ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 28th May 2026

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

00.00: Intro 02.30: Dog has two what? 06.45: Six biggest relationship advice 11.10: How to Dad Interview 14.40: Top 6 - Sponsors for the Harbour bridge 19.30: When did you gross yourself out? 31.40: Dr Seany has a crossword question 36.35: Off Campus 42.00: SLP - Do you still make your own playlists? 46.20: What can't someone let go of? 57.20: Fact of the day 1.03.20: Rolly has changed 1.07.40: The challenge 1.10.40: Chris Parker Interview 1.17.55: Do you parents hate your partner? 1.26.05: Not enough for the News News See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network. This is... Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod. Thanks to animates. Making happy happen for pets. Welcome to the show, Fletch Fawn and Haley. Good morning. Joining us soon, we're going to, on the phone,

catch up with How To Dad. Lovely Jordan. For a very good reason. Yeah, kids can. They're doing a great drive at the moment, 20 for 20. So he's all behind that. We're raising money.

It's 20% of our kids that are going without at the moment. Great cause. on the show today, Chris Parker after nine o'clock. Yeah, man, he's everywhere. Did you say, oh no, I was going to do a spoiler alert and I'll shut up. Okay. But celebrity Treasure Island.

Oh, who won? Because he's a past winner. He's a past winner, but his sister was in the final three. That's right, yes. I'll say no more. Well, he's in with us after nine o'clock this morning. The top six, Vaughn? Yeah, there's some sponsorships options. Sponsorship's options. Sponsorships

options. Sponsorses of the chips options. Up for grabs on Auckland Harbourbridge. Oh, okay. Should we chip in? We could totally. Fletch-Worn and H-H-Z-M. The Fletch-Worn and H-Bridge. Yeah, love it.

The H stands for the Fletch-Forn and Harbor Bridge. So what they're sponsoring it? The lights. The light show. There's a light show on it. I'm going to sponsor that. I remember there was a light show years ago, and you chided into the radio, and it corresponded with the lights.

The sound that you heard was the lights. Oh, that's fun. It was really cute. Yeah. That's good. They've lit it up. It looks nice. Yeah, I actually really like a lit-up.

Okay. Harbor Bridge. So do I. We've got the top six people that could sponsor the Harbourbridge Light Show. Love this. Love this. Also, dealer reveal your chance to win cash this morning. Eight o'clock.

The $3.00 briefcase was opened yesterday with Brian Clint, so the lowest price is gone. $3,000 still out there. And those tickets to Olivia Dean have been put back in somewhere. Yeah, I'm looking at case number four from yesterday. Not one back in play. because I've forgotten her name now. Caitlin?

Caitlin opened case number four, got the tickets, but she'd already taken the deal. So she got the cash. It was scanned out. I've given away thousands of dollars so far. I saw that email. Thousands. It wasn't 16,000 so far? Yeah. Something like that.

Well, your chance to win cash 8 o'clock this morning be listening. Next, an Australian dog has gone viral for something. Okay. That it's got two of. The Fletchborn and Haley Big Pod Oh my God The dog is called Willie Wonka Oh

Now this is the dog Three month old Australian Kelpie That has gone viral Because he's got two penises I didn't expect that I thought two tails I thought two tails Yeah

He was surrendered to the animal welfare leg In Queensland on the Gold Coast It was discovered to have diphalia Which is where you are born with the second penis Are they external? You know, sometimes There might be another sort of reproductive thing happening inside, you know, like double vaginas and stuff

Yeah. But most of that's all inside. Am I correct in saying double vaginas are more common? More common. Because it's just a second canal. Oh God, it's always awkward when dogs do the lipstick thing And now there's got two lipstick. So they noticed this dog was the left hind leg,

all the joints were fused that walked very unusually on the left hind leg. and Dr. Laura McNaramara Mara. Perfect. Which is the traditional Australian pronunciation. Removed the entire leg because the penis was actually coming up the leg, technically. God it was a fourth leg. Top of the leg. Fifth really.

Fifth leg. Fifth and a tail. He's a quin pod. So it was non-functional and she said positioned unusually far away from the original. Non-functional is almost worse. I don't know why, but it's just like a limp. Yeah. Dingle dongle.

From the picture I saw, it hung out at full lipstick. Oh, revealed the pink. But non-functional, but yeah. Yuck. It was out there. You can never look at your pet the same after you've seen their lipstick.

Hey. It's weird. You're like, I just, my respect has changed. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't have dogs, but, you know, you see this. That's it.

So when a horse, you like, I can honestly say, I don't think I've seen the lipstick of either of my dogs. Well, that's good because you've obviously got respect for them still. But then I don't like though, if I'm sitting on the deck on the weekend enjoying my morning coffee, they'll eyeball

me as they shit. Now apparently that means they trust me and I'm like watching. You're watching out for them. Yeah, yeah, good. I still don't like the eyeballing. Don't look at me. So what did they do with this? It's been so the leg and the penis

removed and it's been sent to a lab because I guess this is very interesting as it's only the fourth documented case of dophalia in veterinary literature and she's writing it up for a journal In all vet across all animals? It just says in veterinary and literature. Wow, okay.

And in veterinary and literature? It was surrendered to her so now it's in foster care. Oh. So it needs to be adopted. I don't think there's going to be any problem. You should call it Dakey or Richard. Well, it's called Willie Wonka. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's great. Because it had

a wonky Willie. A wonky Willie. It did. So I remember a guy And I've just Googled it 12 years ago. Yeah, this was famous. He did a Reddit AMA. I am the guy with two penises. Ask me anything. And people did.

And it was like, can you use them both at the same time? Do you get erections in both at the same time? And basically it was like, yeah. They're fully functioning dingles. I've seen a photo of them, but I don't know if it's real. Because they were not stacked on top like that. They were side by side. Oh, it says mature.

I can't click on the Reddit AMA because it's mature content. Oh, NZ me. Come on, you're going to log in. I'll message Bogsy and be like, Bogsy. We need to see. His ditch is stacked. We need to see how this double dick because it's just stacked. I don't think you should be emailing the CEO asking for that.

I know. I clicked on the Wikipedia article on Dofailia and had a picture up the top. It was a nice one. See, we're all doing that thing where we're romanticising it. We're all like, yeah. Gives a look. You don't want it. No, I want it.

I can take it. I mean, you're on a hot streak with it, but yes, it's going to put you off to it. Here we go. It's real gross. It's real gross. Far out, what's happened? I wish. I'm not looking.

Fletch die. Don't fletch for the love of God. It'll put you up your pudding, mate. I'm about taking the pudding. I don't need to see that. The Fletch won in Haley. Big Pod. A number of psychologists have come together, mostly

like people that focus on relationships, marriages, that kind of palava, have come together to give the six biggest relationship mistakes often that women are making in particular. Okay, women don't make mistakes in relationships. Bingo.

Punch out, that's the break. Just go to an ad, I guess. Let's not carry on. No, here is the six biggest relationships mistakes that women are making. The first one, self-abandonment. So you lose yourself in the relationship, by putting others' needs first

or kind of like morphing into something that you want them that you think that they want you to be. You might be doing a lot of the emotional labour. We've talked about that before. A lot of the sort of like homekeeping stuff and you can't even start to lose yourself a little bit. That's a mistake because then you're like, they're not actually with the person.

Yeah. Are they those friends that you never hear from again? No, that's coming up. Oh, is it? That's coming up. Of course it is. That's coming up. Okay, the second biggest relationship mistake

that women are making, comparing yourself to others, looking at other relationships being like, oh, they have way more fun, or they do this, or look on Instagram. Doesn't that look fun? What is that comparison as a theft of joy? Yeah, oh, they're going to Europe all the time. Why can't we travel and do that kind of stuff?

You're like, that one, if you're looking through the lens of social media, that's all bullshit. Yeah, you're never going to win in that game. You're never going to win in that game. You're just looking at it. That's not true. When you do, you'll just find the next person to compare yourself to. Yeah.

The ladder and you're never going to win that game. Yeah, and every couple, hides their BS. 100%. You know what I mean? So they look gold on the outside, but it's probably festering at home.

Sorry, I'm sure. That's right. Are you okay? The six biggest relationships mistakes. Number three, being too critical. You always, you never, you all, you know, like just always

having a dig. And I've been guilty of that. The fourth one, playing a guessing game, lack of communication, just like not communicating what you need and then being annoyed

that they get in guessing. it, not asking them what they want, just trying to guess it. Bad communication, that sucks. Now here's the fifth one that I reckon is the thing where your friends are like, what happened there? Making your relationship, this is a big mistake, number five. Making your relationship your whole identity. We know those people.

Yeah, we do. And then you never see them. You never see them again. Until they're single again and you're like, oh, come crawling back, have we? Welcome back. We've been having a lot of fun while you were away. Yeah, being a relationship just as like the core part of who you are, that's not a great sign. They're supposed to like enhance your life,

not be your whole identity. That includes finances, living arrangements, just like you lose yourself. To the music, the moment, yown that never-nam-lanning-o. When we're trying to have a serious discussion. This is actually really like quite a deep psychological study and how women lose themselves in relationships.

I think of the M&M song. Jing, ding, ding, dink, dink, dink, dink. Okay, the six biggest mistake that women are breaking in relationships trying too hard to be chill. Like, that's fine, it's fine. I'm a chill girl, I'm a cool girl. Yeah, I'm a cool girl.

I won't ask for what I want. No, I'm just easy, breezy going with that. You don't need to worry about me. You don't need to worry about me. Yeah. I think I've given up on the idea of ever selling anyone that I'm chill. I'm not.

There's not a chill about me. You're a bit much. I'm a lot. You're a lot. I'm not chill. And I'm going to need this, this, this, this, this is a constant affirmation. Of everything. Tornado, I believe.

A tornado. A tornado. And I embrace it wholeheartedly. So good luck out there. Of the top of your head, one of the biggest mistakes men make in relationships. Asking what's wrong. Existing.

Breathing too much. Just breathing a little bit too loudly. Putting a cup down anywhere that's not in the dishwasher. Having hobbies and interests. If those hobbies and interests are like PlayStation. The hobbies and interests. True, I won't judge. Fout like you were judging

Smelling Smelling. Smelling. Just smelling Being. Much more simple things on. Being emotionally and like stunted. Oh okay, that's not.

Like oh, I can express my feelings I'm going to play PlayStation and Salk. Yeah, not being able to read your mind. Yeah, like what's up with that? How do we? How do we? How bloody dare you? The ZDM Podcast Network.

How to Dad. Or how to Dad. How to Dad. Where should I be putting the emphasis in the how to dad? I don't know which word should have the inclination. I've baffled with that for the last 10 years. Well, good morning, good morning.

And we are talking to you as you are an ambassador for kids can and currently the 20 for 20 for 20 to org.n.z. Tell us more about it. Yeah, basically, look, you don't want to be that downer, but a lot of Kiwis can kind of put their head in the sand around kids going to school, struggling. And like, really? I haven't seen that in my neighbourhood. Yeah.

It's in every pocket of New Zealand and right now we know it's insanely tough out there you've got your fuel crisis, you've got groceries going up and now heading into winter. Families seriously have to choose between putting food in lunchbox or trying to put petrol in the car or trying to pay the power bill. So this is Kids Can's urgent appeal right now, 20 for 20.

$20 to help with the 20% of New Zealand kids that are currently kind of waking up and not knowing if they're going to have food in the cupboard or not. 20% feels so high for a country. As you say, I grew up very privileged and so lucky, and so you can kind of just go, really, is it 20%? Like, that feels too high for a country like New Zealand in which we should be taking better care of people.

I know, it's a scary number. It's one in five if you were struggling with that, Haley, which is also another way to put it, one in five kids. No, she just says she went to a private school. I mean, a maths should be. My best should be good. But one in five, it's staggering. It's crazy

And recently they did a quick survey With 400 Kids Can Partner Schools and 84% of the schools Were saying that they haven't seen The financial stress on families like this In forever So it's out there Sometimes I do my part

Where I try and get the message out through social media And make the videos and get them out there And I wish I could just reach through screens And kind of sit one on one with people And sit them down and tell them the backstory It's hard to get people to convert into clicks and donate, but it's insanely important right now. There's so many kids struggling.

So if you can, 20420.org.com. 20 is the website. 20 bucks. Hey, skip a few coffees. Skip a few pies this week. It isn't too tough. Yeah, for sure. How did you come to be involved?

Because obviously, like, you're a dad, and people know you from, how to do dad and all of your, like, fun struggles with parenting. How did you become involved with kids can? It would stretch back eight years ago. I think something came through my messages from them about helping out with the campaign and then met the team, loved what they were doing as a dad

with daughters sending them to school. The thought of sending your kids to school and being sorry, there's nothing to put in your lunchbox. It just gets you right in the gut. And it's something that's happening every single day throughout New Zealand. So it's something I'm super

passionate about. I'm yelling it from the rooftops as much as I can, so if you guys can help out. All of this is amazing. I appreciate you guys getting us on the airwaves. Oh, mate, it's so good. And I think it's great having someone like you presenting this because you are fun, you are approachable.

We know you very well and we respect what you say. So thank you so much for supporting kids, can. We can as well. It's 2420.org.org.com. 20 bucks helps all our Kiwikids. So thank you so much, Jordan. Hey, thanks, Legends. The ZM Podcast Network.

Play ZN's Flash forune and Haley. From the Fletchhorn and Haley group chat, this is the top six. The Auckland Council's looking for a corporate sponsor for a lighting rights for a light show on the Auckland Harbour Bridge. Hmm. But not the bridge itself. They're saying this is,

we're not selling the naming rights of the bridge itself, just the Activation Programme. Sponsor at all, if it makes all of our taxes and rates lower, let's do it. And don't we, we're going to have to replace it one day? Yeah, like imagine the Christchurch, Avon River, sponsored by Skechers.

H to go. I was thinking of a water brand. No, no, no. Because that's going to make people that they can just dip a thing in and drink it. They'll get the duck it. The pump Avon River in Christchurch. Thank you, yeah.

Because you know barley belly, if you get water in your mouth from the Avon River, you get Avon ass. Oh, Ava on ass. Straight out there. It's different. So also the bridge on Saturday

turns 67 or 16. Oh, don't do that. Now parents are going to be driving over in their kids. going to be doing that. Guys, kids, everybody, next time you see the bridge, especially this weekend. Say, do you know that the bridge today is turning 6-7? In fact, bonus right now, if you're on Auckland

Harbor Bridge listening. Yeah, 6-7. Do it, do it. Do it. Do it a 6-7 cent of a video. Give us a call. Oh, 100-d-Lz-M. Apparently, foggy is all buggery in Auckland today. Is it? Oh! Wasn't when I left the house. Did you not get... I had thick fog. I had no fog.

Thick West Auckland fog. Mm. Thick. Anyway, we're looking for people to sponsor a light show on the bridge. The top six sponsors to the Harbour Bridge Light Show are number six on the list.

Well, when I think lighting, I think... Lighting direct. Yeah, that's good. Great. They could totally do it. Lighting Plus will be pissed. They'll miss out of man.

But what's lighting plus? Is nifty little jingle about lighting? Lighting plus... No, that's EcoMist. That's Eco Mists. Everything's Eco Mists. Every jingle is Eco Miss when it boils down to it. No, me.

Five on the list. of the top six sponsors for the Harbourbridge Light Show BetterHelp. It literally sponsors every single podcast I've ever listened to about choosing your own therapist. It does, yeah. Surely they could sponsor a Harbour Bridge. Better Help Harbour Bridge.

Yeah. The Better Help Light Show. Yep. And if you don't like this light show, we can reassign you another light show and you can do it online, not a person. Number four on the list of the top six sponsors for the Harbour Bridge Light Show, Red Bull.

And then they fly one of those planes under it. Yes. Have they done that? flowing under the harbour bridge. Well, we did that flight simulator that time and I took a 747 under the harbour bridge. Now, some said it couldn't be done. Even the people running the simulator is like,

you're not going to be able to do it. I looped around the sky tower, went out over Mission Bay, hopped it hard and came in low. Warm under the harbour bridge. And then crashed on landing. Ended up on duty free, didn't you? Yeah, I did actually.

Yeah, I was high on life after flying it under the harbour bridge. So, on his... This last day for flying for tourist air travel in March 1967, Fred Glad, illegally flew his Wigian amphibian aircraft under the Auckland Harbour Bridge. Whoa, naughty boy. People jump off that thing. Imagine if you were jumping at the same time. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you were doing the bungee jump. Yeah, yeah. Dude, a Widgeon's one of those like planes that's literally got skids on it. Like you said them landing them in like remote Canadian lakes. Yeah, well, it's a bit of New Zealand history. He did it illegally. On his last day, and his last name was Ladd? Yeah, such a lad.

That's a lad move, actually. What a lad. Number three on the list of the top six sponsors for the Harbour Bridge light show. It's Harvey Norman. Every weekend. Harvey Norman. Harvey. For the Harbour Bridge, Norman.

Call it Harby. Harvey Norman Bridge. Harvey Norman Bridge. The Auckland Harvey. Yeah, we'll workshop that. But, you know, they advertise. A lot. Number two on the list of the top six sponsors for the Harbourbridge Light Show,

Wellington. I'm just saying it'd be funny if Wellington had promoted themselves on an Auckland landmark. Love that. They're like, come down, guys, come down. Wellington's Auckland Harbourbridge. Yeah, and Wellington's like, the city sucks. Come to Wellington. Everyone's like, we know, but this is where the money is.

Yeah. And number one in the list of the top six sponsors for the Harbour Bridge Light Show, Chemist Warehouse. Of course. Yeah, lovely, lovely. In fact, paint it yellow too. I don't know it would have to be yellow. Have to be yellow.

The lights would be very yellow. Even before a chemist warehouse popped up. You know of this chemist warehouse because of the yellow. It's like when you see a new chemist warehouse or a building getting turned into a chemist warehouse and you're like, it's the yellow. Yeah, you know what's coming. I know what that is before it's even got the sign up. Good stuff.

That is today's top six. The Zatam Podcast Network. Tell everybody how you grossed yourself out. So I think I might have mentioned that when I went to the doctor, I had a shopping list of things that I had wrong with me. And they told you, you're all good. And I showed you guys, I think I showed you this thing I've got on my hip that I've had for years.

It's this little bump. And sometimes I play with it too much and it would get bruised and a bit sore and stuff. And then it would like sit right where my jeans bouts it and it would get aggravated. For years and years and years. For years and years. Let it fester.

Yeah, and I was just like, ah, I don't know. It's not getting any bigger unless I play with it. And so I'll leave it be. And the doctor looked at it and he's like, I don't know, it looks like it started out as a lot. than grown hair. I'm like, okay. That happens.

And so that, yeah. But he didn't like lance it or stab it. Because apparently they weren't with too many things we didn't have enough time. Yeah, well, to be fair. Well, my doctor. Just large, just do just, this is how I'd do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.

I'll do it. Slippy slice it off. If a patient came in with a big, like, I'd feel like Dr. Pimple Popper. Get on the bed. I'd be like, can I video this for my Instagram? I'll give it to you for free. Lance it. But no, when you book it my doctors, they have a thing.

If you have more than two things, you've got to book two sessions. Yeah, same. Yeah. I think that's spot on. When I ran to book that appointment, I literally said to them, she's like, oh, what's the problem? I said there's a bit of a shopping list. Then she laughed. And then we both laughed.

And then, you know, us white guys, we'll wait until we're dying. And then get there and, it's the last one of the day. And he just wants to get out of there and get on the road to Parwanoi. Assuming, making some assumptions here. But so this thing I've had on my hip has been around four years. Ages and ages. Just a lump. Yeah.

Just this weird, slightly bruised looking thing. I'm not too fuss by it. This week, out of the blue, I went for a nice long walk with the dogs. And afterwards I was like, man, I'm looking forward to a hot shower. And I got it and I looked at it and I was like, you're looking different. And it had like a pimple head on it, but it was just blood.

So I was like, blood. Guess who's getting a red hot squeeze? Finger in there. Guess who's getting a red hot squeeze under the hot. So I turned the hot on. you know because that's as good as disinfectant in my mind It's exactly the same as detail

It's a hot shell It makes your pimples easier to pop Yeah yeah And I was like here we go And I got in behind it And I squeezed it and it just went Yes And I got like expulsion blood

Hit the glass in the shower I was like that's a good stuff And then the lump in the middle The thing that I felt in there for ages Kind of was in my hand And I was like oh it's a lump And I was like I gotta save this but then the shower would have washed it.

I couldn't see it. It's gone. What was it? So it felt like, and I did a little bit of a Google afterwards. Apparently when an ingrown hair winds around on itself, sometimes it can like crystallize essentially. Because what's here? Keratin. The same thing as nails.

Yeah. And so it can just get bound. And that's what I am assuming happened because now it's completely flat and it's like clearing up. That or it was my twin that I absorbed in utero. Probably that. That was his tooth. And you flushed your twin down the shower drain. Now he's in the septic tank.

I win, I win. You were dancing around this, but you grossed yourself out. Oh, yeah. You were telling us about this the first time. Oh, it was a bit yuck. When bits come out of you. You're like, it's a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. I've had a few sort of things come out. And you're like, as much as I grossed myself out, I was quite quietly pleased with it. Yeah. And then it hurts afterwards and you're still squeezing it because there's something in there. Ah! Ow! Ow!

Well, this is what we wanted to ask now. When did you gross yourself out? Yeah, and you're like, what? Like, sometimes it's a smell. You know, sometimes if you've been to the gym and you're busy and you've got to go out and you don't shout and you're like, far out. Yeah.

What's there? This might be a bit grim for this time of morning. Far out. That's teeny. Oh, poo. Okay. Ah, poo. Ah, poo.

I don't know if anyone's going to admit to this. Yeah, we love grossing ourselves out. Someone literally said when you were describing that, I am salivating. I live for this. Yeah. That's why people follow people like Dr. Pimblepomper and all these videos of blackheads.

Literally the next message said, can we not talk about something else? Nah, we'll talk about something else later. We will, we will. Well, 0,800 dials at him. We want you to give us a call and text a 9-696. When did you gross yourself out? Vaughn's yuck.

and squeeze a thing on his hip and blood burst and a bit came out. Was it ingrown hair, wasn't it? Yeah, well, I think it started years ago as an ingrown hair and it makes sense because it sits on like the belt lines and so some rubbing and stuff like that.

Transpire. You've got to get the Japanese shower towel worn. Excuse me, sir, I have a poof. You can't call them that. I use a puff. I use a basic supermarket poof. I love exfoliation gloves, but they get a bit yuck and wet and cold.

I can get that shot. The Japanese exceptional. I have a poof. Japanese shower towel. You know, I've had the Japanese exhaliating towel. Wonderful invention from the Japanese. The way I use yours when I use your shower. Yeah.

You right out there with the Kawasaki motorcycle. I'm sorry, you can't just come into use the way shower. Oh, you know, you don't use another man's Japanese extroliating towel. I get rid of all of a south. Oh! No, I've never used your bloody Japanese shower tower. Yeah, flat floss. You know?

I think I'm just going to burn your Japanese. to burn my Japanese bath towel. He's just going to abandon Japan all together. I'm never going to Japan. I'm buying a new one and hide it every time Haley comes right. Abby joins us. We want to know this morning, Abby. When you've grossed yourself out?

Yeah, I think I grossed myself out when I married my husband. Oh, that's a bit, man. Are you still with the old fella? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love him, but the noises he makes and the smells that come off of him, It's really concerning. Yeah, and like, you love him. I unfortunately do, yeah.

That makes you gross. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, but, okay. But what about yourself? Do you, are you gross at all? You're perfect. No, yeah, I'm absolutely delightful.

I'm lovely. I can hear it. Smell like roses, I guess. I can actually hear it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. What's the grossest thing about your husband that you love? Oh, no.

I don't think I can answer that. Wait, he's just gross. Is it too gross? Yeah, I don't know if I love his gross things. It's like the rest of him. You love him? What's one of the gross things he does? He has like a sinus issue, and so he's just like constantly making noises.

Oh, okay, like sniffles. Yeah. No, like this. He snores as well. He snores, they're married to a pug. Yeah. What's the study? your husband's feet?

No, we don't talk about those. He works in steel caps, so they're not great. Oh, you're going to crats hair long time. Has he got dry skin? You got dry, boy. You know, you're just like, we don't need to moisturize. You do, Hans. You do.

You do. We're moisturized twice a day. Thank you for sharing. Some messages. When did somebody message me? Peter's Ball stink. Can we get a confirmation of Abby? Oh, no, we're not Abby.

Abby. What's the state of his balls? It's not actually the balls. it's the space in between the balls and the butthole. It's the gooch. The gooch. Goach rakes. Caller of the week. Caller of the week, this.

Let's give you a caller of the week. It's Caller of the week. Chemis Warehouse. No, caller of the week's chemist's Warehouse. Let's get this man some body wash for that gooch. We'll chuck in some Gooch wash. Yeah. And the Japanese exvaliating town, even though the Japanese want to distance themselves from this Goch.

Thanks, the chemis Warehouse, home of the biggest brands at the Lowell's prices. Caller of the Wake. Thank you, Goch. You've got to have a prize. Save, Abby, if she ever calls up again, like, like, stinky gooch husband or something like that? Next to your name forever, that is. Stinky Goot husband. Some messages, and when did you

gross yourself out? My daughter had a spider bite on her thigh. As pimple Papa fans, I thought this was fantastic. Her not so much. She couldn't help but squeeze it and then gag what came out of the spider bite. What was it? Pussy? Yeah, I guess so. Pussy bloody. She sent herself and grossed out weeks later. A partner also got one

who was front and center for when she was squeezing, and now he was getting the squeeze too. Yeah. I stop at a pimple. Yeah. Everything else is going to the doctor. I'd give a spider butter

a red hot squeeze, but then if it just kept happening, I guess you'd go to the doctor and be like, I'd go to the doctor anyway. But while I was there, I'd give it a wet wipe. Yep. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then hope for the best. Yeah, I had a good squeeze at a butt pimple the other day

because it had a head on it, but I had to sort of reach around. And you get a wet wipe on that thing. Yeah, get a wet wipe on my pang! Yeah, I gotta get a wot-wop on that thine. Hey, boy, boy, you've got to get a wawap all that fine. Oh my God. We're meeting Abby and her husband tomorrow. Oh, no.

They're genuine friends. Oh, no, that's stinky, Gooch. I was just talked to Abby, and I said, oh, you're in our system. You're coming to our genuine friends. And she said, yeah, I know, and I'm bringing him. And I said, oh, Jesus. I thought you want the J.W. Mary, it's got a beautiful bathroom. Yeah, it's a beautiful smell.

She has assured us that he will be shall. She said she'll make sure. If I smell that guy's gooch, I'm leaving dinner. I'm not having him ruin my dinner. I don't think they'd leave it. They won't let him into the lovely trivet restaurant if he's got a stinky gooch. Can we get a private trivet table?

Because I'm not. I'm not getting his gooch aroma and ruin my otherwise fantastic guilt. We've got to check our listeners, don't we? Before we invite them to dinner. But when we're doing these competitions, do you want to come have dinner with Fletchhorn and Haley? We're not like in dizzy goat rig. Do you know what that's a fair question?

It's not one of the teasing scenes. You can be excluded on the day should your guttriekriek. Can we, from moving on, Cowan, get that in our T's and Sills? Lovely, sure. I almost vomit on my newborn baby when the midwife put the baby on my chest for skin-to-skin contact after I'd just given birth to it

because I was still covering all the baby goo and I hadn't been worn. Is it? You... You should rub it into your skin. That white goo? That's the best. You have soft skin for like a wake.

Oh. Friends that have birth, I mean, it's their goo. I'm not going in and dip in a hand in. Yeah, no, no. But that goes good. best. Oh God, I had what I thought was just a black toe because I'd kicked it.

And I thought, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna drill through the toenail. You did this. I did this. You did this. I did this. You did this. When you're hiking. Yes. And it doesn't. It gets the blood out. But you've, you don't draw through your toe. You use a hot pin or a hot paperclip.

If you get, okay, because people are messaging in saying they're trying to eat breakfast and they're four years. And I was like laughing about it until now I'm imagining this because they said they're drilled through, very fine, tiny drill. Pilot hole. A pilot hole. Because you're about to bang a nail through,

but you don't want to split the wood. No. Trilling a pilot hole and they just said it exploded. Yeah. I like that. Okay. I remember a time I was grossed out by myself when I got a root canal.

And the... I picked you out. Oh no, I picked it from the wisdom teeth. Yeah, the dentist took the cap off because there was a cap on there. And I've never smelled anything so bad in my life. I was like, that's in me. I've had that in my mouth.

mouth. Yeah, that's been in my mouth all this time. Oh, no. Laura messaged in, why are we aren't talking about how gross it is when we have to take our own poo sample and some gets in your hand and it's just like scooping it up? I had to do a poo sample once and I got there

and they said, no, it had to be three individual samples. So I had to go into their little bathroom. I had to divvy it up. My own shit. It was the most humble I was like, I hate myself. I would have pop next door to the Chinese takeaway and got some chopsticks and just... Dude, I had to get in.

and divving up my own poop into three different receptacles. It was awful. Yeah. I hate being a human. Play. That ends. Flesh, Vaughan and Haley.

Well, I thought the listener, and maybe you guys could help our good friend Dr. Shawnee. Who he loved it. You know, he buys these mega crossword books. Yes. And he just does crosswords in a spare time. He often will send it to me.

Yes. Hasn't asked me for help lately. I think he goes to you more now. He's never asked me. Because he knows that when I don't know I Google, but I don't tell him that I've Googled. Yeah, I think he's okay with that because he's

technically not cheating. Yes, he's just doing a crossword with a friend. Yeah, you're the cheater and he can live with that. He's still cheating though, isn't he? Yeah, he's cheating. Yeah. Okay, so the thing is radio news bulletin

or news bulletin and it's news something A something T. News something A something T Crosslands are one of those things I can't have someone say that to me I can't picture it

Hold on so I'm ready to have Has you got wrong letters? I thought it was like news beat But it's A It's news something News something Yeah And it's just

And I didn't know when I read it When I opened that this morning And I was like well now I've got to ask You guys cast Oh my God Oh lame Oh okay Come on guys

Jesus this is embarrassing This is what I'm saying. This is what I'm like. Dr. Shawney will send it to me. I'll be literally mowing the lawns. One hand, phone out. Sometimes I don't even need to see the letters that he's already got. I'll just see the clue and I'll send it back to him.

And I put my phone back in my pocket and continue. Nobody sees newscast. It's a newscast anymore. Like a broadcast. Yeah, it's a broadcast. But it's the news. It's a news house. No, whatever.

Well, that was short, wasn't it? That was lame. What else should we talk about? I don't know. What did you guys? I made those Big Mac tacos again last night. Oh, let's talk about this. Dude, last night I used bork, which is a mixture of beef and pork.

You mix your beef and pork mints. If you're even making a mince dish, don't look at me like that. Like a bolognazes. I don't know, I'm saying about it. Always mix your mints is. Don't stick to one mints. I don't really like a pork mints. Why?

What's wrong with you? I don't really like Paul. No, keep me here. Mixed with the beef, it just sets off. If they play against each other so well. So what you do is you mix the beef and the pork mints together with, um, some onion powder and some salt and some pepper. Yeah.

Lots, by the way. Lots. Yeah. A teaspoon. Stop telling me to put a teaspoon of garlic in. I will put eight tablespoons of garlic in. Yeah, same. I'm not even Italian.

Half a cup. And so mix that all up. Then you get your tortillas right. Yeah. And you mush the mints onto them. Raw. Okay. It's very important.

You mush your mints onto them raw. See, but all I know now is that one side of my mints is like gray. No. No. And the other side of my mints is like gray. And then you've got to get that pan hot as hell itself. Okay. And when you put the...

I'm not going to hell. Any of us hurried to you. Your first and bloody line, mate. Why am I first in line? You got a VIP fast pass. I tell you what, I have one of those... And you're writing the singles line. So you just...

I have one of those six flags. The fast pass is very good. That's how you want to get into hell. You don't want to only going through all nine levels. You're not waiting in line. Straight to the ninth level of hell. I'm not waiting in line to go to hell. I'm too busy to wait a line either.

So you get your pan as hot as hell. and then mint side down and just kind of like, if you've got, thank you again, Haley, for buying me the burger, smash. My absolute pleasure. I put that on top for a little extra weight. Yeah. And you push it down and it sizzles.

You're essentially making a smash burger patty on top. And then flip it over, give the tortilla a kiss on the hot pan. And that's what I do. I put them in the oven. It sounds like it'll still be raw. No, no. It's not raw because it's so hot and it's so thin. Like a smash patty essentially,

but it's only getting kissed on one side. Right. And then when you get that, out. I put them in the oven just to keep them warm while I get them all done and then when I get that out of cheese on it back under the grill. Yeah, that's good. That's good stuff. And then some diced onion. Yes. Some lettuce.

Your Big Mac sauce. Your Big Mac sauce. I actually make my Big Mac sauce. So do I. So do I. Well, don't say that. Mushoshishishish. Shamm-o. They'll sue you. They'll sue you. And then it's just tacos, tacos. Okay.

I tell you what? Delicious. No complaints. I would not be mad if I came over and you made that I don't know. I just want to bring it up again that I have an electric fry pan. And I just wonder if we just keep it in studio for days like this. When we feel like tacos. I'll be like, you know what?

Let's have some 738. Breakfast tacos. Somebody said lamb and beef mince is way better. Don't get me wrong. It is. Lamb is so expensive at the moment. Also, lamb's too strong. I mean, all meats expensive at the moment.

Lamb is a strong meat. Yeah. Yeah, beef. Mints is expensive. Everything is. We need to go and split a log from Costco. Costco. I've got the home kill mints.

but you're like, it's too strong. It's meat, how meat is supposed to taste. No, I need it sort of salted and watered down. She needs some watery supermarket mints. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh Forne and Haley. Off campus. We actually talked to Ella and Belmont, didn't we,

about this show. That is huge. You've read the books. I reckon we could almost replay that interview because we interviewed them before it came out. We were at the head of the polls. Yeah, we played it the day the show came out. And we said,

I said at the time you guys are not going to know who these people are you might even not bother listening to this interview but now you'll want to listen to it won't you? Yeah. Producer Carlwin, you read the books of off-campus It is a, we're going to go to the gay hockey soon but this is a hetero-hockey

Smutty romance book and it's been turned into a show and you've been watching it. Yeah, I watched it immediately. It's the best. Everyone's so hot. Everyone is so hot. Now this is one for the older girls. The lead guy on off campus looks like a young Gavin Rostow from Bush.

Yeah, he does look a little bit like a Gavin Rostow. He was married to Gwen Stefani. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you haven't seen any of off campus, here's a little taster for you. Garrett Graham doesn't deal girlfriends. So what, I hope you study and you play my fake boyfriend to get Justin's attention? I say. Deal.

This is the most absolutely unhinged plan and I'm obsessed with it. Whoa, easy. We're going to be fake dating. There needs to be real kissing. I just met you. M-M-W-W-M-W-W-M-Wah. Classic trope from a, you know, smart book is the pretending we're dating for other ulterior motives. And then falling and falling in love.

36 million views in its first 12 days of availability. Only being beaten on Prime by the Rings of Power and Fallout, which they said were massive huge big budget. So it's the third biggest show on debut. Exactly. These are the stats that have just come out. It's huge. Among women, 18 to 34. Absolutely. Incredible Android.

Our preferred. And it's, yeah, Prime Video's number one debut of all time. It's also got an incredible soundtrack. If you're into music, the playlist is so good. Right. And if you want to, if you miss our interview with the stars of off campus, you just go to our socials. Go to our socials. Go to our potty.

Now, we're not moving away from the world of romantic hockey smart because I just want to touch on the fact that heated rivalry, which has really kind of blown this world apart in front of people. Heated rivalry is off-campus but gay. Canada, Russia final showcasing the two most talked-about prospects in the world. Canada is Shane Hollander. Shane Hollander, I wanted to introduce myself. Okay.

He's Russia. You're an awesome player to watch. Yes. Very good of hockey. The best problem are you. You've only seen each other or one. Yeah, Boston and Montreal play against each other off. Are there any gay hockey players?

None that have said it. Let me say they are very gay. And they do very gay things with the Russian and each other. I haven't seen this yet. I know. I would have thought you would have been all over there. Howard's jaws on the floor. I know, but I'll be very busy.

And now I've got a bit more time on my hands. You're never too busy for some gay hockey. I was seeing some news stories last week in Carlin because I haven't read the books but in season two there's like a whole thing with how the NHL deals with this the coming out and the news stories last week were the actual real-life commissioner

of the guy in charge of the NHL is like you know we're a little bit worried about how this is going to play out because they don't in the books handle it well yeah and I guess like they're all to be fair overseas they are kind of getting on board. Like some of the teams have really played into it.

They're making videos. They're making shirts and stuff like that. Ice hockey players have come out being like, I'm gay. Yeah. Yeah. And lots of them that haven't come out have been messaging the cast of the show being like, thanks for this. Yeah, I love this. Well, if you can't get enough of heated rivalry, I'll tell you where you want to hear New York

because there's an off-Broadway, unauthorized, heated rivalry, musical parody. Oh, really? Okay. I want to go to it so bad. It's just open. It's based on heated rivalry. It is a gay, hockey, unauthorized musical version. It's just going to be, the crowd's just going to be full of horny girls.

Yeah, I mean, I have seen, there were some previews, like, last night or the night before, and some, like, Broadway influences niche, but there exist. What songs are in this? It's an original. Oh, the things you say. It's an original. No, it's original music. It's not a jukebox musical.

It's like they've written songs like, I'm gay for hockey. And the reviews, because this just opened over the weekend, the reviews are glowing. Really? Critics are saying like this, because parody musicals aren't a new thing, but they're like, this exceeds all expectations, strong, catchy score, genuinely original jokes, not just reference stacking like most parodies.

We tune that around quickly. And they're all wearing like big hockey jerseys that are all like bedazzled and they've got like no pants on. I just like, what a fly. Okay, so you're direct flights to New York? Yeah, yeah. It's running now, and it's just an hour 25 of gay musical hockey joy. Smart.

I need it. The ZN Podcast Network. Is this a show real? Play Z-N's Flesh, Fawnan, Haley. Silly little pole, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly, that a silly. Silly little pile today is do you still make your own music playlists? Yeah, for sure.

I make playlists for like pre-show stuff, you know, when I'm performing. Jim playlist. We've got our genuine friends roadie playlist. I feel like I make less than I used to because I'll just use the, you know, the best of your year, 2025 or 2020, whatever. And then just because it's my favorite songs,

I just rotate that. Or I pick a song I want to listen to, just the song and that kind of curates off the back of that. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, that's good. But I tell you what, nothing scratches that itch until I listen to the radio because I get music and some chit-chat with the friends. That's right.

That's right. That's true every morning. That's six till ten. It's kind of a double... A double whammy, because we said if you do create your own music playlist, do you give them names? So let's start with, do you still create your own music playlist? 69% said yes.

Nice. Said yes. They do. 31% of people are not making playlists. Okay. What, they'll just listen to already made playlists or just, I guess so. Shuffle all their music they have. If you answered yes to making your own playlist, do you give them fun names?

62% of people giving them fun names, 38% not bothering with names. Oh, yes. Just playlist. Just playlist. One. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to give it a fun name. Yeah, good.

The naming's part of the fun. Tess said, I name them the month in the year with emojis to represent what's been happening in that period for me. I've heard of people doing this. That's a great idea. If it's sad, or you're sad, you put it crying or something. Yeah, I've got there. I've got plain rage and sad plain.

Like if I want to listen to a hemy playlist, that's plain rage and then in sad planes, so I can just be like... Yeah, I mean, people do this by the month and it kind of like is a diary of sorts. Oh, of how you were feeling for the year. Yeah, okay. You can go through and have a bit of a moment of reflection.

Kate said, yes, my playlists snap out of it, you salty bitch. Love that. Or drown out that useless corporate fluff for when I'm at work, and I don't want to talk to people. Sometimes you're just going to do it though. Great playlist.

Shelly said, yes I do, and some of mine include Girlie Pop-Bops, crying in the corporate girly world, Jim Jam, Songs That Need a Choker in a Pair of Wedge Hills for Town. Okay, great. I love these. And admit defeat, spreadsheet. Oh, wow. I do like song, I'm going to need to know what songs are on, songs that need a choker and a pair of wedge heels for town.

Yeah. Molly said normally I just named them just had a whole other keys on the keyboard No Molly No Molly How do you find them Molly? Just by date says Jen

I name them the date So then I can track my moods Oh yeah that's cool That's a cool idea People had no idea this was a thing No same Like the mood diary for the year And you'd be like

Oh I'm grumpy All the time Nubes says Here's some playlists I made When I was in my ho era six years ago songs I can't commit to songs on the roster this week

songs to be a bad bitch to songs to cry over F boys too and songs to have physical dyslexia too physical dyslexia I don't need to Google that that sounds like fun your body's getting all confused

dyslexia physical dyslexia it's when you go to open the door but you open the window yeah with your foot affects both fine motor skills tying shoelaces button and closing gross motor skills like balance running sports

coordination is dyspraxia. Yeah. So there you go. So we asked you for silly little poll. Are you still making your own music playlist? 69% of you said. Nice. The Z&M Podcast Network. What's going on?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. Want to know now, 0800,000M and 9696 to text through. Do you know someone that just can't let go of something? Like maybe they lost one time. Yes. Maybe something happened and they just keep bringing it up. They missed out on something once and they're like, I could have been a blah, blah, blah.

And you're like, but you're not. But you're not. Just those people that, like, letting it go is such a big thing in life, right? Because otherwise, you just causes so much. The snow blows white on the mountain. There's a song in that. Yeah, about letting it go. Yeah.

It's quite nice. Thank you. So the reason we want to talk about this. This is the most ridiculous news story. The minute I said it was like, you guys. This has got white privilege. Sneed all over it. I've seen this for the last couple of days and it just makes my eyes old.

38 years ago. 308. I wasn't born. Years ago. The Auckland Grammar School Coxed 8 finished second to Christ's College and Christchurch. Yeah. At the 1988, Mardi Cup final. Oh, was this a Mardi Cup?

Marty Cup. up. They take that very seriously. Very seriously. 38 years ago. I didn't exist. They have launched a second formal complaint with rowing New Zealand. A historical formal complaint saying the race was unfair because Christ College were the only crew using

lightweight carbon fiber ores. A technology advantage they say was worth roughly three boat lengths of the 2,000 meters. Yeah, but they're Christ's College. They've got the money, honey talks. Their second submission, there is 10 pages long. It has maths, physics, video evidence,

AI analysis And invokes the health and safety at arguing the ongoing anxiety harm from losing an unfair race deserves protection they lost by three quarters of a length and were only overtaken in the last 100 minutes I feel like if you're anxious and upset

every day for 38 years about a race that you lost you just need to get more exciting things in your life to be worried about Yeah Have you got nothing else to worry about You need a crippling mortgage An all-encompassing divorce Turn on the news

Disrupted sleep pattern hormone disorder that makes you get real fat real quick. I mean, 20% of kids are going to school without food. 20 for 20.20. Dot or the appeals on at the moment, you know? Like these kids go to school without food, but you lost a rowing race. I know. I mean, we're all allowed to complain

about our things, but... By the way, this isn't being led by the school. Auckland grammar is like, current Auckland grammar, the headmaster's just like, I don't think the other things to worry about. What was the Vogels there? It was a year ago, Michael, let it go. But is it like these

students, former students, now in their mid-50s, in their mid-50s, just like, can't let it go. Let it go, who cares? Get a new hobby. Yeah, they had carbon-fiber oars. That's just life, dude. Sometimes people have carbon-fiber oars,

and you've just got your arm in the water. And you're saying that if you had carbon-fiber oars, you would have been in them, you don't know that. We didn't even have a lake in Moran'sville. Bye. If we'd had a lake, we could have row. We didn't have a lake. We only have the rowboats at Pookieikuta Park in you plumpers.

Oh, that's lovely. And sometimes they weren't even out in winter because it was too cold. Yeah. And it's hard to go fast for them because you have to sit side by side with people. It's a wide boat. We had to row in the Wellington Harbour. It was really choppy because of the wind. You wouldn't have known what to do with yourself on a flat South Island Lake. We all know some of these people that just won't let something go.

Yeah. And they'll bring it up any party. They'll be like, I was the head of the bloody. And you're like, what else have you done? Is there anything else? This is giving big peaked in, well, actually didn't even pick in high school because they didn't win. Oh, my God. That hurt them to a new level.

Aren't they embarrassed though this is in the news? I'm embarrassed. I don't know. I'm embarrassed reading this. Like, let it go. You're growing men. Yeah. Anyway, 0,800 down's at him.

We would love to take some calls now. You can text through 9-696. What can't someone let go of? My husband hasn't let go of something that happened. 16 years ago 16 years ago Katie what was it I was pregnant with my first child

and we went out for I don't know snack at a fancy chicken shop Yeah And we shared a bucket And Katie Katie why didn't you say just KFC

Why didn't you just say KFC? Did the producers say don't say KFC Yeah Well We've screwed that up now But it's not bad, let me just check, because, you know, we're all about making the company some sweet money. This isn't derogatory in any way towards Kentucky fried chicken, is it? No, no.

Okay. We can all enjoy a beautiful bucket of chicken. It's finger looking good. Absolutely. Yeah, so there was two pieces left. There was one big piece, one small piece, and being pregnant. I took a big piece. You're growing a human being inside of you, I think, as you're a word to do.

Yeah. I mean, my husband is six-foot tall and, you know, he's a heavy, you're not heavy. Is he growing? He's a human being inside of his belly, is he? Or is he not? I hope not. No. I hope not.

And so you took the big piece? I definitely took the big piece. And 16 years later, I still don't live it down. He will throw it in my... We laugh about it. Don't get me wrong. We laugh about it. Right.

He'll always say to me, I'll just like that time and he took the last piece of chicken. Have you taken him back and just, you know, bought him a whole bucket and said just let it grow. Yeah. I still will take the last case even if I'm all the kids full now. I was going to say you got a 16 year old on your hands by my math so they're

probably eating their fish or a chicken too. He'll eat the whole bucket. Oh hey yeah. God, those are legs, those boys. It's been a while. Why I needed that bigger taste. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Katie, thank you. Some messages. Thank you. Oh, my, that's our

Cody. Somebody said, my partner was called to be part of the SAS, but he found out his partner at the time was pregnant, so he couldn't go. That kid's now 22 and he still talks about it. They could have been in the SAS. Should have been in the SES. But you weren't? Yeah. That's like the time I was going to be, do you remember when I was going to be an all-black? But then I just, I actually sucked at rugby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. You scored on the sideline. Yeah, blindly. I was going to be one of the principal dancers for the New Zealand ballet. Yeah. But I never did ballet. I just couldn't. I didn't even do ballet.

Yeah. I'm far too big a boned. Shout out to Craig, who's pushing 40 and still puffs his chest out when he tells you who's the head boy at his private school. Oh, that's... My friend injured his knee during a first 15 rugby game 10 years ago and says if he didn't injure himself, he totally would have been in the running for an all blacks.

Yeah, taken out of the game. Taken out of the game. My auntie reminds me every time I see her that my mum stole the name. She had a mine for my cousin, like I'd done it myself. I'm 34, my cousin's 31. That wasn't supposed to be your name? Gera.

Like, get her over it. It's been how many years? Yeah. Ugh. Um, I don't think someone's messaged him for the wrong thing altogether there. Okay. Read it. I have a teddy bear that's a bunny and I've had it since birth.

Okay. Okay. You know, fair enough. Six story. Yeah. Soldiers in the New Zealand Defence Force are a classic. Oh, they can't let it go. The teddy bear.

Some of it they can't let go. Yeah, maybe that's the thing they can't let go off. Oh, right. They misunderstood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The phone and top of it. I think you miss. understood. I think, I mean, that is something they can't let go of.

Yeah. Well, I can't someone let go of. The teddy bear they've had since they were. Somebody said the defense forces full of soldiers who failed selection and sales almost in the SEs, if not for, dot, dot, dot. Yeah. Oh, I'm 46 years old and my mum still is bitter that I didn't sleep very well as a baby. Brings it up. I was exhausted. You were just a terrible sleep. Well, you decided to have a baby, mum. What did you think was going to have? happen.

Yeah, yeah. Famously, an easy job. My mum still can't go with the fact that I ran away to my friend's house when I was 16. It was for one evening. I'm now in my mid-30s and I still hear about it once a week. What? Ironically, it was her inability to let things go back then was the reason I ran away. Someone said my husband's still not over me selling his shitty blue sofa on trademark.

Blue? Like a navy blue? I'm imagining sort of like a baby, real puffy. and it gets that grease on the arms. Yeah. That's what I imagine, like a cotton. Because it sat on it dirty. Yeah, yeah.

Sit on it dirty. Oh, okay, I'm the person who can't let it go. I auditioned for a Disney TV role and I got in and they were going to fly me and my dad out to try for the role in the US. And I was 10. And to be honest, I just wanted to go to Disneyland. My dad decided no, I had to go to school. And I think about it to this day. I'm 18 now.

I still think about it. That's crazy. My grandmother is 75 years old. she still constantly brings up how her parents entered a boarding school at Waikato Diocesan if you even say like Hamilton

she'll bring it up never say the word dio and don't you dare drive past that school with her in the car like let it go it's years ago yeah

my husband and his mates can't let go that I ruined how do you I ruined the opening day of duck shooting because I had

to get taken to the hospital to get my appendix taken out. Well, you could have died. Yeah. Six weeks after giving birth as well. Oh, yeah. 20 years ago, my sister was moving to London and I was in my late teens

and I had my own issues, but I was very angry and jealous that my sister was leaving, so I sent her off with a letter. It was a hate letter, basically telling her I was glad she was leaving because I could have mum all to myself. Needless to say,

she's never late that ago, always brings it up with, like, that time you sent me away with a hate letter. It was 20 years ago. Please let it go, Megan. Yeah, there might need to be some therapy there, I think. My mum doesn't get over, won't let me get over how big my head was and what it did to her. I actually, I'm probably on mum's side on this.

I'm because that would ruin, you wouldn't know. My dad was booked in to go to jelly wrestling with his mates the night my mum went into labour and I was born. He likes to remind me every year on my birthday that he missed out on jelly wrestling because of me. Your dad wanted a purve at the jelly girls. Oh, my mum said no two. The good old days of jelly wrestling, too. Tiddies, I'm jelly wrestling. Guys, we have a Victoria's Secret model here.

Well, could have been. But when farmers asked me to walk in the fashion parade, my mum said, no, I'm too young. That's fair enough. Could have been Victoria's Secret. Could have been walking for Versace. Mum was probably protecting you for all the perves at the mall. She could have been a Versace model by now, Victoria's Secret.

Finish off with this one, Dean. I'm pissed off and I continued to be with my mum because when I was little I found an albino hedgehog. Oh! And I was going to showcase it and make heaps of money. And I woke up in the morning and I said, where's my albino hedgehog? Mum would let it go

because it shat all through the lounge. She'd put it outside and then scarper off. Wow. The Z&P Podcast Network. Play ZDN's Flesh, Forne and Haley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. Oh, do do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-d do. Do-do do-do do.

This week, ad fact of the day, it's the dark side of kids' TV shows. And I've got to say, are you ready, kids? Aye, aye, Captain! SpongeBob's SquarePats. Yeah. Woo-hoo! Oh, you wanted the, I can't hear you. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

I have a photo at Dream World with SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Patrick, we do. He's got a shirt off too and he's got a, he's in his rig era. Yeah, I had abs. I had ads. I had ads. Why is your shirt off? Because we were at Dreamwood, we were going to the water park.

Yeah, we were on the hydro slides. And then Spongewob's there and I said, Oh, let's get a photo. Patrick were there and we're at a photo, what are you? I don't know if I've got the photo online. I'll try to find it. I'll put it on Facebook somewhere. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.

Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. I can't. No, you don't make a horn at work, please. Wait, but why? You put on a shirt to have a photo of Patrick and SpongeBob. No, because we're at the water park bit of, you know, Dreamworld's got the water park bit and the not waterpark bit.

Yeah. And where are you at? I'm in full safari outfit. We weren't in the water part, Haley. We were. Someone wanted to get us a rig out. Why did I have my shirt? Because you were out there hunting for honeies, babe.

Also, if you've got abs. You don't have a shirt on a dream. What if you got abs? No, I'm going to try and find this photo. Okay, anyway. Do you have the photo? I'm going to need to see these apps. I have it somewhere.

You care about Facebook more than I. If Vaughn still uploads Facebook photos. Yeah. Like, how old are you? Dude. You're old. You're a grip, dude. Dude, get a groat.

Do, cringler, am I right? Oh my God, I just, here's a photo of when I saw Kanya and Kim at the airport. On a little... Airpork. On airport. Yeah, it's where you go, you catch a plane and you have some pork. Yeah. Some reds.

Then there's flying pig. That's right. And Kim's tiny in that photo. Wait, apparently, so I can, no, it's not on my camera roll. It's on Facebook. Shannon's saying I should search nipples on, in the album. I search nipples sometimes, too. if I'm looking for a quick.

Gold Coast, Gold Coast album. Anyway, carry on with Fact of the Day, Vaughn, we're very... By the way, juridate. This is actually our show, though. We can do whatever we want. I don't think there's any rules here. I'll find that.

If I find it, we'll chuck it up on the store and everyone can have a gorgate flitchers rig. And my tiny nipples. Tiny nipples. But you guys have apps photos. I've never had them. So can we just tie whore on that? You know, because they'll be like,

now do Haley's. Well, that doesn't exist. We'll crank an AI on it, if you'll want. Yeah, my body's trying to get my ovaries warm for all those children. I'm not happy. Thank you, body. You're welcome, buddy. Well, SpongeBob SquarePants was created by Stephen Hellenberg, who unfortunately

died in 2018, age 57. But before he became an animator, he was a marine biologist. God, I love SpongeBob. Spongebob's like a classic. I think that's the fifth longest. That was a good squid, wood. I'm going to add that to my because we did, we turned out. How does a SpongeBob laugh? Spongubbub. Spongob. Punch Bob.

That's good. There was a Patrick in there. That's good. That's my SpongeBobbuck. So he did this because he was a marine biologist and he's like, there's all these interesting creatures under the sea. But if you know where he lives, Bikini Bottom. And a pineapple. It has been confirmed that SpongeBob's home, Bikini Bottom, is named after and in the mind of the creator underneath Bikini Atoll.

We're between 1946 and 1958, the US detonated 67 nuclear weapons, the most cast. Was there any nuclear testing there? They loved an atoll for a nuclear test. Oh, that's why they're weird talking creatures. Bingo and we don't see any humans. They've been Chernobyl. Yeah, they've been Chernobyl. The most powerful test there was an explosion that was the equivalent of 1,000 Hiroshima bombs.

Wow. Now, if you're familiar with the devastation, wreaked by the nuclear bomb dropped on Hiroshima, you'll know 1,000 of them is crazy. So I didn't know this, but the people who actually lived on Bikini Atoll, That's right. There were people that lived there. Wow. They were removed from their homes and told they could come back after the testing.

Well, they didn't because that's ridiculous. The radiation won't be gone for thousands of years. Those people are still exiles today. But, SpongeBob walks and talks and he does patties and everything because the sea creatures are all nuclear mutants. It was confirmed by a writer on the actual show. It is. It's got a political undertone.

Every explosion in the cartoon replicates the shape of a real underwater nuclear detonation photograph that was taken. They've used actual test footage in episodes of SpongeBob. The whole thing is set in an irradiated graveyard and it's been a children's favourite for over 26 years. Yeah, man, I love SponB, I still watched it as an adult as well because it's just funny. Leveled, unbelievable level.

And I tell you what? The movie's great. Doesn't go a miss after a Sleepy Time Gummy. Dude, I was going to say, I was going to say, pipe yourself a Sleeper Time Gummy, get some good SpongeBob on. You got yourself a nice chilled Friday. night with a couple of giggles and then half a pack of squiggles.

Give us, give us your Patrick one more time. Oh, I don't know. It's too much. Who? Patrick. Spongebob. Oh no. I'm so bad. Bunch Bob.

No, it's gone. This is actually feeling problem. I'm going to practice. I'm going to practice. Yeah, SpongeBob is good. Yeah, SpongeBob laugh in the meantime. So today's fact of the day is SpongeBob's bikini bottom is a nuclear wasteland. Fact of the day, day, day, day.

We are do-d-d-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-R. Play Z-M's Flesh, Fawn and Haley. It's a long week, but we have had a lot of fun. Yeah, it feels long, and I've enjoyed every moment. We've got a short week ahead as well with King's Birthday Monday. Yes. Yes. So let's just, just for some context, we're all cat owners.

Mm-hmm. and Vaughn and I have talked numerous times about how misbehaved your cat, Major Murray Fluffington is. He claws, he tears, he shows little respect to guests. Although to be fair, since I went to show sponsor animates and got that fallaway stuff,

that cat hormone, the fake cat hormones. I got bail blindness sometimes. I can't see the bar. I've got the diffuses and the spray. He's actually been so much more chill. I'm going to have. I think you have to get some. I recommended it to you.

You did. And now I'm going to need it. Rolly, my precious beautiful cat, who by the way, if you saw socials yesterday, he's not dead. We were just trying to get me to cry on Q. Yeah. He has never clawed anything. Never, he's just been a beautiful boy.

He has turned into a piece of shit. My cat. He's a brat. He's turned into Major Murray Fluffington. I know why. Because my parents are there. He's been spoiled by his grandparents. He is.

This is what happens when, I used to come back from my grandparents A nightmare. So this is exactly what's happened. One, he's gotten fat. My mum said, no. No, you don't want a skinny cat. I said, Mom, you do the bird's eye view thing.

And you look, and it should be not too swelling in the middle. He's swelling in the middle. Should never be wider than their whiskers. Yeah, and I bought, I will say, post separation, I was like, I'm going to treat myself to a few treats. Yeah. Bought a very expensive rug. Very expensive.

And I brought it in, and I tell you what, with that rug. You know, if she's saying it's expensive, this would blow the socks. off the average painter. So I bought this expensive rug. He has torn it to shreds. He never claws anything. He's torn it to shreds. I was like, oh, my God, you're a little shret. And I keep funny.

It's a little tufty bits. And it looks awful now. It looks awful. And he's too old to clip his claws. He won't like that. I can't clip his claws. I never have and I never will. But he, and now he, I saw the other day, I got new curtains, clawed them. Oh!

Major Murray Fluffington behaviour there. And then the other day, looked down on those corner, of my couch replaced last year. Claude. He's a little shit. Oh, you need to get some of the stuff he got. Yeah, I know. I can't believe it.

This is not him. It's like, are they in cahoots? Have they been messaging? Major Mari's been like, mate, you're too docile. You're keeping this too low key, sucking your claws and things. There's literally nothing you can do. They just do it.

Like, I know it's naughty, though. Lock them out when you're not harder for you. I look, the cats gets locked out when I'm not home. He's so mean. Yeah. Cheetos allowed in the laundry because that's for his food Do you know what Cheetos done, mate?

No. Who I've had a real bonding with by the... We're just a couple of lads in the bachelor's pad. No, no, not for a start. But, you know, in the bachelor's pad now he's really warming to me. We have moments. I've got one of those rotators.

I think bonds like the tears of a man into the soft fur of a cat. And he licks the salty bit. I got one of those cat, every 12 hours it rotates to the next segment so you can load it up with biscuits. and he's got, if he eats all the biscuits, he's worked out, he gets his claws underneath

and just flicks the lid off. And then just eats all the red of biscuits. And then it's just like, dude, there's no biscuits left. I'm like, you've eaten a week's where the biscuits, my man. Yeah, you've fat slog. My mum has messaged in saying, please remind Haley that dogs have owners, cats have staff. Yes, that's very true.

And I know it. Yeah, I know it. Yeah. He's disrespecting the household. And it's just new behaviour. He's 10 years old and he's just started this. I used to come back from my grandparents's fat. Because they didn't know when to say no, and they'd always have lollies.

And they'd never make us exercise. Yeah, that's Raleigh. I used to come back with an attitude. That's Raleigh. He's got a real attitude. I could do no wrong. What's nothing to do with me, just happy to claw my expensive rug. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He used to come back, and I just had apparently forgotten how to deal with my siblings. So it was always just like fistic cups, which I guess is the equivalent of scratching a couch. Yeah, that's Raleigh. It's grandparents. When are they off on their? Saturday. My parents go to Europe. I think we'll see a marked improvement in behavior.

Good. The Z&M Podcast Network. A 14-year-old daughter who one day a week her school starts late. I don't know why. Like an hour and a bit late. But their bus runs on the same time every day. So they get there and they've got an hour to burn through. An hour and 20 minutes to burn through.

That was me and I was a 14-year-old. I'd probably find a dairy and buy lollies. They go to Pack and save. I'm by lollies. And they buy lollies and stuff. Yeah. So it's exactly the same. So they're buying on scale.

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's good. Nothing's change. Yeah. So yesterday was Wednesday. they're right? Yep. And they said they decided they're going to start side quest Wednesdays

and they're going to try to do things before school rather than just get into the old habit of walking to the supermarket. Love that. Love a bit of initiative. And so she said to me, do you think we could get from my school to the city and back in an hour? And I said, pushing it at that time. Pushing it

but it's got the express way to bus. I'm a bus. I reckon you could probably do it. And she said, what should we do when we get to the city? I said, well, if you come up to the window outside work, I'll know you made it, and then you've got to race back and get there before school starts.

And so she mentions this to a couple of people, and they're keen to do this. But Capri, which is one of her friends, has said if she gets here on time, you've got to accept her end of the bargain of they get here, whatever song we're about to play get swapped out for who let the dogs out.

Why do they want to hear who let the dogs out? Because it's silly. 18-year-old girls want to hear who listen. It's a timeless classic, right? It's a timeless classic. It's appealed every few years it pops its head back up with the generation. Like Elvis Presley, you know,

it will just keep coming around. In 400 years, the way we listen to Mozart, they will be listening to the Baha men. Yes, listen to the Scra. Indeed, let the dogs out. Okay. So it will be next Wednesday if it happens. And it'll probably be around about 9 o'clock.

Okay, well, I reluctantly accept. Reluctantly accept. So they're going to pull up. up to the window at our studio, make their presence known. That's their end of the deal. I guess I'll flag that I can go and get them and let them in if we need them. Right. Otherwise if they're short on time, they're going to be in and out.

Are the listeners into this? 96.96. 96. So this is a challenge that we accept. By the way, you'll accept this. Listeners, we're accept this as you're involved. It's a part of the show. Yeah.

It's a long tease for Wednesday. For the Bahamian. Only if they make it on time. Only if they make it on time. And I said to her, if you don't get back to school and time, I'm not like signing off the late night, you're on, you're on. So if they don't get back, do we play the Bahamah men in reverse? We play the Bahamah men when they get here,

and then I guess we find out whether or not they get back in time. They're going to need to examine bus. They would, she was last night was examining bus schedules and stuff. Just hang out at Pack and Save or something. You know, it just sounds a bit. Well, I think they've been put off a little bit after. Remember that they were accused of shoplifter. Everyone's accepting on the text machine.

We're in. We accept. They say yes, seven's out of the show. Wednesday. Well, we're happy to help out with the site. I'd let it know. The Z&M Podcast Network. Christchurch's own Christopher Robert Parker is in studio.

Hi, Chris. Do you think they own me? Yeah. Yeah, I'll take that, the Golden Boy of Christchurch. Although I lived in we met in Wellington. Yeah, we did meet in Oakland. And I have lived in Auckland now most of my life. Yeah.

Or Haley likes to pretend she's from Wellington, but born in the goon. You're the biggest Jaffer out now. Oh, not! No, this is a good thing. We've got to return, we've got to bring back Jaffa culture. Just another friggin' Aucklander. Exactly. Yeah, right.

What do you mean Jaffa culture? Well, now, because I tour around the country all the time. And everyone's like, oh, you're from Auckland. Oh, how's it going up there? Like, everyone feels sorry for us. Whereas they used to be like, oh, in come the Aucklanders with their fancy coffees and their small dogs. We've got to be jerks again. It's because Christchurch got real cool.

Christchurch is honestly the vivacious city. And all it took was the total destruction of a city. And all it took was a devastating catastrophe. But we can, you know, we could, Aucklanders can do that, you know, let's put a pool under the sky tower. I think we're, just put a pole under the sky tower. Well, that's what Christa she's doing,

the stadium, put a stadium there, you know? Now, Chris Parker, you are, um, can we just quick, like, sidestep before we talk about your tour? Oh yeah. Your sister. Oh, my little sister. Liv is on, well, was on celebrity treasure island. A nepo, um, what would you call that?

Nepo castaway. Nepo castaway. Nepo castaway. And when I saw she was doing it, because I know Live a bit, and I was like, oh my God, she's going to be such a laugh so fun. But I thought, live in Chris's family, there's two types of siblings. There's those two and there's Liv and Chris. Normal ones.

And then the ones that are kind of missing bits of their bodies. Yeah, missing bits, their bodies and brains. And I was like, oh my God, Liv's going to be so fun on this. But I didn't think that she was going to, no offense. And I thought. No, neither did I. She was going to make it to the final three. And if you know that they're going on the show,

then you can kind of see how they're going to go by when they text you back. Yeah. And I was like, I'll get a text in about four days, I think. Oh, yeah. And I was like, wait a minute. I haven't heard from her. I was like, something must have happened. Like, a boat must have come through and like smash the island.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't still be surviving. Yeah. Because, look, full credit to her. Like, an absolutely, like, determined cast member. Yeah. Totally the most uncoordinated person. Oh, my God.

I know my mom's like, oh my gosh, she's so, she's like hilarious. She's like a little deer that just came out of the womb. It's like watching four strands of space. spaghetti, run around on sand. Anyway, so if you haven't watched the final, she lives in it. We watched it last night together. You know, how good is that? Top three, beautiful.

Well, it's good because you won your season. I know. She didn't. And we are weirdly competitive because it took us so long to get our driver's licenses. Yes, both of you. It was embarrassing. I used to try and press around all the time. And I still owe you about 35 more lifts.

Yeah. But my mum... Petrol is more expensive now, so let's just run. You don't want to commit to that. One lift to the air. But my mum would like fight us, you know, pair us off on each other to be like, who's going to get their license first? She'd be like, well, Chris lives is six years younger than you.

That would be embarrassing if she got her license before you. Yeah, but you won CTI. Exactly. And I'll always have that. Let's talk about your show. Chris Parker take a good hard look at me. You're touring. I thought you were doing more dates in New Zealand.

No. What about the regions? What about the regions? What about the region? Turns out so expensive to go to the regions. What are you telling me? No, look, this time, I always get around. Like last year I went 11 spots.

Yes. And this year I thought, I'm just going to take it easier on myself. I've got a theatre show at the end of the year as well. So I'm going to do just Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. We're not just doing... Well, I'm doing London and Edinburgh as well. Yes, yes, yes. But big shows in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch.

Yeah, so Wellington are doing the St James, which is a ginormous theatre. I don't know why. Like, can you please buy it are going to come? I think that's why you're here. Exactly. And bring, I don't know, like if you've got a young school choir who will fill up like 45 seats. Yeah, beautiful.

Beautiful. I know some people in there. Bring some scouts. Bring out of it. You're doing the James Hay. Yeah, I love it. You're doing Q Theatre twice. Yeah, the first, we're just announcing that there's a second show at Q

because it's sold out, you know. Nice, nice, nice. And what's the show about? Okay. Take a good hard look at me. Basically, it is my entire, I pick one totally random day from my life. And I go from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Absolutely everything I've done.

So it's like the, it is the day different each show? No. It's the same. I was like, I can't remember that many days of my life, if I'm going to be honest. But it's the most like uneventful day intentionally, because I was like, well, can I make the funniestest starting point? And from, is it from your life now? Yeah, it's the 10th of February, 2026.

I want to look at what I did on that day, just to sort of think, would I be able to make a show out of it? 10th of February, we interviewed 60. Oh, there we go. Don't forget your roots. You did forget them. I got a tattoo of an oyster. Oh, that's a big day.

And the ZM Acoustic Corner had a guest playing some music. I don't want to give many spoilers away from my show, but I did go for a swim and have a sandwich and hang out, and I hung out with my dog, you know. But there's a lot in the show. Yeah, okay. I love this.

And you were awake from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Yeah, yeah. I know. That's a long time. Well, because my dog wakes me up at 6 a.m. every morning, regardless of, you know, what time I went to sleep. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a nightmare.

Did you choose? this day consciously, on February 10th, did you think I'm going to log everything I do? I kind of was like, should I write my like I had some jokes up my sleeve but then I thought, maybe I could write my entire show based off today. It's madness.

I think into a point as well, because you make a show every single year, every year, new show, new show, and they're like, what's the next one about? You're like, I'm juiced. You know what I mean? I think I was, I'm trying to tap into a kind of like cultural psyche at the moment of like the world feels so

intense. Yes. And like, you know, we are living through what feels like the end of the world, but also, man, I have some boring days. Yeah. And we all do. And that's the reality of life. Well, if you want to go and see, take a good hard look at me with Chris Parker.

Not with Chris Parker. It's just Chris Parker. Well, you would be watching it together in a way. You would be watching it together in a way. I'm laughing at my own jokes. Either go to LiveNation.com or go to Chris Parkercom. Or go to my Instagram. Like, you'd be, like, people go to the Instagram buyers, don't know.

Who got Chris Parker. Well, there's a couple of famous Chris Parker's. one was the guy that unfortunately during the Manchester bombings, like he was a homeless guy stealing, like, phones off people. But did he get Chris Parker.com? I don't know if he's got Chris Parker.com. I swear he sells his phones. Oh, no.

And if you are looking for a cheap phone. Don't have the charger. And then I think another, an actor off like EastEnders or something. Like, there's another other famous. But I think I'm maybe the most famous Chris Parker. But I already, if you go to Chris Parker.com, you'll get something. No, it says Chris Parker.com took too long to respond. The site can't be reached.

You might get Chris Parker. dot org. Yeah. It's embarrassing. But he's on an organisation Yeah, yeah. I'd like the only of being an organisation. Get the, um, Cook Islands.

Chris Parker. com. Is that free? Dot. Dot.com. CK. Is that free? Uh, yeah, it is.

Oh, that's mine. I'm going to buy that. Hands off any ZM listeners, that's mine. Hands off Chris Parker. Dot Kock. The ZM's podcast network. Play ZMs. Flethawen and Haley.

Do your parents hate your partner? Or have them. in the past. Yes. And maybe they actually got in the way and drove you towards ending the relationship. I asked this because of a very funny, light story that I saw online yesterday

where a woman was sharing a chat that she had with her dad. She was driving along and she had a flat tire. She pulled over on the side of the road and she texted your dad. That's what you do. You text dad and say, Dad, I've had a flat tire.

You're going to need to talk me through changing this. Yeah. He said, isn't Jordan there? as her boyfriend. Yeah. And she said, yeah, he is, but he doesn't know how to change a tire. And the dad said, leave him. Leave this man immediately.

Jokingly. Jokingly. Jokingly. But she did. She did. She did. I just thought it was a funny thing. I think regardless of gender, one should know how to change a tire if one of

the will be protecting of the ancient motor vehicle driving. My dad taught me. Bring up the phone. A.A. Roadside rescue. They come and do it. And then you're on your way. Yeah, that's it. It's two easy steps.

I think I've done it. I've done it a couple of times. It's not hard, right? But I thought it was funny, especially that thing of like dads to daughters being like, no, no man is good enough for you. But I want to know genuinely if this has been a problem or if it's a silly little thing, do your parents hate your partner. I mean, sometimes they might have a point and you're with an absolute loser. Yeah, maybe they helped you see the light and they were wrong and you've been together so long now that you've proven them wrong. Oh, someone just messaged him.

My parents celebrated when I left my ex and they've turned up with the truck being like, let's get your shit out of here, we're gone. They were like, just took you a bit longer to see what we saw. Somebody messaged, my husband's mom hates me, has since early on when I started calling out her toxic behavior. Mom's don't like that. They don't like that.

Don't do that. They don't like to be a bit toxic. They don't like to be. I don't like to be. Totally. I don't say anything. I've been silenced you all. I mean, I birthed and you came out.

I fed you. I closed you. She would tell my husband that she'd see me out with other guys. It was just so many lies. And I was with him most of the time. We haven't spoken to her for six years due to her own wrongdoings, but she blames me and says I'm forcing him to be no contact. My husband's dad and stepmom, though.

Beautiful relationship with them. Oh, lovely. Unless you've still got Farno, but yeah, okay. Okay, well, we want to take your calls. 0800-9-6-96. Do your parents hate your partner? God. Wow, we're getting some messages.

Yeah, some deep-seated ones. Deep-drama. Georgia. This was your parents that hated your high school sweetheart. Yeah, so it was actually my brother. Right. I was with my partner in high school for about three years, and my brother, for context, he has autism,

and he's about two years younger than me. So at the time I was year 13 and he was year 11. And we, like, don't, like, we, like, never really got along. So, like, the crack up part was when I was with my partner, my brother would always, like, give him the look when he came over and, like, like, actually kind of, like, give him, like, a little bit of, like, a headbutt and stuff, so that was the way he kind of... I don't like this guy. The social cues, just, you know, they weren't there, and, like, that's fine.

And so when we broke up, actually, he, like, made a list of things that he didn't like about my partner and started sharing them around his school yet. Oh my God And so it actually reached my ex-boyfriend And he was wondering why all of these things are being said And I had no good reason Because half of the things weren't even true It was just the way that my

My brother had like depicted the situations And I don't love it though Yeah it was so good And he like never stood up for me So it was just the most crack-up situation And he's still now whenever I like bring like a different Like a guy home and stuff he'll always like to the guy

say, oh, at least you're not, what? Oh, wow, he's still like, oh my God. Oh, he's not going to him. Really hated him. He's the head. He's strapped. Yeah, wow. No, it was great. I love it.

The beautiful honesty of autism may just be like, this guy's a POS. And I'm like, the whole school, no. All of them, the rundown. All of them. Oh, my God, I love it. Oh, so good. Georgia, thank you.

Some messages in so many. We've got replies on Instagram. Eva said he, vaped in front of grandma, which was deemed absolutely unacceptable. Grandma probably would have preferred a seg. Yeah, and a... Smoke a dart like a, you know, respectable man.

Yeah. Smarter cigar like a real man. Anonymous Pleasade and an emo boyfriend in high school, they were convinced he was gay, kept saying. Oh, yeah. He might be gay. They didn't accept my partner because he was older than my mum. Oh, okay, yeah. That's never going to go down well at family Christmas.

My parents didn't like my partner because he got fired for punching his boss and refused to get into the job, so I was supporting us both financially. Hashtag teen love. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what I messaged in, my mom thinks my husband's a dick. And that's all they said, eh? That's what they said, yeah. My parents hated my boyfriend.

Now we've been together for 28 years. Oh. What's the parents' opinion on that? Surely they've come around now. My mom was happy when I left my ex. She casually commented, and they say in brackets, as a job. joke, I'm sure, that if he had any problems with the split up, we could just pop a Molotov through

his window. A Molotov? Wow. Yeah, my dad has secret tests for my partner. I've put it together TV cabinets. They've always failed. I'd just be like, go do that yourself. I'm not doing your cabinet? Or you failed. I guess I'll find someone else.

My partner's parents hate me. No idea why. After nine years, he's become a better man than he was. My parents don't like him in the beginning, but they like him now. So they just sort of have to crunch through that family dynamic. Oh, that sucks. Yeah.

My parents love him now, but they hated my partner for a while. We were best friends growing up and he had no job, which was automatically in their eyes he was a loser. Nothing going on, no hope. Five years later, went out together. He's turned his whole life around and I'm proud of him for, and they love him now. Oh, nice.

My partner's mom was feeling festive one year, wine glass, wine glass, one glass, and told me I was, quote, From the Devil. While I was helping decorate her Christmas tree early on in our relationship, fast forward 13 years and we're married. and we just had a first baby

and she loves me now. Oh, okay, so not from the devil? I love my partner, told his mum he had proposed to me. Her response, why have you got to pregnant? My husband has no filters and my parents and siblings hate him. He calls out all the toxic behavior. Like if they're just, you know, playing stupid mind games,

he'll just call them out on it. Wow. Get stuck in the middle of everybody. Oh, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. God, there's so many messages. My ex-partner's sister hated me for a reason I still don't know. She called me a foul beast on Facebook.

A foul beast. A foul beast. All right, William Shakespeare. We all openly hate my sister-in-law's partner of 11 years. He knows we hate him. He just shrugs it off. Yeah. You only have to see these people a few times a year, don't you?

Yeah. They cut contact with me when we got married against their wishes and spread rumors about me to their family and friends and parents. Well, the last laughs on me now, because as predictable as a Bollywood movie, they're trying to whizzle the way back into our lives after we've had a baby a few months ago and they were like, oh, we want to get on this?

And I said, no, no, no, I'm enforcing my boundaries. You're not allowed. Sorry. Take that. Oh, they won't back in now. So much drama. So much family drama. Yeah, I know, there's so much.

We've barely scratched the surface here. My dad definitely was not best friends of my ex and turns out dad was good at reading people. When I think of my ex, this song comes to mind, the grateful inmate, sung to the tune of jingle bells. Oh, so he's in prison. He's in prison.

He's in prison. He's in prison. Oh, what fun it is to eat a scoop of prison gel. Hey. The ZNN podcast network. And he's in the studio again with us. Brin from the newsroom. We're just blessed to have so much time with you, Bryn.

Actually, too blessed to be stressed, actually. Yes, yeah. Too blessed to be stressed. I think you guys just need to get more content. That's you. That's what we've done. Oh, right. Yeah.

Literally what we're doing. Yeah. That's what we've done. Because they were like, hey, Flatchforn and Haley, more, more, more. And we were like, no. I don't have more to give. So we got Chris Parker in, that's Chris. He did one.

He did one. Now you're doing one. You had your dad earlier. He did one. Might see what George is up to soon. Yeah, should we talk to her? Yeah. Before you know it, we're slowly, we're disappearing into the bush like Homer.

Yeah. Now, Bryn, this segment is basically all the news stories happening around the world that weren't enough for your main news bulletins on our radio show. and it's a segment we call Not Enough for the News News. That's right, yeah, just for more context. These are the stories that I just don't have time to put in there.

You would. You would stop. I mean, I literally... Do you want to restart it? I just literally said that, Bryn. It feels like what we did. It's double percussion. Sorry, I just tuned out briefly. Yeah.

Okay. Do you know what, Pete, you do? You know? We've been talking for four hours. Yeah, you do. Some other people might have as well. It's a lot more. Should we start?

It's overall mental exhaustion. Okay. So just to be clear, Brin does the news on our show. Yes. And he does the big news stories. But these are the stories that aren't included. Are you understanding that, Vaughn? In the news, in the main news.

Sorry, I zoned out there for a minute. So what do you understand of the segment? From what I understand, not enough news to the news, we get our news reader Brinan, who usually deals with the actual, like, big headline news. Correct. This is quirky news stories that aren't quite enough to make the book. bulletin but we like them so we get him to read the news. Am I correct? Yes.

Producers, thumbs up. Do you understand what the segment is? Girls, are we understanding? Okay, Shannon's going to use, but that's nothing new. Like, shut up and read the news. Keoldo good morning, I'm Bryn Rutkin. Rock legend Robert Fripp had a week that can truly be described as nuts. He survived a heart attack, had heart surgery, turned 80, was back on stage that week, and his only complaint is that someone

shaved his balls while he was unconscious. Don't you hate it? I ain't waking up in my balls have been shaved. I would love to wake up to shake balls. Shaving your balls. It depends on how well they've done it. It's hard. No, we're talking to hospital shave.

It's dry. I'd love it. Oh, I'd try shave. Yeah, they go dry with those disposable. Oh, my God, he's going to get rashy. He's going to get rashy. Apparently there was no explanation. No, Apollo.

just a smooth scrotal surprise when doctors said the surgery went like a breeze he said I know I can feel it he wanted to be saved not shaved good

with no explanation at the ready the hospital could only write it off as a complete balls up sounds to me like someone is getting sacked yes that's good bruce good stuff good stuff brun two chocolate news

and 11,000 pounds of Kit Kat bars are currently all over a Mississippi motorway after the truck carrying them snapped in half, which to be fair is very fitting. It is fitting. Clean-up crews are on the scene using only their mouths to hoover up the spilt goods,

and there is a lot. A chocolate. That's good, that's good. It's a lot, it's a chocolate. Authorities who are still wondering cacao, this happened, are pleading with the public to please. Give them a break.

Have a kick cat. Please, there's thousands. Staying on the roads, a Wisconsin driver saw a road close sign, thought, that's not for me, physically removed the barrier, and drove directly into wet concrete. Oh.

The truck is still there, cementing the fact that he is an idiot. That's good. He's been taught a very hard lesson. He saw the sign, it didn't open up his mind, now he is very much not happy. The driver has no concrete plans about how he's getting to work tomorrow. And finally, Nebraska police were called to...

Are these all out of the US? Yeah, that explains a lot too. Yeah. And finally, Nebraska police were called to a shooting after a human woman left a loaded shotgun in the back seat, popped into the shop, and her dog fired it off. Hitting a woman in the arm, which, for a convenience store run, is very inconvenient.

The woman is alive but feeling pretty rough. The dog. Yeah. Good. Well done. The dog hasn't commented, but has had his formal title of Good Boy officially revoked. Chargers are still pending, but possible offences include first degree, recklessness. Yes.

And failure to sit, stay and not shoot anyone. Yeah. And that's one of the first things you teach a dog. Yeah. Absolutely. Is that it? Yeah, that's it. Cool.

Well done to whoever wrote this. I got the email from Vaughn, but apparently he didn't actually write. Haley wrote it and said, give it and I got it and it was that good. I was like, it doesn't need anything. I just lost, I lost sight of the comedy. So then I took her name off the email and I forwarded it to Brune. It was very good. Well done.

I'll send it to him. He said, no, I want the credit. Yeah. I can see why you tour, you know. Thank you. As a comedian. Yeah. Shivers, guys.

10 out of 10 podcast, that one? Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that, which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do.

Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. Play ZEM's Fletchhorn and Haley.