ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 30th January 2024

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

Too Much Hydration  Seagull Kidnapping  Top 6: Default Fonts  Hayleys Horny (Face)Book Club!  Russell Howard!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Grab any medium cafe hot coffee for just $4. Only in the app. Ends Feb 9. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six.

Do you think I should get those, like, big sausage-y cheek fillers? Yeah. What? I wondered why you were making that face. You know what I mean? Big. The bigger the better. The ones that, like, are so big are so big they push your eyes shut?

Yeah. No, I don't think you should. Just considering getting some work done. I don't think you should. You know what I mean? No. Why are you starting the day with this? I don't know.

I'm just ready for a change. Right. Got the pink hair. Get some sausages in those cheekbones. No, it's because I'm watching Love Island at the moment. I really feel like we could do with a little sort of a daily almost Love Island update. Do you think? Your days couldn't have been different yesterday because you started Masters of the Year. Oh, my God.

Is it good? Oh, my God. What do you mean? So after I watched the first two episodes, new episodes out on Apple TV every Wednesday, I read about how they made it. And you know that tech, not everybody would know, but there's this thing called the volume. And it's how they made the Mandalorian.

And now they're using it instead of like blue screens and green screens. They put like a digital representation up in the background. Yeah. So you can sort of react to it. They made the biggest one they could and put the scale model of the B-17 bombers in it and then put the actors in that. So for them, and then they moved the model

and they said it felt like a motion master type virtual reality machine. I'm going to wait until all the eps are out and binge them. Yeah, I feel like I can't. I'm not doing weekly for this. I can't trip, trip, trip, trip.

It's Steven Spielberg's biggest ever production. Yeah, so this is, for those that don't know, he also made Band of Brothers. So this is kind of like assisted to that, right? Yeah, it's about,

so the first one is about the Americans entering the land war. Yep. In Europe. And this is the air and the Pacific was about American forces in the Pacific

is it good? is it good? yeah I mean I don't even need to ask the trailer was amazing rules in the worst way possible

thinking these dudes were like 19 to about 25 yeah it sure would be like it's so great you're like it's based in history

yeah with young men and now I would be considered far too old to be in that plane. Fantastic. Now you'd be considered far too old. It's a lot of war. I've got a bad back too. I can't be going to war.

15 years ago they wouldn't have put me in that plane. You've got a bad back. Yeah. Probably would have kept me out of that situation. I've got breasts and ovaries. Do you know what I mean? Oh, you can't be fighting in war. I'm going to join the war effort.

Hey. Raise the children You wanted equality Yeah Get in that plane I want equality now Definitely not back then No I'm good I'm good

I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm good It rules though Coming up on the show The top six

Microsoft have a new font A new default font And you know People get So Up in arms about faults Well make room for Aptos, the perfect font

for high resolution screens possessing a sharpness and uniformity with high resolution in mind in some ways. Aptos is actually a return to form for Microsoft Office. That's one review. That's one review, but people aren't happy about the top six other fonts that deserve

their time as Microsoft's default font. Next on the show, though. Another warning about drink bottles. Who would have thought it would be so difficult to just have a little sippy roo of water? Okay, you would argue that Stanley is like the biggest kind of drink thing at the moment. Like, it's like the trend.

Everybody wants a Stanley cup. Everybody wants a Stanley. Poor old Frank Green. I know. How quickly they became sick. I mean, look at. My trouble seems so far away. Yeah.

You were looking cool a couple of weeks ago with your dented, crusty old mouldy. I don't think I've looked cool with my mouldy old dented Frank Green for a while. Well, you're going to have to get a Stanley now if you want to stay cool. Well, this was the one that everyone wanted was the Frank Greens. Yeah. And now Stanley's the thing. Do you think behind the scenes at Frank Green they're like, oh. God damn it.

We've got to shove a handle on it, they'll be thinking. They've actually got stats with sales going down because everybody is buying Stanley now. It's like watching that bloody movie about the Blackberry phone and then watching suddenly this iPhone come out and then being like, oh shit. And then just like no one bought them anymore. Or like you say, quick, put a handle on it. Do they not have handle ones? Have they not seen this

coming? I don't know. I've got to say I'm not big in the drink bottle game. You've dabbled. You've got yourself in a little yeti. Yeah. So we talked, I believe, last week about some of the dangers of the straws, of getting durry lips.

Durry lips. You know, like smokers always would get really wrinkled lips from the shape of doing that. And then they were like, you're basically going to get durry lips from sipping on the straws of things like Frank Rains and Stan Lee. Just a side note, are people going to get vape lips? No, because that's more, they're flatter. No, but a lot of them are round as well, like some of them.

Yeah, true. You've got to watch that. You've got to watch the lips. Yeah, but you're going to get sicky lips anyway. Yeah. If you have vape lips. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Like, you're going to get the lips. Well, so there's more warnings About Stanleys One of them was that they contain lots of lead And then they did a lot of research into it And they were like nah there's no lead in there And then some people were like yeah there's lead in them And Stanley was like no there's not lead in them And I've got

Three different news articles Open about Stanleys and leads, and I cannot come to an answer of whether or not there's lead in them. Right. So there may be lead in them. But Stanley is saying there is no lead in them. Yeah, of course I'd say that, though.

Do you know what I mean? Where's the lead in it? Would it be in the insulator bit, right? There's no lead in there. There's no lead in there. I think people are, this probably sounds like another drink bottle company. Farrink.

And or Green. One of the other things lots of doctors are coming out about is you can don't, like, don't drown yourself because they're quite big. They're 1.1 litres of water. This is what I don't like about them. They're so huge. Like they're American size.

SNL, Saturday Night Live, just did a sketch on them. And it's so funny. Go on their Instagram because it's so funny. And just like each scene, the cup's just getting bigger and bigger and bigger until it's like the size of a human being. Yeah, she can fit in it. Yeah, it's really funny.

Amazing. So 1.1 litres of water. And then the Mayo Clinic was like, okay, so men should have around 3 litres, women like just a little bit less than that a day. A day. And then because these are so trendy and people are just like sipping them all the time to be on trend,

you do run a risk of like diluting the natural electrolytes in your body to the point where it's really dangerous. Right. You can drown yourself. Okay. So they're saying don't do that. And people have died doing that, right? Yeah, I know. Remember back in the day when pingas were new?

And people would just drink nine litres of water. Yeah, they'd go to raves and they'd take a pinger and they'd drink too much water. Remember when there was a thing called fantasy and it was ecstasy mixed with stiffy pills? Jesus, why are you doing that with love drugs?

That was late 90s. Yeah, it was called fantasy. And people would do the same. They'd drink and drink and drink and they'd have a big raging boner. Oh, God. And they'd drink too much water. You don't need that on the dance floor.

No. Well, actually, you shouldn't take that on the dance floor. No. Leave that at home. Also, if you did that right and then you found someone to alleviate the erectione and you've drunk all that water, you'll definitely wet the bed. It's that Samoan for erection, is it?

Yeah, erectione. Or nests. Yeah. And then one more thing is, so all these teachers have been sharing online being like, every kid is turning up with his Stanley carbs. And they're like, so children need so much less water. She's like, these children are small as hell. And then also they must be like, miss, miss, miss, I need to go toilet.

Oh, my God. I'd be like, no, you can sit in your own ways. Yeah. That's going to be disruptive as well. Somebody just messaged in saying, why when we're talking about vessels of water, water consumption, we never mention hydro flask. You heard of them? Somebody said they're the OG.

I just looked them up. Hydro Flask NZ, $105.99 for a drink bottle. That's why we're not mentioning it. That is a ridiculous amount of money for a drink bottle. Those are nice, though. That's a ridiculous amount of money. I saw these at Rebel Sport. Yeah, I've seen these.

Yeah, they are. They're nice. They're really nice. Okay. Well, there you go. Consider them mentioned. And is that a New Zealand brand? Very Yeti adjacent there. Yeah, they are. I'm just looking at the red one here. It looks a lot like a Yeti. Oh, yeah. Those really nice. Okay. Well, there you go. Consider them mentioned. And is that a New Zealand brand? Very Yeti adjacent there.

Yeah, they are. The red one here, it looks a lot like a Yeti. Oh, yeah, those are nice. I don't know if they are a New Zealand brand. What a expensive, eh? Who would have seen this coming? Remember we used to just have like wrinkly old pump bottles? Remember, yeah, you'd get a bottle of pump

and then you'd make it last for a year. Yeah. Yeah. And it would be like so soft by the end and like crinkled up. Yeah. It would always leak. Did the job. That was the sign it was end and crinkled up. Yeah. But always leak. Did the job. That was the sign it was time to get a new one.

14 past six. The top six next on the show. Next, is it? That seems early in the six. It does seem early. For a guy that hasn't done it yet. Let's move that around. How about we talk about seagulls next?

Is he begging for a shuffle? He's begging for a shuffle. I'm on the fly having a shuffle. Let's deal with seagulls next because there's been a seagull incident and I believe we go to Dunedin next. They've had a couple of seagull incidents of late. Yeah, it's all going on. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

We go to, I believe, Dunedin now. Dunedin, Dunedin, Dunedin. You can always count on Dunedin for a bloody rogue story. The students aren't even back yet, though. Is it rogue when the students aren't there? Well, I just think you've got your true Dunedin locals up to absolute shenanigans over summer versus over the year the imported hooligans.

Yeah, right. Well, so this is an argument over a chip-loving seagull that ended up with a knife being pulled and police being called to the scene. So do you think you would ever meet a seagull that ended up with a knife being pulled and police being called to the scene. So do you think you would ever meet a seagull? I know that you wanted to make sure we knew it was a chip-loving seagull, but have you ever met like a fussy seagull? Like a vegan seagull?

Yeah, who's like... What was this cooked in? Yeah, yeah, what kind of oil is this used in? I don't think seagulls could be vegan. I don't know many scavengers that are. They're like, what's the protein content? Because I'm like kind of shredding. Yeah, I've never met a fussy seagull.

At the moment. So this happened in the car park of a Green Island supermarket on Saturday. The call out was prompted after the occupants of a vehicle who were eating chips in their car managed to entice a seagull inside the car. Now I will say Don't do that. You don't need a seagull in your car. You've seen the state of the

inside of my car and not even I want a seagull in there. The seagull would never leave if it got in your car Have you ever been on a bus when a pigeon walks in and it just catches a ride? I've been in a supermarket and I've seen a pigeon. But don't you think if the pigeon

got off the bus, they'd be like, where the hell am I? Nah, because they've got the magnet the magnetic nose thing. That's what makes pigeons so good at sense. They've got a magnet. They know which way is north. They've got that animal instinct.

Anyway, these people are eating chips and they get a seagull inside the car They've got a magnet. They've got a magnet. They know which way is north. Oh, okay. They've got that animal instinct. Right. Well, anyway, these people are eating chips, and they get a seagull inside the car, and this angers the occupant of another vehicle who tells them to cut it out. Right. He was not amused. Now, that led to the group getting out of the vehicle

and challenging the motorist, including pulling a knife on them. Jeepers, creepers. Wait, so the people that wanted to hijack the seagull or gull-nap it then pulled a knife on somebody who... It does sound like they pulled the knife, doesn't it? It does. Police located the vehicle and invoked a search without warrant

and recovered the knife. So where's the bird at this point? Where's the seagull? They don't say, they don't say. Is he just munching in the back? The seagull was not injured in the incident. Okay, thank God. But they do say, police say,

I assume they did manage to get away with some chips, which is nice. And it was a 15-year-old, by the way, that pulled a knife. Jeepers. Mum's going to want that knife back. Oh my God, imagine if he'd taken mum's good knife. Out of the block. Out of the knife block. She'll always be like, where did that knife go? Who's want that knife back. Oh my God. I mentioned we could take mum's good knife. It's probably if it was a 15. Out of the block.

Out of the knife block. Out of the knife block. She'll always be like, where did that knife go? Who's got that knife? The knife block's not full. It'll be a Jaden. Jaden might spend ages collecting those smeg knives. Yeah.

Oh my God. And they don't do them anymore? No. Jaden? Cheapest. Wow. All going to an Aiden. What does he want with the seagull?

I don't know. I think they were just being silly. I think they were just being silly. I think he wanted to eat the seagull. He didn't want to eat the seagull. He he want with the seagull? I don't know. I think they were just being silly. I think they were just being silly. I think he wanted to eat the seagull. He didn't want to eat the seagull. He wanted to eat the seagull. Do you reckon they bought the chips and were regretted not getting more? Yeah, well, they had the carbohydrates and they needed an additional protein.

Yeah, true. What does seagull taste like, you reckon? I reckon it would taste gross. Yeah. I reckon it would taste gross. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think Tank, this is the top six. Hello there.

There has been a change to Microsoft Office's default font, Aptos. Aptos does look crisp and clean. Is this changing from Calibri? No. Calibri was, it is described as Calibri's modern successor, but it's not taking over from Calibri. It was another font that's been. I'm big on my Calibri and my Tahoma.

Those are my faves. Love a Tahoma. Love a Tahoma. I don't like Aptos at all. She's too fat. Oh. Excuse me, madam. I don't know if you can just say that about someone now.

You've got to say. Here's a little graphic. This is Aptos. This is Calibri. I mean, what was the point? Yeah, they're very similar, aren't they? Very similar. Aptos is fat.

It's a fat Calibri. I like Aptos. Oh, no, I don't like it. It's boring. Speaking about changes of fonts, what about the new location and stickers on Instagram? Yuck. I don't like it. It's boring. Speaking about changes of fonts, what about the new location and at stickers on Instagram? Yuck. I don't know what you're talking about.

Yuck. Where can I see these? So you would create a story. Create a story. Yeah, a story, and then you add a location or tag someone in, and it's yuck. It's just yuck. Okay, let me just do that.

Story. What's your name? You would have seen them pop up. No, that's the same. What about do location? Is it different? Oh, if you do a swipe location... You can change the font of tagging someone in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allow while using it. God, I really haven't set this up, have I? Location. Search Auckland, New Zealand. Is that different, is it? No, it's go on the sticker thing. Will you show us on yours then? Yeah, that's what I just did.

Times of India restaurant. You can't have it. But you haven't seen it. I don't know. I can't say I have. It's yuck. I don't like it. We don't like change, do we?

I don't. We really do not like change. Remember Facebook changed their blue last year and it was like, what's that? Remember when Facebook used to change stuff all the time like 10, 11 years ago and everyone would be like, oh no, what have they done? And now we just don't use it?

Yeah. See, look. Look how yuck that is. Oh, yuck. What are you, a baby? Are you a baby? No, that's got to go. That's not right.

And then location and then I'll just put in like Auckland and it's yuck. That's yuck. Maybe you need to update your app. It's yuck. I don't want to update my app because it's yuck and embarrassing for you. See what I mean?

Yeah. It's yuck. It looks like a font that would be like my first kitchen. Yeah. My first iPhone. My first Instagram account. Yeah. My first drink bottle.

Baby's first tooth. Yeah. Well, I've got the top six other fonts that I think deserve their time as Microsoft's default. One for the graphic designers this morning. Yeah. Nice. Number six on the list, Wingdings. But just for a moment, they're like, we've updated our font and then everything goes Wingdings.

It'll be funny from them. It'll be funny and then you update it almost immediately and it got rid of it. Imagine the world chaos. I know it'll be chaos. It'll be chaos. It'll be proper chaos. It'll be proper chaos. It'd be proper chaos. Number five on the list

of the top six fonts that deserve their time is Microsoft's new default. Baby, Times New Roman. He's back. I reckon it could come around. He's back.

Because that was really popular in the 90s. Now, 90s is very popular right now. Yeah, that's a retro. I mean, you know at any time

you can just change your system font to be whatever you want it to be. Yeah, but no. Do you know what I've just looked for and isn't in there? Because when we did the yearbook for our school in sixth form, or year 12, whatever you call it now, Footlight MT was the font we had to use for the paragraph.

And I can't say it in there now, but that always ruined Footlight MT for me. Yeah. Having to change everything constantly. Comic Sans is the one that's ruined for me. I don't know if that's on your list. I've got it on your trash. No, it's not.

Good. Of course it's not. Don't call it trash. This is trash. It's trash. Do you like Comic Sans? Do you know what? I like Helvetica.

Okay. That's nice. Number four. And Papyrus. Papyrus. Big James Cameron fan over there. Big Avatar. Huge Avatar fan. Number four on theus. Big James Cameron fan over there. Big Avatar. Huge Avatar fan.

Number four on the list. He made that really expensive movie and then used a Microsoft font. Well, he spent all the money on the special effects. Yeah, he just needs to use Papyrus. Papyrus. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six fonts that deserve their time as Microsoft's default. Times New Roman's cousin, Helvetica.

Oh, yeah. That font. Yeah. There's a documentary on it and I thought I'll watch this because I'm a bit of a font snob. It was the most boring thing I've ever watched. It was really boring.

But Helvetica's nice. Helvetica is nice. That's lovely. Yeah, it's beautiful. That's stunning actually. But that's fat and you had a problem with Aptos being too fat.

Yeah, I know but it's fat but the letters are closer together. Aptos is taking up too much space. It kind of hides the fat doesn't it really? Yeah, Aptos is great. If Aptos is fat and taking up more space,

that means your essays are going to look longer. Oh, yeah, good point, actually. It's the trimming the pubes of the font world. Make it look longer. Number three on the list of the top six fonts that deserve their time as Microsoft's default, Georgia. Nice font. Look that one up.

Georgia. I know Georgia. Spell it Georgia Bird and Georgia the country. Georgia font, one moment, please. Nice font. Look that one up. Georgia. I know Georgia. Spell it like Georgia Bird and Georgia the country. Georgia font. One moment, please. Yeah, see, I like a sans. Not a sans. A serif.

A serif. It's got the serif. It's got the... Yeah, it's a nice font. It holds onto the ground, doesn't it? If it's sans serif, it doesn't have the little holdy on bits. Classic. Number two on the list

of the top six fonts that deserve their time is Microsoft's default. This one's a little bit flash. Okay. Baskerville. Oh, yeah, nice. Baskerville's a little bit

of a flash font. Yeah. A little bit like... Ooh la la. Yeah, a little bit London, street sign-y. You could have it on a shampoo bottle

and you'd pay more money for it. Of course you would because it's Baskerville, baby. And number one on the list of the top six fonts that deserve their time is Microsoft's default. I personally think one of the greatest fonts there are, Gil Sands. Oh, yeah. Gil Sands is a nice font. It's sans serif.

There's a gils. I imagine there must have been a gils at some stage that had the serifs. You're shaking your head. It's a plane. It's nice. Too skinny for you? Oh, yeah. Too wiry for you.

Too skinny and flicky. You went sans, though. You didn't go serif. You're a gills. Oh, yeah. Gills, sans. Yeah. Now we're talking.

Look again. Have you ever been to those websites that are like a thousand fonts free dot com or whatever? Oh, my God. And you can just scroll through them and be like, I know what I want is in here. Yeah. Yeah. Tap, tap, tap, tap. It's good stuff.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. That is today's Subsex. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I used to get really anxious to go to the dentist. I'm good now. I'm good now. You go about every three weeks now with your chipped tooth.

I know. I feel, I thought this. I was like, God, I go to the dentist a lot. You do. You are the person that goes to the dentist the most that I know. Yeah. Like Vaughan, never. Like you went last year.

I went last year. For the first time in what, 13 years? Yep. Are you going to go again? Yep. This year? When they send me the little reminder in what, 13 years? Yep. Are you going to go again? Yep. This year? When they send me the little reminder. It depends on my mood, but I think I will.

Depends on your mood. I think I will because I really like the dentist. And I think that's what a lot of people are scared of after so long that they're going to get a telling off. Yeah, as an adult, like a condescending telling off and people don't like that. And how much it's going to cost. Yeah. Those are the two things. And luckily I didn't have any fillings.

Which is amazing. Which is literally crazy. I have teeth that are made of like butter. Yeah, but when I did used to go to the GDCs to get them all the time. Yeah. So I feel like I've done the hard yards. Yeah, right, right, right. And then I punched myself in the face getting off a bus at a wedding

and cracked a tooth. Also, I like at the weekend when you were getting off the bus, people were like, Vaughn, be very careful. Be careful now. Yeah, I reckon I go three times a year. Once for a check-up, twice for a hygienist, and then maybe like two or three times more for chipped teeth, because my teeth are

made of like literal butter. Anyway, so people do get anxious and they're always wanting to like feel nice and calm when they're going to the dentist. And so researchers kind of put together a list of what they have called the most calming songs to listen to before the dentist and the doctors. But it's been done based on taking together

lots of Spotify playlists that have the words like dentist waiting room or doctor waiting room in them and then collating the most common songs off that list. So you could argue that it's already been collating the most common songs off that list. Right. So you could argue that it's like already been curated by the people that work at the dentist. It would have to be the most non-offensive. That's the thing.

I think that's what would make it calming is like it's not going to be any metal or like heavy hip hop. I mean, my dentist listens to ZDM, Fletchford and Hayley. Perfect. And they keep it on all day through Georgia. That's hard though. They'll be laughing out loud. They've got to have steady hands.

I know, they've cut me once because they're like, they're just absolutely loving it. Anyway, so I'll give you the top 10 from this curated list. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. Okay. Made love for the first time for this song. You're stitching. How is that the rhythm?

It's too slow. Because it was, the TV was on, it was the City of Angels, the movie. Meg Ryan, Nicolas Cage. Of course it was. Okay, number nine is Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. Great song. There's a Fleetwood Mac song for every playlist. Absolutely.

Number eight. Drops Jupiter. Oh yeah, okay. Riptide by Vance Joy It's a nice song It's just like So inoffensive Yeah Okay

Jason Mraz Jason Mraz Jason Mraz I'm yours A song This is the definition Of a flaccid song Train is next With Hey Soul Sister See you can't I'm yours. A song, this is the definition of a flaccid song.

Train is next with Hey Soul Sister. See, you can't, I'm not anxious. I'm so happy and good. Brown Eyed Girl. By Van Morrison, Brown Eyed Girl. Next is a wild choice. Toto's Africa. A song I believe you two once brought back into the charts.

To number one. To number one. Yeah. After, what, 30 years or something? Yeah. Okay, your top two. This is the one that I'm like, what? I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado. Great song. Great song. That was great. An offensive Nelly furry taco. Yeah.

Oh my god, what? Was that a childhood? Yeah. You remember who was this? Nelly Furry Taco. Nelly Furry Taco. Nelly Furry Taco. What are you, like, 15?

I just thought the minute you said it, I was like, I'm just going to say it because it felt. No. Number one. Oh, yuck. The Glee Ruined the Song. This was a great song, and then Glee sung it a thousand times in that. Don't you like who's dead now? You could argue Glee ruined every song they touched.

Glee ruined so many songs. Oh, they did a couple of goodies, but yeah, they ruined this one. Don't Stop Believing My Journey was the most calming and most common. Right. Well, if you're off to the doctor or the dentist, there are many playlists out there that have been curated to keep you calm. Absolutely. They don't help with how much the dentist charges you, but...

No, you just have to lump that one. I'm sorry. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little po. Silly little po. So an international study looked into what's more important for restaurant donners.

A great variety of food, the affordability or the cleanliness. I don't really give a toss about the cleanliness a lot of the time. As long as it's not like maggots and such. Nah. Yeah. As long as it's not E, I'll do a B. I'll do a C. I think a B probably just means you've got more flavour.

Yeah, like the pans are a bit dirty. Yeah. Yeah. And that just adds to the flavour. But a cross-contamination. Yeah. I love a bit of cross. Give me that cross-contamination. I love a bit of cross Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that just adds to the flavour. But a cross-contamination. Yeah, yeah. I love a bit of cross. Give me that cross-contamination.

I love a bit of cross-contamination. I mean, you know, we've all got our favourite BYOs and, you know, they're not the cleanest but they are the yummiest. Yeah. And I ordered a chicken

vindaloo but there's a bit of beef in there and I'm not angry about it. No. Yeah, that's definitely a darker meat. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. My God, is it tender. If it is chicken, it's been in there for a long time. Yum. Very, very long time, but that's yum. So we asked you, what's more important for a restaurant to have, great food or general cleanliness? 57% of people.

So a slight majority said it's got to be great food. Yes. We love to eat. Yes. I kind of feel like eating is what we're put on this earth to do. Absolutely. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Like, you know when people are like, oh, a Zen pick or whatever, one of those would be great. I'm like, but not if it's going to put me off my food. Yeah. For life. I just want the food to scream through me. That's what I need my diet pills to do. Yeah. Like, I eat and then I need to shit like five minutes later.

That's fine. But I actually very much enjoy putting things in my mouth. On the record. You'd be upset if you did a Zen pick and it made you not eat. Not hungry. Yeah. Because you'd be like, you're missing out on this delicious food. Flavors.

Last night I ate so much, I was like so full. Yeah. And then half an hour later I went back for three more spuds. Now that's life. That's living. God damn it, I love spuds. Now that's life. That's living. God damn it, I love spuds. Yeah, you do. Let's see what the people have to say.

Dan said, depends on the mood you're looking for. Good food, boozy, BYO. It's got to be filthy. It's got to be filthy. If you're not looking to get on the piss, I'm looking for cleanliness. Hayley knows what I'm talking about from her toy days. Am I right? Oh, yeah.

Who's that? Dan. Probably knew a few Dan's. Probably just somebody else that went to tour Yeah yeah man But I mean that's just across the board for any

Wellington was riddled with D rated restaurants But yum But yum Six dollar bloody chanai Yes please Hayden says What I don't know

won't harm me Ignorance is bliss Although I don't think a coli will only hurt you if you But that's That's why you don't want to

ever see the kitchen Even in the nice places Never look Don't look behind that's why you don't want to ever see the kitchen, even in the nice places. Never look, don't look behind the curtain. Yeah, I don't want to see what's happening. Yeah. If it's the best

fried rice I'll ever have, I'll just try not to look at whatever that pile of rags is along the booth opposite me. Oh my God, isn't that a used diaper? Don't start looking.

Why do I keep looking? Fried rice, fried rice. Amy said, what are the chances... I can't stop. Far out. You've got to fried rice. Amy said, what are the chances... Far out. You've got to put them somewhere. Amazing. What are the chances of the food being great if it's not clean, says Amy.

Might I introduce you to Dominion Road? Yeah. The country's dirtiest road with the country's greatest eateries. Yeah. Belinda said, no point in having general cleanliness if the food's shit. Couldn't agree more. Totally. Chelsea,

I check the bathrooms when I go out somewhere new. If it's gross, we don't go. Husband thinks if the F-Boss machine is dirty, then it's a good sign that it's all going to be dirty back in the kitchen. Oh, my God. You can't judge places by their toilets because the toilets don't make them any money. No.

They're there because legally they have to be there. Yeah, they painted that once. Yeah. And they won't ever paint it again. I like walking through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. Me too. That's a vibe. Pass like a big stack of I don't know what's.

Use diapers, I don't care. Yeah, yeah, a big box with Chinese writing on it that I don't understand. Fantastic. Tessa said it's a win-win because who doesn't love a little flush out after a good meal? That's the thing. Yeah, delicious. Blow it out win-win because who doesn't love a little flush out after a good meal? That's the thing. Delicious. Blow it out the other end because it wasn't clean. That's a net gain.

Yeah. That is net gain. That's net gain. That's an economist right there. That's a food economist. Yeah. That is a very silly little pop. Now, Fletch was wrong before.

It wasn't in Dunedin and it didn't happen yesterday. I don't know what he was talking about. These two are a bit bickering off here. I said, what you've done here is you've done a Vaughan. And he's calling it a Fletch. I read the story in the Otago Daily Times. Now, the Otago Daily Times has no business reporting this story as it happened in Auckland.

You stick to Otago. And then Daily, obviously they're updating it daily. I read this yesterday. I assumed that Otago Daily, it happened yesterday in Dunedin. Am I wrong? Has nothing to do with Dunedin. If anybody's out of their lane here, it's the Otago Daily Times. Stay in your lane of dealing with Otago's daily issues.

Not Auckland's December issues. Like the seagull in the car. Now that was an example of a story for the Otago Daily Times. What they were doing, dipping their toe into a story that happened in Auckland in December. Beyond me! I think what they're doing is updating the Otago residents of the entire country. I don't give a shit about this. They go to the Otago Daily Times for one thing and one thing only.

It takes a long time for news to get down south. The current events of the Otago region. Well, this happened in Auckland on December 20. A man in a well-to-do suburb. Now, he wants to remain

as anonymous as possible. Right, so he didn't say the suburb. He didn't say the suburb, but a well-to-do suburb. It's Renewera. It's got big Renewera. St. Mary's.

Yeah. Renewera. Ipsum. Yeah. Well, he's outside doing some gardening and a man, a young man who he describes as athletic and in his 20s.

Sounds hot. Sounds like the old boy was like, hello, what are we good, going down the road here. Tips the lenses for a little bit of a better look. Get the distance part of his bifocals. He lifts them up a little bit. And gets a good look at this young fella, and he said he's a young bit, and gets a good look at this young fella. And he said he's a young man.

And he says, what's your name to the old boy? And the old boy says, and he's like, I've got this for you, and hands him an envelope. And he said, what is it? And the young guy says, I'm just delivering it. And the old man's like, that's an envelope full of cash. Hefty. It's hefty.

Hefty. Opens it. It's a plastic bag full of crisp fitties. Oh, how good's a fat envelope? Yeah. Yum. Good stuff. And then he's like,

wait a minute. You've got the wrong guy. And the young guy boosts it down the road. And he just watches him run away. So is this like one of those,

was the young guy filming for a random act of kindness? That's what I, that's what I've been Googling. It was $5,000. It was $5,000. That's not. That's Mr. Beast money. Mr. Beast does $10,000.

That's Mr. Beast level kind of prank stuff. Well, I just went on YouTube and searched $5,000 giveaway in New Zealand. A few different keywords to see if we've got some up and coming YouTube Mr. Beast wannabe situation giving away cash, but I couldn't find anything. Okay. The old boy said, I've lived a life that doesn't involve quick and easy windfalls of cash. Apart from the fact he bought a house in the 70s worth $5,000 and now it's worth $8 million. Tax free.

I built my own business up from scratch. Okay. And he sold it internationally. So he's loaded. Doesn't need it. Works for every dollar. Doesn't need it. Sold internationally.

So he's worked hard. He's worked hard. Yeah. And so he's like,. Doesn't need it. Works for every dollar. Doesn't need it. So he's worked hard. He's worked hard. Yeah. And so he's like I don't want it. But he can't work hard if he's done anything nice or helped anyone over the years. He's scratched the memory. And really rebooted it. Given a defrag and a reboot

to see if there's anything in the random access memory there and still can't think of anything. And this happened in December. This would bug me so much. Same. I sort of get it if you were like, maybe you'd fallen on hard times or you lived in a less affluent area

and someone had seen that you were struggling and they were like, we're going to do this nice thing. But if this guy's mowing his lawn, that you say a house worth probably fucking, oh, I just swore, $2 million, that he doesn't need this $5,000 thing. No. Could he donate it to charity?

He gave it to the police. Because I think he also feels like, am I now being watched and someone's going to come back for that $5,000? Somebody else. Oh my God. So if this is actually a genuine offer of kindness or some kind of payback. Yeah. And they wanted it anonymous. What they've actually done is turn this man's life upside down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because now he's like

paranoid and he thinks something's happening. But he also didn't need it. Like, they would know that, right? No. Maybe not. I mean, everyone needs $5,000 cash. So he's been talking to the press now about saying, like, I really want to know who it is.

It's with the police, and the police did that thing where they try to find it for so long, and then afterwards, it just gets given back to them. Whoever gave it to him has to come out and just say why they did it. Yeah. Even if it's anonymous? Or tell the police?

Yeah, just to put his mind at rest and say, like, no, no, no, I was doing this as part of a... You helped me out, like, 20 years ago. Yeah, exactly. That'd irk me, too. I couldn't spend it. Yeah. You helped me out like 20 years ago. Yeah, exactly. That had irked me too. I couldn't spend it. Yeah. You saved my father from falling into an industrial chipper.

Chipper, yeah. People were always falling into them. And he might have forgotten about that time he saved Dave from the chipper. Yeah, Dave was going the chipper and Dave was my father. Dave's long sleeves got caught in the chipper. I started pulling them in and he was like, oh, shit, and turned it off. He's like, you're all right, Dave. What's Dave doing wearing long sleeves

cutting trees? He might have just been there for somebody and given them some good advice at some stage and they're like, that's kind of stuck

with them this whole time and helped them. Who's the delivery man? Oh my God. The son or the nephew or the... See, this is eating us alive. Imagine what it's like

to be the fella that's received this money. Yeah, I really need to know. I would have just had it spent. I wouldn't have even told Sade because she'd want some and I'd be like, no. What are you buying? $5,000 falls into your lap. What are you buying? Yeah, I really need to know. I would have just had it spent. I wouldn't have even told Sade because she'd want some and I'd be like, no. What are you buying?

$5,000 falls into your lap. What are you buying? Because, you know, it's a lot of money but it's not going to pull you out of debt or anything like that. Well, it's not going to pay the mortgage

but... No, but... Fine bit of money in the pocket. A good bit of money. Okay, we need some resolution to this story. This is like, do you remember that?

It was this time last year. The sausage? The sausage is on Waiheke. We never got an answer about that, did we? The sausage is in the letterbox. Should we launch our own investigation? Do you know what I mean? Because sometimes the police, I don't feel like this is big.

They've got actual proper crimes to solve, yeah. Well, we'll keep you updated via the OO, Tiger Daily Times or the New Zealand Journal. I refuse to read that. Any story that's not considered that day's news based primarily in Dunedin. Next on the show, you've pushed play. I've got a treat for everyone. I guess you could call this the next episode of Hayley's Horny Book Club.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hayley's Horny Book Club. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hayley's Horny Book Club. Wow, this is a thing, isn't it? Wow, wow, wow, wow, it is a thing. It is very much a thing. Now, I've actually been working on some, there's so much going on in this horny book club of ours. I've been working on something, a little treat for Vaughan.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Now, this is going to be tomorrow morning. And I, yeah, this is sort of a long tease. I'm not sure if Vaughan will ever be able to look at me the same again. Okay. Okay.

I've been curating something for Vaughan. For those that have missed it, Hayley's Horny Book Club is a thing because right now on TikTok, Smut Talk is all the rage. Everyone is reading and recommending erotica romance Smut novels, basically. And one of my goals this year was to read more. And this really is helping. Do you think this is the kind of reading you imagined? I have never read in this way.

And then I've sort of stumbled across it through like Instagram and TikTok. And then it's an incredibly enjoyable world. And then I was recommended these groups to join, Facebook groups to join. And they're great. You know, they've got their own recommendations and whatnot. But I thought we've got such a strong, lovely community of ZDM listeners that I have launched my very own book club on Facebook that you can join. Wow.

It's called Hayley's Horny Book Club. To join, you basically, it's the same thing because it is R18. You have to join. There's some rules to be part of the group. Okay. But it is a place where we can all come together and recommend the books that you are reading, the things that you are looking for.

Like if you've stumbled across something extra spicy, tell us what it's about. Share it in the group and then other people can get some recommendations. We've got a community going. If you've stumbled across something extra spicy, tell us what it's about. Share it in the group and then other people can get some recommendations. We've got a community going. So you can find it. You can organise a book swap. We do book swap.

Ooh, I don't know if you want to. Do you know what I mean? Maybe like, you know. Yeah, like Lord of the Rings. But yeah, like this isn't it. Maybe not. But yeah, so you can search Hayley's Horny Book Club on Facebook or look at our socials and get a link. Yeah, right now on our Instagram story, FVHZN,

there's a link to Hayley's Horny Book Club with a graphic, a photoshopped image of you on a beanbag in front of a fire reading a... Mills and Boone. Mills and Boone. Mills and Boone. It's a classic. It's a classic.

And yeah, just have a lot of fun in there because these groups are wild. Now, I would like to be supportive to your endeavours, but I don't want to join this. I don't think you really belong in this club. I'm not the audience. It's fine. You can support me by not being in the group. Okay. It's because you can't read.

Yeah. Or is it? That's why. I think that's why I don't want to be in the group. You've It's because he can't read. Yeah. Or is it? That's why. I think that's why he doesn't want to be in the group. He's got a really low reading age. Yeah. Vaughn, do you want to join the book club? I don't read.

I'm sure your wife, Sade, will join. Yeah. She doesn't read horny stuff, though. Yeah, well, she will now. She will now. Neither did I. She'll listen to the audio books. Oh, you know, definitely audio recommendations as well.

I'm talking about your quins, your audibles, your e-books. Anything. Your physical books. Oh, you know, definitely audio recommendations as well. I'm talking about your quins, your audibles, your e-books, your physical books. Where are you getting them? What's the next thing? What are you looking for?

This is what I love. Some people come on and they're asking for something really specific. George, have you joined Hayley's Horny Book Club? It's on Facebook now,

George. Yeah, she's nodding her head. She's just walked in. Her eyes just widened. Yeah. But I could go on this Hayley's Horny Book Club if I was looking for

something specific to, you know, tickle my needs, but I needed some recommendations. I might go on and be like, I'm looking for something,

you know, workplace, workplace based, two men, one woman, any recommendations in that route. You are in a workplace

with two men and one woman. Yeah, I know. But I want to read a scenario in which that could get woman. Yeah, I know. But I want to read a scenario in which that could get crazy. Yeah, right. I'm definitely not

joining this Facebook page, I'll tell you right now. Well, if you want to join it, there's a link on our socials, Hayley's Horny Book Club. The page is up now on Facebook.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. How are you guys planning on celebrating Valentine's Day? Because I know I've got two very romantic lads in front of me here. You going to do something spicy, Vaughn, for sharps? Um, nah. Neither. We literally... Well, her birthday's the next day, so you can kind of jam those two together.

Oh, wow, you're combining them. Wow. Always, every year. Aaron and wow, you're combining them. Wow. Always, every year. No, Aaron and I have literally never celebrated Valentine's Day. And I care not for it. Fletch, anything for you and Margaret? Oh my God, I'm sorry.

I know that you got... Are you back on with Margaret? Because you've been a bit off and on. My fictitious wife. Yeah. We're off. Oh, you're off again. Thanks for bringing that up.

Oh, sorry. I thought you were playing up at that wedding at the weekend. I was like, here's a single boy at a wedding. He's being a real rascal, isn't he? Yeah. Well, it is happening on the 14th of February, also the day that Sex.Life Season 2 launches. Oh, I'm excited for this.

So if you aren't celebrating and you're single or whatever, celebrate by listening to that. But there is an animal shelter in New Jersey that has come up with a novel idea that is a perfect gift for an ex if you're feeling maybe perhaps a little bit jaded this Valentine's Day. So what you can do is you can make a $50 donation to this animal shelter, and I'm sure you'd be able to – I mean, I reckon New Zealand ones should do this. Yeah. $50 donation to an animal shelter and I'm sure you'll be able to, I mean I reckon New Zealand ones should do this. $50 donation to an animal shelter

you can name a feral cat after your ex and then that cat will be spayed and neutered before being released back into the wild and then your ex will receive a card saying that you've made a donation in their name and the message is because some

things shouldn't breed. So it'll be late. Valentine's Day, I have named this feral cat Vaughn, for example. But I have bred twice. Yeah, I know. With relative success, I think. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty good. I thought you were about to say with relatives.

I was like, not a Vaughn. No, no. I was like, no. I'm not afraid to say it. People won't pick a side a lot of times these days, but I will say I'm on the side of not procreating with anyone you're closely related to. Yeah, fair enough. Good side to be on. They receive a message

saying that this cat named Vaughn that I've named Vaughn has been neutered and spayed because Vaughn should never breed. Wow. And then they get that. Plus, you're actually doing something good. You're donating to this charity. You're stopping all these feral cats that don't have homes and stuff.

I feel like you've obviously got to send this to someone who's cheated on you. Yeah. Right? Like, you don't send that to someone you've had an amicable split with. That would be weird. Like, you have made the decision and been like, look, I love you. It's just we're heading in different directions. And then they open the mail and they're like, you should not breed.

Oh, my God, yeah. It's ruthless. I think this is a great idea for the SPCA who have come out saying that they're struggling with the very low adoption rates and a very busy kitten season. Because of the cost of living crisis, people are like, yeah. It's not a good time for a cat, but you can still donate to help them make sure they don't get even more cats.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, empty nest syndrome. This is what they call it when parents have to deal with their kids moving out of home. And this is in the news because this was a Wall Street Journal article delved into this. And apparently some parents are not dealing with the fact that their kids have left. Yeah. And they're spending hundreds of dollars on like therapists.

Well, on therapy. Some of them having, I guess, it wouldn't be a midlife crisis, like another life crisis, because they're like, well, what do we do now? The old empty nest syndrome. Live your life. Do something fun with their bedroom. Be absolutely stoked. Traveling around the world to save money. It's characterized by feelings of loss, grief, sadness, and loneliness

when your last or only child moves out of home. And it's apparently distressing. I can dig it. Really? I reckon if you'd spent 18 years and they were off to uni, for example, and all of a sudden they're not there every day and you've sort of like shaped your life around them being there,

I can see how people would get pretty ruined by it. I can understand the psychological theory of it, yes. being there, I can see how people would get pretty I get just ruined by it. I can understand the psychological theory of it, yes. But in practice. In practice. I mean, my parents love me, but they just do so much else that doesn't

involve me. So when I moved out, and also I moved out, but I was still in the same town. When I moved out, I lived in Wellington, they lived in Wellington. So literally I'd be around there at least a couple of times a week still. You know, I didn't like ship off to uni or anything like that. So it was easier for them

but then they just started just going to Italy for longer and spending money. You said you started this with, I know my parents loved me, but it doesn't sound like it. It really doesn't sound like it, do you? It really doesn't sound like it. Sounds like they love themselves more than they love you. But your parents, did they have a more than they love you. Yeah, probably. But your parents, did they have a crisis when everybody,

they kind of wanted you out because you were. Yeah, the rule was we had to move out. Yeah. We had to move out for our first year of uni or post-school just to experience a bit of the real world. But that's a teaching moment more than a desire, isn't it? Yeah, and we were allowed back, but for no longer than six months at a time. It really didn't sound like they wanted you there, did it?

God, that feels like a hostile environment. I mean, if they'd sent me to boarding school, all signs would have pointed towards them really not liking me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they let me stay home during school. Well, that's what I wanted to know. What happened, like what did your parents do when you or the last of your brothers or sisters moved out of home?

Like was there a midlife or a three-quarter life crisis? Or did they throw a party and literally, like, clip the back of your shoe as they slammed the door when you left? Or did they maybe just keep calling you and visiting you at uni or wherever you lived? Like, how did they handle it? This is what I want to know. I'm fascinated.

Convert your bedroom into a raunchy little... It's very mum to get into a knife. Fascinated. Convert your bedroom into a raunchy little... It's very mum to get into a craft. It's got big mum energy to take up a craft and dad just plays, I don't know, more golf if dad plays golf

or tennis if he plays that. He just does more of what he was already doing, right? What if you moved out and then your parents looked at each other and they were like,

ooh, just us. all the time. Divorcee. I bet that happens all the time. You knowcee. I bet that happens all the time. You know what I mean? Let's just stay together till the kids aren't here. So we've given them their safe haven during their formative years. Just got something to talk about, right?

And then they're gone and it's like, ugh, ooh, this guy. Okay, well this is what I want to know. 0800 DARS at M. You can text us as well, 9696. How did your parents change when you moved out of home? So apparently parents aren't

coping. Some parents aren't coping well when all their kids move out of home. Empty nester syndrome. Yeah. And they're getting therapy over it. Yeah, and so we want to know, like, how did your parents cope when you moved out of home? Like, did they get new hobbies? Did it all go downhill?

Or did they just change completely? Maybe they had a little midlife crisis. Brooke, what did your parents do? So my mum was empty nested this year with my younger sister, and she got a dog. And the dog is just well looked after more. Oh, wow. Okay, so now she's channeling her purpose and love into a dog,

and now you get less attention. Yeah, well, kind of. She takes the dog to work every single day, has a car seat. Yeah, but Brooke, you can't be jealous because you left and the dog didn't. You know? I don't know. You left me here alone, and the dog is here every day. Yeah, exactly.

And, like, she's OCD clean, and, like, she just let the house dog take over the house. I'm like, it's just changed her. What kind of dog is it? It's a toy convertible, so she's really cute. Yeah, little. Which is the really hard part, but, yeah. Well, great then. Great though.

Hypoallergenic. They don't drop hair all through the house. Yeah, exactly. So that ticks the box for mum's clean freakness. But it sounds like it's worked because you're jealous of this dog. Yeah, I know. Brooke's upset she wants to move home. Yeah, now you might move home.

Yeah, I know. And she's like, oh, I'm going to be sick. Oh, we're losing Brooke. You won't, you're just hitting it with your dog. Yeah, she's fine with the dog, Brooke. You are old news. Brooke, thank you. Laura, what did Dad do after the kids moved out of home?

So once we were all grown up and moved out of home, he's Irish and he was like, you know what? That's it. Me and Mum are moving home to Dublin. I haven't been home in like 25 years and live. So that was it. We all said like our say goodbyes. Fine.

I want to move to the other side of the world. Oh my God. She's like, you're moving, I'm moving. Yeah, yeah. But we understood, like, you know,

he's been here for a long enough time at his turn. Within six months, both my brother and sister had moved to the other side of the world and moved in with him.

They were like, we literally moved to the other side of the world to get away from you. We're coming. Great news. Yeah, it was like, we literally moved to the other side of the world to get away from you. We're coming. Great news. My turn, I'm out.

And my brother and sister, Hannah and Seamus, were like, nah, do you know what? I think we'll come and join you. To be honest, his name's Seamus. The only place for him is Ireland. Is Ireland. It's meant to be. It's meant to be.

Laura, thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696 0800 DALS at M. What happened with the parents when you moved out of home? A lot of parents getting dogs to fill that hole. I tell you, right now we're asking you how your parents reacted when you left home or all the kids were gone. Empty nest syndromes are getting a lot of therapy, apparently.

Yeah. A rise in the amount of therapy. Or by the text messages we've had, just get a dog. Getting dogs, getting therapy. Lots of dogs that get treated better than the children ever did. Therapy cheaper than dogs. Wild. Dogs love unconditionally though, don't they? Kate, what did your parents do when

you moved out? So they did grief for a little bit. Which grief? The last of four. Oh, did you say they grieved? They grieved. You said you... Oh, I heard Greece and I was like, beautiful.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Centurini. Oh, stunning. Yeah, Centurini. Yeah, or just Athens also. No, no, they were really sad.

Yeah, they grieved. Oh, they were actually sad or you just like to think they were sad? No, they were actually sad. Oh. It's lovely. I don't feel it. I think it's because I was the favourite. Okay. I they were actually sad. Oh. That's lovely. I don't feel it.

I think it's because I was the favourite. Okay. I'm not really sure. Right. And then so once they grieved, how did they cope with your loss? So they bought a spa and they have spa nights pretty much every night, sometimes without togs. Yeah, hell yeah. No togs.

Nudies. Whoa! With their friends and neighbours or just themselves? No, their friends and neighbours are actually spying on them, to be honest. Yeah. I actually think my parents spend a great deal of time nude. In the spa? No, they don't have a spa. They don't have a spa, but just around the place.

But just like they're always nude. Yeah. Put it on them. Why not? Why not? Especially in this humidity. So I'd love that they're just entertaining themselves with cocktails and nudie spas. Yeah.

Yeah, but all the kids now live within a 1K radius. Oh, don't just... This is a thing the kids are following. Just don't pop home without telling. Before we come over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. You don't want to send that in the spas. I don't send up a flare, actually.

That's a terrible piece of advice. It is. Kate, thank you. Some messages in. When we all moved out, my parents started a flare. No, don't send up a flare, actually. That's a terrible piece of advice. It is. Kate, thank you. Some messages in. When we all moved out, my parents started a swingers club, and I even believe they're using our rooms. My brother said he overheard them talking something about OnlyFans, but I don't have the heart to ask.

Oh, my God, I love that. That's so good. Oh, my God. My mum got herself a poodle. The poodle died after a few years, and she got a pug. I mean, it's jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. My dad got a young wife. Young as in four years older than us.

Well, you will still call her mum. Yeah. I'm not calling her mum. She's your mother now. Wow. When I went to boarding school at age 11, mum put a chicken egg incubator in my room. So whenever I went home for the holidays my room stunk

of chickens. They are particularly stinky if they don't get enough room to breathe and room to move. When I left they moved my sister into my room

and turned her room into a walk-in wardrobe and when my sister left they bought a dishwasher. Lots of parents getting divorced. Wow. Lots of parents

getting divorced. Really? Yep. My partner's parents divorced. They'd been married for 27 years and when we left home they just didn't have anything to do anymore. I like that they stayed together for the kids until they moved out. No, that's a bad idea. But then they were also

so unhappy. They must have been so unhappy during that time. This morning's topic is a little too close to home. My 18 year old is just about to head off to Dunedin. Oh, Dunedin. Oh gosh. Brace yourself. Just to reassure you. And I'm preparing

my 16 year old to stay locally, but moving out, MTS syndrome's hitting me hard. Love to hear how others are dealing with it. Well, there you go. Nudie spa, swinging clubs, get a dishwasher, get a dog. Yep. And grease. And go to Greece. And go to Greece.

Taylor Swift Thursdays back. And just, what, a couple of sleeps? Well, it's back on Thursday, my love. Thursday. You're understanding that, aren't you? Thursday. Am I saying that enough? It's Thursday.

Taylor Thursdays. So 6 a.m. Every Taylor Swift song you hear between 6am and 5.30. You've got to be the first through. 0800 dials at M. We put you in the draw that day with Brianne Clint for flights, accommodation and tickets. The last tickets. Have you, I just mentioned before her boyfriend's teams through the Super Bowl.

You'd be a bit excited about her travel if she wants to go to the Super Bowl. Why? Because she's in Japan the night before. Yeah. And they said the only plane that can get her to the Super Bowl and then back to Australia is the Concorde. Oh.

They're bringing the, she might, Taylor Swift might bring the Concorde out of retirement. The Concorde? Yeah. Oh, wow. The Concord? Yeah. Oh, wow. No. I don't know where you... It hasn't flown for like... I don't know.

Are you doubting the power? Of Taylor? She can do anything. She can do anything. I mean, she's got a private jet. If she leaves straight away... Yeah. Yeah, wow.

Maybe no encore for them, but... Ooh, no encore. It's not our concert, is it? Yeah. I don't know I'd just get out there I'd do shorter versions You'd get to sit while

and then back to Australia Well also apparently in Taylor Swift News Taylor Swift Thursdays on Thursdays Literally Thursdays Just did it No no but I just thought

we'd reiterate that Yeah thank you I'm going to try and get one in as well I thought we'd reiterate the station's major promotion Yeah yeah That's okay with you I'm a bit of a team player.

Yeah, sure. Maybe you could reiterate that at the end. You go again in the end, I've kind of gone in the middle. You go in the middle, I'll go at the end. Well, apparently now she could sway the US election. 18% of people have admitted they'd just politically blindly follow Taylor Swift if she was to

endorse a candidate. And you know, because on that documentary, Miss Americana, I just forgot the name of it, but the girls are nodding that I got there eventually. That was a really big thing for her was to speak out against Donald Trump. Well, he'll be back again. It is looking very much like it. It's very likely that he will.

But how many of her fans are like Donald Trump voters? Do you reckon there'll be many? But she's got so many fans, they have to be. Yeah, yeah. They have to have come from all sides of the political spectrum. I mean, she's not. But also really could alienate her, given how divisive it is. Yeah, yeah.

She wants to back her political candidate this time around. 18% are like, they would just vote for who she said. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to think of the New Zealand equivalent. Like what New Zealand celebrity could tell me to vote for what? You know, like a particular New Zealand party. No, see, in New Zealand it's always backfired when people say,

oh, this is who I vote for and I really like the policies of insert party here. It always blows up in their face. Yeah, yeah, totally. You best just not say anything. Yeah, yeah. Sit on the fence. Yeah, that's why I never. And be neutral.

I know. Every time I try to bring up ACT, you guys would mute my mic and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, well, hey, you got your way. Yeah. You got your way. There's 6%. That's MMP in play, baby.

That's a 6% And really having Far too much of a say Yeah Way too much of a say We talk in jest Yeah We talk in jest Way too much of a say

Wow I'm excited It'll be interesting to see If she's going to come out soon Or in the next year Yeah And do somebody Do you know what I'm looking forward to

Taylor Swift Thursdays That would happen So that's happening Every Thursday That's on Thursdays Very seamless from you Start 6 o'clock Every looking forward to? Taylor Swift Thursdays. So that's happening every Thursday. That's on Thursdays. That was very seamless from you. Starts six o'clock every time you hear a Taylor Swift song, call in if you're the first one to go on the draw to win flights,

tickets and accommodation to see her in Australia. Flights on the Concorde? No. I don't know, not on the Concorde, just on a plane. Russell Howard joins us in studio. Good morning. Good morning, everybody. How are we?

Really good. Really good. Now, you're about to kick off your New Zealand tour going pretty much everywhere except New Plymouth. I don't know what New Plymouth has done to you. I went there last time and it was great. Okay. But for whatever reason, it wasn't on the...

I didn't book it. I didn't sort of say, I must go to New Plymouth. Yeah, right. But I remember enjoying it. I walked around. It felt like an escape go to New Cliffs. Yeah, right. But I remember enjoying it. I walked around. It felt like an escape room. Do you know what I mean? Hard to get out of.

Yeah. A little claustrophobic. Yeah. Lots of people looking at me in a peculiar way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know when you're sort of like, am I wearing funny clothes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there something hanging out?

It's just, you maybe just look like you're from Auckland. You've sort of summed it up actually quite well. Do you think I look, I don't think I look like I'm from Auckland. No, just summed that up actually quite well do you think I look I don't think I look like I'm from Auckland no I'm just I'm out of town I'd say like a little German boy

a little German boy a lost German boy a lost German lad were you wearing your Lindenhausen yeah yeah yeah we did mention before you are a man

with quite a young boy's face yes and we say it in a complimentary way but Fletch thought that maybe we were being offensive

when we said that. Oh, no, you've got a young boy's face. I've got a German boy's face. A young German boy's face. And there's an old German man in my attic. When will you let me out? That's what you've got to keep them. Now, you have the notoriety of being one of our MIQ celebrities.

Yeah. Because the last time you came here was after... The lockdowns. We was after the lockdown. We were in the lockdown. No, we were kind of in and out. You were, so basically I was here just after it was January 2021. Yes. And I did the two weeks and I managed to

kind of gig all over and then the final gig in Auckland, I was doing two shows. The first show, Life Was Normal and then there was announcement in the break going, before tonight's final performance, afterwards you will have to stay in your houses for two weeks. Oh, no. And that definitely changed the gig.

Yeah. Rewrite, rewrite. Yeah, man. It was so... Wow. So then I did an extra two weeks in a sort of hotel, but not like full lockdown. Right.

Did you have a good experience? Because my parents did MIQ in 2021, January, and they got one of the bad ones. Oh, did they? Yeah, my mum said she could have clubbed my dad with the bread roll. It was so stale. Yeah, but they're five star, kind of.

They go to Italy and... Oh, yeah, I should mention my parents are a bit ooh-la-la. This two weeks, the stale bread was on the way back from six months initially. Yeah. But did you have an all right experience? It was probably just bruschetta that was left over. The tomatoes. It was probably just bruschetta that was left out. I missed the tomatoes.

It was alright actually. To be honest, we, it was, it's amazing how quickly it becomes great. Like, you were allowed to like

walk around in a circle in the garage and that was it. But, and initially you're like, well that sounds tedious and yet, if you're locked in a room

and you can't leave, the idea of just walking around in a circle like a penguin is actually kind of desirable. It's sort of embarrassing. I always remember feeling embarrassed about the celebrities that had to come to New Zealand and stay in the MIQ because usually if people from overseas come,

you want to host them, you want to take them out to the best bars and restaurants and wine and dine them and stuff, and you were stuck circling in a garage of a hotel. But it's something quite nice because they kept giving us treats. So they kept like, you'd hear this like... Treats? You're not a dog, Russell. But you'd get a knock like that

and then you'd open the door. You weren't allowed to contact humans and there would just be like some pineapple lumps. Pavlov. And so the knock became you'd start salivating every time you heard a knock. Well, that was it. And because you were going crazy,

it was like 10 days in, you were like, it's going to be drugs it'll be fine it'll be like ayahuasca some psilocybin just to push make the two weeks

just go like that was it good? alright yeah I went to the pyramid yeah wow it was pineapple lumps and they're a funny old thing

because when you're sort of locked in a room with nothing but pineapple lumps you have one and they're just rancid just utterly disgusting and then about an hour later you're like maybe and then i was destroying them yeah so you can

you can go to a zoo now and people are like i feel sorry for the animals you're like actually once you've been in there for a little while it's pretty good they get to do it oh they're having a smashing time yeah yeah i speak their language knock on the door and chuck them a pineapple lamp're absolutely lovely in many ways I can speak to the gorillas and then I walk in and they destroy me that's a psilocybin

they gave you on the last day the thing is there's always someone somewhere in some zoo that thinks they can read the bible to a tiger yeah read the bible to a tiger

that feels like the name of your next show I read yeah yeah read the bible to the tiger is there somewhere sounds like a sexual metaphor doesn't it watch yeah, yeah. Read the Bible to the Tiger. Is there somewhere because... Sounds like a sexual metaphor, doesn't it?

Watch out for him, he reads the Bible to the tiger. Hey, what are you doing? I'm going to go over and read the Bible to the tiger, you know what I mean? You've been here before and I feel like

you're sort of not a complimentary resident, what am I saying? Like a token, honorary resident. Honorary, oh wow, that's very kind. Because you travelled around a lot,

you'd like filmed a lot around and then you made a show based on your travels around the country. Did you have a favourite place? I really like Rotorua because of the audacity of the place. Yeah. The fact that it calls itself Rota Vegas, despite the fact it hasn't got a casino. It's quite ironic, yeah.

But I just love that. I love the idea of some American tourists going, where's the casino? Yeah. Oh, no, it's small just sort of because it's there isn't one yeah yeah yeah it just stinks yeah it smells like straight up eggs is there uh did you have a worse place uh do you have a worse place you can say it well let's not go back to your plan we did um we did some shows in nelson that were pretty pretty strange. There was lots of people on the back of their cars that were carrying around pigs that they killed. And that was pretty strange.

Do you know what I mean? I was just little old German me just walking around. This little German boy in Nelson. And there were lots of pigs being dragged on the back of cars. And that really... Like on utes? Yeah. Or like...

Yeah, right. On like several cars. So they've been like hunting hunting and then they were just sort of like dragging them along like you know like truck nuts you see in america yeah but yeah it was like this weird bumper sticker it was odd are you going to nelson this year no okay yeah no that's why i can say that yeah the gigs were fun but there was there was an air of sort of burning pork in the air. It wasn't a bad smell. Do you know what I mean?

As far as if you're going to drag any animal. He loves a sausage. Poking in the morning. This is a pork sausage. I'm looking forward to eating this. That was alright. Thank you. I went to drama school.

Do you want to see my Arnie? I'm not getting a chopper. The boys think it's really bad. Yeah, that was awful. Are you sure? A minute ago, you were, you know. So I got better as a German boy? That's better.

Oh, okay. You can do young Arnie. Do young Arnie. Lifting something up. Oh, I want to be strong one day. There you go. Get in there. That's the key.

I'm just going to do young Arnie. You're just going to do young Arnie. Exactly. This is it. Everyone's doing impressions of people when they're in the public eye and everyone knows them. Get in there. That's the key. I'm just going to do young Arnie. You're just going to do young Arnie. Exactly. This is it. Everyone's doing impressions of people when they're in the public eye and everyone knows them. Do them young.

Yeah. Do them when they were kids. Imagine that. That is genuinely a great act, isn't it? Here's Mick Jagger when he was eight. Okay. I'm not getting in that nursery, mum. I don't want to go.

Nursery's not eat, mum. No, that was beer. I watched The Stones. My mate supported them. it's one of the funniest gigs I've ever seen in my life have you ever seen them live

no oh my god it's so funny it's like they've just been kidnapped from an old folks home I know dressed by teenagers my dad recently

my mum and dad saw them in Italy recently they're quite posh yeah and it was like a couple of days after he'd recovered

from Covid so imagine like an old man dancing around the stage but he's wheezing and like could barely sing or anything it was terrible a couple of days after he'd recovered from COVID. So imagine like an old man dancing around the stage, but he's wheezing and barely singing or anything. It was terrible. But he was doing like bantering between the songs. He was at Twickenham Stadium.

He was talking about the local buses. He goes, yeah, did anyone else get the 263 from Tewi? And then suddenly, it was no link between the banding. It was brilliant. Just a bandering old man. Yeah, it was my Nurofen. I'm really starting to feel it. I gotta get.

Absolutely amazing. It's a miracle they're even alive. Yeah, it is. We're just thankful for what we can get from the Rolling Stones at this stage. Absolutely. Well, have an amazing time on tour. Honestly, looking forward to it. Hitting Dunedin, Crashich, Wellington, Palmerston North,

Whanganui, Tauranga, Hamilton, Auckland, a couple of shows there, and Hawke's Bay. Not Nelson because of the pig thing. Not New Plymouth because you look at him weird like he's a little German boy. Exactly. Russell, thank you so much for coming in. Cheers. Thanks, guys.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is about the saying resting on your laurels. Because it is fact of the day week. Origins. Origins of sayings. Resting on your laurels. And unusual words.

Laurels. Well, the laurels, you achieve a mark of success, right? And then once you've achieved them, you don't want to just sort of rest on them. Yeah, but why are they called? Like, what's a laurel? Leaves. Like, was it someone that died and they just kind of became all crusty and became a seed? No, it's not a name.

Leaves. They're like little leaves, aren't they? And her name was Laurel. And her name was Laurel, became crusty, somewhat like a seed. And so on the way, everyone would just sit down and rest on Laurel. Rest on Laurel. And then people would be like, come way, everyone would just sit down and rest on Laurel. Rest on Laurel. And then people would be like, come on, you don't want to rest on your Laurel. Don't rest on Laurel.

And then it sort of changed from there. Yeah, it got the zlater. Or has he done the fact of the day? Hayley's way closer. So in ancient Greece, you were awarded Laurel leaves in a headband sort of manner. Oh, like a Jesus thing. That's why on show posters. Jesus's was famously made of thorns.

His was a crown of thorns, a punishment. Right, okay. The laurel band would sit on your head like a crown. So more like a Christmas cracker. Crepe hat. Crepe paper. Crepe paper hat. Yeah.

A cross between that and a Christmas wreath on the front door. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So closely tied to Apollo, the god of music, prophecy, and poetry, Apollo was usually depicted with a crown of laurel leaves, and then that became a symbol of status and achievement.

And then athletes at the ancient games would receive wreaths made of laurel branches, and the Romans later presented wreaths to generals who won important battles. I thought that was, they were olive. Olive branches are a peace offering. Extending an olive. Extending an olive branch is a peace offering. Mmm. That's why

they have them on their bloody film festivals. Those are the laureates. I've just googled them. They're bay leaves. Bay leaves? Yes, from the same family as the bay leaf, which you put in cooking. And they do absolutely nothing,

but we keep putting them in. Well, let's hate if you accidentally eat them. Wow, she's coming out swinging against Indian spices today, isn't she?

She's really wild. The bay leaf absolutely contributes a lot of those. What about a lime leaf, a kefir leaf? Yeah, kefir lime will change a meal.

Oh, and a tie dish? But a bay leaf in a bog or something, absolutely not. Okay. So you can, I'm just looking here, you can buy a tree and make your own laurels at home and then you can rest on your own laurels. But the idea of it, the saying resting on your laurels was once you had won the award and you were living off a past glory,

one was to rest upon their laurels. Yeah. That just summarises me. I don't try once I get something. Yeah, well, I won the Poynton Cup in 2001 for my speech in seventh form. And then you gave up. Yeah, seven. You gave up speeching.

And I've sort of just been bringing that up ever since. Yeah. Just resting on that. Yes. Literally resting on your laurels. Literally. Yeah. So if you win a Nobel Peace Prize,

you're a Nobel laureate, meaning you... Right. And it's used in very posh, sort of pomp and circumstance to chuck on the end of an award. Yeah. Like you said,

films have the laurel. Like theatre festivals do at Edinburgh when you get like a quote or something, you put it in a laurel. Is that what... Oh, okay. You know, you put it in a laurel? Is that what? Oh, okay. You know, like palm door and it says that. Or winner of the Cannes Film Festival.

They can't and it's like laurels. Those are laurels. A laurel band indicating a win and then resting on your laurels, meaning I've already done it, so past glories. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the origins of the saying to rest on your laurels dates back to the headbands of ancient times. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Now, listen up. I believe I... Sorry, my headphones play out. I believe that this is not an impossible topic in terms of I think this would happen maybe quite often. I don't know. But I think it may be an impossible phone because I don't know that people are going to open up about it

and share it with us. So this is what happens with the impossible phone and topic. A topic that we think is going to be hard to get calls on. Yeah. And we are often surprised. And I hope that is the case today. So this came to me calls on. Yeah. And we are often surprised. And I hope that is the case today. So this came to me via Reddit. Okay. And it was

true off my chest is the thread. Okay. Not a big Reddit girl. And this woman wrote, my husband and I, for four years, had an open relationship until now. It started about a year back when my husband said that he wanted to open up the relationship

since he never experienced what it was like to date other people we met as teenagers. Oh, right, like high school sweethearts. Yeah. Okay. So she originally was like, absolutely not. Like, that's not my cup of tea. But they kind of ended up like coming around to it. And she said, I did feel a little bit of a pressure to do it.

But I was like, look, if it's going to make you happy, you're my husband and I'm going to do this. I can see where this is going already. So at first he would go out and she would get quite depressed and stay at home by herself. You know, kind of come into grips with this, feeling insecure. And then she thought, you know what? I've just got to go out and just give it a go. Like, this is what he wanted and I'll just try. Okay.

The moment she hooked up with one person, the husband was like, ooh, absolutely not. Hated it and wanted to close the deal. Wait, but he'd already been out there fulfilling his needs. Willy-hin-illy. And then the moment she does it, he's like, oh no, I can't handle this. Willy Hanilly. And then the moment she does it, he's like, oh no, I can't handle this. Yeah.

Wow. So. Color me not surprised. Yeah. Color me the beigest of beigest. Sometimes, well, this works a lot for couples. Some couples love it. They're like, go you.

Yeah. So, one thing to note. We've got a suffix. The one person that the wife hooked up with was a woman. Oh, okay. Hot. Didn't see that coming. I thought it was going to be a hotter guy.

Yeah. Like way hotter than the husband. No, I think the husband was just like, what? Do you think it's because he cannot provide anything that that woman offers? Yes.

Yes. But wouldn't that be less? Well, there's a couple of things he could do that she could do, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but not, you know. Yeah.

But then wouldn't you be- She's got something that I don't have, basically. He just panicked and closed the relationship, even though he had been absolutely going for it. Right. So my impossible phone today is,

what went wrong in the open relationship? Okay. Like, how did that backfire? Have you been in this situation? Or you know of someone, like a relationship that tried this? Yeah. But it's totally backfired. But you hear about this, like couples do an open relationship

and then all of a sudden one of them finds someone and they end up leaving them for them. Falling in love. Falling in love. That's rolling the dice on an open relationship. I know. I know. It's purely physical, purely physical.

And then you're like, but I like this person more than you now. I've connected to somebody. I like hanging out. And then the grass is greener. Grass is greener. And of course it's not, but they're just fresher and newer and more exciting.

Well, they're delicious green grass. Delicious green grass, because you've got stale old weeds. Stale old weeds. That's why my Mingers only policy in my open relationship works fine. Absolute Mingers only. Well, and that's the thing.

People that do have open relationships have rules, don't they? Maybe they only do it overseas. You've got relationships have rules, don't they? Like, maybe they only do it overseas. You've got to have rules. Yeah, or when I'm away. It's a no feelings thing. Yeah, overseas is good

because you're like... You're never going to see them again. The no feelings thing's a ridiculous thing to say. I know, I know, I know. Oh, as long as we don't develop feelings because you know how feelings work,

they can be ignored and successfully. So 0800-DARLS-IT-M. We want to take your calls now for the impossible phone and topic. I know, I know. As long as we don't develop feelings, because you know how feelings work, they can be ignored unsuccessfully. So 0800DARLSATM, we want to take your calls now for the impossible phone and topic. You can text as well anonymously. 9696 is the text number. Yes, feel free to be anonymous. Did your open relationship backfire?

What happened? We are in the midst of an impossible phone because I think it might be impossible to get people to open up about this, whether your open relationship backfired. Because there are many stories on this Reddit thread of people in an absolute storm of backfiring. And so a guy suggested it

to his childhood sweetheart, a long-term relationship. Because he'd never slept with anyone else and then he went out. Yep. And then she finally goes out and sleeps with a woman. And he's like, absolutely not. Shuts it down.

And she's like, wait a minute. You wanted this. Becky, what happened? So I was in a long-term relationship with my male partner. Yeah. We decided to open the relationship for me because I was a little bit like, oh, exploring my sexuality.

Yeah. So we opened it up for about a month or two. And then I met a woman and realized I was completely and utterly gay. Yeah. Full on fell in love with her in everything. Wow. Women are pretty hot, eh?

You and I can connect here on an emotional level. I reckon this would happen to any woman. Women rule. So yeah, we mutually split because of this. But this happened about a year and a half ago, I think. And we're still really good mates to this day. Because was he just happy for you that you had made this discovery about yourself?

Yeah. Yeah, he was. See, that's a good man. Yeah. That's a great way. That didn't go wrong. That kind of went awkward stumble and then like the best thing ever.

Are you still with this woman now or no on and off on and off okay well that's that's a whole that sounds like a whole story

for another day yeah yeah we'll call back with that story tomorrow are you an off and on lesbian are you an off and on lesbian

yeah yeah yeah hey good for you Becky I love this I love that for you thank you for opening up and sharing 0800 DARSADAM keep your texts coming through

9696. When did the open relationship not work out? The impossible phone-in topic today. Did your open relationship backfire? Now, not impossible because we don't think this happens much.

No, clearly not. More the fact that New Zealanders, we're shy. We're cute and shy. Don't want to talk about it. People are sharing. I know, and I love this. Yeah, I know. I love the person who messaged in saying,

I had an open relationship with my partner for a good 10 years. I guess I just didn't know about it. Wow. Not quite an open relationship. That's not how that works. Open relationship backfire. I'd been in a relationship back for, I've been married to my wife for a few years, decided to spice things up with another woman in the boudoir. Okay.

She was keen as and had a woman from her gym come around. They ended up not including me and I sat in the corner and watched. There's a word for that, but we won't say that. We won't say that. Fast forward and we get a divorce, but find out she's pregnant with my child. They get married and we've raised our son in a two mum, one dad situation.

I've been married about three times since her now, so all good. That is like the plot for Shortland Street or something. That's wild. That's good. That's good. There's a really long one coming but I haven't pre-read it. Do you want to pre-read and I can go through some of the thinner ones?

Okay, yeah. Because I can see that some of the thinner ones? Okay, yeah. You know, because I can see that it's a fatty, it's a novel. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, my girlfriend and I decided to give up,

give open relationship a whirl. I got bugger all attention, I'm a dude. She did all right though, brought a girl home from town one night. Oh my God, there's messages.

And it somehow turned into a tricycle ride. Okay. Well, that didn't backfire into a tricycle ride. Okay. That didn't backfire. That worked well for you. Yeah. Hang on. The one we read out before,

was that the exact situation with Ross from Friends? Was it a girl from the gym that came around? Because people are just messaging on that. You've just read out the story of Ross from Friends. Did we get played? Did we get played or did somebody actually, I mean everything is an episode of

Friends yeah I don't think I've seen that episodes there's lots of Friends episodes this is weird but every now and

then there'll be one on telly I'll be like I haven't seen this one before how have you yeah I just haven't

seen them to be honest Hayley's having trouble keeping up with the text I'm so scared I'm so scared in terms of

reading something wrong. Do we do the long distance Hamilton to Auckland? That wasn't really an open relationship. They completely missed the point of the phone until Okay, okay. My friend's partner rang me saying she's cheated on me, she's cheated on me. Turns out in their 10 year relationship, 8 of those

years had been open and or hall passes. We know all about hall passes. But my friend hadn't stepped out and had been looking after their two Oh yeah, well that's terrible. They hadn't done it and had been looking after their two children for the last seven years instead while her partner went out and did what she wanted. She finally

decided she was ready to also step out and the moment, step out meaning I think go give it a go. Yep. The moment my friend did the moment my friend stepped out and her partner didn't like it. Yeah. So he was the guy that called her saying, she's cheating on me, she's cheating on me. But they were just in an open relationship.

And she had finally decided to cash in her chips. Oh, yeah. Got it. Got it. It's got to be good for both of you. Yeah. You can't be like, I want to play out, but you're not allowed. Yeah, yeah, right.

My girlfriend one day suggested we should have an open relationship. I said yes. And two weeks weeks later she broke up with me. Then I found out she'd been sleeping with her current boyfriend three months prior to the agreement. Oh, so she's trying to save it by going, let's go open. Yeah, but I think she was trying for some kind of soft breakup. Yes, I think so. Yeah, I think it sounds like it.

Yeah, that sounds like a plan to kind of see her. And she might have even said maybe we should see other people, and he took that as an open relationship indicator, but she was like trying to end it. Oh, that'd be terrible. I think we should see other people. Absolutely, that's great. Okay, so do you want to do Tuesdays, Thursdays?

I'll do Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. I think in the past we've talked to our friend Morgan Penn, sexologist, about this very thing. And communication. Communication is key. It's very important. As it is with all areas of a relationship. Well, there you go. I wasn't listening. My communication was

poor. Yeah, it was. I read the big fat one. Oh, yeah. It was quite the novel. It's huge. But it's it feels toxic to end on. Okay, so you don't want to read that out. That's fair enough.

We'll end on a positive note of saying communication is key and to each their own and make sure that, you know, you keep talking to each other and keep following the rules and set lovely boundaries. And a namaste and a jobless. A bit of a namaste for you. Oh. What did you tell me?

Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey, guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Oh, not for me. Vaughan? Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close.

You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.