ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 29th April 2026

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

On Today's Big Pod, The worlds longest tiramasu Top 6 - Slurs for pre budget day drinks Hayley's car stinks How to decide if you should stay up late Sabrina and Madonna SLP - Do you run hot or cold? Paul William's Interview How fast was the engagement? Trick on Fletch Ashley Anderson Interview Fact of the day What was the wildest thing you have done for beauty? The secret to calming down and angry person When were you a little shit? Canadian has been called out for bad texting See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

from the ZM Podcast Network. This is Fleshwood and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands of the lowest prices. Good morning. Oh, it's Wednesday already. Love that. We should do this every week.

Short weeks. I think Monday's off. Love that. Welcome to the show. Deceded. Fleechmore and Haley. More free fuel this morning at 8 o'clock. Gas me up.

How good. The top six. Born, what are you doing today for the top six? Well, big news yesterday that a homophobic sleur was used at a pre-budget drinks at the finance minister's office. A classic F. From one journalist to another. There's a bit of journalist bitching going on in this country at the moment. Barry Soper.

Oh, Granddad, Baz. He's got a book out. He's got a book out, and he calls out Duncan Garner and Guy Nesson for big bullies when they were overseas with John Key. Right. Snowflip. Good stuff, but, you know, a homophobic slur, nothing to be scoffed at. I've got the top six slurs you can use for a pre-budget day drinks. The finance minister's office.

This story's taken a while to get out, isn't it? It has actually. Yeah. This happened like last budget. What's that, May, eh? Yeah. So coming up a year. Goodness.

The slur was a drop. Goodness, no. We wouldn't stand for it. We would never bully in this workplace, let alone sling slurs. each other. A bully born, that's okay. Yeah, but he loves it. Yeah.

He thrives on it. I do, man. The man loves to be negged. Yeah, I love it. Next on the show. There is the world's, the world's longest something has been made.

Oh, okay. And I tell you what, the three of us could absolutely demolish this. The Fletchborn and Haley, Big Pod. I would say Tiramisu is up there with top pods for me. Sticky date.

Top Pids. Sir and a sous, cheesecake. Where was I recently in that? It was like a food hall. I was in Sydney and they just had a big tray of it and you'd just pay for it and they'd just scoop it out. I know the food hall. I know the food hall and I know the tray.

I've had it before. Yes. And it's so good. Yeah. The trick is you've got to leave it. Don't make it and then serve it that night. You've got to let the lady fingers soak. That's a motto I live by.

You've got to let the lady fingers soak the lady fingers. Soak the lady fingers. Okay. Okay, so soak the late... How long do you soak the lady thing is? At least overnight. Okay. Do you know who makes the best Turamisu in...

Italians? No? Patsy Ann Sprow. Does she? Oh, you won't believe it. Well, that she lives in Italy for parts of the idea. Has she been taught a recipe? No, she's just...

No, I don't think she got taught it in Italy. Maybe she did. She has been to a few cooking schools. Anyway, we're talking about Turamisu, and now I have to have it. My day shan't finish without having some. Okay. We're talking about it because there has been a Guinness World Record

that has just been one. shared by 100 Italian chefs for the world's longest tiramisu. Wait, did they soak the lady fingers? Very soaked. Longest doesn't tell me biggest, though. That just means longest. I'll show you a photo of it.

Square meterage. You can make a centimetre wide tiramisu. No, no, there's rules. There's wrong. Okay, right. So here it is here, but it's snaked, right? So you've got to think about it. It's like that.

The rules were it had to be eight centimeters, Where are your rules? Eight centimetres, tall, I think. Okay. And a certain amount wide. So they couldn't just make a little skinny log with one lady finger.

Okay. So the length of it is, it used, oh so eight centimetres high and 15 wide was the way to get the... That photo you showed us was in a hall and they just snaked it right. Okay. So when laid flat at 15 centimetres wide

and eight centimeters tall, the length of it to win world's longest, it's almost half a kilometre. 440.6 metres. So if you're in your car right now and you press the odometer button, drive, and just go reset, and just go reset, when it gets to five, half a kilometer, that's how long this terra masseur is. So for reference, roughly four football fields or four times the height of the Eiffel Tower laid flat. Four times the height of the Eiffel Tower.

Yeah, laid flat. Wait, is the Eiffel Tower? No, the Eiffel Tower is taller than 500 metres. How tall is the Eiffel Tower? I thought it was like 300 and something. No, I mean, I've never been there. Four times the height of the Eiffel Tower. It's not that tall.

It's 300 metres the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, so it's not four times that would be 12. Claude, I'm withdrawing my subscription from Claude. Oh, wow, Claude. Claude. Claude, Bullet pointed that. Well, four football fields. That feels sort of right, right?

Yeah, that's better. About 100? Yes. So taller than the Sky Tower? Yeah. That's insane. It's so long, eh? Yeah.

So a hundred chefs did it. Yeah. It took them 50,000 lady fingers. Okay. Soaking lady fingers. Wait, what is in the terrier? The lady fingers are biscuits, right? That's the biscuit, the little soft biscuit that you soak and it becomes the sponge.

But what is the biscuit? A lady finger. But what is it like shortbread? It's just a vanilla shortbread. Yeah, but it's thinner than a standard shortbread. Yeah, it's not as buttery. And made in a mold, right? Yeah, yeah.

And they're not as buttery. flakier. So when you soak them, the soaked lady fingers, 50,000... What do you soak them in? Coffee. Yum. No one is it so yum. And masala. Massala. You want to put booze in it and Patsy puts booze in hers. No, no, Marsala, like the...

Like the, it's a liqueur. Patsy's is boozy. Okay. Oh, surprise, surprise. 3,000 eggs, a lot of mascaponi and coffee. Took them a very long time. Smashed the previous record by a lot. Previous record was 273 meters. This is 440 meters. I blow it out of them.

and it's being displayed at the Chelsea Town Hall in London right now and they laid it all out snaked it all out and they put Grazie Your Majesty like thank you your majesty as a tribute to King Charles and they're going to sell it off

Why'd they do it to King Charles? Because it's being Who it's been displayed in London I would have just said come and get some They can't sell it off It's a room tent Portions are being sold off of proceeds going to charity Oh that's nice

That's nice Oh that sounds yum Now I'm a manky tiramist It's not a bit in the fridge Now I want some teramisu. I will not rest. It looks good. It actually looks like they've done it quality.

You know, it's not just a cheap. They've got all the layers. Yeah. And everything with the fingers, the soaked fingers. The ZRAM Podcast Network. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Well, it's the only homophobic slur in the top ten. This is the broadcasting standards authority.

Top 10. The worst words that can be said. Six of the top ten relate to race. This is on a racial slur. Yeah. This was a homophobic slur. Now, apparently this was said. I didn't know this.

It's a tradition the night before the budget, which is where the government announces how it will be spending the money. There's a get-together with the political journalists, and they go to the finance minister's office. Have a couple of drinks. Right. Now, it's been alleged that TVNZ political reporter, Mikey Sherman, used a homophobic slur.

against another reporter Lloyd Burr. Yikes. Goodness me. Quite serious. Quite serious. I swear we heard about this story like last year. Yeah, we did. That's wild. It wasn't reported on. It wasn't reported. Yeah. And now it's out there. It's out there. I don't know.

I thought the general consensus is we weren't doing that one anymore. Nah. You know what I mean? The long version or the short version. Well, I thought, you know, you want to be able to sling a few slurts. Okay. It is fun. Do you think that? Yeah, I think so. So I've got the top six slurs you can use.

Oh, okay. At a pre-budget drink. Relatively safe slurs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Number six on the list is the N-word, Ninkin-Poot. Number six on the list is the N-word, Ninkin-Poot. Oh, could I say, not what I do you.

Hardrop there. N-Row-Fund. Fun word. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Ninkin-Poop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that sort of thing. You know, you can do it aggressively. What are the origins?

Ninkin-poop. God, they better not be racist. Also, funny if it... Yeah, for God's sake, we would. have given this a red-hot Google. Have you checked any of these words? You didn't run this through chat GPT for a quick, hey, any of these have racist oranges?

Well, I don't know if we should be running things through chat GPT because I just told you that. The Eiffel Tower is apparently only 100 metres tall. It meant a fool or a simpleton. Perfect. Links to the Latin legal phrase non-compos mentis, meaning not of sound mind. Lincoln Poop.

Yeah, so that's Ninkin poop. I didn't do the rest of these, though. He's scared now. He's scared now. Number five on the list of the top six slurs you can sling. Add a pre-budget. Just checking. Number five.

Plonker. Oh, you bloody plonker. Yeah. That's fine. I love plonker. Plonker. Fool or an idiot really took off and only fools and horses in the 1980s. Likely to plonk, meaning to put something down clumsily, like, bongk.

Like you put something like, bong. Love that. Yeah. Number four on the list of the, uh, top six slurs you can use it a pre-budget drinks, it's another N-word. It's numpty. Oh, you're numpy. You're numpty. That's good.

Yeah, I'm not going to look up the origins of nilmpt. I don't think it's... It doesn't feel bad. This next one's going to need a red-hot origin check, though. Number... It just pays, doesn't it? It does. It does. It pays to be... It's too late, though. Number three on the list of the top six are... Top six slurs you can sling. Yep. Pre-budget meeting at the

finance minister's office over a couple of drinks. a snolligoster. A snorley gaster. I don't think I've ever slung that one. Is that a real word? It's a shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician who acts purely out of self-interest with no moral compass whatsoever.

David Seymour. Shane Jones is a snolligoster. Snolligoster. He's a snoligoster. It's a US. It's a genuinely American insult. Right. A snorigaster was a mythical beast from German-American folklore,

a fearsome creature that preyed on the weak and unsuspecting. So the political metaphor sort of wrote itself there. Okay. Number two on the list of the top six slurs you can rip out at a pre-budget drinks at the finance minister's office. It's another Ninnie Hama. Ninnihammer. That's a real insult. That's a real, that's a real old school.

Ninnie Hammer. I've heard you're Ninni. Yeah, I've heard of Shanksbury. Are you Ninni? Come on. It might be shortened from it. A fool assembled in a blockhead. Someone of spectacular stupidity.

Very much the same family as Ninh can poop with more. Picasso energy. Nimi Hammer. Shakespearean area, yep, dates back to the Shakespearean era. I think we should bring back Shakespearean insults.

Yeah, I think so. He had some crackers, eh? He made the word cuckold. Did he? Yeah, he made a lot of slurs, actually. Did he invent the chair as well? In the corner of the bedroom? Yeah, the comfortable one.

Yeah. Have you watched that movie yet? Hamnet? That's about Shakespeare. You're not going to watch Hamlet. It's got that little. It's got that hot a lot of a lot. It's got that hot little Irish fellow in it.

Paul Meskele. Hot little Irish. He's not little. He's not little. Yes, he is. Is he? He's shorter, isn't he? No. He's not that short. No, he's short. I thought Paul Mascar was 1 metre 8. Oh. 511?

Nah. I reckon he's pushed that up for his eye and be there for a fault. You reckon he's 511? I reckon, no, no, no, no, he's not. I reckon he's 5.9. Do you know, he's a great, this is a great insult from Shakespeare that he came up with. I scorn you, you scurvy, compared. That's quite fun. I scorn you, you scurvy companion. Yeah.

So you're a companion to scurvy. He came up with fat guts, your fat guts. Did he? Yeah. Shakespeare invented fat guts. It's from Henry the 4th. I don't think he could say fat guts as a, you couldn't body shave somebody. Henry IV, your fat guts?

That's very off brand for him. What, your fat guts? Fat guts. Yeah, it's very kind of, you know as simple. It's not as classy. Yeah, it's not classy like Shakespeare, right? Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six are slurs. You can sling at the Finance Minister's Office pre-Budget

drinks. A cockillorum. Cocholorum. A self-important little man, someone with the absurdly inflated sense of self and their own importance and ability strutting around as the world revolves around the... Winston. That's perfect. Also David Seymour. Oh yeah. And also, Shane Jones. Yeah, and Sean Jones. A lot of these fit all of them. So, yeah, of course, strutting around like a rooster. Yeah, wow.

What is it again? Cocholorum. Cocholorum. Oh, sit down, you cockolorum. Yeah, that's all of them. Yeah, that'll be nice in the house. some of these around in the house. Yeah, of course, if you're throwing around in the house,

you can throw it around to some pre-budget drinks. That's today's top six. Play Z-N's Fletchhorn and Haley. Guys, I am so lucky to live with my parents. I love it so much. It's genuinely the loveliest thing. I've been away for a month and I came home. They like, I wouldn't say,

they didn't clean my car. They groomed my car. Well, that's nice. Oh, when you came home, were like, ugh. Do you know, I think they're a bit bummed? I genuinely think they're a little bit bummed. Yeah, because when you came home.

Big, a whole house to them. They just have the house to themselves. They get in the spa naked. They sleep naked, walk around naked. My parents are very naked. I think that might need an extra cup of chlorine. Do you know, my dad, who, you know, has some memory issues. Yeah.

They had some friends over for the weekend. And they were like, you know, they had a bloody couple of drinks. Yeah. My wife would be like, why are you sharing this? They had a couple of bloody drinks in them. Yeah. And I thought, you know, bloody hell, you know, been to the pub. let's get in the spa.

Oh, yeah, man. They took off the lid of the spa, and apparently my dad's mate, Max, got in the spa. And then bloody Craigie Bob comes out, will he out? Starkers. Just because he's just bloody used to him. That's how we get in the spa. And then did he realise that the friends were over?

No, I think he's a very confident, man. He's a body confident man. And he does. And he's known these people since he was four years old. So didn't they get? Oh, right. Had a naked and a little nudie. Goodness.

Spa. Okay, wow. Anyway, so I came home And yeah, I think they're happy I'm home I don't know, who knows. And I came home and they groomed my car And it was messy man Because I've been to the beach, it was sand everywhere

I hadn't cleaned it for a while. So good. And so yesterday I was like, I'm going to try to keep this really neat and good And I was preloading my car for the day Because I've got a lot, I've got an amp in there And I'm working on my show and whatnot.

And I open up the boot To put in my amp And I, there's a skink in the boot A little skink. A lizard. Yeah? And they're all around my property. Rolly loves them.

He's like, how did you bloody get in there, you skink? So he froze when he saw me. And I was like, well, get him out. And then he went like this and he burrowed away. Yeah. Burrowed into the Mazda. I don't know. So he's gone.

There's a skink in the maz. Yeah, there's a skink in the maz. That's a song. Yeah, there's a skink in the maize. There's nothing you can do. Skink in the maz. Anyway, so there's a skink in the maz. man's. I put my

amp in there and I was like well there's nothing I can do about the skink and maz. Is this like when you know they're on a plane and a mouse or rat kind of and they're worried it's going to eat the wires and so they have to skinks. Skinks can't eat wires. No they're pathetic. They're like harmless. Yeah yeah yeah. What do they

eat? Little bugs. I don't know. I guess. I don't know. They just get eaten at my house. There's a skink in the mails. There's a skink in the mails. There's a skink in the maz. And then I go inside and I grab my gym bag because I was like, I'm ready to go to the gym, and I bring it out, and I opened the bag to make sure that my good

shoes are in there, because I've stuffed up my shoes yesterday, shoe choice was poor. There's a skink in the bag. Skink in the bag? Skim in the bag, skink in the maz. There's a skink in the bag. There's a skink in the bag. There's a skink in the gym bag. And I was like, I don't know what to do with these skinks and how they're getting all up in my life. Might get hungry in the car in the bag

because they eat beetles, crickets, spiders, caterpillars, cockroaches in a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, right. So anyway, then I go to the gym. This was yesterday that this was happening. And then I go to the gym. And I bring in my gym bag to get changed.

And I open it up. And the skinks still in there. Oh, God, you didn't give Les Mills a skink infestation. Oh, here's the thing. I didn't get it out of the bag. Right. I got my gym gear out and I put my clothes on top of it. And then when I got home, I went to empty my gym bag.

No skink. So I think I've released a skink. to Les Mills and there's a skink in the maz. I've noticed more skinks around lately more than ever before. Is it because it's getting cold and they're like, boy, outside sucks. They love summer.

They love summer. They're scooting around on rocks and running around. That's what I mean. It's getting cold. I just mean, in general, like, of the last year. Right. There's been some sort of skinks, skink explosion. I'm skink festation.

Yeah. Skink festation. But where's your useless can? They only want their tails. They only get the tails off the skinks. But I don't mind having a skink in the maz. Les Mills, that's their problem now. Do you know what I mean?

Over to you with that one. You'll go next week. The skink will be doing the cycle class. Yeah, he will be. He'll be ripped on protein and stuff. He's like, I don't know why he's just eating beetles. I should have been on their shakes. Yeah, man.

But the one in the car is my concern because I don't want it crawling over the back of my neck while I'm driving. Do you remember? Because they skitter, man. Can you spray, like, bomb your camera? Oh, that doesn't feel nice. That doesn't feel nice. I'm actually, because you know I'm a Mazbasseter.

I'm actually returning that car soon so I think I'll just give it with a skink. Like he's your Mazda, thanks for having me. It's got 25,000 more Ks on the clock and a little prison than their flees. A little prissy. A skink in the maz. The Z&P Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley. Quick search shows that, you know, pre-2010 is a bit of an online pro-life tip. Oh, I need to.

Wait, no, that's not pro. No, I don't pro-life. Wait, no, I'm pro-choice. I said I'm pro-life, don't clip that up. Wait, is this a hack? It's a hack of sorts. It's a hack. But it's an old well-established hack,

but it's just like, I think it's hit the TikTok generation, and they're like, guys, they got some advice. Gaze. Like when they told us to eat yogurt with savory things last way. Just knew you can eat Greek yoga with savory things. It's crazy what? Yep. We love them.

So, it is basically. Basically, you shouldn't, if you wouldn't wake up early to do something, don't stay up late doing it. So if you really, maybe I'll watch one more episode of the TV show. Go to bed now and wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning and do it before work and stay. I'm not doing that. That's absurd. I'd lose sleep. Well, then it's absurd.

Stay up late and lose sleep over it. I did that. It's an age old. That was me yesterday. I started watching Margot's Got Money Problems. You know, the new Al Fanning thing. She's just been nominated for an Emmy. No.

Margo's got money problems. Emmy? Not Emma. Is it a TV show or money? Money troubles. Yeah, it's got Michelle Fiver. Oh, yeah. She's busy.

And Al Fanning. Wait a minute. Is Michelle Fyfer the one in the Tyler Sheridan show too where her husband dies and herself is keeping it so tight? Oh my gosh, she's so beautiful. It has been from Daydott. I hope I age like that. She's that wept.

But I did that last night. I got home late and then I was trying to like do a lot of things and organize a lot of things and get ready for the day and then it's all really late. And then I was like, well I'll watch an episode. What's your problem? Go to bed but I wouldn't have said an alarm to wake up early to do it at 4 a.m. to go, oh, get up

so I can watch an episode. It's a great way of thinking about it, isn't it? I want an hour on reels. Would you wake up early to do an hour on reels before? I want to do it before I go to bed. I mean this is all very well and good in theory. Right? I'm like, yeah, I get it in theory.

Yeah. But in the moment, I'm like, I want it now. And also in the moment, you might be not sleepy. So you're like, well, I guess I can watch an episode. Always sleep in the morning, seldom sleepy at night. That's the problem. Often sleepy during the day. Yeah, but seldom sleepy at night.

Yeah, yeah. When sleep is available, I don't want it. No. Who wants it then? No. It's a boring time. Yeah, it is a boring time. So I actually won't take that hack on board.

And I'll be on real until 10 p.m. Anybody, you just use that as you see fit. I'm not going to force that on anybody. Thank you. Play Z-Ns, Flash, One and Haley. Second weekend of Coachella this happened, didn't it? Sabrina Carpenter had one of the biggest performances ever. And then during Juneau, she says, have ever tried this one?

Lights went black. And then a very familiar sound happened. And everyone knew that Madonna was about to come out on stage and join her, and she did. And it was amazing. Did you see those reports, though? They were like, no one knew who she would. was. No knew who Madonna was.

They were like, people just not dancing and they were just like, who's this? This whole lady. Because they heard like gen Csys. I did see like close-ups of quite a few homosexual men. Yes.

Being like, they knew. Just absolutely losing it. The gays knew. So, dropping tomorrow is their song, Bring Your Love? I didn't know that they were doing a song. No, neither.

They did a little bit of it at Coachella apparently. Right. Have a listen. Here's a little tease of Bring Your Love. Described as 90s house vibes they're saying. Sabrina and Madonna. That's the T's.

It's, it's, it's, um, I think the gay clubs are gonna love it. You know what I mean? It's got big, gay energy, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, yeah. So, this is my OG Madonna co-lab, because they're calling this the pop torch pass moment of our, of our time. Yeah. But when Brittany and Madonna did this, do you remember this?

And you want a chik-a-tah, tic-a-tuk-a-bid-k-a-z-z-o. And they were all wearing suits and they had canes and stuff. Oh, this is a bang. This was on my gym playlist, actually. Okay. This one, Madonna and Brit. Madonna's daughter, Lord's, is three years older than Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah?

Crazy. Oh, this song bangs. It's not that I don't like the Sabrina one. It's just, it hasn't captured me yet. So it's going to be on, it's the lead single on Madonna's new album that drops tomorrow. It's called Confessions, too. It's the second part to Confessions on a Dance Floor, which was 20 years ago. I was going to say that's 20 years ago.

Confessions of a dance floor. That's why she was kind of celebrating at Coachella. Right. Being like 20 years ago, I performed at Coachella. This was my album. 20 years later, here I am with a new album. And a song with not Brittany, unfortunately. She's having a hard time.

But Sabrina. So it's out tomorrow. Tomorrow. What's PT time? Pacific time. Is that us? LA time? It's our LA time.

Thursday, 3pm, LA time. So it'll be out. Middle of the night between Thursday and Friday? Yeah, late, like 10 o'clock or something. Friday, it'll be out. Let's say Friday morn. Friday evening. Friday-ish.

Friday-ish. It's out soon. It's out soon. Within the next 48 hours. Play Z-Ns, Flesh, Forun and Haley. The final poll today. Does your body run hot or cold? You've been running hot lately, Sprow.

I'm over it, ma'am. I'm so over it. I'm so hot. All of Australia. Right. I hate to tell you, but woman from your age kind of... Tread carefully, mate. I'm parents do.

Literally in a day. You tend to just tend to run a little bit hotter. Especially in like flashes. I am getting tested for this because it's beyond. Like, it's so ridiculous. And then it was like, it was... The thing that made me think of this was flying home from Brisbane. Woke up, hot.

Yep. Put my outfit on, had a shower, hot. Then had to drag all my suitcases and everything on my own down. That's hot in the Uber. Too hot! 24! Get a grip. Get to the airport.

Hot. That is a mad temperature that you run your car out, by the way. Crazy, man. They're all doing it. 19, 20 tops. I know. Yeah, get on the plane, hot. They didn't have the aircon on enough.

All the women were getting off being like, hot. It's hot. It's hot. cold. I'm hot. I'm hot now. Yeah, we'll be in a car or the studio and you're like, it's so hot. It's hot. And I'll be like, it's not, it's fine. It's hot, it's hot. Is it hot? I'm hot all the time. And I know it could

be hormone. What are they testing? My hormones, because I am approaching the age of perimenopause. Okay, right. Which is Nando's, right? That's the medium sauce. Peri-peri-peri menopause. Yeah. So it goes, lemon and lime herb. Yeah. Lemon herb pores. Peary-menopause.

Peri-peri-menopause. Peri-peri menopause, hot. Hot Pairi-Panthropes. I never go higher than peri-peri menopause. Like being extra hot or the hot? Yeah. Nando's, no way. I go right on the top.

I'm just tired of being hot. Do you know what the worst part is? I love winter fashion. I've got, my coat collection is second to none and they'll never get to wear it. Do you think even if you were in somewhere that was snowy, like Russia, you'd be like, I'm hot. I don't remember the last time I was cold. Yeah. I genuinely cannot think about it.

Quite enjoy being cold. Same. I'd love to be cold again. Rugged up in the cold. How does your body run? is today still at little pole. Is it hot or is it cold? 52% of people said they run hot.

48% of people said they run cold. Lizards. I'd love to be able to wrap up. Yeah. Crawl up on a hot rock. Help you digest. Like a lizard. Sally said, being a woman in perimenopause is so much fun.

Freezing one minute to holy crap, I can't take off any more clothes in public the next. But what can you do about it? I try to regulate your hormones as best as possible, I guess. Or peel your own skin off. That's my next option. I'd pause on that. Do you reckon? Bores on that.

Give that a big menopause. Kind of keeps everything in. Oh, okay. I don't know. Yeah, you take it off. Everything starts slopping out. Oh, no, I can't have that. Lou said, forcing into early menopause for cancer treatment.

And Christ, alive, it's warm. Do not recommend ice packs our life. That's a lot. Sorry to hear that, Lou, that's a lot. Yeah. Early menopause. Mel said, I'm always a cold little human bean. Bean too, not bean.

Bean. A little bean, the cold little bind. Come here to be a cut or a wicked shear. Charlotte. Face runs hot, body runs cold. Oh. That's a hell of a combo. Yeah, I've always got a wet face.

But at least the face is exposed. That's what he's cold. It'd be worse the other way around. No, you'd want a cold face hot bod? No, because you're close cover. Because you're seeing, oh yeah, because your clothes cover. Yeah. Frenchiscus said pre-baby, I was a freezing person.

Post baby, I'm a boiling person. And it's science, I don't question it. She made a human and now she runs hot. Yeah, right. Anna said pregnancy is my internal heater. Hot. Yeah, this time of year's not too bad. Middle of summer being fully pregnant, it would be hot, hot, hot.

Yeah, hot. I'm a 50-50, but if I had to pick a dominant, it would be hot in more ways than one, said Catherine. Oh, yeah, good. You're feeling yourself. She's feeling herself. That's good. Tamson said cold.

I'm always sitting in the office of the hot water bottle and some cardigans. Oh, gosh. You know why? That's because men control the thermostat. It's the patriarchy. We're in charge of the air, get it down, get it down, men. No, she wants it up.

We've been cold. We like it cold. Yeah, we like it cold in the studio. Yeah, that's why I think we get on. I'm always cold, said Alicia. The other morning I woke up and thought the house was absolutely freezing. Turns out it was 20 degrees Celsius, how the heck? What?

Did I survive growing up in Queenstown? Yeah, heck. Because this is the thing with living with my parents now. They're older. Yep. They're cold always. Man, they feel the cold. And so I'll get home and there's a heat bumper.

I don't know why I installed that thing. Like, get it. gone? Yeah. Oh, yuck. Mart says, I can't stand being hot. I live in Dunedinitin. It's gloriously cold most of the time I have my legs out, year out. Get the pins out. Maybe I should move.

Well, for silly little poll, we said, does your body run hot or cold? And just the majority of you, 50% percent running hot. Play. Play. Z.N. Flesh, morning, Haley. It premieres tonight, and I tell you what,

there is no way in hell. going to be bad or not funny. Because of who's involved in this. I'm excited for this. No pressure. And we have the writer, Paul Williams, in studio. Hi, Paul. Hello.

You might know Paul if you don't know him already from his one for work on Taskmaster. Taskmaster, New Zealand, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for doing it, Haley. Any excuse to bring up Taskmaster this one? Yeah. I didn't even bring out the fact that one season five. There goes.

There it is. There it is. So you have written a new show. Why, you've got too much on, by the way. Yeah. But you've written a new show called New Zealand Spy. Yeah. And it starts tonight and it's got, you're in it.

I'm in it. Really smart to write something and cast yourself in it, by the way. Yeah, you should try that. Showed Rose Matafio, obviously. Joe Thomas from the In Betweeners. Brett McKenzie, Andy Lee from Hamish and Ander. Like this cast is, it's stacked. Stacked cast, yeah.

So what is it about? New Zealand spy? Yeah, it's about a spy from New Zealand. That's, yep. Great. Well, Paul Williams, it starts tonight. TVNZ2. No, yeah, it's a lot of fun.

I play a spy. Are there spies in New Zealand? Yeah. Yeah, you just don't know about us. I mean, them. Whoa. But yeah. What time period is it set in?

It's sort of vaguely 60s slash 70s. Right. Yeah, we don't specify exactly the year. 60s slash 70s. Yeah, there's kind of a knockoff Commonwealth games from Christchurch, which was 1974. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. Paul, it kind of feels like you don't know anything about the show. I don't know. Yeah. I can see how TVNZ publicist here being like, God, this is just dragging them around. It's going well. So you're playing a spy, you think,

in a time-ish 60s 70s. And who does everyone play? Who's Rose play? Rose is a spy from New Zealand. Okay. We shouldn't have said that. Who else is a spy? Brett McKenzie, a spy from New Zealand.

He's sort of a spy. administrator. Right. A spy admin. Yeah, he does admin. Joe Thomas, he's a spy. Right. Is he a British accent? Would tell me he's not from New Zealand.

Believe it or not, his character is from Christchurch. Okay. But has a British accent. So I think maybe went to boarding school in England. What about Andy Lee? He's going an Australian accent. He's an Australian spy. He's an Australian spy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of spies.

Right. See, the title implies spy, but Guys, strap in, there are multiple spies in the show. There's so many. Yeah, yeah. Spyser. Like, so you've got Abby Houses in there too, Guy, your older brother. Yeah, Abby is a receptionist, so not a spy. But she's spy adjacent.

Right, right. Jesse Griffin's in there, of course, from educators. Not a spy. Not a spy. Reese Mathewiczekir. Not a spy. So we've moved from the spy. Yeah, no, there are other jobs in the world.

Is he acts of Saudi, a Kiwi spy? He's a doctor. Kiwi doctor Yeah And he's getting a spinoff show New Zealand doctor Yeah right right right And so what do these spies get up to?

Spying Yeah sneak in Looking Prying You name it Running I get to ride a bike I ski

Oh wow Did you know how to ski previously Yeah I could ski I could ski a bit There's one bit where I kind of swim And that was controversial There was health and safety I shouldn't talk about that

Okay. I got in trouble. I got in trouble. I never spent off New Zealand Health and Safety Officer. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have fun filming this, obviously, because they've just put a whole bunch of really funny people in?

Yeah. No, it was like, it actually felt like it was like a thing people had just made just to like make my dreams come true because every day I would just go and get to like pretend to be a spy. A New Zealand spy specifically. I've got a lot. You don't have to tell me what's the budget on this thing?

I mean, the bloody cars. How did we get this thing across the line? It was at least a thousand. Wow. But hard to say. Is that what you got paid? I was volunteered. I volunteered.

I volunteered, but I think it was at least a thousand. Wow. And it mainly went to Andy Lee. Andy Lee. He's got into a massive rento on his hands. He needs that money. Wild. Everyone else was just doing it as a favour to you.

Genuinely. I'm just genuinely like, how did you get this cast? I mean, people, a lot of them don't need the work. No. No, I sent... Must be a good script. No, no. I have a lot of dirt on a lot of people.

Okay. Yeah. Because you're a spy. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more of a documentary. Yeah, right, right, right. Is this you soft launching as a spy?

Well, a good spy never says they're a spy. You've seen it twice. That's the third time you've confirmed you're a spy. I'd like to walk back the fact that I'm a spy. No, you can't. So it premieres tonight 830 on TVNZ2 and then streams on TVNZ2. Plus it's Paul Williams, a great cast, and they're all playing spies.

No, not all, but a lot. Oh, sorry, so Chavonne Ruikis is playing a nurse. Yeah, the bulk majority of them are playing spies. Yeah, if you like spies, then, oh, boy, have we got the show for you. And if you like New Zealand, wow. New Zealand spy is the show. It is the show. And there's a lot of confusion over the name, but that is the name that is not a working title.

New Zealand spy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't it where your brother's got a show called New Zealand today? It's only a few letters off, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's really, really close. Paul Williams, thank you so much.

Thanks so much for having me. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. Now, well, is it confirmed? Kind of. It's kind of confirmed via inside sources and the visual of a ginormous million dollar diamond on Zoe Kravitz's finger.

Wasn't there a... I saw her a headline that there might have been a Kiwi involved in the manufacturing of the jewelry. She's a ambassador or like a, what do you call them? Yeah, an ambassador for a ring company, which is a Kiwi designer. Zoe is. But the Kiwi designer is in London?

She's a Kiwi. Is that right? Something like that? I heard. Yeah. Oh, well, well, Ki-Ora. You know? Ki-Wha.

Big fat, Ki-Ola. Big fat Ki-Oda. So it's kind of been confirmed, all but confirmed. They haven't made a public statement. This is Harry Styles. Harry Styles and Zoe Kravitz are engaged. Jessica McCormack Yes

As a London-based jeweller And apparently Kravitz's previous engagement room From Channing Tatum was also designed by Jessica McCormack You know what you like You know what you like? What's the Kiwi connection? There is a Kiwi connection, isn't they? Did A-List?

Is she a Kiwi? Yeah, Jessica Inkormick did A-List Kiwi Jewelor Jessica McCormick make the ring. Kiwi Yeah, Huntley-based children. Christchurch born, sorry, Christchurch. One of the big ones. There you go, wow.

Not Huntley. Sorry, Huntley, going to need to take that off you. Like, traffic going through you. I've forgotten about Huntley because we've bypassed them. Never forget. They're stoked. I'm stoked. Everyone is stoked.

It worked for everyone. Apart from the person that owned that McDonald's. It was a good Donald's. And we miss out on some of the murals. I'm assuming people still go there. You know the McDonald's on the Huntley main street. 9-6-9-6 if you're in Huntley right now. In the KFC.

No, there's a KFCs. Oh, there is an Arnold's the episode of the service station. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that's still doing right. I reckon your Huntley locals would be keeping the, you know, keeping them going. Hell yeah. So here's your timeline, right? They were first seen together in Rome in August 2025, so just last year.

December 25, they were hanging outside of Berlin nightclub, yo. Doof, doof. They then spent Grammy week together on the West Coast before going to coffee, and that's when people started really like seeing them as a couple together. These are the public spottings. These aren't the only times they've hung out. Definitely not. And then, yeah, just as of late, he's proposed to her.

Kissing in London, enormous diamond ring made by a Christchurch, bloody jeweler. Isn't this insane? Someone's just messaged in from Huntley. Oh, yeah. How are they? No, I said if you're in Huntley. They're in Huntley. They said I'm in Huntley right now.

Oh, Khaoa. Kiyah. Oh, just want to hit them with a big fat Kiaoera. Okay, great. Yeah, nice. Yeah, nice. But less than a year, basically, from, Eight months, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, from basically meeting as far as we know to a million dollar Kiwi-made ring on that finger. Isn't that great? I want to know, because it's usually, I feel like usually three years, three years. It weren't for you when you know, you know, you know. If you know, you know. Yeah, if you know, you know. Statistically, though.

I want to know how fast was the engagement. You know, you meet those people and that they just go, nope, this is it, you were the one. it of my soul and we're doing this. We don't need to wait. We don't need to do all that groundwork. I already know that you're my person. And they get engaged really quickly.

When you know, you know. When you know, you know. When you know, you know. So this is what we want to know this morning. So when you guys met me, you know, when you know. When you know, you know. You just went, oh, wow. She's a keeper.

We love her. I'm not giving you half my stuff. When you know. No, no. We're getting a pre-no. We're getting a pre-down. We're getting a pre-down. It's tight.

Okay. So, oh, 800, Diles. We want to take your calls this morning and your text, 9696. How fast was the engagement? And did it work out? Are you still together? Or did it not work out? Oh, love. Like that first love can be very seductive, can't it? It just gets in your head and you forget that people are intolerable.

Or that they're not your one. They're not the one. You didn't know you knew. Oh, 800 dials at MSN number 9696. Text us now. How fast was the engagement? Yeah, Zoe Kravitz and Harry Stiles engaged, and it's only been like kind of eight-ish months that we know of. She's been engaged quickly before, too. Yeah, yeah, we sort of feel like she's got a whimsical sort of effort vibe.

Efforts. You know, we'll just, bloody, we'll just deal with it. Sort it out later. Jess, how early or quickly were you engaged? 364 days. Oh, wow. So what one day before your one-year anniversary? Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty much. So why so quickly? And why did you not wait for the anniversary? Well, he had the day off work, so he picked me out for lunch from my work. Oh, yeah. And because he was working on an anniversary, he's like, no, I'll know it at the day before. Oh, no. And you were like, yes, it's a yes for me.

This is the, you know, if you know, you know. You knew. Yeah, like, I knew. Like, we've been together seven years, married for two with two kids. And moved in together like three months. So, like, we kind of fast-tracked most things. Wow. Yeah, wow.

See, you're not messing around. I like that. So after the year, when you get... Did you then learn that you don't, you know, like things annoy you about him or... Oh, his whole personality annoys me, but I still love him. Crazy. Jessica. That's amazing.

That's amazing. 364 days. Oh, that's fun. That's so good. Jessica, thank you. Liz. How quick was the engagement? Within four months.

Four months. Wow. And are you still together? Yeah, so engaged within four months. Our engagement lasted the 11 months, and we've just celebrated 18 years married. 18 years. Well, when you know, you know, you know.

When you know, you know. When you know, you know. What was the moment after meeting your person that you knew? Like, what was it? Just being comfortable, being yourself. Yeah. Like, you just know they're going to accept you for here you are. Yeah, yeah.

It makes you feel like you can just be yourself. That's lovely. It's lovely, Jess. That was a lovely Jess. Thank you. No, that's Liz. Sorry, Liz. It was Liz.

Lovely Liz. David, how quick was the engagement? It was about six months. Far out. Six months. Okay. And you just knew what was meant to be? Yeah, pretty much.

Oh, yeah. We just clicked and, yeah, just, yeah, and then we married about six months later. Married and engaged within a year. Yeah, well, it was. supposed to be longer, but then the first, very first lockdown happened. So we got married the day before the very first lockdown.

Why not? And still together? Yes, we're expecting our first child in July. Oh, congratulations. If you know, you know, you know. You know, when you know, you know, actually. Yeah, but when you know you know. No, no, no, no. David, thank you. Vaughn, many messages coming in where it didn't work out because we're getting all the, obviously, the good stories, aren't we?

Which is lovely. It's very heart-warm. Yeah, it is. But I'd be like, oh, not that I've seen. God damn it I mean there was a couple of that like died Sorry People died

Yeah people died Well I met my late husband In February 2020 Snapped into the first lockdown Together seven months later he proposed We got married Unfortunately he died Then I met my current partner

And six months later he proposed And now we're happily together With our one year old Man this person's doing life on two times speed Get a life is short Drink it while it's fizzy You know Why not

We'll keep your text coming in 966-0800 Diles at M So we want to know how quick what the engagement was And whether or not it You knew, you knew Or it was more You know

What's the word? Young Love, like Yeah Early I'm looking through I'm scanning through All the ends, it ends in like 23 years together 26 years together We just celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary

Yeah, I know We're happy for you Yeah, people aren't rushing to tell us They made a terrible decision after three months And it ended after six Got engaged after two months and happily trauma bonded for 23 years until I left him at the age of 60.

Oh, yeah. There you go. There you go. That some therapists speak to it. Sounds like that also ended in therapy. So you were in your late 30s, got engaged quickly, stuck it out and then just realized life's too short.

Yeah. Wow. It's all leaning happily here. Good morning. Look at us picking for misery. Engaged. Which is a bit of balance, Haley. I think balance is important, you know.

Obviously, people probably aren't too quick. quick to message and yeah, rushed into it, married a psychopath. Yeah, you know. Yeah, realized he was a psycho. Yeah. My husband and I were engaged after six months. Been married together 34 years and our children are 30 and 27. That's nice.

Wow, that's cute. Been together 24 years, married for 22 of them. We got engaged after about a month of being together. Whoa. Oh, somebody said when I used to be Mormon, I got engaged pretty quick. Yeah. That happens. That'll happen.

just because they want to get down to business. Yeah. The Soking's not doing it anymore. Yeah. That's a whole thing, eh? That's a whole thing. Remember Pippie Long Dix? That was Pip and Richard.

We gave them a couple's nickname on the show. Yes, yes. Pippie Long Dix here. That would be a great idea for a segment as we could come up with your couple name. I thought of this yesterday when I watched the great clip, which you should go and check out. It should have been Dick Pips.

You know, like Dick Pips. No, Pippie Long Dix is one bit of it. We're going to engage after six weeks. Married six months later, two kids who have been married for 31 years. Well, 31 years. Yeah. Gosh. I can't imagine anything worse, but yes.

My dad proposed after a few weeks. I called my mum by his ex-girlfriend's name. Oh. During the proposal, do you think. They were together for 20-odd years. Oh, so he got out of that dog box. 20 years of year, eventually. 10 years in and still not engaged.

Tips on how to hurry him up. Just get nagging. Telling me, yeah. Just get nagging them, it'll go one of two ways. I think bully them into it. Yeah. And always know that the marriage was a fraud. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that they did it under duress. They actually didn't want you. I got married after eight months. Married after eight months. Wow. Left him three years later. Okay, cool. Thank you.

You gave me a good nudge, though. Sister one got engaged after two months and married by seven months. Baby not long after. Got divorced after three years. Sister two got engaged after two months and then married four months later. Still together. because they've only been married for one month so far. Okay, if we're one month into a marriage, I don't think we're.

Got engaged after a week, broke up after three months. He proposed after three months together. Did you read that? Heavily influenced due to the fact that I was three months pregnant to him. We've been together 16 years now. It's less of when you know you know. It's more when you knock her up, you better do the right thing. We had that a couple of generations ago in my family.

I won't name names. Right. But they got married very quickly, very young. Although, no, not actually. Did? But they're not. But they were together forever. Yeah.

Because it was just the dumb thing. Yeah, it's just what you did. Yeah, so here we go. My old religious school teacher got engaged within a week of dating his girlfriend. Quite a wild role model for children. Yeah, right. A week. Now when you know you, nay, you name.

The ZN podcast network, play ZN's flesh, one and Haley. Remember Laneway? How fun that was. Yeah. Wasn't it great? It's going back. It's going back a while. When was that?

February 5th. February. February. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. It was just we came back from the summer break and stuff. February was great. And before we went to Laneway, Fletch, you hosted drinks at your house.

And it was such a good time. Yeah, I don't think I'll be hosting drinks in my house ever again. Because you're renovating. Yeah, because there'll only be white drinks allowed. Only white drinks. You're all right. So no mugging-a-thus. Sometimes one brings his raspberry cruises.

Yeah. And there'll be none of those on the carpet. Raspberry cruises, whatever flavour that green is. Green. Green. Green. Green cruises. Yeah, green cruises.

Yeah, we do. It was great. And then we all got the public, we got the bus, a double-decker bus. It was just such a great day, but there was such a mixed group there. And you may remember I brought a friend.

Not that friend, a female friend. Yes. Yes. Remember, and she joined our group. She wanted to see Chapel Rhone and none of her friends were going. So I was like,

I've got a big group of friends. coming. She came over and she was having drinks and stuff with us. She was amazing. And we ended up bloody stumbling down the road to a pub waiting for the bus home at the end of the night and everything. It was great time. I haven't seen her since. Oh, right.

Then very busy lives. Great friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Terrible friend. And I saw her yesterday and I clocked something and I was like, well, it's happened to a lot of us lately. myself included. We've just blown out a little bit. Oh, goodness, okay.

Blown out a bit. You know, I just sort of quickly looked at her. You said you caught up yesterday where she just like, God, it was great to see you. I hope you get some content out of our catch-up to talk about it on the radio and you're like, yeah, I want to talk about

how you've got fat. No, no, no. Fat in a specific area, but I dare not say. And I was like, okay, she's got a belly. And I was like, have you been? Oh, okay. I was like, gosh, I haven't seen you for a while. I'm not going to say.

not going to say. I mean, I'm really thinking, but I'm not going to say, is it? I haven't seen it for a while. How have you been been busy? I'm pregnant. And I went, oh my God. I was like, I'm so happy. I knew that she was, you know, was excited to be pregnant again. Oh my gosh. You got pregnant at Fletcher's house. I'm like, no, no. Congratulations. That's not the truth. He's going to be a father.

Love you're renovated. In that second bedroom, it needs to be a nursery. A nursery. No, no, no. The trick is far smaller than that. But I was like, oh my gosh. But I was like, it wasn't that long ago since I saw you. and she really, I could really tell. He really pregnant. And she said, oh my God, I literally just found out four days before I went to Laneway with you guys. And I was like, hang on a moment.

She was smashing the gins. And I remember, and I'm not judging here. You live your own life. But I'm judging. I am. I am. Don't drink while you're pregnant. Yeah.

And I remember. Otherwise you'll end up with a face like this. What is that one is? That looks like it doesn't know how to have sex. Feetal alcohol. Fetal alcohol face. That's what it must be. It's fast.

Fetal alcohol face. Maybe. Maybe. Oh, mama. You know she loved an aquila, a couple of glasses of a quailer. And then I was remembering, I was remembering that she had brought a lovely bottle of gin to your house. It was really fancy.

And I remember the next day, remember you were kind of piecing together everyone's bits and bobs. And you sent this being like, is this your friends? And I said, yeah, that's really expensive. I messaged you being like, I'll grab your gin from Fletcher. She said, no, no, no, he can just keep it. And I was like, oh, okay, so you put it on your bar cart. And then so when she told me she was pregnant at Laneway, I was like, what the hell?

She was like, oh yeah. I said, but you were having drinks with us the whole day. She was like, oh my God, guess what? That was fake gin. What? It was just water in there. Oh, so she put water into a fancy gin bottle. Yeah, and brought it over to have gin and tonics.

with us. And then I was like, oh my God, that went back on Fletcher's bar cart, which Fletcher's recently been trying to like, you know, have drinks and stuff. The general population. To get down. And I was like, I wonder how many gin and tonics you've served at your house that was maybe just water. That have none. No gin. Oh my God. No gin. It was just a bottle of water that she left on your car. Because I packed everything away before renovation, so I don't know if it's still there or somebody's been drinking it or... Or we've been drinking it, having, you know, martinis or whatever gin and tonics

at your house with just water. But it was just water. Wow. So you've got a real fancy bottle of water on your car. I did think what a great score. I've got, you know, two thirds of bottle of gin here. I think it was one of those like the botanist, you know? Like it was real nice.

Nah, hon, it's water. And I was like, I wonder if I've been to Fletcher since then been like, well, that's my friend's gin. I'll have a almost south of gin. And then start acting all, I'm getting buzzed. It's just water. her mate. She was drinking fake gin. Great acting from her. Really brilliant. She fell over a couple of times too so you're really good acting. I know. I was like we were all a bit steamed. She was like no I was having a good time keeping up. Oh she was so well the rest of us

absolutely. And she said when she got to the thing, remember we all got drinks and stuff, she got a zero beer and thinking they're going to pour it into a cup and they did and she was like oh I'll be caught they'll notice it. I was like no we were we were just focusing on our own drinks. Wow okay. I know well played by her but there is a very expensive looking gin on your cart. God, that's such a 15, 16 year old thing to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, drink the gin and then refill it with water. And so mum and dad don't know?

Yeah. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. Well, she's got one of the biggest followings in New Zealand for Bookster Grammers, and she joins us in studio. Ashley Anderson, hello? Hello. From Ashes Reds.

I followed you for ages. Really? Yeah. Oh, I love it. For a long time. 200,000 followers across the world. Sorry, one, sorry, if I could, how many followers does Fletch listens? Oh, you have Fletch lessons?

I've got an Instagram account and I do audio. Sorry, as your social media, I've slipped a little bit on that. Yeah. Um, uh, 1,125. Oh, well, there you guys. Hot on your heel. So, Ash, because, um, I like to read books and, uh, Fletch likes to listen to books. And he, he stands by that audio books is reading. And so he started a competitive page to at Carwin Reeds, which is at Fletch listens.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. So far it's just him going to this. He doesn't actually listen to the books. No, I'm just, it's a, it's a, um, look, don't come at me. Now, Ash, you have, on your book talk, you read romance mostly. Yeah, romance and fantasy, yeah. Romance fantasy, smart, if we're being honest.

Yeah, I mean, you know. Some of it. Yeah. And you review them. And then you were like, oh, well, I think I could have a go at this. Yeah, I think I, I mean, I always wanted to do something like this before I got into the book talk, books togram world.

Yeah. And then when I was in it, I was like, oh, people like do this. Yeah. Like actually do this. And I, because I didn't know what indie publishing was or anything like that. And so I was going to go down that route. Yeah. And it just happened that I kept talking about how I was going to write a book.

Yeah. And then I got picked up by a publisher. Yeah. Yeah. And then you were like, oh God, now I've got a writer. Yeah. And you have... How long would it take it?

It's a thicky. So this is called... This is the first of a trilogy, I believe. Yeah. Is that right? Oh, no, it looks like... You're like, don't come in me to two more. It might not be well.

It's called Malachi. It's called Malachi. Dark Academia Romanticacy series. It gives you an enemy to lovers, slow burn, elemental powers, force proximity, found family and the perfect amount of spies. Yeah. What's it about?

So it's about a female man character named Aron Al-Kha and she enters. That's right. Ariah now knock that's a name and a half yeah yeah I gotta think of a good fantasy name yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and she enters valmora academy she was always supposed to go there but everything's kind of changed since her brother was murdered and he was murdered because he supposedly killed a bunch of students using dark magic oh and so she's kind of going there to fix you know

the family name and really uncover what happened. Yeah. But she has no magic and this is an academy where you need magic to enter one of three units. Well you could do it. We could learn some magic because producer Shannon's boyfriend's a magician. He could teach you magic.

There you go. Yeah. It's not real magic. In the book. Just slide a hand get you into this college. Yeah. Yeah. Metilism. Yeah. Stealing watches. Yeah. I mean anything. It's better than her. She has got nothing. Yeah, right, okay.

And yeah, you need magic to enter one of the three units, which is Malachite, Opal, or Agate, so the Warrior Unit, the Scholars or the Healers Unit. And her brother's best friend, he is the unit leader of Malachi. Oh, she's going to have to... Yeah, she's going to have to... Yeah.

And stuff. Exactly, and he wants her gone, though. He doesn't want her there. He hates it. Oh, okay. Oh, he hates her. Enter the Ennisterman. Yeah. It's good. It's virtually gone. got it all.

Because you be reading a bit of smart. You've read a little bit, Vourney. You've touched on it. I've been, yeah. What have you been reading? He's flicked through some of the, you're more fantasy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I go a bit mafia on it, and Fletch just listens. I just listen, yeah. We love this. Where would you say on a spy scale because you rate all the books that you review on a spy scale? Where is this?

I feel like maybe a two. And then I wanted it, because it is a slow burn, so it takes, a good amount of tension to get, you know, where you want it to get. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I want it to be a bit of a build-up for book two, which might have a little bit more.

We might go to a three and then to a four. It could do, you know, I love a build-up. Because you are so knowledgeable on everything, sort of romantic, fantasy, romance, mutty, we thought we'd each write a small paragraph each from a book that we're all individually working on. Love that. I'm so intrigued. And you could give us maybe,

some notes. Do you want me to say maybe a spice level? And a spice level. Yeah, yeah. Shall I say who's is whose? Because the boys want me to read them. I don't reckon. I don't reckon. I don't reckon. You read them anonymously. Maybe after you give the spice level, we find out. At the end, after all three readings. Okay, so I've got three readings for you. Can I guess who did who?

Yeah, you can get. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Okay. Oh, you've got some music for them. Oh, my God. Okay. Here's, um, extract number one. He emerged from the water. His long hair dripping down the ripples of his chest and abs. His bright, crystal blue eyes locked with hers, a naughty smile appearing at the corner of his mouth. Her mouth dropped open about to speak, when he quickly stopped her with a kiss.

She tasted the salt of the ocean on his lips, and she let out a little moan. He pulled away, drinking her in. You ready, baby? Because Aquaman's about to make you drown. Oh, God. That's excerpt number one. Who's could that back?

They had Mills and Bunei, they had Mum's book When you're stuck in a rainy beach house And there's nothing to do. I mean, that's also an intellectual property of Warner Brothers. Yeah, it is. Well, don't sue me if that was my writing at all. Oh. Who knows?

Okay, should we had this the second one? Exert, excerpt number two. He grabbed her by the hand and felt it was a little bit clammy. But he still felt a little tingle in his undies. Oh my God. This guy clearly listens. He said, I've always wanted to hold hands before.

I didn't know it would feel this good. We can do more, she said. No thanks, he said. The clammy hand is enough for today. He's like, I never knew it could feel this good, but it's clammy. It's clammy. He's noticed it's clammy. Exactly.

Okay. No, thank you. That's enough for today. Oh, my God. I'm good. I love on the sun. Spectrum erotica? Jesus, right.

We don't know who this is, but that's clearly for a guy that doesn't read. I want to know, we didn't know what level we were writing this at. I didn't know what level... Well, here's the third one. Well, obviously, for the radio, Vaughn. Yeah. That's why I went with holding hands. She's got a level two.

Okay, here we go. Here's the third extract. Except, excerpt. As he grabbed her by the jaw, forcing her mouth open, he asked if she'd been a good girl. Her answer was a stifled yes. Louder, he said. Yes, you managed to get out.

Then you get a reward, he said. The moment before he spanned in her mouth. I don't think I can say this next sentence. Before he spout in her mouth, sliding his hand over her mouth as he deeply took her. The smell of sex was thick in the air as he released his grasp on her mouth. And she sucked it as much air as she could, while remnant of his saliva

dribbled out the corner of him. And down to her chin as she hoisted from the floor onto the laundromat bench. And a laundromat. Sir, this is a public liquid laundromat. You can't be doing that in here. This is for washing and drying your sheets and blankets. Boom!

It's taking her there and then back again. Ash, you are the expert on all things. Romance. What did you think of the first one? sort of Aquaman based fan fiction. Ash, who was a author of Smart, published author of Smart, is shocked by what you've written for. It was the...

Yes? It was spout out for me, NYEAS. Oh, N-E-S. Okay, so Spice level on the Aquaman fan fiction. I mean... I could go anywhere. I feel like it was like building to it, you know? It had good description.

Love that. but I would like It's a two Like a 1 Like a half A 0.5 A 0.5 How nice

Okay What about the second one Where the only action That occurred Was a man enjoying Holding a clamy woman's hand Yeah but the You know

The negative one Promise The promise of more to come Negative one That's not even a slow burn That was a soppy blanket It was very YA You know

Yeah Yeah That's in us for today Yeah Well it's meant to be on the radio Unlike Vorns And what about our liquid laundromat saga with the...

You know what? That was probably spicy in their mind. Spitting in the mouth. Wow, okay. You know? And holding it in there. It's back, yeah. But I also love that he, like, opened her mouth to say something to her. Like... Oh, there's more where that came from. Well, should we reveal... I think it's quite clear

who's was whose. Fletch, some work to do, I think. Right, I was the holding hands on. But again, for the radio at this time of the morning... I didn't know. No one told me. They just said, write something hot. Yeah. Okay, right. Well, Ash, thank you so much for coming in.

And good luck with the sale of the book, Malika. It sounds absolutely amazing. And I'm very happy for you that you've, you know, you've gone from review. It's very posh. It's a posh looking cover. Yeah. It's a posh looking cover on your book going to be. Just like a laundromat.

You could flick open a cold water surf box. Yeah, you could do that. Yeah, that'd be nice. Like a dryer door, like a front-loading dryer. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. Well, look it up. And also, if you don't know, Ash, you've got to follow her on Ashes underscore

reads. The ZDN podcast network. What's going on? ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. It's accidental discovery slash findings this week. at fact of the day. Yesterday we learned about a secret underground city in Turkey

that was discovered by a man doing some renovations and his chickens kept going through a crack in his wall in the basement and it was a 18 store. So many people messaged me throughout the day yesterday with photos that had been and said it was the most amazing place. Yeah. And if you're ever in Turkey, you should 100% go to it. Yeah, add that to your travel.

The secret underground. And yeah, it was underground because it was to hide from invading forces. And today's kind of a similar thing. Oh, okay. Today is the story of how a goat changed the history of the Bible. Great. A goat. A goat.

What's this goat done? Well, in the winter of 1946 into 1947 on the rocky northwest shore of the Dead Sea near Qumran, a shepherd was out getting his goats. The shepherd's name is Mohamed Edib, and he was nicknamed the wolf because he was very good at guarding the goats. Okay. He would never let no goats left behind. And he noticed some goats were missing. So what they did around there is there were these little caves and stuff and they'd just walk and toss a rock in.

Oh, yeah. And it would either hit a goat and the goat would come out or it would hit the wall and it would make an echoing noise and the goat would come out of the cave because it was scared of the noise. God, ideally don't hit the goat. Lobbed a rock in there. Not a hard for it.

Lobb. Right. Lobbs a rock in there and here's the an unmistakable tinkle of shattered pottery. Oh, goodness me. That's interesting. What have we got here? and threw another one.

Again, the sound of breaking pottery. And he's like, oh, he dropped a pin. I'll come back. In 19... In 1946. He literally dropped the pin, got a pin in. I'll come back. He came back the next day with his companions

and went inside the cave with some lights and found tall clay jars that was sealed. And he, that way, discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls. Oh, the Dead Sea Scrolls. The Dead Sea Scrolls. So inside that cave, which is what, like a cinnamon scroll? Yeah, dude. I think so.

It's salty sweet. It's like bacon. It's like caramel with cream cheese. Salted caramel or scrolls. Cream cheese drizzle. They've actually slapped pretty hard. So that cave became known as Cave 1 because that's where they found tall clay jars. The lids were still sealed.

They found scrolls and they were wrapped in linen. He didn't know what it was. But he was like, these look valuable. Took them to a leather worker they knew in Bethlehem nearby. You'll recognize that. Just out of Todonga? Yep. Just out of Todonga.

Great place for Pat's pies. Yep. Oh, yeah. of the year every year. Lovely. We might be getting our Bethlehem's confused. This is the Bible Bethlehem. And this leather worker who made shoes, purchased it off them.

It was just like, yeah, I'll see if anybody's interested in it. Then it started getting attention. And then someone unraveled, running there like, holy moly, this is. And it turns out to be the oldest text of the Bible, basically, thousands of years older than the previously oldest, well-kept ones. And it turns out they were put in the cave, put in the jars and hidden in caves. because the Romans were coming through and just like trying to crush every religion that wasn't theirs.

Yeah, right. So people were hiding it in the caves for it to be discovered sometime later, although it did survive. But religion's always been causing problems, hasn't it? Yeah. Since forever. Thank you. We're just sitting back like, oh.

I don't really care. You believe what you want to believe. We're putting our copies of Harry Potter in the pots and putting them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, be like, no one's going to take my wizardry. I'd be hiding my cinnamon scrolls from the invading Romans. Oh, yeah. You know what the Romans are getting? I don't think they keep in a terracotta pot.

though. Cinnamon scrolls. Not for that long. No, you'd want to get a chest fraser and some sort of power unit in the caves. It might be probably used my systemer. But the generator running the fridge would probably draw attention.

I was thinking solar. Oh yeah. And a nice battery because it's also on the, you know, close of the dead sea. Famously sunny area. Yeah, true. Desert like. Yeah.

So today's fact of the day on the accidental discoveries was that if a goat hadn't gone walkie-walkies, we may still never have discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls. Fact the day, day, day, day, day. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flethorn and Haley.

We want to know right now what is the wildest thing you've done in the name of beauty, because I just kept seeing it everywhere. We're rubbing beef tallow everywhere. We're putting whale sperm on our face. Now, beef tallow quite easy to come by. Wild sperm. How does one acquire whale sperm? A harder extraction process, I do imagine.

Finding a whale significantly harder than finding a beef. Yeah, totally. It's not that they're without merit, but I'm like, don't we have what oil of Olai? Have people been putting urine from animals? Yeah. It's just calm down. Everyone's like, I wonder if this cow pissed on me, you know, would I get rid of my wrinkles?

And it's always the first thing they do. There's never drinking water and exercising. God, no. Yeah, you're trying. I did some exercise yesterday. There's some water today. Yeah. And water just constantly makes me wee.

Yeah, I know. Give me some of that whale's... It's so funny. Like, literally, if you ask any dermatologist or beautician or anything, what is the number one thing we can do? It's literally sunblock and water and sleep. Yeah. Then, you know, whale sperm is so much further down the line, I think. And again, not to say that they don't have merit, but what do we do?

Is this another... Actually, if you are a dermatologist, how far down the line is Wales then? Is this another... 9-6-9-6. Gwyneth Paltrow thing? Oh, no, I mean, she probably does. She probably does. But it's everywhere, man.

Everyone's using different animal extracts, and a lot of it quite... You know. Well, people get the burns, don't they? People get face burns from... I mean, you got a bloody rash from germoplanning, didn't you? No, I know. I know that I rubbed terrible things into it. That was me.

But I want to know what is the wildest thing you've tried in the name of beauty. You know, there's always the latest thing, or you smear this on your face, you've made your own masks, and maybe it didn't go well. Maybe you were like, you know what, I can do my own Brazilian wax sugaring. And how did that turn out for you, Hon? Probably not that great. Probably a lot of pimples. Yeah, probably that bikini line looked a lot worse than just having a couple of stray pubes.

Yeah. Okay, well, this is what we want to know. Oh, 800, Dars at M. you cannot call. Text through 9-696. What's the wildest thing you've done in the name of beauty? Bizarre beauty treatments. Whale sperms and this, that and this urine and this species.

Fox urine and fox crap. All kinds of weird stuff. Beef tallow, which I know, you know, is very old, but I just put some sunblock on. Wasn't coconut oil for ages the thing? And then everyone's like, nah, over that. Yeah, yeah, we're not doing that anymore. What was that? We were swilling coconut oil for a while.

I remember getting your mouth full of a coconut. Oil pulling. Yeah, yeah. And it was pulling stuff out of your mouth and stuff. I don't know how we'd do anything. Put pads on our belly buttons to draw out toxins. It's not true. We'll do anything apart from workout.

Workout, go to bed, drink water, eat vegetables. No eight or nine hours sleep. No, we'll get five hours sleep but put something horrific on our skin and hope that helps with the bags. Also, I'm very hypocritical. I've had Botox. I've had all sorts of treatments done. Why not?

What have you done in the name? of beauty, Kylie, what have you done? I tried the anti-aging skincare with Korean beauty. Yeah. And so my face rushed up and I researched. And because I've got a seafood allergy,

I was thinking, oh, maybe snails are related to that. But no, it's to do with dust mite allergies. Oh, okay. Dust mite. Dust mite's in the Korean skincare as well, Or is it just the snail stuff? No, so the snail mucin must be something like dust mite. How bad?

That was the ranch. So bad, so sore, so hot. Oh, mate. As someone who's also heard of face a ranch. My face is just healing from peeling a week later. Oh, my God. Right, but after it healed, like after, was it beauty? Was it beautiful?

No. Oh, okay. So that didn't work. I'm not. I won't be touching it again. Because somebody did message and they had that carbon dioxide fractional laser burnt off my entire face. I looked like a burns victim for over a month. Blood scabs and all extremely painful.

But now I have the skin of a 20-year-old and everyone tells me how great my skin is. What? They lasered. Can I get a shark with a fricking laser beam on its head? That's crazy. Kylie, thank you for sharing. But Kylie, if you actually just saved someone, they said, oh no, I bought that snail mucin and I have a dust mite algae.

You haven't put it on yet. Oh Was it like anything It's like do a patch test Nobody does a patch test I know if hair dye there I was like do a patch test You're like oh sure

Or like you know a carpet cleaner They're like do a patch test It's like no the cats just vomited I don't have time to do a test Yeah yeah I'm not doing that I want strolling small balloons in my cheeks To iron out the wrinkles Didn't work at all

Wait say again They put the balloons in their mouth And they had somebody else blow them up Smooth up Or they had them inserted under the skin That's insane Small balloons in the cheeks to iron out the wrinkles didn't work at all.

Oh, yeah. Well, you've got wrinkles, don't you? You're not going to fix those unless you fill them, right? Unless you fill them and pull them. Yeah. Pull them, fill them and freeze them. This is aging, isn't it? Just let yourself age.

How's that going for you with your Botox? Look, it's all gone. You're not doing it. Nah, I paused a little bit because of doing stand-up. I'm doing so much stand-up at the moment. It's hard to, like, express your feelings. And I kept clocking. once you see women with Botox, you can't unsee it.

And now I just notice that everyone's face is frozen. I'm not saying I won't do it again. I definitely will. But for the time being, I'm enjoying everyone knowing when I'm shitty. You know what I mean? Keep your text coming in, 9-696-0-800-M. The things that you have done in the name of beauty, maybe it backfired?

Yeah. Like the snail facial. The strange things you've done for beauty in the name of beauty to try to maybe fight off aging or maybe you're just the minger. Maybe you're a minga, you're just trying to fix that. You're just trying to fix the fact that you're a, you know, two out of ten minga. I think it's been fed to me and I don't know why,

what's happened to my algorithm, but there is a girl who said, I just recognised within myself as I was an adult that I was an ugly adult. She said, and I didn't want to do that. So bit by bit, but she's just changed it all. She's like, you can just not be ugly if you want to be. Really?

How is she doing it? Cosmetic surgery. Surgery on surgery. Like, I'm talking like breaking bones, like restructuring her face. New teeth, new jawline, new cheeks, new this, new hairline. You've been.

are looks maxing and hitting your chin with a hammer, haven't you? I have been looking at least of time, though. You've got a beard. I mean, you don't need to smash your jaw. No, that's why it's great. Because one day I'll shave the bed off and I'll just have this. That's why people have be able to have beds and chin straps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have good chin. Ugly face. Yeah. Wild. Looks maxing. Because how is your looks maxing going? Well, you tell me. It's not happening on the face. You need to hit harder, I think. Pick the hammer. You need to hit the hard.

harder with the hammer. Somebody said, I used to be a beauty therapist and I decided to try the new acid peel a few days before I went on a youth leadership camp. Sala-silic. The peel was so much stronger than I thought and my skin started peeling off in sheets. Oh no.

I was surrounded by a bunch of teenagers who kept asking me what's wrong with my face. And sheets. In sheets. Like flaky puff pastry. Flaky like a croissant. Yeah. Peeling off like a croissant.

Somebody else said, I once read that reading Moistrizer and Sox To bed makes your feet really soft So I tried it I didn't realize

I picked up a tanning Moistrariser My feet Oh no In the middle of summer of school Everyone called me Carrot feet

Ooh I couldn't imagine Going to sleep With wet, mushy socks I know Ooh Oh And slightly Between your toes

Ooh You'll end up With athletes Foot like Vaughn You will And that's Very easily Fixed by Lavisole

You can get that At Chemisle House Is that fantastic Show Sponsonsons The show sponsor wants to be associated with your mankie feet. It's just not sexy content, you know what I mean? No. It's like, oh, go get a nice mascara or something.

Not like, who your athletes first. Yeah, but I'm just saying they deal with the good stuff and they deal with the bad stuff. So many people really go into the extremes, eh? Can I say something to our listeners? You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can bring you down. Someone did a blood facial because the Kardashians were promoting it and I did not.

I did not come out looking like Kim Kardashian. Yeah, I put my own blood injected into myself and my head. What I think, um... It's my own blood. But I do think people think they're going to look like the Kardashians, but they didn't start out with the basic Kardashian setup. Like all the money. The money is paid to fix your makeup face.

Yeah. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flash forne and Haley. Well, I came across this on the internet last night. And I think it's something we know, but I think it's a good reminder. And I thought specifically for you two. Oh, okay. Fletch and Vaughn, I just opened my period tracker app from on day 28, you know?

So of a 28 to 35 day cycle. Okay, so tie down the trampoline, move everything out of the backyard. Get some canned foods and some water and just batten down the hatches team. Don't leave the house unless absolutely necessary. Yeah, exactly. Work from home if you can. You work from home, unless you're essential worker. Follow all the advice from civil defence in the council.

That's right. Yeah, you don't take matters into your own hand. Leave it to the experts. Yeah, because when a cyclone period arrives, you want to be ready. You want to be ready to go. I felt it kick in yesterday. It's like this thing. I think yesterday I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was the size of a house. And then you're like, okay, this is coming. Where are you looking? I'm just dundling and looking down here. The woman knows. You're like, okay, my boy is. My body's all right. Oh, I'm sorry.

Beached whale alert! That's how I felt yesterday, and then my mood came crashing down. You can look at me, I'm fine. I'm all right. I'm just down here. I'm not looking up into the right. Yeah.

So then I came across this article. I thought it was really funny. It was the words you never want to say to an angry person and what to do instead. Okay. So there's two phrases. They both kind of mean the same thing. One I would say is worse than the other.

Can you, any idea? of what it would be. When someone's angry? Calm down. Correct. And the slightly worse version of that? Don't worry? Relax.

Relax. Never say calm down or relax to someone in the swings of anger. Yeah. Or who's just having an absolute tis as I want to do. In the entire history of the world, it's never calmed me down.

No. So what are you meant to say or do? Also, they do say, watch your tone because yelling calm down is very ironic. We're not yelling calm down. Calm down. Instead... What about say I'm in a patronising time?

Calm down. Hey, what are we calm down? Well, here's what the psychiatrist recommended instead, which also to me feels a bit patronising, depending on the day of the cycle. Instead, you want to model the behaviour that you want. So you're going to drop your own voice soft to the normal.

You're going to slow your tone and you're going to remain visibly calm yourself instead of also matching it. You're mirroring the emotional tone that you want to see. And then the idea is that I would then, as the angry person in this fictitious scenario, I would then start to mirror that and it would calm me down. So should we do a roleplay? You say what you said before, Haley. And then, born, you use this technique.

Okay. Yeah. Do you guys, have you guys noticed when I'm, I came in today and I'm wearing the skirt that I wear literally like multiple times a week that today it's super tight and then I'm literally the biggest human being alive? I reckon calm down. I see. Just pause there.

No, she said don't say that. Sorry. I don't you've just misconstrued. No, no, no, no, no. You want to say other thing. You want to let them vent. You want to give them words. I'm hearing you.

I hear you. No. Oh yeah, because I've just said I'm the size of a house. You want me to say, yeah, yeah, I'm hearing you. I hear you. You do look bigger than usual. I've seen bigger houses. Yeah.

That's what you should say. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you guys, there's so much work to do here that it's just so far away. More like a tiny home. A townhouse. Yeah. Yeah, one of those townhouses that shares a wall with people on both sides. Yeah, great.

And there's no off-street parking. I don't think this has helped at all. I think just stick to general nods and, I hear you. And slowly walking backwards out of the room. Just retreat. Yes. The ZN Podcast Network Play ZDN's Fletchhorn and Haley

I want to know when you were a little shit bag as a teenager When you were just a little brat And you acted out Because police are currently in Sydney On the Hunt for two teenage boys Who were filmed surfing On the roof of a bus That was travelling through the suburbs

What? So It's like the game subway surfer Except suburban bus surfer Yeah Those buses are at all. How do you get on top of them? So there's no... And you always say that they

go under something that they underestimated the height of. The child was up there, it would have been smacked right off. Well, the police are taking this quite seriously because of this very reason. It's not it's not just ha ha ha ha naughty. So no one saw them getting on, but they were being filmed while they were on there. They were like lying back, kind of just relaxing, hitching a ride on this bus.

From East Gardens to Bondi Junction where the bus stopped and they jumped on off and the footage was given to the police. And the police said, too often it's young people getting caught up in this. They're putting themselves and others at serious risk. Nothing harmless about this type of behaviour in dangerous lives and disrupts the safety of a transport network.

Yeah, because if that bus stops in a sudden, and, you know, because of a car in front of them slamming on their brakes or something, you're just coming straight off that bus. Yeah, and you're probably dead. Yeah, at the same rate that it was travelling. Yeah, totally. We're not encouraging this kind of behaviour, but I was like, man, teenagers. You just get this rebellious little thing in you.

I want to know when you were a shipback because at my high school there was a thing and I won't say who did it but you freeze a fish have you heard of this one before you freeze a stinky fish and then you get a microplane and you microplane it through someone's car

so then the whole car smells of fish you can't get it out Haley I won't say who did it wait who did they do it too a teacher No! Haley yeah but she was a cow by the way

When I say I won't say I won't say who it is, it wasn't me. It genuinely wasn't me. Yeah. But it was a very close acquaintance of mine and I may have been nearby. Wow. But, you know, what was your ratbag move as a teenager in particular? Maybe you got away with it or maybe you got caught. Mm-hmm.

And you got some... Maybe it was suspended. Yeah, some punishment. Like, what did you have to do to get expelled? I never got suspended, but I got close. We had a couple of expulsions from school. Well, it doesn't need to be something that was at school. It could have just been like when you finish school and you and your mates.

You're at home or your brothers. Yeah, or you go out with your mates and then you just end up getting into trouble. Yeah. Okay, 0,800-M is our number. We'd love to hear from you now. You can text through 9-696. When were you a little rat bag as a teenager? What did you do?

Two absolute S bags in Sydney on the run from the po-po because they surfed on top of a bus. and it's not good. It's very dangerous. Yeah, we want to know this morning when you got into trouble as a teen. Yeah, well, maybe you didn't get caught. Yeah. You were just naughty. I remember my friend and I roll, we lived up a big driveway and we rolled grapefruit into cars

and that was the game. You had to try and hit the cars with the grapefruit. So it had to time it. Yeah, it had to time it. Oh, moving cars. Bounce onto the road and hit a car. Moving cars. That's your rat bag, maids. Yeah, yeah, we got in trouble because we had a car

and they came and complained. And then we weren't allowed McDonald's. Oh, dude. I know. It was McDonald's on the cards. Yeah, McDonald's was on the cards. Oh, no. And back in the day, it wasn't always on the cards.

No, no, it was not on the cards. It was never on the cards. It was never on the cards. I know. It's like a Friday treat and we didn't get it. Oh, no. Well, you don't deserve it. Sorry, my man.

I mean, they should have been... You've made up for it since. You've done far naughty of things and treated yourself to Donald's afterwards. Do you know what I can get... Filthy things. I can get non-olds whenever I want. I'm an adult.

I can get non-olds. I could literally order non-olds right now and it would turn up. And Patsy, you don't have a word. You don't have a word to say about it. You can't stop me. Craig, I'd like to see you try to stop my nuggies arriving. No, you'll get home and I'll know. What did you get non-olds?

What did you do to deserve that? Did you need that? I'd be like, oh. We asked on Instagram for some responses, and we've heard from a few people on the old text machine as well. Anonymous place. I had some adult fun times at the way we had a hot. pulls after hours. Oh, that is Thrush Manifest. You are gonna... Boy! No one of that place is shut

down. The rich Russians bought it just to shut it down after what you did in there. Oh, the pH. Yeah, I hope it wasn't on the hydra slide. Yeah. Somebody else said, I was on a student exchange and somehow got convinced to go streaking. We got caught and we got so much trouble. If you misbehaved on a student exchange, the outcome was always so much worse than just being in your hometown and being naughty. 100%. Yeah. Because you can be sent in. home, right? Straight away. Yeah. Yeah. I'd steal my mum's siggies. She smoked so much to get so many siggies, she never really noticed that a few were going missing here and there. Okay. My husband's friend stole a sheep, broke into school and put it in

the school common room. Oh my God, a sheep? Yeah. How did you wrangle it? I mean, once you get a sheep on its back, that's how you share them, you flip them over and they kind of give up. They're a bit stunned. But you see, you've got to drag that thing to the common room. I give up when I'm on my back too. Yeah, me too. I'm just like, take me. I'll help. Oh, I'm on my back. Share me. Here now.

Shave me. Shave me. I went to boarding school, this one read. So this is skewed because we had so much time to be naughty. One time I ran away to the circus. Another time I stole all the linen out of the linen closet. Sorry? I'm sorry, that's not naughty.

Stealing the linen from the linen closet. Where did you put it? Yeah, but also what circus did you join? Yeah. Circus a salang. You ran away, I'd be proud of you. Yeah, surely if it was back in the day to have animals, cool animals.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, mistreated and locked up. Yeah, miserable animals. Oh, someone said my mum and I would argue so I'd go and when she planted her vegetable garden I'd rip out all the little vegetable. Oh, no, that's not. And she'd say, oh my God, the rabbits are just getting all the vegetables. That's really mean.

That's really nasty. She's probably just trying to feed your family. I know. I hope you starved. Yeah. I hope you were just. Well, they probably got non-olds. Probably got non-olds.

Probably just got. a non-all. Oh, I don't know. Because his mum didn't get any carrots. No carrots. No, mum's been like, oh, no, the carrots didn't grow. Guess we better get McDonald's? No mom says that.

I bet you there's been a couple. 100%. 100%. Okay. Play Z-M's Fleshhorn and Haley. A Canadian online has asked if New Zealanders on a whole are just bad at texting back and what's our current texting culture. Oh.

A 34-year-old female Canadian has a few friends in New Zealand. They're fairly intimate at texts and conversations are much shorter than what she's used to. I didn't think too much of it. Men of New Zealander who was 34 a male. Four months ago on vacation had a two-week fling. We decided to keep in touch. And there's talk of meeting at Hawaii later this year and a potential of a future together.

Oh, really? That's cute. At this stage, I'll say it sounds like he was telling her what she wanted to hear. I think if he wanted to, he would. He would, yeah. I just feel like. Yeah. If he wanted to. But you know what?

Just beautifully naive Canadian. I know you're so lovely. Fallen for our... But do you know what's a Lego China? She's not wrong. I reckon we are terrible texters. Yeah, I'm terrible. I'll just leave it there.

And if it's not convenient to me in that moment, it'll almost be forgotten until I go, oh my God, I didn't reply to that. You're pretty good with us, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're in constant contact. Oh, it's admin bullshit. You just can't be bothered messaging back to you.

I'll deal with that when I'm doing my admin hour later in the day. Yeah, totally. People forget. Yeah. And they don't message you back. Georgia's in, by the way. I am, I sure am. No, I am a terrible texter.

In fact, I've seen messages come through and I'm like, ah, not important. Unless we're meeting up. You know, if we're going for coffee now, yeah, I'll reply. Yeah. But I mightn't reply to the message you sent me four days ago. That wasn't involving a question. I will, at the end, I've got to make sure I've message everyone back.

And cleared your notifications. Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty good. Yeah, you're pretty good. You give you a quick, ha-ha. Oh, that's a waste of time, though. Ha-ha, ha, ha, ha. It's almost as bad as Patsy's thumbs up. I've almost just had enough of it, eh?

No, but that's just how the boomers communicate. Oh, it's terrible. You drop the biggest news on them. But I love, I love a ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I've just lost my leg and they're like, thumbs up. Thumbs up. Just been diagnosed with something terminal. Thumbs up.

They would or a K. They'd K here on that one. Where are you? I need you. I need you help. K. Thumbs up. K.

Yeah. Yeah. That's rough, eh. But yeah, I didn't know this was a cultural thing, New Zealand specific. 9-6-9-6. Are you a terrible texter? Well, they won't text, right? Well, they won't text, right?

Well, they won't. I don't let me tell me. Yeah, that was my tum-tum. That was my tun-tum-tum. Hey, guys, I reckon it was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Not for me, Vaughan. Oh, no, we're even close. No, nowhere even close.

You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, won't you give us a little review and a rating? Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.