ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 28th November 2023

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Sweet & Sour Sauce Revelation  Top 6: 5 Years  Silly Little Poll!  Spaving?  The Veronicas!  Hayley's Version!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletchpawn and Hayley. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday. Big show today, the Veronicas join us after 7.30. The lovely Veronicas.

Very excited for that. One's called Lisa, one's called Jess. And they are twin sisters. And their surname is not Veronica. What is their surname? It's an Italian name. Orgliziana. Orgliziana.

Orgliziana. Oh, okay. We're going to Zoom in with them after 7.30 on the show. Cold play tickets. Make sure you register for those. We've got to answer the phone when we call you back during the show with yellow. Yellow. Like their song. Or Rigolazzo. Don't answer the phone when we call you back during the show with yellow. Yellow. Like their song.

Or Rigolazzo. Don't answer the phone with Rigolazzo. Don't answer the phone saying Origolazzo. That's Veronica's last name. Yeah. Right. If you want to register for those Conplay tickets, ZM online. You've got a big apology.

I'm going to apologize. I've got an apology. Rich from the Sky Avon. Yeah. Rich. This guy doesn't apologise. We need to apologise to an absolute global icon. And I'm going to do it through the power of song

with a Hayley's version after 8 o'clock. That's right. Shania Twain saw my massacring of her song. Yeah. Talking over the start of Let's Go Girls. Yeah. And so, as your friend, I've stepped up to the plate to apologise because we do not want beef with Canada.

We've got a Hayley's version. Hayley's version, just after eight. Okay, exciting. The top six soon? Yep. How do you not remember last night writing this? It was literally 12 hours ago, or less than. Are you taking Omega-3s?

I don't know. Are you having your fatty oils? Are you fishy oils? Are you taking Omega 3s? I don't know. Are you having your fatty oils? Are you having your fatty oils? I'm not taking my fatty oils. Are you getting

enough D? I'm not getting enough D. You need some D, I reckon. I need some D. Does a D help the memory?

I do have to get some D. I thought D was just like sunshine. D is well-being. Well-being. I need some D. Okay.

Sounds like I've had a bit of D, doesn't it? Yeah. Because those supplement pills are so big to swallow. That's what you mean by that. Yeah. Now, there is a proposal.

It is yet, I, good Lord, I hope it's not given the tick by the new government, but there could be like a graduation system where year one, slug gun. Year five, AR-15. In New Zealand, my friends. I still don't think anyone needs an AR-15 In New Zealand My friends Still don't think Anyone needs An AR-15

Not in New Zealand No I don't think in New Zealand We need an AR-15 No We've been doing so well With 303s And 22s

And shotty's And Do we need an AR-15 Well Apparently The ACT party Have said That we do

And There's a graduation process Where you'd work your way from no gun licence to a gun licence where you could have an AR-15. I've got the top six other things you should be able to graduate to after five years. Also, before that, we need to talk about Sweden's sour sauce.

It's my favourite. Dudes. My favourite for the nug. Oh my God. Carwin had some throwaway comment about Sweden's sour sauce, trying to make producer Jared feel like a fool for not knowing, and I've got to be honest, nearly 42.

It was news to you. It was news to me. Absolute news to me about sweet and sour sauce. We'll delve into this soon, but next on the show, there is a public health emergency. Oh, no. I've got the details. Oh, great.

If you are female and around the age of 22, you are most likely. That's me. To fall. Oh, my I've got the details. Oh great. If you are female and around the age of 22 you are most likely. That's me. Oh my god that's me. I shouldn't have laughed that much. Why are you laughing? It's basically me. By 12 years home. Female round about the age of 22.

But you could die. That's me. Oh no. Because of this public health emergency, I'll tell you what it is next. Well, a study out of Australia from the University of New South Wales has looked at a real serious public health problem and it is death by selfie.

Death by selfie? Because you look at a selfie and you're like, oh my God, I die. No, it's you die taking it. Oh dear. They have found since 2008, 379 fatalities through media reports. Those are the people taking risks, like doing a handstand upside down on the top of a mountain. Hanging off cliffs and doing dumb stuff, jumping over barriers. They found that a lot of the deaths were falling from cliffs and waterfalls,

and it was the most common selfie-related deaths, followed by drowning. Oh, dear. People are just drowning. Just drowning, yeah. I thought people were drowning taking selfies. I was like, where the hell have they gone? Yeah.

So they found that females or girls are most likely to die with the average age being 22. Yeah. And they say it's actually a public health problem. It's nearly up there with drowning. And you think about all the public safety and the, you know, we've learned to swim and all of that, that goes into stopping people drowning or trying to save that. That goes into like stopping people drowning. Yeah.

Or trying to save people. Yeah. But nothing about selfie danger. And they're saying it actually is a thing. Not a lot of other, you know, or not, I don't know about not a lot of that, but like not everywhere teaches people how to swim with the same importance that we do. No. And then you're overseas.

And like, because I remember going to Bali and we went up, climbed a mountain and there was a river, know like a waterfall and there was a girl trying to do an upside down like split handstand thing and yeah we're all watching her being like it's very cringy because she couldn't quite get it she couldn't quite stick the handstand it's always fun watching someone do something they can't quite nail it knowing full well in the back of your mind you're like far closer than I could get oh yeah but I, but I'm judging. Look at that fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that idiot.

Get your legs up. Yeah, point your toes. Oh, for God's sake, you floppy. Oh, my gosh, she's got amazing upper body strength. She just doesn't have the technique. Yeah. But, like, she was on, like, slippery rocks and, you know, in a waterfall. You're like, yeah, you'll slip.

She didn't. She got the photo, and honestly, she looked incredible. Bitch. Yeah, what a bitch. she didn't she got the photo and honestly she looked incredible but bitch yeah what a bitch but remember there was that like habit there was that one photo there was a train

that kind of like went around a bend over a thing and people were like leaning out the side and dying and cause donk

that hit the yeah well that's the apparently that's the age 22 female that's your biggest selfie risk

of dying would that be on your um obituary or your death certificate? I don't have to put cause of death. But it would be like falling or slipping, drowning. You've got to be careful out there. Just do what I do and just make it really like under. I go under the chin. I like to open it on the table and I look down.

Give yourself a couple of chins. Look down and just like no expression. No chance of dying that way. That's just ready to upload. Oh yeah. That's just ready to upload. That's beautiful. That is beautiful.

Thank you. Do you want me to afford it to all? Afford it to all? Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll just print it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I didn't know how producer Jared approached this subject.

Can we go to the producer's booth? Yes, let's take the long journey. We're going to talk now about Sweet and Sour Sauce and what Jared and I have learned. Did you know this? I didn't know this when you said. Yeah, I did. You knew?

What made you ask this about sweet and sour sauce? It just popped up on my feed when I was doing show prep, and I was like, oh, I didn't realise there was a fruit flavour to that. Neither. And that's what we're about to tell you. Sweet and sour dipping sauce is apricot flavoured. You're talking about Nonald's dipping sauce? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, McDonald's sweet and sour sauce What did you think it was? I just not thought Magic I thought it was magic What did you think the sweet was? Because if you make Sugar

I hadn't thought about it Because it's always fruit based Usually pineapple And like Chinese Sweet sour See I would more of But I know that the And various other dipping sauces

Not just Nonald's But I Know that that's not a pineapple, but if you're doing like a sweet and sour, my mother's famous sweet and sour rice risotto chicken. Right. That's a big pineapple contingent. Now, is that a can of chicken tonight?

No, it was rice risotto with a ripped up bachelor's handbag. Oh, that's right. We never called the nose back in the day. Yeah. And she probably roasted it herself. And then a tin of pineapple. Yum. Like crushed or chopped up pineapple. And then a sachet. We never caught the nose back in the day. Yeah. And she probably roasted it herself and then a tin of pineapple. Yum. Like crushed or chopped up pineapple. And then a sachet. And then some sort of sachet.

Yum. I need that. It rules, man. It rules. And then I made it for my kids recently because I was like, have you guys ever had nana's? And they were like, no. And I made it. They were like, this rocks. It rules. This rules. I don't know why, but I just thought it was tomato or something. Me too. I don't know. I just thought it was tomato.

Tomato with like a sugar or something. Tomato too. I don't know. I just thought it was tomato and sugar or something. Tomato with like a vinegary something. Yes. Like it thinned it out. No, there's nothing tomato-y about it. It's fruity. But it makes perfect sense because it looks like blended up apricots. Yeah, it's light in hue. It's got that consistency.

It's got the colour and everything. But apparently this is shocking people on the internet. Oh, I bet. I mean, it's shocking us. And official McDonald's.com McDonald's sweet and sour sauce recipe blends flavours

of apricot and peach with savoury spices and leaves a slight lingering heat. I think that's a warning for my mother and her generation of white rural

New Zealand woman. Yeah I wouldn't say it's got a lot of spice to it. No I wouldn't say spice. Yeah right. It's got sweet and sour. It's my number one dipping sauce.

I actually don't even bother with barbecue. You are a real real I'm out there. Dirty girl for for stone fruit It's sour. It's my number one dipping sauce. I actually don't even bother with barbecue. You are a real... What? Real... I'm out there. Dirty girl for stone fruit overall, aren't you?

Yeah, I am a dirty girl for stone fruit. He's a dirty girl for stone fruit. You know I love a peach. I love a nectarine. He loves a cherry. I love a cherry. In fact, name a stone fruit I don't like. Peacherine.

Big fan of the blend. I love a peacherine. Plum? Yeah, I love a plum. Oh, by the way, the kereru are back in the plum tree. Oh my God. Yesterday, there were kereru in our tree and I discovered a karaka that I didn't know was there.

Tucked in behind another tree. How do you reckon kereru would go dipped in a sweet and sour sauce? Anything dipped in sweet and sour sauce. The amount of stone fruit that thing eats, I'd say it's pre-dipped. Delicious. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank.

This is the top six. Hello there. Now, I... What do you want? Q&A. This is the show hosted by Jack Tame. Yes. It's just time, but I always think Tame.

The guy speaks Some beautiful Ayo Oh yeah Really nails it Really Hell of a broadcaster Handsome Yeah he's a looker

But not as handsome As us so eh Oh he's far more Handsome than anyone In this room He's far more handsome Than us Are you kidding me

That's why he's on the telly He's TV handsome He's got a face for TV Whopper nips though Does he Does he have a big set of nips Huge nips How do you not He's got a face for TV. Whopper nips though. Does he? Does he have a big set of nips? Huge nips. How do you knock that?

He's got a row of them. Oh, does he? Like a sow. Like a cat. Yeah, yeah. Like any sort of animal that has a litter. Good, so we've dragged him down there. See what you've done there.

You were boosting him up too much. The next time you're looking at him, and I must say, they've tailored a suit to him because when he first started doing it, he looked like he was wearing his dad's suits. He's got good suits. Just for the record, before Jack Tame takes...

He won't sue us. He does not have any more than two nipples. Why? Have you seen him with his shirt off? I don't believe I have, no. Until I see Jack Tame with his shirt off, I'm assuming a row of nips. Okay. All right.

Well, let's leave it at that. How else would we know? Yeah, we'll never know. Q&A said, David Seymour says the government is looking at a graduated... Says? What? Says. Says.

Yeah, I always say that wrong. I've seen you. But I've done it. I've done it for years. David Seymour says they're looking at a graduated system for firearms. There is draft legislation which has not been discussed or adopted by Cabinet that says it would take around five years for someone who had never owned a gun

to get a licence and graduate to being able to access an AR-15. Now what does AR stand for? Assault Rifle. Awesome. You see, we don't even need to explain why we don't need those in this country. I don't think so. We've all seen the horror. I would love to hear him

explain why we do need them. What's the thinking behind it? Unsure. Yeah, I just... Well, at least they can't get them straight away. Well, I've got the top six other things you should be able to graduate to after five years. Okay.

Oh, nice. Number six on the list is a fighter jet. Why shouldn't you be allowed to get your pilot's license and then buy a decommissioned MiG? Why not? Armed to the teeth with missiles. Yeah. And launch war on someone.

I'm only going to drop them if I need them. If you need them. They're only there if I need them. It's just in case. Yeah. And you know the bad guys, they've got fighter jets. We, to fight the fighter jets, have to have our own fighter jets. Yeah, of course.

Number five on the list of the top six other things you should be able to graduate to after five years. This makes perfect sense. A nuclear bomb. Now, we're all using microwaves. It's a step up, isn't it? It's just a gradual couple of steps between a microwave and a nuclear bomb. With nuclear bombs, I don't know how to use it as long as I can just go 30, 30, 30, 30, 30. Yes, and then you've got two minutes to get away. And then just start. Yeah, yeah.

I can't actually time the thing. But do you know what? I've got a fighter jet, so I could drop that for you, but only if I need to, because the bad guys have nuclear bombs, so I think it's very important that we all have nuclear bombs as well. Yeah, yeah, of course, just in case. Our number four on the list of the top six other things

you should be able to graduate to after five years, owning a kiwi. Heaps of people have budgies. No one even questions it. Budgie, cockatiel, larger parrot, cockatoo, the big colourful parrot, kiwi. Yeah, makes sense. That's just a graduated process of bird ownership. Shoot, I'm going to

start with sparrow. I've never owned a bird before. Let's go for the smallest, easiest one. That's hard to catch. Hard to catch a sparrow. But once you're on the ladder, five years of graduating, you'll be able to have a kiwi. Number three on the list of the top six other things you should be able to graduate

to, a meth lab. Only after five years. After five years, you to, a meth lab. Only after five years. After five years, you're allowed a meth lab. You've got to work your way up. That's longer than I thought. Yeah, well, some people just jump straight into it, but that's obviously terrible. So you just want to graduate slowly from,

hey, have you ever put vinegar with baking soda? Have you ever dropped a Mentos into a Coke bottle? Step two. Have you ever... Step three, something, Coke bottle? Step two. Have you ever... Step three, something, step four, something, step five, Meth Lab. You can see how these graduated processes work. Cold and flu meds. Yeah.

And then you've got your own Meth Lab where you've got all the ingredients. Number two on the list of the top six other things you should be able to graduate to after five years, an old school cannon. Why shouldn't you be allowed a pirate's cannon? I think you mean an old printer. A cannon test jet. Grow up. Sorry.

Grow up. Ever pulled apart a pen and then pushed the thing on and then used the spring to fire it off? Yeah, that's so much fun. That's step one. Right. Three steps between that and a cannon does not seem foolish now. No, it doesn't.

True. And number one on the list of the top six things three steps between that and the canon does not seem foolish now. No, it doesn't. And number one on the list of the top six things you should be able to graduate to owning after five years. Number one, a slave. Oh, okay. I've got children. I can get them to do what I want. Like last night I said, go up the other end of the house,

shut the windows and pull the curtains. That's step one. Did they do it? They did it. Oh my God, that sounds great. Did you pay them? I did not pay them. I fed them, but I'll feed a slave. They did not want to do it? They did it. Oh my God, that sounds great. Because did you pay them? I did not pay them. I fed them.

Did they want to do it? They did not want to do it. No. There was audible groans. Now a slave dare not give me an audible groan or they'll get a bloody audible groaner, right? Can I have a hot slave that can service me in other ways? Of course you may.

But only after five years. Oh, of course. And you've got to graduate up through the system. The slaves. See how this works, guys? Yeah. It makes common sense. It is, actually.

It's common sense. Yeah, it's perfect sense. It's called a graduation system. That's today's top six. Now, we haven't girl math for a while, but you know the theories of girl math is all about trying to justify getting what you want and... Breaking it down by wear or purchase or use.

Yeah, this spaving is... I feel it's girl math adjacent. We all do this. I'm definitely... This has been called a toxic spending trait. The word toxic gets chucked around a lot doesn't it Toxic shopping habit apparently It's the act of spending money to save money

Spaving Spending and saving This drives me nuts When people buy like a super expensive Yeah A super expensive entertainment book Because it gets them discounts at restaurants That they then have to go and spend money at to make the savings.

Yeah, because then you don't, you never use it as much as you think you're going to use it. I mean, great if you're always going out getting something like that. Yeah, totally. But yeah, if you don't go out much, you're probably just going to end up spending money. So it's like making several purchases on three for two deals when actually you only wanted one. And then you're like, oh, I went in for one. And it's like, well, if I got another one, then I get a third one for free. This happened the other day and I was real proud of myself because I didn't do it.

But this would have been spaving. There was a Black Friday sale and it was spend over $100 and get 25% off. But the thing I needed that I've been waiting for to buy was $99. Yeah. And then I was like, well, I could just like, just add something on there.

A small, a pair of socks. It's always a pair of socks. I'm always like, I'll chuck a pair of socks in there. Yeah, the cheapest thing would have made my total order $125. Yeah. And then I'm like,

well, I'm spending $26. Yeah. To get a saving. And I don't, yeah, I don't need this other thing. So I'm, yes. And then I didn't do it But it hurts It hurts when you walk away from the potential of a deal

Because you're like, what if I buy two shirts And get 20% off And you're like, I only need one shirt It's like, well I'm going to come back for another shirt at some point And then I'm going to miss the 20% off So here's the most common list of spavings Buy one, get one free Yep

Free shipping Because then you're like Here's the most common list of spavings. Okay. Buy one, get one free. Yep. Free shipping. Yep. Because then you're like, you know, I always do this. I'll pop onto like a cosmetics, like Mecca or something. Yep. Get my moisturizer. And then it's like, oh, you're $30 away from getting free shipping.

But shipping's $5. But shipping's $5. And then I'm like, well, I might as well just get like another, you know, $70 item. Now I've got free shipping. Limited time only discounts. Some brands claiming that it's limited time only like get it now before this weekend. Yeah. Spend now and save this amount.

Oh and there's got some advice for how to avoid it. Delete your safe payment information but that's beautiful when you go on online shopping and then it's like boop doop doop boop. I've already got your information, Hayley. God, I love a twofer. I love a twofer. Yeah, I love a twofer too.

I love a twofer. I'll only do it if I need it. Twofer doesn't feel like a bad thing though, because you're just getting two for the price of one. Yeah. That feels like. Buy two, get the third free as a done one. See, that's a different one.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not as good as a twofer. Now I feel like a little shoppity-dumper. Okay, this was not the idea of this. Why am I doing that shopping? You know, it just makes me happy. It gives me a little boost. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly, It's amongst my favourite Christmas debates Up there with Do I have to pull the cracker with the person I'm sitting next to at the table? Or Don't you just choose? Can I just go anywhere on the table that I can reach with a bonbon? Yeah.

And what time is too early to crack into the scorched almonds? Breakfast. Bingo. Correct answer. Scorched almonds. Breakfast. Hardly up for debate at all. But which order do you eat your advent calendar in is the silly little poll today.

Yes. People got very angry in the silly little poll today. Yes. People got very angry in the comments. Oh, I know. It's one through 24. It's always 24. There's never 25 because that's Christmas.

Yeah. Christmas is full of treats. Yeah. You don't get an extra treat. But it is still weird that you don't get a treat. But the biggest one is always the last day.

What do you mean? No, they're always the same. No, if there is a big one and it's one, you go 24 to one. But if it's a big one, it's 24, then you go one to 24. Right. You had gross carob squares. Yeah. I don't even do an advent calendar.

I don't mean to poverty shame you, but you had gross carob squares, okay? I have really cheap advent calendars. Not all of us were opening up perfumes and candles every day. Well, you can get the flash ones, can't you? I know. You can get a gin one. I sort of want one. Yeah, I want one of those.

They always do Lego ones always every year. So I'll get myself one and then I've got to buy one and they're 80 bucks. I'm like, no. Oh, hon. I don't think so.

But any advent calendar where the chocolate isn't poured in the actual calendar is posh. Yeah, totally. Yes, when it's set in those trays and they set the cardboard off. They set it,, totally. Yes, but it's set in those trays.

In the plastic tray, and then they set it, obviously, and then just slide it into the cardboard. Yeah. That's good stuff. I love, I love. The poll results. Which order do you open them in? 1 through 24, or 24 down to 1.

92% of people said 1 through 24. Okay, that's overwhelming. Yeah. Overwhelming. That's one of the most overwhelming results of the whole year. You never get them in the 90s, do you? Nope. Josh said one through 24.

It's an advent calendar, not a countdown. Yeah. All right, calm down. It's doing it the days of the month. Hannah says countdown the sleeps. Duh. So she's working 24 down to one, which I like. I don't actually mind it.

I think it's probably better that way. I just think some calendars are set up to go count. You just got to adapt to calendar, you know? Yeah. One piece a day until about the 15th, then I eat all 10 at once because I have no self-control, says Shay. Right, yeah.

You're not playing the game right at all. It's still pretty good to last to 15. Hayley, not this Hayley, but another Hayley, spelt the same, said, wait, what? It's the calendar days, isn't it? So one is the first. In a million years, I would never have thought to do the other way. Yeah.

Who does it that way? I demand their names. They're psychopaths. Yeah. Danielle says the number is the date. Yes. It's a countdown to Christmas. I don't have to think hard to calculate how many sleeps left for the kids if you always

go 24 down to one. That's smart. Yeah. Smart thinking. I do love it because I've got a holiday countdown on my phone at the moment and I love it. Yeah, I've got one too. Because the number gets smaller.

The number gets smaller and every day you're like, hee, hee, hee. Hee, hee, hee. Yeah. But I don't know. I guess, yeah, it doesn't matter. And Amy said there's way too much thinking involved to count backwards. No, you just start at 24 on the first and you work your way down. It is hard, though, because all the numbers, they're not in order, are they?

Are they all over the show? Yeah, you've got to find them. Some of them are. They're scrambled, yeah, because that's part of the fun. Yeah, finding it. Oh, now I don't know because I'm considering getting one. Should I get one for the studio? An advent calendar.

No, because then we'll have to share all the chocolates. We can each take a nibble on the chocolate. Yeah. Aww. We need to have a corner each. Naturally. I want a bluey one. Do they do a bluey?

I want a bluey. They do bluey everything. Have you seen the bluey video game? No. I simply must have it. Oh my God. You can play four player. Yeah, they've got multiple Bluey ones.

Do you have enough friends to do that? No, we're a family of four. Oh, yeah, okay. Bluey and Bingo. Wait, are your family your friends? They're my best friends. Bluey and Bingo are both girls, and I'm the dad, and Sade's the mum. We are the Bluey family.

Right. Right. But do you have friends? We're the healers. That you can play with if your family weren't there. No and Sade's the mum. We are the Bluey family. Right. But do you have friends that you can play with? No, you're missing the point. I don't want to play with friends. I want to play with my family. It's embarrassing that you had to like make, you literally had to make friends. You had to like birth, make, actually like build humans

to be your friends. Because I collect them based on my personality. Right. And it shows. It really shows the pieces of shit that you're friends with. I don't know why he's laughing. It's the time of the year, isn't it? It's Christmas gifts. It's corporate gifts. Hampers.

I always buy. I don't really have a lot of people to buy for, but I always buy my like agent a bottle of champagne. I buy mine a cask wine. Wow. The cheapest one there is. 26 days till Christmas. Oh.

I'm so excited. That's not right. What? No, it is right. 26 days, 16 hours, and 50 minutes. No, that's not right because it's 25th of December, my love. Yeah, and we're only in April. No, we're not. It's not 26 days No, that's not right because it's 25th of December, my love. Yeah, and we're only in April. No, we're not. It's not 26 days till Christmas though because that would be the 30th of November.

It's 26 and a part day. Yeah, well, that's why I said 26 days and 16 hours. Yeah, but I'm just explaining it to the woman. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. I don't understand what the big boys is talking about. But it is that time where workplaces, some workplaces will give you a gift.

Yes, indeed. Now, Coles, which is a massive Australian supermarket chain, they received an email, all of their employees, titled Team Member Christmas Gift. Oh, what could it be? A huge conglomerate like that, a massive, bloody, they're rich as lords. And a cost of living crisis when we're all

spending heaps on groceries. Yes. Oh wow. It's been a huge year and we would like to thank you all for your hard work. Our elves have been busy making Coles water bottles. One for every team member which has a name section for

you to make your own. This name section is a blank white square on the water bottle that you would write and vivid. Hayley. I assumed that that had already been named if the elves had been making them. I thought it would be like, you know, are they trying to do that Love Island drink bottle thing? Are they like, you know what people love? A Love Island drink bottle. Yeah, true.

I mean, there's a mention about sustainability here. Maybe they've given them junk in the past and people have gone like don't give us crap. But then, this is an A4 page of the list of things they need to do to obtain their bottle.

Your store has been allocated one bottle per team member from week commencing Monday 27th. Water bottles will begin to arrive in store. Once they arrive, please keep in the enquiries office and the manager's office until you're a full team seller. Ensure water bottles will begin to arrive in store once they arrive please keep in the inquiries office and the managers office until you're full team seller ensure water bottles are not placed in the they've got to do all this stuff and if you do not

receive your water bottle by Friday 8th of December please contact the store help desk immediately it's terrible this is a rubbish gift do they look crap I would say it's like 600 mils oh yeah not even a litre. That sucks. And it's got the giant

branding. It's got the supermarket branding the length of the bottle. Yeah. It's red and it says cold. I'm not taking that outside of work. I mean what a way to thank the employees. But sometimes it's like employers don't bother.

Like with the junk and the terrible things and people get those like, but here's a $5 discount for shopping in store. And you're like, seriously? Anyway, I thought we could

take some calls about the rubbish gifts you've received from your workplace. Yes. You know, the end of year thing. They're like, we just want to take a moment

to say thank you to you all. Yeah, when they shouldn't have bothered. Yeah, and they give you like a nasty scarf or something and you're like, oh, wow, thank you. Sort of like the gift equivalent of this radio phone and topic. The what? It's quite rude.

It really feels like you two are just phoning it in. This is just, this time of the year, lazy radio. I'll say it. As someone on the inside. What would you like to suggest as an alternative? I think we could all eat porridge, hang out. You're literally phoning it in. Break them all.

Break them all, buddy. You are literally. I know, but if I'm the first person to accuse you of phoning it in, it's hard to then accuse me of phoning it in. Sometimes you are such a piece of shit $5 drink bottle. You're fine. You're a $5 drink bottle.

Carwin just said, as someone who wasn't even at work when we came up with this, this is rich. That's right. That's right. Great call from Carwin. Do you know,

if Ross Boss is listening and they're planning some kind of, you know, ZM team gift. Are we fighting? I want Vaughn to get a $5 drink bottle. I like it. This is our first fight. Are we fighting I want Vaughn to get a five dollar drink bottle I like it is this our first fight are we fighting

I don't know I don't think it's a fight I think we should let's air some grievances at the end of the year yeah okay we're changing now

anybody got anything they want to get up their chest alright fine we're changing what do you hate about Vaughn anybody want to get anything up their chest why don't you give us

a smile Hon I just don't have that sort of face. When you come into work with a smile. You know this is hard for me. I recently learned I don't have a friendly face. My wife said to me, you've got a very unfriendly face. Now that comes from the woman I'm married to and have been for 13 years.

She's going to look at that beyond the hours of the day, that we have to look at it. I'm like one of those dogs, like a pug. I look like I'm screaming for the sweet relief of death. You do. Do you want me to put you down? If I start breathing like Oh my God, I can't say if I start breathing like this

because this week I literally have been breathing like this. Yeah, maybe you are a pug. I'm a pug. You're a human pug. Okay, okay. Versus how we're changing again. What kind of dog are you? What kind of dog are you is the phone-in topic we're doing right now. No, we're not. What kind of dog are you? What kind of dog are you is the phone-in topic we're doing right now. No, we're not. What kind of dog are you?

No, I'm airing my grievances. Fletch, you eat far too much fruit, bro. Dude, no. You drink, you have far too much milk in your cereal. The guy is depleting the work milk and look, that bowl's half full.

I want to say this, you're a piece of shit. You tip your milk into the rubbish bin bag. You tip liquids into rubbish bin bags. Yeah, dude, you do not respect recycling here either. And I take a morning rubbish bin bag. You tip liquids into rubbish bin bags. You do not respect recycling, Harry. And I take a morning to the cleaner every morning

and I know that she has to deal with that. It all ends up in the same place. Do me. You get far too close up my ass when we're driving home. Drop! Get out of the fast lane! Go around me. I'm in a chain of cars up your ass, bro.

I'm the one behind shunting them forward. My ass? It needs to be left alone on the motorway. Okay, so Vaughan says reiterating, leave Vaughan's ass alone. Oh, well, not all the time. 0800 dial ZDM. You can text 9696. What is the thing you hate about your work, mate?

What is the thing at the end of the year that you've just had enough of working with your workmate? Yeah. That's what we'll receive. Are we having our first fight? Is this a fight? It's happening. I like it. I like it.

I haven't fought with anyone in ages. It does feel good to fight. Can you eat quite a... Can you just... I can see the porridge in your mouth. He always eats loudly. I don't want to go out for breakfast after the show with you guys. You strong-arm me into going to the place I don't like love. You don breakfast after the show with you guys.

You strong-armed me into going to the place I don't like love. You don't like fancy eggs. I feel like I've been strong-armed. I don't want to pay that much for eggs. I've got eggs for free at home. It's cheaper than the breakfast we usually have. It is fun. I don't like the setting. I don't like the setting.

Wow. Okay, wow. Wow. 0800 dial ZDM. You can text as well. 9696. It's nearly the end of the year. Only 16 more showsDM. You can text as well. 9696. It's nearly the end of the year. Only 16 more shows with these.

Who are you about to throttle? Who are you about to throttle? What is the little bit of grievance that you need to get back? Do you need to get off your chest for your work, mates? I've pivoted. I've pivoted. I like this pivot. It's a vent.

I don't like planning something and then you change it last minute good he's venting too he's getting it off his chest we're finally like let down the walls let down the walls and let us into your

holy city that's your grievance you want to hear when he goes off scrap fine I love nothing more than derailing the show

and babe I feel like you guys have got off very lightly this year I haven't derailed it nearly enough so I can I will tell you for have got off very lightly this year. I haven't derailed it nearly enough. I will tell you, for the remaining two and a half weeks, expect this train to be absolutely pushed to its limits.

And it'll be rattling around. I love this. This is the phoner. The caboose is going to come off. It's going to drag the rest of the train off. This is the phoner. What is the thing that has annoyed you the most about your work, mate, this year? Have a grievance. Anonymously. Oh, yeah, no workplace names.

And no names. 9696 to text 0800DARLS at M. And if this doesn't work, you're in big trouble. Still pretty cute, though. Because shitty work Christmas gifts is pretty good. You're not as cute, hon. You're 42 now. Grow up.

Okay, now we're fighting. Now we're beeping. He thinks he's so cute. Now we're fighting Now we're beeping He thinks he's so cute Now we're actually fighting Now we're beeping Gone rogue Now if you've just joined us It's

We've had a mid-show tack The wind dropped off And we've had a Team New Zealand tack Yeah we've found some wind We've caught a bit of wind And we are absolutely Motoring towards

The turning point now It feels good You might have missed We've had our first fight We're venting We're venting As a trio we've had Our first fight I don't know if that We're venting. As a trio, we've had our first fight. I don't know if that was a fight.

It's probably as fighty as we'll ever get. Yeah. It started off as, what was your workplace shit Christmas gift? Then we touched lightly on what dog breed are you? And then we settled on, what is driving you nuts about your workmates? Yeah. Do you know what's wrong? I would air a grievance with just the wider company.

Oh, wow. Okay. My laptop is sleeping within 30 seconds of not touching the keys. And because we don't have access to it, I'm going to put in my long ass password because they demand such high security on these computers every 30 seconds. It is like your Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible every time you don't look at your computer for 30 seconds.

Yeah, it's like... So that's just my grievances with the wine company. But we want you to just release the valve a little bit, release the pressure as we head towards Christmas, towards getting a break from these people. Shout out to the person who text messaged in, box of tissues, poodle, slurping their coffee. They answered all three questions in our setup.

So, I mean, I've really got to appreciate their effort. But we've decided to focus on having a vent. Yes. About your workmates like Vaughan who turn up late constantly. Literally he arrives and the show's already planned and he just does it. I don't know who he thinks he is. He thinks he's

the show wheelbarrow. That's why I'm planning the show mid-show. Just changing. Anonymous, good morning. What would you like to vent anonymously about your workmates? Oh, good morning. Good morning. Oh, my goodness. I'm a teacher.

I'm literally just pulling into work for another meeting next week in an email. Yeah. Right. Wait, do teachers have those too? Meetings that could be emails. Yeah. Oh, honestly.

So my vent is I'm a full-time teacher. I've got two kids. And I have the point to work at this time of the year to listen to young teachers in their 20s complain about, ah, I'm so tired. You have no responsibility. You're not tired. You have no responsibility You're not tired You have no meaning of that word

Yeah, I can imagine hearing younger people Saying how sore and tired they are Is just Very infuriating You have no idea I have a five year old And a seven year old That was your choice

Yeah, you did that. As a parent, you can't get holier than thou about being tired for people who don't have children because that was your choice, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can be holier than thou when you do a breakfast radio show and have to get up at 4.30 in the morning. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You think you're tired? Okay, teacher. What time is it? You're about to have How long are you 12 weeks Give me a god damn break No Anonymous Thank you seriously

Thank you for your service Oh thank you for your service I don't know how Anyone as a teacher I honestly don't Do thank yous pay For your life Because we refuse

To pay you anymore For what you do Yes thank you Just take some tax Away from me And I'll be fine No no We're just going to give you thank yous.

I'll start up smoking for you. Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea, actually. He hates cigarettes, but for you, he'll give them a go. Anonymous, thank you. Some messages in. Get it off your chest. Do you want to bitch anonymously about your workmates? If my workmate keeps clicking their tongue piercing

on the back of their teeth constantly, I may rip it out. What is it, 2004? Yeah. Wow. Weird. Didn't you have a tongue piercing is it, 2004? Yeah. Wow. Weird. Didn't you have a tongue piercing? No, lip piercing. Oh, lip piercing. Equally as cool. Are clippers bad for your teeth?

Yeah, I used to grab, hook the back of it on the back of my teeth and stuff. Also, can I just mention, I mentioned I'd like for Vaughan to smile more and someone texted and agreed. We're a smile horn. But they said, I don't look very approachable. Well, then it's working. It's your defence mechanism.

It's your defence mechanism. Some more messages. The lip-smacking, loud chewing noises coupled with big slurps of coffee makes me absolutely close to snapping, especially at this time of the year. Here's one. Here's one. 10.15 every morning.

She slurps a big juicy pear at her desk. Exactly 10.15 every single day. How is she getting a juicy pear? Pears aren't in season year round. No. And when they're not, they go very hard. You don't get a juicy pear. Yeah, they're not juicy at all.

Every time I get a pear, and very rarely, I'm like, it's so hard. I'm not buying a pear again. Exactly. Even in an imported Narshey. Yeah. A Narshey pair. Yeah. They're not juicy year round.

Someone said the workmate I have to vent about is the person that can make every conversation about herself. Oh, yeah. That's a bit of, in fact, there are quite a few narcissistic messages. This one would drive me nuts. My colleague has a squeaky office chair. Oh, my God. It drives everyone crazy.

I got him a new one and assembled it, and he didn't like it. So the squeaky chair came back. He's going to go to America soon, and I have a countdown on my desktop for when I'm going to push it down the stairs and throw it in the skip bin. Yeah, nice. I could do a squeaky chair. Or someone who shakes the desk. Now, we've had a workplace grievance on,

have you been paying attention? Pax Asadi shakes his leg. He's a leg juggler. He does that. Oh, yeah. And it rocks the whole block. And Ursula cursed him. She placed a hex on his family.

That's the TV show that Hayley got cancelled, by the way. I got cancelled. Because I had a couple of grievances with my employer. She got drunk and told them. It's the, the coughing, sniffing, and constantly,

so many people talking about sniffing. You would hate working here. And constantly talking to oneself in the office daily that I simply cannot deal with.

Wow. Everybody's looking forward to a holiday. Yeah, we've got, what, three or four weeks left of work, so just hang in there. Our boss just last week told us he's the talent deal with. Wow. Everybody's looking forward to a holiday. Yeah, we've got, what, three or four weeks left

of work, so just hang in there. Our boss just last week told us he's the talent and we are there to serve him and best not to forget it. Oh my gosh. What? Are you kidding me? Oh no, get out of there. Do you know, actually, reading some of these is making me feel a bit grateful for the people I work with.

Thank you. There's a text here, my workmate has the worst BO. You can smell it from the other side of the workshop. Somebody asked him. Now both of you smell delightful. Thank you. The smell of them is so bad it's permeating the workshop. Mechanic.

Or any sort of workshop. There's other smells, aren't there? Eating crayfish in the staff room. Who's having cray for lunch? There's more spinners. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Who's having grey for lunch? There's more spinners So we love a celebrity apology Hi guys Thank you so much for being here I've been listening

And doing a lot of healing lately And reflecting on myself And I just want to apologise for what I said. You're like, cool, thank you. Well done from your publicist. Yep. Well, apparently they did some research into celebrity apologies,

12 of which have happened this year. 12 celebrity apologies. Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, that was a big one. Yeah, that was. After getting behind convicted rapist. Danny Masterton. Danny Masterton.

And what they found is that likely 34% of celebrity apologies are actually being generated by AI. And then how many were generated by AI, but then just changed a few words around? Yeah, to make them slightly more personal. A lawyer's eye look over it. Yep. So that there's no admission of guilt.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, because I've got money to do that. Yeah, you want a little bit of deniability. So like nothing. I've written one. Nothing about them is authentic. I've used AI to write one. So here's the cues. I've got the app on my phone.

I downloaded it when it was all the rage, like when it came out. I haven't really used it since. Chat AI. I've never when it was all the rage, like when it came out. I haven't really used it since. Chat AI. I've never used AI. Chat AI, same thing. I said, can you help me write an apology for about when I was drunk after a bottomless brunch, I commandeered a boat, I ended up crashing the boat into the Auckland Harbour Bridge, and my name is Hayley Sproul.

Oh my God. I need the apology to be in the form of a public spoken apology. Do you want to send it to me and I'll do it? I want people to feel sorry for me. Do you want to send it to me and I'll do it as an authentic apology from myself? Okay. Oh, I can just pass you. Yeah, give me this.

As if I'm doing an Instagram video. Okay. Okay. There we go. All right. So this is your public apology for crashing a boat into the Harbour Bridge. Is it this whole thing? Yeah.

And I had to ask it to make it about half the length. It really wrote a long, long time. Okay. All right. Okay, here we go. It's very formal. Do you need some accompanying? Because you could say less formal.

Could she say in the chat thing, make it less formal? Yes. You just type in the thing. So I just go type something, make it less formal. Because it starts with ladies and gentlemen, which is very gender normative. Oh, you get cancelled for that. You get cancelled. Make it less formal. Oh, yeah. People will not even which is very gender normative. Oh, you get cancelled for that. You get cancelled. Less formal.

Oh, yeah. People will not even care about the boat being crashed into the harbour bridge. They'll be looking to cancel you. Do you have some apologies? What would be some apologies? I don't know. It's too late to apologise. Okay, here we go.

What was that song called? Holy shoot. It was actually called Apologise. Apologise. That was by OneRepublic. Yeah. And Timberland. That's correct.

Or do we want the Timberland remix or just the One Republic version? No, no, no. Because I think it was Timberland who was like, it's too late to apologise. No, but I'm apologising, so it's not too late. Oh, is this live? Yeah. Just going to wait for a few more people to join.

Just going to wait for a few more people to join. I love it when you see the start of a live and they've decided they're just going to wait until a few people who want to join. I love it when you see the start of a live and they've decided they're just going to wait until the number hits the supernova. I don't want to waste what I'm about to do on four people. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Oh, I love you too.

Thank you so much for being here. Oh, thanks, guys. You know I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Yeah, okay. I'll come to Brazil. Brazil's definitely my place. I've got to go.

I would love to go to Brazil. Oh, my God. Okay. Well, we've got a few people here. So, hey, everyone. I just want to take a moment to sincerely apologise for my reckless and stupid actions on the 28th of November this year. I recognise I messed up big time by getting, I'll say it, drunk at a bottomless branch and taking control of a boat.

And, well, you know, I crashed into the Auckland Harbour Bridge. I feel incredibly ashamed and, sorry, embarrassed by my behaviour on that day. Sorry, I was. I know I put myself and others in danger and I deeply, deeply regret the potential harm I could have caused. This incident has been a huge, huge wake-up call for me. It's made me realise

that I need to address my issues with alcohol and start making better decisions. And I just want you to know I'm committed to seeking help and making positive changes in my life

so that this kind of thing never happens again. I do want to address directly the Auckland Harbour Bridge authorities and anyone affected by the collision, I want to say I'm truly sorry. Oh, my God.

I understand the inconvenience, costs, and disruption caused by my thoughtless actions. Just know I take full responsibility for the damages and I'm willing to make amends for them. Maybe not financially, but in other ways. Once again, I want to express my deepest apologies

for what happened. I hope, I really hope you can find in your hearts to forgive me and believe that I will work hard to become a more responsible

and considerate person moving forward. Just thank you for your understanding. That was AI. Yeah, AI. That is nuts. The performance wasn't.

That was Toy Ficarri. Yeah, that was a $45,000 acting degree. That's right. On the back. That is nuts. The performance wasn't. That was Toy Ficarri. Yeah, that was a $45,000 acting degree. That's right. On the back of a free apology. Not bad for when I... Not bad. The formal one was like,

I stand before you today with a humble heart filled with sincere regret and remorse for my reckless actions. Yeah, right. And then when you say make it less, you could say that to Instagram and people would bloody lap it up. I also like to think somebody just turned on their radio as you started that. And you're apologising for hijacking a boat today, so before the show, drunk.

And Fletch is laughing the entire way through. I know, I love it. I've had a big morning. The Veronicas, Untouched, they've got a new single out, a new album next year, and they join us now via Zoom. Good morning. Hey, honey.

How are you? Really good. I am actually like, you guys have been my long time, I'm going to say it, girl crushes, and also fashion inspiration. As a young girl growing up as an emo, but still want to be pretty emo.

Do you know what I mean? Oh. So this is a big compliment. It's like the best compliment I've ever heard. Also the short hair. I'm loving this. I saw one of you had short hair and I was like, great, we've got to tell them apart.

And then you turned and I was like, God damn it. We are proper identical twins these days. Yeah. Hey, I met some identical twins these days. Yeah. Hey, I met some identical twins recently, and one was taller than the other. Now, that doesn't happen, does it? Oh, Jeff is taller.

Yeah. And an inch and a half taller than me. Okay, so it does happen. That's two from two now. That's two, okay. Maybe one sat for longer and stood for longer or something. Gravity. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm a minute older. I had a minute longer to grow. It gave I don't know. I don't know. I'm a minute older. I had a minute longer to grow. It gave me an extra inch. Ah, okay. A little extra time in there. In that minute, you were like, just trying to stretch out.

All the nutrients were going just to you and you're like, I am super powered. So if you'd stayed in a couple more minutes, you might have had a couple more inches. Yeah. If only I'd known. As a fetus. I think I've got a little bit more boob and hip, so I'd known. If only I'd known. As a fetus. I think I've got

a little bit more boob and hip so I don't know what happened there. So your boob and hip went into the heart and yours went to the chest and dubs. Because you're squashed down, right?

So when you squash them down, you've had to pop out in all the right places. Congratulations again. Jessie's got longer legs. She's got that extra leg than me, you know.

Yeah, but you've got the bootay. I got bootay. You got bootay. It's the age-old question. Which, you know? Yeah, but you've got the bootay. I got bootay. It's the age-old question. Which would you prefer? I'd rather have the high. I always want. Grass is always me.

You always want what you don't have. Yeah. Now, are you... Like, people actually genuinely don't know the difference. So I say all the time to Jess, like, yeah, put that shot in because everyone's just going to think it might be me anyway. Like, it doesn't. Yeah, totally. I don't want to brag that I've got the time to Jess, like, yeah, put that shot in because everyone's just going to think it might be me anyway. Like, it doesn't. Yeah, totally. I don't want to brag that I've got the height and the boot and the breasts, so we'll just

move on from there. Do you ever take a real, like, do you ever take a real bad photo of yourself and then you're like, I'm an outblood, this is my sister. Thought about it. When we're really mad at each other. The Daily Mail writes that anyway. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I killed it on this red carpet. Lease not so much. And then they'll write that I'm lease and lease is me.

And I'll be like, God damn it. No, it's true. He's always selling it, by the way. Always. He's my hype man. Now, you've had a new single out for a while. And a new album next year. Yes, yes, yes.

We do. Our new single's called Perfect. It came out three, four weeks ago. And the album's called Gothic Summer. It comes out in March. And we actually have a second single coming right before Christmas, December 15. You guys are getting the exclusive on that.

So, yeah, it's really exciting just getting all this music out that we've, you know, been holding and loving for the last, you know, 11 months. So it's nice. I'm excited for Gothic Summer because I announced this year, because I've sort of, I'd been departing from my gothy emo ways for a few years. I decided this year I'm going to make a return to it,

but I want it to be more of an elevated grown-up, so I've been calling it Posh Goth, where you... Posh Goth. Yeah, and I feel like you guys would click into this where you can still wear, like, expensive, like, blazers and jewellery and stuff, but it's got, like, a gothy... Yes! Like that. Posh Goth, babe. I love Posh Goth. Posh Goth. click into this where you can still wear like expensive like blazers and jewelry and stuff but it's got like a goth yes like that i wish we'd known that before we'd named the album we would have named it posh goth that's so good well they follow up album that's absolutely my aesthetic

um what is is it does it have a gothy vibe the album yeah it has a bit of like a um how we have we've been describing it like a little bit more like a, how have we been describing it? Like a little bit more of a morbid perspective, but also not so morbid, more as you get older, you get wiser. It's summertime, but it's also, you know, you've lived life and it's a little deeper. It's a little deeper. Deeper, morbid, gothic, summertime. This is my vibe it's a gothic

gothic summer is a goth with a tan exactly unseen yeah it's um do you know we're stealing that

we're gonna be using that for preps all day today have it all have it all it's goth with a tan we were also looking at the When We Were Young 2023 line-up, which you...

Like, if we could have been there, we would have been there, right? When we saw that line-up, we were like, this is incredible. Was it amazing to be a part of? You guys, it was so much fun. It was just, you know, a lot of people that we toured with back in the day

and have known throughout the scene and to just have that entire scene and how it's grown over the last, like, 18 years being celebrated in one place, it was, like, electric. It was so great. Am I right in saying next year, you say you've got an album coming out next year, that would be the 20th anniversary of the Veronicas, wouldn't it? Was it 2004, you guys? I mean, obviously born together before that, but that was the...

19 years next year. So 2025 would be the 20th anniversary. Yeah. Big plans for that. Big plans. We're definitely coming to New Zealand for that. And yeah, big world tour. So it's going to be epic celebrating some of the music.

The 20th. Oh my God. When you come to New Zealand next year, we can go Poshkoth shopping because I bought a harness recently, but it's like high-end leather. Do you know what I mean? That's the aesthetic. It's quality. We love that.

Oh my God, I'm so excited to see you guys. Like, it's just I don't want to say it's been too long, but I'm just like really excited for this. No, say it. It's been too long. It's been too long. It's been too damn long. You've been lazy. I know, I know. We're coming at the end of the year,

Rolling Meadows on the 30th of December. So day before New Year's, we're coming to New Zealand. We're so excited. Are you staying in New Zealand for New Year's? We unfortunately have to fly out the 31st, but it basically feels like New Year's. We're going to be treating it like it's New Year's.

Guys, so lovely to talk to you. Thank you so much. Dream come true. And yeah, literally, cannot wait to see you. We'll see you soon. Love you guys. Thank you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, when did this happen? A couple of weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago. I made an absolute, well, apparently a rookie error. Well, you made a great decision to play Shania Twain's Man I Feel Like a Woman for Friday Flashback, but then you made it an absolute balls up of the intro. It's Shania Twain.

You talked over Let's Go Girls. What? You talked over Let's Go Girls. Wow, wow. Who knew that was a thing? That's just a snippet. Because you did it again and again and again. You stuffed up that intro.

And we uploaded the video to TikTok. So many people coming in. This is the correct level of anger for this situation. That's to validate us for them. The instant uproar is appropriate. Both of them instantly angry. I totally agree. Completely valid and proportionate reaction.

There were like 700 and something comments, but there was one comment that stood out with a blue tick. Three days ago, Shania Twain said, never, capitals, invite me on your show. I was like, oh my God. Shania Twain herself. I thought, oh my God, she's actually pissed. Like I have upset the queen.

Yes, you have. Now, we immediately responded saying we apologise thoroughly for the efforts of our button pushers. She's come back and said, like, it's fine. I found it funny. It's not enough. She did laugh cry emoji. So I think she does find it funny.

Not on the original one. The original one was very blank. You know the original. Very snappy. Never invite me on your show. Well, thank you. Because next, you've taken it upon yourself to apologise to Shania Twain with my very own

Hayley's version for Shania a formal apology. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Hayley's version songs sung with different lines Well,

I'm back with another Hayley's version, almost out of need, I think, as a way to respond to Shania Twain because she's not happy with us. No. At all. And it's my fault. Now, we will remind you,

a couple of weeks ago, it was Friday Flashback. Fletch, you made a great decision to go with Man I Feel Like a Woman. Yes. To celebrate the anniversary, I think, of the song. Yeah. And this happened. It's Shania Tw anniversary, I think, of the song. Yeah. And this happened.

It's Shania Twain. You can't stop it again. You can't stop it again. What? You talk about the Let's Go Girls. Oh my God. Do you think he knows someone? Do you think he knows her?

You call your, you're fired. It went on from there. Then he botched it. He had the slider, the fader down at one point and it wasn't good. Yeah.

She herself commented on the TikTok twice. Yeah. She said, never, in caps, never invite me on your show. I love that. And honestly, that hurt because Shania Twain is an absolute living legend. I wonder if she knows out now that Wanaka has three supermarkets. Because when she lived there, there was one. Remember, just one.

You had to always line up for ages. We'll get in touch with her people. Someone tell her. Anyway, we did apologise on the TikTok, but for me, it's not enough. A woman of Shania's manner, standing, she deserves more than that. So I have taken one of her songs, one of my favourite songs, You're Still the One, an absolute beautiful ballad,

to apologise to her. So this is Hayley's version of You're Still the One. It's We're Sorry, Hun. Hope she takes this as a sincere apology. Yeah. It's in song form,

but it'd be hard not to. Yeah. Fletch should be fired for talking over Queen Shania cause everybody knows it. Let's Go Girls deserves a moment but he said it's Fletch and Vaughn and Hayley And the whole world stopped in their tracks

Oh no, he didn't talk over that We're sorry, hon, we're sorry that we wronged you By talking over your song. It's true. It wasn't actually me or Vaughn. It was mostly Fletch who committed this hate crime on the greatest song intro of all time. Who knows if his career should go on he should have

known better now Shania has seen and we've upset her she logged into TikTok and saw the balls up from this novice disc jock and she snapped in caps.

Never invite me. We've offended a true icon. Oh man, I feel like a bad woman. Even though it was fletched we know it's totally not fine to interrupt your iconic line but he insists it's part

of his job to say the name of the song as if people wouldn't know the moment she says let's go We're sorry he even opened his guard We're sorry, hon

I'll say this to the camera. Shania, we are humbly, humbly so sorry for the wrongs that Fletch did to you. And we promise it'll never happen again. Because we're sorry, hon We know we've caused you a lot of pain And for that we are sorry, Miss Twain Please let us make it up to you Please come on ZM So we can formally make amends.

Shania Twain, we're so sorry. Nice review. We're so sorry. Thank you. Thank you for that apology. Well, you're welcome. I did it on your behalf. Thank you so much.

Because it was all Fletch. It was not me involved. It is wild to see a white man sit back in 2023 and let a Maori woman apologise for it. On his behalf. Because he talked over another woman. I would like to

apologise as a fellow white man for this white man for making you do the apology that he should have issued. So thank you,

you're welcome and sorry Shania. Done. Nice. Hopefully she receives it well. Yeah, hopefully. Fingers crossed.

Next on the show. I had a meltdown last night. It was horrible. Everything was horrible. You're wrong. I still don't want to do it. Makes me feel a little bit queasy talking about it. Play Zed-N's Fletch for the nightly.

Play Zed-N. I've got to start. We're going to get to this meltdown I had, and the story leads to it, but I've got to give a shout-out to my wife yesterday. You know, we often will talk about our partners and we'll have a bit of a laugh. I don't even know that she's listening, so this isn't sort of like after any brownie points. You're not pandering. I'm not pandering to her.

But yesterday I was applying the second coat of stain to the deck. Now, I had a rough night before, so I got home and shouted. I said, for God's sake, go and have a sleep. You need to sleep. I said, I can't sleep because the rain's coming, and I've got to get that second. I was in dad mode, baby. Yeah, you were.

I was like, I can't. You know when your dad was like, I can't rest. There's a hundred things to do. Yes, and you're like, just sit down. And your mum's like, for God's sake, Ian. I'll use my parents. I'm like, like, just sit down. And your mum's like, for God's sake, Ian. I'll use my parents. Would you just sit down? I come from a long line of men that have trouble sitting down.

Yeah. And I was always like, I love sitting down. I still love a sit down, but if there's something to do, I can't sit down. Yeah, yeah. So, and she said, I tell you what, you go have a sleep. I've got something to do. I'll get home. We'll do it together.

I am immediately aroused. That's your love language. And my love language is acts of service. Yeah. Well, no. Me doing them for people. And my love language is acts of service. Yeah. Well, no. Me doing them for people. How slippery it got when she mowed the lawns for you. Oh, the desk is rising. So she said, when I get home and you wake up from your nap,

we'll do this together. Lovely that she also allowed you to have a nap. That's second hot. That's super hot. Yeah. So I have a nap. I wake up. Here's another thing. She's brought some lunch home. Oh, what a wife. That's sick and hot. That's super hot. So I have a nap. I wake up. Here's another thing.

She's brought some lunch home. What a wife. Acts of service. My wife. My wife. And so then we get to staining the deck. She's like, I haven't done this before so you have to run me through the basics. What do you do? Do you use a paintbrush?

No, we use a mop head. Like a square mop head well, we use like a mop head. Like a square mop head. It's lamb's wool mop head. Must be nice. Must be nice. Must be nice. Well, that's what they call it.

It's probably just some raggedy ass old sheep. Yeah. It's mutton. Road kill. Possum would probably be pretty good, though. Like a thick fur would be good. So anyway, you do that. You dip it in the stain

and then you squeeze a little bit out back into the tray and then you just do long, nice, smooth swipes. That's sexy stain. It's sexy. It's sexy application. So we work at it. To put it into context, the day before I think it took me eight hours

to do the first coat. I've got a big dick. It's long and skinny though. Yeah, it is long and skinny. It's not very wide. I think there's room enough for everybody. I don't think we'll call it skinny. It tapers.

It tapers. It does taper, but it's got a bend as well. It's got a thick end. You've taken the end out of it. It tapers at the end. It's got a bend that goes around the corner. Well, I want to extend it around the corner. Yeah, yeah.

So it took me eight hours, and yesterday I think we got it done in like two and a half. Oh, wow. Collectively. Many hands make light work. Yeah, yeah. So it took me eight hours and yesterday I think we got it done in like two and a half. Oh, wow. Collectively. Many hands make light work. Gather no moss. Light work. No, that's not it.

Never look many hands in the mouth. Yes. I know my sayings. Rolling horses, mouths to the sun. The early bird catches does the most bees.

It's rolling horses gather no moss. Gather no rolling stones. Rolling horses. Mick Jagger. Couldn't drag me away. Yeah, correct. Sure no rolling stones. Rolling horses. Mick Jagger. Couldn't drag me away. Yeah, correct. Sure.

We'll settle on that. So we finish, and I'm like stoked with it. It looks good. So I put a video up on your story. Also kind of highlighting that Shaday had really stepped up and come out and helped with the stain and then just like stoked with the end result. So many people are like, I need a stain in my deck.

What's that? God, I wish I'd just gone to Mitre 10 and said, hey, let's do a paid promo, baby. I'd tag him and I wouldn't have got all the stain for nothing because stain ain't cheap. So it's stain and people are like, what brand is it and what colour is it? And I'm like replying to everyone and people are like, looking good. And then I made a very big point that this was not by any means an invitation to anybody. That deck is big, but for me, I don't want to be sharing the deck with anybody.

This is like, oh, let's socialise. No, no, no, no, no, no. I thought you invited me to Vaughan's this weekend. Yeah, I'd have. Small group. You're allowed. Okay, good. Just checking.

I'm just looking. Yeah, boy. Yeah, boy. Yeah, boy. Yeah, boy. It's good. I'm stoked with it. But why did you have a meltdown?

This sounds like the perfect day for you. Looking great, looking great. And I'm just like, and a lot of people be like, what colour is it? What stain is it? So I've got a photo and I'm just sending it to people and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, double tap, like, like heart emoji,

like great work. That's a full-time job. I never respond. I try to respond to everybody. You're a bitch. You are a bitch. Yeah. I'm glad we all agreed on that.

Yeah. Did we? And just moved straight on. I was quack. Straight on. And then I like press tap, tap and try to press back. And I press call. Oh, what?

An Instagram. To a random. So you're calling an Instagram follower. An Instagram follower. And it's a video call. Oh, no. And I go back to the main Instagram follower. An Instagram follower. And it's a video call. Oh, no. And I go back to the main Instagram feed, but there's that little green thing up in the corner.

That says I'm calling. That's telling me I'm calling someone. Swipe it away. I'm tapping it, baby. I'm tapping it. And it goes, and then it starts showing me my story. And I'm like freaking out and I'm trying to panic. And then I'm like trying to close it.

And I'm like, it won't close and Shudder's like, what's happening? I was like, I'm calling somebody! This is your worst case scenario. This is the worst and it's like ring, ring, ring, ring, ring and I'm like, it won't let me get to the screen to let me hang up. We had someone following you and then it's like Vaughn Smith is calling you. Did he have your shirt on?

Shirt on. Okay, that's lucky. Fully clothed. And I'm freaking out and then I hear, hello? Oh no! No, no, hello? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. So they answer the phone and it's just me screaming, no, no, no, no. And Sade's going, just hang up. You don't think I'm trying to hang up?

And they're like, hello, who is this? Is this Vaughn? And I'm like, no. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So what I do is I swipe down from the top right hand corner and press aeroplane mode and then just skid my phone across the ground.

So we're hearing your side of the story here, but her side is, I quite like Vaughan and his content. I will follow him. Oh my gosh, he's ringing me. Oh, cool. Hello? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just hang up.

You don't think I'm trying to hang up? Boop, boop, boop, boop. Jeepers. I blocked them. Oh, no. I blocked them. We can never discuss this again. I am dreading being somewhere and being like,

hey, you left me on Instagram one time. No, I'm just like, I'm going to go home. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I'm sorry, I had to mute my mic halfway through. I had a very dirty burp. Dirty burp, dirty burp. Dirty burp.

Dirty burp sounds like a Gen Z dance move. Oh my God, do the dirty burp. Do the dirty burp. And it's just like the worm, but they think they invented it. They're like, oh my God, look at this. I'm like gyrating like the worm. But they think they invented it. They're like, oh my God, look at this. I'm like gyrating on the floor. Like everything.

Like everything. Do you know what we invented? Full stops. Feel free to use punctuation. Capital letters. Don't get Hayley started on her run in with a Gen Z in punctuation yesterday. You'll be here forever. Ever heard of a comer, baby?

Your fact of the day, please. Well, it's blood week here at Fact of the Day and we're learning a lot of things about blood. And I wanted to tell you that there is gold in them there bloods. What? The human body contains gold and it's circulated

around in the blood. How do we get gold? Is it because of those bougie bakeries before the gold leaf stuff? Trace elements of gold. They're like, oh, we're going to charge you more even though this tastes like nothing and it's a bit weird. Human blood contains traces of gold,

the total, and the average human body comes to less than 0.2 micrograms of gold. What does that equate to money-wise? I have done the maths. You need to be a serial killer to be making any money. If we milked every human, of all of their gold,'ve done the maths. You need to be a serial killer to be making any money. If we milked every human of all of their gold,

I did the maths last night and apparently current world population 7.8 billion. Okay. So if we milked every human of their gold, we would get 1.56 tons of gold

from every human. It would take a little bit because I'll be the one doing the juicing, so I won't be able to be juiced. I don't think, and I thank you all for your donation of your bodies to the Vaughan Smith gold juicing. Well, you know, you can self-juice now.

You don't even have to go to your doctor. You can go and tell them I'm due a juicing and they just give you a kit to juice yourself. But you'll be, if you juice yourself, you won't, I hate to tell you this, you're not surviving a full juicing. You're not surviving a full juicing. Unless I hook you up to a machine and I just slowly bleed you, but your body produces more blood.

Right, right. And then I'm accumulating all of your blood. Okay. So 1.56 tons. What, do you just have little flecks in you, little flecks of gold somewhere. How does it get made? Do you have the answers to these questions?

I'll be frustrated if you don't. No, I don't have the answers to these questions. How do you? Why have we got gold in us? You can't just bring us a fact of the day and then like. You say there's gold in us and not tell us how. Why can't I sip Hayley's blood and get a little couple of nothing? I've got lovely blood.

It would be next to nothing. Per person. I think my blood is a nice colour. Oh, like a nice a nice colour. Oh, like a nice shade of red. Yeah, if I've like nicked myself or something,

I'm always like, wow, rich. Well, it's on the new Roseanne colour chart, isn't it? Yeah,

yeah, Hayley's blood. Hayley's blood. It's part of our collab. Yeah, Hayley's blood. Now, was it the blood

on the way to the heart or on the way away from the heart? Because, you know, that looks a bit different, doesn't it? One's darker,

one's got more red blood cells and then they get a bit depleted. Do I have sexy blood? I've seen your blood. It's manky, yeah. Oh, okay. It's a bit, yeah.'t it? One's darker, one's got more red blood cells and then they get a bit depleted. Do I have sexy blood? I've seen your blood. It's manky, yeah. Oh, okay. It's a bit, yeah. Pale.

It's really pale. It's a bit, yeah. What's wrong with me? It's so pale. Pale. Yeah, it's like when you go to give blood and you do the little prick on the finger and they test your iron to make sure you can do it

and they prick it and a little bit of blood comes out of Fletcher's finger and they're like, ugh. Oh, yuck. It's got bits in it, like floaty bits. Backwash. Backwash. It's got bits and chips.

Yeah, it's got bits of like chips in here. Imagine if they did have to sieve your blood. Oh, Mr. Fletcher, your blood is full of cheese ball crumbs. Mince that through

a cheesecloth. Gosh. Could we, Blake? Could we get a muslin cloth, please? Yeah. Oh my God. Train this through.

His blood's like his water. It's a bit milky and stuff. Do you know what? Yuck. Gross. It's just pale. So this is where I hit the problems because I've just found the price of gold,

but it's in the ounces, and I had the... Oh, you need like... So if I go ounce to gram, is that what you want? Yes, please. Yeah. No, I don't know how to work that. Yeah, go on,, please. Go on. How do I turn an ounce to a gram?

One ounce is 28 grams-ish. So you need to divide your ton by 28. I think it would be easier to take Oh my god. Mathematicians listening are like, wow. 1, 5, 6, 0. 1, 5, 6, 0.

KGs to hours. These entertainers are thick. Okay, so 1,560 kilograms is 55,000 ounces. And I've got the price per ounce. And so I times that by 55027. 461. Dude, if we juiced every human and took the gold from it, current prices would have $181 million. $181 million, $918.

We're going to need a large machine. No, more, $918,720. We couldn't get everybody. And then when we did, we'd need a big machine. And who's going to be juiced last? Because that would have to be self-juiced because we'd kill the whole population. We wouldn't juice ourselves because we'd get-

We'd take three people off that. Yeah, okay. Well, that's- You need a minus us three from that total. Who's driving- Are you saying our gold is insignificant? What we need to work on is logistics. Someone needs to be driving the tanker of blood

to the factory now, and then we need to work out who's driving the waste blood out once we've taken the gold and the silicon. Because there's other elements in this, by the way. And we need a small community of procreators who are replenishing the people we've juiced. So we can juice more and get all the gold.

Just hordes of people getting down. Yeah. Glory avail. Well, they could do it. They just do it. Let's not go there. Well, today's grim fact of the day is that if you juiced every human of their blood, you would have 1,500 kilograms of gold. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I did not call it Muslim cloth. I called it Muslim cloth, but I do know I'm saying that wrong.

Muslim. Muslim. Muslim, yeah. Shade, my wife messaged me saying, you've done it again. Because this is when we had kids and I'd be like, can you please pass me the Muslim cloth? I'm not saying Muslim cloth. You're saying Muslim. I'm be like, can you please pass me the muslin cloth? I'm not saying muslin cloth. You're saying muslin.

I'm saying muslin, but I am saying it wrong. It's like a light muslin. That's so you can put that over your kombucha and cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or when you need to sieve your clunky old blood. Your cheese ball. Clay, Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Yesterday at the gym, I felt a bit of a breeze on my, on my butt, on my bot box. Did you do a squat split? Well, I was just walking. I did a workout before I did a cycle class, and I was just like, there's something.

Okay, I didn't brag about it. I didn't know it was exercises. I'm doing cardio and weights. I've got time to burn. That's why my body looks better than yours. I've got so much energy. God, look at me. My BMI is perfect.

I did not say any of that. I went on a hike at the weekend. I did not say anything. Why do you make us feel like this? Why do you make us feel like this? I liked it better when you were tubby. Made me feel better. I prefer him when he's a piece of shit.

Yeah. We know that I'm a yo-yoer. That will absolutely happen soon. You're doing that yo at the moment where you're at the bottom and it's just spinning on the bottom. I think it's called walking the dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, come on, go back up.

I'm still Newton's cradling. I'm too scared to let go of the yo-yo. The yo-yo is my comfort. But I was like, there was something weird and I was like, it was a bit drafty and I was a bit like, that's weird. I wonder if I've got like, maybe my dumpers grown and my shorts are too short. And I was like, it's so weird. Good for you though.

And I was like, oh yeah, maybe I need some bigger shorts. Just give us a quick look. Give us a spin, hon. Can I see the padonk? And my ass. Yeah, that's fair. Do you want to see? Yeah, that's damp.

But I was like, maybe I need to buy some new shorts. Maybe there'll still be a Black Friday sale. Anyway, I went to do the cycle class. Because he couldn't afford them if they weren't on sale. No. He simply couldn't. Only just getting by.

He's pinching pennies. No, it's a principle. You must always get anything on special. And so I went to do my pants up to tighten them for the cycle class and that's when I realised they were on backwards. So your bolos are in the butt bit

and your butt's in the bolos bit So where was the breeze coming from? Do you have an open fly? I think that the front is lower than the back And so because the shorts are backwards That's why there was a bit of ass crack Or undies And that was the breeze

And then I was like oh my god You couldn't tell because there were no pockets on these pants I've never seen your butt crack but it would make me giggle Whenever I see a butt crack, I love, I giggle. I feel like this is calmer for all those times

I see people at the gym wearing their top inside out and I haven't told them. Yeah. I always see people wearing their tops inside out and I'm like, oh.

I went shopping not too long ago and there was a woman who came out of the dressing room and she was like, you know when you come out to get a bigger, broader look in the out there mirror? Have a bit of a walk. Have a bit of a walk, see how it moves with the bod and she definitely like, you know when you come out to get a bigger, broader look in the out there mirror? Have a bit of a walk.

Have a bit of a walk, see how it moves with the bod and she definitely had the top on completely backwards. And like, and so I was like, and she was like, I don't know,

it's not fitting properly. I was like, oh, do I? I know because if you don't know them, you don't want to embarrass them. I know, I told her,

I was like, I think she's back to front. She was like, oh my God, look at me. And then it was fine. Okay, yeah.

She was fine. I've worn my gym undies inside out because I've got like a sweat wick. But women's undies- Wow, you're going to have to hold on a minute. What's a sweat wick? Oh, like the fabric's like a sweat wicking fabric. Is it like a sponge, a damp sponge?

Is it like a chamois cloth? Sounds like something to soak up sweat. No, it's just more like thin and like toggy feeling than, you know, a cotton or whatever. It's okay if you need a sponge. I don't wear a sponge in my undies when I work out. I'm not that sweaty. Sounds like you do.

But I wore it the other way. Sounds like she's got a sponge. A rose by any other name smells just as sweet. It doesn't smell sweet. A sponge called a, what did you call it? A wick cloth. Well, no, in women's undies there's a gusset. A chamois.

You guys don't have a gusset, which is a separate little, I mean, it is sort of a sponge of sorts. It's a double layer. A little double layer, and that was on the outside. And I went to wear it, and my gusset was on the wrong way. And I was like, well, that's a fat load of good, isn't it? I don't know. I thought maybe we could take some calls on this.

When have you been wearing it wrong? Maybe put a G-banger on the wrong way. Imagine being like that woman that was trying a top on. Imagine going to a job interview or an important meeting with clients or something, and then you've got your top on wrong way or inside out. Or, you know, with women's dresses, there's always like different straps and stuff, and maybe you've just worn the dress the whole, like back to front, the wrong way, and you're like.

What are these ones that are just the bottom half called? Pants. Nah. Is it a skirt or a dress? Which one's just the bottom part? Skirt. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever seen somebody in what was supposed to be like a long skirt and they pull it up over the boob tube?

You can just kind of tell it's I've got a skirt on now. You can just kind of tell, eh? But've got a skirt on now. Yeah, like that. You can just kind of tell, eh? You can tell. But they're just rocking it. That's a skirt. And you also know because the pockets are here. Yes, that's a giveaway.

And now my hands are on my breasts. Well, this is what I want to ask this morning. 0800 DARS.AM. Give us a call. Text 09696. When did you wear it wrong? Back to front, inside out. Completely wrong.

Just completely wrong. And did you go out in public, maybe the whole day and no one said anything? Or maybe someone did call you out on it? Why is it so shame, eh, when you can see someone's tag on their t-shirt because their t-shirt is in the wrong way? Alright, 0800 DALSATM, give us a call, 9696 to text

through. When did you just wear something wrong? Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. So me wearing through. When did you just wear something wrong? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. So me wearing my gym shorts backwards yesterday is nothing on what some people are messaging. And we want to know when you wore it wrong. Maybe you went the whole

day. You had important meetings and you were wearing clothes completely wrong. Somebody said, I would like at this stage of your radio show to thank the lady in the warehouse fielding yesterday for quietly saying to me, excuse me, love, you've got your top on inside out. Oh, yeah, it is helpful. She did it quietly.

She did it without judgment. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, that's really nice. Somebody said, I once said to somebody at the gym, excuse me, you're wearing your shirt inside out. And they said, no, I wear it this somebody at the gym, excuse me, you're wearing your shirt inside out, and they said, no, I wear it this way so the seam doesn't rub. Oh, you've got to get yourself some seamless.

Sounds like you're best to stay out of it. Kaelin, when were you wearing it wrong? Oh, good morning. So a few weeks ago I went and got a spray tan by my friend. So, yeah, she does spray tanning for a job. And I, well, we were about to go on honeymoon. And so like the day before, went to her place, put on a black G-string.

And as we're right in the tanning booth chatting away, she's like, she says to me, you look like a size 14 and you're like G-string or something. And I was like, what? And she's like, you've got your G-string on around the wrong way. So the first thing I think is, oh, my God, I need to like put it around the right way. So I instantly start taking my G-string on. Now you're naked.

Just put it around the right way. Yeah, now you're naked. Going like bronze and all that jazz. And then she's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's all good. It's all good. And I'm like, oh, it's all good., no, no, no. It's all good. It's all good. And I'm like, oh, it's all good. So, yeah, it was just a, I have done it, Hayley.

I have put the G-string on. Yeah, you have put the G-string on. I can't believe you put the thin bit up the front. Yeah. The catch in half. Yeah. They were really slush. But then also if you had gone through,

if you'd gone through with the spray tan, when you'd actually put a bikini on, would it have been a little bit more white around that? Yeah. Yeah, you'd have the wrong tan lines. It's just a mess all around from you, actually. The trick was to having the G, like, right over the hip bones. Yeah, high-rise G.

It was so high-rise. And then, like, the moment I start taking it off, she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, it's all good. And I'm just freaking out thinking, this is so embarrassing. I don't even know why I was embarrassed. She's saying everything. I don't know why she's got a problem with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. no, no, it's all good, and I'm just freaking out. This is so embarrassing. I don't even know why I was embarrassed. She's saying everything. I don't know why she's got a problem with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm bailing off. Thank you. We'll get to more of your calls and texts next. We want to know when you wore something wrong because Fletcher's shorts on backwards. We've got some doozers coming in. Nope, doozies. Some doozers.

A doozer is a frag of rock or slang for a member. I beg your pardon, some doozies. Show us your doozers. Yeah, I don't know if that's a thing. Hey, Shagga, get your doozer out. You know, it's just slang. It's a Hamilton thing. Okay, right.

I'm not from there. Is it? Anywhere with a good working class folk. Wearing your shorts backwards is nothing compared to some of these. Yeah. I worked in a five-star restaurant. One day I looked down and I saw that I had two different shoes on.

How do you not know two different shoes? The table laughed at me and I had nothing to do but laugh at myself. I just couldn't go and switch shoes because I wasn't

anywhere near home. Were they kind of semi-both black? Yeah, I guess so. They must have been both black. Yeah, like the same colour at least or style. And same height.

Yeah. I put my undies on inside out a lot of the time and then I'll feel a tickle and I'll go to the bathroom and I'll be like, the tiny bow on the front. Oh, the little bow. The little bow on the front of. Stupid bows. Why do they put stupid bows on? So you know which one's the front.

Right? No, it's really clear because the arse is big and the front is small. That's how you know. You know instantly putting them on, right? Yeah, you can really clear because the ass is big and the front is small. That's how you know. You'd know instantly putting them on, right? Yeah, you can feel it. And it's so silly that it is so funny. No one would see, but you're so mortified and

embarrassed that you, as an adult, put your undies on the wrong way because it's such a kid thing to do. Can you read the one from the beauty therapist? There's so many text messages. You read it because I'm at the bottom. You start at the top, I'll start on the wrong way because it's such a kid thing to do. Can you read the one from the beauty therapist? There's so many text messages. You read it because I'm at the bottom. You start at the top. Your knee's deep. I'm a beauty therapist and for years a client of mine used to wear the paper G-string backwards

for her Brazilian wax. The bit of string, it's just a string in this, not a fabric, in the front, right up the first looked like a block of cheese being cut with a cheese string. I didn't have the guts to tell her it was on back to front. I hope one day my genitals are described as such. A block of cheese being cut with a cheese string. I didn't have the guts to tell her it was on back to front. I hope one day my genitals are described as such. A block of cheese being cut with a cheese string. Such poetic, sort of Shakespearean level prose there. Yeah.

Really creates a visual. Now, in the light of time, off air, we discovered that producer Jared. It's always great to learn something, and he's learnt two things today. He has. Apricot is sweet and sour sauce is apricot flavoured. Yeah. I also learnt that. Jared, you tell us what you just learnt about sanitary products. I recently discovered that you don't put

the pad, you don't put it straight to the downstairs bits. What did you call it off air? No, no, no, the sticky bit. The sticky... Wings. Getting real shy. He's getting embarrassed.

He's gone red. The meeting of your legs to hips. Jared said off-air, I just learned that you don't stick it straight on the fanny. That's what he said. He thought the adhesive wings stuck to the skin. Yeah. And held it nice and close.

And the pad bit went into the undies. They go on the undies. I know that now. Even Fletch knows that. I know that. I would like to call for better sex education in boys schools.

I could not agree more. They're just like, women, you deal with the periods. Men, you don't need to know about that. They carted the girls off to tell them about the periods. Don't put the adhesive bit to the fanny.

And we're all just like, what? And then they pull out the tampon in science class and drop it in the liquid and it just goes. And everyone's like. Wait till you hear what I told Fletch about periods yesterday. It shouldn't do things. Oh, my God. That was HR.

That was straight to HR for that one. We had a light therapy session afterwards. See you. See you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice.

So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.