ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 31st August 2023

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Happy Friday Eve. I thought you were going to say Friday and I was like, no, no. It feels like it because I'm off.

I'm off on the road again. You're about to embark on the seven days live tour of New Zealand. That is correct. To be in and out of the studio? Yeah, in and out of the studio. You won't miss me though because I will be beaming live from cities across New Zealand. From hotels and motels across the country.

Motels! Oh, is the budget pretty? The budget's a bit higher than that. The budget's a bit higher than that. There was some real acid in that spit against motels. Wasn't there? I personally am a huge fan of moteliers. You are.

I've done my time. You love a floral duvet. I do. With ciggy stains on it. I do. I love making my children sleep on a fold-out couch. Yeah. I love a full kitchen when I'm on holiday, you know?

Oh, yeah, kitchenette. Yeah, that's good full kitchen when I'm on holiday, you know? Oh, yeah, kitchenette. Yeah, that's good stuff. Who else is on the Seven Days Tour? Is it the same line-up the whole time? Yep, it is. Oh, I think there's one day

where Di swaps out for Paul Douglas. But it's Di Hemwood, Paul Ego, Jeremy Corbett's there, obviously, Ben Hurley, Josh Thompson,

Justine Smith, myself. Is that everyone? Yeah, surely. Oh, old- Ben Hurley, Josh Thompson, Justin Smith, myself. Is that everyone? Yeah, surely. Old school Seven Days, loaded up with men. Well, having two women on the tour is a real moment in history. Is there usually only one woman on tour? There has been for years.

Wow, okay. Only the last few years has been two. Oh, we'll check it out. It could be coming to your town, city around the country. Indeed. Big show today. Not only will we play you after the news at 8 o'clock, the Taylor Swift song, we have a big announcement.

A concert announcement. I thought you were going to say the return of Hayley's version. Is that not the announcement? There's that, too. What are we not excited about? It'll put a lot of effort into it. There's that, too. Oh, the God, that's a It'll put a lot of effort into it. There's that too. But you have been shunted a little bit for this big announcement.

I have been shunted, actually. When this announcement happens, I believe we will have tickets as well. Tickets, yeah. And people have been hanging out for this announcement. Just to clarify, it is not a Taylor Swift New Zealand show. No, absolutely not. Just to clarify. That's not happening. But yeah, make sure you listen at 8, not only for

that Taylor Swift song, but that big announcement. Huge. Next on the show. A ski instructor is in trouble. Oh. And it's not for... Using his mate's annual pass?

It's not. Season pass? It's hard to tell. It's hard to see the face because you're all kind of covered up with goggles and stuff and maybe you could be sharing a season pass. It's not that. Well, no, it's not that. But, I mean, that's a great idea too. Put that in the back pocket for later. I have often wondered this.

At gyms, you would need to kind of go, I think because I go to Anytime Fitness and you've got one key tag, you can go to any Anytime Fitness, right? Yeah. You've got like a base Anytime Fitness. Yes. And if you go to one Anytime Fitness,

way more than the base, they email you and say, you are now switched. Your home base has changed. Right. So you could do this. And I've always wondered what would stop people doing this on the sly. Personal training people, but not paying to use the gym because they believe if you're

personal training at a gym, right, you've got to pay the gym a little something to use their equipment. Yeah. A little slice of the pie. Yeah. But on a gym where you can access any of them Especially like around Auckland There's so many of these gyms Yes

You could just say I'll meet you at the Central Auckland one Or I'll meet you at a West Auckland one And then you just act like you're friends with them And you just like work out with them But you're secretly But you're secretly personally training them Yeah

Without anybody else clipping the ticket Now I've often thought that Now apply it to ski fields training them. Yeah. Without anybody else clipping the ticket. Now, I've often thought that now apply it to ski fields because that's what South Island ski fields are saying is happening. Why?

People are pre-organising teaching people how to ski Yeah. and meeting them up on the mountain and doing it for less than their official instructors. Exactly.

The ski field instructors charge for a lesson and one-on-one or smaller groups. Now, someone who got caught at Triple Cone is saying, I'm actually just literally teaching my friends. They are saying that no. They're not your friends. You're not.

You're working. So this is. Wait, could you teach your friends actually? Well, I... Of course you can. My kids did like an hour intro and the pizza and the fries and the pizza and the fries

and then they were like, can we come with you? And then we went up to the next... That's not skiing. You mean at the cafeteria? No, the... Yeah, I get the pizza and the fries. I get the wedges.

Oh, what's the wedge? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's the snowboard one where you go sideways. Oh, yeah, there you go. And then they just came and I was like, oh, you just do this and wait this way and that way.

And I guess in a way I was teaching them, but you're their dad. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I'm going to get a ticket. But they gave you 50 bucks each, right, for the hour. Absolutely goddamn right they did. Yeah. I was offering them invaluable advice. So this might be why.

Yep. One hour, what do you think it costs for a one and a half hour ski lesson at Tribble Cone? A couple of hundred probably. Yeah, $240. Yeah, $240. It's just everything about skiing is expensive. Yeah, $800 for a full day.

And a full day of group lessons, so that's like where it's not one-on-one is $150. Yeah, but lame. No one's even watching my technique. Yeah. In a group, you're like mother duck. They follow you down and the ski instructor goes backwards. Yeah.

And I mean, I don't know how much is getting passed on to the ski instructor. I don't know. It's certainly not cheap to run a ski field. I'm not trying to poo-poo anything. Yeah. But I'm just saying that's what some people are doing as an alternative is organising it at the base, you know, down in town and being like, I'll meet you up there.

You sort out your passes and then we'll meet. I'll do 150 an hour kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I won't give the mountain a cut. Cashy cash. Cash is king. Well, it's a mountain ski field. They can do what they want, can't they?

I suppose so. So I've always wondered, someone told me once what the deal is because you can't obviously own the mountain. Yeah, because it's- You can own the, it's the chairlifts they own, which give you access to the parts of the mountain. Right.

If you just wanted to straight up walk up, you could. I think you don't need a pass. Nobody's doing that though. But it's a lot of hiking. Yeah. Yeah, and cold. Like you might get two runs in a day. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fair. And you're burning quads. Yeah. Quads and hammies would be absolutely hammered. Well, I've had two ski lessons, and thank God they were both on television, so they were paid for. Oh, no, that's a lot of money.

Are you ever thinking I could just figure it out, you know, in situ? Do you think so? Yeah, I think so. How hard can skiing be? And the good news is ACC will cover the outcome of that. There you go. Hey, we've all had an ACC from the mountain. We've all had an ACC from the mountain.

Multiple ACC's. How many have you had? Multiple. Multiple. Broken wrist. Yeah. That was the big doozy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Yummy, yummy, yummy. In my tummy it's so rich and good. Yummy, yummy, a segment of the show where we tell you about new food trends, new food items hitting the shelves. This was posted by the Arnott's Tim Tam

New Zealand Facebook page. Okay. Exciting news. We're excited to announce the launch of Tim Tam Coconut Cream. Oh, yeah. Bit of a bounty bar vibe. Yeah, so it looks like there's a bit of a

like a filling in the middle, which is all coconutty. I reckon this is a bit of me. Yeah, a bit of me. Toasted coconut cream. I've not made a Tim Tam I didn't like, though. Yeah, you're actually right. There's not a bad one, eh?

Nah. I don't really get... I don't go for them. They're a bit much. Please turn your microphone off. I know, I just... If a Tim Tam's a bit much. I don't think I've ever bought a packet of Tim Tam.

How is it a bit much? Tim Tams are not a bit much. How is it a bit much? It's too much. What? It's a log. A log? It's a log of biscuit. A log? You don't have to eat the whole thing. You don't a bit much? It's too much. What? It's a log. A log? It's a log of biscuits.

You don't have to eat the whole thing. You don't have to eat the whole packet once. I go one at a time. I nibble it too. I always start the Tim Tam with the best of intentions. Before I make it last. Nibble, nibble, nibble. Nibble, nibble, nibble.

And then you've done a whole packet and you're like, man. Because we found in the back of the cupboard a salted caramel Tim Tam the other day. Oh, yeah, those are good. And the girl said, can we open them? I said, yes. And they opened them and had one each. And then Sade came to have one and there was one left. Yeah.

And I was like, who ate all the Tim Tams? And the girls were like, we literally had one each. And I just subconsciously ate in all but three. Oh, my God. Honestly, not an effort. Not thinking about it. Not constantly being like, oh, I shouldn't have another one.

It just... Yeah. They were just in and gone. They're best in the fridge. Like they go a little bit hard. Oh, you're so good. The coconut ones I could get down on. For sure.

Are we being stiffed in any way here? This is bad. But you know, like with shrinkflation and stuff, is there like one less biscuit in the pack? Because I was trying to peddle that off too when I had a whole packet. Oh, like with shrinkflation and stuff, is there like one less biscuit in the pack? Because I was trying to peddle that off too when I had a whole pack of them.

I was like, I think there's just less in the pack. Yeah, they've definitely put like five less in there. Yeah, yeah.

No, they haven't. No, same size. God damn it. But yeah, I don't know when they're out.

Well, they're out in Australia. Okay. Oh my God. Yeah. Already? Stand by. Like last month.

Okay. Well, yeah, this was two days ago, this post on Arnott's Tim Tam New Zealand's page. Out of stock in Australia, though. They've obviously gone well. If they're not here, because you guys are going to Australia, eh? We're going to Melbourne in like three weeks tomorrow. If they're not here yet, can you get some?

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Cool beans. Oh, no, but nah, nah, because then we have to line up in that. Nah, don't nah, nah me. Then we have to line up in the. Nah, nah, nah, me. Don't nah, nah, me. Then we have to line up in the, do you have somebody to declare line?

No, you don't have to declare sealed biscuits. Yes, you do. No. What do you mean no? I'm not going to prison so that you can have coconut biscuits. You never declare sealed food. Yes, you do.

Because then if you get caught and you haven't declared it, you're screwed. No, waste of time. What do you mean you don't declare sealed food? You declare all food products. If you're going to get, no. If it's sealed, you don't.

Because they're like, oh, yeah, I've got sealed biscuits. And they're like, oh, don't worry about that. Go past the sniffy dog. You have to declare what? Your what? My sealed fish eggs. No. No.

What about my sealed butterflies? I like to bring in several moth and larvae type. Yeah. You said it worse. Sorry. I've gotten worse. I forgot about your trigger word there. Now, there is a man called Caden.

So I can only assume he grew up being a bit of a brat. Yes. Got naughty boy written all over him. Good naughty boy indeed. He works for a company called Loyalty Test. Okay. Loyalty Test, where you can hire

him for 100 US dollars. So quite a lot of money. Yeah, what's that? 160 New Zealand? And he will run a test against your girlfriend to see if she would cheat. So he won't go through with it.

He must be super hot. He is hot. Okay. He will never go through with it. He will never send an explicit photo. Yeah. But what you do is you can go on this website, which I've just gone on, loyalty-test.com, and you can hire these testers. And so you can go on this website which I've just gone on loyalty-test.com

and you can hire these testers and so you can look at them, they're all gorgeous there's men, women, everyone and oh god this man's name is Light Cheese Larry Light Cheese as in the plural of Light Cheese

or Light Cheese so you can go on, you can pick someone and be like, yep, that's, say I was doing this to Aaron. That's a bit of him. Well, because you'd want to pick their type, wouldn't you? You'd want to pick their type. Yep. And then they can, there's, you know, various costs for,

I'll charge 65 US dollars for a little chit chat. Right. And do they just slide into like the DMs of whatever social? Yeah. Okay. A chit chat extension which is taking it a bit further and getting to know them and maybe chatting for at least five

days. And then you've got the FaceTime session, a flirty one-on-one FaceTime session with your loyal significant other. Call will be recorded and then sent to you. So what they do is basically slide into your partner's DMs. And test them. Test them with just

a little like, hey cutie and what's up? This guy who opened up about this, the guy who works for this company was like saying, oh you know I've never been to South Africa and I really want to come and have a look. And then the partner that was being tested was like, you should

totally come over. And he was like, well, what if I booked a flight? She'd be like, that'd be awesome. And then just like screenshot it, send it to the partner. The partner was like, thank you. It's over. I've got enough. And then breaks up with them. I mean, I think if you're even signing up to the service, your relationship is probably a bit doomed, right? Larm bells. It's already a red flag. There's no trust there. Save yourself the money.

Yeah. So basically it's kind of like you can join this company almost like an OnlyFans. It's up to you how far you want to go as a tester. And then you advertise your services and then you go to put them to a test. Would that be a fun job? Would you like to be one of the testers?

Hell yes, I'm not hot enough. Yes, you are. Yes, you are hot enough. Sorry. Yes, you are hot enough. Coming up on the show, the top six are today. Sorry. What? Sorry,. Sorry. What?

Sorry, hang on. What? So I just feel like that gap was like way too long. Well, I was just going to tell everyone what was coming up in the top six. I would think this would be a really fun job. I would love to do this job. I'm great at chanting, but I'm not hot enough.

Oh my God, you're so hot enough. Thank you. Yeah. Jesus. God. Yeah, it took a while, didn't it? What? I was just going to tell everybody what the top six was.

I was still talking about the service. Turn your headphones up. I didn't. You don't have your headphones plugged in. Yeah, they're in, they're on. Because I was just saying that I'd love to work for this testing company. Yeah. But I'm definitely not hot enough, eh?

Okay. So the top six. You're not getting any compliments today from Vaughn. I had to fish for that. You had to bottom troll for that. Yeah, god. No, I just agreed.

What? Well, I mean... I think his headphones are off. Yeah, I think his headphones Are off Yeah I think his headphones Get him to use his headphones Yeah Hello there This weekend in the

Farapama Cup The far what? The Farapama Cup Far in the Farapama Cup. The Far what? The Farapama Cup. Farapama. Farapama. Cup. Oh, gosh. Farapama.

Cup. Oh, Farapama. Hawke's Bay Tui playing Canterbury. You don't say the Hawke's Bay. Like, you're going to the Hawke's Bay. You say, I'm going to Hawke's Bay. Yeah. But if you're referring to that specific team, you would say the Hawke's Bay, too, right?

Yes. The Hurricanes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Auckland Blues. Okay, good. Now, and this is quite a feat. This is awesome. This is a mum and daughter.

Taylor and Julie Ferguson. Mum and daughter, same team, playing together. And this is rugby. This is nuts. Full-blind rugby. Full-blind rugby. They're playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full-blind rugby. Full-blind rugby. They're playing it. Things hurt when you're that old.

Ouch. Golden oldies. They should move back to Ripper when you're over. I'm just speaking as a weak over 40-year-old. Yeah, it would hurt. Julie looks like she could take it. Oh, yeah, she looks like an absolute machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So given that, you know, that she looks like an absolute machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So given that, you know, that just is what I feel good. Yeah. I've got the top six things my mother and I could do together at a national level. Oh, great.

Quite a bit like my mother. A little like my father, but quite a bit like my mother. Number six on the list, laundry. We both run a tight laundry ship. Yeah, yeah, you do. I believe we could compete

together at a national level. Are there laundry competitions? Don't know. There will be somewhere, right? You do too many loads, though. No, you do lots of loads. You're actually bleeding the environment dry. No.

The only laundry competitions I can find are like winner washing machine. Oh, okay. Well, maybe we could compete in the laundry to win a new washing machine. Is there a laundry folding competition? If you Google laundry folding? One moment, please. That's our least favourite part.

Oh, is it? You just like the more putting it in the machine. Yeah, getting it on the line, getting a good dry, getting a line dry. What about getting it in before it rains?

Oh, you'd get points off if you didn't get the forecast right. Stain removing competition near me. Near me? No, it's just ranking. I simply won't travel.

Well, I'll tell you what, if you are a laundry liquid company, that... The Farapama Laundry Cup. Start a cup. Oh, Laundry Cup. And I'll tell you what, my father-in-law, Phil Cordese,

he'll see you there. He will he? Oh, wow. He will see you there. Oh, he'll be there. What does he do for a tomato sauce stain? Gets rid of it is what he does. Scrubs the hell out of it.

Okay, right. No, he doesn't want to do that. It's too rough on the material. Already you're losing, man. Yeah. So that sard soap that's always hanging around in the laundry, that you wash your hands with every now and then, and you look at your hands and you're like, what is that?

That was, man, these feel clean. That was thick. Number five on the list of the top six things my mother and I could do at a national level together. Absolutely let someone know it's time to leave without saying a word. Get the big black sack out. I learnt from my mother. It's a look for her.

It just gets her a certain part of the night. She'll try to catch dad's eye when he's in the middle of one of his stories. And he'll be like, oh, well, I'll finish this one next time. I think it's time we left. Beautiful. Wow, immediately. Artful. It's not a wrap it up,

it's let's go. No, no, no, it's a now. He's been well taught. It's time to go. You have to. Number four on the list of the top six things my mother and I could do together

at a national level, much like Taylor and Julie Ferguson in the Hawke's Bay Tui. Happily turned down multiple invites to socialise. Really? Yeah, Christine's a big, oh, no thank you. Not even a reason. She'll just sometimes be like, oh, no thank you.

God. Not even I can't because? No, no, no, no. Sometimes it's just a straight no thank you. It's ruthless. Oh, no thank you. Oh, no thank you. Number three on the list of the top six things that my mother and I could do together at a national level.

Say we're full, but immediately find room for a little bit of pud. Always room for pud. Always room for pud. Oh, no thank you. Again, I don't know if there's a pudding championships. I do have a cheesecake. Pudding eating. Maybe a little bit of pud.

Pudding eating, yeah. There'd definitely be a pudding eating. Pudding eating championships. Pudding eating. Maybe a little bit of pudding. Pudding eating, yeah. It'd definitely be a pudding eating. Pudding eating championships. A pudding eating. Well, there's one specifically just for banana pudding. Oh, no. No thanks. What is a banana pudding?

Like a self-sourcing caramelised banana pudding. There's not a New Zealand pudding eating competition. So we'll launch that. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things my mother and I could do together at a national Personalised banana pudding could be quite nice. There's not a New Zealand pudding eating competition. There you go. So we'll launch that. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things my mother and I could do together at a national level. Quietly, but absolutely destructively tear someone's achievement down. What, like a very Kiwi way of bringing them back down to earth?

Wow. I remember we were on the way home and I said, I came second in speeches. And she was driving the car and she kind of looked at me and went, second. Like that. Second. That's good. Just that.

Yeah, that. You didn't win, did you? It's like Indy's hockey team came third. She's like, Shardae said, third's not too bad. I said, to tell you what's better, second or first. And then afterwards, I was like, oh, I can't do that.

And I was like, yeah, no, third's great. Third's great. Yeah, third's great. I feel triggered. There's no second. And number one on the list of the top six things

my mother and I could do at a national level together, much like Taylor and Julie Ferguson and the Hawks Bay Tui and the Parapanpapam and the Parapanpapam this weekend, schnitzel.

Oh, wow. And bam! They do a good snitty. I haven't had your snitty. I haven't had your snitty. I feel I put too much pressure on. I'd have to have forewarning because we're out of rice bran oil. Doing a panko?

Of course. Thank you. Of course. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a crumb. I like to flavour the crumb as well. Oh, you must. Yeah, yeah. It's a missed opportunity otherwise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Of course. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a crumb. I like to flavour the crumb as well. Oh, you must? Yeah, yeah. It's a missed opportunity otherwise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely wasted. My mum's a bit more old school. She doesn't flavour it as much. But different generations. That is today's top six. Read this news story yesterday. Shocked me to my core.

A man called Sean, travelling around our fine country, said that he had returned from overseas and he was absolutely shocked about the cost of living here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. But he said it never hit him more than when he saw a $14.50 sausage roll. It would have been bougie, though. It still. It would have been a cafe bouge Not huge, it looks smaller than a pie Like you know

You expect a gourmet pie to run it You could expect a 1450 gourmet pie In places With something With chips or with a decent Side salad or something But it's got to be a big pie. And gourmet. And gourmet, like it's got to have good fillings.

But a sausage roll, that is not $14.50 worth of anything. Minced up poops. This cafe, which remained nameless, did say that it is one of their bougier products. It's made with love. Okay. It's not

just a bakery one, is it? No, no, no, no, no. They're made in-house. It has apple for sweetness plus onions, herbs, spices and a mixture of sausage meat. It's made with love. It comes with a deli-made relish and a garnish, but leave the garnish.

Don't charge me for a garnish. If the garnish is part of the expense, I will have it left out happily. No parsley knob on top, thank you. If the parsley's free, I'll eat it, but I don't want to pay for it. Yeah. So this was the most expensive sausage roll he's seen.

He's working around the country at the moment. Right. And he said he saw, was it a $6.51 on the Inter-Islander? And he was like, that seems expensive. It's the Inter-Islander? And he was like, that seems expensive. It's the Inter-Islander though. Everything's jacked up. They've got you. They've got you.

You're on the boat. So yeah, he said that, you know, it seems to be around the $4 or $5 mark. That was going to be my question because I'm not a sausage roll eater. See, I love a sausage roll. Really? Yeah.

Especially if it's got carrot in it. Carrot? I don't know why. I really love, you know, when you go to a bakery and you just want a cheap pie or saucy roll, when they've got carrot in it, it's got a sweetness to it. Yeah, right. You ever make your own sausage roll? No, I've never made my own.

Yeah. It's pretty easy. It's just mix. It's just getting the mix of the stuff you like and then. Wrap it in some pastry. Yeah, yeah. And bake that sucker. Right.

Yeah. But I mean, I guess meat's quite expensive at the moment. Yeah, meat's coming up. That would be obviously the most expensive part. Veg is coming up. And I don't know what veg was in this expensive sausage roll. Yeah. But $14.50.

Insane. Now, hang on. Someone's written an article in the New Zealand Herald, my news source of choice. She's a company. Now, this is only from a couple of years ago, trying to search for Auckland's best sausage roll. I'm sure there's a nationwide one.

One of them's across the road. I've never had this. Where across the road? Down there? No. There, other way. Really? Yeah, I think we're getting sausage rolls.

That's how easy it was. We'll be the judge. Sausage rolls for breakfast. Better have carrot in it Now that's really That's really important for me Yeah but if it's over the road That'll be It'll be

It won't be 14.50 But it'll be It'll be up there It'll be up there Well I'm not shouting You know you can all pay For your individual sausage rolls As long as I get one

Then I'm happy Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Silly little foe Silly little foe ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Today's Silly Little Poll is about the Netflix cracking down on passwords situation. After they did that, did you delete your account? It never happened to me. I never got that choose your prime location thing.

Because your mum has your login? Yeah, and a couple other people. Me and Aaron share it, and my mum and dad use it, and I think a friend of ours uses it. Okay. Period it. Okay. Periodically. Right. I just never got that notification saying, you know when people had to choose their home. Yeah, prime location. Whereas I've heard some people it did crack down on them but it's kind of loosened up a little bit.

Yeah, right. Now, yeah. Yeah. Well, after it happened, did you delete your account was what we asked. 16% of people said yes. Wow. Okay, after it happened, did you delete your account was what we asked. 16% of people said yes. Wow. Okay, deleted it. 77% of people said no.

And 7% said I finally got my own account. Oh, yes, they were the leeches. The leeches. I think at the moment Netflix has the worst stuff, the worst content. Yeah, it's definitely not. There's way more stuff on other platforms like Disney+, Neon, and Prime. And Apple.

Yeah. Oh, really? Is Prime pumping at the moment? Prime's got some good stuff. Prime's got good stuff. Yeah, Prime's got some good stuff. Because I have them all, but I have friends that just go one,

exhaust it, cancel it, then get another one, exhaust it. Okay, well, that's coming out. I'll get that one. Especially at the moment because when you add them all together, it can be a lot of money a month. I'd pay over $100, I reckon, a month on all my subscriptions. Whereas do what you say, just exhaust it.

Yeah, and they just sit there. That's a great idea. But then you've got to have a series done by the end of the payment month. Otherwise, you're staying on that platform another month. Are you still watching 2002's The Shield? I am. I'm up to season two. I've nearly done season two.

Nearly done season two of a 20-year-old show. It is wild, the language that was used. Like, some of the episodes, you're just like, we wouldn't say that now. No, we certainly wouldn't say that now. We wouldn't act like that now. No, we certainly wouldn't. Danny said, we keep saying we'll get rid of it,

but then finding out another show we want to watch. Oh, yeah, okay. That's how they get you. That's what we're experiencing. Yeah. Somebody else said, it still works on phone and Chromecast TV, but don't tell people that. Oh, well, I mean, it's too late now.

That needs to be at the start of the message. Yeah, why don't you text us saying something we can't say? Still using my friend's account who lives in the Netherlands, and my parents are still using my brother's account, but it works. Yeah. Oh, okay. Also, I saw a headline

the other week about Disney Plus cracking down on this as well. I heard that too. Yeah. Everyone I share my password with still has access. There was a message

that I had to set my default network connection, but ever since, everyone still had access. Yeah, it's weird. Do you think it just scared enough people to sign up themselves? Yeah, maybe it wasn't fully developed and ready to go. So it scared enough people, but the other people, I just, yeah.

Yeah. Weird. Didn't take no, I'm just a bad girl, you know. I'm just a bad girl like that. Yeah, you are. Thinking about getting my motorcycle license. Someone said, I had my sister's one, and she lives 100 meters over a paddock, and I still couldn't use hers.

So I had to make my own. Oh, gosh. So that's weird. They live, like, very close to each other. That's why the system was never perfect. Because you're technically in the same house, right? Yeah, but someone's using it in the Netherlands and in New Zealand. Nah, haven't used Netflix in years.

Mum life, ain't no one got free time for that. She says, well, endlessly scrolling Instagram. Yeah, add up your doom scrolling time. I bet you would have had time to watch a good series. 100%. It would have been probably a lot better for your mental health. I tell you what though, when you delete Netflix, because I haven't had it for like three months, they email, they're like

you've dumped someone and they are not over it. Do they send you sweeteners? You know, sometimes when you're leaving a subscription you'll go cancel and it'll be like, well, what if we gave you 10% off this month? They just say,

here's a whole lot of shows we've got. Oh, we've got new shows, new shows. Come see our shows. Here, here, here. But yeah, no discounts or offers. Right. Callie said,

no, I'm still able to use my in-laws. Don't ask me how, but it works and I haven't been forced to get my own account. Libby said we made the decision to cancel all of our subscriptions

and go back to our youth of downloading movies off Pirate Bay Arr Arr Arr Oh Libby They're probably going to be

hearing this conversation you know they monitor the media AI with AI and they transcribe it and send it to their I mean is there a is there a bounty

on turning in pirates because I don't know Libby from a bar of soap I'll happily trade her for some money I mean, is there a bounty on turning in pirates? Because I don't know Libby. From a bar of soap, I'll happily trade her for some money. Maybe a month's worth of Netflix. Maybe. Good idea. I'm just on Netflix looking to see if I'd be ready to part. But I've been a bit slow because I was watching so much Love Island.

Yeah. So I've got quite a few shows to catch up on. Right, so you're not cancelling anytime soon? Nah. It's going to let hundreds burn. Someone said, I use Plex. If you know catch up on. Right, so you're not cancelling anytime soon? Nah. It's going to let hundreds burn. Someone said, I use Plex. If you know, you know. Yes, I know.

I've got Plex. Yeah, we know. Yeah, we know. We know. I reckon, I don't even know when this first started, but I reckon it would have been like 13 years ago, maybe. 12 years ago. A long time ago.

There was no better feeling than putting on a nice colour of nail polish on your nails. Say I've chosen silver glitter. Yeah. I put that on and then I open up my OPI Crackle nail polish and you put a top coat on and you

watch it as it crackles apart. Now we all had crackle. I know the girlies, you crackled. You dabbled in the crackle. Oh, my God. I went hard for the crackle polish. So, wait, would you put it, because I just Googled crackle nail polish, would you put a colour underneath?

Yeah. Yeah, and then the top coat goes on and covers it. Yeah. And as it dries, it crackles. So, the crackle stuff on top was its own colour. You didn't put like a clear coat on that crackled the underneath? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You had two colours.

Because the crackle revealed the underneath colour. And then you'd be like, oh, my God, she's got a very expensive design. Shannon, did you crackle? Dabble in the crackle? I dabbled hard. I love it. And like, yeah, I could go back. Well, what is the hard version of dabbling?

Committing. Because you said dabbling hard, but I think dabble is always indicating a light, a light, a light entry. My brain thought doubled, but I don't think that's it. She doubled in it. She doubled in it. You're just going up through the vowels.

So you dabble, then you dibble, then you dibble, then you doubled, then you doubled. Dooble. Dooble. You dooble. Well, I'm going to dooble. Dooble. You dooble. Well, I'm going to dooble because apparently it's back in fashion, guys. So Essence, which is a very, very cheap nail polish, should probably last you, I reckon, two hours on the nail.

Right. Before it chips and flakes away. No, I won't hear a good word said about them. Wow. Now, they've shared on their TikTok that they've got the crackle top coat back and people are like, this is so cool. I think probably Gen Z is like, this is so cool because they weren't really, you know, they were probably a bit young for the crackle.

Yeah, right. But, man, I don't even know. I think I threw all my crackles out. I did OPI crackle. Oh, must be nice. I feel like that was nice. The older it is, the better it'll work now, though. It'll be more crackly.

Yeah, you barely have anything left. But are OPI going to do a crackle? Surely if it's back in... They'll retaliate with a crackle. In fact, I don't even know if their crackle went off the market. It's just it went, it came so, it was like everyone had crackle nails and then it was just gone and they were tacky. And then everyone was like

crackle sucks. But so now they're not tacky, they're back. Well, everything that is, was tacky is back. Yeah. You know? That's just how it works, isn't it?. Well, everything that was tacky is back. Yeah. You know? That's just how it works, isn't it? That's how fashion works. Tacky is backy.

Tacky is backy. So you've got, at the moment, you've got lovely fluoro orange nails. Thank you for doing those yesterday. They're great, eh? So if you got some crackle, what colour would you go? Do you know what orange is most complimentary colour? Blue. Up the waz blue.

So you'd go blue. I screwed up my nose, but then you said up the waz, I'm automatically on board. A navy blue crackle top coat over the top, and you'd be like, why is she painting blue? And then it would go, and then I'd just have blue crackle with the orange peeping out from underneath. You could go red underneath on one and then green on the next

and then white on the next and then go over with the navy blue. It crackles. You've got the full whas. You've got the full Warriors supporters nails. Because I get my nails done every three weeks. Are the whas still going to be? Mate, the Warriors are going all the way to the grand final this year. Well, if they go to the Grand Final

you can do some crackle Waz nails. I'll commit to doing some Waz nails if they go to the final. Will you? Okay, great. Now, my lovely nail girl and friend Sophie listens to ZDM every day. All day, actually. I got my nails done at 5pm and she

was still listening. I was like, good for you. But she'll be listening going, oh, we're doing Waz, are we? We're doing the Waz nails. Three weeks time, I'm going to have some Waz nails. Pretty excited.

Now, yesterday at the gym, I was doing, what's that one with the cable tricep? Oh, yeah, you can get into a bit of that. Cable pulldowns. I get into, what's that one with the cable tricep? Oh, you pull. You know, you get into a bit of that. Cable pulldowns.

I get into a bit of that. Those, you know, so you stand in front of it and you pull it down. And you clench your little. You clench it. You try. Tucked in, tucked in. And you know, it's like real close to your face because you stand. If you're doing it right, it is.

If you're doing it right, yeah, exactly. Good boy. I accidentally licked the cable. That's not so bad. That's not so bad. I thought you were going to lick the... Is yours a rope? Yes, it's a rope. I thought you were going to lick the rope. I never know what to do with the rope.

When I'm finished with that thing, I always wipe it with the... Nobody's wiping down anything anymore. Nah, not stuff like that. There's no pandemic. It's over. Nah. Someone I was talking to yesterday just tested positive for COVID.

So, it's still here. Yeah, look, our office isn't faring too well. It's still here. People are dropping white flies. Now, no, you wipe the rope. Why don't you just wipe the rope? You don't wipe the rope. You don't wipe the rope.

I also loved. It does the work when you're holding the rope and you're giving it the stroke. And you're holding the ball at the bottom of it and you're just absolutely Yeah, you're really just stroking it. Making it work. Nah, it looks more like

you're milking a cow because I hold the top and run the hand out. Nobody wipes the cable. Nah. So I was just I was really close in and I was like

right near the end and I was like and then I just poked I just was like and my tongue just went and I licked it and I was like I was going to ask what's your tongue doing out when you're doing that but and I licked it, and I was like, I was going to ask, what's your tongue doing out when you're doing that?

But I get it, the last ones, and you're like, and then for some reason, it just licked the cable, and I was like, what did you do, did you drop the weight? Yeah, I was just like, and then it just kind of like licked my shirt, just to be like, which was probably even dirtier, because you were sweating. But it's his own dirt. Yeah, maybe, yeah,

but at least it's my own. Not the worst thing you've licked this week. I would dare. What else have I licked this week? I'm just assuming. He's a big ice cream boy. I'm assuming. But he loves the scoops. But I was wondering this morning, and this, I mean,

maybe this is an impossible phone-in topic. I don't know. But have you ever accidentally licked something? Yeah. Have you seen that video? Somebody just sent it to me on a story the other day. Some guy's in his car filming himself and his mate's outside the window playing silly buggers.

He's like checking his hair in the window reflection. He's like, yeah, yeah. And then a bird flies over and poops on the window. Yeah. And the guy's like, oh my God, I can't believe that missed. And the guy goes, pretends to lick it. And his mate presses the down button on the window just as he goes underneath it.

And he licks the entire bird poo off the window. It's wild. Yuck. Yuck, yuck. Oh, yuck. I'm trying to think about an accidental lick. Yeah, maybe it's an impossible

finding topic. I don't know. I've definitely gone to lick food off my fingers and realise I haven't washed my hands and there's something gross on it Yeah there'll be stories

like that people that have licked their fingers Because you know I pick my nose I'm a big nose picker Yeah but that's like your own boogers

whereas if you're out in public and you touch something and you lick your fingers and you've touched something Yeah maybe you fell asleep on a park bench and you're like

ehhh And accidentally licked a bench Why are fell asleep on a park bench. You're like, eh. And accidentally licked a bench. Why are you sleeping on a park bench? You okay? Tough times, man. Tough times. No furniture in my house. Okay, 0800DARLS.M. I want to take some calls this morning

after I accidentally licked gym equipment yesterday. Is this the phone up? What did you accidentally lick? What did you accidentally lick? I want to take some calls. 0800Ds at M. You can text in as well. 9696.

You can be anonymous if you want to text in. Don't be rude either. Lick something manky. We all accidentally licked that, you know? 0800 dials at M. Give us a call. What have you accidentally licked? Olivia Rodrigo.

I can't be just going to text it. That's really funny. Yesterday at the gym, I accidentally lipped. Licked. Lipped. I accidentally licked the cable. Yeah. When I was doing an exercise.

That's so yuck. The cable doesn't see a lot of hand, though. It sees a lot of grease. Don't they have grease on that thing? Grease is better than other people's sweat. Yeah, at least it wasn't the cable rope thing. But we want to know this morning, what have you accidentally licked? Oh, there are some great stories coming through.

These are really making me laugh. Really making me laugh. So good. Let's go to Steph. Steph, what did you accidentally lick? Well, it wasn't so much as lick. A few years ago when I was working in Auckland, we had a sort of workers' night out and we went to this nice place, really lovely, Mexican Cafe.

And it's quite sort of cosy and dimly lit and everything. So we had our table and, you know, they bring all the food out and stuff and nice little hors d'oeuvres and snacks. So we're all chipping away. And I spot a nice little bowl of honey roasted peanuts. Oh, yum. So I hook hooking to those. It was actually, there was also bowls of olives, and they were people's olive pits that they put into this.

Oh! Oh, that is so gross. You were sucking and licking on the olive stones. I only ate one because as soon as I bit it, and it was like rock hard, I'm like, that is not a peanut. Salty brownie. And everyone's like nibbled around them.

Yuck. Dom, what did you accidentally lick? Oh, hi. I'm a chef, and about 15 years ago, I was doing a big massive function in the middle of the garden somewhere and there was buckets of things and there was buckets of salt because it was 2,000 people. There was buckets of salt, buckets of sugar.

So I opened one, I'm like, is it salt or sugar? So I licked my finger, dipped it in, put it on my tongue and it was caustic soda. I was just about to say. Oh my God. Wait, so it wasn't salt, it was what foric soda. I was just about to say. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait, so it wasn't salt. It was what for the washing? Acid.

It was caustic soda. Yeah, I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know why. That should be labelled. Wait, what do you use that for? It should have been labelled. Exactly. I'm still angry about it.

Was your tongue all right? I am. No. Well, it took maybe three months to heal. It was the most painful thing ever. I can't tell you how painful it was. It was horrific. And I couldn't eat anything slightly acidic.

Oh, my God. So as a chef, you're like stuffed. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, my God. Everyone got shit food that month. Oh, my God. That's insane. Is this salt or sugar? It should always be labelled. Oh, my God. That's insane. Is this salt or sugar?

It should always be labelled. It should always be. Everything should always be labelled. Dom, thank you. Some messages. And what have you accidentally licked? This is our favourite text. I accidentally licked the dentist's finger while I was having a check-up.

Then I went to say I was sorry, and I was like, sorry, and I bit her. I was so embarrassed. Oh, my gosh, all right. I look at that one more than you think. All the time. Their finger's in there, and you're just like. Oh, and then Dennis is in there, and your fear is the gag, and you're like. Need to swallow?

And you're like. And then you're going. They've seen it all. They've seen it all. They've seen it all. Yeah. I was eating a block of chocolate. And it got to the end and I found some chocolate on the back of my hand. I was like, how did you get there?

And I licked it. And as I licked it, I was like, that's not chocolate. That had been pet in their dog. It was dog poo. It was dog poos. It was dog poos. And they spewed for hours. Yuck.

And they spewed for hours. There's so many. There's some that are really like, I think we may need a podcast special. Oh my God, can I read this one? I was hanging out in town with a group of friends, including potential boyfriend in my teens. And we were eating suvalakis. I looked down and saw what I thought was tzatziki

from my suvalaki on my school blazer and I said, oh, whoops, and I whipped it off. It was bird poo, wasn't it? And I licked it

and a seagull had pooed on me. Oh, good. Wait, did she like carry on and pretend it was... No, everyone had seen the bird poo on her And as she was doing it and licking it

Everyone was like, no, a seagull just shat on you Yuck, yuck, yuck Somebody said It's disgusting Excuse me Are you alright? When their children were younger They'd go to the supermarket

And they'd just kind of like Kind of free range the kids in the supermarket And they found out their two sons would go to the meat department and lick the chicken juice off the, you know, when you buy a tray of chicken and the juice somehow gets around the gladiator in the bottom, the kids would lick the bottom of the container, lick the raw chicken juice and then pop it back in the bin. I don't think that's an accidental lick.

Look, that's just... That's disgusting. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Got a lot of numbers in front of me. We are 115 days, 16 hours hours and 8 minutes away from Christmas.

That's good. That's starting to feel good. That's starting to feel good. You know it because it's September tomorrow. Yep. And the first day of spring tomorrow. Yeah. Daylight savings.

Probably a pretty good time. Well, if your frosts are done. Frosts, it's unpredictable because it's got cold again. Good time to plant the Christmas spuds. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. You just buy them from the supermarket. Yeah, they dig them up. Jersey Benny, baby. Get it. Daylight savings three weeks away this Sunday. Yes. No, two.

Two. Yeah, no. Three. Two and a half earlier this... No, it's three. I think you said two and a half earlier in the week. No, it's definitely three because I'm going to be in Melbourne. I'm really...

The time is going to really stuff me up. So, a lot of reports of Christmas. That's definitely starting to flow in now. 115 days away. One news reporting as well of the penetration of Christmas. That's definitely starting to flow in now. 115 days away. One news reporting as well of the penetration of Christmas. Yes. Stay in your lane, breakfast. Did you see someone was advertising Christmas puddings

that expire on the 25th of December? December, yeah. That's good. That's a great excuse to have a Christmas cake or pud before Christmas. Yeah. It can just be a fruit cake, you know. Have a hot cross bun as well while you're at it. Yeah, do it.

All the seasonal treats. What were they thinking in that factory? Like, just tick the date over like two days. Yeah, you'll be fine. Get it done. So that is actually one of the reports of Christmas. Hannah said breakfast is getting in our lane. I'll ask them to stay in their own lane.

Even though we are borrowing Maddie McLean for the week. Yeah, we are. So maybe we can merge lanes. I did get Nick to note to that. I've written him a wartime love letter in reply. Oh, my God, it's huge. His eyes only from the Western front. Other reports of Christmas.

Rod. Did we mention that One News mentioned they were selling advent calendars? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That reports of Christmas. Rod. Did we mention that One News mentioned they were selling advent calendars? Yeah. That was their report. There's other advent calendar news as well. Rod sent to me the Toy World mailer that he just got saying the early Christmas toy sale

is on now. 16 weeks to go. Okay. Yeah. Jessica reports the sighting of caramel baubles. What? Baubles, of course. Caramel. Synonymous with Christmas.

Caramel. Yes, caramel baubles. Let me get a little closer. Wait, what? What, you eat them or they go on the tree? Creamy caramelized white chocolate baubles. Yeah, they're wrapped. You can hang them.

In New Zealand? Oh, I don't know where Jessica's report came from. It looks like a New Zealand shelf. My word. Looks like a supermarket. I can't wait to get a Christmas tree. came from. It looks like a New Zealand shelf. My word. It looks like a supermarket. I can't wait to get a Christmas tree. You're getting your first tree? My first Christmas tree this year. Another report from Tracy of a family

block Christmas cake. Now this is best before the 22nd of September. Fantastic. So you've got three weeks to eat that Christmas cake months before Christmas. Yeah. But she said it says Christmas on it, so this definitely counts. Ali has reported Smiggle having 20% off their advent calendars.

Okay. I've never had a Smiggle advent calendar. Do you think it's Smiggle products? What do you open, like, yeah, three days before Christmas, you get a pencil or something? Yeah. I mean, that's cool. That's awesome.

That's gorgeous. You know, keep people. I want chocolate. Yeah. Can I also, tip of the hat, Wilson. You know Wilson every year, Wilson. That's good. Just, you know, keep people. I want chocolate. Yeah. Can I also, tip of the hat, Wilson. You know Wilson every year, Wilson. Every year. I think it's the only part of the show that Wilson truly loves.

Does he? I think he participates in the long weekend group too, though, doesn't he? He has. He's participated in the long weekend group too before. He said, I was in Countdown Green Lane and beside the little fridge that holds the little cokes and such. Oh, yep, yep. There was a big stack of advent calendars.

The Cadbury advent calendars too. Oh, yeah. You know, one of your higher level advent calendars. Those junky Australian, yucky, half chocolate calendars that are always around. Yeah. But an official Santa Cadbury Christmas advent calendar. So with all that in mind and 115 days away from Christmas.

Elves, get busy. Right now, Christmas penetration is at... 9%. Holy... It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play ZM's Style on ZM, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Yesterday, Maya picking up the double pass to see Taylor Swift live

Hey, Maya Yes? You're off to see Taylor Swift live in Sydney Oh my god, are you serious? Oh, thank you so much You've got to be listening for those next tickets at the next Taylor Swift song at midday and four to win the tickets to see her live. Okay, another announcement.

God, we're full of them. Are we ready? Yes, I'm ready. The countdown to the biggest party in all Te Arawa is on. Zed Am presents Friday's Live Well, we can finally announce. We have known this lineup for how long now?

Months? Cogs were turning, parts were clicking in, and now it's time. So excited to announce the lineup. We were going to launch, but then it was cloudy. That's right, we had to wait for the weather. It's very much like a rocket, isn't it? Oh, hell yeah. It is. Now, ZM presents Friday's Live. This

will be on a Thursday, and this year, November 16th, Spark Arena. I love Spark Arena. And not just because the staff are very nice to us in particular. Oh my God, we get looked after. We get looked after.

But very good venue. This will sell out. Yes. Because this is an incredible lineup. Tickets will go on sale on September the 12th. Last year was so much fun. Macklemore was the highlight. Absolutely right.

One of the best nights out of my year last year. Let's find out who is playing at Friday's Live. Returning to our stage for the second time, it's Mr. Savage Love himself. Jason Derulo. He's back.

He's back. He loves New Zealand. I like him. He loves New Zealand like it is pumping iron. He loves his Zealand. I like him. He loves New Zealand like he loves pumping iron. He loves his thighs and his tris and his lats and his squats. The crowd's all going to be doing the dance to this. Yes, 100%. He is headlining Friday's Live.

Jason Derulo. Okay, I'm excited about this one. Most excited about this one. Most excited about this one. Put on your apple-bottom jeans and those boots with the fur. It's Flo Rida. Oh, my gosh. Now, do you know, it was you who told me that Flo Rida means Florida. It means Florida, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think it was only a few years ago that I also just learned that. The rest of us kind of worked it out immediately when we saw it written down for the first time. Flo Rida is absolutely iconic. So many songs. So many bangers. Send her a text via Excel spreadsheet.

It's Callie Rowland. Yes, Callie Rowland. Yes, Callie Rowland at Friday's Live. That's right. She sent the text. The Excel spreadsheet. And the Nellie and Callie video. And Dilemma. Dilemma, yeah. The Dilemma was he's not getting your messages because you keep typing them on a BlackBerry

in Excel. Yeah. So many bangers that you kind of forget how many songs in the 2000s she was a part of. She's incredible. Kelly Rowland at Friday's Live. Motown Philly back again. Boys to Men. Did you ever think you'd get to see boys to men?

Never in my life. So good. I reckon there's going to be a lot of phone torches. Yes. And a lot of big tears. Big sing-alongs. These will be big sing-alongs. Can we have a slow dance?

Not us, but slow dancing and courage. Find a lover and have a slow dance. Find a lover. Find a lover. Bring a lover. Find a lover. Oh, side dance. Find a lover. Find a lover. Bring a lover. Find a lover. Oh, no. Get out right now.

Oh, yeah. It's Jojo. Get out right now. It's the end of you and me. Yes. Jojo is coming to New Zealand. I think this will be her first ever show in New Zealand. I believe so, yes.

It feels like, because Jojo's like my age, but it feels like she's been around for so long because she was so young when that song came out. Yeah, she was 13, 14 when Leave Get Out, yeah. This is going to be so good. He's got to be a billionaire by now. You'd hope so. Travi McCoy.

Okay, this is a blaster in the past. Gym class heroes, Travie McCoy. And I think we met him like 10 years ago and he's pretty tall. Dude, it's way longer than 10 years ago. Don't make yourselves feel old. We've been working here for 10 years. It was like 2006. Oh my God, was it? Yes.

But if it feels like 10 years ago, Grandad, I think it's time we got you to bed. It does. He's so tall, too. Very tall boy. He is so beautiful. And talented. Rounding out the lineup, Baby Bash, Havana Brown. And hosted by the one and only Fat Man Scoop.

Well, that is the line-up. Friday's live, and to reiterate, it's the 16th of November. It's a Thursday at Spark Arena. Now, with that line-up, as we've seen before, it's going to sell out. And with that line-up, I reckon it's worth a day off work on Friday. I think we will need a day off work on Friday. Can we talk to... Ross Boss?

I was going to say the Prime Minister about making that a public holiday. Yeah. We'll have a word. We'll have a word. So, Jason Derulo headlining, Boys to Men, Flo Rida, Kelly Rowland, JoJo, Travi McCoy, Baby Bash, and more. Now, tickets on sale 11am September 12.

Someone just messaged saying, yes, I'm not pregnant this year. Last year I was so sad. You can go to ZM online for all the details. ZM and on our Facebook and Instagram, we'll have another chance for you to win tickets. Comment to win. We do have the first double pass to Friday's Live, which is happening in November.

If you would like to win that, first caller through right now gets it. Billboard. 0800-DIAL-ZM. And plus, tomorrow on the show, we're going to speak to Jojo. No biggie. No biggie. Leave, get out, Jojo. Get out right now. No, Vicky. No, Vicky. Leave, get out, Jojo. Get out right now.

On the show tomorrow. I just yelled billboard because the line-up was already on the billboard outside our window. There you go. We're not mucking around, mate. She's quick. She's quick. Play it.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Chase, congratulations. First call of three, first tickets to Friday's Live. Woo-hoo! Yes. Thank you so much. We'll see you there. Who on the line-up are you looking forward to the most?

I don't know if it's Boyz II Men or Jason Derulo or Trevi. I mean, do you take mum to Boyz II Men or the missus to Trevi McCoy and Jason Derulo? I keep my missus the hell away from Trevi McCoy. I take mum. I take mum because yeah, there's less chance of...

Yeah, I enjoy all the details, ZM Online, and second chances as well to win ZM Online on Instagram and Facebook. Project Swifty. Oh, and it's Hayley's version, of course. Oh, my God, you guys. Oh, my God, you guys. Nizza, you have been tasked with writing a Hayley's version. I have been.

It's been a real hot minute. But the girlies tasked me with this. And do you know what? It kind of had a double effect on me. Because not only did I have to run through all of her eras and learn about them. And now I feel like I know quite a lot as a Swiftie. But also I had to listen to almost every Taylor Swift song to find a song that I could sing.

I was like, oh, I'll sing this one. And then she's like, I was like, okay, no, can't reach that note. What about that? Oh, this one's easy. I was like, oh, no, so can't do that. Literally, there was one song that I could sing. And so you're going to change the lyrics

to the song to encompass all of her errors. All of her errors, of which there are a number. So let's just get into it. I don't know how you do this, by the way. Like every time you do a Hayley's version, it's never pre-recorded. You always do it live. I know. You read the words from the screen. Sharon's been saying all morning, what are we using for the background? What's happening? Can you send it to me?

And you're like, yep. And then like 15 minutes ago you were like, da-da-da, singing to yourself. I was like, oh yeah,

just finishing touches. Yeah, so how's this gonna go? Well, because I'm writing a song about an artist who has made so many albums. I couldn't leave any of them out

or the Swifties would have rioted. So here's my version of Look What You Made Me Do, the only Taylor Swift song I can sing. And this is me recounting all of her eras. Yep. Thanks to the Swifties who gave me this seminar on the eras.

Buckle in. Blonde girl with a country flair and lots of curly hair. Debut is on the air and it's fine if you like a Christian vibe. Then her next album it hits while she's dating Joe Jonas That album was fearless And she won for best album But then Kanye West showed her up at the VMAs He thought Beyonce was better and so he stormed the stage And we can all never forget the look on Taylor's face

When he said, I'ma let you finish, Tay. Oh, ooh, you hear the audience boo. Like, what did he just do? Like, what the hell is effing Kanye West actually up to? You need to calm down, dude. Yeah, single ladies ruled, but so was Taylor's video love story was good too then next came speak now this third I don't know this one that well but she wrote it all herself and it called John Mayer out what cuz I hear he was inappropriate given her age so she broke up with him and put her feelings on a page ten years on she'll write about him again. Cause nothing sparks a Taylor hit like disappointing men. And then we move on to an album that I actually know.

One of the tracks on Rent went viral due to Screaming Goats. And now Jake Gyllenhaal inspired all the songs she wrote. Jake, you are never ever getting back together, bro. Hi. Her next era is fine. It's 1989, which makes me realize that we were born at the same time. But where are her frown lines? Because you can see all mine.

She probably wears sunscreen and drinks far less fizzy wine. Suddenly there is a reptile on stage. It's Carmen Can Kanye West called Taylor Swift on Snake. Reputation also was the last for Scooter Braun. And from what I know, we don't like Scooter Braun. No, finally she parted ways with that awful dude. And the next era looks like a unicorn spewed. Lover Aerie sadly got nipped in the bud because COVID-19 really effed things up. We're getting through these eras. This is the iconic moment of the song. I'm sorry. Hayley can't come to the phone right now. Why? Because she has to write a song in a night. Oh, ooh, there's still more to get through. There's three more we could do. There's three more eras that I have to cover

in this tune. And Folklore is just one with hits on Cardigan and then released evermore, which was its sister album. The last era is here. It was released last year. The midnight era hits, we always play them all on air. And now she's on tour. So listen, 8 and 12 and 4 because her tickets sold out but ZM still has more. Oh my god.

There was no repeating chorus. Highlight what you have written down and word count that for me. The information that you just got across in that time was outstanding. Okay. And not a single mistake.

There was a little trippy up there. That's right. A little trippy up there is not a mistake. Tolls, word count. I have just given you 500 words on Taylor Swift's eras. None of them were missing out. Girls, did I miss any?

Four marks? Did you get four marks? Like 1,000 out of 100. I could cry. I'm so proud. And now I know it all. And I also know that Taylor Swift has a higher singing range than me. And that's the oldest song I can sing.

Does that make Hayley a Swifty now, officially? Yeah, I say it does. You've done so good. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Welcome to Wind Week. Well, Wind Week, yeah. It's a short week, but it's Wind Week.

Sponsored by Meridian. No. Didn't we say Palmerston North? Oh, Palmerston North. That's right. It's got us. And we know there's wind turbines elsewhere, but we just thought Palmerston North needed a bit of a legal. Went through that whole Spanish debacle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they needed a little bit of a... They did a whole Spanish debacle.

Yeah, they needed a little bit of a leaguer. They went on to win, didn't they, the Spanish women's football team? So that's a double slap in the face for Palmerston North. I mean, it's good for them. It's obviously a great training base. No, it showed that it was a good spot to be at the start of the tournament, kept them grounded early. Well, this pilot

who put forward this win fact has also asked for anonymity. Okay. So I said, well, I'm inventing a pilot alias, Green Squadron Leader Gil Worthington. Okay. Okay, right. World War II fighter race. Okay.

Saw Germany many times but never stopped there. Wow. Wow. Incredible. Yeah, so he knows his wins. And still alive. Alive and kicking. Yeah, Wow. Incredible. Yeah, so he knows his winds. And still alive. Alive and kicking. Yeah, wow.

Incredible. Hey, Vaughn, wind facts from a pilot. Did you know that the jet streams always go from west to east, which is why flight times will always be longer in one direction? For example. Yes. Always longer coming back from America to New Zealand, right? Correct.

But shorter coming back from Melbourne. Correct. Yes. Melbourne. Correct. Yes. Yeah. Correct. Because you're going, both of those follow his fact, the jet stream goes west to east. Yeah.

So Auckland to New York, eastbound tailwinds will take you 16 hours, 15 minutes, thereabouts. New York to Auckland, so the same way back, interhead winds and jet streams, 17 and a half hours to Auckland, so the same way back, into Headwinds and Jetstreams, 17 and a half hours with the possibility of adding another one hour 20 if the Jetstream's up. Wow, okay. Hour 20?

Yeah, adding over that long. So it's, you know, a good chunk of it. Auckland to Melbourne, into the Headwinds, four hours 20, on the way home, three hours 40. He goes on to say, I've seen jet streams over 200 knots, which can increase our ground speed by 30%. Oh yeah, like when you're going

and you get there super early. Usually sitting at about 600 knots, which roughly translates into 600 miles an hour, which is like a thousand, but I can increase it by more because you've got such a hefty tailwind. Which if you sit in the jet stream that often runs between Melbourne and Auckland, you can shave 30% off your flight time.

That will be us hungover in a few weeks, babes. Thank God. Thank God. Hope the jet stream's going for you that day. Yeah, same. Yeah. Then I think breaking strict RAF, World War II fighter pilot protocol, sent me a picture. No, it's in Flightradar.

You can see whereabouts the jet streams are. We love that app, don't we? Oh, I don't use it. It's a great app. So I said, does it burn more fuel heading into the jet stream, like going against it?

I would say yes, right? But he said only because you're in the air for longer. Oh, so not because you're fighting against resistance? Not that you're fighting against, no. Which kind of blew my mind. Yes, same. Because I just thought you would need to fight it so much harder. But he's like, no, it's the same.

We keep basically like keeping it at the same revs. Yeah. But it just takes so much longer and that's where you burn more fuel. Right. Over time, not at the moment. Because my instinct would be to put the foot on the gas. Same, hard and fast. Like, I just want to get home.

Let's get home. Let's get home. Sure, it burns more gas, but we'll get there quicker. Yeah, it's not my gas. Not my gas either. Kind of a sub fact. Yeah. A 787 usually burns about 5,000 kilograms of fuel,

five tons of fuel an hour. God, I hope they've got a, do they use coupons from the supermarket when they fill up? Because you can get like two cents, four cents. Yesterday I got six cents a litre. Yeah. Oh, I got a Costco. Yeah, it's huge.

I've never seen a 787 at Costco. I have not seen a 787 at Costco. No, they're too tight. I struggle to get, because there's always a line. So an extra flight time is around 40 to 50 passengers worth of weight. Right.

Because of the gap, because of the fuel. Yeah. Isn't that fascinating? Great fact. What would happen, maybe I could, I want to try something different tomorrow

for the last wind week fact. Okay, yeah, wind week. But I was just thinking like, what would happen if the jet streams changed? How would they change? What do you mean? Because it's about the rotation of the Earth. What would happen if the worth started spinning the other way?

Mercury and retrograde could do it. If you were going to Europe for one of these Europe Girl Summers. It'd be quicker to go with the jet stream. So you're best to go through America on the way to Europe and then come back the other way. And it's probably better for the environment. Jet lag as well?

Oh, don't know. Don't know. I don't have an answer to that one. Maybe World War II fighter pilot and leader of the Green Squadron. Fantastic. He's got a nice name. Gil Worthington, World War II fighter race, who saw Germany many times but never stopped there,

could let us know about that. That would be fantastic. Great fact for win week. I like this. This is great. I'm loving win week. Are we going to have a week next week? Yeah, I hope so.

I know it makes it much harder for you to theme a week. But sometimes it doesn't. Then you can specifically search about something. Why don't we do octopus week next week? You know I love an octopus. I know you do. We could put up a box. I'm on a bit of a honey badger buzzer.

Oh, yes, that's a good idea. We could do honey badger buzzer. I'm on a bit of a honey badger buzzer. You are. Okay, let's do honey badger week next week. Okay, we could do honey badger. Can we dress up like honey badgers every day? Uh-huh.

Black and white only. Yeah. Well, just kind of us generally. What are we wearing anyway? That works. It's all about the attitude of the honey badger. Yes. So today's fact of the day is the jet stream always goes west to east,

and that's why it's quicker to fly that direction in a plane than against it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now I receive a lot of DMs in the inbox to be honest Some of them we'll never be able to read out We'll never be able to say But sometimes it's a girlie looking for a little advice from us. And I've brought it to us. She says, hey fam,

I know you guys do these things, so I'm looking for a little bit of advice. My partner and I have been together for eight months and we're absolutely in love. Hot. Yep. It's going great, but the other day I found my partner recently subscribed to a girls only fans account. It's going great, but the other day I found my partner recently subscribed to a girls-only fans account. It's not going great then.

Hang on. This is not my definition of going great. It's just one account and he's been subscribed for about a month now. It's just this one woman that he seems fascinated with. One? Let's get all the information out before we cast our judgment. He seems to be really paying money to one specific woman for seeing bits. Yes.

Neither of us know this person in real life. I don't usually mind partners of mine watching that type of content online. But for some reason, OnlyFans feels a little more personal to me. Question is, do you think this is a form of cheating? Or is it no different to watching other adult online content? Help me. Is the OnlyFans model in New Zealand, like in the same town?

Doesn't, she doesn't say. We don't know this. She was like, neither of us know this yet. Yeah. Well, they know. She said that they don't know them. So, you know. Right, okay.

And OnlyFans is not, it's not a dating app. Right? Like it's not there for people to message the content creators and go, hey, I want a bit of that. Everybody has their own opinion on whether they like their partner looking at this kind of stuff, don't they? Yeah, and my opinion has always been I couldn't care less. In fact, I love a little healthy sexual, you know, attitude.

I've never had a problem with that. But yet some people, if they even knew that their partner was looking at it, would flip out. It would be like, you're cheating. Yeah, I get that the OnlyFans element of it makes it. Because can you engage with people on OnlyFans? Genuinely, none of us have it. That's what you're paying for, isn't it?

No, it's just personal content. No, but if you pay, don't you get like the more you pay, you get better stuff? I don't know. Well, literally none of us have that. I just assume it's like video games. If you pay more, you get better stuff. You get more. And have purchases.

Right, yeah. Deluxe editions and such. Yeah. Or maybe you can because everyone. Limited edition skins. Or more skins. More skin. Okay, so here's Google.

DMs or direct messages on OnlyFans give you the power to connect with your fans on a deeper level. So the option of sending images, audio and videos, the possibilities are endless. Yeah, so you can, it's more than, it can be more than just looking. But you'd have to pay more. They're not there to find a new boyfriend or husband.

They're there to make money. Yeah. I mean, we've already got some messages and I think we should get some more. Well, this is what she wants. She wants help, right?

Some help. So someone's messaging saying this happened to me, found an OnlyFans account, but he was only subscribed to girls he knew. Okay, that's worse.

That's even worse. That's worse. And then she does reiterate she found out he'd been cheating on her for four months. So, you know. Right, okay, yeah. Just like that.

Yeah, I didn't subscribe to, I don't even, do I know anyone with an OnlyFans account? I don't even know people with that. Do I? Well, they probably wouldn't tell you because you've got a big mouth. I'm very supportive.

But it's just. Oh, yeah, you are supportive. I buy raffle tickets and such. Yeah. But following your friends, oh, yeah, I mean, I guess it's supporting them, isn't it? Yeah.

This is my cheap ass speaking. Yeah, yeah. But mean, I guess it's supporting them, isn't it? This is my cheap-ass speaking, but paying for it? So another message, just to get the ball rolling, yes, it is a form of cheating. If my partner had to pay for a subscription like that, then it's a big red flag. Why do you pay when you can just get it for free on other websites of the intention? But is that also like saying,

that's your maths and OnlyFans, there's actually free sites for it. But to be Devil's Avocado on the fridge, isn't that like saying, why are you paying for Netflix? Because you could find, you could just YouTube. But you can't engage with the actor on Netflix in the film. Yeah. She's like, she said. You're not getting one-on-one special treats

from Chris Hemsworth when you watch, when you watch what's that called? Extraction. She says, I'm all good for having time to self-relieve every now and then when you watch when you watch what's that called extraction she says I'm all good for having time to self relieve every now and then

whatever means you want to do it but paying for it let's see what the nation thinks I love the cheap I love the two elements to it

the morally bit but the cheap ass bit absolutely gets me up you're paying for that 0800 DALSATEM we want to know what you think and we want to know

what advice we should I guess come to as a country. For our listener, is her partner having an OnlyFans subscription to one OnlyFans creator, considered cheating? Or is it a big problem? Or do you think, you know, you're allowed to do that as long as you don't cross the line and sleep with this person?

Have you been in this situation? What do you recommend? Quite a saucy message you received. I know. God, I love my wife. I'd be livid if you paid for OnlyFans, but only because you're paying for it. We are a couple of tight asses.

Wow. Going over our budget. So if OnlyFans was free, if OnlyFans was free, you should be down with it. I doubt it. Well, that's just your websites. Yeah.

If it's free. You down with those? She's OPP, man. You know me. I don't think OPP stands for what you think it stands for. She's down with the sickness. The question is, we're getting distracted. The question is, the advice.

She's been dating this person. They're in love. He's got an OnlyFans subscription. Is it cheating? Is this a red flag? How should I feel about this? Call's coming in. Rochelle, what do you think?

I think it depends. Like, if they are already, like, I guess, a Lana Rose type figure. I don't know who that is. Hang on, we're doing a Google. What's that? Hold on. Who's a who?

Oh, yes, I remember her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh doing a Google What's that? Hold on who's a who? Oh yes I remember her Oh she's the one that broke up with her boyfriend Huge No A huge corn star Huge Yeah But if they are already like

In the public eye like that And already have like free Like say if you watch a video on YouTube And if you want more content Then YouTube and they've got a picture and if you want more content, then you've got to pay, if that makes sense. So you're going if it's free and you're just on the subscription. Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah, so as long as it's not too intimate and that it's someone you could know and could possibly meet and you're not paying the extra bits to talk to them, then it's fine. Yeah, definitely. Okay. Yeah, I agree with you. You just need to make it's fine. Yeah, definitely. Okay. I agree with you. They just need to make money, so.

Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah. Nice take. We're in a cost of living crisis. There's free stuff online. Yeah. Calm down, everybody. Calm down.

Budget advice with Uncle Fletch. Wow, we're getting some messages through. Some strong opinions on whether or not our listener's boyfriend having an OnlyFans subscription is a big problem or not. You might be wondering what OnlyFans is. It's for adults, but it's only because they make fans. Yes. And it really takes off in summer.

Yeah. And it's them folding up, showing you different ways to fold up paper to get the most out of the paper so you can fan yourself to keep yourself cool. It's like Cameo, but less clothes. I didn't know that OnlyFans wasn't an app. It's a website. Well, now I'm not going to get it.

What about OnlyFans? Surely there's an OnlyFans creator app. Surely. So is it cheating? Is the boyfriend having an OnlyFans subscription cheating? Vicky, what do you think? You're a relationship therapist. Oh.

Yes, I am. My opinion is that relationships come down to communication and trust. Wait a minute. We're not paying for this, are we? No. Our cost is $100 already. We're getting a freebie. We're getting a freebie.

I like this. Sometimes when Aaron and I... Sometimes I find Aaron is... So what did you say? Communication. And trust Yes So at the end of the day

It's not about him paying or anything like that It's like did they have a conversation about Their boundaries beforehand Some people have open relationships They swing and they don't regard that as cheating Because they're talking together About what they're comfortable with Sounds like obviously

They've never had a conversation about their boundaries in regards to if he should have an OnlyFans, you know, liking people on Instagram is like a boundary breaking either. So it's like there probably wasn't a conversation in regards to her being okay with that. And that's

why it's caused this confusion about how she should feel about it. So liking a hot model's photo on Instagram is not cheating if you've had a conversation with your partner to ask if it's all right to like hot models on Instagram. Is that right? Yeah. Okay, good. Wow. God, I don't ask Aaron anything.

You just like away. I'm DMing, I'm following, I'm liking, I'm just slip sliding all over that app. Vicky, thanks. You're called James. James, what do you think? Yeah, so I'm a photographer. Basically full-time taking photos of Westerners, models, only fans, that sort of thing.

So you're getting it for free. Wait, sorry. Hang on, he's a professional. He's actually getting paid. Your phone was a bit muffled. You're a full-time photographer taking only fans' photos. Yeah, correct. Sexy little photo shoots.

Interesting. Yeah, I get to see the other side of it. So I get to talk to the girls probably a bit more than people do in DMs. Yeah. And it's interesting the way that they will lure someone in to make a sale. There are sales, that's the thing, right? It's a money-making platform. Yeah, they're a salesperson for their own bits.

So these, when you talk about that, when you mention the DM messages, which it sounds like this girl had a problem with, because, you know, there is a way to contact this model. Yes. They're only talking to these people model. Yes. They're only talking to these people to make money. They're not after anything like...

Physical. That's right. So the girls don't want anything afterwards apart from the money. You know, they can't be bothered with the conversations.

They can't be bothered with anything else. They just want to click and collect. Wait, so they don't love me? This is cool. No, no. No, we've got a real connection.

Actually, James, we've got a real connection. And, you know... For the guy's point of view, they think it is a real connection. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of the time. What you know about that, do you see how people fall for online scams

where they think they're in a relationship with like a minor celebrity? Yeah, totally. It's all what you see, not, you know, what's actually happening. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's all what you see, not what's actually happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. You're just kind of wanting it and you sell yourself on the story side of it, I guess.

So from a view from another partner's point of view, I deem it as cheating. I'm just on the lucky side that I get to do it as a job. Yeah, right. Well, yeah. Do you have a partner? Yeah. And do you, what's that chat like?

Today I'm going to go photograph some boobies. She's a full-time assistant, so she comes along. Oh, that's nice. She's not letting you out of here, sorry. Good girl.

She's got the light on there, man, on you. How many New Zealand only fan creators do you think there are from where you, I don't want to say where you live or whatever,

but like, you know. There are literally thousands. This is a real Miss Money Making opportunity for me. There's got to be someone who's looking for her. Yeah, what's your unique selling point? From pee. Let it go, sort of thinning woman. Yeah, I'll drop you guys my Insta so you can have a look.

Yeah, I'll do a photo shoot. Okay. Have any of them told you how much money they make, like, per month? Yeah, so the girls just starting out is low volume. Like, they might only be a couple hundred a month, but the other ones are sitting up in the thousands. So they are the ones that are affording photo shoots every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks?

This is fascinating stuff. I know we're running out of time. We are every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks? Do they come in? This is fascinating stuff. I know we're running out of time. We are running out of time. Do they come in with like a list of requests that the higher payers have said, I want you to take a photo doing this, and then you take it? Yeah, there's some odd requests,

but it's all based on how much are they willing to pay for the shoot, you know? Yeah, dude. So fascinating. So fascinating. James, thank know? Yeah, dude. So fascinating. So fascinating. James, thank you so much for sharing. If we had to summarise messages in... Well, I would say the majority of messages are from women

and they're not on board with their partners doing this. So it sounds like if you want to do this... If we listen to the expert, our relationship therapist... Communication. Communication. Because they might say yes. Or is it better to ask forgiveness than seek permission? I mean, I don't know.

I always say that, but I never mean it. Yeah, neither. See you, see you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Kato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action,

that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars. Yeah stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.