ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 29th April 2024

Episode Date: April 28, 2024

Hey Hanging  Rolly saw a Ghost  Silly Little Poll!  Newsreader Brin has a Psychic UpdateVaughan's in Trouble  What did you ruin while Housesitting?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Great to be back after a long weekend. It was a long weekend. We took a very long weekend.

You've had extra pink in your hair? I have had some extra pink. Oh, it's purple. Yeah, we've gone quite dark because we're timing it for Friday. It's the Comedy Fest Gala on Friday. Oh, goodness. So you've got to give it time to wash

out, you know? Right. But yeah, busy week. Busy week. Busy week. Head down. Head down. Head down till Christmas, guys. Head down. It's going to be May. All we've got to do is get through this year. I'm just going to get through Christmas. And just get quieter. And we can just put our feet up. That's what we say every year. It's going to be May All I've got to do is get through this year and I'm just going to get through Christmas and we can just put our feet up That's what we say every year. I just need to see through a couple of projects and then

everything's going to, I'm just going to take it down again. Well it's going to be May in a couple of days so the year is flying Top six coming up Top six ways for the health system to save 100, you heard me 105 million dollars that's what the government said Top six ways for the health system to save $105 million. That's what the government said.

That health system kind of struggling, not paying people enough. Yes. I would say under-resourced on a whole. Constant protests. Yeah, that one. It needs to cut its spending significantly. Right. So I've got the top six ways to save a bit of money.

I'm a penny pincher. Okay. I can pinch some pennies. You're good at pinching the pennies. Oh, I pinch them pennies. Yeah. Get a handful of penny. Oh, don't do that, Esther, in the workplace.

It's hard. If penny's in the kitchen, I'm going to be pinching. Next on the show. We need to talk about hayhanging. Hayhanging. Hayhanging. Hayhanging. It's a term put to something we all know

that people do through messages and I hate it. It gives me such anxiety. Well guys, over the weekend I was just perusing the Wall Street Journal. As I do. As you do. WSJ, that's what you call it. Guys, I was just reading the WSJ. Guys, have you checked out the WSJ? And you're like, no, we're not smart enough. And I'm like, God, you've got to get on the WSJ, that's what you call it. Guys, I was just reading the WSJ. Guys, have you checked out the WSJ? And you're like, no, we're not smart enough.

And I'm like, God, you've got to get on the WSJ. Well, there's an opinion piece on the WSJ, and it is calling out a behaviour that we have to address. It's called hayhanging, as in H-E-Y, not as in like drying hay for your potpourri. Yeah, okay. The show Potpourri is doing really well, by the way, but the scent's not strong enough.

Would you dry hay for a potpourri? I wouldn't be putting grass in a potpourri. I don't know, just a bit of background fluff for the visuals. I've never made a potpourri, so I don't know. I'd dry hay for the purpose of feeding cattle in a season where perhaps the grass isn't as free-growing. Well, whatever you want to hang your hay for. I'm talking about different hay.

You're stacking hay. Hay hanging is when you might message someone or receive a message and it just says hay and then nothing else. That's hay hanging and then you're waiting for the other person to respond. That's not good. My head's

like, I'm in trouble. Or like, hey, we need to talk about your behaviour. Hey, we need to talk about this. Hey, you're going to lose your job. Hey, your father's dead. Like, you have to say more than that. If your mother one day approaches that subject with a hey, dot, dot, dot, hey, mum, what's up?

Your father's dead. I would say hey hanging's not as bad as hey, have you got a moment for a call? Are you free for a call? Yes, that's awful. I nearly burst into tears at the thought of it. It's awful. Or hey, dot, dot, dot. Hey, dot, dot, dot, dot. I can burst into tears at the thought of it. It's awful. dot, dot, dot.

Hey, I can't say I've never done this because I might be like, hey, quick message and then, you know. You'll go,

hey, and I just hit the microphone with my phone. I was just picking up my phone for people in the studio. People listening wouldn't even know I picked up my phone. You'll be like,

hey, I'll be like, you've got goss. Yeah, yeah. Hey, that's how I do it like a TV show. I'll be like, you've got goss. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, that's how many, how many, why is that?

That determines how much goss we've got. But I will try to put it all in one message. Hey, are you able to, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, like, okay, this could be anything and it's probably bad. People are jumping in being like, my brain, the moment I get hay hanged, hay hung, your brain just goes down this rabbit hole

and you fill it up and you you, what's the word? Catastrophize it in your head so badly. That's a word I learned just because I read the Wall Street Journal. Quite. You're quite, yeah, quite smart. I'm quite smart. You're quite smart, aren't you?

So don't hey hang. You've just, because you're all, you're just making people nervous. So just leave it, just all in one message. This. At least get. Hey, are you free for a phone call? Hey, can we book in a meeting? Yeah.

All that. Give more info. I'll say it. You just say no. Can we have a meeting? I'm like,. Give more info. I'll say it. You just say no. Can we have a meeting? I'm like, no. Now what's it about? When suits you this week

for a meeting? Now. Never. Never. Now through this message, tell me what you need me to know. Tell me, I don't need a meeting,

just tell me this in text form. That would be, I would say that would be your number one comment after a meeting, Vaughn. This didn't need to be. This did not need to be a meeting.

They could have all been emails. I'm yet to experience any meeting in my life that couldn't have been summed up with a bullet point email that I would not have read and then later on been like, no one told me about this. Be like, we literally, look at Carl and Nottie. We literally emailed you. Yeah, there's an email.

Well, don't send me an email. That's not what it's stupid thing to do. Come and tell me. Just me individually at once. Not everybody because that sounds like a meeting. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and tell me. Just me individually at once, not everybody, because that sounds like a meeting. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Baby Reindeer, if you haven't seen or heard,

it is on Netflix. It is Richard Gad. He is the creator. It's based off his one-man show that he did at Edinburgh Fringe, which is just telling the story about previous Edinburgh Fringes, which didn't go his way. A stand-up comedy career that was not going his way. No. Or anybody's way, really.

It's depicted so well in the show. It's the sort of stand-up comedy that you end up at when someone's like, we should go to stand-up comedy. And you're like, okay. And they're like, we're going somewhere weird. And you're like, okay. And you get there and it's just like, this was open mic night.

Everyone's giving it a blast. So that doesn't work for him, but then ends up telling the story basically of everything that happens around it. Yeah, his obsessed stalker. He has a stalker. There's a whole lot that goes on. It's not for everybody.

And as we were talking about before the show started, there's an episode that really should have had moral warning at the start. Flips you on its head, eh? Very intense watching. But based, and he says, on events that 100% happened. Yes. Oh, yeah. It's not just made up.

It's not made up. And he's the one that stars in it too. Yep. Which I, because I thought that was just an actor playing him. No.. It's not made up. And he's the one that stars in it too. Yep. Which I, because I thought that was just an actor playing him. No. But it's him. Yep.

It's him. Because it's incredible acting. So, I mean, you could see who just sees the draw from his. I was thinking that when I was watching it, knowing that he was the guy that made it, wrote it and everything. Like he's reliving horrendously traumatic experiences. Yeah.

On camera. People have said like, if you like this show, they need to watch I May Destroy You. Have you watched that? No, I haven't watched it yet. Very good. Yeah, it's amazing. It's the same, similar vein.

Like it's performed by her about, you know, an awful thing that happened, but it's like, you think it's a comedy and then it flips and ugh. But yeah, I watched all, is it seven eps? Or six eps? Yeah, I watched all of it on seven eps? Or six eps? I think so. Yeah, I watched all of it on the flight to Melbourne at the weekend. The entire thing from start.

And I was just jaw on the floor. Because they're 30 minute eps, eh? Yeah, they're 25, 30 minutes. And I just jaw on the floor like, whoa. And then I got to Melbourne and was just like, okay, I need a drink. I need to just like see some air and some nice friends. I need to just see some air and some nice friends. I need to check on some people. Just wow. Yeah.

But because it is based on real life events, people want to know who these people are in real life. I know. Names and everything. Names changed. And he said he changed appearances. He picked actors that didn't look like the people they played. Which may be true

in the case of one because real life sleuths have like found his stalker Martha as she's known on the show. Yeah. She's performed so well. Oh my god. Terrifyingly. Give her all the acting awards.

She will win next year's awards that unhinged happiness and Darian O'Connor the TV writer and producer yes who plays him

people outed some other guy that he's friends with yeah had a goatee and the guy's like look I'm taking legal action

and the creator had to come out and say this is my friend it's not him this is not what the this is my friend. It's not him. This is not what the show, you know, don't It's not a documentary. Don't stalk these people. This isn't what we want.

Yeah. Oh gosh. But then also, what did he expect when he made that show? Like that people wouldn't look for them? Of course. Anything based in real life, like almost before it's finished, I'm on Wikipedia. Oh, 100%. Yeah. And I'm just like reading for hours and hours and hours. I mostly do it to see if they

cast people who look like the actual people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I always want, being a casting director would be so much fun being like, this is what they look like. Okay, I've got to find someone that looks enough like them. Yeah. That people who know what they really look like for buying. Yeah, he said they've gone complete opposites. Yeah. It's so, it's really, really

good. Hasn't stopped the internet. So that was. It's intense. It's not for everybody I will say. Yeah, it said they've gone complete opposites. Yeah. It's really, really good. Hasn't stopped the internet. It's intense. It's not for everybody, I will say. Yeah, it was the second biggest show last week in the world after Fallout, which was the most streamed last week with 1.2 billion minutes watched last week. Oh, my God. Baby Reindeer was number two, 647 minutes.

And then the show Unlocked that we talked about last week, where they open up the jail and people can just kind of mingle. It's like a social experiment in a real life jail. That was amazing. Can I make another recommendation to lighten the mood after Baby Reindeer? Which as we mentioned, watch with caution

and maybe check the trigger warnings on it because they're very quick at the top and then you're like far out is Dream Scenario it's a movie that's on Apple and you can hire it for like a dollar and it's Nicolas Cage

Oh this is one where everyone starts dreaming about him I saw the trailer for this, it looks amazing It's like a sort of very arthouse. He's so well shot and performed. Almost like a kind of commentary on cancel culture. And it's this guy who like pops up just randomly. It pops up in people's dreams around the world with no explanation.

And kind of becomes a celebrity. And then it kind of flips because people in the dream, you know, it's just he's not in control of what his dream persons do. It's so really good. I loved it. And check it out. Yeah, a little recommendation. I just worked something out.

No matter I'm such a bit of a horndog recently. Because, so according to this research, there is an ideal tempo to make love to. Right. And there's a bit of a playlist of songs that'll guide you along that tempo. As in the music that you listen to whilst in the throes of passion or in the throes of passion, is there a rhythm? Well, oh yeah, Chicken Egg. There's a rhythm, like a good rhythm

And these songs go to that rhythm Okay And the reason I was like, no wonder I know this tempo so well It's 120 beats a minute, which is the marching beat That's marching So there's 60 seconds. Two a second. Yeah, yeah, right.

There's 60 seconds in a minute, so 120 would be two. Okay. Yeah. So I'm like, I feel 120 BPM in my soul. Seven Nation Army with the White Stripes? Just when you're like... There would be like a playlist, right? What is a 120 BPM playlist? Yeah, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Make it a bit smart. There would be like a playlist, right? You could Google. What is it, 120 BPM playlist?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's some on this go-to songs for Sayics, but you can chuck in some after. Because there's, I want to dance with somebody, Whitney Houston. Oh, okay. This is the rhythm we're doing it to. That's good thrusting.

It's very, it's quite plonky. Okay, good news if you like Lady Gaga, Poker Face, that's on the list. Does it have to get into it? Oh, you hear, okay. Now we're doing, doing it, making love to each other. Yeah, I suppose this would be the kissing.

This is real humping. This should be called h kissing. This is real humping. This should be called humping. This is humping music. It's not making love. Which should be slow and sensual and feeling it. The breaths. Or just varied. Bit of fast, bit of slow.

Yeah, this is the same. Same tempo. You can just feel that same like. I've got some more I could chuck in the mix here. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Around the World by Daft Punk.

Fletch, this is as loud as I can put it. Really? Oh, come on. Have you turned up your volume bar? What about your slider bar? Slider bar's up, baby. Slider bar. Maybe it's just a...

What about this? Oh, that's better. I like... That ushers. Usher's humping music. You're so right I like that. Usher's humping music. You're so right. Usher is humping music. Now, this is lovemaking music.

No, but the tempo is still the same. Is it? It sounds slow. Okay. It's gentler. It's softer. Don't do the actions and the grunting. I always do the grunting.

What are you doing with your fingers? We are touching the nipples. Tickling under the armpits Earlobes What am I How dare you defile Fleetwood Mac Oh okay I'm not trying to hurt anyone I'm reminded of that documentary

Did you watch the documentary? I cried so much on a plane watching that documentary Harrowing life Those are the things I want to think about Oh yeah tragedy documentary. I cried so much on a plane watching that documentary. Yeah, no. Harrowing life. Those are the things I want to think about. Oh yeah, tragedy. Absolutely. If you're not making

love to the Bee Gees you ain't living baby. For which one is the last time you made love to the Bee Gees? Never. We should all make it a goal this week

to make love to the Bee Gees. Achievement unlocked. Terrible. No, I cannot stand the Bee Gees. You can't. No, I cannot stand the Bee Gees. You can't. Oh, my God. I love the Bee Gees. But a Carly Rae Jepsen.

Jepsen? Why does it sound like Jepsen? The Jepsen. It's a meat Carly Rae Jepsen. Yeah, it's all 120. It's all 120. That's the rhythm. Oh, yeah.

120. So you can march to any of these songs. You can march to any beat, but if you're marching, classic marching in the technical phase of the sport, the technical discipline of the sport, it's 120 BPM. Come as you are. Again, a miserable life. Yeah.

I mean, but, you know, come as you are. Why not? This is 120 beats per minute. Yeah. That beat in the background, yeah. Okay, well, there know, come as you were. Why not? Is this 120 beats per minute? Yeah. That beat in the background, yeah. Okay, well, there you go. There you go. There's a whole playlist.

120 BPM. Now, this is some hot stuff. Hot stuff on a summer. I'm thinking of some middle-aged men taking off their clothes and spinning them around. And if we've made love to the Bee Gees, we'd be fools not to make love to... Abba. Abba. Oh, yeah.

Give me, give me, give me a man after midnight. A man. A man. Some of these titles even really lend themselves to lovemaking as well. Only after midnight. Yeah, well, I want a couple of drinks in me. Women before midnight. Women before midnight.

Men after midnight. When do the men stop? At what time of the day? When the sun comes up. He turns into a pumpkin. I'm like a gay vampire. You know? You can't be gay when the sun's up. The problem is I'm also working these horrible hours.

I'm so tired. There's no time for men in my life, unfortunately. Ah, well. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZDM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. The country's public hospitals have been given the target

to save a total of $105 million by July. Now, it's May tomorrow by my calculations. May, June. By July indicates the start of July. Yeah. 60 days or thereabouts to save $105 million. Good and best of luck to them. Godspeed.

The savings are about 1%, 1.2% of a district's budget. Right. So they're going to have to cut a lot of things. Now, I have six fantastic ways to save money for the hospitals. You give great political advice, I think. Yeah. And I'm looking forward to the medical side of that. You have been called a mouthpiece of the left in the past.

That's been thrown around. I've been called worse. Yes. I've got the top six ways for the health Sisters to save $105 million in 60 days. Number six on the list. Don't treat any politicians family members. You know, there's got to be, we've got to make sacrifices. That's what they're always saying.

Why should it always be the people at the bottom? There's got to be sacrifices. And I'm just saying that if you go and they're like, related to a politician and you're like, oh yes, my uncle's Chris Bishop. See you later. I don't care if your leg's falling off.

Sorry. This is just the rules. Number five on the list of the top six ways for the health system to save $105 million in 60 days. Just shut on Saturdays

and Sundays. Are they the busiest days for ER because of all the drunk people? Exactly. So it's best for us to then just sit at home quietly on Saturdays and Sundays. are they the busiest days for ER because of all the drunk people exactly so best for us to then just sit at home quietly on Saturdays and Sundays don't move

don't hammer anything eat anything shops used to be shut on Saturday and Sunday people got a weekend that's a great way of saving it too because that's two sevenths I don't know that as a percentage but it saving it too. Because that's two sevenths. Yeah. I don't know that as a percentage, but it's heaps more than 1.2%.

Yeah. Don't worry about it. I'm saving money. Number four on the list of the top six ways for the health system to save $105 million in 60 days. Stop using painkillers or anesthesia in surgeries. Either you bring your own Panadol or a belt to bite because it's really going to hurt. Let's take it back to the old days. Yeah, it's going to really hurt.

But we're saving money. But we're saving money because it's very expensive. So even sort of amputations and... You bite the belt. Bite the belt. Bite the belt. Glug, glug, glug.

Bring your own whiskey. Remember when they'd... Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Bite the belt. Soar off the leg with a blunt sword. The cheap, or'd go like, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, bite the bout, sore off the leg with a blunt sword. The cheap, or as I like to call them,

the good old days. The good old days. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six ways for the health system to save $105 million in 60 days. I think

they do too much cleaning. Oh, yeah. You know, when you go to the supermarket and you're like, oh, it's one of those trips where I need to buy cleaning products. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's always a really expensive trip. Yeah. It's like You know, when you go to the supermarket and you're like, oh, it's one of those trips where I need to buy cleaning products? Yeah.

Oh, my God. And it's always a really expensive trip. Like $100 extra when you top it everything up. Yeah. I say we just stop cleaning hospitals as much.

I actually think that's really smart. Okay, what about infections and the bacteria from the pussy? Again, I reckon spray vodka on it. I reckon.

The way vodka just sprays. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. I'm going to bite the bell. Spit it everywhere. Right. That'll stop it. Maybe after. The only way a vodka could just break. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. I'm going to have to bite the bell. Spit it everywhere. Right. That'll stop it. Maybe after every fifth surgery we can clean.

Okay. That's saying so much on cleaning products. So much. Blood is blood. Do you know what I mean? Blood is blood. Blood is blood.

Blood is blood. I haven't heard anybody talk about HIV for ages. I assume that's done. I think we've sorted it. Yeah. I don't know if it is. Tick.

Right. Done. Blood is blood. Number two on the list of the top six ways for health system and hospitals to save $105 million

in 60 days. Do you know who I think cost too much money? Who? Doctors. Oh, okay. I say we hire half the doctors

we've currently got. Right. And then take that money and spread it amongst internet experts. Who are dishing out advice on the internet for free all the time.

Yeah. Yes. Presumably they'll do the same In person in a hospital Just go to a medical, get some medical influences in For half the price What about if they If we paid doctors half What we pay them Which is already not enough

But they only have to train Half as long and no half as much. That also rules. Do you know what I mean? That works for me. No, I don't. We should pay them all because they've studied so hard to understand. Like, for example, you've come to me.

I'm a doctor in the hospital. What's the problem? I'm missing my leg. Are you just going to... You're healed. With sound. I healed you with sound. No, you've got to... You're healed. I healed you with sound. No, you've got to reattach it. I healed you with sound.

He did Reiki. Do you not feel it? You need the special sauce. Right. Thank you very much. Oh, my God. It just magically reattached itself. Yeah, it's going to grow back.

Thank you, Dr. Smith. You're welcome. Drink some green tea. A lot of green tea. Okay. And do it's going to grow back. Thank you, Dr. Smith. You're welcome. Drink some green tea. A lot of green tea. Okay. And do you ice bath? I can. It shows that you don't.

You can wimp off your limbs back. Yes. Can you? It's called limhoff. It grows out. Little fingies pop out. Fingers to heart. Amazing.

Don't stop halfway, though. No. You'll have a nub with fingers. Let's hope they don't count the doctors. And number one on the list of the top six ways for the health system to save $105 million in 60 days. I have heard about businesses doing a share space. Okay.

Where you take some of the empty space you have, because you know hospitals, they're just always saying, man, there's so much room in hospitals, no one's ever in a bed in the hallway. They're never saying that. They're never saying that. They're always saying, room, room, everywhere. Is Airbnb in the mouth?

That's what I'm saying. We Airbnb some space because the beds are already in there. Okay. And the SPCA. I'm sure the hospital and the SPCA can come to some sort of agreement. Share some space. Yeah. Because sick people like dogs.

Okay. Even if they're in the ICU. Bring cats in there. And it's like sick people, like dogs. Okay. Even if they're in the ICU. Bring cats in there. And it's like, beep, beep. I just shook a cat on them. I guarantee it'll make them feel better. Makes me feel better. Have some dogs hooning around, pulling out pugs.

You know dogs love chewing on little electrical cords. That takes care of two problems. The dog's going to die when it electrocutes itself, and then the life support's not going to work, and the person's going to die as well. We saving money. We saving money. They've already seen it here. Tick, tick the life support's not going to work, and the person's going to die as well. We saving money. We saving money. Live right in the centre here.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. This is what it feels like. This is what it feels like. You should be a cost cutter. You're smart, man. Great stuff, Vaughan. And landlords are going to get their tax back somehow, you know what I'm saying?

That's today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I believe there was a ghost in my house last night It's the only thing I don't believe there was a ghost in your house It's the only thing that I can sort of put it down to Because Rolly was a bit out of sorts all night

And then we got into bed This is your cat This is our cat Rolly And then we got into bed And we were looking up Antique dresses Because that's our hobby Antique dresses or dressers Right into bed and we were looking up antique dresses because that's our hobby. Antique dresses or dressers. Right.

Sideboards. Okay. Right. Oh. I'll cue the spooky music. Yes. Because Rolly wasn't in the bedroom with us. He was and then he left. And then suddenly at like 11 o'clock at night we hear like, you know how cats make that like low rumble

when someone's in the driveway or when another cat's there or something. Or there's a little insect or something or a bird. No, he does it when there's something here and we came out and we're like, what's going on? Like someone's here, turned all the lights on. No, like couldn't obviously see anyone and he was down there and he was down on his belly low,

like looking out towards the back of our house, where the bedroom is and his eyes were bright white like this and he was just like and usually you could be like oi oi stop it stop it but he wouldn't stop. So we went out

we went out and we turned on the deck lights to see out into the backyard, turned on any light that we could find. Obviously, there's like no one there and kept trying to shoo him away. But he wouldn't give it up. And he was like fixed on a corner of the room. I was like, this is giving Big Blair Witch Project energy. Okay.

He's never done this before. Like he's always growled when there's someone there. Okay. He's never done this before. Like he's always growled when there's someone there. Right. I mean I'd love it now if Aaron texted me and was like oh no we straight up got robbed last night. My car's been broken into. But there was nothing there. Did you check the cameras? They're not on at the moment. So if you wanted to break into my house

now's the right time. Why don't you have them on? Well because I don't know because we were building and then we didn and then we had to keep moving them. Okay, well, that's today's job. Because if there's a ghost, it'll be on the camera. Well, I'm wondering if it's the same ghost that my neighbours saw. Because my neighbours, they've got the same cameras as us.

And they asked us, like, did you notice anything suspicious in our house? And there was this orb, like a light. No shit, I can show you the footage. Here we go. There was a light like floating around the top of their camera and the only way it could have, you could get your cameras

from the roof. It's probably a glow worm. A glow worm. A floating glow worm. Yeah, a floating glow worm. Glow worms to me anyway. Just a single glow worm. Or a bug, it could have been a bug. No, it was a floating glowworm. Glowworms can be anywhere. Just a single glowworm. Or a bug. It could have been a bug. No, it was a huge glowing what?

Glowing. What bugs glow? It'll just be some light reflection. Because when our security camera comes on and a moth flies in front of it, if it goes quick, it reflects it back. There's something in the wings. No, this wasn't.

It was a glowing orb. And actually, when we bought the house, someone that we used to work with, Lucy Vaughan, she used to own my house, and she said, there is a ghost. She's like, heads up, there's a ghost. Just keep it chill. And we've never met the ghost.

I think we've met the ghost. Well, Rolly did anyway. Your cat. And then hid under met the ghost. I think we've met the ghost. Well, Rolly did anyway. Your cat. And then hid under the bed like he was terrified. Stayed there all night. So you've got an ugly ghost. Yeah, a minger.

It might be a dog. Dog ghost. Dog ghost, yes. Oh, we're not a dog friendly house. I always feel like if there were ghosts and they stayed behind because the spirit

had unfinished business, it would be like dogs. There needs to be more animal ghosts. Because dogs always think they've got something else to do. Like get more pets. Wouldn't be a cat because cats literally have nothing to achieve in life. They die and they're like, to be honest, it lasted longer than I expected.

Yeah, I'm exhausted. Worcester. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole today is do you enjoy solo travel? That is travelling by oneself. I've only done it properly once. Like a big trip. Yeah. Overseas to lots of different places. I don't think I've ever done it by myself. Yeah.

I liked it, but there were just definitely moments where you'd be beholding something and you'd sort of be like, turn to be like, cool. How about that? Or you'd be like, oh, I want Aaron to see this. Wouldn't it be cool if he was here? Definitely different for female solo travelling as well. I was just reading this article actually.

There's a travel blogger, I guess, which I think I've decided is my dream job. Yeah, but you and everybody else. Yeah, that's the problem, right? She did all these tips for solo female travellers because I guess safety is the main thing. Have you ever followed any travel bloggers? On YouTube, I have. Wow, that's a cool video.

And then you start following them and all they do is travel and you're like, get stuffed. And also, they'd be exhausted as well. Poor things. And beer bugs. Poor buggers. But like staying in female-only host exhausted as well. Poor things. And beer bugs. Poor buggers. But like staying in female only hostels

was one of the things. Don't trust anyone. That's your life motto. Yeah well that's my life motto. Use apps to book hostels and transport so it's all like easily

accessible on your phone. And also you know we've all had those offers. Do you want to ride from the airport? And then you end up at a market.

Yeah I've had that. Well that's not open today yeah a leather store yeah or a suit shop or a jewelry outlet thailand classics yes yeah so do you enjoy solo travel 57 of people said yes 43 said no i've always been of the opinion that i'd rather just go somewhere Like I'd rather be at an amazing place Whether it's with someone or by myself Who cares You're a solo creature though Yeah You are a tiger

They're solo creatures aren't they Tigers And cute Yep so cute They're gonna bite Yeah that's true they'll rip you to true. They'll rip you to shreds. They will rip you to shreds. Or lick you.

Yeah, and you don't know which one's coming. Lottie Jones. Oops, shouldn't have said the last name. I just read it. I just blurted it off the tongue. It's a cool name, Lottie. It is a good name. I don't like people.

Joking aside, I'm comfortable in my own company. It means I can go at my own pace, whatever or wherever I'm going. Yeah, I like that aspect of it. But today I don't feel like doing anything. Or today I feel like having a huge adventure not being, I mean, you'd get this, Fletch. You're like, today I want to climb a mountain or today I want to be a sack of shit and bed.

Yeah, absolutely. And if I'm going to climb a mountain, I want to sprint it. Yeah. I want to be dragged with my slow-ass mates. And then when I say I'm going to be a sack of shit and stay in bed all day, I might do a three kilometre swim, do a mini like Iron Man. Oh, sorry, I mean,

that's his version of being a sack of shit in bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, doing an Iron Man. I'm such a sack of shit, all I did was a massive walk and a swim. Yeah, and ate well, and drank lots of water and got the recommended amount of sunlight in outdoor time.

And I didn't... Remember gut health as well. And fermented goods, just ate nothing but kimchi all day yeah just kimchi kimchi kimchi sauerkraut

mass evacuations have you seen this guy's fridge recently no what do you mean I stayed you went away this weekend and I stayed at your house

on Thursday night and I got a bit hungry so I went looking oh yeah there's no snacks no snacks I had to open up a bag of chips that I'd already given to him

I did notice one of the bags of chips was gone. It was open, yeah. And I went in his fridge. It's just, it's almost American Psycho. It's just bottles of water that he's got from his thick tap and put in the fridge. What are you putting that shit in the fridge for?

So I'm not getting any more palatable. For my soda stream. There's nothing. There's eggs, there's kimchi, there's kefir, and there's water. Yeah, but I was away. So that's why there's nothing in my fridge. It's always like that. I was like, this is the fridge of a psychopath.

It's the fridge of gut health. Yeah. That's what it is. Fridge of shitting yourself. Jessie says, so far, I've enjoyed traveling solo. I'm going. Are you okay? Right on.

I'm 33, going to Europe for six weeks next month. Never left the country. First passport ever turns up Tuesday. Oh, exciting. Wow. The first time you go to Europe, it says you're jumping into the frying pan that is Europe. Do it. You'll just love it.

It's amazing. Felicity, all my friends are like Vaughn, and I'm more of the organized, fletched one. I don't need to be stressed every time I leave the house, so she prefers solo. Too blessed to be stressed. Yeah. Lisa says, part of the joy of traveling is having someone to share the memories with.

That's nice. Agree. Agree. Nina, because I'm a wimp and I wouldn't do as much if I went by myself, I like to share experiences plus strengthen numbers. Yeah, but then you're also missing out. Like, it sounds like there could have been times when you could have travelled.

Yeah, true. But if you travelled and you were just anxious the entire time, it would not be enjoyable. No. Probably not for you if you're like that. Anis is going solo so you can have your morning poo in peace. That just sounds like you want to live a life alone, to be

honest. You poop every morning, not just when you're on holiday. I've got a rule, though, with friends, including Morgan, sexologist Morgan. We travel together. Number two's in the lobby. Oh, really? Number two's in the lobby. Watch this straight up there in the middle of the lobby. Just drop a goose. That's how you get kicked out of hotels. That's rude, man. That's disgusting for me. No, the lobby. Oh, really? Number two's in the lobby. Which is straight up there in the middle of the lobby. That's how you get kicked out of hotels. That's rude, man. That's disgusting for me. No, the lobby hotel.

The bathroom toilet. No. Or downstairs, find the restaurant. Our rule is like, you go away so I can poop. No, because then you defile the room. Give me some space. The smell. Your lobby's number two's in the lobby. Oh, yeah, because hotels

a lot of the time don't have toilet windows to pop open. They need their own extractor fan. Despite being a massive introvert, I'd much rather travel with someone, says Nat. It sucks on you lonesome. Do it a lot for work and it's so isolating. Only fun bit is eavesdropping

in the koru lounge. It's a cesspit for privileged people airing their pathetic first world problems. It really is. Yes, amazing. Yeah. Like, oh, there's no coffee mousse left. You two, looking at you two. I'm just saying, why is it only a regional thing?

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and I will say their Coronation Chicken Sandwiches are dry. Yeah, that is a dry. Again, just getting back to that point. I don't want to bat your wenge. Getting back to that point. And only like two different types of crackers, please. Give me something oaty, darling.

Give me something oaty. Do you know what I mean? And don't say you're having salads and put a bunch of beans in a bowl. That's not a salad. That's not a salad. That's a mess. I know. You're taking away four bowls of that every time.

I'll tell you why. It sucks. Would it kill you to put a Chenin Blanc in the fridge? Would it kill you? Why did they take the whiskey away in domestic? That's all I'm saying. Not everyone. Give me it. Give me it. Give me it. Where's the hard liquor That's all I'm saying. Give me it.

Give me it. Give me it. Where's the hard liquor? Give me it. Give me it. Give me it. This is why work will cancel your coru one day. Mason says, sold all the way.

I can stay where I want, do what I want without someone else wanting a say in overpriced hotels or going to some dumb ass crap that I've got no interest in. Wow. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. Oh, that's a nice saying. That's nice.

Are we going to chuck that in? Oh, we didn't come up with that. We didn't come up with it. We're working on our quote. Quote calendar. Quotelander. That's what it's called. Oh, the Quotelander.

FVHS Quotelander. Yeah, that's good from you. Really good from you. There can be only 12. Yeah, which is a take on Highlander. There can be only one. There can be only one. Yeah. Which is a take on Highlander. There can be only one. There can be only one. Next, Vaughan, you're in trouble with the missus.

Yep. It's about to get worse, I reckon. Yes. After you talk about it on the radio, yes. Yep. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, this all started after last week's Q&A on Sex.Life, the podcast.

Yes. With Hayley and Morgan. They were answering questions and there was an episode where Morgan took, this is funny, Morgan took someone she knew but she was also working with who had not had many sexual encounters. Yeah. Had been in a marriage had many sexual encounters. Yeah. Had been in a marriage since they were young. Yeah, and prior to the marriage hadn't had many, if any,

sexual encounters, whereas the husband, prior to their relationship, had really played the field. Got the numbers up. Somebody thought it was Sade and I, which I will take. And we named. I will take it as a compliment someone wants to know if the friend is Sade

Smith my wife and I'll take that that I certainly played the field before we got married and she didn't because I'm such a catch anyway it's not us but it was very funny and Sade shared it on her Instagram,

being like, maybe I'll go to a sex club with Morgan or something. And then Morgan was like, come to an undies party. And then I found that very funny because when Morgan replied saying that, Sade was wearing some beige stretchy sleeping undies. Big marital undies. Yeah, marital. The marital gruts. If I were to call them undies, I'd call them gruts.

Right, okay. What did Sade say about going to an undie party? Well, she said maybe I'll go. Because I'm keen to go to one. I was like, when would you go? I was like, you are so like, you worry about what everyone thinks. And I was laughing about it. I was like, you're more likely to go if they've got a naps and tickles club.

Because you love your tickles. Why don't you just be lying there? We'll be going to bed. I'll be already in bed. She'll have been on her phone watching hours worth of reels and then roll over and be like, tickles.

And I'll be like, I'm asleep. I'm 95% shut down. Yeah. I've been forced quitting all my programs for the day. I'm putting myself out. The've been force quitting all my programs for the day, I'm putting myself the screensaver's on

I'm about to go into power saving mode baby she's wiggling the mouse she's in the space bar she's only hitting the space bar so that the space bar can give her some tickles she's like tickles if there was a club for tickles and naps you'd probably go to that and she was like yeah that'd be a good club

and then I was like yeah it's your a club for tickles and naps you're probably good at that and she was like yeah that'd be a good club yeah and then i was like yeah i mean it's your favorite it's your hobby i'd say is taking naps and she like laughed about it and i was like we're having fun yeah then i thought we're having fun i'll include other people and then in the gaggle group chat which is shada is also in i said I've made a couple of jibes about how Sade would love to, but she's currently napping. Or, oh, no, she's only had one nap today, and she's really got to squeeze in that second nap at some stage today because she does love napping.

Yeah. Okay. She loves She's Nappy Girl Radio. Yeah. You know, that did quote a 2004 song. I feel like it was 2004. She's Nappy Girl Radio. Yeah. You know, that did quote a 2004 song. I feel like it was 2004. And she, it turns out, does not like me so often publicly referring to how often she naps.

Right, a bit too close to the bone there, is it? Yeah. No, but you have to read your tone in which you submitted the nap comment. It's searing. It's a searing time. It's a searing time, yeah. Which was we were all sharing little pictures of what we were doing. Some of us were at a-

You went away to Melbourne for the weekend with a portion of the gaggle. And when we were at the pub with a smaller portion of the gaggle, which by the way, we were going to meet for lunch, but we moved it to three because Sade could only do three. And then we get there at three

and Sade's not even there. Nap two. Nap number two. You should have gone between naps and then we get there at three, and Sade's not even there. Nap two. Nap number two. You should have gone between naps. So we were sending photos, like, we're here, we're here. And then Vaughn said. Some of us have been working all day. Some of us have been working all day.

Next message, bracket, others have been napping off and on. The next message is just F off, Vaughn. But it's not F. It's the full word from your wife. But so at this stage, you would think a wise man would pull back. Pull back. Yeah. Apologize, maybe.

She's had enough. Yeah. A wiser man would double down. And so yesterday I came in. My dad was up. We were building. Like the five days we took off by the way I've done five full days

of labour and it sucks I don't know if you're off to work today and you do a hard job where you've got to do labour all day I'm feeling your pain

we feel you I'm feeling your pain I've done it and I don't like it it's very exhausting it's sore because it's actual work sweaty

but look the tangible thing you made it's pretty cool being at the end of the day being like, made that. Yeah. Played a part of Meganette. I've done that. Passed my dad a nail gun so he could do it. I don't want to

use that. That thing goes bang and it's a bit scary. You were the tool boy. I was the tool boy. I was the apprentice. Yeah. But yesterday I went inside to get something and I walked into the room and she was sideways across the bed and I said, what's this pose here? And she's like, I'm just, I'm lying.

And I was like, you're circumnavigating nap rules. Nap rules are in the bed the correct way, head on pillow. She's sideways. I was like, huh. So technically it's not a nap. And she's like, I'm not napping. I was like, she's lounging.

She's lounging. She's lounging. I love a lounge. She's trying to loophole the nap. She's saying she's lounging now She's lounging. She's lounging. I love a lounge. She's trying to loophole the nap. She's saying she's lounging now. You've got a lounge every now and then. She's lounging. Are you allowed to nod off during a lounge?

No. No, no, no. But you can be, get in there. And you're like, oh, must get up. You've got to say that every now and then. Oh, must get up. I'll get up in five. Yeah, give me five.

Give me five. Okay. Yeah, so I'm hoping that the amount of teasing that I do about her napping will reduce the naps unless she doubles down or doubles down and sleeps all day. Then she'll have me. The next step will be just not get out of bed. You get out of bed to go to work about 4.30. Sort of a Grandpa Joe on Charlie and the Trunk of Factory situation.

I live here now. Husbands. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. I saw this over the time we had off. I can't remember if it was the weekend. It was a blur, five days of blur. But one night on the news, they had a story of a nine-year-old boy called cooper from the uk who had traveled to a belgian coastal town to compete in the ec gull screeching competition this is a european way

european competition what is it ec i don't know the european easy cool cool easy cool competition gull screeching competition uh it's a babe of people who like seagulls. Right. You know, they're in the bird of the year every year and you're like, meh. And it's like endangered. You're like, well, are they? Meh.

I don't like it. It seems like there's like a million of them. But there's different species. There's different types. There's different types. Now, do you want to hear his noise first or do you want to hear his background story? I'll give you his background story.

Background story. Yeah. Now, Cooper's first run-in with a seagull, he was eating a tuna sandwich at the beach and one nipped at him. Oh, okay. And then made the noise. And he was a bit like, ah.

So that's when he started making the noise and started doing impressions of them. He has stated that he would like to be seagull boy like Spider-Man. Right. But seagull, bitten by a seagull. What magical powers would you get? You can't have like webs and stuff. You're just flying

and eat chips. Being annoying. Hungry. Pretend you've got one leg. Never seeing your babies. Never seeing the babies I guess. Yeah. He said I feel like they're a nice animal. I like them because of the noise but I am a bit wary of eating at the beach. So when I'm at the beach now and I eat I eat in a small tent. The last meal I eating at the beach. So when I'm at the beach now and I eat, I eat in a small tent.

The last meal I had at the beach was an ice cream. They just asked him a series of like, really one like, what was the last thing you ate at the beach, Cooper? The last thing I ate at the beach was that ice cream. And do you eat at the beach out in the open? I ate at the beach in a little tent. And then they were strung together to make it sound like he was telling them a story, but he's been led by questions.

So he's very, very good. It's undeniable that he's very, very good. He's beaten adults. He won the juvenile category. He got 92%, 92 points out of 100, 92%. How do you mark 100 points? I do not know. Surely it's a four out of five star situation.

You know what I mean? So he won juvenile and he also won the highest points of the competition. The only category he didn't win was colonies because he didn't have a group to do it with. Colonies were where like

a whole lot of people would go together and do it all together. Imagine travelling to a competition as a group because you're doing group seagull noises.

Warming up. Alright guys. Fletch, remember you're taking the mid. Okay. And Vaughn, you're going on top. I'll base. It's our year, guys. There's a competition for this.

He also has a mascot that he takes with him called Steven. Yep. His parents said it's called Stephen Seagull. After Stephen Seagull, sex offender, I changed the name. What is, okay, is he dressed as a seagull? You bet he is. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's got a costume too.

Good. A marine biologist and was just like, okay, so this kid just doesn't like mimic the noises he can do, like different call types. He's a very very impressive individual for making the noise. He can do like different call types. He's a very, very impressive individual for making the noise. So now, if you haven't already heard it, here is Cooper, nine

year old from the UK and his award winning seagull impression. Oh, that's good. The crowd! The crowd goes wild. The crowd. They're like, oh, yeah. Oh, dang it.

Good. Great. Yeah. How's he doing that? Oh, and the rapture from the crowd. The best thing about the news is they just kept, like, they had the video of him doing it and competing and winning and then they had,

they'd put it in front, do it again. I know, but describe what he, describe what he's looked like, what he looks like while he's doing it. A silly boy?

He looks like a seagull. No, he's in a seagull outfit. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's dressed as a seagull. I'm just saying.

He did that dress as a seagull. Picture. Yeah. And his sister was like, had some hot chips in a wrapped up newspaper and he was like pecking at it. Can you make any good animal noises? It's wholesome.

I whistle to the tuis, but I can't really seamlessly work in the little that they do at the end. You know, tuis are Like a little buzzer. You're like Yeah, and then they go and then fantails,

very simple, if you go like that and bend your fingers over and then lick your knuckles and then like That just sounds like you. It's a fantail. Fantails respond to that

very well too. Oh, that's cute. You got a really good No, you do a good cat, don't you. It's a fantile. Fantiles respond to that very well too. Do they? Oh, that's cute. Okay. You do a good cat, don't you? Meow. I do a good upset cat. Meow. Producer Jared does a chicken. Now, I will say that when he housed that for us,

he thought the rubber eggs that you leave as the eggs so the chickens know where to lay the eggs, he thought those were just off eggs. Wild. So I don't know if this guy knows chickens. It would be nice to go a month without that story

coming back up it's just a story that keeps giving isn't it everyone always sees the rubber eggs in the lay box I'm like

how did he think these were just like stale eggs so good okay give us your chicken yeah that's quite good actually is it is it good Yeah, that's quite good actually. Is it?

Is it good? Are we just being nice? Are we being, I think we're being nice. No, he's getting that little like pained moan. Popping out her neck. Carwin, what we got? What we got? Carwin's like, don't look at me.

Do an animal noise. What's your best animal noise? Do a goat or something or a sheep. What? What's your best animal noise? Do a goat or something or a sheep. What's your best animal noise? I don't think I have one. I don't know what my... What are you doing? What's that? Could be a moose, could be a cow.

Could be anything. Could be anything. It's got a horse. It's definitely got hooves when I'm making. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We've all had fun on the shot over jet, haven't we? It's definitely got hooves when I make it. We've all had fun on the shot over jet, haven't we? You know, in Queenstown. Love it. It's an absolute blast.

Cold, icicles pricking your face as you jet around. You get very close to the rocks, don't you? Yeah. It's adrenaline. Too close for my liking. Yeah. It's a thrill. Too close. Hands inside. Yeah. It's a thrill. Too close.

Hands inside the craft. Please. I would say the last time I went on a shot over jet I hooped and I hollered the whole time. Yeah. It's good fun.

And so did everyone else on the boat which I think is encouraged. Now your hooping and hollering wasn't I always thought it was hooting and hollering. You've said hooping

and hollering. Like hooping cough. Hooping. Hooting. Yeah I was like it was hooting and hollering. You've said hooping and hollering. Like hooping cough. Hooping. Hooting. Yeah, I was like. It's hooting and hollering. Hooting and hollering. I've always said hooping and hollering.

It's hooting and hollering. Now, I hope that wasn't. I thought it was boot scooting. Boot scooting and hollering on the jet boat. I hope that wasn't off-putting to tourists. No, all the tourists on the boat were all hooting and hooping and all hollering. Can we tell you another funny story about the shot of a jet?

Yes. Our friend, Char, who we haven't seen for a while. I don't know if you've seen this. She went to the shot of a jet with Jamie McDowell. Yes. And Jamie McDowell, you know, when a famous person goes to the shot of a jet, they take a photo and they say,

here's Tom Cruise enjoying the Shotover Jet. And on her photo it says, New Zealand golfer Lydia Ko and Jamie McDowell enjoy the Shotover Jet. Now, she is Asian, but she's not Lydia Ko. Oh, no. I saw the photo and messaged her and I was like, I didn't know you played golf. And it's still up there.

It's still up there. I do believe it's been taken down. Yeah, I do believe that because I think she might have reached out. That was very funny. I mean, I wouldn't be upset being Lydia Coe. No. I'm using that more often. Yeah.

I'm Lydia Coe. How about some freebies? Oh, yeah, same, same, same. Quickly hook me up with some freebies before I hit the holes. I don't know if they say that, but okay. We're like, God, we've got to go hit these holes, guys. Let's go. So Ngai Tahu Tourism has had to actually issue an apology

for operating the Shotover Jet in Queenstown on Anzac Day because it went right past. With hooting and hollering? With hooting, hooping and hollering. I'm having the time of my life. I'm Lydia Colbitch. During an Anzac Day memorial service. Not only that, during the moment in which they play The Last Post.

Oh no! I wouldn't have thought it would have been open. Everything's shut on hands that morning. No, because tourists places have an exemption, don't they? Do they? Yeah. Yeah, well I would, yeah. For public holidays. So it was during the morning, they were

in the middle, you know, by the Edith Cavill Bridge. They were having a beautiful. Is there also a monument by the bridge? Or the bridge itself is a monument to like a nurse? It was named after a World War I nurse. Right. Edith Cavill.

So that's, yeah, the bridge is a place of significance. Of course, a great place to remember on our Anzac Day. Yeah. As less we forget. And this thing just went boom! Right through. So they've apologised

being like, how mad V8 did you hear coming? With the sprays and the smiths. Yeah. Oh dear.

Now look. I mean, it was a genuine mistake, right? I mean, we all knew it was a handshake thing. Yeah, true. We all knew. Anyway, they interrupted quite an important moment. And that's what I would like to put to the people today. Is when did you interrupt an important moment?

Maybe you bust on in. Into a room. Hooting and hollering. All loud. Yeah, and you've interrupted something of significance. Someone's getting fired in the boardroom and you just thought the boardroom was empty. I think, have I done something that,

I remember when I worked in retail, busting in, you know, like playing the fool. Yeah. While someone was getting a verbal warning in a meeting. Right. But I don't think I've interrupted anything like terrible, like bad news. You bust into a room and there's some kind of wake going on. And you're like, cheer up, what's happening in here?

And they're like, we're literally remembering Nana. Okay, 0800 DARS at end. This is what we want to ask this morning. You can text in 9696. Were you a bit of a shot over jet? And did you interrupt a very important moment? Guns a-blazin'. We want to know when you've interrupted a very important moment

or a moment that really didn't need an interruption because an Anzac memorial during the last post was interrupted by a shot over jet in Queenstown. Hooning past. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Not great. During the bugle, so.

Yeah, when everyone's silent. Yeah, we're really doing our key remembering. Jess, did you interrupt a moment? I sure did. I used to be like a nanny for a family of three little kids and this one morning, every Tuesday at 10, they had swimming. But one of the kids was sick, so we weren't going that morning.

Right. So their house was like the garage, and then the laundry connected it to the house. He kind of walked through it. Oh, yeah. So I was just busted down the hallway, walked out into the laundry, the basket of laundry, and there's Dad with a woman that's not his wife. Oh, shit.

I think he thought that we were at swimming. What state? Was he in a state of undress? Yeah. They were getting acquainted. Wow. Did you say, now would be a great time to talk about my pay rise? Yes.

Yeah, my hourly rate just went up. I very awkwardly said, oh, sorry. I don't know why I apologised. And just backed out with a basket and shut the door. I was like, that ain't my problem. I'm not getting off. Did you talk about it? No.

Well, I was already finishing up in a couple of months anyway to start another job. So I was like, you know what? That ain't my problem. I'm not doing it. He would have spent that two months was already finishing up in a couple of months anyway to start another job. So I was like, you know what? That ain't my problem. I'm not doing this. He would have spent that two months with you finishing up. Fretting. Fretting. I should have blackmailed.

I really should have helped you. You should have been. You must have had a lot of money there. Was this overseas or in New Zealand? No, it was in New Zealand, yeah. Oh, wow. It was in New Zealand. It's never too late To blackmail

No I mean blackmail Is illegal It is a crime Yeah Damn Is adultery still a crime? No

No No Wow Oh my god Because I thought You were going to say Oh no it's just some rich family In like London or something

Because you know how Everyone nannies For some rich family In London Yeah no Wow Just an average Kiwi family. Just an average, well, I mean, yeah.

Jeez. Amazing. Jess, thank you. Keep your texts coming in 9696. You can call as well, 0800-DARZIT-N. Do you know, I would be really awkward and I wouldn't leave. I'd just watch and be like, wow, this is crazy what you're doing. And just like not leave and see what they do.

Who's she? Hi, I'm the nanny. Who are you? Yeah, what's your name? That's crazy. Anyway, keep your calls coming with what you interrupted at the wrong moment. You want to know what you interrupted, what you shouldn't have interrupted. Yeah, maybe an important moment.

Yeah, like the last post on Anzac Day with a big old shot over jet. Karen, good morning. Good morning. I am a teacher, so I interrupted a wonderful parent meeting. Yeah, it was really interesting. I ended up casting some music. We're the best thing. We would cast music across our TVs to each other's classrooms.

I decided on that particular afternoon I would do a good old Irish jig in her classroom. Went on kind of, you know, waddling past her room, starting to realise that she had one of the grumpiest parents in her room discussing her child's behaviour. Wait, and you're doing an Irish jig? So you're in the classroom next door, so you open up your phone and select items to, like, screen share to. Put onto her TV.

Ah, gotcha. And you're like, yeah, she's going to love this little jig. And you put it on there. She's going to love it. So this is after all the kids have left school? Yes, we would often do it during school as well. I love that. I love that.

Yeah, it's safe to say I Irish jigged myself up to the principal's office to be told off about my – Yeah, that's safe to say I restrict myself up to the principal's office to be told off about my... Yeah, that's fair. I would have just been like, oh, that was just a mistake. These things happen. No, it was a common occurrence. Well, then that's when you say, whoops, I did it again, and you quote Britney Spears.

And then do a little Britney Spears dance. Oh, no, you don't want to do a Britney Spears dance in the principal's office. Too sexy. She's gone too sexy. Too sexy. Karen, thank too sexy. Too sexy. Karen, thank you. Some messages in.

Somebody said, had a few drinks at a bar. Great start to a story. We found a UE boot. Oh. What a find. Okay. So anyway, we started cranking some very loud, obnoxious music. And we were those people walking around with a speaker, ruining everybody else's silence.

Walked around a corner as we were cranking some very inappropriate music to find somebody was having a private wedding ceremony. Everybody in the club getting to... Everybody in the club. Oh, no. Many years ago, I was invited... Trigger warning. This story contains M-O-T-H.

Why would we do it then? Many years ago, I was invited to my boyfriend's work Christmas party in a lovely old villa in the country. I was outside, had had too many wines, needed to find a toilet. Headed inside, there was a group of people in a circle standing around looking down at something at the front door. I burst through the crowd and walked to the door only to hear gasps

and shouting. They were all watching apparently some amazing rare moth that someone had identified as a very rare moth that I walked in and stomped on straight in the middle of the urgency in the middle of the loo. Good. Hey, someone else has had a day ruined by the shot over. Have a knack for this. We got married in a garden overlooking the shot over river, darling.

In the middle of the ceremony, we had to stop as a jet boat came roaring past. We all went silent and then over the noise, one single voice shouted out, Don't do it! That's good stuff. Cheeky bugger. I joined a work video call late and no one was talking and I just like joined it

and came in hot with, what's going on weirdos? Why aren't you talking? We're having a minute silence for someone in the company who had passed away. Play it. We're having a minute's silence for someone in the company who had passed away. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. I was looking on Facebook Marketplace, as I am wont to do. I love...

I love a peruse on Facebook. I love a peruse. Especially when you get into a good algorithm. Yes. Of like stuff that you like. Yes. And it's just, you're like,

interesting, interesting. Why? Because I've never listed anything, but sometimes I see friends list stuff and I'm like, oh, can't you hide it from your friends? I think you can.

I think you can. I don't know. I don't really list on there either. I'm classic. I go trade me. I want them to take all the money. You hear terrible stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, didn't you run around

the city once? Oh, the cast iron pan situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was awful. Tire kicking. And because there's no real way of rating them, like on Trade Me, you can give bad feedback. This guy gave me the run around. Like, make sure this person has a solid

plan in place. They're a loose goose. It's the wild west. Yeah. And this is just wild. It is. Well, when I, because I visited my mum and dad recently, like a couple of weekends ago,

and they're renovating their house. And before they head to Italy, mum was trying to like get rid of all this stuff that's not going to make it into the final house. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? I mean, the Italy thing falls quite far, unfortunately. But they're renovating the house and trying to get rid of stuff because they bought too much.

Very close to the tree. Anyway, mum was like, I've got to put all this stuff on Trade Me or Marketplace. Really, really nice things, they go on Trade Me. Less nice things, they go on Marketplace. Oh, wow. So there's a tier system. There's a tier system. Okay.

Anyway, I saw it pop up. I don't know how. Maybe it was because I was on Marketplace or because I saw them list, you know, it pops up on my feed or something. She listed a couple of things. One of them was designer desk. I was like, designer, questionable.

It looks cheap. You know, it's like veneer. I was like, designer, questionable. It looks cheap. It's, you know, it's like veneer. It's like not. It's one of those kit set, like MDF warehouse desks.

Patsy, stretching for designer. designer. Okay. Well, it was designed by somebody. Yeah. She's technically

Mr. Anko. She's not wrong. Yeah, yeah. Designer desk. It's designed by someone. So I was like, oh my God,

because she always says, she always messages me being like, these absolute cowboys on Facebook Marketplace and forwards me little chats of people saying, is this this and is this that? And can I have a measurement from armpit to armpit and this and that and da da da. She's like, I'm bloody sick of this.

So I messaged her on designer desk, Patsy. And I said, hi there. May I inquire what's the paint finish on this? Is it a half semi-gloss or a semi-demi with a wipeable matte finish? None of these are paint finishes and are you able to hand deliver to Fiordland National Park and would you accept

instead $7.35? And she said I can hand deliver to Fiordland National Park, I'm on my way to see you October 8th that's my birthday and I said perfect sold! When you get to the park just birthday. Yeah. And I said, perfect, sold. When you get to the park, just yell, caca! And I'll be there in 10 to 24 hours.

I'm wasting your time. Then I see she's got another listening for a Werner multifold ladder. Now, this is one of those real, like, booty ladders. What do you want for it? I'm in the market for a ladder.

Oh, it's been sold, my friend. Son of a bitch. How are you going to get it from the bloody wider upper? Yeah, I don't know. So I messaged on this to waste her time. I said, hi, is this from a house with cats?

My husband has severe allergies that make his balls swell if he's within two kilometres of a cat. Also, can you deliver to Gloria Vale and have you heard about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ? Right. She said, unfortunately, I actually bat for the other team, but I have noticed a few randomly placed extra... Wait, is your mother a lesbian now?

Yeah. Or are us atheists saying we bat for the other team, but I have noticed a few randomly placed extra... Wait, is your mother a lesbian now? Or just a... Are us atheists saying we bat for the other team? I have no idea. She said, I've noticed on myself a few extra nipples, however, which I'm putting down to overexposure to aluminum. And FYI, I have accepted Jesus as my saviour.

And I said, thank you, Patsy. God bless. Will the latter fit in a $10 postage bag? She says, hi Hayley, miss spout. Apologies for the delay. I had to wait for a higher trailer to come available so I could take the ladder to the post shop to have them size it for the most appropriate bubble wrap bag.

If you're happy with $349 track, I'll hire the trailer again tomorrow and get it away in time for the weekend in your roof painting. I said, oh, that's quite pricey. I might just get my cousin John boy to come and pick it up. He's got to pick up some dot, dot, dot goods in your roof painting. And I said, oh, that's quite pricey. I might just get my cousin John boy to come and pick it up. He's got to pick up some dot, dot, dot goods in your area. Now, my mum lives next door, like a pea dealer.

What? I said, I've heard that you're... We've got a couple of silly gooses on our hands here. I heard your neighbour's got the good stuff. So he wants to get that gear and he can come by and grab it. Don't be alarmed by his devastate facial tattoo and ankle bracelet. He's a softie by heart. My mum said, it's all right.

I was going to ask if you were related to him anyway. Didn't you used to work in retail? This whole thing went on for so long. My mum doesn't have time for these sorts of things. No, she didn't know neither. The one thing I love is in this chat, which is the Market Book chat, she said, I've booked in for Apache at five o'clock on Saturday. And I was like, I think you've joined the wrong chat, mum,

which is a dinner booking. And I was like, unless you are now... Wait a minute, there's a place called Apache? Apache? As in like... Vietnamese? Oh, I thought you meant like Apache as in the tribe of the First Nation of...

No, no, slightly different. God, it's just given me all... Oh, the marketplace thing, it's so much stress. It's so much stress, but I had a lot of fun wasting my mother's time with these kind of questions because genuinely people ask this stuff all the time. How's writing for your comedy show going over there? Chuckles?

Haven't finished it. Yeah, didn't think so. Yeah, we concentrate on what we've got already in the calendar. I love like literally all this morning behind the scenes, you're like, I'm so busy, I've got so much stuff to do, but you've literally done hours. 20-minute malarkeys with my mother to absolutely waste your time. Kia ora, good morning, Bryn Rudkin.

Welcome back to the studio. Good morning. It's great to be here. It's lovely to have your dulcet tones on the airwaves. Now, we wanted to catch up with you because something's happened in your life of significance. Yeah. But to recap, we had you on, and honestly, people just loved the story that you went on a date with a clairvoyant, and you actually already had a clairvoyant who lives

in Scotland, was that right? Lorna. Lorna. Lorna the clairvoyant. And that she drew your spirit guide. She did. Not very well but she drew him. Yes. Terrible warrior Cherokee. That's right. And that you jump on

Zooms with this clairvoyant in Scotland often and she tells you what's up. Yeah. And that you jump on Zooms with this clairvoyant in Scotland often and she tells you what's up. Yeah. How often do you Zoom? I think last time I said it was biannually. Yes, that's right. Every six months. Every six months. Yeah. Now, um...

Wait, what happened to the New Zealand clairvoyant? Was there another date? There was meant to be a follow-up. We were meant to go out to Avondale to the Buddhist temple and she was going to show me how to meditate. Right. In Avondale.

Is that in her wheelhouse? Yeah, she does that. Okay, interesting. Right. So if anyone's interested in learning how to meditate, I would highly recommend. Avondale. If you're going to go anywhere, it's got to be a Buddhist temple. The Buddhists

are the original meditators. It's legit. Wow, I didn't know there was a Buddhist temple in Avondale. Maybe there isn't. The site where one was once proposed. Very harmonious intersection of energy lines. How come the plans fell through to get to

Avondale? I've just been too busy. Too busy. Yeah. That's probably a sign that you need to meditate more than anything. Absolutely. We're awake, I'm cool. Yeah, that's a beautiful moment of realisation there, actually.

Yeah. So you sort of announced something on your social media over the weekend. Let us know what happened. Well, I saw a comment on TikTok. Someone had left. Have we got a bit of Andrea Bocelli or someone? Oh, gee, wow. Yeah, maybe Bourne might have to dial that up.

I don't have any Andrea Bocelli. Time to say goodbye? Oh, yeah. Or just to set the mood. Yeah, okay. Yeah, beautiful. We'll get a bit of that. So I saw a TikTok video. Oh, beautiful.

It's a bit happy. Time to say goodbye. We played this at my nana's funeral. Was it a happy day? It was a very sad day. Yeah. Okay, so it's sad music. His nana's dead.

You're happy with yourself? Yeah, well, thanks for bringing that into the room. And you killed her. With your liberal thoughts. Yeah, you did. Please, Bryn, paint the picture. So I saw a TikTok comment. Someone had said that my dear Lorna, the Scottish psychic,

had transitioned from her physical manifestation to a more spiritual form. I guess what I'm trying to say is she's dead. So, hang on. She, how did you you didn't know this because it had been a while you hadn't had

it wasn't time for your biannual well I had been emailing her Yahoo inbox I knew she was Yahoo and you know sometimes they get full and they don't accept incoming emails

and I thought that maybe that's what had happened to hers did you try to mentally send her a message? Yeah, but nothing. I went on her website. Check in with the Cherokee? Well, I tried everything.

I got the crystals out in the sun and nothing worked. Moon, moon! The moon. You melted the crystals. You're an idiot. You overcharged the crystals. Your amethyst's flat. That's what's happened.

Ah, Bryn. Yeah. So she's flat. That's what's happened. Ah, Bryn. Yeah. So she's died. She's dead. And I've gone on to chat GPT just to verify her death. What do you mean? How would artificial intelligence know that she's dead? Because there was no record of her death on the internet.

And I thought maybe chat GPT has some information. Right. That does know everything. And did it? It didn't even know who Lorna was. No. Right. Okay. It was unsuccessful. That would have been my guess. Maybe I'm a clairvoyant. I saw that coming.

How did this person on the TikTok comments know? Well, they left that comment two months ago and I only saw it yesterday. So she's been gone a while. It's not a recent development. Mr Funeral. Didn't even get to remember her at a fight meditation. It's my own trailer, Baccelli.

She's gone. She's, yeah. Well, spiritually, she's still here. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to employ another psychic to see if I can communicate with Lorna. Like a chain. Like a chain. Well, what about the psychic you went on a date with?

Well, she was a fraud. We knew it. Yeah, she made everything up. We knew it. Yeah, she made everything up. She admitted it, remember? At the end of their date, she said she just makes it all up. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that detail. And that's when she perhaps turned to Buddhism to make me feel so bad

about the lies. She wanted the ultimate forgiveness. We still need to check if Jamie Oliver did get his palm read by her because I'm... It fell off. But it could be an endless thing Bryn, like you're going to get a clairvoyant to talk to your dead

clairvoyant. Just to see what happened. I know but then what if that clairvoyant dies are you going to have to keep the chain growing and growing? It feels financially like not a great... And then what if Bryn dies? Lord forbid, God forbid, but then we're going to have to get. And then what if Bryn dies? Lord forbid. God forbid. But then we're going to have to get a psychic to talk to Bryn,

who will then talk to the psychic, talk to the psychic, talk to the psychic, see how Lorna and the... Financially, I don't want to take on this cost. It's a lot. It's a lot of effort as well. I like you. The psychics are quite busy. I've been trying to get this Denise woman out.

She's also in West Auckland. A lot of psychics out in West Auckland. A lot of psychos as well. Right. So what has Denise booked up? Months. Months and months. I don't know who you're talking about.

Really? I think I know who you're talking about. Denise. I thought seeing a medical specialist was hard. Try getting a booking with a psychic. Well, if we have any psychics, please text us. Does my Southern Cross Health Insurance cover a psychic? I don't think so.

I don't believe so. I don't think so, Vaughn. It's a shame. I think you've got to be with a different insurance provider. I don't know who. Well, Bryn, we're so sorry for your loss. Thank you. It's devastating.

One of these tough times. Yeah. Cost of living crisis. Yeah. It's the cherry on top, isn't it? It really is. It's the straw that broke the camel's back. I knew this would happen when we had a change of government. It feels like David Seymour is to blame.

He's called it. He has called it. The hell of it. If we have any clairvoyance listening... Or someone can recommend someone for Britain. Yeah, text 9696 and we'll pass it on to the man himself. But also, if someone can actually verify if Lorna is dead or not. Is a person.

Oh, is dead. Because I don't know for certain. That could have just been someone commenting just to play tricks with me. This could be a true crime podcast. We've been thinking about doing some true crime podcasts. Where is Lorna? Well, the email address doesn't work. It sounds like it's been she's dead and the family's had to shut it down.

And the website's dead. No, wait, she's old. They forget their passwords all the time. All the time, or they get themselves locked out because they answer their own questions wrong. But I was surprised about the website because the domain names come up. So maybe we could buy the domain name.

I'm just having a look on her Instagram. Oh, no, she's dead. She's definitely gone. Is this her? Or she could have retired. No, no, no. Well, I've found another Scottish psychic medium called Lorna who lives in Scotland. I mean, it's almost like

for like. Keep it Scottish. And also send her contact to me. Scottish people sound like great, don't they? Great. Great accents. Yeah. Oi, Ray, you're gonna have a bloody lovely day today, Bryn. I could just, I'll just do it for you. Oi, a great future day, Bryn. I could just, I'll just do it for you. Charge of a fortune.

Oh, you're a bright future there, Bryn Redkin. I like you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- It sounded like I was being sarcastic. And sincere. Yeah, it did. I meant it. No, Vaughan, I'm excited. Tell me about the trains and stuff. Here it comes then. You've won me back over. We go to the Philippines today.

Okay. Because we were actually talking yesterday. You know, you did your five-year plan. Yes. And did that include some travel? Yes. Yeah, so we didn't have that much of a serious but then we talked about where we'd like to go next.

Sade and I. I want to go to the Philippines. I want to go to the Philippines. Beautiful. I'd love to go to the Philippines. I've not been. I've had a few friends go lately and the stories look insane. It's beautiful. The pictures and stuff look amazing. So I want to go to the Philippines and then this popped up

and I was like, okay, this is the inn. Because we go to the Philippines for today's fact of the day as well. Okay. This saves me so much money on air fees because technically I'm going to be like, where have we been? Yeah. Oh, it's just the Philippines. Just to hear a story about their public transport. Have you ever heard of the jeepney?

The jeepney? Like the Jimny. The jeepney. Kind of, but this well predates the Suzuki Jimny. Okay. And in World War II, the Americans had quite a few bases around the Philippines. And, of course, the American World War II vehicle of choice was the Willys Jeep. Yeah.

I'd love one. You know I'd love one. I know you do. I know you'd love one. You know I'd love one. Get a uniform, fang around the sand, pretending I'm in North Africa without any of the associated danger. Yeah. Of being in North Africa in World War II.

Yeah. Because they're such a cool car. Well, after the war, a lot of the stuff was too expensive to ship home, so it just got left behind. Ask any island in the Pacific that had docks and stuff built. In Auckland, our very own Shed 10 was built by the Americans, wasn't it? For World War II. Thank you.

I didn't know that. Yeah, they did. They built that. Thank you. Say thanks. Do they get a cut of the venue hire now? Oh, they do, yes, the American Army. That's how they were affording all the bombs and such.

Okay. And, of course, American soldiers also impregnated a lot of Wellington women, but we'll talk about that later. Now, in the Philippines. Yeah, they're hot, though, eh? Thank you. It was really hot. Yeah. They had a sexy uniform in World War II. Yeah. Ask the ladies of Wellington. Some of the Philippines. Yeah, they're hot though, eh? Thank you. It was really hot. Yeah.

They had a sexy uniform in World War II. Yeah. Ask the ladies of Wellington. Some of the best. Yeah. If grandma goes, every time, I'd probably be great grandma by now, every time the American National Anthem plays. Yeah, that's why.

There's a 95% chance she's left with the serviceman. She's getting a bit of a flutter. She was serviced by a serviceman. Anyway, we digress. We do. Hot soldiers. Americans just left behind the Jeeps because the cost of getting them home wasn't worth it.

They just left them behind. Now, the Filipino people were like, we're not going to let these get a waste. Well, would you? Eat every part of the chicken, as the old saying goes. Yeah. And so they turned them into public transport. But the problem is they're only a two-seater.

Yeah. So they would get two of them and cut them in half, join them together, and then weld in some more bits and pieces. And ladies and gentlemen, they were left with what has become, and I'm sorry, I'm still listening to Andre Baccelli from before we run out of time. An iconic mode of public transport in the Philippines called a jeepney.

A jeep from Jeep and I believe Chitney was a horse-drawn carriage that was a public transport. Yeah, a stretched out jeep. It looks a bit like the South American buses. It looks a bit like a Disney park, you know, when you go to a comical, small

little bus. So yeah, they're stretched out. They predate, also they predate, you know when you go to like a comical small little bus. So yeah they're stretched out. They predate also they predate you know if you go to a lot of other Southeast Asian countries I can speak to Thailand and Cambodia

there's the little trucks the K class trucks with just the row of seats in the back and you just jump on and away you go. But they're hired and you pay the driver.

This is actual public transport but the drivers take such pride in them that they decorate them and paint them. Oh, my God. I love that. I absolutely love them. I simply must now go to the Philippines. And have one.

And buy one and bring back the jeepney. Well, you love a stretched hummusine. I don't. I just love a hummusine. I went in a hummusine once. And you loved it. You got the T-shirt. I'm a hummusine girl, it says.

Yeah, yeah. Hummus and hummusines. That's what his T-shirt says. That got the t-shirt. I'm a Hummerzine girl, it says. Yeah, yeah. Hummers and Hummerzines. That's what his t-shirt says. That's exactly what it says. So this will be right up your alley too, I think. And then I'll take you through right in my jeepney when I bring it back. So today's fact of the day and the first of public transport week is in the Philippines, old World War II jeeps

that were left behind by American soldiers have been turned into public transport called Jeepneys. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, over the weekend, went to Melbourne. We took the big four-day Anzac weekend. We did. Big fatty weekend.

Oh, it was four. Went with some friends. And Morgan, our friend, friend of the show, Morgan. Morgan Wallen, who just played that song. No, Penn. Morgan Penn, host of Sex Not Life, the podcast, and dear friend for many, many, many, many years. She said, I'll look after Mars. Because a lot of people don't know this,

but you guys have been friends for a long time. But ever. Yeah, we worked at the same radio station years and years and years ago. You showed me a photo. Oh, my God, I know. Oh, my God. Yeah. Of these two, how many years ago

would that have been? A long time ago. Three. Yeah. 23. Significant. That's how long we've known each other. So she's like, I'll stay. And I was like, that's great because then someone can look after Mars. People like house-sitting Fletcher's house. It's central. Yes. Well, I

stayed on Thursday. There's always kombucha in the fridge. Yeah. And a lot of sauerkraut. I should actually come in the house at your house for a week and teach that cat a few manners. I did. You would hate it. I would. I'd feel like I was in a cage.

Yeah. Every time I come to your house, I always linger by the window. I'm like, like a cat. I'm like, what's out there? What's out there? I love it because you don't have to do the lawns. It's so good. It's so great.

Anyway, so I landed yesterday to a voice memo from Morgan. And this is what I wanted to talk about this morning because, you know, we've all house sat. Yes. I don't think I've ever house sat and something's gone wrong. I haven't broken anything. But things always change a little bit You'll knock something Or ding something

Or like do a little something I don't mind that Like there's you know That's wear and tear baby All care no responsibility Like you know Yeah totally But that's what I wanted to ask

Don't burn my house down But wear and tear is acceptable Don't burn the house down But that's what I wanted to ask this morning Like when did you house sit And ruin something Or wreck something Or when did something Screw it and ruin something or wreck something? Or when did something screw up or go down?

Yeah, she's not doing anything irreparable. No! She's in quite a voice note. She did. So this is the voice note I got from Morgan when I landed at the airport yesterday. Hello, my darling friend. Now, a couple of updates at home.

One, I put soda water in the soda machine to fizz and couldn't get it back out, so that's stuck in there, so I don't get it right. Pause. Pause, pause, pause, pause. Yes. She put already bubbly water into... Yeah, I put soda water in the soda stream.

Was she doing that? She just meant she put the bottle in. She wanted to re-bubble it. Yeah. She wanted to re-bubble it, because that will cause A pressure issue Well he keeps his

Soda stream bottles All filled up with Nice chilled water Oh I tried to have some Because it was really Hung over when I stayed On the first date

It was so thick Even the coldness Excuse me She's not the only one Because it's this New soda stream Where you put the bottle in And you twist it to the side

And then you Thumb it back around It needs quite a bit Of pressure Yeah Even Dr. Shorty I said to her Even Dr. Shorty Soda stream where you put the bottle in and you twist it to the side and then you thumb it back around. It needs quite a bit of pressure. Yeah. Even Dr. Shorty, I said to her, even Dr. Shorty didn't know how to. It's like opening a jar. People, they feel like they don't want to break it.

But you just yank it across in an open. You've got to be forceful. You've got to be forceful. So that's rammed in there. If you're just joining us, in the last 10 seconds, we're talking about getting the bottle out of the soda stream. Yes. Okay. So we'll carry on the message

because I knew you had a little coffee plungery thing but I think with your new stovetop it's too small because it's the convention

convection it's a convention oh my god I don't know how to say it and so I was like oh what am I going to do here so I put it into a pot the pot went a funny colour

on the bottom oh no I know exactly what she's done. I feel really, really bad. I also put that pot on your wooden chopping board and it made it like burn my... Oh, she's burned a ring! Absolute like chaos in your kitchen.

I'm so sorry. I'll get you a new chopping block as well, okay? Wait, so she's ruined the pot. Oh, it's not convection. Induction, don't you have I'll get you a new chopping block as well, okay? Wait, so... So... She's ruined a pot. Oh, it's not convection. It's induction, don't you have induction now? That's what an induction is.

So there's this coffee thing, and it's from my old stove, just a normal stove, where it heats up the water and then it goes through the coffee. Like, I don't know the name of it. It's a posh Italian situation. I'm always like, get a coffee machine, come on. Yeah. It must be nice.

And then, so it doesn't work because it's not induction. Yes, right. So she tried, so she was like, I'll use a pot instead. Which I get the logic. That's probably something I would do. To boil water. No, to put the pot in. She put the coffee thing in the pot. She put the whole

thing inside a pot. The pot is black. I always have the understanding she used the pot to boil water to make a bone. There's a kettle right beside there. She's trying to get the induction through the pot into the other thing. And so it burnt the pot black. And people are taking sex with myself. What is in that head?

Rocks. And then it burnt the chopping board, which I think is funny. I burnt a pot that will never be the same again. Yeah, it's gone. I burnt a pot just by having it on the stove and cooking nothing in it. I was like, don't worry about it. And then I was like, every time I see the burn mark on my chopping board, it will just make me laugh. You've got a nice chopping board as well.

It's a shame. It's a shame. These things happen. These things happen. But I wanted to know on the back of this, have you ever been looking after someone's house, like house sitting? Broken something. Yeah. And broken something? Broken something. Yeah. And broken something,

damaged something. Maybe it was a complete accident. These things happen. That's what insurance is for. Oh yeah, I know. Okay, so 0800-DARLZNM is our number.

You can give us a text, 9696. Should we just clarify here and out? No, Fletcher's not cowboy from the podcast. Oh my God, That's not why she's staying at the house. No.

It's not cowboy. Although I do know who, what? I know now too. I know I feel a weight of responsibility not to say. Do you not know? Oh, Han. I'm not on the internet. Don't tell Vaughn. I won't. He'll be upset. I'm a great secret keeper. No, you're not.

I've learned this about him. Side thought. Chat for another day. Not a good secret keeper? Vaughn's keeping secrets now. Is he? I can't afford a secret that you don't know. And I didn't even tell you I had a secret. That's how good I am at secrets. Why don't I get to know the secret? I don't know. Oh my god.

And I didn't even say I know a secret. But when I said to him, can you keep a secret? You have to keep this a secret. It's really important to keep it a secret. He said, I'm getting really good at keeping secrets. I actually have a secret from Fletch. I'm sorry, I've dropped you in. I've got a secret from everybody. I've got secrets. Unbelievable. Wild secrets. Sponsor of sex.life.

And not only am I keeping secrets now, I'm also giving flawless client mentions. Okay, 0800-DARZANEM is the number you can text through 9696. When did you ruin something or break something while house sitting? How bad was it? All of the stories so far revolve around pets. 10696, when did you ruin something or break something while house sitting? Oh my God, the dog. How bad was it?

All of the stories so far revolve around pets. We want to know this morning when you've messed up house sitting or what's happened. What's gone wrong? Yeah, this is making me feel sick and like anxious. I hate looking after people's stuff. The thing is, if someone house sits for you, you've got to understand things can go wrong. Like, it's just life, isn't it? I know.

It's like when you go to an Airbnb and they're like, don't sit on the couches, we don't want them to dent. And you're like, well, don't. Don't Airbnb your house. I'd just fluff the cushions as I left. You wouldn't, you'd have to go to fluff. Some messages in. Start with a couple of animal ones.

My house sitter friends $2 million mansion with her two dogs. This is the thing. A lot of people seem to be like, come and look after the house, but it's more about the animals. Yeah. She said I could take my dogs over to stay too. As soon as we walked in,

the dogs peed on the carpet and then they had a massive brawl. Not a great start to it. Oh my gosh. I don't know if I'd want to house-sit like a multi-million dollar mansion. Neither. Too much responsibility.

I want to, I want to, I want to, that's. Also, how much of a mansion does two million dollars get you these days? We're talking a townhouse,

right? Yeah. When you say mansion. Townhouse with a small backyard. Tiny, tiny fence, astroturf backyard. Yes.

How sad for a work colleague that rat ate a power cord for the water pump. Now, no word, no word if that rat was a pet rat or a wild rat.

Or just a little ratty dog. And both dogs got into a box of rat bait. Okay, so now it makes it feel like this is a pest rat. Right. Emergency trips to the vets at 7pm. Both dogs are fine, but I'll never be doing it again. No. That's the thing.

If the pet gets sick on your dime and it's got nothing to do with you, what if it just died? Oh, yeah. and you're just like I didn't kill it did I we looked after a mate's dog at their house

my partner went for a run with the baby in the pram we ran over the corgi's tail and de-gloved it now that's where the skin comes off

oh oh bleh had to chop a bit of the dog's tail off I'll say it that'll teach you about having a corgi

imagine coming home and your dog's like tails down I'll say it. That'll teach you about having a corgi. Imagine coming home and your dog's like tails down a few inches. Something's different. Something's different about the dog. No, definitely not. No.

He's got a shorter tail. No, he's not. Because corgis always have the little nub day. But then that was a no-no. You can't do that anymore. Dead mom sounds like a perfect

excuse. Keep your texts coming in. Talking about when your house settings gone wrong. Someone said my parents house

sat for me over the weekend. Got home to them watching television. They left and said we can't find the remote.

So the TV had just literally been on all weekend. 24 hours later full house search. We still can't find the remote. What? Oh, my God.

So we don't know what's going on, but I guess the TV... But then you would turn the TV off at the wall, right? Yeah. But then how are you going to turn it... Are they going to need to buy a universal remote? Oh, yeah, you're going to need a universal remote. Yeah, you'd be like... Remote.

Horrible. We discovered our friend's cat was diabetic after we agreed to house sit. Good to know. Yeah. Very expensive vet visits and we had to learn how to inject a cat with insulin. What?

They went tall? Oh wait, this makes it sound like the cat developed severe diabetic symptoms during their house sitting period. Right. I thought the friends had just said, oh, and by the way,

on the way out the door, our cat's diabetic, you need to inject it daily with insulin. Yeah. Watch it if it gets sluggish. Wow. Okay. Also, you it gets sluggish. Wow. Okay. Well, so you'd be gutted, eh?

Well, so you'd be bringing back the, you'd be getting the bill reimbursed, right? Oh, absolutely. Because that wouldn't be cheap. Absolutely. Well, 100%. What do you say you'd be gutted, eh? We just buy cats because they're easy. Do you know what I mean?

Can a cat have a glucose monitor? Because those are pretty small nowadays. No, but those are because you're monitoring. Oh, I don't know. It doesn't have a phone to work the app. I could have the phone. Could. And the cat would walk in.

Yeah. And then what, dial down its cat biscuits? Or dial them up? Well, depending on blood sugar high, blood sugar low. Interesting. Complicated. I, and I'll tell you what,

this has happened to more than a few people over the message. And us house sitting once came back around lunchtime and there was water streaming in through the ceiling

into the lounge and the kitchen. See, that's awful. Turned out the mains water pipe broke and the house was very, very flooded. Somebody else said

that it started as a drip then it went to a trickle and when it started like a hole developed and it was streaming through was when they decided to reach out for help. Oh my gosh.

I think the middle of the ceiling has got a bulge in it. Yeah. A noticeable bulge. You're already well down the track of a big mess to clean up so probably reach out then and there.

Oh, another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left. No, sorry. That's where you come in with the line, boy.

Boy, man, if you enjoyed that. Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.