ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 2nd April 2024

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Items to Pack  Top 6: Rihanna setting trends!  Silly Little Poll!  Hayleys Hot New Follower!  Vaughan's Towing  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletchforn and Hayley on a short week. Another short week. And thankfully we've skipped working April 1st, April Fool's Day.

Yeah, that's good. I had some pranks up my sleeve. You're right, she's a prankster. My co-hosts. Because now I'm noticing online all of the wave of American and Northern Hemisphere pranks. Yeah, silliness.

Just rolling my eyes as I scroll through Instagram and Facebook this morning. But we were all into the pickle pie from non-olds. Yeah, that's true. We were all like, don't say no. Well, short week and our live show's imminent.

Friday in Auckland. Just days away in Christchurch on Saturday. What's that look for? Just stuff to do, you know? Stuff to do before then. Like write Hayley's version. It's getting there. Okay. It's getting there. Okay.

It is getting there. You've been tootooing away in the garage? I've been tootooing in the garage. I have been, yeah. Pottering. Pottering on the keys. Good stuff. Is the keytar making an appearance?

No. Not yet, no. I'm still a novice at it. Right. So just piano. Just the plain old piano. Okay. Yeah.

A few surprises on it, though. It's a baby grand, though, isn't it? It is a baby grand. I asked for the concert grand, and they were like, you know, calm down. Right, it's a bit much. It's not about you. I mean, it is the Civic. Don't tell me there has not been a concert piano,

a concert grand up there before. Oh, God, of course. Coming up on the show, Five on Time is back after a long weekend as well, and it's still $50,000. Come on, guys. Come on. Come on. Eight o'clock this morning. Listen up for the activator.

Get through. Say time at exactly 5.00 seconds, and you win the money. You win the money. Do people not understand the rules? Why is it not? Come on. Okay, eight o'clock to win the cash. The top six is on the way.

Rihanna is apparently responsible for a resurgence in polo shirts. I thought it had been trickling back in, right? Has it? Yeah. I got a Ralph Lauren polo when I was like 14, I think. And man, I felt cool. Did you have the collar up? No, I went collar down.

Okay. You weren't preppy enough to do a collar up. What about when dudes are wearing a polo shirt on top of another polo shirt? Two popped collars. Yeah, and popping both collars. I remember that. That was a Jersey Shore. Yeah.

Jersey Shore. Very frat. Yuck. I was thinking over the weekend, because you know all the baggy jeans and the early 2000s kind of fash is back. I can't do baggy jeans. It's hideous. My thighs pull them out.

I know, it's hideous. When do you reckon the chinos and that kind of hipster thing is next? Do you reckon that's next? Yeah, probably. Because that was kind of hipster thing is next? You reckon that's next? Yeah, probably. Because that was kind of 2010s at the start of the day. The Afghanistan scarves. Remember the... The Afghan scarves.

The Afghan scarves. What do you call them? Kefir. Kefir. Kefir lime. Keftan. They've got a name. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you remember those? Kefir. Kefir. Kefir. Yeah, that's it. Kaftan. They've got a name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember the name? Kefia. Kefia? Yeah, that's it. Yep. Yep. Okay. Yeah.

Well, okay. Well, Rihanna causing a resurgence. And yeah, the polo shirt. Yeah. So I've got the top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did. Okay. The list of the top. You don't like it?

You're not into it? Look, I mean, it's Tuesday, isn't it? After a long weekend. Just some immediate feedback on your top six. Wait, are you not into the top six topic? Or are you not into Rihanna wearing polo shoes? I just said, you said your top six and he went, oh, yeah, okay.

Oh, yeah, okay. That's what Vaughan's doing. The top earning CEO in New Zealand has been named. Oh, fingers crossed. It's not you. CEO of Sproul Productions. It's not you Well, fingers crossed. It's not you. CEO of Sproul Productions. It's not you. It's not you.

We'll go through this and break it down like hourly and weekly. This will blow your mind. Now, award winning travel blogger, Stephanie Parker, has a... Never heard of her. Never. What awards does she want? What awards? Are we still doing blogging awards? The winning travel blogger, Stephanie Parker, has a... Never heard of her. Never. And she's won awards. She's won awards. Are we still doing blogging awards?

Who's blogging? Yeah, is it... There are a lot of travel bloggers. It was like influencing before influencing, right? Yeah. Yeah. So she's got a packing hack. She says the perfect amount of things you should pack for a holiday.

I bet she uses packing sows. I bet she uses packing sows. Why don't you not get them? Yeah, but then all your undies and socks are in the same place. But it's not like it's a huge suitcase and things are going to get lost. Vaughn, are you on my side here? Are you team packing sows? I don't want to get involved in your argument.

I am reading Steph's blog, Big World Small Pockets. Okay. She's a passionate globetrotter. She's been featured on Lonely Planet, National Geographic, Forbes, Tenerife, Czech Republic, just Czech Republic. I don't know, just featured by Czech Republic. Okay. African Budget Safaris, I am Amsterdam. UK savings.

So she's legit. She's legit, guys. Where do you stand on packing cells? In 2019, much like a fish and chip shop. The people need to know, Vaughn, what is your stance? On packing cells. Your silence is very loud. I'm on the fence.

Wow, he won't pick a side. I won't pick a side. I don't stand out of this, man. Don't drag me into this. Speaks volumes. I've got enough on my blade without packing cells. Wait, but when you've gone away on holiday, have you used packing cells?

I have. And then since I've been on holiday since and haven't. It's team packing cells. And which way did you prefer? I'm neither or. Get off the fence, you bisexual. Pick a side, you greedy. You can't have them both.

I don't have it all. Okay, well, regardless of packing cells, she's not chiming in on packing sales in this. The perfect amount of stuff to take, and it's more than I thought, 35 items. Oh, no. I always overpack. Is the optimal amount of clothing.

Break it down, Steph. What am I taking? 20 pairs of underpants, five pairs of socks, and a pair of jeans, two T-shirts, and a jersey. There's your 30. She says 35 items plus three pairs of socks and a pair of jeans, two T-shirts and a jersey. There's your 30. She says 35 items plus three pairs of shoes and accessories to pack per person for one week. Oh, that was going to be my next question.

Is this like for a six-month overseas holiday? One week of fun in the sun, she said. She's about to have her British Travellers Award from 2009 revoked. So she was saying take more light layers than less heavy pieces. Yeah, layer up. So that you can go like singlet, T-shirt, light shirt on top, light jacket. And then if it's cold, you wear them all. And if you get warmer, you take them off.

And she says you should pack two weeks out. That's not me. Two weeks out? This is nuts. This is crazy. My mum does that because you know they go to Italy every year for like five months. And she'll put a suitcase out and she just chucks things in and out

thinking I want to take that and then she'll kind of review and what not for like months. Really? I like it. Kind of a good way of getting excited for your trip though. Yeah. And then she said in the second like the first week you're kind of like feeling out what you want to take in advance. Kind of a good way of getting excited for your trip, though. Yeah. And then she said in the second, like the first week, you're kind of like feeling out what you want to take. In the second week of it just sitting there, do a little test run of all the outfits that you've popped in.

But people get so hung up on outfits. When you're overseas, you're always moving around and going to different places. No one knows you were in the same T-shirt and pants from yesterday. Exactly. Except you. But Steph's gramming it. Yeah, I guess that's true.

If you're gramming it, everything's on the gram. 35 minutes is way too much. Unless she's counting per sock and per grunt. It's too much. It is a lot. Yeah. And don't pack weeks in advance. You pack on the morning that you're leaving at 11am.

Yeah, you put your tank. Full of stress and everything's dirty. Yeah. And you've got to do a wash when you arrive. Bingo, that's perfect. You're going to go find a laundromat. No, no, wear your clothes in the shower. Dry them out.

Yeah. Done. And give yourself a nice scrub with some body wash. Yeah. While wearing the clothes. And then go outside somewhere sunny. And let them dry on. Let them dry on you and then just go back to work, baby.

You are so manky. That's genius from you, actually, Vaughn. Yeah, Max, that's what my father-in-law does every day in his real life. Next on the show, the list of the highest paid New Zealand CEOs has been released. And we've got the number one on the list. Oh, Vaughn Corp. Vaughn Corp. Vaughn Corp's a big earner.

Is that how? You've got to silence G. You've got to silence. Vaughan Corp's a big earner. It's a... Is that a few cancelled projects? Tell you what. No, it's not. It's not Vaughan. It's not Vaughan Corp. And it's not... I'm even thinking this financial year

he might be getting some money back. That's how much of a bad year he's at. Well, there's an article today on the NZ he's had. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, there's an article today on the NZ Herald. 18 past six. 18 past six.

You said 18.6. Now, are you okay? I said past six. You said.6. Did I say.6 past six? I don't know. I don't tend to listen until we sort of get into the bulk of the chat. Yeah.

I'm a details guy. Yeah. I am currently balls deep in some calculations. Because the list is out and the Herald has this. To be honest, these numbers that you're about to spit are making me feel insignificant. Yeah, right. I wish I could go deeper. My balls deep is another man's tip.

New Zealand's... You too. Behave. The list of New Zealand's highest... He said 18.6. What a loser. You said 18.6. You know why?

It's because we've been looking at all these numbers. We're balls deep in the numbers. We're in the numbers. We're wading through the numbers, baby. Fletcher's balls deep is totally different to Vaughn's as well. Well, I think he's deeper than my... Okay, look. It's 18 past 6, but the highest...

19 past. Now it's 19.6. 19! I did that on purpose. Okay, that's okay. So the list of the highest paid CEOs In New Zealand has been released Now the worst part about this is

Everybody that works for this company Is going to be doing what we're about to do All these companies are like New Zealand's biggest companies So you can literally see what your boss earns The top boss Now on average The Average CEO pay has

gone up. What? I thought there was no money. I thought we had no money as a country. I thought there was no money. Inflation, blah, blah, blah. Times are tough. The average CEO pay for the top listed companies climbed to $2.288 million, up from $2.2.

I thought you were going to say 2.2%. Same. I thought you said 2.28 million. No. I just want a little bit of it. The top paid CEO in the country. It is so deep I'm going to have to put my balls in as well. Thumb them in.

I can't stop. I can't stop. My balls. We need to go deep. I'm wheezing. I'm wheezing. I'm dying over here and they're in their pay by $2.8 million. So the highest paid CEO is worth $8.42 million.

That's good for me. Good for you. Good for you. I mean, these laughs we're having are certainly cushioning the blow that this dude is earning $8.42 million a year. Now, so this is the head of, and I don't know what this company is. Yeah, eBoss, which does a lot. It's healthcare, isn't it?

Yeah, and does a lot of stuff in Australia. So that is after the exchange rate, $7.76 million Australian is $8.42 million New Zealand. eBoss Healthcare, a medical supply company, supplying public and private hospitals, day surgeries, general practices, aged care facilities. Oh, well, there you go. You want to be supplying aged care facilities.

And specialist clients with some of the best product choices. So he overtook the previous head of Fonterra, who took home 8.32 in 2017. So he set the record. Now, I know I've been saying balls deep, but you saying the former head is too far. Rick Forskin's on there as well. He's at number 10.

He's at number 10. I think I'm at the most funny you could possibly have at 20 past six. Now. At 20.6, I'm having a blast. 20.6, I'm having a blast. I give the show so far 9 past 8 out of 10 Now

Now I've put it into The pay.net.nz Slash calculator This is where you can put in Your pay And see what you'll take home Afterwards Now is he doing a contribution

To KiwiSaver do we think I reckon he'll be doing 4% Oh you've got to do 8 You've got to do 8. Or if you earn that much. If you're doing that. Okay, I'm going to put him at 4%. It's nice middle ground.

Okay. 8.2. Oh, you're doing take home. Yeah, I'm doing take home. What's that tax? 39? Yes. Yeah, well, once it gets over the threshold.

Once it gets over his... And it's blown past the threshold. He's torn asunder. Now, do you want to know how much he takes home a week? Yes, give me the weekly. At the end of the week. Because a lot of this will be bonuses, right? But we're just combining it for the sake of ease.

Well, bonuses get taxed, is that right? They get taxed, eh? Yeah. Personally, I wouldn't know. I've never performed at any sort of level that's required a bonus. Which I'm fine with, because it sounds like you have to put in extra work

and I feel like I'm doing the minimal amount as it is. Totally. $92,634.69 Nice. A week. After tax.

$92,000 a week. Take home. Take home. Give me a day. What have we got a day? Oh yeah. Can you do that a day? Well, you just divide by seven.

No. It's not working seven days a week. No, no, no. If that's in your bank account a week, what have we got to spend a day? Oh, okay. Because so many jackets, isn't it? So many jackets. I could buy a lot of jackets.

$13,233 a day. That's lovely, isn't it? And that's money in the bank. That feels right for me. That's sort of where I would like to sit. Family of four, I will allow paydays Friday. Yep. Got some money left.

I'm like, $100 a day to feed the family. That's what I set aside. Always blow past it because I get it carried away with treats. Yes. But this guy's not even going to have to worry about it. No. What's his family eating? Think of all the whiskeys you could buy.

I don't need... Don't need... I'd be in big trouble. Yeah, you would be. So every fortnight, there's $185,269 in his bank account. That's $400,000 a month. And yearly, after tax...

The dude's paying $3.2 million tax. These rich people are rich for a reason. God, you'd be trying... If you were that... If you're paying that much tax, you'd see a pothole and be quite aggrieved. Oh, you'd be... You'd be like,

come on, I'm paying a lot of tax here. Fix it on the same day. Same day fix. You'd see a sickness beneficiary and you're like, can't be that bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm paying a lot of tax here. Fix it on the same day. Same day fix. You'd see a sickness beneficiary and you're like, can't be that bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm paying $3.2 million. Get out of your wheelchair.

Come on, walk. Get out of my wheelchair. Yeah, that's my wheelchair, buddy. I want it back. Is this why rich people are intolerable? I think it is. No, while they get to take home $4.8 million a year, they've paid $3.2 million tax, if they're doing standard POA,

and they become intolerable at what their money's being spent on. I would be so horrible, I reckon, if I had that much money. I'd look good, though. You'd never say. I'd suck all the sucking, tucking up. You'd get that boob job on you. You'd get the boob job. Zip, tip.

I would be Botox to the nines. I'd be balls deep. You know what I'm saying. You could get bigger. You could get a bigger one. 24 minutes past six. One little thing. They call short-term incentives STIs.

That's terrible. That's terrible, yeah. That is a rebrand. I don't want that. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM Think Tank. This is the Top Six. Oh, hello.

Top Six, other things you should have wear just because Rihanna did. Rihanna's been spotted in a polo shirt. Don't do it. Don't do it. Who looks good in a polo shirt? No one. Golfers. Tiger Woods. They have like a very specific sort of polo shirt

Bit of a British thing too We're talking the Ralph Lauren polo aren't we? Yeah That was the one I had I got a white one and I believe it came from China

so I don't know if it was Ralph but my mum told me it was Oh right Did she get it at a Thailand market? Yeah I think so Yeah okay And I felt very cool

In a white polo White polo White Ralph Lauren Fit white polo? It polo. White Ralph Lauren. It was thick. I never liked them because they're very boxy. They're very boxy. They don't have a good fit, eh? And when you're skinny, it doesn't do your figure justice.

And when you're fat, you see the titties. Yeah. Exactly. The polos, you're going to be right down the middle. And a lot of people wear singlets under the polo. Yes. I'm not wearing a singlet under a shirt. I'm a grown-ass man.

I'm not a cold child. No. I'm not a cold child. No, I'm not a cold child. Who wears singlets? I'm not a cold child. Grow up. Grow up. Who's wearing singlets? My mum would always say that.

Don't get a chill on your back. You know, your lower back is your t-shirt. She's always got to have a singlet. Always got to have a singlet. Don't get a chill on your lower back. Now, silly little pole tomorrow. Do you wear a singlet. Always going to have a singlet. And chill on your lower back. Now, silly little pole tomorrow. Do you wear a singlet?

Under a shirt. And then ask people if they do, in what circumstance. If they're a cold child. I think it's an old, are you a cold child? On your way to a school? Yeah. With a polyester jumper? Do you know who loves a polo? Harry and Will.

They have to though, don't they? They always rock a polo. Are you talking about the princes? That's their casual. You wouldn't see them in more of a t-shirt as a polo. It's very prep. It's very frat. It's very British in Spain. Yeah. Pop the collar up.

Top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did. Polo shirt edition. Number six on the list. Capris. Now if Rihanna wears capriso shirt edition. Number six on the list. Capris. If Rihanna wears capris, should you wear capris? No, you shouldn't. Apparently they're back. No, I saw someone wearing capris. Like a fashionable person. Like leggings. A tight

three-quarter capris. Like pedal pushers. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh no. I'm upset. I'm thick in the thigh. We can't be doing that. We can't just have the thigh. The thigh in case. Sort of like a sausage. To the knee. We can't be doing that. We can't just have the thigh. The thigh in case. Sort of like a sausage. To the knee.

Like a sausage. Yeah. A tight. And then the smaller sausages out the bottom. Yeah. We can't. No, that's too many sausages. And that comes from a guy who loves sausages.

We can't. Number five on the list of the top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did. Polish shirt edition. Number five. Jeans under dresses. Guys, it's happening. Is that happening? It's happening.

No way. Yes, the girlies are nodding. Jeans under dresses. I've seen it. Who are you? Misha Barton at the 2004 OC premiere? There's even a new trendy piece that's an inbuilt skirt over the jeans

and that's going around like Kmart and all those. No. Next thing you're going to tell me that long sleeved skivvies are coming back under the

t-shirt. Oh. Where have you been? It's happening. They are. They are. Yeah.

What are you a baby child? Put a singlet on if you're cold. What are you a cold child? What are you a freezing cold child?

Number four on the list of the top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did pencil-thin eyebrows. They're not bad. Are they? I hope not.

I've invested so heavily on the full bush. And that's a good upper brow full bush. Lovely, lovely. Number three on the list of the top six. Lovely, lovely. Top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did a long, skinny scarf. Misha Barton. What are you, Misha Barton? Blah, blah, blah. Top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did a long, skinny scarf. Oh.

Misha Barton. What are you, Misha Barton? What are you, Misha Barton? The 2004 OC premiere? She looks like a cold child. Misha Barton was a cold child. She would rock cold. She's a cold child.

She'd constantly be like, brr. Please, Adam Brody, turn up the air conditioning. I'm just a cold child. Number two on the list of the top six other things you shouldn't wear just because Rihanna did. A wallet chain and a long, long skater belt. Yeah. No.

Skater belts, those material ones, those woven material ones. With the lop flat. Yeah, and then you'd leave the flat bit hanging. It dangles down. Who are you? Avril Lavigne in the Skater Boy video? And number one on the list of the top six things you should wear just because Rihanna did straw fedoras.

Oh no. Oh no. Pull the pin on a straw fedora. You need more brim at the back. Yeah. Aren't you a cold child? Are you some kind of cold child? Misha Barton, the 2004 OC premiere. That's today's top six. Play.

Zed-In's Fletch Vordernaley. Play. Zed Subsex. Now, I base my nail polish choice on just vibe. Okay. At the moment, I've got like... Do a little vibe check. Mirrors. What do you call this? Chrome. I've got chrome fingernails.

Oh, yeah. Because it was beach hop and you love old cars. And I love old cars. Yeah, the orange is my favourite when I've got the fluoro orange. Might do that again soon. But there is a nail trend on the talk. Yep. And it's to do with being a cute couple.

And you go. I'm already out. Here we go. Here we go. Stay with. So you go to your nail woman or man or them. Yeah. And you.

For those that celebrate. For those that celebrate. Nails. Yeah. Nails. Not for everybody. To each their own. You go there and you have a photo of your partner and you show them their eyes and then you

colour match the colour of their eyes. Oh, good luck. I don't know what these are. Sometimes they're green, sometimes they're brown, sometimes they're hazella. Which is, I'm actually suing Whittaker's because they stole my eye colour for the chocolate. It's hazel, really, isn't it?

No, mine are hazel. Because mine are brown and green, whereas yours are green, blue, brown, grey. They're very sexy. But maybe you could do some kind of like, sexy eyes. You're hazel too. Swirl, swirling. Yeah, we've all got hazel eyes. These would be the worst

hazel eyes. These would be the worst colour to get done as nails. Poo brown. That's when people say, what colour are your eyes? I say hazel, aka poo brown. Poo brown, yeah. Brown with bits of green in it. Diarrhea, poo. Yeah, diarrhea, like sick tummy brown.

Yeah, yeah, you've got a bit of green bile pushing through. Yeah, that's the colour of my eyes. Aaron's eyes are like black brown. He's got very dark brown eyes. It's the Italian. It is the Italian in him. I think it might be the bohemian. The bohemian.

It's a mixture of both, actually. It's a mixture. Yeah. I don't know. Are we on board with this? Even if your partner had lovely blue eyes, that wouldn't be... You'd have to point it out, though.

You'd have to, like, put your hand up near their face. This is cringey. This is horrible. No, so you can look at it and be like... We all know a couple... I'm, like, looking into his eyes. And let's say both their names. We all know a couple that will do this.

On the count of three, we're all going to say their names. Hang on. I got to sing. No, we're not going to. We're not a couple that will do this. On the count of three, we're all going to say their names. Hang on. I've got to sing. No, we're not going to. We're not going to. Oh, yeah. Because I don't need those legal ramifications. But we all know a couple that would do this. And then come to some event in matching outfits as well and be like,

she's like, look. And then he's got a couple of fingers done too. And he's like, yes. And he's got her eyes. They've got. Oh, yuck. That's gross. It's screaming Maddie and Ryan.

I wasn't going to say. Screaming? Maddie and Ryan. No, it screams. Maddie would love this idea. Ryan would be like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. 100%.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Today's silly little poll. it's about Easter trading. Great question to ask every year. Are Easter trading laws, like, outdated? Is it a done thing? You could never open on Good Friday or Easter Sunday. But bars used to not, right? And then now they do and you serve booze.

But you have to eat with it. Yeah, you have to eat. And then so everybody that works in a bar has to explain these archaic, bizarre rules that if you're going to have a drink, you've got to have a meal, and a meal isn't just chips. It's a meal. It's a meal. Which also sometimes feels like the restaurants and bars upselling you because a big giant bowl of chips is a meal, right?

That's a meal made for a man. Yeah. In defence of the working class. Yep. Of which I meal made for a man. In defence of the working class. Yep. Of which I consider myself to be somewhat of a hero. Okay, right. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Says the man that drives

home at 9.30am. You absolutely bet, Chas. I'm a working class man. I'm not doing the full hours. I'm a part-time working class man. Oh, but a hero. Yeah. This, at least when everything was shut, it's a guaranteed weekend off for people to spend with their families.

Yeah. Because next when like the little bits and pieces start opening and then the big bosses, they're off to the Pawanui Beach House for the weekend. Yeah. But you're still, the workers are still at work doing the grind. Now that might be some people's idea of a good time. Well, you get time and a half. Yeah, time and a half.

Time and a half in the day in lieu. Some people just want a weekend off. But then also, if you're just working part-time hours, that's days off where you can't earn money that you need to pay your rent. Yeah, like you'd kind of want to. And that's two days of the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly, yeah, if you're not on a salary. Yeah. Karwen just said that she went out with three people, three of you, and you had to order four things. Yeah, so they were, they didn't want, they said that we could do sharing plates and like a pizza and stuff. And we chose fries as one of those things

because the other options were all like seafood and I don't eat anything. She's a vegetarian. And they really didn't, they really wanted us to order a fourth thing because they didn't want to count fries. It's a meal. That's a meal.

No one's there. I'm so sorry. I can't eat any of the other things. And then they were like, oh, okay, well, just don't write us up. So when you wanted another drink, they wanted you to order more food? Yeah. She was like, oh, I don't know if you've ordered enough food to get a second drink.

Let me go check. Who was ordering it? No one. And I was like, oh, please. It know if you've ordered enough food to get a second drink. Who's ordering it? No one. And I was like, oh, please. It's so outdated and so stupid. But it's also, it's based in Christianity, isn't it? The reason why we're doing it was because of Jesus. Yeah.

And the resurrection of the bunny, the chocolate bunny. And we're not really a deeply religious country. Yeah. We're not, actually. No. Atheism is the most popular religion. Someone has text messaged in an essay of sorts. Holy shibboleth.

Exit trading laws shouldn't apply. It should be a choice. People forget so quickly when banging on about people wanting or needing a holiday with family. They don't. All families are a great place. Sometimes work, school, or other places are a refuge for some people. Okay. They want to go to work.

Okay. Well, the results are a refuge for some people. Okay. They want to go to work. Okay. Well, the results are in. We asked you. 76% of people said yes, they are outdated. Yeah. 24% said no. Aaron, does anyone really celebrate Easter for religious reasons anymore? Not really.

Not really. No. Although I did go out with my church group at the weekend and throw white paint on gay things. Yeah. I knew. I saw white paint in your beard this Yeah, I knew. I saw white paint in your beard this morning

and I was like, it was you, wasn't it? It was. We had such a cheeky weekend. Yeah. And then we yelled at some cameras, said when are we going

to be allowed to be straight? Yeah. I personally love that. When's my straightness going to be celebrated? Yeah. All those sorts, all the manner of things.

And then on the way home popped into that glory hole. Damn. I watched. Yeah. For the manner of things. And then on the way home, popped into that glory hole. Did I watch? Yeah. For the glory of our Lord. Why else? Amen. Cameron says, God bless.

That's all Cameron said. Okay, God bless. God bless. God bless. Thank you for the Rastafarians who listen to the show. Coming from someone, Carrington says, coming from someone who works in retail, we only have the option to choose to close three and a half days a year.

So you've got your Christmas, Easter Sunday, Good Friday and half an Anzac Day. And we've only got three and a half days a year. Every other public holiday, we have to be open and work. We don't get a long weekend like everyone else. It's time we deserve to spend with our loved ones. So she's pro loved ones. Unlike that texter who, God damn it,

don't make them spend time with their family. They hate them. Yeah, I want to go to work. Tash says, I spent the weekend in Poopoo. They are not closed for Easter and the place was a buzzin'.

Time to stop this antiquated law because there are, if you're a tourist area, there are exemptions. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes, the Easter laws

are outdated because Christianity is like 1% of the population I assume. Jeremy says And good morning to our Christian listeners. And good morning

to our Christian listeners. A tamari. Yeah. To our God-loving listeners. You're welcome here. And a big jobless. A bit of a jobless too as well. I'm not a believer

but I'll jobless you. Good Friday, I agree, but Easter Sunday, no, I was gagging for a glass of Savs, says Jeremy. Come Sunday, we were ready. Jeremy, you must plan ahead. You're knowing that the Sav chomps would be close. It's always Easter Sunday when community pages of people are like, I'll do anything for booze.

Yeah, yeah. Anyone got a bottle of something they can give me? And Ash said, yes, but also don't give an F. Call me old-fashioned, but I like tradition of having a nice long weekend off. It's a little punk. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. You've got a new...

No, I haven't purchased this. I know, and neither have I, but I'm considering it. So you may have... I put this on my Instagram story over the weekend. There was a pizza night at our friend Mike and Matt and a bunch of us went over. And then, so Dr. Shawnee has this thing called an oonie or a yoni?

No. Oonie. It's not a yoni. Don't put raw dough in your yoni. Oh no. And it plugs in, you put it, it's a pizza oven, like a mini pizza oven, and you plug it into the gas bottle on your barbecue are those the ones we saw in that shop and we were like

I think that's what Dr. Shawnee's got and they're like quite slim yeah they're slim they're sleek and they work and so it's just like a pizza oven

amazing you put it in it's like 30 seconds yeah but it's gas so it's cheating what you were describing there is the little bitch's pizza oven

yeah it does feel a little yeah it's a little bitch pizza oven a little townhouse pizza oven build one every okay everybody little townhouse pizza oven. What's a... Build one. Every, okay, everybody...

A little townhouse. I'm sorry, but everybody that builds a pizza oven uses it three times. Yeah, dude. Oh my God. I know. And then it sits there for the eternity of the house. Aaron said this.

He's planning the outdoor area. We're going to put a patio there and we'll do this. Maybe a pizza oven. I was like, dude. No. No, we don't eat pizza. This was my... Anyway, so we're having pizzas. Maybe a pizza oven. I was like, dude. No. No, we don't eat pizza. This was my, anyway, so we're having pizzas. And then in Mike and Matt's house, because they've got two cats,

there was this thing and I thought it was like a portable, it looked like some kind of big Huey Boom speaker. And then when I, closer inspection. How big is it? Compared to the Stanley Cup. Maybe about as tall as the Stanley Cup. So maybe, what, three quarters of a foot? Right, okay.

Would you say that, Bourne? Nearly a foot tall? Oh, God. Three quarters of a foot? He's got a strange mask. 30 centimetres. 30 centimetres. 26.

30 to the top of the straw. 26 to the rim of the cup. All right. About that. And it wasn't a speaker. It was an automatic cat feeder. Yes, I want one. Which I've since learned is actually a dog

feeder. And what it does is you load snacks and treats in it and then with your app, it's made by the people that do this at Ufee, the security. That's what we've got. Yeah. Trying to break into our house. Big China. I'm watching you. Big China's got your details. China's feeding your pussycat. Yeah, break into our house. Big China. I'm watching you. Big China's got your details.

China's feeding your pussy cat. Yeah, they are. Meow. Meow. Gee. Gee gee ping. Gee gee ping. Yeah.

Can log in and feed your puss. Yeah. No, and you've got this app, and then it swivels 360 degrees, and then you see your cat come up, or your dog, and then you slingshot a treat, and they go pew, and they fling out across the room. And then they chase the treat. Yeah, and they chase the treat and eat them. What if it hits them in the eye? Well, you can slingshot it away from them.

And then you're like, oh, no, I'm in Australia, and my cat's wounded because I shot it in the face. Well, somebody else would be looking after your cat. And also, this is what my dog would do. Richie would be like, this thing's full of treats. Crunch through it. Oh, yeah this is what my dog would do. Richie would be like, this thing's full of treats. Crunch through it. Oh, yeah. Just as we chew up this.

It's round, though, so I wonder, it's quite big. I was looking at it, it's $300. That's so big. Oh, my God, I know. I can't believe how much they paid for it. I was like, that is ridiculous.

I want one, though. But then you've also got a camera in it as well, so you could see if your cat was home or dog was home during the day. You can kind of swivel it around. If a burglar comes in your house, you can shoot him with cat treats. Yes. That'll the day. You can kind of swivel it around. If a burglar comes in your house, you can shoot him with cat treats. Yes.

That'll stop him. Has it got a speaker on it? Can you be like, hey, I can see you. Get out of my house. Ping, ping, ping, ping. No, you can because they turn on the app and they're like, hey, puss, puss, puss, puss, how are you doing? Right. I've tried it because we've got the youth.

How sad are they? Are they quite lonely? Quite sad. Really sad. A couple of sad losers. That's what you're describing as a couple of losers. I didn't say that. They got married

just trying to see if it would cheer them up. Yeah. Just kind of sad. I guess we might as well be losers together. Might as well be losers together. Hey, want to drop 300 bucks

on a cat treat flinger that we can talk to the cat? Of course we do. Over the Wi-Fi. Sure do. That's the sort of thing a couple of losers would spend their money on.

Not my word. A couple of lonely, sad You can talk to them. It's a bestseller. It's the to them. It's a bestseller. It is the bestseller. Is this the same cat that's shat on the bed multiple times, ruined God knows how many duvets and sheets? Yeah, definitely worth rewarding that sort of behavior.

Hey, you know how I said it was $300? It's $530. That website you sent was an Australian one. It's on sale. But if you bought it from the Yuffie New Zealand one It's $500 Yeah but like you know I don't have any kids

Yeah do you know what I mean This is like a school camp Is that how much school camps are They're very expensive I just tell my kid they're not going Yeah same You can't have mummy's wine budget Everybody knew A kid mum refused to pay the school Just tell my kid they're not going. Yeah, same. You can't have mummy's wine budget.

Go outside, zip lining. Everybody knew a kid, mum refused to pay the school fees because they didn't have the money, but she always had budget for Sav. I said they're a donation. I choose not to make them. I already pay your school donations in the form of tax. Mummy don't have a job. Give me my wine and shut your yap.

There's a lot more to this than I originally thought. There was a man, his name is Taylor. It's not Hanson. It's not Taylor Hanson. But God, he's looking good these days. No, his name is Scott Taylor. I beg your pardon, that's his last name. That makes more sense. He's a security expert. Used to work as a behavioural,

in the behaviour unit of the FBI. Oh, so like tracking down like serial killers and murderers. Yeah, and like reading body language, detecting lying would be his. He was the lead interrogator for, what is it? Guantanamo Bay. Wow. Knows his stuff. That's still going, by the way. Is it? Guantanamo Bay. Wow.

Knows his stuff. That's still going, by the way. Yeah. You don't want to give up that real estate. You're not getting it back. They bought that at a steal. If they give up Guantanamo Bay now, they'll never be able to buy back into the property.

No, they won't. You've got to wait it out. Yeah, and by the way, in good news, if we wait it out long enough, global warming will see an increased sea level. Oh, yeah. They will actually be underwater. Yeah, right.

That's old school waterboarding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole place is underwater. Yeah, why not? It's actually impossible to not be waterboarded when you're there because it's going to be underwater. He was interviewed about dating apps. Right.

Which I'm kind of like, he's worked for the FBI and now he's getting asked about this. But because he's so good at detecting lies. Okay. And he said, according to him, he reckons 80% of people are lying on their dating profiles. Wow. Like, wait, you just drop it down a couple of kgs, right?

I reckon that's low-balling it too. I'm still in the 70s. He said most of the lines are to do with age, body shape. You'd be like, 70s but tall. 80s but tall?

Yeah, I'm like 96, but like very tall. Very tall Where they live I guess To Where they live Like when you upgrade your suburb

Yeah you flash up your postcode Yeah Did I say Remuera I meant Manurewa Sorry Rewa hard Yeah Rewa Yeah

Remu Manu Availability Relationship status So straight up just being like I'm single When you're not Financial status

Rich Or even their entire identity A complete made up lie Because you're going to get into a relationship With someone and it's all going to come unraveled, isn't it? And he was like, it's because people feel,

you know, they're doing these things and they want to put their best foot forward and they're feeling insecure about it so they lie about it. But then yeah, you're just going to get

caught out if you say that you're a 10 and you're a 6. You know what I mean? Yeah. One man's 10 is another man's 6 and vice versa.

Yeah. And a woman can play that game too I'll allow it Everyone is someone's 10 right? No Every now and then you'll see someone and you're like Good luck Yeah you're no one's 10 That is really sad You're someone's 10

Remember when someone said to me, how do you work with Vaughan Smith? Aren't you distracted by how hot he is? They are mentally unwell. They are mentally unwell. I did a snort laugh. I did a snort laugh. I snort laughed.

I said that he's someone's 10. He's someone's 10. He's someone's 10. He was that person's 10. Yeah, I'm happy to be somebody's 6. Yeah, that's fine. That's above average. I'll stick with that.

Still quite generous. Do you think that's a generous 6? You're my 5 and it's good because we work together. That's good. We don't need to be distracted. I mean, Fletch is a 9. He's a 9. Have you seen him recently?

Have you changed the scale? Is it at a 50 now? I was waiting for it. I was waiting. And we're giving you the chance to get to one of our live shows this weekend in Auckland on Friday. Crash Hitch is sold out, but thanks to the new Heineken Silver 99% calm free, 100% smooth, we have a chance for you to win flights, tickets, accommodation, and a smooth ride to the show.

You've just got to register at ZM Online and tell us your juicy confession. Your juicy confession. Something that could have gone smoother. Laura, good morning. Good morning. Good morning, Laura. You've submitted your unsmooth confession. Your juicy confession. Something that could have gone smoother. Laura, good morning. Good morning. You've submitted your unsmooth confession. What was it? Okay.

Here we go. So I was about to have a one night stand with a friend of a friend after a big night at the pub. we went back to his house at the end of the night for a sleepover. Wait a minute, you already called it a one-night stand. You don't have to make a child for it right now.

I'm going back. I'm going to ride this guy. And then two seconds later, you're like, we're going for a cute little sleep, Ace. We know what's up. Okay. You went to his house for sex. Yes.

Yeah, absolutely. And? His mum was staying at his house because he was a single dad. So he was babysitting. Hold on a second. You don't take someone home for a one night stand if your mum's sleeping over. No, no, no, no. You go to their house.

Well, it was early hours of the morning. It was a big night. It it was early hours of the morning. It was very, it was a big night. It was very early hours of the morning. So she was supposed to be asleep. Mum's up. Mum's up getting the scones on. Yeah. So anyway, we got in and I went into the bathroom.

And when I walked. You know. Yeah. We start pressing up, you know, press. Yep. And when I walked... You know? Yeah. We start freshening up, you know, prep. Yep. And when I walked... I do know. I do know.

Give it a wipe. Give it a wipe. We've all been there. Don't worry. We've all been there. Rubberging around for a flannel. We've all been there. I have a slipper on behalf of me and everywhere, Laura.

And thank you. Thank you for the wipe. Thank you for the wipe. So you're freshening up. Freshening up. And when I walked out into the hallway, his mum had woken up to us getting in, and so she was talking to him.

And when she saw me, she just stopped and said, I was like, hi. And she, yeah, she was shocked. And you could just tell it was all over her face. Yeah.

She knew exactly what was going on. That could have gone smoother. That could have gone smoother. And then she's like, woman to woman, have you had the wine? Have you had a wine? Did you put the flannel in the basket? And then she slaps him on the arse and she's like, get in there, boy, and make us proud.

Laura, congratulations. It's so good, Laura. Thank you for sharing your unsmooth confession. Yeah. $100 for you and you are in the draw at the end of the week in just a couple of days to get to either the Auckland or the Crush It show with flights, accommodation and tickets thanks to Heineken Silver.

Good luck. Hey. I'm being told we should ask Laura about the next day. The producers are saying, what happened the next day? Yeah, there was more. Wait, what happened? So, yeah, the next day. Wait, did you shag him?

Did you shag him? Oh, absolutely. Don't let mum through the paper thin walls next to you. I would put you off. We were really drunk. And I was really drunk he was too but I was not aware

of the volume level. Yeah of course you get raw when you're drunk aren't you? I was just about to say was there some hooting and some hollering?

I was really just completely in the moment so it was loud and so the next the next day after he dropped me off he'd got back and she was

absolutely disgusted at what she'd heard. And made it really clear how unimpressed she was to have had to hear how graphic the whole situation was. But then

we are actually married now. She is my mother-in-law. And she heard you. We are actually married now And we've been together for nine years But then She is my mother-in-law She's your wife And she heard you Wow What a first time

That is the first time I met my mother-in-law And you know How I met my mother-in-law Oh my gosh Yeah Great TV show And you know what Laura

All because you gave it a wipe All because you gave it a wipe If you gave it a wipe If there wasn't a wipe You wouldn't be married You wouldn't You wipe So you wife That's the saying That's what my family always said Always got to pray All because you gave it a wipe. If you gave it a wipe, you wouldn't be married. You wipe, so you wipe.

That's the saying. That's what my family always said. Always get a prep. Always prep. Do the work. Prep. Oh, that's so good, Laura. Good luck in the draw.

We might see you at one of the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley live shows this weekend. What a great story, Laura. Next on the show. Who followed me on Instagram? It's really tickled you, hasn't it? You got a lot. You got a lot. It's really tickled you.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Okay, guys. I've got 43,000 followers. Okay. Oh, she's a big deal. Oh, I'm not even certified. She's a big deal.

I'm not even blue tick, but I'm a pretty big deal. Now I've had three big follows in my life. You know, like some people look back on relationships. I've got, I've had three big relationships. I've had three big follows. Now, is that how many you meant to have? Three. Big relationships. That's what they say until you find the one. i'm what about three three months since two with christian girls that counts i think okay i'll take it you're good now um last year i interviewed jason mamoa and as i left the interview pride of gypsies follows you that was a great great day. It was a great day. And that's your top follow of all time.

I reckon. Okay. Let me just make sure that he's still there. He's got sick of it. He's still there. Does he still view the stories? Or has he blocked you? Has he muted you?

Oh my God, did I just delete him? Did I just click remove? No, sorry. Good, good. I have to be like, hey, can you re-follow me? Yeah, sometimes he sees stories. Okay. Sometimes he misses the ones that

I want him to see. When I'm like, oh yeah, I'm just wearing a bra. Anyway, calm down. You're going to do that thing where you re-upload it and be like, sorry for the re-upload, something happened to the last one. Something happened to the last one. It didn't get enough likes as well. We know, babes.

You're trying to cut through as an influencer and it didn't get enough likes. Yeah. Okay, the second follow came after we interviewed the Wiggles. Yep. And they left and they followed ZDM, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley and they followed us individually. That was a big day. That was pretty exciting.

Okay, let me see if the Wiggles are still following. The Wiggles. Imagine if they're... Still there. Still there. The Wiggles follows Hayley Sproul.

That's amazing. That's amazing. I got a notification and I sent it to the group over the weekend. And do you know what? You've got me to thank for this. Briscoes

followed me. Wow. Briscoes followed me. Who Briscoes Who in no doubt Followed me Who in no doubt Having a sale Now You bet

On a Tuesday Those cheeky beggars Nah Oh they might have An extended Easter sale Until Thursday When they have Their regular Thursday

And then Saturday When they have Their regular Saturday There's always a sale Now why do I have you To thank for this Because on At the week

On Wednesday I went home To have eggs on toast Delicious eggs It's always a sale. Now, why do I have you to thank for this? Because on, at the, when do it, Thursday, I went home to have eggs on toast. Delicious eggs. Yum. Scrambled eggs. Doing it that way that we learnt from the video. Yes. What's that called?

Hot pan. Hot pan. Chop, moving around, moving around, moving around. Collected the liquid. Using the spatula. Yeah. And it makes the most amazing eggs. It's like you're getting a cafe.

Yeah. Oh my God. It's like I'm a chef now. Cafe eggs. Cafe eggs. Yeah. And then, so I amazing eggs. It's like you get in a cafe. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's like I'm a chef now. Cafe eggs. Cafe eggs. Yeah. And then so I had some sourdough left over the other day, so I froze it. Delicious.

And so I put it in the toaster. This man throws away absolutely nothing. We're in a cozy little cry. We're in a cozy little cry. Where did we go and you brought like six crackers that you had kept in a Ziploc bag to add to the platter. It was half a pack of crackers. You could get them in a Ziploc bag. I'm not going to throw away six crackers.

And then like a knob of cheese. No, they were perfectly fine. They were crispy. They were a little bit. There's a hint of moisture. Yeah. A hint of, I've sat on a plate for a few hours.

Excuse me. We don't throw away things and cause you to cry. No, we don't. So I went to put the toast in the toaster and I went, bloop, to, you know, put it down. And the thing on my toaster that holds the toast down is broken. Oh, no. And so I'm like, off it.

So you just have to wait. Yeah, so I was like, well, I've got to get the eggs ready while the toast is on and get everything ready. And then so what I did is I got a big roll of sellotape and taped it down to the bench and I put that on my story. Right. And that's when Briscoes must have seen it and said, do you want a new toaster?

Oh. It was that afternoon and they followed me. What an influencer. I know, so accidental influencer. Did they follow you, Vaughan? But I'd already bought a toaster online. Have a look because it seems strange if they follow Fletch, Most of the people that follow me seem to have a lot of numbers

in their username and then massive breasts. Yep, massive breasts. Huge breasts. Huge breasts. Huge breasts. Well, you've got a type, don't you? Well, no, how do they know? They just know.

It's the internet. They're coming for me. Now, how do I see if they follow? Go on your phone. This is embarrassing. Briscoes follow me. I follow them back. So give me the follow back button. Oh, are you going to do it? Are you... This is embarrassing. Briscoes follow me, I follow them back. So give me the follow back button.

Oh, are you going to do it? Are you playing hard to get with briscoes? I'm playing hard to get. You're flirting. So it was a very lovely offer from them, but I had already purchased a toaster online because I wasn't messing around. The moment he felt it not catchy, he went...

New. Bought. And then just threw his old one out the window as soon as he was done with it. No, I put it in the bin downstairs. But I didn't know if that was a thing you can chuck out in the landfill, so I wrapped it up in, like, other rubbish

to disguise it in the rubbish bin. Some asbestos. Yeah, yeah. How many people, because when I saw your story of you sellotaping it down, how many people were like, well, that's dangerous. You'll start a house fire.

A lot of that, and the majority of comments were, I bet Briscoe's is having a sale. Which I did tell Briscoe's when they offered me a free toaster. I said well, you should know that your marketing's working. Yeah, it's great advertising. Yeah. We laugh about it, don't we? Yeah. They're always having a sale. Always having a sale.

EB Games, they're also chronic for a sale. Are they? Yeah. And they put the big red posters out everywhere. They love a sale. Rebel Sport. Yeah, they love a sale. Are they? Yeah. And they put the big red posters out everywhere. They love a sale. Rebel Sport. Yeah, they love a sale. Same company. Same company.

Yeah. Well, this is, I mean, whether or not I got it on my own volitional on your back. They're always having a sale. Pretty happy with that one. Shut up. We are sick of your shit.

You know what? If you, Vaughn, shut up. Get a life. Grow up. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn. Shut up. Get a life. Grow up. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. There was a man who was climbing

Mount Vesuvius, which is in Naples. Which is in Italy. Naples. Naples. It's pronounced Naples. It's like apple. Naples.

It's like nipples, but with a funny accent. Yeah. Lovely nappers. Oh, I love your nappies. He was climbing it and then he went to take a

photo. As you do. Standing at the summit. Dropped his phone and as he was trying to retrieve it, he fell into like a big crater, I guess, of this volcano. Which erupts all the time or has? I guess, of this volcano. Which like erupts all the time or has? I mean, there's been some famous.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's not where you just leave your phone. It's gone. Goodbye phone. Goodbye phone.

You're all good. Claim insurance and get the hell off the volcano. I lost one of my iconic blue hats in the, you know, the red crater on the Tongariro Crossing? Yeah. That looks like a lady bit. Yes.

Yeah, it just blow up. See what it looks like? It looks like a vulva. Yeah, it looks like a vulva. Oh wait, you really choked on that

didn't you? It feels like you haven't seen one for a while. Is Margaret holding off? Yeah. Have you guys not crossed that line? Wow.

I mean that might be the secret. My fictitious wife. No, no, we haven't. No, we haven't. Now, Mount Vesuvius is a stratovolcano. That means it sings the high part in the volcano choir. I don't think that's the... Ha! Ha-boom!

Ka-boom! Anyway, he fell subsequently. Oh my goodness. But he didn't get burnt. He was just like cut up and his whole back had to be rescued. That's a shame because that doesn't count as a sacrifice. No.

It was a virgin and everything but it just didn't fall into the larvae bits. So then there was a study saying that over the course of six years, global study, 260 people have died taking selfies. Do you know, my kids are obsessed with people dying in the Grand Canyon at the moment.

Why? Ever been to the Grand Canyon, Dad? I was like, no. Is it on TikTok or something? It must have been. Do you know how many people die taking selfies, silly selfies in the Grand Canyon? I was like, I do not know. They either fall in or they go hiking and it gets insanely hot.

Yes. And they just die. And they just die. Yeah. Your kids need to get out and run around with a ball. They shouldn't be reading that shit. They were running around me like, imagine if we were doing this in Grand Canyon.

Let's talk. Obviously, we don't want to hear from you if you've died taking a selfie. Please don't call us if you've died taking a selfie. Good morning to our dead listeners, but this is not for you. We want to keep it nice and light. They average 12 deaths a year at the Grand Canyon. Oh, wow. Over 900 people on record have died at the Grand Canyon.

Yeah. Doing silliness. Wow. Silliness. We want to know when you hurt yourself taking a photo. Because a lot of the time you will be near the edge of a cliff. Absolutely. Or the edge of, yeah.

Or walking along, maybe taking a video. Stop saying that word, you're giving me flashbacks. Sorry, Paul. Maybe you could be on the- Precipice. On the- Precipice. Precipice. On the... Precipice. Precipice.

Of the cliff. Yes. Yeah, but... The side. The precipice. And whenever you hurt yourself taking a selfie, 0800-DARZIT, and we'd love to take your call. You can text through 9696.

Injuries big and small. When did you hurt yourself taking a photo? A man fell from Mount Vesuvius. Not right to the bottom, but just tumbled a bit. Yeah. Because he was taking a selfie, dropped his phone, and right to the bottom, but just tumbled a bit. Yeah. Because he was taking a selfie, dropped his phone, and went to fetch the phone

like an idiot. Like an absolute what's in his head. Just let it go. Although, you know, phones are so expensive. Literally embedded in his skull now rocks.

Yeah. So we wanted to know when you have hurt yourself, injured yourself in any way while taking a photo. I'm trying to think, but you were waving at the tram when you walked into that pole. No. Yeah, that wasn't a photo. I'm trying to think, but you were waving at the tram when you walked into that pole.

That wasn't a photo. I thought you were taking a video. No. Some text messages in on people who have hurt themselves. Someone said they were trying to get a cool selfie while mowing the lawns.

Don't do that. And then the mower was a self-propelled mower and it got away and then trying to catch it, they ran over the toe of their boot. Could have been a lot worse. They didn't lose any toes.

There was a man in the town that I grew up in who mowed over his own legs. Gone. He mowed over his own legs? Yeah. Now, I was a kid at the time, and that was the story. How did he mow over his own legs? I shouldn't laugh.

How did he mow over his own legs? No, that sounds like something your parents tell you when there's a man with no legs. No legs. So that you're super safe around the mower. So you stopped faffing about on the mower. Was this a lie? I think it was a lie. I think you could have been lied to.

I was told he mowed over his own legs. It doesn't sound right. Right. Maybe ask Patsy. Unless it was like one of those mowers that would come to the school behind a tractor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it got off the tractor. Yeah, that would take your leg.

Jeez, yeah, that would make a mess here. But how would it stop at the legs? Keep your texts coming in. 9696. You can call 0800DARLS at M. How you hurt yourself while taking a photo. A man tumbled on Mount Vesuvius. Taking a photo?

Taking a photo. Absolutely had to get rescued. Scathed his back. Terrible. We want to know when you hurt yourself taking a photo. I was perched atop a tree for a lovely landscape photo. Branch snapped. I hit every branch on the way down.

Two broken ribs. Great photo though. Yeah, but is it a photo you'll ever look at again? That's what I think every time I take a photo of a landscape. Would you ever do that photo? Is it in Norway where people go out on that overhanging rock? No. No, dog. I like to live. Because people go out on that overhanging rock? Nope. No, not at all.

I like to live. Because people have died doing that, hey? I reckon AI could probably just put me out there with it. Yeah, exactly. I could look at it and be like, I'll remember it. And then I'll see the AI photo so often that in my own memory, I convinced myself I did. Yeah, that's how I like to live.

You like to gaslight yourself. I do. I gaslight myself constantly. I leave the gas on as long as I don't light anything. No kablooey. No. Just a bit dum-dum-dooey. Reprogram my memories. I was at the wharf getting some happy holiday snaps

and one of the kids wharf jumping bumped into me during their run up. I slipped on the wet wood, fractured my wrist and this is why I shan't have children. Oh yeah. I was trying to take a flirty pillow pick. I'm in bed and i dropped the phone on my face and gave myself a blood nose and a black eye jeepers i was getting a selfie with a potential boy it was our first date and a cyclist absolutely took us out but we are now recently engaged

not not me and the cyclist me and the the guy i was on a date with me that would be a great twist yeah with you end up with the cyclist. I'm sorry, and you're like, don't pay. Maybe when you tell the story, leave the gas on and tell yourself the story that the person you're now engaged with was the cyclist. Yeah, better story. Yeah, way better story, actually. Gaslight yourself.

That's my advice to everybody this week. If it's not what you want it to be be gaslight yourself. Now, I excel in towing. Do you? I'm a great tower. Are you a good reverser with a trailer? Yes. Are you? I'm not at all.

Because we grew up on a farm. I guess my dad would be like, go and get that in, back it in there. I'm good at reversing, but I don't think I've ever in my entire life reversed a trailer. Back to trailer. It makes no sense. Because it's oppositey oppositey. Yeah.

Yeah, you've got to do a bit of a dance. You get jackknifed and you're like, how do I get out of here? Yeah, you want to avoid that. Aaron can't do it either. It's something he really wants to practice. Don't come on the radio and tell everybody you're mad. Come back a trailer. That's why he sits in the cuck chair.

That's horrible. Do you know what I mean? What, your eyeball? No, look at Aaron. He looks like he could back a trailer. He does. He'll lose his beard. The beard committee will come round and put him through the furrow beard test.

Oh my god, no, he can't lose his weak chin. Don't come on in your face. He can't pack a trailer, he's got a weak chin. If he takes it up the driveway, does he like tackle the stuff off and then unclip it and wheel it down? Yes. Oh my God. I know. It's really embarrassing.

I know. Look, we'll work on it. Please don't tell anyone else. Okay. Everybody, we've got to keep that order ourselves. Please, please, please. Don't talk about it. Because he's quite manly, but this is like... This is not his thing. It's bad. Backing a trailer got to keep that. All to ourselves. Please, please, please. Don't talk about it. Because he's quite manly, but this is not his thing.

It's bad. Backing a trailer is not his thing. He tucks when he does it, because he knows. When he unhooks the trailer, he manginas. He manginas. Are we allowed to say that? He doesn't deserve it. For those that celebrate. For those that celebrate. Otherwise, forget I said anything.

I'm not going to be able to look them in the eye. I know you're shook by this. No, you have to treat them with respect. I will put my acting degree. Did I do an acting degree at Toy Fakade? No, I think I did that. Did you do the acting degree? I did it.

I get confused if I've ever done an acting degree because I'm so good at gaslighting myself. Yes. Give me until tomorrow and I'll have myself convinced I did an acting degree at Toy Fakade. You will. I'll remember the pancake. Yeah.

It's my memory now. It's your story and now it's my memory. That was when you had to pretend to be pancakes. To be a pancake. Yeah.

And you paid how much for this degree? Well, all up with all the additional $40,000. Did I? I paid it back but you might have got it.

Oh no, I came from a very rich family. They paid for my education. What? What? Are these my memories? So at the weekend, I towed a boat.

Far out. That's when it comes to towing. You don't like boats. I don't like boats. Why have you got a boat all of a sudden? You don't own a boat. Towing a boat. Towing a mate's boat.

Okay. Must be nice. Not even your boat. Not my boat. I'm not paying for a boat. Do you know how much boats cost? Oh, my God, mate's boat. Okay. Must be nice. Not even your boat. Not my boat. I'm not paying for a boat. Do you know how much boats cost? Oh my god, it's ridiculous. I'm beginning to think it's a rich man's game.

So, I towed a boat. I'm pretty good at towing a boat too. As it turns out, that's my first time towing a boat a long distance. I wouldn't want that responsibility. Neither. It's not your boat. And you always see them come off. Yeah.

Which is quite humorous. How often have you seen it? Always. I agree. You're misusing the term always. You're misusing the word always. Always means every single time. Look online.

Always boats coming off. I would say very rarely. What do you mean coming off? Slipping off the back. Mostly used to user error. Someone's not strapping it down. They do come off that often. They do all the time.

All the time? All the time. I don't know. They do all the time. Well, I'm going to be very terrified next time I see a boat on a trailer. Yeah, I'll be like, apparently most of the time these are coming off. Most of the time. It didn't come off for me,

but you would think it was on the verge of flying off due to my erratic driving because on a 100 kilometer journey, I was told 12 times how to drive. 12 times by a woman who, and I quote, has never driven with a trailer on. Yeah. Does not tow, cannot reverse a trailer, but felt inspired and empowered from the passenger princess seat where she sits every time we go somewhere because she doesn't like driving if a man's in the car. Oh, really? Because she likes to become the driving instructor.

Yeah, right. And she's also had one of those brakes put in, a dual brake, hasn't she? You would think so. So she can stop if you're going too fast. Yeah. And an emergency handle that's grabbed, but you've got to activate it by gasping and also putting your hand going too fast. Yeah. And an emergency handle that's grabbed, but you've got to activate it by gasping and also putting your hand on the dashboard.

Now, if you are about to have an accident, putting your hand on the dashboard is a bad idea because the airbag's going to blow straight out and you'll break your arm and smash your bloody whole arm, won't you? So it got to the point where I let... I was counting in my head the first five times I was told how to drive. Didn't say anything.

Were you doing that thing because you do love a close following distance? No, no. I allowed for following distance because I am, check the records, a great driver. A great, okay, yeah. A great toer. Slow. Well, I was going slow because when you're towing a trailer or a boat, maximum speed, 90 kilometers an hour.

I thought it was 80. I thought it was 80. That's 90, Hon. Read your road code. This is why I'm a good tower. I know my numbers. I check the height of the boat. We weren't going through the drive-thru or anything, but I just like to know my height clearance.

Because I am, check the records, an actor from Toy Fakade with a $40,000... No, Hon, that's me. That's you again. But you're a good tower. I'm a good tower. You're a good tower. Slow driver. First five times

I've been told how to do it. I let it slide. The sixth one, all I said was What is she saying? Like, what's her suggestions? Oh, the trailer's tyre is too close

to the side of the road. That's where the tyre goes. Hon, on the side. We don't want it to be in the middle. All that. In the middle. We're going over the middle. Pull over and In the middle. We're going over the middle. Pull over and let people pass.

Where on this curvy part of the road am I going to pull over and let people pass? As soon as I got to it. I wish you would pull over, though. I wish you would. I did. As soon as we got to a straight, where it was safe, I pulled over. You can't pull over on the curb. People will go around you.

What if a car's coming the other way? You're going to cause an accident. Again, check the ring lord. A great tower. Did people give you a little courtesy too? Yeah, because I did that. That's how you know you haven't kept them for too long.

I always do too. Meep, meep. Meep, meep. Thank you. Meep, meep. Five times let it go. Sixth time harder to drive. All I say is six.

That's all I say. Next time she says something I let it go. Next time after that I say eight. And then the kids say what do the numbers mean? Yeah. And I don't say anything. Next time nine. I say out loud. And then the kids say, what do the numbers mean? And I don't say anything.

Next time, nine. I say out loud. And August is like, he's counting how many times mum's telling him how to drive. So then they join the fun and the games. Next time. It's like car cricket. Car cricket. Way more toxic.

Yeah. Dad's going to hit a century. Toxic is a great word for what's happening here. So next time, Sade was like, slow down. We're coming into a built-up area. Yeah. Thanks. That's what the signs are for.

Yeah. It says 50 ahead. Everybody in unison. 10. That slowed it right down once the kids were on board. And she didn't stop once she knew what the game was

she can't help herself oh okay no you can't she's a qualified driving instructor yeah out it comes yeah

so yeah how did you get to 12 12 because I think the last three when it was all like a chorus line of people

saying the number yeah that really put the brakes on what about the way home? She was pretty quiet. Okay. She was pretty quiet. Tuck it out.

She was all tuck it out. Yeah, she was all tuck it out from the boat trips. Yeah, sure. She did a big weekend of telling people how to do stuff. Yeah, it's exhausting. It's exhausting being a professional

in an area that you've got no experience in. Yeah. From someone who tells a man what to do constantly. It is exhausting. It was a long weekend, so she was getting more hours with me than usual.

You can only imagine her match fitness was used to weekdays. Yeah. All of a sudden she's got five days of telling me how to do things. A little sprites will tuck it out. She's exhausted. Oh, my gosh. And it was a public holiday, so I'm assuming she was, you know,

time and a half? Time and a half of her day in lieu. Yeah, of course. Constantly tell me how to do everything in my life. Oh, my gosh. I'm was a public holiday, so I'm assuming she was, you know, time and a half? Time and a half of her day in lieu. Yeah, of course. To constantly tell me how to do everything in my life. Oh my gosh. I'm tired just hearing it. Yeah. It's been a big weekend for women everywhere.

It has been. With men in their lives. I'm just like, on behalf of all men, I'd like to thank you for your service over this long weekend. Yeah, you're welcome. On behalf of all men. Because we did not know what we were doing. No.

In any regard in our lives. What happens if two lesbians go away towing a boat? Do they tell each other what to do? You know what? It never happens. Because it happened once. They call it

the great 1987 Mazda Ute Marco boat debacle. Yeah. Okay, right. It just, when you become a lesbian,

they give you the handbook. Trigger warning, trigger warning for our lesbians because they don't like to talk about that. This is very triggering for our lesbian listeners, but they, give you the handbook. Trigger warning for our lesbians because they don't like to talk about that. This is very triggering for our lesbian listeners, but they get a handbook.

Okay, right. A couple of do's and don'ts in there. There's a real couple of do's and don'ts. And the don'ts, the sealed section on the don't is do not go away towing a boat. Towing a boat in the same car.

Yeah, right. At least there's a man present. They can go in two different cars, but you've heard of the towing a boat. Towing a boat in the same car. Yeah, right. At least there was a man present. Right. They can go in two different cars, but you've heard of the what happens when an unstoppable object meets an immovable, an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. Yeah.

What happens if two gays go away with a boat? Silence. Oh, no. I'm just saying it's not getting backed out of the driveway. It's getting pulled. They had to get their straight mate around to take care of it. Yeah. Or a lesbian.

Or a lesbian. And that's a dangerous. Yeah. As long as she's alone. Yeah. You know the great explosion in Oppenheimer? Yeah. Nothing on this.

Right. Someone messaged in saying, I know some lesbians with a BT50. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I think that's under the do section in the manual. Do get yourself a nice, sensible ute. That's what Aaron's got. You are going to have to help all of your friends move soon.

I've been selling stuff on Trade Me. I'm over it. But people are getting bargains. I did $1 reserves and they're getting bargains. And I sold, what did I sell? It was like a fire guard, you know, like a screen. Oh, yeah. That you put up.

Is there a market for those? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For all those open fires and stuff. Dude, why we owned it, I have no idea. Aaron bought it. It was like antique-y and it was brass and it had like a picture on it and stuff. Okay.

Quite cute. What was the picture? A deer? It was like a scene. Yeah, it's always a scene. Okay. Farming scene. Yeah, like a farming scene.

Yeah. And anyway, the guy, I got rid of a complaint because my communication was slow to get to this fella. You weren't just like falling over yourselves for $1 to communicate with the guy who paid $1? He paid more than $1. He paid $20 for it. Oh, $20.

Yeah. Anyway, I messaged him. Oh, sorry. You know, I didn't see. I forgot. Also, it's the long weekend. Yeah, I know. It's public holidays.

Yeah. And then he was like, oh, I live like 10 minutes away. Right. I was like, great.. It's public holidays. Yeah, and then he was like, oh, I live like 10 minutes away. Right. And I was like, great. Cool. Come on over. Anyway, I opened the door and he had this sort of smile on his face. Like, oh yeah. And he goes, actor and comedian.

And I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. Was he introducing himself? Yeah, I don't know. He had a little winky in his eye. Okay. And I was like, right. And I said, yeah.

And he said, I see on your email. Because at the bottom of my email, it says actor, comedian, marching girl. Now, I haven't marched or acted for a long time. Yeah, those are my she, they's. Yeah. Actor, comedian, marching girl. And he was sort of like quoting it. And then I could tell he was like looking at my face to be like,

what do I know you from? You know, like what would you have acted in that I would know? And I just said like, oh yeah, I'll do a lot of things. $20 please and gave him the thing. But I've come to the conclusion just as now, because we experienced in Christchurch, we got kind of mobbed at Matchbox 20 who thought maybe we're too famous to holiday in Christchurch

now. That joke needs explanation to people who just think you're being a prick. That is what somebody once said to us. They said they were too famous to holiday in Christchurch, to which I said that's about the most ridiculous thing that's ever come out of your mouth. And many ridiculous things came out of this woman's mouth.

So this was quite the trophy awarded. Yeah. So I think that maybe I'm too famous now to sell on Trade Me. Right. Oh, really? Okay, yeah, right. I can see you was having a little peep

inside the house, you know. Yeah, but then it... How the rich live. You were like, mortgage to the hills with a half-finished house. See all the dust, sir? We live like this. Anyway, it to a half-finished house. See all the dust, sir? We live like this.

Anyway, it was a bit of a strange interaction. Okay, but was that a bit humbling that he didn't know you from anywhere? Yeah, I could tell he was searching my face and then was probably quite disappointed when he saw an actor comedian that he would be like, oh, probably some sort of big shot. And then was like, no, I don't recognise you from anywhere. What was the last thing you acted in? It's been dry, hasn't it?

Almost like that $40,000 acting degree was not worth it. Hang on, there's something. Didn't you play an extra in that? Yeah, it was an extra. And that was paid or was that voluntary? Paid, yeah. Oh no, she crossed union lines. You're not allowed to be an

unpaid extra, but she was so desperate. I think I got a countdown voucher for that. I think a $20 countdown. Okay, well technically an actor then. Technically still an actor. ZM's Fletch Vordern actor. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

This week's fact of the day theme is misnomers. Okay. Misnomers are noun that refers to a wrong, misleading, or inappropriate use of a name or designation. It is also used to refer to the misleading name or designation itself. Isn't that something? Do you reckon you've got four days in this? It sounds quite specific.

There is hundreds of examples of things named things that should not be named. Oh, okay. I like this. I like this one because it came about from an experience that I had. Okay. Made some s'mores at the weekend. S'mores. Oh, yeah. S'mores.

Now, people sometimes get a Jaffa Thin for a s'more, but it's not crackery enough. Because in America, they're called graham crackers. Graham crackers. Is that like a super wine? It is basically a digestive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're more grainy. So the trick to

the s'more is to get a chocolate digestive. Because then it's got the chocolate and the cracker all in one. Yes. A Wheaton. Are you adding more chocolate though? Chocolate Wheaton. Oh yeah, absolutely adding more chocolate. So you're not adding more chocolate, though? Chocolate, we can. Oh, you're absolutely adding more chocolate. On a digester, you're not adding more chocolate. Also, it's not quite a thick bit of chocolate.

Sometimes those giant marshmallows, I'm not a fan. They're not marshmallow-y enough. Yuck, I hate marshmallows. You know, they're too synthetic. We got these big marshmallows and you had to rip them in half. They were so massive, you had to rip them in half for the biscuit. Okay. Otherwise, they were too much marshmallow.

Yeah, right. See, I'd just go smaller ones. I reckon the traditional smaller ones melt better. The smaller, yeah, they do melt better. The coffee ones. The girls were anti them, my daughters, because of how dusty they've become.

The smaller marshmallows are coated in cornflour. Or could you just wash them? No. Shut up. It's your turn to shut up. Shut your head of yours. Well, the adults are talking.

So we got a bag of digestives and some big marshmallows. And then the girl said, why are they called digestives? And I was like, never questioned it. They've always just been called digestives.

When they invented and then the selling thing was it's great for your digestion because of fibre. No, it's not the fibre that was great for the digestion. It was because of the antacid properties that they believed at the time belonged to sodium bicarbonate.

Oh, yeah. Baking soda. Right. Two Scottish doctors invented the digestive. Of course, never was coated with chocolate. No. That's a recent variant of the digestive. So the digestive is a misnomer because it does not at all aid in digestion. No, it's just an ultra-processed food.

And that, they think, is the main reason that they're not sold under that name in the States. Because it's misleading. Yeah, right. The title is misleading. A misnomer, if you will. Yeah, right. Did you also know a quick little sub fact about the digestive?

May have broken up the Beatles. Why? I thought that was... Yoko. During the 1969 recording of Abbey Road, the Beatles went into, they'd recorded

and they went into the part where they do the recording. God, he knows his stuff, this guy. He knows the technical terms. He does. They went from where they play their instruments into the recording booth

to listen to a playback of a song. While they were in there, Yoko Ono, still in with all the instruments, she won't piss off, she won't take a hint. Helped herself to George Harrison's box of McVitie's digestive biscuits. Oh, you're right. When they re-entered the room.

You don't touch another man's McVitie's. Someone's been eating my biscuits. Yerko Ono, crumbs will run her gob. Oh, right. He lost that at Yerko Ono in which John Lennon defends his wife. They lose their temper. The beginning of the end of the Beatles. Well over a digestive

biscuit. Which does my wife. And wasn't even chocolate coated. And wasn't even aiding in digestion. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is digestives, somewhat misleading in their name, earned them the label of misnomer number one for the week. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,'s filth. It's smut that women should watch their mouths. Filth, women shouldn't be speaking these words. Don't shy away from the opinion you give us every week.

You say, hi girls, nice to see you working on that. More smut, I see. Smut, yeah. That grotesque smut. That is not what I've said at all. Ladies should be ladies. Ladies should be ladies, and that sort of talk should be kept to the bedroom.

That's right. Now, season two has been absolutely wild, and it is coming to an end. It is coming to an end. It is coming to an end. What episode are we up to now? Eight? Eight or nine out tomorrow, maybe? Yeah, I think.

I should know. No, eight. Eight's out tomorrow. And then there's episode nine, which I just honestly, I cried. I don't know how, but tears started pouring from my eyes. Like laughing tears or crying tears? No, I was laughing, and then I was moved, and I don't know how, but tears started pouring from my eyes. Like laughing tears or crying tears? No, I was laughing and then I was moved. And I don't know what happened.

It's so weird. It's so, it is so insane. Anyway, Ep 10, as it was last season, isn't Ask Us Anything. So if you've listened to the podcast and you have a myriad of questions or you want to go deeper into some stuff, or you want some advice from Morgan, who's a, you know, somatic sexologist, we're doing an Ask Us Anything. And you need the help,

you need the questions for that. Yes. So if you, I think we're going to put up some stuff on Instagram as well, like a question box. Right, yep. But you can also text ask to 9696, and then your question, and that'll come straight to us.

And we'll like try and get to as many and cover as many like areas. In episode 10. And it's literally like nothing's off the table. I think you should do ask, A-S-K as a keyword, but also ask. Ask. A-K-S. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, we'll have ask there as well.

Because the Q&A of the last season was wild as well. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, so many people want to know, like, what's happened with you and Cowboy? Or, like, yeah, like, when you listen to Ep 9, there's going to be so many questions. Some people are like, where are these places that she went to?

You can literally ask us anything. I mean, you can ask me. I'm less interesting. Text ask and your I'm less interesting. Text ask and your question to 9696. And don't forget as well, the Sex.Life podcast is all thanks to wildsecrets.co.nz. You can jump on there and get a 20% discount on your next purchase with the promo code sex.life.

I used the promo code for the delivery that just arrived this morning. Which is a prop at the live show. For our live show. Okay, I don't know how to pronounce this place, but it's called Grobunden. In Germany? Switzerland.

Switzerland. Okay. Switzerland or Sweden? Switzerland. I'm out. Why? Because they're so neutral. You can't be out.

Yeah. I tell you what, though. If we're looking for positives, their flag. Easy. It's beautiful. It's a big plus. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Shut up. I'll see you later, guys. This is your second dad joke this show. I'll see you later. Yeah, it's good enough. Knock off, mate. Knock off. That was good from you joke this show. I'll see you later. Yeah, it's good enough. Knock off, mate. Knock off. That was good from you.

Hey, thanks. And you can leave. Yeah, I think we've nearly got there. Yeah. We've had enough of you. So this town called Guntbunden, Guntbunden, was preparing for the Easter influx of tourists.

Like a lot of small towns around New Zealand, though. Yeah. What's so touristy about this town? It's beautiful. Just anywhere in Switzerland is beautiful. It's just stunning. It's by the Alps. It's just a stunning town.

So to get to this place, it's kind of like our motorways. There's a big motorway, and then you've got to turn off. Like you're going to Cambridge. You've got to this place, it's kind of like our motorways. There's a big motorway and then you've got to turn off. Like you're going to Cambridge. You've got to turn off, right? They don't want them. They don't want the tourists. They're like, we just want to have a nice, quiet weekend, just keeping to ourselves, you know?

So what they do is they create these barriers that they put on these sort of turn offs. Yeah. And it's cars and they park their cars. They all get together and create what looks like a fake traffic jam. So that tourists coming through the motorway see it and they're like, oh, that's all jammed up. We'll just stay on the motorway. And we'll go to the next town.

And they'll miss that town. So they're not stopping people coming to holiday there or stay. It's people that just want to turn off for a, I don't know, a drink. For a cozy, jam it in. How do you turn off to stay if there's cars in the way? I don't know. They just jam them. And then if you get in that line.

There's a social backlog that fools drivers and sat nav into thinking that there's massive congestion on that highway. Because anyone with Google Maps will turn off and won't go that way, so it would show up as an accident. Yeah, so the satellites will show a big red line being like, nah, jammed, not moving. Go to the next town. Go to the next thing.

But then surely the businesses would be upset at that. Like, you know, your small town bakeries and servos and stuff. Would they not be? Yeah, I don't know. They just don't want them. They don't want tourists. They just want to keep it quiet for Easter. I kind of like it.

It's kind of funny. It's sort of funny. And they all get together like in the morning, rides, get in your cars, and we'll just leave them here for the day. We'll come back later. And they just have a nice, quiet Easter. Amazing. Good for them, man.

If you like today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.