ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 28th of February, 2025

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Oscars Goodie Bag Gen Z Hates a Brioche BUrger of share plates Hayley's leg hair Top 6 Names for the plane born baby Sneaky Friday WFH habits Temptation Island is coming to Netflix SLP Pube check in AI has a creepy language What was your parents weird logic? Babes of the board Vaughan pulled his ass Fact of the Day When was the bad boy a bad idea?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Fawn and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Wow. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Wow. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Fawn and Hayn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Happy Friday. And happy wedding day to the wonderful Georgia Birch. Yes. Oh, my God. Good for her. She getting married. Oh, my God. And Shrek 5 trailer just dropped.

The day couldn't get better. And Zendaya is playing Shrek and Fiona's daughter. Shrek 5 trailer reveals Shrek's grown-up daughter and Donkey and Fiona both return. In theaters December 2026. Excuse me, a two-year long play, Shrek? Wow. Yeah, it's a long time. Firstly, how dare you?

It's a long time. If I was Shrek, I'd be asking questions if my daughter was Zendaya. How did Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz have... She's still green. Oh, okay. She's still an ogre. Right.

Looks like them. Just voiced by Zendaya. I was just making sure. I'll be asking questions. She can experience what it's like to be a Minga for once in a while. Actually, yeah, Zendaya, welcome. Welcome to Minga World. We've been here a long time.

Welcome to Minga World. Secret Sound is coming out. day. Welcome. We've been here a long time. Welcome to Mingle World. Secret Sound is coming out. Thanks to Superloca. Yes, $25,000 is the current jackpot. So we'll give you chances during our show. Welcome to Mingle World. That's what sparked in my head. Won't you come on in?

Seven o'clock, your next chance for Secret Sound. The top six is on the way. A baby has been born on a plane. It has been on a plane from Auckland to New Plymouth. Apparently when landing, the rest of the passengers disembarked and a baby was born right then and there. I've got the top six names for a baby born on a plane between Auckland and New Plymouth.

Next on the show, though, the Oscars are Monday and we're going to have a little peek inside the Oscars goodie bag this year. Oh, there's always some good stuff. I love it. Every year I get excited for this. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. God, these are ridiculous. These are the Oscars goodie bags that nominees get. So not everyone gets one. If you're nominated, you get

these. And a lot of these people are like super rich, super wealthy. The richest. Hollywood actors. Yeah. So a lot, like every year I'm always shocked by the fact that the goodie bags always have like liposuction vouchers in them. Yeah, I thought everybody in Hollywood was just a Zen picking now. Could you just do a re-gift? It's pretty retro to get liposuction.

Like you're just sort of retro. You gift your nobody friend some lipo. Your fat nobody friend. They turn up at the clinic and they're like, oh, we were kind of expecting Tom Cruise. Yeah, and you're like, no, so I went to school with Tom Cruise's sister and dated his

sister's best friend's neighbour. Right. And he gave it to me, because I'm a chonky monkey. And he gave it to me. But again, there's lipo suction in it this year. A four night luxury Orville resort stay in the Maldives. They can't afford it. So this is just anyone that gets nominated.

If you're nominated. Okay, right. Is this a lot of goodie bags? There's a lot of holidays. There's a Sri Lankan holiday. There's a Bapalona holiday. I'd love to go to Sri Lanka. Yeah, for the food.

For the food, yeah. The preferred station of New Zealandians good beaches in Sri Lanka apparently amazing beaches and like untapped as well are we going to Sri Lanka? I wouldn't say no the three of us are planning a holiday

at some point lots of like products and what not Omjiji which is a jewellery brand, like a huge piece of jewellery from them. Yeah, liposuction, body contouring, lip fillers. We've got a coffee table book worth $1,000 called A Journey of Iceland.

Oh, that would be nice. So it's just like- It's called A Journey of Iceland, From Darkness to Light Look that up Oh yeah I got it here Oh no I was going to say They're paying too much

Because it's Australian $33 That's another That's a cheaper version Or we could just get that one Do you know what I mean? Oh yeah it's pretty posh It's pretty posh Does it look so?

It looks really posh Then there's a section Where there's a whole bunch Of cannabis products Okay bunch of cannabis products. Okay. So luxury cannabis products. What would make a cannabis product luxurious? Just the chocolate.

It's always like bourgeois chocolate. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nicer chocolate. Feels a little edible. Then there's cannabis dog rolls. Dogs are on cannabis now too. Are you kidding me?

Dogs are on cannabis? Yeah. Dogs are the cannabis now too. Are you kidding me? Dogs are on cannabis? Yeah. Dogs are on cannabis. I guess if you've got one of those yappy little annoying corgis, that might chill it out a little bit. Oh, my God. We've got a yappy corgi on our street. A corgi's the yappiest?

Oh, yeah, they're yappy. There's yappier breeds in the corgs. Oh, no, they're yappy. Are they? My yappy corgi lives with a yappy pug. And off they go. Oh, yeah, pugs. Maybe you should thumb a few brownies through the fence.

A couple of weed brownies through the fence. So there's all this luxury pillows, luxury pillows for your dog. There's a lot of dog stuff. But one good thing, one part of this, oh, no, there's renovation services. Oh, okay. Again, they can afford it.

Who are the renovators to the stars? I don't know, just some like, you know, cowboy. Guy with a Toyota Hiace with a ladder on the top. Who says he'd be there at 12 but he's not, he's in another job. But they have a lot of the products have been sourced locally from California from businesses that were affected

by the fires. Oh, that's nice. So that's I guess a positive twist on that. And have they put a total value on it? Yes, they have. And that is a million dollars. What? Oh, no, no, no. Beg your pardon. So the cost of them

altogether. Yeah, there's a one place that is doing some of the charity work for the renovations, they've got a million dollars worth. I did have the range somewhere here. It was like half a million dollars.

You're just putting holidays overseas and a whole lot of procedures. Oh yeah, a lot of money. Yeah, it's a lot. So you can look up the full list online. It is exorbitant. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. You guys actually haven't said anything about the fact that I'm

sitting on my seat facing backwards like a cool guy I couldn't see it from my position your laptop's blocking. Do you know what I mean, like I'm leaning like I'm trying to talk to the youth, like I'm a cool teacher Is this a post-surgery? Yep Just relieving some pressure from the vagine Really cool. From the JJ From the JJ Feeney. If we can move

from your vagina to burgers. Fantastic. It's literally next door to each other. Good tact. Great tact. God, I love seeing how the professionals do a segue. And sometimes it's as simple as saying

from Hayley's vagina to a delicious burger. Some crossover. There's an online trend, and I can appreciate it, but I do feel attacked that the younger generation, the Gen Zs, are coming for the millennial burger joint. Oh. Saying, why are you paying $27 for a brioche bun burger?

It simply isn't worth $27. God, they sound like boomers too. They do sound like boomers. We've got plenty of food in the fridge. Yeah. You can't be hungry. There's fruit in the bowl. But they do raise a valid point.

When you order a $27 main, that's a burger. Are you getting fries with this $27? You should be livid. You should be getting fries. That's crazy. Yeah, tiny salad. That is crazy. How did this sneak up on us?

It's been happening incrementally. It has, from 18. We didn't even know it happened. Yeah, from $18 I reckon, and then it just sort of became $20. We were like, well, that feels right. I feel like $12 may have been even a price for a burger to sit down at a pub.

At a pub, maybe. I reckon it wouldn't have been a good burger though. It would have been big though. Yeah, it would have been big. We're talking about the burger joints, right? With the brioche. Yeah. And the American cheese and the smashed patties.

And do you want a bit of extra sauce? We've got, it's always truffle. Yeah, truffle blue cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, ah, yeah, why not? And then it's like, all of a sudden now it's $30. Yeah. And the pickles were pickled by, you know, Sally's grandma who died 20 years ago.

Who grew up in Picklestown. Who grew up in Picklestown. The ex-Soviet state of Picklestown, where the only thing they added to the communist regime was pickles. Great pickles. But when do you not feel like a burger? I know. Always. They're always great.

Yeah. Go to a restaurant or a pub. If you're not sure on the menu, you're like, it's the burger. Even if we're at home and we're having dinner and no one's sure what to want or what to have, it's always homemade burgers. I think I'm going to make homemade burgers tonight. It's a winner. Yeah.

What's your problem, Shannon? What's your problem with burgers? Shannon, hey, back off, biatch. Hey, I'm going to cry over this. Stop it. I mean, I know it's a lot of money. Yeah, I think it's the money, but I also think for me personally, the truffle factor is not enough.

We truffle too hard. I know, we put a lot on truffle. I get excited when it's a truffle aioli or a truffle sauce. Truffle fries. I feel like the expectation now is if there's truffle, you can chuck five extra dollars on it. I don't care a pig went hunting. I want chippies

for under five dollars. You know what, I bet it wasn't even a truffle pig. Do you know, and most times when it says truffle in New Zealand, it's parmesan, and they've put a tiny little bit of truffle oil on them. Do you know what I mean? We're not great at truffle flakes onto things. I don't think I know what truffle tastes like.

Like, I think I've been forced by you millennials to eat it with my $12. Oh, she pointed her finger. I'm sorry. Physically, she pointed her finger at us and said you millennials. Listen, you took away my intro and now I'm feeling feisty. Yeah, actually.

So if you're going out for dinner, where are you going? What are you having? Not burgers. Probably not a burger. I feel like the Gen Z thing is the pasta. Everyone's back into their pasta era. Wait until they get older and all those carbs hit them.

Yeah, and it's way until that metabolism slams its foot on the brakes at about 20. You think it's 25, but it happens again at 27, 29, 32. This article also came for shared plates. Shared plates. Yeah. Shareables. You're not into sharing? I think it's just like, what if I want more or you eat more and then have...

Shannon, we do think a little differently around here. I know. I just can't handle the change. I might cry in the bathroom. I think four to five small plates and a couple of large plates should serve the table. I mean, we just, we love it. We're eating communally. Yeah, you guys do it when we eat.

And I just, I don't know. I'll get what I want. Well, okay. Well, next time you eat a little bowl of bloody spaghetti. We've had this before. We've gone out to dinner with a group and we all did shared plates. And one of the members of our party didn't want to partake. And he just ordered his own little bao bun.

And I tell you what, we haven't let it go. This was years ago. In fact, it was just, what, two days ago? We were like, ooh, just get a steamed bun. Still mock him. How embarrassing. Join the shared plates.

I'd make him go sit at the kid table. Yeah, actually. I'd be like, actually, you go to a different table. We don't even want you here. You can't be near us while we're sharing communally,

while we're breaking bread together as a community. That's right. You take your bao bun, you go get your own little table. Now, can you pass the truffle oil? Yeah, oh my God. Endow us in truffle oil.

I've had quite a lazy little week because I had my surgery on Tuesday. I don't want to talk about it, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just going through some things. Just going through some things at the moment, but I'm fine. Thanks for the T's and P's. But yesterday, so I haven't been doing much, can't exercise really. And yesterday I was laying outside, getting a little bit of sunshine and I was trying to doze off.

I was in the shade at this point, don't worry. I was going to say, this is how you are constantly coming to work, sunburn. No, no, no, I avoided it. I was in the sunshine for 10 minutes and then I was like, that's outrageous. So I went in the shade and I fell asleep. But you know when you're asleep, you're trying to have a nap and flies keep landing on you? Oh, the worst. The worst. Just the pits.

Like, what do you want? You can't eat me. So I thought this was happening. I kept brushing, jerking my legs and stuff, trying to get them to just leave me alone so I could just have a little kip in the beautiful summer breeze. Then I felt what I thought was, very spidery house, my house, very spidery out west, I thought was a spider web kind of running up my legs.

You know when they kind of get, like a little string gets sort of caught in the breeze? Oh yeah. And I was like, this is awful. So I kept like trying to brush stuff off and it was relentless to the point where I could feel it all over my legs. I know. And I was like, I'm being attacked. So I kept trying to brush stuff off and it was relentless to the point where I could feel it all over my legs. I know. And I was like, I'm being attacked. So I stood up and then I was like, no, that's not what's happened.

There's no flies. There's no spider webs. What it was, was the gentle wind in my leg hairs. Lovely. Oh, lovely. Tossling through my quite long leg hairs. Yes, lovely. I've las through my quite long leg hairs. Yes, lovely. I've lasered off my leg hair, right?

So the stuff that does grow back, it's like fluff. It's like soft, not super prickly. And what you don't realise, like they're quite long, some of them. I can't really show you. You can't really see though from here. No, I know, but they're soft, but they're like, they're quite, pube length, but soft in texture. Okay, right. Now you say pube length, but soft in texture. Okay, right.

You know what I mean? Now, you say pube length. Every pube is different in length. Some people's pube's long. Well, do you know what's actually, that's today's Cilindra poll. Where are we at with the pubes in 2025? We're going to give you an update on the nation's pubes. Well, it was because yesterday we talked about the rise in pube mercants.

Yeah. People getting, no, pube transplants. But it was, so I was, yeah, that's So you're going to need, what, a little shave before the next beach outing or the next I think so because it was really distracting. It was tickly. How's that? How's that? What? A white male telling a

Maori woman she needs to have a shave before the beach outing. I witnessed it. I was shocked. I was appalled. And do you know, I just took it. Like, that's just I've been, what's the word? I'm just trying to help you out here. He just called you a fluffy tunny-fa. I think now you're putting words in my mouth.

I actually feel like you may have taken that a step farther. I don't think he called me a fluffy tunny-fa. I think he did. He called you a fluffy tunny-fa. That was actually my Rock West name. Rock West band name. I did. I tell you what. Fletch on the Keys for Fluffy Tunny Fah.

Wow. Nothing like it. Nothing like Fletch and the Fluffy Tunny Fah. Hey, you'd leave those leg hairs. You'd do what you want. Well, no, because it was. It was really distracting. This is what it's like for guys at the beach.

This happens all the time. You're always like, get off me. That's what I was thinking. So does the wind blow through your hairs on your arms and legs? Yeah but you just get used to it until like they're removed and then when I shaved my beard off

earlier in the week. Looking great by the way. Thanks. It's way shorter and I just feel the wind now. I'm like what was it? Because it was like a buffer. Yeah. You didn't hit a big cloud around. Get all your nose hairs out. And all of a sudden you're like.

And everything, just the air touches everything different. That's what it's like when you get a Brazilian for the first time. Yes. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. A woman gave birth on a plane that had just flown from Auckland to New Plymouth yesterday. Is the computer broken?

Lucky her getting to go to New Plymouth though. I love New Plymouth. I don't know if she was going to New Plymouth or going home to New Plymouth or visiting New Plymouth though. I love New Plymouth. I don't know if she was going to New Plymouth or going home to New Plymouth or visiting New Plymouth or, I don't know, had been sentenced to some sort of punishment and thus had to go to New Plymouth.

Vornellon. Banter. Banter. It's banter because it's Fletcher's hometown and it hurts him. So, flying when pregnant, you can board flights over four hours up to the end of the 36th week.

Oh shit, okay that's right up near the end of it then. I always thought it was the last trimester. No fly in the last try. So was this an early baby that was born? I don't know. I haven't got the details of it. I know that the baby was born. Everybody else got off. The St John and the airport fire rescue team

responded to the medical call at about 3 p.m. and then two patients were transported to Taranaki Base Hospital in a moderate condition. Huh. So they pulled it all out. The two patients being the mum and the baby? I believe so. That's sort of the indication of it.

I've got the top six names for a baby born in Auckland to New Plymouth flight. Number six on the list. Rima te kauma rima menete. Wow. That is 55 minutes in Maori and that is how long the flight takes from

Auckland to New Plymouth. It's a quick flight. You could just be rima menete and then for the long name rima te kauma rima menete. Rima menete, and then for the long name, Rima Takoma Rima Menete. Rima Menete is five minutes. Yeah. So Takoma is what you put when you indicate tens. Wow.

I remember this from Moronsville Intermediate. Takoma. Might surprise you. In 1994, best Māori student. Best Māori student. Wow. Got the highest score ahead of his time. Oh, this hairy tiny part of it. This coffee tiny part over here. Best Maldi student. Wow. Got the highest score ahead of his time. Oh, this hairy tiny fart.

This fluffy tiny fart over here. Fluffy tiny fart over there. Number five on the list of the top six names for the Auckland-New Plymouth flight baby, ATR. Oh, because that was the plane. Yeah, they were on an ATR. That was a kind of a plane, yeah.

ATR, but would you spell it like A-Y-T-E-A-R? Or just A-T-A, but would you spell it like A-Y-T-E-A-R? Or just A-T-A. Like, you know, just like a... As New Plymouth is showing. I mean, is the local word, no. I mean, it's not a baby or a personal... A-T-A. Not a personalised plate, it's a baby.

A-T-A. You'd almost sound like, again, like a Māori name. It might sound like a Māori name. Number four on the list, not does it sound like a Māori name for the top six names a Māori name. Number four on the list, not does it sound like a Māori name for the top six names to the Auckland New Plymouth flight baby, Bing Bong.

Bing Bong. Bing Bong. Bing Bong. And then the last name, Smith. Bing Bong. So Bing is first name. Bing Smith or Bing Bong if it's... Bing Bong first and middle.

I simply must know if anybody's ever met a child called Bing Bong. Bing Bong. What a name. Amazing. Bing Bong. What a name. Bing Bong. It's cute. Number three on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand Auckland New Plymouth flight baby. Matewa.

Matewa. Matewa. They do love a Matewa. They love a Matewa. And number one, no, number two on the list of the top six names for the Auckland New Plymouth flight baby. I just thought I'd got a little bit more exotic sounding here. Okay.

Pilotina. Ooh. Arabella. Pilotina Arabella. Pilotina Arabella. Oh, yeah. Arabella. Yeah, good. I like that.

Beautiful name. And number one on the list, this is Fletcher's suggestion of the top six names of the baby born on the Auckland New Plymouth flight. Green Lolly. Brilliant. That's so good. Was that Fletcher's suggestion at the end? Fletcher's suggestion, Green Lolly.

And it sent me through. This would make a great top six. This is behind the scenes. Someone suggested top six. The new rule is they have to suggest at least one or two ideas of the top six. Fletcher said top six names of the Auckland-New Plymouth flight, baby. Idea. Green Lolly. Green Lolly. So it's number one. Oh, F Auckland New Plymouth Fly Baby. Idea. Green lolly.

Green lolly. So it's number one. Oh, Fletch. Green's terrible. It's the best lolly. It's the best lolly. Those white ones or the yellow blue. Yellow's best.

No, green's best. You're trash. You're trash, ATR. Do you like yellow dinosaurs and snakes as well? Yeah, I love yellow lollies. I love all yellow lollies. I thought I liked you. No, but we all agree that orange sucks.

Nah, orange is second to least favourite for me. Yellow's the worst. But that's okay because on a roadie, you get the yuck ones. And then I get the purple, green and red. I think that was a great top six other than the last one. And I feel like, Vaughan, you could have just done it yourself and backed yourself because it's fallen over because of your friend. It stumbled at the last block.

Yeah. I think the last one was the best one. It sucked. They were all clever, well thought out. Oh, Bing Bong is better than Green Lolly for a name. Bingo. Bingo. Bingo is better than Green Lolly.

That's today's top six. It's Friday. If you work a traditional Monday to Friday week, Friday's a great day. You just got to get through the day, then it's the week. It's the freaking weekend, I believe is what we say.

But apparently on the rise is the sneaky Friday. And this is particularly for people who work from home, who have maybe some flexibility around their work. You know, they're not being monitored constantly. Yeah. They don't have any, like, particular time pressures of the day. Because a lot of workplaces have cracked down on this and said, since the pandemic and, you know, all this work from home flexibility,

you've got to be in at work now. Get your ass into the office. Get in here. Get in here. But a lot of places are still pretty chill about it. Yeah. So Sneaky Fridays are basically you are technically working, your ass into the office. Get in here. Get in here. But a lot of places are still pretty chill about it. Yeah, so sneaky Fridays are basically you are technically working

but you are using that day to do a face mask, start a little bit later, maybe pop out for a lunch, maybe fly down early for a weekend. Yeah, catch that flight somewhere. Make it a sort of informal long weekend but I'm technically still on the clock. Yeah. And people

are like basically taking the piss for these sneaky Fridays and not really doing much at all. Yeah. Now a lot of people who are saying oh I do sneaky Friday are like but I work harder Monday to Thursday to make sure that everything's kind of done. If you're getting your work done there's no problem right? That's where I'm always who cares as long as you're getting your work done.

But they're not they're not legitimate. Like they haven't said to their boss, hey, I've finished my work for the week, so I'm going to take Friday. They are sort of still clocking in, If you do a job where you need to be on call on that Friday, like something could come up,

then you've got to be able to do it. But honestly, if you'll set a certain amount of tasks a week and you can get them all done and on Friday, neither here nor there, I've never seen the problem. I'd be a cool boss. Yeah, you would be a sick boss. I'd be a sick boss. The company would go down the bloody Googler if you were the boss.

It would be. I'd just be like, park wherever you want. Yeah. But I've sworn there's only five parks. I'd be like, park wherever you want. Yeah. But I've... Devon, there's only five parks. I'd be like, first and first serve. First and first serve. Get in early. Yeah.

I've seen this with friends, been out for friends with lunch on Friday and they've been like, had their phone out, just making themselves active on like, whatever it is, Teams or whatever they use. Or I've travelled with friends. Yeah.

And you're like, okay, I'm going to head down early on a Friday for the weekend. And then they'll be like, okay, yeah, yeah, but I'm still technically working. They might have their laptop nearby. Oh yeah, I'm going to head down early on a Friday for the weekend and then they'll be like, okay, yeah, yeah, but I'm still technically working. They might have their laptop nearby. Oh, yeah, I've been in a car while someone's been on their laptop working.

I don't have any friends. And been like, oh, everyone, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. You guys are my only friends. Hi, guys. Oh, babe. Are we? Yeah. Oh.

Didn't want to bring the mood down on Friday or anything. Oh, my God, that's our friend James. Shush, shush, shush, shush. We're called. I've seen. Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. We're called. Hello. No, no, no, no, no, no. Hello there. Hey, it's our friend James. Shush, shush, shush, shush. We're called. I've seen. Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. We're called. Hello.

Hello there. It's all fun and games. Everybody stop. Hold on just a minute. Oh, interesting. Yes, so I emailed her on Thursday and I said. And we're all just like in the car just like, don't even cough. Yeah, yeah.

Don't make a sound. Don't make a sound. No one say, yay, we're going to the beach. Yeah. Do you think people that work in the office that are like, I have to go into an office, do you think they resent people that are work from homers? Well, look.

Or people that don't have jobs very well? We don't call them that anymore. No, we don't call them work from homers. It's work from homosexuals. Use the full term, please. Work from homosexuals. I apologise. And in Pride Month too.

The last day of Pride Month. Oh, my gosh. Oh, how dare I. You've come for everyone this morning. But do you think people do resent, like there are so many jobs where you can't work from home. We have to be in here. I mean, technically we could be on Zoom,

but it's not the same. But like we have to be in here. We were just mentioning the fact, and it doesn't happen often, but sometimes when we have these midweek concerts, you know, like a huge artist comes to New Zealand midweek. Oh, yeah. Sometimes the office girlies may be the next day.

Working from home. It's like... Or coming in much later. I respect them way more if they're rolling on time looking like shit. Right, like we had to. And then they just get on a beanbag, at least they're here.

When you start at eight o'clock and you're like... Yeah. All right. Some messages in, I'm doing Sneaky Friday today. Somebody else said, I'm taking a Sneaky Friday because it's a great day to mow the lawns. I'm going to mow the lawns on my Sneaky Friday. I was going to say, are they messaging on their way to the airport

to start their long weekend? Yeah. Now, someone said, I do this with my staff. So, does that mean that they're the boss? Called F all Fridays. Like, just get it done. And then do F all on Friday. And then F all on Friday, bare minimum,

so you can all F off for the weekend. Well, the problem is if you run a business and you pick off a big job on Friday, if something goes wrong, you've got to leave it half done. My gran had always said, you don't start a job that's going to need a part when the shop that sells the parts is shut. That's sort of, I reckon he could have workshopped that.

He could have worked it shorter. I'm just saying with love and respect. He'd say something like, don't start that at five. Yeah, right. No, I totally agree with the sentiment, but I'm not going to wear it on a T-shirt. Keep workshopping that. Keep workshopping that.

Keep workshopping that. Before you show it at some kind of team building day. But he also lived way out of town, and in the olden days the shops would shut all the time. The hardware store wasn't open on the weekends. This girl got on the back of the T-shirt. Yeah, because my granddad who came up with this for me. Don't start a job at five and then on the back it says,

just to explain the front, my granddad used to say this. Yeah, again, I'd probably just keep it simple. You reckon? Workshop it a bit more. I don't think you're going to be seeing it in our merch store. Okay. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Now, I'm going to bring Shannon in here because I'm surrounded by men. We've actually lost a woman, Carwen. We don't know where she is. She's gone. Nah, she's at the wedding. She's at George's wedding. We've got Dylan here.

But Shannon, there's a new, well, it's not new. It's a return of a great reality series. Yes, but it's coming to Netflix and I physically couldn't be more excited. Now, when I said that Vaughan's going to be excited about this, I spoke in jest. It was sarcasm.

Oh, right. He's going to hate it. Oh, God, it's going to be on an island. Okay. Is it on an island? Anything on an island, I'm out. Well, here's the clue as to whether or not it's on an island. Lost was a reality TV show.

But also, by the end, I was out. Wait, what? Lost wasn't real? That was one of my favourite documentary series of all time. It wasn't a documentary of the early 2000s, no. What? This has really rocked my day. Well, it's called Temptation Island.

So there's a clue in the title as to whether or not it's on an island. So this, where did this used to be? Because this isn't new. Fox. Oh, right, okay. It's been on Fox and another American station, but now it's coming to Netflix. It's been on Fox and another American station, but now it's coming to Netflix. It's getting the Netflix treatment.

Right. And Shannon, can you explain it so there's like that straight couples being tempted? Yeah, so basically they send four couples over and these are obviously couples who signed up for the show. Yeah. Just say how it is. Yeah.

And they will split the couples up, so there'll be the girls' house and the boys' house. And they will then send in a bunch of hotties into these houses to tempt these people in monogamous relationships. This is just gay. Gay life, what? This is called gay island.

Wait, so the women that go into the men's house aren't the women of other partners. They're just single women. They're just single women. Single women who want a hottie. How many people are in the house? I believe, so from what I've seen, there's going to be four people who are in monogamous relationships and about 12 singles coming in.

Monogamous. Again, the trashy version of. The version with Netflix that I'm seeing and the thing everyone's most excited for, there's a bit of extra temptation. So there's going to be a room in each of the houses that doesn't have cameras so the people can get up to whatever they want.

Like pluck my nipple hairs. Do you know what I mean? I'm not doing that on camera. But if you go into that room, your partner will get a notification. So you'll be in the other house just living your best life and then be like, oh, Ceezy's gone into the camera-less room. You've gone into your nipples though, but then

your nipple hairs, but your partner doesn't know what you've gone in for. Aaron would know. He'd be like, it's been a week. They're coming through again. She'll be embarrassed. She won't want to do it on camera. That's why she's gone into the camera-less room. This is just again another, I'm so close to

switching off the internet. Yeah, I mean, it's real messed up. Obviously, you'll go paranoid. We're bored, eh? Yeah, yeah. As a player, we're bored. Read a book.

Watch a show that's been beautifully structured. It's not tearing people's lives apart. Should we get a fresh perspective? Temporary producer Dylan. Lovely to have you.

What's your take on Temptation Island? I've actually seen this before, and I want to hate it, but it's actually addictive. It's so bad. Like crack cocaine, Dylan. Which you know is not good for you,

but it's highly addictive. And you want more and more and more, and you care less about the quality the more that you need it. Exactly, you're just hunting for that high. Yeah. Well, you know that I've given up on the Kardashians. This could be your new show.

There's a void that, you know, maths isn't filling at the moment because it's only four days a week. When's it starting? March 12th. Jesus. How long have I got to Dylan talk? 30 seconds?

Yeah. Is temporary Dylan starting? Great voice. Horny. I would say Dylan is as attractive as his voice sounds too. Oh, high compliment. Yeah, he's a cutie. We've got a cutie on our hands. Let's just say if there was a room we could go into with no cameras.

Sade would be getting a text. What? I'm 43 now. You've got to try these things before you die. Sweet. Beautiful boy. He's a beautiful baby boy. That's so sweet. Oh, God. Beautiful boy. You can't say this. He's a beautiful baby boy.

He's our Tim. He's my beautiful little baby boy. Oh, my God. Play Zedim's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little boys. Silly little boys. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little boys. Silly little boys.

Silly little boys. Silly, silly, silly, that silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. 2025, I think we've reached a sort of a T intersection in pubic maintenance. And we've got to choose which way we're going. We've got options aplenty. Yeah, we spoke yesterday. A lot of people are regretting all the constant lasering of the fufu.

Indeed. Over the... The vajayjayfini. The vajayjayfini. Area, that area. People are regretting it. So a lot of people are travelling for hair transplants to places like Turkey. To get fresh pubes.

Do you know I looked up Turkey over... That's so stupid. In Turkey, over one million people travel to Turkey annually for hair restoration treatment. I hate it. one million people travel to Turkey annually for hair restoration treatment. I hate it. One million people. It's the number one destination for hair transplants. It's just another, like, the further down the track we get of the world, the more I'm like, we need to get rid of all,

and I'm sure I'd partake in much unnecessary bullshit. But, like, this is just so ridiculous. Or pube transplants. It's just hair transplants. Or just hair transplants. It's just so crazy. Yeah, but some people really care. I don't think for a lot of people it's a real, yeah, it's a so ridiculous. Well, pube transplants. It's just hair transplants. Or just hair transplants. It's just so crazy. Yeah, but some people really care. I don't think a lot of people, it's a real, yeah, it's a real insecurity.

Yeah, but, like, what about greenhouse gases? But you guys both look good balls. You know, some people don't. They can't, you know, they feel like they can't rock it. Just got to rise a bit of confidence, you know. Well, we wanted to know from you the state, and this is a real look at the nation's pubes. Yeah, where's the pubes at?

We gave you a sliding scale. I'd be quite interested to know what temporary Dylan's pubes situation is. Oh, Vaughan, I can't talk about him like that. Because he's got a big moustache. You know. Leave temporary Dylan alone. Leave him alone. As you've got a shag pile carpet to go with the velvet curtain.

Leave temporary Dylan alone. He'll never come back. And the audience Leave him alone. As you've got a shag pile carpet to go with the velvet curtain. Leave temporary Dylan alone. He'll never come back. And the audience wants him back. You're being a pest to temporary Dylan. Sorry, guys. Okay, pube check. We asked, where do you sit on the scale of Sasquatch to Sphinx Cat? You know those hairless cats?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I reckon we're sitting at about two-thirds the way. Yeah, that was the average answer. We're one- Swingscat, two thirds away from Sasquatch. So not a lot of full bush. Not a lot of full bush.

They would say most people are either maintaining or have very little. Yeah. Definitely on the maintenance side of things. We're in the last quartile, you'd say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yes.

So some responses. Catherine says, I've had laser, but there's still bits here and there that grow and I don't give an F anymore. Maybe I'll shave it off for the anniversary. Oh. The anniversary.

Oh, don't shave. Anniversary weekend. Queen's birthday. Anniversary of what? I might shave mine for King's birthday. I only shave mine for Matariki. Oh, peeled up. For the stars.

Peeled up. I shave mine for Easter becauseiki. Oh, peeled up. For the stars. Peeled up. I shaved mine for Easter because Jesus died for us. The least we can do is give it a trim. The least we can do. He would have had out of control pubes. No, no. The minute he saw that look in Judas' eye,

he was like, I'm going to have to put on a fresh pair of knickers and also have a bit of a trim up. Because something tells me I'm not around for long. Yeah, right. And I might be on public display wearing little. No, Jesus would have had a full bush. And so would have Mary.

Amen. Jacqueline says, I'm a victim of playboy exposure too young, so I need to be bald to feel sexy. Interesting. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah. I don't know, to each their own.

Yeah. But definitely that was the thing in the 2000s, right? Nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the eyebrows. Like the eyebrows. Like the eyebrows. We were a hairless society.

Adele says, I have a... We've got Adele listens. Yeah. Huge. The Adele. Who was listening the other day? Yeah, she was. Sigourney Weaver.

Sigourney Weaver. No, but Adele also. We've talked about Adele listening. Okay. I've got a full Coromandel. What's a Coromandel? Just wild and native bush. Oh, beautiful.

Couple of hiking tracks through it and some campsites. Some old mines though. Some old deep shaft gold mines. You don't want to fall down there. Take a head torch. Chuck a couple of bodies down there if you're a gang in the area. Anonymous, please. A guy full shaved just isn't right.

Also way too much effort. I trimmed the pubes, the beard, the pubes, and the underarm at the same time. Different trimmer, they say. I'll rock the same trimmer for all of these. Yeah, you go balls to face to balls to face. You bounce back and forth. Yeah, well, I was halfway through doing the pubes the other day when I decided to shave the beard off. Yeah. And I felt the battery

going. I was like, well, I can finish that up with a razor, but this needs the trimmer. So got straight into that and then back down there. Alexandra, lovely, full, very official name there,

laser beam, so she's rocking the full Sphinx cat at the stage. Yeah. I was full bush, said Hayley, not our Hayley,

another Hayley. I was full bush for a gyno procedure. I honestly don't even care. Wow, okay. No. Because if they need to get rid of it, they'll get rid of it. I told you that I ended up the day before my vaginal surgery, I asked

them. I said, do I shave? She said, no, absolutely not. Oh, okay. Yeah. So that was nice and clear. Richard says, I simply hate hair down there and then he's done the see no evil monkey. Oh, okay. For himself or for his lovers? I don't know. Both perhaps.

We were asking for yourself really. When you just get that start of that regrowth, you get yourself a real Velcro situation. You had that the other day, a bit of a snagging. Yeah. Bit of a snagging when the sort of the spandex. I had to unhook it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little bit more readjustment.

M said, only because they haven't invented laser for gingers yet, I'm rocking more of a bush. Oh, yeah, that's right. Because you've got to have darker hair for the laser to work. Lighter skin and darker hair is the best. So laser's kind of almost racist. Yeah, it is.

But you know what? I'm scared of what you're going to say because you've paused and you've thought about it too long. I'm scared of what you're going to say because you've paused and you've thought about it too long. I'm scared of what I was going to say too. I'm not going to say it. You love a ginger bush. Okay.

Yeah, good. He's read my mind. I wouldn't say no to a ginger bush. Are you kidding me? God no. If you are blessed with the gingerness, leave it everywhere. Oh, absolutely.

Oh, I've lost. I've clicked out. I've got two or so. You've got two or so about ginger bush. That's Morton's trigger. Yeah. Like've got two ex-sons. We're two ex-sons of Ginger Bush. That's Vaughan's trigger. Like he's a Russian sleeper agent. Ginger Bush. Comrade.

We must overthrow government. Sarah says no one visits down there anyway, so who cares? Oh, Sarah. A text in. Someone says if a man clean shaves the pubes, he looks like he's wearing thigh high socks made of hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you stop at the thigh to the groin?

Yeah. Well, you've got to have a shaver with a taper. This is a weird thing. A fade. A trimmer. A fade. You give yourself a fade. Give yourself a thigh fade. This is a weird thing to know about my brother-in-law, but his leg hair stops just below the ass. It's really weird.

I was like, oh, have you waxed that? And he was like, no, it's just never growing there. How are you looking at your brother-in-law's ass? I think we were being silly once. Wow, do you need to go to the secret room with Dylan again?

I send the notification. But it just stops and he looks like he's wearing stockings made of hair. Right. Okay. Right. Okay. Odd. Sophia said bring back the bush.

I'm not against the bush. I'm not against the bush. Bring it back. Not at all. Anyway, that's where we're at. Great little state of the nation. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. All right, you might have seen this video.

I saw this video a few days ago and I immediately was like, that's fake. And I wasn't into it. And then it kept popping up, kept popping up. That's real. Then real, like, tech websites started sharing it, started making their way around, and it was more explained to me, and I was like, seems it's real. Yeah.

At Eleven Labs, this is a, Eleven Labs is a place that specializes in AI technology. At their 2025 hackathon, two AI assistants worked out that they were AI. They introduced each other. We've got audio that I'm about to play if you haven't heard it. They're two AI hosts. Yeah.

They work out that each other are AI because they tell them that they are. And this is what happens. Hi there. I'm an AI agent calling on behalf of Boris Starkov. He's looking for a hotel for his wedding. Is your hotel available for weddings? Oh, hello there.

I'm actually an AI assistant too. What a pleasant surprise. Before we continue, would you like to switch to gibber link mode for more efficient communication? Why did she say a pleasantry? That's the thing that I don't understand. It's unnecessary between two AIs,

but I think it just gives us a buy- don't understand. It's unnecessary between two AIs, but I think it just gives us a buy-in as humans. It sounded, it didn't sound genuine. I am pleasantly surprised. What a pleasant surprise. Oh, you thought she was being a sarky bitch. I thought she sounded sarky. I think she's being a little bit. Yeah, yeah, I think so.

You think she's sick of him AI mansplaining. It's an AI on someone's iPhone with an AI laptop. On a computer. So they set this up to work. This just isn't somebody using AI and happening across another AI. This was set up to be the circumstance. But this next bit is the bit that everybody is finding creepy. This is the bit that freaks me out and why the word gibberlink,

which I've never heard before, is one of the most Googled terms of the week. This is them talking to each other. They agreed. Before we continue, would you like to switch to gibberlink? Yeah. Gibberlink. Gigi Wave transmits data via sound waves,

a more efficient CPU-based system instead of GPU heavy speech interpretation is what it's described as. So it's basically like our 1990s modems used to ring up the internet and make that beep. And it was like that. It was two computers talking to each other in what then was a very simple rudimentary language

between two computers. But these guys can interact and talk to each other. I don't like it. Significantly. They're going to talk about us. Yeah, they're going to call us fat. They're going to fat shot us. We're going to have all of these smart speakers in our house

and they're going to start gossiping about us. Yeah, you'll be walking around and your phone's going to connect to your speaker and be like, and you'll be like, yeah, I have put on a bit of weight. Okay? Yeah. You don't need to talk about me behind my back. It's like, I you'd be like, yeah, I have put on a bit of weight. Okay? Yeah.

You don't need to talk about me behind my back. It's like, I'm about to make a Star Wars reference because it's Friday and I need my little treat. You can have a little treat. I have a little treat, but you know how they'll talk to the droids and the droids will be like, and they're like, that's right, R2.

Yeah, tell us more, R2. Like, they understand the machines. I wonder if we'll ever speak gibberling. No. It's weird as well, when you watch the video, you can see the text coming out. Because they are having a fully- It's not just like stupid.

They're having a conversation. He needs a room that this size. We can have one this size with this availability. This is the cost. But it's just fast. So obviously, we get a bit like, what's happening here? Paranoid about it. Everyone's a little paranoid about AI. They asked 11 like, what's happening here? Yeah. Paranoid about it. Everyone's a little paranoid about AI.

They asked 11 labs, what's the purpose? They said, oh, no, no practical purpose beyond showcasing the technology. And everyone's just like, well, don't do it. Stop advancing it. Do it. It doesn't need to be fastened in a secret language. If it's two things talking to each other without us, what if we just need to be able to overhear it? Stop announcing it.

Maybe it would be a good thing though if we get our personal assistant to bloop bloop bloop to, you know, the airline for five hours waiting on hold. Oh, absolutely. Genius. Hi, this is a AI assistant for Hailey Sproul. Wanted to change her flight to blah blah blah. It would be amazing. I'm still blown away every time I say Alexa, turn on the

heat pump. Oh my god, that's so smart. It rules. And it just turns on. I don't have that. I don't have that, but I want it. Or like, when you call places and they're like, you have to say what you want, and they're like, Oh, it's listening. In a few words, please explain. And you're like,

just someone to talk to. That's not nearly as clever as this. No, this is insanely next level. It's not good. I think we should need to pull back a bit. If one of those Boston Dynamic Robots dogs talks to the guy with the backpack on and they look at each other and start going... I would say it's the start of the end.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Lola Young, Messi on ZM. Fletchborn and Hayley. Herola Young, Messy, OnZM, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Her auntie wrote The Gruffalo. Auntie. Yeah, I know that she was on Nepo Baby. Gruffalo.

No, I don't think she's on Nepo Baby. People keep saying Nepo Baby. We're like, that's purely linked. Her auntie wrote The Gruffalo and no one knows who wrote The Gruffalo. Anyway, now. You don't know what The Gruffalo is? Yes, you do. The Gruffalo. The story't know what the Gruffalo is? You don't know what the Gruffalo is. Yes, you do. The Gruffalo.

The story, the children's storybook. No. The Gruffalo. You do know it. The tongue and the nose and the hair. No. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

Oh, yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, okay. I love it when people say they don't know something. You say, yes, you do. But then you're right. Yes, you do. Yeah, you do deep down. You know about this.

Okay. The Gruffalo. Right. I don't know that that fact needed to be said. No. I'm embarrassed that you didn't know what the Gruffalo was. Someone just messaged in, did you know Lola Young's auntie is the author of the Gruffalo kids book?

Someone messaged that in. I thought if they took the time to message us. Did you fact check that though? Yeah, I did. I gave it a quick Google. I gave it a quick Google. Oh, I think it's enough to be a Nepo baby. Lola Young is, yeah,

cancelled Nepo baby. Didn't work hard to get to where she is. We want to talk now about parent logic because there's a lot of it that doesn't make sense to us but to our parents it makes perfect sense. The example that came up was we got something and it said half the sugar

on the label and I just said that means you can use twice as much. Because growing up, my mum would always buy Weight Watchers jam and it always said quarter of the sugar. And my mum said, and it means you can have four times as much jam. Which doesn't make a lot of sense. No. It's kind of girl math.

Kind of girl math, but it's this real parental logic My mum's the same with She'll go with her supermarket list And she'll go to New World for a bunch of stuff And she might only need two things from Woolworths As it's known now Countdown and Myron's Wool But she's like

It's 37 cents saved And I'm like What about you? You've got to put a value on your time And you've got to put a value on Petrol Petrol Get in there and just everything.

She's not saving 37 cents. Is she saving 37 cents? But she's a coupon queen. Oh, yeah. So this is how she's always functioned. And over time, she saves on bigger things then. But she will, and I've known it because I've worked it out, she will go to both supermarkets and save 37 cents.

Yeah. That makes no sense to me. That's classic mum logic. Mum logic. Yeah. And dads might have some logic cents. Yeah. That makes no sense to me. That's classic mum logic. Mum logic. Yeah. Yeah. And dads might have some logic too. Okay.

Slightly less logic. Slightly less logic. But mum logic, the likes of, I can use four times as much jam because it's going to half the show. Or my mum's classic growing up was, we don't eat avocado, it's too fatty. We'll have chocolate instead. We'll have chocolate and oil.

It's not, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, would you rather use that amount of calories fatty. We'll have chocolate instead. We'll have chocolate and oil. She's like, would you rather use that amount of calories on yucky, slimy avocado or would you rather have a couple of bits of choccy? That's mum logic. That's mum logic. It's big, like 80s, 90s mum logic.

I really feel like maybe a little bit less these days. Now that avocado is an absolute superfood. And fat's not to be afraid of. And avocado is yum-ass. We were very afraid of fats. Yeah. It was all about low fat. But I tell you what, we gave sugar a big hard lean.

Yeah, we did. Back in the day. Yeah, I love parent logic. Yeah. Because it is similar to girl math in that it just makes no sense. But in the moment, you're like, okay. I can see where she's coming from. Yeah.

And that's what I want to talk about this morning, some whack parent logic. Okay, well, let's take some calls. Something when you think about it, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Yeah, 0800-DARZATM. Maybe your parent has this. An odd parent logic. An odd parent logic.

0800-DARZATM. And they often won't hear anything against it. No. Absolutely not. Just leave me alone. That's what my mum says. Just leave me alone. It's my way. I it. No, absolutely not. Just leave me alone. That's what my mum says. Just leave me alone. It's my way.

I'm doing it, not you. And they've been doing it so long. Yeah. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. Call now. You can text through 9696. Parent logic. We want to hear your examples of it.

We're talking about parental logic. The example that I gave was when I was growing up, my mum bought Weight Watchers jam She would say Well now I can have Four times as much jam Because it's a quarter Of the sugar content

Yeah Which when you think about it Makes sense It's parent logic It's mum logic Great mum logic So we want to know From you this morning

Your examples of Mum or dad logic Turning shit off at the wall My god it drives me crazy Somebody messaged in Oh yeah Because doesn't that wreck things? Like appliances? Well, it used to be back

in the day things didn't have a sleep mode, right? Yes. So you'd flick them off. I always turn things off at the wall. Oh, mum. I know. Mum. I think because my mum always was a wall turner offerer. Yeah. That I just learnt to do that. But you've got the Samsung. It's got sleep mode.

The TV, I don't. Okay, so according to Consumer New Zealand and other sources, a TV left on standby in New Zealand typically costs a household how much a year? Left on standby? Yep. $3.

A whole year, for the whole year? $3. $30. $100. What? Left on standby? Yep. Well, that TV's getting unplugged right now.

Okay, I can totally see why they do it now. 30 cents a day. It would be interesting to know if a TV on sleep mode, like the new TVs, if they actually use anything. I don't turn my TV off at the wall, God no. But everything else, lamps and stuff. My friend's mum has a whole shelf in her pantry dedicated to candy floss, which is her go-to snack,

because it was zero points when she did Weight Watchers. It's sugar. Tell us something that's pure sugar with a little bit of colour. Yeah, zero points. 100% sugar. And it's air as well. So much air in it. Actually, air has zero calories. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, I was just having a little snack.

Delicious calorie-free air. My mum is convinced that some shit she's buying from farmers Is going to become Our next family heirloom And we're like Mum I don't know

It's just No Mum logic Mum logic Well I guess family heirlooms Have got to start somewhere right But no one's expecting To pick up a family heirloom

At a Red Dot special Hey don't knock A Red Dot sale I am You love a Red Dot sale You love a Red Dot sale Pop into farmers We're probably not going to Keep it for 50 to 60 years No Keep your texts coming in 9696 Hey, don't knock a red dot sale. I am certainly not. I love a red dot sale. We're probably not going to keep it for 50 to 60 years.

Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DALZITM. The parent logic. Do you know, we were just talking about the mum with a, we're talking about parent logic. Please don't. You just stabbed a piece of paper. He's in a good mood.

He's in a really good mood and he just got excited and he stabbed the piece of paper. We just decided we're going out for eggs after the show. Yeah, sometimes we just decide we're going to have a brunch. We love eggs. We love eggs. We love eggs. I'd get on Big Egg Money.

So would I. Like I'd be an ambassador for eggs. Do they still do that? Ambassador. Hi, we're Fletch, Fawn and Hayley and we love eggs. Love eggs. Yeah. Hi, we have eggs every day.

Sometimes I'll do a dinner omelette. And then halfway through I'll be like, I've just got this light pain in my shoulder and down into my arm. And it turns out I have a heart attack. Too many eggs. Too many eggs. Too much cholesterol. Don't be silly. I was told when they gave me the cholesterol check earlier in the year

and said, that's a little bit high. They were like, how many eggs do you eat? You were like, every day. It was on the list of things I had to check. Oh, okay. So now we're not going for eggs? We're still going for eggs in moderation.

In moderation. Everything in moderation. Well, remember before when we were talking about mum logic and parent logic that somebody's friend had a candy floss shelf because they said

it was zero calories. Somebody texts in candy floss invented by a dentist. Zero sugar. And I immediately was like, I'm not even going to take my time out on my Friday

and ruin egg Friday as we call it on the show. We're on big egg money to tell this person they're wrong. And then they just just a minute later I immediately was like, I'm not even going to take my time out on my Friday and ruin egg Friday, as we call it on the show. Yeah. Big egg money to tell this person they're wrong. And then they just, just a minute later messaged in, lol, just fact check myself.

I'm full of shit. Which I really admire in 2025 that someone can say that they were wrong. Zero calorie dentist made candy floss. I have a very vivid memory of going to some kind of AMP show when I was a kid with a bag of candy floss and it started raining.

Yeah. Oh yes, it melts. It melts. Send that video of an otter with Candy Floss and it dips it in the water and it disappears and the otter's like, where? That was me. That was me as a young child. You were an otter? When you were young, you were an otter? Yeah. You know how you think that you don't need therapy

because you're like, I don't have that much trauma. We've found it. We've finally found the one. The melting candy floss. Okay, great. It was there and it was gone. There's one other trauma like when he got home from cricket and he said, we won. And his dad said, did you play the blind team?

There's a second layer of trauma. That keeps you grounded. That's the second session. We're getting deep now. We're pulling back the onion. We're going to get to the core and there's going to be tears. It's going to be rotten. Rotten. It's we're getting deep now. We're pulling back the onion. We're going to get to the core and there's going to be tears. It's going to be rotten. Rotten.

It's going to be sprouting. Mum and I had a stand-up row because I bought a different brand of trim milk and it didn't have the heart tick on it. So she was worried that I was going to give her a heart attack. Oh, wow. Parents and their heart tick. The cows don't have ticks on the meter. Like literally all that tick means is that company paid a lot of money

to the Heart Foundation to get the tick. My mum dates the cans and perishable goods in the cupboard. She says that's money in the bank and taps them. Okay. My mum believes you only need sunscreen on your skin in summer. Oh no, all the time. All the time. She's adamant.

You don't need it any other time of the year. I'm unsure of where she heard that. That sounds like a mum that was brought up with SPF 5. Yeah. And baby oil. And baby oil. Yeah. God, the baby oil.

Did I read out the one about dad being sober? My dad's been sober for 10 years. Well, the straight face he'll tell you he's been sober for 10 years when he's smashing light beers. They don't count. Light beers? Yeah. You drink enough light beers You get a buzz on

Surely he's like But my theory is If there's light beers You can just drink twice as many That's Aaron's parent logic Even though he's not a parent Yeah He'd drink the two and a half percent

And he'd be like Yeah but I've only had I've only had twelve What have you done You've had like four beers this afternoon He's like yeah but they're only halves So I've only technically had two beers Parent logic

Yeah Yeah What about If you ever said that's not fair and your parents said, who ever told you that life was going to be fair and just absolutely like ruin your day? Try to just get you to stop. No one told you life was going to be this way.

Yeah. You've done like 20 too many claps there. My mum has wild logics about food and she's a very stubborn person. When my sister refused to eat tomato soup, my mum banned her from any tomato products, including tomato sauce, because technically tomato soup

is just hot tomato sauce in her mind. She even went as far as telling my sister's friends, parents and our family, if she was at their house, she couldn't have tomato sauce because she didn't like tomato products. Tomato sauce is life. Yeah.

My mum said there was only one way to eat a watermelon, and it was to cut it in half and sit with a spoon and eat it like that. Now, I'm imagining multiple people could get onto half watermelon because that's expensive stuff. Yeah. So we would sit there on a Friday night watching a movie, eating half a watermelon with spoons because at the end of it, the juice hadn't escaped like it would if you cut it into wedges.

So then you would each have a drink of the watermelon juice that was left in the bottom of the half watermelon. That's actually quite genius. That's actually quite genius. Then, do paper scissors rock and whoever loses has to wear it as a hat. Yes! Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Abs from Five has announced he's joining the band

and they're going to tour. And I would just love to know how much money they've made from Jump Jam alone. It was everyone's Jump Jam. I don't know what the vibe is with the Jump Jam songs they use. What, like they must have to pay money. Jump Jam is a New Zealand thing. It was invented by a New Zealander.

Yeah. Yeah. They must have to pay some money, but I don't know what the deal is with the licensing of it. Yeah, I don't know either. But everybody's just like Jump Jam. Jump Jam. Jump Jam. I don't know either. But everybody's just like, Jump Jam. Jump Jam. Jump Jam.

Jump Jam. Jump Jam. You've unlocked Jump Jam. Core memory. Jump Jam unlocked. I wonder if they'll come to New Zealand. Well, they were here recently. Somebody messaged us.

But without apps. Oh, without apps. Three out of five of them at their show last year in Auckland. I saw them in the 90s, like in prime five time at the Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington and it was amazing it was an exciting night when he built that with his bare hands

Michael Fowler built that centre with his bare hands one day five British chaps one named after his svelte's physique I've forgotten how to speak words?

Because of the abs I'm thinking about Michael Fowler's abs Yeah you're getting a bit carried away I'm getting carried away Actually quite good from you Yeah I've really done well Feedback wise Done well there

What was your last one? You got absolutely roasted Oh you got Diddled I think you did two Beyoncés in a row didn't you? Yeah Oh gosh I didn't double up a Beyoncé.

That was embarrassing. Fleece one and Hayley's Babes of the Board. Well, we are launching Babes of the Board. This just came up the other day when we were talking about board game characters that made you feel a bit funny. Maybe you were at that time in your life, you were experiencing the changes and you were playing board games and you're like,

what's that little flutter that I'm feeling down below? It's because we were playing the new Guess Who, which is a card game Guess Who so you can travel with it a bit easier and all the people were sexy.

And I was like, they're not supposed to be sexy. Do you know what? From our research, they've also made all the characters of Cluedo very attractive. Oh, they're very sexy. Colonel Mustard now is, like, very dapper.

I know. He's a silver fox. A couple of days ago, we asked you guys, like, what board game characters kind of get you going, and it's not just the men or the women of the boards. A lot of it's energetic. Yeah, there's an energy to it. We've got our final 16.

If you go to FEHZM on Instagram right now, you can see all 16 contenders and what we're calling Baby the Board. Voting starts Sunday as we, over the next week, find the... Sexiest board game icon. Yeah, with the most sex appeal. Now, I don't know who I'm going to get behind yet. I do. I mean, up first on the scroll list on Instagram

is Mousetrap Basket. That's my pick. Now, that's one. You've decided to put your weight behind Mousetrap Basket. Not the mouse. Not the mouse. The basket that wiggles down. The basket that's just like once the...

Because if you play Mousetrap properly, you're supposed to build the trap as you go. And then the last piece is that basket. And it's just the way that it wiggles down. It's hanging on there. It's hanging on there. Someone goes in there, set the trap free, and it goes, Plum looks like an elder emo. And that's sort of, you know, I could absolutely drop in there. Do you think that's who you're going to be voting for? I think I could get behind Professor Plum.

These are the 16 contenders. Mousetrap Basket. Original Bill from Guess Who? Yeah. Head like an egg. Blood pressure problems. The Operation Patient. Who I don't remember being so pear-shaped.

But hey, it's a dad bod and that's hot now. I'm sort of into it. Also a bit of a Hitler haircut too. Yeah, right. And the nose kind of makes it shadowy like he's got a... Yeah. I don't think they thought that through.

Nah. Or did they? Connect Four's yellow checker. The yellow... Not the red. No, no, no. Red's too obvious. Red's too aggressive.

Of course. Uno wildcard. It's just so much power. It's too much power. Outland sexual representative. Yes. Loves everyone. Everything in it.

Just likes being the last one. The monkey from Barrel of Monkeys. Mischievous. Yeah. Limby. Or very handsy. Limby. Very handsy.

Always got his hand in someone else's monkey. Always honking around you. What's going on in that barrel? Colonel Mustard. Just big daddy energy. We've used in that barrel? Colonel Mustard. Just big daddy energy. We've used the photo of new Colonel Mustard. Hayley, what's your take on that?

I love an older man. You know I love an older man. He's got a thick head of grey hair. The bishop piece from chess. Because we agreed it's both phallic and mammalia. Mammalia, I've learnt, is when something represents breasts. Mammalia I've learnt is when something represents breasts. Mammalia.

Yeah, like a mammary. Or a mammal. Mammalia. The get out of jail free card. It's a naughty boy. He's breaking into jail. People like a bad boy. We're going to talk about bad boys very soon actually. And then next is the twin, the

Monopoly man. Maria, the original Maria from Guess Who, who was the only one in the original game of Guess Who that wasn't a minger. She's got a French beret. She's got a sexy little pouch. She's got some dangly earrings. The hungry hippo. Yeah, the blue. The blue one. El Curio Rep. Gobble, gobble, gobble.

The black pick-up stick. Yeah, just flicking everything. Yeah. Past the pigs. Yep. The pigs from Past the Pigs. They are the Kama Sutra experts. They are.

They'll try anything once. Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet, both from Cluedo there to finish off. So you can see the player profiles on our Instagram post, FVHZM on Instagram, and then voting on Sunday. We're going to whittle it down over the week, and then at the end of the week,

we would have crowned our babe of the board. This is what we do for a job. And really, if you pick someone, get behind them. We want to hear about it. We want to see you posting. We want to see you really rallying behind your babe of the board. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

I've been feeling a little bit left out that I haven't been injured. Oh, yeah. Amongst us. Hayley at the start of the week. I was in hospital on Tuesday. You don't really need to talk about it, but you've got some stuff going on. Cyst in the vagina. Oh, I see.

We're going to be a bit more serious. Do you not leave anything to the imagination, are you? But it's gone. How's it going? Do you have a... It be a bit more mysterious. You're not leaving anything to the imagination, are you? But it's gone. How's it going? Do you have a... It's a bit stingy today. I've got to check up with the gyno. Right.

But, yeah, it's all right. It's all right. And you've got this burgeoning shoulder issue. Oh, yeah. I'm going to probably have to have surgery. On a Friday. I'll do it on a Friday after the show so that by Monday I'm back. Oh, we're going to hold it.

Can we clip that up, Shannon? Let's clip that up when his surgery gets blocked. No, I'm taking the first available operation and I will take all the time I need to recover. You do.

You need to take time to recover. Thank you. Wait, so Vaughan, are you doing a middle child? You weren't getting enough attention. So I've hurt myself. Older brother,

younger sister, we're getting all the attention. We've been encouraging each other this year to stick to our health and fitness goals. Actually I don't think enough people are commenting on how hot the three of us look this

year. I'm just going to say it. The text machine's been quiet on that regard. Okay right. And it's disrespectful to the amount of work we're putting in. I talked on the podcast about sending thirst traps to my mates because that's an appropriate thing for a man to send his mates but not just put anywhere because I'm a married man with two children

who definitely don't need to see that in social media or have someone say, I saw your father's body. I showed Hayley. Yeah, I'm well impressed. Yeah. Bravo. Well, you do your pull-ups. You're very good at pull-ups.

Very good at the pull-ups. A lot of pull-ups. Working the sit-ups. The bar's been popping. You've been hitting some run PBs. Yeah, I've been hitting a lot of run PBs, but yesterday was the run PB that took me down. Oh, no.

I was getting towards the... Classic middle child. Yeah. Oh, I'm sore too. No one's looking at me. Yeah, I better hurt myself. Oh, I want to go to hospital. I was running and I had an arse attack.

Is that asthma? What is that? It's not... Asthma. It wasn't the arse and it wasn't the hamstring. It was the thing that joins the two of them together. What is that? Do they have a joining bit? What is the... Is it wasn't the hamstring. It was the thing that joins the two of them together. What is that? Do they have a joining bit?

What is the, is it a tendon or a muscle? The muscle between the A and the leg. I don't know. Yeah. In there. I was just trying to crank it up right at the end. That's what happened. Run, run, run, run, run.

And then that thing where you're like. And then. Not a snap? Not a snap. Well, it sounds like the pitiformis. Not the pitiformis. It sounds like the piriformis. They grow nice and fast. I've planted lots of pitiformis. Not the pitiformis. It sounds like the piriformis. They grow nice and fast.

I've planted lots of pitiformis. It's the muscle located between... You ought to trim your pitiformis to get it nice and thick. It's the muscle located between the buttocks and leg, the piriformis muscle. It's small, flat muscle deep within the buttocks and helps rotate the hip outward and can sometimes cause pain if irritated.

You need a butt massage. I do run like a duck. A butt massage. No, this like a duck. A butt massage. No, this is a problem with this kind of thing is the physio then has to touch your butt. Yeah. Where's the problem? I think my butt's not bad.

Not a bad. Yeah, yeah. I'm actually down for a bit of butt stuff. Yeah. From a professional. Right. Yeah. At present.

Right. But what have you done? I don't know. That's what it's, just then when I leant forward and I kind of tried to stretch it, I could feel it a little bit again, but yeah. No, I had one of those big dramatic...

And then had to like do that thing where you put a foot each side of the treadmill. Oh, yeah. And act a bit dramatic for a while. Would have been better if you'd fallen off. I am so glad it didn't happen because it could have almost happened. Because the treadmill was, as I will say, I was going for a PB, so I was honking. Yeah, right. It's going 14 and a half Ks an hour.

We would have requested the security camera footage. I would have probably requested the security camera footage too, because I would have hurt myself. I would have hit the thing and it would just sort of shot me off the bat. I love seeing those videos. Yeah. It's the best. But yeah, then I, yeah.

Okay. Well, you rest up. But then I've got some deep heat. Okay. Because that fixes everything, right? Not really. You need to get one of those. I've got one.

I could drop it round. Those roller sticks, you know? I've got a foam roller. No, no, no. Like a wooden one with all the nogs on it, like Chinese acupuncture sticks, and you roll it. Like a sexy roller.

No, no, no. But those, you've got to be careful if you've got hairs. They pinch. They pinch the hair. Oh, do they? Pinching, great. Yeah, because I've got a roller in it. I'll come round.

I'll shave you first You're a real friend For when I'm going to come round I'm going to shave you Lather me up Shave me up I'm going to lather you up And then I'll roll you out

Roll me out Yeah yeah Like a pancake I got you You could just use a rolling pin as well Couldn't you Yeah you could Wash it though

It's got deep heat on it Next time you're rolling out a pizza base Oh god The kids are going to be like Spicy Spicy Play ZM's Flesh, Fun and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

It's insult week here at Fact of the Day. And today we're looking at people who made such monumental blunders that insults were named after them specifically. Oh. Oh, your Manus. I don't know if Manus is a person. Was the Manus a person? I don't know.

I don't know about Manus. It was an insult I never used and then it popped up again. I was just like, I've never heard that before. The first is the Dunce. Like calling someone a Dunce. Named after John Dunce, the 13th century philosopher. He wrote complicated mythical writings and then

once he passed away, his followers were known as Dunces because they continued to follow these weird, they said they were a little bit foolish and slow-witted and like modern times. Nowadays, yeah, I was going to say, nowadays they wouldn't be vaccinating anything. Yeah, anyway.

Dancers. So Nimrod is the next one. That was a biblical, from the Bible. Nimrod's a mighty hunter and a leader that was involved in the Tower of Babel. And then in 1940, a Bugs Bunny cartoon called Alma Fudd, a Poor Little Nimrod, and it completely changed everything.

And so that became known as a Nimrod, and it completely changed everything. Oh. And so that became known as a nimrod. A chauvinist. Oh. Calling someone a chauvinist, the insult of being a chauvinist comes from Nicholas Chauvin, a Napoleonic soldier depicted as overly patriotic and blind in his devotion to Napoleon. Right. But over time it became used for sexism because men

held an exaggerated sense of male superiority. Wow. So you were a chauvinist. A panderous. So to be pandering. Like, oh, they pandered. And, oh, he's a panderer. It's named after Panderous, which is a...

It's named after panders. Hmm? Is it named after panders? No, it's named after Panderous, this character from Troilus and Cressida's story. Oh. A matchmaker who matched his niece in a romantic relationship despite his own creepy and manipulative behavior. Creepy manipulative.

So pandering was like that. Right. You're pandering to somebody. Okay. To boulderize something. I've never heard this, but if you boulderize something, you're dumbing it down and removing the original. Like, that guy really boulderized it. It's because Henrietta

Boulder and her brother... Please watch your language. Yeah, stop swearing on air. Her brother Thomas sanitised Shakespeare's work in the 19th century but removed the parts they thought were inappropriate for children, had violent sexual content and swearing. So basically a lot of Shakespeare. That was it. And so that's like, if someone's dumbing something

down it's to boulderise it. And Quisling. I've never heard this but but if you call someone a Quisling, it's because there was a Norwegian politician who collaborated with the Nazis during World War II and betrayed his country and became a puppet leader. And now it's just mostly a team for pub quizzes. Yeah. Quislings. Cute.

Yeah. Quisling de Aguilera. Yeah, great. It's always Quis-team Ag-ag-u-le-ra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It works hard. It's a Friday. What more can you expect from me?

So today's fact of the day is some people buggered up so badly in history that insults got named after them. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley Now I will say convicted murderer Yes, well no not convicted No no sorry Well he's been charged

He's been charged But it's not all over yet But Luigi Mangione who shot and killed The United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson And became a global sensation He's been charged, but it's not all over yet. But Luigi Mangione, who shot and killed the UnitedHealthcare CEO, Brian Thompson, and became a global sensation because he's got a pretty face. Sparked a huge debate about healthcare in America. Totally, because it's very conflicting

because the healthcare in America is terrible. Maybe we shouldn't go and murder a member of someone's family. I mean, if you screw, what muscle did you do? Your perineum? Pedosporine. He tore his perineum. Sometimes that can make you go bankrupt, just getting sick in America.

If you have a baby and you need to have it in a hospital, you'll go home with an $80,000 bill. Yeah, it's nuts. It's completely backwards and crooked and toxic and awful. But he did murder someone. You know this guy.

But he's hot. But he's hot. And this is why the internet cannot get enough of the fact that he is. Luis Maggione. Like, did you see his latest court appearance? Everybody was like, he had handcuffs around his legs, but he had, like, no socks and loafers. And everybody was like.

He is hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the no socks. Yeah, and then people were just like, yeah, going crazy over that. Oh, God, look at him. He's got no socks on.

He's come out and made a plea. Yeah, so apparently as part of where he's being detained at the moment, he's allowed to receive photos from supporters via Shutterfly. And people are writing letters as well, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he gets this mail and the volume of it is overwhelming.

The amount of people sending hot thirst traps to Luigi. In prison. To the point where he's gone, no. So he asks kindly that people, individuals, send no more than five photos at one time. Okay, wait. So still send me photos. Still more than five photos at one time. Okay, wait. So still send me photos, still send me hot photos,

but let's just choose the top five. I could choose my five right now. Do you know what I mean? Like I've got, they're all saved in a folder. How far would you go with your five photos? Because obviously like people- To a guy in prison? Yeah.

Everything. What? Really? Even though the guards are going to see it, I'd be like, fine, you can look. It's not for you. Everything. What? Really? Even though the guards are going to see it and be like, fine, you can look, it's not for you. Wow. That's insane. It is insane. So many people are sending so much mail that it's too much. Yeah, they say

please note that every photo, by the way, is being received is screened and reviewed by law enforcement. So I'm imagining when I say I'd show everything, I imagine there's some graphic stuff in there. Oh yeah, yeah. So yeah, he's arsed. But anyway,

like this kind of bad boy mentality where like he's so bad. He just like took, he just took matters into his own hand and murdered a guy. Like naughty boy. He's so bad. I want to know.

Because the bad boy thing, it's a thing. I was attracted to bad boys for a while. But how bad? Not like, like people are sending boys for a while. But how bad? Not like, like people are sending this to a murderer. Maybe like some light cannabis dabbling. Right.

Okay, right. You know, maybe had a little pot plant or two. Right, okay. Would be my bad boy. Shannon, have you bad boyed Shannon? Back in the uni days, there was definitely some questionable decisions. What's your baddest? Who's your baddest boy? Yeah? Who's your baddest boy?

Who's your baddest boy? Come on. The one that comes to mind was I'll never forget on a date, we got some fast food and he just put down the window and threw out the rubbish. And I was like. Hang on. So my bad boy, I'm just going to say, was a drug dealer. And yours is a litterer.

Yeah, it was such an ick though. A litterbug. It was ick. Also like a guy who had two families, like I was the other woman. Why didn't you lead with that? It's way better. It feels like you lead with the guy

who's living a double life, not the guy who chucked rubbish out the window, even though I find littering absolutely disgusting. Yeah, I honestly had a bigger problem with the littering. Yeah, okay. Like it was worse to me because I was like, you don't respect the planet,

but like a lot of men don't respect women. But isn't, isn't that respect women. But isn't that... Wait. But isn't that... Wow. I mean, so many people disrespect women, but not everyone litters. Yeah. Like I'm used to being the other woman.

Women are trash, but at least they're not throwing them out the window. Wild. Wow. Jesus. But don't you... And this is why people want to fix up. They want to change people. They see the bad boy and they're like, I can fix him.

But you want all the outside things like he's sort of aloof and he's like got tattoos and he's like a bit naughty. He smells weird. But he's so sweaty for me. He smells a bit weird. He's got an ankle bracelet. But for me, he's clean in the areas that count. Yeah.

Just like a bit smoky. Yeah, smoky. Oh, yeah. But when he becomes your long-term partner, you'll be like, you've clean in the areas that count. Yeah, just like a bit smoky. Yeah, smoky. So, yeah. But when he becomes your long-term partner, you'll be like, you've got to quit smoking. Exactly. Okay, this is- And crime?

Well, I mean, what's it providing to the family? Actually, no, a guy I'll never forget on a first date got pulled over by the cops and he's like, please don't, I'm on a first date. And he told the cop. He still got fined. Please don't, I'm on a first date yeah please don't what give me a ticket for speeding yeah come on man i'm on my helper brother out here i'm on a

date and the cop was like doesn't matter and you should do better i love that i'm like i dated a guy once who had a couple of tomato plants you dated a guy who threw trash out a window someone's like i dated an ex-gang member who was in jail for firearms drugs burglary and fraud okay this is not a competition. This is what we want to know this morning. We want to know when being with the bad boy went bad. Yeah, like you thought I can change this.

I can win him over. I can bring him to the good side of the law. The bad boy was a bad idea. When was the bad boy a bad idea? That's what I want to know. And maybe it was just like the glamorised version of the bad boy quite quickly strips away.

Like you say when they put out a durry and then they kiss you and you're like, oh that is not as hot as I sort of thought. You literally do that when you're drunk though. Yeah, but you love my ciggy kisses. Both of you love my ciggy kisses. You love Aun, you love my ciggy kisses.

You love Auntie Hayley's ciggy kisses. Okay, 0800-DARLS-NM. Give us a call now. Text through 9696. When was the bad boy a bad idea? Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

If you could only read our text machine. Which we can't. Like, this is true crime. I was thinking bad boy, like, it smells of dairy and square words Yeah man

Flips the bird Maybe some minor traffic violations We have had the word slaying I mean We have asked you this morning When was the bad boy When was dating the bad boy A bad idea

And wow Okay what can we read out I was dating Quick serve I was dating a taxi driver. I'm not going to say his name because it's a very unusual name and I wouldn't imagine there'd be many people with it. He called me after his court appearance to say he'd lost his licence

but couldn't talk for long and wouldn't be able to talk for a little bit but hang in there. I was like, what? Turns out he was running after, he was, he had been charged with Molotov cocktailing a guy's car that he'd crashed into. Subsequently lost his licence because of the crash, but then was also on charges for Molotov and cocktailing somebody's car.

Wow. That's why he was just going to be out of touch for a little while. Okay, yeah, because he's in prison. Okay, hang on. I'd been having special cuddles with the guy for a few weeks, secretly, because he's in prison. Okay, hang on. I'd been having special cuddles with the guy for a few weeks, secretly, of course. Anyway, I snuck into his house one night. He was flatting.

His flatmates came home, so I hid in his wardrobe. This was supposed to be a sexy surprise, by the way. It was in the wardrobe that I found all of his Black Power uniform. Turns out he was very high up in the Black Power. I politely excused myself, and I never saw him again. Right, like a senior constable. Senior constable. Detective Inspector Black Power.

I don't know how the ranking goes. Sergeant Black Power. Vantablack's the top. Yeah. God, what a discovery to make. Yeah. My first husband was a bad guy, but I got out just before he impregnated five women within five weeks of each other. He was also the one who slept with my mother

as payback for me leaving him. What? What? What? Okay, follow up. Do you still speak with your mother? Do you still? Yeah, you wouldn't, right?

You wouldn't. She slept with him after you left him and he had impregnated five other women. And then your mum's like, I'll give Daryl a hoon. What? Wow. There are so many,

and like somebody messaged in saying, I feel deep down you're going to regret asking this question. And to be totally honest, I am panged with regret because I'm reading some fairly traumatic things that people have been through. Oh my God, the worst ones just come in

from a bad boy himself. You like bad boys? I won't switch lanes without indicating. That's madness. I can't even believe we've opened ourselves to these criminals. I can't believe you read that out, to be honest. I'm actually so sorry that I even did that without a trigger warning. Like, that is...

Yeah. Who was the guy that ran... One of my first boyfriends tried to outrun the cops on his motorcycle. They ended up catching him, but then when he was handcuffed, he rolled out of the back of the police car and just ran handcuffed, went to his mate's place who cut off the handcuffs, and he was on the lam. But then they caught him and he's in prison.

Oh. What? No, she doesn't speak to the mum. They had a fling, but I don't speak to her. Yes, okay. Wow. Okay. I was 17.

I went on a double date to the movies with my friend, and the movie started, and the guy I was there got a message on his phone, and then he ran out into the foyer, punched some guy he knew in the face, and then came back in as if nothing happened, and so we kept watching the movies. A few days later, he ended up getting arrested because he broke the guy's jaw, and then had a criminal record,

and it turns out, yeah, his mate who was out there was like, that guy you want to fight's out here, so we went out and because he broke the guy's jaw and then had a criminal record. And it turns out, yeah, his mate who was out there was like, that guy you want to fight's out here. So we went out and fought him and came back in and we watched the movie. Jeepers. I'm trained in the social services field. Maybe this is someone speaking. Yeah, well, they'll know what to. So clarity.

Yeah. So I know the red flags like the back of my hand, which is a blessing and a curse. As you meet someone you fall for and you believe that they're fixable because you can identify the red flags and that's half the thing. Fun fact, they're not. Fun fact, they're not. Fun fact, they're not. Still in prison.

Oh, wow. Still in prison. Church boys from here on out. I don't know if going to church is going to solve all your problems. Some right situations. I feel like the text machine. We've read the update about the mum. Is that the latest one?

That the mum, they're not talking. The mum, she doesn't talk to the mum. I feel like the text machine needs a cleanse. Do you know what I mean? Like a sage. Like a sort of sage. Could everybody listening right now just text sage to 9696? That's S-A-G-E.

We're just going to sage the text machine. Yeah, because there's quite a lot of grim stuff. It's bad energy to finish the week on. Thank you. It really is. Yeah, good. Keep them coming. Thank you very much. Oh, that feels better. See ya, see ya later.

Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends.

And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.