ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 30th August 2024

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Top 6: Ways to Cool the Horn  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings!  Vaughans Big Trip  ANZ Donation Station!Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Morning, welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Vaughan is back. We are gonna be forever you and you and me.

And you and you and me. And us three. Back from the island, you were on a Department of Conservation island. Or at a hut. Yeah. Yes. On an island. It's a predator-free island.

In the South, South, South, South Island. So they shipped in a predator. It was a sitter. It was a sitter when you said it. I said it before. I was a pest. I'm a pest. I'm a pest.

I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator.

I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator.

I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator.

I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator.

I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a predator. I'm a pest. I'm a pest, not a predator. I was around on the island. Amazing. How many kākāpō are on this island?

So there's 247 or 74. There's a 407 in the entire world. Oh, wow. And most of them are on this island. And then they take some strong ones and they try them in different areas that are pest and predator free. So it changes all the time. And the best part was there was this little island

called Alcatraz and it's where they take the horny teenage kakapoor. Who are like... Yeah, the other pests and they put them on there because otherwise they don't leave the ladies alone.

Why do we want to leave the ladies alone? I thought we were going to make more kakapoor. It's not breeding season. And then leave them alone as in like, hey, what are you doing? Can I buy you a drink? Yeah.

Gin and tonic? Round of gin and tonics? Pesting. Yeah, right. Round of bloody Rimu berries and a swig from this brown creek. Yeah, wow. Fun times. Oh, dude, it was amazing.

It was a once in a lifetime bucket list situation. Great to be back together, the three of us. Oh, yeah. We've been doing some heavy lifting this week, haven't we? Heavy lifting. I appreciate that. Yeah, you do quite a lot of work. At the beginning of the show and at the tail end.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you've come across my secretive book ending. Yeah. If people think you were busy at the start and at the end, they assume you were busy all the way through. I actually literally put my feet up. On the way, the top six, Morn, you've got this today. I've already written that.

Let me have a little look-see as to what the old last night brain did. So, Hong Kong has been telling teenagers to put their horniness at bay by playing badminton. It will stop you wanting to have premarital sex. Okay. Okay. Cool the horn, I believe was the way. Cool

the horn. Fletch coined the phrase. Right. How to cool the horn. How to cool the horn. So I've got the top six ways that aren't badminton to cool your horn. Yeah, good. Yeah. Okay. You might have woke up this morning raging hormones, sexually charged.

Correct. Yeah. The first person you saw today was me, which is that's not helping. It's not helping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why the kickstart? Why the kickstart? Loads of chances as well today to go on the draw

to see Sabrina Carpenter live in the US so listen out for the Mother Trucker Activator and our donation station is kicking off today yes oh my god

it's amazing from 8.30 our ANZ donation station because it is daffodil day today so we're trying to raise as much money as we can

we're kicking things off with the wonderful Dai Henwood. Who's obviously on his own cancer journey at the moment but also just a great chap. Yeah, he's in after 8.30 this morning. So you can text the word support to 206 to make an instant $3 donation. One in three New Zealanders will be affected by cancer

in their lifetime. So let's raise some money. Hey guys, we've got company phones. Let's just text all day. They will let you get away with a's just text all day. I don't. They will let you get away with a couple. Yeah, yeah. I used to do it dancing on the stars when I'd vote. Dancing on the stars?

Dancing with the stars. Oh. Dancing on the stars is better. I like that. Or if Shane Cortez lying down and someone dancing. Yeah, okay, yeah. Dancing on the stars. I used to text and invite until work was like, stop.

Next on the show. Gen Z is giving up their pets. They're surrendering their pets for good reason. Is Benson Boone his real name? Do you reckon? I don't know.

Or a stage name? I think so. Benson Boone. Great name. I wish I was like Hayley Ham. No. Hayley Ham. You. Hayley Ham.

You know what I mean? Like a little bit of alliteration would have been nice. That would just be because you. Yeah, it's his real name, Benson James Boone. BJB. BJB. BJB, yeah. Bidge Bidge.

Anyway, that just popped into my head a little side. I thought I'm quite distracted today. I'm excited. It's the weekend. Now, here's a study out of America that has revealed startling stats about pets. Okay. 12% of all Americans have surrendered a pet due to the cost of keeping a pet. I've heard lately the rehoming places have been experiencing this in New Zealand as well.

So not like rescues, but people going, I cannot look after this. I'm going to surrender this dog. So the numbers are higher in Gen Zers, 25% of Gen Zers. I guess you look at socials and everyone's got this cute dogs. Yeah, so you're like, I need a cute pet for my socials. And then they grab one and they're like, holy moly, not only are they like a lot of work and they take a lot of your time, but the cost of them is astronomical. And with the cost of living take a lot of your time. Yeah. But the cost to them is astronomical.

And with the cost of living, it's like way higher. Yeah. Because, I mean, cats are expensive enough, but dogs, holy moly. And then they're like, I want to flit off for the weekend. You're like, cool, put your dog in the kennel, your cat in the cattery. That's going to be, you know, a bit of money. Some people drop their dogs off at like doggy daycare every day when they go to work. I know.

How much does that cost? More than childcare. Yeah. It adds up. It's insane. And I mean, it's a great service that places that are doing it. Yeah. Good work.

You're milking it. You're a business op. Do your dogs go into kennels when you go away? They did, but Sade's dad lives in the cottage now. He loves the dogs more than he loves anybody else on the property. I know. I did say to my daughters, how does it feel being secondary? Second class grandchildren.

And I might see his other grandchildren and say, how does it feel to be like well down the ranks? And the dogs are definitely at the top. Yeah. Just to remind them. My wife told me off for saying that. I'm not allowed to say that again, but she's asleep. She's asleep. I hope he leaves all of his money to the top. Yeah. Just to remind them. My wife told me off for saying that. I'm not allowed to say that again, but she's asleep. She's asleep, so we'll just put that out.

I hope he leaves all of his money to the dogs. Me too, because I own the dogs. Therefore, you own the money. Bingo. You got a baby. Bingo. I might open them up a little bank account. Yeah.

Like, yeah. So, like, you've got to think about, because I've got pet insurance, and we use it all the time, and it's great. Oh, you would be crazy not to have some form of pet insurance. I know, but that adds up. I mean, that's like. It's not cheap either.

Oh, ours isn't too bad. It's like $30, $40 a month maybe. That's a lot though. You add that over and that's heaps. If your cat gets hit by a car, it'll be thousands of dollars. That's what I mean. But imagine being a young Gen Z-er, you've got to pay for the insurance,

you've got to pay for the food, the vet bills. But I don't think it's just a Gen Z thing. Like every person when they leave home and goes flatting is like, let's get a cat. It's not like a new thing. No. And the SPCA says this all the time. It's Christmas time.

All the time. All the time at Christmas, they're like a pet is a all the time, mate. It's Christmas time. All the time. All the time at Christmas, they're like, a pet is a choice you have to make. It's for life. It's for life. Like, you cannot just get one willy-nilly because it's cute. Also, if you think about, like, Instagram dogs, those dogs, like Pomeranians and all that kind of stuff. Spinnies.

Grooming. Oh, yeah, true, yeah. Like, you've got to take them to get groomed, look after their teeth, their paws, their fur. Have their anal glands milked. Have their anal glands milk yeah, true. You've got to take them to get groomed, look after their teeth, their paws, their fur. Have their anal glands milked. Have their anal glands milked, exactly. I'm sorry, but if you're getting a dog what? Yeah. My friend has a

Bichon freeze and it gets its period. A white Bichon? Yeah, my dog. That dog is leaving the party with its collar wrapped around its ass area. Are there dog tampons? I don't think there's dog tampons. Where's the vagina?

Why don't all female dogs menstruate? Is it the chop when you get them spayed or something that negates the... Yeah. So this is a... Maybe she's just raw dogging it out there. But this is the thing. My friend got a Bichon freeze when she was like 20. You know what I mean? Because she's always dreaming of having a Bichon freeze and now she's the thing. My friend got a Bichon Frise when she was like 20. You know what I mean?

Because she's always dreaming of having a Bichon Frise and now she's got a job so she got a Bichon Frise. That's not a dog you always dream of having. I'm sorry. It is.

The dizzying heights of Bichon ownership. No. Bichons are dumb. They're so dumb. They're known to be dumb. Yeah. But this one menstruates.

I mean, what a nightmare. Imagine like, I don't know how often, but you'd just be like. You're like, B menstruates. I mean, what a nightmare. Imagine like, I don't know how often, but you'd just be like. You're like, Bichon, I'd be like, no thanks. I don't menstruate.

I'd be like, double, triple, triple. Yeah, a female Bichon. It's a no from me. A female menstruating Bichon. No, thank you. Anyway, if you are thinking of ever getting a pet,

you've got to really think about how much you can afford it for 18 years. Yeah, producer Jarrah's just sent through the Trixie protective pants, which are nappy undies for menstruating dogs. If you thought your Bichon couldn't look stupider,

it's time to put on some undie pants. That's for when they have like a, you know, a stroke or something and they can't control their bowels anymore. Oh, put it out of its misery. Yeah. The top six. No, no, darling. It's. Oh, put it out of its misery. Yeah. The top six. No, no, darling.

It's menstruating. Put it out of its misery. No, I meant if it had a stroke. Send it off to a farm. It's got its period. Come on. Off we go, kids. Say goodbye.

The top six is next. The top six waster. Cool the horn. That's not badminton. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six.

Hello there. Hong Kong is telling teenagers fight sexual temptation by playing badminton. Get out there. Shuttlecock. You've got sort of a nice light Sort of Wind through the air Have you seen how

Quick Dude How unsatisfying Is it to whack As hard as you can In badminton And you go And it goes

There's no return For the whack No No return for the whack There's no return on whack Whereas Yeah Tennis or cricket

You hit it out of the park Big whack Big whack Golf Golf Golf Wack on golf Well actually Tennis I'm going to remove tennis of the park Big whack Big whack Golf Golf Golf Wack on golf Well actually tennis

I'm going to remove tennis Because you don't want to Whack it that hard No Or you want to whack it down Yeah you want to It's all about angles On the tennis isn't it

Yeah Well a 15 year old This article starts A 15 year old girl And her boyfriend Are studying alone Together on a hot summer day When she removes her jacket

And clings to his shoulder What should he do Kiss the shoulder In Hong Kong Kiss the shoulder But it's his shoulder, what should he do? Kiss the shoulder. In Hong Kong. Kiss the shoulder. But it's his shoulder. Okay, you're... What should he do?

Kiss her head. She kisses the shoulder. Old horny novels over here. First thing she does, kiss the shoulder. Well, in Hong Kong, the authorities advise the young man to continue studying or to seek a diversion, including playing badminton, to avoid premarital sex and other intimate behaviours. That's not going to work.

That's the government speaking, isn't it, over there? What's the predominant... Big government speak. What's the predominant religion in Hong Kong? Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Christianity, Islam. Confucianism? Yeah, that's... The whole time you're like, I don't know what's going on.

I'm so Confucianist. But I'm here. Itanism. Yeah, that's... The whole time you're like, I don't know what's going on. I'm so Confucianist. But I'm here. It's got everything. Mixed bag. Large number. Yeah. Well, I've got the top six ways to cool the horn. This is great.

Cool the horn. Cool the horn. I mean, we can all take this advice. Absolutely. Maybe you've been listening to your horny books. Too much. Too much. Maybe I need a break.

How do I cool the horn, Vaughn? Number six on the list. Go and see your grandparents. Dead. Well, they're dead. Well, that should actually kill the horn if you go to the cemetery. Shouldn't it? I mean, you're right.

Not a horny place. Go and see them in Ryman or their house and just chat about the old days and they'll tell you how depressing it is. They'll probably drop a couple of slurs. Homophobic, transphobic, racist. All your favorite phobics. All your isms. Sizist. What's that? Sizist. Oh, big sizobic, racist, all your favourite phobics. All your isms. Sizist.

What's that? Sizist. Oh, big sizist. Yeah, shoot, they've been feeding you well. You've been in a good paddock, that's what I'm saying. You've been in a good paddock. You've been in a good paddock. Farmers, eh?

That's farmers. You've had too much grass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been on the good stuff. And if they're dead, if you go to the cemetery, that should immediately kill the horn. Yeah, okay. Immediately kill it.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to cool the horn. Be in a relationship with someone you aren't sexually attracted to. That'll kill the horn. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. So you go and seek this out? She takes her jacket off and lays on your shoulder and you're like, ugh.

You don't want to kiss that shoulder. Don't want to kiss that shoulder now. Pull back a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yuck. Get that manky face off my shoulder. Yeah, yeah. I love yuck. Get that manky face off my shoulder. Yeah, yeah. I love you.

Love you too. Number four on the list of the top six ways to cool the horn that isn't playing badminton. Watch a sad movie. Oh, yep. Schindler's List.

Classic. Oh, you went... I was thinking... Boy in the striped pyjamas. You went Holocaust. You went Holocaust. I was going to start with a light bit

of like Marley and Me. Oh, okay. Pet death versus Holocaust. Oh, sorry. I went straight to strong pyjamas. That's okay because you're very horny, so that's what you need. I need, yeah, that's exactly. You need the darkest content.

You balance your sadness with your horn level. Yeah. The hornier you are, the sadder the film needs to be. It's got to be. Number three on the list of the top six ways to cool the horn, pop off to church. Disclaimer, that hasn't worked for everybody. No.

This is true. That hasn't worked. Can't pray the horn away. Not all the time. Especially if you've got a hot pastor. Oh, my God. I mean, we've all seen Fleabag. Oh, yeah, true.

Yeah. What was his one? Andrew Scott. Hot priest. Hot priest. He ruined it for us. He said, down on your knees at one stage. That was the line that got all the ladies.

Get on your knees. Yeah. Well, now you're in the middle of the top six. You've brought the horn back. Okay, number two. I'll kill the horn. I'll kill the horn. Number two on the top six ways to cool the horn or kill the horn.

Play an unsexy sport. Like badminton. It's got the word like shuttlecock. Yeah, I know. You're like. Bad. Bad man. Bad man. Yeah. You know. You're like, ah! It's bad. Bad man. Bad man.

Yeah. And you're doing the spanking motions too much. Yeah, it's not an unsexy sport. Well, what's an unsexy sport? Curling. Nah, there's something precise. They're hitting the spot. You know, they wear it.

Someone sweeps it. That's the spot. Lawn bowls. Nah, again, you're hitting the tiny little white. Oh, yeah. Oh, darts. Darts. No, darts is hot. No, darts is hitting the tiny little white. Oh, yeah. Darts. No, darts is hot.

No, darts is hitting the spot as well. You're picking everything that represents absolutely hitting the spot. Yeah, right, okay. Men who are famously great at missing the spot. You're naming sports where they're great at hitting the spot. Unsexy sports. Okay. Oh, my God.

There's a lot of Reddit threads. Top answer, darts. That's insane. Those big burly men with their beer in their hand. Yeah, smoking a cig. What about males in can I swim in? What about snooker? Oh no, that's hot.

Oh, because he's bending over the table. And they're like... And ramming into the pocket. Yeah. Got their balls out. Put your balls in the pocket. Long shaft. Yeah.

They've chalked the tip. What about when they chalk the tip? That's really hot. I They've chalked the tip. I'm saying chalk the tip. That's really hard. I find golf quite unattractive. Because it takes so long? Takes so long. Yeah, but then they're putting it in the hole.

Oh God. They're putting it in the hole but it takes so long for them to get there. Yeah. You're almost thinking of patting them on the head and telling them it's okay.

I've got it. Some of them can't find it. I've got it. And they're in the rough. Power walking. Oh. Yes. Okay.

But yeah. Bit of a prance. But then the arse is like. I know yes. Unsexy. Okay. But, yeah. Bit of a prance. But then the arse is like. I know, but they've got a booty. They've got a booty back there and it's like. And those legs are nice. Is there an unsexy sport? No, the horn's still on.

Number one better sort this out. I'm going to sort that. The number one way to cool the horn? Yep. Play the horn. Yep, it's gone. Because I said play the horn. Yep.

Oh, no, I meant, it wasn't me saying play the horn. It was me saying just play with it. Get it done. Get on with your day. I went to French horn. Oh, no, no. I'm having. Get in there.

Play with yourself. Play with yourself. Get out of the way. Get on with your day. Because if you're thinking about it, you're going to be distracted all day. Your productivity is through the floor. Take 15 minutes. Crank it out.

15. Get back to the job. New skincare TikTok trend that I've actually seen. It's come up on my feed a lot, but I am yet to try it. It is supposed to give you glass skin. If you don't know glass skin, it's like the Korean skincare dream.

Korean fried chicken. That's not going to give you glass skin, hon. Is that when you wring out Korean fried chicken and smear the fat on your face? You glaze yourself. You glaze yourself with honey.

I, I trust the Koreans. I trust the Koreans. Hyundai. Yep. Fried chicken. Samsung. Samsung.

Skincare. Other things. Skin. Now, so I'm willing to add a fourth. Yeah, skincare. Skincare. But Korean skincare is like amazing. Is that why people go crazy for like the Korean skincare shops? skin care skin now so i'm willing to add a fourth yeah skin care and skin care but korean skin care is like amazing is that why like people go crazy for like the korean skin care shops yeah yeah they

just go insane but some of the products are quite expensive and they are claiming that garlic can do the same thing which is this glass skin which is this really like radiant clear tight skin i currently have a full face rash and parts of my face are peeling off. I don't know what's happened. You can't tell. I know, but it's very textured and sore. Anyway, so garlic is the trend. And it's either rubbing raw cloves of garlic over your skin, like raw bulbs.

Could you use the pottles at the supermarket of like crushed garlic? Surely they don't have preservatives in it though. Yeah, it would. I wouldn't get garlic. I always check get garlic. I always check my garlic because remember that story we heard about the Chinese garlic? They grow it in human feces. I feel that was just something people said though.

Nah. Is it real though? There was a company. Do you know the vast amount of garlic you buy is from China? Yeah, and it says on there product of the PRC and you're like, perfect. Well, that's not China. Yeah, but it is. It's the People's is from China. Yeah, and it says on there, product of the PRC, and you're like, perfect. Well, that's not China. Yeah, but it is. It's the People's Republic of China. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gotcha. Gotcha. I'm onto you, China. Got ya. So you either rub garlic all over your face, or you ingest, like you swallow whole cloves of garlic, and it's supposed to heal things like hormonal acne. Swallow whole cloves? Or just put it in your cooking. I know.

No, it's got to be raw garlic, raw dog, whole clove down the throat. Now as someone who's had a lot of hormonal acne before because of PCOS, I've looked at this and people have said like, have you tried the garlic? And you're like, okay, no. And then

dermatologists have come out being like, once again, zero studies that prove that garlic, I mean, garlic probably has some health benefits, especially in Chinese medicine. It's really good for you to eat. Yeah. Definitely good for you. Yeah, but there are no studies.

But then rubbing it on your face, you're going to stink. And would it sting? I would have thought so. Do you know, I've been chucking garlic in the air fryer Just like cloves of garlic in the air fryer When they go like little Almost like crunchy Crunchy on the outside and gooey in the middle

Yum I got some bread, some fresh bread And you rubbed it on didn't you And smeared it on I'm all smeared on I'm already smeared up and on. Shit, it's good though. That's good stuff. I think what they're doing is because garlic has antibacterial properties.

Right. And if you've got acne, sometimes that can be a bacterial thing. Like sometimes with acne, taking a round of antibiotics can really help. Have you tried washing your face? Oh my God. When I first had hormonal acne, the amount of people that were like, have you changed your pillowcase? And you're like, yeah, man When I first had hormonal acne, the amount of people that were like, have you changed your pillowcase? And you're like, yeah, man, I have actually.

Hey, thanks for the advice. I do actually regularly change my pillowcase. Yeah. But, yeah, a lot of dermatologists. Is that why people take like a, what is that antibiotic, Doxy? Doxycycline once a day? Yeah. Why did you say what's that antibiotic and then you knew exactly its medical name?

No, because I know people call it Doxy. Doxy. Doxycycline. Yeah. Doxycycline? Cyclone. Because I took it for malaria prevention and I had amazing skin. I was like, oh, my God, great.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. But it also makes you, it can make your skin like sensitive to the sun. Oh, I remember that. It's like, it's like Accutane. It has the same kind of, like, yeah, it makes you really sensitive to the sun and you've

got to like look after your skin and it makes your skin a bit more fragile. Better than rubbing garlic on your face. Yeah, I don't know. Look, if you want to try it, I think it won't hurt you. Do you know what I mean? It's just natural garlic and stuff, but then you'll reek. Yeah. Like bad breath.

Then you're just going to have to have a shower and clean your face. Yeah. Though I don't mind the smell of garlic. I don't either. Especially if it's on a mama fear rallies. Yeah, that's high quality garlic. That's your high quality garlic and your high quality margarine. Garbage garlic.

Yeah. Silly Little Pole What Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole, what's your favourite season? Summer, autumn, winter, spring. Oh. I mean, you... Summer, but then maybe spring? I'm just happy to be alive. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, you don't mind either. Happy to be alive. I mean, people love winter because of the fash. I love winter because of the fash, but I got no winter fash this year. It was not cold enough. Not cold enough. Well, yeah, and then some people live in actual cold, like snow all the time.

Yeah, I know. Where? 1971. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah. You'd have to go summer, right? The beach. Yeah, I love summer, but spring's beautiful.

Autumn's beautiful. Spring rules. I voted for spring. Are we officially in spring this weekend? Nah's beautiful. Autumn's beautiful. Spring rules. I voted for spring. Are we officially in spring this weekend? Nah, well. There's two. Yeah. Sunday.

There's like the calendar spring, but then there's also the actual equinox, which is in a couple of weeks. Yeah. Either way, we're close. And five weeks away from daylight savings. Five weekends. Oh, I need to get curtains, eh? God, I need to get curtains.

You've got five weeks to get curtains. Far out. We've moved into the actual master bedroom now and it's no curtains. Okay. Sleep masks? Warehouse sheets. Yeah, I've got a sleep mask. Yeah. Number four is winter

with 5%. Wow. The least favourite. Yep. Autumn is the third at 17%. Spring coming in second, 27%, but 51% of people said summer is their favourite season. Oh, yeah. Okay. And we live in a nice country for summer.

It's not like Dubai. No, yeah. We've got to stay indoors the whole bloody time. Yet. We are working on that climate, though. Yeah, we are. Dylan said winter because snow, beanies, comfy clothes, and bedtime cuddles without dying of overheating.

Yeah. Fair call. Yuck. Courtney says, I'm a cusp season girly. I voted spring because lambs and blossoms but autumn also has a place in my heart. Summer's the worst. I friggin' hate being a sweaty betty. Yeah, I'm a sweaty betty.

And like the daffodils and the daffodil daffodils. It's daffodil day today? It is daffodil day today. Oh my god, we're doing a big donation station. I went outside before and saw all the daffodils. I said, oh, my God, I love all these daisies. Producer Carmen was like, it's Daffodil Day. There are clues in the title.

I know. That's why flowers have been used. I've lost my mind. Cooper says, you can always warm up by adding layers. You can't strip off. Yeah, true. And they're saying they don't like summer. They can't control the temperature,

but winter is the best, they say. Cool. Thanks for that, Messenger. Messenger just did that thing where if you don't click exactly on the right arrow because it's disappeared because you haven't moved your mouse for long enough, the whole thing disappears.

Anyway, that's my problem to deal with and I've dealt with it very professionally. It feels like we didn't need to be brought into that. Yeah. Sophie said, summer equals hay fever. Spring equals hay fever. Winter equals sickness. Autumn equals the best.

Fair enough. So it's the best because she's the least sick. Sneezy. Okay, and sneezy, yeah. Isaac says, summer but winter is a close second. Autumn is by far the worst. Gray skies, cold temperatures, trees are looking haggard. It's Mother Nature's annual bout of depression.

They're about to be all like, you know, like branchy. Yeah. Naked. New shoots. Kirstie said spring because it's the furthest away from stupid winter. It's not. Kirstie, here's how the seasons work. No, but she's got a point.

Is that you're going to have to wait the longest to get to winter when it's spring. Oh. That's her thing. Some is the furthest away. Yeah, but some is the farthest. Because there's spring and autumn in between them. Not looking forward. It's not.

Not looking forward or back. Either way. Unidirectional. Also pretty flowers in spring. Devon said winter because of toasty fires, comfy clothes, hot cups of tea. Delicious. Hot cups of tea. One of the bosses of one of the largest airlines in the world,

Ryanair. Oh, my God. Budget airline. Yep. Michael O'Leary is calling for a two drinks per passenger limit at airport bars. I'm calling for the immediate firing. Before you get on the plane.

Before you... We're going to breathalyze you. I'm not getting... I'm not bored. Well, that's the thing. It'll come down to the bars. Look, I don't mean to encourage, you know, drinking to excess,

but that's one of my favourite things to do at an airport. Well, you're going on holiday. You have a couple of drinks at the airport before you go, don't you? If you're lucky enough to be in a lounge, you can have a couple of bubbles. There's bars in every airport. Bars everywhere. You don't need to be in a lounge.

No, I know. I walk my way around. But also, this guy's in charge of the airport that most often takes Brits to, like, Spain, Portugal, Italy, France. You can blame the Brits for this. But, yeah, they're saying, and it's not just, like, rowdy passengers. It's,'s like actual physical assaults that are happening. He's saying on

a weekly basis and a lot of the time on cabin crew. Yeah, you're right though, Vaughan. It's those rowdy Brits heading off to either Spain or Ibiza or something like that and then they're going, they're taking it too far, getting on in a big group, starting to brawl.

Rowdy, rowdy, rowdy. Rowdy, rowdy, rowdy. And that's it. Yeah. I think they've banned bottles of, you know, like, duty-free on the planes as well. Are people supping from the duty-free? I don't think you can. You're not supposed to sup.

It's definitely frowned upon to sup from the duty-free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've considered it when the stewardess has been a little bit slow. Or light-handed. Yeah, bit slow. Or light-handed. Yeah, or a little bit light-handed. He's saying that when they're flying to party destinations like Ibiza, the crew have taken to searching bags of passengers for bottles of vodka because he's like, those are the flights where that's happening the most.

Yeah. Well. Yeah. I mean, if you start Searching the bags On the way to Ibiza You're gonna find A whole lot of things

That probably shouldn't be on the line If you go looking for trouble Yeah You'll find it You'll bloody find it alright Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley It's the final rankings We do this every Friday

We rank things Today It's Father's Day gifts Because it's Father's Day gifts because it's Father's Day on Sunday. Yeah. I just thought of the lotto ticket as a good one. Yeah, great. It's a classic dad gift.

So, are we going non-specific dad gifts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just for your dad. No, it's not. If your dad's got a hobby, then you go for a hobby. But this is when you don't know. General. Yeah, like if your dad was into golf, you'd probably get him some nice golf balls, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of my tees. I mean, your fragrance. Fragrance is great. But my mum kind of sorts out my dad with that. I would go for my dad, I'd do baking. I'd bake him a bit of ginger crunch. Oh, you've never baked me ginger crunch.

You're not her father. Yeah, but I love ginger crunch. You're not her father. Yeah, but I love ginger crunch. You're not me father. It's me top slice. I know. It's my dad's top slice. And when, because I was like broke for years, I would never be able to get my dad anything.

So I would make him a really good ginger crunch. With ingredients that he had paid for and put into his pantry. With money that I may have rung him earlier to say, hey, can I borrow a little bit of money? Right. And then I would go buy flour. But I put like nice crystallised ginger and I'm talking like advanced. Oh. Actually, I don't like crystallised ginger on my ginger slices. We're moving on the top. Yeah, I know.

Why do you like trash ginger? He likes bakery. I don't like crystallised ginger as top tier ginger. I'd rather powder ginger in my ginger slice. I don't want, it's too much of a concentrated. Do you know what it is for him? It forms a ginger. Do you know what it is for him?

It's too spicy. It's too spicy. It's too spicy. Crystalised ginger's too spicy. Get it. People that put it in the ice, get it out. Oh, no. Yum.

I know my slices. Yeah. Okay. So you're saying baking? I'm saying baking is, I don't know, it's at least number two, if not number one. Socks and undies? Like, would you be upset if... Socks? Good socks, though.

Your girls got you... No, not at all. But they need to be good socks. What do you usually get? Is there a theme or is it different? Well, you've got some nerd socks. You've got some Star Wars nerd socks. You've got some Star Wars socks.

Lotto ticket's great. Lotto ticket. Bottle of whiskey. Yeah, nice. I think. I sometimes write my dad a poem because we've always been... I know, it's so weird. See, I was just going to say that's sad.

Don't be mad. I hope you're glad. I am a very lucky girl to have a dad like you. If I did not have you as my dad, I don't know what I'd do. You know, stuff like that. The problem is my kids, if I said I want a poem, which would be a weird thing to say,

they'd just AI it now. Oh, would they? In fact, I said I want a poem, which would be a weird thing to say, they'd just AI it now. Oh, would they? They'd be like, can you AI it? In fact, I'll AI up a dad poem. Okay. And then everybody can use that. Okay. Save you using GPT.

That's so budget from you. So, lottery ticket, bottle of spirits, but then if dad doesn't drink. Yeah. You know, chalky. His favourite chalky that he doesn't have to share. He's under no obligation to share. Yep. What about if your dad's a corporate man?

Like my dad used to, it was a tie. I'll get him a tie. Oh, yeah. Especially in the 90s, wacky tie. Yep. You know, wacky tie. Maybe it's Bart Simpson on it or something. Oh, my God.

And he'd never wear it because he couldn't be taken seriously wearing a... A bar a silver. Or a Cartman T-shirt from South Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Respect my fat tat. Okay, I'm going to go number one poem. What? Craig Sproul, you are the best.

How lucky we all are. Craig Sproul, you are my dad. For the man who taught me how to shine, on this day I pause and reflect on a man so grand with love so direct. Dad, you've been my guiding star, lending me close, though I've wandered far. Leading me close? I want a...

If I was a dad, I'd want some kind of financial investment in my prison. I don't want some shitty poem. I thought you were saying you wanted a financial investment as a prison. Dad, I bought you some stocks. I brought you a thousand units here. About it.

Okay. I'm going to go. Number one, poem. Number two, ginger crunch. Number three, new barbecue tools. Oh, yeah, barbecue tools. I'd go new barbecue tools. Especially in New Zealand because they're heading into spring.

I'd go lotto ticket, booze, barbecue tongs. Or baking. Yeah. Yeah, Vaughn? I'd go Lotto Ticket, booze, barbecue tongs, or baking. Yeah. Yeah, Vaughan? I'd go Lotto Ticket, a block of his favourite chocolate that he doesn't have to share. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And a bottle of booze.

So just the things you want, basically, if your family are listening right now. Uh-huh. Whitaker's coconut, and I don't want to have to share. Be more specific. Like, if your family's listening right now, you can literally ask for anything you want. Yeah. A nice bottle of whiskey, maybe your family's listening right now, you can literally ask for anything you want. Yeah. A nice bottle of whiskey, maybe a little bit more than an usual budget.

Hyundai or something, yeah. Yeah, maybe something Japanese. Yeah, Japanese whiskey. Japanese whiskey. And just to be left. To be left alone. To be left alone. Yeah, early Father's Day present tonight.

To be left alone so I might pirate the seas with my chums. So, guys, I'm not the seas with my chum. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. So, guys, I'm not thumbing in a promo here for myself. That's not what's happening here. But I would like to just remind people. That's exactly what someone who's about to thumb in a promo would say. Absolutely not. But it's in relation to the story. Okay.

That yesterday it was announced that I am doing a return season in Auckland from the 3rd to the 5th of October at Q Theatre book tickets at qtheatre.co.nz wait that sounded like thumbing in a prize

no no no what part of that was this just naturally how I speak okay three nights only if you missed it this is your final chance

to see Wild Flutters my Fred Award nominated show from Comedy Fest earlier in the year in Auckland at Q Theatre. Book at qtheatre.co.nz. I saw it in New Plymouth only weeks ago

and I chuckled. And you saw it, that was the second time you saw it. I've only seen it once. Once was enough for me. Well, you can come to the return season

by booking at www.qtheatre.co.nz. I want to take tickets from people who missed out the first time. Well, there's three nights and it's a big theatre so you know

I've been ambitious here and it'll be nice to see it fill up. But also at 12 o'clock yesterday afternoon I did actually mention as well I am coming to Dunedin finally

on the 12th of October and you can book that through ticketmaster dot co.nz for my show Wild Flutters. Now I announced it

with a big day on socials yesterday. All sorts. I was on my Reno page doing some announcements. I was on my own page doing some announcements. And when you do a show, I always say link in bio for tickets, right? Yeah. And you can have a link.

But now that I'm doing two shows, I had to put in a second link. So one for Auckland Tickets, again, qthera.co.nz, and one for Dunedin, Ticketmaster.co.nz. And that wasn't me thumbing. I wasn't thumbing in a promo. You're really thumbing in a promo here. I'm not at all. This is how I talk

all the time. That didn't even feel like a gentle thumbing, that felt like just a ramming. No, I don't, this is how I talk to you all the time. Promo ram.

Whenever we're chatting, I'm always chucking in full websites and full links for you to go if you want to see something. Yeah. But anyway, I went to my Instagram bio to add in the second link

and I ran out of numbers. Like I ran out of characters that I could put on my bio. Right. Because it was too long. Now it used to be comedian, actor and marching girl. Then I had to put in Taskmaster New Zealand Season 5 because that's, you know, happening at the moment. You can catch that on TVNZ Plus and catch up next week for episodes 9 and 10.

That kind of sounds like you're thumbing... On TVNZ 2 at 7.30 Tuesday and Wednesday. I bet you put two thumbs in and you pulled it open. I didn't do that at all. I'm not hooking my fingers. You're pulling it off and you're pulling it right. No, I'm just... My lips are burning.

I had to mention in relation to the story that I'm on Taskmaster and it airs Tuesdays and Wednesdays 7.30 on 2. I'm not thumbing. How are you fitting all of this into the Instagram bio? You've thumbed so much into this promo. So then it used to say after that,

comedian, actor, marching girl, Taskmaster New Zealand season five, hear me at FVHZM. Yep. Follow my reno at Mill Cottage Reno and you can follow my renovation page at Mill Cottage Reno. Don't thumb that in.

That's three fingers. I'm just doing a renovation of my house at the moment and you can follow that on Instagram. It's almost like we're working with Simone Anderson here. Where is the hashtag? Hashtag gifted, hashtag ad, hashtag non-spon.

Anyway, because I had to put in the seasons for Auckland and Dunedin and then the links, I did have to make some cuts to the bio. Well, obviously actor because you haven't acted in anything for so long. And you haven't marched in a while. Yeah, you've retired from marching.

Did you get rid of those? No, comedian, actor and marching girl's still there. And then Taskmaster New Zealand season five, because that's big. That's a big moment. This time next week. Yeah. Dumb.

Well, I'll probably keep it up for a year or so for the next Taskmaster cast. You've cut us, the show. I've cut FVHZM from my bio. Wow. That is ruthless. You've actually been cut.

Well, Vaughan and I decided we would make some changes to the FVHZM bio if you just go to that now. What? Has he? Oh my God. Hang on.

If you could just read out the FVH. Well, no, let's let Hayley read it out. Okay. New Zealand flag, New Zealand radio show. Live on ZM online, 6 till 9am. Voiced by FletchNZ and Vaughan Anonymous and no one else angry face.

Two can play at this game. How dare you cut me from the ZM bio? Put me back in the bio. Put us back in your bio. But I don't have room. Back in the day, we used to call this a Mexican standoff. Now, I wouldn't call it that now because that's inappropriate. We'll just call it an ambiguous standoff.

A parky house standoff. Are you allowed to say that? I'll call it a threesome standoff. Okay, it's a threesome standoff. We can't. It's too sexually explicit. Okay. I can't believe I've been cut from the FVH.

Cut the marching and the actor. No, but that's very, I mean, it's a cool comedian actor marching girl. First up, marching is not like, you do it and you like it. But I wouldn't say it's going to really pull in the followers. It's not going to pull in a follower on Instagram. So how long is this staying up until I put you back in my bio? Yeah. Well, that's going to be until November.

So why don't you get one of those link things that people have? Link and buyer. Links all the different things. Yeah, I know. Link tree. You've got to set up the thing at the

other end, don't you? Oh yeah, and then you've got to join OnlyFans as well. Yeah. So absolute hassle. Am I going to make a bit of money there

because I'm not used to it? Yeah, because if I've only got two links in my link tree, shame. This radio show, one of them's

your OnlyFans. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, and only one of them is making you any money and it's your OnlyFans. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, and only one of them is making you any money. And it's not OnlyFans. How? I would make money on OnlyFans, Bourne. You make a little bit. She does have long feet.

I've got good feet. You make a little bit. Long but not too long in the toe. Size 10. Not hairy. Slim. Rashy. Strong.

Rashy. No rash on the feet Only the face today Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley Play ZM An Australian influencer

Riley Henson She's got into running Yeah She's got into running A lot of people are doing it on Instagram as well At the moment Getting into running And that's kind of her thing

And then she has Dredged up the beep test and it has kind of kicked off this thing online where Australians and now Kiwis are remembering the horror that was the beep test at school. Because everybody, everybody had to do it. Yeah. I think the last one I did I would have been 14 or 15 and then after that

I stopped going to PA. I did it here at work there's a bit of black tape still that's never come off the tile. That was from marking out 20 metres for the beep test. So you run and go back and then when you hear the beep you go again right and you're just trying to get faster and faster. You get two

chances to make it up before you have to bow out. I can't find the audio of like the OG beep test. Because I can hear the sound. Yeah. So I found the multi-stage fitness test will start in five seconds. That's not it.

The one that we had didn't have that thick Aussie accent. No. The 20 metre bleep test. Bleep? That's British and they-metre bleep test. Bleep? Bleep. For a start, that's British and they call it the bleep test. Silly idiots. Bleep? How embarrassing. How embarrassing.

Go back to the Aussie one. Maybe it's the same beep, so. Oh, it's the same beeps, but I want that same, that voice. I don't remember the voice. Do you not remember the voice? It was like a, wasn't it like a level two? Yeah. Yes.

Like almost pre. In five seconds. No, that's not it. What is all these Australians re-voicing the beep test? It was like almost pre-Siri automated. Yes. In five seconds. Nah, that's not it. What is all these Australians re-voicing the beep test? It was like almost pre-Siri automated. Yes. Start level one. No, it wasn't Hemistree friendly.

It was. It was robotically terrifying. Like an overlord voice. It was like an overlord voice. The test will begin in five seconds. It was horrible though. I don't think anybody ever looked forward to doing PE. Did they? The PE kids were doing it.

PE was the worst part of school for me. I used to always lie. I mean, I was lucky to have a uterus because you just lie. Oh, yeah. Not going swimming, got bacteria. I feel uncomfortable. I'm not doing that. I once lied and said I had a knee injury and then I had to go and get an x-ray

and it didn't hurt at all. And then I ended up on crutches for two weeks. So that was a waste of time. I missed a marching competition and everything. It was like terrible. Yeah, it was the worst. Swimming was the worst part of PE. But the fact was-

Because you had to get changed and wet. Yeah. Yeah, because didn't you have a bad experience at swimming? Yeah, the girl called me chubby. Oh, babe. I've chubby. Oh, babe. I've never forgotten. Oh, Vaughan. Oh, Vaughan.

It wasn't like cute chubby either. It was like, oh, you are chubby. Oh, Vaughan. Yeah. But now I'm just fat. So we all evolve, you know. Now we have daddy. Have you followed her up on Facebook?

You bet. Okay. Yeah. Good to know. Well, I thought of daddy. Have you followed her up on Facebook? You bet. Okay. Good to know. Well, I think this is a question we need to ask. Like, what was the worst thing about school? High school, primary school or both? Oh, both. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, speeches. Loved it. Loved it. One every year. I hated them. No problem. You win every year. Of course win every year Of course you did Of course you did

Yeah yeah yeah I was big into it I loved it It was the beginning Of my stand up comedy career Before I ever knew That that's what I was doing Yeah

Yeah So no I didn't I loved that You probably weren't Hitting the same content You are now Standing up in fourth form You guys wanna hear

About my vagina? Teacher's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cut, cut, cut, cut. We're all doing the beep test. What's it do with hotel rooms? Am I right? I'm going to get in there. Okay, okay, pass.

But just get off the stage. Okay, well, maybe it was PE, the beep test. Maybe it was swimming. They're still doing the beep test, by the way. School teacher made my year seven or eight students run the beep test every week. They love it. Every week? Every week.

No, it was like once a term, wasn't it? And you marked, that was how you got your grade in PE. It was how much you'd improved. It's gone a lot worse since we left school. It has. Everyone's got quite, you know, probably a good idea. Okay, 0800- The kids have to put down their vape to do the beep test.

Oh, my lungs. I'm just going to have a hoon on my blueberry. Let's do this thing. Okay, 0800DARLS at MSN number. Give us a call. You can text through 9696. Primary and or high school, what was the worst thing about school? We want to know what was the worst part of school

because everyone's been drudging up the beep test. Horrible. Apparently, they're still doing the beep test at some schools. But then some student teachers text in saying they're not because it puts kids off PE. Yeah, because it's the worst thing. Suck it up. Give it a blat.

Like, who cares? I mean, the unfit people care. That comes from a solid level four guy. I wasn't making the all-backs with that care. That comes from a solid level four guy. I didn't even know. That was pathetic. Yeah. Yeah, but someone always pushed it too hard and had a spewy, eh? Remember, did anyone ever have a Chinese?

No, we never had any spewies. No. We had a couple of solid Chinese after the beep test, just pushing it too hard. You just never wanted to be the first to drop out. Yeah. You just needed to hang on long enough to be in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

These two messages are literally stacked on top of each other on the text machine. The worst thing about school was the teachers. The one literally about that. The worst thing about school is the kids. From a teacher. From a teacher. Someone said, I'm a

year 7-8 teacher. Tell me what? You've just planned my lesson for the day. I'm just going to make them all do the beep test. Vicky, what was the worst thing about school? Oh, it was definitely gym class and trying to do the rope climb with my little sparrow arms. Oh, that was crazy,

eh, that rope? Did you say sparrow arms? No muscles at the age of 11. That's where you've gone wrong. Sparrows have got wings. No, the little legs. Oh, yeah, sparrow legs.

It is wild that they were, like, yeah, asking, like, 11-year-olds to climb to the top of, like, the whole roof up a massive right. Yeah. And I'm short as Catholic girls. You know what bitches they are. As a reformed Catholic girl. Yeah.

And let you slander her. Amazing that the Catholic girls were allowed to climb those ropes pregnant. But anyway, we do digress. Vicky, thank you. Some more messages. Someone said speeches and PE were the single two worst parts. Yeah. Somebody else said

they're a teacher and whenever the speech is coming up, a kid just took three weeks off. Fair enough. To avoid. Glang, got glandular fever.

Yeah, but a glang do you reckon? Yeah. Working from home. Yeah, I did the speech at home. Mum loved it. Yeah,

she loved it. She laughed, man, she laughed. Mum was a big fan. The worst thing about our primary school was they wouldn't let you

go and play unless you'd eaten your sandwiches and fruit. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. That's cool. And if you didn't have a hat, you had to sit under the sunshade. Oh, no hat.

Yeah. Someone said, oh, the worst thing about school was my lunch got stolen most days. Oh. Bullied. Who's stealing your lunch? You were bullied. Yeah. Mufti Day.

Oh, yes. It was the worst. It was really. I saw that as an opportunity to express myself. Yeah. Yeah, but you probably had all the nice clothes I saw that as an opportunity to express myself. Yeah, but you probably had all the nice clothes. You probably had nice clothes. You were allowed to wear a Marilyn Manson shirt to a religious

high school. Yeah. I was expressing myself. Somebody said the worst part about school is the pressure to have a cool Roxy pencil case. Oh my God, made out of neoprene. Yes. Yep. Beautiful material.

Or rip curl if you want. Yeah, or rip curl or billabong for boys. Roxy for girls. Roxy, yeah, yeah. I love this text. I'm a ganger. Hated getting burnt to a crisp on sports day in the non-sun smart 1970s wearing teeny Adidas toweling shorts.

Toweling shorts. Toweling shorts. Not good for a run. No, that's safe on those ones. Bring back toweling shorts. Nope. Don't Not good for a run. No, that's chaff on those ones. Bring back toweling shorts. Nope. Don't. No one's calling for it.

No one's called for it. No one's asked. I don't even think toweling belongs in any form of clothing, hat included. Yeah. Unless it is a towel. Like a hooded towel is the only thing toweling should be. Yeah. Worst thing about college was not having the game to hit on the hot student teachers.

Ooh. We had none. Even if you had game. I don't know that that may have been reciprocated For their career longevity Worst thing about school was everybody else had boyfriends and girlfriends And I didn't through the whole thing What about you now? Late bloomer, maybe just a late bloomer I was 6 foot 3 at 13 years old What about you now? Late bloomer, maybe just a late bloomer. Late bloomer.

I was six foot three at 13 years old. Jesus. I was a tall religious white kid growing up in a short brown athletic town. 80% Maldi. 80% Maldi in my school. You'd really be a beacon there, wouldn't you? A big tall white beacon of

non-sportsness. Speeches were the worst for me. I always cried and had to do my speech in the back of the classroom so no one was looking at me. Oh, worst part was my mum was everyone's favourite dean with the parents working at the school. And I think people liked her more than they liked me.

Someone just said history. It is pretty depressing. You don't know the really good things about history. A lot of war. Oh, yeah. A lot of concentration camps. A lot of colonisation. Tons of racism.

Having a small itch on your head in primary school while you're sitting on the mat. You're too scared to itch in case the person behind you says that you've got nits. Remember nits? Yes. Jump rope for heart was the worst. Jump rope for heart was the worst. Jump rope for heart was great

because at the same time, every other primary school kid was out on the tennis court and bare feet whipping their toes with those hard, hard skipping ropes you were given. Yeah. Someone said they were a year seven and eight teacher now

and the kids asked for the beep test and then they said, not as bad as the block run, Hayley. At Queen Margaret's, we had to run around the block past the American Embassy and run around this block and stuff. I used to just sit down.

Have a sit down. Have a sit down. Someone said when Harold the Giraffe would come because everybody else would want to answer his questions, but I wouldn't. So it always meant Harold the Giraffe asked me and I don't want to answer Harold the Giraffe because I was scared of Harold the Giraffe.

He is pretty scary. We do know Harold the Giraffe. We actually know Harold. He's a good friend of ours. Personal friend of ours. Jump Jam. Someone said Jump Jam was the worst part about school. And then someone said, how good was Jump Jam?

Yeah. We've been mixed. Mixed response there. I was a B cup by the time I was 10 or 11. I got teased relentlessly by the intermediate boys. Early bloomer. Just know that all the girls wanted to be you while I was shoving tissues in a

bra that I stole from Jamie Eglinton. What was Jamie Eglinton rocking? Jamie Eglinton had boobies. Did she? And so I went to her house once and I stole her bra. Did she know? I stole her bra and then I went home and I stuffed it with tissues and suddenly, so I went from one day having like a flat mosquito

bite chest to the next day having these whopping boobs. And what do people say? I remember Jamie being like, are you wearing my bra? And I was like, no, I'm just wearing my own bra. These are my breasts, Jamie, don't be jealous. They're light.

Oh my God, light. And I can take them off whenever I want. It's all coming back to me. I had a once in a lifetime opportunity-lifetime opportunity this week, and I grasped it by the horns. And that's why you've been away. I've been away, yeah. I was asked, Meridian Energy asked me if I would like to go to Anchor Island.

And I had not heard of Anchor Island previously. Me too. Previously on Vaughan. No mention of Anchor Island. This is a blank screen, previously on Vaughan No mention of Anchor Island This is a blank screen Previously on Vaughan Which is pretty much Everything on previously on Vaughan

As the computer's like Charging up But overheating at the same time But it is a Kakapo Island The island is Predator free Nothing No rats

No mice No stoats How do they keep it like that? They never got there. Because it's so remote, right? If you look at a map of New Zealand it's the bottom left. The bottom left. Yep.

But what if a bird ate a mouse, grabbed a mouse, a rat or whatever, flew to the island and then was like, I don't want this mouse. And let it go. But it wouldn't be able to breed because there's no other mouse. It would just die.

It would just die. Unless it was pregnant. And do you know what I learned a lot about predators? Yep. Stoats, number one bad guys. Yes. Remember the millions we spent killing that one stoat this year? Money well spent. Oh, 100 how the millions we spent killing that one stoat this year? Money well spent.

Oh, 100%. To get rid of it, because if you meet these birds, when we lose them, we're not giving them back. Nah, they're gone. So stoats, by the time stoats leave like their little burrow, they're often pregnant to their brothers or fathers. Eww. Yuck. If there's a female stoat. Incest. Yeah, I know.

Eww. Brother eww. Let's shame them. Brother eww. Shame them into not doing that at all. Eww, yuck guys, that's so not cool. But yeah, there wasn't, and I got to meet incest yeah I know yeah brother let's shame brother shame them into not doing that at all yeah guys that's so not cool but yeah there wasn't and I got to meet

one of 247 kakapo that are alive wow they're real cute and green dude

like wild I've never heard them called moss chickens before because that's a thing

they must taste delicious well you ask a stoat but don't you dare well they must be because I've never heard them called moss chickens before. Because that's the thing. They must taste delicious. Well, you ask a stoat, but don't you dare. Well, they must be because they're endangered and they used to be everywhere. Who ate them? Stoats, cats. Locals. Locals, yeah.

They were a food source. Killed it. But, yeah. And so I got to meet one and it was amazing and that island's amazing and just, it was phenomenal. Wow. Emotional.

Yeah, I bet. Gotta go into Wally Wopter. I love Wally Wopters. Gotta go into Wally Wopter. I love Wally Wopters. Yeah. It's so important doing that stuff.

I've been so amazed by the work that Doc does recently. And the more you learn, the more you're like, holy moly. Like, it's actually incredible.

I met a lot of most of the people working gen z's sorry i know that's your automatic response sorry it was knee jerk yeah i didn't hear any of that dumb lingo that they're always peddling not or not they're not like this kakapo has riz yeah yeah what, look. We've got the Sigma bird. None of it. Hard working. But wait, they can't go to dock hunts and there's no Wi-Fi. There was Wi-Fi.

Oh, I guess. There was Wi-Fi. They were using it for things like their master's degree. Oh, wow. Wild. Not TikTok dancers. Does this sort of instill a bit of hope for the future? I think there's hope for future generations.

Wow. Not only future generations of humans, but also, thanks to their hard work, the kakapo. When are we going to see? I've got so much video to edit. I've got a lot. A lot.

Oh, my God. I can't wait to see that. We really struggled without you. And I used the long drop. Oh, yeah. How was that? Did you do plopty ploops? Yep. But the worst, and this is again,

it gets me every time when you're going for a long drop in the night time and you're wearing your head torch and you're a guy and you stand to wear and you look down and it's the only time you see the entire contents of a long drop. Oh, because your head tilts. Because the head tilts because you've got to make sure that your urine's going down the hole and you just are like

and you just see a hole and it's just full of poo. It's yuck, it's yuck. It's gross. I've never used a long drop. Have you never used a long drop? No. Radio idea. No, get out. I'm a city girl. Radio idea. We find the country's rankest

long drops. And make Hayley do a poop. And Hayley does poos in each one of them. Play Zed's Fletchford and Hayley. Play Zed's. Now, wech for the nightly. Play Zed-N. Now, we want to talk about Lana Del Rey. You're a big fan, Fletch. You love Lana. Especially her early stuff.

I was a big Lana Del Rey. That's off for me. That's off for me. People love Lana Del Rey. She's got a lot of fans. She's got a big fan base. But the thing that is interesting about Lana at the moment is her dating life

because she's currently dating someone whose job title is alligator tour guide. Like what a job title. It's a great tour guide. In Australia or is he doing it

in like the Louisiana? Louisiana. I did one of these and you go on those swamp boats. I would never do that. Oh my God. Amazing. They'll eat you. Take you through the marshes and the swamps and they know Louisiana I did one of these and you go on those swamp boats I would never do that oh my god amazing they'll eat you

take you through the marshes and the swamps oh no and they know where all the gators are his name is Jeremy Dufresne he's totally got one of those thick Cajun

he'll have one of them Cajun accents yeah she said I think she they met back in 2019 she went on an alligator tour that was given by Dufresne.

And then that was it, basically. They fell in love, started dating. And she's into it. And she is loving that, like, this big, you know, singer and celebrity is dating an alligator tour guide. Is this him with the long hair and the beard and he's really tall? I think so, yeah. Well, thanks for letting me know. That's my type.

Okay, right. Massive, long-haired bear. Yeah, and can drive a swamp boat. And knows who the alligators are. Those are my requirements when it comes to a lover. Must drive swamp boat. No, but you've already met him, Hayley, because here's a photo of you and him.

You're a prick, Vaughn. This is a leathery snapping turtle. Leathery old Scaly I'm getting Botox again You've been mean Ever since I let the Botox wear off you You've done nothing but age shame me

Yeah And I can really see it in your forehead Like that you're angry at me now You can feel my emotions I look forward to the day Of not quite being able to work out What you're trying to express Let's go back

How's Hayley today? Anyway this is I think we've just had a little laugh about maybe getting some calls in of, are you dating someone with a really weird job title? Because I've always longed for an odd job title that's like

hand filing masseuse parter. What? I don't know. I couldn't think of any words. There's no sense in some odd words. Do you want people to call if they're dating someone know. I can't think of any words. Those are just some odd words. Do you want people to call if they're dating someone, but you can't even think of an example? Can't even think of an example.

I don't know if this is going to work. Alligator tour guide is a great example. Yeah. Don't ring up and be like, my boyfriend's a real estate agent. How embarrassing. How embarrassing. What about oil rig pastry chef?

Yeah, perfect That's what we want Do they have patisserie? Yeah, dude, it's oil and gas Oh, you're right Submarine painter Yeah You know what I mean?

It's so hard because it's hard for the paint to stick while they're underwater Gotta get waterproof You gotta get the right primer Maybe that's your husband This is what we want to know. Put my microphone on, Carl. I'm sorry, I was silencing a woman there. Telling you what to say. Silencing a Maori woman, and this, it continues.

This is absolutely outrageous behaviour from you. I'm pretty sure you turned your own mic off there, but never mind. I do you. Now, we're talking about the fact that Lana Del Rey is currently dating. And by the way, the picture that I saw that was a 10 out of 10 Haley Sproul, not him. Oh, okay, yeah.

This guy is not really my type. To each their own. That's putting it nicely. But he is an alligator tour guide. And we think that is a very funny job title. So we want to know if you're dating someone that has an unusual, odd, funny job title Jess has called up Jess, what is your partner's job title?

Hiya, so he's a milk extraction technician He milks cows Yeah Milk extraction technician Yeah, that's just flashing up your job title So what's the technician part? Oh, he's just flashing up the job title. So what's the technician part? Oh, he's just flashing up the title, really. Oh, he just made it himself.

He's a tit puller if you wanted to dumb it down some. Yeah, right, nipple yanker. But if you were on a date and you said, oh, well, I'm actually a milk extraction technician, you'd be like, oh, okay, that sounds posh. Yeah, posh, big money in there. Sounds six figures. It'd be more impressive if he was extracting the milk from almonds.

Yeah, yeah, well, that's harder. How does that work? That's harder, isn't it? That's harder than unruly. Unruly almonds. Hard to get them in the shed. Come on, come on. Hard to attach the cups.

Yeah, tiny nipples. Tiny nipples. Microscopic nipples, almonds. Like, it's really a hard job. Jess, thank you. Cindy, what was your husband's job title? He was a master boner. So, a butcher.

Was he a butcher or did he work at the meatworks? Gotcha. He worked in the meatworks, so he stripped the flesh off of bones, but that title is master boner. Master boner. It's even better in your accent, to be honest. Yeah, it does. It sounds great in your accent. Hey, man, I'm a master boner. What about when he got home, Cindy? Was he a master boner at home?

Oh, boy. Oh, guys, come on. Oh, Cindy, we apologize. I thought we were all having a laugh with friends. Cindy, sorry about that. Sorry, Cindy, for the boner. But was he? Cindy, just put.

Oh, guys, Cindy. Cindy, sorry. How's his lovemaking? How's his love making Cindy She's still married No yeah She's still married

Don't turn her down I'm silencing another woman Unbelievable from this guy This is actually insane behaviour from you Fletch Just putting Cindy on hold so she doesn't have to listen to Vaughan's vulgarity

Yeah I know The master boner Some messages in My dad is a wind turbine service technician Oh mean That's so cool. That's cool.

God, they're big. I saw a video of a guy and he tossed a ball up into one and it went boof. And I was like, I saw that video. It's amazing, eh? Can we do that? They're not going to want us to do that. No, I don't think they're going to want us chucking balls into turbines. Laurie, good morning.

Good morning. Your husband, what's his job title? So his job title is that he is a penetration tester. Yeah. I always give it a nudge most nights. What about him? Is he a master boner as well? Yeah, he's a master boner.

Oh, Laurie. I apologise. We do apologise for the vulgarity on the show. What is that job? What is it? So he works in IT and he is basically a hacker. So their job is to effectively attempt to penetrate, like, security breaches and IT world stuff.

All of us just went, oh, no. Oh, no. You know when you hear, oh, no. Oh, no. You know when you hear, like, something got hacked, like, they're attempting to mitigate that from being able to happen. So the companies hire them to do that first before things get released to the public. I mean, technically he is just an IT, but penetration tester is way better.

Way better. I work in IT. Does he put that on the form when he goes into a country? Like, job title, penetration tester is way better. Way better. Does he put that on the form when he goes into a country? Like job title, penetration tester, or does he just go IT? They tend to put security engineer. Yeah, that sounds cool too. That sounds really cool too. Because you know you can just make up

jobs when you arrive. Okay, no, Hayley, you've got to stop making up jobs because customers don't like that. Doctor. Penetration tester. Yeah, they're not asking what kind of doctor. Doctor by day, model by night.

That's what I'm saying next time. Okay, Laurie, thank you. Some more messages in. What are they going to do, look in your face and be like, oh, yeah, as if. They never do that. That you're not a doctor. No, that I'm not a model.

Oh. They wouldn't do that because they'd look at me and be like, of course. Obviously she is. Obviously, despite the face rash. Before the accident. Yeah, before the accident. Child model, you're a child model. Oh, maybe a hand model?

Before you aged, yeah. My partner's title is workshop wizard. He builds all the wooden parts of playgrounds. Oh, my God, that's so cool. That's a cool job. That's a cool job. Somebody else said, no, Dad said you're not allowed

to throw the football into the wind turbine. Oh, tell your dad to get stuck to it. It's not my dad. Come on, it's fine. You're not my real dad. Don't tell me what to do. What about a Swiss ball? They're soft.

And they're going to throw. It's happening. No, we're certainly not encouraging people to throw Swiss balls or any balls into wind turbines. There must be some that are due to be decommished. Look at you. Toss a Swiss ball. Let's go to Palmy.

They've got heaps of them. Let's get that happening. My partner is a geopetrological analysis. Oh, what is that? It's made up is what that is. I reckon they're a fracker. Oh, okay. Geo tells me rocks.

Petrological tells me in the area of petrol. Rock cars. And acquisition of. Sounds like they're causing the earthquakes in the 5G that's making me all mew. Making me all mew. When I got married, the venue had a director of romance She was in charge of all the wedding stuff

Oh my god, that's so cool That's a way better title than organise I worked in a construction company There was a guy whose job was erection specialist And it said after Sometimes scaffolding Him and the master boner and the penetration technician

need to all get together Hang out What a time A master boner, a penetration technician and a all get together and hang out. What a time. What a time to be alive. A master boner, a penetration technician, and a... And a erection specialist. Erection specialist walking to a bar. I mean, that's the start of a great joke.

Can't finish it. I'm not really a real comedian. Somebody said... No, because you're a model. Because I'm a model. Yeah. By night. No, no, I've got to...

Go, go. Again, what? A penetration technician, a master boner, and an erection specialist walk into a bar. And the bartender says, which one of you is having the stiff drink? Oh, boy. Oh, Carl.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, what are cat celebrations did you guys do throughout the week? I left you some homework. Oh no, I've got one, but I wanted to just... Vaughn, it was harder than anticipated. You should have...

I know you did that on purpose. And it's right... It was almost right up there with calendar week for us. It was a bit lacklustre. Yeah, it was a bit of a dart actually. A bit lacklustre. I think you should have just left us cat facts. Would have been easier.

Well, not cat celebrations. Well, to round off the week, I thought we could touch on National Hairball Awareness Day. Okay, that's great. We didn't do that one. A celebration of cats falls on the last Friday in April every year. And I know here you were. I just missed it.

Thinking, what a fool. I've missed it. Well, mark it in your calendars now. Okay. For the last Friday in April 2025. Are you looking in April? What will it be? Oh, what are you not?

You're not looking at your calendar. Oh, I just went on Instagram. Sorry. So I'm in the middle of talking and you've just zoned out and gone on Instagram. No, no, I'm enjoying it. I was just having a chicken. Kind of doing two things at once. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

Because the two things could have been listening and also partaking. Oh, man, Ray O'Leary's funny, eh? It's just posted a clip. It's not Ray O'Leary time now, although Ray O'Leary is a very funny man. He's a very funny man. He's a very funny man. I'm with you now. Yeah, okay, cool.

Thank you. It's an awareness that it's a day to make sure your cat is not in pain from hairballs. This is the worst fact of the day. The weird part about it is someone kick-started this. A cat food company has kick-started this. You know you can buy the cat food that stops with the hairballs. Hairballs, yeah. Hairballs.

Well, it doesn't. And there has been proof that they've found very ancient cat remains with hairballs. So they've been choking on those things since day dark. Do you know Raleigh doesn't get them? It's so weird. He's vomited once in his life in our house. Yeah. And he doesn't get them.

Short-haired cat, I guess. Short-haired cat. Short-haired cat. We've got a long ginger puss at home. And he doesn't do hairballs either. Sorry, some wind blew through the mic. Yeah, right. But then you hear of some people and their cats are constantly like.

And they're like. Well, that wraps up quite a lacklustre week. I thought I might touch just one more thing about hairballs. We really have no time. We're moving on. Egyptians used to keep them because you know how they loved their cats? Yeah. They'd keep them as little trinkets.

Oh, yuck. You know how gross, eh? Oh, gross. Egyptians. Oh. Hey, whoa, whoa. don't shame a whole nation. You said I know, comma, Egyptians. Also, the pyramids are tiny and real wide.

Oh, right next to the moon. Yeah, like if we're just going to get a boot into Egypt. They just walk like normal people. Yeah, I know. They've got a song about how they walk. Left foot, right foot, just like that. Opposite arms and legs. It's normal.

Yeah, none like that. Opposite arms and legs. It's normal. Yeah. None of that. So today's fact of the day is National Cat Hairball Awareness Day is the last Friday in April. Mark your calendars. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- are now currently broadcasting in the ANZ donation station. There's a crowd. There's a crowd. Hi, everybody. So, ZM presents the ANZ donation station this daffodil day. You can text the word

support to 206. That makes an instant $3 donation. The current donation total at last check was just over $71,000. Good start. Thank you. And of course, if you are out and about today and you see people donating, collecting rather, donate just

whatever you can, even like a dollar. Even a dollar. Yeah. I don't broadcast from behind you often, Fletch, but they show. I know, his shoulders are popping. Karen, the show. What are you doing behind me? I'm touching you. God, you're warm too. He's running hot. He runs hot. He's a hot-blooded male. Now, joining us next.

We have our dear friend and beloved fellow comedian and absolute sex god, Dai Henwood, with us. Hey, that was a phenomenal intro. You forgot I'm also probably, I think, New Zealand's number two cancer influencer as well. Who's number one? I don't know, but I just don't like to hype myself up too much. Stay humble. You know, number two, I don't know, but I just don't like to hype myself up too much. Stay humble, stay humble.

You know, number two, I've got room to move. Oh, my gosh. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. It presents the ANZ Donation Station with Di Henwood. We're at the ANZ donation station raising money for Daffodil Day. You can text the word

support to 206 to make an instant $3 donation. And joining Fletchford and Hayley it's the beautiful, the wonderful, the effervescent

Di Henwood. Oh, thank you very much. There you go. What a crowd here as well. Resplendent Hayley Sproul. That was lovely. Well, we've got

the number two cancer influencer from New Zealand self-titled. Absolutely here to push staff it all day. Yeah. Before we talk about this, I want to ask you a personal question. Absolutely. Because you and I are about to go on tour together with Seven Days Live.

Wait, are you thumbing in another promo? I've been thumbing in promos all day. That was seamless by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can Google it for tickets. But last time we went on tour, Di, you were the driver of the van. Yeah, well, that's the downside of being the sober person is I often drive. And I pride myself on the driving.

I've got to say, I've been on a few of these tours with you guys, and Di drives fantastically. Because you've got an erratic nature and a high energy. I'd imagine you're a loose cannon behind the wheel. No, deeply focused. Deeply focused, a nice pep though. A good pep, a good energy, but confidence. Whereas sometimes,

and I'll name and shame, when Paul Ego drives, it's slow. He drives as slow as Vaughan does in the fast lane. Whenever I imagine Vaughan driving, even on a motorway, I imagine him in a John Deere situation, constantly half in one lane, half on the verge, with his arm out.

Bloody go round. I love waving people around. I love waving people around. Vaughan drove me to work this morning. If you're in such a bloody hurry, mate, go around me. Vaughan drove me to work this morning, and the amount of people overtaking us on the left was truly embarrassing for me.

I reclined the seat back. It was shameful. So I'm hoping you're going to do the majority of the driving. No, I am. I put my hand up for that. I like being the seat back. It was shameful. So I'm hoping you're going to do the majority of the driving. No, I am. I put my hand up for that. I like being in the front. Even if you're in a high-ace situation where you're way too close to the road in front and you've got to stick shift gear, leave her.

I love it. It's honest. It's honest work driving around Aotearoa. Now, we are here, of course, for Daffodil Day, raising money for the Cancer Society. Something that, I mean, cancer has been a huge part of your life for the last three, four years? Of the last four and a half years. And, in fact, this year's been probably the most challenging, the time I've spent most time in treatment. I did three months of chemo. Then I sort of had a tumour pop up that closed an airway that collapsed a bit of a lung.

Sort of had an airway collapse and a lung collapse. Yeah, so I had radiation on that, and then in a few weeks' break, getting better from that, and then I'll hit some more chemo towards the end of the year. So I'll spend a lot of this year in treatment, and it makes you realise how important support networks are and places like the Cancer Society are so important because whether it be from like therapy, not just for the patient but for their partner who's dealing with all this emotional stress, let

alone having the financial stress of cancer. So when you're donating, that money is going to the Cancer Society and it's helping patients with actual tangible things, especially if they're coming from outside of Auckland and need treatment. I mean, everything's so expensive these days and cancer is affecting a lot of younger people now. Oh, yeah. I've got bowel cancer, right?

It's considered an older person's cancer. The only people I'm meeting are in their 40s, in their 30s. Yeah. And it doesn't discriminate. I met a marathon runner who's been basically vegan their whole life, juicing their face off. They have bowel cancer. Yeah, you know. It's not just a lifestyle disease for people who are punching darts

and eating burgers. But also, you know, maybe lay off that. Yeah, maybe ease off the darts and the burgers. Ease off the durries. No, because we've been saying a lot, you know, one in three people will be affected by cancer in some way. Did you ever imagine that you would be the direct receiver of that experience? No.

So I don't have any family history of cancer. See, that's insane. My only brush with cancer was when I was very young. My mum's best friend had melanoma and she passed away. But I have not had it in family history, I was so scared of getting cancer. I couldn't watch TV. I've never seen the first season of Breaking Bad because of the cancer storyline. It freaked me out too much.

So I got in at the second season. I was just mortally scared. Is it worth watching? Doesn't someone melt through the floor or something? Yeah, there's a whole bathtub incident with some acid. It's a great season, great way to kick it off. But I'll come back for a Breaking Bad interview in a couple of days. We'll do a full season review.

But it is such a scary thing, and now it has been demystified for me. And also demystified for a lot of people, and thanks to people like yourself who are talking openly about it. I know you chose, you know, you were going through it quite privately for a while before coming out, but now you're very candid about it

and how you discovered it and you're being very honest about it. And even what chemotherapy is, and I mean, I made a three-part doco that's coming out in a month or so, and that's about, it's sort of demystifying all this stuff around cancer. It's about living positively through adversity.

And I've been able to do that because, like, the Cancer Society has been a huge support network. It's not just the services that they provide. Their staff are amazing. Also, outside of the Cancer Society, nurses are amazing. The love I have been shown and the respect I've been

shown by people in the health industry has blown me away. There are so many awesome New Zealanders out there and to support something like the Cancer Society is so important. That is why we hear the ANZ Donation Station. If you can, you can text the word support to 206. That makes an instant $3.

I just did it on the work phone. Yeah, I've been doing it on the work phone as well. Might do it again on the work phone. Bogsies, sorry, we've been all donating on the work phones. I've been doing it on my work phone. And then I found out I'm a self-conferencer. Goes to a good cause. Yeah, why not?

Well, text the word support to 206. It makes an instant $3 donation. We'll come back with Di Henwood next. We're going to kick off Friday Jams. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Donation station on ZM. Somebody pulsed that wrong, didn't they? We are here at the ANZ donation station this dappled day.

And Di Henwood is with us. We're going to kick off Friday Jams now a little early. And every guest at the donation station today gets to pick a song. What have you chosen, Dai? This is quite a song that's close to my heart. So true by the Black Seeds. I grew up with the wonderful Barnaby Weir. What a dude.

He played this at our wedding. Oh, yes. Did you marry Barnaby Weir? That song? I had no idea you were gay. We really went for a multi-purpose situation. We're here with gay icon Diane Wood. He played it. Then we thought we'd

segue into Dirty Dancing, right? Gorgeous. We learnt every step, step for step for Dirty Dancing. We did a full 16-week dance course. Did you do the lift? So here's where it went a bit awry. We did the lift, right? Yeah.

So gravity and dresses, when you're doing the lift, they sort of fall down, and a full dress can become a boob tube very quickly. Run a gown. So we had to have a dress holder. Oh, wow. So what I thought, I'd done the lift by myself. But then when I actually did it, I needed about five people to run in.

Get the dress. And get the dress and balance the wife. And I definitely didn't look like Patrick Swayze. Yeah, I did not think that was quite as cool. I look more like an awkward baggage handler, to be honest. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley with Di Henwood.

And we are at the ANZ donation station and thanks to ANZ, we have raised currently just over $75,000. That's a lot. New total! We've only just started! Thank you so much for your support. You can text the word support to 206. That makes an

instant $3 donation. Di Henwood is with us now. I know and I'll never listen to that song the same again without imagining you doing a really sort of awkward lift. Yeah, I'm an awkward dancer. You are an awkward dancer. But then that in its own way works perfectly. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

We were mentioning before all this that, you know, you're going through your own cancer journey. You've written a book. You've been very public about it. That was what the end of last year was, was because once I'd done a sort of public interview about it, I'd realised how it had really hit with people that were going through it, just sharing my story and so forth. And it has been so amazing.

It in itself is quite taxing to do while you're going through a lot of treatment because people come up and share their story and I want to help people and then it's like, oh, well. You kind of take that on. I need to go and hide away a bit. But the beauty about it is I've just met so many amazing people and it's so easy to get sucked into all the horrific things that are going on around the world.

And then when I'm actually meeting people who are sharing stories, sharing love, it is so wonderful. So there are so many awesome Kiwis out there. But this is what I want to ask you because I'm lucky enough I get to work with you on seven days and you know I see you around and you're always so positive and the dye that New Zealand has seen on TV before

cancer and the dye that we see on TV after cancer or during cancer is not dissimilar. You bring all your energy and your joy and your mahi, you work so hard. How the hell are you doing that, Di, when you are going through? You could just be at home crying.

Yeah, exactly. You could be in a puddle. So my baseline of happiness is quite high. And happiness and unhappiness happen in two different parts in your brain. So it's not a zero-sum game. It's not like I'm unhappy so I've got no happiness. You can be unhappy and happy at the same time. brain so it's not a zero-sum game it's not like i'm unhappy so i've got no happiness yeah you can be unhappy and happy at the same time and then once my unhappiness sort of silos away i have a

general happiness but it is hard and you people who um when the stalker comes out will see it's very i leave everything out there and you see a side of me that you might not have seen. I still cry a lot. I shed tears a lot because it's such a hard thing to go through. And that's where the support network comes in, and that's what keeps me happy. Friends, family, places like the Cancer Society who can take a little bit of the burden off this very

heavy diagnosis so I'm blessed to have not really struggled with mental illness or anything pre cancer because adding that into the mix would make it very hard to stay positive but

I just find I'm a chin up type of person and being out and being friendly and telling jokes and being on stage, that's where I forget I have cancer and just have a good time. Well, you're like us. You've got a silly job. You know, like a silly fun job.

Having a silly job's a good idea, I reckon. Yeah, we just sort of talk around a bit and hang out. Imagine having a boring job. Yeah. But you can make any job silly, can't you? Oh no, probably not. I'm a silly neurosurgeon.

You don't want the wacky policeman trying to arrest the entire commentary. Sorry, not the commenteros. Anyway, that's the Mexican dessert-based thing. Yeah, that's, yeah. Not the comacheros.

I just think you're amazing, Di. Like, you're, you know, I know you probably hear it a lot and it feels a bit tacky to say, but you're an incredible inspiration to people that are going through the same journey. And, yeah, so grateful. Well, that's why he's New Zealand's number two. Exactly.

With a bit of work, I can get up to number one. Cancer influence. Yeah, knock that number one. Well, we're broadcasting at the ANZ Donation Station. As you mentioned, Die the Cancer Society do an incredible job. So if you can, donate now. Text the word SUPPORT to 206 to make an instant $3 donation. Or if you see people out collecting today.

Give them your coins. Give them what you got. Give them what you can. Georgia continues the ANZ Donation Station next. We're live streaming as well at ZM Online. We'll be back later this afternoon as well with Brianne Clint and so many guests and live performances

coming up here on ZM. Thanks, Di. Thank you. If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review.

And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.