ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 29th January 2025

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

Dave Franco as Luigi Skims Undies Top 6 Robot vs Humans Games China should host Sexiest professions SLP - What do you use for your alarm? Katy Perry announced a tour Shannon's Hack Is Tixel a scam for reselling tickets? Who still owes you money? Hayley's Songversations Quarter life crises second piercing Fact of the Day What did you tell your partner to keep them happy?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Fawn and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn Rudkin, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Morn and Hayley. I think we should do first and last names. You know, from now on, it's a sign of respect. Thank you Bryn Rudkin.

Thank you Bryn Rudkin. And thank you Carl Fletcher. Now, you've been working on something. I have been working on something. God, that gave me a fright because I have also been working on something else that I said I was going to tell you guys, but in time. How wild. In time.

Hayley said to us this morning, to Vaughan and I, that you're working on a secret project. Yeah, I am working on a secret project. And you're not allowed to tell us. It's not that I'm not allowed. I'm just trying to get all my ducks in line before I tell you. Right. Only one other person in the world knows that this is happening.

Wow. Okay. Well, after 8 o'clock this morning, you've got a brand new segment on the show. Yeah, I think so. And I've actually put a bit of work into it. Okay. I've put a bit of a spin on it. We've received some correspondence.

I'll just start there. We've received some correspondence from one of our listeners. I was reading it. I was like, this is outlandish. This is so frustrating. So stupid. And it sparked an idea in me. Okay, well after 8 o'clock this morning, the top six

is on the way. China has announced the very first human versus robot foot race. They're going to host it. Foot race? Like a running race. Surely humans will win. Robots are so clunky.

It used to be we'd smoke them at chess. Yeah. And then pretty quickly they got real good at chess. And so, I've got the top six other human versus robot competitions that China should host.

Next on the show though, Dave Franco has said, I am aware you are all requesting me for this role. Because I know I look like him. It's undeniable. He must have been really good. Could be the role of a lifetime. Yeah. Tell you what it is next.

Dave Franco, younger brother of James Franco. Where are we at with James Franco? Either still cancelled or come back. For some godforsaken reason, I read his book years ago. It was like actor something about acting. Right. It was years ago to the point that I read some of it going, oh, that's a crazy story. And now I'd be like, that's so problematic. Right. It was years ago to the point that I read some of it going, oh, that's a crazy story.

And now I'd be like, that's so problematic. Right. That's really awful behaviour. Right. I'm seeing a Vanity Fair article from October last year. Lad Bible had a story a month ago. James Franco addressed the impact his controversy and silence had on his brother Dave and Seth Rogen.

Okay. Well, Dave Franco, as far as I know. All good. The better Franco? The better Franco. Currently the better Franco. Yeah. He has been at the Sundance Film Festival.

Cute. And he was asked if he knew that everyone said he looked like Luigi Maggioni. Is that my son there? Yeah, the healthcare shooter. that everyone said he looked like Luigi Maggioni. Am I saying that right? Yeah, the healthcare shooter. The healthcare CEO shooter who last year shot the CEO of an insurance company, a healthcare insurance company. And just kicked off that whole internet fanfare.

Fascination about him. Where are we at with that too? He's locked up. It's a waiting trial, right? That's going to be a while in the making. It was such a weird thing because like, no one should murder anyone, regardless of the person and their shortcomings.

And then we shouldn't make it A-OK because the shooter is stereotypically attractive. We live in now that it's OK because these insurance companies in America are ripping people off. That's what somebody else said. Him turning down health insurance led to thousands of deaths. No, but it's not life for

life, is it? I don't. It's a whole thing. I'm just like... We're actually just here to laugh out loud. Not politics out harder. Dave Franco said he said, I've never received more texts in my life about anything. Anyone who has my phone number reached out and said,

holy shit, dude, you look so much like the guy that just shot that CEO of that Alvkey company. His wife said, when she was asked, said, they haven't made any official offers. And he said, no, no, no, no, no official offers. Yeah. But they are very, he is very well aware that people want him to.

Oh, it's happening. Oh, that's going to be a Netflix series. For sure. Right? Once they get more. Can they make one when it's still under trial? No, you probably need the. Because it would, if they tell his backstory,

which we're still 100% on, right? We know little bits of it. Yeah, like he grew up quite wealthy and then had back issues. Yeah. Yeah, wealthy and beautiful. Yeah, wealthy and beautiful. But who's the guy that makes all the true, Ryan Murphy?

Yes. Does American true crime. What was it? He did the one on... You're thinking of Glee. No, he did Glee, but he did those other ones. You love Glee.

You've got all the DVDs on box set. You know I hate Glee. I never hang out with Fletch without having to listen to at least two to three Glee songs. Watch this. Don't stop. Oh, he's getting better at it.

Did you see that vein in his neck go? I want to believe it. Anytime I put on a song, let's sidebar. Anytime I put on a song that I like, I'm like, check out this song. It's an old school song. I love this. He's like, have you heard the Glee version? It's way better. Anytime I put on a song that I like, I'm like, check out this song. This old school song. I love this. He's like, have you heard the Glee version?

It's way better. Season three, episode nine. Yeah, and then he puts it on. Oh, here we are. Glee. All the stars from Glee. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. I think Skims, which is Kim Kardashian's underwear line,

is actually genuinely a very good brand. They always have great undies. Have you ever owned any? I have once had a bodysuit, I think. Yeah. Like just one of their little leotard things.

Slide in the legs and then you pull it up over your shoulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then all women are like, I love my bodysuit. And then you go somewhere and they're like, going wheeze out of my bodysuit is the worst thing in the world. So why did you wear one? Because I look beautiful.

Because it makes me look half my size. Because I'm beautiful. Well, she does, and I think she does really cool collections. Like, she does these huge, and she gets the best models, you know, like the who's who yeah at that time she's released a um valentine's day capsule collection right and it's all like it's all little hearts and little kisses and pinks and reds and stuff like that but there's one item that i would like to discuss okay it's a pair of underwear that, okay, so, okay. Okay, it's a set.

I'll start at the top. There's a little bralette, like a little camisole, and in the middle of the bow that will cover your boobies is a little cutout heart. Cute. Little peep, peepity-do. That could be good for summer for air. A bit of air.

Really good for airflow. Terrible tan line. Or cute. Do you know what I mean? Depending. Then for the undies, right upon the mons pubis. I'm just using the medical term. I forget he's not a doctor.

The mound. The mound. There is a heart cut out that right where if you were to have pubic hair, right where that would be. You'd see it.

Now, the model modelling these undies has none, so it's like a little cute heart cutout. My question is, if you did have hair down there, isn't it just going to sort of like tuft? Isn't it just going to sort of tuft through? Producer Shannon said it would be like, if you guys have ever seen that, oh, you don't have kids, but you may have seen a book you give a baby,

and it's got all the different textures. It's like, that's not my dog. It's too hairy. And there's a thing and you touch it. And you touch it, one's crinkly. Yeah, and it's like, that's not my dog. It doesn't have any hair. And then you touch the edge, and it's shiny and smooth.

And then you're like, that's my dog. The hair's just right. That's like, it would protrude. Yeah. Protrude out of this little cutout. That's, that's like, it would protrude. Yeah. Protrude out of this little cut out. That's not my girlfriend. That's not my girlfriend. Those are ginger pubes.

Right, yeah. These ones are coarse. That's not my girlfriend. It's one of those like, she makes, she's very, Skims itself is a very body inclusive brand. Like they've got so many size things

and colour things and it's great. But this is definitely just for one type of person, I reckon. Right. Actually, I'm actually surprised. It's so rude. I'm surprised work let me on it. Really? Yeah. Sometimes when I'm at work on the work Wi-Fi

and I've tried to look up like Jockey. Jockey's having a sale or something. It's like, no, no. Because of undies? Don't look at panties on the company dam. Really? Yeah, and now I'm here on skims with a cutout. I'm not an underwear engineer, but I would have thought that that heart there

would have been structurally... Structurally, I'm questioning it. Thick. Yeah, it's thick, Ian. If you're not the size of that model, that heart is going to look like a jelly bean. Yeah, you wouldn't want to buy a size too small because you're stretching it along your hips and it would warp the shape of the heart.

But yes, the heart does have- Nip your pubes, like keep it on one half, shave them off on the other. They look pretty cool. What do you mean? Half a heart. Like yin and yang. Yeah. Like a Cadbury top deck.

Half white chocolate, half dark chocolate. It sort of feels strange tufting yang. Yeah. Like a Cadbury top deck. Half white chocolate, half dark chocolate. It sort of feels strange tufting out. Yeah. Would you wear those at the gym? You wouldn't want people seeing them, would you? No, no, no. They're primarily for the precursor lovemaking. I'd be there for the boudoir.

They're for Valentine's Day. Yeah. Well, there you go, Skims. Although, have they sold out already? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Every single colour. They already uh yeah yeah there you go every single color they've got white pink and black every single size from xxs to 5xl gold play zms fletchborn and hayley from your local community facebook page this is the top six hello there china will Hello there. China will host a robot versus human running race.

Foot race. Over 100 metres. Why are we doing this to ourselves? AI and this. I know. Oh, so who are we putting forward? Do we want to be number two? Usain?

Surely. No, I actually don't know. No, I don't think so. I think it was just Chinese athletes. Oh, okay. Well, at least they'll be on drugs. So that probably... Yeah, heavily doped.

Yeah, he's doped up to the wazzes. And they won't test afterwards, so it'll be fine. No, God, no. Even if... Surely if he's allowed... If the robot... He?

I don't know why I've made the robot a he. No, it felt like a he. It's got masculine energy. Yeah, but you could say non-binary code. Because of robot programming. So dozens of humanoid robots are expected to join this 13-mile, so 21 to half a marathon. 12,000 humans will be involved to race robots

from more than 20 companies in the Beijing Economic Technological Development Area, also known as E-Town. 12,000. Yeah, so basically the tracks are a mess. They're joining the half marathon. Let's really make this go

a little bit cross-country, this race. We can chuck some speed bumps, some gutters. You've got to run up the gutters. Water puddles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Branches.

See how good they are. Step over that, mate. Why are we stopping there? I think we humans, they're going to pass us in running, so we need to hold some other competitions. Okay. Number six on the list of the top six

other robot versus human games that China should host. The silent treatment games. See whose silent treatment can last longer. Robots might be, I reckon it'll just break them before it broke a stubborn woman. 100%. I will represent New Zealand.

Enter the fourth day, the robot will be like, are we still playing? You lose. And the woman just looks at him and is just like, gotcha. Amateur. I'll take that as an apology. Top six other robot versus human games that China needs to host.

Kissing competition's in at number five. Oh, yeah. So I don't know, are they yeah. So I don't know. Are they there yet? I don't know. With the smooching. They might be a bit teethy. Yeah.

Yeah. Too forceful. Not enough softness. Mind you, there's some terrible human kisses. Yeah. Oh, yeah. True. Absolute shockers.

Yeah. I don't remember what bad kissing was like. It's been so long. R.I.P. But I remember the old tongue. The old tooth bang. Yeah. Tooth bang and tongue. You bang your teeth together and be like. Number four on so long. R.I.P. But I remember the old tooth bang. Yeah, tooth bang and tongue.

Number four on the list of the top six other robot versus human games that China needs to host I reckon we'd have this one hot dog eating competitions in a number four. Yeah, humans are good at that.

Yeah, send in old Joey Chestnut. He'd be able to gobble them hot dogs. And the robot can't digest it so technically that's cheating. Oh, yeah, true. It's kind of unfair.

Yeah, it would go all. My problem is all of these things I'm suggesting that humans are still better at would encourage robotic engineers to be like, we should make a robot that can digest hot dogs and wrap it around. Number three on the list of the top sex robot versus human games that China needs to host, culture competitions. Yeah, okay. Who's got the rich and most beautiful culture?

Yeah. Maybe not white people sent. We're a bit light on the ground. But, like, send in some beautiful cultures from around the world. What's a robot's culture? Yeah, true. We'll get a kapa haka group in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll get some, like, hula dancers. Yeah. You know, the jumping dragons. Yeah, love it. What's your culture? Top six other robot versus human games that China needs to host in at number two is the fashion parade. Oh, yeah. I'm yet to see a robot that's quite as sexy as a fashion model.

Yeah. Ah! Oh! Oh, my God. Some confetti that has been on the ceiling since... Oh, my God. Some confetti that has been on the ceiling since... Oh my God. I don't know, like a year and a half, two years ago? Eight secret sounds ago?

So many secret sounds ago that got wedged in our removable ceiling panel tiles for no reason whatsoever just finally fell. That made me sweaty. I didn't know what it was. Oh, I jumped. I don't know what it was. I felt like it was a bird or a big bug or a rat.

Yeah, a huge bug. Or a robot sent from China to kill us all. Yeah, that's bad mouth. Radio, it's live. It's live. It's happening now. That's what's happening. It's live.

And that worked me up. Oh, I'm sweating. That gave me such a fright. It actually kind of ties in nicely to number one on the list of the top six robot versus human games that China needs to host. Number one is the 2am existential panic attack game. I also will represent New Zealand. Yeah, let's see

if robots can wake themselves up with a stupid thought about something they did years ago and the repercussions that might be still following through in their life now and then not be able to sleep again even though they've got to get up

at 4.30 in the morning for work and they're going to have to go and they're going to be super tired and then later on in the day they're going to try to nap and they're not going to be able to because they're still existentially panicking

about the panic attack that the work of us are doing. And the winner is Fawn Smith! Take that robots. That's today's Sub 6. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Yesterday we discussed the professions not to marry. According to a divorce lawyer it was basically it was like

military, police, medical. Pilots. Pilots and firefighters. Yeah. Great memory, boys. Thank you. And a lot of them good uniforms.

Great uniforms. Positions of power. Hmm. And then the divorce lawyer was saying the position of power thing is the main reason not to marry them because it's a bit of an ego thing, a bit of a God complex. Now, we didn't stand by that. We were just sharing the information. And people were messaging us their suggestions of, you know, not to marry.

What I found, I'm trying to balance it. What if a positive spin? Because I feel like particularly some of those medical professionals got a hard rap. So I have the sexiest careers of 2025 based on some research done by a bunch of dating apps. Okay. Ask the users like, when you think about a job. This is what people love on the dating apps

before they see that divorce lawyer. This is what I was going to say. Who says you shouldn't have listened to me. Sexiest and like should marry them. They're different. Different. Yeah. Now the list gives me eight.

Okay. That annoys me. I wish it was five or ten. Now, is radio announcer, radio broadcaster on the list? Wow. Just you wait. Okay. Sexiest careers of 2025.

It's not, is it? They're kind of in categories rather than specific jobs. Okay. So, an eight is finance. Trust fund. Six, five. Blue eyes. Investing, hedge fund management. Finance is number eight. Because of So an eight is finance. Trust fund. Six five. Blue eyes. Investing, hedge fund management.

Finance is number eight. Because of the money. The money. Okay. And the chinos. It's the chinos. For me, it's the chinos. They really wrap around a thigh.

Yeah. You know? And that puffer vest, it's like, is it cool? Is it cold? You know what I mean? My arms are breathing. My arms certainly aren't. Too hot.

Too hot. But the chest is. chest is nice and snug. Okay, number seven, sexiest careers of 2025, tech. For example, data and analysis. I just said that. Analyst. And I just got confused. Analysts.

Data analysts, information technology, that kind of stuff. Why is that a sexy? No idea. Because there's good money involved in it. Yeah information technology, that kind of stuff. Why is that a sexy? No idea. Because there's good money involved in it. Yeah, but then that's not sexy. I think it's like knowing how this stuff works. What, like they can fix you? Why not?

It's just sexy. Help, I forgot my pay is worried. And some guy comes in and he's like, and he leans over me and he puts his hands like. I think people are romanticising this. I'm not saying that. 100% that's what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

100%. Six, science. For example, pharmac this. I have not seen that. 100% this is what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. 100%. Six, science. For example, pharmacist, chemist or a researcher. Sexy. Smart, brains, sexy, you know, knowledge. Maybe bring your home some sleeping pills. Yeah, bring me home a little concoction of Sudoware for dreams. They're not allowed to do that.

Weird, these aren't the sexy. No, I wouldn't have thought any of these so far. Odd list, eh? Okay, five is business, which is marketing and sales. Wait, you've got the right list. Boring. Sexiest careers of 2025 as voted by the people. Careers your parents want you to get into,

but you might be bored 10 years in. I know. We'll make our own little short list after this. Four, law. Lawyers, police officers, et cetera. Okay. Three, law. Lawyers, police officers, etc. Okay. Three, emergency response. You're firefighters, EMTs, ER doctors and nurses. Yeah. Well, they do an amazing

job. And it is. It's a bit sexy. Yeah, especially the paramedics like the AMBOs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got their one hand on the wheel and you're like look at their arm. What's that? Do you know what I mean? Is there anything else fun and a bit sexy when they're putting the gurney in the back of the ambulance?

Yeah. Like how they get there and they're like, click, click, and then click that first wheel up and it folds up and it rolls in.

Yeah. And they lift the other one and it just goes in. Well, there it is. It's sexy. Okay, here's your top two sexiest careers of 2035 as voted by the people,

not us. Okay. Education is in second place. Teachers and tutors and teacher aides. This is a weird list. It's a weird list. Number one.

I thought it was going to be all like uniform based. Same. And like your traditional. Build it. No tradies. Number one is healthcare, doctors, nurses and therapists. Wow. Yeah, where's your tradies?

Where's your bloody. I mean, it's a great list of all the professions That you know Work And all have Important jobs That we all need I'm just looking at this list Seeing money Other than nurses Wait are you telling me

Necessity is sexy Well it sounds like it From this list Being made is sexy Oh I'm like Where are the tradies That's hot for me Where are the chefs

All we learnt yesterday Chefs Yeah no I know But like Maybe the Sexy wise They're there with their white things and they're cooking.

Try this, babe. Try this. What do you think of that? What I've done there is I've created a somewhat of a sort of a jus. I've made a sea water foam. Yes! I've made a sea water foam and you're like...

It's nothing. They're like, what is it? And you're like, it's yuck, it's air salt. And they're like, great, just what I wanted. That's going on my steak that's tiny but perfectly cooked. Yeah, tiny but very expensive. Super expensive. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Well, there's an article about why your cell phone doesn't make the best morning alarm.

Oh, I haven't used my cell phone as an alarm for years. Really? Smartwatch. Smartwatch. The way to go. So you charge your watch before you go to bed because overnight's a watch? Smart watch. The way to go. So you charge your watch before you go to bed because overnight's when I charge my watch. Because also I love

seeing your sleep. Your sleep data. It's incredible. I just don't like the feeling of it. Even though I sleep with about six other bracelets on. No, you get used to it. It gives you a little buzz. You don't get that horrible alarm or whatever it is.

I mean, I think I used to use bird noises. Yeah, I used bird. The iPhone bird noise was the one. But even that got a bit, you know. You know, I hate birds now. And then you hear birds and you get triggered. Yeah. It's awful.

All right, here are the main reasons why it's not risk of snoozing too much. Yeah. I did five times this morning. I really struggled. Oh, Hayley. I know. You just said it once and get up. Said it once and get up. You know that you'll be calling me if I do that. Yes. Poor sleep quality

makes you feel groggy, snoozing too much. Distractions. If you keep your phone nearby, you might get distracted by notifications or if it lights up and you wake up and you see it in the middle of the night, then you're awake. Bad idea. Dependence on battery. If you think your battery's charging but you don't check this, this has happened to me, hasn't it? Yeah. And you wake up and you're

The sun's up. Although normally they have a reserve for an alarm. Yeah, that's what I always thought but then mine was dead dead. Inconsistent sound. They tend to be less loud and can be ignored If you're a heavy sleeper and you've got your volume down

The blue light exposure When you first wake up can mess with your natural sleep cycle Sleep wake cycle Make it harder to feel fully awake Mental association with work or stress Could be your social media Could be work, it's right there It's tempting to look at

And then it can add additional stress before and after bed Lack of routines totally makes sense, doesn't it? Lack of routines totally makes sense. People that sleep with vibrate on or notifications. Or even just the light-up screen. It's do not disturb, and then the screen doesn't light up. I just can't stand it. Mine just goes into sleep mode.

You don't get buzzed. Well, what do you use for your daily alarm? 91% of people who responded used their phone. 4% used an alarm clock, 4% used a smart watch and 1% used an Alexa or like a smart speaker like a Google Home or something.

We didn't actually put an option for those that just have a life of leisure and just wake up when they feel like it. I just wake up with the sunrise. And then I just get up sort of at my own time.

Because we don't want to hear from them. We hate them. We're jealous. We hate them so much. They're not listening. It's 6.54. Why would they be up? They don't have to be from them. We hate them. We're jealous. We hate them so much. They're not listening. It's 6.54. Why would they be up? They don't have to be.

There's no less natural time to set an alarm for than 20 past four in the morning. 4.20. Not nice. Philip said, I've got a very novel way of waking up. It's called a toddler. Oh, yeah. You got one of those.

Yuck. I mean, oh, my God. Are they loving kindy? They're having just the best little human around. Gaylene said, my alarm clock is the sound of my husband banging and

crashing around making his morning coffee at 6.30am. Wow. Sounds like a fire, Gaylene. What time are you planning on getting up? Whoa! I mean, you could have just gone to bed earlier, Gaylene, if that's the problem. Gaylene, don time are you planning on getting up? Whoa. Because, I mean, you could have just gone to bed earlier, Gaylene, if that's the problem. Gaylene, don't listen to him.

Don't listen to him. He's got a real attitude problem. Support your man. Jess. Support your man. People need to get amongst the smartwatch alarm. A light vibrator is so much less aggressive than any other option. Yeah, see?

It's life-changing. Life-changers? Life-changing. Jack said, my wife got sick of my alarms waking her up at 4 a.m. So I invested in an Apple Watch. And again, there's your smartwatch,

your smartwatch wake up. See, I'd forget to charge it in the afternoon though and I'd go to bed with it on 7%. Or you go to the gym and it's dead and then the workout doesn't count. Why are you working out if your watch isn't telling you

you're a good boy? I know. Tash says, well, actually it's a combo of phone and old school radio alarm clock. Oh, good morning. One backs the other one up, so definitely get up in time. Well, somebody's messaging, we wake up to the chaotic sound of Fletch, Thorne and Hayley at 6 a.m.

Oh, really? Good morning. On our radio alarm clock. No options in the voting, though. It does make us concentrate on something so it's easier to not fall back to sleep if we want a short lie. Do you know, I was, my main, my main, the minute you said radio alarm clock and waking up to the radio, do you know what my main instant, I was taken back to September 11, 2001.

So we heard it. Yeah. I woke up and I was like, I wasn't even born then, eh? I was. It's so crazy. I was like, not even a thought. Right. I was, I was 11. No, I believed. Right. I was, I was 11.

No, I believed you were. And I've been 23 years old. Sorry. No. Catherine said, phone and radio alarms. They always have a backup. Plus I get to wake up to you guys. Good morning. Hi, Catherine. Hi. Alarm tone is stumbling in by Cyril and it's honestly the best thing to wake up to. Honestly, you just ruin

any song. Smooth wake up when the beat comes in to get you moving. Yeah, any song that you have or any tone just gets ruined. Don't put your favourite song as your alarm. I did it and you're like, can't ever listen to Bohemian Rhapsody again. I just, can I hear the start of Stumbling In? I've got it here. Yeah. Oh my God.

Wasn't ready to go. For God's sake, go back to radio school. Oh, kind of like. Oh, it does sound a little alarming. Yeah, it does. It's got that alarming build up like the birds that, go back to radio school. Oh, kind of like... Oh, it does sound a little alarming. Yeah, it does. It's got that alarming build-up like the birds

that I woke up to. Yeah. But then again, you're just ruining the song because every time... It will always be... Yeah, but then you're sleepy and then suddenly...

And then here. Yeah. I'm up. I'm up. It's not a new day. I think your chord's a bit dicky there. Oh, yeah,

I do have a dicky chord, actually. I came back this year to a dicky chord. Oh, all right. We'll put a work order into IT. It's got a bit ofy there. Oh yeah, I do have a dicky cord actually. I came back this year to a dicky cord. Oh, we'll put a work order into IT. It's got a bit of authenticity to it

because remember when you'd plug in the aux into your car and it'd get a bit dicky and you'd be like, I must replace that and you never did. I use eight alarms

says Gianna on my phone and used to have a physical alarm clock but I kept smacking it with too much rage and it got broken. Wow.

Mark said, I didn't know dinosaurs listened to the show. Alarm clocks, really? Because he's seen that a few percent of people said they still wake up with alarm clocks. Actually, my old Nokia 6101 wakes me up since it's been doing it for the past 17 years. Never got rid of it. Same ringtone. I only use it for an alarm so the battery lasts over a month. Oh, my god, crazy.

What was that Nokia 6101? Literally just use your phone now. Yeah, I don't know why. Maybe they just got used to that sound though and that is an ugly, ugly Nokia. So that is today's silly little part. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. A ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. A little tension in studio because Hayley sent me an Instagram reel that I sent like not even that long ago, like last night. Like literally, okay. Scroll up. You just sent four. Scroll up.

The last one I sent you at last night at 9 o'clock is the exact same one you just sent me I was really busy I was working on my project for after 8am so I didn't get so I did not check I did not check out Instagram because they need the feature that TikTok has that tells you if a friend

has shared that with you that's how bad we are as humans look me in the eye I'm sorry this is how bad we are as humans. Look me in the eye. I'm sorry. This is how bad we are as humans. Yeah, like we don't read all of them. Like let's be honest,

we don't read all the memes. Listen, I do. I lap up everything you guys send in that chat. Yesterday I was busy working on something for after eight o'clock. Stay tuned.

Stay tuned. And I missed the fact that you'd sent a really funny Creed meme. And so I sent it back this morning thinking I'd discovered it. I only send Creed memes to you guys. I know, I know. I don't have any other Creed meme pals.

Yeah. Okay. If you hear in the background a bit of Katy Perry, it's because yesterday, well, Monday... Monday America time, she announced a huge world tour. It's called the Lifetimes Tour. Yeah, but a world tour minus us as always. Well, hang on.

Let's just. Or are we going to be added on? I think we'll be added on. She's coming to Aussie. She's doing Australia. Yeah. What? I know.

So I was just reading this here going, okay, she's only doing America. She's starting in Mexico in April and then doing all around America. And then in this article it says before making her way down to the southern hemisphere to Australia. In what month or what year? I don't know. That's not, that one's not on the, oh hang on I kid you not.

Hang on, they've got backwards dating. 13th of June at Rod Laver. So that's Melbourne. So we've got Sydney. Sydney. This June or 26? This June dude. She announced it and she's off in April. So she's in America

all through May. Then June she heads to Sydney. Then to Melbourne. Sydney for two. Melbourne for three. Brisbane for two. Perth for two. Adelaide for four. Then she goes back to Phoenix. Is there a big gap between Australia and Phoenix,

like where she could come here? 12 days. Okay. Surely she is. 12 days. Surely. She's doing four in Adelaide. I would have bet on it.

Really? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. It's a pink situation, but not a pink last time. She came pink before that. But she was massive in Australia and could leave that space to guarantee sell out a couple of Australias versus coming here. Well, she's got- Because I don't think Katy Perry would sell out her. She certainly wouldn't sell out an Eden Park.

Would she? I don't know. Ten years ago. No years. So she's doing 13 dates in Australia. Right. And zero so far announced for New Zealand. So this is called the Lifetimes Tour.

Feels a little bit reminiscent of the Errors Tour, right? Yeah. So she's saying it's kind of going to be going back over her whole career because God knows we're not touring the latest album. God knows we're not really highlighting that. Or the one before that. Or the one before that. Yeah. So she's calling it the Lifetimes Tour

looking back across her career, all her biggest hits also wanting feedback from her fans as to some of the deep dives, like if she wants to go and play some of the lesser known stuff if they want that this is huge I would love to see Katy Perry live, I mean I I was never a huge fan, but she's like...

If you're a big fan, though, are you booking Australia, like, now? Or are you waiting to see if she announces New Zealand? I don't know. It's promised to be just as colourful and costumey and full of lights and dance and huge set pieces. You know, her... As the Eros tour. No, as her, like, previous performances.

I would go. I would go. I would go if she came to New Zealand. But you're not going to Australia for it? No. Nah. She sings that swish swish another one did the basket. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the flossing song.

That was the one that didn't run to the floor. My hair off, it was weird. Anyway, huge tour for Katy Perry. Watch the space if she comes to New Zealand. If you're a fan. Just go on her website. All the tour dates are there. Katyperry.com

Off to Aussie for you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's like we know they're not good for us, but we keep coming back for more. We said at the end of last year, Shannon, you've had your shot. You know? You've had your shot with your hacks.

You didn't reach five star max for Shannon's hacks. And so, you know, we've had your shot with your hacks. You didn't reach five-star max for Shannon's hacks. And so, you know, we're done. And yet we're back for more. I just love how terrible they are. But Shannon, look, actually, this is your second hack of the year. Yeah. And it's only our second week back at work. I'm on a roll.

I'm like your toxic ex-boyfriend and you're like, you up? This is what we're doing. We're not doing it anymore and we just text you to be like, up too. Yeah. It's because of all those

bomb hacks. Do you know what I mean? She's got a bomb hacks and we keep coming back for bomb hacks. And that's why you're getting those you up messages. Or the hacks are so bad

you're like, it can't be as bad as I remembered. Yeah, hang on a second. No, it wasn't that bad. I'm looking through

my whatever the opposite of rose tinted lenses are about. I want to say I have a great hack remembered. Yeah, hang on a second. No, it wasn't that bad. Maybe I'm looking through my, whatever the opposite of rose-tinted lenses are. I want to say I have a great hack to save this segment. So do I, putting still wine in a soda stream to make champagne. No, that's, you're not meant to put anything other than water in a soda stream. And also the French government has emailed

me requesting you stop referring to that as champagne. Okay, Shannon, hit us with your bomb hack. There's something so awkward about solo dining. I know you guys are okay with it. I love it. Hayley and I don't mind a solo dine. I really struggle and I know a lot of other girlies do.

There's something quite awkward. Get a grip. And like, you don't want to... Get a grip is as bad as man up. Or just get over it. I'm not a clairvoyant, but I don't see Fletch judging this one highly. It hasn't started well, Shannon. Straight out the gate, we've got to get a grip.

Well, it's quite, you know, it feels rude, even though you're just by yourself, to be on your phone, but also just staring at your food's quite awkward. I put my headphones on at a restaurant when I eat on my own. That's a lot. 100% it's so fun. Well, this is to help people who feel a bit awkward, don't want to go on their phone,

rock up to your next solo dining reservation with a clipboard and some pens. I want so people think you're a restaurant reviewer. Yes, I'm not being unethical and say, say you're a restaurant reviewer, because that's not okay. Yeah, because then they'll give you way too much service. Having dined with a restaurant

reviewer, they don't go in saying I am a restaurant reviewer! And I have my clipboard and my pen! Interesting. What it does is it gives you a bit of a purpose between the awkward talks with the waiters and while you're eating. Instead of going on your phone, you can just write down some little

notes. About what? The food? Yeah. So you are writing a review, but just for no one to read. But a little bonus to the hackers, you might get a free dessert. I almost, I seem to remember afterwards the food reviewer, Jesse Mulligan, who reviews it for... He does great food reviews.

Great food reviews. I follow whatever he says blindly. Yeah. He tells me where to eat, what's hot. He's a cult leader. We just follow him blindly for his food reviews. I'm pretty sure even afterwards he messaged,

they get photos from the restaurant. He doesn't take any photos then and there. Right. I think they say we've sent our reviewer, they had this,

this and this. Do you have photos of that? I feel like that's how it works. Right. There was like literally when you were eating with him he was taking it all in and he was thinking but I don't even remember notes on phone, clipboard certainly not. Yeah it worked. Right. There was like literally when you were eating with him he was taking it all in and he was thinking

but I don't even remember notes on phone clipboard certainly not. Yeah, no. Right. Side note, did you get to eat for free? Yeah.

Oh my God. He made the mistake of taking Josh Thompson and I. Oh God. That poor restaurant. We ate. Did he pay for it? Yeah.

Oh right, so he just claims it back. He pays for it and then gets paid back by whoever he's doing the review for. Because you can't go and He pays for it and then gets paid back by whoever he's doing the review for. Because you can't go and do it for free. Because then if you're doing it for free, you're likely to be dishonest

or be more in favour of it versus doing it for nothing. And you don't want to tell them you're a reviewer because then they go out of their way to make it better. Yes, exactly. I want an honest reviewer. A genuine reviewer. I mean, they recognise him. If you own a restaurant, you'd know what food reviews look like. He runs reviewer. I mean, they recognise him. Yeah.

If you own a restaurant, you know what food reviews look like. He runs a cult that we all follow. Yeah, yeah. He's a cult leader. Okay, so your hack is if you're going out for dinner and you're doing a solo dine, which I highly recommend. I absolutely love it. Treat yourself. But you might feel a little bit awkward about not having someone to converse with.

Rather than go on your phone, you pretend role play, shall we say, as a food reviewer with a clipboard and you take thoughtful notes throughout the meal. I'm just imagining Shannon there with clipboard and felts.

Yeah. Cheap felts. Off-brand felts. And rice bread. Five star. Yum. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah.

Very yum. Or if you run out of butter, right underneath that bread could do with more butter, real big so they see it. Yeah, and right on the top like NZ Herald. I feel like somebody that's so self conscious about dining solo isn't going to

want to make a scene and be performing a role. That's not something someone who is embarrassed to be going to a restaurant alone is going to do. I'm going to give this one star. I'm not saying do like an accent and like do a whole character. I'm just saying.

Me think his pastor is somewhat over cooked. I just think just a little bit of a purpose of what you're doing between bites or between chats. You know what? Eat at home. Do you know what I mean? If you're bad shaken by the idea. Or get a grip. Or get a grip.

Actually, Shannon, get a grip. One star. I'm giving it one star. Vaughan? Yeah, one star. One star. Because it's not at all how food... You lost me.

What, one star all round? No, like, what about the free food, though? Yeah, free dessert. No, you're playing the system. You're ripping off a restaurant. Yeah, now you're going against small, struggling businesses. No, I said I'm not being unethical. I'm not saying say you're a food reviewer.

But when I was a waitress, if we thought someone was, we'd give them a free dessert. Oh, okay. So I'm saying. I'm sorry, you thought there was a food reviewer at your East Auckland pub that you worked at? I'm sorry. Reviewing the fish and chips.

Reviewing the big pints. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pints were, yep, to the brim. That was definitely. So, okay, so I saw a hack last night just to give people an actual hack. I think this is quite. This is actually quite genius. Do you remember ages ago and they went viral?

You could buy those little clips that you'd put on the back of. Stop people reclining the seats. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd put them on the arms of the tray table. Yeah, that's right. And then they couldn't recline the seat. And then airlines were like, yeah. You put them on the arms of the tray table. Yeah, that's right. And then they couldn't recline the seat. And then airlines were like, we're banning them.

We're banning them. Well, a woman's gone viral because she posted on TikTok a tube of Pringles sitting on the tray table wedged perfectly. It was the perfect height. I don't know if this would work on every plane. The perfect height from the tray table to where the little seat clip is. And it wedges the seat open. And so they can't recline.

Amazing. But all your Pringles get crushed. Do you know what, Fletch? Five stars. Thank you. Five stars. Fawn, you review? It's five stars.

It's five stars. Nobody wants it. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. Do you get a jingle now? Because you only need the tube. You get chips. Yeah, maybe we do F. That's how you do it. Do you get a jingle now? Because you only need the tube. You get chips. Yeah, maybe we do Fletcher's Hacks.

Oh, my God. It's his Fletcher's Hacks. And we'll make a jingle for him. You actually just put in a jingle because that was five stars. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Amazing. Great hack.

Can we get in the booth after the show today and I'll whip up a jingle for Fletcher's Hacks? Yeah. This is how easy it is, Shannon. This is how easy. Yeah, actually, Shannon, you'll have to hit record on that and listen to that whole process Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley

You know I'm really loving pop music at the moment I think pop music is really having a big time A couple of years ago I was like Nothing in here for me At the moment I've been absolutely loving it But in my core I do love heavy metal And I do

That's the rangi ora in her Yeah that's the Rangiora in her yeah that's what I took it comes out every now and again they took me to Eastbourne and they tried to get it out of me but I was like oh I've got a Bogan core so I'm talking about this because I have tickets to see Slipknot in a few months okay

is that the one my brother likes? yeah and I'll see him at Metallica as well later in the year look this is just who I am. We're all different. And yet genuine friends. Genuine friends. Genuine friends.

It takes all sorts. The one band we agree on, Creed. Anyway, so genuinely. So I have these tickets, but it sold out so quickly, the GA tickets, right, on the ground. And I think when you go to a heavy metal concert and your knees are good enough, you've got to get on the ground. And I think when you go to a heavy metal concert and your knees are good enough, you've got to get on the ground.

And I couldn't get them. And I was in charge of it. So I had to get seated tickets. And I feel embarrassed to be seated at a metal concert. You know what I mean? It's not the vibe. That's a bit odd. So I've been trying and trying and trying.

I've been even trying to swish my industry insider flag around trying to be like, do I know anyone who could get us some tickets? Anything. Hasn't worked. Hasn't worked. Well, my friend Shari has found some tickets and she sent them to me and was like,

there's this girl, this is where it's going to sound like I'm getting scammed. There's this girl on a Facebook group page that is selling some general GA tickets for Slipknot for a good price and there's enough for us.

This is what we want. See, that's your first sign. It's a sold-out concert. It's a good price and it's on Facebook. Really good price. Cheaper than what they were on sale for. Does it feel too good to be true? It's feeling that way.

Because me ma, me old ma used to have a saying. What, you're telling me old ma used to say? Old ma used to have a saying about things that are too good to be true. They often are. Always are. Well, okay, so she's selling them for literally like

$80 cheaper than what they were. There's four of them for this completely like rapidly sold out thing. And then when I was like, well, let's just give it a go. Like, I think she looks legit.

She's a woman. Yeah. Because scammers are never women. Scammers are never women scammers are never women no and then she told us about

she was like yes cool but if you pay for them can you pay for them via Tixl and I was like what's Tixl and I sort of

thought Fletch that you would know but you don't know either so now I'm wondering so Tixl's an app or a site where you resell your tickets

and the whole idea is that it's safe for both parties. Secure fan-to-fan ticket resale to live events. So that feels like she's wanting to have a legitimate exchange here. It says on the Tixl account, if your ticket doesn't get you what you paid for, our money-back guarantee has you covered. We automatically cap prices and monitor listings for compliance and resale laws.

Goodbye scalpers and price gouging. And never miss a hot ticket with instant notifications calling dibs on your ticket listings. It's an app. Fletcher's question was, it's with Ticketmaster or Ticketek or whatever. Don't they have a thing? They kind of all have it like,

then when you buy it, you get exchanged. They'll transfer it. It'll be on your phone, so it's a legitimate ticket. What I'm trying to avoid is turning up, all ready to go yeah my line is on to sing that Slipknot song

that everyone knows that one it's my favourite yeah I knew it was and then I don't get in with my scammed ticket and then this

and this goes now look immediately people are saying Tixxle is safe trust it use Tixxle legit super easy Tixxle's. Trust it. Use Tixl.

Legit. Super easy. Tixl's great. And then someone said Tixl fees are crazy. Yeah. So how am I paying? Who's paying? Where's the paying of that?

Yeah. Because Tixl. I was wondering how they could do the money back guarantee just on someone getting money for tickets. Ah, okay. So they're taking a tick. They're taking a cut. Someone's taking a cut. Yeah.

So Tixl on Trustpilot, which is a great website for, you know, if you're wondering if a website you're buying off or using is legit. It's 4.4 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot. That's good. And if people are texting in, they use it. Yeah, okay. But so, I guess you've just got to, I mean, if the tickets are $80 cheaper and there's some fees, who cares?

It's still a win. Yeah, this is what I thought. But then I've got two seeded tickets. Am I selling those? Because they weren't cheap. And I can't just afford to be just buying willy-nilly tickets. Willie Nelson tickets. So first of all, she's going to slip.

I've got very eclectic music. Come on, we're going to do an idiotic show. I just can't, you know, like, oh, I would sell mine on. No one's going to buy them. Okay. Carwin's of the belief that the seller takes the loss in the form of fees, like a success fee, like on Trade Me. When you're selling it, you pay the fee.

Oh, so if I, so I go on, I get a Tixxle account and I pay her. Yeah, and then I think that the fees probably come out of what you give her. Like a Trade Me success fee. So she's earning less money off of selling give her. Like a trade me success rate. So she's earning less money off of selling a ticket. And she wants to use it. But then shouldn't she be allowed to increase the ticket prices to the point where it also covers the fees she's going to lose?

Well, it's up to her how much she wants to charge. Well, she might be listening. Don't give her ideas. What are you doing? I'm trying to tell me that tickets are too cheap. Shut up, porn. Okay, I'm going to go for it. Okay, well, a lot of people are messaging in that they've used this

and it's legit. So I think you're good to go. You're safe. You're good to go. It's going to go for it. Okay, well, a lot of people are messaging in that they've used this and it's legit. So I think you're good to go. You're good to go. It's not via go-go. It's not. It doesn't have a reputation for being awful. I remember when our friend Big Hearted James turned up to paint with his via go-go ticket

and they said, oh, Horn, that's not a ticket. That's not a ticket. It was written in crayon though. Pink crayon, I'll give him that. It was pink and so he was like, oh, though. Pink crayon, I'll give him that. It was pink, and so he was like, oh, pink. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. We want to know who still owes you money. Maybe you've never forgotten. Maybe you're holding a grudge. Yeah, how many years have you been holding on to this? So Kristen Davis, who is very famous for playing Charlotte on Sex and the City, which is the one you never want to be

because she was kind of the more conservative one. I liked when that was a thing, when people would say, which Sex and the City person they were. I'm Carrie. I'm Samantha. But they weren't. They were always the boring one.

You were big, Miranda. Who was the nicest one? Who was the only bearable one? Charlotte was, yeah, great friend, had a lovely family. And as you get into being an older gentleman, you're like, that was the one.

That's the one. It wasn't the dirty one. It wasn't the... What was Carrie's thing? What was her one? She's independent, creative. Yeah, it wasn't her. She was a bit much.

And it wasn't the other one. She was a bit much. They're all a bit much, other than Charlotte. So Kristen Davis, who plays Charlotte one she was a bit much they're all a bit much other than Charlotte so Kristen Davis who plays Charlotte she was on a podcast and so she has a podcast

called Are You A Charlotte that's so great is it a Sex and the City rewatch podcast because it always makes me a little bit sad when the people

were on a show that was successful but haven't like found another show of that same level and they do a rewatch podcast oh yeah that's a bit sad

so she was saying when, like a very, very long time ago, she lent $5,000 which a very, very long time ago A lot of money. A lot of money. Still a lot of money now. But this was just when she started coming to a bit of money. She lent who she describes

as now a very successful actor $5,000 US in in the mid-90s because he wasn't doing very well, was struggling to get, you know, was like, I really want to make it as an actor and it wasn't happening. Very talented.

She was like, look, I'll help you out. I've got this job now. Here's five grand. She's like, he's never paid me back. And she hasn't named who it is. No, she won't name it. Oh, please. I'm going, okay, 90s.

You could probably go back and be like, okay, where was she? Who was around? What were they doing? Were they on the show? Because lots of cameos and sex in the city. They were friends. Letting them have money.

And she said it changed the complete dynamic of their relationship in a horrible way. It was a casual thing. Like, I've got it. You need it. I know you'll pay me back. It never happened. He actually ghosted her in a way.

Like, stop calling. Awkward. I would never'll pay me back. It never happened. He actually ghosted her in a way. Like, stop calling. I feel so awkward. I would never borrow money off friends. Yeah. Not that amount of money. Then you owe them and it's just, oh, it's so horrible. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think if I've borrowed.

I've lent money to people. My dad's always been, like, very generous. And he always told me, like, help people out, but only give them as much as you know that you can afford not to get back. Yeah, that's good advice. If you're giving it, you've got to go, I had to accept, if as much as I hope they pay me back or I trust them, that I'm giving this knowing it might not come back.

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, because if you gave too much and then you're in a pickle, that's the demise of a relationship. But sometimes, I mean it could be a lot like this, five grand, it could be more or it could be just like a little bit and you're just holding on to it. Like, hey, you know, we were out the other night and I

did that round and then I feel like we stopped doing rounds. Yeah, it's just when we were out and we were like, rounds, rounds. Don't be that friend. And then you went and just bought yourself a drink, it was sort of crazy. Or like, you borrow your boyfriend or your girlfriend some money and then you break up. Oh, yeah.

Where's my 20 bucks? No, or where's my, like, couple of hundred? Oh, yeah. Or worse. Or more. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it was huge and maybe it was...

Hmm. Brad Pitt was on an early episode of Sex and the City. Could have been him as one of his first films. No, no, no. No, it wasn't. Sex and the City didn't start until the late 90s. Brad Pitt had been in he episode of Sex and the City. Could have been him as one of his first films. No, no, no. No, it wasn't. Sex and the City didn't start until the late 90s. Brad Pitt had been in heaps of movies by then. He was so famous by then.

It wouldn't be him. Yeah, five grand. No. No. Also, imagine hitting up someone now like Brad Pitt being like, you owe me five grand. He'd just pay it back, surely. Okay, we actually already have a couple of juicy messages.

Okay, well, this is what we want to ask this morning. 0800-TARZANEM-M, text in 9696. Who still owes you money? A little or a lot? Was it like a big thing or a tiny little thing that you haven't been able to let go of? Did you fall out? Was it an end of a friendship?

Yeah. Who owes you money? Yeah, who still owes you money? Kristen Davis, who plays Charlotte on Sex and the City and whatever, the remakers, says that she lent five grand to who is now a successful actor. Someone who is now a successful actor. Won't say who it is.

He. And they, yeah, they have never paid her back. Lives in the country, married with some children now. Okay, lots of clothes. Lots of clothes. That's not what we want to know now. Who's that? We want to know

who owes you money still. Remember that time Aisha from Below Deck still hasn't paid me for that postage. What does she owe you? I think it was $6.80 or $9.40

or something. See, so long ago I've forgotten now. She's hoping I forget. What did you send her again? Oh, when we had drinks at my place. Yeah.

She left the top Yeah She left the top Yeah and I was like Well I'll send it to you You know just Drinks at Fletcher's Gets wild Way to get the Room a little going eh

Way to get the room a little Well there were like Literally 20 people there So Remember when you had To bring my Bikini bottoms into work That's wild

Wow I just saw she was on Andy Cohen Yeah Yeah On the show Because he's on the same Network right

Yeah Mega famous friends I lent a friend I mean that's But you'd think she'd have I just saw she was on Andy Cohen. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's on the same network, right? Yeah. Mega famous friends. I lent a friend. But you'd think she'd have $6.80 is all I'm saying. Anyway, carry on. You mean she's doing so well, she's good for it. A lot of it's free, though.

Wow. A lot of that lifestyle is gifted. I know she listens to the podcast. I'm just saying I'll give you my bank details. Yeah. I lent a friend $1,000 over COVID. They said they were really struggling. Then what do they get the minute lockdown's over? A large tattoo.

Oh, come on. A large tattoo would be over $1,000. You're kidding me. See, but that's not. That's annoying, eh? Yeah. That's not a friend. When you see someone who's like, I don't have any money,

then they're out on the town. You're like, well, this is a couple hundred dollars out here. Conrad, no names. Who owes you money? Yeah, a local MP actually owes me $100 still. Wait, did you give a donation or them actually cash? No, no, no. This was back when we were like teenagers,

flatting broke ass. He needed help with rent one week, so I spotted him $100. And never got it back. Haven't seen it. And now he's growing up and as an adult, he's an MP. Yeah.

That is so brilliant. That's so funny. Do you ever think about just hitting him up and being like, hey man, I reckon you've got it now. Well, we disagree politically, so I'd probably keep my distance. Oh, interesting. Okay. Interesting.

Wait there, Conrad. Tell our I hate that. Oh, interesting. Okay. Interesting. Okay. Wait there, Conrad. Tell our producers who that is so I know. Yeah, we're not going to say anything, but thank you. We love a little bit of gossip. Thank you very much. Some messages in. Who owes you money?

Somebody said, in 2002, I was the person in the friend group with a restricted license and access to mum and dad's car. The deal was, if I got pulled over and fined for driving with passengers, we'd split the fine between whoever was in the car. Oh, yeah. You made the deal. Two-thirds of the friends came through, but one person still owes me $100. That friendship never recovered.

Yeah. 2002. What is that? Put that through the inflation calendar. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money to pay back now. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DALS at M.

Who still owes you money? Who still owes you money? That's the question on to pay back now. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DALS at M. Who still owes you money? Who still owes you money? That's the question on our lips right now. Some juicy messages coming in. Yeah, I know. Goodness me. I lent a friend $450. They were pleading hardship.

They paid me back $70 after about five months of asking. I've come to the conclusion they're never going to pay it. Husband still doesn't know. I'll never lend them money again. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like you said your dad says. Yeah, only lend as much as you're willing to lose, basically.

And then when you lose it, look at your fee. That's a friendship disestablishment fee. Yes. Yeah, that's what you paid to get them out of your life. Also, just tell your friends you don't have any money. Like, they don't know your situation. Really, do they? I just think it's communication.

That five-month thing, you're like, don't. If you can't pay it back, just keep me updated. I know I owe you money still. I know I owe you. I'm just, you know. It's when they like sort of ghost and pretend like they don't. You're like, screw that. I had a friend that whenever I was in her car,

she would work out the kilometres she drove and charge me gas accordingly. It would be like going to the mall for lunch together. She'd be like, that's 10Ks. Are you kidding me? That's a bit much. No. That's not fun.

No. No. My mate John in Melbourne still owes me $20. 31 years ago when I was four, I jumped off a fence and broke my arm. The same John owes me $2 from the, he must have told him if you jump off that fence, I'll give you $20.

Oh, okay, right. And broke his arm. Still owes me $2 from the high school tuck shop in 2006. Okay, so let it go. Fair to say, I don't think I'm getting my $22. No, get it back. Let it go. Listen to this.

Had a friend ask me for a ride home from town one night when we were teenagers. He lived on the other side of Auckland, so I said I'd drive him if he just gave me $20 of gas because it was far away from where I lived. And he agreed. When we both got close to his house, he bailed out of the car at the lights and ran home. He never mentioned it again. Wait, you're still not friends

with him? He said no longer friends. Yeah. But, you know, what's that call when you do the taxi run? When you like go out of a taxi and you do the run? Yeah, you bail on it. You don't do that to a mate. No, because they might know where you live. You could have just kept going right I'd be like oi Andre

Where are you going I bought our group's Taylor Swift tickets We went nearly a year ago And one friend is still doing the classic Can I pay you back next payday You've got to pay them back before the event Because after the event They lose all urgency

To pay you back afterwards. Yeah. My younger sister owes me about $3,500 from three years ago. Yeah, again, don't lend these people money. Does a deal count? An ex-friend and I agreed that we would quit smoking together and the first person to break this would give the other person $1,000. Well, I gave up with the assumption he'd also quit.

Well, him and his wife came to visit two months later and he lit one up. To my disbelief, I advised him he had broken the deal and owed me $1,000, which I have never seen, and he refuses to pay. Oh. Those are kind of, I don't know. I don't think bets in that count.

Yeah, bets don't count. Nah. Do you know, a big thing is the hen's do's, man. The hen's and stag's do's. Oh, yeah, they add up, eh? I remember I threw a hen's do. I've only thrown two. I threw one and had to claw back all the money.

And you agree with the group, okay, we're going to all put in 100 bucks or something. And I spend to that budget the amount of, I just got barely any of it back. And then I did one for my best friend, like immediately. This is what we were just saying, the gaggle, our group of friends, they were good for that.

We always do like, I'll buy everyone the tickets or I'll buy everyone the things. Like immediately. Yeah. This is what we were just saying, the gaggle, our group of friends, they're good for that. Yeah. We always do like a, I'll buy everyone the tickets or I'll buy everyone the things. Ship, ship, ship, ship, ship. All paid back. You guys are good for it too. That's why we're genuine friends.

Genuine friendship. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. You know, we get quite a lot of correspondence at the show. And we love it. You know what? I'm really hearing from a lot of people this week being goat wee. Oh really?

Coming up soon. Are you? You know how we talk the other day? Because most correspondence comes somewhere a lot of people this week being goat wee. Oh, really? Coming up soon. You know how we talk the other day? Because most correspondents come somewhere where the three of us can all see it. Like, where's that all going? I get a lot of DMs. Oh, okay. Right. You don't delete all.

No, I read and I reply to people. I've got this sort of mantra in my life that if people have taken time to reach out to me, it would be very rude of me not to return the favour. Hey, no. I have been so much better in the last few months and people have been noticing. Somebody actually messaged me saying, they messaged you, you replied, and then they didn't reply to you

because they wanted you to know how it felt. Taste my own medicine. I liked it. You're tasting your own medicine. So we got sent this from someone who listens to the show primarily as a, can you believe this shit? Sort of, I don't know who to talk to about this. It's bizarre.

What do you make of this? Like, is this for real? Am I being like, not gaslit's not the right word. Yeah, kind of the thing you'd see someone post on Reddit being like, can you believe this? Like, is this legit? Yeah. So someone messaged us a conversation they had

between them and their landlord. Yeah. Which, if you've ever had a landlord, to be honest, I had pretty good landlords in my time in renting. Yeah. They were pretty good. Like they weren't sort of like letting a house fall down around me sort of situation. A lot of the houses, they knew who they were renting to when a group of lads moved in.

Oh, yeah. In Hamilton and then in Auckland it got a little bit more sophisticated, shall we say. We were reading this like, trying to see it from the landlord's perspective. Like, where is he coming from? Like, what is he, what's his goal here? We don't know anything about the landlord, but when I read it in my mind, I had a picture of the landlord.

Yeah. So rather than just like read out this conversation. Well, you said it sounded, the back and forth sounded very sing-songy. It was very sing-songy, one for one. And so what I have done, and I've actually included some backing vocals as well that I recorded in my lounge at 10pm last night.

Okay, 10pm? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I've sort of made the exchange into somewhat of a little song so that you can really understand the furiating nature of the song. Right, so this is a conversation between a landlord. One of our listeners and their landlord. Okay, play it.

Okay, here we go. Our listener starts. Good morning. I thought I'd let you know that we have a leak in the lounge roof. He replies. God morning. What did you do to cause a leak in the roof? Us, nothing.

It's just a wet spot on the ceiling. Have you been on the roof? No. Have you been in the roof? No. Wait, in the roof, in the roof. No. No, we haven't been in the roof.

Hmm. the roof in the roof no no we haven't been in the roof it hasn't rained at my house so it can't be rain well it's rained all day in auckland quite a bit of rain i'm not in auckland i'm in hamilton that's the landlord saying right yeah yes but the house you own that we rent is in Auckland. Ah, yes. The one with the leak. Yes, the one with the leak in the roof. He responds. Can you send me proof? Yes.

Shall I send you a photo? Yes. Here's my address. Then he sends his address. Can't I send it over text? Like the way we're talking now. You can try. Message failed.

It didn't work. Didn't think it would. Do you think the leak will dry? Maybe till it rains again. Didn't think it would. Do you think the leak will dry? Maybe till it rains again. He asks, when's it due to rain again? She says, I'm not sure. Could you organise someone to come take a look?

Like who? I don't know. A roofer, I suppose. And he says, that sounds expensive. Are you sure that you haven't been in the roof? That was the end of their correspondence. They haven't been in the roof, on the roof. It's leaking. They haven't been in the roof, on the roof.

The most unbelievable response was, when's it going to rain again? I don't know, dude. I don't work for the Met Service. Get a freaking roofer around here. When's it going to rain again? Wait, what's the latest? Have they messaged?

That was where it got left. That's where it got left. I think she was going to ask your dad to come fix the roof because this guy's infuriating and the idea of getting him from Hamilton to Auckland to fix it. That just seems ridiculous. That's what they want you to do. Yeah, that's what they want you to do. I know. Now. That just seems ridiculous. That just seems ridiculous. Yeah, that wouldn't even exist.

That's what they want you to do. I know. Now there's no amount. This guy's playing dumb. Yeah. As a guy who loves getting on a roof with a silicon gun, assuming I'm going to fix anything that's wrong. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to get up there and help you out, but that definitely isn't it. Yeah. Well, I hope for our listener, it felt slightly less infuriating hearing it through song. Yeah. Than it did through receiving those messages.

God, landlords, sort it out. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Okay, I sent this to the group chat yesterday because I was like, okay, I feel sane. I don't know what it was over the weekend. I was hanging out with the bestie and we were talking about tattoos we wanted to get. I've booked

my next tattoo and I was excited for it. She had booked one too. And then I said, God, I've actually been thinking about getting a third hole in the ear. I've got two. One, two. And then I was like, I'm going to chuck a third in the ear. Where would you put it? Just above, just the stem.

Oh, right. I see you go three in a row. One, two, three in a row there. Right. How many do you reckon you could fit in that? You don't have a huge lobe. Not a huge lobe. One, two, three.

Maybe four before we start getting Into cartilage territory Yeah And you're happy You never got the flesh tunnel Oh my god You know me I grew up with a lot

Of flesh tunnel mates And they've all got Puckered little cat buttholes On their ears now I had one friend Get them surgically Really Stitched up and stuff

How does that look Yeah good Good You can't tell You wouldn't wear a dainty stud It'd go straight through But it looks alright now Yeah Yeah it's all good now. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, it's all good. Yeah, but a lot of them just flapping around. Flapping in the breeze. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to hold on. So this is just more in the, another chapter in your midlife, or sorry, you're calling it quarter life crisis.

I'm not midlife. I'm not middle aged. Calm down. Gosh. Calm down. I'm 20, 27. Anyway, so I sent this to the group chat yesterday. I was doing a little Instagram scroll.

Yeah. As I want to do to really numb the brain. And I came across someone talking about it as getting women of a certain age, meaning me, suddenly deciding that it's time to get a new second piercing, second hole, is a sign of a midlife crisis. And it really lines up with me saying that I was going to learn the guitar

and learn how to ride a motorcycle, which I'll say most of our listeners are really on board for. They're not. They are. When I say most, I say two really passionate listeners been sending me links to bikes and whatnot. I'd actually forgotten about your scooter incident.

Was that in Bali? Oh my God, we talked about this. I did admit that in moments of panic, I don't behave immediately well. Yeah. And that when I was in Bali years ago, and I can't believe I'm still talking about it, it's been a while.

I did have a scooter incident where I was going along a skinny bridge and I was tottling like this. So what I did to stop myself is I swung out my knee to sort of break onto the bridge. And that's how I thought to stop. To use your body to break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it shredded

the knee and nearly broke it. Yeah. As we remember. So I don't think two wheel contraptions are for you. I know, but I would get lessons. Right, okay. She wasn't a confident bipedalist then. No, I wasn't. Well no, she's not pedaling is she? Or walking?

Yeah. Or bicycling. So everyone, how much did the stitching of the cat bum hole cost someone asked? I'm not sure. Oh,

is that a flesh tunneller from the 2000s? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

Someone has messaged in saying that every time you talk piercings, I want to get involved. It's been my job for over eight

years. They might have some idea of what it costs. You can't get the flesh tunnel, that's like a plastic surgery. I was going to say, it's plastic surgery, right? it's a it costs. You can't get the flesh tunnel. That's like a plastic surgery.

I was going to say, like, it's plastic surgery, right? Yeah, it's a cosmetic surgery. It wasn't cheap. Yeah, right. Because if they're really in the wind, they actually have to, like, surgically remove a bit of it as opposed to keep it. Yeah, I would have assumed they would have had to have

opened it up back up. My friend who had it was, they were only little ones. Oh, okay, right. But I can't, I just felt so seen that someone was saying that this, I felt attacked actually that someone was saying that the sudden urge to get a second or third hole in your ear is a sign of a midlife crisis. Well, it certainly looks like it, doesn't it? It doesn't.

I just sort of thought it would be more jewellery. Carlin's got a third hole. When you add it to the fact that. Sorry. Hey, Leigh. Sorry about that. And so do I. And so does Shannon.

I mean, we're just... That's who we are anyway. Woo-hoo! And woo for three. But yeah, okay. But Carlin is... When did you get your third? See, I kind of did this situation where I did it in uni

because I left home and I was like, hee-hee. Yeah. I'm going to get another piercing. That's not a midlife crisis. That's just... Well, it depends when I die, to be fair. Yeah.

Jeez, Blake. The math's on it. You can't kind of call it a midlife crisis until we know exactly how long you're going to live. Because I remember, I think I've shared this before,

I had a nose ring for 10 years from 16 to 26 and I took it out and I had an identity crisis. I was like, oh my God, who am I? No one's going to know that I'm cool anymore. Right. But I haven't gone back to thinking that I took it out and I had an identity crisis. I was like, oh my God, who am I? No one's going to know that I'm cool anymore.

Right. But I haven't gone back to thinking that I should put that back in. It's just a little innocent little third, a little ear hole. The thing is,

they heal so easily. Like that's what I said. I was like, if I hate it, take it out, boom, it's healed. It's gone.

If you had to get, if I was holding your hostage fletch and I said, you have to get a piercing. Yeah. Where are you getting it? Well, I sent you guys a meme earlier and it said, you have to get a piercing. Yeah. Where are you getting it? Well, I sent you guys

a meme earlier and it said, oh my God, a great idea for men's piercing. Straight through the top lip, through the bottom lip. Just shut up. Keep the mouth shut.

But then he wouldn't be able to do this. Chapel Rhyme Pim Pimnacrum. Pim Pimnacrum. ZM. ZM. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you know, I got work at Faggler Days really tickled the fancy of some people. I've been hearing from some people. You'll remember. Like four people. The other day we talked about Judas goats. Yep.

Where goats are made to be very friendly. And, of course, goats are a herd animal. Not as massive as like sheep. They don't like as big a flock as sheep. But they are a herd animal. Not as massive as like sheep. They don't like as big a flock as sheep, but they're a herd creature. And so Judas goats were fitted with tracking collars. They were set free. They'd go and make friends with the local goat population that were a pest.

And then people would be like, Judas goats here. And they'd fly there in a helicopter and wipe them all out with guns. Good. I heard from Victoria. Listen to this story. Bit of a random message I thought you'd appreciate.

I caught up on yesterday's fact of the day about Judas goats. When I was 13, my dad was the CE of Mangatautari Ecological Island Trust. Now, this is the area in the Waikato, I believe, that they built a fence around. And now it's a bird sanctuary, but it was infested with all manner of invasive species. So I think they put the fence up, then went about wiping out all the pests.

So her dad was in charge of wiping out goats. And they used the Judas goat method to eradicate them. When she was 13, her dad came home with a couple of wild goats, kids, and said, make these goats friendly. I was a massive animal lover so I nurtured and got all these wild goats super

friendly. And then they were like, the goats have now got to go to work. And they strapped them with Judas collars and away they went. But she said, in fact, I got so friendly I got to keep one. I'm 32 now and our last goat just passed away a couple of years ago. The last Judas goat. That went out there and played the role of, yeah, real Uncle Tom situation going on there.

But she said they exist, and yeah, as a person that raised them, I can tell you that that was exactly how it worked. Wow. I just popped on TradeMing. I had it open, and I just thought I put goat in there. Quite cheap, quite affordable, a goat.

Yeah, they're a pain in the ass. $150. $150? Yeah. You can get a free one if you wait long enough. You can get some, though. Some nice-looking ones are like $400. What's a nice looking one?

Goa. Boa goat. Like model goats. You know the ones that you could see modelling for. Like it's actually cute. That's cute. Like the South African boar.

Today's fact of the day about goats is that goats in the Olympic National Park in Washington State in America are addicted to human urine. Because of all the hikers. Yeah. So people routinely relieving themselves on various hiking trails

throughout the park and the goats developed an insatiable thirst for urine which is a strong source of salt and minerals. Yucky. So we're doing the little packs, aren't we, when we're out hiking, trying to keep our electrolytes up. Correct. And everything, and then we do a wee,

and it's got lots of salts and everything in it. So much to the point where, as a result, park authorities have began tagging, blindfolding, and airlifting the goats out to nearby forests. I'd love to see one in the sky. They are. There's two in the sky.

They're blindfolded too. Can you imagine how scary that would be? My hoof's never really left the ground unless I'm jumping. No. Can't touch it. Wait, why did they blindfold them? So they wouldn't be able to see which way they were being taken so they couldn't find their way back,

which sounds like a joke, but it's the truth. Oh, I thought it was so they didn't get scared. Why the hell am I flying now? I'm a go. I'm a go. I'm a go. Maybe there's a bit of panic involved as well. Panic.

So they got fit with GPS collars so they know they're not coming back to the area because they also, the numbers were out of control, but they can't eliminate them because they're such an important food source for like mountain lions that live in the area. Yeah, and if you take those away,

the mountain lions start eating the hikers. Correctamundo. So they wiped out numbers, they took them right down, but had to keep some. But the mountain goats, quote here, can become a nuisance along trails around wilderness campsites where they persistently seek salt and minerals from human urines,

urine packs and sweat on clothing. They can smell it. Oh, and so they'd start like... They'll often pour and dig at areas on the ground where hikers have urinated or eat entire clothing left out to air or dry outside. Imagine waking up in the morning and someone's eating your Kathmandu jacket. Yeah, your bloody...

Your mack pack. Your puffer. Chewing on a puffer. In 2010, a very aggressive and a hungry goat gored to death a hiker and then ate his clothes off his body. What does that mean? Gored to death with the horns. Through the head?

No, maybe just punched him and somewhere injured them bad enough. Goats are very, very strong. I would not want to die like that. I mean, I don't want to die at all, but that would be bottom of the list of ways I want to go. You want a motorcycle. I don't want to die like that. Let's go way quicker than a goat.

I'm not going to die on my bike. Well, it doesn't exist, so let's hope it never does. Today's fact of the day is goats that became addicted to human urine and sweat had to be blindfolded and airlifted out of a particular park. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Chemist Warehouse. Can I tell everybody what I saw on their ad? I went there yesterday and I bought four different types of bandages. Ninja Turtle Plasters. Did you get the Ninja Turtle Plasters?

No, I didn't. I'm so sorry. I said you said you were going out to the show I said get me a Ninja Turtle Plaster. I got blister ones. I got waterproof ones. But no Ninja Turtle Plasters. I'm so sorry.

I forgot that you were excited. Yeah. There's Ninja Turtle Plasters at Chemist Warehouse. You know, when you're kidding about it. Well, we didn't have Flash Plasters,

but when my kids were little, the minute you bought like a Minions Plaster or a Barbie Plaster, they were like, we didn't have flash plasters, but when my kids were little, the minute you bought like a Minions plaster or a Barbie plaster, they were like, I need a plaster. I've got Minions plasters. So if you have a 42-year-old husband, don't forget, Chemist Warehouse has them. Okay, we want to talk about the little lies

or the little things that you have told a partner just to keep them happy, just to keep them happy for the time being. Now, this is a tiny little lie. Tiny little lie. There is a guy, he shared a line, his wife hates Dijon mustard. Now I hate her because I love Dijon mustard.

I love all mustard. I mean, I couldn't, I mean, if it wasn't around, I wouldn't be fussed. Dijon mustard is just mustard that went on an AFS exchange for a year to France, right? Oui, oui. Oui, oui. It's posh mustard. It's posh mustard. Yeah, it's got the little bits in it. Not as posh oui. Oui, oui. Oui, oui. It's posh mustard. It's posh mustard. Yeah, it's got the little bits

in the day. No, no, no. That's whole grain mustard. Oh, is that whole grain mustard? Dijon's the mustardy, not yellow, not yellow American kind of brown.

Browny gold? Browny, subtly gold. Dijon mustard, the main ingredients are brown mustard seeds, brassica juncia, and a mixture of white wine,

vinegar, water, and salt. Okay. Posh mustard. Posh. So hates Dijon mustard. Yeah. If anything's got Dijon, every restaurant,

does it have Dijon mustard? Can't stand it. I won't have it. Oh, right. Now, he makes burgers, and when he makes his burgers, he makes a special sauce. Okay? I make a special sauce with my burgers.

It's got Dijon mustard. It's one of the core ingredients. Yeah. Now, she loves this sauce, but she had the audacity after many, many years to be like, does it have Dijon mustard in one of the core ingredients. Yeah. Now she loves this sauce but she had the audacity after many, many years to be like, does it have Dijon mustard in it? And he just said no.

And she goes, oh thank God because I can't stand Dijon mustard. Keep her happy. We're enjoying the burgers. That's the thing. When you know someone doesn't like something,

you try to sneak it in to see if it's all in here. I do. When you see the salad dressing, Aaron's always like, don't put anchovies in it. And I'm like, I won't. But then that's not

Caesar salad. You tell me where the anchovies are, bro. It's mush. Anyway, so this, he shared it on Reddit and everyone was like, classic.

She doesn't need to know about the Dijon. I won't. Don't tell her about the Dijon. Also, I love the whole world's laughing at her now. I know. This is only going to make it worse

when she finds out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she sees him making it, do-do-do, spoon going in. People then started sharing their own experiences like and i know aaron has done this to me before someone said uh we were driving along

the road and my wife said to me oh my god is that a dead dog on the road he said no no it was just a trash bag oh i do that all the time just a possum was it a cat no no no no no no no no absolutely not with the girls in the back seat and I'll be like, and they'll be like, what? And shut up. It's like, that is a dead cat. And I look at her and I'm like,

no, no, it was not a dead cat. She kind of might know, but the girls are just, no, no, no, no, no. My girlfriend can't sleep sometimes. I told her that there is a pressure point on her lower neck that if pressed hard enough,

it induces sleepiness. It's an acupressure point. It's not, but she pushes it and goes to sleep. I love that. Someone said, or a liar tout, just a little lie

to keep them happy. Oh my God, it's your brother and his wife coming. That's amazing. I love them. And they don't. It's a great way

to spend the weekend. Anyway, this is what I want to know. What is the little lie or the little untruth that you told your partner just to keep them happy? The little white lies.

Just to keep them at bay. She doesn't need to know the truth. Not like, did you cheat on me? No. No, not that. Not just keep them happy. That's not a white lie. Do you have a second family?

I don't even know these kids. One's calling me dad. No, no, no. I think it's a joke. It's crazy. I think it's a Mr. Beast prank. Oh my God, there's Mr. Beast. Camera's around.

So not those kind of lies, but little white lies. 0800 DALS at M. Give us a call now. You can text through 9696. Tell us the little white lies that you tell your partner just to keep them happy. We want to know from you this morning the little white lies that you tell your partner to keep them happy. These are so good. Also, like, we're all just human.

We're all just the same. I'm just seeing these and be like, especially I can see the women and I'm like, oh God, we're all just human. We're all just the same. I'm just seeing these and be like, especially I can see the women, and I'm like, oh, God, we're all the same. Jen, what is the little white lie that you tell your partner to keep them happy? So, my partner, he's not really a fan of onions. Okay. And I'll

like, chop them up and, like, quite finely, but put them in, like, the burger teddies and the curries and stuff. And he's like, are there any onions in this? And I'm like, no, no, no. Wait, does he just not like them or does he have IBS? Because onions, man, they send you. No, he just doesn't like the onions.

Like, if there's onions, like, proper onions in burgers and stuff, it restores people's appetite. Oh, my God. He'll take them out. Yeah. But you could, like, literally. Oh, I could take them out. Yeah. But you could like, you could like literally blend them and he'd never know.

My mate's partner's like this and I'm always just like, I'd love to just, just see if I can get an onion in there. Get an onion in there. Sneak an onion in. Get an onion. Once I have a good onion though.

Yeah. That's what's wrong with her. She hasn't had a good onion. Thanks, Jen. Megan, what's the little white lie you tell your partner to keep him happy? So my husband thinks that the afterpay limit is $500, but it's actually $3,000.

Megan, that gives me the screaming shits. That sounds like that's more than a little white lie. Megan, we should hang out. Do you know what I mean? I just feel like you and me, we could be good friends. I've never used it. How does afterpay work? So you make your order online, which is great because he's at work,

so he doesn't see the parcels coming during the day, which is even better. Beautiful, beautiful Megan. And then you just pay it off over, I think it's eight weeks, like every two weeks you do a payment. But if you ticked up something $3,000, you'd still have to pay it off over eight weeks. Yeah, yeah, it's just divided by. We don't get to the three grand limit. I think Christmas was like two and a half, so, you know. Yeah, yeah.

He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. And you know the best thing about afterpay, Megan, and I'm not encouraging this behaviour, it just says afterpay on the bank statements. Do you know what I mean? It doesn't say what I bought.

$3,000 divided by eight is $375. Yeah, it's a lot. I mean, you don't want to be up there. Okay, sorry about these guys, Megan. They're such boars. I didn't say anything. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Megan, thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696. 0800. Somebody did say, not my partner, but my kids I lie to all the time. My absolute favourite is

any time we go past a playground and we can't be bothered stopping, they say, oh no, why not? And they're like, didn't you hear on the news that one's covered in shit? Absolutely covered in it.

So I shit all over it. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Jeepers. We're also feeding our partners a lot more. Like a lot of people sneaking in things. Kidneys was another one.

We've asked you this morning the little white lies that you tell your partners Just getting happy Hayley's still new to radio She doesn't know that some people may have tuned in And they may need a reset up of what we're talking about I actually think people should have been listening from 6am If you're a true fan you've been here since 6am

We don't have any true fans I'm sorry to break it to you No one listens the whole time They might be thinking Are we talking about feeders? Little white lies You tell your partner To make them happy

You're trying to fatten up So they don't leave you For example No The little white lies And a lot of people Sneaking in things Like they're cooking

Like onions and what not Or this Dijon mustard Going online Georgia Burt Do you have a little white lie That you tell your partner? I tell my partner That every time I buy something new that it's my best mate Jesus

and that I'm just borrowing it from her for the money. He doesn't believe that. No one believes that. Do you do your man's in finance? Yeah, I've had this for ages. Who do you think you've fallen? Well, I get my own allowance. I've had this for ages is my best.

So he doesn't know what my allowance, where that's going, does he? He can't see my allowance. You have a little allowance. You give yourself an allowance. Oh yeah, we do. So we both get an allowance each week. Yeah. If that makes sense. Do you do chores to get it? No, so he does pretty much all and I just

sit there cleaning the bathroom. That's my thing, cleaning the bathroom. Okay. Mine is not, this is my best friend's though I have used that multiple times. It's so much easier. I've had it for ages because I've got lots of clothes like in the garage. I'm sorry,

I just pulled it out from the thing. Do you like it? Do you like it? Literally bought it that morning. It's brand new in store. Do you like it? I don't know.

I just had it for years. I've just been sitting around and never really wore it. Somebody does the same thing except they were like, I've had this for ages. Do you think I would buy something this ill-fitting?

Right. Right. I've had it for ages. I'm trying to use it I might drop it off at the Sally's I'll just wear it today we'll see

yeah somebody just said did you try to call me can't go on air my husband listens to ZM and he'll listen he'll recognise my voice and I can't out myself

for my sins oh what was what did they message you I'll just scroll back to find their number oh did you buy anything from Kmart nope

nope where have you been just Kmart did you buy anything oh I just got one of those ice got one of those ice trays. One of the silicone... The $2 ice trays?

Yeah, yeah. A couple of t-shirts and some pyjamas. Some new glass wearing tablecloths. My partner told me when I got adult chickenpox that I couldn't scratch the spots where you had chickenpox otherwise you'd grow feathers. And I said do you think I'm an idiot?

But they actually thought they were right because it was what they were told when they were children and no one ever corrected them. So it's sort of an unline. Yeah, because remember when I got out of chicken pox, I only popped one and I've still got a scar. I'm scarred, yeah, I'm scarred quite a lot. And you've got that feather growing out of it.

And you're a half bird. I have to pluck it every week. Yeah, he doesn't need to shave, but he plucks. He plucks. I think it's called preening. Yeah, he doesn't need to shave, but he plucks. He plucks. I think it's called preening. Yeah. Actually, they're like seagull feathers for those wondering. Yeah, you made me that cute quill, that pin.

Yeah, that's cute. It was for Christmas. He's saving mine up for a special birthday. Headdress. Do that. No, I was going to go the headdress, but then times changed. Okay, then times did change. We don't wear those anymore.

A little white lie I tell my partner is I say I'm fine, and in reality I'm not fine. I'm not the type of person. Wait, and times did change. A little white lie I tell my partner is I say I'm fine and in reality I'm not fine. I'm not the type of person. I'm the type of person who hates attention and being the focus. So I just box on and he thinks I'm all good. That's not good. I'm like a woman to say that. That they're fine. When they're not fine.

Oh, odd. Why would they say something like that to me? I reckon maybe don't piss me off so much that I have to lie. It's fine. My husband's a coffee... My partner's a coffee fanatic. Why are you mocking me?

I'm on your side. Old feather boys over here. They're not mocking me. My partner's a coffee fanatic. Eight plus cups a day, including three after dinner. So I switched him to decaf, which he claims he despises, but he hasn't even noticed. Yeah, right.

After he complained he was starting to have bad sleeping patterns. Yeah, three coffees after dinner will do that to you. You've got to cut off coffee at, like, I don't know, lunchtime or one o'clock. Did you read the horse one? No. I tell my husband that my horse is leased. He thinks it's not mine. I own this horse.

Wait, you can lease a horse? Like, a lease car? Because if you're a rider, right, you might not have to own the horse if you do tricks on it. Tricks. What's it called? Equestrian. No, it's called horse tricks. Horse tricks. I can't wait for the Olympics.

I'm a huge fan of the horse thing. What's your sport of choice? Three-day horse tricks. Horse tricks. Horse tricks. Yeah. I think these are harmless lines. What part of this is wrong?

I tell my partner I don't go to the gym four times a night, but really I do. Now, do they mean four times a week? Must mean four times a week. Or they're saying they go to the gym, but they don't. Why are you telling your partner you're not going to the gym? But they are going to the gym. Secretly getting jacked and trying to hide it?

Four times a night. Must mean a week. What are you going for? To me, it sounds like you're having an affair and you've got a second family with three kids. That's all I can read from that text. And you can't afford their hot water so you take them to Anytime Fitness and you shower them

all throughout the night. In the big shower you get them all in there, clean them up, take them back to their other mother. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way?

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