ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 31st May 2023

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Hello. Hayley joining us from her Airbnb.

Fresh from the shower. Yeah, while she films the great New Zealand cooking Kiwi. We don't cook Kiwis. Biscuits, cakes and breads. Breads. Do you do breads on the show? On the Great Kiwi Bake Off? I will tell you, today is the start of Bread Week. Oh, okay.

Bread Week. We look forward to this week every year. I couldn't do what, this would be so hard because every day there'd be treats and you have to eat them. Yeah. And you're doing this for three weeks. Oh, too much. Yeah.

Every day this cheer creaks louder and louder underneath my butt and I don't care. I'm enjoying myself. The top six is coming up on the show. Air New Zealand are weighing people. Yeah. The top six things to say just as you hop off the scales for today's top six is coming up on the show. Air New Zealand are weighing people. Yeah. The top six things to say just as you hop off the scales. What are those top six?

It's completely anonymous. It's like a random survey that they have to do every few years. It's like regulation. Yes. And so if you're travelling internationally, they may just say, hey. Could you just jump on here? Because they want to get the average weight of the passengers. Yes, which is very important for the safety of flying.

Correct. Because I think there have been plane crashes in the past, not in New Zealand, but overseas. Because, you know, I love air crash investigation. You do. On Nat Geo. It's one of my favourite programs. And there have been accidents when plane loads haven't been calculated correctly.

Correct. And they've crashed. Too heavy. Too heavy. Yeah. And earlier, RIP, that was an overloaded plane. It was. That was an overloaded, an incorrectly loaded plane.

We lost her in the Bahamas in 2001. Can you say no? Because I will say no. Yes, you can absolutely say no. Oh, right. Right? I think you can say no, yeah. Yeah, it's completely voluntary.

Yeah. So it doesn't show your weight, though. Oh, okay. Not even the staff know, apparently. They just click, like, go or something. Oh, right. So it doesn't, like, pop up on a screen. No.

It's not like when you do a bungee jump and they write the weight on your hand. And red pen. And you're like, red? No! Write it in green! You're like, I've got my cell phone in my pocket. Obviously, it's way heavier now.

Yeah. Well, you've got to tell you that you don't want a bungee jump with your cell phone in your pocket, do you? No. Well, that's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though, a dog. I don't have a dog. Bourne, you've got eight dogs. 12,000 dogs.

You've got three dogs, one of them barely hanging on. Well, you'd think, but there she is. Well, a dog trainer has revealed the one word you should never say to a dog. Oh. I guess this would be more come in handy when you've just got a dog and you're training it. Right. Is it walkies? Yeah, right.

Walkies? Walkies? Walkies? Walkies? You're probably making some dogs go quite excited now at the radio. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, dog owners. Listen up.

Listen up. Hey, hey, hey. A dog trainer has said the one common one-word command that he would never, ever use. Attack. It's okay. Oh, why? I'm confused. Like, would you ever say that to a dog?

Okay. Okay. No, I don't think so. Drop it. Well, yeah, so that's what he's saying. So using the word okay confuses dogs and makes them stop performing tasks. Instead, use a more specific command like release or free or drop it or drop. Drop.

Drop. Okay. Stop, drop, and roll. But then okay is. When someone asks. Yeah, no. I don't think. And not purposely, but I just don't think I've ever said okay to a dog.

Okay to a dog. It's just he's saying it's a word that comes quite naturally and that humans use a lot. I say it to children. Okay. Like, that's it. That's the end of it. I don't want to hear any more. You'd never say that to the dog when you've had enough of the dog?

I don't think so. No. Well, yeah, that's the word. Oh. Okay. No. No. I mean, just get a cat.

A lot easier. Yeah them yes just say anything you're gonna go like and they're like they love it and they're into it they love it they love it they're dumb they're dumb as man they're super dumb yeah this is the one like when i because i keep thinking i want a dog yeah and then if you go up to a dog owner and they've got a puppy or something, and you're like, oh, my God, I always say, how's it going? Like, how is it?

And they're like, oh, it's tough. Yeah, puppies are tough. I don't want to do that. But you've got to put work in when they're a puppy so it's better in the end game. Right. Like a kid, you've got to teach them to be cool. You can tell people when they haven't put the effort in in the early stages.

To their kids? And their dogs. Kids and their dogs, yeah. You should probably have to do some sort of dog course before they let you have children. Raise a dog. You should have to have had a dog. Yeah, and then they see how that's going

before they give you the tick for the next one, you know? Makes sense. Cats are easy, eh? Cats are so easy. So easy. So easy. Next on the show. Says the guy with the destroyed couch because he won't discipline his puss.

Oh, no, but it's cute. It's cute. It's cute. It's rustic. It's cute. It's not cute. He's a wild tiger. Yeah, he's a rustic wild cat.

I can't stop him eating the couch. Give him a spray on the face and a kick up the ass. No, but he loves water. Okay, there's a problem. Give them a spray on the face and a kick up the ass. Nobody loves water. Okay, there's a problem. There's a problem. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Pole today, if you borrow your friend's outfit, is it okay to post pictures in it? Do you have a borrowed outfit? This is a real girls thing today, why not? Girls, girls, girls.

Do you guys ever share clothes? Girls, girls, girls. Nah. guys ever share clothes? Girls, girls, girls. Nah. Nah? Not even like suits or anything? Even when you've gone overseas together or travelled together, have you ever said, oh, I need to borrow a pair of undies? No.

Definitely not. Oh, God, no. Go commando overseas. Yeah, you don't put your jennies. How very European. In someone else's undies. Oh, really? Mm.

Well, somebody else's partner. Those are the rules, isn't it? Those are the... That's the bro code. Yeah. Yeah, it is the bro code. It's the ho code as well. Yeah.

And don't put them anywhere crazy. Yeah. Other people's undies, other people's partners, or anywhere crazy. I've shared undies with Carween. So to speak. Little, um...

What? So to speak. She's bobbling her head. Little short speak, little shorties. Me and Karween are both big fans of a little set of slim shorts under a dress. Oh, right. Okay. And we were in Wellington and it was bloody hot and I lent Carween a pair of me chub rub shorts. Your chub rub shorts. And did you give them

back? Yeah, absolutely. Washed. Did you post a picture in her chub rub shorts? Yeah. Okay, well you've actually broken the rules because 97% of people, oh no, actually you're on the side. Yes, who cares? 97% of people. 3% of people said no way

should you post a picture in someone else's outfit. Is it because you'll get all the praise? You're flaunting their outfit. They paid for it and yet you're getting all the praise. Yeah. I don't mind if I lend clothes, because I've always lent clothes to my friends, because I'm extremely fashionable, as you can see. Fashion is your passion.

It's my passion. I've got a passion for fashion. Haven't you been wearing that Les Miserables sweatshirt every morning for the last week? I washed it, though, two days ago. So we're good. We're good. There's a few spaghetti stains on there, wasn't there? Yeah, there really was.

And I don't mind, but it does irk me somewhat when my friend looks better in it than me. So that's another thing you're right. And you know it, too. Like, you'll be like, oh, my God, can I borrow this? You'll be like, absolutely. They put it on. And you know it too. Like you'll be like, oh my God, they'll go, oh, can I borrow this? You'll be like, absolutely. They put it on, you're like, ugh. Would you ever be like, keep it.

I don't want it back. You keep it. Sometimes, yeah, you've tainted my relationship with that. Right. So producers, if you lent an item of clothing to friends and they posted it online, would you be upset?

Nah. Go ahead. If I paid for it, we can share it. As long as I can do the same. Right. Or borrow some of her clothes. Yeah. Shannon, you'd be the same? Yeah, absolutely. If she looks good, she looks great. The whole thing is

though. I don't believe that. I didn't believe, I didn't buy that. Oh, do you reckon I'm a bit shady? You know the tone you used was like, I've heard that so many times in my life. What's wrong? Nothing. No, I'm fine. I was of that same tone. Yeah. Nah, I'm heard that so many times in my life. What's wrong? Nothing. No, I'm fine. It was of that same tone. Yeah. No, I'm all for it.

The only thing is just give it back. My game is that tone. I don't believe it. My lady alarms are going off. Your lady bits are tingling. My spidey, I'm getting a spidey sense that all is not well in the lady kingdom. Try again.

Try to change your tone. It's fine. No. No. That to change your tone. It's fine. No, no. That went the other way. I got a tsunami alert with that one. Yeah, yeah. A bit of trouble. Well, the message is in from...

Jim has said, yes, totally, as long as you have permission to borrow it. That's another thing I'd like to ask. If you borrow clothes as a lady, how long do you hold on to them? You just have to keep me updated. Right. You know, like,

so you go, oh, can I borrow this for an event? Yeah. Yeah, totally. The events, let's say the events on a weekend and you bring it into work or wherever you're going to stay,

on a Friday, when are you expecting that dress back? Well, if they want to wear it more than once, yeah, laundered. Laundered by Wednesday. If they want to wear it more than once, though, they can say, oh, can I just hold on to it for a little bit? I've got another thing coming up.

I just shipped down four very expensive dresses to my bestie in Wellington. Oh, wow. Who pays the postage in this situation? Me. God, you're so generous as a friend. The only thing I can relate to this in any way is going back to the 2000s when you would loan DVDs to people and box sets

of TV shows and then you'd never see them again. No, they're not coming back. You'd never see them again. Fletcher had an Excel spreadsheet. I had to have a spreadsheet because I had such an exhaustive DVD collection. Don't they say that you need to take a photo of your friend with it or like in the clothes and be like, right, you've got that.

And then it's in your camera roll. Yeah, yeah, right. Right, T.O. Jaunty said, surely not your mates. Surely they're not your mates if they cared. Yeah. But they're letting you borrow the thing, Jaunty. Jaunty, Jaunty.

Ange says, why would you not? They've clearly given it to you on loan. They've not stolen it, so there's no need to hide evidence. Yeah, but what if they look really great? It's kind of just rubbing it in their face. I'm really surprised this is so one-sided. Yeah. Do you have no shame?

Do you guys want to borrow some of my clothes? It's the radio awards tomorrow. Well, I've sent all my nice frocks down to Wellington, though, haven't I? No, I'm going to go and buy myself a nice Charmander T-shirt for that awards ceremony, only because people said I shouldn't. And the minute they said, you can't do that, I said, well, now I have to. Oh, such a nerd. Good Lord, I'm happy I'm not coming.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, this is not me, but I will be the messenger. And I will remind you of the old adage. Shoot the messenger. Don't shoot. When the messenger walks in, guns ablaze him. Cancel the messenger. I have what plays a key role in the perceived attractiveness.

Oh, he's... Wow, he's getting a little hot under the collar of a hero. He got close to the B word and he got a bit flustered. The what plays a key role in the perceived attractiveness of... He can't do it. He can't do it. What plays the key role in the perceived attractiveness of female... breasts? Oh, okay.

Is it the nipple? Is it the size? Love a nipple. Sure. Love a n the size sure apparently it is the upper pole fullness which is the volume and roundness of the upper portion of the breast so that's the first thing that goes the cleavage yeah the cleavage yeah the cleavage um this cleavage is often caught like you don't boys you don't get cleavage just naturally. Your boobies don't just hang there with cleavage. They'll be talking about like the fullness because the cleavage is from a bra and like the clothes you're wearing.

I'm essentially rubbing my boobs as I'm talking. Yeah, you were getting a full massage there. Because the fullness bit is what stops it being, you know, puppy snouts. Puppy snouts? What the hell is puppy snouts? You know, boobies are like, you know, puppy snouts. Puppy snouts? What the hell is puppy snouts? You know, boobies are like, mine are a bit snouty. You know, when they're like a bit snouty, they sort of go down and flick like a dog snout. Oh, yeah, okay.

Well, I've never heard that called snouty before. Yeah, puppy snouts. So they're saying that the bit above the nipple, that between the, what's this part called again? Clavicle. Declatage. Declatage. Clavicle. Is that the clavicle? And the nipple. Yeah. That between the, what's this part called again? Clavicle. Declatage. Declatage. Clavicle. Is that the clavicle?

And the nip. Yeah. Yeah. Now you don't want it all up there, but they said the fullness up there, the top fullness is what people said was the part that led to the... So you're telling me that at university somewhere, someone was like, let's find out what makes a breast attractive. What part of the breast? It was done for cosmetic surgery purposes.

Oh, right. Because people wanted boob jobs, augmentations, enlargements, etc. Reductions. Yeah. But the cosmetic surgeons wanted to know what people wanted out of it. Oh, yeah. What they wanted them to look like. I don't know.

Better? And they're like, yeah, I know, but what do you like? What do you like? Right. So that was what came out of it. Because they're rounder, right? If you've got more up top, they're rounder. A bit rounder, yeah.

But that's like, that's anti-gravity. Yeah. The bit on top, you're just going's like, that's anti-gravity. Yeah. The bit on top, you're just going, as long as that stays full and up. Yeah. Not from like the age of 18, it just goes. Starts to slide away, doesn't it? Slip sliding away. A bit like balls.

Balls. Yeah, like balls. Gravity will get those in the end too. They will. Yeah, well, gravity gets everything. The nose, the ears, everything that's not like strapped on or internal, you know. It'll start pulling it down. So they basically had over a thousand people

and they were given all of these photos of breasts to which to mark out of five. Lucky bloody bastards, am I right, boys? 2D photographs, so just like straight on. And they said, what's the best rated one? What's the difference? And that was the most common attribute. Right. It's so strange because I feel like, in my experience of a breast owner,

most people who are looking at your breasts, other than in a medical context, they're just happy to see a pair of boobies. I've never been angry to see it. You know, like, no one's ever like, oh, it's a shame you don't have more upper puffiness. Yeah. They're just like, fantastic. They're just like, great. Yeah.

Yeah, wow, this is fun. Guys, easy to please, eh? I just love it. It's still the most popular cosmetic surgery, too. Is it? Yeah, wow, this is fun. Guys, easy to please, eh? I just love it. It's still the most popular cosmetic surgery too. Is it? Yeah, right. Isn't labiaplasty getting up there though? It's up there.

Rhino and labia. So we're fixing our boobies, our noses and our lippies. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hello there. If you're going on a flight soon, Air New Zealand may want to weigh you. Me! International flights.

For safety reasons, we need to know the weight of all items on board the aircraft. The scales will not display the number and it will remain completely anonymous. Yeah, but someone gets the number, don't they? Yeah, but it's not associated with you. And also, like, because my first concern here is I, you know, I'm a bit liberal with the carry-on weight. Yes. Yeah, I push it.

I go, I'm usually a 10. Yeah, same. 10 to 15. Do you think you have to carry your carry-on while you get weighed? Yes, I think you do. That's why they're doing it. They want to know the total. But then, like, if I'm 84 kgs, which I am at the moment, no big deal.

Well done. Thank you. Wow. Worked hard for that. You deserve that. So if I've got a 10 kg bag, that would make me 94. Good maths. Yeah. that. What? And so if I've got a 10kg bag, that would make me 94. Good maths. But then someone else

who's like 94kgs could then have a 7kg bag. That's not fair. Or a tiny person could have a big bag or a big person could have a tiny little bag. Yeah. If you're going to say so then there needs to be an average maximum, you're

discounting everybody who's above that going on a plane. I just can't see that going well for the airline. Imagine a 54-year-old Nana with like 50kgs of carry-on baggage. Try to put it in the overhead. Imagine if there was an airline for people over 100kgs and an airline

for people under 100kgs. Every winter you have to change which airline you fly with. Being in that zone that goes up and down. I've been on flights with smaller planes, and they weigh you before you get on the flight because they just have to know how heavy you are and the bag. Little planes, little planes.

Yeah, totally. I think I'd rather be weighed in that situation than die. Plummet into the ocean. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, same, same. Well, I've got the top six things to say after stepping off scales at the airport when you've been weighed for Air New Zealand. Number six on the list.

Oh, I did drink eight litres of water on the way to the airport. Oh, yeah, same, yeah. I'm flushing. I'm flushing at the moment. I just had an insatiable thirst, and I drank my huge Paul Frank rain. What's his name? Paul Frank. Paul Frank pyjamas.

Yeah. I drank eight litres out of my Paul Frank pyjamas drink bottle. Number five on the list of the top six things to say after stepping off the scales at the airport for Air New Zealand. Oh, hold on. Let me do that again. I'm just going to take my boots off. You still got to take your boots on the plane, though. Yeah.

So that's not going to work. Could you leave it in the corner? Like I do that sometimes. You know how Jets sell Waze bags. I'll put my laptop, I'll plug it in somewhere and just hide it under a seat, then go away my bag. And then I put it back on. Yeah, that's good.

Put it back in the bag. There's a little hack for you. That's a little, yeah. Although if we all did that, the plane would be dangerously overloaded. Yeah, that's good. Put it back in the bag. Classic. There's a little hack for you. That's a little... Yeah, although if we all did that, the plane would be dangerously overloaded. Yeah. I would try to take off and it would be like...

That's how planes work. Number four on the list of the top six things you can say after stepping off the scales at the airport for Air New Zealand. When was this thing last calibrated?

Yeah, yeah. When was it last... When were the batteries last changed? Because my scales are about five kgs out. Growing up, Albert, we'd grow up very, like, wildly unhealthy. But my mum was constantly weighing herself. Really?

Yeah. And when you're a kid and you see your mum constantly weighing yourself, you think, I should be constantly weighing myself. Yeah, right. And it's not. You know, you're growing. You're meant to be putting on weight. You're literally getting to be constantly weighing myself. Yeah, right. And it's not. You know, you're growing. You're meant to be putting on weight. You're literally getting to be a larger human in all dimensions.

You shouldn't be too worried about that. No. But we were constantly doing it. And mum would be like, that thing's a couple of kgs heavy, so take a couple off. You're a kid. One of the, like, before digital ones, eh? And it was, like, the dial thing.

And you stood on it and went, because it was all the dial thing. And you stood on it and went... Because it was all spring related. Yeah. Yep. Great for you. Great for the mental health, that one. Really good.

Number three on the list of the top six things to say after stepping off the scales at the airport for New Zealand. Look, I'm just going to go take a quick poo because I've definitely got one on board and then I'm going to come back and we're going to do this again. That's probably only a couple of hundred grams, though. No, sometimes, though. Sometimes. Sometimes.

It's always when you least expect it. Yeah. Sometimes. Number two on the list, the top six things to say after stepping off the scales at the airport for Air New Zealand. Genetically, we're just heavier boned people because of the potato famine. Of course. And you can insert anything here that genetically your ancestors went through.

We're heavier people because of the Spanish Inquisition. Well, you know I'm 8% or 6% Swedish. It's a lot of pastries. We're heavier people because of the Little Mermaid. Yes. We're heavier people because of all the reindeer meat. Yes, and fish diet. Yes, the fish diet.

Cold fish diet. Yes. Insert here. And number one on the list of the top six things to say after stepping off the scales at the airport for Air New Zealand. I am carrying way more carry-on than I should be. I've got a lot in there. I've got, look, okay,

give me a fine for carrying too much of my carry-on is what I'm saying. Yeah. It's not me. It's not me at all. That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Flet. It's not me at all. That is today's top secret. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. There is a former hotel manager

who has shared on the talk the two items she would never use during a hotel stay. Can I guess the kettle? Is the kettle one of them? Not quite, because you know that people boil their undies in there.

Yeah, I wouldn't do the kettle. Remember when I used to re-put in my hotty water Not quite, because you know that people boil their undies in there. Yeah, I wouldn't do the kettle. Remember when I used to re-put in my hottie water into the jar? Which is wild. And you were slowly plastic poisoning everybody. You're like, why does my coffee taste like rubber? Yeah. Yeah, don't do that.

That was silly. I mean, use it to water your plants or something. Could you do that? Or is that toxic? No, I wouldn't. I'd just tip it in the sink. No, you use other things for plants. Okay. Not quite. One of them is the coffee machine. You know how

lots of places have the pod coffee machines? Yes. Like a little Nespresso machine or something. She's saying that they are very rarely, if at all, cleaned. And a lot of the time that curdled milk gets stuck in the tube. And then when you use it,

that curdled, gross, old milk from, like, months ago is coming out into your coffee. That is why if you're staying somewhere, just pop down the road to show sponsor McCafe. I don't think pods had milk in them. No, you can add... Some of them have, like, a milky thing, a frother. Ah, okay.

I thought that was part of the pod. Nah. Or maybe I'm thinking of a different machine. I'm not really a pod god myself. Neither. I'm not a pod god. I love the planet. The tube in which the milk comes out, she said that will remain in curdles.

So maybe they're like a different thingy. Oh, yeah, okay. Gross. Okay, and then the other thing she said, which was a surprise to me, was you know how some hotels have the mini shampoos? That's all good. But you know how some of them have like on the wall

and you can't move them? Well, it's not. No, the mini shampoos are the not good ones. Yeah, no, but they're so cute and they're perfect for the gym. They're perfect to steal, aren't they? Yeah, they are. But bad for the environment.

Terrible. And that's why a lot of hotels are now screwing them onto the wall of the shower. Yes, well, she said those are the ones you should never use. The reusable. Why? Refillable shampoo things. Because she said as a hotel manager, she's seen them filled with all sorts of things, including, as a prank, Nair, as in the hair

removal depilatory cream. Oh, yeah. What? You're telling me someone goes into a hotel room, fills the shampoo dispenser with hair removal cream? Yeah. Some people are just bad to the bone, you know? So she was like, there's all sorts in there.

People are gross. Never use that. And I'd add the jug to that list as well. Put all sorts in there. People are gross. Never use that. And I'd add the jug to that list as well. I'd put the jug on there. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Oh, this is mankier than I thought. I thought it was going to be like two out of five people don't wash their jeans every week. This is really gross. They're calling it the no-wash movement, where people just don't wash their clothes. Oh, what, for, like, the environment, environmental reasons?

Not so much. There's, in particular, this one is about jeans, right? Which, when I used to work in a high-end fashion store, we had designer jeans, you had to pay quite a lot of money for them. We always advise people that not to wash them too much and like stick them in the freezer and give them a spray and hang them on the line

and stuff, but try not to wash them. Because the more you wash them, the softer they get, the fibres like come apart and then eventually they won't last as long. And also, yeah, like they shrink a lot of it and you're just like, oh. Yeah, you've got to stretch them out and you feel like crap for a day. Oh.

Yeah. And also, like, you're right, it takes away the colour. Yeah. It weakens them, especially like raw denim. I don't wash my jeans that much. And I never, ever have. Don't they smell greasy? No.

Well, I don't really give them a sniff. It doesn't do anything. You don't do anything. I'm not saying you don't do anything that provokes sweat, but you've got, like, work out there. Yeah, exactly. And you wear them to a place and you get them home and you take them off.

Yeah, but your genies. Your hours and jeans isn't a lot. Your genies are still rubbing up against the crotch. No, he's got famously cold genitals, this guy. They never sweat. Famously unsweatable genies. Yeah. Like Prince Andrew, Fletcher's genitals can't sweat.

Jesus Christ, Vaughn. Not a good analogy. This is going to matter. I was like, no, this isn't the right one. We'll just get away from it. This ain't it. There's a guy called Brian Sabo and he said he started this kind of

low wash no wash denim club when he bought a pair of raw denim jeans have you ever had raw denim jeans? what's the difference? raw denim I watched a thing about this what was it?

it was about how insane how much water and how much pollution and everything denim costs you make them and then they literally I was like, what was it? And it was about how insane and how much water and how much pollution and everything denim costs. It's only here when they prepare it. You make them and then they literally wash them with rocks and stuff to soften it. And it's just using all this water in third world countries. And chemicals. Yeah, and then it just gets flushed into riverways.

And I saw this guy that was like, bought these denim jeans. He's like, these are going to take six months before they're comfortable. I'm like, darling, we don't know if we'll go six months. Maybe this is this guy. Because he said, so he wore his raw denim jeans for about a year. And he was like, you can't wash them. You have to soften them by wearing them, not washing them.

And I was like, okay, it makes sense. I've once put on a pair of raw denim jeans and I was like, absolutely not. Not for me. I've got a squishy thigh. She needs a stretch. She needs some softness. The gross bit, right? So you're kind of like, okay, I see why you're doing it.

The gross bit, he was like, these absolutely stunk. And he said he became known for being the guy with stinky jeans. I want to be known for being a nice person. But what about the freezer? Could he do the freezer thing? Does that work? Yeah, it does work a little. Yeah, it kills some of the bacteria.

He said you would walk into my room, and even if my jeans were on a pile on the floor or in a drawer, you could smell them. Why wear jeans then? If they're going to be such a horrible discomfort that you can't wash, that you're going to wear raw. Let's not normalise track pants in the club. What is the most environmentally friendly?

I bet it's wool. I bet it's wool. Or it could be Lululemon pants. Are you kidding me? That does not scream. Spandex doesn't scream to me. God, the environment's going to love this when I'm done with this. No.

It's going to be hemp. So he actually runs a competition. He runs a competition where people, yeah, it'll be hemp. Whoa. He runs a competition where people delay the first wash of their jeans until they've been worn at least 200 times. Wow. And he said you wouldn't want to handle them too up close. They probably smell all gross.

Because you do, like, you shed skin, you do sweat. Like, you don't have to be dripping sweat to be sweating. He said if you were in a tight elevator with some of these people, you'd be able to smell them. That's manky. Okay, that's manky. Most sustainable clothing, natural substance. Vegan.

This is in the vegan category. Yep. Organic cotton, recycled cotton, hemp linen, bamboo linen, and cork. But you know, sometimes you wear, like, you see T-shirts that are, like, organic cotton, and they just bamboo linen, and cork. But you know sometimes you see t-shirts that are like organic cotton and they just don't feel like they'll last. Oh my God, organic cotton's the best. But then when they're done, they won't last in the environment forever and ever. They'll kind of go.

And then they said animal products, non-vegan. I think this is a vegan-y website, so they're like reluctantly mentioning. Get off. Sheep wool, alpaca wool, cashmere, camel. I'd wear camel. I think I'd look good in it. I think you'd look good in a camel. You've got the right skin tone, mate. I think I'd look good in camel.

Yak wool, wood wear. Vegetable tanned leather. Down and silk. Well, there you go. If you want to stop your manky jeans from smelling, go organic. Wear silk pants instead, there you go. If you want to stop your manky jeans from smelling, go organic. Wear silk pants instead. And some camel. Easy.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's Extreme Homepage Makeover. Extreme Homepage Makeover. We asked you on Instagram last night to screenshot the front page of your phone, your homepage, if you're in need of a makeover. And we do a little bit of phone shway. And rearrange it. There you go.

Oh, my God, he just received today's recipient's screenshots. It's a mess. Do you think it's a mess? It's a mess in here. It's a real unique way to organise the homepage and we welcome Corinda. Good morning. Good morning. Hello.

Welcome to Extreme Homepage Makeover, Corinda. Thank you. Oh my god, Corinda, is that you as a bride? Is that you as a bride? Yeah. Oh my god, you're stunning. How can you see that? It's tiny.

It's up in the corner. Because I've got fantastic vision. Oh, you've just zoomed in, haven't you? You've zoomed in. Oh, my God, you're stunning, Corinda. What a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you. For listeners at home, Corinda, you have your homepage is just a photo.

Is this your partner, your husband? That is my husband. You can nearly see the side of his balls there, Corinda. page is just a photo. Is this your partner, your husband? That is my husband. You can nearly see the side of his balls there, Karinda. We'll say very close to testicles. He's sitting on some steps in the grass. And like you say, not a lot of short there

covering the... You can kind of see where his thigh hair becomes his pube hair. It's kind of like the male version of those Kendall Jenner togs that are just like a... A strip. A strip of material. So that's mostly the homepage is that photo, but then on the very top left-hand corner

there are two folders, and that is where everything is. It's all just tidy and convenient in the corner. Yeah, but then you've got to go into the... Two folders. The two folders, and then you've got to go into the two folders and then you've got to scroll. You look at him when it's locked. When your phone's locked and you tap it

is where you see your main photo and in the other one it's just playing background, you know? Nah. So then these two folders, when you go into the first one, that's everything social media. Yeah. You can personalise them.

Social media, life, admin. It's easy. So I noticed you've got Facebook Messenger, but not Facebook in there. Oh, because I don't use it as much. Can I ask Corinda just a question? Why are you using Signal? What is Signal?

Are you in some kind of underground... Are you in a drug ring? What's happening? Are you doing crime? ring? What's happening? Are you running a... Are you doing crime? Why are you using Signal? You've also got in there Telegram just to keep up with all of Donald Trump's latest thoughts,

I guess. And whereabouts the parliament protesters are moving to now. And then Pinterest. Well, you've got to know what your aesthetic is, what it's going to look like when you, you know, your doomsday prepping bunk has got to have a look. And then, so you've got the two folders.

You've got the social media, which we've touched on, and then life admin, which you mentioned. But you've got custom icons. Yeah. Yeah, you can do this. Yeah, on Samsung, it's like a theme you can choose. And you seem to have chosen some sort of ice cream shop. Yes.

Yeah, nice. Okay. Okay. You've also got MyFitnessPal, so we're all MyFitnessPalers. I haven't opened in forever, so shh. I know, sometimes MyFitnessPal, sometimes it gives you a notification. It's like, hey,

you want to step on the scales again? Shut up, MyFitnessPal. I just enable those notifications because I just don't listen to them. Yeah. You've got MyFitnessPal on the same tier as your Bible. Do you hold them as both

in such high regard? No, they're both those things you have around in case someone asks. But yeah, it's been a while since you've opened it. More so than MyFitnessPal. Yeah, right. yeah, it's been a while since you've opened it. More so than my fitness pal. Right, right.

Okay, it's a really interesting home script. Like, I'm not a folders person at all. I don't have a single folder on my home. I've only got just apps.

You've only got folders. And you've only got folders. But then there are too many icons and you can't see the picture. Where are the other... This is a phone, not a photo album. The photo plays secondary. It's your lock you can't see the picture. Where are the other... This is a phone, not a photo album.

The photo plays secondary. It's your lock screens where you see the photo. You open it up, you want all the convenience of your apps right there. And you can see your husband in any day. Yeah. I would be dragging out, what would you say are your three most used apps? Or Messenger, Snapchat, Instagram. You see, I would have those under where you can nearly see your partner's balls there.

Yeah, I'd have them beside the balls. I'd have those on the lawn. There's a lovely green space of lawn, which is probably about a quarter. That lawn could do with a mow. The fact that it's not mowing is really setting me off a little bit. You've got a third there that's all green, and that would just look, three apps along there would look beautiful, I think. Can you drag the apps?

You know, because on iPhone, the apps go to the nearest available spot, like to the left-hand corner, and it fills up from there. Could you have one of the apps covering the ball patch? The Bible. You could put the Bible. Have some modesty about your play. The Bible app. Yeah, every time you want to get a little sum, you've got can put the Bible. The Bible. Have some modesty about your play.

The Bible app. Yeah, every time you want to get a little sum, you've got to tap the balls. Vaughan, please. Which is, I grew up Catholic, that's how we had to do it back in the day. Yeah, right. Well, I think that's some helpful advice. Yeah. Spread them, spread them.

I'd say spread the apps, close the legs would be my advice. Spread the apps. Thank you. I will take it on board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let us know how you go. I think that's really going to just help life there with that phone sway. And good luck with your studies as well because I see you've got the AUT.

Thank you. You must be studying. Thank you. We're doing some postgraduate studies. Oh, you're a nurse. Is that Yeah. Oh, you're a nurse. Yeah. Is that right? I am a nurse.

I'm doing, yeah, postgraduate studies. Good luck overthrowing the government too. With the telegram. With the telegram. Well, there we go. I think that's a successful episode of Extreme Homepage Makeover. Yeah. Well done, everybody.

Thanks for joining us, Corinda, and thanks for taking the roasting this morning. No worries. With that folder homepage. I just stumbled across this, and it made me happy, and then I thought if it made me happy, maybe I'd like to share it. That's nice. But there's a guy on TikTok called Calum333.

It's like Calum except the first L is an I. Calum, C-A- I-L. This is like your mum reading it. Oh, I think it's Calum. W-H-T-T-P-S dot dot slash slash www.tiktok.com slash

slash at sign C-A-I-L-U-M 333. Now this young fellow really put a smile on my dial. Just as you had thought that humanity was done I lost all faith. You lost all faith.

I've lost all faith. Regularly losing faith. This fellow put a smile on my dial by his whole TikTok deal as he plays the Bunnings Warehouse theme at inappropriate times in movies. Bunnings Warehouse. So this is up there with that guy Hayley. Was it you and I that watched the guy that puts the saxophone solos and songs that you didn't know saxophone songs needed? Dude, that guy rules.

He's so good. We should find him too because we play a lot of the songs and then he puts the sax songs. So he, this guy takes famous movies like just absolute classics. Very emotional scenes. One of the scenes is when Iron Man dies. Spoiler alert. Iron Man dies at the end of Avengers Endgame. And he puts it in. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Iron Man dies at the end of Avengers Endgame.

Oh, spoiler alert? Spoiler alert. We wanted to play that one, but there's not a lot of sound around it apart from it, so that's more of a visual situation. I do. I am Iron Man. No, that's the end of the Iron Man 1 movie. It's quite long, isn't it, the bunning?

And he plays it all on the guitar. He's got a backing track. Okay, this is Forrest Gump. Okay. Lieutenant Dan, what are you doing here? Well, thought I'd try out my sea legs. You ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dan. Oh, Lieutenant Dan. Oh, Lieutenant Dan.

It just goes on. We're going to tell you about the prices and the price match guarantee. Yeah. Dobby is happy to be with his friend, Harry Potter. Remember that? You saw that. You were like, who's that when we watched Harry Potter? That was when Dobby the house elf died. You were like, who's he?

Oh, yeah, the pigeon. No. Is that the pigeon when the pigeon died or the owl? It was an owl. Dobby wasn't. No. Hedwig was the owl. I don an owl. Dobby wasn't... No. Hedwig was the owl. I don't know.

Dobby was the house owl. I hadn't seen the other five Vaughn. I don't know. Fletch joins Harry Potter in the two most emotional deaths in the entire thing.

Bah, maybe. Bah. I was sadder at the death of the owl than I was at the death of Dumbledore. Right. He played Harry Potter for six movies.

What about when Marley died? Oh, the dog. Oh, that would be a good one. I saw him watch that movie. Have you never seen Marley and me? I don't need to. I don't need to. Oh, it's classic.

I don't need to be destroyed like that. Ah, okay. Gandalf. You shall not pass! It's funny because he's fighting the Balrog and that's not a place with the Bunnings. Yeah. Anyway, this is the sort of stuff my mind likes.

I like it a lot. I don't know if you guys like it, but it makes me giggle. Maybe Big Dirty B have won you back with their jingle. Nah. Because you're a big orange. Nah. Nah. Orange till we die. Orange till we die. That is a cracking jingle, though. Nah Because you're a big orange Nah Nah

Orange till we die Orange till we die That is a cracking jingle though There's no denying that However, I would like to meet the man that wrote the Bunnings jingle Or woman Wrong of me to assume that Really wrong of you to assume that

But wait, let me Google who wrote the Bunnings jingle Because then if it's a man I wasn't wrong So it's not as bad Yeah, but your prejudice was wrong Now, wait, let me Google who wrote the Bunnings jingle book because then if it's a man, I wasn't wrong, so it's not as bad. Yeah, but your prejudice was wrong. Well, audio engineer and freelance composer Trevor Hilton. I know a girl called Trevor. Composed the iconic for the retail. Also, one's assuming that Trevor is a man.

Exactly, and that's BS. Which is very bad. He made the jingle. With a misgendered earth. And gave a televised performance of the song. Next on the show, it's the impossible phone-in topic. There has been an absolutely audacious, audacious. Someone had the audacity and carried out this audacious heist.

I almost think they should just get away with this because of the pure audacity, the sheer audacity. I do too, just give it to them. Just let them have it. And talk about this pure audacity, the sheer audacity. I do too. Just give it to them. Just let them have it. And talk about this next. And amnesty. I just want to know who they are. It is time for the impossible phone-in topic.

A topic that we think will be very hard, nigh on impossible, to get calls for. This is one of those stories that I think there's more to the story than meets the eye. There's something we're not being told. Do you think? Or it could just be exactly what has happened. Well, on May

the 21st, which was a Sunday, a red cabin Sunday, a red cabin. Curious. A red cabin. Sunday. A red cabin was stolen. Now, what do you mean a red cabin, Vaughn? Well, I'm looking at a picture of it now. It's a cabin.

I'd say it definitely falls under 30 square metres, so no consent required. It's like a mini sleep out. Mini sleep out, corrugated iron walls and roof and fitted out in a ranch loader and a wooden own and add a little deck on the outside. No plumbing though. This was in the back of somebody's... I'd say four metres by five metres if I had to take a stand in the dark. This was out the back of somebody in someone's backyard in Hamilton.

Yes, it was at a rental property that was being renovated and the cabin was put there basically for another room for the rental. Like if you need a teenager to get the hell out of the house because they stink. Yeah. We had one in our last house, remember? Yes. Much like that. Yes. So this was uplifted on May the 21st. The neighbours thought it was a professional job because tradies

had been coming and going renovating this house. And it was craned onto the back of a vehicle and driven away with. It was cr... See, somebody hired or had a truck with a crane, because it would just be a truck with a crane on the back of it, right? Like a high ab.

But this thing... Honestly, Paul... It's massive. How the hell... I need to see a proper picture of the section because it looks like it's behind the house, meaning the road's on the other side. So either way,

they had to get a crane big enough to go over the fence, and then they pick up the sleep out, and then they put it on the back of a truck or a trailer, and then they're off. They've stolen a sleep out. Imagine if someone was sleeping out in it. The sheer audacity. The sheer audacity. The audacity is sheer.

Okay, so I believe they may have backed up the, I'm not seeing a driveway here. They backed up the side of the house, the driveway to which they'd have a clear line of sight of the. Right. Maybe they backed the truck onto the lawn and hyabbed it onto the back. But either way, they needed a crane,

which is incredible. An incredible heist. Like it's not just. Stealing a bike. Yeah, it's not just... Stealing a bike. Yeah, it's not stealing a bike or chucking something in the back of a car and driving off. This is stopping, craning... They've got specialised equipment. Yeah.

This is nuts. This is a heist. And, like, I'm assuming they did this during the day. Well, that's what they did. That's what apparently saw. That is wild. And this is the impossible phone. And she talked to the neighbours and the neighbours said, oh yeah, there was a couple of guys,

but you've got people come and go and they look professional. So no questions. As you wouldn't think to take that under play or anything like that. You wouldn't. So I love these ones. We talk about audacious heists. The impossible phone. Have you a more audacious theft?

Where someone has to go to a big effort to unbolt something or just get a trailer or multiple people to lift something heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Getting a truck involved because I knew somebody whose dad did earthworks. This is going back some years. Yeah. But he had a huge 22 ton digger stolen. There was digger tracks through a paddock. How do you steal a digger?

The tracks just disappeared like halfway through the paddock. They were just like, and I'll pick it up now and carry it. Oh my god. How do you steal a digger? They must have loaded it onto a truck. But then what do you do with the digger? It's like when people have like herds of cows or sheep.

Are we talking rustling? Rustling. And, like, that needs a truck. You need a massive truck. Yeah, yeah. How do you get away with that? Those isolated farms in the central Otago were getting hammered a few years ago because their sheep would get all crowded into the yards

and taken away and people would have... Or people that steal boats. Like, you've got to... Boats. ...home bar and back up. That's audacious. But you can just walk onto a boat as well. Oh, you're meaning a boat, like, at a jetty or something? At a jet. But you can just walk onto a boat as well. Oh, you're meaning a boat like at a jetty or something?

At a jetty, you could just hop onto a boat. Or if you're a pirate, you could board a boat and take it over. Do people put those steering wheel locks on boats? Do they work? There is a lock thing you can put on the end of the part that you go rum and push it forward. Yeah, right. Well, this is what we want to ask this morning. Have you been the victim,

or do you know, of a real audacious theft? Yeah. Something huge that was stolen, and you're just like, how is that even possible? They put their hands on their hips, and they looked, and then they scratched their head, and then they put their hands back on their hips. What the hell?

Where did that go? How the hell did they pull this off? 0800 dials at Emma's number. Give us a call. You can text us 9696 for the impossible phoner. Have you been the victim of an audacious theft? The impossible phonin' topic. Have you been the victim of an audacious theft?

A whole cabin was hoisted, craned out of a backyard in Hamilton. Yep. And driven off. Yep. Someone messaged in saying they needn't have hired the truck with the high ab. You can pull those onto a car trailer with a winch if you know what you're doing. Oh, no.

Wow. I'm giving you a number to the police. Sophie, this happened, the same thing. This happened at your mum's work. Yeah, so she worked in a doctor's clinic. It was during COVID. She had a cabinet that she donated to them for, like, to have all their COVID patients and respiratory patients. Okay.

And someone came along and just took the whole cabin. Like, because my doctor had that too, where you could get your vaccinations and your COVID tests and stuff early on. Yeah. Someone just stole it. Someone just took the whole thing. And it was on, like, a main road as well. So I don't know how long it took. Yeah, and someone just came just took the whole thing. And it was on, like, a main road as well. So I don't know how long it was. Yeah, and someone just came and took the whole cabin.

I feel like you can get away with anything in a high-vis vest as well. Yeah, and just having an attitude of an air of, I'm meant to be doing this. Yeah. And did they ever find the cabin? It was fully tied down and everything. Oh, my God. They had planned it.

I don't know. I know that they had a member of the public ring them and be like, I want to, my name is Ren and we've got a cabin. I don't know if they ever got it back or anything.

Bizarre. Wow. A little cabin would be handy though. I know. I know. Have a little cabin. Have a little man cave. I'd love a little cabin.

Buy a cabin. You don't steal one from someone's backyard. We're going to have to get a cabin when we all move down south together, when we're all living in Arrowtown. We have a little cabin for our studio. Cold in the cabin.

Again, I don't think they're going to let us do the show from there. We'll put a heat pump in it for me. Thank you. Loads of messages coming in. There are some incredible, audacious thefts. We had a 20-foot shipping container stolen. No one saw a thing.

Those aren't small. But you need the truck for that, right? With the crane on it. Ah, no. You need a decent-sized trailer with a winch on it again. For a shipping container. We had a 40-foot shipping container when we were tearing down the old garage just through all the garage stuff.

And yeah, a guy just came around with a big trailer and a winch on it and plops it down and drives off. What? What? Yeah, and then on the way back, he like puts his trailer down and drags it back on. But you couldn't do that if it was full of stuff, right? Never say never on a heist, my friend.

Well, we thought it could be impossible, but no. No. If it's not bolted down, in fact, even if it is bolted down, someone will unbolt it and take it. We're talking about the audacious thefts that you have witnessed. Somebody's cabin was craned out of the back of their Hamilton yard. Yeah. How did they even see it was behind the house?

I know. That's another question. Maybe it's... Yeah. Yeah, okay. Carl joins us. Carl, what was the audacious theft? I was, just had a knock at the door one day

and it was somebody from Fletcher's in a suit or some other company like that. And he was asking if I had seen any dodgy activity in the council land, which was next to us. We had like an underground reservoir. Yeah. And I had said, no, I'd just seen maybe six or seven people in high-vis vests and hard hats pick up the massive generator,

which was about two by eight metres long, and put it onto the truck and walk away with it. And apparently that had been stolen. Oh my God. See what I mean? You can get away with anything in a high-vis if you... What would you need that for? The commune.

You'd need it for the doomsday bunker. You might need it for your hydroponics. Jesus, how much you growing? The look of despair on this guy's face when I said I didn't get any of the details. He was just broken at that moment. That's not on you. They had all the garb.

How are you still home? Yeah, and that's the thing. What, are you going to go down to eight people or six people and say, excuse me, what are you doing? Can I see your certificate? It's not. No, supposed to know? Yeah. And that's the thing. What are you going to go down to eight people or six people and say, excuse me, what are you doing? Can I see your certificate? It's not. No, no, no.

Yeah. Wow. But again, like the balls to do that, eh? In broad daylight. Yeah. Yeah. Incredible. Carl, thank you.

Loads of messages in. Someone stole my entire hedge in Palmerston North. How do you get? I guess they just dug up the hedge and took the. Would that root well again? Oh, some of them. Depends on what it is, eh? My goodness.

That's a great idea, actually, because I've been looking into buying some established trees, but I could just nick them. Well, I'm down in Grizzlylandia, so, you know, watch out. The thing about a hedge is it's got to grow and then shape, but if you get it pre-made, all the hard work's done. Pre-growing.

My aunt and uncle's boat was stolen from outside their house in Auckland. They only knew because they heard the motor being dragged down the street. My uncle was like, that's a weird noise. And it was because the thieves hadn't put up the motor when they drove away. So you would have got it back, but it just would have been absolutely bugger.

When I lived in Melbourne, some guys stole the roof off the house across the street. The roof? Just take the roof. What, the lead bits? Or like the lead, because you know, sometimes they steal lead off the- Oh, like the gutter in there if it's all lead lined. No, no, no, not lead. Copper.

Copper, yeah. Steal the copper. Friends in Havelock North had their caravan parked outside their bedroom window and they were woken up to a ute hooking up the caravan and driving it away because they heard the gravel. Police were amazing. Found it within 24 hours. With it already having had been painted.

Within 24 hours. Well, you'd be thankful for the new paint job, wouldn't you? It would be nice. Thank you very much. A little zhuzh there that we didn't know it needed. My father's jet ski was stolen from the driveway when he was home. They were upstairs, didn't hear anything until they heard the car leaving. They didn't get down there.

And they found out when they were contacted by a shop saying, someone's tried to order a new jet ski for your jet ski. Is that you? Yeah. Someone said, what about well-known, well-remembered heist of the Parnia of the Reef? Yes, that's right. Statue.

That was got back just before they could melt it down. Full bronze. A full concrete safe was stolen from my sister's TAB and wheeled down the road. Oh, my God. Had live power lines stolen from the road to the wool shed off State Highway 1. Free power, though. Yeah, that would be crazy.

That would be like having a free power hour, but every hour is a free power hour. Every hour is a free power hour. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Now, you've had a realisation. I have. So this is a bit of a, just a shout out to everyone who went on isotretinoin,

otherwise known as, that's the active drug in Accutane, Oratane, Something-tane, all the tanes. It says Jack-tane. No, not Jack-tame. No, that's something different. all the Tanes. Is this Jack Tane? No, not Jack Tame. No, that's something different. He's Tame. This is the medication you take for your skin, right? This is the very, very strong acne drug that you can go on if you jump through a lot of hurdles.

And I have to say, like, oh, my God, it's an incredible drug, but so many side effects. And some of them are really serious. They don't let a lot of teenagers on it because of the increase in depression. Right. Which obviously in teenagers, particularly young men, is really serious.

To get your teenager on Accutane, it can be really, really hard. How bad does your skin have to be before they'll put you on this, and how does it work? And I need that answer in a sentence each. You basically have to show, because I went on it, obviously, which is why I'm talking about it.

You basically have to show that you've tried everything else. So you have to say, I've tried this face wash, I've tried this routine, I've tried this diet, I've done this, I've washed this, and da-da-da-da. Jeez Louise. And nothing works. Because acne is a, it's not just pimples. It's like a whole thing all the time. Is it a genetic thing?

Like what was your, what were your parents' skin like growing up? Because it's not, it's not stop eating junk food and energy drinks. Have you tried washing your face? Yeah. Oh my God. When I had acne, because I came off the pill right for a break. So mine's hormonal. It just went crazy crazy and people were like

are you washing your pillowcase? Oh my god I used to have people be like, have you tried Clarice out? Do you think I've tried Clarice out? Anyway, if you haven't been on Accutane, some of the side effects like the main way it works is by reducing your oil production

but in doing so to clear your skin, everything else changes. Like you have to sign contracts saying that you're not depressed. You have to sign contracts saying that you're using two types of contraception because if you produce a baby without the ability to produce oil, they're like monsters. They're like, you can't. You just can't have them.

Wait, so the baby won't be able to produce oil? Yeah, you won't be able to make the baby properly. Well, America's not going to invade the baby. That's a good, that's a positive. Yeah. Yeah. So you do all these things, but like the side effects are unreal when you take away your body's ability to make oil.

So yeah, your brain goes all crazy. But mine was like, my nose bled a lot. Because like dry skin's part of it. You get these dry, awful lips called Accutane lips. But my nose bled a lot because it was so dry. How common is it for people to use this? Like it sounds... Quite common.

Really? Because that sounds horrible. Oh, it's horrible. But then I mean, the option is yeah, not good either. Yeah, well I had a friend who went on it, a male friend, and his mental health, it was almost within a week, deteriorated so quickly. And then he came off and was like, oh, okay, I'm normally, okay, we'll just have bad skin because it's horrendous.

If I might, apart from looking at someone with bad skin and being like, oh, they've got pimples and stuff, there's no bad side effect, right? Do you know what I mean? Like these side effects, is it worth it just to not have pimples if you're living in your own personal hell? I know, I know. But then you've got to weigh it up.

It's just one of the craziest things. And I just was reading something yesterday about how reducing your oil production can really stuff with your gut health and that being on Accutane is linked to IBS and I was like oh my god because I've never had a bad stomach until I came off of Accutane and then I was like oh my god maybe that's what stuffed up my stomach and I just went down this whole loophole of how crazy this drug is like and it's just a wild ride. And the side effects can sometimes last forever. Like there's parts of my body that are forever different after being on it,

other than having incredible skin now. So would you do it again then, knowing that? I would, but I had an all right time. My side effects were only outward. Like mentally I was all right and I was happier because my skin was clearing. But then you're forever going to have a crook guts. You can't eat.

Yeah, crook guts. And I've got this like funny nose thing. And you know, other parts are dry. And you sort of introduce other ways of fixing that. And you know, like this. You get no part. Things change. Someone said, don't forget the eight weekly blood tests for your liver.

Oh, you've got to get blood tests every couple of months because it is just wreaking havoc in your body. Someone said it's also an anti-cancer drug. That's how strong it is. As a pharmacist, I'm proud of your explanation, Hayley. That's not me speaking, I'm not a pharmacist. You're not, no, your brother is. My brother is a pharmacist, and this is not a text from him.

This pharmacist goes on to say, in regards to is it worth taking, I've come across people who have had severe depression due to their acne and the Accutane. So, okay, I get that. That's the way out. I get that. Yeah.

Because the thing is, it's like, yeah, acne's acne. And if we were in a different society, perhaps you'd be more okay with just letting your face do what it does. But we don't live in that society. So then you can be immensely depressed because you're dealing with this. And it's painful. I remember I went on Accutane because I was doing a show. And at the end of the show, I bowed and I moved my head down and the blood went onto my acne.

And it was like, pump, pump, pump. And I was like, stuff this. Oh God, a throbbing. Now Fletch, you've got the skin of an angel. What do you use? It truly does. It's his no stress lifestyle. It's the fact that he's busy all day but he literally has no responsibilities and it's

always a good packet of mints in the fridge. Yeah, it's just vegetables and fruit. And early sleep. Early to bed, early to rise. My biggest, and this really does pile in comparison to what people are going through, because I my wife bought that

proactive stuff when Justin Bieber was the spokesperson for it back in 2009 or whatever. And I didn't even really need it, but I used it because it was face wash and it was in the shower and it took the colour out of the bath towels. We're all going through our own stuff, you know?

Yeah. Now, I don't know why I just sort of wanted to talk about it because it's just this wild drug. Some people message in, like, because you can't go in the sun at all. You're super, what's the word? Oh, my God. My nipples peeled.

So did mine. Someone messaged in saying My nipples peeled. So did mine. Someone messaged in saying their nipples peeled. So did mine. Or like a snake sheds their skin. Yeah, like cracked. Like mine were like cracked and they peeled off. And now. What did you put on your nipples to stop the crack?

Balm. Lanolin. You just balm. Lanolin. Balm. What about kawa kawa balm? That'd be great for the nipples. I might actually just go home and pop some more.

It's a miracle balm. So how long were you on this for? How long do you have to be on it for? Well, you can do it hard and fast, which I think is a little bit freaky. Like you can take like five pills a day. I took like three a day and then minimized it and I went on it for way longer, for like three years.

And then you come off it and you kind of wean. Because I think they're changing how you do it because the side effects are so terrible that if you go hard and fast, that's when your body's like, rah, and like peels like a reptile. God, that's scary. We're getting some amazing text messages in. As a hairdresser, this is a PSA.

Do not colour your hair while on these products. No, you can't. It can cause huge allergic reactions. Really? Your skin's so sensitive you can't go in the sun, you can't dye it, you can't wax because your skin's like paper. Somebody else said you aren't allowed to have waxes and shaving is cautioned.

Oh someone just messaged saying oh my god I'm listening to you and I was just prescribed Accutane yesterday. It's like not all bad. I'm just saying, you've just got to like be aware of the side effects and kind of like listen to them and go with them. It is crazy. Somebody said, and I sure hope this wasn't

the general consensus, when I was asking regarding side effects from the drugs versus the side effects of having acne as a teenager. Yes. Please don't belittle people with serious acne, Vaughan. It can be very, very painful and it affects every aspect of your life as well as your mental health. Now, that's why I was questioning it.

Yeah, yeah. As someone who had the odd big underskin pimple that I squeezed way too early and it would hurt, that was my querying regarding the side effects. So, yeah, please don't ever take that as I was belittling teen acne As I know it's a serious thing But I was just wondering regarding side effects From the medication versus the side effects From Well godspeed to everyone out there

Don't get a tattoo while you're on Accutane I got a very small tattoo My whole arm bruised My blood takes ages to clot I bleed for 45 minutes when I cut myself with Accutane Isn't it wild Ladies do I cut myself with Accutane. Isn't it wild? Ladies, do not get laser on Accutane. And it literally burned my skin, not pleasant at all.

Oh, jeez. This sounds like a wonderful drug. I got my eyebrows threaded when I was on Accutane and it took a layer of skin off my eyelids. I guess that's like the threading pulls it out, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, gosh. God, the things we go through. Well, a change of tack next,

because a divorce lawyer has weighed in with the top five careers and men you should avoid. Radio presenters, because they're always tired. I've got up at four. Yeah. God, my wife would agree yesterday. I was an irritable boy yesterday. I probably best not to be talked to.

I said that to everybody. Clay. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. 9% Swedish, I've just checked You are? Yep I mean, that was the same I don't think there's been any great updates on Ancestry.com

Aren't we 5%? Is this a Swedish fact of the day? It's a Swedish fact of the day, baby Okay, let me just bring up my Ancestry app. I think I'm five or four. Right. It's loading. It's taking a while. Swedish.

I'm still 6%. 6%. Well, this fact is 3% more for me than it is for you. Oh, no. I'm Norwegian. I'm 4%. Hello. Hello. 4% to Norway. Me too. Maybe no, I'm Norwegian. Oh. I'm 4%. Hello. Hello. Hello, Neba.

4% to Norway. Hello. Oh my God, me too. Maybe we're brother and sister. Ooh, weird because we've slept together. We haven't.

Oh my God, I just said that on air. Yeah, oh my God, you said it on air. Oh no, the secret's out. Oh my God, the show secret. That's not the show secret.

Carry on. It's about the Swedish practice of fritenspunk. I beg your pardon? You can't do that on the radio. There's children in the car. Fritenspunk! It's for the children.

It's for everyone. Fritenspunk is... What is that? It's in Sweden. And it's this cool thing where when you're like, say you play tennis and you're like, I'm getting a new tennis racket, but there's nothing actually wrong with my old tennis racket.

Yeah. I take it down to Fredensspanken. The op shop. It's not the op shop. Cash converters. It's not cash converters. It's Swedish cash converters. It's a library for sports and leisure items.

Oh, like a community library. I love that. For sports equipment so your kids can be like a community library. I love that. So a community library for sports equipment so your kids can be like, Mazza Fazza. I don't know if this is particularly Swedish sounding. Mazza Fazza, undst van to play

ze badmuntjont. Oh, ze badmuntjont. Ze badmuntjont. Yeah. And they say, go to ze freight and spanken and get to ze racket. So you go down and you borrow this racket

for like two weeks and you can be like, okay, it turns out I like it and I'm going to be on the badminton team. I love badminton, yeah.

So you can buy badminton rather than being like, mum, I need you to buy me a badminton racket one weekend. I hate badminton. It sucks.

You can use it twice and then never use it again. Yeah, never use it again. So when you're like, you're encouraged when you're cleaning out the garage

to stuff you're not using anymore, you can take it down to the Friedensbanken. And they've got things like, for example,

there's a lot of people that want to try in Sweden cross-country skiing. All of that can be very, very expensive. God.

But you can go down, hire it, for two weeks, try it out, and if it's for you, you return it and you can go buy your own. That's such a good idea. Rather than just borrowing it.

Such a good idea. God, it would have saved my parents so much money. Yeah. My parents were always like, any sport you want to try, try it. They were like, get outside, be active. Yeah. We had cricket gear. Mine would just say no.

I'd be like, Mom, Dad, I'm into rally driving. I need a Subaru WRX. And they're like, no. Dad, I'm into rally driving. I need a Subaru WRX. W-R-X. S-T-I. No. Yeah. And then you're like, I hate you. I stole it.

I hate rally driving. I hate you. I hate everything. Take it to the Friedenspanken. And then the next week, I want to try parachuting. I wouldn't get my parachute from the Friedenspanken. No, you've got to buy a new one. And now I want to do

scuba diving. Yeah. You want to make sure that tank's at a once-over. But yeah, all your leisure equipment is basically a library for sports and leisure items.

What an idea. It's a fantastic idea. Let's get that happening here. And let's just call it the Fred and Spankin even here. We should have like a tool in Spankin, which,

because I always think that like lawnmowers, weed whackers, like all these power tools, you buy them for one project. Yes. Sort of tool and spanken. And Zenz, you go to the tool and spanken and go, I only need this for one project. Yes. Yeah, go and hire it.

I mean, I guess that's what hire poll is, right? Yeah, but no, this is free. Yeah, I like that. Okay. So today's fact of the day is in Sweden there is a Fridhemsbanken, which is a library for sports and leisure items. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- she sees in men that she would like to warn women about. Now, she said that these are, she notices these five professions

tend to be more narcissistic. They tend to be more controlling. They tend to be far more difficult in dealing with a divorce. They have a kind of nuke the earth, scorch the earth, how do you challenge me kind of approach to litigation. Wow.

I mean, if you're in a courtroom, why not? You know, if it's got to the point where you're in a courtroom and there's litigation going on. Or even just around the table negotiating. Right, right, right, right, right. Scorched earth policy. We've got to retreat and burn. I mean, divorce, any breakups can be messy,

especially when there are assets involved. Yeah. Wow. Now, these are not in any order. Yeah, divorce, any breakups can be messy. Yeah. Especially when there are assets involved in. Yeah. Wow. Now, these are not in any order. Yay, yay, yay. Firefighters. Well, because they like fires.

Because they like the. They like a scorched earth policy. They like scorched. I don't know. Oh, okay. Military service members. Okay, so far I'm seeing a trend. You're seeing a trend. There's people where there's a hierarchy, male-dominated industries.

Yeah, maybe. And, like, follow the order and do, as I say, police officers. Again. Yep. Surgeons and pilots. Surgeons because it's by the book. Everything's like there's a wrong and a right, right? Yes.

Like surgeons, you've got to learn it. There's a... Yeah. But again, there's a hierarchy there. Yeah. Pilots, there's a hierarchy there. Yeah. Male-dominated. All of those industries are very, yeah, male-dominated,

all very hierarchical. Is that what you say? Yeah, I think so. Hierarchical. Hierarchical. There's a hierarchy to it. You've got to work your way up. Isn't that wild?

Yeah, and I guess there's a lot of respect in those industries. And when you feel you're not getting the respect, isn't that wild? Hey, look, don't shoot the messenger. I'm just saying that's in her 13 years. Messengers, also very hard to divorce messengers because they're constantly being shot at. They're great at dodging responsibilities. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Well, there are the... Executioners, also very hard to... Well, a landlord in Auckland is under fire. When someone fell behind on rent, quite a bit behind on rent, but quite a bit, but still, they disabled their ability to use the lift to get to their 20-something floor apartment.

Oh, my God. So every time they wanted to leave the house, it was a cardio. It'll be fine going down, but are they like doing that? Sometimes you go down, you'd be getting into a rhythm and then you'd misstep. Always the risk of having to tumble. And hard on the knees. Very hard on the knees. Going back up to your apartment would be like that Sky Tower

firefighter challenge. With some groceries. Great training for it. Especially with groceries. A little weight resistance. Would you just wait at the bottom for somebody else to go in the lift and be like, oh, can you buzz me on that floor? I'll go up to your floor and come down a few steps. Well, it's like they've got to be on your floor.

Yeah. So they've got to be on your floor to swipe in. Otherwise, if they're swiping in for another floor, you can't get into your floor. Great if they lived above you. Not great if they live below you. Just looking at the story. So the guy was behind nearly $3,000 on rent as business had got into a res.

Oh. Behind. So he's obviously struggling. And yeah, so it's all come out in the open because of the tenancy tribunal that had a hearing in December. What? And so the landlord cut the lift as, I guess, retaliation. Like, come on, pay up.

Right. And then you can take the lift, which is a bit rough. I bet their quads are looking good, though. Good quads. Their ass would have looked so good. When did he cut it off? Just in, like, spring last year, a few months, just for summer, getting it popping for summer.

Mind you, you know, maybe not. Maybe over summer it was hot so they were doing the walking, looking good in the autumn, moved to the jeans for summer, for winter. He snagged in them pants.

He still had the apartment front door key and he'd asked the neighbours to let him in the front entrance of the building. Oh, so he'd buzz them. He'd buzz them.

So he couldn't even get in the front door. That's rough. That would wear thin. Yeah. The neighbours could buzz you up. Okay. Well, there goes the hot ass and the tight quads.

Because I don't think you're going to get those. You're just going to have annoyed neighbours every time you want to come and go. You've got to buzz them. Yeah. Get buzzed in. But no, I don't want to live that high in a building. You don't like the heights. We're not meant to be that far off the ground. We're not meant to be that far off the ground.

We're not meant to live that far off the ground. We're not birds. We can spend time high, but we must come down. We are not meant to live at that high. Yeah, your father-in-law lives in a big building. What floor is he? Is he that high? 20, yeah, at least. Do you like that? You don't like that view?

It's an okay view, but I wouldn't want to live there. It's too high. Too high. We're not meant to be up there. Okay. How high would you go? Second story.

Right. Because you've had a two-story house. Yeah, it was fine up there. But that's your max. That's your max. Any higher, we shouldn't be that far from the ground. Right. You know, if the worst happens, it's a long way. I'm just saying.

Personally, I'm not a high-rise liver. Put me squat. I'd rather live in the ground. Underground? Would you rather live underground or 20th floor? A hobbit hole would be perfect. Okay. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars

because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review

for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars

on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is

I'm doing one of those secret restaurants oh I was going to say that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley