ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 28th February 2024

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Fast Food Surge Pricing!?  Massage Gun Warning  Wardrobe Malfunctions  Fletch's "World Changing" Air Fryer Hack  What secret are you keeping from your partner?  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley minus Vaughan. Who is, normally gets his yearly man flow around July. Yeah.

May, June, July. He's got it earlier this year. Throat tickle. Yeah. I think I've... A burning throat. I'm bringing enough masculine energy. I think I've put on Aaron's deodorant this year. Throat tickle. Yeah. I think I've... A burning throat. I'm bringing enough masculine energy. I think I've put on Aaron's deodorant this morning.

Ooh. Lynx Africa? Yeah, the one and only. Okay, I just love that he can't move past Lynx Africa. It's his scent. He's a grown man. Normally people get out of it in their 20s? Nah.

No? Okay. 42. It's still going. We're down a vaughan. We're down a vaughan. We're down a vaughan. Yeah, so apparently really burny throat and had a bad sleep. So, I mean, I'm saying test for COVID because he hasn't had it for like a year. Nah, I've only had it once.

You've had it three times. Like over 18 months ago, mine was. You're due. I am due, but we're going to a concert tomorrow, so... You'll get it there. I'll get it there, I reckon. You'll due. I am due, but we're going to a concert tomorrow. So... You'll get it there. I'll get it there, I reckon. Let me just look ahead of the week. Is now a good time?

La la la la la. If I get it this weekend, I'll be alright, because then I'll miss that client schmoozing event. Oh, sorry. And then I'll be alright by pink next Saturday. Oh, sorry. And then I'll be all right by pink next Saturday. Oh, yeah.

And if you don't get it by then, you'll get it at pink. Then I'll get it at pink. And then looking at the following week after pink, we're going to Disturbed. So you'll get it there. And if I don't get it at pink, I'll get it at Disturbed looking at the following week. Lots of super spreader events coming up for you

to try and dodge the COVID. Speaking of concerts, an economist has worked out that if Taylor Swift had come to New Zealand, it would have boosted the economy by $70 million. Yeah, we needed that. Would have been nice. Would have been nice. So the top six, in Vaughan's absence,

you're going to take the top six. I'm going to do the top six artists that should tour to New Zealand to help the economy. It should be nice. It would be nice. A bit of a wish list, I reckon. You said Pink's coming soon. Will she boost it by much?

Not as much as Taylor, right? She's doing Eden Park. She's doing a few shows, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it'll be a little boost. Not quite as much as Tay-Tay. We'll get into that soon with the top six. But next on the show. If you haven't watched One Day

on Netflix, it's a great show. It's so great. But as is the way of these popular Netflix series, the destinations are getting bombarded. We just got reamed for taking two tissues from our tissue box. These are extra thick ply tissues. They're also not square.

They're long. I know. They're very long. They're long and thick. You only need one. I took two. And there's only 95 in the box. So when you take two, you're just robbing us tomorrow when we've got a snotty nose.

Just saying. Just saying. Okay. Well, I apologise. You have been told off. I only blew it on one of them and I've kept the other one for later. Good. So I won't touch it. God, learnt my lesson.

Now I finished, I watched Binged all of one day which is the Netflix series. It spans like two decades. It's good. Based on a great book. They did a movie, it didn't go so well because how do you do 20 years in a movie? Yeah.

And it's like that you find this friendship on the same day each year. I hadn't read the book like, because the book came out like 13 years ago. I'd read it like 10 years ago. Yeah. I'd watch the movie. And then after the TV show, because the TV show is really well done. So good. There's like a heap of like online websites that have like what's different to the book. Oh, okay.

Interesting. Because there's, the thing I like about the TV show is I don't really know any of the actors. And then they have amazing performances. There's a couple of familiar faces, but you're like, oh my God, great performances. And so the Netflix show was filmed in Rome, London, Edinburgh, Paris, and Greece. Yes. And the episode in Greece was they were on holiday and they met at this little fishing village called Paros, P-A-R-O-S.

And apparently Airbnb has seen a 32% increase in vacations booked to this little village alone. And it's a tiny village. Tiny little village. And it's classic, like blue doors, white buildings. All the houses look the same. It's absolutely stunning. But it's not like a super, super hot Greek island or anything like that.

It's not like a super destination like Mykonos or something. No, no, exactly. But apparently it's just tourists are already bombarding it. Because we talked about the salt burn house. Yeah. People just are so obsessed with finding these filming locations. But is there anything to do with this Greek fishing village? Do you just go fishing or something?

Or are there beaches? It doesn't look super beachy. In the TV show, the movie, and the book, they go skinny dipping. Yes. But do you know in the TV show, and this is one of the things I'd forgotten about, he gets his clothes stolen while he's still in the water. Classic. Classic.

That doesn't happen in this version. And they left it out. I'm looking at things to do in Paros, Greece. It's surrounded by sea for sure. Okay, so beaches. So you can swim, you can beach, you can fish. You can go on boats. It does look really nice.

You know, visit some old churches. More importantly, you can just have that Instagram photo to say you've been there. Yeah, be like, one day. I mean, it just looks beachy and nice and Greek. I mean, I wouldn't say no. I wouldn't say no. Have you done the Greek islands?

Mykonos. I've been to Mykonos. Vaughan and I went to Mykonos with a friend years ago. I've only been to one, Kastelorizo, which is like a day trip from Turkey. It's all beautiful, isn't it? I know. So incredible.

Next on the show, Americans are losing it at a tiny detail that they've spotted in the Taylor Swift concert photos and videos from Sydney and Melbourne.

I want to chat about this next because I feel Americans just aren't getting it. They don't know what we're up to down here. Nah, they don't get us down under. We're different down under.

Kat Burns, go. ZM. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Americans are absolutely losing it at the footage that has come out from Taylor Swift's Eros Tour Down Under. Yes. The photos and videos from both Melbourne and Sydney, these signs were at both of the stadiums and you see them everywhere.

Report antisocial behaviour. And then there's a number that you can call or text in the stadium if you see a feral Australian getting up to no good. Getting up to no good. What do they call it? Antisocial behaviour? Yeah. It's such a weird way of describing it. I'm pretty sure I've seen some of these messages from time to time

at stadiums in New Zealand as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like at a concert or something, you know, if you want to report anything to security, text this number. You know how we get. You know how we get. We get a bit drunk. You go to any concert in New Zealand or Australia, there's

always a few people getting absolutely tousled. But then, so people are sharing these photos and videos on Twitter saying, and online saying, is Australia a police state? Like, oh my God, that's scary as hell. I've never seen anything more terrifying.

That's not a meme. We just drink too much. Especially Australia. They're a bit more bogan than us. Yeah, I mean, I've literally been at a concert in Australia and someone behind me started urinating. Where?

Just down? Down. Like it was terrorist seating. I know. It was Brisbane. Feral. What did you say? Did you say anything?

We just moved. Like there were enough seats that we could just move. It was so gross. Oh my God. Yeah, but not at Taylor Swift because it's totally sold out. You just have to sit in someone else's urine. Carl Wayne, who went to all of the, she took all the Taylor Swift concert tickets from other fans.

Yeah, I know. She went to quite a few shows. I did. Did you see these signs? Yeah, and I actually had this thought. I was like, this is so funny

because I feel like, yeah, maybe sometimes at a New Zealand gig it'll flash up on the screen before the show, but you don't have it there the whole night. It was there the whole night,

like, ruining the aesthetic of a Taylor Swift concert. But what I also thought was funny is I've never got an alcoholic privilege at a gig quicker than I did at the Taylor Swift concert. Really? It doesn't feel like a super boozy crowd. No, people were definitely getting a couple of drinks. I think I had two on the first night and one in the second.

Was it preloading? Probably not because everyone was probably getting there super early. Everyone was getting there quite early and also I just think people were worried about probably falling asleep because personally if I don't have the right amount I'll fall asleep. It's a three hour gig. Sabrina was half an hour so you're there from like four till like

midnight. Yeah it's a long Did you see any anti-social behaviour? Any boozed people? I didn't see it but I do see that there were reports that someone threw up on themselves because they had a little bit too much fun. My friend had to, like, help this person. Oh, that's so bad.

Like, carry them over their shoulder, and they had to clear the row of seats for a bit so that they could clean it all up. I don't know what it is. In America, when I've been in America, they just stop drinking at a certain point, whereas here, we just don't. We don't.

We don't and we just keep going and then we get a little bit too carried away and then we need these signs at the stadium. Me at any concert I'm always like the lines are too long

I can't be bothered so I'll get like what's the maximum I can get for one person? Four. I have four are you getting four? We'll get four.

It was like me and Jared when we went to Papa Roach. That sentence. Me and Jared when we went to Papa Roach. Well, I'm just setting the tone for disturbed in a couple of weeks. He's my middle buddy. That's why some crowds, like the limit won't even be four. It'll be two.

They see the crowd coming, eh? You stand there with your cup holder like, this is all for me. And you're in like a mosh pit with cup holder, be like, I'm not lining up again. Yeah. But then you drink them too fast and then you're back at the bar. This is why we need the signs at the stadiums down under. Americans just don't understand how we get.

How we do. We just do different. You don't know how we do. Next on the show, you'll be familiar with surge pricing on Uber. Always. Horrible. Hate it. Sometimes you just walk up the road and on Uber. Always. Horrible. Hate it. I know.

Sometimes you just walk up the road and get rid of it. Yeah, I do that. I literally walk for like half an hour. I'm not paying four times and then walk 15 down the road. Absolutely not. Well, in America, now I want to say this again, in America, this is not New Zealand, a large burger chain. I would say I wouldn't say one of the two or

three largest. I'd say it's up there. Do we get it here? I'd say, yeah, we've got a few, but not many. Oh, yeah, we do, too. This particular burger chain has said that it is investing millions and millions of dollars in digital menus, which a lot

of fast food places already have, right? Because then when it goes from breakfast to lunch or day menu, it flicks over automatically. We love it. This burger place in America is installing all these digital screens and they are going to start experimenting with surge-like pricing, like Uber and Lyft do. So when you're finishing work or it's lunchtime

and you've got your mindset on that delicious whatever it is. That sucks. You're in the drive-thru. The prices could just be different than they are at like 2 o'clock. They should, do you know what? They should, like, they'll obviously do like surge for dinner, surge for lunch, right? Yeah.

And then they'll settle down for your 2 o'clock to 4 o'clock. They should do like 1 a.m. Because if you're in town and you are sloshed from the pub and you're going home and you pass this place, you'll pay whatever. Well, you're probably too drunk. I don't know if you heard the previous break. We do things differently down under here.

We do different things. We don't know where to stop. We don't know where to stop and We don't know where to stop. And we start spending money. And when you want a burger in that state, you're getting a burger no matter what. Exactly. You'll pay whatever. Yeah.

Oh, God, I've woken up sometimes and you see, like, you've had a meal on the way home. You're like, I spent $50. How much did I get? But this is naughty. It's so naughty. I know. I hate the surge pricing thing. But then, like, they've got you.

That's why it's surge pricing, right? Like, it's after a concert. You need the Uber or you go to the airport. You don't have half an hour to wait. No. Normally. And so you get it and you just pay for it. Yeah.

So is it going to be the same with food? You're so hungry or you've got your mind set on that particular fast food. You're like, well, I'm here. I'm here. I guess I'm paying a dollar extra. I'll pay a dollar extra. I'll pay surge pricing. Good idea from producer Jared here.

If they're going to do surge pricing, they should do a happy hour equivalent. Oh, yeah, okay. You know, like a lot of places do rock, like bars and stuff do like a two to four because like not many people are there. Yeah. Well, a lot of places have the app as well,

have apps as well. You can get the deals. Get the deals. But it's just cheeky. I'm just flagging this right now as cheeky. Cheeky behaviour. Do you think this cheeky behaviour could spread? If they get away with it.

If they get away with it. I feel like Kiwis wouldn't. Oh, no. We love our food, don't we? I honestly don't think America doesn't know we exist. And I think the longer we keep it that way, the better. For multiple reasons. Play. Set him, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Now, Vaughan's away with a very severe throat tickle. Oh, violent throat tickle. Violent. Honestly, should we take some thoughts and prayers? Yeah, violent throat tickle. Violent. Honestly,

should we take some thoughts and prayers? Yeah, I think we're at that stage. Yeah, thoughts and prayers, We're open to thoughts and prayers sent Vaughan's way as he struggles

through this difficult time. We're also sending love to Sade as she has to deal with this. Oh, she has to deal with that. Yeah. She'll be home today and be like,

oh, you're here. Great. You're still here. Still here. Yeah. Anyway're still here. Still here. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm doing the top six today, and there are economists are saying that had Taylor Swift been able to come to New Zealand, now, the reason she didn't is because the stadiums are too small.

Yeah. We couldn't take it. But had she been able to come, it would have generated around about $70 million New Zealand dollars for New Zealand's economy. And there are estimates for Australia. And knowing our very own Carl Ween went over, but knowing other friends that have gone, people have spent a lot of money. So on average, because they were asking people as they were going,

like, are you going to tell a SWIFT? Leaving New Zealand. Yeah, as they were leaving New Zealand, how much have you spent on this whole trip? On average, it was about $1,500. Including? Tickets, outfits, accommodation. So much.

And they reckon in Australia alone, Australia's economy has, to the tune of a billion dollars? Yeah. Better off? Is better off? Yeah. That's insane.

But you've got to think, 300 people, 300,000 people went to Melbourne alone. Yeah. Not even including Sydney. 300,000 people buying the tickets,

eating food. Yeah. Shopping. Like shopping while they're there, accommodation, everything. And they reckon that in New Zealand

it would have been about 70 million. 70 mil just for a show. That would have been good. Anyway, she didn't come. So I've got some suggestions for some other artists that should tour New Zealand to boost the economy. Okay. At number six, The Wiggles, but only doing R18 stadium shows. And we can...

Think about it. Yeah, we've been to an R18 show. Best night of our lives show best night of our lives best night of our lives top five concerts but let's go like bigger stadium

more people Eden Park you're talking thousands and thousands of adults living their nostalgia the cake tin the cake tin

yep we're going to dinner we're drinking too much we're pouring money into that concert yeah that was a big night. And I have no regrets.

And I'd spend all that money again. Number five on the top six artists that should tour New Zealand to boost our economy, the Spice Girls. But only if Victoria gets off her lazy tush and joins them. Because they've been doing some talk about coming back. But Vicky's always like, I don't want people to know that I can't actually sing. That's a real reason, isn't it?

I know. Also, would you leave your mansion if David Beckham was in his undies all day? Yeah, cooking me a steak. Yeah. Nope. Nope. Nope, I wouldn't leave. But if the Spice Girls did come to New Zealand and it was all five of them,

I would spend too much money. Would you spend if it was just four of them? Yes, I would of them, I would spend too much money. Would you spend if it was just four of them? Yes, I would go, but I would spend less. Okay. I wouldn't get, but you're thinking about,

look at the outfits. Like, we're all getting dressed up as the Spice Girls. It's the same vibe. Yeah. It would give the economy a good boost. Number four

on the top six artists that should tour New Zealand to boost the economy. They said Taylor Swift was like Beatlemania. Let's just get the Beatles. Little problem there. What's the problem? What have you got against the Let's just get the Beatles. Little problem there. What's the problem?

What have you got against the Beatles? One of the greatest bands of all time. We might have to dig a couple of them up. Oh, yeah. How many are dead? Yeah, we can't do it without John. Is George dead? Is George dead? Ringo's alive.

Paul's alive. He's the train, eh? Ringo's the train. Thomas, the tank engine. He's Thomas the tank engine, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. George is dead. Hang on.

Is George Harrison dead? George Harrison. This is terrible. We should know this. We should know this. Was. Was an English musician. Was.

You can always see it from Wikipedia as soon as they say was. George Harrison's dead. So that's quite a big hole in your plan. So we're just getting Ringo and Paul. Okay, okay. We'll skip that one maybe. Number three on the top six artists that should tour New Zealand to boost our economy.

Let's just make Coachella here. Think about how much money people spend on Coachella. Oh my God. A lot of money. We're just like, hey guys, Coachella announcement. Drop announcement. Everyone's like, oh my God. And you're like, I don't know why it's in New Zealand.

It's in New Zealand. You've got to get yourself to New Zealand. Go Media Stadium. Yeah. And they're like, oh my God! And you're like, mother, why isn't it New Zealand? It's New Zealand. You've got to get yourself to New Zealand. Go media stadium. Yeah. And they're like, oh my God, where even is that? And you're like, it's honestly as far away as possible. Onihanga. So you know Antarctica.

So just up from there. Yeah. That's where Coachella is this year. Yeah. Number two on the top six items that should turn New Zealand to boost the economy. Nickelback with opening act, Creed. Do you know what? I New Zealand to boost the economy. Nickelback with opening act Creed. Do you know what? I'd probably go for the laughs. This is

why I think people would spend money on Nickelback and Creed. It's ironic. Yep. It's like the laugh factor. Yep. And we'll do anything for a laugh and a gag. Yep. Hey, do you want to come to this awesome event? I can't, man. I'm off to Nickelback this weekend. And Creed. And

Creed. And Creed. With opening act Creed. Yep. And number one on the top six artists that should tour New Zealand to boost our economy because Taylor Swift didn't. Here, Hayley Sprouse got a new Comedy Fest show. Surely that's going to bring in some money into the economy. Did she just plug her own upcoming show? Is there a show coming up

for Wild Flutters and is that in May in the Comedy Festival? I don't know. Unofficial announcement. You can't even buy tickets yet and you're already plugging your show. Well, you can buy tickets. I think the economy is going to get a little boost. It feels like an abuse of power, to be honest. Stay tuned for that formal announcement. That is today's top six.

Okay, here is my word of warning if you have a massage gun. Do you know the first this is my memory the first time I ever socialized with you Fletch. I came over to your house and some gaggle members were there pre-gaggle. Yes. And I massaged um big-hearted James's foot with your massage gun. That was my first introduction to you you and our social life. Because I just leave my massage gun it's just on the couch or the table because I use it all the time. I don't, we had one and it broke and then I never really replaced it and

then I got one from Timo and it's like it's just so lame and so bad. Yeah but what did you expect? I expected high quality goods. And it didn't happen? Yeah and for $8 I expected it to sort out all my Yes. And it didn't happen? Yeah. Interesting. And for $8, I expected it to sort out all my knots and kinks. Yeah, to still be going.

Yeah. But it's amazing because you leave it out. And if people haven't used one, they're just immediately like, oh, I need to play with that. Yeah, they're really good. They're so good. But don't use them on your neck. That is the word. That is the word from doctors. I've used mine on my neck. That is the word. That is the word from doctors.

I've used mine on my neck. Like my shoulder, my shoulder neck. This is what's happening. So there's a bit of a debate. Spark from TikTok and now it's all over the webs. The dub, dub, dub. There was a woman, she was 27 years old. She is 27.

She didn't die. I'm saying it like she died. She didn't die. She's alive. She's 27 years old. She woke up with like a kink in her neck, as you do often. Wait till she gets to her 30s,

that's all I want to say. And so she got out her trusty massage gun and it was like the top. You know when you get that kink, just the top of the neck, base of the skull. Yep. And she used it every 30 minutes

between 8am and 5pm. Like she is hooning this massage gun doing this and she said as soon as she would stop it would feel better and then the pain would come back and she'd get back on the gun then eventually she finds this lump on her

neck and she's like I've made it so much worse there's this lump and she can like move it around goes to the doctor and the doctor's like they think that she's developed swollen lymph nodes from just like constantly smack smack There's this lump and she can like move it around. Goes to the doctor and the doctor's like, they think that she's developed swollen lymph nodes from just like constantly smack, smack, smacking it. And then warned her to like never do this. Also like doctors are chiming in and they're like, don't use percussive therapy.

That's what they're calling a massage gun. Massage guns. Okay. Because there's so many arteries in your neck. And if you were to keep hitting one and damage it, what they're calling a massage gun. Massage guns. Okay. Because there's so many arteries in your neck. And if you were to keep hitting one and damage it, you would lose blood flow to the brain. In theory, using a massage gun on the neck could temporarily starve the brain from blood flow,

causing a mini stroke or stroke-like symptoms. Then I went back onto the original three of this woman. Yeah. And there was a user who is called RuPaul Rudd, which is funny. That's a funny name. Anyway, they said, I had

a mystery stroke at 28 after constantly using my massage gun on my neck. Like a little stroke like because you're like restricting blood flow. You're basically hammering the artery, aren't you? Yeah. Other people.

So that would be, you'd be better to get a neck massage because then it's like more of a circular, like thumbs. Yeah, rather than like jackhammering it. So many people. Yes, my auntie had a stroke from using a massage gun on her neck. I gave myself vertigo for two weeks doing that. What? Yeah.

I've always used it on my neck. Well, don't. But is it just the side bits? Well, they just say anywhere on the neck. Your lymph nodes are like under there, aren't they? I know, but it's not like the thickest area. I don't think you're going to be smashing any part of it.

Okay. The neck is doing a lot. But also, you shouldn't be massage gunning every half an hour. You've got to give your body and your muscle time to heal. I'm not a physio. I think they're called physio therapists. I thought it was physio. I'm not a physio therapist,

but you've got to like give it a chance to, you know, heal. Otherwise you're just going to be inflaming and agitating it. Well, you've done this, haven't you? You OD'd on them. I was like thumbing my, I had, what's it? Golf elbow. Golf elbow. And I was like really getting my thumb in there like every like 20 minutes.

Massaging it. And the physio, the physio. Physio. Physio therapist was like, you've got to give it a chance to rest. Let it breathe. Let it breathe. Yeah. Well, there you go.

If you're going to massage yourself, hit the shoulders. Yep. Hit the thighs. But don't be hitting that knee. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Part of my favourite kind of like post Taylor Swift mania down under hangover is like my algorithms doing a lot of people sharing their outfits that they wore to Taylor Swift.

I love that people did all this effort to go. Now we know that producer Carwin who went, you had two different looks. Yeah, I did. Both cute. Thank you. And the nails involved. Thank you.

A lot of people putting in effort. Now there is one top that has come under fire because so many people wore this top. It's a cheap $40 top and so many people had a break on them. And you saw this top yeah I think so it was a top and a skirt kind of like set that people were wearing from a certain brand

was it Supre? No but similar Supre vibes yeah and everyone was wearing it like you'd turn and you'd see three girls it was a great outfit I hate when you see someone else wearing the same thing that you've got and they look way cooler in it.

Yeah. Does that not happen to you all the time? Aren't you like, there's another man in a green t-shirt. There's another man in a blue t-shirt. There's another man in a blue t-shirt. Oh, embarrassing. All the time.

All the time. That man's wearing t-shirt and shorts. That's what I'm wearing today. Yeah, it's horrible. He's got the same shoes as me, Birkenstocks. That's my shoe. I know, it's horrible. He's got the same shoes as me, Birkenstocks. That's my shoe. I know, it's horrible.

But you saw this top a lot. But yeah, lots of girlies were wearing this top and it looked gorgeous, but I did think to myself, gosh, it's not really attached by much, is it? Like it has one little piece of chain at the back that kind of clips it together. Jesus, that's so powerful. It looks like somebody's cut the bottom out of a silver shopping bag.

Yeah, it's almost like chain mail or something. It's like chain mail, but the back is backless and it just has a little link, like a chain mail. Somebody's cut the bottom out of a silver shopping bag. Yeah, it's almost like chain mail or something. It's like chain mail, but the back is backless and it just has a little link, like a little chain that does the back. No, you can't trust that if you're dancing and moving. You know what you can't do? You can't wear a bra. So when this thing pops, there's like a video of people on TikTok trying to like fix the back and they've got their hole in their boobs.

Now, you're at Taylor Swift. You don't have a backup outfit. No. There's a few people that have shared that like, my top, I wore the same top at Brock. I wore it at Brock, at Brock, at Brock, at Brock. And you can see them and they're like, in singlets? Like they've obviously said to a friend, oh are you wearing a singlet under that?

Can I wear it? And they're just in like a lame singlet now at like the most fashionable concert of all time. I will say at one of my concerts I did see a girl fixing this situation and she used, because we all had friendship bracelets, everyone was making those and handing them out, she pulled one apart and used the string from it

to keep it together. That's ingenious that's some like Girl Scouts training coming in Yeah it's pretty good, we're resourceful yeah yeah yeah Well I want to talk about wardrobe malfunctions because this is like a nightmare a nightmare situation

this is a worst nightmare for me at a wedding is pants splitting like imagine you're at a wedding in the middle of nowhere yeah because there's nothing

you can do about it you can't just like pop home no there's no Hellensteins down the road no you pop to a shop and get a fresh set of pants

that's what I want to know is not only when did you have a wardrobe malfunction, but when was it that you couldn't do anything about it? Like you're just out and about and you're like, well. You're at a concert. You're at a concert. You're at a wedding. You're like miles away from home or a shop. You're on

stage. You're on stage and it just happens. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800 DALESITAN. We'd love to hear from you this morning. You can text through 9696.

When did you have a wardrobe malfunction and you couldn't do anything about it? Like these poor Swifties with their buzzies out. No. No Harry Styles.

Harry? We weren't ready for you Harry to stop. We weren't ready for you. We were to stop. We weren't ready for you. We were organising. Quarter past seven. We're organising people to talk to. We are.

Also, our friend Mike is messaging us. Mike, we're at work. We're trying to work. We want to know when you've had a wardrobe malfunction. Mike, if you've had one, feel free to talk to us then about that. Now's not the time to talk about travel logistics. What time? We're picking you up.

You can get in a bloody Uber for all we care. Now, we want to know, when you've had a wardrobe malfunction and you couldn't do anything about it, because maybe you were at a Taylor Swift concert in a flimsy silver top that multiple people had brake on them. And, like, it's flimsy.

That is, like, you're risking... It's flimsy and there ain't no bra under there. You've got a pasty at best on those nips of yours. Yep. So we want to know when you were caught short with a wardrobe malfunction. Megan, what happened? Morena. Morena.

Hi. I was doing a dance competition when I was younger. I was by myself on the stage. I had to bend down to pick a prop off the floor, and my dress just started popping open from the neck all the way down to my waist. I couldn't do anything. I had to pick up the prop off the floor and keep dancing for another minute as if nothing

had happened while my dress was open at the back. That's so good. That's my composure. Did you reveal anything? No. I had my arms, like, down to my side, desperately holding on to dear life while the stress just swayed in the wind at the back

and my friends were just dying laughing backstage until the music finished. How did you exit the stage? Were you just, like, kind of arms to the side and walk off backwards? Like a crab, like a sideways shuffle. the side and walk off backwards? Yep. Like a crab. Like a sideways shuffle. So nobody could see. I love that.

I can just imagine that right now. That's so good. Megan, thanks for sharing. Mary, when did you have a wardrobe malfunction? Hi, guys. Hi. Vaughn's away today, so Hayley will get the bell. First time caller, long time listener. Yeah.

Welcome. There we go. Welcome, Mary. Welcome. So where were you when you had this malfunction? So I was in Christchurch Airport. It was 22 years ago, and I'm still not over this. Yeah.

I was seven months pregnant at the time and going to a work conference in Queenstown. And I was basically wearing a muumuu dress because it was January, really, really hot. And I was trying to be as comfortable as possible. And I had this blazer with me to try and, you know, zhuzh it up a bit, make me a little bit more professional looking. So I didn't look like I was wearing a muumuu. But I put it on while I was still sitting in the plane during the stopover in Christchurch. So I get off the plane, I'm walking through the airport to find the next departure lounge and somebody taps me on the shoulder and they tell me that my dress has been hitched up in the blazer. And I would walk through the entirety of the airport flashing my underwear to anybody in the air.

Well, look, that's not the worst part of the story. The worst part of the story was I was so big and pregnant, I no longer fit my own underwear. So I grabbed a pair of my husband's jockey. And then I was wearing men's underwear and insulating it to everybody. Oh, Mary. And your husband's gruts. Right, good on that person for tapping you, because I don't know if I could tap someone on the shoulder

and be like, hey, you've got your good dress. No, you must. Was it a woman? Yeah. Yeah, it was. And I've never been more grateful in my life. I just wish somebody on the plane as I walked off had done it.

At the other end of the airport. Oh, that's so good. Mary, thank you for sharing that traumatising experience. Eden, when were you caught with a wardrobe malfunction? Good morning, guys. How are we this morning? Great, thank you. We're better than Vaughn. He's got a throat tickle Good morning, guys. How are we this morning? Great, thank you. We're better than Vaughn.

He's got a throat tickle. Oh, no. Yeah. So I was Santa for the rest home, just Christmas just been, and I was, you know, doing my thing out in the lounge. Eden, are you,

I don't mean to gender you, are you female? I am a female, yep. Yeah, quite young. It was a centric Santa this year. Yeah, okay, a centric, yeah. Anywho. Also, they don't really know what's going on. No, a centric Santa this year. Yeah, okay, a centric. Anyhoo. Also, they don't really know what's going on.

They don't know. They loved it. I was a great Santa. Okay, so you're in a Santa suit? In a Santa suit, bent down to pick up a present from the ground, you know, out of the Santa sack. Yeah. Straight pants ripped straight up the behind. I only had a G-banger on.

Of course Santas work. ripped straight up the behind. I only had a G-banger on. They thought everything. Of course Santa's wearing... Santa has to go down the chimneys. He can't be wearing full undies. No, no, no. He's got to keep it light. He's got to keep it airy. Exactly. Hey, I was just doing my job.

Oh, no. Did the old folk get to see some cheeks? I think so. I had to walk with my stomach sticking forward and try and like Oh God, none of the old didn't really work

but hey, it was a good laugh. None of the old mates had an accident at all. I don't know, I was trying not to look. We just put presents on the lap real quick.

Do you know what I mean? And also, if they did, Merry Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you all. Thank you, Santa.

Nice to hear from you. That's so cool. Thank you, Eden. Some messages in. When you've had a wardrobe malfunction, you all. Thank you, Santa. Nice to hear from you. That's so cool. Thank you, Aidan. Some messages in. When you've had a wardrobe malfunction, you couldn't do anything about it. My brother-in-law was best man at our wedding and split his pants at the front during photos.

So before he had to stand up in front of 120 people and do his best man speech, my mate of honour fixed them with safety pins, but against his black tux, it just looked like he was wearing punk-inspired underwear. Yes. Good stuff. Good punky pants.

Good stuff. I was at the Harry Styles concert, went to the loo and the zipper on my pants broke. Nothing I could do about it. Went to first aid to see if they had pins and no. Spent four songs inside a port-a-loo. Concert I'll never forget for sure. I was an essential worker during COVID lockdown.

We thank you. My zip broke on my dress pants. Couldn't go home. Helen Stein's was down the road, but it was shut. Had to live with my junk just sitting out. Arrived to a wedding in Bali. I've had this. My shoe came apart.

It was not a beach wedding. I was barefoot for the rest of the day. Oh, yeah, it wasn't a beach a beach wedding. I was barefoot for the rest of the day. Oh yeah, it wasn't a beach wedding. Oh, okay. Barefoot for the rest of the day. The heat of the day had melted the glue in my shoe. At my garden wedding I had an expensive French made veil. Oh. Got stuck in some rose bushes.

When I was walking up to my husband to be, my sister was very delicately trying to release it from the rose bushes as she knew it cost a lot, but I didn't care. So I just pulled it and it shredded to pieces. But who cares when you're marrying the love of your life? Does a toddler projectile vomiting on you down your shirt and pants in town when you live 15 minutes away from home count? Yeah.

I had to wear a blanket as a dress. Like a tartan, an old school tartan. Yeah, they wrap it around. When I was shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond, a lady approached me on the shoulder and said, I'm just sitting. I said, I'm just sitting and you know that the sticker, oh no, I was just sitting there and you know that the sticker

of the size of your jeans is hanging off you. And I look down and there's a big long size 26 sticker that goes from your thigh to your ankle. Oh yeah, they always The big sticker. Yeah, yeah. I've been out all day shopping. God, this is

funny. Thank you for sharing vulnerable stories. Really vulnerable. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Now you may hear a slight rumble in the back. Now that's what's happening next. I don't know if we're late to the party

but apparently air fryers are all the rage. I always, because I've always wanted to get an air fryer and then I'm like, ah, do I really need one? They're so big. But they're so big and I've got such a small kitchen.

Yeah. But I always get like, I see reels and TikToks of air fryer recipes and I'm like, okay, that's pretty amazing. But this air fryer. It's funny. This air fryer hack,

quotation marks, was too funny not to try. So next on the This air fryer hack, quotation marks, was too funny not to try. So next on the show. We've got it in studio. We'll reveal. We're just warming it up. Do you warm them up? No, you don't warm them up. See, you don't have to have it on now. Do you not warm them up? No, you've got to get them hot.

Okay, everyone's shaking their head. I'll turn it off. Wow, she's never used an air fryer. I've used one before. I've got one. You've got one. I've got one? I've got one. I barely use it. See, this is why I didn't get one. Because it's so big. And I got the Kmart one.

Yeah. And it's so, they're so bushy. And it's in like the top cupboard. And I've got to remove my like crock pot and my like, you know, soda stream and stuff. Or all the other appliances you don't use. Can't be bothered. Yeah.

Anyway, speaking of things in your cupboard, Stanley cups. God, I enjoyed doing the secret slurp last week. It was great fun. Or the week before, whenever it was. Gave away a bunch of them, didn't we? Gave away a bunch of them. They're the hottest cup of the moment. And the one thing we learned is that they're very expensive.

What are they? Like $90 to $100 for a cup, basically, to drink your water out of. Well, we read this this morning and thought, oh my God, there is some people that are renting out their Stanley Quencher cups so that people can get selfies with them for social media. Now, what is wrong with that?

What is wrong with the world? Why don't you just go to a store? But then it looks like you're in a store, right? But then you go to a store? But then it looks like you're in a store, right? But then you're in a store and you'd be like, you're in a store. And it'll probably have stickers all over it and stuff. Yeah, true. So this was on Facebook Marketplace and there was a person renting it out at

$5 per snap. $5 to take a photo with the Stanley Quencher. And I think this sort of sparked a lot of people jumping on board and doing the same. Selfie with my Stanley cup. It's got photos.

It's pink. Oh, okay. It looks clean. Maybe you couldn't get the pink one. You could only get like, I don't know, a green one. I can meet at this mall during the day. Message me to book a time. I'm literally all booked up this afternoon

to Wednesday already. What? Yeah. I have a pink Stanley cup. Ridiculous. Available for hire for photo shoots. This is the world that we're living in now. I like, I don't need more reasons to not bring life into the world.

In the form of having a child of my own. But this is next level. But, you know, I guess if you just want the cred, the clout of a Stanley Cup, and you want it on your social media. And you don't want to spend a hundred bucks. It's a cosy living cry as well.

We're all looking for a bit of a side hustle at the moment. If you've got a Stanley Cup, I mean, that's on you for spending the money in the first place. But if you need to get some back, rent it out. Rent it out on Marketplace. But embarrassing if you get caught getting a selfie

with a rented cup. I know, because then you'd see friends and they'd be like, oh my God, where's your Stanley? Oh, I like, don't take it out too often

because it's so like, it's just, yeah, it's so pink. It's so pink and everyone wants to touch it. Yeah, I just like, it's just for me. Yeah. Right. Or pink. Yeah, it's so pink. It's so pink and everyone wants to touch it. Yeah, I just like... And hold it. It's just for me.

Yeah. Right. Or we just say I left it at the gym. Yeah, oh my God, how terrible. Oh my God, yeah. Play mature. It's that expensive. Next on the show,

we will reveal what somebody is using an air fryer for and why we have one in studio. Fletch has a cool air fryer hack. I don't know if I want to own this. That's what it says. Fletchch has a cool air fryer hack. I don't know if I want to own this. So it says, Fletch's world-changing air fryer hack. Next. Now, you may have seen this TikTok. It's had millions of views.

It's actually debated quite, it's kind of flared tensions in the UK and Britain because, you know, they're very big with their cuppa teas. They love a cuppa tea. They love a cuppa. And you know they're very specific about how it's made. You know the length of time you leave the tea bag in. Do you add sugar and milk before?

When's the milk going? All of this. All of this. And everyone has their way. Well a woman went on TikTok with a tutorial on how she makes her cup of tea and she opens her air fryer drawer and puts in a cup yeah puts in a tea bag cold water yeah and also adds the sugar there and then i'm not doing that and then she puts it in the air fryer for six minutes and that's also when she pulls out her air fryer, there's like bits of chips, like fries.

Yeah, ew. Also, okay, I'm going to do this. I've got that thing on. I've got it on 180. Yep. You'll just grab the air fryer from the kitchen. I've got the water and a cold water and a teabag in it. Yeah.

I'm not doing sugar. No, no. Sugar's later. Okay, who last used the air fryer? We've got bits of chips as well. It's pretty greasy in it. Yeah. I'm not doing sugar. No, sugar's later. Okay, who last used the air fryer? We've got bits of chips as well. It's pretty greasy in there. This is true to form. This is true to the TikTok. I can smell it. Okay, I'm putting the cup in.

It's hot. Alright, we'll just let that brew. Is this the most expensive way to make a cup of tea? This is stupid because how long does it take for a jug to boil? I mean, we should know that for the great key we get off. We did that. It was two minutes.

So now I'm going to have an untouchable cup. Does this woman not have a kettle? Is this why she's using the air? Is this genius? She doesn't need two appliances. She just has one. But I'm just curious as to whether or not she's arguing that it's a better cup of tea. Got a longer brew time.

Yeah. I mean, I think she was just doing it for the fame, really, and attention on TikTok. So we're waiting six minutes now, are we? This just seems like a long time to wait. I know, we've gone to all the effort. The air fryer's here, the cup of tea's in. We'll just pad, I guess, for six minutes. Pad for six. you got big plans

for the it's only Wednesday it's too early to ask that question yeah don't ask about the weekend now at least wait till late Thursday

to ask that question yeah it's a minute down I don't think we can keep doing this for six minutes five more yeah

we can come back how's your parents they good we can come back this for six minutes. Five more. Yeah. We can come back. How's your parents? They're good? We can come back, yeah. Your parents good? Yeah, they're good, yeah. Yeah, they had COVID, yeah. How are yours?

Yeah, mine are good. Good, good. Just selling it. They've sold a house. Yeah. Just getting ready to hand over the ownership. Yeah. Maybe we'll come back.

I think we should come back. I don't know if I've got six minutes of this in me. How's the weather? What do you think of the weather, Stone? I think today's going to be nicer. Yep. That's terrible. Still going, isn't it?

We've still only had two minutes in the air fryer. Okay, right. By now, a regular jug will be boiled. Yeah, see, we would have had the cup of tea by now, wouldn't we? At least it would have started. Let's leave this to brew, because I love a cup of tea by now, wouldn't we? At least it would have started. Let's leave this to brew because I love a cup of tea. I go through periods of having them.

You can be the taste tester. It's another minute down. We'll come back next. We'll come back and we'll see how the six minute air fryer cup of tea turns out. Speaking of five, this has been in for six minutes. Oh my god. It's literally sizzling, but that's the last little bits of... So this is a...

I've got to get a tea towel to get the cup out. Yeah, this is an unconventional way to make a cup of tea. Somebody's using an air fryer. And six minutes in the air fryer. Oh, the mug is so hot. The mug is boiling. There's a problem here. Turn the air fryer off.

Okay. I've got it. Turn the air fryer off. Okay. I've got it. I mean, it's brown. It takes two minutes to boil a jug. Don't. No, no, no, no. Don't sip that. That is boiling hot.

That's like. It's boiling hot. It's been in 180 degrees for the last. The mug's too hot. I can't even hold it. This is stupid. Don't use an air fryer to make a cup of tea. A lot of people texting and saying, remember, Americans.

I hurt my finger. Americans don't often have jugs. They'll make a cuppa in a microwave. This was a British woman, though, that was doing this on TikTok. In an air fryer. She don't. But if you don't have a kettle, but then you've got to wait for your cup to warm down,

so you're probably not going to be able to drink this tea for, like, what, 10 minutes? I think the tea's going to get colder than the mug. The mug's going to take longer to cool down to pick it up. I literally can't touch it. So Fletcher's world-changing air fryer hack, I'm going to call it a fail. It's not world-changing. I'm going to say it hasn't changed the world.

Settle on that, okay. I want to say thank you to our show sponsor. If you want a cup of tea... I know. Get into McCafe. Yeah, and I don't think they make these in the air fryer. I think they just make it the standard way. Yeah yeah easy.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Uh RuPaul's Drag Race Is there a new season Shannon is that what we're watching at the moment? Yeah season 16. Season 16 16. Yeah and that's just the American one then you've got all the different countries. You've got all stars

UK versus the world Canada versus Down Under are they doing another Down Under yes but big news RuPaul is not going to be hosting it

I heard this as well quite shocking I heard this shocking are we not saying shocking you dropped the G you dropped the G

shocking like shock with like a little N with an apostrophe comma at the top yeah okay not a comma shocking yeah so what's shocking is that you've been Like shock with like a little N with an apostrophe. Comma at the top. Yeah, okay. Not a comma. Shocking.

Yeah. So what's shocking is that you've been watching the new Drag Race. Yes, yes. Season 16. And one of the queens said they did a job that we didn't even know existed. Yes. Didn't even know it was a thing. So this queen's called Amanda Torrey Meeting. Amanda Torrey Meeting.

Great name. I love her. And I'm catching up, so I'm about an episode or two behind. But basically, Amanda shared that her day job is to be a ghost writer for OnlyFans. Now, what are you writing? So basically, on OnlyFans, people can have messages with these creators. So they post content, but you can also pay for messages. And quite a few of these big creators are influencers

and they go on trips and stuff. I know this ghostwriting term from books, right? If celebrities aren't writers, they get a ghostwriter. Yeah, totally, to basically do the work for them. Well, it's made its way to OnlyFans. So instead of influencers replying to you, you could be actually speaking to a drag queen. Or just anybody that's working on their laptop

anywhere in the world that isn't that OnlyFans creator. So Amanda said she worked for an agency. So it's not like she's friends with an influencer and they pay her to run her OnlyFans. This is her job. And she says most of the time she's talking to old, white, straight men. And they have no idea they're talking to a man. To a man.

Gay man. Let alone a gay man who dresses in drag. Yeah. And he says he'll just be like giving them the juice. Like he just writes. Hey, daddy. Yeah, just writes a list of stuff. And so these people are paying to have access to this creator, but it's not them.

Yeah. And I just had no idea. And none of the other queens had heard of this before as well. It became a big discussion about, like, how do I get into it? I could do this as a job. Yeah, same. I've got so much time in the afternoon. I could just be on a laptop just like, what are you wearing?

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's what I'm in my undies. Red gruts. I'm in red gruts. I've got my red gruts on. Yeah. Cute. Do you reckon this could scratch my itch for having an affair?

Yes. I could just be a writer for other people. A ghost writer. A ghost writer. An OnlyFans ghost writer. Yeah. How much do you earn, though, being a, it would be minimal, right? Yeah.

Amanda didn't share. I guess it bases on which creator you're speaking for. I guess if it's a huge creator, it'll be a cut of it. And if you're going through an agency, I'm sure there's another cut. But enough that it's her full day job. Oh my God, I just found an article, The Secret Lives of OnlyFans Ghostwriters, who say their job includes catfishing paying fans.

Who knew that was a job? Let me see. That's wild. I'm just going to scroll down to see if there's anything about how much they get paid. You'd be so pissed, though, if you were paying for a specific person. But what does it matter? Like, what does it matter? You're paying to have a flirty, horny exchange with this person whose content you are seeing.

What does it matter? You're sort of getting it. I mean, no one ever is who they are online. Do you not remember MSN chat rooms? Yahoo chat rooms. I wasn't who I said I was. I'll just say that much. Don't incriminate yourself.

This is a big old survey. It is from America, however, that revealed that a quarter of people are keeping a secret from their partner even after they move in together. Which makes it harder to keep secrets because you don't have your own spaces now.

But what kind of level of secret? Like a big like I've murdered someone secret or like I'm hiding some biscuits. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to think of the secrets I keep from Aaron. We've lived together for 12 years. 12 years and still not married.

We've been together for 13. Yeah, and still not married. Still not married. Engaged for five. Still not married. Not even wearing the ring. Have you lost it? No, nah.

Just got eczema and they took it off and I was like, what does it mean anyway? I hide food from Aaron for sure because the man schnacks. He's a big boy. He doesn't cook a lot, he schnacks. And if I had something delicious that I'm saving for a purpose or saving for a... I mean, he even eats raw pasta.

He does. The raviolis. He eats the raw Rana raviolis. He's a machine. Yeah, and I might have wanted the raviolis for dinner, but in my head, I wouldn't think to hide them because why would you eat them raw, Aaron? But he will.

He did. I hide food. That would be a secret, I guess. I definitely hide purchases. Where do you hide the food? Because the genius hack is emptying or when you finish with a pack of like mixed frozen veggies is like putting

the chocolate bars and the biscuits and the lollies in there. And because no one ever looks in there. We've got a baking drawer at the bottom drawer we've got pull out pantry and the bottom drawer is all baking stuff. He doesn't bake so I'll just hide it under like bags of flour and stuff. And then in the fridge probably like back of the veggie drawer. Right. And he won't find it So I'll just hide it under like bags of flour and stuff. And then in the fridge, probably like back of the veggie

drawer. Right. And he won't find it. I have purchases. I don't know if I've really got any like life secrets from Aaron. It's mostly online shopping and concert tickets. Mostly money I spend. Yeah. I'm keeping that a secret. And what do we call

those white lies? Is it even a lie? You know? white lies? Is it even a lie? You know? It is. Is it even a betrayal of his trust to spend our money? Well, we want to, I mean, it is admitting to us that you are keeping a secret from your partner, but we can keep it anonymous.

You can text in 9696 0800 dials at M. 25% of people are keeping a secret from their partner. What is the secret, big or small, that you're keeping from your partner? If you have murdered someone, can you not call? Because I don't want to be involved in that. I don't want to be... That makes you an accessory. Yeah, I don't want to be an accessory to murder. What about you have

a... Second family. A second family. Or, no, you had a kid with someone. Yes. And your partner doesn't know. Or you married someone and got divorced, but they don't know. Oh my God, yeah.

Like a juicy secret like that. Juicy secrets. Look, we'll take them all. If you're hiding biscuits or you're hiding a body, what secret are you keeping from your partner? Ask and you shall receive. Now, when we talk to you, lovely listeners, and we ask you for messages,

sometimes you'll text in, and our beautiful producers might jump on the phone and see if you want to chat to us in person. Nobody want to talk. We have so many juicy messages here. Pages and pages of confessions. Yeah. And, you know, we will keep them anonymous.

We'll keep them anonymous. We don't need to talk, but we do have so many to read out. A study out of America, 25% of people are keeping a secret from their partner that they live with. Here we go. I lost my partner's spare car key, and when he asked me about it, I lied that I hadn't seen it. And when he tried to find it, I spent half the day trying to help him find it. I will take that to my grave.

Do you know how expensive it is to get a new car key? It's like $200-$300 for the beep beeps. Anonymous question, is it a lie if you haven't told your partner your proper body count? You've lied about how many people you've slept with. Some people are weird about that, eh? Yeah.

Anonymous, please. I have a tracker in his car that he knows nothing about. What, like, if it's an air tag, though, it'll start beeping all the time. Yeah. What kind of tracker? Like, an installed proper one? I don't know.

I can't read that one. I've got a massive savings account under my mum's name that my partner doesn't know anything about. Do you remember that time we talked about do you have a secret account? Yeah do you have like an exit fee? Yeah that blew my mind the amount of people that have secret money from their partners. Hubby thinks I'm naturally beautiful it's Botox bro

Are you frowning? Can you not tell? I can't tell. Wow, I just must be naturally beautiful. My secret is a secret stash of Easter eggs I've been buying for Easter. I buy a pack every time I go to the supermarket. Why not? My partner doesn't know I used to be a stripper in my uni days.

Oh. I've been a secret daily stoner for over six years. My husband has no idea. What? You smoke marijuana every day. How does he not like... Smell it? Yeah.

Where's your... So why do I keep finding like burgering packets in the car? Yeah, you're just like bags and bags of rations and orange juice. For two years, my partner lied about his ethnicity and who his real father was. He was adopted and felt embarrassed by it and I actually figured it out. I was living with them

during COVID and came across photos and documents and I also started to understand their language as it's similar to my native language. Lots to unpack there.

Not super juicy, but like most girls I have online shopping on the way. Yeah, babe, just say that it was in storage. I secretly...

What storage though? What storage? Oh, it was in the garage in storage. I secretly... What storage though? What storage? The garage. I secretly watch adult fun films, short form adult fun films, every morning next to her while she's asleep and I do the deed. It's just quicker that way.

Every morning! They must have incredible in a sprung mattress technology. Oh, they must have zero partner disturbance on that way. Every morning. Must have incredible in a sprung mattress technology. Oh, they must have zero partner disturbance on that mattress. She wakes up every morning thinking there's a mini earthquake. It's like, God, these aftershocks, still going. I've been with more women than my husband. By the way, I'm the wife. Look at you.

That got you excited, didn't it? Tell me more, tell me more. Tell me more, tell me more. My secret I'm keeping from my partner is that I actually had a one-night stand with his older brother. Oh, okay. Text back. Who's better? We were both super drunk and I was dressed in a Halloween costume.

So I had a blonde. Is this too much information? I had a full costume on, full face of heavy makeup and then I go to town. When I go to town I always use a fake name if guys ask because they're just creepy.

But obviously his brother, oh my God, his brother doesn't even know it was her. The brother doesn't know because I look different in my costume. I only met his brother

a year into our relationship and we've now been together for three and a half years. So, yeah, okay. Okay. So she slept with someone. I thought she slept with him behind the boyfriend's back. Yeah, right.

Okay. She slept with this guy in town, then met the brother and the brother hasn't put two and two together. Now she has just texted back, the brother was better. The brother was better? God, psych.

You can't unlearn that from me, Brian. That's just making Christmas really hard. That's making Christmas really difficult. We got really behind on our bills and our daughter needed an expensive surgery, so I borrowed money from my parents to pay them without telling him. He didn't know quite how bad it was

as I organised all the bills, etc. We would have never let my parents help otherwise. I was 21 when I had my daughter to a much older man, knowing that I was the side piece. He was married with three other kids. My partner doesn't know. Jeepers. Did she?

Okay, she's told us why it was better. I like you. I like you. I like you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't tell my husband, my now husband, that I went to jail. His mother dug into my history and found out and told him behind my back. What?

And he's obviously, it didn't faze him because they're married. Why was she in prison? And how did the mum find that out? Like just search news documents or? Oh my god, my partner doesn't know that I'm currently a topless waitress outside of my 9 to 5 job.

My partner for almost 7 years doesn't know. It's only going to take a stag to when he's going to find out and then that's going to be pretty awkward. In high school I hooked up with a girl. 5 years later I met my now wife. After months of dating, I met her family at a birthday. It turns out her sister is the one I hooked up with.

Oh, my God, this is the other version. Who was better? I stepped her aside and said to, I stepped the sister aside and said, can we please just get this between us? Seven years on, still a secret. We can't. And he was secretly stoked. He's like, sisters.

Now, who was better? Who was better? Because the other Now, who was better? Who was better? Because the other person answered who was better and why. This is so juicy. I cannot believe some of these messages. Look, I know the recent message that you are explaining a lot to your 12-year-old son right now, but, you know, the sooner they learn, the better.

I prank my partner all the time. So I keep secrets all the time on the daily from low-level stuff like being sent to the supermarket, then calling her to say, the supermarket's all out of our milk. I know it's just so crazy. All the way through to an elaborate lie about taking her to a wedding experience

run by the council for her birthday, which she was upset about. What? What? The wife is better than the sister. Oh, well, that's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. Jeepers, you listeners are full of the juice. I love that. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. Now, we're in the midst of Bad Parent Week in the animal kingdom.

Yes. Now, I have been sent a link from Fawnsmith. He's roused himself from his tickle slumber. On his deathbed. Yeah, to send this link. And today's bad parent belongs to the house sparrow. Oh, yeah. Is the house sparrow just your regular run in the mill? It's the house sparrow. Is the house sparrow

just your regular run of the mill? It's just a sparrow. And then you've got your other sparrows, like, you know, your proper Flash Hendrix sparrow. You've got your Jack Sparrows. Your top shelf spirits that they don't give you with the house sparrow.

They might be watered down a bit. Kristoff Sparrows. You liked that, didn't you? Because you're a booze hag. You know, they might be watered down a bit. Christoph Sparrows. You like that, didn't you? Because you're a booze hag. You like that. Do you know what? I'm on a budget.

I'm just going to have the house sparrow. No, whatever it is, it's fine. I'll have this nondescript red wine. Just house sparrow for me, not top shelf sparrow. This is your run of the mill house sparrow.

Now, what they do, mum uh gets cheated on by the husband okay so the male we always call them husband and wife in the animal kingdom beautiful ceremony yeah so the husband the husband goes and he sleeps with other birds but when the house sparrow female finds this out, she seeks out the nest of the other females that mated with her man and she kills the resulting chicks. Oh my God. This way-

That is very jealous behavior from the house sparrow. This way, her baby daddy will spend all his time fathering her youngsters and not these other youngsters. Men. Am I right? I'll say.

Men. So, in this article it says, just imagine finding out your mum killed your half-brother so that your dad would spend more time

with you. Yeah. That's wild. Jell- House sparrow, the house sparrow. How do they, do they just peck the eggs or something or do they push them out. Yeah. That's wild. The house sparrow. Do they just peck the eggs or something or do they push them out? Yeah. They just peck at them and basically

crack them up. And do they ever have fights? Like the mum sparrow comes into the nest. Well, this is the thing. If all the mums are out doing this, it's survival of the fittest, isn't it? Yeah.

Because if dad's sleeping around and he's shagged five sparrows and all those females are going to try to kill each other's eggs. But do they have a goss? Like, do they find out whose nest is whose? Do they just know? How do they know as well? Like, does he come home smelling of her?

You know? She's like, what's that perfume? And he's like, I don't know. You're like, is that Margaret? House's like I don't know you're like is that Margaret House Sparrow Margaret you've been with her I recognise her perfume that's House Sparrow Margaret

and they get to the nest and they can smell the perfume of Margaret yeah and they're like oh my god I'm going to destroy all these eggs I'll kill

kill her unborn children and then I'll come back and he'll come back and he'll be like yeah now it's just you and me till the day we die so today's fact of the day we die.

So today's fact of the day during Bad Parents of the Animal Kingdom week is that female house sparrows, if cheated on, will go and kill the offspring of the other female that the man cheated on with. That made sense. That totally made sense. She kills the, she's murderous. It's brutal. It's brutal.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I put it in the locker. I was like, where's my phone during that break? You called it. I literally just put it in the locker and then came in and said, where's my phone? I'm going to get Alzheimer's one day.

Thank you, Shannon. Now, I introduced lovely Erin to the world of scrunchies because Aaron has thick, long, curly hair and he would always wear these little stupid hair ties and then, like, when he'd take them out, rip his hair out. Yeah. And he comes from a family of men who don't always keep their hair, and he thinks because he's got this curly hair,

he's just going to keep it all. Well, he's Greg Grover from Nova. He can't be losing the curls. Lose the curls, lose the job. That's what they said to him. I can't imagine a bald man knocking on someone's door with... With deals? With deals, no.

With energy and phone deals? No, neither. You've got to keep the curls curls and we'll lose our job. Anyway, so I introduced him to the world of scrunchies. He was like, oh, scrunchies are for girls. And I said, no, do you know who wears scrunchies? Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa loves a scrunchie.

He even makes his own scrunchies. There'll be a lot of men with long hair that use a scrunchie, surely. It's so much better for your hair. It's so much better, especially if you've got textured hair like Aaron. So I introduced him to silk scrunchies thinking this is great. You can save your hair, keep your good looks, keep your good job. Everyone's happy. For the last three days, I can't find a single one of my scrunchies.

So it's backfired because he's there. All gone. I reckon I've got like eight scrunchies in my repertoire, not a single one. I've got this like fat thing. Like this is a big fat. Yeah, I did see that. I did see that and think, that's unusual from you.

It's a fat scrunchie. I literally can't find a single scrunchie. Yeah. So now he's hijacked all of my scrunchies. So a bit of a Gloria Vale scrunchie there, isn't it? It's stupid. Look at it.

Yeah. It's a terrible scrunchie. Is he leaving them other places, like outside? I don't know how he works, but they're nowhere to be seen. I've looked through my bathroom, looked through my handbags, looked through my car. You know there's probably a scrunchie in there. Nothing.

And he's just been using his scrunchies and then, yeah, taking them out and then finding mine and putting them in. It's backfired. It's backfired. It's backfired. I should have just let him go bald. So I'm going to get some new scrunchies. But how do I, do I have to get scrunchies that are like pink and patent and stuff? Get pink ones.

Yeah, get pink and purple ones. But Jason Momoa wears pink scrunchies. Yeah. If Aaron wears a pink scrunchie in his long curly hair, I might just be like, that's hot. That's hot. So you can't win. I hot. So you can't win. I literally can't win. I'll shave my hair off.

No, I won't. I'll never do it. I'll look terrible. Anyway, I want my scrunchies back, Aaron, if you're listening. Can you just go to Cayman and get a, I don't know, a 10 pack? It's not the point. He can't just take my stuff. He does it as a charges.

He's just like, yoink, that's mine now. He's done it with my scrunchies. He's done it with that. I don't know. I feel it as a charges. He's just like, yoink, that's mine now. He's done it with my scrunchies. He's done it with that. I don't know. I feel it a fair brewing. I'm just saying. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole, we have asked the people, did you feel pressured to lose weight for your wedding? Now this comes from the back of research out of the UK.

In the UK, more than 80,000 weddings take place each year. And researchers say up to 91% of brides-to-be attempt to lose weight on the run-up to the wedding. Yeah, I would say the majority of my friends who got married for Marley's would have shredded for the wedding. Even the guys shredded for the wedding. Yeah, for sure.

You want to look good on your big day but that's the thing that research has found. There's a lot of pressure. Social media, you want your photos to look good. It's all about the photos. It's all about the photos. I know. And it can lead to problems like eating disorders. Totally. Because you do anything

to get to a certain size but actually at the end of the day, it does not matter. And also the research out of the UK found that there was a lot of pressure. It wasn't just Instagram and wanting to have amazing photos. Family pressure. Yeah. Like family

being like, come on, lose a bit. Come on, your wedding's coming up. You don't want to look like that. You're like, this is just what I look like. Anyway, Rich, I mean we're not married, so we haven't had that, felt that pressure. Which is why you should just run away and elope with just

your loved one to Vegas. I know, like relaxed elope. Beautiful. Well, our respondents, 64% said yes, they did feel pressure to lose weight for their wedding. 36% said no. Some feedback. Elle says

I had a baby 12 weeks before but got fitted for the dress around four months pregnant. There was a lot of crossing fingers. So four months pregnant you wouldn't have too much of a belly. No. Right.

And then 12 weeks post you'd have a bit of a belly. Oh, that would be stressful, though. No, you'd have to go fit and flare. Yeah. Fit and flare. Sarah says, yes, I did, but I didn't bother. But body dysmorphia is a real thing for brides. Totally.

Yeah. Totally. Maxine says, I felt pressured to lose weight for other people's weddings. Really? Everyone is dressing to the nines, looking good, lots of pictures. Likely other people you haven't seen in a long time. Yeah. It's very hard.

Trying to think about, I've been a bridesmaid so many times. One of them I was like real shreds. But did you feel the pressure? Not from the bride. No. Okay. I think I was just like, that'd be nice. Yeah.

But no. But then how good's cake, hey? How good is a cake? How good's cake? It's so young. How good is a cake? Laura says, I got married on Saturday. I'm a wife now.

Sorry, but I'm very excited still. Congratulations, Laura. And I felt I needed to lose weight when we started planning, but then I wasn't losing it despite doing as much as I could. Got depressed about it. Then as cheesy as this sounds, listening to you guys and sex.life. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Oh my God. I realised that it didn't matter how I look

as long as I felt confident in myself. And who cares? And honestly, after realising that, I literally had the most incredible weekend and felt effing hot as hell. Oh, that's great. Apologies for the swear words. Don't apologise.

Laura, I love this for you. Nikki says, The dress fitter said I would be so much prettier if I was a size 8 or 10 instead of a 12. What? Leave that.

Oh my, get a new dressmaker. Fire them. Yeah. Lauren says, yes, I did feel pressure but then we found out we were having a baby seven weeks before the wedding.

I always think this because I can't even have champagne at my own wedding. Oh yeah, you'd want to get absolutely, oh yeah, you'd want to get absolutely shit faced. I cancelled the wedding. I cancelled the wedding. Oh yeah, you'd want to get absolutely, oh yeah, you'd want to get absolutely shit faced.

I cancelled the wedding, I cancelled the wedding. So we kept the wedding date and that took all the pressure off of losing weight and said I was blessed with some juicy milky boobs, which made for great wedding pictures. Yeah. I understand that.

Caitlin, yes, oh my God, this is awful. F45, eating less than 1500 calories a day, no sugar, it was a time.

To this day, I still don't understand why I even bother. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Put yourself through hell. Yeah. Sheenan says, I get married in five weeks. Good luck.

And I certainly do feel the pressure, but I've done nothing about it. I had a bad time shopping for wedding dresses. Yeah, I mean, it's hard. They're all sample sizes. Yeah, I get that. And had to get my dress altered a lot to fit. Do you know what? The dress is meant to fit you, not you fit the dress. Yeah, I get that. And had to get my dress altered a lot to fit. Do you know what? The dress is meant to fit you,

not you fit the dress. Yeah. And lastly, Lauren says, no, but I had a trans-Tasman nine-guest wedding at the tail end of COVID, so there were plenty

of other pressures to be getting on with. Also, post-COVID, we were all a bit juicier, weren't we? Yeah, we all had those juicy milky boobs. All of us. All of us.

All of us had those. If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.