ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 28th July 2023

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Haylien News  Top 6: Driveway Pole  Men have favourite Wars  Final Rankings: Ways to drink fizzy  Vaughans Kumara  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to the show Fleshpawn and Hayley, happy Friday. Good morning, happy Friday. Do you know right now my parents are under the Tuscan sun seeing Andrea Bocelli as we speak. You just showed me the photo on Facebook.

They're just living the absolute best life. La Dolce Vita. My parents will be knee deep in mud in the midst of carving season at Lauren's school. Our parents are living different lives. Very different lives. But then if I said to my dad, do you want to go to Tuscany to see Andrea Pacelli? He'd say, who's that? Would be his first one.

And then probably not would be his second. Probably not. Different strokes for different folks. Yeah, totally. And what's Bev up to? Semi-retired. Well, yeah, maybe having a sleep in. No.

Yeah, you know, she's up. You can't stop the old girls. She'll be up. She'll be up having a cuppa. Yep. Good morning, Dev. All the parents out there this morning. Good morning to all the mums and dads.ppa. Yep. Good morning, Dave. All the parents out there this morning. Good morning to all the mums

and dads. Yeah. Coming up on the show, the top six. What is your T-shirt, Hayley? Oh, it's my friend's wine company. Because I thought

it was a Guinness T-shirt. What does it say? A Guinness green. I could drink a case of you. A case of you. Yeah. It looks like a bouquet of flowers, but it's wine glasses.

Are you charging them? Because you're wearing this T-shirt on all of the social media. You'll be in videos today. Yeah. Siren wines, everyday wines. If you're getting a free case, I might get a free bottle of Chien and Blanc. Beautiful. So now we see what's happening here.

I like this idea. A bit of product placement. When I drink wine, I drink siren wine. And we're not getting any free wine. Oh, you can have wine. But you have like this idea. Bit of product placement. When I drink wine, I drink siren wine. And we're not getting any free wine. Oh, you can have wine. Okay. But you have to come out

to my house for it. Nope. It's so far away. We did go last weekend. Yeah. That's how once every six months. Shannon's just said

I'm going to blur the logo. Absolutely not. Yes, blur the logo, Shannon. Unless we see some payment, some free wine, the logo will not make it onto social media. Ashley, can you send us some wine, please? The top six is coming up.

Yeah, a Tauranga teacher went to the supermarket, came home, and someone had concreted a pole in the middle of her driveway. What is this prank? Wow, this sounds like a Vaughan Smith prank. It's got big Vaughan Smith energy. From Vaughan Smith, early days in Hamilton. Hamilton days.

Whenever I concreted a poll on the teachers, I was scared of the teachers. Oh, yeah, you don't mess with the teachers. I wouldn't have tangoed with the teachers. So I've got the top six suspects in this concrete poll incident before seven. Couple of names immediately spring to mind. Caden.

Jaden. A Jaden or. Caden. Jaden. A Jaden or a Caden. Yeah. For sure. And then the rhymes with Aiden. Well, we know that women are better at multitasking than men.

We are. That's just a fact, right? Like, I'm terrible at it. One thing at a time. Otherwise, things go wrong. I can juggle it. I can do lots of things at it. One thing at a time. Otherwise, things go wrong. I can juggle it. I can do lots of things at once.

None particularly well. Yeah, right. But I specialise in four tasks at a time. Yeah. Well, new research out saying that women, while better at multitasking than men, that could be the thing that's putting them at risk because apparently young women are around 80% more likely

to be injured after falling down stairs than young men. Who did this study? Do they just stand and push a bunch of people down the stairs and be like, she got more stuffed up? Researchers filmed 2,500 adults under the age of 40 descending two staircases. They found that women were more likely to be in a conversation with someone which could distract them from watching their step.

We're chatty. You're chatty downstairs. And they were also more likely in all the, I'm assuming that was just like a stairwell at a workplace or somewhere public. Yeah. They were also more likely to be multitasking by holding something, such as a coffee, a bag, or an item of clothing.

Wait, or on their phone? On their phone, which made it harder for them to grab the handrail if they did trip and miss a step. Also, women were more likely to be wearing impractical footwear, such as high heels or sandals. Well, that's the patriarchy. Yes. Yeah.

And yeah, apparently, like, putting themselves 80% more at risk of actually hurting themselves. So women fall down the stairs more than men. We're falling down the stairs more often. God, we're silly. I think I've got, I mean, I've got immaculate balance thanks to the sport of marching. I don't take falls often.

Have you ever done that thing where you think you've walked down the stairs because you're on your phone and then you can't. There's one more step. There's one more step. Have you ever done that thing where you think you've walked down the stairs because you're on your phone and then you can't? There's one more step. There's one more step. Do you know what's worse? Expecting one more step and there's no more steps. Your foot hits the ground.

You're like, ow! Yeah, yeah. Either way, if there's been a miscalculation in the amount of steps, that's embarrassing too. Yeah. I had a little slip down the steps last week, but it was because it was leg day. And you know when you smash your legs and then you go to walk down

and walking down you're like, ha, ha. And they just gave way. But, yeah, how embarrassing for women. Well, maybe just always be by the handrail. Well, maybe if they started designing clothes that actually had frickin' pockets in them, we wouldn't be holding all of our stuff. And maybe if we didn't have to wear high heels.

There's nothing to say. Can you put my water bottle, my wallet, and my phone in your bag? Yeah. That's also a problem too. And then it's like on one shoulder and it's like taking me down. Also, there's nothing to stop you wearing cargo pants and a plain shirt. Wow. You know you're right.

A shirt with a pocket and some cargo pants and I'd be all right. Then you jump into your youth. We're also top heavy. Yeah, that's also true. The breasticles are pulling us forward. Nothing in this study mentions the top heaviness. So what you think the answer is a fatter dumper. You've got to balance it out.

With a fat dumper. I agree with science. If you're going to have a big rack, you're going to have to work on the back. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Today's Silly Little Pole comes from some research that says dogs fed once a day are healthier dogs. Oh, really? Once a day.

Once a day. And you feed them what you would normally feed them at night. Well, you work out. Actually, pretty. Hmm. Because they've been sleeping. They're breaking their fast. They need the energy for the day.

Yeah. Morning. You'd feed them once in the morning. My dogs have their bigger meal at night, but then I also have my biggest meal at night, and maybe I'm not. That's not... Yeah, you're not supposed to.

We're not supposed to. Is it the Spanish that do the lunch? They've got it nailed. And they have little nunnies. They have a little menar, those nunnies. That's good stuff. So maybe, yeah, hmm. Because if you feed them more than once,

you are also likely to wildly overfeed them. Yeah. Gosh. How many times a day do you feed your pets? Once, twice, or three times? Once, 21% of people said once. Hmm. Okay.

Twice, 73% of people. You. Hmm. Okay. Twice? 73% of people. You had breakfast and dinner? Yeah. Three times? 6%. 6% of people. They must be fat little chonkers. Do you, what?

Dude, when we, when Rolly was a kitten, we do 7am breakfast, 6pm dinner, and we do a 9pm snack No! He doesn't need it but now if he doesn't get it he'll just flip

9 o'clock and he's there Hey, time, it's time Where's my snack? Was that so you could catnap him so that he'd sleep on your bed? I don't know You'd like to get him into the house for cuddles? Yeah, get him inside.

I don't know, but we've really stuffed up there. We admit it. Every time we have snack at nine, we're like, God, we're really stuffed up. Couldn't you just give him more at seven? No, he doesn't need any more. Could you push seven out to eight? Nah.

No way. No, your cats are there. He will flip. He's there from 4.30 on like, hey. Does he meow? The closer it gets to the time. Right. Does he scratch the door where it is?

No scratching. God damn. These cats, they drive me crazy. 4.30. One's a meow. One's like. And it's like, well, they're hungry. They are hungry.

Well, how often do you feed Major Mars? Morning and night. Yeah. So you're a twice. Well, 4.30 and 4.30. But I don't know about cats. This was just a dog study. Right, okay.

Yeah, I couldn't imagine feeding the cat once a day. He would not like that. That's sperm. That's spiral. Anna messaged, why isn't there an option for seven plus feeds a day? For our cat, Mini Meow. He won't be little Mini Meow for long if he's eating seven times a day. Little bastard costs more to feed than my horses.

But I love the little bastard. Really, you're swearing about this cat a lot. And then she calls him an effing freeloader. Yeah. Cat sucks. Do you remember when it was big in the 90s, the cat would pour at the biscuit paddle and it would drop more biscuits? Yeah.

And people were like, it's great, you can go away for the weekend and your cat would just sit there on day one and just be like, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push. Eat, eat, eat. Eat, bleh. Vomit up a log of dry biscuits. And then. On the edge of the rug.

Yeah. Because I love my little fatty cat, there are always plenty of biscuits and he gets a pouch twice a day. So she's just rocking a full bowl. That's so much food. That's bad. In little pouches. Helen says, whenever the bowl is empty.

No. You're going to have a fat post. It's so weird people that just have a big mountainous bowl of biscuits and the cat just... You're going to have a fat post, Helen. You are. I'll tell you that much. Emily says, twice, but also. I'll tell you that much. Emily says twice but also some extra treaties scattered

throughout the day because how can I say no to that precious little face? I remember reading somewhere, I don't know if it was a vet or some online thing that one like little treaty is the equivalent of like a human having like a burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those little treats

is giving them a massive burger. When you're like four or five treats, like halfway through the day or mid-afternoon, you're giving your cat like five burgers. Your cat's like, cutie. Kate says, I feed my Cavoodle once and it'll eat half in the morning and half

at night. We've got a Cavoodle Lulu that hardly eats. Some days it'll just be like, I'm not eating today. Yeah, but she's on death's door. But she's always been like this. Oh, really? And maybe that's the got to convert or Lulu hardly eats. Some days she'll just be like, I'm not eating today. Yeah, but she's on death's door. But she's always been like this. Oh, really? Yeah. And maybe that's the secret to her long life.

Yeah. She's doing that. She's fasting. Yeah, she is. Intimate fasting. Intimate dog fasting. She's intimate fasting. Always looks thin,

always looks good. Yeah. A bit too thin at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot happening there. Deborah said, technically once, we cook him special chicken mints

with all the added goodies and vitamins a dog needs. So he has a warm dinner at night. No. And 24-hour access to biscuits. No. So he snacks whenever he chooses. Fat galah. You're making chicken mints?

Get out. My nana used to have Labradors, and they were always fat. And then she got Golden Retrievers, and they were always fat. And then she got golden retrievers, and they were always fat. And she said, they're just a big breed of dog. This woman used to hand feed them hot Weet-Bix with sugar every morning. What? Oh, my. That is not a meal for dogs.

I know. She'd put hot milk in and some sugar and stir it up. And while it was slopping, she'd stir it as they ate it. Oh, yeah. Far out. It was wild. And people were like, you've got to stop that. And while it was slopping, she'd stir it as they ate it. Oh, yuck. Far out. It was wild. And people were like, you've got to stop that. And she's like, no.

She overfed those dogs till the day she was no longer with us. And she went through some dogs too because they were all real fat and died of obesity-related issues. Yeah, right. Sally says currently feeding three times a day because she's a puppy. Is that a thing? Is that a thing? I don't know.

I don't have dogs. A robot feeds them twice a day and she's a puppy. Is that a thing? Is that a thing? I don't know. I don't have dogs. A robot feeds them twice a day and I only do dinners. So three times. So that's three. Robot, robot, dinner. Robot, robot, dinner. I don't feel like pets need lunch, eh?

Even now and then I give a little shaved ham. Rolly loves ham. Emily says, my dogs are fed twice. The cat is fed whenever she annoys us. Enough to feed her again. So sometimes up to five.

What? This is bad. And they know. It's like a naughty child. They know that they can just bother you and you just give in. That's fine. You've got to be strong and strict. 621, next on the show.

A TikTok trend that I was like, that's ridiculous. And then I found out how much money people are making. Oh, and now Hayley wants on board. Yeah, I want in. Hayley's going to do it. I'm like, that's ridiculous. And then I found out how much money people are making. Oh, and Hayley wants on board. Yeah, I want in. Hayley's going to do it. I'm going to kick this off. Tell you how to make $800,000 US dollars this weekend. This just makes me want to live in the middle of nowhere and cut ties with humanity.

Yeah. ZM. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, I know what an NPC is. A non-playable character. It was that movie we went and saw with Ryan Reynolds. He was an NPC.

Yes, and Jodie Comer. That was a great movie. Yes. Very good. So that's NPC. I know what it means. I know how it works. And that's where my knowledge on what we're about to talk about

and understanding of it ends. It's more than mine, though. Well, now you're at the same point as me. I'm in. So we are going to ask in the producer's booth where we believe someone can delve deeper into this NPC trend that was started by Pinky Doll, not her real name on her birth certificate. Her online persona.

That would be a great real name on her birth certificate, though. I'm just saying. Pinky, first name. Felicity Doll. Felicity. Oh, you're going to give her a middle name? Yeah, yeah. We've got to have a middle name.

You have to. Producer Jared, good morning. Hello. Now, are you using the same deodorant as me? Is that your deodorant? That's my deodorant. Oh, my God. Hang on.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm wearing it. It's out because I borrowed it. Jared and I can't. I've had that deodorant? That's my deodorant. Oh my god, hang on. No, no, no, no, no. I'm wearing it. Sharon and I can't. I've had that deodorant for like 10 years. 12, 20 years. I've had it for like 21, so get off my back. Wait, you've been using this the whole time? Yeah. Okay. Competition. Whoever loses has to wear

links. Mark it down. Mark it down. After 8 o'clock, we'll come up with some sort of... You've got a smell, a blindfolded smell, and whoever can identify the most smells gets to keep the deodorant. Oh, my God. Vaughan, whoever doesn't has to wear Africa. We'll go to the fridge in the common area.

We'll get out a whole bunch of stuff for them to sniff. I'm just... Whoever has the better nose gets to keep the deodorant. I get a rash. Sorry. That's why I had to change to, like... You can wear Cool Charm. And then I went to Nivea.

You get cool charm. You can wear legs Africa. I'm just saying there's only room for one Nivea dry. Other deodorants make me sweat more. Isn't that weird? It is weird. Your body works them out and it's like, oh, no. It's a good deodorant, that one.

Sometimes people are saying, what are you wearing? I'm like, just deodorant. I know. You do have a lovely natural scent, though. Thank you. Really, a fair amount. Yeah, because remember we put on just that base for I know. You do have a lovely natural scent though. Really, fair enough. Yeah, because remember we put on just that

base for the perfume and for some reason it was really nice. Yeah, you reeked. People were just throwing themselves at the studio window. Yeah.

Like mindless zombies. And seagulls. We had to stop. We had to get rid of us. That was attracting. It's a fish and chip when you smell it. Fish and chips.

I can't wait for the sniff test. Slightly distracted the sniff test. Who gets to keep wearing Nivea and who has to be the lynx king? I'm simply not. Someone has to be lynx king. But Jared, you can shed some light

on this new trend. Yep. The NPC TikTok trend. So people go on live and kind of just stand in front of the camera. Like still, like centre in the camera. Yeah. And I don't think they do a whole lot until people start sending like the hearts or the

cowboy hat things that you have to pay for. The hearts and cowboy, sorry? So like they'll be standing there not doing too much and then a little heart will appear and it'll say like, so and so donated $2. And then the person on the live will go heart, blah blah blah slurp slurp, teep ba ba ba, and then that's it. Sorry.

And then the next person sends a cowboy hat and they'll be like whoa, yee-haw cowboy cha-cha-cha. And then they don't do anything until another thing comes and it's like a coin and they'll be like So they're like, they're busking. They're busking as But they're not doing busking, they're busking. They're busking as... But they're not doing busking.

They're standing there. They're not showing any talent. They're not singing Wonderwall. They're the shopkeep at the general store of every video game ever. So they've got limited responses. She'll have this pinky doll. She's the one that's leading the charge. Yeah, I'm watching some of it now.

And making $7,000 a day. Sorry. Sorry. I didn't even know this was a thing on TikTok. You buy a heart. Yeah. Do you give TikTok your credit card details? I think so, yeah.

Yeah. I'm just watching her. So she's just literally sitting here. She's got her hair straight in her hand. I don't know what's happening there. Yeah. Is she popping a single corn of popcorn? No. Because that's what I see.

They, like, stand there. They've got their hair straightener with a single kernel on. And then they don't do much until it pops. And they're like, pop, pop. And then they put another one in and just wait for more gifts. Oh, my God. But why is she, like, slurping things up? She's like.

I don't even think Panky Doll's the best because I've watched a couple of these now. Yeah. And even her NPC voice isn't the best. There's some people who do a great voice as well. They sound like a Siri or an Alexa. Oh, I can do that. Yeah, you could do it.

So you could be standing... Yum, yum, a heart. Thank you so much. So... But you're making money now. You could be standing in your house making money just doing nothing do I have to get my boobies out? No, I'm just a boobies are there a very recent Cleave I've got

Ample cleavage at the moment. Okay. Yeah, you could do this. Oh my god. Thank you so much for the heart yum yum The lucky sound was a bit much. No, that's what they're paying for. Oh Yeah, oh my god popcorn goes pop The licky sound was a bit much. No, that's what they're paying for. Oh, are they? That's what they're after. Okay, right. Oh, my God. Popcorn.

Girls pop. She's a natural. Yeah. Could you be there in your bare feet? Because, you know, some people might like that. Yeah, toes up. A bit of a feety thing. A bit of a feety thing. Look at my feet.

Yeah. Okay. Imagine if you'd been, like, cryogenically frozen in, like, I don't know, the 50s, and then you just rethought right now and you're listening to this radio program. If you're in your 50s, you'd be like, where's my dinner?

You should be like, what dinner? Look at my feet, yum. Serp, serp, cowboy hat. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Time for another installment of Halian News. That's right, babies. And this time it's serious. I will say take this with a tablespoon of salt.

No, that is bad for your heart. Now, a lot of the times that we've had Halian News, it's been like this person said that or this person saw this or, you know, there's loose, someone saw something. Yeah. And I agree. You know, not a lot of evidence to support these alien claims. We'll get this.

A former intelligence officer of the US government. Who may or may not have fallen down like a QAnon rabbit hole. No. He's just a former intelligence officer. Has told the US Congress that the American government is in possession of both UFOs and aliens. Non-human bodies. Of course. Yeah, of course. This was in front of Congress, so...

He testified this under oath. This just happened yesterday, right? Yeah. He said that when he worked there... Sorry, carry on. He said that when he worked there, he's seen him. And he's gone...

His job was in charge of... This kind of stuff. This kind of stuff, like... Oddities and... Oddities, he was the minister of oddities. But, like, there's still no evidence. He said it was tic-tac-shaped, the UFO. He said the weather on this...

Even Siri's listening, she's interested. The weather on the day of the incident was so close to perfect as you could ask. Clear skies, light winds, calm seas. Like, no... That could be a thing. That could be a cloud. That could be a cloud. That could be this.

When there was a tic-tac-shaped object that they saw, and they took it down, and it was a UFO, and they've got it, and they're not giving it, and they're not showing it to us. Now, Trump will know this is true. Obama will know that this is true. Biden will know that this is true. That was one of the biggest things that people said. If there actually were aliens,

Trump would have spilled the beans by now. He said that before he got elected, didn't he? Yeah. I remember watching a thing and he said, and if there's aliens, you'll know about it,

I'll tell you. Yeah. I'm not going to do, I'm going to tell you. And I reckon that would have swung a few votes because they might not have agreed with him politically,

but they want to know if there's aliens in that big shed. Even though this guy is in front of Congress and he's saying this, there's still no, where's the backup evidence? Well, until we see it. Where are his photos?

Like, here are the photos. Here's the video. There's a lot of photos in the alien area of wherever they store them. Area 41. Area 41. You can't take your phone in there. Of course they take it off you. That'd be stupid.

They're hiding it. Just need a bit more evidence. I don't know if there's much more evidence. Aliens are also like your partner. You're not allowed to put any photos of them online without them giving express permission and picking which one. Even if you're in it too and your eyes are shut, but it's the better photo

of her. But I'm always just looking at what I look like in the photo. Exactly. Yeah, same. And maybe the aliens are thinking the same, being like, I don't look cute, I have bad skin that day. Are you an alien? I'm definitely not an alien. Prove it. You can't.

I can't. You can't. We've got an alien in our minister. I just want you to prove it if you're bringing these claims. I want some backup evidence. But the support is that he... No. He said this in front of Congress under oath. And he used to work for the US intelligence.

I mean, he's just... Just going to need to see a little bit more proof is all. Oh, look, I want to see a photo as well, but it's not going to happen. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Miss Harker,

somebody concreted a pole in the middle of your driveway. This is so bad. Told on a teacher, mystified after a pole cemented in her driveway while she was out. You said she went out and then came back. Was it still

wet enough, the concrete? She could have just pulled it out? Surely. Concrete takes a while. She pulled up. It might be quick. Some of that quick. If she'd gone to the supermarket.

Yeah. Sometimes that takes me like an hour. And lingered. Yeah. And maybe done a couple of other things. Wait, and none of the neighbours? Totally, that quick set concrete could have been gone. The neighbours didn't see anything?

So she said she arrived home as a metal pole, plastic wrapped, standing more than two metres tall. She's like, ah, the neighbours have ordered a basketball hoop or something and it's accidentally

been delivered to mine. She went to pull it out. It would not budge. Oh shit, she says, it's cemented in. Wow. Wait,

it's not the council thinking that's who they're going to put a road sign. Because you know, that's something the council would do. No, it's well off the road. Okay.

The pole lined up with her garage and her next thought was someone was trying to add a carport, but it wasn't her. What? This is wild. Before she left for work the next day, she left a note on it with her phone number saying on the mysterious pole, I have no idea what this is doing here. Please call me. Wait, could it have been someone that wants a pole

and the person's got the wrong address? She then asked the neighbour and the neighbour was like, nah, we thought you were putting up a carport. Why would someone want a pole in the middle of the driveway? Tauranga City Council, she called them and asked and they were like, no idea what you're talking about. Oh my God. It's definitely shitbag kids.

She said, maybe it's a random God. It's definitely shitbag kids. She said, maybe it's a random gift. It coincidentally appeared on the anniversary of my four year ownership of this home. And then she's like, it's a prank.

And that's the only answer. So it's right in the middle. She can't drive past it. It lines up with her carport wildly inconveniently placed. Okay. What a weird, but the hole must have been there.

It's funny, man. Because otherwise they'd have to have dug the hole and it's in the middle of concrete. Oh, okay. Unless someone rocks in. Sledgehammer, sledgehammer, sledgehammer, sledgehammer.

Go, go, go, go, go. Or like a drill, yeah. Yeah, get cherry. What a wild prank. I know. It's funny. If she wasn't a teacher, I'd be like, it's a mistake. But she's a teacher, so I'm like, it's a wild prank. It's funny. If she wasn't a teacher, I'd be like, it's a mistake. But she's a teacher, so I'm like, it's a shitbag.

It's a prank. We used to always know the houses of the teachers, because I lived in a small town as well. And you'd always be like, that's Mrs. Lee's house. That's where Miss Haskell lives. That's where da-da-da-da. You'd always walk by and be like, can I have a look? How horrible is a teacher?

There was a thorough investigation into a flaming bag full of poos. Oh, really? And at our school, yeah. I still reckon it was Jacinda. If you had a teacher, if you were a teacher, you would have Arlo security cameras.

Oh, you would have security cameras. Of course you would. Of course you would. I've got the top six types of kids that concrete poles in the middle of driveways. Number six, that kid that always has matches

or somewhere starting a fire. Yeah. What do you do with a box of beehive safety matches there? Jaden? They just light them

and throw them away and you're like, oh, people now. And then a toy toy bush down the road from school catches fire and it happens to be on his walk home.

It's Jaden. But Jaden's denying it. We all know it's him. They were always the kids too. And to be honest, I could do this pretty well, where you'd hold the match on top of the matchbox and flick the match and it would strike it and it would go... Fun shit. Number five

on the list of the top six kids that conquered the pole in the middle of that teacher's driveway. That kid that's always just biking around, no helmet, biking around menacing helmet, biking around menacingly looking at things. He's on a BMX. He goes past your driveway and you've got a fence

but he can see down the middle of it where the gate is and his eyes just focus down the driveway. Yeah. What are you looking down here for, boy? Are you going to steal my ladder? Get out of here!

Number four on the list of the top six types of kids that conquered that pole in the middle of the lovely teacher's driveway. That kid who you're sure doesn't have parents because you've never seen them. You always, at some stage, will see somebody's parents. Yeah.

But there's always one or two kids at school and you are sure they don't have parents. You're like, where do they go? They just walk into a house and the curtains are always pulled and you're like, is that Norman go? They just walk into a house and the curtains are always pulled and you're like, that Norman Bates their mum. Yeah. Who's living in that house? Yeah.

You never see the mum or the dad. Number three on the list of the top six kids that concreted the pole in the middle of that teacher's driveway. That kid that once in winter when there was condensation on the window licked the window and everybody won't let that kid forget about it. Ew. Oh, God. That's let that kid forget about it. Ew. That's just human sweat. Old window licker.

Yuck. Number two on the list are the top six types of kids that conquered the pole in the middle of that lovely teacher's driveway. That kid that just appeared at school one day and you're sure as an adult pretending to be a kid. Yeah.

He's smoking, he's got a beard, and you're like, aren't we 12? Subset, they started at your school because at their last school they just kept failing yeah the year

yeah they still want to be in the education system so they're like 24 yeah and you're 7th form yeah wow

and number one on the list of the top 6 kids that conquered the pole in the middle of that teacher's driveway the kid that's not even a kid it's the other teacher that you've wronged oh and they're trying to make it look like a kid pole in the middle of that teacher's driveway. The kid that's not even a kid, it's the other teacher that you've wronged.

Oh. And they're trying to make it look like a kid. Drama in the teacher's room. Drama in the staff room. Yes. Wow. Maybe, what was her name? Miss Hucker?

Started at the school, and now she's the hot teacher. Oh, and the other teacher's not. And the old hot teacher. Yeah, right. Mrs. Malone. Mrs. Malone, not taking it well. You think it could have been Mrs. Malone that concreted the... Mrs. Malone used to be the one that, you know,

if dads found out that parent-teacher interviews were the Mrs. Malone, yeah, I'll come. Aren't you working that day? Oh, Uncle Furley. When are we going to go see old Holly Malone? Well, she's old news now. That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

The girlies on TikTok are just realising that every man has a favourite war. And they've been sharing it, being like, go ask your boyfriend. Does he have a favourite war? What's World War II? World War II. You're a World War II? You're a World War II? You don't have a favourite war?

No. I hate all wars. I think I would like World War I. World War I blows my mind because technology evolves massively during times of conflict. And World War I was raggedy ass. That's where the Anzac biscuits were, right? The horses. Horses were the main form of transport.

And grenades were just invented. World War I, but it was also like foot rot and insane conditions. Okay, look what you've done. I know. But World War II, just for everybody was involved. How long it went on. The theatre of it. The uniforms were beautiful.

And the taking down of the Nazis at the end. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there was the victory. It was a big victory. Yeah. But for the record, I don't love war. No, no, no, no. But I do have a favourite.

I would say most fascinated by war. Gurlees, do you know that your gentlemen have a favourite war? Yeah, we've been chatting about Russian Revolution. Goes quite hard. So that's Rasputin and all that, you know? Okay, so you're talking about the 1917? Yeah, up to 1917. 1919, yeah.

Carwin, what about your boyfriend? Nah, we haven't discussed this. He's definitely got one. Is he up now? Text him. What's your favourite war, babe? I'll text him, but he won't be awake. He won't.

Start till nine. Oh, yeah, though. Is he one of those people that rolls out a bit at like quarter to nine? Nah, but like, not right now. Okay, but you should definitely text him. We can follow up later, because I reckon he'll be a World War II. JP, what's your favourite war? I quite like World War I and the follow-on effects

into the Russian Revolution. Oh, yeah, yeah, see? Aaron's World War I. He's a World War I man. He's an artisan man. Did you just read that off Wikipedia? No, I was in Accelerated History at school. Oh, were you?

I was in Cabbage History. You were in Cabbage History. I was thinking we'd go South African History. You might have dipped a toe. Cabbage. Were you Cabbage History? I was Cabbage History. South African history in my... Cabbage. Were you cabbage history? I was cabbage history, man. I just wasn't into it.

I was accelerated English, but cabbage history. Cabbage maths. Cabbage, cabbage English. I don't think they call it that anymore. My friend... I'm no teacher, but I don't think they call it that. My friend used to always come, and she was always in the cabbage classes,

and then we were in a little trio of friends. She'd be like, man she was always in the cabbage classes, and then we were in a little trio of friends. She'd be like, man, I'm in the cabbage classes, and me and my friend Maria would be like, oh, babe, we're popping off to accelerated English. Gonna leave you behind in cabbage. Yeah, Aaron likes World War I. Me and Aaron took my parents to the Auckland War Memorial Museum, and we lost them in World War I.

We moved on to World War II. Oh, you didn, hurry the wars. I had to ring them. Men and women and animals gave their lives. I know. You can't rush these things. Yeah, I know, but I don't like to dwell on the wars. I like to play my duos and then go.

It can get a bit mushy. Some great World War II movies. And like Band of Brothers, the miniseries. But there's some great World War I movies. And you forget World War II, like, it had a Pacific theatre of war.

It was on our doorstep, ladies and gentlemen. It could have easily got here. Well, didn't the Nazis like park a submarine and come aboard

and steal a ship? Japanese. Japanese. That was in Gisborne. Yeah. The Japanese submarine. We had like things to stop them getting

into the harbours and such. Yeah. I feel like no one's favourite war is Vietnam them getting into the harbours and such. Yeah. I feel like no one's favourite war is Vietnam. No. Well, there was no winner. There was no winner in Vietnam. It was unnecessary. Messy.

Messy, messy war. Yeah, it was. It was messy and gross. Someone said, what about the Great Emu War of 1932? Didn't know about the Great Emu War. This has been the back of the day. The Great Emu War. The Australian government lost to the emus.

The emus were coming and destroying crops and stuff, so they're like, let's kill them all. And the army was like, well, we're kind of between wars, so we've got nothing to do. Kill all those emus, and they couldn't. They couldn't even kill emus. The emus just kept coming. Oh no. And then they gave up. And they literally said,

we surrender to you, emus. And the emus are like, this was just a life lesson. We bow down, emu kings. Maybe that's my second favourite war then. Yeah, I haven't chosen one but I'll do some research. Again, I was a cabbage history.

But why is it a guy thing? I don't know. Just because guys love war movies, eh? I would never, I do not want to go to war. Oh, neither. I'm not a war guy.

I'd be one of those, what do they call them? Conscientious objectors? Oh, same. I'd be a coward. Pussies. Yeah, pussies. I think it's cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, me too. All the girlies are sharing screenshots and saying, like, hey, babe, what's your favourite war? And everyone's like, these ones, these ones. And they were just immediately like,

yeah, I've got a favourite war. Battle of Stalingrad's my favourite. Battle of Within, World War II as well. Massive turning point. Massive turning point. Wow. Yeah, wow. Wow.

Wow. Yeah, wow. Oh, my God, someone said Vietnam. Their boyfriend said Vietnam. And they're like, ooh, wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah, wow. Oh, my God, someone said Vietnam. Their boyfriend said Vietnam. And they're like, ooh, that's embarrassing. No. Ooh, I can't tell my friends this. Choose a different one.

Yeah. Next on the show, we're going to do final rankings. Today for final rankings. Ways to drink fizzy. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. It's the final rankings. We do this every Friday Final rankings today We're ranking the ways

To drink fizzy I don't drink a lot of fizzy My bottle's a temple My age just said bottle Oh your bottle That's that bloody Freudian slug Real Freudian slug

I drink it in a champagne glass That's how I drink it Your temple is Oh, that's that bloody Freudian slur. Real Freudian slur. I drink it in a champagne glass. That's how I drink it. Your temple is currently riddled with scaffolding and lots of drop sheets and do not enter signs. You've got that rap all over you as well. Yeah, I've been rapped. You've been rapped because of... It's a long project.

A lot of sound of clinky bottles back there, though. A lot of loose screws discarded on the floor. So, I guess what are the options? He's out of a can, straight out of a can. What? And if you're an adult that does this, you need to stop immediately. Yeah. It's just opening the can a smidge and then sucking the top.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, always full. You know when they, sometimes if you're an event and they sell you a can, they half kind of crack it? Yeah. No. No. Crack the whole thing or pop the hole.

If you're an adult, even if you're, my children have never done it. Yep. And I remember kids used to do it at school. Crack it open just a little bit and just pour like, sip amounts into the ring of the can and then go. Yep. I used to do that. You like do that and then be like.

That is not an option. So what? It's always got to be ice cold. From a can. From a can. From a glass bottle. Glass bottle.

It's just something about something about it. Like if you're doing a Coke out of a can and a glass bottle, it's just always better out of the glass bottle. As long as it's icy cold.

No. As long as it's icy cold. I don't agree. It's too small. It's too small an exit point and you're constantly dealing with the bubbles

because air's got to get in to let it out and when it's full and you're drinking out of a glass bottle the opening's too small and it goes

and it fizzes too much nah you prefer a bigger hole a big hole okay pour it into a glass with some ice and let it sit

yeah glass with ice and a straw plastic or a glass with ice ice and let it sit. Yeah, glass with ice. And a straw. Or a glass with ice and straw. It's got to be plastic, not paper. We won't even indulge. Or fountain mix. Macca's fountain mix.

As long as the fountain mix, wherever you're getting the fountain mix is like, now what can I throw at her that's going to send a message without hurting her? Because I will not have fountain mix mentioned. I love fountain mix is like... Now, what can I throw at her that's going to send a message without hurting her? Because I will not have fountain mix mentioned. I love fountain mix. I like it when you leave it in your car and it seeps through the bottom.

No, but when the ratio's right. The ratio's never right. But sometimes, you know, they're getting out of gas or they're getting out of syrup. I like that. I like it when you do your own and it's like,

oh, I'm going to mix. I'm going to put a bit of LMP in it. A bit of raspberry. I love it. No. I'm going to put a bit of LMP in it. A bit of raspberry. I love it. No. I would go, I will never forget, I can't even say the word, but when I was in India, so many places had signs that would say, not Coke, but a word very close to Coke, Coke with glass.

Glass. Yeah. Right. And that was the way you would order a Coke. And it meant Coke with ice. Right. Wait, wait, that's how they say. In. Yeah. Right. And that was the way you would order a Coke. And it meant Coke with ice. Right. Wait. Wait, that's how they say.

In a glass. Yeah, they say with glass. Okay. Right. With glass means with ice. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know.

But they'd spell it. C-O-C-K. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. Okay, fine. That's a completely different thing. Yeah. Which I've had.

That with glass. I think they're otherwise known as kidney stone. However way to say it. I would go, for me, I would go number three is fountain mix. You have to respect me after saying that. Number two, I'm going to go from the can. There's something about cracking a can. Yep.

And number one, I'm going to go from the can. There's something about cracking a can. Yep. And number one, I'm going Coke with glass. Yeah, same. With ice. I'd agree. I'd agree, though. Those are my ways. That's number one. Yep. And a wide-mouthed glass. I just can't, the small... Yeah, wide-mouthed glass. Yeah. A pint glass. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With some ice in it. That's number one. With a straw, though. And a plastic straw. Not a plastic straw. No, plastic straw. Not a plastic straw. No, it has to be a plastic straw. No straws. No straws. I'm bringing back the plastic straw. I'm sick of these cardboard straws.

You've got to get the corn product straws. I haven't been offered a corn product straw. The bio straws. They're not cardboard. Okay. They're made of corn by-product or something. They hold their integrity for a little longer, but they break down.

Yeah, right. That's the straw for me. Because I'm reversing. I know everybody's all about the environment. I'm done with it. I'm done with it. It's done with us, to be fair. What you're saying is you gave minimal effort

and nothing else changed. Nothing is changing. The sea water in Florida is as hot as a spa. And you've been drinking through paper straws for what? I've been washing out my tin cans. Nothing's changed. Have you been washing all your recycling? You don't have to be washing your recycling energy. He puts his

soft plastics in with his hard plastics, meaning the whole load has to be dumped. Just saying nothing's changing, so why bother? Also, I don't have kids, so I'm like, there's not a lot of skin in the game for me. What, so you're just going to burn through this earth and disappear and be like, meh.

Scorched earth policy. We were just talking about our favourite wars before. It worked fantastically with the Russians in World War II. Retreat and burn. Producer Carl Wynn's period is on its way. Wow, okay, well. Okay. Yeah, wow.

And she knows that. Hear ye, hear ye. Carwin is about to menstruate. Well, I guess you wanted the whole country to know. Look, it's just something I was thinking about. I didn't think we'd actually go there. Well, the reason you know this. And we're doing a special long weekend group too.

We are, yeah. So everyone, one, two, one, two, three, one, two, three, four. But the reason you know this, because a lot of people are like, well, you know, like, you know, because of the calendar. Not always how bodies work. No. So you know, because you like, you get drawn towards a song. Yeah.

So I always get a little bit of extra road rage. Yeah. And a song by one of my favourite bands, 1975, I always want to listen to it. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to pop that song on. And then you're like, oh, no. And then I'm like, oh. And? I'm going to pop that song on. And then you're like, oh, no. And then I'm like, oh.

And then it actually dawns on you. Like, you have no idea that, wow, okay. I know what you mean. The body, like, tells you to do something. And then you're like, oh. And sometimes it doesn't even hit you until it arrives and you see it and you're like, ah, okay. 100%.

Now things are making sense. I wonder what mine would be. Yeah. Shannon, do you have a sign that it's on the way? I'm not the most regular galley, but it's definitely like, I want to put on a sad movie and cry. Yeah, right. I want to feel what I want to feel.

Yeah. And then I feel it too hard. Yeah. And then you're like, uh-huh. Look at producer Jared, just like. The midi, does the midi have a signal that maybe you recognise? Kind of. So Georgia Burt from The Day Show,

she starts her cycle three days before the midi. Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. Jared's not a perv. Georgia is very vocal. She's very vocal about it. And so that's your warning that it's... Yeah, in three days, buckle up. Nice, nice.

Mine is, because I'm very irregular, probably get a couple a year, thanks to PCOS, but mine will be just the most unreasonable bitchiness towards Aaron. And I can feel like I want to be mean, like I want to hurt him. It's awful, but there's something where you're like, I sort of want to make you upset. And like I want to hurt him. It's awful. But there's something where you're like, I sort of want to make you upset.

And then I'll leave, and then like a couple of days later I'll be like, oh, man, and I'll say, I'm so sorry, I just got my period. He'll be like, yeah, I know. Like, I know, because I can see in your eyes that that was coming. It feels like revenge, right? Yeah, it does. I feel horrible, so everyone needs to. It's like you've wronged me.

Yeah. He doesn't get this, so he needs to it's like you've wronged me yeah he doesn't get this so he needs to feel yeah i know i know see maybe it would be nicer if you just had a song like carwin yeah it would be nicer it'd be nicer for aaron in particular but instead it is i just like look at him and i think i'm gonna bully you a bit isn't that awful it's horrible it's awful thank you for taking that on aaron and not us. Yeah, I know, I know. Thank you for that. Luckily, like, he can, we've been together long enough now that he knows what's coming. Yeah.

Anyway, I thought we could do a little share, make Carwin feel better. Maybe we'll sync up the nation. What is your sign that your period is on its way? Or if you don't menstruate, what's your partner's sign? How do you know? Do you know with Sade? God, you're going to have three?

Oh, no, he's going to have three in the house. He's going to have three in the house. I feel like you also just put him in quite a situation there. Did you see what you did there? He was scared. He's in the middle now of a field surrounded by World War II landmines, my favourite war. And he's just trying to tiptoe out of here.

Yeah, because you don't want to say... She's like... I don't know. No, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, not all women do behave emotionally or, like, terribly or whatever, but they're maybe a little something,

they would get a bit more cuddly or they get a bit more lethargic. Yeah, I just never... Like being drawn to a certain song or a thing to do. That's fascinating. Okay, well 0800 DALS. Somebody just messaged in rage cleaning. Now I will

have to... Oh, that's a good one. I'll have to check my tracking app. Do you track your wife? I track my wife. Well, I'm going to lay a fiddle at mine. I've got to get out of here. I'm playing Minesweeper with the tracking app I click that one

it says surrounded by four I'm like well not that way but it's almost like a sort of a nesting like you are you're going like I've got to get this freaking house

and then when it arrives you're like thank god the house is tidy now I'm going to just hop into bed and weather the storm right 0800 DARS at M

we want you to give us a call now. You can text 9696. How do you know your period's on its way? What signs? What are the signs? Far out. Someone just texted. This is for Vaughan.

My family was five girls and mum and mum. We all clocked up together. My dad and brother had to leave the house. They synced up. Far out. This is why I want to build my bunker. Yes. The period bunker. So, yeah. And I just go leave the house. They synced up. Far out. This is why I want to build my bunker. Yes. A period bunker. So, yeah. And I just go to the bunker. Carwen has been drawn

to a certain song. Which is a sign that her cycle is about to kick off. And she's about to get her period. And we want to know what is a sign that you or your partner are about to get their period. I'm learning a lot. I wonder if same-sex female couples sync up. Because it's a real thing. Like dominant ovaries will pull your cycle towards them.

And you just, you're not the only one. Alpha ovaries. That would be so interesting. Mel and Sami, she's got alpha ovaries. Does she? Everybody syncs to her. She's got big alpha ovaries. Yeah, she's got big alpha ovaries.

Alpha over-energies. No, I can't say it. I'm a mum. Alpha ovary energies. Yeah. You're one of these people that gets mean. I get mean, man say it. Hold on, hold on. Alpha ovary energies. Yeah. You're one of these people that gets mean. I get mean, man, and I'm not the only one. No, a lot of people getting mean.

Yeah. Let's take some calls. Jackie, what's the sign? Kia ora. Kia ora. I'm a preschool teacher. Yeah. And about three days before I'm due,

I get really frustrated when the children continuously, like, touch my arms and my legs. Specifically the arms and the legs? Yeah, specifically. Right, and so, and do you kind of forget that it's coming and you're just like, why am I being so frustrated? Get off me! Pretty much.

Yeah, I get frustrated, like, during the day, and then, like, that night I'll go home and I'll be like, what's going on? And my daughter starts, like, climbing over me. She's one. And, like, I'll be like, what is going on? And my daughter starts climbing over me. She's one. And I'll be like, what is going on? And then three days later, sure enough, there it is.

And you're like, oh, that's why I don't like these kids. Imagine all the kids are like, Mrs. Jackie's got a big gator period. Yeah. Touch her legs. I don't know what I'm explaining. Jackie, thanks. You're called Jamie.

What's the sign that it's coming? Hi, guys. Mine is caramel sauce from McDonald's. Oh, yum. Do they do caramel sauce? Oh, of course. Just straight show sponsor. By the way,

treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. I've said that several times. Let me pay some bills around here, mate. I'm more than happy to chip in. Just the sauce or with some soft serve? I want just the sauce but I'll eat the soft serve.

Yeah, because a bit of shame rocking up to the drive-thru saying, can I just have a container of caramel sauce? Yeah. To deal with like

the looks and stuff. Do you do the top and bottom though? I always ask for like the bottom. You've got to have the ice. Yeah, double.

Yeah, deluxe. You prefer a bottom, do you? Sauce on the bottom. Well, sauce on the top. I like both. You both. Vers have the ice. Yeah, double. Yeah, deluxe. You prefer a bottom, do you? Sauce on the bottom. Well, sauce on the top. I like both. You both. Versatile.

Versatile sundaes. Yeah. Jamie, thanks for your call. Let's go to Courtney. Courtney, what's a sign that it's coming? I crave the Copper Kettle Sea Salt Chip. Yeah, they're good chips, man. Good.

They're crunchy, almost overcooked. They are just the best. Right. I've tried others, but it just doesn't hit right. Yeah, yeah, right. Does it, like, fall into places that click, or do you just need them? And then you're like, oh, that's right.

Yeah, no, I realise after I've eaten, like, the first bag. Yeah. Oh, yeah, right. There we go. Better get ready. Better get ready. Thanks for your call. Now, we do have a brave male that's called.

Carl joins us. Good morning, Carl. Hi, how am I? Yeah, good morning. Good morning. This is a safe space, Carl. You're safe to speak. Do not believe a word this woman says, Carl.

I am in a very safe space. She's about 200 kilometres away from me today. Yeah, gorgeous. Okay, and she can't hear? She can't hear? I hope not. What is the sign that your wife or your partner is about to menstruate? She starts to get a bit of a breakout on her chin,

just two or three. Oh, no, Carl. No, no, no, no, Carl. It's not. This is a fake name. I hope you don't point those out. No, no, Carl. No, no, no, no.

You're telling the nation about it, Carl. So do you tell her or it's just for you? I just give it to myself. But after that, she's always hankering for a big steak as well. Yeah, man. Okay. We're low on iron. We're about to bleed.

You've got to do what you've got to do. We've got to stock up. Wow. Okay, so you know just a couple of little chin pimples. Oh, my God, you're so spot on. You're brave. You're brave. Thank you so much, Carol.

Chelsea, good morning. You can confirm, as a same-sex couple, sinking. Good morning. Yes, I can. Now, did you change? Who had the alpha ovaries? Me, of course. Yeah, big lesbian energy here

If we talk to the other one she'll tell us the same thing Yeah, yeah, yeah No, I get rage and super depressed and my girlfriend gets sad and super hungry and so it's just a real big mess

What a household A sad household eating lot Sad and hungry But at least it's at the same time I guess real big men. What a household. What a household. A sad household eating lots. Sad, angry, hungry. But at least it's at the same time, I guess. Well, yeah. Yeah, I guess. Just a bad week. Just right off the week.

Just right off the week. Well, also, mine's only three days and hers is a week. So then she gets really angry at me. How are you getting it all done in three days? Because I'm efficient. Alpha ovaries. She pushes. Alpha ovaries.

Lesbians are so efficient. They're so efficient, man. Three days. Chelsea, thanks for your calls and messages. I just want to provide my own soundtrack for this part of the reading, if I may, sir. Absolutely. This is just in memoriam for all the males listening.

Same for all the eggs that we release each month. No, no, no. My partner just mentioned that he knows my period is close because I turn into a real big bully and he just takes it. Oh. Yeah. And we are so sorry. My partner just said good morning.

Cute on any other morning, except today. And now I know why. My partner just bravely said, as we're listening to your show, I know yours about to start because you get real farty. Oh, yeah, man. He's dead now. He's no longer with us. He's not with us.

R.I.P., mate. Just before my partner gets hers, this person has a snack. They have their own snacks. Okay. And she'll eat all the snacks and then get very angry at him that he had snacks in the house. Yeah. R.I.P. R.I.P.

He's not with us now, I'm assuming, again? He's no longer with us. Okay. No longer with us. My partner just said, it's like, now that's bad. Yeah. He laughed and then said,

it's like when you tell me off for putting things in the wrong shelf on the fridge. I just know it's coming. It's coming. Yeah, because for the other weeks of the month, that doesn't happen. She doesn't even care. She doesn't care about the fridge.

No. And in my final act on this radio show, I'd like to say I asked Sade if she has any. And she said, you're a constant clutter and mess, but I feel like this is all the time. And then sent me a picture of the end of the bench saying, clean this shit up when you get home.

It's on its way. It's on its way. It was nice knowing you guys. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn And Hayley Yesterday I was at the supermarket

I ran into Hayley at the supermarket You did Was that weird? She's one of those people That wears earpods In the supermarket I do too I just tune out

I just don't want to Talk to anyone And then Yeah I just listen I was listening to What was I listening to? I can't even remember now It was a big It was a heavy rock song I was rocking out I was rocking to, what was I listening to? I can't even remember now. It was a big, it was a heavy rock song.

I was rocking out. I was rocking out, man. In the produce department. And then I saw her again. She was lingering by the wine part. Yeah, yeah. She was like, well, we are surprising you here. Yeah.

Do you know, I was at the supermarket because last night I made Aaron a cottage pie because I'm going away for the weekend. You're doing the Australian version of what's that show? Have You Been Paying Attention? You don't need to say the Australian version anymore. You just need to say Have You Been Paying Attention?

Well, he might get he might get confused and think I'm going over to Cyprus because I've got a version too. The Cyprus. If you get onto the Cyprus version

of Have You Been Paying Attention I will be very impressed. But I had to. I had to make Aaron a cottage pie otherwise he won't eat. And then Vaughan told me when I told him this, I will be very impressed. But I had to. I had to make Aaron a cottage pie, otherwise he won't eat. And then Vaughan told me when I told him this that I'm like his mum.

I've become an old woman. Well, my mum does this mumming him. If mum goes away very rarely without dad, she'll leave. Yeah. She'll leave food. I think my mum just says, oh, dad'll be fine.

He's a good boy. Yeah, your dad's like takeaways capable. My dad's just like... Not takeaways capable. Yeah. Okay. It made me really happy. And then Aaron came in, he was like, oh, something to's just like. Not takeaways capable. Yeah. Okay. It made me really happy. And then Aaron came in.

He was like, oh, something to look forward to. I mean, isn't that nice? That's what my dad says. You are momming him. Oh, something to look forward to. Wow. Oh, God. So I got a shopping list.

One kumara, one leek, onion soup mix, brownie for the girls' lunch. What are you making? I don't know. Brownie. That was vegetable gratin, Chardé's vegetable gratin, which is just like... Okay.

Beautiful. So good. If she was going away for a week and I'd hope she'd leave me some. Now I get to, I pick up one kumara, orange. We discuss the kumara and at the moment,

orange is your best bet because it's smoother. Red's too hard to get the most out of, like clean properly. Orange is my favourite. No, purple's my favourite, but I'm eating orange at the moment. Okay.

Purple roasts better. Orange does a bit soft. Right. But we're slicing this one. Anyway, I get to the checkout and I self-checkout and I weigh it and it's 500 gram kumara that cost me $6.35 for one kumara. Now, I'm blown away at that stage because we looked, didn't we, to see which was cheaper when we were at the kumara and the, I'm blown away at that stage because we looked, didn't we, to see which was cheaper

when we were at the kumara and the price wasn't listed per kilogram. $12 a kg. Now, I am very well aware that kumara farmers, growers have been through it. Yeah, man. The cyclone wiped out

something like 75 to 80% of New Zealand's kumara stock. That's bad for the kumara. I love the kumara chips. Very bad for the kumara chips. That's bad for the kumira. I love the kumira chips. Very bad for the kumira chips. It's going to make those more expensive and harder to get. So I completely understand that the farmers have been through it. And this isn't an attack on the growers.

I'm a huge horticulture, agriculture fan. I feel there is an attack coming for someone, though. What I want to know is, how much is the supermarket passing on to the farmers who have supplied them with produce for ages? Yeah.

That they've gouged? Like, aren't their markups up to 400%? I would have thought when an industry that is crucial to New Zealand has been through it, these guys...

The nice supermarkets. The nice supermarkets might be a little bit like we can afford to... through it, these guys, the nice supermarkets, might be a little bit like, we can afford to pass more to you this time. And I know that is naive of me to say. Like I'm some sort of goddamn communist. But I just, and I ranted and my wife put it up because she's like, here he goes. I did see the stories last night.

And said, oh, we lost a lot of the crop. And I was like, I completely understand. I want to know how much they're paying you per kg because they can easily say, you know how hard it was for the kumara growers this year, $12 a kg. But I want to see the maths of how much is going back to these guys who have been through it, who are now – everybody's like, well, I can't afford to buy it. So now this stuff's not getting bought.

Well, people that supply supermarkets are famously not happy. No. In fact, sometimes they're too scared to speak out. $15 per kg for Kuma and Christchurch. That's what people said. The further south you go, the more expensive it gets. We're close to Dargaville.

We're only three hours away. And shout out to my mother's hometown, Dargaville. Beautiful place. Right. But, man, they've had a hell of a... Well, I think you might have to go to Potatoes then. I haven't not been to Potatoes. You know I love my carbohydrates.

I know you love your potatoes. But I love my sweet taties. I love my kumara. Might have to be rice. Well, I'm heading north this weekend. So if I see a roadside stall... Yeah, get me a bag. I'll get everybody a bag.

Go straight to the source. Oh, I buy it up there for a low price, and I come back and I sell it exorbitantly. Don't be a pig. Wait, now that's just what this... God, I've become the exact thing I despise! Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Anyway, yesterday we talked about Bumble releasing a side app just for friends.

Now, they used to have like a tab within the dating app if you were just looking for friends. But it was a bit dodgy. Bit of a dodgy cover-up for people that were like... Yeah, Karwin said that's what she was doing to like find friends a few years ago. Yeah, and Ryan was a bit like, well, you know, what are we doing here?

No, that was the boyfriend before Ryan. Oh, pre-Ryan, so I didn't know. Oh, my gosh. She will have to get a new boyfriend, though, because her current boyfriend's favourite war is the Vietnam War. Which is extremely embarrassing. I told him that you said it had to be World War II, and he said, that's for basic bees. Oh, excuse me.

World War I, scrappy. They had no idea what they were doing. If it's a desert storm, I would have had more respect for them. So did you find friends using Bumble Friends back in the day? Yeah, like a couple of girls that I'd say online friends. You know, like you follow each other on Instagram. How yuck is it meeting online friends in real life? I do not like it.

I do not like it at all. Oh, I love it. No, I do not like it. Or is it yuck or weird? No, it's yuck. I do not like it. Why? I owe you. You belong on the internet. Yeah, you're not real. You don't be real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I do not like it. Or is it yuck or weird? No, it's yuck. I do not like it. Why? You belong on the internet.

Yeah, you're not real. You don't be real. Yeah, yeah. You don't be real. Right. But you were looking for friends because you'd, what, is this when you just moved to Auckland? Yeah, yeah.

Right, okay. And it was like new and I think I wrote an article about it on CDM. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah. Well, a lot of people are doing it because it is hard to make friends as an adult. If you don't want to make friends within the workplace, which I mean when I started working here, I said straight out the gate, stay the hell out of my life.

I'll turn up. I'll be here from 5 till 10 max. Yeah, and then now you're inviting us to your house all the time. Yeah, because I love you guys. You walked into my heart. But I want to know when you made an adult friend and how you did it. Because it's hard, right? It's hard, man. And also

like things draw you to other places. Work takes you to new cities or new countries or boyfriends, partners, whatever. You move and you've got to start again, start building friends. Or like your friends just fall away and they do. And then, you know, you can't just live your adult life with no friends as much as Vaughn tries.

We will always be there. We do. We will always be there. No, you've got quite good solid groups of friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not looking to make new ones. Thank you for all the inquiries. I've got a lesbian waiting with them all along.

Oh, come on. You need a few more of those. You can't just keep hanging out with Ursula and Madeline. I mean, those are top tier lesbians. They are top tier. They're somees are top tier lesbians. They are top tier. They're some of our proudest lesbians. We want to know how you made an adult friend. What was the circumstances

around it? I find these stories so cute. Yeah, me too. Because they're non-romantic. They're just wholesome. They're just wholesome. Like maybe you started a new sport or a hobby. Maybe you went to like a mums and bubs thing, you know? Yeah. Mums and bubs gym class. I never went to a parent thing or a hobby. Maybe you went to like a mums and bubs thing, you know? Yeah. Mums and bubs gym class. Never went to a parent thing

that I liked. Getting lame parents. Yeah. But like when you're asking someone to like do a new friend to do new friend things, it can be as like

nerve wracking as like asking someone out. Hell yeah, because when you're a kid it's so natural. Like we haven't learned all these social filters yet so you're just like,

I like you, let's go on the swings and now we're best friends for life and we've got matching tattoos 30 years later, you know? Yeah.

That's my story with Jess but as an adult it's so much harder and so much more complicated so we want to know, 0800 dial ZDM, text 9696, how did you make

an adult friend? We want to know how you made a friend as an adult. Not as a kid, not as a child, not someone you'd brought with you along your whole life, but a new friend you've made. Where did you meet?

How did you do it? How did you approach it? It's hard. Yeah, well, this is why Bumble's got their new app, which is just for friends. Finding friends in your local area. Stand alone, so it's not going to look dodgy when you're using the app.

Not at all. In the app, yes. It's really stuffed me up. Lex, good morning. Morning. How are you doing? Good. How did you make an adult friend?

So I'm from the States. I moved here a number of years ago, and when I got here, I didn't have a job. So I walked into a local Irish pub and said to the very sort of intimidating Irish general manager there, a woman, and I said, I'm actually potentially looking for a job, you know, being the naive American that I was. She, I didn't realize, hated Americans and looked at me with disgust and basically said, well, are you looking for a job or are you potentially looking for a job? And that ended up being the start of the most amazing friendship.

She and I ended up getting on like a house on fire. And it made me think when Haley said matching tattoos, because we do in fact now have matching tattoos. Do you? Oh, my God. Wow. So she now lives in Wellington. But one of the promises we'd always made to each other was that one day we would walk together barefoot, pregnant, on the beach. That was kind of like our dream.

And after probably eight or nine years of both of us struggling really, really hard out with getting pregnant with our partners, we both ended up falling pregnant at the same time. Yes! Pregnant, barefoot on the beach together. Oh, my God, I love this. I love this. It was meant to be.

It really was. Yeah. You talk about like a really terrible situation when I first walked into that bar. Wow. She calls me out. She's like, ooh, Americans. No thanks. And frankly, I did not even remotely blame her. Yeah.

No, honestly, how much better is New Zealand than America? I mean, I'm very happy you're here. I'm here, yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Lexi, thank you. Some messages in. I made very happy you're here. I'm here, yeah. Yeah, amazing. Lexi, thank you. Some messages in. I made a new friend on Instagram.

I grow and sell flowers, and she purchased some two years ago, and we started chatting. Such a cool chick. I am pleased our paths have crossed. Wait, so friends in real life or Instagram friends? Friends in real life. Well, that's cool. And you've got cheap flowers?

There's a few, like, because we've got our renovation account. There's a few other renovating couples in New Zealand and we chat and I'm like, I feel like we could have dinner. Really? Yeah, I feel like we could have dinner. No, every now and then I'll see someone that I've talked to online and I see them and I'm like, not in real life, and I turn. What do you do?

Avoid them. They avoid them. They're imaginary people that only exist on my phone. Steph, how did you make an adult friend? I finished my beauty therapy course When I was a lot younger Way back in my former life And I needed someone

To do work on me So I went searching for a new beautician To wax my bit Of course And I found her And she was super awkward and I was super awkward and it was just a match made. And she can't not be my friend now because she just knows too much.

She's seen everything, hasn't she, Steph? God, I'm not friends with everyone who's seen everything down there, to be fair, though. She has seen everything. Yeah, they get in there, don't they? They really get in there. But after she'd seen everything and, you they get in there, don't they? They really get in there. But after she'd seen everything and, you know, done her work,

were you just like, well, maybe we should go for a drink now? Well, yeah, I kind of said to her, look, there's a bar up the road. I don't drink, but there's a bar up the road. Should we go for a lunch and talk about my bits? We asked her to talk about your bits. We'll analyse them.

And was she like, okay? Yeah, she was like, absolutely. And then she ordered the mussels and you're like, oh. Oh, no, yeah. I can't. I can't. And so you've been friends ever since? Yeah.

Oh, wow. It's been, I'm 38 now and I graduated when I was 18. Wow. That is awesome. Adult friends. Adult friends. I'm 38 now and I graduated when I was 18. Wow. That is awesome. Adult friends. Adult friends. You've jumped in.

You've seen everything right from the start. So why not? Jumped literally in. That's beautiful. Steph, thanks for your call. Some more messages. I went for my glucose tolerance test when I was pregnant. You have to stay at the lab for two hours. There was another lady there who was waiting for her test results.

Oh, they suck. I struck up a conversation. We talked for the full two hours and then she gave me a ride home. We have so much in common and we were both so nervous to ask for each other's details on that day, but I'm sure glad we did.

Oh, my God, look at those tests. It sounds like you're in like friend love. Yeah. I made friends with a couple of mums from my son's sports teams. I'm now part of their wider friend group. Yeah. You've been invited in.

Kids would be a good way to make friends. No. It's like've been invited in. Kids would be a good way to make friends. No. It's like an absolute shock horror. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you the only kids at school? Have you made some other mum friends? You're going to read?

I don't understand. You've got to watch their awful games. They can't even kick properly. Oh my god, they're so dumb. They're so dumb and you've got to watch their awful games. They can't even kick properly. Oh, my God. They're so dumb. They're so dumb, and you've got to stand there for, like, what, hours? I know. When they do kick it. It's like...

It's so soft. You don't kick it. Kicks the ball like I told you. Come on, Philippe. Most of my friends I met at the gym. Oh, no. Oh, no. What, you go eat chicken breasts together?

Best bet is a niche gym like powerlifting or weightlifting or something with a real community vibe. I feel like we're about to be sold F45. Here it is, F45. When you spend four to five days a week there, it just happens naturally. I don't talk to a goddamn person when I go to the gym. I'm happy to watch my shows.

You watch your shows and do your workout. And sweat out my sins. Shout out to the person who made friends in jail. Besties six years on. They were cellmates for nine months. Cellmates? I mean, that's like an arranged marriage, isn't it? Yeah.

It's a force together. You'd have to become friends. Yeah. No matter how long your sentence was, you'd have to be like, right, it's important that you and I get along. I'd be a real judgmental criminal, though. You'd be like, what are you in for? Yeah. And they'd be like, tax evasion.

You'd be like, I can get on board with that. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm kind of okay. I'm more okay with that because my last cellmate was a murderer. Yeah.

Not my cup of tea. Badass. How dare he. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Did you notice this morning I did a little bit of girl maths? Yes.

I'm off to Melbourne today and me and Aaron went on a bit of a date last night. I had a few wines and came home. Yeah. And I packed my bag for Melbourne and I haven't put on anything warm. I've got no jacket. No jacket. So she's in her mind already purchased one when she gets to Melbourne and justified it. Yeah.

Using girl maths. Do you know how much money I could lose if I get sick? Because I've got gigs next week. We're working avoidable losses into Girlmates now. So if I got to Melbourne, it's not super warm in Melbourne. I get to Melbourne, I get cold, I get sick, right? So then I'm taking some time off of work. Now this show takes a dip.

I'm not here. And I appreciate that you guys... A dip that we may never recover from. Someone who might want to do a big massive $50,000 promotion with our show might listen in and be like, it's missing something. Now, I've lost this company money. Yeah. Right?

Not only that, but I'm on the project next week. I'm doing voiceovers next week. If I don't do those things, now I'm losing money. So you're saying that whatever this... I'm losing more money than the jacket would cost. That's girl maths. Girl maths. So if you need us to... I get a new jacket from a Melbourne shop. Woo, woo, woo, woo, then the jacket would cost. That's girl maths. Girl maths. So if you need us to...

I get a new jacket from a Melbourne shop. Coming up on the show, we're going to do girl maths. If you would like us to justify a purchase that you have made or you're considering, the girls here are at the producer's booth and you yourself, Hayley. Well, girl maths it. Yeah, Vaughan and I will just in awe look at how, again, girl maths works. If you missed it yesterday, a woman bought a. Yeah, Vaughan and I were just in awe. Look at how, again, Girl Maths works.

If you missed it yesterday, a woman bought a $1,000 tote bag from Deadly Ponies. We Girl Mathed it to the point that Deadly Ponies was actually paying her to have the bag. And she had bought four bags because they're versatile. Without even knowing it. It's impressive to watch Girl Maths work. If you'd like to take part in Girl Maths soon, we're going to do it in about 10, 15 minutes, text in 9696 and we could help you out with your Girl Maths. We'll go and ask it, mate.

Right now, though, time for... FACT OF THE DAY, DAY, DAY, DAY, DAY. Yeah. Okay, I hope you're ready to feel sick because we've been lied to for so long. Why? Microwaves. Okay. Love them.

I had breakfast mints. Yeah, you did have breakfast mints. Are you about to tell me that I could have been staring into the microwave this whole time? Not going to go that far. Okay. You're telling me that I could put my fork in there this whole time? Some new ones you can.

Yeah, new ones you can put in metal dishes. I've got a metal one. You can put a bit of metal in there. Must be nice. Must be nice. Yeah, it's built in too. Oh! I've got to think every time I open my microwave.

Why? Vaughn, are you putting metal in there? No, you're not. Any old dish. Any old dish or fork in there. Come on, Vaughn. Not again. Wait, so you could reheat last night's dinner,

leave the fork in there, open. Does the fork get hot? Does the fork cook? I haven't used it. I'm too scared. Okay, fair enough. I'll be scared too. Report back.

Oh, I'm too scared. Next time you reheat some mints. Okay. Today's fact of the day about my microwaveaves made me go, you're kidding me. Okay. Wow. You know how you can be like, microwave 50% of the- Yes.

High is just like default. You put it on and you press go. Like when you need the butter for your baking in the mixer, you need it softened, but you don't want it runny because you can't put runny butter in it. But I just do high for shorter. No, I do like a power 30 for like, yeah, and then it makes it nice and soft. So you knock it down to 30% power. Or 50, and I'll

keep a real eye on it. Wild. What are you about to tell me? That Hayley is basically doing exactly what you're doing. Because when you put a microwave on 50% power and put it on for a minute, it just means that the actual microwave is only doing 30 seconds work. But it's doing 5 seconds on, 5 seconds off.

5 seconds on, 5 seconds off. Wait, so it's not powering down? It is not. It's not less power. It can't. That's not how microwaves work. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

If you put it in for a minute and put it on 30%, it'll only actually be heating for 20% of the time, but it's still at 100% of the heat. But that's still better than going... No, it's not. No, it's not. It's the same thing. You're just waiting long.

If she just puts it in, if you put it in for 20 seconds at 50% and Hayley just puts it in for 10 seconds, she's just saved herself 10 seconds. So I'm better with my butter just to put it on full power for like 10 seconds. Five seconds.

Yeah, right. Wow. I did not know this. You can't change how much microwaving you're doing. It's just how much is done over a certain

period of time. I cannot believe this. So this is why this is why when you defrost something like mints, it's not defrosting it.

It's just cooking it. It's just cooking it hard and then taking a little break. But it keeps spinning because if you see it, it stops spinning. You're like, it's finished, but it's not. So this is purely cosmetic. Oh, my God. I feel like the defrost function is just basically running it at 10%.

You put it on for a minute. It's just over the course of that minute, blasting it for six seconds. Why? I thought it was why if you've got a frozen slab of mince, which I'm often defrosting, that'll take like 20 minutes. Correct. Because it's not doing it the whole time. I thought it was slow cooking it.

Why hasn't this been more of an issue? Why haven't we taken the microwave industry to the Hague or something? For their war crimes against mints. Yeah, exactly. Leaving cooked mints on the outer. I know. This is outrageous. This is why when I read it, I was just like, this can't be right.

But I'm looking, it is. But what about those microwaves that have like a button for fish, a button for curry, a button for pasta, a button for the... BS. It's all BS. It's a fat load of BS. Of BS. And I've been gobbling it up for years.

We've all been spoon fed a bunch of BS. Yeah. That's been in the microwave for a minute, even though it's only been cooking for 20 seconds because you haven't put it on 30% power. So today's fact of the day is that microwaves don't have half power. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Well, over the last couple of weeks, we've been putting people in the draw. We've been writing names on boarding passes. Yes. To some incredible destinations with American Airlines, the network that takes you more places. And we've got some great news. Olivia, good morning. Hi, how are you?

We're really good. I believe we've called you in the middle of your classroom. You're a teacher. Yep, guys, turn down the radio, please. Hi. Hi. I'm with my entire class. Hi, class.

Hi, class. Can the class say good morning? No, they're going to say good morning, Mr. Fletcher. Good morning, Mr. Smith. And good morning, Ms. No, they're going to say good morning, Mr. Fletcher, good morning, Mr. Smith, and good morning, Spinster Sprout. No, Miss Sprout. No, no, Ms. or Spinster. Just get them to say good morning, FVH.

Morning, FVH. Good morning, FVH. Oh, my God, they're so cute. Did your ovaries just tingle? Oh, my God, I'm releasing an egg as we speak. Holy hell. Olivia, this is great. And, look, I know that teachers always work during the school holidays,

but this is great because you've got a few holidays coming up. It's non-contact time. We work through the school holidays. What's a holiday? What's a holiday? She's read that straight out of the Union Handbook. Yeah. Olivia, would you like to take a holiday to Montreal?

Guys, would I like to go to Montreal? Yeah! Good, because you're going! Congratulations. Well done. I could hear which ones are going to play up when the reliever's there. I could hear it. You can hear it already.

I can hear it. All thanks to American Airlines. You're going to be flying nonstop to Dallas-Fort Worth, where you can connect to more than 250 destinations in North America, Canada, Mexico, and the Caribbean. You'll be on from Dallas-Fort Worth to Montreal and Canada. Congratulations. Thank you so much.

Man, teachers, they deserve a holiday. I hope you have the best time, man. Okay. I will. Oh, you're so cute. Don't show weakness in front of the children. Don't show weakness. They'll pounce.

They'll pounce, Olivia. I'll take you down. Olivia, how's your French? Because I was surprised having been in Montreal like years ago, it's like way more French than I expected. Like everything's in French. I'm about to teach it, so I'm going to have to do the lessons in advance. Okay, great.

She's going to just dip her toe in. Well, fantastic. Bonjour. Je voudrais un glass of wine, please. And je voudrais a beautiful meal. Done. I can say like wheat and baguette. Yeah, beautiful.

That's all you need. That's all you need. Congratulations, Olivia, and thank you to American Airlines, the network that takes you more places. Have a blast. Flying as well, so non-stop back to LA as well. We've gone rogue with something that happened yesterday. We did a bit of girl math. Now,

Carwin wants to get her hair done, and Shannon was like, Shannon girl mathed her and worked out how basically she's getting it free. And then the three of us were like, yes, I do this all the time, and then we girl math someone's handbag, and now she's getting paid by Deadly Ponies. Don't ask us how it works. And I just, it's amazing to watch, isn't it, Vaughn?

Yeah. Girl math. It's mind-blowing. Well, I'm so excited about it. I'm going to turn it into a segment. I'm going to work on a little intro. Okay. But we're going to give it a soft launch because you know we love a soft launch. We're going to do it with Andrea.

Good morning, Andrea. Good morning. Good morning. Now we asked a few people to text in for their girl maths. Now a lot of girls wanting to buy some stuff or have already purchased things. You want us to justify a $400 purchase? I do.

What are you buying and why? My hairdresser said my hair would look great with some extensions for my wedding. Okay, when's the wedding? About seven weeks away. Congratulations, mine's seven years away. Still waiting. Still waiting.

Well, I wear hair extensions, Andrea. I wear them all the time. I've got very fine hair and not a lot of it. And I buy hair extensions. So I know that, I mean, you've got the human hair, of course. They're expensive. I'm going to be interested to see how this is done because this sounds like an upsell from the hair extensions.

I've already done it. Yeah, right. And this also sounds like an additional cost to an already very expensive day. Yeah, very expensive. It's $400 you could spend on the bar. 100%. You're not going to spend that money on the bar. You don't want it to turn into a cash bar at like nine.

How embarrassing. Can we get the producer girlies on? Because this is a team effort here. I'm looking forward to seeing how it's done. In my head, I've already done this, right? In my head, Andrea's going to say no to these hair extensions. She's going to save the $400, right? Then she's going to have her day.

Everything's perfect. Andrea, I'm going to assume that you've already right? Then she's going to have her day. Everything's perfect. Andrea, I'm going to assume that you've already put a bit of money into this wedding. A little bit, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Now you're going to get, I'm going to say some of that money's gone to a professional photographer. 100%. 100%. That's one of the most important things of the day so you can remember it. Now you're going to get this. You're going to have the best day of your life. Your hair's going to look

amazing, whatever, but you're going to look at these photos and you're inside. You're going to know your hairdresser's voice is going to be like, you would have looked better with a few extra strands of hair on your head. Right? And this is going to eat away at you for, I'm going to say, 10 years. Oh, wow. Until eventually, you're going to do a whole redo on this wedding so you can get new photos done.

Now we're not looking at $400,000, we're looking at $40,000. Yeah. To have another wedding. We're looking at $40,000 to redo the wedding because that hair just looked thin. Yeah, right. Wait a minute. It's a 10-year anniversary.

Yeah, you've got to redo it. 10-year anniversary, you've got to redo it. Can I have a turn? Have a go. This picture's on the wall. Girl, match it. This is a picture

she walks past and sees every single day. Oh, yeah. But you know what? While she sees her thin hair and every time she looks at the photo, there's a feeling of anger.

It ends up leaking into the person that she's beside, her beloved husband. Oh my god, it's going to poison the marriage. And over ten years, the marriage becomes poisoned. All because you didn't spend an extra $400. Then, what happens? You can't stand it anymore, and you separate and you

divorce. But, it also coincides with the fact that your house is now worth less than what you paid for it because we're in another housing dip. There you go. Wow. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. So based on Vaughan's girl mathing here, Andrew, you might as well cancel the wedding.

Because it's going to be... It's the only option. You either spend $400 on hair extensions, which Shannon's got a theory that they're not even $400. You either spend the $400 on the hair extensions or you cancel the wedding and save $40,000. Shannon, how have you girl maths this? Got the calculator out.

It's currently got zero on it. So, $400, right? Yep. Standard hair extensions, great quality. We're talking 10 wefts of hair. So we're already down to four wefts. Are you allowed to say weft on the radio? Not anymore.

It's kind of like the band of hair. You know how you wore a halo? That's one kind of weft. I did wear a halo. I looked great in my halo. If you can't have a halo for a wedding day, you've just got to go full weft. halo? That's one kind of weft. I did wear a halo. I looked great in my halo. If you can't have a halo for a wedding day, she's got to go full weft. We're down to $40 a weft.

Okay. Already significantly better. Then I'm going to say she's going long. I feel like she's a classy girl. Andrea, we're going long? Yes, my hair is very long. Maybe a 28 inch. 28 inch.

So we're going 40 divided by 28 per inch. We're $1.40, baby. You're $1.40 per inch. I reckon, looking at your hair, I reckon it's worth $1.40. That's basically free. Then you think about the retouch aspect that Hayley's doing. We're back in the positives, baby. We're earning money.

A $1.40 is less than the link bus. Exactly. For one sector on the bus. Andrea, you can't not get these hair extensions. It's going to cost you so much money if you don't buy them. Apparently. By my calculations,

conservatively, and I am a conservative man, you either spend $1.40 an inch or it's going to cost you $800,000. Right. Girl mathed. Your hair extensions.

Okay, well it sounds like you're getting the hair extensions then, Andrea. Sounds like I am. Well, have a beautiful wedding day in that case. She will, mathed. Your hair extensions. Okay, well, it sounds like you're getting the hair extensions in, Andrea. Sounds like I am. Well, have a beautiful wedding day in that case. She will, of course. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. That is our show today. Hey, rock on, dudes. What? Rock on, rock out. We're rocking out. Rock and roll weekend. Yeah, just get cray this weekend, I reckon.

You're off to Melbourne to film. Have you been paying attention, the Australian version? Yeah, I'm going to have a humble time. I'm going to hang out with my beautiful brother and his partner and my friend who just had a baby. She's had a baby. You know I'm not on the pill at the moment because it ran out, so hopefully I don't want one after that.

She's out of Yasmin. When are you getting more Yasmin? I can't be bothered. I can't be bothered. I can't be bothered. Could you get a Tiffany and just put some food colouring on it? What's the difference in Yasmin? No, Tiffany made me very irate. No, we can't have Tiffany.

I'm a Yasmin girl. What have you tried, Margaret? I might try Oman again because I did get a lot over there for quite cheap. I thought you meant another one was called Oman. No, Oman. When I went to Oman, Yasmin, which is very expensive in New Zealand, was dirt cheap. I thought you meant another one was called Oman. No, Oman. When I went to Oman, Yasmin, which is very expensive in New Zealand, was dirt cheap.

Really? And I smuggled years of that stuff back into the country and it's all run out. Have a great weekend, everyone. I don't know if I'd trust having a baby to some pharmaceuticals that cost less than a dollar. I don't have a child. Hey, hey, hey.

You've done worse than have a baby on some pharmaceuticals that cost less than a dollar. Remember that time you got a. Hey, hey, hey. You've done worse than have a baby on some pharmaceuticals that cost less than a dollar. Remember that time you got a stiffy the last five days and you saw blue? I told you. Wait a minute. That was, we were in Thailand.

We were all experimenting. You're lucky that didn't fall off. Hey guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it but we have to tell them

to tell others to like it. I would concentrate more on the shitter podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no.

Maybe we won't say no. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, nah. No, but only after ours. Yeah, nah. Nah, don't do that.

And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though.