls. I actually feel upset to hear it again. It was jarring. The abuse we put through.

It was all from you, actually, Fletch. Let's go, girls, and then that. What do you call it? Is it a riff? Yeah, like... You never talk over this. I didn't know, but it was apparently a crime. And it went on TikTok and Reels and Instagram. It went a little bit crazy. And I tell you what, no one was apparently a crime. And it went on TikTok and Reels and Instagram.

It went a little bit crazy. And I tell you what, no one was on your side. No, I know. I was wearing it, wasn't I? I think we lost a lot of listeners that day. Yeah, we did. And then over the weekend. And I'm really surprised because the story disappeared.

And then that's when we found out about this news. Shania Twain commented on the video. Shania Twain, the queen herself. Shania Twain commented on the video. Not only that, she shared it on her Instagram story. She shared the TikTok. I know. This was a big moment for me, man.

Like, come on over. That album, me and my mum listened to that, like, religiously. Yeah. That whole album is pure gold. It is audio gold. There has been no woman that captured my father's heart, apart from my mother, like Shania Twain. Really?

I mean, she captures a lot. Put a country woman in a leopard suit and I'm there. Oh, my God. So Shania Twain commented on the video, that video, she said never capital letters, never invite me on your show. Now that's all she

wrote. No laughing emoji. No punctuation. We've upset Shania. Oh my god. We've upset Shania. Who's upset Shania? Oh yeah, sorry. Fletch is upset. I upset the queen herself.'s upset Shania? Oh, yeah, sorry. Fletch is upset. Fletch is upset. Fletch is upset.

I upset the Queen herself. I upset Shania Twain. How, sir? How absolutely do you? And Vaughn, do you know we've kind of been lumped in as a station with this prick? Like we've sort of been... It's wild. Like our reputation has been sullied by his mistake.

Yeah, well, no one can say the word Fletch without following it up with Vaughn and Hayley. I know. Yeah. You literally don't even have your own identity. You are Vaughan and Hayley. I know. Yeah. You literally don't even have your own identity. I'm so sorry. You are Vaughan and Hayley. I'm so sorry.

So, Shania Twain says, never invite me on your show. And then who wrote this next bit? Because that's quite mean, actually. We apologise. The FEHZM official TikTok account said, we apologise thoroughly for the efforts of our button pusher. Now that's,

at that day, all you were. You didn't deserve. We threw you. We threw you under the bus. Wow. You didn't deserve the title shock jock

that you so love. That you love to be described as a shock jock. I'm definitely not a shock jock. Yeah. He's a shock jock with a shocking jockies. But then,

Shania Twain replies to that comment saying, only joking, this made me laugh so much, guys. We love her. Laugh face with tears coming out. Laugh face with tears coming out. She's all good, guys. She's good. Because I thought maybe we were going to have to

apologise to Canada. I think maybe we need to send her flowers or something and just say we're so sorry for pissing all over your song, basically. She needs to get back over here too. She needs to come on over. She needs to come on in.

You know? Come on over. Come on in. Oh, my God, Shania. That's good stuff. I can't believe you nearly offended her. I know. Well, she's good about it.

She's good about it. It would have been a ripple of damage. You are lucky. Play ZM's F about it. She's good about it. It would have been a record of damage. You are lucky. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. David, get a seer on ZM. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, just quickly. David, get a seer in the Pussycat Remix. Not enough cat songs.

Not enough cat songs. At the end it makes a noise. It's just like... Could be... David, get a seer and Rolly. Could be. You're done. You're done. David Guetta, Sia and Rolly. You're done. Coming up soon, we are giving the chance all this week to win tickets to see Coldplay live

in New Zealand. You've got to register at ZM Online. And then if we call you back, and we're going to do this in about the next 15 minutes, you've got to answer the phone with yellow. Like yellow there's someone. Yellow. Yellow. And it was all

bing bing yellow if you don't you don't win the tickets that's how it works you get nothing we're going to do that soon on the show

so Friday right Friday I emceed a corporate awards at a great time yeah it was nice how much

did they pay you to do that thousands anyway yeah man I could pay I could pay for a roof I could pay for a floor How much do they pay you to do that? Thousands Anyway Yeah Man I gotta pay for a roof Gotta pay for a floor Yeah right

She's working man She's hustling She's hustling What did you do on Friday night? You went to the pub with the gays And had some bloody wines and stuff I was off working I was off working

So yeah I get paid Yeah I got paid for it So it was in Rotorua And I'd love any excuse to go down there And I was like great off working. So yeah, I get paid. Yeah, I got paid for it. So it was in Rotorua and I'd love any excuse to go down there. And I was like, great. I had a little brekkie with you in which I had my second coffee of the day.

Mistake. Second coffee, man. You broke. Miss I don't drink coffee when she started on Breakfast Radio. Oh yeah. Now every morning. You were so righteous. She was so righteous about it too. She's like, people who don't drink coffee can suck it.

I'm sick of hearing, hey, I don't actually drink that. This morning I thought, because I only like iced coffees, and I thought this morning, I could just make them. I've got a coffee machine at home. Now that's where it starts, right?

Now I'm having a coffee on the way in. Then I'm having one at seven with you guys, probably one with you afterwards at brunch. And who am I? Anyway, I had my second coffee with you and then I popped up to a store and I wanted to buy a really nice dress and I bought an expensive formal dress because I knew

that I do these events quite a lot and I've got weddings coming up and I was like, I can justify the price. And it's a tax write-off. And it's a tax write-off. Well, kind of. Not anymore. Not if you can't ever wear it again. We've talked about ABBA. You know how ABBA, the band, had such wild outfits on stage. It was so they could make them a full ever wear it again. Yeah, that's what... We've talked about ABBA. You know how ABBA, the band, had such wild outfits on stage.

It was so they could make them a full tax write-off. Yeah, yeah. Because it has to be something you can't wear in any other situation. Oh, wow. Okay. So if it's a costume... Yeah.

Yep. So I went to a New Zealand designer, spent a lot of money, dress in the bag, right? And it's in the thing. Then I hit the road to... Road to Vegas, Rotorua. And it was great. Which way did you go? Is that how I went? Straight through... right and it's in the thing then I hit the road to Rota Vegas what to do and which way did you go right through way come at 110 which and it was great yeah

I forget that you don't even go through Hamilton these days yeah by passing real sad for people in Hamilton though they They're alright. No, they don't, they like the less trash. They literally don't care. Sad for the people of Huntley who shall never be visited again. Anyway, so I was on the highway and at that point

I sort of needed to go to the toilet. I needed to wee. You know, I've got quite a weak bladder. Always need to wee. And there's always those like BP kind of truck stop things and whatnot. And I was like,

ah, I'm alright. I'm all good. Then they sort of stop and they pit her out and then I saw one which meant I'd get off and have to go on the other side and I was like, ah, I just want to get there. So I'm busting at this point. Okay. I am busting. There are so many toilets

along the way. I know. And I just was in this headspace where I couldn't stop. Then I got to Tiro and I was like, Tiro is a real good place to stop. Public toilets, cafes. Free water. The dog?

The corrugated dog. The corrugated dog. They've got a fountain with water and it's the same spring that they get the age to go from. Amazing. Was it? There was petrol stations

and I was like... Antique shops. Antique shops. Hell of a custard square. Saw those on the way back. But anyway, on the way there, I was doing that thing where I was like, oh, there, there, there. Oh, I passed it.

Damn it. Oh, pull over there. Go and, oh, damn it, I passed it. And next thing I knew, I was sort of through Tiro. Do you not have a steering wheel? I didn't stop. I don't know why. My brain was just like so distracted by how much I needed to pee

that I just like panicked and couldn't stop. And then after you leave Tiro, you head onto the Thermal Explorer Highway on which, not a toilet, but I didn't know this. So I'm heading on the highway. There's a cafe in the glides. It would have been shut.

What time is this? After lunch-ish. Hadn't stopped for lunch either. So I'm just, I'm busting. I'm busting to wee. I get on the Thermal Explorer Highway. I'm about a kilometre in and I was like, far out. I'm going to wee my pants.

Yeah. So it's still a long way to Rotorua too. Yeah, still a long way to go. Like an hour. But the Thermal Explorer Highway really has like nothing. Now, something happens to me when I'm busting to wee. Excuse me. It's got thermal stuff.

Yeah, but I'm not going to pee in them. No. It would be sacrilege. I'm Maori, that feels wrong. You know what I mean? Anyway, so... You don't want to park your exposed vagina over a geyser. You don't.

That thing would lift you off your feet and fill you up like a water bottle. I don't want to be filled up like that. It'd steam your yoni though, wouldn't it? I wouldn't. Yeah, I know, but for how long do you leave it? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway, something happens to me when I'm busting to wee.

My bladder gets so full, it kind of pushes against whatever else is in there. And often if I'm really busting to wee, I'll really need to poop as well. It's like there's not enough space down there because I'm so petite. Not enough space down there that everything needs to come out to make room for this expanding bladder.

So now I don't even worry about needing to pee. I ferociously need to go poop. I'm looking at the stretch of road. Whereabouts were you along there when you thought you might need to go? Well, I needed to go pee in Auckland. Tito, I'd say like five minutes on, I needed to have turned around.

Why did you turn around? I needed to do it. I passed the marae and I was like, again, I'm Māori. I could knock on the door and be like, Kia ora. Ngā pui. Ngā pui. Right now. But I didn't And then the need to poo

Got so bad That it just started coming out Oh my god You're a grown woman It's not like you're a kid that's embarrassed To ask to go to the toilet Or so you could stop on the side of the road And take a shit

I'm a broadcasting professional. Imagine people going past and being like that's Hayley Sproul. I would have no problem. That's Hayley Sproul. She's taking a shit on the side of the road. Doing a toilet on the side of the road. I've done it before I'll do it again. I was doing that thing and I will say I broke the law. I picked up my phone and I started googling toilets toilets, toilets near me, toilets

near me, petrol stations near me. Nothing, nothing not. It was all Tito, Tito. And I was like I've already been a past. It was so, it was moving. It was likeito, and I was like, I've already been, I've passed. It was so, it was moving, it was like, you know when you watch those videos of women giving birth and they're like it's coming, it's coming, and there's no, you can't stop it, that was what was happening to me. Okay, how far dilated were you? 10 centimetres, baby.

Contractions? 10 centimetres. That's quite a large dilation. That's not 10 centimetres, keep going. Think of a baby's head. That's a giant dilation. Yeah, it was a giant dilation. Anyway, I was audibly saying, oh, no, oh, no. You're lucky after two coffees it had any sort of consistency. Anyway, I was literally like screaming out to the Lord.

Viscosity would describe something's liquidness. Structure. Structure. Any sort of structure. There was structure. I could feel the structure. Iructure. Any sort of structure. There was structure. I could feel the structure. I could feel it moving through me. Oh, God.

And I was literally saying out loud, like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no. I've never shat. Oh, my God. It's going to happen. I'm going to shit myself. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe this is happening. What do I do? No, no. Body, don't fail me now.

I know. And literally, I was like, mm, and the body was like, no, no, no, no, no. Buddy, don't fail me now. And literally I was like, and Buddy was like, no, no, no, no, no. And then you get that shirting pain. Yeah. You're like, so then I was like,

I don't want to shit in my pants. I don't know how I'm going to do that. So I looked over at the designer bag with the dress in it. And in my head, I said, Hayley, you're going to have to take the dress

out of that bag. You're going to have to pull your pants down while driving and you're going to have to shit in this bag. See, I'm a man's in that tribe. There's lots of woods going to have to pull your pants down while driving and you're going to have to shit in this bag. See, I'm a man's in that tribe. There's lots of woods. I want to pull over and...

It's all forestry. Gone 15 metres into the woods. It's windy like this. There are not parts to pull over on there. I would have had to have just stopped my car in the middle of the Thermal Explorer Highway and taken a shit in a bag and been like,

just move along. It's me, Hayley from radio. There's got to be driveways to pull into. I had accepted my fate. I literally tipped out the dress, the $400 dress. Straddled the bag. And I got the bag

and then this cafe pulled up on the right and I thought, oh my God, thank the Lord. I pulled in, went inside and they said, do not use these toilets if you're not going to buy anything. And I was like,

I'll buy the whole cafe. I'm going in and and i was like what doesn't need to be reheated or out or put in a bag and there was an ice cream thing so i was like fine and i got a maritz or something or a whatever and i got it and i was in a line of four people and i i she's all i'm she's crowning and i went to the guy and I said, thank you, just the ice block. And he said, great. And then as I went in, I saw a family. I don't want to pick a party story. Ice cream.

I went in and there was a family of four who went into the one bathroom. So I had to wait for four people to go to the toilet before I could get in there. So I'm literally standing there like, like twisting and contorting my body to try to make my sphincter tighter. Then I finally get into the bathroom and I tell you what,

I birthed a child in there and I apologise to that bathroom. I had to do four flushes and there was someone waiting for me outside. Don't you apologise for the beautiful thing that is giving birth. Thank you. The cherry on top, I know we're like, the cherry on top was I got in the car so relieved and I was like, and I got an ice cream. Fantastic. Ate the ice cream, right?

And you know those chocolate ice creams, all the chocolates going everywhere. I got up and I got out of the car and I checked into the hotel and I went to the hotel room and I looked at myself and I had sat all over the chocolate. So it looked like I'd shat myself anyway.

You need to take a good look at yourself. I nearly shat in a New Zealand designer shopping bag. Somebody did, I did message in, I just don't think it's the time, but I will pass on their message. They said the Tito public toilets are lovely. Yeah, well, I panicked and I didn't stop.

And apparently someone else messaged in, there's an app that tells you where all the toilets are. So you think when I'm in a 3G zone with a half a turd coming out, that I'm going to download an app? Play Zed-E. Zed-E. Fletch for the daily.

Play Zed-E. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. What was that? I don't know what you'd call that. It was I started and usually I progressively increased the pitch. You started so low. I've been huffing that. Progressively. Throat spray.

Sudafed. Huffing something. Stop it. Today's fact of the day. It's blood week. Is it? Well, no, no. It's just blood week here at fact of the day. Oh, okay.

I don't know if it's... I mean, any week's a good week to give blood if you're eligible, if you don't have mad cows. They've been hounding me, but I got a tattoo recently, so I can't. You got... A couple of other injunctions. You got mad cows too, didn't you? Yeah, and I got mad cows.

You got mad cows. And sleeping with all those gay dudes. And if there's anyone I want to sleep with, it's gay men. Yeah. So... Oh, shush. Aaron doesn't know. Shush. Nobody tell't know. Shush.

Nobody tell him. Nobody tell him. My hobby is sleeping with homosexuals on weekends. Weird hobby. I bet they're stoked about it. Yeah, they love it. Weird hobby. The today's fact of the day is that blood has approximately the same protein amounts

as a protein shake. Bruh. Bruh. As a dosed followed protein shake. Bruh. Bruh. As a dosed followed protein shake. Bruh. Bruh. Bruh. Does it have all the stuff in it as well,

like some green tea extract? Yeah, dude. Yeah, it's got aluminum, globulin. Is it strawberry natural flavouring? There's no strawberry in it. That is the one thing that blood will still taste like blood. Ew. Metal.

Yeah. Metallic. Yeah. But I didn't know that the protein level of blood is the same as like a protein shake. Like it's one of the highest protein carriers. Like when we eat meat, obviously there's a lot of protein, but is that because there's still a lot of blood in meat?

Or that it's not? It's cooked out. No, it's not cooked out. Is that why vampires are so jacked? Yeah, yeah. That's why vampires are jacked. They're just doing nothing. They're doing full protein. Their farts must smell. Oh my God, so jacked? Yeah, yeah. That's why vampires are jacked. They're just doing nothing. They're doing full protein.

Their farts must smell. Oh, my God. So keto. So, so keto. But then sometimes you meet a real skinny vampire and all, you know, they're just trying to put on the weight and gain, but they just can't. I know, because they need some carbohydrates, but they're just getting protes, bruh. Yeah.

Okay. You're going to get turned into a vampire. Okay. That's hot for me. Okay. I think I'd look hot. Yeah, because you want to live forever, right? Yeah.

Yeah, it's you. Yeah, and I do not want to die. Don't. She doesn't want to die. Wait, do you age? No. No. As long as you can get a really supply of blood.

Oh, damn it. Can we do it 10 years ago? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. You always wanted to be a vampire, and then you finally get your chance, but you're in your, like, 70s, and you're like, now I'm not going to be stuck in my hottest. Yeah. I mean, some people look great at 70, don't get me wrong, but you're in your like 70s and you're like, now I'm not going to be stuck in my hottest. Yeah. I mean,

some people look great at 70, don't get me wrong, but if you look great at 70, you probably look smashing at 35. Yeah, yeah. So it was 26 your year. I was, oh.

Okay. So 26 is your year that you're getting vampired? You're now. You're looking good now. Oh, thanks. Yeah, vampire now.

Quickly, vampire now. Is that one of my 16 compliments for the month? Yeah, that you're the hottest you've ever been. If you were going to get turned into a vampire, now would be the time to do it. That's your compliment,

because you're looking good. I've got a bit of a bad back, though. No, that'll come right, because you're a vampire. You're a vampire. The back isn't going to get you. I don't think they get backs. Wait, it will unslip my spine.

Yeah, yeah, it'll re-sponge up the disc. As long as you keep your intake of human blood up. Okay. You're happy with that, are you? Just no questions asked. He's just going to drain humans of blood. Sounds great. You're happy with that, aren't you? Just no questions asked. He's just going to drain humans of blood. Sounds great. When are you going to vampire?

I would have vampired at 36, I reckon. Was that... That was when I was in my best shape. Marathons. You were running marathons. No, no, it was after that. Oh, was it? It was after that.

Okay. There was a time when I was doing a lot of running and I got a little bit of a lollipop head. Yeah. I've got a big head. I've got a big head. When you've got a 64 centimetre circumference head. You can't get too skinny.

You can't get too skinny, too lanky, because you look very heavy in the head. You look like a Funko Pop. Yeah. Bubble head. Everyone's like, Ozempuk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What was before Ozempuk? It was the original Ozempuk. Yeah. It's running too much. It's running heaps. Running way too much. But yeah A 36 for me

So that's a fun game Fun game you guys can all play at home today If you were going to get turned into a vampire What age would you have chosen To get turned into the vampire So today's fact of the day And the first fact for Blood Week Is that blood has about the same protein per mil

As a standard protein shake Fact of the day Day Day Day Day a standard protein shake. Fact of the day, day, Drive, YouTube, they are doing a mass purge. And it's one week to go until this all happens. And apparently they have been warning and warning and warning

and people are still not taking action. So if you have a Gmail account. I honestly thought this was phishing, like a fake. Totally. Oh, yeah. I saw an email and it was like, oh, you haven't used, because I think I haven't used the Google version of Dropbox for ages. Yeah, that's my only.

That's Drive. I don't use Dropbox. That's Drive. I use Drive. Yeah, yeah. I don't even use it for ages. And I think it said like these files and I was just like, this is a trick. I'm going to click on to see these files

and I'm going to have to log in and then they got me. That's the problem now. We're aware of all of these tricks and so even legit emails we ignore.

I know. We've got them from work being like, can you click this link? And we're like, okay, okay. It's a trap. It's actually,

can you click this link? It's like teaching your kids Stranger Danger. Yeah. And then they're just like, no, I'm not going with that man who claims to be my grandfather because it could just be Tom Cruise in that costume from Mission Impossible.

It is your father's father. Yeah, which is a perfect printout of somebody else's face. That's why I don't even let my own parents pick me up from the airport anymore because of Mission Impossible. Because of Tom Cruise. Because of Tom Cruise. Could be a printed out moment. I always tug on my mum's face quite aggressively

before I let her take me anywhere. Which your mum would really love. Yeah, yeah, huge fan. God, it's stretchier than last time. I'm just ageing. If you've got an inactive Gmail, like Google Photos or Google Drive account from next week. Wait, what do they class as inactive?

Like you haven't logged on in a month? No use for two years. Oh, right. Which is You've got to get your Roxy Morrinsville babe 69 At Gmail Sort it out then

I do actually You have to log back into Roxy Morrinsville babe Because otherwise You'll lose all your emails And some other Roxy Morrinsville babe Will snap it up

Yeah Miss underscore Brew underscore V baby Yeah She Won't be able to find them again So yeah

If you haven't used it And they're saying like Just click ASL. ASL? 34 female- Just the F will be fine, thanks. 34 F Auckland. Hot.

34 in quotation. Hot. ASL? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? This is weird. I just thought it was a fun little internet throwback. Mine was always ASL. Kids aren't asking other kids ASL? Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? I just thought it was a fun little internet throwback. Mine was always ASL.

Kids aren't asking other kids ASL anymore. 19 female Wellington. 19. 19 as if. Sorry, Mum. So they're saying as well, like, this could affect, like, lots of parents who have set up, like, shared photo albums. Oh, yeah.

And for a couple of years they haven't gone and looked at these photo albums, but they're just, like, sitting there. They're going to get deleted. Because when we named our kids, I got And for a couple of years, they haven't gone and looked at these photo albums, but they're just like sitting there. They're going to get deleted. Because when we named our kids, I got them Gmail accounts with their names, so they will always have like their names, so they won't need to be like Roxy Babe. Did you?

Roxy Babe. And they would never have used them? No, actually they have used them because I've used them to log on to like... Roblox. Yeah, Roblox. Yeah. So in order to keep your account active

and avoid being deleted, they're saying open or send an email, use Google Drive, download an app on the Google Play Store or make a Google search while logged into that account. If you have posted a video to YouTube from this account,

that doesn't matter. You won't be removed. But you've got to go. So if you've got a little gmail account sitting there that you've used for like something else like I think I had one

like Hayley Sproul comedy or something for like when I thought I was going to be like booked booked up the wazoo yeah how are the bookings going well I'm here aren't I

here on a salary yes and it's cush live in the drain live in La Vida Loco shivers guys 10 out of 10 podcasts that one yeah on a salary. Yes. And it's Kush. Live in the drain. Live in La Vida Loco. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast.

That one? Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't.

Don't bother. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.