ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 2nd February 2024

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

LIVE from Christchurch    Top 6: Chlöe Swarbrick slogans  Special Guest: John Aiken from Married at First sight  Producer Shannon had a nightmare about Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley LONG WEEKEND GROUP TOOT Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Grab any medium cafe hot coffee for just $4. Only in the app. Ends Feb 9. Today, broadcasting out of our Christchurch studios. Hi, Christchurch. Well, hi New Zealand.

Still to everybody else too. Oh, I thought we were just exclusively to Christchurch. No, we wouldn't do that to the rest of the country. Now, so these studios are pretty flashy and new. Watch this. Oh, my God. I can make our desk go up or down. I'll make it go up.

How far up? Would you go make it all the way up and we do a show standing? Hang on. No, you've got my breasts. Now they're going up. Keep going up. Keep going up. Oh, you're giving a big cleave push.

Oh, that's as high as the breast can go that's quite good actually i feel about 26 okay okay i'm just gonna go down where are you going down too low too low oh i'm about to crush my leg that's too low we'll go back up is this good listening is this good radio i think it's terrible i can't really hear the desk if you're quiet you'll hear the desk hang. Go quiet and do the desk. I don't know if you can hear it. No, it's too quiet. It's actually really quiet.

You can probably do it on the run. I feel like this show is going to be technologically better today. We could do a guessing game with the listeners. Are we standing or are we sitting as we broadcast? Oh, yeah, that'd be good. We'll just switch it up the whole time. Currently sitting. Currently sitting. Yeah. Are we standing or are we sitting as we broadcast? Oh, yeah, that'll be good. We'll just switch it up the whole time. Currently sitting.

Currently sitting. Yeah. Now, last night, we dinnered differently. We dinnered not together. Yeah, we did. Well, those of us with crippling mortgages decided this was already an expensive enough weekend in Christchurch for our second wedding in a row. Yeah, in the space of a week.

Yeah, yeah, one week apart. So you, and might I say, I'm very glad because we met up after dinner that you didn't rub it in our face too much. You played down how delicious Fifth Street is. I did. I said I was all right. Even though you know it was amazing.

I said, what did you eat? Did you eat beef? He said, oh, we ate all the things. Yeah, yeah. You played it down. That part was whenever we were asking people local to Christchurch, where's something super cheap and cheerful? Yeah.

They'd be like, oh, where's Fletch off to? Where's your mate off to? And we'd say Fifth Street. And they're like, oh, that'd feel really sorry for us. That's one of the best restaurants ever. We're like, we know. Yeah. We've eaten there once and we're still financially recovering from it.

Yeah. But so worth it. Oh, my gosh. I got way more enjoyment out of spending money there than I do every month paying my mortgage. Oh my God, same. Mine went out yesterday. It was such a good day. So you decided that you'd go cheap and cheerful.

Yeah, well, we went to, we were having a drink together before you left and we asked the waitress, like, we're somewhere like we want cheap, almost like D grade health rating, BYO. We've talked about it before. If you're going to go for that, and the rating's got to be in the threes, like out of five stars. Yeah. And so we found this, she recommended this place, won't say the name, but she recommended

this place. It was rocking a 3.8, so that's high threes. That's perfect. Perfect, yeah. And she's like, the thing about it is it's got a huge menu. And I was just like, this is all so great. We'll just get enough for the table, probably spend like $100 between five of us. Perfect.

Yeah, cost effective. Cost effective. Yeah. So I was like, all right, let's get, and, and BYO. Yeah, good. And walkable. And just around the corner from a booze store. Okay.

So these are all, the stars are aligning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until we turned up and we got there and we're like, oh, oh no, I'll show you, Fletch, the front door of the place. And it didn't immediately entice me. Oh no, I wouldn't walk in there. And we were told that it's a place where you don't go for

dinner, you kind of wind up there. You start there if you're a student or you end up there if you're boozed. Yeah. And then we walked in and the stairs were a little bit sticky and everybody chickened out. I chickened out. I was the first.

I was like, I don't know because I didn't want to. I was like, what if we get ill and then tomorrow at the wedding we're sitting there drawing the beautiful vows of Matt and Mike and then I was telling them to like, Good story.

Good story for later. When I was looking at the menu though, I was very disappointed. My wife, who is of Chinese descent. Yeah. Is that how I'll say it today? She chickened out. She chickened out, too.

Did she chicken out? It's like your father would be, like, this had my father-in-law written all duck blood noodles and stuff. Yeah. Like, it had him written all over it. Yeah. And then she chickened out. And then everybody chickened out. And I was like, I am very disappointed with you all.

I guess when your Birkenstocks are sticking to the floor when you're walking. You know what I mean? That's not a good sign. We did try another place across the road and we chickened out of that place. But producer Jared did manage to take a poop in there. Did he poop? Well, while we were looking at the, did you poop, Jared? Or was it just a wee?

I thought it was just a wee. Yeah. Was it a number ones or a number twos? Oh, he can't hear us. Can't hear us. Quite wild to walk into a- That restaurant where you didn't eat but you went to the bathroom, did you number ones or number twos? Just a number ones or a number twos? Oh, he can't hear us. Can't hear us. Quite wild to walk into it. That restaurant we didn't eat, but you went to the bathroom. Did you number ones or number twos?

Just the number ones. Just the number ones. He took his time. Quite rude when you're not eating there. He used the toilet and then just leave. He used us looking at the menu, but they weren't dumplings, so we abandoned. Right. Anyway.

So we went round the corner to Little High Eatery. Oh, delicious. Okay. Options. Options. Good stuff. That's what Iy. Oh, delicious. Okay. Options. Options. Good stuff. That's what I love. I love options.

He ate chicken wings so hot that he was crying. Yeah. They were real hot, but man, they were good. But did you save money? No. No. I didn't. I ate four mains.

Oh, we did. When we caught up with you after, I think we'd spent about the same amount of money. Yeah, probably. No, I think we were like 50 a head with drinks. Right, okay, so your cheap night out. Well, me and Aaron were. Right, okay. We were more. I got carried away.

Not so cheap. As per. So the not a big night ended up being a semi-big night. Well, we were alright though. We called it at the end, didn't we? Because we went to a biker bar. Right. We went to a biker bar and Right. We went to a biker bar and I tell you what,

Fletch walked in and he absolutely screwed up his nose and I looked at him and he said, my face isn't doing anything. It was. My face gives it away,

doesn't it? He was complaining because his cider was too sweet. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Live from Christchurch. Yeah, long weekend group tour today. You will be in the traffic.

Yeah. In amongst the Christchurch traffic, Hayley. Do you know what? So, producer Jared, are you driving or I'm driving? I believe I'm driving. Jared's going to drive. Oh, I think he's quite scared

to drive the big Jeep. I think you'll get lost. We can put some blocks on the pedals. Yeah. It's big. I would say conservatively twice the size of your car. The Vitz.

Yeah, the Vitz. Does he need a booster seat? We've got Jeep Wranglers. But 8 o'clock, join us. Our short kings don't deserve this. Oh, no, no, we stand. We stand as short kings. Join us wherever you are in New Zealand for the Long Weekend Group Tour this morning after the news at 8 o'clock.

So, as of today, there are around 2,700 billionaires in the world. That's a lot. That's a lot. And there must be, do you have figures on millionaires? Because there'd be heaps, right? Oh no, I don't. Not before my very eyes. I'm going to refer to my friend here to the right tour. Can you Google that? Yeah. How many millionaires in the world? In the world. Or in New Zealand? In the world. I feel like there'd be lots. There'd be so many. 62.4 million. Out of the population of 8.1 billion people, just In New Zealand. In the world. I feel like there'd be lots. There'd be so many. 62.4. Out of the population of 8.1 billion people, just 62.4 million are millionaires.

That's 0.8% of the population. Jeepers. Wow, okay. I would have thought it would be more, but I suppose there are lots of countries that you wouldn't even have many thousandaires. No. I'm a thousandaire, and I'm happy with it. A thousandaire.

As in you've got $1,000 on payday kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the mortgage did come out yesterday, and it was happy with it. The thousandaire. As in you've got $1,000 on payday kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the mortgage did come out yesterday and it was a biggie, so. Did you enjoy your time as the thousandaire? Yeah, I did. Yeah, it felt good.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm still net negative millionaires. Oh, I'm negative millionaire. Yeah. For sure a negative millionaire. So it was 2,700 billionaires in the world today. They have estimated that it's going to take 10 years, only 10 years until we have our first trillionaire.

It's not going to be Elon Musk. Well, he's top of the list now. Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Bernard Arnault, and then Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg after that. Right. Feminism. Where's Taylor Swift? Where's the woman?

Well, she's a billionaire now right? After this tour Yeah She's just kind of clocked that I don't know if she's got a billionaire account But she's like earned a billion Yeah right got the assets and earned She should buy the Kansas City Chiefs

That would be such a baller move If she was like I'm going to buy Or she buys like a cheap NFL team That's not doing well And then just tells Travis to play for them. And then just like buys the badass players. That'd be rad. So

they've worked out that it would take at the current rate 230 years to end poverty. But I think that's like it'll take 230 years to end poverty if it didn't get worse. Right, from here.

Yeah. But would it take one trillionaire to end that? The speed at which we're getting richer is so much quicker. We're heading towards the world of trillionaires in 10 years, but it's going to take three or four lifetimes to end poverty. Just looked up the ranking of countries by number and percentage of millionaires. Yeah. Oh yeah, who's got the most millionaires? The United States has 25.5

millionaires. The next, the closest country after that. Who's 0.5? Who's half a millionaire? Because if you're half a millionaire, you're a thousandaire like us. They've got 25.5 millionaires. Oh. Million millionaires. Oh, okay. Wow. Isn't that insane? I thought there were just 25 people rocking around.

I was like, no. They have 39%. It was just like a set of legs, and you're like, oh my God, they've got a million dollars? The upper half is just not worth it, but the legs are expensive. They have 39% of the world's millionaires. Now, if you arrange it by percentage of millionaires by adult population, so per capita, we're number six on the list. New Zealand has 347,000 millionaires. Is that like...

Which is like 9.6% of our population are millionaires. So does that mean you've got a million or more in the bank or you just have like a property that you, you know, like your boomer parents got for $60,000 in the 70s and now it's worth $2 million. Yeah, that's a good call. I don't know.

Is that what that means? Yeah. Because surely it's not assets included. Because I get that assets included people would be well off. Yes. Wow, that's insane. So Switzerland's number one, 15%, 15.5% of their population, and you would Swiss round that.

Swedish rounding, isn't it? Swedish, yeah. I don't know what Swiss rounding is. It's hiding it and remaining neutral and living in the hills. 15%, 15.5% of their population are millionaires. Wow. Hong Kong, 15.3%. Singapore, 12.7%.

Australia, 11.2%. United States, 9.7%. And then New Zealand, 9.6%. Wow. Go us? Go us? Go us, but also not go us, it seems like. Who's holding out?

Because I've still got a lot of people to pay me back for dinner last night, and they haven't transferred yet. Oh, my God, this guy, as soon as they met up for drinks, he was nudging people. He was like, don't forget to transfer that. Was there more than 10 people there? Yes, 15. The statistic says one of them must be a millionaire. Oh. Okay.

Broad statistics. I mean, there was no millionaires at our dinner. We were literally dining as cheap as we could. That's why we were hanging out. We both just did say how crippling, particularly this month, our mortgages have been. Yeah. Next on the show, the top six.

What have you got for us today, Smithy? Chloe Swarbrick will announce today whether or not she will stand for Colette. Yeah, here we go. You're talking about Hayley's girl crush. Oh, did I just let out an audible sigh? You did, yeah. I wouldn't even say it. I like her.

It wasn't a sigh. It was like a crush whooper. I've got a crush, like a... A girly, giggly little crush on Chloe Swarbrick. So we're working on the top six Chloe Swarbrick slogans. Oh, nice. Because she may announce her run for the leadership. Yeah, the co-leadership of the Greens.

I'm excited. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello. You may hear a piano in the background. Hayley's just turned on a keyboard. I can play the top six.

Top six. Could you give me a, could you today do a live piano and do number five like that? And then I'll do. Do a what? So I'll be like, here's today's top six. And you go ding, ding, ding, number six. And then I'll jump in. Okay.

Also yesterday, you know that public piano outside the Christchurch airport? Yes. I said to Hayley, could we have a song on the piano for content? And she said, I will say no. What? She just straight up said no. But you know how to play the piano. Nothing annoys me more than turning up to the Christchurch airport and some like, I'm

so good, is playing the piano. It's way better than some kid just standing there being like bang, bang, bang. I love seeing people play piano in public. I love those videos. Maybe she's lost it. Give me an intro to the top six but don't say number six because I'm going to say what the top six is. I'm going to give you a big slide.

Okay, ready? I'm going to get the mic in there. Top six. Today's top six. Thank you, I like mic in there. Top six. Today's top six. Thank you. I like this. Today's top six is the top selects, Chloe Swarbrick campaign slogans,

because it will be, she's going to announce today. And I mean, who else is there in the greens? Like Chloe's. She's so great. Chloe was like their leader, but when she wasn't even their leader, kind of. If I was another politician, I would not want to be up against her.

She just absolutely slays everybody she debates against. Right. She's so smart. She's so lovely. She's very smart. And you've got a big crush. I love a smart, I love watching a smart, I love love reading smart. I love watching a smart, beautiful woman absolutely destroy old white men on the television.

Arrogant white men. Around. That's my kink too. Policies I agree with. And just beautiful eyelashes. The eyes. The eyes, yeah. And the policies and the brain.

Of course, yeah. And the hair and the eyebrows. Well, today's top six is the top six Chloe Swarbrick slogans. Top six! Number six. Say number six. Number six! Let's get

clowing. Oh, okay. Like going. Yep. Too close to cloaca. Yeah. Let's get cloaca. She's got my vote. Yeah. I going. He's too close to cloaca. Yeah, like let's get cloaca. She's got my vote. Yeah. I mean, that's a miracle hole. Yeah.

Number two. No, number five. Jesus. Number five. Number five. We're going to swore on inequality. Like swore brick. Swore brick. We're going to war. And war on inequality. Going to swore on inequality. Like Swarbrick. Swarbrick.

We're going to war. And war on inequality. We're going to Swarbrick on inequality. Okay. Yeah, we're doing the top six Chloe Swarbrick campaign slogans. Number four. Don't be a dick, vote for Swarbrick. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that works, eh? We like a rhyme. You could have been less offensive and said, give me a tick. Don't be a dick Vote for Swarbrick Oh that's good Yeah Yeah That works eh We like a rhyme You probably could have been Less offensive and said Give me a tick Vote for Swarbrick Ah yeah

Shoot He's got a career in this That was good Riding campaign slogans Yeah Yeah alright Ah Number three

I think we need a live Piano for the top six Every day now. I'm executive decision. We will buy one of these and put it in the studio. And plug it into the studio. It doesn't have a great screen because I'm just free-balling on what the next voice is. Oh, yeah, I like that one.

Oh, I've moved from it. Oh, okay. Number three, which I believe you just introduced. Did you? Yeah. Number three, vote green. Weed make things better. I get it. Weed. Yeah. Without the apostrophe. Yeah, she did. Number three, vote green. Weed make things better. I get it.

Weed. Yeah. Without the apostrophe. Yeah, no weed. And an extra E. Okay, yeah, I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number two.

On the top six Chloe Swarbrick campaign slogans, wheel brackets, shop, close brackets, lift the country out of poverty. Oh, Vought Smith. Wheel brackets shop close brackets lift the country out of poverty. Topical. Topical. Gotta be able to laugh at yourself. Self-deprecating. Is this our

last one? Yep. Self-deprecating is where you shit your pants. Number one. Number one. Number one on the top of sex Chloe Swarbrick campaign slogans. Mean green lesbo machine. Yes.

Says it all, baby. I love woke lesbo. That's what they called her. I know someone graffitied that she's lesbian, but I thought she was bisexual. I mean, I'm not here to... It's all good.

It's none of my goddamn business. Yeah, yeah. But I just don't want her to be misl all good. It's none of my goddamn business. Yeah, yeah. Concern. But I just don't want her to be mislabeled, you know? Great slogans there. And yeah, it looks like she may announce today. Yeah.

Good luck, girl. Get it. That's today's... Top Six. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, we have been informed that our lovely producer, Shanalette Pyjamas, is at the social media desk. Well, today she's at my desk.

Oh, yes. She's pushing the buttons in home base while we're broadcasting live from Christchurch. Shannon, do you feel mighty and powerful at Fletch's spot? Yeah, it's quite weird. Yeah. Spit on the mic. Oh, okay.

No, that felt aggressive. I didn't mean it like that. That was a bit much. Now, even though we are out of studio, in a way... Is she loud enough? She doesn't sound loud enough to me. But we, I don't know, maybe she's loud enough to the listener. Oh, okay. I'm not pushing the button.

I'm not in control. I don't like it. He doesn't like it. I don't like it. Well, I was told to lips the mic. Okay, I'm lipsing the mic. Oh, that's better. That's better. I think it was her. A little bit better. I think it was her. I was a bit nervous of his mic, maybe. Yeah, yeah. Flick screams into her. I think it was her. I don't know what to say. Yeah, yeah. Flitch screams into that microphone.

Yeah, he literally goes, oh. Now, Shannon, even though we're in different cities this morning, we've still sort of followed you somehow in your dreams. Yeah, I had a nightmare yesterday about you, Hayley. Oh, about me? Oh, okay. So nightmare or dream? We learnt earlier in the week what the origins of nightmare and fact of the day. Didn't we?

Yeah, we did. A mare is a female goblin that would... Goblin? Sit on your chest and try to wrap you up with her hair. I don't have enough hair for that. Hayley was my little goblin yesterday. So what happened? I had a nightmare that I was pressing buttons

right here, felt very realistic and I didn't turn Hayley's mic on, and she got me fired. That is something Sprout would do. That is, wow. I turned on the boys' mics, and then you just hear, like, atmospherically Hayley being like, I'm here, I'm here. And then she gets her phone mid-break and calls Ross and she's like, Shannon's done.

I got fired on air. Should we try this live? What? Sorry, what, Hayley? I'm here. Are you hearing anything, Vaughn? Get Shannon to put my mic on. Get Shannon to put my mic on.

This is bullshit. Call Ross, call Ross. Good morning, Ross. Hi, it's Hayley. Well, this is the acting degree. This is bullshit. Call Ross. Call Ross. Good morning, Ross. Hi. It's Hayley. Yeah. Well, this is the acting degree. This is the acting degree.

This is the acting degree. Shannon Trim. She's gone. She's done. Get her out of here or I will walk. And we've just got new billboards coming and that's going to cost you a lot of money. So get rid of it. It was terrifying.

Great acting. That was great acting. You're making it too real. Wait, I thought when you said a nightmare, I thought like there were going to be like, I don't know, like monsters. Yeah. That's not a nightmare.

Losing my job. It sounds like sweet release. Yeah, I feel like losing your job's a bit of a nightmare in this day and age for sure. Shannon, rest assured I would never do that. I'd make some joke about you not being a feminist and silencing women and then would move on from it. I would note it with Ross in a meeting,

but I would not insist you were fired. It would be up to him what he did with the information of your shortfall. Okay, thank you, thank you. Good luck. I think you're doing good button pushing. A little quiet, but that's okay. A little quiet, but we've given some feedback and we've improved, haven't we? And I've texted Ross to say she's doing well with the buttons,

not so much with the level of volume. Yeah. And we'll just see what he does with that. Perfect. Thank you. Don't think you say that to an anxious Gen Z. No, you're right, Harlan. You're my favourite. No jokes, it's Colin. No jokes, it's Sharon. No, it's Fletch.

I love all of you alike. Nah, Vaughn. I don't need to be anybody's favourite He doesn't need this for me I don't thrive off it Shannon your job is safe, you're doing a great job Thank you For now

I've text rocked I've text rocked Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, do you take your shoes off in the cinema or el teatre? The movies.

The movies. Good. Do you take your shoes off? Español. Really good. I went to the movies in, what's the great one that everyone loves? New Lynn in Auckland. Right.

And it was Gold Lounge, which I didn't realise. New Lynn Reading. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always known as one of the cheapest ones. Yeah. Do they still do 10 buckies? Yes, not in Gold Lounge, which I didn't realise. Newly reading. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always known as one of the cheapest ones. Do they still do 10 buckies? Yes, not in Gold Lounge. We went Gold Lounge, me and my dad, to watch Jason Momoa on the big screen. Right.

And they've got those chairs, the feet come up. And my Birkenstocks sort of slipped off. And I was like, well, I guess that's it. So I was barefoot. Because this started, right, somebody from overseas posted on Reddit. Yes, in New Zealand. They're from Scotland, I was barefoot. Because this started right. Somebody, was it somebody from overseas posted on Reddit? Yes, in New Zealand. They're in New Zealand. They're from Scotland, I think.

Yeah. And they said, is this normal here? And it was someone in the movies with their shoes off. Which I reckon they were just wearing sandals, Birks or Jandals.

And they just slipped off there. Yeah, totally, because it was summer. I don't mind. The only thing that starts me getting barefoot in the cinema all the time is sometimes it gets a little cold on the toots.

Yeah. No, for me, it's a manky carpet. You know, like if it's... Oh, no, you've got to walk in with shoes and then you'd either like tuck your feet up or something. And if there's no one in front of you, put the feet on the ceiling. Or in between. Get the dogs between you. Oh, yeah, wedge in between the seats in front.

Send the dogs down the valley. Yeah. Although some cinemas, even just your normal cinema tickets now are getting like quite roomy and comfortable. Yeah, I know. They're really good. They're trying to make it

a more luxury experience. Your other option was pirating the movie and watching it on your couch, which is famously comfortable. Very comfortable. A great spot to watch a movie. Yeah.

So do you take your shoes off in the cinema? 70% of people said no way. Yeah. What country are you in? Are we still in my beloved Aotearoa? I don't know. 24% said yes, but I'll keep my socks on and 6% said yes,

barefoot baby. So winter, would you do that? Would you go shoes off and just leave your socks? I wear boots. I don't wear shoes, so I wear boots, but I will take them off because you're always way more comfortable. I'll loosen the laces up and slip them off and then just go sock. I feel like it's all good just as long as you don't have a stinky face.

Yeah, but you're in the minority here. I know. Okay, well, some feedback. No, I'm not a dickhead from Ali. That's a bit rough. It's a bit early for that language, Ali. Yeah. Sam said, how is this even a question?

I know Hayley insists on shoes off even if her floor will kill someone one day. What? It's an inheritance scam. What? Do you know Sam? Has he slipped on your... You're talking about your... You talked about your slippery floor.

Slippery floor. Oh, yes. You've got a slippery floor at your house because you polished your floor. But Sam said, don't take your shoes off. That's grim. Yeah, I get it. In the movie cinema, it's grim.

Who came to my house the other day and they started taking their shoes off at the door and they didn't even ask. And I turned around and they said, I'm just taking my shoes off. And I said, I appreciate that. What do I know? Because you know the people that are like, are shoes okay? No. But they're already like in the doorway in their shoes.

No, because now you're going to make me the bad guy by saying, not really. Shoes off. Always set your shoes off. Only if I'm wearing sandals, says Hannah. But I also bring a blanket when I go to the cinema. What? I'd fall asleep. Shoes off. Always set your shoes off. Only if I'm wearing sandals, says Hannah, but I also bring a blanket when I go to the cinema. What? I'd fall asleep. Oh, my God.

Delish. That's next level. That's good stuff. Also, I don't attend the cinemas often because I have the capability to sit still for long periods like a toddler. Oh, right. Oh, okay. She's a fidgety one.

Liam said, Jandals are the only exception. Yeah. So, Rhiannon, shoes off and feet up as I always go for a luxe recliner. Yeah. Must be nice. Must be nice.

Must be nice. But you're right. You slip them off once your feet, you know, once they're at an even keel. Yeah. Only because it's more comfortable to sit cross-legged without shoes on. Yes. At the cinema. I sit cross-legged.

I always have to have one leg up. I can't have both legs down. Never feet on the floor, though. That's yucky, said Donna. Rose, cinemas are always freezing, so I bring cosy socks with me to put on as soon as the lights go out. She's bringing cosy socks.

Oh, what's it? What's it, Chops? It's bringing a blanket. I love this. I worked at Hoyts, and it's health and safety policy that all patrons must wear shoes. I have literally declined people for wearing bare feet.

That's not an aeroplane. That's not a construction site. If you calm down, what are we going to stand on, a plank of nails? I wouldn't go in barefoot. No, neither. No, no, no, no, no. But I would become barefoot. Also, if they're going, it's a health and safety issue for you to be barefoot in here.

I'm going to question how well they're cleaning that floor. That's sort of on you, Michelle. And drying it. Yeah. Amber said, depends on the shoes. Crocs with socks. Yes. Normal shoes, no.

Crocs with socks at the movies. Brave. Ooh, it's still a public place and people drop food and drink and whatever else all over that floor, so I don't want to be barefoot in there, says Tiana. Remember when I was barefoot at the wedding we went to last weekend and I kept using the public toilet, the little like port-a-loo with my bare feet. Grim.

And I was like, ew, ew, ew. That was grim. That was grim for me. Or you're starting some kind of new bacteria that could save the planet. Yeah, my feet are slowly rotting away. I was so jealous at that wedding last weekend when all the ladies took their shoes off and were dancing like on the grass. Yeah.

And it was sort of wet and dew always. You can't really do that as a man in a suit, can you? No. No. It's so perfect. Hard to get the boots back on. And it was sort of wet and you always loved it. You can't really do that as a man in a suit, can you? No. Hard to get the boots back on. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. There was a pizza hut in Northern Ontario in Canada that had to close their restaurant. Okay. Now, you see this every now and then, you know, restaurant closed for a family thing

or restaurant closed due to unforeseen circumstances. However, whoever was given the responsibility of making a sign for this Pizza Hut wrote, Due to unforeseen circumcisions, the dining room will be closed this evening. Yes. I mean, you don't know if that's a misunderstanding. It would 100% have been they were typing up the sign. Cirque. They tried their best to type circumstances.

They spelled it wrong. And then the drop-down option was circumcisions. And it looks right enough. Must be it. Yeah. Click. Print. Put in the window.

And now it's gone viral. Or this is indeed an unforeseen circumcision. They've had an accident with their foreskin. With a knife. And as a result, they've had an unforeseen circumcision. They've had an accident with their foreskin. With a knife. And as a result, they've had to unforeseen. With that big blade thing they use to cut the pizzas. They roll it through the pizzas. On the bench, just got the tip of the...

Yeah. I mean, that is an unforeseen circumcision. That would be, yeah. That's what you would call that. Get a doctor to fix that up. Anyway, you see these signs every now and then. What was the one I saw? It was at our local tavern, and I think it was the Eagles cover band.

Oh, yeah. It had eggless. Oh, right. Eggless. What about when someone passes away and someone's like, farewell, my sweet angle, and like a Facebook post? Fly um, farewell, my sweet angle. Fly, fly free to heaven.

My beautiful angle with the angles now. 91. Oh, the good one. And a cute and obtuse. Oh yeah. Beautiful. All of the angles. It's auto product that screws a lot of people too.

For sure. And then you've got like the smart stuff. We get it in our, I don't get it on Gmail, but in our work emails, you start a word and it's like, do you mean this word? Do you mean this word?

Do you mean this word? And you're like, stop finishing my sentences. Man, I can assume it's a man outlook. It's a man. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Anyway, look,

we've all seen them before and I think we should share some stories of when you made an embarrassing typo. And was it a costly one? Like was it for a banner? Like, was it for a banner? Or, like, was it printed a thousand times? Or a T-shirt? Like, do you remember when they,

was it Adidas in the World Cup? And they called Colombia the country. Colombia the state. The state, which is with a U. Not two O's. Not Colombia. And now when you go to Columbia, they just have all this merchandise in like gift shops.

It's Columbia, not Columbia. Yeah, yeah, great. And so they've kind of made a thing about it. Yeah, good from them. It's quite funny. Good from them. But that was one typo. You can remember Columbia because the two O's look like two nostrils.

And you might be putting something up there if you go to Columbia. Born. Born. That is very offensive for the lovely people of Columbia. You know what? People who heard that will never forget that Columbia, the country, is two O's. C-O-L-O. And it's two nostrils with a line in the middle.

Just let you know. What about two lovely sons? What about a C and B? Two O's with an L in the middle. That's a C and B. Trust me, people will remember it because of the cocaine sniffing. It's a little on the nose. It's a little up the nose.

It's a little on the nose. Now, we want to take your calls. When have you made an unfortunate typo? Was it in an email to someone very important? Was it a job email? Yeah. Was it a newsletter or something that was printed? Did it completely, did you send an email about

your condolences and a really sad occasion and you made a terrible typo? Yeah, my colon denses. My colon denses at the loss. In your time of need, yeah, in your time of loss. Right now we're talking about your typos,

your embarrassing typos you made, because there was a pizza hut in Ontario. Ontario? Terry? Ontario. Ontario, Ontario. Yeah, something like that. That's basic.

That said, due to unforeseen circumcisions, the dining room will be closed today. Instead of circumstances. Well, we think that that's not what they meant. So we've asked you, what was your embarrassing typo? And we've got a lot. I love this.

A colleague when I worked in India wrote, we apologise for any incontinence caused. Not inconvenience. When I was in India, I remember I wanted a Coke with ice. And on the sign you had to order C-O-C-K with glass, was how they advertised a Coke with ice. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Wild misspelling there. Wild. Now, we've got Stan on line three. Stan, what was your unfortunate typo? Yeah, it was pretty embarrassing. Well, back in the days, I was in charge of writing the bar menus

at a certain restaurant, and so instead of putting deep-fried samosas, I accidentally spelled deep-fried Samoans. Yeah. How tasty is a deep-fried Samoan? Oh, you're delicious. So it actually got it printed and then ended up in the Herald at Funny Parts.

I don't know. You got sideswiped. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I mean, great publicity for the restaurant, isn't it? I mean, I'll never say no to a salmon, I'll tell you what. I won't say no to many things deep fried either. Amazing.

I'm sorry to all my salmon meats, but sorry. Oh, that's so good. Don't you need a big deep fryer? Stan, thank you. Some more messages in. My mum's friends, a married couple, both work in employment law. A wife sent an official and important email to a client, but she forgot, and she made his name automatically corrected to Batman.

So I said, Dear Batman. Dear Batman. Brilliant. I don't know what their name could have been that auto-correct corrected to Batman. So I said, Dear Batman. Dear Batman. Brilliant. I don't know what their name could have been that auto-corrected to Batman. Yeah. I called my company Horny Hire instead of Happy Hire when I was writing an email. I mean, that could be a whole new business venture. Yeah.

Horny Hire. Horny Hire. Now we're talking. Somebody said, accountants. Hearing from lots of accountants. Now they say when you quickly type the word account sometimes it goes A, C, O, then back to the C

but the O's missing from after the C. Oh. Okay. Couldn't get worse. Yeah. Someone said, oh my god, I thought it was the only one but I wrote sorry for the inconvenience and I believe it auto-corrected to sorry for the incontinence. Well, I'm sorry for the incontinence, though.

Our work Christmas party email went out to over 100 people advertising that we would have a stimulator during the Christmas party. I, of course, meant a simulator. But many people replied saying, what does it stimulate? I had lots of questions. I was emailing a potential new employee. Her name was Bobby. And I addressed the email, Kia ora, boobies. Don't know where the S came from.

Wow. That's good. Because if you only say Kia ora to one boobie, the other boobie will feel left out. Oh, you can't pick between the two. Straight into HR and you haven't even started the job. Yeah. Sent a report to many people at the company

and the subject heading was thinning counts, but I missed the O in counts. That sucks, doesn't it, actually? We're actually a bunch of thinning counts. Yes. Well, I'd love to, actually, after the summer weight gain, be one of those. Okay, so on my auto-signature before I literally turned the ability of those yeah okay so on my auto signature

before I literally turned the ability to check my email off on my phone and went on a holiday I wanted to end it with regards yep

Angela okay there was a mistake now somehow the G in regards got swapped out for a T and then what

you went away for like two weeks yeah it was uncontactable oh no I look forward to seeing you soon. Yeah. My little sister spelled February, February on her wedding invitations. Oh, wait.

Okay, wow. I mean, people know what month it is, right? If it's got a number in front of it and then it's that word, we'll be able to work it out. I love the person that tried to email my analysis homework from my school email address to my home email address. So I shortened the subject title to anal. And the email got flagged to the head of IT. Yep, that'll happen. I messaged the whole work group chat saying,

Colin will be taking the staff meeting. Oh, Colin. Instead of Colin. He wasn't happy. He thought I was being meeting. Oh, Colin. Instead of Colin. He wasn't happy. He thought I was being mean. Oh. Oh. I had to be careful when I message all good.

It often corrects to ask God. So my friends will ask me a question or put a statement to me. Like, you know, dinner tonight at five. Ask God. And people will say, ask him what? Ask God. Print invoicing a customer for screen printing bumper stickers. Somehow changed to bummer stickers. ask God and people will say ask him what ask God print invoicing a customer for

screen printing bumper stickers somehow changed to bummer stickers aww that's a great message just run a check before you hit send

yeah if we've learnt anything today probably play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley we were travelling

as a family in the car we weren't like we weren't doing like singing or anything that made it sound like we were travelling as a family in the car. We weren't doing singing or anything. That made it sound like we were travelling for a band. Yeah, it did. It really did. Yeah, the kids are up front.

I play the tuba. It's a very weird, small four-piece. Odd guy for the tuba. Yeah, odd. Provides a great bass line, though. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, it's a great instrument. So we were in the car.

Shardé was going into the shop to get some takeaways. And I said to the girls, oh, look, the car next to us has got a Stanley Cup. Because I'm a cool dad and I know what they're interested in. You know what's hot and fly in the moment. I know what the kids are into, you see. I would love to see some kind of graph or sales chart of Stanley Cups and how much money they've made in the last few months alone. Because none of us have, I've got a

Stanley Flask, but I've had that for like five years. I'm a bit ahead of my time. I want to know who did it. Yes, like what's the, how did global trends start? Crocs are kind of like Bieber. Justin Bieber was like, I like these. And everyone's like, I'm not ashamed of it anymore. If he's cool with him.

Was it one influencer that just had one? Who kicked it off? Especially the big ones with the handles and the straws. They're so embarrassing. I checked into my hotel yesterday in Christchurch and I saw one behind the counter and I was like, how unprofessional. Really?

It was like this nice foyer of a hotel, like the desk is all desk-y and then they're there and then just big pink Stanley cup. No, but they're cool. It's unprofessional. Are you just jealous because you've got a manky five-year-old Stanley? It's not a drink bottle because if you knock it over, it'll

bulge out. Yeah, right. It's not. Well, they're all the rage. It's hot pink. This one in the carbicide, this is hot pink. It's in a big ute. It's in the cup holder. Must have a big cup holder because there's a sizable ass on them. They'll be using drainage piping. So it's sitting in there and the girls immediately are like,

hmm, I think it's a dupe. Oh no. Set on it. Like having this big debate. Our windows are down. They're having this big debate about this dupe hot pink Stanley cup having this big debate about this dupe, hot pink Stanley car. Where do you get a dupe? Stanley.

Because August got a dupe. Oh, right. Okay. August got a dupe too. So it's not our Stanley. It looks like one. Well, I don't know because the way it's facing, the logo would have been facing away from us. Oh, right.

I didn't know that, but I learned that because that was what Indy was like. We don't know it's a dupe because the logo's on the other side. And August was like, no, it's a dupe because of this, this, this, this, this, and this. And Indy's like, okay, I agree with you on this point and this point. And like, da-da-da-da, but I don't think we can see enough of it. Oh, my God. Yeah, look, Kmart. 1.18 litre white jumbo tumbler with handle.

Now, that sounds like. How much are they? Kmart. Not much. I think she used some Christmas money to get it. $19 compared to like $90. Look at that. That's exactly the same.

Is that it? Yeah. That's exactly the same. And it would be made in the same like country or factory, right? 100%. It might not have

as good a seal or something like that. And she's just covered it in stickers. Right, so you can't tell. Yeah. Well, you probably could by the points

that they were pulling out of their thin air of the difference between this dupe and a real car. Do you want to hear a review from the Kmart New Zealand website on this? Okay. Love it.

I use it. Perfect. I love a short review. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Love it. Yeah, perfect. Great item.

So they're pulling this thing two bits. Shada gets back in the car and the final sentence is, she's like, what are you guys talking about? And loud, we have decided that that Stanley lookalike cup and that cup holder is nothing but a dupe, a fake. Like they were a jury. Like in court. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

And so we back out and drive around, and the woman that owned the cup was standing on the other side of the truck. And had been listening to an 11 year old and a 9 year old destroyed. How embarrassing. Were they embarrassed? They were just like, they looked, the girl my girls were like, oh my god, did

she hear us? She heard everything. And she just looked sad. Don't be embarrassed about your joke. Because I read something online some kid, some mum was like I'm not spending $90 on this dumb thing when there's a $20 option and bought her a fake and the kid got bullied at school about it.

Oh, okay. Like, yeah, we've got bigger problems in the world right now. Like, look around. So the girls did feel bad that the person who owned the cup had heard them absolutely dissecting her but also you could see in her eyes that hit every point. Yep. And I was kind of like, detectives, they're the next generation

of nosy parker detectives. Very proud. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You must excuse me, I'm rather giddy and somewhat starstruck, and I've bloody sat on Jason Momoa's knee. It's hard to rattle me. Not many people can say that.

We're joined in studio by relationship expert John Aitken from Maths. We have to ding the bell every time we say Maths. It's the Maths bell. Love it. It's great to be here. I'm so excited about this upcoming season. Season 11, if you can believe it. I can

because I've seen them all. This is going to start for us here in New Zealand on Monday on 3 now and 3. Yes. But in Australia it started, so spoiler alerts. Yeah. Well, what I can tell you is we have a diverse cast. We've got a same-sex couple.

We have our oldest ever participant, Richard, at age 62. Oh, wow. He comes into the experiment, which is unusual for me because I'm usually calling out the bad behaviour of people that are half my age Yeah in their 20s

Whereas now he's older than me so I'm like okay this is kind of a weird vibe I mean I'm looking Richard in the eyes not hard on the eyes

He's a dapper gent He is dapper Oh you're a dapper gent Isn't he? Look at that Yeah Because I always look at the brides and grooms

beforehand Yes Now spoiler alert we have some man buns in the mix What? Look at that. Look at that. Because I always look at the brides and grooms beforehand. Yes. Now, spoiler alert, we have some man buns in the mix. What? It is 2024. No. I thought the man bun was gone.

No, no, just your mouth. I'm going to double down and say there's also some very tight pants. Yes. Rolled up with no socks on. Oh, fuck. Don't you swear on ear. No socks. No, it's a thing. I'm seeing a man bun

in the photo and I'm not mad. That's a good man bun. I'm not mad about it. Because what I like to do is always before the season starts, I always look at the, you know,

the first drop of brides and grooms and I put it together and then you've always got a little bit older. So I imagine they'll go together. Then in your head you

go, there's two more men than there are women. So we've got a gay together. Then in your head you go, there's two more men than there are women. So we've got a gay relationship. Yes, we do. Then you go cast your eye through a gay lens, try to figure out which one's gay. And then you sort of go through and match them up. We've got a super fan over here.

She could be on your panel. Fourth expert. Yeah. Right here. Honestly, I just think I've watched it for so many years and it started as a bit of an addiction and sort of like a voyeuristic thing we like to see them crash and burn and I feel like in the last few years for me it's changed so much and I think it comes down to you guys the experts in the

way that you coach them through these wild marriages yes yes I mean we see uh why they're bad at relationships very quickly. You don't have to watch it for 10 minutes to know, I know why you're single. And then it becomes, okay, we've matched you. Are you going to pivot and actually learn during this experiment and do better? Yeah. Some of them take it on, but a lot of them just come straight back at me. I know. And that's quite compelling to watch because usually on reality shows, the experts aren't challenged. No.

But in this situation, they come at you hard. Yeah, they do. But I feel really in the last couple of years, I feel like I'm giving a serious interview because I'm so invested in this. But I do feel particularly you that you, in the last couple of years, you haven't taken shit. You've actually given it back and been like,

that's poor behaviour. That's right. I'm going to call this out for what I see. I'm not just going to produce through my ear, oh, pull back. You're giving it to them as good as you're getting it. That's right. That's right because when you watch maths,

you learn what not to do when it comes to relationships. Yeah, true. And I'm really now a voice of the audience. So I know that you're sitting at home saying, you know what? You can't treat someone like that. You can't cheat like that and get away with it or gaslight. Yeah. And I'm going to call them out for that.

Gaslighting, toxic behaviour, like those words we know now when we know how to spot them. We read about it all the time. So if you sat there being like, well, good luck on your marriage and didn't call it out, we'd lose trust in you. That's right. And that's one of the evolutions of the show is my role in terms of being the angry guy on the couch that holds them accountable. You've got a great look. He sits back and

you cross your legs and you cross your arms and you just stare at them and you can say, oh, John's brewing. He's brewing on something. He's brewing a little pot. He's calculating. Well, because what I've learnt through this is that less is more. So when I come out of the blocks, I go as hard as I can to stop them in their tracks. But I'm not going to say a lot to them.

I just want it to land in a way where they go away from the commitment ceremony thinking, oh, maybe I should do this differently. Yeah. And the harder I go, the more likely they're going to listen to me. When it's televised, do you watch it with your wife? I do. And is she ever like, interesting if someone took their own advice there?

Well, you watch the Kiwi, right? Yeah, yeah. You got married at the same place as Vaughan. Mudbrack. Mudbrack. Oh, you love it. Yeah. She's from the Tron. Is she? Home of the Chiefs. She loves the Chiefs. as Vaughan. Mudbrack. Mudbrack. Oh, you love it. Yeah. She's from the Tron.

Is she? Home of the Chiefs. She loves the Chiefs. Like Vaughan. And your wife and my wife sound very similar. Maybe I could get some advice. Yeah. On how to deal with this.

She gets the girlfriends over. They watch it with champagne. They yell at the screen. They have a go at me for my matches. What are you thinking, John? What were you thinking? But that's one of the secret sources of the show is that you're watching it. We don't know how it's going to unfold.

So all of those matches that we put together, we think, we're hoping they get the fairy tale. But then you actually see the true selves come out and you're sort of shocked by what they choose to do. And this year's no exception. A lot of poor choices. Yeah. Does it tickle you when you see the success? Like, do you have a favourite couple from across the years? I mean, like Cam and...

Yeah, look, Cam and Jules are together. Cam and Jules have got babies and stuff. Yeah, Michael and Martha. I remember Michael and Martha meeting them in Series 6, which was our huge season that took us overseas. And, yeah, they were a glam couple. I thought it was such a weird match. I was like, he's not keeping up with her.

And then they had a baby. They had a baby. Wow. I think we've got five couples that are still together. And we need that because, obviously, it's got to work. So reading about this year, because, obviously, it's on in Australia, but we haven't got it yet. A lot of people are saying, like, it's drama already. It's, like obviously it's on in Australia, but we haven't got it yet. A lot of people are saying like it's drama already.

It's like quite full on. Well, what I can tell you is that first episode you're going to see on Monday, worst best man speech ever. Oh no. I've seen a couple of shockers in real life. So, I mean, it's even just I can't even begin to tell you how uncomfortable I felt when I watched it for the first time. Yeah. And, you know, one of the things I don't realise when we do maths is that we get to know the

couples very well, but we don't know the family and friends. Of course. Yeah. So, it's like an icing on the cake, another layer. And then you shove them in a room with cameras and watch your children get married in. And this guy stands up, he's got a fresh fade, a mullet. Of course he does. Brody took off his Pit Viper sunglasses.

God, we love Australia. And honestly, it starts badly and then it just gets worse from there. I'm excited. I'm so excited. Has there ever been anything where you say to the producers, like, I just don't think we should televise that. Like, that needs to be dealt with off screen. That's above my pay grade.

Right. I mean, I don't have anything to do with the edit. Right. And so, you know, when I'm talking to them, I'm literally watching it like you guys. You're just working, yeah. To see what it is that makes the cut and what doesn't. Yeah.

Well, John, I literally am so fizzing for this. Yep. Monday, it is on our screens. Married at First Sight are three now and three. Yeah. John, thank you so much. It has been a pleasure, and I can't wait to see you again to talk about this. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey.

Play ZM. And we say could be the last ever long weekend group tour. Now, people have asked why. Yeah. And it is because phone technology is getting so damn good that when you're on a call now, the technology of your phone blocks out background noise. It's a lot like microphones that we use. It's got a gate. There's a setting, but it's a lot to explain.

Yeah. And even, to be honest, I've remained quiet on it being the last one because I love the Long Weekend Group Tour, even if it doesn't work. I just think even if it doesn't work, we failed together, you know? Yeah. And failing together is worse than failing alone. Wow. Motivational there.

Put it on my headstone. Now, so today for the Long Weekend Group 2, we're broadcasting in Christchurch today because we've got a wedding later. So, Hayley, you're out in the Black Thunder. You're going to be somewhere in Christchurch. We've got some messages in. Because you're on Morehouse at the moment, aren't you? We're on Morehouse.

We're just by the supermarket. There's like five supermarkets, but okay. Yeah. We're on Morehouse. Yeah. But open to five supermarkets, but okay. Yeah. Yeah, we're on Morehouse. Yeah. But open to suggestions of where we should go. We're actually at a light right now. I mean, we could give it a go, kick it off early.

No, wait, no. Where are we going? Oh, you're going. See how hard it is? Because you'll often scoff, won't you, when listeners say, I'm almost at the lights and, oh, it's going, and there was traffic a couple of minutes ago, and yeah, it's tough. There's quite a lot to it. Okay, now. oh, it's going, and there was traffic a couple of minutes ago, and, yeah, it's tough. There's quite a lot to it.

Okay, now... Yeah, it's a lot. And I know the Black Thunders, the Jeeps have a big, booty-like horn in the middle. Do they? Well, producer Jared's already struggling with the car. One, the wheel's quite big for him, so he looks quite comical driving it.

And two, it's a European car, so he keeps putting the wind wipers on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, that's a classic. We need to agree. And there needsers on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, that's a classic. We need to agree. And there needs to be USB-C reading. Oh, he just slammed the brakes on.

He just slammed the brakes. It was an orange light, Jared. He slammed the brakes. He's just not used to driving a big car, is he? No, he's not. For those that are new to the Long Weekend Group Tute or need a refresher, how it works is, after the news, we get you to call from traffic wherever you are in the country

and you give us the start of the long weekend group toot. It goes like this. And then we need you in a car, if you hear that anywhere in New Zealand, to finish off with two toots. That's the easy part. Yeah, so ideally it should go Now. Will it work? Yeah, so ideally it should go...

Now, will it work? Will it? Won't it? Do you want to test my horn? Okay, yeah, test the jeep's horn. Let's test the horn. Okay, ready? Here we go.

We're going to test the horn. We'll do the long-leaking group to just give it a test. Okay. Here we go. Oh, we got one. See, we didn't hear that. We didn't hear that. We didn't hear that. We couldn't hear it at all.

I know, but it was literally miles away. Yeah, that's the other thing. Okay, well, it's working. It's working. So that's a good start. Let's do it. Let's do it. I'm horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Horning. Hor. Well, it is our long weekend group toot, and it is back.

It's all thanks to Foursquare. Whether it's a summertime feast or snacks for the batch, Foursquare have you covered. Now, we're doing the long weekend group to group today because the Waitangi Day isn't until Tuesday but a lot of people are taking the Monday off and capitalising on that four-day weekend and that's smart from you. Good use of annual leave. Do that. We're doing that. So don't expect us here on

Monday or Tuesday. Absolutely not. I won't be there. Now, we are today broadcasting from our crush chit-chitos. Hayley, you are in traffic. Whereabouts are you? We've gone back around. We're back on Morehouse, just passing McCafe. Shout out. Show sponsor.

Yeah. We're passing quite a lot of sets of lights, and I reckon soon we'll... Oh, someone just did it for us. Oh, that's good. It's immense. That's good. They're out and about in the Black Thunder here at the Garden City Crush. They're out and about.

It's already 60 degrees, heading for a high of 24 today, so a raid later expected of the thing. They're out and about in the Black Thunder Hill or the Garden City Christchurch. Out and about. It's already 60 degrees, heading for a high of 24 today. So a raid later expected of the day. But what a beautiful place to be. Now, we're not just doing this in Christchurch. You may be in Christchurch traffic. But wherever you are in New Zealand right now, we need you to give us a call for the long weekend group two. 0800 dials it in. Wherever you are in traffic, we want to try this.

We are thinking it could be the last one. You don't even have to get through to us to do it. It's just a sort of a vibe, dude. Yeah, we're bringing people together. Now, do you want to kick off the long weekend group, Hayley? No pressure. I would absolutely love for us to kick it off. Now, we're coming up to some pretty epic traffic

just past the Harvey Norman on Morehouse. So I reckon this light that we're pulling up to is just about to go red. Okay, remember, lights down, and if you're at a standstill, phone out the window and a beautifully timed toot when you're ready. Yeah, okay, we're not at a standstill. Oh, my God. Okay, let's just see what it's like. See what it's like?

See what it's like? You're always... Actually really stressful. Actually, we could... Yeah, let's hop in this turn lane, because I reckon that's in a red light. Okay, because JP's already a nervous driver, so we're throwing this last-minute change of directions at him. Okay, are you ready?

Yes. Here we go, Christchurch. Now, someone hooted over us. They finished before we even started. Oh, no, do it again. Also, terrible horn on the Black Thunder. Terrible horn. Did you hear that?

No. No, we heard nothing. We had like three little toots from quite far away. People are tooting. See, this is the problem, and this is why if you've heard us saying this, could be the last long weekend group toot, because the phones are getting too good. It's frustrating for us.

It is. Let's kick off. Let's go to some callers. You keep going out there, Hayley. We'll keep tooting. We'll keep tooting. All right, we'll come back to you soon. We're going to go to John now, who I believe is in Wellington.

We're about to you, John. Oh, hi. I'm just by the basin. The basin. Beautiful. New Zealand's biggest roundabout. Southern Hemisphere's biggest roundabout? It could be. All'm just by the basin. The basin. Beautiful. New Zealand's biggest roundabout. Southern Hemisphere's biggest roundabout? It could be.

All right, check that out then. Hashtag don't cancel the toot. Don't cancel the toot. I know you're a fan. I'm well pro toot around here, John, but as you've just heard with Hayley, she heard them toot back and we didn't hear it. All right, when you're ready, John, give us a long weekend group toot. All right, I'm about to stop in about five seconds.

Okay. How are you, John? Are to stop in about five seconds. Okay. How are you, John? Are you good? I think he's well. He's all good. Here we go. Here we go. Okay.

Good toot. Was that nothing, John? Nothing. Let me do it one more time. Go again. That was a good toot. Oh, that was deep. You finished yourself off there, John.

John, you got excited when you finished yourself off. If you throw it out and you don't get any bites, often you will finish yourself off. Yeah, and no one can blame you for that, John. You're a test roster and fuel beast. Okay, go again, John. One last try. All right.

Hang on. We've got stopped. Okay, yeah, no, that's try. All right. Hang on. We've got stopped. Okay, yeah, no, that's good. You want to be stopped. Yep. All right, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go. Yes! I heard that! I heard that! John's on the board. There we go. We heard that one, John.

We heard that one. Thank you for participating. He was a great graduate. Yeah, that was brilliant. A bicycle did it. A bicycle? A bicycle. A bicycle did it. With a horn or a ding-ding? Oh, when you hear the ding-ding, we heard the beep-beep.

We heard the beep-beep, not the ding-ding. That was amazing. Thank you, John. Let's go to Jaden. Now, I believe, Jaden, whereabouts are you in Christchurch? I am on Aldwyn's Road by the Roadworks of Doom. So there's lots of traffic. Roadworks of doom.

Okay, all right, when you're ready. You're describing all roadworks, but carry on. I'll try not to finish myself off like John. Okay. That'd be great. You don't want that embarrassment. All right. Let's go, Christchurch.

I'll just put on. Yeah, let's go. Oh, see, this is the problem. We didn't hear your toot there. Jaden, we didn't hear your toot there, Jaden. We didn't hear your toot. This shwish isn't loud enough. And someone said it's good off too.

We didn't even hear your toot, though. Your phone cut it all out. This is the ongoing issue with the Long Weekend Group. Yeah, this is why. One more time. I'll leave it in the car this time. I held it out the window to try and get the return toot. Okay. You're a good man.

Yeah, see, look at that. This is the problem with how good phones are. Jaden, thank you for trying. We're going to go now to Bindi, I believe. Irwin? Bindi Irwin in Tauranga. Good morning. Bindi Irwin, I love her. Oh, she's so cool, but

I'm not quite that big a Bindi. You're just a medium Bindi. I'm just a medium Bindi, yeah. Okay, all right, but it's a lovely name. Whereabouts in Tauranga are you? What's it short for? Bindiwin. It's actually short for Belinda.

But that's when I'm in Tauranga. All Bindis are all Bindis Belindas? Or did they start out that way? That's the origin of the name, obviously. I've actually met two other Belindas that are Bindis Belindas? Or did they start out that way? That's the origin of the name, obviously. I've actually met two other Belindas that are Bindis, and I don't know where I come from. I don't think you can call yourself Bindi if you're Belinda. That's not short.

You're either a Belle or a Linda. Is that cultural appropriation? Yeah, maybe. I've never been a Belle, actually. I don't know. I've just always been a Bindi. Yeah, dude, you've got Bindi energy. Okay, well, aside from that, whereabouts are you in Tauranga, Bindi

Anna? I'm in Tauranga near the Tauranga pack and save. Alright, when you're ready, give it a camera mode. Okay, give us a long weekend group toot. So far, it's been a mixed bag. Okay, are you ready? Yeah, we're ready.

We're ready. Oh, that was a good tone. Go again. You got everything. Go again. Please, please. No! I heard a bird.

I heard a bird cheep back. And that's a bird horn, basically, the cheep. Does that count, though? Do you know there's a family of four bikers next to me waiting for the pedestrian crossing, and they tooted, like, an imaginary horn. I'm telling you, no lie. Oh, it's the imaginary horns.

Yeah, but that's imaginary. Are we counting imaginary horns? No, I don't think we count those. Not counting imaginary horns. It's audio medium here, Bindi. I want you to have the best weekend on record. You were fantastic, Bindi. That's not on you. Thank you so much.

You're like a human rainbow. In fact, you're now my favourite Bindi. Bindi Irwin second. I'll say it. The Bindex has seen it. You made my day. Thank you very much. We're going to go now to Kate. I believe it's in Mount Wellington in Auckland.

Good morning, Kate. Morning. Okay. You've heard the dismal disaster so far that has been the Long Weekend Group Tour. Let's see if we can make this happen. All righty. I'm right. They still leave the park, so I'm hoping for the best.

All right. Terrible traffic there, always. Okay, I'll go. Oh, Lucas. Oh, that was a good toot, though. If you're around, do we want to try one more time? Okay, I'll go again. Okay.

Nothing. Oh, that was a good toot, though, and that's not on you. We have a good phone as well. Let's go to Abby, who's also in Christchurch, but nowhere near Hayley. Abby, we're about to you. I'm in Christchurch. Okay. It's a pretty big place, Abby.

Can you give us a more? Rickon. Rickon. Rickon and Mull. Yeah. Okay. Lovely. All right. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot.

Okay. Lovely. All right, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Okay. They beeped when I was beeping. Oh, there was a beep? Oh, they went over you. Go again. And if you were listening to Abby toot, wait till she's finished a toot back. You've forgotten how? Okay.

It's the button in the middle of the steering wheel. Oh, you're coming to a stop. Hold on a minute. Oh, okay. That's the best place to do it. Are you ready? Yep. Great tooting. Great tooting.

What kind of car have you got? And is that its default horn? That's a nice horn. It's a good horn, but... It's a Maserati Deveo. It's such a small horn. It's a good horn. It's a Mercedes Deveo. It's such a small car. Great for a ram raid. Great for a turn, apparently.

Not at all encouraging ram raids. Thank you very much, Abby. Hayden, let's go to Hayden before we take a halftime break here. Hayden, it hasn't been a strong first half. We're about to you. I'm on Morehouse Avenue in Christchurch. I'm just on the Colombo Street overbridge. Can you see Hayley?

No. Okay, all right. Well, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group too. Can we get a question on Hayley? Hayley is listening. Turn your radio down, please, Hayley. Yeah, I'm with you, I'm with you. Where are you?

We're on Manchester. Oh, okay. We don't want to rig it, though, do we? We don't want it rigged. Where are you? We're on Manchester. Oh, okay. It sounds like we don't want to rig it, though, do we? We don't want it rigged. No, but if they're in the vicinity. Okay. Apparently someone's following us at the moment. Looking to toot in your toot.

Well, we'll come to Hayley next, but let's go back to Hayden, the other H-A-Y, and get his toot. Give us a long weekend group toot, Hayden. See, the phone cut out. No. See, your phone cut out just at the last beep. It was all good until then, and this is why we're saying it could be the last one, because the phones are going to go back to a Nokia 3310.

You reckon we get burners for the long weekend group toot? Send them out. Drug burners. Drug phone burners. Yeah. Thank you very much, Hayden. We'll go to Hayley. Wait, are they two back?

Hayden, I think Hayden was saying they're two to back though, right? Just the one. Okay, you want to try again? You try again. Try again, Hayden. Yes, it's cut out. We'll go to Hayley. We'll go to Hayley.

Hayley, one more try from you. Okay, we're on the corner of Hereford and Manchester. Hang on, window down. Here we go. I heard it. Who tooted that? I heard that. Who tooted that, you or Jared? No, that was Jared, and he stumped it up.

He's sloppy. He also gave the guy in front of us a massive fright, and he started driving through a red light. Oh, no, no, we don't want that. Can you reach over and give Jared a toot? And I do mean the horn. I do mean the car horn. Okay, ready? Here we. Can you reach over and give Jared a toot? And I do mean the horn. I mean, I do mean the car horn. Okay, ready?

Here we go. I'm going to give it a toot. Okay. Yay! There we go! All right, let's take a halftime break. Let's take a halftime break. Recoup, get yourselves an orange.

Yep. Hydrate, test the horns, throw your phone away because it's too smart for its own good because it's gaining a noise as soon as it recognises it. And we'll be playing ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. And we have said it could be the last one, and you've heard... We wanted to do this to show you why. We wanted to let you know the problem

and then let you see the problem yourself. Yeah, because a lot of the problem is that phones are so good that they're cutting out the background noise and they're even cutting off the first parts of toots. And that was never a problem before, was it? No. So, second half of what could be the last ever long weekend group toot. And I think we'll start in Hamilton, a place that over the years has always delivered. Olivia, whereabouts in Hamilton are you?

I'm in Melville along State Highway 1. Okay. All right. Okay. Wait, State Highway 1? The old one going to, or three, whatever it is going to. The old. Oh, yeah.

They're going to put that bypass in. All right. Well, when you're ready, Olivia, give us a long weekend group toot. Sometimes I feel like we're in the war and I'm listening to like Nazi radio signals that we can just get weekly and I'm really trying to pick up a little something because the toot bag, but no one tooted back there today, Olivia.

No. Okay, let's... What's that, sorry? I was practising around with my kids and they're beating up. Oh, you got it on the practice. Always the way. Yeah, that's the way it is. Olivia, thank you for trying. Let's go to Maddie and Donna.

Maddie and Donna, whereabouts in Auckland are you? Sandringham. Sandringham. Sandringham, okay. And what age did you... Well, you'll piss Helen Clark off if you do it too much around Sandringham. She doesn't like loud around her house. Give us a long weekend group toot when you're ready.

Yes! I heard it! I heard it! There was a beep short, but there was definitely a response. You were one short on your toot, but there was a response. Yep. We'll take that. On this day, on this day. On any ordinary day, it might not, but there was a response. Yeah, we'll take that.

On this day, on this day. On any ordinary day, it might not, but on the last Longleague Ingrid Tour, that one's going to count. Thank you. On the Honours Board, Maddy and Donna, congrats. Let's go to Steph Dunedin. We're about to hear from you, Steph. We're going to hear from Dunedin. Yeah, I'm outside uni by the University College.

Is it a bit early? Isn't everyone hungover and still in bed until like 12? No, no one's even there back yet. They aren't even back yet, are they? Older than nursing and health students are back. Is it a bit early? Isn't everyone hungover and still in bed until like 12? They aren't even back yet, are they? All of the nursing and health students are back. Why are nursing and health workers working so much harder than just everybody across the block, even when they're only studying?

They're back weeks before everybody else. They're the true heroes. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay, well, when you're ready, Steph, give us a long weekend group toad. All right. Here we go. Did you hear that?

No. No. We couldn't hear a thing. I didn't hear a thing. Classic phone shenanigans. Yeah. Go again. Hopefully they're a little bit closer.

Yep. Yep. Yes. Yep. Go again. Hopefully they're a little bit closer. Yes! Yes! Was that a couple? That was a couple. That was fantastic. Two replies. That takes us to five out of ten. Yeah, that's good stuff. Five out of ten today, Steve. You may be the last successful participant in a long weekend

group, too. We're going to go to Christchurch. Rebecca and Peyton. Rebecca and Peyton, whereabouts in Christchurch group too. We're going to go to Christchurch, Rebecca and Peyton. Rebecca and Peyton, whereabouts in Christchurch are you? We are sitting outside St. B's. Oh, okay. Yeah. We're just on through the traffic lights. There's heaps of traffic. Okay, give us a long weekend group too when you're ready.

All right, all right. Toot me, mate, toot. Oh, I'm like, he's looking at me, but he didn't toot. He looks at me like a crazy lady. Good horn. Great horn. Great horn from you. Do you want to give her another go?

Yeah. One more go. One more go. Okay. Go on. Okay. My daughter's very embarrassed because now we're outside her school. I like this.

Let's embarrass her. Oh, team, I'm really disappointed. You've got nothing to be sorry for. You've got nothing to be sorry for. Because here's what I liked about it. The toot was good and you embarrassed your child doing it. That's an honorary point, you know. It's good.

Rebecca and Hayden, thank you. Let's jump ahead to Hayden. I believe Hayden was on previously. And and Hayden, you were on Morehouse, and apparently you've had people around tooting back to you. Yeah, there was heaps. Okay, let's go again then. When you're ready. I'm not there anymore.

Is that a problem? It is a little bit of a problem, yes. Yeah. Smidge of an issue there. Okay, we'll pop you on hold. Let's go to Cindy in Mount Maunganui. Oh, lovely, babe. Plenty.

Yep. Cindy, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toad. Okay, ready. I heard it. I heard it. There was a reply, wasn't there? We got it. Yes.

Okay, yeah. Faintly in the distance. Gorgeous. I think what we'll do now, Cindy, I think that could be the last ever long weekend group two successful because we're going to go to Hayley now who is in our 13th participant this morning. Yes.

Who is in Christchurch traffic in the ZM Black Thunder. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Do you have any kind of giveaway? Are you giving away some free yogurts or something? Yeah, we've got some free yoghurt pouches and some packets of sun-made raisins. Have you got any bole sunglasses? Yeah, yeah, some sunglasses.

All thanks to Foursquare. Yeah, and you'll be there for the next 10 to 15 minutes. Yeah. My stock's large. You know, Hayley didn't have to do this part of radio, do promotions like we did. No, I just strolled in. Yeah, I strolled in. You didn't have to go to radio of radio, do promotions like we did. No, I just strolled in. Yeah, I strolled in.

You didn't have to go to radio school. Yeah, you didn't work your way up. You don't know how lucky you've had it. I didn't do it either. I'm learning through doing by watching the masters. Right, okay. I'm just working with two nepo babies, basically. Yeah, big nepo babies.

All right, whereabouts are you, Hayley? My dad's Paul Holmes. Let's finish it off. We're full circled around. We're back on Morehouse where there seems to be lots of traffic. We are moving at the moment, but I think we're coming up

to the light by the New World on Morehouse. Okay. Oh, there's a sign for the drinks we like. Okay, here's a red light. Here's a red light. Then there's going down. Okay, go for it.

Okay, ready? We're just stopping now. Here we go, Jared. Take it away. No, dead. Did you get that? No. Are you kidding me?

Did someone two back? Yeah, one more time. We're at a complete stop. Let's go. Go. Yes. Wait, was that you? Was that you? was that you Did you just toot yourself Was that you

Did you just toot yourself No No it was someone else Let's Well let's end there The long weekend group toot Thanks to our friends At Foursquare

Enjoy your incredible Long four Long weekend If you're having a long weekend If you are Yeah a lot of people Taking that If you have to go back

To work on Monday To then just take Tuesday off. Yeah. That's not much fun. No. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. This week at Fact of the Day headquarters is Word Origin Week.

Yeah, so like we're phrases in. Can I just say that again? Word Origin Week. That was hot. Was it? Hayley told me I should do more voiceovers. Hayley and Aaron. Sade wasn't fully on board, but I think she just went with the crowd When we were in the Uber yesterday

I was doing silly voices Yeah And Hayley said I should have a voiceover gig Well you did that cartoon that time remember Yeah no I'm talking like a Like a corporate voiceover gig Oh One that pays the pennies

Oh right like Gets some coin in my pocket Right Like you're like Lines the purses Why don't you get five gigs on Vodafone That kind of thing Something like that

I could probably do it a little bit better than that. Because, you know, I was the spokesperson for Garage Doors there for a while. Yeah, but they kind of... Garage Doors. They didn't renew you. They didn't renew me. And I think that was an issue with the voicing. Yeah, well, I do do the PGG rights and ad every now and then.

They'll get me to do that. But I think that's more of a... But that's... The fact that I have... You make farmers horny. Is why, actually. I do make farmers horny. Yeah, you do.

There's actually a female farmers Facebookny. There's why, actually. I do make farmers horny. Yeah, you do. There's actually a female farmers Facebook group. FFF. Right. And there's often talk about how horny I make. Farmers across the board, both male and female.

I've even got some very heterosexual farmers questioning themselves. Okay. Right. So I've heard. Right. But yeah, that was

fact of the day, weak. Weak. That double E-K there. I don't know. That's not doing it for me. Let me heard. Right. But yeah, that was fact of the day. Weak. Weak. That double E-K there. I don't know. That's not doing it for me. Let me speak. Speak. Roll on it.

Anyway, that sounded nice on my headphones, so I'll do that again. But we've been looking to the origins of words, where they come from. This one, I am so pleased to finally know. Okay. Because the word shampoo is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. The word shampoo is ridiculous. Can we all agree the word shampoo is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. The word shampoo is, can we all agree,

the word shampoo is ridiculous. Okay, I'm finally going to know why it's called shampoo. Why it's called shampoo. And also, shout out, my sister messaged me last night and she said, someone they used to live next to

put this up as a Facebook status. Yeah. And she had said, she doesn't know I'm reading this, Kelly said, I said to my daughter, did you learn anything at school today, Sadie?

Yeah. And Sadie said, nah, I don't learn much at school, Mum. I do all my learning from Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley during fact of the day.

Yes. And I've missed it the last couple of days because you've been early. Well, now she's not learning. Now she's going to learn about shampoo. Sadie, I hope Mum's running a little late because we're also running a little late.

Yeah, we are. Oh, my. Okay, hurry up. We are. It's called shampoo. Quickly. Shampoo started as a verb. Shampoo comes from Hindi and it is derived from the Sanskrit root chapati.

Yeah. Which you may recognise as a sort of a bread. Okay. Chapati. Chipotle. Not chipotle. Okay. That's a sort of a bread. Okay. Chapati. Chipotle. Not chipotle. That's a delicious sauce. Yeah.

Chapati is the origin from Sanskrit and shampoo from Hindi means to massage. It's a verb. So like you're massaging the shampoo in. So it started out as the chapati. You would be kneading the bread. Okay. Kneading it and making the bread. And then it was more about just kneading and massaging in general.

Yep. And then, of course, when you are washing your hair, you're essentially massaging and kneading the hair. Okay. So shampoo became known as the verb to wash one's hair in 1860. But it wasn't the noun, as we know it now, you're going to buy a bottle of shampoo. Yeah. Until significantly later. Wow.

Into the 1900s. Okay. Yeah. And then it was, shampoo was only to do with hair. Yep. And then you, someone was washing their carpets and they're like, it's not really washing, is it? So then shampooing became extended to the washing of materials sometimes.

Oh, you shampoo your carpet. Shampoo your carpet. Okay. Shampoo your different bits and pieces. The more you know. The more you know. The more you know. So today's word, and I'm hoping something that Sadampoo your carpet. Okay. Shampoo your different bits and pieces. The more you know. The more you know. The more you know. So today's word, and I'm hoping something that Sadie's learnt.

Yeah. Because she's had a pretty shit first week back at school. Yeah. Zero learning. She's easing back into it, but we don't ease back in. No. We learn from day one here. We do.

At the School of Fetish, one of Hayley's fact of the day. Today's origin word, fact of the day, is that shampoo comes from the word chapati and it means to massage. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Thank you to everybody that participated in the long weekend group too. It was lovely to get out there on the road with Jared to be amongst it. We've got a wedding this afternoon. That's why we're here. And I hear there's some food trucks going. So if you own a food truck and you're heading to a wedding in Rangi Ora,

familiarise yourself with this face because it will be visiting you a lot. I am already starving and the day hasn't begun. It needs a lot of food in it. Daddy loves to eat at weddings. You should see this guy last weekend day when all the, they had quite young, like teenage weight stuff coming around with the canapes before the main dinner. He's bullying them, wasn't he?

No, this face. No, he wasn't. He was flirting with them. This man, this table. Over here, my son. Over here, my boy. Yeah, come over here, boy. Bring me those delicious

looking flowers. And I posted this on my story, but I nearly didn't have my suit. My wedding suit. Well, I know, but you looked fine in that robe. Absolutely fine. Thank you.

I was thinking the Crowne Plaza robe would be a sufficient fallback. Yeah. If my suitcase didn't turn up. Aaron definitely brought a couple of shirt options. He's a 2XL long. Yep.

From Johnny Biggs. Yeah, no, that wouldn't work. And Fletch is a ladies medium, so that's not going to work. Actually, Hayley, what size is my shirt? It's small. Yeah, I'm a small shirt now. It's small. My mum is so worried about you.

You're fading away. Tell her to eat some kimchi. Tell her I'm a small shirt now. My mum is so worried about you. You're fading away. Tell her to eat some kimchi. Tell her about the gut health. It's gut health, Christine. Christ alive, if I hear gut health again, I'm going to crack you with this cricket. You've got to get into your fermenting. I'm just saying, just add a bit of fermented food.

So anyway, so we're taxing. I was on a different flight than you guys. I was midday. You guys were 2 o'clock. And we were taxing about to take off, and I was about to different flight than you guys. I was midday. You guys were two o'clock. And we were taxiing about to take off and I was about to turn off my phone. Unlike you two who were still active above the Manukau Harbour. Not me. Sade.

Oh, Sade. Oh my God. But when we landed, my wrist buzzed and I was like, oh, I didn't put flight mode off. But I slept the whole time. So my phone buzzed and I looked down and it said, you have left behind your small suitcase. Yeah. And because I have ear tags in all my baggage. And sometimes if you've got ear tags or anything like that, you know it's a bit laggy.

Sometimes you know your wallet or your keys are with you. My watch is laggy sometimes. And I was just dismissed it. I was like, whatever. And then when we were in Christchurch Airport waiting for our bags, I looked at my air tag and it said 20 minutes ago, my bag was at Auckland Domestic Airport. And I was like, and I'm in Christchurch. So it turns out when I booked my flight, I got a seat plus bag minus bag.

Yeah. Minus bag. And I was like, that's algebraic. That is algebraic. It is. And so I could see from the tracking it was going to be loaded onto your flight. Yes. Which was at 2 o'clock.

And I was like, so I went to the lady. NZ547, if anybody's wondering. Yes, stunning. Good flight. For the aviation. What do you call people that watch planes? Plane spotters. Plane spotters.

Yeah, yeah. There's Facebook pages for that. They're like, why is this plane flying over here? We flew over. I thought the same thing. We flew over a Qantas plane. You flew over a plane? Have you ever flown over one plane?

That's so like Dom. I did that. That's Dom a plane? Have you ever flown over one plane and another plane? That's so like Dom. I did that. That's Dom energy game. And you don't realise how fast they're flying. You're flying. No, it was wild

and you never see a plane flying from the top. It's a weird angle to see a plane flying from. It is. So I said to the lady, and they said they'd courier it. They were really lovely.

And then when I realised it was the same flight as you guys, I said, well, you just pick it up if you'd be so kind. So Sade got off the plane and desperately needed, in her word, a mims. Yeah.

She needed to go mims. Yeah. So I said, I'll go down to the baggage carousel, which I know we talked about this, but it does look a little bit like a willy in Christchurch. Yeah, it looks like a willy. It comes out like a willy. It comes out by the balls. I always stand by the balls.

Yeah, in Christchurch. I stand by the flaps and the balls by the balls. I always stand by the balls. Yeah, in Christchurch. The flaps and the balls. I stand by the flaps and the balls. Who's waiting at the tip? I was waiting at the flaps and the ball for so long. For your bag and it never came. Jared's came. Our friend Todd's bag came. And I was like, if you stand in the balls, it's never going to come.

Who? Yeah, oh, he's Jade. Jared's Jade. I was like, Jade, you're Jade and you've got your bag? Yeah. This is unacceptable. Hey, Jade people are people too. Jade level.

It was very humbling. It was very humbling. It was very humbling. So I managed to get my bag, Sade's bag, Aaron's bag, Hayley's bag all loaded up before anybody else even got there. So I went over to baggage claim. Because you were by the balls. Yeah. Because I was by the balls.

Because he was waiting by the balls. And the flames. Always sat at the balls. Sat at the balls. And I had to actually chase Hayley's around the tip. He did. I saw him running it to the tip. I was coming down the lift and I saw Vaughan run into the tip

and I was like, what's he doing there? He picked up my bag. For some reason, I didn't have that colour in my mind for what your bag was when we loaded it. People have been messaging

and saying that since we said that the Christchurch luggage carousel looks like a D&B, that they can't look at it the same. Are you coming down that elevator? You tell me you look down there and you don't see

D&B. Very felling. So I run over to the baggage climbs and I do a classic thing that Sade tells me. Anytime I call a call centre, the first person that answers the phone, I dump all of my problems on them. I explain everything to them.

Rather than just being like, am I talking to the right person? I'm calling about insert subject. I hate that. They're like, wait there. We'll put you through. Rather than saying the subject first. Yes.

So I end up telling my story to about five people in its entirety. So that's what I did. I walked up to the lady at the baggage claim and I said, hello, my name is Vaughan Smith. My work colleague. You may know me from. I heard this. He said, do you know who I am?

You may know me from. I've been on seven days and yeah. Have you been paying attention? Yeah. It's quite embarrassing. Showed her my IMDB. And I said, my coworker, I gave her the whole story. And she's like oh yes

the bag isn't here yet because it's on your flight and I was like okay well I'm off my flight and then I went back after I went MIMS because I thought after Sade put it in my head

that she needed a MIMS and then send that giant send that giant penis conveyor belt of baggage I came back she's like here's the bag she passes me the bag

gel handle because I arrived gel handle yeah because it's like a memory foam handle almost like a get this a go Here's the bag. She passes me the bag. Gel handle. Because I arrive. Gel handle. Yeah, because it's like a memory foam handle. I'm going to say, okay, why is that a thing? Get this a go. Can I put my gel handle? Gel handle, yeah.

Handle. I'm sorry. An experience unlike no other. I didn't know we had arthritic calloused fingers that required a cushioned handle. It's a lovely handle. Gel handle. And the wheels are smooth. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a great handle. Gel handle. And the wheels are smooth. Oh yeah, it's a great suitcase. The bearings

in those wheels. I mean, they might be roller blade bearings. It's a Samsonite. But we all had a guy, and then Aaron arrived because he had a Mims later, and I said give this a go. Gel handle. And he said, oh, this is nice. It's a good suitcase. It's a little mini suitcase.

And then we loaded all of the other baggage onto a trolley and then we all argued over who was going to get to tow your baggage because of the gel handle. It must be nice. Gel handle. And then when I pushed down the handle to go in the back of the Uber, it slid down. We were all like, with ours.

Yeah, it's good stuff. How the other half lived. You can see why I was upset that it was lost for like an hour. Oh, money bags.