ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 29th October 2024

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Lily Allen is on onlyfans Bye bye sort by price Hayley's free sign Top 6 other things Kurt Cobain missed out on Number one wedding song Weirdest place you met someone? Vaughan's bakery rave We're in a podcast loop Hayley's first swim of Summer What did you find out about your partner before the wedding? Jack & Hilary Whitehall SLP: Hard or soft lolliesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley loving this short week. Not here long. We're not here long, so lap us up while you can. Tuesday already. And what, November in three days? Four days? Yeah. Yeah, wow.

Yep, the witching hour on Thursday. The year is flying. Oh, guys, guys. We are going to give you another chance this morning to go in the drawer to get to New York for the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball at Madison Square Gardens. Hopefully they've cleared out all the Trump after the weekend. Clear out, blow out the Trump. Blow out all the

Trump germs. And they'll get that underway. Your chance to go in the drawer at 8 o'clock this morning. You've just got to identify the famous New Yorker. Fictional or real. All thanks to United Airlines Air New Zealand. How good. So listen out for the activated just before the news at 8 o'clock.

Bourne, you've got the top six coming up. Yes, Dame Helen Mirren said. Hot. Yeah, fantastic. Are you Helen Mirren or Judy Drench? Helen Mirren. There's too many factors. You've got to choose one.

Pick a factor. Helen Mirren or Judy Drench? Who do I want to hang out a factor. Helen Mirren or Judi Dench? Who do I want to hang out with more? Helen Mirren. Who's a better actor? Judi Dench. Who's a better namesake for a fire truck? Dame Judi Drench.

Yeah. Who was sexier growing up? Helen Mirren. Who's done better movies? Who's to say? Well, Helen Mirren recently said Oh, really laid it out. In fact, you thought... I mean, no point.

No, you've done it all. No notes. That was so thorough and just like that. I think about them both too much, I think. I think you get them confused with each other quite a bit. Really? Yeah, but people who just hear the name and they're like, oh, that bird who played the queen. Yeah, true. who just hear the name and they're like, oh. Oh, white lady. That bird who played the queen.

Yeah, true. Well, she recently said she was very sad when she thought about the fact that Kurt Cobain never got to experience GPS technology. Now, for those that don't know, Kurt Cobain's band is on the T-shirt you wear. Yeah, so see Narvana. Narvana. Yeah, that's actually a band that he was in. Yeah. Good music. So he died in. Narvana. Yeah, that's actually a band that he was in. Yeah. Good music.

So he died in 1994. Yeah. And hell of a year. Some say the peak of humanity. 1994. Great music year. Great year for everything. Great year. Movies, music, culture.

The whole shebang. This year I graduated. What? I was going to say. And began primary school. Yeah. Hell of a year. She's upset because he died in 1994,

and of course GPS wasn't used until like the early 2000s. This is such a wild read, this article. Weird call, eh? So funny. She's very funny, though. She's very funny. She's very funny, so she must have been, I'm sure, judged. Well, she was in the Fast and the Furious movie,

so you've got to have a sense of humour. The top six other things that Kurt Cobain missed out on when he died in 1994. Play Zed-Ems, Fleshborn and Hayley. Lily Allen. Sunny's in the sky, oh, why, oh, why? Wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I could just play the song.

Don't need to. Oh, was that not you playing it? No, I was looking away. Was it you? I just mouth played it. Amazing. Live, yeah. F you, F you very, very much.

I've seen her twice live and it was great both times. Yeah. Yeah, she's awesome. But she doesn't do music anymore. I was going to say, is she doing anything? She thought about it. Because she has a podcast that does very successfully. And does very successful.

Very successful. Man, that private school education. Done me good. It's done you successfully. And does very successful. Very successful. Man, that private school education. Done me good. It's done you good. It done me good. Her podcast does successful. And she talked about the fact that people say to her all the time, Lily, Lily, like, come on, do some music.

Go tour and stuff because we love your old music. Yeah. And she said there's something a bit naff now about being like, I got my trainers on and it's a sunny day. And she said, there's something a bit naff now about being like, I got my trainers on and it's a sunny day. And she didn't mock herself. Yeah. It was very much a time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great albums. And she's like, now I'm like stinking rich. But good on her for being like a self-aware of that. Yeah. She's like,

some artists would just tour and still be doing that. Yeah. She's like, it's not relatable to me anymore. Yeah. But anyways, she revealed on her podcast that a pedicurist,

she was getting her toenails done, mentioned to her, excuse me, that's a little protein burp, just going raw dog shake this morning. A pedicurist mentioned to her that she had lovely feet and that if she would put them up on OnlyFans that she would be able to make a little bit of money out of it. Yeah. And so she just straight up did. She put them up and she revealed that she on WikiFeet make a little bit of money out of it. Yeah. And so she just straight up did. She put them up and she

revealed that she on WikiFeet has a perfect 5 out of 5 star rating. Now you know I'm currently sitting at a 4. Actually, I'll check that. You're on WikiFeet. I'm on WikiFeet. Okay, yeah. I'm not into feet, but those are... Nice feet. Nice feet. So here's Lily Allen's feet. Vaughn, are you a

footy kind of a guy? Um... Well, you don't want manky feet. She's got long... In the, are you a footy kind of a guy? We don't want manky feet. In the head of the moment, I'd suck a toe, but I'm not turned on by them if I see them in public. Yeah, right, right. It's not a fetish for you. Nah. She's got long toes like me.

Yeah, she does have quite long toes. She does have very nice feet, And even the hands are very nice. Yes, nice feet and hands. So she put it up right on her fans. Perfect nail to finger ratio. Yeah. Hey, so I've got that too. What about people that have those little stubby nails?

Yeah, I've got long nails. Do you know what I mean by that? Like a little stubby nail. Yeah, like a toe fingers. Fletch, do you do your cuticles? No, what are you talking about? Look at this guy's fingers. It's because I don't do your cuticles? No, what are you talking about? Look at this guy's fingers. It's because I don't do his cuticles.

Does he do any hard work? These, darling, are the result of zero manual labour. Show me your hands, Vaughan. Yeah, those are working men's hands, but they're still good. Yeah. I don't clean under my nails perhaps as much as I should, but I like that. It means I've done something.

Hers are nice. She's got very nice hands. So she put it up on OnlyFans. I think I'm more of a hands guy than a feet guy. Yeah, me too. And then she posted on her Instagram and her Twitter and that, being like, hey, here's a link to my OnlyFans. And then some people came back being like,

someone messaged saying, how embarrassing. Imagine being one of the biggest pop stars, musicians in Europe and then being reduced to this. She came back on that and said, imagine being an artist, having nearly 8 million monthly listeners on Spotify, but earning more money from having 1,000 people subscribe to pictures of your feet. Don't hate the play, I hate the game.

Wow, okay. So she's making more on OnlyFans and Spotify. So she charges $10 a month. She's got 1,000 followers. That's 10 grand a month on OnlyFans than Spotify. So she charges $10 a month. She's got 1,000 followers. That's 10 grand a month on OnlyFans, right? She has 7.5 million monthly listeners on Spotify, which plays out at 0.003 cents per stream to artists. Wow.

I mean, unless you're someone like Taylor Swift or Adele or Ed Sheeran, you're not making any money off Spotify. Yeah. So she was like, I'm happy. I'm happy doing this. Guys, I think I might be into hands. I think you've unlocked a fetish. Now, I'm just going to check my... I just Googled hottest celebrity hands.

There's a subreddit called Celebrity Hands. We might all have to turn to OnlyFans and put our hands and our feet on there because Spotify are putting their prices up. Oh, my God. Did you see that? I did. Why?

I don't know. Did they feed us some bullshit about research and development? $19 a month. It's cocked. Hey, people have added more photos to my Wiki feed. There's way more. They've gone through Instagram and got some more. Are you still four out of five?

Four out of five. Oh my God, that's so crazy. That's a little bit creepy. It's a little bit creepy. It's a little bit creepy. So people have gone onto your social media posts. Yeah, and they just take any that have my feet in them. Even including one that's so manky because I had been marching all summer

and my feet were all cut up. They put that. Four out of five though. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Well, you'd be mad if it was a two or a three. Four out of five equates to a rating of nice feet. Nice feet.

So check me out on wikifeet.com forward slash Hayley underscore Sprout. And maybe soon OnlyFans. And maybe soon. And you can still arrange Hayley's feet by price. Lowest to highest. Yeah. That's not something that's going to be offered

on the supermarket websites if you do your online shopping. Oh yeah, we talk about this next. This is ridiculous. People are pissed. Play ZM's slash Vaughn and Hayley. Did an online shop at the weekend. Nice.

Never get them to do my fruit and veg. No. They give you the dud produce. They do. They give you the green nanas. They give you the, you guys, this isn't a problem for you, but they'll give me nanas that are a week off being good. Can you put a comment on your order?

Brown nanas, please. Yes. Big. And they'll always give you the skinny cucumbers. Yeah, no. Yeah. Yeah. Nah.

I thought I ordered five onions, but I ordered five kgs of onions. That's a lot of onions. Man. You get through them. But anyway, somebody has noticed, and it has become quite the story, that foodstuffs have removed the sort by price feature on the New World and Pack and Save website.

So you can't automatically let go, milk, sort by price, cheapest. It's all the same white stuff from cows, isn't it? Which if you were buying like a KG of cheese, there'd be so many different brands. Cheese, forms, rights. You're just going to be like,

oh, I know that brand. Just click. It looks cheap. That's so manipulative. They should add sort by price. They should also add sort by price by weight. Because, you know, like a kg of cheese might work out to whatever per 100 grams.

But if you buy 500 grams of cheese, it might be cheaper that week if there's a special. Yeah. That's what I think that should be. It's like how they always have the price per 100 or whatever on the price tags, but then sometimes they're different. Like you've always got to check. Yeah, you've always got to check and do the math.

They'll say price per kg on one thing and then price per 100 grams on the other. And you're just like, I'm not going to mass. Give me the same thing. Spell it out to me. I are dum-dum. That's like when you try to add up your calories and it says calories per serve and then it's like 43 grams as a serve and you're like, well, that's a stupid amount of serve. That's so cheeky. That's a move, isn't it?

It's naughty. It is a naughty move. Yeah, it's naughty. It's cheeky. Have they come out and said anything? No. Because I imagine they'll put it back today, right? Because this is... They said it's being upgraded, but that was all. And then, yeah, it's going to be put back. It'll be put back. It's not going to be put back today.

It's going to be put back. Most people are all like, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of blowing up. Rightly so. I went through a period of online shopping, but I don't now. I love doing the groceries. Supermarket. Yeah, I put in my headphones. I love doing the groceries. Supermarket. Yeah, I put on my headphones, I stroll around, have a little looky-looky.

What's there to look at? Lying stuff I don't need. That's the good stuff. Yeah, but that's when your $50 shop becomes a $120 shop. You're like, there's not even two meals in here. When was the last time you did a $50 shop? Never. What did you buy?

Some luncheon? I did the other day. I went in and I literally got deodorant and two other things and it was $50. Yeah. Deodorant is the kicker. When you go to buy deodorant

or oil. That's the one. When you run out of olive oil and you're like, I need some olive oil. You're not cooking with olive oil though, are you? Sometimes I do.

I know. I'll smack you. I'll smack you back. You're going to get a smack. I know. It's got a low smoke point I know It's got a very low smoke point

I know Changes the oil completely Shouldn't be cooked with Fine I'll go back to Get a rice bran Oh Have some respect

Go back to your lard I'm gonna go back to my duck fat I'm gonna go back to my duck fat Yeah yeah yeah Duck fat I'm gonna make a duck fat omelette today Whoa I wouldn't be mad about that

I actually just heard it come out of my mouth And went What else is going in the omelette To compliment the duck fat Some sort of meat today. Whoa. I wouldn't be mad about that. I actually just heard it come out of my mouth. What else is going in the omelette to complement the duck fat? Some sort of meat. I need some sort of meat. Or am I getting some duck? Am I getting duck and doing like a mung bean spring

onion duck kind of an egg sort of Asian style pancake with some hoisin? Are we just doing duck pancakes? By the sounds of it. Are we going to a Chinese restaurant now and getting Peking duck? Chopping up potato and cooking the potato in the duck fat, then taking the potato out, then making the omelette and pouring the potato in. Because I guess the point of having an omelette for lunch

is sort of for it to be a healthy choice. What you've just done there is made duck fat potatoes and put some eggs on top. Your Honour, the defence rests. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley This is something my mum does all the time Because my mum, she has renovated houses my whole life

And constantly is getting new things and ripping things out It's the classic free sign That you put out on the front berm. Okay. And then you just give stuff away. And you've made one. I've made one. Okay, what are you giving away?

Pots. What, like cooking pots? No, plant pots. Plant pots, yeah. Some more sort of outdoor pots. Okay. Some river rocks. I've got some good stuff to give pots. Okay. Some river rocks. I've got some good stuff to give away.

River rocks. Maybe just put them back in the river. Nah, river's too far away. It's a whole house back. Why do you have river rocks to give away? No, because the old owner just thought they were great to put things to bury under soil. Yeah, so we've been digging up all of his rocks

and putting them out, But I'm really excited. That's nice. Sometimes they're nice rocks. I like a rock. Okay. No, I think it was his alternative to moving them was just to bury them and then plant yuccas on top. I've got the same approach with asbestos.

Yeah, yeah, bury it. Well, it came from the earth. I'm just simply returning it from where it came. Yeah, I don't know if that's what you should do. We'll see. I found a bit of wood, like a bit of, I think it was like an old bit of shelving or something from a unit. And I found a pink spray can from,

we've been doing some marking for some piles and stuff. You know how surveyors do that with the spray. And I wrote free and a really cool handwriting. And today I get to put it out and put out my wares. I feel like a witch in a market. Who's going to pick this stuff up? It sounds like crap. Like you don't want it? It's not crap. Some of the pot plants are

good. Wait, are there actually plants in them? No. Oh, okay. I've taken the plants. Okay. They're just empty pots. But what kind of like terracotta? Some quality ones, some indoor, some terracottas, some indoor ones. We've got some pink ones, some yellow ones because that's not the colour combination of our house. Didn't you have a skip last week?

Yeah, and that's why these have all come out, because we're going, oh, we need to get rid of them. But, you know, it can't all go to landfill, actually. It's actually really good. It's good. Yeah. So the only thing is our street is not very... It's not a therapy.

Yeah, well, it's kind of, but it's... You could be sort of out there to put a post on the community page Then everyone knows where you live Yeah Yeah I could I could just take a photo and be like saw this on The street Or you could put it up as an anonymous

Yeah anonymous look at these sick pots For free These river rocks aren't in a river anymore That's crazy Thinking of heading down to the river today aren't in a river anymore. That's crazy. Thinking of heading down to the river today? Don't bother. I've got rocks right here for free. Somebody might want to put some river rocks in their bathroom.

On the windowsill. On their bathroom? I don't know. People love to put beach rocks on there. River rocks are huge. I'm talking boulders. I've got boulders. Oh, right.

Boulders. I might be into some boulders. Because, you know, did I tell you about this? Come to my market. Why don't you just put them in the boot and drive them to a river and re-home them in their natural environment? We literally live along a river, yeah. Yeah, I suppose so.

Make a sort of a ceremony of it. Returning them to the wild. I could write bad thoughts on them. What? And then drown the bad thoughts. Yeah, like. I could write bad thoughts on them. What? And then drown the bad thoughts. Yeah, like I could write negative thoughts and throw them ceremoniously, ceremonially into the river. Oh, now I was thinking of calming, returning to their rightful.

Yeah, I know, but I could also get rid of bad thoughts. Or you could make a dam. Did you ever make a dam in a river as a kid? That was so much fun. Dude, how much fun? My river's too wide. I feel like we would, as adults, we don't do stuff that we'd be way better at now.

We can lift heavier rocks. I thought you were simply going to say- We can build better dams. I thought you were going to say, as adults, we don't build enough dams. We don't. Do you know, because- We don't dig enough holes on the beach.

I love digging a hole on a beach as an adult. I'll still dig a hole on the beach. Yeah, massive hole. I'll dig a hole and I'll put myself in it. Yeah, we went to Hot Water Beach at the start of the year. That was fun digging a hole. Yeah. Do you know, so this Water Beach at the start of the year. That was fun digging a hole. Yeah. Do you know,

so this is actually a little sort of a trial, a small scale trial because over summer I'm going to throw my very first garage sale. Oh really? I'm so excited.

I, as a person that worked at a petrol station where people came to get the free paper that told them where the garage sales were Yeah.

every week. Yeah. The sort of people that were turning up at sort of 5.30, 6 in the morning for we're about to do all the garage sales are not the sort of people you would be excited about meeting. No, I'm excited

because I want to do like a full thing. I might do a lemonade stand. The girls could come and make some money. You could put some eggs there. I'm going to have clothing racks full of good clothing. Right. A lot of renovation stuff

because once the house is done, I want it gone. I could sell hard-boiled eggs for $1 each. You could have a hard-boiled egg stand at my house. You know it's my dream to have a hard-boiled food truck. Music going. Fletch, what do you want to sell at my market day? What have you got to provide to my market day? Nothing.

What about a massage stand? This could be a whole... What about a kissing booth? Great. Great. Great. Over summer, I will be hosting a garage sale at which you can get old vintage clothing, renovation gear, hard-boiled eggs from Vaughan

or a kiss from Fletch. I'm not kissing people. Welcome to my market day. You've got your kissing booth. Sounds like fun. It's going to be popular. Play. ZM.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. It's going to be popular. Play. ZM. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Hello there. Helen Mirren in an interview for this article says the third time has referenced technology that Kurt Cobain missed out on and how sad it makes her. This time in particular, GPS.

Made me laugh so much. Driving, walking, maps. Do you know, because the technology's been there for a while, like the satellite stuff, but then a law passed in the US in the year, like, 2000. Oh, yeah. Which meant that those satellites could be for public use. Because they were for military, weren't they, before?

Yeah, it was military technology. And then they just opened it up and, of course, changed it completely. Changed the whole game. Yeah. And now you get your internet from and, of course, changed it completely. Changed the whole game. Yeah. And now you get your internet from the satellites. I get my satellites. Yeah, I do. Elon Musk.

I do. Big fan, are you? Big fan. Huge supporter. Wow. Huge fan. I do often think when I'm driving around, how did I ever, ever do this before Google Maps?

How? It's wow. Ring my mum. Literally ring my mum. Get her to go on maps.com or whatever. Put it in. Or print it out. And be looking being like where's this street? I remember

having a map book when I first moved to Auckland and you'd be like. Can I look up the street? Yeah. Crazy. Fun. H4. H4 yeah. So there it is there. So you've got to go left on here and then look out for this one. And it was so good.

Like now it'll tell you if a road's closed. You never knew that before. You just turned up and you're like, ah, goddammit, road's closed. I know, but it still can't keep up with Christchurch, can it? No. Still like turn left, you're like, I can't, mate. What can? Well, I've got the top six other things Kurt Cobain would have loved.

Technology wise. And it placed sixth. Adobe Flash. Well, I've got the top six other things Kurt Cobain would have loved, technology-wise. And it placed sixth. Adobe Flash. Adobe Flash is a multimedia platform created by Macromedia and currently developed and distributed by Adobe Systems. It was released in 1996. You know Kurt Cobain would have loved that. He would have done a music video on it. He would have loved it, yeah.

He would have loved the flashing graphics. He would have loved it. He would have loved, yeah. Java, he would have loved that. He would have done a music video on it. He would have loved it, yeah. He would have loved the flashing graphics. He would have loved it. He would have loved, yeah. Java, he would have loved. That's gone now, eh? We don't have that. We don't have JavaScript. How good is it we don't have to be installing Adobe things?

Yeah. Adobe Flash every second day. Flash and Java. Second day. And then they just got rid of it, eh? It's like, good. I know. We don't need it.

Good. Or it's still there, but we don't have to deal with it. Yeah, I don't know. Number five on the list of the top six things Kurt Cobain would have loved, YouTube. Yeah. Well, he's all over it, isn't he? Yeah, he is.

He's all over it, whether he likes it or not. 2005. Great time. Born from the PayPal mafia in 2005. The what? The PayPal mafia. Okay. The people that started PayPal.

Yeah. Wasn't that Elon Musk? Isn't that how he made his money? Early PayPal? He was a Paypal-er, wasn't he? I think he did it all. In 2006, Google bought YouTube for $1.65 billion. Sure.

A year after it started. A mission starting something, and then a year later it was worth a billion dollars. Yeah, that's nuts. Number four on the list of the top six things Kurt Cobain would have loved. The iPhone. Of course, the initial iPhone released in 2007

in June. And then what are we up to now? 16. Yeah. From just the iPhone to the iPhone 16. He would have loved that. He would have loved that. Number three on the list of the top six things Kurt Cobain would have loved. He just missed this by a year

Match.com As the first ever online dating site And the number one most visited dating site in the US Where of course he was based Because it was on the rocks Him and Courtney were done He probably would have been looking for Yeah

A lady love Insane to think his daughter now Has a baby with Tony Hawk's son Yeah That is the most 90s child eh And their wedding was officiated by Michael now has a baby with Tony Hawk some. Yeah. That is the most 90s child, eh? And their wedding was officiated by Michael

Stipe from R.E.M. Yeah. That's the most 90s thing ever. It's perfection. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six

things Kurt Cobain would have loved? Playstations 1 through 5. No. He would have had a Sega. He would have had a

Sega. He would have loved it. But the PlayStation came out in 1995, September 1995. Oh, wow. have had a Sega. He would have had a Sega. He would have loved it. But the PlayStation came out in 1995, September 1995. Oh, wow. It was the first ever PlayStation. Wow.

And now we're up to PlayStation 5 and he never got to do any of it. Yeah. Never. Never. Never touched that next generation gaming console. He would have loved Fortnite. He would have. You know?

He would have been like, yeah, get me a skin. Like, I want a Kurt Cobain skin from Fortnite. Oh, he would have loved it. He would have. He would have been like, yeah, get me a skin. Like, I want a Kurt Cobain skin from Fortnite. He would have loved it. He would have loved it. And number one on the list of the top six things Kurt Cobain would have loved. The ring doorbell. Oh, with the camera. Oh, yeah.

See who's at the door. Yeah, ring doorbell first invented in 2013 by Jamie Siminoff. Got turned down by Dragon's Den, didn't they? Idiots. And then they went and made it a successful company and the global smart doorbell market is now valued at $2.6 billion. That's not bad.

That's crazy. And he would have loved that. He would have loved to have known who was at the door. Ding dong. And he would have picked up his iPhone, number four on the list. Yeah. And he would have been like, oh, I better shut down Match.com, number three on the list.

Yeah. No Adobe Flash needed here, number six on the list. Yeah. Well, it's all connected. He missed us. Oh, wow. That was meta. You connected everything.

My PS apps open. I'm just watching some clips I've been from my PlayStation, and now I'm looking at my smart doorbell. Wow. He would have loved all of this. He would have loved it all. That's the last option. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

There's a wedding service provider-y sort of search engine website where you go and you can find vendors and this and that and inspiration. You could find a food truck for my wedding. Yeah, you could. Heck yeah. What kind of food? Dry lamb. I'm going to go dry lamb. It's not really tacos.

No, tacos. I would be so happy. Tacos slopping down your bloody nice shirt. I don't care. I'd do it. A taco food truck at a wedding?

Yes. Big long paper bibs. Yeah, big paper bibs. You've got to go chicken. Fried chicken of some kind. Yeah, that too. We're all happy about fried chicken.

Yeah. So they're called Breeze It. They're an online search tool that allows people to find all these things. They did a big study. They went through all of the most popular, like, generic wedding playlists, like dance floor playlists on Spotify to find what was the most popular,

what, you know, what is always on these playlists. Yeah. Top five. We've got In Fifth, September by Earth, Wind & Fire. Fourth is Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Now, we're not upset about either of those. Bangers. Third place surprised me.

Hit Spin It, DJ. No, this is second, you nincompoop. This is second place. Oh, no, I've messed up the list. You're the worst, Mr. DJ. I hate you so much. You hate ABBA so much that you've slipped second into third.

So this was second, Dancing Queen by ABBA. Third is what surprised me. Yeah! It is one of those songs though that when is the end of the night? People do love this song. It is one of those songs though that Usher, Usher, Usher When is the end of the night?

Like people do love this song It's great Now the first, my first That I would always want to hear at a wedding Is of course the Grease medley But it was not even included in the top five Really? Disgusting Why this car is automatic

And then it goes on and does the whole thing No, it's cheesy No, the first song is a great song. This was the number one most popular song on wedding playlists. Really? It's The Voice, Whitney. I want to dance with somebody. Dance with somebody.

Woo! I mean, it's a good banger. Yeah. Like, we're all dancing. And it's one of those songs that every generation knows as well. Exactly. Like, you know, your grandparents, everyone. I don't think Nanny's getting up to Pink Pony Club just yet.

No, she's already gone home probably in an early taxi. Had too many bloody bailies. But yeah, it's the old classics. I'm sure this top five would be around for another 10 years at least before it gets replaced. Remember last week we made our playlist. Yes. Songs guaranteed

to save a party. Yeah. You're past the phone. You've got to play one song that saves the party. To be fair, that would be a great wedding playlist as well.

It'd be a great wedding playlist as well. Mixed bag, different generations are happy. Keep your guessing, you never know. And amazingly,

we followed through and put that online. We did it so it was wherever you get your podcasts, wherever you get your playlists. Wherever you stream your music. Can you crank Whitney Plays? I'm sick of your voice, I want hers. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Okay, there was a woman sharing she was was doing a get ready with me. Okay. Do you know I thought about doing one of these the other day? The thought sort of crossed my mind that people would want to see me wash my face. Do you know how much I hate them? Yeah.

The very idea of them? Yeah. It was ridiculous. Get ready with me. And get ready. Maybe I should do one. We were just talking off air and this is a timely reminder to get your prostate, your cervix, and your colon checked if that is something you need to do.

You've got another colonoscopy coming up. My annual. Yeah, your annual flush. My annual anal flush. Yeah. And maybe I could do a get ready with me. Get ready with me to have a look. For my colonoscopy.

To scrape polyps out of my colon. I'm using this product here as a base. That kind of stuff. I'm drinking this stuff that doesn't taste nice, and in about an hour and a half, it's going to make me explosive at the other end. Put my brain out. Anyway, this woman was doing a Get Ready With Me,

and she was telling a story about her dating life, which she described as similar to her waist, non-existent. Which I sort of liked. Haven't been through a lot of winter myself. But she told a story of she bought something on Marketplace and went to go pick it up. It was a camera. Went to go pick it up from this person's house,

opened the door, and she describes him as fine as hell. Oh, okay. I know, and she was like, luckily, I was heading out, so I already had like a full face. I looked good as well So she took the camera And then did something That I feel like I would do

Which was I'd be able to say Thanks And then give him a hug You know when you sort of Get too friendly too quickly Thanks No A little hug

No I don't like it No Anyway they had a hug This is why marketplace is weird You're full of weirdos They had a hug They both found a little bit of a spark, but didn't say anything.

So, in a way, it was like, okay, well, enjoy your day. You enjoy your day. Damn. Then she had the gall to text him and say, oh, this may be crazy. Would you want to go on a date? They went on a date. After just having this little spark and a hug. Right.

How cute's this? A marketplace romance. A little marketplace, you know, meet up. I mean, I certainly would imagine there'd be loads of people out there that have been creeped on a message by someone who went to pick up a coffee table from guys, but not the other way around, and not it ending in actual romance. And I've taken your table where you would have your coffee. Maybe I can take you out for one.

Oh, why did my voice make that go creepy? I don't know. I think even the radio was repulsed. Yeah, yeah. I was like, still! No, thank you. So yeah, she just texts, would it be crazy to grab a coffee with the girl that you met for five minutes today? And he was like, absolutely. I'm trying to go on her page to see a little, like

how was the date? Because she's pretty, so I'm assuming he's pretty. That'd be nice. Oh, that video's her dad. I'm just looking at that. I think that's her dad. So no picture of the guy? No, the latest one is get ready with me.

I'm so sorry. Get ready with me to choose an outfit for this date. So I'll keep you posted, but I'll probably forget about this and I won't. It's actually sparked an idea in me. Where's the strangest place that you met someone? Maybe you met your now partner. Maybe you met your now partner not on the apps or not in the clubs, which are your two standing places.

Like it went, that's before the apps. It was, this is how you just meet people, isn't it? Parties. Yeah, parties and through friends. Through friends, university, workplaces. But now these are the rare stories where you actually meet someone in public. Maybe this happened to you. You bought something off of someone and there was a bit of a spark.

You texted. Maybe it was at the supermarket because you left your bananas up that funny way. Yeah. Oh, my God. But you knew what you were doing. For example, I met my now husband at the supermarket checkout. A new checkout opened. You know, when you're standing in line, you're like, oh.

Yeah. Someone says, we're open. And he was in front of me, and he let me go first. The rest is history. Husband. Fantastic. Whereas I just would have pushed right in and would have missed. Would have been like, move.

Yeah. Get out the way. And would have missed out. Okay. Yeah. On a wife. Dan. This is what you've been doing wrong. This is why you

don't have a wife. You would have got a hot chook and you would have been home a little bit earlier. Yeah, exactly. Who needs a wife, eh? You've got a bachelor's handbag. When you've got a chicken in an empty house. It's great protein, Vaughan, it's great protein. Hey! It's good protein, man. It's already cooked for you.

0800 Dan's it, and we want you to give us a call now. You can text through 9696. The weirdest place that you've met someone. Viv would like to know the strange places that you've met someone. Because someone had a little Facebook marketplace purchase, made a weird move and hugged the guy, left and thought that was weird, text him, they went on a date.

Now they're dating. TBC, how are the relationships going? Lots of messages in. Calls as well. Let's start. Tanya, the weird place you met someone. Hi. So my husband and I, we've been together for 37 years.

But we met when he came to my flat and was doing an inquiry on the burglaries around the area. Found out that it was my boyfriend at the time, who I thought was a good Christian boy. Oh, not a good Christian boy. A heathen. Wait, was he a cop? He was. He was, yeah. He was a cop at the time.

And then we kind of started stalking each other and ended up mutual friends introduced us at the nightclub. But yeah, he came to my flat to do inquiries. Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Was he in uniform when he came to your flat? Yes. Yeah. 37 years, you said.

37 years. So when you said we still had... Six grandchildren. Oh. Jesus, you got Christmas on the horizon. That's going to be expensive. Anyway, happy birthday. Ah, family.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. You said you stalked each other. This was obviously 37 years ago. That's old school stalking. Yeah, that's old school stalking. He would sort of, you know, hang around my flat to see if I was okay. Not in uniform.

Oh. And were you, like, come back in uniform? Whatever happened to the Christian boy that was stealing things? Yes! I don't know, I don't care. I don't care, I've got a hot cop. Oh, that's brilliant. Swap there. Tanya, great swap, thank you. Nikki,

the random place you met someone? So, I was working at the hardware store that Warren doesn't go to. Oh, man. Where in the hell? Oh, Nicky. Actually, just side, if I may have a sidebar, in like five or so minutes,

I'm going to tell you how you can win a $500 Mitre 10 voucher. Oh, okay. So just stay listening. Yeah, stay listening. Stay listening, dear listeners. Carry on, Nicky. I love a good day trip to Mitre 10. Yeah, we all.

Good, good. So I was working behind the trade desk, and I was told I had to find a date to my best friend's wedding. Oh, yeah. And originally I was going to put that guy's name in the hat and pull the name out and take that guy from the yard to the wedding. Yeah. But I was told to go on dating apps anyway.

I was working behind the trade desk and this guy came up and I thought he was pretty good looking and he kept like wanting to be first by me but I obviously didn't get the hint and I'd be like, what the hell? And we finally got on

our first date and seven years later we're still together. Oh, that's so nice. What kind of trader was he? Was he a builder? Yeah, he's a builder. Sparky's got a bit more cash. Oh, you reckon Sparky?

One's more into Sparky's, but, you know, each to their own, Nicky. You know Sparky. I'll take a builder. I mean, he doesn't do much building work around home. No, they never do. Never do. Nah. Well, it's like us. We don't go home. I mean, he doesn't do much building work around home. No, they never do. Never do. Nah. Well, it's fine, Cass.

We don't go home and radio announce, do we? I do to Aaron. Yeah, I do. I tell everybody what song that was. I'll tell Aaron a story and I'll say 605. Give us a call. Yeah, give us a call. $100 a year.

I always say coming up. Yeah, yeah, nice. Coming up this afternoon at home. Thanks. You're called Nikki. Nikki Phoenix, the weird place you met someone. coming up. Yeah, yeah, nice. Coming up this afternoon at home. Thanks to you, called Nicky. Phoenix, the weird place you met someone.

Yeah, so, my mum was on the train. Oh. Apparently, no. Yeah, yeah. So we, the short version is I had a boobaboy race a car

a long time ago and we, I got a bit silly and I lost my licence and the first trip to the uni I was going to caught the train, sat down next to a cute girl and nine years later with a three

year old we're still pretty good. Oh my god. We love these stories. What a great twist to losing your licence. I know, I know. It kind of brunded up a bit. It wasn't an immediate red flag when you sat down and said, I've lost my licence?

Yeah. Or did you withhold that? No, no, no. Well, she's into the motorsport as well, so it was kind of another green flag. So she'd lost hers as well, right? It was green. No one could drive. It was chicken flags all round.

Wow. Yeah. Thanks, thank you. Some messages in. At the Wild Food Festival, busting for the loo, was a girl I'd met earlier one place behind me. We were chatting and it was going well. It became my turn to go into the portal and I said to the lady between us

that she could go before me. She turned to the girl I was talking to and said, your boyfriend is so nice. But we weren't. We hardly knew each other. 25 years of marriage and three kids later. Amazing. I met someone at the airport in

China, eight hour layover. He was from New Zealand but moving to Australia. I flew to Australia a month later to see him. It wasn't good. Oh, I got excited. So just bumping in at an airport and then flying to see them. It's like a movie or something. Oh my gosh. Was it a mate's

house for crate day? Oh gosh. As all good New Zealand romances start. Yeah. He was texting me saying one of his friends just left upset not long after this guy comes to the house party I'm at. Oh, they left. Oh, yeah. They left the party.

They left the crate day party, went to a house party, and saying, oh, I just came from that house. We dated for eight months. Oh, yeah. Crate party. Crate day. Yeah, nice. Crate day.

Nothing like a sloppy crate day to really get the sparks flying. You know, I like to be kissing a man, open mouth, lots of tongue, and he burps line right into my mouth. Yeah, me too. That's what I like. I'm like. To their own vaunt. Yeah.

Save that for later. I met my husband in a new subdivision racing go-karts. Oh. Okay, when they've got the road down and there's no houses in there that would be great Mario Kart yeah that's pretty cool

then found out he used to come to my workplace every day to try to ask me out aww 20 years later two kids aww

yeah romance we met at a table we met at a table for six I think you're gonna say we're at a Taylor Swift concert nope table for six 19 years ago been married going to say we're at a Taylor Swift concert. Nope. Table for six.

19 years ago, been married for 17 and have three kids. Oh. Sorry, I just choked on how sweet that is. My now partner and baby daddy,

that's one person I assume, not some sort of throuple. My now partner and baby daddy fixed my bike at the bike shop. Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, isn't that nice? Yeah. And then some people are like, nah, you don't want to be with a Sparky. Sparky's a messy buggers. Yeah, messy buggers is a very funny way of describing it. Cut wires.

Someone else will clean that up. I'm a Sparky. I've got to get to the bloody beach house. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Spark, spark, spark, spark. Oh, let the hairy do that.

Does he know what he's doing? No. Hey, well, he's got to learn sometime. Oh, my time. Cool. Anyway, I've got to go to the bloody beach house. Apologies to our

Sparky listeners. We want to get there. We want to get the bloody launch. Shots fired. Shots fired here from Vaughan. We want to get the launch out on the waterway

before all the other Sparkies get here. Shots fired from someone that can't wire or build anything. Yeah, that's right. Nah. No, I can't.

He potters. Shots fired from a potter. That was just me. I was teaming up with all the other tradies. I was teaming up with all the other tradies and we were getting

stuck under the sparkies. No, you're actually embarrassing yourself, Vaughn. Turn up in their European vans. Alright, calm down. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

Enjoyed some beautiful Aotearoa at the weekend. Motowai Beach, one of my favourite places I think in the entire country. Stornam? Yeah, you can drive down the beach. Because you can drive on the beach, right? Yeah, you can just drive and you just

cruise on along and then some dude in a Nissan Safari blows past you at a million miles an hour and you're like, yeah, that's the sort of driving that's going to get banned on driving on the beach ban. Running over some penguin nests, no doubt. Yeah, no, you don't go anywhere near the dunes. Then I saw some guys on motorbikes in the dunes and I'm like, clearly it's signposted

that we're not supposed to be in the dunes. Don't be in the dunes. What's the colony there? There's a bloody seagull colony. Gannets up on the rocks. But you can't get your car up where the gannets are. Can't get gannets up there. Dune life is very important.

And there's birds nesting in there and all sorts of, you know, plants and such. It's not for the faint of heart, that beach. I don't swim in there. Because it's my closest beach. But when I swim in there, I swim there sometimes. Between the flags, I wouldn't go where you drive down in your cars. I certainly wouldn't swim unsupervised. Yeah, you've got to have flat tops.

Into the knees, tops. Into the knees, tops. Into the knees. Wade. You can wade. Tops. I wouldn't even do that thing where I went into my waist and crouched down and did a wheeze.

I wouldn't do that out there. You wouldn't even do that. Rogue wave. Yeah. You know, undulating surface under the water. Great word. Thank you. So I was parked out there, threw the ball for the water. Great word. Thank you. So I was parked out there, threw the ball for the dogs,

put a couple of pictures and videos on Instagram, and somebody messaged me saying, God, this makes me miss New Zealand. They lived here for a little while, but they were back in their home country overseas. Where was their home country? European. They just said European.

They didn't specify. Their country is Europe. Well, I said, oh, whereabouts in the world have you, like, headed back to? And they said Europe. That's so vague. Vague. Yeah.

Maybe they're embarrassed. No, but they could be embarrassed. They could be, like, one of the yuck European countries. Yuck Europe. Wait, what's yuck European countries? Well, nothing, actually. Nothing is yuck in Europe to me. I'm just going to look up worst country in Europe.

Very sort of, like like sitting on the fence just by saying Europe. That made me think Switzerland. Or like maybe they were French and didn't want to admit it. Because of our sordid past with the French. Yeah, with the Rainbow Warrior.

Like how we pretty much rolled in and saved their asses in World War II and then they tested nuclear bombs just outside and then bombed our beautiful Rainbow Warrior boat. Belarus?

They could be Belarusian. Nah, they didn't have... Belarusian? Yeah, maybe. Well, anyway. So anyway, they said, that makes me miss New Zealand and the bakeries. And I said, a piggy pub?

And they said, everyone in New Zealand takes for granted that other countries don't do bakeries like you guys. What do they eat? But if they do bakeries overseas, they'll be like, you go in and you buy bread or breadsticks or like plain croissants or something. That made me, now that I'm thinking back,

their explanation of that, that sounds French. Yeah, okay. That sounds French. But they said, you guys don't understand that no one does bakeries like you. With sandwiches and sausage rolls. Sandwiches, sausage rolls. Everything is in there. Chips. Sweets. Slices. Hot chips Chicken bits

Hot A G-Force Yes An E2 An E2 And some Monster Energy And a Lift Plus And a coffee milk drink

In a bottle Yes And then on the other side You've got steamed pork buns Chicken kebabs And even coffees And coffee Everything is in a bakery

And if you want a bacon If you want a bacon neck pie You can have a bacon neck pie If you want a bacon neck pie, you can have a bacon neck pie. If you want a cheese and bacon loaf, you can have one of those too. If you want plain bread, it's there, but you don't have to have it. You can have it with some fillings in it. Albeit the fillings are all rammed to the front to make the sandwich look big. And the back end of the sandwich is pretty empty, but there's a sandwich there. Because I'm just thinking, in Copenhagen, they're famous for their pastries and their slices,

but that's all you get. That's a delicatessen. And I was like, I've never thought about it. High-end. We like low-end bakeries. Yeah, you can go in with $10 and still get like a lunch. That's wild. Do you know what I love as well is that the rougher the bakery looks,

the better the pies. Do you know what I mean? The very unassuming bakery near us, Vaughan, the one that's won all the Supreme Pie Awards and all this stuff. Yeah. Very unassuming bakery. You've got to go through the flaps. You know what?

I don't want any English behind the counter. I want no English. I want no English. I want someone who's built something from the ground up and who arrived in this country on the bones of their ass and you look at them and you're like, that's a New Zealand success story. I want the kids to serve me and I want them to be proud of me.

Yeah, and I want those kids to not be paid. Yes, and I want to go through plastic flaps to get in. Oh, I don't know about the plastic flaps. And I want to be in a queue of tradies who are just there to eat a delicious pie. I want high-vis. If I'm in there and no one's wearing high-vis in the queue, that to me is not a good bakery. Not a good bakery.

Because they know. Yeah. But it's so true, isn't it? I know, and I was just like- When you travel, you don't get that overseas. Australia? You're never far from a bakery. Not a good bakery. Because they know. But it's so true, isn't it? And I was just like- When you travel, you don't get that overseas. Australia? You're never far from a bakery.

Yeah, they've got bakeries, but not like us. Not like that. They've got cafes. Yeah. They've got cafes. They don't have bakeries like us. We've got bakeries, baby.

That's what he does. Bakeries and dairies like New Zealand. Like in our- In like Kiumiu, Humapai, where I live, little West Auckland sort of like village.

Yeah. Village? Town? It is a town. It's a hamlet. It's a strip really. It is. I'd call it a blip. And there's, that's very rude.

How many bakeries? That bakery we're talking about, there's the bakery over the road. There's a bakery around the corner. That's the one next to Allen's. That's the one I like there. That one's, yeah, that's an unassuming looking bakery. There's the one by the gym. Then there's a little bit of a break. The country, whatever that is.

The bakehouse. The one by the gym and the laundromat. The bakehouse. Then there's the one over the The Wai Moku's got, yeah. The Wai Moku's got like three more. The problem is though, then if you correlate that to how fat we are. Shut your mouth. Why don't you shut your fat mouth? Why don't you shut your mouth and put a custard square in it because you can get a little bakery.

Or maybe you want a sausage roll. A big fat sausage roll or a little skinny sausage roll. I want a slice with biscuits in it. Yeah. I want a lemonade slice. And I'll tell you where I'll find one. A bakery. We don't know how lucky we are.

And we take it for granted. We take it for granted. We take it for granted, ladies and gentlemen, and I ask you to no longer sit idly by. Yes. And just be, you know, take these bakeries for granted, ladies and gentlemen, and I ask you to no longer sit idly by and just be, you know, take these bakeries for granted. I think we should go into our bakeries today and enjoy them and say to them, I appreciate you. And if they say no pay away, if you say no problem

and you insert the card. You insert it or you swipe. They want people going through as quick as possible, but they don't want to pay the 2.5% for paywall. Do you know what a bakery's good at? Giving them a $5 note and them giving you two twos and a one. You can always count on a bakery to give you two twos and a one. Why do you need two twos and a one?

Because sometimes I need coins. Maybe I'm doing a laundry wash. They're going to be doing an exchange of, that's just another service they offer. It's just another service. And we take it for granted. It's three o'clock in the morning. To make our pies.

To make pies and bread. This is why we haven't all left New Zealand like everybody else. We could go and earn thousands more overseas, but they won't give us our pies and our slices. When on Saturday, it's got a whale, man. It's 11.30. I don't have anything in the fridge to make a sandwich. No.

Where am I going? Bakery. You're damn right. Where am I going? Bakery. You're damn right. What am I don't have anything in the fridge to make a sandwich. No. Where am I going? Bakery. You're damn right. Where am I going? Bakery. You're damn right. What am I getting when I get there? A pie and a V.

You're damn right. What else? Maybe a slice. And a slice. Because I'm in a good boy and I need a treat. And a sandwich because there's a bit of lettuce in it. And it's a one-stop shop. Play ZM's Fletchforn and Hayley.

You may remember I shared with you and the listeners a list of things that etiquette expert William Hanson had said were very common. And we had a lot of fun with it. And then we worked out who he was. He's the guy that you see the clips of on social media and he does a podcast and it's very funny. And he always says we don't clink glasses.

We don't smash glasses together when we cheers. We simply raise it and say cheers like this. Little bits like that. I love a clink. I love a crack. I love a clink. Smack it. Dangerous clink.

We're just not classy, are we? We ain't classy, love. And that's all right. Now, he does have a podcast, Help, I Sexted My Boss. It's him and Jordan North. And he's the common man and he's the fancy man. It's so funny. You'll see clips of it all the time.

Yep. You're not going to laugh out loud every morning, Monday to Friday. Right. Take us with you wherever you go on the iHeartRadio app. Tick there. That's a KPI. I've just ticked there. Wow.

Short week. She's really ramming in those KPIs. Short week, I'm ramming them in. It turns out someone let us know on the international podcast family that they talked about us in their podcast. Susie and Bethan got in touch after hearing New Zealand radio hosts Fletch Vaughan and Hayley talk about us on their show ZM.

Oh, wow. Is this another one of those rude Australian DJs? Well, this is New Zealand, which is like Australia, just with a bit more class. Australian DJs. Here's the clip. Now, you would have seen this gentleman on Instagram.

Oh my God, I'm mocking his voice. He radiates gay. I seen this gentleman on Instagram. Oh my god, I'm mocking his voice. He radiates gay. I've seen him on Instagram for years. And he's got a podcast with like a common man. Yes. He's very self-aware. Right. Of his ponciness. Yep.

Ponsiness? He radiates gay. I mean, you do, but... How dare they? I'm wearing a pink cable knit. How dare they say I radiate gay? Common man. I think that was nice, wasn't that? Well, would you rather radiate gay or be referred to as a common man?

Tough one. Yes. The funny thing is, and I know that's coming from me. Hey! Leave Susan and Beth and... Oh, no. Fletch and Vaughn.

It was Susan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, come and give us a listen. Next time in the UK, come and say hello. Yes. Oh my god! The actual clip they did play a lot more. Yes. I cut it down a lot.

That is my first time hearing that. I forgot that I said you know, I'm mocking his voice and I say, radiates gay. Oh, my apologies William Oh my god We are common Aren't we? Because all we did was mock Their beautiful accents, they called us nasal

Now I've just heard that We know this It's not the first time And it's not the first time I've been told this Lovely though, we've been invited We can toast, not clink. No, when I get there, if he raises a glass, I'll be absolutely smashing it with my...

There's no way I'm going in. I'll be wearing track pants on my Birkenstocks and socks and... How very common. How very common. I know. But now we're in a podcast loop. I know. So we talked about it, thus putting it in our podcast,

and now I've put our podcast in their podcast. Now we've put their podcast in our podcast, in which our podcast is in their podcast. This is the loops. The loop is looping. We are looping. Well, we will extend the same invite to William and Jordan, the poncy gay radiator and the common man.

You're more than welcome any time you're in New Zealand to come say hi to us as well. I mean, it's more likely that we'll be over there than they would just be here. Long way to go. Long way to go. Bottom of the world. Or what did he call us?

Elegant Australia. I'll take that. We'll take that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I don't have one today, but yesterday I opened up Facebook Messenger And at the top

Where it tells me who's online This is on my phone This is not on the computer This is on my phone And it's got a picture of me And it says post a note Which I've done once Yep

And I don't see anybody else Using that feature ever again They could probably get rid of that I reckon Post a note What the hell is that? Should I share a thought? Okay. Well, you're actually number one on my people online list,

followed closely by Fletch. Whoa. Does it say I'm online? It says your name's at the top, and you've got a green dot beside your name. Oh, God, I'm going to hide that. What should I say in my note? Man, how good.

I reckon just for The sake of brevity Something real quick Just like a smiley face How good is cheese Yeah yeah yeah Okay that's good Share Alright I've shared that

Oh yeah just popped up Man how good is cheese Bet you put a full stop Not a question mark Or a statement Or a rhetorical Nah it's a statement It's a statement

How good is cheese Okay Also Carwin's actually My number one online person Your third born And fifth Fletch Ouch Ouch I think that's actually my number one online person. You're third born and fifth. Fletch. Ouch.

I think that's actually just who you've messaged recently, isn't it? It's not who's online. You mean Carwin talk all day, every day. No, it's who's online. Oh, mine's not. Because it's my little green dot of people who are online. Yeah, it's online. So, beside mine where it says post the note, your note,

and then in between that and where Hayley's, man, how good is cheeses? Yeah. There was this big- Is it popping off? Hang on, sorry. Is my note popping off? What's the feedback so far? Why, it's your note.

I don't know. You get- I just want to know the general feedback from the public, like how we loving it. Are people like, that's a funny observation. Is it not? Reply to your note. Vaughan gave me a laugh.

I laughed, but now you've disappeared from my messenger. So in there between my face and where Hayley's was, the position now taken by Fletch, my number one messenger buddy, in between there, there was a big vibrant picture. I just got another bit of feedback on my how good is cheese. Someone told me to F up. Oh, shivers.

Was it Fletch? It's Carl Fletcher. That's big Fletch energy's so mean He doesn't want everyone Knowing about how great Cheese is I'm trying What hasn't even got to The new feature

No because Tell me to F up You two keep blathering on That's so aggressive So between mine And my first place It was a big A vibrant picture

And I was like What the hell is that? And underneath it said Where it says people's names It said memories I was like What? So I was like Is this like hell is that? And underneath it said, where it says people's names, it said memories. I was like, what? So I was like, is this like telling me my memories, like my Facebook memories,

which I love to go in every single day and see what my kids were up to when they were little tiny babies. And I clicked on it. It's not. It's a photo that someone posted in a group chat. Yuck. And it says memories.

Yuck. I know. Memories from the gaggle. And it was a picture of Dr. Shawnee. No, we don't need that. No, we don't says memories from... No. I know. Memories from the gaggle, and it was a picture of Dr. Shawnee. No, we don't need that. No, we don't need memories from group chats. No, I wouldn't have thought so. We see things in group chats,

and then they're just, they're done with. Yeah. Now, someone at my other, my friend Nico's done a laugh face, and he says, gotta say, it depends on the cheese. Hayley, drop the cheese. So this is actually really popping.

I'm just saying, are we talking about the memories or the notes? Carwin, producer Carwin, you had a memory pop up in Messenger chat. Yeah, and I'll be honest and vulnerable. It was a picture of me and an ex from years and years and years ago. Wow. And I was like, oh, what is this? And yeah, down the bottom it said, shared in XYZ group chat.

And I was like, oh no, that's a group chat that hasn't been used since university oh no see that's the other thing it's going to dredge up all these group chats that you don't want to be a part of I don't want that

now fun tip you can go to the little dots and click hide all memories from this chat and that's what I did wait where's the dots it was on the picture when you opened it

but I don't have this yet I don't have this feature do you know I still don't have millennial font on my Instagram oh I'm so disappointed every time do I have millennial font no I haven't looked I yet. I don't have this feature. Do you know I still don't have millennial font on my Instagram? Oh, huh? I'm so disappointed every time. Do I have millennial font? No.

I haven't looked. I've got millennial font. I stick with the Trident. You're gutted, man. I'm gutted. What's that one I always use and it's the same and I put a black background so you can see the writing every single time. Yeah.

I do the same one and it's embarrassing me. Oh, you want to get with the millennials? You'll get it one day. I'm sorry. I'm just waiting for more feedback on my man. How good is cheese note? I don't know if you're going to get it. I don't know if you're going to get with the millennials. I'm sorry. I'm just waiting for more feedback on my man. How good is cheese note? I don't know if you're going to get it. I don't know if you're going to get it.

But I would just say hide. Hide all. Hide all. And that's not going to hide it from somebody else who might then spark up the group. I know. But they're like, ah, hey, guys, remember this? No. Let the past be the past.

Yeah. Okay? We are in the future. That is the past. And ne'er shall the two meet. Especially with group chats. Yeah. We've seen some things. I mean, we are in the future. That is the past and ne'er shall the two meet. Especially with group chats. Yeah. We've seen some things.

I mean, we know how bad comments age. Yeah, exactly. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. A lovely lady called Megan met a man called Lord Bertie. What? Wait, what? Here's the whole story. Megan met Lord Bertie online,

hit it off straight away. A relationship sprung. First dates, showered with gifts, extravagant dinners at fancy restaurants, champagne, luxury three-course meals, everything. She was like, how are you a lord? He claims that his great-great-grandfather had invented the Underwood typewriter,

and that's where his name and all of his money came from. He's from money. Relationship progressed rapidly, showering her with gifts, cars, dogs. After a while, Megan moved into his beautiful house, which he claimed to have bought at auction. Yeah. Six months, Lord Bertie proposes with a five carat Cartier diamond ring on Christmas day. Is this in England?

In the UK, yeah. Oh, yeah, because he's a lord. Lord Bertie. You know when you watch The Gentleman? Yeah. Yes, yeah, yeah. And they're all lords. They're all lords.

Yeah, it's great. Just because they're massive landowners. Yeah. Yeah. But everyone is like, oh my God, he's a lord. Yeah. They love it. So six months in, he proposes with a five carat Cartier diamond ring. Yeah. We everyone is like, oh my god, he's a lord. Yeah. They love it. So six months in, he proposes with a

five carat Cartier diamond ring. We're talking money, right? And she's like, oh my god, this is incredible. Two months out from the wedding, she's like, something's up. Surely Lord Bertie. I mean, things are going quite fast here. They're going fast. He hasn't really

had time to do any due diligence. No. So she notices a few suspicious things happening, one of which is a huge amount of mail coming to their house under completely different names. Oh. And it just starts arriving. And she's like, what is all this about? And he's like, it'll just be, you know, previous owners.

She's like, under like eight names? So she starts investigating. Oh, Lord Bertie. Lord Bertie is, in. Oh, Lord Bertie. Lord Bertie is in fact not Lord Bertie. Lord Bertie is a fraudster who has scammed people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, including herself. She found out he'd racked up $60,000 worth of debt under her name. Became very defensive. Not only that, but once the true identity was revealed,

what's his name? I was just looking it up. His name is Robert Medetsky. He was also revealed because her mum put on Facebook that my daughter's been seeing this guy and we've discovered all of this. And people started contacting her, including several men who revealed that they had been sleeping with him in their bed at their house.

Oh my God. Oh, bloody birdie. Wedding's cancelled. Two months out from the wedding. Wedding is cancelled. So wait, how long was the point? Was it only six months they'd been together? Six months together.

Oh wow, okay. And then only a few more months before they were planning to wed, but two months out she discovered all of this. Well, at least she found out two months before the wedding, not a day before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she obviously separated from him.

She has worked over the last couple of years to pay off the debt herself because there's kind of nothing she could do. He went to prison. He's on the run. He escaped last year. Is this why this news story is like a thing again? Yeah, because he's still on the run.

That's why I was Googling his name before. He has not been found. He escaped from prison in the UK. He was sentenced to five years under the alias Lord Bertie Underwood. But his real name is Robert. Anyway, what a crazy thing to find out about someone just before you're about to commit, before the Lord himself, to spending the rest of your days with this person, I want to know what did you find out just before the wedding?

Because secrets will be revealed. And then the pressure cooker of a wedding, I think, sometimes sort of squeezes these out like a whitehead. I'm also keen to hear about the little things that kind of popped up. Like you might have been going over the wedding menu and they're like, oh, no, we don't do prawns because. Oh, yeah. But how do you know someone doesn't like prawns

if you've been engaged in them for years? Well, maybe it's just never come up. Yeah. Maybe it's never come up. Or what about when you're going to pick your wedding cake and you're like, obviously, the base layer needs to be a fruit cake. What? It can't be chocolate.

It's too soft. It's too moist for the base. That's why they have fruit cake on the bottom. That's why you have fruit cake. We'll make a fake cake on the bottom. We're not doing fruit cake. Just do a pot of styrene. Just do one layer cake on the bottom. We're not doing fruitcake. Just do a one layer chocolate.

No, we're not doing fruit. This is what I'm saying. You find out just before the wedding that I don't like fruitcake. This isn't working anymore, is it? This isn't working after 20 something years. Oh, I don't like fruitcake. It's a stabilizer on the bottom. It's a spicy Christmas fruitcake.

You're disgusting. Come on, guys. Everybody's got wrapped in marzipan, you old nanny. You nanny old lady. Okay, well, we want to know the thing that... Big or the little. Yeah, the big or the little discovery you made about the person you were just about to marry.

Because you make a good point. You hear these stories of people that find out that the bridesmaids, you know, sleeping with the groom, and it does come to a head because maybe the bridesmaid's like, I can't let this happen. Yeah, the bridesmaid's like, I gotta let you know. What about if it's just before the wedding you find out that they've been previously married because you go to get the wedding certificate and they can't be doing it because they're still technically married. Yeah, juicy. Yeah, fantastic. We need to get the paperwork sorted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it later. Yeah, we'll come to it.

Okay, well 0800 DALZAN. Do it later. Yeah, we'll come to it. We'll come to it. Okay, well, 0800-DARLS-N-M is the number. Give us a call. Text through 9696. What did you find out about your partner just before the wedding? Yeah, whether it was something big or little. Like a secret family or little, like a secret prawn allergy. What did you discover about your partner just before you married them? Were they a fraudster who had been sleeping with men in your marital bed?

Like this woman. And called Lord. And called himself Lord Bertie Underwood. Yeah. However, his name was Robert. Yeah, Lord Bertie Underwood's fantastic. I'm loving the amount of text messages that come in with, don't call me, Colin, to start with them.

I love that. Sore points. Don't call me. But it would be. You spend all this time with someone and then just before the wedding. Oh, look. We're saying this is a juicy story. Devastating for her.

And she had to pay money back. You know, heartbroken. But, you know. Somebody said, I found out that he's mildly allergic to peanuts and I've been making peanut noodles for lunch for both of us on and off for months. Oh, he must really love you. Oh, my gosh. He just has that really horrible afternoon of shallow

hard breathing and a ripping headache. That does suck though. That means every dinner going henceforth is no peanuts or satay chicken. Yum. Yeah, I'm reconsidering the proposal. Do you know what I mean? Because I'm a satay gal. We're hearing from a lot of people who are saying you don't need to have fruit

cake as the bottom layer of it. Thank you. Thank you. Somebody said you can have lolly cake as the bottom layer. Oh, my God. That is so many malt biscuits. Oh, my God. Would it structurally hold together when it got warm?

Yep. I know what you mean because the butter melts. That's the solidifying of the butter is what gives it its structure. The whole thing needs to not be warm, to be fair. Somebody else said that they didn't want to have fruitcake on the bottom layer of their wedding cake. They had chocolate and they just had extra doweling put in as

a structure. You can't be rocking around with bits of wood in your cake on your wedding day. Someone's going to eat it. Someone's going to choke on the wood. You can't get up into those weird squares anyway. Someone's going to gob the whole thing. Lolli cake? That's a great idea. That's phenomenal. Off the topic of cake, if we could.

We digress. We digress. Found out six weeks before the wedding that he'd gambled all of our money away. $32,000 down the drain. Oh my God. Silly me covered the wedding. Divorced three years later after another very big wake up call. Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's really sad. That's awful. But it's sneaky, isn't it? Don't call me. Okay, we won't. But someone I know got his wife's best friend pregnant the week before the wedding. She didn't find out until the month after the wedding. But he went through with the wedding.

Shame on the man through with the wedding. Yeah. A week out of the wedding. But he went through with the wedding. Shame on the man's friend. Yeah. A week out of the wedding. Standing there. Yeah. Some more thoughts on cake. We didn't ask for cake. Don't call me.

It's a welcome sidebar. Found out that I dated his cousin. Locked eyes with the cousin as I walked up the aisle and I was like, what are you doing here? Never told my now husband, but I found out later in the day that they're cousins. That's so funny. Never told. Never told the now husband.

So if you were getting married and you're watching your- And also who was better? Yeah. We need to follow up, kids. We need to follow up. Cousin or husband. It's fine. Don't call you.

No names. We won't call Colin. Colin, don't call me. Colin. But we need to follow up. Who was better? An's fine Don't call you No names We won't call Colin We won't call Colin But we need to follow up Who was better Anonymous don't call Okay The week before the wedding

I found out he had a twin brother Had never met him Because he lived overseas And they never video called Oh Anonymous don't call That's not on you though Is it

That's on your partner Maybe she just doesn't want to call She's got a sore throat this morning Similar My bestie was days out from her wedding and the pressure cooker environment meant that a lifelong secret came blurting out. She had a secret sister that her mum had never told her about

or her father about either. So mum's just like... Why is mum ruining the big moment? Different dad, obviously. Yeah. She's cheated. Mum's got big, not enough of a this is about me energy. Yeah, that's so wild.

You know, you'll go to a wedding every now and then, and then you'll be like, oh, mother doesn't like, this day's not all about her. She's in the shadows. She's about to make it all about her. Cousin was better in bed. But husband is a better lover. Oh, right, okay.

Means. Just never marry the one that's the best. In bed. Yeah, didn't we say that last week? You've got to marry the well-rounded individual best. In bed. Yeah. Didn't we say that last week? You've got to marry the well-rounded individual. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

Even if it means, nah, sometimes. Between the cousin and the... You can work on that if you've got a great lover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can teach. Yeah, you can teach. Write them some points. Give direct...

I like that. Be vocal in the bed. Yes. Yep. You know? Ooh, are're running therapy here Yeah Yeah

Give them some feed That's free Check out the first two seasons Of sex.life You know maybe Listen to that Sorry I was just Plugging my podcast there

Yeah Good stuff Someone would like To approach A slight digression Of the sidebar If they may Re-cake

No Oh Re Something they found out Just before a wedding But not specifically Involving involving the bride and groom. Oh, yeah. Okay.

At my brother's wedding, I found out the maid of honour's father was offering sugar daddy explicit deals to a young woman who came to his business for financial assistance and would schedule it whenever his wife was routinely at the gym. Had to sit there and listen to the wife

talking about how her amazing gym classes, I never said a word, didn't want to be shot as the messenger. Had to sit there and listen to the wife talking about how her amazing gym classes I never said a word didn't want to be shot as the messenger. Wild. He's a juicy. I didn't think we'd get this many. No. We were going to almost impossible phone of this. I said it's more incredibly

difficult but there is some goss. Found out a couple of family secrets. Big family secrets before the big day. One, a great grandad had two families, one in Ireland and the other in England. His son was a convicted bigamist also. So this runs in the family. And also then that the other one was that my granddad

wasn't the father of my nana's eldest daughter. Why are they, why, this is too much. Is it because weddings are like the unions of families? Yeah, and it's just like the guilt, I think. Yeah. Someone does want to, if they may, digress from this digression back to the cake sidebar. Okay. Yeah, we can sidebar cake.

Multi-level cheese wedding cake. I've been to one of those. I mean, my friend Johnny had a cheese. How does this work? Like brie on top. Massive wheels of cheese. Oh, yeah. And you stack them up and then everyone just slices the cheese and goes ham.

But a honeycomb on the side. Yeah, it's like a... Some figs maybe. Posh sort of charcuterie. Okay. I think we all agree that no one really likes cake. I love cake. I don't really like cake.

Especially fruitcake. No. Oh, it's the worst cake. I'm so upset. What, have you been keeping it in your freezer for 20 years and defrosted or something? No, you yum it all up as soon as possible. Did you have fruitcake at your wedding?

Yeah. Ugh. Was it yuck? It was a terrible cake. My Nana made it and she's dead now. It was a lovely cake. It was amazing. Was it nice?

That's so sweet. It was so nice. Yes, it was. Hey Fletch, that was so close. That was so close. Smooth guys. Smooth cover.

Smooth cover. What a beautiful way to celebrate her. Yeah. Yuck. What a lovely lady. Beautiful. God. One of the most genuinely good souls. Beautiful. God.

One of the most genuinely good souls. That's beautiful. Yuck, man. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's flag week for the next two weeks. Yep. Vexologists, celebrate. Hooray.

Love a flag. Love flags. I don't care for them. I sort of think that they're nice to look at. I like flags for things other than countries. But, you know, I don't feel like a real sense of pride in a flag. If we've got Red Peak, I reckon I'd love our flag. I'd be all about it.

I'd have it tattered on my back. Yeah. It was a beautiful flag. It was just a nice. You can't beat simplicity for flags. It's absolutely crucial. Symbolic as well. It just needs to be as simple as you can.

Yeah. Can we get another referendum going? What did that cost last time? 26 million. Referendums, you don't ask people things because most people are dumb. You just tell us. That's the flag now. No, no. You don't just tell people.

That's authoritarianism. We would have just said it. You've got to ask the people. That's democracy. Well, where does that get us? Here. Which some people would agree. Seems to be going well. Well, today's fact.

And this I did not, I honestly can tell you, I didn't know. Okay. The South African flag is only 30 years old. It was designed one month before it became the official flag of South Africa. Was it? Yeah. Did they used to have a Commonwealth flag? They had, the last flag they had was from 1928 to 1994,

was orange at the top to represent the Dutch influence in the area, and white and blue. And then the most unusual thing was in the inner part of their flag, they had three smaller flags. Oh, yuck. The British, one of Dutch origin, and the original South African Republic flag. It's a good flag now, it's simple.

It's just right. Because this is what it used to be. Oh yeah, weird. That was like some, yuck. What is that? It's three flags within a bigger flag. But on the scale of it, that would be so small. You'd never see it. If a kid can't draw, a six-year-old can't draw a flag,

it's too complicated. You couldn't stitch that, embroider that, if it was small scale. It'd be a nightmare of a tattoo to get after the Olympics. Oh, yeah. But the flag that we all know now, the South African flag, was designed like a month before it was put into use.

It was designed in March 1994 and adopted in April 1994 during South Africa's 1994 general election. Because they said the old flag wasn't representative of the future of South Africa. Yeah, nice. So it's got some nicknames. Somebody calls it the old Y or the rainbow flag.

But of course the old rainbow flags. Now the gays have got the rainbow flag. Yeah. I love it. The gays. Oh, the gays. The gays. The gays!

They're like, we need a flag too! Everyone's like, all right, what do you want? What do you want? Well, we're going to start with a rainbow flag. Easy, you see. And then we're going to put a triangle in the corner and then we're going to keep adding more elements to the triangle. God, it's going to look bloody.

They keep adding things. They should just do a tie-dye flag. Oh my God, yes. Because it's everything. When the first rainbow flag was designed, beautifully simplistic. Yeah. You know, as I said, six-year-old good drawer.

I know because it's getting all skew-iff now. Now it's got too much in the simplistic. Yeah. You know, as I said, six-year-old good drawer. I know because it's getting all skew-iff now. Now it's got too much in the corner. Yeah. Almost more, make another flag. But the colour palette in the South African flag, there was a big contentious that the top portion that's red. Yep.

Some South Africans wanted it orange because the other gold in the triangle in the corner of the South African flag is gold gold. Right. But they said we should have orange in this to reflect our Dutch heritage. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. And it was overruled.

It's called chilly red. It's a good red. Chilly red. It is a very good red when you look at it. It's a definitively red red. Yeah. Good flag. And whipped up last minute like a homework project the night before.

The night before at midnight. And it's still the test of time. Well, for 30 years anyway, South Africa, it's synonymous. So today's fact of the day is a South African flag. Blow me down. It's only 30 years old. And also not a single South African accent from either of you two. Impressive.

There's still four on. I've actually come up with a really good idea for a promo. What's that? I think that we should all, Fletch, Paul and Hayley, go to South Africa. Yeah. And we don't tell anyone we're on the radio. We go around and I try to come off as a South African. Okay, right.

And we just see, we really put it to the test to try to find out if I would pass. Very posh. I'd have to go to a posh part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have to hire a a posh part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have to hire a nice car, you know, all of it. Driver. I'd get my hair done. We'll get the driver.

Just for safety, darling. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- and Jack Whitehall and his father, Michael. Tickets from ticketmaster.co.nz. We've got two-thirds of the Whitehall family joining us now. We've got Jack, we've got Hillary, but no Michael. We've lost one Whitehall. Yeah, we've given this. He had too much white wine to drink and then he got tired and fell asleep. Oh, my God, that is incredible.

That's fantastic. He walked into my house and, like, went straight to my fridge, which, to be fair, is what I do when I walk into your house. Like, cracked into one of my bottles of white wine, was three glasses down by the first interview, and now he's, like, done for the night. Yeah, but that's payback, isn't it, from the years of us walking into our parents' houses,

drinking their wine and then topping it up with water and hoping they don't notice. Why has this wine gone all watery? I have no idea. Maybe it's gone bad. Yes, mother, I think it may be corked. I've heard that before. You should send it back to the manufacturer.

Yeah, why is this vodka in the freezer actually frozen? I thought vodka didn't freeze. Oh my God, Hilary, I did that as a teenager, 100%. Replaced it with water and it freeze. Oh my God, Hilary. I did that as a teenager. Yes. 100% replaced it with water and it froze and she was like,

got ya. Really? My parents always kept their spirits at room temperature. Oh, how common. I don't know. Very common. How very common.

We've got a small fridge. We must use it for milk and dairy in the back. Oh God. How embarrassing. Well, we are joined by Jack Whitehall and his mother, Hillary.

Father Michael, TBC. Sleeping it off. Taking himself off to bed because you guys are going to be coming down to New Zealand in January, Jack and Hillary. You're welcome to. Yeah, he's going to do a whole tour of New Zealand and Australia and he can't even do an evening of interviews without tapping out. Yeah. No, we're coming down for

a tour. Yeah. We're very excited. Is this a text deductible way to escape the British winter? Oh, busted. Anywhere but London in January and February.

It was quite a tactical decision to come down to New Zealand at that juncture. Jack, do you have a lot of fun travelling with your parents? Because I don't know how Fletch and Vaughan, you guys would go travelling with your parents. I could definitely travel with my parents. Yeah, I love travelling with my mum and dad and only just because sometimes they foot the bill. Yeah, because they pay for everything.

Yeah, and that's what's fun I have the opposite which is it costs me so much more when I tour with them because they have like just such ridiculous they have a ridiculous rider Michael has to stay in like five star hotels and needs to be basically

treated like he's a royal dignitary like on a like a tour and he always insists on having expensive champagne in all of the dressing rooms whenever we've done tour shows before and i'm like why do you need bottles of champagne he's like well in case i have friends in that night it's like you don't have any friends you have one friend that lives in bath so when we play a bath in england that's the one night you need a couple of bottles of champagne. You don't need it every night of the tour.

So we always lose money because of his alcohol bill. Yeah, I'm quite concerned for you guys then because, I mean, we're not known for our champagne, but we are very much known for our wine in New Zealand. We've got some of the best wine in the world. Yeah. I met my other son has just moved into a house and next door is a Kiwi living there. And I said, well, we're going down your way in the new year. And he said, oh, do you like wine?

I said, yes, we love wine. And he said, he started giving me recommendations within a nanosecond. It's not a wine tour. It's not a wine tour. It is, Jack. It's an island apparently just off the coast of Auckland that's got 12 wineries. Why, Hickey, darling.

Why, Hickey. Why, Hickey, darling. You'll fit right in, Hilary. You'll absolutely 12 wineries. Why, Hickey, darling? Why, Hickey? Why, Hickey, darling? You'll fit right in, Hilary. You'll absolutely love a day on Why, Hickey. I mean, we do have to remember, too, that we are actually working every evening. Oh, boo-hoo, Hilary. And what time do these shows start?

How long do they go for? What time do they finish? The night is young, surely. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. He does also love it. To be fair, I never drink when i go on stage and i i've tried it a couple of times but i've always slightly resisted the urge in case i'm

really good and then i'm dependent on it so i've always managed to like swerve ever like being too intoxicated on stage but michael literally will not go on stage really unless he's like half cut absolutely not and then we have to hide the bottle in the interval because he comes off and says right well I'll have another glass now and I go okay you have one before the show, one during the show, I think we're done now but no. I feel the Whitehalls are going to

fit in like a puzzle piece in New Zealand. Now obviously you guys are quite a close family unit but mum do you ever, has there ever been a time where Jack said something on stage that you're like, oof, that crosses a line because I do a bit of stand-up comedy and sometimes my parents

wince and they can't listen and they just will never come again. I mean, there's always the jokes about Michael and my sex life about which he knows absolutely nothing and so makes it up and I always go, you know know if people laugh great i'll take it but and when they stop laughing jack you're in big trouble that's the line for you

yeah some of our physical inadequacies as well i kind of form a line out because i think quite mean but there's nothing you don't think jack you've shared too much about yourself that your parents didn't know about you? Yeah, I mean, I've definitely had that experience. In fact, the last time, this was the most mortifying, was the last time I was in Australia and New Zealand. It's actually when I met my partner, Roxy, and I had my last tour show and she invited her mum and dad, who I'd never met before, to one of my shows and i was in

the middle of the show and then launching into this routine about my sex life and sort of like sexual escapades and then sort of saw them in the audience and i was like this is the worst first impression you could possibly give i definitely should have met them before in a more sort of convivial atmosphere rather than just going straight into the sort of sex stories. Yeah, I made a show once, a solo show, and I forgot that at one point I did flash my resticles. And I, yeah, I forgot just for a moment. And the lights went out,

but you caught just a glimpse as your eyes adjusted. And I forgot and I invited my partner's parents. Totally forgotten. Oh, they're good Catholic people too. Good Catholic folk. Good Catholic folk. Good Catholic folk. Oh, no. I also had the first time I ever did a sex scene on screen.

It wasn't Trouble in My Hair. Oh, Mum, sorry, Mum. It was a comedy show I did in the UK called Fresh Meat and they had like a premiere of it and I invited Mum and Dad along and we'd filmed it like eight months before so I'd completely forgotten what was in it and then I'm suddenly in the cinema sat in between my mum and dad and I'm like oh my god there's about to be a really

graphic sex scene and I'm going to watch it with my parents and I was absolutely dreading it and then it started and I turned to my left and I looked at Hilary and she had her head in her hands and couldn't watch like it was a horror movie and I was like oh that's pretty bad and then I turned to my right and my dad was like, oh, that's pretty bad. And then I turned right and my dad was nodding his head

at me in approval going, oh yeah, my boy. I'm like, that's definitely a worse reaction. Takes after his father. I like that you were in the middle of them too. Of all the seating combinations possible, in the middle of your two parents is so much worse than anything else. Yeah.

Yeah, flanked by them. Couldn't even escape it. They don't like sitting next to each other if they can avoid it. Oh, that's magic. Well, the Whitehalls are on tour. Auckland, January 25th, 2025. Wellington, two days later, January 27th. Tickets at ticketmaster.co.nz.

And if you've been missing it for their travel shows, Fatherhood With My Father is on Netflix as well. On the media. So to the Whitehall's, well, two thirds of them, the other one can absolutely get stuffed.

Thank you so much for joining us. You might get a flash of Hilary's chesticles if you buy a ticket as well. Yeah, chesticles. And Hilary, Hilary, darling.

I need big money for that. Yes, of course, darling. You can get a lot of Sauvignon Blanc. Yeah course darling We look forward to taking over to Why Hacker Darlings I'm looking forward to a night out with you guys Are you in Auckland? Yeah we are I'm looking for a night and we'll leave Michael in the hotel

and I'm coming out for a night with you guys That's us, that's us, lock it in Perfect, thanks guys Bye Thank you, guys. That's us. That's us. Lock it in. Perfect. Thanks, guys. Bye. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole,

silly little poll is a question that on its surface seems easy. You delve a little deeper. The question gets a whole lot harder. You can only pick one kind of lolly. Hard lolly or soft lolly? Soft every time. This is really difficult because you know I love lollies. Yeah. That's my like sweet

treat of choice. Because my immediate reaction was for team soft, gummies. Yes. Like snakes. Fizzies. Haribo bears. Coke bottles. Yes. Coke bottles. Jubes. You know I love a jube. A soft jube. I know but I can't. Team hard hard boiled sweet raspberry drops.

Your traditional like. Your Werther's? Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah, then I'm going soft. A Jaffa. Exactly. More of a chocolate than a sweet, you silly fool. What about a Skittle?

No, that's a hard lolly. Starts hard, ends soft. Well, everything ends soft and gooey and pooey, doesn't it? That's right. That's what eating is. And then it comes out your poo hole soft. Well, imagine everything you ate came out the same consistent that you ate it. Oh, God.

That would be weird. Let's all think about that. Chicken Weet-Bix would be bloody horrible, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. Flaky. Eat a dry Weet-Bix and then... Flaking it down the passage. It just isolates by itself through the entire system.

This is disgusting. Obviously, there is a bit of contention. Yeah. Yeah. About what is a soft and what is disgusting. Obviously there is a bit of contention Yeah. Yeah. About what is a soft and what is a hard. Soft lollies smoked it. Yes. 89% of people said soft, 11%

said hard. I would find it so fascinating to see like the supermarket stats of like just the confectionary and lollies and chocolate that we buy. Yeah, what are people buying? And like what times? Because I've been in like the city supermarkets like after people finish work and chocolate gets decimated.

I had a couple of blocks of Whittaker's over the weekend. Yeah, it's good stuff. We got a Caramello Whittaker's. Not Caramello, their caramel one. Yeah, nice. Saturday night. And then Sunday we got a Rolo. Oh, Rolo.

A Rolo block. Retro. Very hard to break the Rolos. Not a a rollo. A rollo block. Retro. Very hard to break the rollo. Not a rollo tube. Not a tube of rollos. No, no, no. The domes all connected together. Hard to break.

Crazy. Okay. Hard to break. Let's get some feedback on the matter of hard versus soft. Jenna says, I'm not working for my treat. Oh, okay. She wants soft. She wants a treat.

No questions. No effort. Emma said, hard lollies cut up the inside of your mouth. Chewy, gummy, soft lollies are the way. Yeah. Okay. Amanda says, because my teeth are trash, it's got to be soft. Probably why your teeth are trash, Amanda.

Yeah. Having too many soft lolls. Too many low lolls. You've done that to yourself. Mason said, give me a big soft bag of lollies, a quiet house and a strong internet connection and I'll be happy gaming for hours. Oh, yum. So I'm more of a savoury boy when I'm gaming.

Do you know, I don't... I'm more of a chippies. I can't believe I didn't mention this. I had my first ice cream cone last night. Oh, okay. We had a late lunch and on the way back we thought let's pop in and see Hitton at the dairy and got a double scoop. Summer's here.

Summer's here. Do you only do ice cream cones over summer? Yeah. Oh. Don't be worried about what am I popping in in winter? No, you can't. What, do you have a cup of hot soup from Hitton instead? Yeah, from Hitton we get a nice Maggie soup.

He shuts down the ice cream vending business entirely and just dales out cups of soup. Padlocks it up. Zoe said, are Skittles hard or soft? Skittles I'd say are hard. Hard. I'd say are hard hard I'd say they're medium we didn't give that as an option Corey says

what do fruit bursts count as? hard because they start very hard the colder the weather I think it's the outer shell and how they start is how you class them

a Jaffa hard lolly again it's a chocolate have you ever eaten a fruit burst fresh out of the glove box in summer though and your teeth just slide straight through it and you're like that's burst fresh out of the glove box in summer, though, and your teeth just slide straight through it? I like that.

And you're like, that's good stuff. Yeah. Straight to the taffy bit. What's a pineapple lump? Soft. Again, a chocolate. Soft. Because that outer shell is not that hard.

But it's too chewy and hard. You've got to put them in the fridge to get them hard. Yeah. Okay. Samantha says hard because they last longer, meaning I eat less. That's just a bit of psychological nutrition. Nutrition there. A bit of nutrition.

She's a nutritionist. Yeah. Brittany says, Air New Zealand lollies are the best lollies ever and nothing can change my mind. Really? I mean, I like them. They're a barley sugar, right? But you're wrong.

Yeah. They're just a flavoured barley sugar. Am I right in saying that? Yeah, they're barley sugar. It's a hard boiled lolly. Yeah. Hard boiled sweet. Yeah. You should make stained glass lolly. Hard boiled sweet.

You should make stained glass windows out of them. Yes. Did you ever do that when you were a kid? Yeah, you melt them down, yeah. Might bust that out soon, actually. That's a bit of a time-honoured classic. And then you eat the glass. You're lucky kids. How fun.

God, I can't wait for Christmas in your house. That's a great idea. I could do Christmas themed stained glass windows. Oh, no. Well, let's not do gifts this year then. There's no joy in a hard lolly that breaks your teeth and takes you back to 1910, says Caitlin. Who for some reason chose 1910.

Good year. Was it? Oh man. What happened? Just a good year all round. I want to talk about this Titanic. Can't wait till that's finished being built. That thing's going to be doing so many voyages across the Atlantic. I'm hoping to get me a tiki. The great unsinkable ship

and I tell you what, we'll be on that ship with some hard-boiled lollies, according to Caitlin. That's a little pile. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. No, don't. Don't bother. Yeah, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah, no, don't.

Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.