ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 2nd November 2023

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Secret Pools of Auckland  Vaughan V Flies  Top 6: Pals Flavours  What did you lose immediately?  Silly Little Poll!  Christchurch Monopoly  Hayley has a Toilet! Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley, two minutes past six. You're just airing out your wet Britney book. Still wet and I've got to finish it today. I've promised this to people.

No one wants to read your... Soggy ass, swollen book. Yeah, I think if somebody promised me a book and then it got soaked in water, I'd be like, don't worry about it.

You're all good, I'll just buy it myself. I'll just buy it, yeah. God, I had a shower downstairs before work. Pause for applause. This is like something all of us

do every day, you know, right? That's not a big deal. Oh, it was delightful. I'm clean. Is that why you're wearing white? Yeah, I know. That's not a big deal. Oh, it was delightful. I'm clean. Is that why you're wearing white? Yeah, because I was like, if I was wearing white yesterday, it would go yellow. Well, you got a toilet yesterday.

I did. For the first time. Do you get a shower today? We get the shower glass in today. But then we're going to wait for the tylers to come back, silicone, let it set. Then we're good. You're not going to know yourself.

I know. Baby. Coming up on the show, the it sit. We're good. You're not going to know yourself. I know. Baby. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, Pals is releasing new flavours for summer. And I will say they're going a little bit further away than their traditional flavours. Yeah, right. Okay. So I've got the top six other Pals flavours we need for summer.

And also, I had a pool inspection yesterday. My fence. It must be nice. a pool inspection yesterday. My fence. It must be nice. It is. It's really nice. Especially in summer. It's absolutely to die for. Yeah.

But I got talking to the dude that does the pool inspections. He was like me. I looked at him and I was like, I see me in about 30 years. Yeah, right. He would be a pool inspector, actually. The nosiest person.

I always want to know what's happening down driveways. Chew people's ears off and they'll be like, God, I can't get away from this guy. He told me a really interesting fact about Auckland and pools and I will share it with you soon.

Is it interesting, though? Yeah, it is quite interesting. You know it, do you? I know it. Okay. Yeah, me and Vaughn have a private chat. We organise things to do on the show that don't involve you. Wow.

Wow. Are you trying to drive a wedge here? Is this what's happening? Hayley wants a pool. And I've got a pool. We're the pool club. We're the pool club. You can't have a pool.

I can't have a pool. You can't have a pool. You go and swim in a gross public pool. And we... Full of band-aids and turds. Actually, I did see a plaster. And pubic hair. I did see a plaster the other day

and then the pool was full. It was one of those ones that you cut yourself so it was like real manky and big. Somehow it's worse. That's real old too because those don't come off easy. I know. Those things are really adhesive. I know. We'll get into the pool facts soon but next on the show...

How many days to Christmas now? Less than 50 probably. You want me to bring up my Christmas clock.com. Oh, yes, please. We should actually have that on the clock. Counting down. God, they're instantly on the clock. It's in a shit today, eh? Yeah.

52 days away from Christmas. 52 days. Oh, my God. So we've got a payday tomorrow. Yeah. And then, so how many more paydays till Christmas? Oh, no, don't do that. Yeah, like this is...

Let me open up a calendar. It's getting down... I'm not doing any gifts. I thought we were doing... You lucky bastard. No, we're doing Secret Santa. We're doing a Secret Santa with a budget of $20, not to don't do that. Yeah, like this is... Let me open up a calendar. I'm not doing any gifts. I thought we were doing... You lucky bastard. No, we're doing Secret Santa. We're doing a Secret Santa with a budget of $20 not to be pooped. So are we including tomorrow's payday?

One payday, two paydays, three paydays. Say more paydays. What? Goddamn month change. One payday, two paydays, three paydays, four paydays. Okay. Four paydays. Four paydays until Christmas.

So if you're fortnightly, that's crazy. And if you're weekly, you've got what about eight? That's crazy. We sound like a coach again. That's crazy. If you get paid fortnightly, that's crazy. Well, with Christmas on the way, thank God Gwyneth Paltrow, on behalf of Goop, has released her Christmas buying, guys.

This will be ridiculous get your bloody MX's on the ready because you won't be able to afford any of it I'm so stoked with what just happened I asked the boys with Christmas on the way because I've got my Christmas decorations hiding in my boot from my boyfriend I've got them ready to go

and then I just was looking at this Christmas list and it sent me in a little bit of a Christmas wave. And I was like, do you think that I should get a Christmas wreath? Am I the kind of house that will have a Christmas wreath on the door? And you guys said yes. I think on the front door of your cottage

would look real cute. Because it's a little cottage. It's a little Christmas cottage. And maybe some fairy lights across the little porch. Oh my God, I'm a Christmas house. Well, Gwyneth Palt. And maybe some fairy lights across the little porch. Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm a Christmas house. Well, Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop catalogue is out for Christmas. Do they, does she have a wreath in there? You bloody wish, mate.

What, who does she make this for? It's almost like she's making it to be controversial. Did she talk, she's talked about this before. She's just kind of having a laugh, right? She calls it the ridiculous but awesome 2023 gift guide. Yeah. You know something's expensive when she's saying there are some portraits of nature,

butterfly fancy yellow earrings. You go, how much? And it's like price on request. Oh, wow. You know something when it's POA or POR that you're like, whoa, that's unbelievable. Yeah.

Backgammon, are you guys like a bit of Backgammon? So I've never played it, but I am aware it's a very style-y looking game to have about. Yeah, with the little triangles. Well, you could get

the Poppies and Crane Backgammon set for only $14,580. What is it made of? Your child's soul. Fantastic. There's a bracelet worth $29,000. There's an island rental in Fiji on Turtle Island. Now, that's only $40,000 a night.

Minimum three nights stay. What? Turtle Island, Fiji. Could you imagine spending that much money? Like, even if I had that much money and I was a bajillionaire. She's been a dick, eh? Hand-painted tulip vase. I like vases.

16K. Seven-day airship cruise to the North Pole. I'd love to go. An airship cruise? Price upon request. Airship? What, like in a blimp? Yeah, dude. Oh, no, I'm not going in a blimp.

You've got some captain up the front He's like Oh my god There's a Parmesan Reggiano Now I love Parmesan Especially the authentic stuff Are you talking about A wheel

Yeah A whole wheel of cheese No sorry Looking at it It is butter wedge my friend Okay It is butter wedge Now that has been aged.

Where is it? I just lost you, Parmesan. That's been aged for 24 months. Okay, two years. That's $396. Is there anything on Gwyneth Paltrow's goop list for our Secret Santa, like $20? The cheapest thing is $120. $120. No, not happening then. Not happening. Well, there's price point requests, so you don't know. Some of those could is $120. $120.

No, not happening then. Not happening. Well, there's price upon request, so you don't know some of those could be $20. The cheapest thing is a magic show tickets. To who? A magic show tickets to Assy Wins in a circle. But the thing that's really caught my attention here is the Inez 24 karat gold G-spot vibrator.

Of course that's caught your attention. $15,000. $15,000. Wait, how much is a Satisfying Pro 2? Cheap. Oh, $80. Okay, right. Cheaper.

When I saw the price, I was like, that's affordable. Oh, this is Lilo. Can't we put a price on a good orgasm? Lilo is expensive. It's a really nice brand. Like, their vibrators look like works of art. Right. This one is 24 carat solid gold.

And the vagina knows it. Does it? And when I say 15,000, that's US. Oh, wow. The vagina goes, that's under 12. Chef's kiss. Chef's kiss. That's not even gold. Is this hollow in the middle? Is this hollow in the middle? Wow, okay. The vagina goes, that's only 12. Chef's kiss. Chef's kiss.

That's not even gold. Is this hollow in the middle? Is this hollow in the middle? Look at it. It doesn't even have a little. Oh, it's nice. That's a nice case. Is it?

It's a nice box that it comes in. That's a nice case. Yeah, but if it's 24 karat gold, it's not doing much, is it? Doesn't have it. Oh, you're saying it's not. not doing much, is it? It doesn't have a... Oh, you're saying it's not... It's not whirling around. It doesn't have a little rabbit bit. That's $25,000 New Zealand dollars.

Because you're worth it. Do you know, I just looked up that Turtle Island that was so expensive and there was a Herald article from earlier this year where Jenny Mortimer, who works works here upstairs at the Herald said why Turtle Island Fiji's exclusive $19,000 private island

is worth every cent. It's not. Do you know what it is? A university education. A deposit on a home. Worth every cent. Hey, by the way. But Jenny wouldn't have paid

a dime for it. She would have gone on a publicity tour. Exactly. So for her it was worth every cent. Hey, by the way. But Jenny wouldn't have paid a dime for it. She would have gone on a publicity tour. Yeah, exactly. And so for her it was worth every cent. Living the life. It's not solid gold. So for $25,000. Of course it's not solid gold.

It's stainless steel. Yeah, oh, right. Go to Peaches and Cream. The vagina would know. Get yourself a vibrator. Go to Mitre 10. Get yourself a can of gold spray paint. No, don't do that.

Oh, no, I wouldn't be doing that. Don't listen to her. Hayley's hot tips. Don't listen to her. I don't even own one. I know it's a terrible idea. For a hot, horny Christmas. That's a terrible idea.

Do not put spray paint anywhere near in or on. You're going to have some kind of deposit. Oh, it'll be fine. Let it dry properly. Let it dry down. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Let it dry down. Oh, don't be fine. Let it dry properly. Let it dry down. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Let it dry, Hayley. Oh, don't be a prude.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I want to say when we moved into our house, the pool was already there because I have always said we wouldn't put in a pool because I'd grow up, luckily, we had a real budget pool, but Dad built a deck around like an above-ground pool. One of those para-pools. Oh, yeah, cute.

Yeah, that's good stuff. It's real Kiwi, that is. Yeah. And we had asbestos walling around. Classic of those para pools. Oh yeah, cute. Yeah, that's good stuff. That's real Kiwi, that is. And we had asbestos walling around. Classic. It was wild and it was always cold, even in the height of summer. And we never worked out why. And I think it was because it was all exposed underneath and it was metal and the wind blew underneath

so it kept it cold. Right. It was never a warm pool. And then the neighbours got a nice pool, like an in-ground, like kidney-shaped pool. Oh, the kidney bean. Salt water. Must be nice. Very nice. So I was always like, I will never put in a pool because we didn't use it nearly enough for how much work Dad had to put into it. Yeah, I've never

had a pool. We didn't grow up with a pool. But I also grew up in Wellington where it wasn't that warm. There were three days of the year. Three days non-heated pool. So the pool was already there when we moved in. Yep. And I take great care in the pool.

Consider yourself a man of the people. I'm a man of the people. Yeah. I moved into a place with a pool. Oh, the pool was forced upon him. Yeah. I would have said, I asked them to remove the pool when we bought it,

but they wouldn't do it. Are you taking the pool with you? He said to the previous owners. No, it's in ground base. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. And they continued to play the victim.

And you have to get in Auckland. Sorry, teaspoon. Teaspoon. I hated that sound. I hated that. He hears there's too much milk. I like a lot of milk.

I'm pretty sure it's around New Zealand but you have to get your pool fence inspected every three years. That's a thing. So yesterday was pool inspection day. It was actually supposed to be the day before,

but due to Auckland Council's terrible records, they went to our old house and were like, there's not even any pool here. Let alone us. Rolls eyes. So then yesterday the guy rings, he's like, I'm here to inspect the pool. I was like, come on down.

So I opened my electric gate, man of the people. And it's a nice gate. The gate itself is shit. They didn't use the right word for the gate. Again, I was forced to take this electric gate. It was forced onto you, yeah. So then the pool inspection begins.

And I can tell this old mate, I said before we had a little bit of a connection. We both love a yarn. One-on-one, you know, I don't like a group of people, but I don't mind a chat. And I said, oh, how many pools have you done today? And he's like, couldn't tell you. So many.

That's like asking the uber driver how busy you just started have you just started are you about to finish are you in for a big one yeah he said there are 15 full-time fence inspectors on auckland council's staff and i said jeez the bloody mayor will have that down and he laughed and i laughed yep okay good and then i said how many pools are there and he said there are there are 32,000 registered pools in Auckland. And that's when I said, man of the people. I would have thought it would have been way more. More?

32,000? We're a town of one million, aren't we? One and a half. One and a half million. Yeah, but. But we're also tightly crammed in. There's not a lot of property with. Yeah.

It's dense space. It's quite dense. Okay. Anyway, I said, wow, that's more than I would have thought. And he said, do you know what else? Recently, they put like this AI program over Google Maps and found 8,000 more. I was like, I beg your pardon? What?

And he said, yeah, there's all these people with like unregistered pools. Because you can get a pool, no problem. Right. Up to a certain leaderage. But every pool must have a fence. Oh, but fences are so ugly. They're so ugly. Like, you know when people put...

You want an infinity pool, but then you've got to put a hedge or something. I know. You can't have an infinity pool, but it's got to be literally over a cliff. So the cliff itself is the fence. So kids can't climb up into it. You've got to have a wide, you can have the fence further away.

Yeah. The area must be fenced. Right. Okay. So yeah, he said this program went over Google Maps and was like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And he's like, heaps of people are like, no, it was a tarpaulin. You knock on their front door. A tarpaulin.

I was airing out my tarpaulin. Yeah. And he said, but there has been a couple of cases where it literally was. Google Maps took the photo on the day that someone had a tarpaulin out. Or a tent. Yeah, yeah. He said like a tent. You could have like a tent.

A gazebo, a blue gazebo. You could have a blue roofed gazebo. Weird choice for a gazebo colour. Yeah, they're mostly white, aren't they? Or green. So that's what he said. They're going around now like knocking on doors, being like, oh, hey, we're here to inspect So that's what he said. They're going around now knocking on doors, being like, oh, hey, we're here to inspect the pool.

And he said, you just see people just being like, how did you know? How did you know? What pool? How did you know? But come on, we know. This thing that you can see from the sky. You can literally, we could go and find it now.

He said there's a guy, the longest one he found, he's found a guy who's owned a property for 29 years and the pool's been there the entire time and he's never been inspected once. He said he bought the property with the pool because he's just an everyday guy. Yeah, just like you. It was forced upon him.

He didn't choose the pool life. The pool life chose him. And had the guy had a proper fence and stuff? No fence. What? And he was like, I'm not putting a fence up. Well, that's what he said it's a very serious thing

it's not like people are like but I don't have kids he's like but you are telling me there will never be a child on this property also children break into properties

well hopefully not yeah that's the thing they break into they break in and they go oh my god they've got a pool let's go for a swim and then drown

yeah and it's on you yeah it's so crazy they're using like Google and AI. I was like, that's exciting. He's like, yeah, it was quite an exciting day. Quite an exciting day at the office. 8,000 people right now shitting themselves.

Thank God you're above board, honestly. Yeah. I don't want to be hanging out with a criminal, a pool criminal. I'm a man of the people. If nothing else has been established now. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I should do a Hayley's version of smooth criminal, pull criminal.

That'd be great. I don't know. The ideas are sparking. Take that to the workbench and just see what comes of it. You've been hipper, a poor criminal. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Stephen Sanchez.

Someone write a song over three minutes, please. We are in the middle of outdoor table chat. Hang on. We're just talking about outdoor tables and Stephen Sanchez is like, I'm done. God, all these songs here, they're two minutes. Yeah. And then people are like, stop talking and play more music. We are playing as much as we can. I was just saying those glass tables.

Outdoor glass tables. Outdoor glass tables. Every time you're drinking, you put a glass down and you slam it. You're just like, oh, that was close. Because one day I'm going to go through one of these glass tables. What you need is a nice neoprene bottle holder. Oh, beautiful.

It's lovely for my beautiful glasses. Do you know, we had one of those in a flat and we were like, this glass is invincible. Yeah. With this flat of lads. This glass, we went to move and we picked it up and it just twisted slightly And it went Because it's a safety glass

Yeah It shatters It took so harding But the minute it slightly twisted She was over Well that's what we talk about While the songs are playing Yeah

Should I buy an outdoor table Chlorophobia Chlorophobia How's that spelled C-O-U-L-R-O Oh yeah Phobia Chloro Chlorophobia. Chlorophobia. How's that spelled? C-O-U-L-R-O. Oh, yeah. Phobia.

Chloro. Chlorophobia. Is the fear of clowns. Which I believe, Carween, you suffer or experience. Yeah, they're scary. Which is the scariest clown? All of them. A purposely scary clown or like a clown that's trying to be like a traditional 1930s circus clown. Yeah, those ones are creepy.

Yeah, they are creepy. I used to collect clowns. Why? Like little like clown dolls when I was a kid. Why? And I had this little round chair and they used to sit there. So I had like porcelain faces, you know, like soft, soft bodies. No, that's gross.

What is it? Can you define? Because like I've got a phobia. Say it. Because I'm feeling edgy. But I can't. We don't say that word. Oh, I'm moving the air thing. Say it. Because I'm feeling edgy. But I can't. We don't say that word. Oh, I'm moving the air thing.

Yeah, what word are we not saying? Don't say it. I can't distinguish what it is about. One flew on the inside of my sunglasses yesterday. I will kick you in the tits. I can't identify. Can you just block yours? Because we'll just say for the listeners,

Hayley doesn't like moths. That's what she's talking about. I was having a drink outside yesterday and one flew on the inside of my sunglasses and I was like, there's a moth on the inside of my sunglasses. And Shade's like, how are you so calm about it?

It's just a moth. It was just dusting up. She was freaking out. I know. Okay, we're done. Is it because they're flowering and dusty? That doesn't help. I'll kick you in the dick.

But I can't pinpoint the reason why I find them scary. Can you go, this is why I don't like clowns? No, I don't know. I think that they're too happy. Is it it, the movie? No, I've never seen that. Really? Okay, because it was a miniseries or movie back in the day,

and then they remade it, and that's kind of what people think causes people to have a clown phobia, but it's not. In general, not. Scientists have done a big study on it in the US and they've tried to figure out why 5% of people are afraid of clowns. Oh my god, I'm special. You're not alone.

Oh my god, Han, special. It's one of the highest fears, right? I'm going to Google most popular fears. Public speaking's number one, I think. And then heights. For professional public speakers, that makes me feel superior. You figure out what the... Spiders, snakes, heights, flying, dogs, thunder and lightning,

injections, social interactions, agoraphobia, and mysophobia, which is the intense flow of germs. Imagine you're on a plane, there's a spider, snake, and a clown sitting next to you. And a moth. Ah! What if the clown was just a spider? A spider clown?

Shut up. A spider on a snake's shoulders wearing a spider clown. Shut up. On a snake's shoulders wearing a clown suit with a moth face sitting next to you in the seat. We're just dropping M-bombs willy nilly. And the plane hits turbulence. And then the spider is like, do you want an injection?

Why is it the spider clown? That was my spider clown voice. Do you want an injection? Well, these scientists looked into it, and they were like, most commonly, people were asked about famous clowns like Pennywise or the likes, and they were like, nah, that's not really it. I mean, they wouldn't watch it.

Yeah. But they already don't like them because of that. Also, very little did people have a traumatic experience. Like a birthday party when you were younger? Yeah, and then you saw them shagging your mum in the back while your dad was... Something like that. None of that's to do with it.

What they kind of boiled it down to, like one intriguing reason they came to, is that you can't tell you can't tell what a clown is thinking. Because they've got it painted on smile. Yeah. You can't get a reen on the clown so that just

instantly you're just like, nope, don't want to know. Where's the clown looking? What's he thinking? They're painted on smile or frown because at drama school we do a bit of classic clown. You're either a do a bit of classic clown. Yeah. You're either a happy clown or a sad clown.

Now I was Sad clowns are funnier. Yeah, the sad clown usually they're in pairs and they'll work and the sad clown's the funnier one and he plays that

anyway. Just looking into the theory of it. But because they're either smiling or frowning like that's but you can see in their eyes something else going on but you don't know what it is.

Aaron went to clown school it's kind of not called clown school but yeah in France in France I just learnt that France is like the last bastion

of the clown being like a funny entertainer the clown that kind of French clown is not like blowing balloons and stuff but they're a physical comedy yeah

physical comedy culture oh right like stand up comedians in French, everyone just looks at them and is just like, I can appreciate that you've got a well-crafted joke there. But then a clown comes on and does a wicked roly-poly

and they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Oh, wonderful. I didn't know this about the French. Lots of world-class comedians went to the school. Sacha Baron Cohen went to the school that Aaron went to. And comedians go because you learn the sort of subtleties of the fine art of happy clown, sad clown.

And it's really intelligent. Anyway, that's one of the reasons. You can't read what their face is saying. Almost like a woman with Botox. Also terrifying. Let's talk flies Because summer's here baby You are like I feel like mums and aunties

My auntie hates flies My mum I come from a long line of women Who take flies very personally Yeah Shut the doors How dare they come into this house Oh we grew up with fly screens

Yeah My parents still have a fly screen in the background. We never had them. They're ugly, but goddamn, they work. It's great having debris coming through the house without the flies and the mozzies. Because otherwise you get yelled at by mum. Even when you go home at Christmas

and you're a grown adult, shut the door, the flies will get them. I'm my own man. I think the first time I saw my parents tell off one of their grandchildren was when my sister's kid put his finger through the fly screen. You do want to poke those, though.

Yeah. Have you picked the bitter, I think? What have you done that for? Now the bloody flies are going to find that one little hole and get in. I need a better fly solution. Here's why. Those little machines, the minute you open your house, terrible. You're just putting those out into the neighborhood.

Yeah, right. You know, that's just flowing straight out the window. No good. And they seem to run out super quick. Yeah. And they're expensive as hell. Yeah, they are. Even the cheap ones are super expensive.

Electric fly swatters. Those are fine. You know, you've got to walk around. That's a lot of manual chasing flies around. I've got a tea towel that'll do that. I've got a special tea towel and I just whack them and it blows them to bits and their guts goes on the window

and their shadow's like, for God's sake. Oh, yuck. So that's not my ideal solution either. Too much manual involved. Okay. I've never been a flypaper guy because it's nasty.

What's flypaper? You put a bit of sticky flypaper up with some fly pheromones on it and the fly's like, I'll have it. And then they stuck to it. Like a horny piece of paper. Horny paper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The paper's like, hey, big boy, why don't you buzz on over here? And he's like, I'm going to spew on you and then eat it again. And then they get stuck to it. Imagine if they had those for humans. They do. Horny paper. Yeah.

And then you just get stuck to it because you're just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm stuck. Fletch calls. Oh, my God, help me. I'm stuck to the paper. I'm stuck to it because you're just like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm stuck. Fletch calls. Oh, my God, help me. I'm stuck. I'm stuck to the paper again. Now, there's a porn that writes itself.

A little naughty film. I'm all dressed up as a fly and I'm like, bzz, bzz, bzz. That's not sexy. And it's like, come over here, fly girl. And I'm like, bzz, bzz. That was the most. Help, I'm stuck. Unbelievable part about the classic sci-fi film The Fly with Jeff Goldblum.

Oh my God, so good. It starts becoming a fly because he invents a teleporting machine and then a fly jumps in the other one. But the most unbelievable part of it is human women find him irresistible when he's a little fly-like. Really? I'd never sleep with a fly, personally. That'd be right down my list of insects I'd sleep with.

I wouldn't even know where to start. Pregnantus. Oh, no, they look weird. They bite your head off at the end, but you know it's going to be a good time on the way out. Hell yeah. Stick insect. What about those cute caterpillars that turn into monarch butterflies? Oh yeah, but the way they hump. Yeah. The way they're like this.

When they walk, they've got the groove. That's good stuff. My in-laws got their house sprayed. You can get the walls this Oh yeah they've got the groove When they walk They've got the groove They've got the groove Yeah That's good stuff My in-laws got their house sprayed You can get the walls Oh yeah I know people That have done this Yes they spray the deck

And everything Even outside Yeah Because they lived near Like a little thing What's that stuff though Is that a That feels carcinogenic

It doesn't feel like It's a good idea It doesn't feel right does it It doesn't feel like Spraying your home With deadly poison Is a great idea No But maybe It must be safe Must be Like so many people do it I'm sure It doesn't feel right, does it? It doesn't feel like spraying your home with deadly poison is a great idea.

But maybe it must be safe. Must be. Like so many people do it. I'm sure. Fly control services from Bug King. I don't want... My mate Mark loves those zappers where the fly... Or the mozzies fly into them and then they go... They're like butchery's had in the 80s or 90s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those little lights. And then you can smell it after a while, the smell of cooked insect. He loves sitting outside and listening like he's in a Louisiana bayou. You've just turned into an absolute boomer. I think I might try flypaper.

Because then you just I saw one last night, it was like a dispenser. You roll it down and they all get stuck and then you tear it off and you take it out and the chickens eat the flies. That's not going to go with the Scandi aesthetic, is it? No, that's not Scandi, unfortunately. What are they doing in Scandinavia to get rid of flies? There's no flies, it's too cold.

Oh my God, let's move there. Why? Because it's too cold. No. So you can get the outside of your house sprayed so that they don't even want to come in. Okay. But then if I open the doors, are they going to run the gauntlet? Entry points and walls connected to the kitchen, dining and living areas. Maybe it's time to come in. Okay, but then if I open the doors, are they going to run the gauntlet? Entry points and walls connected to the kitchen,

dining and living areas. Maybe it's time to go underground. Just dig a hole and put your whole house underground. It's an idea. And then just enter into a little bunker door. Yeah. Do you have worms when you're underground? Are they the underground colony of flies, though?

Well, you just leave your windows shut and they don't get in. I don't know. Someone said a bugger salt gun. I got given a bugger salt gun. It's the ones where you shoot salt around your house. Two things. The salt clogs almost immediately because of how humid Auckland is. Oh, yeah, okay.

And it's gross having like grains of salt around your house. I don't care what they say in that targeted advertising. You literally can see and feel salt all around your house. Would that be good for fish and chips? Can you salt your fish and chips like that? You can reuse it. Don't waste salt. It would be great. Boom, boom, boom. I'm a barbecue if you were trying to salt something as you cooked it. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Carwin, send me the, who had the story on the Powell's flavours? I just wrote a funny list.

Yeah, I've got it. Do you? New Powell's flavours. God damn, Vaughan. I just did the New York Times and New York Times connections over that very short song and then I completely forgot about getting it.

So how about you do your job? Yeah, I should do my job. How about you do your job? Yeah, I should do my job. How about you do your job? So they released their beige ones. What flavour was beige? Beige. Well, these are the new Pals flavours. Classic Margarita.

Yum! This is worth... Tequila. You've triggered Hayley there. She's just woken up from a slumber. Chili Margarita. Ah, yum! And gin citrus twist.

Sure. They call this the Hayley range. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Classic margarita. Oh, my God, it's got tequila. You freeze that, right? I always get the worst hangovers from pals. I get a belly full of gas.

I would say it's the... That fizzes a lot for me. I would say it's the poor quality alcohol, probably. Hey! Oh my God. I don't think it's any secret that that is purely marketing.

And don't get me wrong, they've done it fantastically. Their marketing rules. It's very simple. Good marketing. Oh, their drinks, they're normie. Oh my God.

They're normie, but I'm not saying it's the highest quality alcohol. Not for that price. These are great flavours, though. A margarita, the worst part about margarita is the prep, like to make them all. If you have that little can like this, I'll try it.

I'll try it. Well, I've got the top six other PALS flavours for summer. We need, okay. We need these ones. We need these ones, and I'll take them to the PALS marketing department. Okay. Number six, desperation for acceptance and lime.

Nice. For this summer in particular, it's going to be good. Des, desperation for acceptance and lime. Nice. For this summer in particular, it's going to be good. Desperation for acceptance and lime. Lime, you want that citrus hit with your desperation for acceptance. Yeah, otherwise it's too thick. Yeah, balance is going to cut through. Number five on the list of the top six power flavours for summer. I've got discretionary income and raspberry.

I love raspberry. That feels targeted at me. I've got Discretionary Income and Raspberry. I love Raspberry. That feels targeted at me. I love Discretionary Income. I am a huge fan of Discretionary Income. Wow. Yeah. And Raspberry for the sweet toast. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. You do love Raspberry. Any Raspberry ITD, I'm all over it. This guy. Raspberry has got to be so freezing cold. Otherwise, it's the most disgusting flavour. Oh, yeah, you've got to have the micey cold. Freezing cold.

Wild. Number four on the list of the top six other pals flavours we need for summer. Cleavage, selfie and cola. I'll be doing a lot of that. Cleavage, selfie and cola. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a bit of something different from them too

because I don't think they've done a cola before. No, yeah, it would be different. Yeah. Cleavage, selfie though. Yeah. Well, it's a bit of something different from them too because I don't think they've done a cola before. No, it would be different, yeah. Cleavage selfie though. Yeah. I've seen pals in a few cleavage selfies. Have you? Not on purpose. What are you looking at?

Just by accident. Right, you just scroll it. It was an ad. I'm just a huge fan of pals. Right. Just kind of came up in your feed, did it? These photos? Okay.

Right. I asked them to stop. Interesting. I reported the photo. Oh, you These photos? Okay. Why don't I ask them to stop? Interesting. I reported the photo. Oh, you reported it? Yeah, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see the inner curvature of a breast. But yeah, they kept coming up.

I'm a married man. Of course. They kept coming up in your feed. They keep coming up. Wow. I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry. I appreciate that.

Because I often look over your shoulder and see titties. Yeah, I know. And that's me reporting them all. Finding shoulder and see titties. Yeah, I know. And that's me reporting them all. Finding them and reporting them. Finding them and reporting them. Oh, so that's what you're doing. You're seeking them out. Finding them and reporting them.

To report them. Finding them and reporting them. You like one of those really like anti- Sometimes it's cleavage. Sometimes it's the inside of the wrist. Sometimes it's the under. Yeah, I see that. Oh my gosh.

I'm sure I've seen full nips as well. Like those really anti, you know, the anti-gay, really conservative people that go out of their way to kind of, you know. Yeah, find out where the gays are. Yeah. And they want to watch gay erotica to make sure there's no Christians in there. To report it. To report it. Just to report it.

Number three on the list of the top six Powell's flavours for summer, Guava Generational Wealth. Oh, yum. Delicious. Yeah, I love a bit of guava. And I'd like a bit more generational wealth. I'd like a little bit more. If I could.

Since my parents are spending a lot of it. That's definitely a flavour for the parents. Yeah, yeah. The over 60s. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six Powell's flavours for summer, White Privilege and Lemon. Yes. Yeah, yeah. The over 60s. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six are Powell's Flavors for Summer. White Privilege and Lemon. Yes. A delicious drop. Of course.

The offset of the lemon against the white privilege. Yeah, of course all of these flavors come with a Drink Responsibly logo on it. Oh, of course. Especially the white privilege and lemon. Drink Responsibly when you are drinking white privilege and lemon. Yes. Always. Absolutely. And number one on the list of the top six pals,

flavours for summer are hiding my insecurities in green apple. Oh my God, that is really... I'll order a dozen of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds really nice. Get them in the fridge straight away. Especially in summer. Yeah.

Is it a crisp, is it a Granny Smith apple or a Braeburn apple? No, it's a crisp green apple. Cloudy. Not cloudy. No, no, no. It's crisp. Yum. Really, it'll really help you hide up those insec. No, no, no. It's crisp. Really, it'll really

help you hide up those insecurities. Fantastic. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Stop scraping your bloody porridge bowl. We both did great in that song. You went poos and got back in time and I had all my breakfast because I was a hungry boy this morning.

Vaughn, please don't choose. I don't usually have my breakfast until after the show. Some's a sacred between friends. People don't need to know you're eating breakfast. Yeah, people don't need to know that. But congratulations on doing a poo in that time. This man and his swift ablutions is absolutely to be admired. I had to run. I had to run.

A lot of fibre there. I couldn't do that. I'm too dry. I'm not Russian. You know what I mean? You know me. Garwin is like, shut up. Now I'm not Russian. You know what I mean? You know me. Darwin is like, shut up!

Now I'm imagining you poop bark. Carry on. Yesterday, Shannon I believe was seeing her best friend and she made a lovely gesture, as old as time. Something to mark a best friendship.

You brought some rings. Yeah, so we got some matching gold-plated rings, which is a big deal for us. You know, money's tight. And I was like, here we go, babe. Money's tight, so I'm going to buy gold-plated rings for my friend. Well, we had a voucher code, so we kind of got a discount. We were like, this is a nice investment for us.

We've been best friends for 60 years. Gold-plated jewellery is not an investment. Can I ask how much did these cost? About 50. Each or both? Each. Okay. So two days out from payday, you decide... No, she's using the rent.

Were you using the rent money again? Yeah, of course. I do this every week. My dude, I know. I know. But anyway... I'm like close to an intervention with this one. No, she knows I spend her every week. My dude, I know. I know. But anyway, so. I'm like close to an intervention with this one. Yeah. No, she knows I spend her rent money. I feel like it's a problem if I'm like sneaky.

You pay it back on payday, but you're just always going to be in arrears. You're always in the red. Yeah, but just for like a little bit. Don't worry, guys. Oh my God. Guys, don't worry. Don't worry. She's good.

We need to let her go. She's a butterfly. We need to let her fly. So you bought these two rings. Yeah, beautiful gold-plated rings, and they arrived at work. I got them sent here, and I got them about 6 a.m., and I proceeded to lose mine before midday. For God's sake.

Yeah. I know where it is. Where is it? On the floor of the Taco Bell car park at Auckland Airport. Jesus. Where all good things are. All time low. It's not there anymore, hon.

All time low. Yeah. Yeah, I was cleaning the deodorant. It's actually the deodorant from my cockroach attack. I had fake snow on my weather screen. Guys, she's a butterfly. We've got to let her fly. And I was like, it's finally time to clear off the deodorant on my windscreen.

Well, someone's coming in the car. I really want to be a helicopter parent here, but I know that we've got to let her go. They've got to make their own mistakes. So I bought some baby wipes because I was like, this isn't coming off. I tried using a receipt and it went all scratchy. Well, hold on, Jesus.

No, you've got to let her fly. I've got to let her make her own mistakes. But I will stop and say no child of mine will ever use a receipt to clean deodorant off the windscreen of their mouldy car. Yeah, I sent Warren a video of the mould of my car and he said I was gross. And the Bissell was immediately put into the car. You will be Bisselling your car. I will be.

But yeah, so I was cleaning with baby wipes and I didn't want to get baby wipe goo and stuff on the ring. So I put it on my lap and then I realised I stood up and left the car. So it's somewhere in the car park there by the airport. Yeah, but it would cost that much in diesel

I reckon to go back. She drives diesel. So bizarre. So you're not going to go back and look for it? Nah, I'm just going to buy a new one. So find us keepers

if you're in the Auckland airport zone and outside Taco Bell. Yeah, what does it look like? It's a gold plated ring. Yeah, gold with like a little fake outside Taco Bell. Yeah, what does it look like? Yeah. It's a gold-plated ring. Yeah, gold with like a little fake pearl on it. Yeah, cute.

So she's still got her ring. I haven't actually given hers yet. Oh, right. Because now they're not best friend rings. You're just giving her a ring. You're basically proposing now. Yeah, well, so I see.

You're not in any financial state to be engaged. Oh, no. You do not want to have a wedding on the horizon. No. Yeah, well, I messaged her and I said, I'm sorry, we're going to have to prolong the ceremony. I'm going to have to order a new on the horizon No Yeah, well I messaged her and I said

I'm sorry, we're going to have to prolong the ceremony I'm going to have to order a new one She's like, hon Oh my god, so now this has cost you $100 And it's not even solid gold No, yeah Oh my god Let her make mistakes

Sorry, let her make mistakes Sorry We love you, we trust you Thank you Fly free This is a classic Shannon move though I know. Can I add you on Find My Friends?

That's the only thing I ask. I'm just adding you on Find My Friends. You know when you see, like, dead birds on the ground? Don't call her a dead bird. And they're like, don't have any feathers or whatever. Yeah. And you were like, why did you ever get out of the nest, you dumbass? You should have stayed in the nest until you grew some feathers.

Yeah. I feel like Shannon's a bit like the dead bird. She's like, I'm all good. And the bird's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't have a feather to speak of. He's like, no, you don't need them. You don't need them. I'm a bird, bro. From this vantage point of this nest, I've seen so many animals

without feathers. I'm just going to give it a go. No, no, no, no, no. We've called Shannon a few things. Dead bird's got to be one of the worst. Let's make her feel a bit better by getting some other people on the phone and on the text machine. When did you lose something straight away? Got it?

Ha! Puh! Gone. Oh, and bonus points if it was really expensive. Sentimental. It wouldn't be sentimental if you got it straight away though, would it? There might have been a lot of feeling to it. Somebody dropped their engagement ring down a storm grate and never got it back.

Who was that? When they were being proposed to. Oh, no. They were at like a lookout. Yeah. And the car park at the lookout where they were doing it had a storm grate in the thing and they dropped it and it went bounce, bounce, bounce, tonk, down the hole.

Really good, though, that they have stormwater drainage at that lookout point, though. It is good, actually. You don't want those getting flooded. You don't want pooling water. You don't want pooling water which could lead to a subsidence of the land underneath. Maybe you saved up for a night of clothing. First night out.

We're there. All bit hot in the club. Go home. Where's my jacket? I hate that. When you have a favourite hoodie or jacket. Oh yeah. Totally.

Or you know you always see those videos of like when the new iPhone drops and it's like I've been lining up for three days got the new iPhone in the hand first one in America smash gone when did you line up for iPhones anymore

do they remember when they did we're all gonna get one yeah we're all gonna get it we're not gonna sell out for things like shoes yeah

0800DARLS at Amazon give us a call you can text through 9696 and your message like our beautiful butterfly Shannon who we have to let fly when did you get something and then lose it straight away and give us a call. You can text through 9696 and your message. Like our beautiful butterfly, Shannon, who we have to let fly.

When did you get something and then lose it straight away? Give us a call. We're letting the bald baby fly out of the bird's nest. Little bald baby. Little bald baby bird. We want to know when you got something and then lost it straight away. Lovely producer Shannon at the social media desk

bought a little ball baby bird we're gonna let her fly bought a nice gold ring for her and her best friend and then she lost hers literally

within six hours yeah in a car park can we change your name can we change your name in the group chat to ball baby bird cool

I just wanted to check because your breath it's not bullying because now we've got Kurtowin which is what Aaron thought Carwin's name was Cool. I just wanted to check because your breath starts not... I think we're due a name change. It's not bullying. Because now we've got Curdawin. Bald baby. Which is what Aaron thought Carwin's name was. It was like, oh, it's nice hanging out with everyone.

Did Shannon and Curdawin have a good time? I was like, who? Curdawin. Our little Welsh village girl. Our little Curdawin. Yes. So some messages in. What have you lost almost immediately?

I'll warn you, there's a sneeze in here. No, just let it come out, babe. He's rattling around. He'll probably sneak out at some stage. So we're talking about what you've lost straight away. I bought a brand new iPhone, opened it in the car park, threw out the box, and then it slipped out of my hand and down into a stormwater drain,

and I couldn't get the drain open and get the phone out, and then that was the end of that phone. Goodbye phone. We have insurance on that. Right, you've got the purchase. They said I had to go back to using my old phone for another year to save up for another one. Oh, no.

There's got to be something you can do. Those storm grate lids are insanely heavy. I mean, it's to stop children going down there looking for that clown with the balloon. Also, sometimes when they tar seal the road or whatever, the tar will go in and you can't open it. Yeah the balloon. Also, sometimes when they tar seal the road or whatever, the tar will go in and you can't open it. Yeah.

I had to open quite a few of those to chuck my circulars in. Remember when I did the circular run it to get rid of the fuel? You were putting so many down at a time you couldn't put them through the gaps. It was quicker for you to wrench them open, dump the whole lot of circulars, clog up New Plymouth stormwater system. Yeah, you're welcome.

That's why they needed three waters to unclog all my drains. Yeah, of course. That's why you were pro or anti three waters? Karen, what did you lose almost immediately? It wasn't me. It was my mother-in-law. One Christmas day, she got given by her mother an antique brooch, which had been in the family for a while.

Bit of an heirloom. Yeah while. Bit of an heirloom. Yeah, a bit of an heirloom. She wrapped it in a serviette for some reason and put it on the bench, and then we cleaned up, and the serviette went down the waste disposal and destroyed the brooch, and we then spent the next hour and a half

trying to pick bits of gold out of the waste disposal. I'll say, there's a couple of things here. That was a dumb move to put in a serviette. She sounds like an idiot. Who puts serviettes down the waste disposal? My in-laws, apparently. Yeah. You can't have paper pulp.

You've got a Carl Fletcher clogged drain system. No, but they're circulars. Because do you ever eat food, if you're at someone's house or at a restaurant and you kind of, maybe you get a bit of gristle or you don't finish all your food, you just wrap it in a paper towel to disguise it. Yeah, for sure.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But then don't put the paper towel down. No, but if you were cleaning up, you'd just tuck it down. What do you do? You tuck it down. Unfortunately, he has the ring in it. And the worst part about that is it heirlooms. So it survived 100 years, let's assume.

I always think this about like old, old things. I've got my nana's rings and I'm like I'll be the one I will be the one They survived so many generations I'll put it on my finger and go gone I had to get my mother-in-law an electric fry pan from Briscoe's, got back to the car put it on the roof of the car and got in the car

and drove away, I realised oh god I left it on the roof, I went back couldn't find it, it was gone Electric fry pan, that would have made a bit of a crash You think it would have made a, when it slid off, you would have heard it. But then,

straight back and bought another electric fry pan. If you found an electric fry pan in the box in the Briscoe's car park, I'd take it home. I'd just say it. I'd take it home. It's probably not polystyrene in the box. It would have been all right.

Yeah. Even if it had a little dent, it was free. True, man. True. I got told off last night when I was drying the dishes, I dropped a frying pan

Now I would have thought All these frying pans Would have hit the ground And it went And bent in Oh That's a weak frying pan And you got told off

I got told off For not being more careful While drying the dishes You're a silly whore And then I said Well if someone bought Decent quality pans I don't think we'd have this problem

And now we're having A domestic argument And now we're having an argument Yeah Wow Okay We put it to bed So now you've got chip plates A couple of chip glasses And a d argument. And now we're having an argument. Yeah. Wow. Okay. We put it to bed. So now you've got chip plates, a couple of chip glasses.

And a dungy pan. And a dungy pan. Oh, wow. Dungy pan. In 2009, I was 14 years old, and we just put our cat down. I was a sad boy. So to buy happiness, my parents bought me an iPod Touch. I dropped it 30 minutes after getting it home and setting it up,

and it broke, and it stopped working immediately. I love that he had to clarify it was an iPod. iPod Touch. Yeah. 2009. That's a flash iPod. My cousin got married in Rarotonga, went for a swim in the ocean after the wedding,

and lost his gold wedding band. No, you didn't. Oh, my God. That's what happened to Jake. That's what happened to Jake. Yeah. Maybe that's Jake's cousin. Or this happens all the time.

And Rarotonga just like go metal detecting on Rarotonga. Yeah. These palungas are idiots. With their bloody gold rings. With their gold rings. Moments ago, we were talking about our producer, Shannon. Yes, our bald little bird. Our little baby bird.

Who bought her and her best friend a set of gold rings to be best friend rings. And you lost it, Shannon. Yeah. You were cleaning your car at the airport in a car park and you stepped out of your car because it was on your lap and it dropped on the ground. Yeah, because I'm not a ring girl,

so I just hadn't thought about it. And then as soon as I left the airport and realised I'd lost it, I knew exactly where I'd lost it. You know, when you're just like, I know what I've done, and I'm a silly billy. Yeah, so you said it was in the Taco Bell car park by the airport. Yeah, the top of the car park, because I was cleaning rubbish out of my car,

so I parked next to the bin. I just stood there. Are you allowed to do that? Just empty your car rubbish into a public bin? No household refuse. No word on car refuse. Oh, my God. I always empty my stuff into there.

Now, Chloe, is that where you found the ring? Yes. Yay! We'll let Treasure Hunter on the show. Oh, my God. What the hell, Chloe? I work out at the airport and it's on the way and I was listening and I thought, do it. I can find it in a couple minutes.

It's only a couple minutes and I can save you 50 bucks. Oh my God. You are such a girl's girl. Chloe, has it been run over or stood on? No, it looks pretty shiny and good to me. Oh, my God. Shannon, were you going to just buy another one? Yeah, I had it in my car,

and then I was going to see if anyone else wanted to get it on an order to try and get free shipping because I'm out of money. Oh, my God, stop spending money. Chloe, this is so nice of you. Oh, it's no problem at all. It's a fun trip on a test morning. Let's talk rewards, Chloe. What do you want from Shannon?

What do you want? Do you want a cafe voucher? Do you want to be our call of the week? Yeah, can we do that? Oh, that's a nice idea. There we go. I love that. I love that.

Yes, Chloe, let's give you a McCafe voucher. Thanks, Tom. Our friends at McCafe, well done. Thank you, Chloe. We'll put you on to Shannon. Yep, we'll put you a McCafe voucher. Thanks, Tom. Friends at McCafe, well done. Thank you, Chloe. We'll put you on to Shannon. Yep, we'll put you on to Shannon. You can sort out how you get that back. Maybe a little career bag

because I don't think Chloe should have to go out of her way. No, no, no. Actually, why should she be out of pocket, actually? Oh, my God. That is so good. I love that. What you've witnessed here, Hayley, is the power of radio. And I am blown away.

Let's find Hayley's silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Got you. Got you. 24 minutes away from it. Did you just hear what she said to me?

Take off your top. Well, he's going at this. Yeah, but you were puffing it out like very hot. And she's like, oh, take it off. Yeah, I said, give us a look. Take your top off. And I said, HR, got you. Got you.

On the cameras, got you. It's all being recorded. Gotcha. Today's silly little poll. Because there is news or a rumour that one of the Travis Kelce yeah or Taylor Swift

has the other on their lock screen yes on their phone and people are like well that's too soon would you put someone on

after like three I was trying to think about this but when I first got with Aaron I didn't have an iPhone I didn't have a phone that could have a background right so you took a photo of him

and put it in your purse. Yeah, I printed it. I had it in my wallet so I could look long after my lover when he was away. Right, next to your world vision child. If I had just started seeing someone and then they were like, oh, she's officially a billionaire, I'd be like, lock screen.

Lock screen. Lock her in, get a ring on her, lock screen. Lock screen, yeah. I'm going to lock screen that woman. Fair point you've made there. I mean, he's not bringing nothing, though, is he? He's not bringing nothing, but he's not bringing a billion dollars. Lock screen. Yeah.

How soon into dating should they become your lock screen is a question we ask. Sort of a silly little poll. Open-ended silly little poll. Yeah. Like an open sandwich. Mmm. Yum. I want a steak sandwich.

It's got to be steak. It's got to be steak. If it's an open sandwich, it's got to be steak. It's got to be steak. If it's chicken, it's got to close up. You're going to get a chicken sandwich. No, I never get a steak sandwich. It's got to be steak. It's got to be steak. If it's an open sandwich, it's got to be steak. It's got to be steak. If it's chicken, it's got to close it. You're going to get a chicken sandwich. No, I never get the open sandwich. He's going to get a chicken sandwich.

I love an open sandwich. You've got to close the chicken. The chicken likes to be closed. The steak likes to be open. The steak's got to breathe. Oh, damn it. Motor Nature. Now we're going to need to get steak sandwiches.

Yeah, we're going to need to get steak sandwiches. Motor Nature said five years, question mark? Five years? Five years, Five years? Gnarly Bard says two months. Two months to lock screen. That's quick. I would say three months things get serious.

I'd go and ruin this because when I got with Sade we didn't have lock screens. So then, I don't know, she's going to leave me I assume. One day. And then I'm going to need to find someone else and I'll be like oh you seem nice

and then I'll take a photo of them and they're like what are you doing and I'll be like oh lock screen and they're like Vaughn it's been one day I'll be like

oh how long should I wait I don't know how to do this I don't know how to do this I hate you do you have a fax Emily I can send you Emily said one week

and then this face tongue out eye shut eye wide open that's the creepiest face yeah that's it one week. And then this face. Tongue out, eye shut, eye wide open. That's the creepiest face. Yeah, that's it. One week. If you were on the receiving end of someone lock screening you after a week,

you'd be like, they're crazy. You'd be running through the hills. Unless it was super hot. Do you think being people in the media, anyone has us as their lock screen? Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I just imagine. Christ, you are out of control sometimes.

Imagine if someone's just like freaky deaky got me. Do you know what I mean? Like Jason Momoa is my desktop background. And he's just a man walking about his life. Someone looks at you like you look at Jason Momoa. Is that your dream? Mate, open your eyes and have a look at me. I'm someone's desktop background.

She's being inappropriate to me. Gotcha. Gotcha. Take a look at these puppies. I don't want to look at them. I don't want to look at them. She's forcing me to look at them. And tell me I'm not someone's desktop background. She's being inappropriate to me. Gotcha. Gotcha. Take a look at these puppies. I don't want to look at them. And tell me I'm not someone's desktop background. Outrageous. The only person that waters that person

that runs your fan account. They freak me out. Sprawlian. Give her a follow. Sian says stick with your cat pic. It'll last longer. I either have Rolly or Aaron and mostly Rolly. Kenny says

six months minimum, me becoming a cynic of love would have said three months but we jaded. Cynic of love. She's a cynic of love. That was my favourite Guns and Roses album. Kazama, cynic of love, Cynic of Love!

Cynic of Love. And Linz said, never. Jaded. Cynic of Love. Never. Next on the show. Ashley said,

five years plus, it's a red flag and very cringe as anything if they do it any sooner. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Christchurch has got its own monopoly. How did they wrangle this one? A tip of the hat to you, Christchurch,

with your own monopoly. I do not know because countries have their own monopoly. Growing up, our family's monopoly that we took to the beach and flipped and argued and screamed about. And I think once someone ripped the board in half because it was one of those boards that folded into itself. Was a New Zealand Monopoly. Yeah, I think ours is too.

We had the British, you know, the British traditional Monopoly growing up. Yeah. And I've got, you've got a few. I've got the Queen one where everything's Queen themed as in the band. Not Her Majesty. Rest in peace. So Wellington had its own in 2017. Oh, I used to do it because it had Lambton Quay.

Yeah, I remember that. Lambton Quay was the represent, Queen Street and Lambton Quay were the two big dogs. Oh, no, I'm thinking of that. In the New Zealand edition, they were the purple ends of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Walk down both of those streets now. So Christchurch is the fourth custom New Zealand Monopoly game following Southland and Wellington.

Southland's got one. You said fourth? Yeah. And then you only named two things ahead of it. This article does not mention the other ones. Oh, must be Auckland, right? Must be. I think it is Auckland, yeah.

Auckland, Wellington. Because I remember Southland. Yeah. Auckland, right? Must be. I think it is Auckland, yeah. Auckland, Wellington. Because I remember Southland. Yeah. And Christchurch. Yeah. Oh, do you know what's funny? Every colour is set, is assigned a particular sector or industry so that the brown ones, which are the cheap ones, you're not like poo-pooing a suburb.

So the brown ones are your natural attractions. Rather than like on the original one, it went the brown and the light blue and that were your povo areas. And then your dark blue and your green and your reds were your rich affluent areas. So they're saying the brown ones are now natural tourist attractions, which I think should be at the higher end of the value scale because you can't, you know. Well, what? Can't put money value on that.

Can't make them. What's made for your park lane? What are the dark blues? Yeah, what are the dark blues? value on it. Can't make them. What's Mayfair Park Lane? What are the dark blues? Yeah, what are the dark blues? Christchurch Cathedral and Hagley Park. Hagley Park deserves to be up there. Purely on Acre of Geelong. So the Avon River and Orana Wildlife Park are the brown squares.

What's the train stations? Utilities. No, utilities is different. Transport Christchurch Airport. Yep. The Antarctic Centre. Is one of the four? Okay, yeah. Utilities No utilities is different Transport Crush at Chairport Yep The Antarctic Centre Is one of the four Okay yeah

Cathedral Junction And Littleton Port Okay Court Theatre Cool And what were the utilities Orion Like the power people

You know the power Yeah So the Cathedral Yeah and Hagley Park And the Dark Blues So it's not streets and stuff. It's landmarks. Yeah, it is.

You don't really want to spend much time there at the moment, do you? Why not? It's still pretty infested with pigeons and their feces, isn't it? It's literally a pigeon cathedral. An old cathedral. Wow. Well, congratulations, Christchurch. If I landed on Christchurch Cathedral, I'd only ask for half the demand I pay half the rent.

Because it's not fully built. Unoccupied. It's not occupied. Yeah, it's not certified. It hasn't had a CCC. I should get a rent break. You should get a rent break. So if you're playing the new Christchurch Monopoly game,

demand a rent break. Or a tax break. A tax break, yeah, absolutely. Miravale up there? I'm just trying to think of your posh Christchurch suburbs. The yellow spots on the Christchurch Monopoly are bars. The Bog, Fat Eddie's and Joe's Garage. Oh, we've done Fat Eddie's.

Yeah. On the street. That's pretty cool. Well, yeah, I guess it's out somewhere. I guess you can play that in... Has the jail got a local jail? No, it'll just be jail. It just says go to jail.

Oh, right. But yeah, they've missed a trick there. It should be Rolleston. Was this Rolleston jail? Was it go to jail? I was going to say Rolleston. That was going to be my assumption. Okay.

Missed a trick there. Yeah, really missed a trick. Oh, yeah, they've got a port, the Christchurch airport, the tram, and I think a train or a bus or something as your train station. Do you not know the difference?

I would like to commend us all for the knowledge of this break we all had obviously before we started talking. This has been an exemplary example of literally not knowing anything about this and just started

to talk about it. What do you mean I had the list in front of me? Why did it take you so long to give me any answers? Also the the green ones, my niece just texted me and said, guess what's green? I think we've had enough. Christ College.

I think we've had enough. Oh, oh. Yeah, and when you land on it, you say, what school did you go to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to. That's really giving Christ

a bit of a bump, though. Christ College. What about all the other ones? Well, it's Christ College. I think it should have been Burnside. I think it should have been Burnside. I think it should have been Burnside. University of Canterbury. Yeah, they should have put some public ones in there.

Yeah, get a couple of public ones. Some public schools. No, no, no, Burnside's not... Isn't it the biggest? Some decile ones. Right. Can't name any. Us private people, we sort of run in the same circles.

Christchurch people are just screaming their school names at the radio right now just because that's the immediate reaction when you're from Christchurch and you hear the word school names at the radio right now just because that's the immediate reaction when you're from Christchurch and you hear the word school. You just got to start screaming which ones you went to. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

There is a man called Jay who has revealed that his husband, when he goes to bed, doesn't say anything. So they'll just be hanging out in the lounge or hanging around the house and then Jay will be like, where's my husband? And even has texted Jay will be like, where's my husband? And even has texted him to be like,

where are you? Are you okay? Revealed that most of the time he just assumes he's popped off to take a poop and then maybe like 30 minutes in he's like, what's happened? Now apparently Jay's husband just doesn't say, I'm off to bed. Doesn't say goodnight. Just goes. Why doesn't he say goodnight? He doesn't say goodnight. That's rude. Doesn't say goodnight. Just goes. Why doesn't he say goodnight?

He doesn't say goodnight. That's rude. Doesn't say goodnight. Just actually is like, my day is now done. I'm off. No, he doesn't even say it. Maybe he doesn't want to be peer pressured to stay awake and watch another episode. I don't know. Bizarre. This isn't a one-off thing. It's not like

they're having a tiff or an argument. No, no, no. This is behavior. That's constant behavior. That's weird. That's weird behavior. You've got to say goodnight. All right, I'm off to bed. Goodnight.

That or do a little kissies. They're going to bed and you're like, all right, I'll be there soon. Yeah. I'm not going to be there soon. I'll be there soon. Unless you're at a party. Three hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Unless you're at a party or something. You just want to sneak away. Oh, she exited. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. But this is your loved ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Unless you're at a party or something. You just want to sneak away. Oh, she exited. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. But this is your loved ones.

Yeah. To whom you will, you know, share the foreseeable future. I know. So imagine you're just watching TV as a family and Vaughan, you get up and Sade's like, oh, he's going to the bathroom or the toilet or the kitchen or whatever. And I just don't come back. And then she's like, where are you? He goes to the bedroom and you're snoozing fast asleep.

There has been times where I've accidentally fallen asleep. I'll go, I'll just be like, I'm going to just go and do something and then I'll be like, well, I might just light it, I might just pull the curtain off. I might just wake up in the morning. But that happens during the day. I'll get home from work and I'll be tired and I'll go, just go up there and be like, oh, that bed looks good.

And you climb on there and you're asleep for a couple of hours. Oopsy-daisy. But you never go to bed without saying goodnight to everyone. That's the weirdest thing ever. You announce it. To everyone. Going to bed is the thing you announce. Goodnight to you, a goodnight to you, and a goodnight to you. And to

you also, sir. Oh my god, someone just messaged in. No way, I just go to bed, never say goodnight. What? No, this is not a thing. In a flat? Fine. Oh yeah, a flat. In a shared living situation. But if you're with your family or your loved one, yeah, 100%. not a thing. In a flat, fine. Oh, yeah, a flat. In a shared living situation. But if you're with your family or your loved one, yeah, 100%. Say goodnight. I would be miffed.

So weird. Yeah, I wouldn't. I think they're up to something. Yeah, I'd be like, that's bizarre behaviour. I'd be annoyed. Taking the iPad to the bedroom. If Aaron did that, I would wake him up and be like, you don't want to tell me you're going to bed?

And he'd be like, I'm going to sleep now. And I'd be like, yeah, well. Goodnight. Goodnight. Don't do this, yeah, well. Good night. Good night. Don't do this. This is weird. Announce. Announce your departure. Announce your departure from the day. Yeah. Even if you are going to have a little naughty watch.

I'm going to bed now. Somebody said my partner does this too, all the time. What? Or just been gone. No. It's weird. And I'll look around and they've just silently got off the couch and gone to bed and not say good night. Can we get one of these people on the phone to talk to, one of these people that just sneak away without saying goodnight?

I do that all the time. I fall asleep in the bed, that's the day over. No, but you say goodnight before you get into bed. My wife does the same, but it's so she doesn't interrupt my gaming. Oh, no, you've got to be gaming and then all your teammates hear you go goodnight and then they hear you go, because the mic's by your mouth and you give them a kiss on the cheek and then they it's like they're hearing

the kiss. You're in love. Eight signs the guy you're dating is a gold digger is the article that came across my desk. Interesting because you usually think of gold diggers as being women. Wouldn't you? Typically. I wouldn't say that. I've heard Vaughn say it several times. Yeah, he's diggers as being women. Wouldn't you? Typically...

I wouldn't say that. I've heard Vaughn say it several times. Yeah, he's always like, those bloody women. I thought gold digger was a female pronoun. My pronouns are she, her, gold digger. She, they, gold digger. Men can be gold diggers. In the traditional sense that they're out there

actually digging for gold in a physical, laborious manner that only males are capable of. Of course. And the woman is a helpless lady looking for a man with money bags. Yeah, correct. These are the norms.

So they've given eight signs. Excessive focus on material possessions. Constantly hinting or requesting expensive gifts. Am I a gold digger? Because I do that all the time. Lack of reciprocation.

You are gold digging yourself. Yeah, reciprocation. You are gold digging yourself. Yeah, I know. You are sabotaging yourself. Yeah, you're like, you do need that expensive lamp. Yeah, I dig at Aaron who's approved me to spend my own money on things I don't need. Lack of reciprocation, disinterest in personal details or emotional connection. It's just material things, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Unwillingness to contribute effort or time to the relationship.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. These are the signs. Do you know anyone that is like a gold digger? Not in the sense of like, I'm going to marry this person. But definitely I know people that have stayed in it for the perks. I mean, you see some guys and they've obviously got a lot of money and then they've got a really hot missus and you're like, it's got to be the money, right?

God, yeah. It's got to be the insane money. Yeah, especially when the person with the money is not the hottest thing to look at. Yeah, but it's not about looks, though, is it? It's not about looks, it's about the moolah. It's about what's inside the wallet there might be a really nice person

there might be really a really great conversationalist we want to know they might do freaky things and we could I think we should oh yeah yeah

they might be into freaky stuff they may be the only person that'll do the wild thing that you love and you're like I can't ask someone else they did a thing a time and you're like I can't guarantee I'm going to be able only person that'll do the wild thing that you love. And you're like, I can't ask someone else. They did a thing a time and you're like, I can't guarantee I'm going to be able to find that again.

I better hang in there. I think we should get some calls. And you can call anonymously. In fact, I encourage you to. Were you in it for the money? Have you ever dated someone for the money? Yeah. Maybe you stayed for the money and you were like,

oh, I don't really like this person, but good God, I've got a nice life with them. Well, because I think, yeah, you're just like, well, if I leave them, I'm not going to have all these things. My Maserati. Maserati. Or I will accept if you found out that someone was with you for your money. I mean, wouldn't you know, though?

Like, it wouldn't be a-on at all, would it? Some people, it's very much a turn-on. If it's their language of love as gifts and stuff, totally would be. Totally would be. I just cannot see how that is a thing, but yeah, you're right. No, it is a thing.

I'd be humiliated. You're so ugly. God, thank God you're rich. You've just got such a tiny little willy and you're so ugly. God, you're worth nothing but your money. And some people love that. They love it. Do you make up? Isn't that wild?

Wild. Okay, well. It's like turn of the century Renaissance poet Nelly once said, Hey, must be the money. Yeah. When was that dated? 18, early 1800s.

Yeah. Originally scribed with quill and ink. Do you know, I've been looking for some poetry to get tattooed on me and I think I might

have found it. Hey, must be the money. If you want to go and get a cry with me, smoke an L in the back of the Benzie. Oh,

must I feel this way. I mean, you can also, Hey, must be the money. You can text 9696 or give us a call, 0800-DARLS-ZM. I don't know how fall's coming or if anyone's actually going to admit to being a gold digger.

Were you with someone for their money or did you find out that they were with you for yours? Play ZM's Fletchford & Ailey. Play ZM's. We are chatting about gold diggers because I read an article about the eight signs you are with one, which are all very obvious signs.

But for some people, hey, maybe they're into it. Well, I guess for some people it's a handy arrangement, isn't it? Totally. I want company. You want money. I've got money to give. I don't have company. Here we go.

That's a transaction. Well, some messages in and some calls. Anonymous, when were you with them for the free dinners? So this was when I was at uni. Tinder had been around for a couple years and I

decided to jump on Tinder with the tagline something like you buy dinner and I'll bring the banter. Wait a minute. I didn't catch your line. You buy dinner and what? I'll bring the banter. And so... Wait a minute. You buy... I didn't catch your line. You buy dinner and what? I'll bring the banter. I'll bring the...

Yeah. I feel you've got banter anonymous. They might have wanted just some companionship, a night out, a dinner, and so you get a dinner... A girlfriend experience. And they get a girlfriend experience. Yeah.

So I was legitimately in it just for as many free dates as I could get without really... No strings. Wow. Got me a handful of good stories out of it. Please. Like, really nice three-course

steak dinner. That was fun. Every course was steak. Are you allowed? Did you say three-course steak dinner? Yes. Every course was steak. What about pudding? I'm going to have a pudding steak. Wait, do you have a pudding steak? Oh, right.

At the steakhouse. Like, a fancy dinner at the steakhouse. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's expensive. Yeah, I love a steakhouse. Okay. And you get a T-bone. Did you get a T-bone?

Did you get a T-bone? I can't remember, but it was nice. If someone else was paying, you always get a T-bone. They were paying. Yeah, and so that was one. I did have a guy ring me one day because it was rude and, like, taking advantage and all that sort of stuff. Oh, he said yes.

You swiped right. You were quite right. You swiped right. You swiped right. No, do you know what? You were honest with your intentions on your profile. Yeah, but also no one reads the profiles. They just see your face.

That's on them. Yeah. And then, so, yeah, had a handful of free dates. And then the most memorable one was the guy that I was with he ended up paying for dinner but we spent like 45 minutes or something he was just asking me all of these questions about what I was studying at uni and I sort of sat there and I was like at what point do I start charging for this like this is consulting well you're getting dinner out of it, aren't you?

And I was like, oh, okay, that's fair. And then we were together for two and a half years. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. So you just started out with the girlfriend experience and the free dinner and it turned long term. This is going really well.

Yeah. Yeah. No, so that was fun. And then you handshook. I'd imagine there was a handshake. Yeah. Congratulations. Oh, yes. Just a handshake, definitely. Wow. Yeah, yeah. No, that was fun. And then you handshook. I'd imagine there was a handshake. Yeah. Congratulations. Oh, yes.

Just a handshake, definitely. Wow. Okay. But nobody called you a gold digger and got upset about this? Oh, just the one guy that was being rude about it. Yeah. And I was like, dude, kill. That was the agreement.

That was the agreement. Good for you, man. Anonymous thank you messages in. I like the consent and the intentions being set there. You can do whatever you want as long as you both know what's happening. I'm just checking. No, that's not Sade's. Why?

What does it say? I stayed with a fat, bald, narcissistic arsehole for part of the trip. You're not that fat. Oh, come on, Hon. You're not that fat Oh come on hon You're not that fat Oh I am I have been Bald and an arsehole Yes

Bald and an arsehole Yes You're not that fat babe Yes I would like to stay anonymous Done I live in the States For a period of time

And the whole time is there I wouldn't say gold digger, but more of a male gigolo. Ooh. Okay. Gifts, money and a nice place to stay, pretty much anything that was free. In exchange for sex, you are.

Well, have you seen the US dollar at the moment? That's atrocious to travel on. That's atrocious to travel there at the moment. Oh my God. Ludicrous. Why not? My ex's grandfather was the founder of a very large

New Zealand business that they have ridden and I will not because I fear legal repercussions. You simply must tell Hayley and I when we start playing

the song off the air. I simply will. We get to know things you don't know. Founder of a large New Zealand business towards the end of the relationship

he became an unbearable dickhead but I stayed with him for a bit longer to have all expenses paid trips to Oaxaca. Including all the vineyards. I went to pay for my own trip to Oaxaca the other day.

The ferry's like $50. It's not so you can almost get a flight to Wellington for that much sometimes. What are the alternatives? Yeah, in the 80s. Take a jet ski. I was planning to break up with him,

but then his family took me to Fiji for my birthday, so. Oh, well, you've got to get Fiji out of the way. How long after the Fijian holiday do you break up if you're wanting to break up? Give it two months? Yeah, I think you've got to give it two months. But then that's when they start planning the next Europe trip. Oh, if we're going to Europe. Well, if Europe's on the cards,

then I think I'm going to go for a little bit longer. Christmas. Oh, we'll get Christmas out of the way. We're just going to get Christmas out of the way. But then you know that, if we're going to Europe? Well, if Europe's on the cards, then I think I'll hang out for a little bit longer. Christmas? Oh, we'll get Christmas out of the way. We're just going to get Christmas out of the way. But then you know that Valentine's Day is going to be a nice little gift. God, and this is how easy it is to stay with someone for money for years.

Yeah. I get it, man. Easter's a long weekend, so I'm imagining we're going somewhere. Yeah. Somewhere nice. Probably just a short hop to Hawaii. Maybe just a little Hawaii.

I met a guy at a club. We've gone to Hawaii. He offered to pay me a weekly allowance if we started dating. It lasted about six months and then I just felt guilty, Maybe I just looked it up. I met a guy at a club. We've gone to Hawaii. He offered to pay me a weekly allowance if we started dating. It lasted about six months and then I just felt guilty, so I left him. Is it like the same as wins or like how much do you get? The allowance. I actually don't know what his allowance was.

Imagine going on a date with someone and being like, well, here's what you get for wins. I'll give you five more. Match it and add five percent. Hey, if you're giving me, we don't even need to tell Wins about this agreement if you'll pay me cash unless it's Sowers and he rings up the Dob line the Narc line

do they have a Dob line? they have a Narc line plenty of people doing it and you know what everyone's consenting to it I stay with it now the stories are coming because people are hearing other people's stories and they're like actually i'm not that bad i'll tell them my story i stayed with the guy and he paid for my plastic surgery my

kids private school fees yeah why not fair enough um can't take a call as my uh i'm doing the kids drop off but my husband earns half a million dollars a year and I don't have to work. Jesus. Three kids in private school. I have thought about leaving, but money is what is making me stay. We were talking yesterday about secret funds. Just start squirreling a little bit away.

Yeah, skim. Skim a little bit away. Skim milk off the top. Wow. Yeah. There's a whole underbelly of New Zealand, eh? Isn't there? I love it. I always, when you're driving on the motorway and you look around at all the cars filled with Zealand, eh? Isn't there? I love it.

I always, when you're driving on the motorway and you look around at all the cars filled with people, you're like, these people have got secrets. Yes, yes, I've got secrets. You must have secrets. And I'm like, my secrets are pretty boring. I need some dark secrets. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Today's Fact of the Day is Friends themed week here at Fact of the Day Actually Thank you Stop No Friends thing? Because it's about... Wait, I want to do the claps because I'm so good at the claps. No, you're not.

Do four. Four claps. I told you life was gonna be this way. No! Both of you. Don't do 20 claps. One, two, three, four. I always do one too many. One, two, three, 4 I always do 1 too many 1, 2, 3, 4 No, that's 5

Yeah, I know You gotta clap fast As fast as you can Oh my god You've got a song Because this Was the original Theme song

For Friends When it was called Friends Like Us For the pilot Oh my god I love this song Yeah, but no It's not

I'm not enticed To watch the show. It's a bit... Not at this part. It's R.E.M.'s shiny happy people. And the Friends pilot. Oh, I was like this. Oh yeah, they're good.

They'd be in the fountain. Umbrella. Same vibe, eh? Same real 90s vibe. Totally could have worked. So the pilot was filmed and the pilot was called Friends Like Us. Right. And they were just like, it could just be Friends.

Yeah. Everyone was like, okay, cool. And then it became Friends and they changed the song. Now, other working titles for Friends. I'm imagining the Rembrandts was probably a lot cheaper because at the time, R.E.M. were one of the biggest bands in the world. Yeah, totally. And this song as well was huge.

It was already known. It was already pretty big. Other working titles for Friends before the pilot stage, where it was called Friends Like Us, it was called Insomnia Cafe. That sucks. Terrible name for a show. Across the Hall. Yeah, that's all right.

Because they live Across the Hall. Oh, because they were in May. Yeah, because they lived across the hall. And that was also when Phoebe and Ross were supposed to be secondary characters because they didn't live with them. That's right. Because there was Monica and Rachel on that side and Joey and Chandler on the other one. And across the hall. And Six of One.

Man, it's so... They suck. Great they went with Friends because all of those are rubbish. Now, in 1993, Matthew Perry, RIP, lost him, this is why we're doing Friends Week, co-wrote and pitched a sitcom to NBC about a group of 20-somethings

called Maxwell's House and they lived in an apartment in New York City. And the network said, respectfully, this is great. We're going to turn it down because we've already got a show like that in the works.

And he's like, I'm interested, I'm keen, let me know. And then he got the role of Chandler. So he was one of the first ones, eh? Yeah, yeah. Wasn't Jennifer Aniston the last? She was the missing piece. Yes. She was the last person to be

cast. And then she, what's her name, Courtney Cox auditioned for Rachel. And then, yeah. Lisa Kudrow was Phoebe and she auditioned

to be Phoebe but she was already on Mad About You playing Ursula and that's when they're like this is owned by the same TV network that was broadcasting it

why don't we make that your twin sister far out so good and that's when they weaved that in and Ursula was originally in Mad About You

right so I've learnt a lot of things. About Friends. About Friends this week. A lot of them. A lot of them. I'm running these by Sade, who's probably the biggest Friends fan I know. Yep.

And I say, do you know this? And if she says yes, then it doesn't make the fact of the day. Because I think Friends fans would know it. Yeah, right. But she didn't know about this theme song, so. Love it. Today's fact of the day is before it was called Friends, it had a bunch of names and this was supposed to be the theme song

Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley We talked yesterday about the fact that I have called for the Sproul family. No gifts whatsoever. We're not doing any of them. And we were all on board so quickly just to be like, yep, happy with that. You were quite surprised. Not quite surprised.

I think it's just we're all feeling the pinch, and there's six of us. You know, there's no kids involved. You were looking to buy an expensive duck bottle cork holder before. Don't. Help me. You are that friend. Everyone has a friend that just is on Trade Me

and is always in antique stores trying to find the kookiest, weirdest things. And you're that friend. It's time to tighten the belt. Yeah, but when you come over to my house and I pour you a whiskey and I go, with my little duck head, you're going to be like, ain't that nifty?

Ain't that nifty? You're going to walk in, you're going to see my barcar and think, holy heck, that's nifty. I would have never thought. A duck head on a cork. I would have never thought. Boy, oh boy a cork. I would have never thought. Boy, oh boy, what will they think of next? Looking at it, I bought it.

So, and I said we didn't want gifts, but then we were looking at all the, like, recommended gifts, like, what are the gifts of the year? So we asked you, what do you want for Christmas? And so 52 days away from Christmas, and as we worked out earlier in the show, four paydays. Four paydays.

If you're paid fortnightly before Christmas. That's right. We asked on the gram, let's shoot through some responses. Okay, and then we've got the top three. The top three. Hayley Sprouse on Instagram says, drum kit and a Satisfyer Pro 2. Now, I thought she just got one.

No, that's called the, what's it called? The Wibbler Wobbler. The Viverga. The Goo Goo Gaga. Obsler. The Viverga. The Goo Goo Naga! Obsession. The Obsession. I've got the Obsession, but my SP2 is broken, so. Right, okay. Broken? Brad Olsen.

Thrashed, I think is the... Wow, you shorted out one of those. Wow. Warned you the nub, I think, is the technical term. Brad Olsen. Are we just getting friends? Friends of the show and participants of the show. Bad news, Brad says sleep. That's free.

That's on you, Brad. That's free. You've got to stop answering every time Seven Sharp calls saying, we want to know what the NASDAQ's doing. Do you know what the NASDAQ is? I don't even know what the NASDAQ is. North American squelchy sounds of squealer. Decking. As greenbackcking Dumb as greenback

Dumbdy doodah Quack Dumb as quack Eden Bates says Nintendo switching some downtime Some downtime Lovely Rose says a cake mixer

Oh yeah what kind of cake mixer Kitchen aid or something like that Because you have a few kitchen aids coming through So you know I've got a I don't want to brag but I make a cake three, three times a year.

One time a year and make some cookies and my KitchenAid, yeah. What happened to Caitlin today is her Instagram handle. She said a Nintendo Switch. Yep.

Okay, that's popular. An Ancestry DNA kit because I'd love to know especially if there's any surprises. Renee, Renee, I'm looking at your profile pic

and I'm seeing someone about as white as me. Now, here, you've got to brace yourself because there's not going to be's any surprises. Renee, I'm looking at your profile pic and I'm seeing someone about as white as me. Now, you've got to brace yourself because there's not going to be any cool surprises. Even when you are as white as you've all, it's still exciting to know. I reckon that's one of the best gifts. Yeah, it's exciting for white people because all we hope is that there's dashes of excitement in there.

Yeah, it's all we want. Portugal, oh, and you're like, thank you. We want to find a sesame seed on our white life. We do all we want. Oh. And you're like, thank you. We want to find a sesame seed on our white loaf. We do. We do. We love that. But you've got to be careful

when you gift those. Yeah. If dad's just like. If dad's a mass murderer. Yeah. Hey, what's that for? I was just thinking

if dad's not dead. Oh, okay. And mum's like, oh, maybe we didn't. Oh yeah, that's true.

We know. We know. That's the important thing. We know how we feel. If your brother or sister doesn't look like the rest of the family, what a great gift idea. Oh yeah. An's true. We know. We know. That's the important thing. We know how we feel. If your brother or sister doesn't look like the rest of the family, what a great gift idea. Oh yeah.

Ancestry.com. Do you want to throw the biggest, most feral cat amongst millions of pigeons? Do it. Do it. Court says a Fuji camera.

A Fuji. Pithonians and Fugees. A Fuji. I always thought it was great that that band branched out. They're like, we're not going to be a band. We're also going to make cameras.

Fugees. A KitchenAid mixer, says Steph. Yeah. A cocktail making kit. Oh, yes. That's easy. That's a good gift, actually. Skincare and stuff.

Drunk Elephant, Glow Recipe, and Sol de Gironaro. Oh, my God. My kids are, what is Drunk Elephant? I've got a feeling I'm going to be in the line for some of this because my kids have talked about it. One of those big squishy toys. It's one of my favorite skincare brands. You want to see a Drunk Elephant? Oh, my God. My kids are, what is Drunk Elephant? I've got a feeling I'm going to be in the line for some of this because my kids have talked about it. One of those big squishy toys. It's one of my favourite skincare brands. You want to see a Drunk Elephant?

Oh, yeah. Down the pub, if you ask the old boys to the Drunk Elephant, they start pulling their pockets out of their jeans. It's a different thing. You don't want to see that. Don't want to see that. Oh, my God. Okay, right.

Yeah, huge on TikTok. More orphans. Give the people that want a Nintendo Switch. Tom Ford bitter peach perfume Sorry, sorry, sorry What were you called? I don't believe you said Oh no, Mr. Blanchard

No, no Mr. Blanchard was like How the hell did they get here? We got a job We got a job Where's your job? You see that little cafe shop That's been abandoned

Yeah Yeah, that's our new little shop in here We're selling goods and things Lemonade Lemonade. Lemonade. Hand massages. Stuff we've made. Macaroni cards.

Stuff we've sewn with our bare hands. We'll put you down for a couple, Mr Fletcher. Oh, you don't have to. What do you want for Christmas? Maybe we can make it with our hands. Yeah, we were asking everyone else what they want for Christmas, but what do you want for Christmas? The money's got it all.

Just some money. What? More money? Just to catch a quidlin. What about a family of your own? No, I'm fine. You don't want any two lovely children? No. He says money, but I think he means company. No. I think he means

mummy. No, he doesn't. He wants to be our mummy. No. Okay, get back out to your store. Okay. If you should need us, we'll just be outside now in your store. Great that you're so close. Yeah, great. See you tomorrow. Okay, so back to the list.

God, those two are cute, huh? They're very, very cute. Bloody cute. Tom Ford bitter peach perfume. Yeah, mate. That sounds expensive. Do you know the only time I ever wear Tom Ford is passing through the airport. Are you trying to get it on all your clothes so it's always there?

I'm about to hit economy. Smell and love business. Anonymous says an engagement ring. The top three, we had Shannon, our beautiful little ball baby bird, who jumped out of the nest too quick said she went through the most common ones, Nintendo

Switch, KitchenAid appliances and skin care. I've got a KitchenAid jug and a mixer. I'm top three. Didn't beat my jug though. You want a Breville if you want a good jug. What's the other thing KitchenAid make That's good

No it's their mixes That they're known for Toasters Blenders Food processor Food processor They do blender And they do their utensils

I've got a couple of those Yeah I've got three Yeah Briscoes do them So you've got to wait Until there's a 40 or 50% off And then you can Get a bloody spatula

Half price Sexy stuff Yeah bloody hell This is hot stuff. Guys, stop it. I'm getting all rocked up. Christmas ideas 52 days away. Big day at Casa Corte C Sproul yesterday.

Eight months, 14 days since our toilet was removed. Nobody saw us going this long without one. It wasn't supposed to be that way, but yet here we are. And then yesterday, twas the day that I was- You certainly made me think about renovating all the time. Yeah, absolutely. With all your great stories, yeah. Yeah.

Everyone's like, what's your number one advice for people looking to renovate? Don't. Yeah. Don't. Buy a finished townhouse and just don't. Never do. Don't. Don't. Yeah. Don't. Buy a finished townhouse and just don't. Never do. Don't.

Don't do it. Don't do it. I want land. No you don't. Don't do it. I'm guessing and I may be wrong. Please

correct me if I'm wrong. There may be people who bought townhouses off plans that are also going through the absolute ringer. Don't do it. You're right actually.

Don't. Yeah. What should we do? Put your money into... Emu farming. That's what I've done, and I tell you what, I am waiting for that to pay off.

You're waiting for the bounce back. But when it pays, it'll pay. That's how industries always work. There's always a bounce back. I'm hoping that the chicken flu will mean that we have to turn to ostrich eggs and emu eggs. I've got bad news for you.

Emu eggs are gross. The chicken flu will also take out the emus. Oh, my God. Are they chickens. Sort of an avian situation. Are they big chickens? It turns out. Emus are just big ass chickens. Unbelievable. So Aaron texted me yesterday at

what time? So much happening in the house. 8.08am. So we're still on air. We had a bit of a chat before and then he said so much happening at the house and I said, oh my God, tell me. He said it's very nerve wracking. Then he sent me a photo of the toilet being installed and I was like, this is the day we've been waiting for.

And I couldn't, I said, oh my God, I wish I didn't have meetings. I want to run home. And then I got home and I was excited. The plumbers were there. They'd put in the showers and they look amazing. And I turned around to look at the toilet. I was like, oh my God, finally, a toilet.

And then Aaron was like, I know. Do you think the lid doesn't match the bowl? And I was like, yeah, it doesn't. And then soon we got a message in our group chat. I effing hate it. I was like, guys, guys. Wait, when you looked at the toilet, did you look to see if it matched?

No, I just, in a haze of joy, toilet. No, I mean when you selected the toilet for your bathroom. Yes, so on the website, the toilet is white. No, but in real life. You can't just go by a website photo. But it came in three different boxes. It's the first time we've taken it out of the box. And the lid didn't match the bowl.

The lid is like a kind of a resin-y plastic and the bowl is a ceramic and they are not the same white. They are distinctly not the same white. And not the same white as the tiles. And I looked and I was like, ooh. That was my immediate response, ooh. And then the plumber was there

like literally about to silicon the toilet in and he was like, oh. And I was like, I hate it. I hate it. And I was like, I don't hate what you guys are doing. I hate it. I hate the toilet. Oh my God, Aaron.

Oh my God, Aaron. And I like walked out the bathroom. Guys, I hate the toilet, said the message to us. Is the problem The problem is that the toilet doesn't match the seat. Or the toilet-y. Or the toilet-y. It is the toilet, not the toilet-y. Guys, I hate the toilet. The toilet seat's a totally different white.

I hate it. It looks so bad. I hate it. This is from Hayley. Fletch said, take a whiter shot. And she took a whiter shot. She said, I feel like everything else is perfect and this is going to bother me. And Fletch said, take a wider shot. And she took a wider shot. She said, I feel like everything else is perfect and this is going to bother me. And Fletch said, you came in.

Can you sift through this message quite, like, be careful. This is a busy chat. Yeah, no, no. It's a busy chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

Either side of this chat is definitely problematic. I feel like I was trying to make this calm situation. No, I feel like you're just going to have to get a new one or it'll bug you until you leave that house. You hate it.

That's Fletch. Carl, it's totally fine. I did start by saying it's totally fine. We're not in this stage of the renovation. And I said that's weird that it doesn't match, but surely they'll take care of that. With that bathroom, totally fine doesn't cut it. Budget's blown out.

I'm not going to have this perfect place and then this hucky toilet. And then I said to the effect, the problem is you're such a perfectionist and you've got such a great eye at imagining what things are going to look like and how everything is going to actually look compared to how much time you've given

to how perfect it's going to look. We've got to be, you know, tempered. Yeah. No, it's not. It's different. And I emailed the place. I emailed the place and I was like, I said to Aaron, I can't have it.

I won't have it. And Aaron's like, we've waited this long. Are we really going to get into a battle with this net? You know, so I ordered them. Email, order 847688. Hi. I just got off the phone. I called them and I was like, excuse me.

Hi there. I just got off the phone with someone on your team who said to email, our plumber is here installing the toilet, but the toilet seat is an awful appliance, white, while the toilet itself is more creamy, white, and in our nice bathroom it looks really cheap. Okay, you're sounding a bit Karen here. Is this to be expected?

Photos taken on iPhone, which tends to watch them out, but it's very noticeable. Please advise how we shall work. And then they didn't respond, and then I sent another one saying, hmm, your website image for reference. Oh, jeez. The toilet's there. You've got to catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Now, they have responded being like, that's not right. It just crumpled the day. It did, and my whole mood was just like, afterwards. I'm digging my toilet and I want it. So no one went poos? Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't know if you can return it now.

We've waited for this toilet. We actually bought it out of the, we passed the warranty anyway, 90 days. We bought it a while ago. Because I was going to say, you can't even return undies to farmers that you've pooed in. So the whole thing is, I doubt you can take a toilet ago. Because I was going to say, you can't even return undies to farmers that you've poohooed in. So the whole thing is...

I doubt you can take a toilet back. The farmers left and they left it and they siliconed it and said, leave it for a bit. And then Aaron looked at me

and he was like, I need a piss. And I was like, do it. Because just the lid needs to change. Yeah, but if they can't find a lid that matches

the bottom, oh my God. And if you two, I know we're late, if you two come over to my house to look at my bathroom and point out the toilet you will never be invited back to my house.

You can't be in my sex shower. You can't be in my nice green stone cave. Can't be in there. Yeah, it's a sex shower. Did you just invite me into your sex shower? Yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha. HR. HR. Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Busting for a poos.

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