ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 30th May 2024

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

SLP: Do you keep a separate bank account from your partner The devil of dublin Top 6 bringing Xmas to Queen St Smith and Cauhey Vaughan saw a lighting strike! Fact of the day day day day dayyyyyySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things at Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Platt Lake. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six.

Also news this morning coming out of America that Ticketmaster has, well, hackers have claimed that they have breached Ticketmaster. Oh. 500 million accounts. So would that be worldwide or just America, do you reckon? Nah, that'd be worldwide. Would that be us here?

That's Mr. Worldwide. Is that Mr. Worldwide, is it? That's Mr. Worldwide. Ticketmaster NZ. Well, it might just be a good idea. I might just pop it? That's Mr. Worldwide. Ticketmaster NZ. Well, it might just be a good idea. I might just pop my credit card off my account, actually. I might just quickly go pop that off. I don't know.

It'd be too late. But it might just be a good idea to change your password. Pranks on them. There's no money on it. Shiny hackers are claiming responsibility. The hacker group is selling the data for half a million dollars on a popular hacking forum. Fun.

Ticketmaster have yet to comment on the situation or corroborate, so if they're to be believed. They should buy it back from the hackers. Do you know mine? Yeah. Charmin. Well, hopefully it's just America, not us. Yeah. Nah, 500 million, that's too many Ticketmaster accounts.

That's too many, yeah. That's everybody, right? Well, maybe change your password just to be safe this morning, just in case. Why stick with Via Go Go? The reliable Via Go Go. That's why you got turned away at Pink, isn't it? That's why I got turned away at Pink, because of Via Go Go. That was a good concert.

They wouldn't let you into UB40 either, would they? No, thanks to Via Go Go. You know our friend Big Hearted James couldn't get into a pink concert because he got a Via Go Go ticket

back in the day. You just don't. I thought he might have thought gays just got in for free. No. I just turned up and I'm like,

I'm here for pink and they're like, sir, where's your ticket? And he's like, um, I'm homosexual. Oh no, sir, sir, sir, sir, no, sir. Gays have to pay. Gays must pay.

Gays pay, man. The gays pay. Coming up on the show, The Top Six, sad news yesterday. One of Auckland City's, it's been around forever, Smith and Coggies. Coeys.

That's how it's spout, Coggies. Coggies, Coeys. It's a rad old building I think I apart from Santa photos and one decoration have never purchased anything from Smith & Co It's well outside my price range

They've got a bit of a mix They have lots of all the bottom levels, like makeup and fragrances It's a sad state of affairs. It's like when Kikoldian Stains closed. Very devastating. H&J Smith down south.

Yep. They're all kind of... Is it because they're a bygone era? Well, David Jones, we got over from Australia. Well, that didn't last in Wellington, but that's still going strong in Newmarket. I go there a bit. It's a great store.

Yeah. I just wonder if it's, yeah, just a side of the times. Yeah, like a lot of the department stores in America, like Macy's are kind of downsizing and shutting a lot of stores around the place. Smith & Co. used to have one of those pneumatic tubes. Oh, cool. You'd put the money in it and it'd go up

and then they'd do the, put the receipt in, put the change in, down, back down to you. How cool is that? You're going to deal with the imminent Boom. Down. Back down to you. How cool is that? You're going to deal with the imminent closure. Well, the shittiest thing about it is that Christmas was always like the best time for Smith & Co. They had the most amazing window displays. So good. They had top tier Santa visits.

Did they say they're closing down next year? Like, will there still be a Christmas? I think there might be one last Christmas. One last Christmas? Oh, it'll be a goodie. Okay. So I've got the top six ways to bring Christmas to downtown Auckland. After we lose Smith & Co East.

Yeah. They'll have no good Santa, no top tier Santa, and no window display. Deal with that soon in the top six. Also, coming up, so you've got some, we'll go to the celebrity desk. Yes. I've got some celebrity gossip, actually. Okay. From none other than

Hollywood A-lister James Blunt. He slipped a little bit on the list. We've heard what Blunty said yesterday. This is wild. We've spoken to him. He's so, and if you ever follow him on social media, he's so funny. So funny. He's so funny.

He recently checked into a hotel in the United Arab Emirates and it said, this hotel welcomes James Blunt. And it had a lot of photos of James Blunt, but one of the photos was of Eddie Redmayne. Oh, fantastic. Well, he he's revealed a sort of a

salacious piece of gossip that if true, is honestly outrageous. Next on the show though, how about a ride to see the Titanic in a submarine? No, thank you. What could go wrong? We're well documented what could go wrong. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Well, a billionaire real estate guy from Ohio is set to plunge to the depths of the Titanic. Don't do it. In a submersible, which he hopes will be a new way to take tourists down to the Titanic. Shut up. Yeah. What is going on? But he was angry at the last guy, right? Yeah, because I think the last guy kind of cut corners and stuff.

I mean, obviously it was budget because it imploded. It was controlled by an Xbox controller. Let's not forget. But so were US drones. Yeah, but you were not riding drones. They were like, we can spend millions of dollars

designing a control system or we can just use an Xbox controller. I thought they would have gone for some kind of Logitech joystick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like maybe... A little steering wheel. A little steering wheel. Yeah.

A pedal, a foot pedal. Yeah. You know, get those full gamer chairs. Yeah. Now, there's a photo of them all around that table in the Situation Room, and some dude looks like he's just about to be like, you guys want to jam some Mortal Kombat?

Yeah. What's that? Quick time for a game? Well, this billionaire, Larry Connor, he is set to dive. It's a $20 million two-person submersible. And yeah, apparently he's been working on this for years. And yeah, like you say, I think he was a bit pissy at the last guy for kind of ruining the whole thing.

Yeah. But I don't think you're going to get people paying to do that in a hurry, right? No. Literally the only good thing about what happened last time is that they didn't have any pain. They just went... But you're forgetting he's a white male billionaire. You can't tell them what to do.

Oh, yeah, sorry. This is what I was going to... My question, what is it when you get so much money that this is the thing that excites you? It's ego, right? It's being able to do something that someone hasn't done before. Yeah, no one's ever told you no.

How did he make his billions? Real estate. Okay. We're still making money out of real estate, are we? I thought we were just losing money. Apparently. I thought we were paying

exorbitantly high interest rates and not seeing the increase in property prices that we'd seen in previous times. Yeah. Is that all we're doing? Is that all we're doing? Did you just expect it

to just keep going up and up and up and up? Oh, yeah, I was kind expect it to just keep going up and up and up and up? And up and up and up. I pulled the ladder up behind me and I was like see ya suckers. If you're not on the property ladder it doesn't exist anymore. And I pulled the fingers down. How's that working out for you? It sucks. Yeah okay.

I'll just hop on one roof and see the value of my house currently. Is it less or more? Oh far less. Far less despite the improvements. Right. You would never get into this thing, would you? No, not in a million years. Not in a million years.

I also don't want to see the Titanic. Okay, you have to choose one, this, submersible, to see the Titanic or go up in one of those Space X rocket things. I just want to stay on Earth. I'd go to space too. Space hasn't had the sordid history. I mean, there's been blow-ups. But there's been a lot more predecessors.

Yeah, I'd have to go to space. But it makes me want to vomit in my mouth. I know because you're scared of space. I'm so scared of space. Can't we just stay on Earth? Can't we just stay on the planet that we destroyed until we die? Like that's it I can't

I can't I don't want to leave anywhere 12 past 6 Next on the show let's head to the James Blunt desk I'm sitting at it Yep People don't know in studio that we have a James Blunt desk But it's been sitting unused for a while

Good to finally use it Yeah it's great We've got some gossip from James Blunt This is good goss too Good goss Good A level goss Oh yeah It's been sitting unused for a while. Good to finally use it. Yeah, it's great. We've got some gossip from James Blunt. This is good goss too. Good goss. Good A-level goss. Oh, yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So there was a tabloid that it was from 1843 to 2011. That's how long this tabloid. It's called News of the World. I remember that. Yeah, there was always scandals. They were always like, my wife pregnant to alien. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trash.

It was always wild stuff. Ancient Egyptian pharaoh. No, it was proper news. Drank my point. Like, Pino Daily Mail or The Sun or that kind of vibe. No, you're thinking of there was another one that was like that. News of the World. The Sun was one of the trashiest ones.

I thought News of the World was the... Oh, I can't remember. Maybe they did have some alien abductions. Probably. Well, they were at one time, they were the world's highest selling English language newspaper, known for their juicy stories, out of the UK. And James Blunt claims that this tabloid

had women on their payroll that were paid to sleep with celebrities and then report back about those celebrities' sexual performances. Oh, my God. That is wild. He said that he had received emails from them about going out to this event and whatnot and that these two women were there

and they seduced him and they were hot and there was a little flat and knotting ill and it had a fold-down bed and that they were paid to sleep with him and he did it. and it had a fold-down bed, and that they were paid to sleep with him, and he did it. Oh, on a fold-down bed. And he did it. So I'm trying to figure, he said, the girls were bringing men back to the studio in Notting Hill,

which had a fold-down bed, filmed the encounter, and then handed it over to the paper. The girls were hot. I'd met them, and sure enough, I had done the deed. So obviously they hired, like, two. On a fold-down bed. Yeah. I'd be them and sure enough, I had done the deed. So obviously they hired like two. On a fold down bed. Yeah. I'd be like, come back to.

James Blunt, yeah, take them back to the nice hotel. Yeah. Or like, come back to mine, I've got a queen size. Yeah. And apparently, there was all these emails, because then the guy who was the editor of News of the World, he actually ended up going to jail. For a number of things, for phone hacking,

and invasion of privacy and stuff. Was it Hugh Grant? They tapped his phone? They hacked some of the royals as well? Yeah. Oh, Harry wanted them gone, didn't he? Yeah, totally. He said that there was phone evidence of this guy,

Andy Coulson, who was the editor, discussing how best to portray my orgasm. And then the editor had said, I reckon he'd sing it. So he'd done it. He'd literally slept with these people that were on the payroll. Amazing. And then those women had gone

to the thing and been like, okay, well here's the review of the performance, including all this. But I don't know if it was ever published in this tabloid. Because I was just looking for it, being like, I don't think it was published. I think that it all got kind of stopped before

it got published. But he was like, yeah, I went to this thing and I slept with these women. That's something that's come out of the Donald Trump trial that's on at the moment in New York, which, by the way, the jury today deciding. They've gone into deliberation. Oh, which, by the way, the jury today deciding. They've gone into deliberation. Oh, fingers crossed for our boy, Don Don's. Don Don's.

But they talked to, like, a tabloid editor about how they'd catch and kill stories. Like, they'd just pay people off, make them sign a nondisclosure, and then just the story would go away. Yeah, totally. So I was just looking because during the like peak, peak James Blunt years when he was like the thing, he was single. So like go for it.

It's not now. Could you imagine that job? Like worst jobs to have. Way worse jobs to have, especially if you were already a sex worker, right? Well, I guess so, yeah. If you were happy to be paid to sleep with people. Does he say who the women were?

No, he just says that they were hot. He just says that they were hot. I like his honesty here. I appreciate the bluntness of James Blunt. Yeah, he's so funny. If you were the CEO of this company, or the editor, or whatever, and you had this idea to put people on your payroll,

how are you getting that past the payroll people, HR people, legal? I don't know if there was an HR department at News of the World or any of these British tabloids. And what are they all – like what's your role? Petty cash. Petty cash.

You reckon petty cash. You've got to go to reception and ask for a bit more petty cash to pay the girls who are about to go meet James Blunt. Get a bit of discretion with a bit of cash for informants? Or you're not supposed to pay for informants, because that makes it not ethical. Oh, I don't know, actually.

I don't know. People will just tell you what you want to hear. That's the vibe of it. Yeah, true. But also, I don't think tabloids are ethical. And they would definitely pay for stories. Yeah, yeah, totally. 100%. I'm just trying, like, I want evidence of other women that these people slept with well probably just like any kind of story where there was a random woman yeah unnamed woman said she slept with celebrity that's probably what they did yeah probably wild i know crazy eh i love that james

blunt is so as you say blunt like he just says it he's so, like, self-deprecating and, like, yeah, he's fantastic. But this is, like, a wild story. Next, the top six. Yeah, the top six ways to bring Christmas back to Queen Street after Smith & Coie leaves. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Smith & Coie's is a legendary Auckland store on Queen Street in Auckland. It's an old, prestigious building. Yeah. What will they do with it? I know, I was wondering that.

Because they've announced that they're going to close in 2025. Yes, next year. So that'll give us one more Christmas because they're famous for the window displays and an A-class Santa. 144 years it's been open. Yeah. I mean, that's just a hell of a stretch for a business. And you talked about Wellington. I know, Kirkcaldy and Staines.

Yep. It's like family tradition going to these things. Yeah. It was for me with Kirk's, the Wellington version. You go every Christmas and we get a new Christmas decoration and see the window displays. All over the country, malls, not malls, department stores have been closing.

Yeah. Like long running. How do you call the malls? Yeah, well, that's what's caused the closure of the malls. I do love a Westfield. I do love a Westfield. They survived the mall. They did. I think it might have been the internet that did it.

Well, they've called it a perfect storm, haven't they? Like, people aren't spending as much money at the moment. Yeah. We've had COVID. Not enough people downtown. Queen Street's a shithole. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

It's a bit of a dump. I don't know. What was my neighborhood? Queen Street is awful. You've got to pull your socks up. I'm pulling my socks up. Pretty good. Her neighborhood?

Oh, lovely. Pretty good. Your neighborhood? Trash. It's a dumpster fire. It's a dumpster fire. Sort it out. You know how much tagging there is in my neighborhood?

If all. Well, I'm going to just come around. When I'm around at your place on Friday, I'm going to tag your fence. What would your tag be? Probably just a cat face. Like a cute cat with ears. The tabby tagger. Yeah, the tabby tagger. You'd probably do something stupid

like, right, Carl Fletcher. Everyone's like, why'd you do that? You could have a name. That's your exact name. Well, I got the top six ways to bring Christmas cheer to downtown Auckland without Smith & Coey's. Giving it to us. Number six on the list.

We give a sack of presents to that guy that walks around with a beard and a red jacket. He's also got piss stains on his pants and a ciggy, but enough, close enough, you know. Sam from afar, good from afar, far from good. That's the best we can do. Yeah, it's what we'll be able to do. He'll do it too.

Number five on the list of the top six ways to bring Christmas to downtown Auckland without Smith and Coie. Plant some invasive wildling pines. So it looks like there's trees, Christmas trees. Oh, yeah. On the main street. There's wildling pines everywhere down South.

So we get a few of those, put them in the planter boxes on Queen Street. I'm always hearing about there's wildling pines everywhere down South. Right. So we get a few of those, put them in the planter boxes on Queen Street. Can't help but feel people will cut those down, won't they, when they come of size? For Christmas.

For Christmas. And then we'll just be left with some sad stuff. If you come into Queen Street to sell a Christmas tree, have it. You've got some balls on you. You deserve them.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to bring Christmas to downtown Auckland without Smith and Coie. You know that machine that goes down sort of mostly

after the weekend and sweeps and washes away all the wheeze and spew from the air. Yeah, I see that every morning on the way to work. Yeah, that machine.

Get it to spray a little Christmas cookie scent. Oh. Maybe not. I say if they change up the scent of whatever detergent

they're using to wash the streets. Yeah. How often does that go, in all seriousness? I always say it. Yeah, it's always going around. Every day it's cleaning that street. Pretty much, yeah.

And it's still not enough. Especially after the weekend. Yeah, especially on Wednesday nights big. So much waste. Is Wednesday nights still a student night? Yeah, you still see lots of drunk people on a Thursday morning. Jesus.

Jesus, take the wheel. Number three on the list of the top six ways to bring Christmas to downtown Auckland without Smith and Coie. I say we... Three dollars. Shannon says three dollars cruises. Three dollars. Who's doing three dollar cruises?

No, not still. Not shadows. No. Hold on. Shannon's... Yeah, but 101 loves it And there's also Fishbowls Right, okay

Fishbowls Well, there you go That's why I see people out on Thursday mornings $3 cruises Yeah And that's why that machine Needs to go down the road I'll have a cruiser for $3

People are spewing up raspberry cruises Yeah Yeah, if we're having cruises What flavour are we going? Raspberry I'd just go lime To keep it as close to a normal drink as possible I believe so

Okay Vodka Cruises Despite it being fluoro green I'd just go with lime to keep it as close to a normal drink as possible. I believe so. Okay. Vodka, cruisers. Despite it being fluoro green. I definitely go. I feel like Vaughan's going to say something like passion fruit. Oh, you monster. I'm not going to say passion fruit. I'm not even going to say cruiser.

This just looks like candy water. No, but if we're going out on a Wednesday, we'll have three bucks. I, a 42-year-old man, needs to put in my date of birth to Google what cruiser flavors there are. Black cherry cola. Yuck. Vanilla cola. Get out. Wild raspberry. There's you. That's me. You're parking up on a wild raspberry. There's watermelon. Lush guava.

Pure pineapple. Exotic lychee. Lychee maybe? Summer peach. Zesty lemon lime. Bold berry or juicy watermelon. Well, please. We're hankering for a cruiser. Please drink responsibly. I'm not. I'll go on the record saying I'm certainly God, now we're hankering for a cruiser. Please drink responsibly. I'm not. I'll go on the record saying I'm certainly not. I'm not hankering for a cruiser.

No, but please drink responsibly. Please do. Even if they're $3. Yep. Number three on the list of the, what was the one I was up to? Oh, yep. I say we bring some cuteness into this. Dress the SPCA dogs up that aren't going to be adopted for whatever reason.

Aggressive. And we dress them up like a reindeer and we just set them loose on Queen Street. You get your shopping done quicker. Oh, would you what? Running from shop to shop. Get a bit of cardio too.

Number two on the list of the top six ways to bring Christmas to downtown Auckland without Smith and Coie. Paint the buses like presents. Cute. Because that's the only thing I ever see going up and down Queen Street.

Yeah. Bloody buses. Or some lost idiot who's like, I've made a terrible mistake. I've come the wrong way. Am I going to get fined for each of these blocks? Yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. I feel like I am.

And number one on the list of the top six ways to bring Christmas to downtown Auckland without Smith & Coie, you know those giant baubles that they put at the bottom of Queen Street? Yes. I say we roll them from the top. Oh, yes. Covered in outward facing sellotape so that they pick up all the ciggies and stuff on the way down too. Clean up at the same time.

And then you can go and see the baubles and you'll be like, oh, they're nice. And shit, there's a fair bit of tobacco left in that cig, actually. Nothing like a Christmas durry that a bauble picked up off the street as it lays on all things Grimace District. I will say, please smoke responsibly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a fresh... If you're going to do it, get a fresh one. What's this that's stuck to the bauble? Half a

Lychee Cruiser? Ah, yeah, still bubbly. That is... I'm sorry, Queen Street. I'm not really. I was going to say, I'm sorry we love you. I already think I pay too much rates for a place I'd ever go to. I don't want to pay any more.

That is the day, stop six. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM's. Shall we head to the social media slash snack slash cuddle slash hack desk? Because producer Shannon, you're really adding some titles to your job there. You have another hack for us. Yes, of course. A food hack? Is it better than the VIP party hack?

Well, Ross said he liked that. Wait a minute, Ross has no idea what makes a cool party. You know? Wow, red for Phil. He has no idea. Well, I think this one's quite good. Okay. So it's a food-based hack.

I'm already in. Yes. So you know when you've got a sandwich, even a toasty, you either are a diagonal or a rectangle person. Oh, what would I? I don't really even cut a sandwich. I made toasties the other day. Yeah.

If it was a toastie, I'd go diagonal. We said this. If it's a long bread like a sourdough, which is more oval, you go half in the middle. If it's a square like a toast, you go diagonal. Right. But see, when you do that, you kind of only get one perfect bite and you kind of get like

food on the side. Like if you're biting into the perfect bite in the middle, it's hard to eat You need more points. Yeah. That's why triangle is better. Wow. Let me raise you the three-way cut. Ooh. So. Okay. Let me tell you about the three-way. So you cut

it into the shape of a Y. So imagine a big capital Y. Yeah. Like this. I'm gesturing, but yeah, big capital Y. It's too late. I already cut my sandwich into a small Y, lowercase Y. It's a curly end.

I've got to cut him a sandwich. He was carving the curly end. Oh, no, no, no. Uppercase Y. Okay. Now you've got three perfect bites that are easy to like, there's no side bread getting in your jowls. Yeah, I'm sort of picking up what you're putting down.

So you've got extra side bits. So you're going, you cut in the middle but halfway and then you diagonal split up. Yes. Like a peace sign. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. But why, so like how you cut a pizza,

you start in the middle or a birthday cake, you start in the middle and you work birthday cake, you start in the middle and you work your way out into wedges. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't this sound incredible? So now you've got three perfect bites. The corners are, like, more plentiful. You are cutting it like a cake.

Because a pizza I don't. I cut up the half, through the half. You go through. If you've got a long enough knife, you can roll it. Or if you've got a pizza cutter. Or I've got a roller. But a cake, yeah, you go tip in the middle. Angle.

Angle. Straight. I mean, maybe we escalate this hack to cut it fully like a cake. You cut your sandwich into eight pieces from the middle. Like a pizza. Yes, and now you've got eight perfect bites. That's quite good, actually. Yeah.

I know what you mean, because you do need a tip. Yes. A little tip of the sandwich to go in. Oh, it's the bread's in your jowls. It is. Don't just say that I have jowls. I'm what you mean, because you do need a tip. Yes. A little tip of the sandwich to go in. Oh, I suppose the bread's in your jowls. It is. Don't just say that I have jowls. I'm working on it. I'm mewing.

I'm into this sandwich hack. I would never do it. Is it also a little bit of, you know, if you want to feel like you've eaten more, you eat on a small plate. Yeah. Is this why in your mind you're getting three halves? Yeah.

You're girl-mathing the sandwich in a way, because actually you've got three sandwiches on the plate now. How good? The only thing is, it depends on how filled the sandwich is, because it could get messy making eight bits. It gets a bit spewy. Whereas when you cut a sandwich that's really filled, you've got to go, ha!

Like quite aggressively, quite quickly, otherwise it all spews out the sides. If you're talking like a wet chicken salad. So now if we're cutting more, we're getting more spillage over the edge here. I'm just, you know,

I'm not poo-pooing your hack. Okay. It is better than the party hack. It's a lot better than the party hack. I feel like we should Someone text me

and say, go the whole hog and do a full X. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like you get clubs. You get little clubbies. Perfect.

Then it feels like you're at a funeral without being sad. So that's always You get clubs You get little clubbies Perfect Then it feels like You're at a funeral Without being sad So that's always A win in my book Oh my god That is so elevated Chuck an asparagus roll

In the mix Their hack's better Than my hack It is better But it wouldn't be there If you hadn't brought Your hack to the table first That's right

Final ranking Shannon's hacks Well I was thinking Should we rate Shannon's hacks If she's gonna bring These hacks to the show? Just get them out of five.

Like a ranking. Like a five star. Like a five. I'd give the VIP room two. One. One. One and a half.

I said two just because any party, I'm happy to be there. Yeah. I'd give this three. 3.5. 3.5. I was thinking 3.5 as well.

3.5. Thanks, guys. Yeah, this is good. That made me feel good. Shannon's hacks. Shannon's hacks. I'm working 3.5 as well. 3.5. Thanks, guys. Yeah, this is good. That made me feel good. Shannon's Hacks. Shannon's Hacks. I'm working on a jingle. Okay.

We'll wait till Jared's recovered from COVID and I'll get in the studio, get my keytar. It's got big shredding vibes. Love that. Shannon's Hacks. Five stars max. Five stars max for Shannon's Hacks. Play it.

ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Now, just when we went intoM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, just when we went into that... Don't say Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's just Fletch and Hayley. Well, because just when we went into that song, Vaughn's scanning his lotto ticket, and I said, well, don't expect to win because it's rolled over to $38 million.

There were no Powerball winners. And the app told you that... I need to go in-store. What does that mean? You could have been one of the quarters. Four people won $250 and then there's a whole bunch of lower. I'd take that. You'd take that, wouldn't you?

It's so funny though that you would still be slightly annoyed that your luck got cashed in on a quarter of a million rather than $33. Yeah, totally. You'd be like even though a quarter of a million rather than 33. Yeah, totally. You'd be like, even though quarter of a million dollars would be amazing. So,

my brand had always underlined the numbers and circled the bonus. Have you had any, you've got two tickets there. Is that the one that came up? This is the one that came up. And have you got some gaps?

I've got quite a few tens. I'm going to be pissed if this is just a free ticket. It said go in store for a free ticket. Yeah. Can you leave and go check this? Can you buy me with your, a pair of leather pants?

No. It's just going to be a bonus ticket. We've got an agreement if we win the big one. But if you want a small one, I want a coffee. Coffee's on Vaughan this morning. Coffee on Vaughan and just a pair of leather pants. Don't be a dick. Still coffee's on Vaughan if it's a free bonus ticket.

No. 100%. No. Today's Silly Little poll is about money. Do you have a secret bank account or money that your partner doesn't know about? 86% of people saying no, but it's the 14% we want to hear about because they're saying yes. That's a lot. That's just over 1 in 10 people in a relationship.

I've got a couple of friends that do, yeah. Really? What do they do? They just have a little side account. Not like me, I've got my business account and Aaron knows it exists. But they have a little side account that when they get their pay, they'll just keep a little bit for a rainy day. If you were to divorce someone and it was to get messy

and everything's divvied in half. But if they don't know about it. But can they know about it? Is there a way that you can find out if your partner has been hiding money from you? How would they know? They'd have to know it existed to say that's an asset that should be on the record. I just wondered.

Okay. Have you got a secret account? From myself? No. That'd be fun if you just forgot about every pay you put a little in there and you forgot about it. And then one day you're like, oh, sweet. And then one day you're like, what's this email I've received? Isn't that weird?

It was dated to be sent this in. It's a video of you being like, hey, man, I got drunk and said I'm a gay. Surprise. I love you. Hey, bitch, I set up an AP for the account. You're rich. Love you. Chloe says, I do.

Swarbrick? Not Swarbrick, unfortunately. Because my partner cannot save money, so without me squirrelling away some money for emergencies, we would simply be up the creek. Okay. Preeti says, absolutely not. What is mine and what's mine is also mine.

Yeah. Okay. Yes and no. My husband named My account The wife's runaway money Let's be clear I'm not running away anywhere But the money I get

From selling some of my clothes Goes in there And then I buy new clothes From our joint account Oh yeah Like a little fun money Yeah but she's Selling the clothes

And putting it into her own account And then buying clothes From a joint account Oh that's not how that works That's I mean well done Yes but only because I'm saving for his 40th in July,

a lovely weekend on Waiheke. Oh, lovely, darling. Oh, yeah, like surprise purchases, right? That's sort of interesting. Yes, yes. Let's not forget that I saw my engagement ring being purchased. Yes, on the bank account. Yes.

On the online banking. Zach says, no hidden account, but when I go fuel up, I withdraw $40 and put that aside. Better living, everyone. Oh, I guess he's got a big pile of cash somewhere. Yeah, in 220s. Okay. So is he like, yeah, I'll pay for that tank,

and can I get $40 cash? Yeah, maybe. Right. I wonder how long it will be before people stop giving out cash at tills. Yeah. They hate it already. Because the tills are smaller these days anyway because they don't deal with as much cash.

When you take their cash, they're like, ah, bugger. My feminist act in recognition of all the years women weren't allowed bank accounts. Oh, yeah, have your own. Yeah. To be fair, it's turned into our Uber Eats account, so our budget still looks good in the other accounts, but my feminism account is buying us yummy treats.

However you need to justify it. Zoe, no, but I wouldn't be surprised or offended if my husband does have one. I'm a spender, and he's a responsible saver, so he'd best keep it away from me. Yeah. Who has excess money for a secret account? Have you guys been to the supermarket lately? Sam, I feel you. Yeah.

Yeah. Another Zach. Absolutely. For surprise gifts and organizing stuff, I don't want to know about it or grill me until I cave

and ruin a surprise. Hmm. Yeah. I have a secret account and X wants to clean me out to the tune of $60,000. The police were no helpers. We've been together

for over three years. Oh, Jesus. She stole it? Oh, Jesus. They're taking a wheel. Oh, Jesus. She stole it? Jesus. She. They're taking a wheel. Oh, Jesus. She stole it? Just to clean out the account.

On the way out. Clean it out. Oh, I would get some revenge on that. I would go to the ends of the earth, even if I didn't get the money back, to give $60,000 worth of hell. I would freeze a smoked Kahawai and I would break into their car

and I would grate it through it so you could never get it out and then I'd break into their car, and I would grate it through it so you could never get it out, and then I'd poop in their ventilators, and I'd do all sorts. And that's only $100 worth of... Of kahawai. Yeah. No, I was meaning of the total value of theft. Oh, yeah, totally.

I'd keep going until I was 60,000. I'd start with the fish and the poop. So maybe don't cross us. Don't cross us. We'll grate a fish through your car. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, Vaughn's

checked his lotto ticket and it looks like he won a free bonus. Yeah, I won my bonus, why didn't you just tell me that in the app? I genuinely got really excited for you. He thought he'd won six figures and wow,

turns out no. I'd won two fingers. Yeah. Wow, so you've got to stay here and work with us. Yeah. Do you want to take back

all those nasty things you said while the Solange were playing? No, really, I'm glad they're out there and I'm glad I got to air my grievances. Glad I don't have to

work with you two anymore. Oh, Doja Cat came on and he said, you know what, Carl Peter Fletcher Glad I don't have to work with you two anymore. Oh, Doja Cat came on and he said, you know what, Carl Peter Fletcher, I've wanted to say this to you for 20 years. And the things he said, are you all right? Yeah, no, I'm okay. Yeah, but that's all right.

I've thought this since the day we met. Off he went. And then he turned, as for you, Sprout. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I went. And he told one of the producers that he loved them. And now that's awkward. The whole thing's just gone really skewer for you.

We live and we learn. Here he is. Pop up and see HR again after the show today, I reckon. Just get ahead of this. Get ahead of this problem. Coming up on the show. In my defense, I thought I'd won a lot of them. I thought I was out of here.

Coming up on the show. I'm brewing something lot of them. I thought I was out of here. Coming up on the show. I'm brewing something for you guys. I'm absolutely brewing something. I'll do a little tease. It's Hayley's Horny Book Club adjacent. Yep. And specifically around one of my favorite Quinn creators.

Tell you what, the affair may be back and brewing. Wow. Okay. There have been some DMs. There's been a bit of an exchange. We're going to discuss soon, but next on the show, the list of personalised plates in New Zealand that have been banned. Probably some of the things that Vaughan just called us. Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, the New Zealand Herald put in an official information request to NZTA, Waka Kotahi, to ask them... What words did you just say? I'm so bamboozled by that. Or New Zealand Transport... Yeah, I just said that. That's enough of your wokeness. So they asked...

We jest, we jest, we jest. That's enough of your wokeness. So they asked for information on cancelled personalised plates. Amazing. There were 46 offensive number plates in the last year, but some have been revived after the complaints process was reviewed. Now, there are some that the Herald have chosen not to publish because they are that bad. Son of a gun. But a

selection of the revoked, so these are plates that I'm assuming they let people have but then they revoked because there may have been people driving down the road and they complained about them. M-I-B-T-C-H Mabitch Mabitch Another Mabitch M-I-B-T-C-H. Mar-bitch. Mar-bitch.

Another mar-bitch, but M-I-B-I-T-C. No H. Another one, moo. M and then O-0 and then 0-0-0-0. Oh, yeah, that's because it's hard. No, because it's hard to see the difference between the zeros and the O's. Yes. You couldn't report it.

So you'd say it was M and then it was either zero or O, O or zero for my time. Can they have dashes through them? No, they don't have. Not in New Zealand. No, they're not in New Zealand. They don't. Oh, I'm just imagining that.

Well, do they? No. They don't. And overseas they do, though. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, maybe someone was offended. Maybe they thought, oh, don't call me a cow in traffic. Yeah, yeah.

Move. But someone complained about that. Well, yeah, but I'm assuming maybe it could have been complained about by it was in a council bus line and the council's like, we don't know what the hell's going on here. Yeah. The next one, I can see why this was revoked. Violate you.

Oh, gosh. The next one, pee pipe. How did they even get pee-pipe I don't know I don't know It was withdrawn P-I-P-E It might be polythene pipes They might deal in

They might be a plumber A polyurethane Yeah Yeah yeah yeah They might specialise in culverts It could have been on the Marley van Yeah That's PVC pipe

Yeah P-pipe The next one that was A revoked personalised plate, hate wife. Hate wife. Mm. Good Lord.

Imagine if your husband turned into the driveway. He's like, look at this show. H-H-W. It'd be a divorce prison. H-H-Wife. Yeah. The next one, F-J-C-K. F-J-C-K.

That was... Oh, the J. No, and the J looks like a U. Yeah, it's just, exactly. An incomplete U. An incomplete U. The next personalised plate withdrawn, Nutzak. I feel like I've seen Nutzak,

or some sort of plate that looked like Nutzak. Oh, really? Well, it's been near Nutzak's been withdrawn. I'm sorry to hear that. No, because I did say, remember we talked about how, if your name was Zach, you'd get away with it. What's that one?

Eight who rot. Not Zach. I was just like, it's Zach, and he could be like, I'm just nutty old Zach. Eight who rot. Are we missing something? Eight, eight, you. Hang on, I'm putting it into the chat. Eight you rot?

Eight looks like a B. Eight, eight, you. Oh, you're hot. No. Eight, you're hot. You. 8, you're hot? You're rot? I don't know. Anyway, another play.

That one I don't get. 8-H-U-Rot. I'm really nervous trying to figure it out, and we're going to say it out loud. And we're going to say it out loud. So other plates that have been withdrawn from personalized plates. I do love seeing a personalized plate and just not being able to work out what it is.

You just spent upward of $1,000 on a plate. You have everyone to be going, you had a very expensive private joke. Yeah. Mofo, Spliff, Jizzm. Jizzm. This is, are you New Zealand? You're so dumb.

Rail MD. Oh, the girls have figured it out. Hang on. Also, we. Oh, the girls have figured it out. Hang on. Also, we... Oh, my God! Naughty. We're boomers! We're just the boomers!

We're like, oh, we don't get that. How did we not figure that out? Now, ain't who right? Ain't who right? I feel embarrassed that we didn't get that. We were saying it out loud. If you haven't figured it out yet, just think. Okay. Some others are MMM, OOW, and OOM,

which are, again, the difference between the zero and the letter O. Right. Very indistinguishable or very hard. Someone said that they saw R-I-M J-0-B the other day. They said they saw it. How is that allowed on a car?

I've always been... So you're in the trades. I don't know what trades deal with rims. Oh, if you fix cars. If you fix curbed wheels. You'd be... I'm going to do a job for you. You're officially doing a rim. Do you know what they need in the personalized plates office?

Dirty-minded individuals. Yes. That can run these checks. Little shit. Little shit. Nah, I've worked it out. I've worked it out. So there are as well.

Yeah, there's a tire company with another plate. Rim J-O-B. Silly. So at the time of updates, there were 19 plates under investigation. but rim J-O-V-E. Silly. So at the time of updates, there were 19 plates under investigation. So these are ones that either have been considered offensive, confusing, and a nuisance.

They were Karen is one of them that's been complained about. Oh, yes. Karen would be complaining about Karen. Badass, too fugly, farmer, and a whole bunch of others. I want too fugly. Back in the day, there was someone in Hamilton with another plate gorgeous, on a really nice Subaru WRX. Like G-A-W-J-U-S. Is it real honey?

Was she a honey? Was she a honey? She got rid of the plate because everyone would pull up from the side of the car expecting someone to be like, That's horrible. That's awful. That's sad. That's awful. Change the play. That's sad. That's sad. Okay, well, there you go.

I'm still waiting because I don't want a personalised play, but I'd get Sproul if I could get seven letters. Okay. You know what I mean? S-P-R-O-U-L. Because that's not how you spell my name.

Oh, okay. Well, seven letters isn't happening. There'd be someone out there with how you spell my name. Oh, okay. Well, seven lizards and having a... There'd be someone out there with a Hayley. Yeah, there would be. Yeah. Okay, well, let's leave that smut behind. I can't believe it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Okay, so... I've talked a little bit about Quinn which is the audio erotic app where content creators content creators make little audio things for you to

get steamy to. And so it's not like an audio book, they're speaking to you. Speaking to you as if you're the second character, like you're having a conversation which is different to your audio books. We speaking to you speaking to you as if you're the second character like you're having a conversation which is different to your audio books we spoke to the creator of Quinn

yes Caroline Caroline yeah Spiegel Caroline Spiegel what's her name brother of Evan Spiegel

the guy that started Snapchat yeah so we talked to her about the app which is female focused way to bring a woman down way to bring a woman down no Way to bring a woman down.

No, I was just meaning it was... She stands on her own two feet. Yeah, she stands on her own two feet. You're making a point of reference. I was just saying it's amazing. You were celebrating the Spiegel family. I was just celebrating the family, yeah. And the tents. Now, we...

And I just wanted to say Spiegel. Spiegel. Yeah, and of course... Spiegel. Spiegel. There was... They're named after the famous boat that was named after the iceberg that sunk it. Sorry.

Steven Spiegelberg. I'm trying to do a sexy break and now we're talking about boats. What happened? What happened? What happened? And recently there's been, what's his face?

So Andrew Scott has made a Queen original series with them, three parts. Holy hell, the end of part two. Thank you Andrew It was really fun and one of my favourite content creators, and I talked about this if you saw my live show is called The Devil of Dublin

and he has been doing lots of like ask me anythings I shared that I had asked him if he lived at home with his parents and he'd come back and be like oh no I don't but you know it's really hard in Ireland at the moment when I was like, his voice is so hot. Yeah.

Anyway. You talk about him in your comedy show, don't you? Yeah. Do you want a little taste of his voice? Now, I'm poised to pull the cord. I don't know if you've got the right cord. Is this the Dublin? We never checked.

You might need to. Oh, have I got the wrong cord? I don't know if it's the right chord or the wrong chord. Hang on. There's two chords. Hang on. Yeah, that's it because I can hear it. I can hear it.

There we go. There we go. Okay. God, I wish you were here. This is the devil of Dublin. You know if you were. It's raining. It is raining.

It's Dublin. You'd be so, so Sad It's fine, it's fine I'm just gonna stop I'm just gonna pull that down now Okay, right That's the devil of Dublin's voice

And you can see why I love his content Anyway So me and the girlies were like We need to do more about Quinn We've been listening And absolutely enjoying it And it's Oh my god

I've got a new message from him As we speak Anyway, hang on I'll open it on here So we were like We should try to get new message from him as we speak. Anyway, hang on. I'll open it on here. So we were like, we should try to get to talk to him because we talked to the creator. Yeah.

And everyone's talking about Quinn at the moment because Andrew Scott's done the series. Andrew's Irish. The devil of Dublin, this creator. Who is a faceless creator? We don't know him. You've never seen what he looks like. No.

He is one of the most popular Quinn creators. How much do you reckon he's making of Quinn? Because does he get a cut every time someone listens to his audio? Yeah, is it like an OnlyFans? Is it like OnlyFans? Okay. Anyway. I had asked him a question on his Ask Me Anything,

in which he answers all these things, but you never see his face. I'd ask the question, he'd respond, and I was like, he's quite responsive. So I'd said to Carl, we should try to get the devil of Dublin on and talk to him about what it's like to be a content creator and how he does it and the behind the scenes.

So I messaged him saying, devil of Dublin, reaching out on a whim, I'm the host of the number one entertainment breakfast show. I was really trying to sell us. I would have left that part out. I wanted to seem like... Sound like a prick now. No, I wanted to seem like we're legit. I wanted to be

legit. It's not going to come on if we're the seventh best. Seventh best studio broadcast. You know what I mean? And then I tagged our thing and I said, I'm a big smart girly and a huge Quinn lover. We have a segment where I share my recommendations

and we even interviewed the Quinn creator, Caroline, which is awesome. You're my fave creator. Would love to interview you if you were keen. Let me know if you'd be up for anything like this.

And I sent him the video where I first talked about Quinn, which did really well on TikTok. And then I said, people effing love it. Then yesterday at 9.30, he said, hey. He replied. Oh, hi. He said, people effing love it. Then yesterday at 9.30 he said, hey. He replied.

Oh, hi. He said, so I'm taking a little break for about two weeks. I'm not on this account at all, so I can leave my life smut free for a week. Laugh face, laugh face. The smut train on Quinn has been six months straight. I can't go shopping without seeing smut words. But yes, of course I'd be interested. It wouldn't

be until mid-June when I get some time. Is that okay? I was like, okay, that's fine, that's fine. So I messaged him saying, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Absolutely fair enough. How many ha-has? Four. Too many. Too many.

I should have just said ha-ha. I said ha-ha-ha-ha. That's not the ha-has of New Zealand's number one entertainment radio program. I know, I went too hard. He maybe thinks that you're the easiest entertained. Oh, yeah. Because you have ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. of New Zealand's number one entertainment radio program. I know. I went too hard. He maybe thinks that you're the easiest entertained. Oh, yeah.

Because you've ha ha ha ha ha. I'm the entertainer. He's like, you're being entertained too easily. Yeah. I said,

ha ha ha ha ha. Absolutely fair enough. Amazing. I'll message you in a couple of weeks. We're on a break from June 26th. And then he said,

cool. Oh, should I keep this bit secret? Yeah, I reckon keep that bit secret. Okay, I reckon keep that bit secret. Okay, I'll keep that bit secret.

Cool. Then he revealed a secret to me. Yeah. Which I was like. Which we can talk about if we interview him. If we interview him, we can talk about it. Okay. So then he said, cool.

Insert secret here. Yeah. So we'll see what happens with that. What time zones are we talking? Yeah. And I said, amazing. Oh my God, we're fizzing. Da, da, da, da, da. And I said, amazing. Oh my God, we're fizzing.

And I said, what about this time, our time? Because we're 11 hours out of work, is it? Or 5.30 our time AM is 6.30 PM his time yesterday. So I sent some times and he just messaged like a minute ago saying, I don't mind being later in the night for the sake of your sleep.

Oh devil. Oh devil, I'm't mind being later in the night for the sake of your sleep. Oh, devil. Oh, devil. I'm not sleeping when I'm thinking of you. Wow. Okay. He said, let's chat soon and lock everything in. You're going to need to remain calm during this interview. Oh, as calm as I did with Jason Momoa?

Sure, I'm really going to keep it calm. Anyway, this is very exciting. So our hope is that we can get this like number one content creator on Quinn on our show by mid-June, let's say. Okay. These are little teas. We might get the devil of Dublin on for a little bit of a chat.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Yesterday, I did one of those. Have you ever done one of those? You wouldn't have, Vaughan, because you don't go to our gym, but they had the virtual cycle classes. I have. So it was like 10 past 11. It was pretty quiet.

I was like, this is the only... Yeah, they don't pop off. This is the only kind of... What is it, a virtual cycle class? So yeah, the screens come down and they've got these pre-recorded classes. There's no instructor. There's no instructor.

Whereas the classes with instructors are amazing. A lot of energy. It's a bit harder with the virtual classes because it's just, you know, you and whoever's in the room. Do they like pre-program some negging in from the virtual instructor? Yeah, like move it, you fat. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, they never do that. Every now and then a bit of water comes from the ceiling like they're spitting on you like move it, fatty. Go faster. Yeah, go faster. But I was the only one in the cycle class and so I'm like all ready

and it gets to like ten past eleven and I'm like clipped in I'm ready to go my bike's all set and they come on That's embarrassing

I would have excluded that piece of information from the retelling of the story. The clipped in. I'm clipped in in my cycle shoes. I'm ready to go. No you said it again. I would have said it less. Is shoes. I'm ready to go. No, you said it again.

I would have said it less. Is it not sexy? I would have unsaid it, not said it again. If I was the devil of Dublin and I had an Irish accent and I said, I've clipped in my cycle boots.

Imagine if the devil of Dublin did an audio series. Well, you've killed my stuffy. Hello, darling. Is the bike next to you free, darling? Mind if I clip in next to you, darling? So we can go for a lovely ride through the Irish court season. Oh, God!

And when we get there, we get a muffin and a latte. Clackety, clackety, clackety, clackety. Kind of went a bit Father Ted there, didn't it? A little bit Father Ted. But anyway, so the class comes on, the virtual class, and they do things. They don't neg you, but they do things like, they're like, yeah, come on. What if no one's there?

And there's a whole lot of instructors and they kind of talk to each other. Because I look around, I'm like alone. I'm like, oh, this is cool. I've got the whole class to myself. And then they come on this instructor. The instructors are like, yeah, Glenn, go. And they say. You go, Glenn Coco.

And so I was like, who's Glenn? He's one of the instructors. And they kind of, you know, say this on the. Are they all on screen at once or is it cut between them? They're all on screen. There's like six or seven of them. A couple of main ones. Six or seven of them?

Yeah. Did they record it as one? Yeah, they recorded and it gets cut together. But anyway, so I'm there by myself. So I'm like, they're like, so I start yelling out, yeah, go, Glenn. Like, just being stupid. Oh, no.

That's worse than clipping in. We're lost in enthusiasm for exercise. I hate it. But I'm being stupid. Oh no, that's worse than clipping in. And then I'm like, yeah, enthusiasm for exercise. I hate it. But I'm being stupid. I'm like, I'm here by myself. I'm the only one here. And when I find out you're doing part-time like gym instructor classes at the weekend,

you're like, I'm going to do the training. No, I'm not. And I'm like, what training? And you're like, you weren't supposed to know. But I'm like, yeah, let's hit this. And I'm like saying, I'm just repeating what they're saying, being stupid. And then I look around and a woman has walked in and she's setting up her bike.

Oh, you go, Glenn. And I've just been like being stupid because I think I'm the only one in this room. I'm really embarrassed for you. Because on the piece of paper for the show, it said Fletch caught talking to himself. Now, I couldn't have imagined it was going to be this embarrassing. I would have thought it was. I didn't know the story. I was like, Fletch caught talking to himself. Now I couldn't have imagined it was going to be this embarrassing. I would have thought it was. I didn't know the story. I was like,

you've been caught talking to yourself. I thought, because I get caught talking to myself like, if I'm walking in the street because you neg yourself. I neg myself.

I'm like, put a petrol bit in you fat idiot. No I don't. That's my inner monologue. Yeah. I'm not external but I talk to myself a bit

and then people will look and you'll be like, oh no, I don't do it in public. No, you just do it in weird rooms with virtual Glenn. Oh, God. Yeah, you're my best friend, Glenn. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Next time that old lady's going to walk into the class, and you're going to be up the front, like, smooching Glenn as he's riding his bike. There's that unwell man. Now, you get out there and ride your bike, Glenn. Well, Hayley's coming. We're going to do a virtual one, aren't we, on Friday? Yeah, I'll do a virtual, but's riding his bike. There's that unwell man. Now you get out there and ride your bike, Glenn. Well, Hayley's coming. We're going to do a virtual one, aren't we, on Friday?

Yeah, I'll do a virtual, but I'm not talking. Get out. Rip. Do you want to go do something instead? I don't want to go. I cannot work on a show with two virtual class attendants. Okay, I won't go. I won't go.

Don't go. We'll only go to real classes from now on. Do many men go to your classes at your gym? Yeah. Because the classes that they run in our gym, exclusively female. No, a lot of men. Huh. Yeah.

Next on the show. When did you complain about something but you were actually wrong? That's what we're going to dive into. Love this. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Kmart Karen, she's been called. Furious rant that she had. She slammed Kmart after buying what she thought was a bikini online.

Then she went to a swimming pool and it went see-through. And she said, okay, I'm never one to usually complain about the so-called quality of Kmart products, which I generally would say is pretty high. As someone who's had Anko plates for like eight years. Yeah. But this Kmart white bikini literally turned see-through the moment I got into the pool at my family barbecue. How mortifying. Your family see your nips, your dinner plate Anko nips. And lips.

Nips and lips. I just feel like the design is so impractical. You just said she's got Anko nips? She's got Anko nips. Now whether or not that was a reference to Anko plates or just the cheapness of the nips. No, I was meaning the someone with Anko discs.

Vaughn's got giant nips. Biscuit nips. I don't have big biscuit nips. I've got the tiniest nips. I just simply cannot comment. I've got a thin Verkirk salami nip. Not a big, not a fat salami, a thin salami.

I'm going to call mine the old 50 cent coin. That's not bad. That's fine. I mean, that's fine, right? That's a fine nip, Zara. I've got the new 5 cent nip. 5 cent That's fine. I've got the new five cent. You've got the old five cent.

The last five cents. When I'm cold, I get the old 20 cents. That's fine. Oh, no, no, no. So you've got an old 20 cents, but you've got a sausage sticking out of it. Is that what I'm imagining? Moving on. You've also got a burger and salami, but it that? No, no. Is that what I'm imagining? Moving on.

You've also got a burger and salami, but it's more of a beer stick. The beer stick. I've got an old, how much of the beer stick? A slim beer stick. Just a little bit of the beer stick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, let's move on. So she goes to this thing, I feel like the design is so impractical, how are we supposed to swim freely if everything is literally on show as soon as we get wet? Yep. Now, the issue here is

she then uploads a link to the quote bikini. Where is she complaining about this? TikTok? Or just online? I think this is actually a Facebook complaint thing. Yep. So then she puts a link to the bikini briefs.

Now what you guys might not know is that bikini briefs. Now, what you guys might not know is that bikini is a style as well as an item of clothing. Bikini is a style of undies. So you can get like full brief as you know I like. Boy short, boy leg. Bikini is like

a slim, kind of a low cut. It's not dogs. It's just bikini style undies. So she bought undies, not swimwear. Excuse the crotch, a cotton panty, and wore them in the pool, which immediately. Went see-through. It's white.

Because they're not swimwear, they're undies. Oh, wow, okay. Literally just undies. And everybody immediately saw her Anko fruit bowl. Literally saw her whole entire fruit basket. Yeah. Now, she immediately was, everyone just went on and was like, hon. Oh, yeah.

The reason these went see-through is not a Kmart fault. It's your fault because you actually just bought a pair of white cotton briefs. I love when someone blows up. Same. And complains and then realises they're wrong. And they're totally wrong. It's the best thing. Especially, I mean, I've never worked

in like, you know, like retail or anything, but it would be so satisfying if someone just absolutely lost it and then you said, um, actually. Actually, that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah. Or like, actually, you've stuffed up here. Yeah. This is what I want to ask. When did you complain about something and then you were actually

in the wrong? Because it's so embarrassing, especially like this woman. How are we supposed, this is outrageous, the quality. And you're like, oh no. You've actually just bought the wrong thing there. You've misread the label, yeah. Okay, well 0800DARLS at Amazon. Give us a call, you can text her, 9696.

To be fair, to her credit, she has come online and been like, how embarrassing, I'm so sorry. We want to get your messages in. When did you complain but you were actually in the wrong? She has come online and been like, how embarrassing. I'm so sorry. We want to get your messages in. When did you complain, but you were actually in the wrong? We're getting so great. She was a slow burner, but we're getting some rocket text. Are you reading the top one? I'm just going to read it.

I'm going to read it. Okay. I complained to Harvey Norman that my dishwasher was broken. They tried to fix it for over a year before they finally agreed to replace it. Long story short, when they tried to find my purchase receipt, I couldn't. Turned out I'd bought it from farmers. How good is that? You are hounding Harvey Norman.

Oh, my God. This is not good enough. I demand a repair. It is taking too long. And they're like, we'll try to fix it. Oh, my God. This is not good enough. I demand a repair. It is taking too long. And they're like, we'll try to fix it. Oh, we'll just replace it, but we need the receipt. You finally find it. Not even the right place.

So we want to know when you've complained, kicked up a stink, and realised that you're actually in the wrong. Oh, my God. Wowza. Some of these are so embarrassing. We'll get to those next. Keep your calls coming in. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-TEX-9696.

Chance to win cash as well. Minutes away with Human Shazam. Shazam. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Just a quick shout out to the arborists. I know, working overtime. I know, a couple of arborists out there. Trees have down all over Auckland and areas have been hammered by the wind.

Wild storm last night. I did good on you with your chainsaws. Loved it. Talking now about when you've complained, but you're actually in the wrong. Yeah, there was a woman who bought what she thought was a bikini from Kmart, but it was a bikini styled underwear. And the moment she got in the pool in front of her entire family, it did go see-through.

Now, Brett, what happened? So this wasn't me that was in the pool in front of the entire family to go see through. Now, Brett, what happened? So this wasn't me that was in the wrong. It was actually a customer from a burger joint that I used to work at. Oh, okay. So we had a burger that used to have mango in it. Oh, okay. I see. Yum.

What meat was it paired up with? Chicken, surely? No, beef. Oh, no, it has to be with chicken. Beef, beef, mango burger to be with chicken. Beef, beef, manco burger. Call me surprised. Okay. Well, we're not here to talk about meat-fruit combinations.

I want to talk about that. It's really good. It was a really good burger. Okay. So the customer came in and, like, real angry, like, saying that there's dog hair in their burger. And we're like, what? Like, obviously there's not a dog hair.

Yeah. Like, it would have made more sense if they complained that there was human hair in the food. Yeah. Which there wasn't. And so we had a look, and, like, we dissected it. Like, a couple of the other staff came and, like, had a look, and we were like, it's the mango fibers.

Mango fibers, yeah. It's the mango fibers mango fibers yeah oh my god i told the customer like i pulled it apart like i got some more mango and like showed him and like pulled it apart and showed him like oh this is what it looks like you know how mango works bro yeah yeah have you never confused with, you know, dog hair. And they were like, no, no, it's dog hair. Like, would not believe us. And, yeah. You don't have a sort of a golden retriever ratatouille situation going on, do you? Like, there's no golden retriever dress as a human cooking. No, definitely not.

Yeah, that's why mangoes suck to eat. And they get caught in your teeth. It gets all caught in your teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found the burger. It looks great. Was there experience with mango, like, just mango-flavored, like, popsicles and juices and such? So, they never had found the burger. It looks great. Was there experience with mango, like just mango-flavoured popsicles and juices and such? So they never had the fibres.

Mango raro. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe they'd just never eaten a mango before. That's why they say the customer's always right, but they're not. They're idiots. They're actually dumb. When the customer was an idiot

and they just wanted them out of the restaurant, they were like, man, go. Yeah. Some messages in. Hold on, my computer went to sleep were like, man, go. Yeah. Some messages in. Hold on, my computer went to sleep. It's back, baby. Purchase the washing machine. Oh, my God, I've had this very same thing happen.

Purchase the washing machine. Complained about it not being balanced. Shaking and moving around. Tried to upload video to email it to them after talking to them. Video wouldn't upload. Thank God. And then on a second read of the instructions, we hadn't taken out the rods that hold the...

Oh, yeah, you've got to take the rods out. They've got rods in the bottom that hold the barrel during transport so it doesn't slam around and get unbalanced. But you've got to take them out, otherwise the thing's trying to, like, move and it can't. And it will just dance all around the floor. I was so close to complaining about my dishwasher only having one hose.

Because they'd missed the hot hose. Because it heats its own water. It heats its own water. It doesn't spurt hot water in. No. It heats the water inside. That's what dishwashers do. Yeah.

So you're like, what, I'm just going to wash my dishes cold all the time? Did you say washing machine or dishwasher? Dishwasher. Ah. You clown. You are a clown. What a jerk. Because washing machines have a You are a clown. What a jerk. Because washing machines have a red one.

Yeah. A whole one. So I was like, well, surely the dishwasher does too. I ordered me a ring from a place called Asian Kitchen here in Wellington. Went to pick it up. They didn't have my order. I argued for five minutes. She made me read all the number on my phone.

Turned out I had ordered from Asian Kitchen in Hamilton. Oh, I've definitely done that before. Oh, my God, that's brilliant. Where's my order? Tell you what, this has been a few people have said, new microwave suddenly got bubbly on the keypad. I lugged the damn microwave back into the store in my car, lugged it in from my car to the store,

grumbly complained about air bubbles, lumps all over the digital functions. And then they peeled off the protective sticker. I even had my hands on my hips. Oh, no. As the store clerk looked at the microwave, then he peeled off the plastic protection cover I even had my hands on my hips. Oh, no. As the store clerk looked at the microwave, then he peeled off the plastic protection cover off the top of the keypad. Silence prevailed.

Oh, that would feel so good. Somebody else's dad went through three microwaves doing this. He'd just take them back, leave them in the box and say, hey, the things are buggered. I knew him and I just give him one because I guess he wasn't so hot. It was on the third one and he's like, these are faulty. Pulled it out and they were like, sir, and peeled the plastic off. Guys, I reckon there could be a spillover into podcasts.

I think we've got a podcast spillover. I complained that my fish was undercooked. Turns out it was sashimi. That person blew up. That's not cooked at all. Blew up at the waiters. And they were so humiliated I tipped them $50 as an apology on the way out. We've got to do a spillover.

There's so many good ones. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Wild weather. Wild weather. Winds, rains, hails. Yeah. Did you get some hails yesterday? I got caught in some hails.

Oh, ouch. You okay? It was little hails. I feel violated by it. Just the singular hail then. Yeah, right. The hail happened yesterday. But although we have now been without power for 12, 16 hours.

Because you live out in the country. At my house, the loss of power started on a high note. I got to tick off something that I've always wanted to see. I got to see it. Exciting. Become ZM's next human shazam jordan welcome to human shazam good morning what's up hello hello hello all right now we've got a tiny snippet of a song i don't even think this is one second long if you can guess this song... And the artist. And the artist,

you win $200 cash. That sounds fantastic. Yeah, if you don't get it, we'll give you a bit more of the song, but you'll only get $100. If you need a bit more, I don't think you're going to need it because this, I'm going to say,

I think it's an easy song. Well, you played it for me and I got it straight away. But let's see. Jordan, are you ready? I am indeed. $200. Here we go. Yep, that's

Crazy in Love, Beyonce and Jay-Z. Even did the feature. Even did the feature. That was .49 seconds. Man, it only took him about a second and I didn't know what it was. He's like, yeah. You are an absolute human shazam, Jordan.

$200. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. The old weather was pretty wild. And I can't speak for everywhere, but certainly the upper north. Booming thunder, like rumbling.

Yeah, I kept looking at the power outages. I love that, Matt. God, you need to get a life, eh? You know what I mean? Like, go play with yourself. Without power. So I was out in the paddock getting the cows back in so they could be in their shed when it really started raining and stuff.

And the lightning would go flash. And then I'd be like, because I don't know, this is how I am. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Four. I was like, wow, four miles. Isn't that the rule?

I don't know if that works. The fun of the sale is four miles. Oh, I've never. I thought it was kilometres. Is it miles? I wow, four miles. Isn't that the rule? I don't know if that works. The funder's salary is four miles. Oh, I've never... I thought it was kilometres. Is it miles? I think it's miles. Is it? So times it by 1.6.

Or just count 1.6 times slower. 1.6 Mississippi. 2.6 Mississippi. That works. Does it? Well, that would be 1.6 Mississippi, 3.2 Mississippi. Oh, no. 3.2 Mississippi. Oh, no. 4.8 Mississippi.

Divided by. Divided by. That's how many k's away it is. And then the next time it went, it was only two away. So I was like, wow, it's close. So I was done and I went and sat on the deck, covered. And so I wasn't getting rained on. And I was just like watching it.

I was like, and the lightning would be like, boom. And I was like, yeah. Cranking it. Bang. And you were like, whoa. And then the wind would change. And it was like chaos. Yeah.

I saw some lightning yesterday. And I did that. I was like, whoa. Yeah. I was walking along. I did that. I went, whoa. Did you say, a little sidestep.

And I know it's not really on demo. But Metallica played a concert overseas, and they were playing the song Ride the Lightning while that, like, spooky lightning was, like, cracking. Oh, fork lightning. Yeah, the fork lightning, and everyone's just like, whoa! Fork lightning is the king of lightning. Sheet lightning, eh, it's okay.

But that's what we get mostly. The stuff that hits, like, the Sky Tower or, like... Yeah, it's like zazazazaz. Well, all lightning's fork lightning, right, but it happens above the... What? Maureen Pugh, hasn't she been hit by lightning? I feel like three times. You know the West Coast MP?

She's been hit by lightning. It explains a lot. Maureen Pugh. Oh, really? That's the one Simon Bridges called a... A useless effing... Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And this week interrupted a... Lightning. ...Karakeya at Parliament. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, she reveals she's been struck by lightning three times. Well, someone wants her dead. Once so powerfully it cooked her flesh. Oh, dear.

That's terrible. Three times. Three times. She's a member of Parliament. Lightning doesn't strike twice is the saying, Maureen. She's like, yeah, I know, it strikes three times. She was turning off her stereo. She was probably listening to Fletchford and Hayley laughing out louder.

When lightning once again surged through her. Yeah. I love a bit of lightning. So I'm sitting outside watching the thunder and the lightning and the wind. All of a sudden the wind changed and it was ferocious wind. Ferocious? Ferocious. Ferocious. Ferocious wind. Ferocious? Ferocious. Ferocious.

Ferocious wind. Ferocious. What did I say? I don't know. You said ferocious. It's ferocious. Ferocious. Yes, yes.

Ferocious. That just sounded weird. Well, I've said it too many times now and it's lost all meaning. Okay. Ferocious. And I'm just, where I'm looking, all of a sudden, I just see a power line transformer. You know the ones that live on the power lines?

Not the Miss Prime, but the little boxes that live on the power lines. It went boom and blew sparks out in all directions. I saw it in person. And then it shot like something, I don't know, the next power line. Boosh! And it blew sparks too. And then I was waiting for the next one. Didn't get to the next one.

Oh, it stopped. But I did this cool boosh. So this was on your bucket list. To see a transformer explode. Okay. Shit, you might have heard the noise it made too. You're excited about seeing this, but you also have had no power. You've lost your power.

And then I immediately turned and I see my children at the window like, what's going on? We're in the middle of Roblox. I'm like, well, power's out because that thing just exploded. Now, Shannon said, to be fair, that lightning went shaboosie. Shaboosie. Good from you. Good from you.

So, yeah, we were without power. So why are you wearing one AirPod like a teenager in the back of a car? Hey, did you lose your other one? Because I took a photo yesterday. I was going to upload it to the company. This is what's happening. No, the other one's in my bespoke crochet AirPod case. No, I'm editing with one ear and listening to you guys with my real ear.

She's a multitasker. Someone ran over an AirPod in the company garage. Oh, aye, aye, aye. Can I send that to you and you put it on and this is what's happening? No, you do it. I don't want to put it on this is what's happening. Because every time I get a this is what's happening

in the NZ Me Central, I'm like, don't email that. Someone will figure it out. The cats one's good, though. I do like that page. No, I'm listening to you in one ear. I'm not Garfield colouring today. You're doing your job.

Thank you. You're doing your job. I don't think we could be more entertaining. We're giving it everything here. You're shaboosy. I love it.

Great show. So thank you. Thanks for the hot review. Shut up. These boys hate compliments. So was that when your power died? That was when the

power went out and then someone who lives up the road was just like holy moly you've got to go for a drive down your road. A tree's come down and taken out power lines and then the power went out. And then someone who lives up the road was just like, holy moly, you've got to go for a drive down your road. A tree's come down and taken out power lines. And then the fire brigade came.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I was concerned because our dear friends, Jake and Casey, live just around literally 100 metres up the road from you, but they're in a tiny home. They literally have to strap, because we had strapped down everything on our deck, all our furniture and stuff.

They have to strap down their entire life. In case they get the Wizard of Oz'd. Yeah. In case they roll down the river or something. And they were showing outside their window. It looked mad. It was chaotic. Wow.

But then I went out and had a look and the tree had come down and smashed the power lines. Well, you were really close to the power line. You've got to be careful. Oh, no, the fire dudes had turned it off. Oh, okay, right. I think they've got the power. Is that what they're called, the fire dudes?

Fletch, back in town, in Trashville, does your building sway at all? No, it's like... It's a massive concrete building from the 1930s. No, but you know you think about apartment buildings. You're all kind of tall. Sometimes they do. Like some of those buildings, yeah, they build so tall that they sway. The Skytower sways. No thanks.

They creak if you get up the Sky Tower. Yuck. Okay, well, be safe out there. Well, hopefully everyone was safe. Yeah. The generator. I tell you what, I've got a couple of generators going. Well, did Jack all?

Fantastic invention. Your phone didn't work this morning. Oh, yeah. You slept in. That was a power bank situation. Oh, okay. I went to bed early because there's nothing to do because the power's out. And then I woke up and I was like, man, this sleep just feels like it's too good and too long.

And I looked at my watch and it was after five. I was like, that'll be why. Oh, well, you made it. 17 past eight. Next, I've got some feedback for people that do gift cards. Who buy them? Who issue. Issue.

Issue the gift cards. Okay. I think this is going to be great, valuable feedback. Next. Okay, good. Play ZM's Fletch for the daily. Play ZM. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

It's 19 past eight. You've got to be careful on that slide. That was... Fletch. I've got a mortgage to pay and you can't forget that. You've got to be more careful of that slider. If that had been on here... No, it's okay.

There was some discussion behind the scenes. Retelling of quite a funny story. Quite a funny story. I have some feedback. For people that issue gift cards... I've issued gift cards before when I worked in retail. And so if you issued a gift card, say I came in and I'm like, I want a $100 gift card.

I'd be like, hey, big spender. What's the origins of this? Have you received a gift card or have you purchased a gift card for somebody? I found a gift card. I was cleaning out my junk drawer and I found a gift card. Nice. And I was like, cool, gift card. That's free money.

Expired? Not expired. I've got three months. Okay. And so I'm like, okay, cool. But then on the gift card, written and terrible handwriting is the value and stuff. And I'm like. That's khaki writing.

It's like, have you ever, and then I remembered I have in the past got gift cards for presents and the person writing it out, I'm like, your handwriting is so bad. Just let me do it next time. Yes. Like, have you, and this is what I wanted. Issue it to me and I'll do the handwriting. This is what I wanted to say, like, as a PSA. Like, you've got to get the good person

with the good handwriting. Yeah, because that's the gift. Or get a label maker or something. Or get a printable one. A template on the computer. Yeah. It is embarrassing. Do you know who's really bad at it? And I say this the computer. Yeah. It is embarrassing. Do you know who's really bad at it?

And I say this with love. No. Oh, what? No. No, your handwriting. Vaughn's signature is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen. Yeah, I know. It's because I had to invent it on the spot in 1993,

and I've never changed it since. I was somewhere in there like, you need a signature. I was like, I don't understand what that is. Yeah, but it looks. I'm a small town boy. You're a small town boy. And I went to Intermediate, and they were like, you need to sign something signature. I was like, I don't understand what that is. I'm a small town boy. Small town boy. And I went to Intermediate and they were like, you need to sign something. And I was like, I don't know.

And I wrote my name and they were like, no, a signature. And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Yes, you just wrote born. And my friend Callie was like, you do your first initial and then your middle initial and then your last name. Yeah. And I was like, okay. And I wrote it. She's like, no, you've got to link it all together.

I was like, for God's sake. So bad. And it's horrible. It's horrible. And it's horrible. And it's horrible. And I hate it. Know that I hate it. It looks like some kind of satanic symbol.

Yes. I've got beautiful handwriting. Like, I'm the one, I'm the friend who gets asked to write the people's names for their wedding table. You've got nothing on Rachel Langford. No, but that's great. Remember Rachel Langford? That's tidy. Yeah, great handwriting.

Mine's like prissy, cursive, curly-whirly. She looked like a printer. She was the human printer. Yeah. She didn't look like a printer. And I'll never forget her name because every time I see a nice hand-wring, I'm like, it's nice, but it's nothing on Rachel Langford. No, do you know, I was going to say, who's bad?

Florists. Really? Often florists. If you say like, hey. Oh, write a note. Write a note. When they write the handwriting, you know, and you order online, it's like a free gift card. It's because their hands are covered in pollen. And thorns. And they're like, like, hey. Oh, write a note. Write a note. When they write the handwriting, you know, and you order online, it's like a free gift card.

It's because their hands are covered in pollen. And thorns. And they're like, oh, yeah. And once they're green stuff. They can't hold it right now. Oh, I can't grip it tight. And that green stuff that they put the stem into. Oasis.

Oasis. Oh, yeah. No one's using that anymore. And it goes, squeak. When you stick something into Oasis. Squeak. No one uses that anymore. Imagine biting it.

Imagine biting Oasis. I'd rather die. Like polystyrene. Bite one uses that anymore. Imagine biting it. Imagine biting oasis. I'd rather die. Like polystyrene. Bites of polystyrene. No, they don't use them anymore because you just tie them up. But yeah, I've definitely ordered flowers

for friends and they'll message and be like, oh my God, these flowers are right. Thank you so much. And they'll send me a photo of the card

and I'm like, oh. How did you even know that was from me? Yeah. I know I just think it just kind of like almost ruins the whole gift. How embarrassing if you had terrible handwriting?

Erin's is pretty bad. Oh, mine's shocking. And I used to have lovely handwriting. How has it gotten so worse because you just don't write? I don't know. Just the way that you just said, how's it got so worse? And you have got bad at speaking,

I've got bad at writing. It's just degenerative. Someone said I'll stop them once I see them write the dollar amount. So you see the dollar sign, and once they see it, they'll be like, nope, hey, can I write it? For the gift card. Florists sometimes print it out on a sticker, like a dress sticker, and then stick it in.

And it's always like Times New Roman or something. I'd rather do that though than terrible handwriting. Someone said I'm a florist and I overthink my handwriting so much I'll just get another member of staff to write it. Yeah. For that very reason. And we thank you. Yeah.

It's okay that you've got bad handwriting but don't make that my problem. Yeah. I'm so sorry that you've got this horrible gift card. Yeah. And you're going to have to. You're charging me $85 for flowers I see growing on the side of the road. At least... That is not true.

And she would like to clarify they do use Oasis to keep flowers for longer. Mainly weddings for like arrangements. That stuff is so gross. Yeah. Anyway.

Fact of the day is next. It's bear week. Bear with us. Don't join him. While we take a momentary pause. Oh, guys. Yes. I guess you could say it's a hibernation of sorts.

Oh, my God. I hate this. Goodbye. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day for Bear Week is interesting. I think a lot of people don't know this because I remember when I found out, I was like, I can't be hearing this right.

I can't be hearing this right. But there was a news story and I thought, this sounds like a good chance to work this in. Today's fact of the day for Bear Week is people eat bears. Seriously? People eat bears. Story just this week.

US authorities urge proper cooking of wild game after six relatives fall ill from parasite in bear meat. What? The Federal Centre for Disease Control and Prevention has reaffirmed the importance of properly cooking wild game

after six people came sick from a parasite traced to undercooked bear meat that was served at a family reunion in South Dakota. Now, South Dakota family reunion. All right, we've got bear. Yeah.

Well, before we yuck this yum, is it like an indigenous thing or like a... The origins of it are people, yeah, native to the area. Native beers have ever been. Because beers eat... I suppose we eat whatever's around. Lots of berries. There's beers that primarily... Yes, of course.

As long as it's at the right temperature. Honey, berries. They've got a very sweet diet. And apparently those beers can have very sweet meat. Just a wild, gamey, sweet meat because you are what you eat. It'll be a dark meat, eh? Yeah, very red, very gamey.

And bear hunting for food has been a thing for ages. And when people were native to the area of the South Dakotas, for example, we'll stick to that sort of area, it was a food source, a very high in protein food source.

And when people were settling in those areas, there wasn't just a 7-Eleven on the corner with a Slurpee machine. Yeah. Yeah, do eat what you did. And of course... Pretty similar to beef, they say, flavour-wise. Yeah.

You would hunger, you'd get the pelts for the warmth. And then of course the meat. Yeah, wouldn't go to waste. The history of the meat in the Middle Ages eating of bear meat was considered more symbolic than culinary. The paws and the thigh of the bear

was considered the nicest parts. Paws. In Russia you could get canned bear meat. What? Like Spam. Yeah, basically. Polar bear was a primary food source for Inuit. You imagine how hard it would be to take down a polar bear. Yeah.

But it's usually baked or boiled in a soup or stew, never eaten raw. Polar bear liver is an edible as it contains such large amounts of vitamin A that it would kill you if you ate it. I sort of get that, though. That's what I mean, like, you know, the Inuits hunting polar bears and stuff and they survive and they use the fur and stuff to keep warm and eat it. Yeah. But I was like, are we still doing that?

Yeah, we're still doing it. We're still eating bear. Bear meat is described as a greasy, coarse texture with sweet flavor. Someone's rung in. They've had bear? They've eaten bear. Let's get it on the spot. Let's get our bear reporter.

Yeah. And culinary expert whose name is? I think we're just going through some. Okay, get our bear reporter. Yeah. And culinary expert, whose name is... I think we're just going through some... Okay, I'll keep going. I'll keep going. Bear meat should be thoroughly cooked as it can carry parasitic infections known as trichinella, which is lethal to humans,

potentially lethal to humans. Oh. And it is the bit that most reports of this parasite are directly related to people not eating bear meat that hasn't been cooked enough. Right. Jacqueline, good morning. Good morning.

How have you eaten bear? We've got a Canadian on our hands. We do. We do. I have been sending, I actually sent you guys some Facebook pictures a few days ago once I found out it was bear week of my children and I back in Canada for size comparisons on grizzlies, black bears, skulls, pelts, everything like that.

We've actually eaten bear back home. We have a wild game banquet every year where I grew up. Oh, okay. We eat elk, bear, moose, caribou, lynx, everything. If you can shoot it, we can eat it. Everybody kind of cooks it in a different way. So I've had bear ham before, We can eat it. Everybody kind of cooks it in a different way. So I've had bear ham before.

And I'm not too sure what it is. Like you go to the supermarket and you get a skewered ham. No, you can't buy it in the supermarket. We have it at the Wild Game Banquet. So basically it's like $65 for a dinner and a dance. And everybody that hunts donates food cooked in various different ways. They'll make sausages, jerky, we've had links like macaroni and cheese and salmon

and so every single year the people that hunt, they will actually cook it. One man's like, I'll make a ham. One person will make a minced stew out of there. You don't want to turn up to two hams, you know. It's good to, you've got to have up to two hams, you know? Yeah. That's good to hear. You've got to have a spreadsheet.

So what does it taste like? It kind of just tastes like beef a little bit, but it's a little bit more of like a sweeter taste if the bear's diet was mainly berries. So I think it depends on what their main diet is. So if their main diet is going to be eating salmon or something, then it will probably taste a little bit more like less fruity i suppose yeah um the bear that i've had it had a berry diet so it was very very sweet and when my uh kiwi

partner came to canada a few years ago my friend actually made him mint like bear bear stew and he said he said it was just like having mint stew was just he said it was just like having mint stew. He said it was just a sweeter flavor. How? Oh, my God. Thank you, Jacqueline. That is so interesting. It's so good. Okay. Someone said being a Canadian,

you probably would have mixed beer with chips and gravy and had a Winnie the Pooh team. Oh! That's really good. Well, Winnie the Pooh, funnily enough, another fact of the day for you, Winnie the Pooh was actually a Canadian bear from World War I named after Winnipeg.

He was adopted by a colonel. I think it was a colonel. Wow. He was a bear, and that's where the story of Winnie the Pooh actually came from. I'm going to need to get a new fat for tomorrow then, aren't I? Oh, look at you, you Jack-land. That was tomorrow's fat, Jack-land.

You've given it more work, Jack-land. That's okay. That's okay. She pre-factualated. I quite like it. Jack-land. I've got some photos to take a peek for size comparisons and stuff. Where did you send those?

Shannon's going to send them through to us. Shannon's got them at the social media desk. The size comparison, we're not actually allowed to shoot a grizzly unless it's causing harm or it's attacking the cattle or something. It's coming right at us. Yeah. And then you shoot it and you put a gun in its hand.

That's the American in the air fray though. Funnily enough, we actually have bear spray that you're supposed to spray within like two feet of the bear's face. It's almost like pepper spray for bears. So we have that and then we actually buy bear bells at the dollar store. How good is it living in New Zealand day? We were like, oh my God, mosquitoes. It's actually kind of funny. The ants

are way smaller too. It's very different. What do you mean? We've got so tiny little... We've got embarrassing ants. Do we? They don't bite. They're little. Yeah, I'll send a video of some ants and they trail that they make their red-headed ants. We're so tiny

and cute, aren't we, down here? We're so dear. We're so dear. I've listened to heaps of podcasts about people surviving bear attacks. And the best one was the guy who sprayed the bear. The bear was charging at him and he started spraying the bear spray and retreating and the bear stopped

and went, and like blew its nose and then just kept ranting. I was like, that's like tasing a dude. And he's like, what are you doing to me? Get out of here. Yeah. He's tasing her. They're big units.

So today's fact of the day. That was so good. Thanks, Jake. I was attacked by a bear. So one of my kids, my sister's classmate in high school, I think he was a couple of years younger. He was out on the, I don't know, on his yard, I guess, on his property, and he was attacked by a grizzly.

So he curled up into a fetal position, and he just hoped for the best. He was fine. He survived. He spent a long time in intensive care, obviously, but it was very, very scary for the community. And we've kind of been more alert. But in the community that I'm from, they actually opened up bear season last year a little bit early for youth. So my daughter was able to actually sit beside a bear that was

freshly shot by a 12-year-old. So she was like, I sent those pictures through as well. We live different lives. It was so different. Jack Crollin, thank you so much. There's a different world up there in Canada, isn't there? I don't even have time to get to my top

five bear recipes now. But if you want to, you can Google how to cook beer and what to cook. I mean, to me, the Beer Essentials Meatloaf by Neil Summers. Oh, wow. It sounds delicious. Oh, my gosh. It sounds delicious. Okay.

So today's fact of the day is that people around the world, including our very own Jacqueline, eat beers. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Plays, ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Siddic Apple's in studio, man. They're making us a bit burpy. Got a couple of burpy barbers in the studio. We do.

Now, TikTokers are all kind of jumping on a bit of a trend at the moment, which is sharing the most cringeworthy thing that you have done to impress a crush. Okay. Some of them... What about when you pretended to be into Jesus and went to all of those youth groups when you had, like, religious girlfriends? Mm-hmm. How embarrassing.

That's quite embarrassing. Like, looking back, that's quite cringe, isn't it? No way. Are you kidding me? You're saying you've never, like, done something like that in the hope of getting a smooch. Come on. I'm trying to think of the cringeworthiest thing I've done,

but I'm so effortlessly cool. Iingeworthiest Thing I've done But I'm so effortlessly cool I've known of people That have been like Liked a guy And the guy's like Yeah I love mountain biking And they're like

Me And they always Wreck themselves Yeah and then they go Mountain biking They're like Obviously have never Done it before in their life

One of them is so embarrassing The girl says When he said He gets really impressed by girls that can sing so I posted this. And she posted an old video of her being like

and she's like and then she's just heard being like I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself. When he said he liked Stanley Kubrick movies

so I turned up to the party like this and she's in like a white with a white bowler and like a cane and stuff. Yeah. With the eye makeup on. When the boy I like said he likes exotic girls,

so I spend an hour learning lyrics to African songs. What? That's hard. You're learning a different language there. Yeah, I feel like it's a little bit of appropriation as well. When my crush told me he was into girls who like anime, so I posted this, and it's a picture of her, and this is a black girl with, like, curly, tight curly hair,

and she's straightened it, and then it's all down like this, and the caption just says, anime girls be like. Oh! That's embarrassing. Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing. I want to know, what is the cringiest thing you've done to impress a crush? Because we've all done it.

We've all tried to get someone's attention before. Maybe it was a post. Maybe it was something you did, like you learned something, you took up a new hobby. Maybe you did. Yeah, maybe you posted something embarrassing. When he says he likes sporty girls,

so I upload this to my Instagram, and it's her on that machine where you rest your elbows and you do leg, Yeah. leg raises for things, but she's really bad at it and only gets one out.

Aww. Okay, 0800-DARLES-AT-M. We want to take your stories now. You can text her as well, 9696. What is the thing, the most cringiest thing you did to impress a crush? Give us a call.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We want to the most cringiest thing you did to impress a crush? Give us a call. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We want to know the cringiest thing you ever did to impress a crush. And honestly, I want to die. These are so embarrassing. Monica, what did you do to impress a guy? So I had a crush on someone at school and jumped up on the table and did a backflip and broke my foot. Did you know how to do backflips?

Yeah, yeah. I had done cheerleading when I was little, but it had been some time. Okay, did it work, though, even though you broke your leg? Oh, yeah, it went great. I was in a class and on crutches, so a little bit of looking after had to happen. Oh, okay. So he came in and,

yeah, so it worked. Good from you. Yeah. We did. Brilliant. Love it, Monica. Thank you. Some more messages in.

I pretended I was a sponsored bike rider, made up a fake racing team name that I use as my Bebo username, so at least this is a while ago.

Then down the side of my Bebo page, I had the fake sponsors with a, with thanks to. Oh. How cringe looking back on it. Oh, that's so bad. A guy I had a crush on was into running. Wait, did it work, the fake sponsorship? I don't know. They didn't say.

Oh, follow up text, please. They didn't say. The guy I had a crush on was into running. I told him I could do 10 and under 30 minutes. 10 kilometres? That means you're sprinting. That means you're Mo Farah. Yes.

You're a Nigerian runner. Yeah, you're not mucking around. What is the record for a run with him for 10 kilometres? I claimed I could do it. I ended up ghosting him, so he never knew I lied. Oh. Okay, the current world record for the 10K run is 26.24 for men and 29.43 for women.

Okay. So if he Googled that, he would have found out that he was going on a date with a super athlete. Oh. My crush loved sailing, so I did my whole keel master course, and he told me he wouldn't waste his money on that course, and I was just like, bleh, dead. Wouldn't waste my money on that course and I was just like, bleh, dead. Wouldn't waste my money on that.

I pretended to like stars and planets and bullshit like that. Not worth it. She hooked up with my best friend instead. Imagine being like, man, I'm having a bit of a Virgo day today. Yeah, but your best friend was a Sagittarius and you were a dud Taurus, so. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

We want to know the cringiest thing you have done to impress a crush. Because this is a TikTok trend at the moment. And I'll say it, it's usually women embarrassing themselves on TikTok. Okay. In general, just doing the cringiest things to be like, boy, notice me. Begged my mum to buy me a Radiohead concert ticket for Christmas so I could go with a guy I liked. What a waste of a Christmas present that was.

Oh, God. Got the guy at the time, but F me, I won't be getting that hours or that money back of a boring Radiohead concert. Because they don't even play the big ones. No, they don't play the hits. They don't play the hits. I hate don't play the hits. I know. I hate when bands do that. I know.

You're not better than yourself. Yeah. Oh, my God. I did a handstand while we were having a meeting about her renting my house to try to impress her. Oh, God. That's so embarrassing. I did a handstand. Nothing would put me off more.

I'd be like, oh, my God. My dude. When I was young, a guy moved into our flat. After a few weeks, we started hanging out. I noticed a surfboard in his room. He told me he surfed. I basically live at the beach. I thought he was cool.

Don't think I've ever seen him on a surfboard. We've been married 17 years and have six kids. He hates the ocean, as it turns out. He only used the surfboard to pick up chicks. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Oh, my God. Amazing. I mean, I'd love to be married.

Yeah. Six kids. We can't surf anymore. The bloody back of the van's filled up with groms. Look, we're starting young. Little groms. Little groms on your hands. Yeah.

My 10-year-old son ate a chilli to impress my daughter's friend. Ended up spewing in the sink and pouring a whole Bowl of milk over his face 10 years old Well they're not going to forget you are they You're not going to forget that happening I tried to impress a girl who was a really good skier I thought I'd impress her by showing how fast I could go

Oh yeah Guys just turn into like 7 year olds I could go fast So I let the others get ahead of me and then I just went Straight line pinned it down the hill no turns I was go so fast. So I let the others get ahead of me, and then I just went straight line, pinned it down the hill, no turns. I was going so fast that I was scared to try and turn by the end of things.

I hit a bump and launched me into the air. Apparently, I went eight feet up, and my brain went, uh-oh, and I blacked out midair, and I remember waking up there, splattered down a heap on the ground with bent ski poles, broken glasses, and cuts all over my face. But did you get some action?

Sympathy action. Follow up text. Sympathy action. You know the person we talked to before about the Bebo thing? Yep. It did work. He was heavily into the bike scene. Oh yeah. So I'm sure he cottoned on as the only sponsored female writers back then were Courtney Duncan and Mary Perkins. Of course they were. Yeah, I remember Courtney

Duncan. Oh my god, of course. Huge in the... Dunk all day. That Duncan. Oh, my God, of course. Yeah. Huge in the... Dunk all day. That was her slogan, eh? Dunk all day. Dunk all day, yeah. Dunk all day. And what was Mary Perkins?

Perks of the gig. Yeah, yeah. That was old Mary Perkins. Perks up, perks out. Perks of the gig. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it was her doing a... Living for the perks.

A tail whip. Yeah. A tail whip. Okay, yep. Good stuff, good stuff. She said she liked boys who did ballet So I went to two classes And it felt so awkward

And she laughed at me Oh Oh she laughed at you My king My king Oh just so many I did a backflip off a table Broke my foot

I started learning Italian to impress him Turns out it was Spanish-Lahian Bonjour What? Hey Hola Me scusi to impress him. Turns out it was Spanish-Lahian. Bonjour. What? Hey. Hola. Me scusi. Hola?

Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, Bob. I'm just reading what's written here. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.