ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 2nd May 2024

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Best Beaches  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan cut in!?  Top 6: 24 Hour Gyms  What did you hide from your parents?  Hayley figured something out...  The Anonymous Phoner!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. Already laughing out louder with Fletchforn and Hayley. You did your seven days live show last night. I did, it'll be on the telly tonight,

but it was live at Sky City last night. Absolute blast. Absolute blast. Absolute blast. New Zealand versus the world. I was going to say, well done on making the selection for the New Zealand team. Thank you so much.

Me, Melanie Bracewell and Dai Henwood. Too many women. Too many. Very tall women next to Dai. Tall woman. I was going to say tall woman and a short man. What do they,

do you guys have a name? Like, you know, the Black Stacks or the All Blacks. We were team New Zealand. Maybe you've got to have a name. Oh, I think the sailing team has already got a name. The? Like, you know, the Black Sticks or the All Blacks? We were Team New Zealand. Maybe you've got to have a name. Oh, I think the sailing team's already got dicks on that. The sailing team, I know. The bros.

And the world team with the hoes. Right. That's on tonight. Did you put the bros before the hoes? Always put the bros before the hoes. Yeah, good. Fantastic. Oh, the hoes are so low down my list.

Top six on the way. Yeah, a man is upset that his 24-hour gym membership has been revoked because it turns out he was just staying the night at the gym. It's 24 hours. He's got them there. They don't put a limit on how long you can be there. I kind of think. I think if you look at the contract, it probably doesn't say. You can sleep there.

You can sleep there. Where was he sleeping? Maybe he's just resting between sets. You do a big set, you can have a bigger rest. We'll delve into the story soon, but you've got the top six. The top six other things you can do at a 24-hour gym.

Well, unless you read the contract. Then they'll be like, don't do that here. Contracts. Coming up on the show, we've made, New Zealand's made a list of the top 50 something. Oh, that's good. We'll get into that. But next, a great new.

What? You said top 50. It feels like we'll be. Top 50. Pretty low down. Yeah, we are. Yeah. You know when people say like, you guys are my like top 17 friends.

You're like, well, you said 17. We're obviously 17. Yeah. Otherwise, you'd say top 10. We're very close to 50. Oh. Great news though, next for Tramblers.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I, we need to talk about Christchurch Airport. We need to call them out. Well,

why? It's a good airport. I know exactly what she's going to say. I made Vaughan do it for me the last time we travelled to Christchurch. There is something about Christchurch. There is something

about Christchurch airport when you take your laptop out of its bag or case or whatever and you put it in the tray and you go to pick it up it snaps you. It gives you a little static shock. Only in Christchurch what is going on? And I even said to the security last time I was there I was

like what is it about? She's like I don't know. It's a thing. You put your hand on your metal laptop and it just goes. Every time. Electric shock. Yeah, you're right. It does. Never happens in Auckland.

Never happens in Wellington. Do they need to ground it? Does it need one of those. Earthing cables. Those belts that used to hang off the back of the car in the 90s that they said would reduce car sickness. Maybe. It was earthing the car.

I wonder how many people drop their laptop because they're like, well, I feel like emotional and physically traumatised by it because I like

wait for it now. Yeah, because I always forget. I always forget. And then last time you reminded me and I was like, I said, I said I would give Vaughn anything he wanted

if he just picked up my laptop. I hate it. So then I had two laptops. And then I lost my laptop. Great news for travellers out of Auckland International Airport because they are getting the fancy Fandangle screening machines where you can leave your liquids, gels and aerosols and your laptops inside your bag.

Yeah. So they've had this in Melbourne for a while. And whenever I've, is it leaving Melbourne or arriving in Melbourne? Leaving Melbourne. Yeah. Where they're like, they'll start yelling at you. And there's like one of the things where they're like, just leave your laptops. Just leave it all.

I had a few at Christmas in America. And yeah, they're yelling at you, leave everything in your bag. Leave everything in. So Simeon Brown, or is it Simone? Simone. Yeah, Simone Brown, who's the transport minister. Very confusing name, because I'm used to saying either Simon or Simone. And this one's different.

And it looks like a different language, so I don't try. I'll say Minister Mr. Brown, or Mrs., I don't know, said it's going to create a more efficient and seamless travel experience. I totally agree. I will say if you've got a lot of like, you know how you have to have your battery packs, your headphones, your chargers, when it's all lumped in your bag,

they say it's fine. It's getting slid across and it's getting looked at. Yeah, I know. I still think sometimes it's better just to chuck your electronics to the side because otherwise it looks like a big tangly mess of what they think could be a bomb. Yeah, exactly. But it's so handy. Oh, my God, yes.

It's always the worst part of the airport experience is unpacking that bag. I've seen how this works Because I accidentally got a tube That was It's meant to be 100 mils right Yeah And it was 110 Oh yeah

And then this guy was like And I saw him do it It comes up with this 3D image And he's got like a mouse And he like rotates it It's incredible So you get like this incredible 3D image Wow

On the screen And it's got everything there That's why you don't have to take things get like this incredible 3D image on the screen. It's got everything there. That's why you don't have to take things out because they can like spin it round. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a better look at it. I wonder if this will solve my metal penis problem. I'm always patting around my chest.

No, that's a scanner. That's a scanner. Didn't you get a side brush of a... Twice. You've had... They've brushed your penis twice. Once at Auckland Domestic and once at Sydney International. That's just because you're hot, I think.

I think it's because you're hot. And you give off big D energy. I wondered if, because I was walking probably, because in Sydney anyway, it had been warm and I maybe had a little bit of chafing. I think I might have been walking a little wide-legged. As if you had a massive shlong. You know those guys that you see walking

and you're like, that guy's obviously packing a massive shlong. Yeah, he's got a wide distance. Or it's chafing. Yeah, he's got a wide distance. Or it's chafing. Yeah, it could be chafing. In my case, it's chafing. It's chafing, right. Next on the show, New Zealand has made a top 50 list.

Yeah. Clearly we're not in the top 10. No. Not even the top 20. Definitely not. Clay, Zed Enns, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, New Zealand has made it to number 46 on the top beaches list in the world. Wait, with just one of our beaches? Just one of our beaches.

So this is how they came up with this list. The top 50 beaches for 2024. Eight criteria. Unique characteristics. Wildlife. Untouched surroundings. Yeah. The soundtrack of nature. Oh, that's nice. Easy to enter the water. criteria, unique characteristics, wildlife, untouched surroundings, the soundtrack of nature, is it easy

to enter the water, is the water often calm, and is it not too crowded? Oh, calm, so they're going for tranquil beaches, not your peahas. And idyllic conditions, yes. Yeah, right. Yeah, not your thrashing west coast beaches. Not your best of luck tears. Your Mount Maunganui.

Yeah, beautiful. Because, you know, you get some big waves there. Oh, yeah, that would. But that you think, like, what's... Abel Tansman? No, no, you're beautiful. Beautiful? No, I'm thinking of the hidden one in Coromandel. Chums, new chums.

Oh, new chums, yeah. See, that would get a bit wavy too, wouldn't it? No, that's pretty chill. That's a beautiful beach. I'm surprised it's not on it. Yeah, I'm surprised as well. Or Waipatiki or ones in the Hawke's Bay.

It's the only New Zealand beach to make it into the top 15. Number 46. I've got the top 10. Do you want to hear the top 10? You don't get a medal for 46. What would that even be made of? Crate paper. It'd be one of those chocolate coins. How good are those? Except the chocolate's yuck.

No, they're the best. They last in your fridge for like six months after Christmas. Yeah. They are good. No, the chocolate's terrible. I know, but they're fun. Yes, they're fun. We did this the other day.

We did Friday rankings on chocolate shapes. Okay, what beach is it? Okay, top 10 beaches in the world with all of that criteria in mind. Horseshoe Island in Myanmar is 10. Green Lagoon, French Polynesia at 9. That sounds nice. I haven't been to one of these. It sounds nice, but now I'm thinking about it.

A green lagoon? Yeah, algae is what comes to mind. I haven't been to any of these. Seychelles, there's a beach there called Ansi Georgette. Pink Beach in Indonesia. What is pink beach? That sounds nice. It ate so many prawns and stuff when it was a duckling that it's gone pink like a flamingo.

Yeah, it's not green. I just saw a picture too. I'm like, that's not green. That's turquoise. What did you say that last one was called there? Pink beach in Indonesia. Turquoise Bay in Australia. Yeah.

That's number six. Is that Queensland? Beach in Cape Range National Park. Pink Beach is actually pink. Is that? Yeah. Like the sand or the water. Where is the Pink Beach?

Can you swim? Why are the beaches in pink? This exceptional beach gets its striking colour from microscopic animals called foraminifera. Oh, yes. Which produces a red pigment on the coral reef. Turquoise Bay in Australia is in the west coast. Oh, like around like Perth. Yeah.

There's some beautiful beaches there. Oh, yeah. Sharks. Yeah, sharks. Sharks. Yeah, a lot of sharks. I almost said that with the South African accent. Well, they have sharks.

Well, sharks would swim in a straight line from South Africa to Perth. You sound like you're just a British man now. Just like that. Totally good. In Greece, Voutoumi Beach. I don't even know if I'm saying that right. How do I spell that? V-O-U-T-O-M-I.

V-O-U-T. In the Philippines, in Talia Beach, Meads Bay in Anguilla. How do we say? Anguilla. Anguilla. That's by St. Martin, eh? Guys, that Vutumi in Greece. It looks nice.

Emigres. Emigres. I'm kind of seeing how New Zealand hasn't actually popped up in the top ten. No offence. And all of these, they are, they do have that kind of, they're a little bit more isolated and less tourist looking, aren't they? Yes. Not overcrowded like the Cinque Terre's and all that.

In Italy, Cala Meulu. I'm loving this from you. Yeah, it's great Italian from you. It's terrible. Mariulu. Mariulu. Great. Something like that.

And Trunk Bay in the US Virgin Islands is the best beach. Trunk Bay. Or Trunk. Trunk. Like your swimming trunks. I thought you said Trump. No. It popped up immediately.

Definitely not. Oh. Is that beautiful? I'm thinking of, I'm really surprised there's not more Thailand islands, you know? Yeah. Because looking at that Trunk Bay, I'm like. Again, the criteria for these beaches, not swarming with tourists. True dat.

And that's just Thailand. We've got some Bay of Islands beaches. I think we should have been a little aggrieved here. So wait, what's ours? A little aggrieved? What's ours? Cathedral Cove. Oh.

Yeah, I've been snorkelling there. Stunning. Got the hole in the cliff. Although that's kind of closed, officially closed. Why? Because of the rockfall. The big storm. Oh, the big storm.

You can still get there by boat. I love on the Cathedral Cove, on the edge of the cliff, how the pahutukawa cling. Oh, yeah, they're a great clinger. You know, the roots like cling to the side. You're like, how's that? They're a stage four clinger, those things. They are a great for coastal erosion.

Yeah. Better than a poplar. Oh, God. Next, silly little poll. Which way up do you leave your lipstick or your chapstick or your lip balm? Is it cap up or cap down? I never even thought about this, but I always leave a cap up. Oh!

Controversial. And that is controversial. The results are next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly.

That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole, this comes from a, not an argument, but a disagreement I had with my daughter. Yep. Who was on a video call with her friends. They've each got like a table they sit at

and they were like getting ready together. Cute. That's really cute. Not even 13, 12. Wow. they've each got like a table they sit at and they were like getting ready together cute not even 13, 12 and Indy had spent some of her money on this like lazy Susan makeup thing for all like her products and I noticed

in her lip balm part, the compartment for the lip balms she had it capped down on like ones where the cap is the longest part and the

base is the shorter part, she had it capped down. And I was like... When the cap is long, like that. Yeah. Oh yeah, because if you think about an old school chapstick, little cap. That Burt's Beesbalm's ones, you used to use at some stage. Yep. that yeah oh yeah because if you think about an old school chapstick little little cats bert's bees bombs ones you used to use at some stage yep same shape the caps the shorter part yeah whereas i'm i go cap up where's your lipstick or your big cap lip balm your lipstick shapes you'd

go cap but see i don't know if i would cap. Cap up because that's the way it points. I'm holding one, listener. That's why I'm aghast that he's not understanding. I'll put some on actually. She had what I would consider it to be upside down, which was like cap down and handle that you twist to get it to pop out more at the top. No, yeah, she has got that wrong.

And so this became a massive thing with, I got involved in this chat. And I was like, you guys are all doing this wrong. And so this became a massive thing with, I got involved in this chat. Yep. And I was like, you guys are all doing this wrong. This is how you do it. And they were saying, get out of here, boomer. I was like, yeah, back in my day, we didn't even have a lip balm. We're taking it to the people.

Yeah, so I said, I'm going to put this as a little poll. Okay. Which is correct, cap up or cap down? So much closer than I could ever have thought. Yeah. 56% of people said cap down? So much closer than I could ever have thought. Yeah. 56% of people said cap down. 44% of people said cap up. I think when I voted

it was 60% cap down, 60% up and I was like, ouch. That's impossible. That's 120%. You said 60-60. No, I said 60-40.

60-40, yeah. That's what I meant, yeah. I thought you'd discovered some sort of mathematical anomaly. Dumb. I didn't do good maths. You've done better in English. I've seen it in English and done good.

Yeah, you've done good in England, but in the math you've done bad. How did you go in Skyence? Real bad. Yeah, Skyence. Is it Skyence? It's Skyence, yeah. I've been saying Sheenky. Oh, no, no, no, you silly girl.

It's not great. And you went to a private school. And I went to private school. Yeah, wow. It was Sheenky and it was Mattis. Yeah. Oh, man. Mariana says the balm should always be pointing up.

Yeah. She's right. I think the balm should be pointing up to the sky. But that changes cap to cap. If it's a long cap or a short cap. We're all balm up. Who's going balm down? That's what some people are doing though.

Yeah, some people are balming down. Some people are throwing a balm down. No. With a twisty at the... Yeah, the twisty at the top. Psychopaths. Madness. Courtney says cap down is the way it comes

when it's sealed in packaging. So clearly that's the right way. What do you mean when it's sealed in packaging? You just flip it around in your hand horn and then it's's the right way. What do you mean when it's sealed in packaging? You just flip it around in your hand, Hon, and then it's facing the other way. You know some balms or whatever come in a paper, I don't know, a cardboard and it's got the plastic thing over the top of it, and you

rip that off? It's got a cardboard backing and a plastic thing to stop people opening it in the store and being like bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh. I still open them in store and tongue them all. Do you tongue them? Yep. I've got a little hot glue gun, then I'll seal it back up. Seal it back up. After I've got you.

Furrow. Tonguing. Yeah. Oh, okay, Jamie, good point. You've got to store it in the way that if it melts, it doesn't all end up at the top. So that would also be balm pointing up. Right.

Twisty down, right? Yeah. Because it would melt back into the holder. Really, really open a can of worms here. We have. Good God, how has this evened up for discussion? Cap down stability is far superior. No, cap down stability, no.

I mean, not for my lip balm, but. I think what we're discovering here is it's really varying balm to balm. Yeah. We did use a photo of the Nivea balm, didn't we? The Nivea one, which is more like a lipstick. Like the cap is the longer aspect of the case. The weight is at the bottom for the lip balm on the left, so it's stable and more accurate.

And that is the one that balm facing up, cap at the bottom. Twisty bit at the bottom. Yeah. I didn't feel bad. That's madness, getting towards the bottom of theisty bit at the bottom. Yeah. Yeah. I hadn't thought about that. That's madness, getting towards the bottom of the balm. If you're staring at balm pointing down, it's going to be top-heavy. It's ridiculous. You'd be wiggling everywhere.

Cap up or I'm going to get mad, says Julie. Mason says cap up, you fools, although the application still hurts. Remove cap and twist up from bottom. How chapped are your lips that putting lip balm on hurts? Or is Mason one of those people that only puts it up a little bit in an effort to make it last longer? Only puts it a millimetre above the case.

I like to get the lipstick right out. I'm like a bloody dog. Like a dog's willy. Like a dog that's getting a scratch behind the ear. The lipstick is out. Full chap. Stacey, Chapstick brand Is the other way Cap up

Oh so she's saying Her chapstick's like yours The cap is the shorter Aspect of the case Yeah It's chap It's It's balm to balm

Balm to balm You know It varies from balm to balm Oh it varies balm to balm Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah But the twisty bits Always at the bottom The bit that you twist To get from balm to balm. Oh, it varies balm to balm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the twisty bit's always at the bottom. The bit that you twist to get the balm to come out.

And if it's not, I think we can say you're a psychopath. I think we're certified psychopaths. So yesterday, I've been actually saving up my saving up my facial hair because I haven't had anything on you know in the last like week or two that I need to be

hot for so I was saving it up and then yesterday I filmed 7 Days Live tomorrow it's the Comedy Fest Gala then Wellington and then it's the Comedy Fest Gala. Then Wellington. And then it gets into Comedy Fest. And I was like, right, I'll just save things up, get my nails done right in the last minute so everything's fresh.

So yesterday I, well, I turned up for a nail appointment. That's actually today. Okay. Did they see you anyway? No. Okay. No. Got to go back today.

But I was like, oh, I need it. It's seven days. I've got to go get my eyebrows sorted and this chin sitch sorted. What's the chin sitch? Well, since I've come off the contraceptive pill, I've gotten a bit bristly because of polycystic ovaries. I get a bit hairy. And when you're on the pill, it kind of keeps it at bay.

And then now that I've come off it, it's, she's back and it's all right. I'm just dealing with it. I had never noticed. I honestly hadn't noticed. Thank you very much. That's cute. So I went in and, do you know what? I was going to recommend my barber to you.

Well, do you know what? Because he just can really like. I like the clean line he gets. He gets a great clean line and a good fade. Yeah, yeah, good fade. I am kidding. I also had not noticed. That's cute.

Although he does, that's cute. He does wear, good fade. I am kidding. I also had not noticed. That's cute. Although he does wear glasses. Yeah. I know I can see that. What you're saying is I can see better than ever. Yes, that's what I'm saying. And I still haven't noticed. They magnify. Yeah.

So I was in Browns Bay, which if you don't live in Auckland, it's like it's not close to. Just down from Johannesburg. Little Joburg. Right, yeah. Little Joburg. But I like, it's not close to my house really and it's not close to town where I needed to be

but I was there to get my nails done but that's today. Yeah. Oh no. So I was just looking up, you know, like eyebrow places in Browns Bay and there were all these. You don't just randomly be somewhere and be like, wonder if there's an eyebrow place here, surely.

I did what I was like, I'm going to make use of the fact that I'm out here because I was very time poor and I'd wasted time going to a far away suburb that I didn't need to be in. I was like, I'll get something done. So I looked up and there were all these fancy places that were appointment only. Then I found it.

It was called Desi Hair and Beauty. And I was like, Indian. That's what I need. Right. Because they know. I've had hair removal before, and it was an Indian beautician, and she was like, you a bit Indian? And I was like, no.

But they know how to deal with my type of hair. Okay. I was like, perfect. I want the Indian threading. I'm going in. So I went in, and it was empty. It was perfect. And this lovely woman was, I said eyebrows.

And I said a bit of a chin, upper lip sitch with some wax. She's like, I've got you. She was doing it. And then there was this moment where she did the chin. And then she said, the cheeks. And I was like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah.

Go on then. I was like, cheeks. Jebus. I haven't really checked out the cheeks for a bit. So she went a bit higher. So now we're doing a sort of like Vaughan, your beard area. I'm getting that waxed. Yeah.

I was there and I was like, great, cool. This hair or the cheeks, we'll just deal with it at another point in my life. You're making the most of being in a suburb. I'm in the suburb. And you don't have to go back. You're not going to see this person at the supermarket. You're not going to be coming down the aisle the other way and they're going to be like,

and you'll be like, she's talking about my cheeks. That white girl's got hairy cheeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's not even Indian, she told me. She's not even Indian. So, and then, so she did the cheeks in there and I was like, good.

And then she gets to the threading of the eyebrows and she was like, doing the eyebrows, doing it all good. Like, I love the threading. It's so good. And then she was like, forehead? Forehead? How hairy? I had not noticed this. doing it all good like I love the threading it's so good and then she was like forehead? forehead? how hairy

I had not noticed this have a little look is it hairy? wait so did you climb the forehead? I was like no she was gonna wax that or thread it?

thread okay before you come Vaughn if I do see something don't say something don't say something is this how women work? this isn't terrorism you know when you see something say something this is anti-terrorism if you see something. No. Don't say something. Don't say something? Is this how women work? This isn't terrorism. You know when you're in terrorism,

see something, say something. This is anti-terrorism. If you see something, shut your mouth. Okay, so it's not like a bomb on a train. I don't. I'd say something there, but not with here.

Have a good look. Have a good look. I mean, how... How are you? Yeah, he's gone for the side profile there because you'd see that because of the light. Now go to Vaughn.

Let's go to Vaughn. Come you'd see that because of the light. Let's go to Vaughn. Come around here. Just have a little look. Go side on. Oh, is it like, can you see a fuzz? No. Nothing.

Nothing. That is no hairier than any forehead I've ever seen. So it is hairy. It's not. Wait, do I have a hairy forehead? Give it a look. Wait, do I have a hairy forehead? Give it a look. Like, side on? Is there fuzz?

Yeah, there's like an air of fuzz. But that's everybody, right? There's hair everywhere. Do you shave in the shower? No. It's a waste of water. If I didn't have a beard, I would 100% just jump in, lather the whole thing, shave everything in the shower. With no mirror. No mirror, because you don't need it if you're shaving everything% just jump in, lather the whole thing, shave everything in the shower. There's no mirror.

No mirror because you don't need it if you're shaving everything. Oh, yeah, you're not creating lines. But I've got to do the beard in the mirror before I get in so I don't take a chunk. But then often I'll get in and do the head in the shower blindly. To do the sideburns, I put my finger across and just go like. Yeah. One time I wasn't really thinking

and I realised I was putting the razor down to just above my eyebrows. So I was shaving from eyebrows. I would like to measure that distance. I've got a tape measure today. It would be what, 30 centimetres? It's going to be longer than that. From there to the nape of the neck. Oh my God.

That is a 57 centimetres shame line. It's half a metre of shaving. I was like, my God. Oh, my God, it's so much. That is a 57 centimetre shame line. It's half a metre of shaving. I was like, not looking, and I was like, and I must have just like seen the razor out of my eye. I was like, how far down? And I was like, I've been shaving. To the brow almost. To the brow.

Yeah, that's why he's got a smooth forey. Very smooth forey. Smooth forehead on you. Yeah, beautiful. Oh, wow. Well, great. Well, it sounds like you had a good job done. I had a good job done. The brows look good. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, beautiful. Oh, wow. Well, great. Well, it sounds like you had a good job done. I had a good job done.

The brows look good. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. I had a good job done. I said a few minutes ago, oh, you don't just randomly pop into a place to get the brows done. That's a big roll of the dice. She's done good.

She's done a good job. Threading, though. Threading. It's the way. But I was like, the forehead. I've never noticed. I've never noticed. Well, that's a new hang-up for me.

Maybe she's just used to asking. Yeah, maybe. forehead. I've never noticed. I've never noticed. Well, that's a new hang-up for me. Maybe she's just used to asking. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Well, I'll start shaving 57 centimetres. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Well, howdy there. Hi. Hi. American accent from you. Hi. Oh my god. Hello. Hi.

How are you? How y'all doing? A man in Hawks Bay has had his gym membership revoked at a 24-hour gym because he was staying the night. Where was he sleeping? I don't know.

Where would you go? Where would you go? Benches? Oh, like the actual, no. I would recline. You'd have to go to the changing room. But then what would you sleep on? The cold tiles?

Yeah. Or the bench. You'd bring a mattress. Do you know? A little inflatable Yeah. Or the bench. You bring a mattress. Do you know... A little inflatable mattress. Without giving away too much info, we know someone that works with 24-hour gyms, and it's not uncommon for people to, after town,

take someone back to the 24-hour changing room... Oh, dear. And make sweet love. Sweet, passionate love. Make wussies. And there have been times where they've been in the changing room so long that the security system's kicked in. And then they've come out and it's gone wee-woo, wee-woo.

Oh, my God. Oh, because does the doop when you scan it, does that disable it? I think it does, yeah. And after a little while it's like, well, I don't sense any movement. Yeah. Someone must be gone. There's movement, baby. Isn't that crazy?

Yuck. That is. Give it a rinse in the sink. That is yuck. It must be gone. There's movement, baby. Isn't that crazy? Yuck. That is. Give it a rinse in the sink. That is yuck. It is yuck. Right. The top six other things you could do at a 24-hour gym. Unless you check the pesky contract, I guess.

Number six on the list. Get a sourdough going. Nice thing to take a walk. Oh, a starter. Yeah. With the yeast from the shower. Oh, Fletch. Why did you say that? Athlete's foot sourdough. With the yeast from the shower. Oh, Fletch.

Athlete squat sourdough. Always wear jandies. Always. Always wear your jandals. I saw somebody wearing Birks in the changing room gym showers and they were wet. That could be rubber. No. That's not respecting the cork of the Birks.

That's very disrespectful to the cork and leather. Always respect the cork. And the little metal thing. Holder. Monster. Raise bracket thing. I reckon he just forgot his gym jandals. Yeah, maybe.

You know, and was like, well, what am I going to do? That's yucky. Respect the cork. Yeah. You've got to respect the cork. I won't even wear mine if it's raining. Oh, kick them right off. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Absolutely not. That's croc territory. Yeah. That's when you get the no, no, no, no. Absolutely not. That's croc territory. Yeah. That's when you get the crocs on, you little demon. Number five on the list of the top six things you could do at a 24-hour gym. Just do what I did on Tuesday. Pop in, take a monster 40-minute poo and then leave because you're just like, actually, that took way longer than I expected.

Yeah. You're a monster. I've got a couple of tradies coming. I've got to get home. I mean, technically, you went to the gym. I did. Yeah, scanned in. I literally said to the guy who's there every day,

who doesn't work there, but he's there every day, as I was leaving, I was like, I just came and used the bathroom. I'm leaving. Does this count as a thing? And he's like, on their records, it does. I love that you had to tell someone. Number four on the list of the top six other things

you can do at a 24-hour gym. I use the Wi-Fi to download enough TV and movies to keep you going at home. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. I never use the gym Wi-Fi. No, neither. Every day. Really?

Every time I'm there because I take the iPad. And watch stuff. And I watch shows on streaming. Is it fast enough to download shows? Yep. Oh, wow. Because every other sucker's just listening to music. Yeah.

This guy's getting... Meanwhile, their songs are buffering because you're downloading 4 listening to music. Yeah. This guy's getting... Meanwhile, their songs are buffering because you're downloading 4K TV shows. You bloody bet. Number three on the list of the top six things you could do at a 24-hour gym, put on a crock pot. Go in in the morning, put on the crock pot,

come back after work, crock pot's done. But when would you leave it? Your electricity bill hasn't been affected at all. I don't know if I want a gym smelling like a beef casserole. Oh, my God. It's got to be a beef casserole. It'd be so nice. Would it?

Yummy. It'd be so nice. It'd motivate me. Oh, God, I get this workout done. I can go eat my casserole. Get back to that stew. Number two on the list of the top six things you could do at a 24-hour gym. Have a 24-hour shower.

I've always wondered how long I could last in the shower if the hot water didn't come out. No, you would absorb to it. It would get all so wrinkly. Yeah, wrinkly. Yeah. Couldn't be in there for that long, surely. Stab it up.

I would give it a good go. And number one on the list of the top six other things you can do at a 24-hour gym. Spend the whole day finally trying to solve the age-old mystery

of why the music needs to be so loud when everyone's got their own headphones on. I was wondering that the other day. I was like, do gyms need music anymore? Like, everyone has headphones, unless you forget them. When I've forgotten them, I am appreciative of the gym playlist. Yeah.

But, yeah, we've all got our own. It's so loud. But it would be weird to take your headphones off and just be hearing like But if it's about blanking out the noise, why aren't they just cranking brown noise real loud? That could be a solution.

That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Okay. So. Can I just say something before we start? Sorry, I've just seen this. Okay, go ahead. I've just seen this. What you seen?

A text message. Yep. We talked about things you could do at a 24-hour gym just before the break. Break, news, chat. Here we are, ready to start the 7 o'clock hour hot. I want to revisit the 6 because I've just seen a text message that came in. My ex-flatmate named her kid Jet because he was conceived

in the gym showers at Jet's gym. Shut up. I told you people go to 24 hour gyms to make sweet love. I mean Jet's a great name. I think Jet's a cool name. It's a cool name. It is going to Jet is going to be a Jaden. It's a J name. It's a cool name. The origin story. It is going to, Jet is going to be a Jaden. Yeah.

It's a J name and we all know those are the naughty boys. Or like an artisty, arty, farty musician. Yeah. I know a kid. Still will be my nightmare

if August says, Dad, this is Jet. Or, Dad, this is City Fitness. This is City Fitty. This is Les. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. I love that. Wow. this is city fitty this is Les yeah oh man I love that okay

thank you for your text message that was really good thank you for that snap I'm dating snap if you're a teacher and there's a kid

in your class called Jet there's your background story there you go speaking of names we've all got them that's good

that was good yeah but you don't you don't sometimes that's so good you've got to stop Well, speaking of names. We've all got them. That's good. That was good. Yeah, but you don't allude to the segue. Sometimes that's how good you've got to stop. You acknowledge that segue. Good segue from you. From learning. Now, speaking of names, this woman, she was getting married, and on the day of a wedding, before her vows,

she had to reveal a secret. She had sat on for five years to her parents. Okay. Because at some point, she was going to have to say in her vows to her husband, I, Penelope, take you, let's say, jet. Jet. Jet.

The thing is, her parents don't know that her name is Penelope because the name that they gave her at birth is Pennsylvania. What? I mean, as someone with a child named after a US state or a name the same as a US state, there are some cool US state names. So her sister is Arizona, which I like. No, I don't like that.

You don't like Arizona? I quite like it. What do you call Ari? Areola. Raising Arizona, that movie, that was about, that was someone called Ari. Ari? So her parents did name Flo Rida, that's another great name for a US state.

So the parents named both sisters after American states. Arizona is a sister and Pennsylvania. So she went her whole life by Penny, which is a name that I also love. Yeah, that's a good name. But everyone thought that her name was Penelope.

And so she went by Penny for her whole life. So at the age of 21, she was like, I'm just going to change it legally to Penelope, because I don't like the name Pennsylvania. But she just didn't tell her parents because she didn't want to offend them. And it's not a big jump. Everyone's already calling her Penny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like now I'm Dorkland.

But she didn't tell her parents because they didn't want to get offended, but as a previous celebrant, you have to say your legal name. And that's her legal name. So they would have... And that's her legal name now because she changed it

so she had to reveal it to them. They were so upset because they were like, when did this happen? She was like, when I was 21. I'm so sorry. So she kept this for five years. Five years.

Her parents didn't actually really know her real name anymore. So I just find that weird, like people that get tattoos, I can't show my parents. It's like, oh, you're 30. Oh, yeah, I've got a friend who had that. And then he went on holiday and was like, what am I going to do?

Because it was on his, like, torso. It's like, you're a grown-ass man. You can do what you want. But Finn Lizzie. Finn Lizzie. Do you know what's funny is, though, he had this tattoo for so long that then the mum saw it and she did. She burst into tears.

What have you done? Get a grip. This is what I wanted to know. What did you hide from your parents? And maybe it was something as major as like your actual name. I think there'll be quite a few tattoos. Because you didn't like the name they gave you. Yeah. What was the tattoo of? Of the guy you knew?

Because if it was like a swastika, I can see why mum cried. No, it was. Absolutely. What have you done? Oh, God. I thought you were over that phase. It's an ancient Hindu peace sign. Not rotating that way, it's not.

It was like a sketch of a, I think it was like a Dr. Seuss character. Like one of the things. One of the things. Like cat in a hat. Don't get both things. Not thing one and thing two. Simply one of the things. It was one of the things.

Was it the green eggs and ham? No, no, no. It was thing one or thing two. Yeah. Oh, right. You know, an actual thing. I thought you meant like, okay, yeah, right. No, no, no, no.

Anyway, that aside, he kept it from his friends. The Lorax is a king. If you're going to get a Dr. Seuss tattoo, it's got to be the Lorax. No, you're getting the cat in the hat. Nah, my bias kind of killed it. You're getting the cat in the hat. Anyway, I want to know, he did actually.

No, we're changing the phone. If you could get a Dr. Seuss tattoo, which one would you get? No. Sam I am in Fox and Socks. I want to know what you hid from your parents. I think tattoos will be a big one. Tattoos will be a big thing.

I think relationships, I reckon relationships will be, because, Maybe you were dating a jet, a bad boy. Yeah, you're dating a bad boy, or someone,

Or you're dating full style. Do you want to say it, different gender, or ethnicity? Heaven forbid. Oh my God. Mum, I'm dating someone.

Who is he? She. Okay. And she's black. What? How about that? Are you? Because that sounds hot.

What's in it? Shout out to you. Holy shibolis to kick us off. What did you hide from your parents? Two biological children. Okay. We need to get more on that. Give us a call.

0800 DALES at M is our number. We want to know what you're hiding from your parents or what you did hide. Oh God, here we go. For a long time. You can text in as well, 9696. What did you hide

from your parents? Get to those next. Maybe you're still hiding it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, We want to know what you hid from your parents

because a woman hid her name change for five years and then just had to come clean on her wedding day to say her vows legally. And I, the text started coming in. I'm loving this. Hard and fast.

So many good stories. And I said that someone had texted us saying I had two biological children. We have an anonymous person on the phone. I believe they join us now. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Wait, so you had them?

I was assuming this was from a guy who had got two women pregnant. No. Okay, go on, please. No. So I crossed paths with a really beautiful couple that couldn't have kids. I'm getting emotional. They couldn't have kids on their own. And so I went through an IVF process and donated eggs to them.

So they've got obviously two kids with my genetic DNA, but they're kids. Oh my gosh. Now, that is one of the most selfless, amazing things that one human can do for another. It's like organ donation, except you get to see the organs. See the organs live a life. So why haven't you told your mum? Just because it's a bit complicated with what their relationship would be

with the children and stuff. I do plan on telling them sort of we've got children of our own now. Do you know what? I think I understand that because, like, my mum would love to be a grandparent, but I don't want to be a mum, you know? And if I was to donate eggs, which I would happily do, yeah, I think my mum would feel conflicted. I sort of understand that.

Yeah, I get it now. Yeah, wow. She had the strong urge to be. I, in my mind, thought you might have already had kids. But you had kids. You did this before you had your own children. Yeah. Wow, that's amazing.

Yeah. Far out. Wow. Well, one day when you do tell your parents, I'm sure they'll be very, very proud of you. Yeah, I think so. Caller of the week. Let's caller of the week.

Caller of the week. $50 McCafe voucher. It seems pale in comparison to what you're giving people, but it is the prize. There you go. Thank you very much, Anonymous, for sharing. Maddie, good morning. Good morning.

What did you hide from your parents? I heard from my mum that I accidentally crashed into her car. I mean, she's going to see it, isn't she? Well, so I just swung my car into the garage. I pretty badly clipped her rear bumper. And I knew she was going to the gym. So before she left, I quickly turned her car around so she wouldn't see it when she was getting in.

She went to the gym. And then when she got to her car afterwards, she called me and was like, oh my God, someone clipped my car. Like, they've just left it. Many. So I was like,

oh my God. Okay, I want to give your acting a show. So I'm going to ring and we're going to reenact it. I'm going to be your mum. Okay.

Ring, ring, ring, ring. Do you know how a phone works? You've got to answer it. Sorry, she was ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, wait, so am I being my mum? No, you'll be you.

We're going to test your acting, Maddie. You play yourself. Vaughan will play your mum. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello? Oh, my God, Maddie, it's mum. That probably came up on the screen. Maddie, it's mum.

Someone's bloody crashed into my car while I was at the gym, keeping my hot, hot body tight and, like, lovely for dad. Oh, my God, have they left a note? Oh, wow. Yeah, you just tried to get away with it. I see. I'm suspicious. You went quickly to the note.

Thank you. I'm suspicious now because you went quickly to the note. You went quickly to the note. No, but it's logical. I like that. Oh, my God. No, there's no note. Wait, so, Maddie, did you went quickly to the note. You went quickly to the note. No, but it's logical. I like that. Oh, my God. No, there's no note. Wait, so Maddie, did you come clean?

Oh, she still doesn't know. It happened like three years ago. Oh, Maddie. Was it just insurance? Yeah, she just got it covered and like never brought it up. Oh, my God. No harm, no foul. You're going to die with it on your conscience.

You're always looking over your shoulder. She's going to find out. Maddie, thank you. She's our good little liar. Emily, what did you hide from your parents? Good morning. I had my horse from my parents for about two years. A horse?

Yeah. In your bedroom? Did you dress it up as like a little brother or something? It didn't live at home, but I really wanted a second horse and my parents said if I could afford to buy a second horse then I can afford to pay rent.

We're not doing that. Horses are way more fun. I can't afford both. So I just bought the horse and didn't tell them. But then my old horse passed away about two years later. And then there was a tornado that went through the area that my horse lived. Wait, did the tornado kill the horse? Did it get sucked?

No. I died previous to the tornado. My other one died of old age. And then a tornado went through the paddocks that my new horse, or my then two-year-old horse, was living in, and I panicked. I was at home, and I was like, oh, my God, I need to go check my horse. My mum was like, well, your horse is dead. Why did you go see your horse?

And I was like, I've got another one. And I just ran out of the house. I can't believe it. Here's how it should have gone. When the first horse died, you don't tell mum that the horse died, and then you just have it had some markings on it. Paint that on the new one. Because I don't want to be horses, but to me all horses look the same.

No, but sometimes they're grey, sometimes they're brown. They kind of did look the same. Oh, they did look the same. I just would have done the old switcheroo. You could have got away with it. You could have. Yeah. And then we're like.

That pesky tornado. Yeah. Emily, thank you. Some messages in. Oh, my God. There's so many. My dad had horrible homemade tattoos on his arms that he got in his teens. Had them from his mum, my nana, until at the age of 50 he had a motorbike accident and

was in a hospital without a shirt on and nana walked in and saw them and started whacking him. Whacking him. Dancing in a hospital. You stupid boy. What have you done? I started working in a fairly male-dominated industry. And my parents' piece of advice was,

don't sleep with any of them. You've got to be taken seriously. But what if they're hot? But then, yeah, well, that's what happened. Yeah, okay. One of them was hot, so I started seeing them. We were seeing each other for six months. They were wondering why I was working on the weekend

because that was my excuse. Oh, yep, yep. Just got to get those spreadsheets done. What about this? About 30 years ago when my grandmother passed away, mum gave each of us

three kids $5,000. My sister got a breast enlargement and to this day my mum still doesn't know that's what she spent the money on. My mum would be like, those are up.

Yeah. Those are up and bigger, aren't they? That's only one boob too. Yeah, they're quite expensive. Yeah, they're very expensive.

Maybe she just got the one boob. Maybe she just needed one done, yeah. Which one would you get done? I'd go left. And then just always be left side profile. Yeah, left side profile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would be over the top of the first, the back boob. So you wouldn't see it. You wouldn't need it. You wouldn't need it. That's a tip there.

If you can't afford a boob job. It's called a tit. Just get a tit. A tit. Just one. Just one. I'm hiding so much from my mum at the moment. Here's the list.

I got two tattoos last week. I've been talking to the shitty ex that I promised her I'd never talk to again. And at the moment I'm dating a girl. Previously I only dated guys. Sorry mum, I love you. I just think talk to again. And at the moment, I'm dating a girl. Previously, I only dated guys. Sorry, mum. I love you. I just think this is a lot for you to take in all at once.

I think it is. Trip feed that to mum. My mum's chill as. Doesn't care that I'm queer. Didn't care that before I came out as queer, I joined an evangelical church to try to bury it down and stayed for five years. She then helped me pick out my first tattoo. But when I got my lip piercing, which I told her I was going to do, she didn't talk to me for three days. Oh.

Wow. That's where mum draws her line. Oh. My dad signed me out of school in year 13, said I didn't need to go to school anymore, but don't tell your mother. Hit it for nearly a whole term, but then the dean called mum and said,

why are you still dropping her off in a uniform every morning if she just walks straight out of the school the minute you leave? Oh, God. God, this Juicy hid from my strict Catholic family that my lesbian lover and I got married. Later, hid our first pregnancy. 13 years down the track, we separated, now heading for divorce,

much to their delight. Oh, sorry. Look, but Catholics are against divorce too. Yeah. So, I mean, sounds like they've been picky, choosy Catholics. Oh my gosh. At 19, I hid that I was pregnant until about 30 weeks.

Well done. So only 10 weeks left to go. My Nana found my folic acid tablets. I was like, what the hell are you taking this for? That's a real show. I was carrying quite small, so no one even knew. Even though I lived with my Nana. Oh, wow.

So it was the vitamins. She was like, why are you taking that? I just feel like, I'm just finding there's not enough folic acid in the bread these days. Yeah, I'm not getting enough folic. Yesterday after the show, we decided to get some snacks and a coffee. So we wandered into the store. There was a bit of a line. It was a bit busy. No, here's the store. There was a bit of a line. It was a bit busy.

No, here's what happened. It was busy. Yep. You went. I was having a thorough business-based discussion with a colleague. I definitely wasn't just talking to producer Jared about something wildly inappropriate. Right. On the side of the road.

You guys got ahead of me. Okay, you can have the story back. You can have the story back now. We waited in the line for a while and so we get to the front of the line and I'm just about to order. Yeah. When Vaughn walks, and the line is

behind us. I would say I ordered and then I found a seat and then you got to the till and then a line had formed of about four people. Yeah. I want to say five.

No, it was four. I counted. I was going to say five. I counted. He's five. I think someone in that line sort of did what I did. Fletch is five. He's making five. Maybe that was it.

I'm about to order. When Vaughan Smith walks in, right to the front of the line to me, he does a cut and chat, a famous cut and chat, which I think you did at a line at a concert and you were called out. Do you remember when a listener called you out for cut and chatting at the toilet line? No, no. I was in line.

The listener cut and chat on me. And then cut in front of me. Made Hayley look like an a-hole in front of everybody. Made me look like an a-hole. Well, Vaughn cut and chats. And not only does he cut and chat, I am ordering my coffee and Vaughn says to the lady... Tell everybody what coffee you got.

A mocha. I always get a mocha. So embarrassing. It's not embarrassing. Whenever they bring it over to us, we're always like, oh, God. They're always like, oh, this can't be right because there's three adults at this table. Yeah.

Did you guys leave a baby? Excuse me. I will remind you... Has a baby gone to the toilet? We'll be back soon. I will remind you guys leave a baby? Excuse me. Is there someone? Has a baby gone to the toilet? We'll be back soon. I will remind you that once Captain of the All Blacks, Kieran Reid, Kieran Reid loves a mocker as well.

He loves a moccaccino. He's won a World Cup. Yeah. He's balancing things out. He's balancing out his masculinity. I've got amazing masculinity. You are a picture of masculinity. You are.

Thank you. So I'm at the front of the line ordering my mochaccino. And Vaughan says, and he'll pay for mine. I'm getting an iced latte or an iced americano. And I'm like, oh, am I now? Because you didn't want to go line up. You said, can I have a medium mochaccino? And all I did was pop around and an iced Americano.

But then didn't even put a card down, didn't do anything. Walked over to me and just sat down, leaving you to pay. Born said he'll pay. Because technically it's not a cut and chat. If I'm not paying, it's just catching up with my friend who was buying me a coffee. It's not a cut and chat. It was audacious. It was audacious.

It was audacious. And so I'm just like, oh. I believe gumption is the better term because it's positive sounding. It's audacious. A cut and shed loophole. It was audacious. It was audacious. And so I'm just like, oh. I believe gumption is the better term because it's positive sounding. It's gumption. Okay, well, I paid for your coffee and now you owe me a coffee. Yeah, that's right. It gave you an energy for the rest of the day that you were like, man, I could just, I run this world.

I felt like I was up. Yes. I had four minutes that I wouldn't otherwise have had because of the line. Real arrogant white man attitude. I know. I sort of envy it. Just cutting in line like that. My white male arrogance knows no bounds.

Sometimes I'm doing something and I'll catch myself being like, I wouldn't dare do this if I was a woman. It's nice that you can self-recognize. Oh, absolutely. What's the point of having privilege if you don't enjoy it? Oh, I recognize my privilege and then absolutely continue to bathe in its light. Yeah, privilege is a privilege.

Am I just about to stop and pull a U-turn in the middle of the road? Oh, I do that all the time. I think I am. I do it all the time. And then cheerily wave to angry people. I'm just going to stop here. Go around me if you will. Classic Vaughan Smith behaviour.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan andan Smith behaviour We've got a new We're going to trial a new segment now If it doesn't work You'll never hear it again Yeah that's right We'll just pretend this never happened And we'll just move on with our lives But if it works

We may commission A proper show intro Yeah but I think We'll just feel one out It's a game we're calling What's your jobby jobby Yeah It's called What's Your

Joby Joby Joby Joby Joby Joby Joby Joby Joby What's Your Joby Joby Joby Joby Joby That's Mr Blobby Do you think young people are like who? Big Pink Monster Mr Blobby has had a comeback

He kind of lives in this weird corner of the internet. And we can be like, what's your jobby? What's your jobby? I love this. That's not annoying at all. We're going to ask you three questions, and then we get one guess at your job. If we can nail it, you get a hundy.

Just like that. If we're wrong, we'll go to the next caller. Yeah, great. Holly, good morning. Morning. Good morning. Okay. Vaughan, what's your question for Holly? I have to go first? I'll go first. Okay, go. Holly, do you

have to wear a uniform for your job? Great question. Does an apron count as a uniform? She's answered a question with a question. She's answered a question with a question. Thank you. Does an apron count as a uniform? Oh! She's answered a question with a question. She's answered a question with a question. Well, I think your answer question is enough of information for us.

Apron. Okay, apron. So, you know, butcher, cafe. Welder. Because we haven't set up what kind of apron. Yeah, no, that's true. It could be an industrial apron. I passed the question over to you.

Watcha. Big apron wearers. Yeah. Dairy farmer. Aprons. Oh, that's an apron. Dairy farmers wear bib aprons in the shed. Okay, well, you're going to have to narrow it down, Vaughan, with a question.

What is the apron you wear for work? What is it made of? Denim. Denim! Denim! Cafe! Barista! Barista!

Barista. Cafe. Ask one to clarify, but I'm going barista. Okay, do you work... Is there a coffee machine nearby? Oh, no, what a dumb question. You're not going to be able to establish if it's... We've kind of... Why was that a dumb question? If it's denim, there's going to be a coffee machine nearby? Oh no, what a dumb question. You're not going to be able to establish if it's, we've kind of,

why was that a dumb question? When she's in a cafe, trendy cafe. There's going to be a coffee machine nearby. Don't answer that question. Okay, do you work with muffins? No.

Is that a better question? Don't answer it. Define what role she has. He's gone rogue. Do you deal with food? Do you have lots of tattoos? No, don't say that. Don't say that.

That's a terrible question. What about, do you deal with the? Do you have lots of tattoos? No, don't say that! Don't say that! What about, do you deal with the exchange of money? Because it could be... Does she run in the till? Or is she serving? We're not allowed to say blanket cafe employee. No, I think what is your job title?

What's your job? Who's your employer? Fletch, it's your question, but don't bring up muffins. What was I going to say? Do you work with food? Do you make food? What about do you make food? Why is she wearing denim? Is that your final question?

No, I don't think it should be. I think it should be. All the pressure's on the final question here. Go, okay, do you make food? No. She's a barista. Barista? We're going to lock in barista. We'll lock in barista. Holly! I read it, felt like it. Is your jobby a barista. Barista? We're going to lock in barista.

We'll lock in barista. Holly, is your jobby a barista? No. Oh, no. What's your jobby? I'm a florist. Oh, God. It's an unnecessary apron.

If my question was, was the coffee machine nearby, she would have said no. But does he have flowers? It doesn't, he doesn't have flowers. No, he's right. Yeah. He's right. I'm sorry. That would have led us on a better path.

Okay, well, unfortunately, Holly, no, that's a no for you. We're going to go to... Oh, we're doing another person. Grace. Grace, good morning. We're going to give away 100 bucks. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. Good morning, guys.

Good morning. Hi, Grace. What's your jobby? That's not the first question. I can't tell you. Okay, I've got a question. Do you have a big student loan because of your study and job? Yeah, I've got a student loan.

It's not super massive, though. Okay, so not a doctor. Not a doctor, not a lawyer. Not a dentist, not a pilot. Yep, okay. Grace, do you work 9 to 5? No

Oh That was good from me Good from you That was so good from me Good from you We've got a shift worker We've got a shift worker Nurse

Police Call centres Could be early Or like Stock Warehouse Builder What she studied Might have nothing to do With what she's doing Trades Trades Concenters? Could be early. Or like stock, like warehouse, build it.

What she studied might have nothing to do with what she's doing. Trades? Trades? She'll be in the job. They don't work 9 till 5? It's more of a considerable 9 till 5. They work 7 till lunchtime and then they just hang around and bugger off. And then they'll be back sometime around 4, but they're not. Maybe we'll just see you tomorrow, but maybe we'll also see you Wednesday.

What's your jobby? What's your jobby? Vaughn, you've got to... Do you and your job deal face-to-face with humans? Yes, definitely. It's nurse. It's nurse.

I'm going to say nurse or police. It's nurse or police. No, but we see not a massive student loan. Nurses would have a bag. A student loan might not be massive. She might have worked her way through. Might have been doing it for a while and chopped it down. They don't get paid enough to pay off the student loan. It might not be massive. She might have worked her way through.

Might have been doing it for a while and chopped it down. But they don't get paid enough to pay off the student loans. I know they don't. Nurse. But they don't get a choice. They just get taken out of their wages. Okay. I think nurse.

You want to lock that in? Yeah. Grace, what's your jobby? I'm a sales rep. Oh! This is a hard game. This is a hard game. This is a hard game. Okay, we've got to get better questions.

Okay, we're going to... One last caller, otherwise, what's your jobby? I think he has to come back next week. I reckon we really... We did well with... Welcome, Natalie. Welcome to What's Your Jobby. Hi.

Morning. Do you deal face-to-face with people? I thought that was a great question. Yes. Okay. I'm going to go back to another question, if I may, Vaughan. Please do. Natalie, do you wear a uniform for your job?

No. Deals with people doesn't wear a uniform. So we're talking office, you know? We're talking... But with the... Yeah, see, this is confusing about the do you work face-to-face with people because I consider that like... Not just in an office with other people.

You always say, do you touch people? Huh? Do you touch people? No. Oh, that's a good question. No, no, no, no. That's a good question.

Okay, we've got a free one. She doesn't touch people. But she works with them. She's a teacher. She works with kids. She's not allowed to touch them. No, you do touch kids. You're not allowed to touch them.

I asked. No, you do have to guide them and hold their hands. And you don't wear a uniform as a teacher. You don't wear a uniform as a teacher. You don't wear a uniform. You don't touch them.

You know what we could ask next time is if we think teacher, like do you get a ridiculous amount of school holidays? Do you get more than six weeks holiday a year? Yes, that's a good question. No one gets six weeks holiday a year. Teachers do. That's what I mean. Like most people get like four days or so.

Yeah, but if we're feeling teacher and we've got one question left, the future, that's a good question. Okay. But I'm feeling teacher. Are you? Okay, Natalie. Do you have more than six weeks holiday a year? Yes, I do.

She's a teacher. She's a teacher. Are we locking in teacher? What's your jobby, Natalie? I am a teacher. Yay! That's your jobby. That's your jobby, Natalie? I am a teacher. That's your jobby. That's your jobby.

That's your jobby. That's your jobby. Natalie, you win $100. Oh, thank you so much. I love this game. A little boost in the pay, you know, as a teacher. We'll top you up. $100 for you.

I have a suspicion that something might be going on now I do want to say I want to preface I was not snooping I was not snooping I know what I know what you're going to say

do you? I think I do so I never know what a woman's about to say when she says I was not snooping look I was not snooping I never know what a woman's about to say when she says I was not snooping.

Look, I was not snooping. I wasn't snooping. Sounds to me like there was some snooping going on. You left your phone on the bedside table, I put your pin in, and I just saw something. And then information fell into my eyes. Well, you're not far off, because Aaron, he has the exact same

phone as me, and currently we exact same phone as me. And currently we're both going raw dog. No phone case. Mine broke and he got a new phone and hasn't got a case for it yet. Same wallpaper though on your screensaver on your phone? No. Okay, so not identical phones. Same pin code to open the phone?

No. Sounds like snooping. No. The phone, we were chatting and we had our phones on the table and his was open on his messages. Okay. And I was doing my own thing and then I saw on his phone a message from producer Jarrett.

Oh. What's that about? This is my talking and my short kick. a message from producer Jarrett. Oh. What's all that about? He's my friend. This is my tall king and my short king. I don't have an issue with my short king and my tall king being friends. But what was interesting to me was that yesterday was mine and Aaron's 13-year anniversary,

an anniversary the man's never remembered. And yesterday morning I was at work and I got a text from Aaron saying, happy 13th anniversary, my love, and a beautiful message. And I was like, oh my God, the man's remembered. And then when I saw this message on the phone from Jared, it said, happy anniversary, my brother. And I was like, has Aaron only remembered because my short king, Jared, has subtly reminded the man. This is, wait a goddamn minute, this is men supporting men. This is a fungal network.

Just because you don't see it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. This is men supporting men. Is this what's happening, Jared? I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know. All I want to say is men can support men by wishing them happy things. Because the interesting thing that you may remember is also this year, for the first time, Aaron bought me roses on Valentine's Day.

What a guy. What a guy. What a guy. Why are we questioning? Why are we looking a guy. What a guy. Why are we questioning? Why are we looking a gift horse in the mouth? Why are we just letting him? What is shocking to me is why Jared, on the 14th of February,

would be messaging Aaron to say happy Valentine's Day. Did he message him last anniversary as well? I didn't. I'm not snooping, Fletch. I didn't scroll that far. It's just an interesting. Sometimes you just gotta wish the lads a happy milestone. Wow. Yeah, dude, this is men supporting men.

Wow. I did think she's gonna find out. I was like, she's gonna find out. He's not gonna delete the message. Interesting. I knew this would happen. I never get eyes on Aaron's phone. I have no interest looking through his phone.

The one time I look, I was like, huh, I've been impressed with the man this year. And it has come to my realisation it is actually all thanks to Jarrod. This is men supporting men. This happens, I would say, more often than women think. Listen, listen, listen. And listen, New Zealand.

Let's just keep it between us. Jared, keep it up. Because this is all working in my favour. You felt great. I'm getting gifts. I'm getting seen. Anniversaries are being remembered. No harm, no foul.

I've messaged guys before. I've overheard their partner saying something they wanted to Sade. I'll message the dude and be like, hey, I've just overheard this. And they're always just like, my king. My king. This is man supporting me. Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to bring it up. But hey, good on you, Jared.

But you know what's going to happen next anniversary when he says happy anniversary, my love, or happy Valentine's Day, you're going to be like, did Jared tell you this? Nope. No, she... I don't care why. It's coming with a dozen roses. That's what I was worried you were going to say, but did Jared tell you this? Nope. No, she... I don't care why. It's coming with a dozen roses.

That's what I was worried you were going to say, but she's not. You're saying keep it up. This isn't ending with, how can he not remember this himself? Nope. No, no, no. I had no expectation.

And now, Jared, you have taken some admin. That is a woman supporting men supporting men. Yep, that's what's happening here. Ally. Ally. Ally. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. Ooh. You have to talk because the Hayley and I.

What's happened here is we've gone to Apple Slice. You're eating apples. Well, the sexy wheelbarrow will carry the show once again. I was just like, oh, we've got four seconds and we've got apple in my mouth. Every morning, Fletch cuts up an apple and me and we've got apple in my mouth. Every morning, Fletch cuts up an apple and me and Vaughn get a slice each.

And Vaughn always picks the biggest slice. And not if I get to it first. It's not. That's just how I'm wired. That's just my primal wiring is to pick the biggest part. Did you ever measure

a chocolate bar if you were going halves with your brother? If you can't, you don't get to choose. Oh, yeah, that's a good rule. Yeah. Okay. Okay, I'm ready. The anonymous phone-in

topic. We want to talk about nearly cheating. Yes. Now, here's a little study with some interesting stats. It's a new study that looks into relationships and cheating. Now, bear in mind, this is out of America, so we're better than them, so I reckon we cheat less. Maybe.

A little over 46% of respondents of this survey in a monogamous relationship so not open or polyamorous said they've had an affair. Wow.

Maybe not with their current partner but you know. You've had an affair brewing for many times and at the moment it's not brewing

anymore. It's gone back to a fermentation. It's fermenting it's not even simmering. Nah it's not simmering. Couple of bubbles every now and then. It's been brewing for many times, and at the moment it's not brewing anymore. It's gone back to a fermentation. It's fermenting. It's not even simmering. Nah, it's not simmering. Couple of bubbles every now and then. It's at room temperature with a breathe valve on the top.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Chloe Swarbrick. Man, she really showed up in Parliament yesterday. That got it brewing a little bit again. But no, it's down. Nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity report staying together afterwards.

Only a quarter. Wow. Oh yeah. I would have thought it would have been less to be honest. And 47.5% of respondees of relationship

47.5% of relationships affected by cheating said they established and enforced new relationship rules. What? Like give me your password for your phone?

Joint Facebook. Yep. To minimise the likelihood of more affairs, right? That's why Karen and Steve have a joint Facebook now. Steve can't have his own. Yes, indeed. Now, we were thinking about this because, you know, it's one layer of it saying,

have you cheated on your partner and why? And cheating stories are a dime a dozen. We've done many a topic where we've asked about your cheating encounters. Indeed. But instead, we wanted to know if you've ever considered cheating, maybe made steps towards doing it, and at the last minute, chickened out. Just went, I can't do it.

Have you chickened out of cheating? Have you chickened out of cheating? Have you nearly cheated? Was it on the cards? Yeah. Was the player roster all drawn up? We're texting. We're going to meet.

This date, this time. Let's go. I mean, I feel like for a lot of people, it would be the excitement, the attention that they get. And then the moment where you go to go through with it, you're like, I can't do this. Oh, what the hell am I doing? Because that is cheating.

You can't commit. But then is it technically cheating if you're involved in the hunt? If you're chatting to people. If you start hunting, you're hunting, you know. Whether or not you eat, you're hunting. You're hunting. You're hunting. Yeah.

Okay. Did you go hunting? Now, it is the anonymous. Is it the anonymous? It's the anonymous phone. So no names. You can text in anonymously, 9696. We asked this on our social media.

People are really getting it off their chest. I know. I love this. We're happy to absorb. Yeah, we're going to come back with some juicy stories next. You can call as well. We'd love to hear from you. 0800-DONALDS-IT-M.

Did you chicken out of cheating? The anonymous phone-in topic. It's quite a juicy one today. Did you chicken out of cheating? Big stats. About 50% of marriages have, people in marriages have cheated. According to a study out of cheating. Big stats, about 50% of marriages have, people in marriages have cheated

according to a study out of America. So we're assuming we're slightly better than them, but those are some high numbers. Yeah.

We don't want to know have you cheated? We want to know if you chickened out at the last moment. Maybe you were a little texties back and forth.

Maybe it was all aligned in the last moment. Now, some juicy stories coming through, but there is an underlying theme to a lot of these messages. What's the theme? People are horned off? Halloween.

No, people going through with it eventually, even if not the first time. Yeah, that's that. Some of the messages involve that. Yes, I chickened out of cheating until the next time I had a few drinks. Yeah. And I ended up back at his house and followed through with it. But I chickened out of cheating until the next time I had a few drinks. Yeah.

And I ended up back at his house and followed through with it. But I chickened out the first time. Somebody else said yes with my manager. It almost happened. And I was like, we can't do this. Chickened out of cheating. Two months later, we saw it through. Face palm emoji.

I think the problem is there's so many hot people around. You're blaming hot people. Yeah. Someone said I chickened out and literally stormed out of the room I think the problem is that there's so many hot people around. You're blaming hot people. Yeah. Yeah. Someone said, I chickened out and, like, literally, like, stormed out of the room and, like, what am I doing? Took three steps down the hallway and then turned around and went back. Does that count? Hot.

Hot. So they still cheated? They still cheated, but they did chicken out. And then three seconds later, they unchickened out. That's hot. I like that they took three steps. They're, like, walking away from a hot person. Stop.

Yeah, yeah. Don't do it. Don't do it. Stop. Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back. Here's a juicy one. Anonymous plays happily married female for almost 10 years now,

but a few years ago, my bi curiosity got the better of me. And a co-worker who was also married at the time. Oh. We were exchanging raunchy Snapchats, and I was going to be out of town on business, so I decided to take some lingerie away with me and set up a wee FaceTime with her from my hotel room.

Ooh. We exchanged messages throughout the day before our planned FaceTime rendezvous, and both chickened out. Meanwhile, my husband had cleaned out my car and noticed that said lingerie was missing. Does this car just have lingerie willy-nilly in the glove box? Oh, gosh.

The emergency knickers. The emergency lingerie, yeah. The lingerie was missing and assumed I was out of town planning on cheating in person. Not the FaceTime cheat. Right. Not realising also their gender. But I mean, cheating's cheating. Yeah.

If we're eating, we're eating. If we're cheating, we're cheating. Yeah. And get that on a motivational poster. If we're eating, we're eating. If we're cheating, we're cheating. Yeah. And get that on a motivational poster. If we're eating, we're eating. If we're cheating, we're cheating. Yeah, if you're cheating, you're cheating. Put some horses behind that.

Yeah, if you're eating, you're eating. Maybe the horses could be eating. If you're eating, you're eating. If you're cheating, you're cheating. And there's another horse on top of another horse giving it to the horse and being like, we're cheating, we're cheating. That's not what the horse,

the other horse is eating. Not that it matters in the end about their gender, but it almost broke us up. Just the intention to cheat was scary enough. Three years later, stronger than ever, talked it through. Luckily, we've gotten past it. It's nice. God, since you've started opening up some of these stories,

the stories are coming out. Good, good, good. More, more, more, more, more. With duck shooting coming up this weekend, where is the story going? We're talking about chickening out of cheating. Oh my God, it's just love and a my-my. And chickens and ducks.

Is it a why-why or a my-my? A my-my. A my-my. With duck shooting coming up, what happens at duck shooting stays at duck shooting. I knew this bird. Not either the chicken or the duck that we previously discussed.

A third piece of poultry. We'd sleep together. Happened over two years. The third year we started seeing each other then got caught. Now I have a new partner so I guess it won't be

happening this year. But you're thinking about it. He's thinking about it. He's laughing face. You're thinking about it. Oh my God. Cheating in the... I know stuff goes

because my uncle does like duck shooting but it's just an excuse. He built like this lad's big playhouse basically. Yeah. And him and his mates just go down and drink and get away from the missus.

But yeah, it's just like a lad's weekend away. Right. A lady in the mo-mo. How do you know they're all not making love to you? I don't. Yeah. We don't. Okay.

Listen to this. Went to a girl's house after a night out. In a relationship. I'm in a relationship. Yeah. Went to a girl's house after a big night out and was fighting in my mind whether to go through with it or not. She went full Wolf of Wall Street on me,

came out of her room in lingerie and was like, why don't you come into the bedroom? Fighting, fighting, fighting in the mind. One of the hardest rejections I've ever given. But you did, you did, you did. Chickened out of cheating.

Chickened out of cheating. The relationship I was in didn't last, so I should have just done it. Oh. You're the better person. Yeah. You're the better person. Yeah. You're the bigger person. I was at a party and a guy was giving me a lot of attention

and doing some dirty dancing, if you know, you know. Bumping and grinding. He started kissing my neck and I nearly took him away to a room, backed out last second and just left the party immediately. Had to take myself out of the situation. Checking out a cheater. Go plunge in a cold pool.

Yeah. I used to shag this bird when I was young. Ah, shit. What a sentence. What a sentence. When Iag this bird when I was young. Ah, shit! What a sentence. When I was younger and then I moved away. When I moved back, she had a new partner and a kid. We got talking. She picked me up to get the deed done and as she came in for a kiss, I said, I can't do this. You have a family now.

Very awkward drive back because she'd pick me up but had to drop me off. You can have a ride back. Pretty just uber. Oh! Not a bad back. Probably just Uber. Oh. Not a bad idea. Hang on. I had a girl way out of my league slide into the DMs.

And I'm ashamed to say I succumbed to her flirtations a bit. We planned to meet up at a bar. But when I was about to leave the house, I came to my senses. I blocked her and I stayed at home. Took a really good long look in the mirror and realised I had made so many changes within myself. And I wasn't going to do it. Oh, I like this story. But they'd made plans.

Plans to meet up at a bar. You know what happens after you meet up at a bar. You go to another bar. And then you're like, well, the bars are closing. I've got wine at home. We're going to your house. Yeah. This is how I'm now getting married

next year. I chickened out of cheating. My partner had cheated, so I thought, I'll get him back by cheating on him. Oh, yeah. That's how it works, eh? Yeah, tip for tap. Tip for tap. It's a score. As long as it's even. It scales, right? As long as it's even on both sides. Yeah. You are right, though. The minute we actually started giving examples, people are like, I will

also cheat. Flooding. Yeah. We were naked in the spa. Oh my godda. Is the spa light on? You know the spa light's a weird light? You can kind of see some shadowy bits. And you kind of have to squint. Bobbly bits. Yeah, where's the nipple?

We were naked in the spa, but before anything happened, I chickened out and left. I left and I left and I just couldn't do it. Whose spa were you in? I hope it was their spa. And when you're getting out of the spa, are you seeing your rump? Yeah, and if it's awkward, you're kind of slipping. Because you've got to go on all fours out of a spa. You don't want to slip.

Are you going to throw a leg over? It's very hard to get out of a spa sexually. Sexy, yeah. My husband and I were going through a rough patch and he was staying at his dad's. My high school crush was texting me telling me he'd always wanted me and still thought about me 15 years after high school. He wanted to come over and finish what he'd started back in the day. Wait, had he peaked in high school though?

Or did he get better? I chickened out and stopped replying and blocked him. The ego boost wasn't worth losing my family. You got the ego boost, right? Yep. You got the ego boost. I know, but when you're texting, your mind's going, oh yeah, man, what if he was the one?

Yeah. An ex of mine from a few years ago. We're still friends. Lately, there's been flirting, and I'm thinking about it, but every time it gets heated, I think of his daughter. Oh, yeah. He's got a kid. Right, okay.

It's your mother, Leanne. Man, I love these stories. I love people being honest. Yeah, wow. This is a juicer. He's a juicer. It's a juicer? We've got a juicer on our hands.

We've got a full juicer on our hands. Juicy little juicer. All right. Fact of the day is next. All this week. It's public transport week. Yeah, what have you got for us today? I can't remember.

All right, we'll find out. You've got one song to figure it out. Oh, yes, I've got a great one for you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day, it's public transport week. It's the oldest continually running form of public transport in the world. On record. It never turns off.

It's never not been a route for public transport. The Wilton 14 in Wellington. What's the Wilton 14? It's a bus route. Ah. in Wellington. What's the Wilton 14? It's a bus route. Oh. Is it a route or like a bus or a cable car or a tram or something?

It's a ferry. A ferry. So the ferry itself has changed, but the... Staten Island. No. Days Bay. Way before the US was...

Oh. So to be... Is it in the US? No, it's not in the US. Is it in the... China. It's not in China. Because that's what I was like, when I found this, I was like, there's got to be, is it in the US? No, it's not in the US. Is it in the US? China. It's not in China. Because that's what I was like, when I found this, I was like, there's got to be an older

one in China, but I couldn't find like. Right. Yeah. Is it in Britain? They had not staked a claim. It's in Britain. It's in Britain. Right.

It's in Britain. Is it a ship? It was established in 1150. Ooh. In 1150? What a silly year. Is it in London? No, it's not.

Is it in Liverpool? Yes, it is. Oh, you got there. It's the Mersey Ferry. The Mersey. It operates on the River Mersey. We've been on this ferry. We've been on this ferry.

And it is the one we've been on. Paul and I go on holidays together sometimes. I can't wait to be invited. It's quite cute. Oh. So it was started by the monks They used to charge a small fee to row passengers across the river Good old monks

From the Benedictine Priory Good old monks Priory Yeah, it was considerably wider than what it is now It's because of sand dunes and marshes and stuff Before it became like a full-blown city that is But the route is the same It's the same route since 1150 where it was rowboats.

It's been steam ferries. It's been, I mean, before steam ferries, it was like larger rowboats and then it was sail. But the problem with the sail was wouldn't always work because the wind would drastically change. Oh, no. It's just not. We're going back.

We're going back to the port. We're not going to make this work. Then, of course, it was steam ferries and then diesel. And as it is at the moment, yeah, it's diesel, but there are plans for it to become like an electric ferry service. Yeah, right. And then no signs of stopping the route. No, apparently it's never stopped.

Yeah. Amazing. It's always been going. Even during the wars, it would go. It's never stopped since 1150, apparently. So it's the oldest continually running public service, public transport service in the world, is a ferry that goes across the Mersey.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I'm busy. I'm busy at the moment. You always have something on the go. I'm always on the go. I'm busy. Do you know what? It's Comedy Fest kind of officially kicked off last night.

Seven Days Live, Comedy Fest special. That's going to be on TV tonight. Tonight, 7.30. Basement preview show is always a great night. And then tomorrow it's the Auckland Gala, Wellington Gala, and then the shows roll out. And I've got a show. Book tickets for it.

There's still some tickets left, Wild Flutters. You can go to comedyfestival.co.nz. Thank you. Auckland and Wellington? Auckland and Wellington. And everyone's like, what about Christchurch? I haven't forgotten about you, but just not for Comedy Fest. Anyways.

Coming soon. Coming soon. Coming soon. I've been making my show and go home and writing things in the garage, on the piano, script things. And Aaron, who used to work in the theatre, said to me, where are you at with the show? Bearing in mind it starts in a week. He put on his theatre director's hat.

Yeah. I'll say he'd come in hot week. He put on his theatre director's hat. Yeah. I'll say he'd come in hot after a couple of tequilas. Okay. And a boy. He was loose-lipped and feeling creative. And I said, look, I'll be working up till opening. I'll definitely be working right up till the show opens. I said, but I'm not sure.

He's like, well, where are you at structurally? And like, how many days have you got? What have you got coming up? And you're just working on the show. I said, no, I'm going to Wellington three times and I've got this and this and this. He was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. So we sat down, another tequila. And he mapped my life.

I thought he was sitting down to sort of like help me with the creative side of the show. That was not even a big part of it at all. Aaron sat there with a pen and paper and was like, wrote out a Monday to Friday, Monday to Friday, Monday to Friday, all the way up to opening. You know, there's these things called calendars. Not in Aaron's life. Aaron doesn't use a calendar. Aaron doesn't use his phone.

He doesn't use his phone. He doesn't use online anything, he doesn't use online anything He uses bits of scrap paper or like house plans and writes on the back of them and leaves them around and then is like where's that one that had this on it and he sat there and he went right okay, Monday the 6th

what have you got? I was like okay I've got an interview after work and then I've got a Zoom call at 3 other than that, and he like wrote out this thing, I've got an appointment here, I've got an interview after work and then I've got a Zoom call at three. Other than that, and he like wrote out this thing. I've got an appointment here. I've got a thing.

You can lose that. Do you know what he even put in? A blowout. Oh, wow. He put in a blowout. He scheduled my blowout. Yeah. He saw a potential,

a brewing of a second blowout in there and he said, you can't afford to be doing that. So he's put the kibosh on a blowout that involves you guys. Unbelievable. That's fine. I know. So one of our blowouts has been...

It's been blown out. I've been told. It's been held to just a dinner and then go home. On the night that we were going to have a blowout in Wellington, the three of us, or the six of us actually. Oh no, it's just the three of us. I've actually been given a bedtime of 7pm that day. He has scheduled

my bedtimes, my nap times, my blowout. For like the next three weeks. My recovery time from the blowout. Has he scheduled you to play with yourself in the hotel? Sometimes that can take a little longer than expected. Oh, you're away, you know, you're away. Oh, come on. What? What are we just going

and putting down our bags and having a shower and going to sleep? Who are you fooling? You know when you get to a hotel and you meet down in the lobby in 20 minutes? And I'm like,

25? For Alan Smith. Not in a hotel. Not in a hotel. I live in a hustle bustle household. This is peace and quiet, me. This is how you live every day. It's been scheduled.

Nobody else is excited about a hotel. The answer is yes, that's been scheduled. Naps have been scheduled. And then all my show things have been scheduled. Script you by this point. Running lines on this thing. By the way, in the Kuru Lounge, I've got things scheduled when we go to Wellington.

I'm scheduled. So he's done your whole life. He's like, what time are you getting off radio? What time's your flight? You've got an hour there in the Kauru lounge. What are you going to do? I was like, I'll probably just talk shit with the boys. You know?

Maybe we'll have a glass of bubbles. He's like, no, you're not. Learning lines. Wow. Do you know what? You know what? Is that a little bit hot? It was hot.

And I was on the cusp of being like, I'm going to spiral. I'm not ready. And he felt it. And he dealt with it. And now I'm like, he's got a plan. He's a ready. And he felt it and he dealt with it and now I'm like, he's got a plan. He's a professional. See you opening night. Because if you were in the wrong mood, you couldn't put this on someone.

I'd be like, back up. What are you doing when I'm doing all this? Oh no, none of that. That's what I'd yell. The man's holding down the house. He's a good boy. I even said, oh we're going to record our cocktail special here. And he said, okay, that's news to me. I said, yeah, I forgot to tell you that we're all coming over and we're going to

drink. That's the blowout that he scheduled. And he said, all right, so what needs to be done for that? I said, you've got to put the Christmas tree up. I was like, what? Frantic woman who's got everything going on in her life and then you believe she may be having some sort of psychotic breakdown

because she wants the Christmas tree up in May. I think we need to record this at my place. You don't need the stress. Aaron's doing it. Aaron's going to put the kai bosh. Aaron's doing the Christmas tree up. I love that he's putting the kai bosh. And he said, what else do you need from me for this?

And I said, espresso martinis. And he said, I'm on it. Okay. He's done your whole life. He's organised everything. He's given me a half day the next morning to recover and then you're straight into landing lines

and then I'm in the garage playing the piano it's fantastic I encourage you if you are in a stressful period of your life and you have someone

that could do this for you relinquish control because now I'm cruising man I'm on a plane because you can guide it it sounded like you were guiding it and he was locking it down I told him exactly

the facts and he laid it out for me. And now I'm getting my nails done at 12. I'm having a nap for an hour before that. And then I'm working on my show till seven and then it's bedtime. Maybe we need to check in in a week and just see how strictly you're sticking to all of that. We shall do that. Okay.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, there was a story yesterday online from TechRadar, a few websites, tech websites yesterday, saying that Netflix, their basic tier plan, this is an overseas, they would be switching from June 4 from the basic tier to standard with ads plan. Now, they did mention Australia, but they have since, as an editor's note, from the basic tier to standard with ads plan.

Now, they did mention Australia, but they have since, as an editor's note, saying that Australia isn't going to be part of that. So that would mean New Zealand's not going to be a part of that. Because there was no mention of New Zealand. And we don't have... We don't have the ad one. We don't know, but they are planning on bringing it in. Yeah, right.

Because our basic is good video quality. So 720, not 1080. but they are planning on bringing it in. Yeah, right. Because our basic is good video quality, so 720, not 1080. And the ad-free download on one device. 720 was as good as it got. Yeah, I know, 480. So that's our basic, but then that's no ads yet that was coming.

So standard is better quality, not 4K, 1080. Two devices. I think people just say 1080 not 4K, 1080. Two devices. I think people just say 1080. No one says 1080. I've never said it out loud, I've just realised. 1080. Yeah.

Right. Because they emailed out to a lot of customers in the US saying that, yeah, you'll be switching over from the basic tier to ads, but you'll get a better quality, but you'll have ads. I don't want ads, but I do pay $28 a month for Netflix. I guess that's it. But yeah, but that's the thing.

If you pay more, you don't get ads. You don't get ads and you get the spatial audio and you have 4K and all that. But yeah, no comment from Netflix officially about what's happening in other countries

in other countries at this time. But yeah. Baby Reindeer, I'm just on Netflix now. Baby Reindeer is still number one on the top 10 TV shows In New Zealand today Yeah that's an absolute ride

That show The real life stalker lady Is out of herself completely I know I saw that She said she's an incredible lawyer too Did you see her comments Like exactly

Yeah and the spellings As crazy as it was In the show I know Like you're just like Oh get some help Yeah Honestly

Oh interesting Okay Yeah but that's It's crazy how it's all gone Kind of back To just TV Just like, oh, get some help. Yeah. Honestly. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, but it's crazy how it's all gone kind of back to just TV. It's like TV. Yeah, it's like. What we're seeing here is TV. We left TV with all the ads to Netflix and all the streamers. And we were like, take our money instead of the ads.

And now it's kind of coming back and we're getting ads. Paying for something with ads that we used to get for free. Yeah, it's... It's such a strange, eh? But we're sort of moving forward in the world. Now we're technologically back. Yeah, actually, are we going back or is this a circle? We're going round and round.

We're being looped around. Man. Huh. Huh. Hmm. Interesting. Wow. Huh. Hmm. Interesting. Wow. Here's some ads.

Here's some ads. Oh. I just heard your tummy go. Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Ah, not for me. Oh, okay.

Nowhere even close. No, nowhereughan. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?