ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 29th February 2024

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

Leap day special Washing your teeth in the showers THE RETURN OF GIRL MATH  Silly Little Poll!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Minus are born today again. The tickle continues. The tickle, the throat continues, the issues. Not COVID. Not COVID. He's tested many times. Although I think it's really bringing us a new energy to the studio i'm just hearing you speak this morning i can tell yeah just in your voice that you're sitting on something new chair energy really yeah really really a lovely thick uh navy knit It's just nice because now when I pull in my chair, I don't feel the grime underneath the... Yeah, the grime, the years and years of grime.

And someone's boogers. Someone's boogers. No boogers. Yeah, no boogers. Fresh, it's got a zip up the back. Yeah, it's nice stuff. Oh, it's lovely. I think you're just going to hear that throughout the show today.

This is what you're going to get from us. Yeah, new chair energy today. New chair energy. Soon on the show, the top six. Apple have announced that the Apple car, which has been rumoured to be in the works and kind of happening behind the scenes for like the last decade,

is apparently not happening. Not happening. So in its place, I have the top six other brands that should make a car. You know? And these business ideas will be free to these companies. Yeah. Six winning, some kind of dragon den ideas coming up soon.

I don't even want to cut. Yeah, you're welcome to steal these and go into business with one of them. Yeah. Absolutely. Soon on the show, silly little poll. Do you brush your teeth in the shower? This is a hard no from me. Really?

Yeah. Depends. Yeah. Depends. Yeah. Save it. Save it. Save your thoughts? Save my thoughts. Save your thoughts for still a little poll?

Yes. Next on the show, though. A list of New Zealand's most Instagrammable places has been released. Is this done by hashtags? Yes, but some of these I haven't been to yet. Oh. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I have the list of the top 10 Instagrammable places in New Zealand.

Now, how did they come up with this list? How many hashtags, like hashtag the studio, you know. Hashtag. Not on it, surprisingly, ZM studio. Hashtag Sky Tower. I will say Auckland, not on this list will say, Auckland, not on this list. Really? Wellington, not on this list. You, not even

on a good day. Not even the Beehive? Nah. I guess, yeah. What, the country's ugliest building? I'm just saying, people take photos of it. We've got a Beehive. We've got a Caketon. We've got it all. And you've said you haven't been to some of these places. Number 10, Delphi Sound. I haven't been. No, neither. I've been to beehive. We've got a cake tin. We've got it all. And you've said you haven't been to some of these places. Number 10, Delphi Sound.

I haven't been. No, neither. I've been to Milford Sound. See, I haven't even done Mil... Which one? Where's Delphi? Shut up. Where's Delphi?

Fiordland. Right next to it. Oh, okay. You see, I haven't done either of those two. I was going to... You haven't done Milford Sound. ...during the pandemic, but it was a bad day, so we couldn't go. No, you've got to do it on a bad day.

Because then all the waterfalls come to light. Yeah, I know. It's on my list. It's like the one place in New Zealand that I haven't been. Crazy. Okay. Number nine, Mount Cook National Park in Canterbury. Yeah.

Beautiful. Stunning. Stunning. Number eight, the tree in Wanaka. Oh, yeah. I actually have a photo of that. Do you? But I didn't hashtag it. Is there a hashtag for that? Just the tree in Wanaka. yep I actually have a photo of that Do you? But I didn't hashtag it

Is there a hashtag for that? Just the tree in Wanaka Is that on your Instagram page? We remember before the wedding And you don't hashtag it Do you remember we all went to the wedding And I think it was just a story Well you said we all went to the wedding

I didn't go to that wedding Oh you didn't go to that wedding Yeah Awkward But yeah we got a photo next to the tree Everybody gets a photo It was like heaving Like we walked to the lakeside.

Didn't the tree get damaged? Hundreds of people. As of within the last few years, it got damaged. It's still there. Just having a look. I mean, it looks manky. God, the boy travels. Look at the great Instagram snaps you've got here.

Oh no, it's not on my story. No. It was a story. It was not on my grid. Well, you didn't hashtag it. So it doesn't add to its eighth position. Okay. Number seven, Tongariro National Park.

Beautiful. I'm doing the crossing in a couple of weeks. I know you are. It's beautiful. I don't know if I've been. Do you know what I mean? Well, you've been on the mountain, right? Te Ruapehu or Whakapapa.

Yeah, I've done that. But you haven't done the crossing. I haven't done the crossing. Oh, my God. it's so good. I don't think, unless I did it when I was a kid, because I know I did our crossing as a kid. Do you remember Blue Lakes? The blue...

Not really. Because we did it on a school camp, which was absolute hell. Maybe. I'll have to get in touch with Murtitai School and see if, you know, at intermediate we... Could you put it in an official information request act? Hey, I was there in 2001

and I cannot remember if we did the crossing. I haven't been to, number six, Roy's Peak. Oh, I've done that. That is a zig-zaggy bitch of a walk. Really? But it's incredible. It's incredible.

And that is always heaving. So Roy's Peak, that's Otago as well. You've got to go super early, get the sunrise. Okay, number five. I've been here, Cathedral Cove in Coromandel. Yep, beautiful. I did snorkeling there actually at Cathedral Cove. That was good.

I saw the old snappers because it's a marine reserve. Old snappers. Yes. I was like, ooh. Or like geriatric elderly snapper. Literally. I was like, ooh, yuck, what are those fish? That's snapper. I was like, my love, I eat snapper all the time. That's elderly snapper. Literally. I was like, ew, yuck, what are those fish? They're like, that's snapper.

I was like, my love, I eat snapper all the time. That's not snapper at all. But because it's a marine reserve, they don't get fished. And so they just grow really old and they turn like black and beaten and scarred. Because we don't fish them and eat them. Like when you get old, you get those skin patches. Yeah, yeah. It's got like liver spots and like lesions and stuff.

Gross. Okay, number four is Mount Cook in Canterbury. So Mount Cook National Park is number nine, but Mount Cook, the actual Mount Cook, the actual Maunga is number four. Number three, Lake Tekapore. It's beautiful. Church of the Church Shepherd.

Last lost little land shepherd. The Stone Church. The Stone Church. Yeah. Very beautiful. Number two is Milford Sound. These are the most Instagrammable spots in New Zealand. The Stone Church. Yeah. Very beautiful. Number two is Milford Sound. These are the most Instagrammable spots in New Zealand. Buy a hashtag.

Milford Sound is one of the most breathtaking, unbelievable things I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. That is really good. You've got to go on a rainy day, though, because if you go on a beautiful day, like, the sky's nice, but if you go on a rainy day, all the waterfalls come out. Number one. So it's switched. It day, like, the sky's nice, but if you go on a rainy day, all the waterfalls come out. Yeah.

Number one. So it's switched. It's, like, changed. Number one is Hobbiton. Oh, yeah. I've never been to Hobbiton. I've never been. I've never been.

Yeah. But, I mean, the photos are so cute. I wasn't into the movies or anything, so I'm like, eh. But it would be cool to go. I like the movies as much as anyone. It would be cool to go to. But that's number one over, like, one of the most beautiful wonders of the world. But that's why people come to New Zealand for Hobbiton. I know.

For The Lord of the Rings. Anyway, if you're planning a, I was going to say summer holiday. Nearly over. Is it the last weekend of summer this weekend? Shut your stupid mouth. Nope. I think we're doing summer until April now. Okay. Shuffling it all along.

Your call. My call. Summer continues. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole, do you brush your teeth in the shower? Some people see it as a time-saving thing. There was an article recently that was advising against it, like for hygiene reasons. Because it's warm water? Warm water was not good for the teeth, but also surely like spinning like pepperminty goo down your body's not great.

No. Especially if it bloody lands somewhere on, you know. Oh, and then you get tingly bits. You get tingly bits. Mmm. Mmm. I do sometimes if I'm in a rush, like if I'm like, I gotta go somewhere, I have to have a shower, but I've also to brush my teeth.

Sometimes I'll turn the shower on and then start brushing my teeth. That might be the only time I do it too. And then you're like, quick, quick, quick. Quick, quick, quick. Yep. Totally. Like as a general thing, I don't do it. No.

Okay. We gave three options. Yes. Once or twice. No. I think that would put us into the once or twice category. I put no. 28%. yes.

29% I have once or twice. An overwhelming 42% said no. Yeah. So if you include the no and the once or twice, you're in a real minority if you're brushing your teeth in the shower every day.

Indeed. Some feedback. Sam says 100% just saves time and stops the gross toothpaste splatters on the bathroom sink. I do hate the toothpaste splatter on the mirror. Especially on the plug? Yeah. Oh, and the mirror as well. Or the tiles. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because sometimes I'm just like... I'm a messy brusher. Yeah. I'm not like... I know some people brush and they don't even have foam come out. I'm like, you've got to be aggressive. You've got to be aggressive and you've got to get the tongue going and everything. Rihanna, not...

Are you sure? Not bad girl Riri. Okay. Well, I'm not sure. It is Riri Rihanna. Okay. She says, the dentist told my mum to do it. As the water is constantly taking the plaque out of your mouth,

you aren't just moving it around. Brackets or something. That sounds like BS, Riri. Emma, it is weird, though, standing your own foamy, toothpastey spit until it goes down the plaque. Yeah. When it's, like, at your toes, you're like, that's a bit manky. But then people say that, but they also pee in the shower. Yeah. When it's like at your toes, you're like, that's a bit manky. But then people say that,

but they also pee in the shower. Yeah. And that's manky. Where does that? I mean, I say that, but I still do it. I peed in the,

I always pee in the shower and I peed in the shower yesterday and then like, as I finished, Aram like arrived to jump in the shower with me and I was like, oh yuck.

Go, go down, go down quickly. Okay. Andrew says, no, go down quickly. Okay. Andrew says, no, because I'm not gross. You effing Kiwis have some strange rituals.

Really? Why not go the whole hog and stick a feature up your ass? Okay, Andrew. What has that got to do with the price of fish? Oh, okay. Where's Andrew from?

He obviously doesn't like feed showers. You effing Kiwis have some strange rituals. Why not go the whole hog and stick a feed shower up your ass? All right, fine. Fine. Tie a string on. Sure, yeah, you don't want to lose it. Alana says, I do because I hate brushing my teeth.

Fair enough. So I try to convince myself to enjoy it in the shower, which is a relaxing place. I am a twice daily showerer, so it works out. Okay. But then what, do you have your toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower? You just get a little wall holder or something. Then it's going to get soap on it.

No, that's yuck. Hannah says, yes, need minty fresh breath for all the arguments I'm going to win while I'm showering. Okay. Mason says, no, that mint fresh feeling fooled me once. It was very unpleasant. Think that's peppermint body wash. Remember that peppermint body wash

that everyone leave froth for a while? It really tingles your bits. It does. And Jessie says, no, that's just weird, but I do floss in the shower and that's totally normal, okay? If you say so. Now you, Jessie, better not be letting that string float down the drain.

Oh, yeah. You're telling me that Jessie's flossing, wrapping it up, sticking it on the little holder for a bit and then putting it in the bin? She might have a little rubbish bin by the shower. Might have a rubbish bin in the shower. It's probably the only way.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So there's a woman who, I don't know what her name is. Buffy? That's her, like, user handle. Nah, AndroidScout21. And I'll say that because it's very, very, very, very, very, very interesting. She has been in witness protection since she was younger. Yeah.

And has like come out of it basically, like has sort of moved into a safer period because she's grown up now and has her own life. And so the people that she was protected from aren't a threat. So she can come out of witness protection. Yeah. I don't have all the details because she, she, oh my God,

people are asking so many questions about it. She, anyway, she was a kid basically. And she got put into witness protection for reasons that I won't say because it's pretty full on. But now she's an adult. She's like sharing on TikTok her experience and did like an Ask Me Anything. And everyone's like, oh my God.

So I Googled witness protection because you always hear it in movies and TV shows. Like they're like, get them into witness protection. Yeah. The gang wants them dead. They're about to testify. WITSEC is another name for it. It's run by the administered, administered, administered? Administered.

Why can't I say that word? Administered. Administered by the US Department of Justice, and it's run by the US Marshals. They reckon there are nine, since it started in the 70s, the number of people that have gone through have been, where was that number? Like 19,000? the number of people that have gone through have been, where was that number?

Like 19,000? And they reckon not a single person has ever died in witness protection. Wow. Since it started. That's pretty amazing. So the questions, like she answered a few, but then I'm in the comments of this TikTok about like, and then more people asking questions. Yeah.

Buffy is like answering them. So one of them was, one of the things she revealed is that she has a grave with a tombstone with her birth name on it, date of birth, everything. Yeah. And even an obituary.

And in the obituary, because the person she was hiding from was a family member, a key family member. Yeah. In the obituary, it was said that her and her sister had passed, sadly, in a car crash. So both kids at that age. Right. Had passed in a car crash. And they have a tombstone.

And then I scrolled down to the comments. They're like, now that you're out of witness protection and you're able to go back to your original name. Yeah. If you wanted to. Do they remove the tombstone? And she was like, no, it's still there. She literally visit her own tombstone.

Graveside. Oh my God. And she says, I actually think they sometimes reuse the tombstones and like re-engrave like new things like they just have like a series of plots. Yeah right. Around this is an America. I guess they'd just buy a plot wouldn't they? Yeah. Wouldn't that be

a fascinating job like to work for them? Oh my god yeah. And you've got to organise everything. I know. You've got to organise someone's funeral and then you've got to organise their new house, their new like... Name, identity.

That's wild. So this woman, because she was, I think she was four when she was put into witness protection. Her sister was older. She didn't know when she turned 18 because they change your date of birth. Yeah. And they change your name and everything,

your place of birth, date of birth, everything. You get a new birth certificate. So she didn't actually know when she turned 18 or whether the date on her new birth certificate was actually like how old she was. Oh, yeah. Until recently when she got her original information back. And how old was she, the same age?

Roundabout. They just like made the birthday a month off or something? Changed a little bit. Wow. She was asked by people Did the person You were in witness Prediction

From Ever find you And apparently She learnt That the person Came very Very close Because it's in the age

Of the internet Yeah yeah yeah So they keep This is my thing Like they keep them Like this is in America They keep them in America Now America's very big

I get it. You can hide, but I'm like, I'll be. You're one, like you just need to be in the background of someone's photo now with the technology we have. And people can find you. I know, all that. Did they change your birthday? Yes, they did that.

I mean, so many people are asking all these questions. And she's just like answering them. Because on the Wikipedia page for witness protection, it says the program is highly secretive in order to ensure the safety of participants. The leaking or sharing of information is taken seriously and it has resulted in prosecutions in the past. But is that when for people that are in witness protection

and someone leaks the information? Or now that she's out, she can talk about it? Yeah, I think she's said in this thing, she's like, I'm able to talk about it now. Oh, she is. So I think it's like all just done. Because you'd think they'd want to be like, shush, don't give away the secrets.

They provide quite a bit of therapy for them when they're in there. Obviously, especially being a kid, you wouldn't really know what was going on and why. I feel like this needs to be like a Netflix documentary. This? So many people are saying,

like, I want to see the documentary of this. We're down a Vaughan today. We're down a Vaughan. We're down a Jared. Down a producer Jared. He's at a wedding. We're from six to four.

You know? We're a nerd-free zone. Just the gals and Fletch. He's at a wedding. We're from six to four. You know? We're a nerd-free zone. Just the gals and Fletch. That's our group chat. No nerds. No nerds. No nerds allowed. But Shannon, you've had a hell of a morning.

I know. I'm not in a good way. Are you a bit drunk? I could have been. Yeah. I had a horrible morning. I woke up at 3.30 to a nightmare. I won't get into the details because no one cares, but it was about

looking at myself here. I want to know what the nightmare was about. I'm not lying. Taylor Swift and I were best mates and she got nervous for a performance and I was hugging her. I was like, it's fine. She threw up on me. And then I became this huge meme everywhere being like

she got thrown up on by Taylor Swift and then you guys fired me because you said it was embarrassing to work with me. It was. It was embarrassing that you had that dream, to be honest. Yeah, we would have to let you go though if that did happen. So thank God it was just a nightmare. I know. So it's 3.30.

I've woken with an alert. Like this is freaking me out. I'm blind without my contacts. I can't see at all. And so I start getting all flustered. I kick my bedside table. Foot is bleeding. Like, I don't know how it caused so much blood.

How were you? Did you get up? Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I thought you were in bed and you were just flailing around with your legs. No. No, I got up. I was like,

and I knew I wasn't going back to sleep because it would have only been 20 more minutes. I was like, just get up, babe. Yeah. Oh, I'll always grab the 20. I often wake up around the 3.30 mark and think, oh, should I just get up? And I'm like, just get up, babe. Yeah. Oh, I'll always grab the 20. I often wake up around the 3.30 mark and think, oh, should I just get up? And I'm like, no, man. Go back to sleep.

Grab the 20. No, I was all flustered because Taylor threw up on me. Yeah, because Taylor Swift did just throw up on you. And you were coming to work to get fired because of it. Yeah, so my foot's bleeding. I'm freaking out. I'm like, just take a second. My Fitbit starts tracking a workout. Yeah, good, good. I wouldn't say no, though.

Yeah, free zone minutes. But then I was like, I just need a sip of water and I see a cup of water on my bedside table. Take a sip. Nope, it's gin. It's gin. Now, why are you sleeping? Who has a glass of gin next to their bed?

Well, so I only drink gin and water. That's my drink of choice. Delish. Yeah, and so it just looks like water. Low drink of choice. Delish. Yeah, and so it just looks like water. Low calories too. Low calories. Yeah, I call it a Parliament gin, which is the fancy name, but it's literally just tap water and gin. A Parliament?

Is that name because that's what they drink in Parliament? Yeah, it was the way to make it go further around and stuff. But yeah, last night I made myself a drink and I had a few sips and I was like I don't actually feel like, you know if you have one you get a bit of a headache sometimes. I was like, I just don't feel like having a drink And I had a few sips and I was like I don't actually feel like You know if you have one you get a bit of a headache sometimes I just don't feel like having a drink

So I just left it there I was going to deal with it this afternoon But no, I just drank Looks like water Yeah, and it was warm at this point Because it was all water You've got a bloody toe And you've got a mouth full of gin

Heart rate's high You're getting fired Taylor Swift vomiting on you bloody toe. Yeah. And you've got a mouth full of gin. Heart rate's high. You're getting fired. Tell us we're vomiting on you. I know. And then I'm walking over from the car park to work, nearly stand and vomit because it was outside the casino. Oh, yeah.

And then some guy was on something and he starts yelling at us. There was a big crew of us walking over and he's yelling. And I was like, I just, I need another gin, but this time cold. Yeah. What can we do to turn your day around? Oh, you guys have been lovely this morning. We're lovely every morning. Yeah, she said that. We're lovely every morning.

Like we're not lovely every morning. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. So Apple is cancelling a decade-long effort to build an electric car, which was one of the most ambitious projects, they said, in the company's history. It would have been so sexy too.

It would have been hot. It would have been great. So this came to light, it was basically yesterday, Tuesday American time, Wednesday our time, which was surprised to I think 2,000 people that had been working on the project. They're being moved to AI. This is how much

AI is dominating and taking over the world and scaring the hell out of me. So theirs was a whole I know. We should just stop it. It's not going to be good. I mean, it's great if you've got assignments or you want to take some shortcuts at work, but otherwise, nothing good is going to come from this.

So, yeah, it's been going since 2014. It was supposed to be a self-driving vehicle. Like a Tesla, I guess. Like a Tesla. It was called the Titan or something like that. Titan? Project Titan. Okay.

They've been told, nah, we're not going ahead. It's not a viable project anymore. So I have curated the top six other brands that should make a car. Okay. Number six on the list, Stanley. Well, everybody's draped. Will I have a straw at the top? Yeah, so that's how you identify it.

It's got a really nice smooth semi-matte finish. Yeah, and pink or several colours. Pink, mint, blue, cream, peach. But in the middle is a large,

it's your aerial, but it's straw-like. And great to find your car at the Westfield car park as well. I tell you what, when you put the aircon on,

right, and then you park up, you go into the mall for a couple of hours, you come back, the car's still well. I tell you what, and when you put the air con on, right, and then you park up, you go into the mall for a couple of hours, you come back, the car's still cold. Yeah, because of the thermal insulation in the car. It's a win-win. Number five on the list of the top six

other brands that should make a car. Yeah. IKEA. Yeah. But it's flat pack. No, wait, they did. Did they actually? IKEA car.

You joke about this. I'm pretty sure a Swedish starter is making a flat pack electric car. Why does he love the flat pack? It was inspired by Ikea. But yeah, it was. And you literally buy this car and then assemble it. I wouldn't drive a car I had to assemble. That's not getting a red zone.

Absolutely not. Yeah, this is ringing a bell. But if you're going to do flat pack cars, who better to do it than Ikea? I mean, they're the number one flat pack company. Number four on the list of the top six other brands that should make a car.

Now, the Apple's not going to bother. Now, Nonald's. You see a little like burger bun wheels. Imagine how cute it would look. Yes. And the driving steering wheel is a nugget.

Yeah. Oh my, what if all the cars are shaped like one of the nugget shapes? Yes. Like, oh my God, I just got the new Nonald's car. What'd you get? I got the boot. Yeah. Oh my, no, what if all the cars are shaped like one of the nugget shapes? Yes. Like, oh my God, I just got the new Nonald's car. What'd you get? I got the boot. Yeah. Yeah, great. Oh my God, I got the bell. Oh my God, cute. Number three on the

list of the top six other brands that should make a car, Kmart. So it'll basically just be like the same car, made in the same factory, but just cheaper. Okay. So it'll be like the Stanley car. It's literally exactly the same as any car. Ford. Yep.

Honda. Yep. It's just cheaper. Audi. It's just cheaper. The top six other brands that should make a car now that Apple's not, Netflix. Okay. And you get in and it's self-driving as well.

Oh, yeah. You just chill. Netflix and chill. Okay. So it self-drives and the whole thing is like a projector screen. You just get in and you just watch your Grisaldas. If you need to beep at a pedestrian, does it go

da-dong? That'd be good. And number one on the list of the top six other brands that should make a car now that Apple's not going to bother, Glassons. Okay. I'll tell you, it's not a quality car. Okay. You'll probably use it a couple of times and it'll start coming apart at the seams. Right, the Apple's not going to bother. Glassons. Okay. I'll tell you, it's not a quality car. Okay. And you'll probably use it a couple of times

and it'll start coming apart at the seams. Right, but it's just cheap and it's fast. Yeah, but every car's like a slightly different size. The sizing's inconsistent. Yeah. But it's cheap and it'll do. Looks great. Everyone will have it for a bit

and then they'll realise that, you know. Yeah. It's probably not a long-lasting item. It's today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Now, Smell-O-Vision is apparently being invented

as a company's working on a device that you would connect to your TV like surround sound. Right, just like a Bluetooth speaker or something. Yeah, it's like a little box,

and then you would be able to install into it the movie you're watching. Yeah. And then movies would be able to create almost like a DVD-style thing, like data of the smells that you would want to have coming out of this game set. Say, for example, there was a scene in the movie where they're walking through a field of flowers. Flowers. You get some flowers.

It would be like... Yeah. And it would smell like flowers. And say, then they go home from their flowery fields and they make a cheese toasty. You've got the smell of bread, you've got the smell of cheese coming out. So you'd put a cartridge in or something for that movie,

and it would be loaded with all the smells. So it's saying with our advanced AI, audio from your movie or game is captured and analysed in real time. So no, it would be all internal, determining the most fitting scent for each scene. Now, how many smells are we getting in this thing? Yeah, it's a lot. Maybe it's like there's a base of different smells,

like perfume they could put together and be like, that's the closest to a cheese toasty we could come up with. Well, that's all the food science, all the stuff that makes you food, right? Yeah. It'd be the same kind of thing, but with smells. Audio is swiftly processed in the cloud, and then the AI, it sifts through the sound,

pinpointing key cues and events in mere seconds. This doesn't sound like it's going to work. Shannon does raise a great point. She's just messaged. Okay. What if there's a little sexy scene? What does that smell like, Shannon? Describe it for me.

That's what I want the AI to tell me. I don't know what you would do. What about like a war movie, like Saving Private Ryan? What are you going to smell? The burning dead bodies? After the tank explosion? Oh, yeah, awful. After the bridge blows up?

What are you smelling there? So it says that there are cartridges. You'd store them into this thing. What kind of fragrances are on offer? They'd have a lot of natural smells and then smells of gunfire and explosions would be popular because you'd use it for racing. I don't know about cartridges.

The printer cartridges have a bad the printer cartridges have done me bad. They're so expensive, they'd never last. I feel like this is a bit of a gimmick. So look, and then there's like cartridges and you can install them as you like. Gunfire, explosion, forest. Okay, the gunfire one would be

pretty cool. And then there would be a clean air option that would then neutralise them all for the next smell to be able to go through. I feel like there have been 4D, have you ever been to a 4D

cinema and do they blow air or squirt water at you? Do you know who does this? We're up north where the Tane Mahuta, the big code tree is. They have a museum there and you go through and they've got like a 4D experience and they squirt water on you and wind.

Is it just some guy behind the screen with a water pistol? No, no, no. It's in the chairs. I was like. Have you done, is it on the Goldie? Yeah, like at all the movie and theme parks and stuff, they have this. Yeah. When I was quite little, we went to Movie World, I think.

Oh, yeah. And there was a Shrek one. And it does, like. What are the smells of Shrek, a swamp? Well, like, at one point, donkey sneezes and you get hit with some water. Ah, that's funny. And then at one point, there's like some shaking in the seats. Anyways, we'd been to one previously the day before,

and I hadn't had a good time. So when we went to the Shrek one, I asked to sit in the pregnancy aisle. Yeah. I don't like unexpected, like I don't, when I was a kid, I didn't like that. I didn't like that I didn't know. She was 18. She frights early.

Yeah, she frights easily at 18 in the pregnancy seat because she doesn't want to get squirted by donkey snooze. I don't know if you've been following along the saga of the purchase I've been wanting to make. Now, I am making a new show this year and I had it in my head that I want to step out from behind the piano and I want to in my head that I want to step out from behind the piano and I want to buy a keytar.

Now this is for the comedy show the upcoming comedy show. I can't announce. I did a soft launch yesterday but if you missed it, you have to wait. But I don't know how to play the guitar and I was like I really want to learn how to play the guitar. It's too hard. I already know how to play

the piano. Keytar. That's the answer. That's the answer. It's a keyboard on a guitar. Yeah. My friend Shari put it in my head and was just like, you need a keytar. And I was like, do you know what? I do need a keytar. Now I looked online and I found a keytar and it's the same brand as my electric pianos. So I was like, this is great. They can all kind of link up. I understand them. But it was a bit pricey. Very, very pricey. So as a bit of a tease for 8 o'clock, we're going to bring back Girl Math for the day

because it's our bonus day today. So every purchase you make doesn't count. It's leap day. That's the Girl Math basically done. It's free, yeah. I Girl Mathed the situation. Here's how I'm working it out. One, I found it as new on Trade Me.

But. No. Shut it. Look, I listened to your advice because I found it for $400 cheaper on Trade Me. I've already saved $400. And I said a couple of days ago, I said, what did I say?

Check, ask them, message them and ask if they still have the receipt so that you could have warranty of it. Right. As new, they say. As new. Oh, they don't have the receipt. So I messaged and they don't have the receipt. But then I looked on and they're selling quite a lot of audio gear.

And I was like, so this isn't someone who's just bought it and like mucked around with it. Or stolen it out of someone's garage. They know audio stuff. So I was like, okay, it's someone who's just bought it and like mucked around with it. Or stolen it out of someone's garage. They know audio stuff. So I was like, okay, it's worth it for the $400. Okay. And then the girl said to me, look, if you buy it for $400 less, I'm already doing a girl math, it's a double girl math day.

You buy it for $400 less and it needs to be repaired. The repair probably won't cost $400. So you're still a little bit cheaper. And even if it costs $400, you're back to just purchasing the thing anyway. Yeah. We're good. Then I had an idea. This was like partly Aaron got involved. I've got two electric pianos, one I don't really use at the moment, but it's a nicer piano than the one I do use, but it has less features. So I'm temporarily going to sell that piano for the $800 it cost me to buy the new keytar.

Now the keytar's free. Instruments aren't cheap, are they? That's cheap. My upright piano was like $10,000. Oh my god, why don't you just play a piano off Spotify? Honestly, it would have been so much quicker

than learning that damn instrument. $15 in marketplace and someone else plays it. Yeah, I know. It's so much easier. Anyway, so I'm selling one and then for the price of buying the keytar, so now I'm at zero. I'm literally at zero. So it's free.

But I want the piano back that I'm selling to get the keytar because it's a good piano and I don't have my umbrella anyway. So I was like, I'm going to repurchase that new piano as well after the show is done, but

I'll make more profit from the show by having the keytar because the show will be better and more people will come that I'll make more profit and I can take some of that profit to replace the piano I sold. Right. So people have to come to this comedy show to see the guitar, the keytar,

and so that you can buy a piano at the end of it. Yes, so therefore in coming to my show, you're giving me money and more money than I think the show will make if it didn't have a keytar in it. I really feel like you're overestimating the pull of a keytar. Imagine doing this. Should we go see some comedy tonight?

Oh, yeah. What about Hayley Sprouse's show? I'm not sure. I'm not really sold on her. She's a bit much. Yeah, she's a bit much. I don't know if she's that funny. Oh, apparently she plays a keytar.

We simply must go. Keytar? Yeah. Oh, I've got to see that. Yeah. Take my money. Take my money. I'm making more money.

Are they from the 80s? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Super popular in like pop sort of synth 80s. Bands. Yeah. Okay.

So do you see more people are going to come to the show because of the Kita that I purchased. And you can play it because it's just a piano, but it's on the side. That way. Okay. See that way? That way. Okay. See that way? That way. Down. Okay. So I, by now, have bought this guitar. Now I just have to work out how to get it from Wellington

to my house in Auckland. Right. They've got these things called courier companies. I'll tell you off there how they work but it's quite cool. Tell me more. They pick it up or you drop it off and then they get it to the destination. So I don't have to drive there overnight? No.

Wow. This is going to really blow your mind. We're down a Vaughan today who's still got the throat man flu thing. But we gained James. Big hearted James has come. Done a coffee run. Thank you. Done a coffee run. Been to the gym. And you. But we gained James. Big hearted James has come. Yep, done a coffee run. Popped in, done a coffee run, been to the gym

and you're in a naughty mood and you're a dumb dumb. You've got no answers for the crossword. It's a wild day. I don't know what exile, what was exiled? Six letters. Exiled, mawkish is one. You've got a hard crossword. I don't do the dumb.

Take that out with the herald. Do the big dumb one that I got heaps in the other day. I flipped over the page to the big dumb one. You've got a hard crossword. I don't do the dumb. Take that up with the herald. Do the big dumb one that I got heaps in the other day. I flipped over the page to the big dumb one. Do they call it the big dumb one? Giant quick crossword. Giant crossword for dumb people.

Well, what is. I like that one. I'm really good at that one. You got pedestrian tunnel though. Underpass. Woo hoo hoo. He's back in the smarty box. There we go.

Now, what Shannon is a yap list? Basically, it's a way to catch people up on what's going on in your life. So the big buzzword at the moment on TikTok is the word yap. Girlies like me, we yap all day. Like a dog. This is what Shannon does. This is what her job is. She's all over the trends.

I know. She's a trendy wee gal. But this is actually something you've started. You're running a notes on your phone, a yap list. Yeah, because I'm in a long distance relationship and we kind of see each other, it changes all the time. It's hard, especially with a magician, he just disappears.

And then what do I mean to do? And he's meant, we've worked out as well that he's actually mentalised her. She doesn't even know if she loves him for proper or if he just mentalised love. I know. It's a confusing time for me. It's a power play. So he'll just disappear or he'll just turn into a rabbit.

You never know. Turn into a rabbit. And then, so you've made a list. So when he does appear and he's not a rabbit. I can just catch him up because he'll go, how was work today? And I'll go, good. Like, I don't, you know, when we call, if we can,

it's normally at night time. Yeah. That's 14 hours after work or whatever it is. Oh, I know. He's like, how's the show? I'm like, yeah, we played music and talked. I don't know. That's sort of the job.

That's the job. I made some videos. Yeah. So now what I'm doing is anytime something happens or like you guys do something or there's some gossip. What? Are we on this yep list? Yeah, you guys are on the yep list.

I don't feel so. What are we on the yep list for? What did we do? I don't know. We gave you compliments earlier. Yeah. You did say I was going at your job. I also gave her a bloody hot girl bell.

She did. Yeah, that's inappropriate as well for HR. I gave one to Carwin as well. James works in HR. He'll tell you that's inappropriate. If I ring a bell to let the producers know that they're hot, is that not good? What if I gave you one, James?

Now he's happy. He liked that. Now he's happy. Where is the boyfriend at the moment? He's in Perth, I think. He's in a box. He's sort of half. Yeah, he's sort of half and everyone was too scared to look at it.

But yeah, he's about to head off to Africa for about six weeks or something. Do they need magicians in Africa? He's on cruises. Oh, right. I thought he was going to make some giraffes disappear. Oh, where would they go? That would be good.

I'll put that on the yet list. Put it on the yet list. But basically, yeah, because we're in a long distance, we don't get to talk every day. And so when we do, this is a really nice way for me to catch up. So remember everything you want to tell her. Yeah, and because sometimes I'll be like, oh, we did a photo shoot today.

He's like, what photo shoot? And I'm like I should have told you. You know like you just feel like you're missing out on lots of things. I think I could actually employ this because Aaron asks me every day instead of just bloody listening to the show Yeah. We sleep in. He says oh what did you talk about

on radio? Or he's always like did you do anything funny? Anything funny happening? Anything fun or exciting? Three hours of it laugh out louder. We literally have laughed out loud at Aaron all morning

every morning Monday to Friday six till nine with Fletch, Will and Hayley but I can never remember a single thing we've talked about. Once we leave

it's like it's all gone and that's why I listen to the podcast on iHeartRadio. That's a good tease there. Also the season two of Sex.Life is out. Season two of Sex.Life I also listen to on iHeartRadio. That's a good tease there. Also the season two of Sex.Life is out. Season two of Sex.Life I also listened to on iHeartRadio. New episode yesterday, episode three.

But a yaplist would be good because I could remember. It is a little bit unromantic. It's kind of like bringing minutes to a meeting. That's for long term relationships. Yeah, but I love it. So yeah, get a yaplist going. Oh, a laplist would be nice. you know that's the long term relationship yeah but I love it so yeah get a lap list going oh lap list

would be nice list of laps I'd like to sit on that's a whole other thing to talk about later at a later time there's an HR person

in the room we'll stop talking about laps play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Vaughn's away and I think we've been quite naughty

who knew he was the true handbrake on this show now Shaquille O'Neal who has always been my favourite basketball player I have loved Shaquille O'Neal, who has always been my favourite basketball player. I have loved Shaquille O'Neal since I was a kid and I named my cat after him. And it was a female cat and I called it Shaq.

He has helped out a young boy, I think 16 years old, to get some shoes because he's got massive feet. Like absolutely ginormous club. Size? 23. Size? Size? 23. 23? Which, so I'm a size, this is US 23.

I'm a size US 12. Does that mean it's, does it double or is it inches? Nah, nah. What is a 12? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I don't know. How big? Can you Google that?

So this kid is, has a size 23 shoe, which I've never even heard of before. He's six foot five, 380 pounds, and a 23 size shoe, 16 years old. In America, the sizing adheres relatively closely to a formula of three times the length of the foot in inches. That doesn't help me. That feels like that belongs in the smart crossword.

I don't know. Give me the dumb, dumb crossword explanation of that. Yeah. So this went online, right, that this kid has this. And he doesn't come from a family with a lot of money, so he was struggling to find shoes. You don't walk into a shoe shop, a cheap shoe shop, and get a cheap pair of size 23 shoes.

No. You just don't. There's custom order. Or even size 12. Like, it's hard. Like, it's always, they're always out of stock. Totally. And it's always the main shoe sizes, like 9, 10s, 11s.

Yeah, exactly. 9 or 10s especially are always in stock. It's terrible for you having such a big foot. It's horrible. Other than what it means. Big socks. Big's terrible for you having such a big foot. It's horrible. Other than what it means. Big socks. Big socks. Massive socks.

Big socks. Because you always have to get the XL socks as well. You can't get a large sock. You can't get a bloody 8 to 11 sock when you're a 12. Doesn't fit. The heel will sit under the heel under the foot. But like that's not. It's very uncomfortable.

Like that's, like you'll still find a 12 and you'll still find an XL sock. That's nothing. Whereas if you've got a size 23, I mean it's like your fiancé Aaron has to shop at the big and tall store. And he's like, he's tall but he's not like tall tall, right? No, he's not Shaquille O'Neal tall.

So anyway, so this went online. They were struggling to afford to find this guy some shoes that fit. And then Entertainment Tonight got onto it and was like, hey, got in touch and said there's someone special that wants to talk to you. And that special person was Shaquille O'Neal, who himself wears a size 22 shoe. Now, Shaquille O'Neal is massive.

Big boy, tall. Is this guy tall as well, though? Yeah. Oh, okay, right. He's Aaron Tite, 6'6". Jeez. You may as well just get flippers. Shaq's like seven foot something.

Anyway, days after he met Shaquille O'Neal, three boxes full of like big, tall clothes arrived and 20 pairs of size 23 shoes. Shaquille O'Neal, such a dick. I don't want to be a dick, but if 20 pairs of shoes arrived, I'd be like, you know how the shoe fashion goes? Like, they're going to be out of fashion. Like, I don't want to be a dick, but if 20 pairs of shoes arrived, I'd be like, you know how the shoe fashion goes?

Like, they're going to be out of fashion. Like, I don't want to be a dick, but could you just send me every season like a new... Yeah, or just like, I need a loafer, I need a slip-on, I need a sneaker, I need a chuck, I need a basketball shoe.

I'll need a Birkenstock as well. I'm going to need a Birk. I'm going to need some chandles. I'm going to need some crocs and slides. Some slippers. Some slippers. I'm going to need a couple of pair of like gym shoes. I'm going to need a dress shoe, a boot I'm going to need- Some slippers. Some slippers. I'm going to need a couple of pair of gym shoes.

I'm going to need a dress shoe, a boot, a loafer. Yeah, a gum boot. How am I going to garden? Yeah. Anyway, size 23 feet. That's the biggest feet I've ever heard of. Hayley had this idea this morning that she thought would be great for the radio. Have you got a big bit?

Maybe you- Now, listen. Children in the car, okay? But maybe you have- But you mean a big bit? Maybe you... Now, listen. Children in the car, okay? But maybe you have... But you mean like big hands. Maybe you've got a big bit on you. Maybe you've got a honking nose. Maybe you've got whopping ears. Maybe you've got ginormous hands that like wrap around a basketball. Hands, it'd be hard to get gloves, right?

Because gloves, do they sell those at big and tall? You're not getting gloves on those. You're not getting gloves on those, are you? They don't sell gloves at Johnny Boots. Like garden gloves. Yeah, exactly. But maybe your hands could be too big for that. Or maybe you have this predicament where you've got giant feet

and you just really struggle to find shoes. Want to take some calls. Hang on. You're going back to the crossword. We've got an answer. What did they say? So, untruthful lying.

Oh, that was so easy. We're so dumb. We're so dumb. We're just going to go back to the dumb one. And this is a real hard one. Yeah. Oh, and which makes Neurotic hung up. Okay, let's go. So, we want to know, do you have a big bit?

0800.ZM. You can text through. Foot, leg, arm, head, beard. Well, if Vaughan was here, Vaughan's away today. Every time we go anywhere, like if we're like the luge with the helmets or the helmets for the cycling. He's not going to fit. He needs an XXXL head. He's got a big head.

He's got a big head because he's got a big brain. And he's a smart boy. And he would help us with the smart crossword. That's why we need help with the smart crossword today. 0800 DALS at Emerson number text in 9696. Have you got a big bit? Right now though, we're talking about

big bits. Do you have a big bit? Yeah, there's a boy who has size 26 shoes and Shaquille O'Neal has gifted him a whole bunch of shoes because he can't find them and afford them. And so I just want to know if you've got a big bit. And there's a lot of people struggling with the big shoes as well.

I don't know if I'll read the top one. Okay. I'm not sure, not sure, not sure. Was it what you were expecting when you raised this idea? No, other gender. Oh, okay. The dingle dangles. Let's go to Alicia.

Alicia, good morning. Morning, guys. How are you? Good, good. This is your son that you struggle to find shoes for. Yeah, he's 17 years old. He's got size 17 feet.

When he was 10, he had size 13 feet. Jeez. So to put that in perspective. So I'm 12. So when he was 10, no, what did you say? He was 10. He was size 13.

So when he was 10, he's got Aaron's size feet. Aaron's 6'6". Oh, my God. That's insane. Wait, how tall is your boy? He's 6'5 at the moment. I think he's growing about, and then he's 6'6 now. Jeez.

Alicia, does he just eat you out of house and home? He works. And we had to buy him a car. And we tried 50 cars. No joke. And he still couldn't fit in some of these cars. Yeah. So my fiance is like the same size as your son,

but he's in his 40s. He has to drive a ute, basically, because they've just got all that room. Oh, my God. And is it hard? Do you just have to get shoes online from overseas? Yeah, we went to Nike. They sold the biggest ones.

We found some here in Christchurch, but they weren't what he wanted. But they were like $300. Yeah, dude. And it's so hard if your son's into fashion and wants to look cool, but he can only buy. I will say, Alicia, to be fair to Nike and the people that make the shoes, it is double the material. Yeah, true, true, true. Alicia, thank you.

Let's go to Jules. Jules, this is Dad that has a big butt. He does. He has a very large head. Oh, okay. Big head. Like, he has trouble like Vaughn does with the helmets? He does, okay. Big head. Like, he has trouble like Vaughan does with the helmets? He does,

yeah. So we had to, like, online special order a flexi-fit can for him for Christmas. Yeah. And he still has to cut the elastic out for it to fit on his noggin. That's a noggin. That's a big head. That's a big head. Wow. We have measured it

and it's like 64 centimetres around or something. It's like a bigger than a bowling ball. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like, you just think about 60 centimetres. That's two and a bit rulers. That's two rulers. Can I ask, Jules?

Yes. My mind goes to, do you have, is this your dad? This is my dad, yeah. Do you have a big head? I do, funnily enough. I have a large head as well and hats struggle to fit. Because if I was your mum I'd be looking at your dad and being like

I don't reckon we need kids, huh? Yeah, well they've been happily married for over 37 years so we must be doing something right. She forgave them, yeah. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We've gone to the dum-dum crossword and Hayley's trying to say that a private room is an en suite. That's a bathroom.

Oh, shut up! You said that. You dick. And it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit, does it? Because a protective garment is an apron. Don't say it like you said it. Shannon got apron.

This guy trying to cash in on ours. You said ensuite is a private room. No it's not. Taking your text messages and calls we want to know if you've got a big bit. On ya. I've got a big bit on ya. We're talking about the giant shoes that Shaquille O'Neal has helped a family with. Size 23.

Now shout out to our classy listeners who have not once mentioned a willy. I'm 5'1 with. Size 23. Now shout out to our classy listeners who have not once mentioned a willy. I'm 5'1 with size 5 feet. Needless to say he came out the sunroof. Yes. Yeah, the sun. I've got very long limbs. Not too long to find clothes but I did discover that clothing

people think tall people are fatter as well. I know. So buying pants the correct length would fall off my waist when I was younger. Now I'm in my 40s and three kids later I just gained weight and the waist can fit now. Good. Yeah, fit to the clothes. Yeah.

I have a really long tongue like Gene Simmons from Kiss. I was sent this message in saying, I actually own a retail store that stocks shoes up to a size 20 and big size apparel and big size hats. Otahuhushoes.co And big size hats There you go My 16 year old son Has a size 15 shoe as well I can only order them online My pinky toe is 3 inches long

Woah That's like a finger Mine's like a little nub Because I have really My second and third toes are really long. Yeah. They're like longer than my toe. A little bit.

And then when I'm in my birks, sometimes they're just like over the edge of them at the top. My pinky toe, I've been told that's massive. Someone said my friend, in quotation marks, had some big dingle dangle bits down below. Okay. But then she got them trimmed before she got old and tripped them up. Tripped up on them. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Girl Mass. Girl Mass. Girl Mass. Girl Mass. It's back, baby. And it's back because you figured today, and you've already justified some shopping. Yeah, my own keytar this morning.

Yeah, I bought a keytar and it cost me basically nothing. Because today's a leap day. So, you know, you look back at the bank balance or the statement and you're like, what's the 29th? 29th of February. That doesn't exist. 30 days have September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, except for February, which is 28.

That's how the rhyme goes. Yeah, we wanted to do Girl Math because nothing counts today. And we have a few, I think, oh, welcome back, Girl Math girlies, Shannon and Karwin. Hello, hello. Nice of you to show up to work today. We're dropping like flies. We have some people to talk to. Now, Crystal or Christelle?

Crystal? Crystal. Crystal, welcome to the show. Hello. Welcome to Girl Math. What are you wanting to purchase? So, they are the Camilla and Mark Chicago pants, and they are worth $420.

Jesus. Turn the mic off. I knew you were going to do this. For pants. like Archer cargo pants, and they are worth $420. Jesus! Turn the mic off. I knew you were going to do this. For pants. Camilla and Mark. I know Vaughn's not here today, but I feel like I've got to be aghast for both of us. Oh, shut up.

Are they jeans? You said cargo pants. Cargo pants. They're not going to last. At least jeans last. Yes, they will, and there's four pockets. Divide by four, starting off strong. Wait, you're dividing by four?

So it's actually $110 basically. With all these pockets. With all these pockets, you're taking off the cost of handbags. We already know that we've done a Diddly Ponies handbag. That was $1,000. You're already in the green for that. Yeah, now you're talking.

Also, their pants. You can wear them so many different ways, like so many different tops, going out, going to work, going for a run. Can you run in cargo pants, maybe? Of course you can. Yeah. You can put your iPod Mini in the pocket.

I mean, the army do use them. Yeah. And they run. Oh, my God. See, this could even get you a job, Crystal, because you could join the army in these as well. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I would definitely run in them.

Camilla and Mark cargo pants. You would be the most fashionable, Quayne, if you were to run in these. He's trying to look at them. I'll show him showing you. They're very fashionable. Wait, what are they made out of? I'm thinking like cargo, like guys cargo pants that are at least like, they look real

soft. Soft feminine version of them. And I've already tried them on three times so I've pretty much already got three years out of them. Yeah, survive by three. She wants them. Look, you're getting how many, we've got a running pant, we've got an army pant for

when you join the military. You've got a casual pant, you've got an army pant for when you join the military. You've got a casual pant. You've got a dressing pant. You've got a hiking pant. Yes. And so that's five. So we're dividing that by five. So we're already like under $100. And the pockets. Plus we're removing

$1,000 because you're not buying a Deadly Ponies handbag instead. So actually you're making money. Oh and it's a leap day. And it's a leap day, so it doesn't even matter. Everything's basically free. Get the pants, babe. Oh, I need to go get them today.

Yes. Get the pants. Oh, there you go. Well, that was too easy. Crystal, thank you. Let's go to Tia. Good morning, Tia. Morning.

Hi, guys. Hi. Welcome to Girl Math. Welcome, welcome, welcome. What do you want to spend your money on today? So I've actually already spent it, and now I'm just wanting to justify it. It's a gel manicure kit from Jell-O.

Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, so with the lamp and everything and the colours, it's about $240. Now, hang on. Shut your mouth, Fletch. Shut your mouth, because he thinks that's expensive. Girls and women spend so much money on things. Now, Carwyn, we'll start with you because

producer, I get my nails done by someone and that, you know, costs X amount each time, but Carwyn is someone who does her own gel nails with a kit like this. Wait, can we just go back to X amount of times? You said it cost me X amount of times. Look, I get mine

done for free, but that's because I'm a woman in the media. However, usually it would cost up to $100 to get gel nails. Yeah, especially with nail art. Yeah, and I get mine done every three weeks. So, every three weeks you'd be spending $100.

She's already paid for it. She's already paid for it. Yeah, I have a gel kit at home. I do mine every, like, two to three weeks, but the fun of it is's already paid for it. Anyway. Yeah, I have a gel kit at home. I do mine every like two to three weeks. But the fun of it is that you can do it more times. Like you can change your nails more often because you're not worried about the price. You've already got them. And then buying extra polishes to expand your collection. Mine is fast.

It's like so much cheaper than going to get your nails done again. Yeah, but you get more than one manicure out of the bottle, right? Exactly. You're actually saving so much money. than go and get your nails done again. Yeah, but you get more than one manicure out of the bottle, right? Exactly, exactly. You're actually saving so much money. Does your husband have a... Do you have a partner who has a problem with his purchase? No, he doesn't. He's fine with it.

Oh, mate. It's like, look at me. Yeah. It doesn't need any justification. Also, it's sleep day. Everything's basically free. It doesn't matter. Plus, every time I use it, I'm saving that money.

You are saving so much money. Exactly. And I've already used it once, so the cost is about $150 now, I'm saving that money. You are saving so much money. Exactly. And I've already used it once, so the cost is about $150 now, I think. Perfect. Every time it gets divided. And just think, every time you look at your nails, it's like going to an art gallery for free. It's a stretch.

Every time I look at my hand, I'm making money. It's essentially like going to the museum. Exactly. For free, constantly, hundreds of times a day. Wow. There you go. It's like having a little lube on your... Ten mini lubes on your hand.

On your hands. I think this is a valid purchase that you've made here. Thank you, Tia. Some messages in for Girl Math. No, someone just texted and saying, I've got morning sickness and I missed the five second game.

Did I get one? No. $12,000 jackpot at four o'clock today. Four o'clock. Four o'clock. Can you Girl Math the trampoline

I bought for my kids? My husband says they don't use it enough. I mean, break it down per bounce. Per bounce. And then double bounces. Oh, that's doubling. Oh, yeah. So you're. Per bounce. And then double bounces. Oh, that's doubling.

Oh, yeah. So you're quartering it. Oh, my God. Just get your kids to bounce on it for however long they want to play on it. Divide the cost of the trampoline. What do they cost? I think like 500 to a grand. 500 bucks, yeah.

If you do a flip, I reckon you get like four times off because that's cool. It's cool. It's creative. It's social. It's good points. Your kids could turn into gymnasts. They could go to the Olympics. Yes. Earn national pride. Someone said

and what is the price on national pride? Priceless. It's basically free. Exactly. Buying eyelash serums so I can have naturally long lashes. How much is a set of eyelash extensions? So much. And like the glue you'll have to get if you get falsies and put them on out no way you're not having to buy mascara yeah oh my god

this is easy can you boy math buying a box of okay i just read a box of what condoms oh okay no baby i mean that's an easy one to do Yeah, you're saving a million dollars not having a child. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Okay, I am taking over fact of the day. I'm the captain now.

In Vaughan's absence. In Vaughan's absence. He's just got a throat tickle. Today, this week is all bad parents of the animal kingdom week. Yes. And today we are looking at the burying beetle. Now, I just want to see a photo of the burying beetle because I don't have a problem with beetles really.

Oh, pretty. Beetles are always really pretty. It's like a black and red. It's a bit jaggedy for me. It is quite jaggedy. It's a bit jaggedy. But the reason why the burying Beetle finds itself on the bad parent list is because how the Bearing Beetle feeds its young

is it lives on larvae that they will find in mouse carcasses, right? So they go and get the larvae, like the maggots and stuff, and then the beetle eats it, eats up all the maggots and then it goes back to its little burying hole and it spews it into the mouths of its offspring. However... Have they tried like a Hello Fresh plan or something? I don't know.

Go to the fruit and veg market. Get some McDonald's. So much better and yummier So they spew the maggot regurgitation Into the baby beetle's mouth But there's never enough to go around Compared to how many little baby beetles they give birth to So the ones that get the mum's attention first

They get the food The cute ones Cute ones from the mum's mouth. Then the rest of them are like, me now. And the mum's like, nah, I'm out. You're far go. You're far go. Sorry about that.

Then the mum eats them instead and then spews them into the siblings' mouths. What? Okay, I didn't see. I just thought she was just going to let them starve. No, no, no. She eats them. She eats them. She's like, you're not developing fast enough

or you're the weak runt of the litter. That's right. Not only am I not going to feed you, you're getting eaten because it's a waste of food just to let you die. I'll eat you and then I'll feed your siblings. A little bit more. And there's other other siblings like

what happened to little Timmy my brother this tastes different to the maggots shut up and eat your food eat your food or there's no pudding who's putting it's Sam you're gonna eat Sam and that's the pudding but you're not getting any if you don't already finish until you eat Timmy so today's fact of the day is that if you, I'm always bad at the summary, is that the bearing beetle feeds as many of its kids as it can and the ones it can't feed, it eats it and then regurgitates it into the siblings' mouths.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Day, day, day, day're not. In relationships, I never have like trust issues or jealousy or anything like that. I don't know why I've never been. But there is a woman who is honestly just absurd. She does not, she's so jealous and always like, who are you talking to? Who's that? That she makes her husband take a lie detector test every single day, every time he comes home.

I thought it was every day. Now, without comment, just look at the couple. That's just for you. Imagine there's like some trashy British reality show or some American reality show from the middle of nowhere

in the country. That's what they look like. Yeah. So she went on a TV show to try to like, you know, get through this and be like, this is my problem. And then it was revealed that she'd indeed gone out and bought a lie detector test and makes him take it every time he comes home. Is it, where do you buy a lie detector machine from?

Like eBay or something? I don't even know. Yeah, probably eBay. And also, aren't they at the best of times not the greatest? Like, shouldn't they be done by a professional and even then the science is a bit shaky on them? Yeah, shouldn't they be done by a professional and even then the science is a bit shaky on them? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Look, I've never

taken one but I wouldn't want to either in case someone asks something rude. But it's not the only thing she does. She restricts what he's allowed to watch on TV just in case there's like a hot woman on there. She said once I saw him, he was watching an advert for women's razors and there was an attractive

model on there and he was eyeing her up. The only thing that would put my mind at rest, he can't even, where's he going to find this model, was banning him from watching any programs that have women in them. You've got to get out. You've got to get out. That is so toxic it's not even funny. Yes. And the fact

that like some TV show got them on, that's bad. I know. I know. That's bad. For me, I don't think we'll ever find anything as wild as this. But I want to know what is the most jealous act. Jealous?

Jealous act that you've come across. You can admit to doing it yourself if you want, anonymously or not. But maybe you've been with someone in the past that they went through your phone or you had to give them your password, your PIN number Yeah, because I've never experienced this myself but I know of it It's such a turn off eh? It's instant get out of there eh?

Yeah I know, especially I like to run free You don't like to be held down Yeah well I like to sort of mitigate any like to run free and run. You don't like to be held down, pinned down. Yeah, well, I like to sort of mitigate any jealousy issues just by being upfront about the fact that I've got a fear burning inside of me, brewing inside of me. You've even told your fiance.

I let Aaron know that that might be on the cards and it removes any kind of jealousy he might feel if he sees me with another man. Yeah. Because he's like, well, you did tell me. You did tell me you felt an affair brewing. Brewing in me? I want a silly car and an affair.

Anyway, that's what I want to know. What is the most jealous act that someone's done? Maybe it's not even in a relationship. Could be like a friend was jealous of you. And sabotaged you. Cut your hair off because you had nice hair and she had thin hair or something. Okay, 0800DARLSATM.

You can text through 9696. What is the most jealous act you've ever encountered? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This is from one of those trashy reality shows, This News, that a woman makes her husband take a lie detector test that she brought online every day. I looked.

You can get like real cheap budget looking polyographs for like a couple of hundred dollars. Really? Not the proper ones. But whether they actually work or not, I'd probably say not. But yeah, we want to know this morning

and we're getting some wild messages in. I know. We probably should have called this phone in topic. Tell us your ex's toxic behaviour. Truly. My boyfriend at the time followed me when I went to visit

a friend at her house. He denies it to this date, but I recognised his car. Anonymous. What did an ex do? Hello. So you guys might be aware of, it's like an app,

you know, like a tile. So you put it to your keys so your phone can... Yeah. But unbeknown to me, my ex put this tile in my handbag for a few months.

That is such an invasion of your privacy. So they're like AirTags. Now, I don't know, because I know AirTags, Apple had to change the whole way they did AirTags because of this very thing, stalking. Oh, because people were doing it to strangers. And so now if you've got, if you're like, for example, I'm in my friend's car, he's got one in his car. My phone will be like, beep, beep, you're near an air tag. Yeah. And it's tracked you and it shows you the map

and then it shows you the last couple of digits of the phone number. So it can be safer. And so you can be like, take me away from this tracking device, that kind of thing. So you can opt out of it. How did you discover the air tags? You went through your bag and went, what's that? Oh, sorry, the tile.

The tile. Yeah, it was about three months later. I was really concerned because he seemed to kind of know where I was when I'd come home from work. And it was just like I'd go to the supermarket or I'd go see a friend or I'd go. And he seemed to know. And then about three months later, I found the tile. And I knew what a tile was. Yeah.

But it was, you know, it's not made to track a person so it's not always, you know, correct. Yeah. Yeah, every time I'd come home he'd accuse me of being somewhere I actually wasn't or a street that I actually wasn't on. That's really, it's psycho, eh? You did clarify this is your ex, right?

Yes, my ex. Oh! Was that what caused you to end the relationship? You were like, you can't be tracking me. There was quite a few things, but yes, that was one of the, yeah, but what I found really interesting

talking to the police and things, it's not illegal. So there's actually no law in New Zealand that you can't do that, which is quite scary. That's the problem,

the laws take a while to catch up with the technology, don't they? Yeah, for sure. I mean, that should be somehow, under some kind of law, that should be somehow, under some kind of law, that should be illegal, right?

Yeah, it is a form of... Yeah, stalking. Yeah, stalking and lying against your knowledge. It's bizarre. Anonymous, thank you for sharing. Emily, what did your ex do? So...

What didn't he do? That's the better question. Um, so... Ha-ha! What didn't he do? That's the better question. Right, OK. What was one of his jealous behaviours? So, at three in the morning, I woke up to him going through my phone. Had he used your sleeping face to unlock it or did he know your four-digit PIN?

I think he knew my four digit pin. At the time, it was my pin for like everything. Oh, yes. You know, whatever. You were like, just take my card

and get some trumpets from the dairy. It's always a trick. Get me a Memphis meltdown. Yeah. And he was like, oh, like, why were you messaging

with your best friend at two o'clock in the morning? Because she's my best friend, mate. And I was awake. My best friend, mate. And I was awake. My best friend, he is a boy. Right. But quite frankly, every man I've ever spoken to, whenever people see him, they're like,

is that your dad? Oh. He's just like, he looks old. Yeah. He's 25 and he looks at least 45. Okay. And I was like, because we were, I was like, if he's awake and I'm awake, sure, we message. He's like, well, you went out with him the other day and your Snap Maps weren't on.

And I was like, no, because I hadn't gone on Snapchat. Because if you go, like, if you're off Snapchat for like eight hours or something, it turns itself off anyway. Yeah. Yeah. And he'd be like, oh, well, what were you doing at three o'clock in the morning on this day? And I'm like, sleeping. Oh, and were you like, you're my ex now. No, no, he kicked me out at 4 in the morning.

What? Because of these messages. I read these messages to my sister, my friends, my mum and dad, these messages that he was talking about. What in these is bad? Is anything. I know. Also, the way you talk

to your friend is so different to the way that you would talk to anyone you were like flirting with. Yeah. That probably ended for the best then

even though it was four in the morning. Oh yeah, he like kicked me out and he's still, I'm mad he's got like my track pants and I still see him like wearing the stuff

I gave him. I'm like, I left it here. Oh, my track pants back. I want my track pants back. We are asking for the jealous behaviours you've encountered because there's a woman in the UK who makes her husband take a lie detector test every single day.

That's a... Get out of that relationship immediately. In fact, so many of these text messages, there's some really toxic behaviours. What, like my ex-partner was so obsessed she sniffed my undies after I get home from work? Yep. Is that toxic behaviour, is it? What? Like my ex-partner was so obsessed, she sniffed my undies after I get home from work. Yeah. Is that toxic behaviour, is it?

I think it is, yeah. But I can see why, like, obviously people have been hurt in the past, right? Oh, absolutely. Like, you get betrayed and then you're on, you've got your guard up. And then it just takes one person getting home late from work and they're like, oh, they're cheating on me.

Yeah, my ex-girlfriend cut my landline cord because I was on the phone to a female bank manager. Her reason was the bank manager sounded hotter than her. Who's still got a landline? I'm just trying to transfer money. Or was this a story from the 2000s? Yeah, maybe it's an old story. Kate, what was the jealous ex-behaviour?

Hi. So I wasn't allowed to wear short skirts or singlet pots, anything like that. Because he thought that people would be looking at you. Because you've got the hot guns and the hot legs. You've got legs for days. Hot legs and hot guns, yeah. Yeah, I was like a competitive swimmer and a gym, X gymnast.

Great shoulders. Great shoulders. Great shoulders. Beautiful quads on you. Yeah, I love this. Yeah, it was too much skin. So was he just like, we're a full burka then? Yeah, cover your right up. Yeah, he was like a surfer

and we're just normal Kiwi people. And I love a jean skirt and a singlet or jean shorts and a singlet. Who doesn't love a jean skirt and a singlet or jean shorts and a singlet. Who doesn't love a jean skirt and a singlet babe? Yeah and then for some reason I don't know what this was about. Whenever I had my hair tied up we'd be driving somewhere he'd rip my hair out and say

I had to have my hair down. It always had to be down when we were out in public and when his mates came over I had to stay inside. He didn't want me hanging around them. Okay. Are you free and in a better relationship or happy now? I've been, yeah, I'm married and been with my husband for years.

And he's a good man? Yes. That makes me very happy. Thank you. Happy ending. happy ending there. Thank you, Kate. Sometimes you've got to have some absolute turds, don't you, until you meet a prince.

Thank you, Kate. Some messages in to finish. There was a girl who came over to my flat years ago and came in with a bottle of bleach and poured it into my flatmate drawers and ruined her entire wardrobe of clothes because she was jealous of her. Bleach on clothes.

Oh my God. I read this in my undies 1A. We don't need to read that again. You did, yes. The other day we were getting food and the missus and the girl serving us were very bubbly. Immediately though, the missus' dark side comes out after we left and I asked her what's up.

She said, oh, why don't you just give me a number to the waitress then? If you're getting on so well. Yeah, that's all right. Oh, my old friend was a hairdresser and she turned my hair blue when she was dying it blonde. She was threatened by every woman around her. So she was sabotaging my hair.

You're going to go out of business if you keep doing that. Yeah. My two friends got jealous of me at a party, so they got three girls to try and beat me up. I beat them up and ended up in the cells, so. That backfires. Okay, people need to calm down.

People need to take a breath. Wow. My friend stopped talking to me recently because I didn't park by her when we dropped our kids off to school. It's been four weeks and she still hasn't said a word to me. I'm going to give you a big fat grow up. Have a great rest of your day.