ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 31st May 2024

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

-Silly Little Poll - Tailgating-Best Taco Filling-Best Perfume/Colognes-Top 6, Ways to Spend your Flybuys-Bad News Brad- Impossible Phone in topic- Have you broken something super rare/expensive See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Friday.

Oh that was funny eh, that guy. Oh the, who did the zoom into his drink-driving appearance in court. But he was zooming from his car as he was driving around. Yeah. What you doing, my dude? Idiot. Just a couple more thoughts would have been good. He's got rocks in his head.

I think he might. Simple explanation there. Long weekend ahead. Yeah. Long weekend ahead. I'd actually forgotten about it. Yeah, long weekend. Monday off.

Monday off. Okay, let's do the group toot. Ready? Did you say Queens? No, I said Kings. Oh, I thought you said Queens. Okay, here's the long weekend group toot. No, you've done that wrong.

I know I do miss the long weekend group toot. I miss it too, but, you know, it doesn't work. Unfortunately, phone technology has kind of killed the long weekend group toot, but unfortunately, phone technology has kind of killed the long weekend group toot. You know, video killed the radio star. Yep. Well, iPhones killed the group toot star. On the show

today, Bad News Brad joins us after seven. Economist, superstar economist. We call him Bad News Brad because there's been nothing but bad news over the last few years. Yeah, he's going to hold our hands and walk us through the budget. The budget, like what it means for like, I don't know, your pay, rent, the mortgage. How much extra you're getting.

Did you guys do that? You know the Herald had a calculator, so you put in your salary and then it tells you your tax cut. Yeah. Did you do that? I did not. I will. 20 bucks? Yeah. Oh my God. I thought National was supposed that? I did not. I will. 20 bucks? Yeah.

Oh my God. I thought National was supposed to love middle class white men like me. Load me up with a bit of extra flush cash money.

I'll see if they like middle class white women like me. See if that changes anything. So we'll chat to Brad about the budget after 7 o'clock

this morning with all of our dumb questions. Yesterday, flybys pulled the RIP. RIP pulling the pin. It's RIP after what? 30 years? We were a big Flybuys family

growing up. Mum and Dad got Flybuys everywhere they could. God, is everything closing down? There's so much bad news lately. Everything's closing. So the top six dealing with the... Well. Literally. Everything's closing. So the top six dealing with the, well after 30 years, yes, and the

goodbye and flybys, the top six things you could blow 30 years worth of flybys on. Imagine if you'd just been collecting for 30 years and never spent it. Yeah. There'd be some people cashing out. I couldn't even get on their website last night, really. Next on the show, Gen Z and their online behaviours. It'll shock you.

This will shock you. Shock you. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. This is a study in a marker. Marker. It's called Meet Your Digital Self. No thanks. And it looks at the secrets that people keep online

and the personas that they sort of portray online, I guess. And it was across the generations and whether or not, like, what generations are keeping more of a secret persona online or like, what do you call it, disingenuous or just like a little version of yourself? Kind of like, yeah, a heightened version of yourself or a double life. Yeah.

So Gen Z was the highest. 46% of them said that they feel their personality online vastly differs from how they present themselves in the real world. Half of them. Then it goes down from there, basically like through the ages. Because then it's 27% of sorry, 38% of millennials feel that way. 18% of Gen Xers and then 8% of baby boomers

because they don't know how to figure it out. I was going to say because they might make a boomer might make a comment online, but that's also a comment they'd make to you or at a family dinner. Yeah, when they're like oh, put that away, you shouldn't be wearing those shorts. You're like, oh my god, you would never say that keyboard at a family dinner. Yeah, when they're like, oh, put that away. You shouldn't be wearing those shorts. You're like, oh, my God, you would never say that, keyboard warrior.

And then someone walks by, they're like, oh, God, she should not be wearing those shorts. You're like, oh, you would say that. You would say that. Yeah, you would, yeah. It's crazy that you'd just say that out loud to someone. Wow, look at you with no filter. Yeah.

I'm definitely, I don't know. I feel like I present, because I'm only on Instagram. That's really the only social media that I'm on, other than Facebook, which I don't use now. A passive user of Facebook. A passive user. I lurk in the shadows. You're a lurker.

But I definitely would put up a photo because I'm like, that looks hot. My last post that I just put up with me playing the guitar on stage, I put that up purely because, not because I was like, what an honour to perform on stage for the, I'm just saying, I look hot. And who liked it? Literally everyone.

Jason liked it. Jason Momoa liked it. Chloe Swarbrick liked it. Jason, yeah. That's great. That made my day, didn't it? But do you know what I mean? Like it's a version of myself

because I'm going like, oh, I'm put together in this thing. But then when I do stories and stuff, I'm pretty like, just as is, bit raw dog, bit rough. Yeah. Pimples out. If it makes the grid, it is something a little bit more special. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But huck anything up on the story. Huck anything up. It's only out there for a day. But I definitely, I don't feel like I've got a completely different personality. I feel like a lot of people are more outgoing online. Like they might message more

and be more talkative. Yeah, and post more. And then you meet them in real life and they've got like, and they're shy. And they're really shy. Yeah. Nothing to talk about.

I sort of get it. I mean, that's why you've got to always remember it's not real. Online's not reality. Online's not real, yeah. What you see, how you perceive always remember it's not real. Online's not reality. Online's not real, yeah. What you see, how you perceive people, it's not real. Everyone's perfect lives. Yes. Do you know I remember, because in that first

lockdown, 2020, that first one where we were all like, what's happening, what's happening? I did not have a good time. I was like, not in a good place. I really was like, I'm hating all of this. And then I remember I had to turn off social media. I really was like, I'm hating all of this. And then I remember I had to turn off social media

because everyone would be like, I'm making sourdough or I'm like out for a walk. And I was like, I'm like struggling. And it really gave me this idea that everyone was really like thriving in lockdown

and I felt terrible and I was like, oh my God. But then you learnt that everybody... Yeah, so I looked away and I was like, I can't do that

because it's making me feel bad about my own life. And then talking to people would be like, yeah, I had a horrible time. And I was like, what's with all the because it's making me feel bad about my own life. And then talking to people would be like, yeah, I had a horrible time. And I was like, what's with all the posts about your sourdough and your warts? Well, they were trying to convince themselves, weren't they? They were like, maybe if I tell everybody else I'm having a good time, I'll start having a good time.

If I say it enough times, maybe I'll start to believe it. Yeah, trying to convince themselves more than anything. Yeah, well, take everything you see online with a grain of salt. Silly Little Pole is next. Are you a tailgater? Yep. Vaughn's a big tailgater. Oh my god. Someone should have felt my wrath this morning behind them.

I'm a gentleman. You're a gentleman tailgater. Because your car can't go fast enough to get up someone's ass. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is

so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. I'm reading off my phone today. Why?

Why are you doing that? Because I don't know what's happening in the group chat. They all come as, in this one I can just flick side to side. I don't know what's happening in Facebook Messenger. Okay. Something's amiss. There might have gone a bit skew-iff as well. We've got some errors.

Something's amiss. Silly Little Pole, do you tailgate? What's this off? What's this off the back of? This comes to us from the UK because they did some research over there which found that in the UK, 55% of drivers admitted to tailgating. Yeah, I'll tell you. It's real bad for traffic, eh?

Have you ever seen those diagrams? Yeah. Like if you follow a little bit further back, traffic will flow better. Yeah. At least you don't keep jamming. Yeah. If you kind of like let the gap be swallowed up if there's a gap

and then the person will start moving and then leave the gap and you can kind of consistently move rather than stop, start, stop, start. Yeah. No one does it though. No one does. No.

No one does it. Do you tailgate? You've raised a very good point just before the song that I don't tailgate anymore because my car's not fast enough. I think you might be because I like to get up behind

people in the Honda. Yeah. R.I.P. I believe it's living out its retirement in Ngaruahia. Really?

It didn't get turned into a cube? No. How rude! It was a workhorse. My last car got turned into a cube and it was a workhorse.

You've got to love a workhorse. Pay us its respects. Do you tailgate? 34% of people said yes. 66% of people said yes. 66% of people said no. Oh, okay.

So we're a lot less tailgated than the UK. Yeah. I do. I tailgate. I tailgate, but if someone tailgates me, I'll jam on my brakes. Yeah, I'll give the brakes a tap when someone's right up your ass. Yeah. Be like, oh, you're right.

You're right back there. Yeah. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Yeah. For the most part, I'm a calm person, says Courtney, but if someone is driving stupid slow and won't pull over, my inner crazy comes out. Tailgating is usually the result. Yeah. Yeah. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Yeah. For the most part, I'm a calm person, says Courtney, but if someone is driving stupid slow and won't pull over, my inner crazy comes out. Tailgating is usually the result. Yeah.

Yeah. Kitty. Kitty. Kitty says. Was that the mum of that 70s show? Kitty, yep. Kitty it was. Yeah.

Yeah. And wasn't it that crazy woman on Arrested Development as well? Yes. And she kept flashing her breasts at Jason Bateman's character. Yes. That's her name played by that like funny, funny actor. Yes. So she just popped up on my algorithm the other day and I was like, oh my God.

Judy Greer. Yeah, Judy Greer. Yeah, she's so great. So funny. If people are driving under the speed limit in the right-hand lane, then yes to a point I will tailgate to tell them to move the F over. Nothing more infuriating than people who have no awareness. I wish cars were fitted with a sign that said move

so you could light them up or move. Yeah. That feels very, I feel seen, Kitty. Amy says, no, my car makes a noise if I get too close and won't let me. Oh, those real, are getting too smart. Pull you back when you're going over the line. Our family car on cruise control, you can set how far you want to stay behind the car in front of you.

And it is lovely. It's a lovely setting for a car to have. What about just do 80 centimetres? Do you know what I mean? They don't let you do that close. Just do 80. Cruising right there. Can you choose on top?

Like put your wheels on their back. On on there backwards and get a little ride. Can you do that? Can you lower a thing and hook onto their tow bar? So then you just put yours in neutral and get towed around. Beautiful. Fuel saving. Katie said, who is the arsehole McDickface who is admitting to tailgating? Honestly.

Katie? Language. That's not McDickface. Family shot. Arsehole McDickface. She's obviously to tailgating, honestly. Katie, language. That's not Dickface. This is a family shot. She is. That's not McDickface. She's obviously anti-tailgater. Yeah.

Give her some respect, please. Shay, only if they're going extremely slow, like, would probably ride Vaughn's ass all the way out west. Only because she knows you drive slow. Get out of the right lane. We're starting to get out of the right lane. If I'm in that lane and I want to get out of that lane, but the person in the middle is, like, matching my speed, I can't move.

That's how slow you're going, though, that you can't get into the slower lane because they're going too fast for you to get in. They're going the same speed as me. People talk about you on the West Auckland Motorway Facebook pages. Yeah, they're like, oh, the chimney's back, guys. Saw the chimney, yeah. Who's driving that slow-ass chimney? Going 80 in the 110.

Every fifth car out west is a chimney, so jokes on them fighting me. Alice, it's an absolute no. It annoys me more than people who can't indicate it at a roundabout. My partner always tailgates, and I'm super embarrassed to be in the car when he does it. Oh, okay. Linda, drive a marked company car. Too much hassle if you tailgate because people can report you. I love when people drive like assholes

in a company car and you can just like find them on Instagram and be like, oh, hi. Like quite often we'll, if we go out in a work car, we'll use the coast car,

won't we? Yes. And it's got Tony Street's face on it. We'll pull the fingers at people. Yeah. Call people really bad

I put on a blonde wig and I'm like, I'm Tony, I'm Tony and I just flip and burn. I just go crazy. Straight stuff. I sully her. Yeah.

With respect. With respect. Just ripping the fingers at everybody. So, New Zealand, a nation of tailgaters and people who

absolutely hate tailgating. Yeah. Next on the show, 621, an airline has a new feature when booking flights and some people

are calling this genius, some people are calling it creepy. some people are calling it creepy. Some people are calling it a sign of the times. Yes, we'll explain next. There is a budget airline in India, it's called Indigo. It will now let female passengers, when they're booking their flights, they will now let female passengers, when they're booking their flights, they will now let female passengers,

or if you've got a female in your booking, you will be able to see on the seat map where other females are seated. Interesting little pink thing. With a little pink icon, so that means the female's already selected that seat. So if you were a travelling solo female, you'd be like, right, well I'll sit next to a pink seat. Because then I won't get harassed.

Harassed or like, hey, fancy a little bit of my lemon popcorn? Can't stop thinking about that lemon popcorn in New Zealand. How embarrassing for you in New Zealand. How embarrassing for the national character. It's the wildest snack I've ever had.

Wait, it's good or it's bad? I don't know. I can't figure it out. But I can't stop eating it. Okay, right. Yeah, I can't stop. Well, next time. Next time.

It worries me. Just, yeah, have a look. I get this. This is cool. So would you, if you were booking, would you book next to another female? Well, I'd book next to an empty seat in the hopes that no one's going to sit there. But you know that never happens. You're like, yes, empty seat.

Three months away from my flight. This is great. Also, sitting next to a woman, they're generally smaller and shorter. They're not going to have their man-spread legs around. I had, the last flight I was on, a tiny old woman. Delightful.

Brilliant. Like didn't even touch the side of the... Oh, lovely. They sit their little arms on their lap like that. She sat there reading and it was so... No spillover. It was just brilliant. Producer Girlies, would you like this feature? Absolutely.

Yeah. We've all sat next to a punish who's... Yeah. What? You're literally reading all these... And there was that guy, yeah. He was back from Christchurch. We're coming back from Christchurch

and the guy sat in the wrong seat and then he came and sat next to me and then he was like, oh, how embarrassing. Anyway, lucky to get to sit next to you, you're far more attractive. And I was like, there we go.

He did not. Was that the same guy that had a couple of beers in the morning? Had a couple of beers in the morning? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of brewskis. It'd be nice as well

because then I could like chat with her, have some girly yarns because I love to crochet. I'd be like, do you want a hat? I don't know, like we could just bond.

Do you talk to strangers? Yeah, of course. No. I used to, but God no, not anymore. Carmen was sitting next to me and then I'm like, hi, and she's trying to read and I'm like, look at this, not anymore. Don't talk to people. Carmen will sit next to me and then I'm like, hey!

And she's trying to read and I'm like, look at this! But yet, if you were all reading these erotic novels that you're reading at the moment and the story was you sat down and the guy sat next to you and he was hot. Yeah, this is what I'm saying. Sometimes it's nice to sit next to someone that's like relatively my age. I'm like, what if they're falling in love with me

right now? Well, you know friend of the show, Eli Mathewson, comedian, he sat down next to his now future husband, partner, on a Jetstar flight. I know, it happens. On a Jetstar flight. Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing. They bonded. They bonded

over the experience. Trauma bonding. Trauma bonding, I think they call it. But also, nice to know you'll be able to go away on a holiday with someone and they won't have checked bags. They'll just carry on 7kgs and that's it. Yeah, 7kgs on the door or they'll pay more. Yeah, I mean there's worlds of possibilities.

They're meet-cutes. You've got to meet people somewhere. But I think it's a bad sign of the times when this is a thing as well. Yeah, when it's like, hey ladies, we know you get harassed. We know you get pestered, so sit next to each other. I think it's a good initiative. Yeah. Because you could choose also not to care, right?

You're just allowed to sit wherever you want. They have said a man wouldn't be able to see this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless he's a female on the booking. Yeah. That makes sense. But then what would you do if it's you and your wife or girlfriend going away? Well, you put you next to the...

Yeah, you put her next to the other female. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's quite clever. Sad, but clever. Also wild if you were going away on holiday with your partner, you put yourself next to the woman and then pestered her

right in front of your wife on the way away. I mean, that's terrible. I mean, you've got yourself one hell of a holiday coming up. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nailie. Play ZM. Okay, so there is a woman who decided to film herself heading towards A&E, accident and or emergency. And the reason she's going is because she decided to pop,

I'll say, a small bullet of the vibrating kind in the back bit. I mean, if you listen closely to the video, you can still hear it on. Don't put this. PSA, do not put them little bullet vibes anywhere in the

back region because I am currently about to head off to A&E because one is stuck in mine. That's really going for it. I'm sure you can hear that. She won't move, Steph! This is going to be very embarrassing.

She's in the car outside the hospital. Like, just why would you put that online? They'd really be rocking you to your core, right? I reckon I'd wait for the battery to die and poop it out. There's no way I'm going to A&E for it. No, there's just no way. I'm getting one of my mum's legendary banana brand muffins. Maybe two.

And I'm not going anywhere near a doctor. No, but that would make, you'd need something more solid to get that out. To push it out. Rather than your mum's brand muffins. It would be too loose. It's not going to move it. It's not going to move it. It's not going to move it. It's stuck.

She can't get it up. Do you know the worst bit? The wait times are always so long. You'd be on those like plastic waiting chairs and it would just be like. Everybody in the waiting room would hear that. Far out. It's so funny that you can hear it. It's so funny.

It's so embarrassing. Anyway, we thought we would ask. The most embarrassing reason that you went to A&E. Because as you say, like, this is mortifying. Walking up to the counter. Yeah. I mean, you hear the stories. We know people that have worked in hospitals or nurses. Oh, yes.

They always have the stories. People come in. Getting things stuck in there. And you always see things, like x-rays going viral. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Things happen. Yeah. So, yeah, let's take some calls. Why not? 0800-DANCE-IT-M is the number. No, we're not taking calls. Here we are. Here we are.

I thought we were just doing Instagram responses. No, let's open it wide up, so to speak. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. God, I love the excuse that people say, I fell. I fell onto. I went to, no, don't tell that story. It's not about me, but it's about someone, and I still know them, and I won't say it,

because they'll be like, why did you ever bring that up? We want to know the most embarrassing reason that you went to the A&E, because there was a woman who she'd on TikTok, she got a little vibe stuck in the butt canal. Good morning, Blair. Morning, Tim. How are you?

Good, good. Now, what was the embarrassing reason you had to go to A&E? When I was a kid, I was about 10, got out of the bath, and was practicing my goal kicking, kicked the toilet bowl, shattered my big toe, which meant I couldn't wear bare feet for about 12 years because it hung limp and I'd stub my toe every time that I walked around.

What? It hung limp? Well, yeah, just because it shattered it, you can't, like, cast it or pin it, so it just didn't, like, function. It just would hang down lower than... A little floppy. Well, you were pretending to kick a rugby ball

in the bathroom and hit the toilet. Yeah. Ouch. Yeah. Ouch. Jesus. Then you've got a little floppy toe. So it's still floppy? No, she's regained full extension. Is it because you were young and the bones kind of sorted themselves out?

Yeah, that's the theory. So, yeah, but no, I live a full life now with a, you know. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. And do you have to wear toe socks when you, to hold it in place and stuff when you were a teenager? No, never came to mind toe socks, but maybe I could live that in a later life. Embarrassing on a jandal, wouldn't it be,

if you've got a floppy toe because you can't really grip that centrepiece? I think that's about as... Yeah, I had very white feet for a long time. Yeah. About as PG as these stories are getting too. Thank you. For starting us off nice and soft. I'm a theatre nurse and we've pulled

dildos and deodorant cans and even a lightbulb out of some butts. A lightbulb? You'd hope it'd be one of those little candle shaped ones that you had in the 90s. A taper. Yeah, tape it off. Not sort of like a big old E27.

Yeah. No, not a taper. 100 watt. 100 watt and bayonet. Many times before, always have a safety string. Always sign the safety string. You've got to have a string. By accident, I got a crown stuck up my sister's nose.

It was one of those fruit-smelling crowns back in the day. I took a staircase and told her to smell it, and she full-on inhaled it and it got stuck right up in the nose. Wait, what is it? What are you talking about? Crayon. Crayons that, like... Oh, crayon.

That smell real good. Yes. Okay. My sister-in-law's a nurse, and she had to help a man who fell on a butternut squash while he was out gardening. It got stuck up in his back area, not suspicious at all. I reckon it's probably still had the supermarket PLU code

sticker on it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh, no, it's from my garden. Lives in an apartment. She's like, why is it all lubed up? I just like to lube my butter squash in the garden. Yeah, it's a secret to get them to not get bugs. It keeps the snails off them.

Yeah, because they can't sit on it. They just slide right off. Erin had major back pain, thought it was kidneys, and after bloods and an X-rayray it turns out it was just a massive fart caught in there. Oh my god! Do you remember there was that story about the woman who was dating someone new and didn't want to fart and she got her farts

all caught in her and was like really dangerous. Yeah, gotta let them out. Nelly had a protruding lump below the stomach that was really sore and hard. Turned out it was just a backed up poo. Is that the Nelly? That is the Nelly. Nelly Fatado. Fatado or sticker on the cheek? Fatado. What is sticker on the cheek's last name?

Nelly Nelly. Nelly Nelly. Nelly Kelly. Nelly squared. Yeah. My boyfriend played paintball for his work to got shot in the knob and had a head and had the head of it all swollen up with fluid that got poured in the end of the penis.

Paintballing is ruthless, eh? It's so bad. It's not fun at all. No. Jace CW, I'm not reading yours out. Why not? Didn't poop on holiday. Some fist years.

We've got some fist years. Oh, yeah, you've said it. Yeah, there's fist years. Okay. Didn't poop on holiday for five days and gave myself a fist year and had to have a big boy enema. I did that. Oh. I didn't poop for two weeks. Molly had to have a big boy enema. I did that. Oh. I didn't poop for two weeks.

Molly had to go to the A&E with her ex. I don't know how, he snapped his banjo string so he must have been playing the banjo and the string snapped and someone cut his hand.

He was doing a Muffin and Sons, yeah, Muffin and Sons cover. because they, banjo parts are often quite fast. My old flatmate

did that. My friend did it. Blood everywhere, apparently. Everywhere. Yeah. Horrible. Not me, my work colleague. Oh, yeah, okay.

Sure. Sure. How do you word this one? This has happened to a friend of mine. They engaged in some sexual activities, forgetting that they were menstruating and had a sanitary product in there. Okay. Which then got wedged further.

Oh, right. And therefore stuck. That's a surgical removal. Or the barbecue tongs. I'd be barbecue tongs before I went anywhere near an A&E. Who are you trusting with the tongs? It'll be a self-tongue job. No. It'll be all, oh no. It'll be a self-tongue job. No.

It'll be all, oh no. It'll be a self-tongue job. I would try, I'd get myself far more hurt trying to solve my own problems rather than embarrass myself further. That's quite common. I think the hospitals would see that a bit. If you got into a situation,

for any of these messages that have come in, would you call our friend Dr. Shawnee? No. No. No, never. No, too close. I would drive to Whangarei and go to an A&E there. I wouldn't.

When nobody knew you. Book a flight. And I'd be like, all right. Go to Australia. Go to Australia. You beep as you go through the metal detector because you've got barbecue tongs stuck up there when you're trying to fish out a tampon, and that's just your life now.

And it's so much worse. And they're like, how can it help you, mate? And you're like, well, I've come all the way here hoping you wouldn't recognise me. I listen to your bloody podcast. You're on TikTok. I once thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out I was just drunk.

A&E apparently say this all the time. Oh, dear. Burnt blistering leg from an exploding glass bottle of boiling water when making kombucha. Oh, you've got to be careful with those. Yeah. My girlfriend re-hated a roast and ate hot potato. Fainted, knocked her head, mild concussion. How hot's a potato that it's so hot you faint when you eat it?

I swallowed a whole lollipop stick and lollipop. I had to have emergency lung surgery. How old are you that you've swallowed a stick? And this is so yum. Do you know, I reckon there'd be a book in confessions of an emergency department nurse. Yes. That'd be great.

Like, what was that? The hotel airline one. Anonymous Yes. That'd be great. Like, what was that? The hotel airline one. Anonymous confession. Hospital Babylon. Because it was Hotel Babylon and Air Babylon. It was a bunch of anonymous confessions from people in the industry, and they wrote it into, like, a story. HarperCollins have confessions of a male nurse.

Confessions of a nurse. I need an emergency department. But we don't want the nurse doing the naughty things. We want the nurse telling us about the wild things they've seen. Yeah. an emergency department. But we don't want the nurse doing the naughty things. We want the nurse telling us about the wild things they've seen. Yeah. Hey, guys. Nurse here.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Once had someone over 75 years old come in with a sex toy stuck up their bum. Do you know what? Good for you, nanny. Good for you, nanny. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Flybys, thank you very much for one flybys point for every $20 spent for 30 years. For 30 years. Did it change? Who's on over's air points, cheeky shits? Remember, air points are like 1.20 and then they're like 1.25, 1.30, 1.40.

Westpac made their rates way lower for earning air points, so everything's kind of tightening up. I used to rake in the air points, but now I'm not Westpac. It's harder now. So Flyby is saying goodbye to Kiwis at the end of 2024 after three decades. At this stage, nothing changes. You can keep scanning to earn Flybuys. This is on their website.

They say you can still earn Flybuys until 11.59pm on the 31st of October and then you will have until 11.59pm on the 31st of December to redeem your Flybuys. In 2025, it will not exist. But in Australia, still going. Oh, really? Could you take your New Zealand flyby points? Okay.

No. 2,651 flybys points in the Smith House? Sorry? You messaged us saying that you tried to log on last night and you couldn't get on the website. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How many flyby points do you have? 2,651 currently.

Wow. Someone is rich. I've got like 12. I've never done it. I think I've got a card. I only got it because you can choose your own title. And I put Dr. Hayley Sprout. And it's the only place that I'm a doctor.

And I think I've got one maybe like power or something that's connected to it. And so I've got a couple. Why have you got so many? You can buy a TV. We did. When we first got a mortgage, it was linked up to that. There was one and the interest rate was more or less the same. But for every $20 you spent, you got a flyby.

We were creaming flybys at that stage. We don't do it anymore because we're bleeding. We're bleeding all over the floor with interest rates this high. Wait, what can you buy? Okay, I'm just looking. You just buy blenders. It's so stupid. Get a blender.

No, we got a massive blender. And then they didn't use it, so I got it. Get passed on the food processor. Okay, I'm just looking at where we got our fly-bys points, how we got so many. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We still get some, I how we got so many. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We still get some, I think we get credit card. Oh, yeah, okay.

And then it's all just New World. Yep. Which is our local supermarket. You should link that to Airpoints now. Oh, wait. New World has it on your New World card, right? But you can choose. That's where I get mine from.

You can either choose Airpoints or flybys. Oh, you know, I put mine on Airpoints. So you've got to switch it then. Yeah. I put mine on Airpoints. It you've got to switch it then. Yeah. I put mine on air points. It's all just bank and New World. I've got 122 points. Gorgeous.

Go on and have a look at what you can shop. Let's go cray-cray. You've got to look at what you can buy while Vaughan does the top six. Okay, okay. I'll be listening, but not really. The top six things to blow 30 years of flybys on. Number six on the list. An electric toothbrush. Oh, yeah. That blow 30 years of flybys on. Number six on the list. An electric toothbrush.

Oh yeah, that's a classic redemption. Yeah, classic. I've got this many points and then you feel like they're burning a hole in your pocket. Did they let you

top up cash to buy things? Oh yeah, okay. Yes, they did I think. I've done a split. Are you finding nothing Hayley? I can't even buy a fricking magazine.

Oh yeah, no you can't buy anything. I just saw a dish magazine, 230 points. I've only got 122. I'm not giving you any of mine. Number five on the list of the top six things to blow 30 years of flybys on, a mystery weekend. They still do those.

Nah, I don't know. But they used to. I remember that was a big flyby. And then they'd get sent to Timaru for the weekend. Now, lovely place if you mean to go there. It's a mystery. It is a mystery. But when you're expecting Queenstown. Yeah. You're sent to Timaru for the weekend. Now, lovely place if you mean to go there. It's a mystery. It is a mystery. But when you're expecting Queenstown.

Yeah. You're not expecting Timaru. Everyone wants Queenstown. You never get Queenstown. Nah. You don't get Queenstown. Number four on the list of the top six things to blow 30 years of flybys on. A food processor you'll use once or twice and then give to Fletch.

And then he'll probably use it once or twice. I don't know what happened to that. It's in the back of the cupboard. Is it still there? Yeah, it's still there. God, that thing had some attachments. Too many.

Too many attachments. That's why you gave it to me and that's why I didn't use it either. Yeah, it needs one attachment. You know what? A blade.

Stick blenders. That's where it's at. That's all you ever need. Immersion blender. I've got one. They're so good. They're good. Number three

on the list of the top six things to blow 30 years of flybys on. Camping equipment that will nearly cost you your marriage because your wife just doesn't know how to put up the tent. Even though you're giving her very straightforward instructions about the fact that it's a dome tent. So the pole goes, you put it all together, then you feed it through the middle and then you push it in. And basically where the peg was attached to the ground is a little rod went in. And then you put it in there and then that holds the shape, and then you clip the things onto that rod.

Just take a deep breath. Number two on the list of the top six things that you can blow 30 years of flybys on. Something that's currently out of stock, but you won't know that until you've spent the points and then you go to no-leaming, but then they're like, sorry, that's out of stock. You're going to have to email them to get your points back,

and then you have a game of bouncing emails trying to get your points back so you can spend a game of bouncing emails trying to get your points back so you can spend it on something else. Well, that won't be an issue soon, will it? That happened. And number one on the list

of the top six things to blow 30 years of flybys on, one knife from a knife set. You wanted the whole set, but you got it. Hayley recently just found out 126 points won't even get you a magazine. Well, I found out

what I'm going to buy. I found a bottle of wine for 85 points looks like rubbish wine but I'll buy that and an SD card and that's your points and that's my points

I'll have to top it up with a bit of cash okay but that's me SD card and a cheap bottle of wine RIP to RIP to Flybuys

to Flybuys RIP Flybuys from Dr. Hayley Sproul it'd be good if they made a thing where if you only had like 126 we could pull them. Yes, I was like, can I gift them to you to up your thing? Yeah. I'm going to get a real good blender I can come around

to your house and use. Because then I could almost afford an air fryer. You know I want an air fryer. That's the best top six. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Welcome to the show's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Welcome to the show. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Seven minutes past seven.

Your chance to win cash at eight o'clock with Human Shazam. My pick for Friday flashback. Where are you heading? I've got no idea. I'll be completely honest. I feel like we need a banger ahead of the long weekend, though. Yes, we do. An up, up, up long weekend.

Maybe something to do with the king. Kings of Leon. I'm just planting seeds. I'm planting seeds. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. King Kapisi. Another great idea from you.

Okay, this is great. Great ideas from you. This is great. Also coming up you. I've got, oh, this is great. Also coming up, final rankings today on the agenda. We will be ranking our favourite taco meats.

Ham. Wow. Ham? Oh, it's got to be ham. A ham taco. Are you kidding me? A ham taco. Oh, ham's my number one.

You're disgusting. You're disgusting and I want you to stop talking. I just spat out at the idea of having a ham taco. I hit a ham taco. Oh, ham's my number. You're disgusting. You're disgusting, and I want you to stop talking. I just spat out at the idea of having a ham taco. I know, that's disgusting. Also, yesterday was the Bougie, the government's budget. We're all getting about $15 to $20 a week. Which I've spent.

Already this morning on coffees. I've spent it on coffees. And later on at lunch, probably cocktails. That's your budget goal. I can tell this is the kind of day everyone. And later on at lunch, probably cocktails. That's your budget goal. I can tell this is the kind of day that we'll be out at lunch getting cocktails, being like, ow, ow, it's the budget. We got a tax cut.

And then you'll get the bill and be like, God, that was like $300. That's ridiculous. We're going to chat to Bad News Brad, economist soon, to see what it means for the everyday person with the budget announcement, what it means for, like, you know, your rent, your mortgage, your, what else? Any other questions? Your vegetables, which are coming down. Vegetables, yeah.

Not your meats, though. That's not coming down. That's why you've got to have a hand. Your tacos. It's cheaper. Your teachers, your nurses, your police officers. Yeah. They're all included in it. All the government.

So what does it mean for the Department of Conservation? And most importantly, what does it mean for those that are already well off and own multiple properties? Sure. We'll ask all of these questions with Bad News Brad soon. But next. The power of the identical twin. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Always wanted to be a twin I've got a best friend and we've been besties since we were three and we used to pretend we were twins but she's significantly shorter than me

and has very thick curly hair and we just look nothing alike Do you even look like sisters? No but what we did when we were like 17

we shared fake ID because we're white. We're white and... Just look the same. White and brunette. Yeah. But I've always been jealous of twins, especially identical twins. Now, there's some twins on the talk.

They're Ari and Noe. How would you say that? N-O-E. Noe. Noe. Noe? Noe? Like Zoe. Noe. Noe. How would you say that? N-O-E. Noe. Noe? Noe? Like Zoe. Joe.

No. It's spelt like that with a J, so I'd just say Noe. Or Zoe. Zoe. Noe. They're female. Ari and Noe. I'd say Noe.

We'll say Noe. They share their life as like identical twins on TikTok. It's a gender neutral alternative to Noah. Oh, okay. Noe. I'm putting Maori vowels on there. Yeah, yeah gender neutral alternative to Noah. Oh, okay. Noah. I'm putting Maori vowels on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say Noah. Hold on, here we go, here we go, here we go. We are looking at...

No, no, that's it. That's the guy who tells you how to pronounce names. More confusing names too many people get wrong, so stick into the channel to learn more. We don't need it. No way. No no way especially in spanish it'd be said as no way what is this guy's accent now in french also no way his name is julian i thought you were listening to something really naughty i know come on it felt like it was like

a quick moment i'm over here designing a bathroom on work time, but I'm not listening to anything filthy. I will not be accused. I will not stand here and be accused of listening to something filthy on work time when I'm just trying to get some ratios for a bathroom. I'm just trying to get enough leg room around the toilet. Anyway, so Ari and Noe, they share their lives. Oh, yeah, you don't want your thighs touching the wall on the toilet. No, you can't have that.

Please have a bit of room. This is not an issue. Look. Where's the door? Here. Okay, perfect, because you don't want the door coming in. It's a cavity slider. I think, oh.

You are filth. Guys. How can you do this? It's a tight space. You know my thoughts on cavity sliders. I've got one leading into my wardrobe. I hate them. Honestly, I'm embarrassed.

I hate them. Constantly need readjusting. I have to take out the door jamb, get out there with that stupid little angled spanner. How embarrassing. I thought with the budget yesterday they would have banned cavity sliders, but obviously not. I thought there would have been a bit of money put aside in the budget

so people don't need cavity sliders. So that you can apply for a real door. So if we could just please overlook the fact that I'm installing another cavity slider. There's lots of room here. I think that toilet needs to come down because if you've got fat thighs, they're going to hit that wall.

Aaron's knees will hit that sink. We're going to be using this. Because this is where we stay. We've had too much to drink. That's 3.6 metres across. Okay, anyway. Okay, you're all right. That's when he's at 900...

Where's the shower door? That's going to hit the sink. It's not going to have a shower door. You're just doing a glass. You're just open. It's going to have one of those... Okay, anyway. This isn't the block.

This isn't the block. I actually tuned out the moment he said he's putting in a cavity slider. Yeah. Anyway, Ari and Noah, why am I even talking about this? Imagine going to work this morning knowing you're going to have to install a cavity slider. Yeah. Anyway, I already know it. Why am I even talking about this? Imagine going to work this morning knowing you're going to have to install a cavity slider. How do you get out of bed? Like if you're in today's cavity slider day

and you're like, I don't want to go to work. Your wife's like, or your husband or your partner or whoever. Good save. Good save. I fumbled. I was almost like, oh, they, them? Yeah. God.

They're like, come on, get out, go to work. You're like, I can't. Today's cavity slider install day. They're like, oh, Jesus. Oh, my God, I'd be so embarrassed. Don't come home. I'd say that if I was the wife in bed. Don't come home.

Don't show your face around here. Anyway, the reason I'm talking about twins, if we can go back to this, though I do think we need to discuss the shower glass situation, is because one of them wanted to jet off for this little weekend holiday and the boss denied the leave. It was like, nah, not a good time. So they just straight up sent the twin in their place. Wait, and so she still went away on holiday?

Yeah. So Ari went on holiday and was like, I'm not missing this. I think it was she like popping off for like a festival, like a little quick getaway. What's her job though? Is it something that like you need to know what you're doing or is it just a job where? Well, she, for anonymity of the job,

didn't say what the job was. Right. But they have nearly a million followers on TikTok. The boss saw it and was like, what the hell? And she's in trouble. But did she do the job?

Yeah, the twin came in. The twin came in down, right? You can't do that. What's the job? I don't... They haven't said. Would you know if you... But then that. What's the job? I don't, they haven't said. Would you know if you. But then that's the thing, if it's a nurse or something.

Disciplinary action is being taken. Yeah, obviously like if it's a job, like you're a nurse or you've got. But if it was just like a desk job, would you notice if the person next to you was different? It'd be like a temp. If it was a twin. So they received an email and they shared it. They said, my boss saw the video that my twin posted covering me at work.

Let me be clear, the email reads, your decision to enlist your twin sister as a substitute while you gallivant. Oh, I love that one.

Ouch. As you gallivant off on vacation after your leave request was denied is completely unacceptable. It's a slap in the face to both your colleagues

who abide by the rules and the company that entrusts you with responsibilities. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Will not this behaviour, oh my god, this level of disregard for protocol and decorum. This guy sounds like a dick.

And I just said it was a guy, or woman, or person, or whatever. Frankly shocking. It will not be tolerated. Immediate explanation is needed. And then we'll work out a plan of action. So didn't get away with it. Didn't get away with it.

But if I was a twin, that's something I would love to do. Maybe I have a twin and you don't know. And I'm not actually Hayley. And I'm Jessica. And Hayley's off galloping, digging out of the world. Like that movie with Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. What movie? Where they're both magicians.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Christopher Nolan movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit, that's a good movie. That's one of the best. Have you ever seen that one? No. I kind of ruined it.

It's so good. I just kind of ruined it. No, stop talking and he can watch it. Oh, spoiler alert for what, 10-year-old Mervis? No, way older than that. Bad news, Brad joins us next. Yay! Just to talk to us and dumb down the budget for us.

It's called The Prestige. It's a very good film. Watch it, it rules. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Bad news, Brad. I forgot we got you a jingle, Brad. I forgot we got you a jingle, Brad. I forgot. How good is that?

It's great, Brad. Now, Chief Executive and Principal Economist at Infometrics, Brad Olsen, joins us. We have nicknamed him Bad News Brad because it's been bad news for years. Yeah. And the budget came out yesterday, Brad. What are the top lines? We're getting a tax cut?

You are getting a tax cut. I mean, depending on exactly what you're earning, if you've got kids, a few other factors will depend on just how much you're getting. But yes, tax cuts coming. To give you a bit of an example, if you took someone like the average income household in New Zealand with two kids, so that's a couple earning about $63,000 a year each, they would get about $2,600 in total back over the year. That's about $1051 a fortnight. A minimum wage worker getting around $25 a fortnight,

$650 a year. $12.50 a week. It's not huge, but it's something. And in the cost of living crisis, you know, I think a lot of people will take something over nothing. Oh, 100%. I don't mean to poo-poo a bit of money. But does it come at the cost, Brad?

Because some people might be, oh, $12 a week for me, but now I can't go and see a penguin because the environment's ruined. Like, what's the cost of getting $12 a week in the hand? You could be an economist with that sort of talk. This is great. Am I tuning in on Brad? And it's absolutely fine if I am. Look, there's definitely trade-offs.

I mean, the government's gone through about 240 savings initiatives by cutting stuff back across some of the public sector. Some of it, like, you know, I think there was $9 million over the next four years that they've cut out of economic development advice from policy analysts. That's not going to stop you seeing the penguins. But there's other things in there that, you know, might be coming through.

The likes of the prescription charges are now back on for most people. You don't have that half-price public transport and what have you going forward. So, yes, there's definitely some areas where you're seeing money pulled back in and other areas where you're seeing money pushed out. So if you just got $12.50 on minimum wage in a week, you lost, say you get a prescription, so that's $5.

You've got your $12, now you're down to $7. And if you take public transport, it's gone. You're actually in a worse off spot. Well, yes, but remember, that's $12.50 each and every week for your prescription charge, unless you're buying that each and every week for your prescription charge, unless you're buying that each and every week. That's only the first week that you're losing a bit of money. Well, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, to be fair.

She's always getting into bionics. That's fine. If you're getting multiple, there's a certain point where you get enough. It was like 10 in a year, and they basically become free at that point. So there are some things in the system that protect you from just going over and over and over and above, over the top. So, I mean, look, the tax cuts were the main focus. There's other bits and pieces.

There's more funding, health care overall. There's more funding for education, more money for the police. We're getting some new police cars and stuff. But, look, the main focus of our household, you know, I'm not going to see the police every day. I'm hoping that when I show up to the hospital, it's working. But for most people, I think they'll be interested in the tax cut because it's the first time in 14 years that those numbers have changed. I mean, the minimum wage earner up until this year, they've been paying into the 30% tax bracket, which is just insane.

I mean, it's the minimum wage. It should be something that is not as highly taxed as everyone else. Well, what's it going to mean for, like for people's mortgages and rents going forward? Because is this enough of a tax cut to make inflation stay around longer? Well, this is one of the questions that everyone has been asking. And to be fair, the only person who can decide that is Adrian Orr and the Reserve Bank and how they assess this. I mean, on one hand, I look at the numbers, I look at Treasury's forecast,

the economy looks a lot weaker than they first thought. And that means that they're effectively expecting from the Treasury forecast that inflation gets back within the target band towards the end of this year and that the government spending overall is less inflationary than it would have been if you go back six months. But the government, because of how much the economy isn't looking that great, the government

will be bringing in less tax than it thought before. It's cut spending as well, but the fall in its revenue has fallen even more, so it's got to borrow to bridge that gap. That's the sort of thing the Reserve Bank might be worried about. I don't think there's any justification for the Reserve Bank to look at the budget

and think they need to do anything different with mortgages. So you'll see a bit of relief to households now. The Reserve Bank said already that they're not keen to move interest rates anytime soon. So you'll get a little bit of support, but still a lot of challenge out there for people. So are interest rates going to come? When do you reckon they'll come down? Well, up until probably about a week ago, I would have said that we were thinking towards the end of this year was when the Reserve Bank would start cutting the official cash rate. Because of how stubborn inflation has been, looks like it might be early 2025. That doesn't work for me, Brad.

No! I'm refixing in December, Brad. Brad, I'm being bled like a pig, like a stuck pig. But importantly if you've been looking at bank rates in recent times they keep edging them down just a little bit. I need more than an edge. We don't say that

word around here. That word is banned. Oh Brad. We say ZM-ing down. ZM-ing them down? Yep. No, no, ZM is always going up for him, guys. Oh, yeah.

Good from you. He's running back. He's running back. Good from you. Oh, Brad, it's not what I wanted. He didn't get a tax cut. Piss off, Brad. He didn't need it.

I didn't, for a start, I didn't need a tax cut. But also, my tax cut doesn't cover the cost of everything else going up. It just doesn't. Surely it's better than before. You were not getting the tax cut. Spending a lot of money on the economic policy advice is not necessarily getting a better economy. I wish $12 a week would solve any of my problems, Brad.

Brad, can you talk to some powerful people and just sort this out? Thank you, Bad News Brad. Thank you. I'm trying. I'm working on it. Thank you. As a personal favour to a personal friend.

I'll tell them that Hayley Sproul said, look, her interest rate's on that red oak. Tell them we've got a radio station. We'll badmouth them. This occasionally works with businesses. Are we blackmailing them? Are we about to blackmail the Reserve Bank? I think so.

What a heist! What a heist! Love it. Thank you, Bad News Brad. Yeah, thank you for breaking that down for us, Brad. Thank you so much for having me and having a chat. Brad, were any promises broken? Yes, depending on how far you want to go.

I mean, one of the big ones that has been picked up is that the National Party during the election campaign says they'd fund a bunch of cancer drugs. They weren't able to do that in this budget. I think, to be fair, it's one of those things where allowing politicians to decide what drugs do or don't get funded is quite fraught, because everyone will always try and get their drug funded. You're better to leave Pharmac to it.

I know that sounds quite brutal, but actually, at the end of the day, there's not a huge amount of money to go around get their drug funded. You better leave Pharmac to it. I know that sounds quite brutal, but actually at the end of the day there's not a huge amount of money to go around for all these things. You can't fund every drug and you sort of need to take it out of the politicians' hands. That's the cancer ones. Cancer is such, so many people are affected by it. It's one of those horrendous

things that, you know, some cancers are becoming more treatable, can take care of it. Some other ones, obviously the rarer ones are the ones that, you know, it cancers are becoming more treatable, can take care of it. Some other ones, obviously, the rarer ones are the ones that, you know, it's such an emotive point to put forward, isn't it? To be like, we're going to fund cancer drugs, and then it rolls around and it's like, wow, there's not enough money. And they're very expensive.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, shit, yeah. Heaps. I don't know the exact figure, but I know they're expensive. I don't really have much more to say on that. Landlords are getting a little... Don't worry about the cancer.

An anonymous benefactor has just said $3 million for landlords instead of $270 million for cancer drugs. Ouch. We can't help everyone. Yes, the government has reintroduced interest deductibility. To be fair, I mean, everyone talks about that as a tax cut.

It should never have been taken off in the first place because that is a legitimate business cost. Right. But I will admit I think it's bad optics for the government that they're using $2.9 billion worth of funding, you know, for those. Anything in this budget for single guys with cats? He's fishing. Dude, you know, for those. Anything in this budget for single guys with cats? He's fishing. Dude, you don't need anything.

You don't need anything. I need a jelly meat subsidy. A jelly meat subsidy would be nice. Well, his two mates are like, help us, Brad. He's like, what about me? For all of the Excel spreadsheets I've got, I've not got that scenario in one of them. Okay, well, if you could just look into Jellymeat subsidies.

Look into that and send us a message. For cat owners, for cat owners, that would be great, Brad. Bad news, Brad Economist, thank you so much for breaking that down for us today. Really appreciate it. Legend. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's the final rankings. We do this every Friday.

We rank things. Today, tacos. Taco meats. Somebody messaged saying, what about vegetarian tacos? I say to you, they are the cavity slider of tacos. What do you put on a vegetarian taco? Before the show, Carlin was like, what about jackfruit tacos? Oh, yeah.

What about... Get out of here. ...cosalad tacos? If I was to go vegetarian Mexican, I'm going like bean mix, like a mince mix. Not a jackfruit. Yeah.

You ain't convincing nobody that that's pork. Jackfruit is yum, but it is just trying to be pork. And so why would you have jackfruit when you could just have pork? Because you're a vegetarian, I guess. I've got a list of tacos.

And we have agreed to actually take ham off the, shaved ham off of the table because it's clearly the winner. Shaved ham tacos are not a thing. You're yuck. We'll just leave that off because, you know,

otherwise it's not even a game. That's number one. Obviously, yeah. Do you know what I mean? So we'll just put shaved off because, you know, otherwise it's not even a game. That's number one. Obviously, yeah. Do you know what I mean? So we'll just put shaved ham to the side. Because pulled pork, right, like that's, it's always a winner. It's not mine. It's not mine.

I'm not a big pork eater. I don't love pork. But pulled pork. Yeah, it's fine. But it's not mine. Okay. Give us a list, Vaughan, so we can. Oh, there's heaps.

There's heaps. There's heaps. Give us the main ones Vaughan, so we can... Oh, there's heaps. There's heaps. There's heaps. Give us the main ones. Taco de canetas, slow-cooked pork. There's grilled steak, grilled chicken. There's slow-cooked goat. Barbacoa. Oh, no.

That's your beef. Writing off the goat. Yeah, yeah, Barbacoa. That's slow-cooked beef. Taco de canadas. That's slow-cooked pork. So that's your pulled pork. Yeah.

Grilled steak, bacon, cheese. What about your barge? Your barge? Your fish. That's my number one Fish rules, fish tacos Shrimp rules Shrimp tacos Shrimp tacos are in my top three

I think it goes pork, shrimp And then it's either going to be chicken or beef I'm going to Fish is number one for me What about mince tacos I will at a pinch When I'm Yeah but it's not a top three fish is number one for me. I don't F with fish tacos. What about mince tacos? No, get out. Yeah, I will at a pinch when I'm... Yeah, but it's not a top three

because if you were going to go beef, you'd go for like a steak. And if I'm going mince, I'm going nachos. Yeah, a nice cut steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thinly sliced steak. Steak, but barbacoa, which is your pulled stewy beef.

Yeah. I'd almost go that over a steak. Because that's like a pulled pork. Like a pulled pork, but less porky. It's just moist and juicy and your bite of juice just squirts out the other end of the taco.

Also, none of these are hard shell tacos. Get out with your hard shell tacos. They are the cavity slider of taco encasements. It's embarrassing.

They're inedible. They blow apart. You bite and they just go grr-a-toe! Yeah. But when you grew up, that was the only taco. It was.

We didn't have authentic tacos until like adult life. We've given a shout out before to Tia Pablo, which you can buy in the supermarkets. They have the most amazing stuff. The corn.

Oh, yeah. Traditional corn. And you give it like a little 10 seconds in a hot pan to heat it up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not run past the faras. Let's not run past the farras.

I'll go a flour taco. Is that a burrito or do they do tacos? No, no, your small flour, your normal little soft shell. They've got multiple sizes. They've got big ones for a burrito, medium-sized ones. Some as big as your head. Yeah. Okay.

So yours, number one. I'm going to actually – this is important, so I'm tallying up points. So number one is worth three points. Okay. Third is worth two points, third is worth – Okay. I'm going to go up points. So number one is worth three points. Okay. Second is worth two points. Third is worth one. Okay. I'm going to go pork, shrimp, beef.

Wait, wait. So pork's got three points. Beef. Shrimp has two points. And then beef. Hayley. Well, I'm surprised not to see a chicken on your list. Yeah, I'm going fish.

I love chicken, but normally in a taco, it's not that great. No, I do chicken. I would do chicken the most because it's easy and whatever. I'm going fish. Shredded chicken in a taco, it's not that great. No, I do chicken. I would do chicken the most because it's easy and whatever. I'm going fish. Shredded chicken in a taco, that's the only one that gets a little dry. No, I'd just go thigh, cut up. Yeah, cut up chunks, marinated. Yeah, a bit of spice.

So fish. Fish. Yeah. Beef. Yeah. Like barbecued, like pulled beef. Yeah. Chicken.

Chicken. Okay. I'm going to look at yours to make my decision. Go natural. Have you ever seen Vaughn so serious when it comes to final rankings? This is a man who loves his tacos. I love tacos. I know.

Especially on Tuesdays. I love Mexican food. If there was no weight gain ramifications. Mexican all the way. Every meal of the day. Have you had ranchos? Where was? Where was?

I certainly have. Are you kidding me?? Huevos. Huevos. Ranchos. Huevos. I certainly have. Are you kidding me? Yes. Are you kidding me? Spicy Mexican eggs. A guac. Are you kidding me?

Breakfast burrito. What could you live on? What cuisine? And people say Thai. I'm like, it's okay, but it's no Mexican. Yeah. Mexican is delicious. Or Texas is a bit of Tex-Mex.

A lot of it's Tex-Mex, yeah. I'd go, number one is pork. Mexican's delicious. Or Texas is a bit of Tex-Mex. A lot of it's Tex-Mex, yeah. I'm going to go... Number one is pork. Yeah, good. Number two is fish. Good boy. Like real chunky, flaky, white fillet fish. Are you going battered or just pan-fried?

No, no, no, pan-fried. Yeah, beautiful. Pan-fried. I'm not a fan of battered things in tacos. You let the coriander and you let the lime zest and stuff speak for it. Salsa. Yeah. Pineapple even.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pineapple. Pineapple salsa rules. Pineapple salsa also goes with pork. You know what we could do next with salsa. Salsas.

You're tomato based. Okay, what's your third? And I think third would have to be like beef. Okay. Like fillets. I think beef's going to win. I think beef, pork, and then fish. Okay, so pork has three.

Pork, six points. Because it's not even on my list, so I think I've got that off. Shrimp. How dare you? Shrimp has only got two points. Oh, that's embarrassing. Beef. Beef has one, two, three, four points.

About final ranking. Oh, shit. Pork wins. It's not even on my list. three, four points. I've never seen you so serious about final rankings. Oh, shit. Pork wins. It's not even on my list. Fish has five points. Oh! So it goes beef, chicken has one point. Yeah.

Chicken's a waste of time in tacos. I know, but you do it. So the winners in the following. Yeah. Third place, beef with four points. Yeah, good. Second place, fish with four points. Yeah, good. Second place, fish with five points. And the winner of final rankings, taco meats, pork with six points.

I'll take it. I'll accept it. Quickly for the vegetarians, carrot, peas, and corn. I guess it is a vegetarian taco as listed on the official Taco Guy catering. Tofu scramble with peas. Grilled mushrooms is one. Zucchini squash and corn is another. Potatoes, garlic, onions.

Oh, yeah, I've had an eggplant taco. Black beans and tomatoes. Grilled sweet corn. Roasted poblano peppers. Grilled avocado. Grilled avocado? Jesus, I'm running out of time. Grilled cactus leaves.

Oh, no, we're out of time. Okay, next. A celebrity always gets a compliment, which we want to delve into next. They stank nice. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, coming up at

8 o'clock, my pick for Friday flashback. An absolute banger. A sing-along banger. And then we've got the chance for you to win some cash with Human Shazam. And I've just been informed that it's a jackpot. So $400 is up for grabs soon with Human Shazam. I choked on my own spit. I inhaled so hard.

I did a real flitch there. Now, Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy, he's a bit of me. He's a good fletch there. Now, Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy, he's a bit of me. He's a good-looking fellow. Like a lover, rough, rough man. He looks like he might have been in prison. Does he do jujitsu or one of those kick-ass? Yes, he does.

He does, he does, he does. Not capoeira. Don't say that because I've just lost my... No, it's like he's a full-on... He does like tournaments and stuff and fights people. Tom Hardy, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu organisation Tom Hardy is a trustee and ambassador of the RE-ORG jiu-jitsu

to help people getting physical and mental aid. Yeah. And doesn't he rescue dogs? He just sounds so great. He sounds like a great guy. He sounds great. He'd be a lot of fun. I reckon he'd be a bit grumpy.

He, yes. Yes, you reckon. But kind of like you, Vaughn, where you're like, I don't want to do that. But he's a great guy. He sounds great. He'd be a lot of fun. Irish may be a bit grumpy. Yes. Do you reckon? But kind of like you, Vaughn, where you're like, I don't want to do that. But he's a lovely guy. Thank you. I'll take it. Any comparison to Tom Hardy.

Still a bit of a prick. A prick with a great face. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's our Vaughn. Now, is that a compliment? I'm not sure.

I'll take it. Now, he was doing an interview, and he said that one thing that he constantly gets is like, oh, my God, you smell so good. Like, he's just one of those guys where he just smells really good. I walked past someone yesterday, and they smelled good, but I didn't tell them that because that's creepy. I love being told that they smell good. But it was a stranger, and I was like, they smell so good.

So apparently he was like, he just wears a cologne that, it's a Jo Malone. We're talking money here. Are they expensive? A Jo Malone. Jo Malone is expensive. I recognise the name. I recognise the name.

Okay. It's that little kind of black and white branded thing. You always see it's got its own little stones. Jo Malone at Mecca. Jo Malone London. If you were to pop in and get, how big is this one? Tell me how many mils it is. I need to know how many mils it is. $274

for a 100 mil bottle. Oh, wow. Actually, my, because remember, I bought that perfume that's so expensive. You could get a $10, you could get a 10 mil spritzer there for $60. Yeah, we did girl math at once last year. So he wears the Cypress and Grapevine cologne intense.

Classic vintage and earthy is the smell. But he said it's just like his signature smell and he smelled good. And then it got us chatting about like people that just smell good. Do you know who always smells good? And I'll say it. Georgia Bear. And I think it's Georgia's shampoo. Because often she comes in straight from the gym having washed her hair

and she's got good smelling hair. We get her straight after the gym every day whereas I think at the end of the day I don't know if she smells. Oh, there's been reports Brie and Clint have actually

complained about the smell of dirty hair. Between the hours of nine and three it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and if you open that studio door That shampoo can only

cover that rough guts for so long. For so long. We get her fresh. Yeah. But no, you're right. She does always smell great in the morning. In the morning?

Yeah. Bright and beautiful. Yeah. And I, like the perfume I bought, but I'm not wearing it currently because I've got eczema. Yeah. But is because I, there was this one person I worked with all the time. I'd be like, oh my God, what is that? And so I bought that perfume so that I could be, oh, my God, what is that?

Does it work on you as well as it does them? 100%. Whenever I wear it, Santel 33, it was like quite a famous perfume a couple of years ago. Every time I wear it, people are like, oh, my God, Santel 33. And you're like, yeah, man. Yeah, man. Somebody, I was seeing someone many, many, many, many, many moons ago. And she used to wear Davidoff cool water.

Right. You heard of that? Yeah. It's a perfume. Yeah. And I was like, man, that smells good. And then someone else later on had it. And I was like, why doesn't it smell the same?

It's because she used to smoke ciggies. And Davidoff cool water. And there was something about the mix of the ciggies and the cool water. Maybe it was the added menthol. Because tobacco is quite a popular scent these days. Yeah. We've got a tobacco candle. It doesn't smell like fresh durries.

No, it doesn't smell like durries. It smells like the leaves. It smells like tobacco leaves being dried. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we want to know, do you smell good and why? And maybe it's a combo. Maybe like it was the David Off Cool Water, but that wasn't the perfume you were lifting.

There was something about when it interacted with the cigars. Do you always get complimented for your smell? Well, you do. And what is it? What's the secret? Everyone smells Fletcher's like, oh my God, you smell so good. He's like, it's deodorant.

It's literally Nivea deodorant. But you do have the secret weapon of the twink bait. I've got the Eros Red. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's Eros Red. People ask about that quite a bit. He's like Pepe Le Pew. They follow him like Pepe Le Pew. Like he's wearing it and they're floating behind him just like.

It's like Burley. It's like, oh, check a bit of Burley. He'll stand upwind and just like, he'll stand in the upwind like this and they'll all just like start swimming upstream to him. That's Versace. That's Versace, baby. That's Versace, baby. It's Versace.

Well, let's, because maybe you want to smell better. Yeah. We'll help you. Okay. 0800-DOLL-ZDM, text 9696. Do you smell good and why? It is. Ella, you always get asked what you're wearing.

Yeah, I do. First of all, long-time listener, first-time caller. Yes. Yes. On a Friday. Welcome. Nice. We like this.

Welcome. Oh, we like it. Welcome, Ella. Welcome. Okay, we like this. Welcome. Oh, we like it. Welcome, Ella. Welcome, welcome. Okay, so what is it that you're actually wearing? Why are you staying good? So I have the OG Taylor Swift WandaStruck Enchanted from like 10 plus years ago.

Oh my God. Do they still sell that? No, they don't. I dug it out of a drawer that was at my parents' place, dug it out of a drawer after so many years. We sat in there and just started wearing it again. And I just get compliments left, right and centre. But this is bad, though, because every squirt, it's less in the bottle.

We have been informed this perfume is a massive deal for Swifties, worth so much money now because they can't get it. Yeah, I've heard that, too. I've seen people selling remnants online for ridiculous amounts. Do you just do a single squirt? It's not a cult, though. I do want everyone to remember. Remembering being a Swifty is not a cult.

Being a Swifty is not being a cult. Paying ridiculous amounts of money to smell like something from 10 years ago when you're only getting a quarter of the bottle. Not a cult. But you're getting compliments, so it must be a good fragrance. So is it special occasions only? Yeah, probably. I try not to be too, you know, I it special occasions only? Yeah, probably. I try not to be too,

you know, I try to be kind of generous with it, but yeah, I just end up saving it really. I just water it down so there's just an essence of it. Ella, thank you. Shay,

your partner uses your spray and gets compliments. Yeah, I'm actually quite annoyed now that I'm listening to all these other people talk about how nice they smell and how they get compliments, whereas it's my partner that actually uses my perfume and gets all the compliments.

So wait, when you use your perfume, nobody says anything? Well, it's sort of like a normal smell for me, I guess, because I always tend to wear it. So when he wears it, it's kind of like a novelty. And I'm like, oh, careful. Is it kind of a unisexual spray? Not at all. Which one is it?

It's Rihanna nude. Dude, it's Rihanna nude. Your boyfriend's wearing Rihanna's. Amazing. This is great. It's not expensive. I'm not even kidding. No, it's not expensive.

I just found it at Chemist Warehouse for 30 buck. What is the, is it kind of like, what does it smell like? It's like a, I don't know. It's described here as a sweet, floral, fruity fragrance that is sensual and provocative. It is an uninhibited scent. Oh, man. I sort of get it. If you mixed it with a bit of man juice, you know, I'm like, I get it.

That's what I'm talking about. The perfume with the ciggies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's adding something. He's adding a bit of stink. With a man's stank. Shay, thanks. You're cool.

So many messages and texts. We'll get to more of those next. When you get told you smell nice? What's making you smell nice? What's getting you the compliments? This is actually a really good list because I'm in the market for a new scent. Yeah, great. I also think you've got to change it up every now and then.

Like that lady before who said she doesn't get the compliments, but her husband does. It's because she wears it every day. It's become her smell. I love changing it up. You've got to change it up. Yeah. Someone messaged in saying, I'm a farmer,

so any time I shower, my wife is stoked. Yeah. Someone messaged in saying, I'm a farmer, so anytime I shower, my wife is stoked. Yeah, go on. When you go away on holiday for two weeks and you finally start smelling like cow shit, then you've got to go back to being a farmer. I smell good when I wear my Yesatus by Givenchy.

It's the only perfume I like. Have you guys heard of that? Never heard of it. I don't even know if you're saying that right. No, I'm definitely not. Givenchy? My go-to. Givenchy? They put the B in it. I don't even know if you're saying that right. No, I'm definitely wrong with it. Givenchy? They put the B in it. I thought Givenchy, but

it's got a B in it. And I don't know because sometimes there's multiple things in there. Someone puts a dryer sheet in their pant pocket. That's a great idea. I think fabric softener sometimes, eh? It's like, that's nice. It's the smell of comfort.

Yeah. My go-to is Kama Sutra. We call it the Indian love potion. Always get told I smell nice. Okay. I looked it up. It's actually a fragrance. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought it was just post-Kama Sutra. You're all sweaty and bendy. Oh, no, no, no. Although that'll do it. Solgineiro is... I always get asked what I'm wearing. Solgineiro, yeah. I've got kids.

I've got soon-to-be teenage girls. I know all about that. There's 12 different coloured bottles lining. Dad, oh, my God, that is so embarrassing. You bought a jupe? Oh, my God, Dad. Dad, it's number 40. Solgine Nero, Dad.

Oh, God, Dad, can you take us to Mecca? I want to spend money. Your money. Tell him to get a job. My mum wouldn't even buy me leeks, Africa. Tell him there's fruit in the bowl and go for a walk. Do you know what I mean? I always get asked what I'm wearing

and it's CK1. That is a classic. It's a classic. I'm a man in my 30s and whenever I put on my perfume, mind you, it's Chanel Bleu, no one notices. But if I put on my wife's perfume,

Madame Wazow from Chanel, lots of women notice it and say, man, you smell nice. It's the man mixing with the female fragrance. Also, women wearing a cologne. It's nice. Yeah. Deep. A musky lass.

Musky lass and a fruity boy. We're bisexual when it comes to perfume, aren't we? Yeah. We are. Very much. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Become ZM's next Human Shazam.

Hello, Clint. Good morning. Good morning. Welcome to Human Shazam. If you are a Human Shazam and you can get this first, if you can get this first up, $400 because it's a jackpot. If you need a bit more of the song, it will drop the amount to $200. And if you need a bit more of the song because it's a jackpot, $100.

Okay. Are you ready? I am. I think it's hard today. I'm going to say it. Listen. Don't curse it. Are you ready?

Here we go. Okay. Oh. Oh, she's got it. That's the reason. She's got it. She's got it. Name of the song and the artist.

It's The Weekend. That is. Yep. That part's correct. You know every lyric. What is the name of the song? Yes, I know. You know every lyric. What is the name of the song? Yes, I know. She told me.

She told me. She's going from the start. Oh, is it Starboy? Oh, no. No. It's not. It's not. Oh, you were so close.

What do you like? No. I can't feel my face. Oh, that's it. I was like, keep singing till the chorus. Okay, this means that the jackpot is now $600? Yeah. $600.

Wait, $800? $800. Oh, because it's four. Oh, yeah. Holy moly. Oh, wow. Look at Georgia's face. That's a lot of fructose shampoo, Georgia Burt.

We've just been discussing what shampoo she is. It's a lot of fructose shampoo. A lot of fructose. $800 is up for grabs at midday with Georgia. Thanks for playing, Brooklyn. Unfortunately, though. No. Friday Flashback.

You, every single lyric, could not name the song. Now, today, for Friday Flashback, I have chosen a song on your... I know. This was your idea,

This was my advice. A song released on 2008 and choosing this song because the artist, Kings of Leon, has King in the title. And this weekend, if you've forgotten, if you don't know, is the long weekend for King's birthday. RIP to the Queen. That's not what we're celebrating.

We're not celebrating that. King's birthday is not in celebration of RIP the Queen. No. We're honouring the one, the only, the great King Charles. And so Kings of Leon have chosen a song. She's a fangirl much? He, tell me I'm wrong. He is so hot.

Tell me I'm wrong. You're a fingers girl. You love those chubby fingers. You know it. The song that I've chosen, I've just gone for the absolute. You got it. Their know it. The song that I've chosen, I've just gone for the absolute You got it. Their banger. The biggest song from Kings of Leon, 2008

the song was released. So what does that make? The 16... Is that good math? Yep. 16 years old. 16 years old. The song is 16 years old. No, wait. What year did it come out? 2004. 2008. Okay, yeah.

It's your Friday flashback. Yeah! Kings of Leon. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Good feedback. Oh, yeah. I was waiting for you to... Absolute banger killed it.

Wow, okay. Kings of Leon. I get great feedback and you decide not to tell me. Now, someone did say, oh, my ass is on fire. Now that feels like... That could be a bad breakfast situation. No, that was like the parody, remember? That was like the little kids parody.

Also, just a quick update before we get into Shannon's hack. You would have heard Bryn with Bracky News read the jet stuff. Now, police have been notified of an aircraft sliding off a runway in Christchurch. Now, this accident happened at 7.45 this morning. There are no reports of injuries. The aircraft will be towed to the gate for passengers to disembark. So where's the wheels? The wheels are still on.

It sounds like it slid off the runway. Oh, okay. Whether it turned off. Not a belly, not a belly skirt. It's landed and then obviously turned off. No, no, no, no. Jesus, imagine if it was a belly skirt. Well, that's what I was, I thought, I was like,

how dramatic are we talking? Well, no, it sounds like if you know people on that Jetstar flight, passengers will be disembarking. And they're A-okay. And everyone's A-okay. Details at this stage are quite light, but we'll update you when we know more. But, yeah, no need to panic completely.

We just had a little bit of a skid mark. Yeah. Now, five stars max for Shannon's Hacks. We need to get an intro made for this. We do, actually. We head to the social media slash cuddles slash snacks slash. Garfield colouring. Garfield colouring desk slash now the hacks desk.

Now, so far, we have not rated you any higher than a 3.5 out of 5. So far, your hacks have been open up a VIP party room at your flat when you're having a party so people turn up for your party, which is silly. And what was your hack the other day? Cut the sandwich into three so that you've got more pointy edges i like i like that one we gave it 3.5 well don't worry five stars coming at you at shannon's hacks here we go so because it does feel a bit like one of those videos you're watching and it's like uh five minute craft hat you're watching it and it takes three hours and it was dumb.

And they're like, pour concrete into an empty milk carton and now you've got yourself a new shoe. Yeah, yeah. I love that. Yeah. Well, today,

I need you to imagine end of a night out. Oof. Phone is dead. Oh, no. You've lost your friends and you need to get home. Oh, God, been there.

Okay. Stressful, right? Yeah. You can't call an Uber. No, because I went home early. friends and you need to get home. Oh, God, Ben, they're stressful, right? You can't call an Uber. No, because I went home early. I was tucked up in bed. Those are Bourne's hacks. I was tucked up in bed. Okay, well, this is a Hayley's hack then.

Okay. So your phone's dead, you need to get home. What do you do? Can't call an Uber. Yep. Head to your local kebab shop because you need a kebab. You need some food. Yep.

You say, hey, can I order this kebab for delivery to my home address? Give them your home address. They say, yep. They charge you, what, $5 delivery maybe? You say, awesome. Can I hop in? Who's delivering kebabs? This is, I've never in my life seen a kebab place that delivers it.

If they do, it's on a scooter. And they only deliver within like a kilometre or two radius of the kebab shop. Hop on the back of the scooter, have a lovely embrace with the kebab man. You could do that. No helmet. But now you're home for like what, five bucks and you've got dinner waiting for you. No, you'd have to do this on Uber.

So you'd have to go Uber Eats nearby. Yes. Find the place on Uber Eats or whatever, DoorDash or whatever you're using. Because no, you've said the phone's flat. Okay, well maybe you found a power bank. Well then you can just get an Uber. I'm going to get five stars here.

We've gone down to a one because you've just ruined your own head. This is yet the dumbest thing to come out of your mouth. No. What small hole in the wall kebab place also offers a delivery at 3 in the morning? Why do you say kebab? It's kebab.

I've always said kebab. I know. It's kebab. I know. I'm wrong. There's no R in kebab. I'm not saying kebarb. I'm saying just kebab.

I come from a higher education than you and I put a fancy vowel in there. Do people in Southland say kebarb? Or do they say kebab? Kebarb. Kebab. It's just kebab. I really want abab. Kebab. It's just kebab. I really want a

pork kebab. No, this wouldn't work. There are no delivery kebab places. Also, an Uber Eats driver is never going to let you get in the car. Yes, they will if you said, listen, I'm hungry, I'm tired. I'm hungry, I'm drunk and my phone doesn't work. You are delivering that to my house.

Yes, can I just hop in with you? Yeah. And then you could even say, I'll tip you later or something. Also, funny if they say no. I didn't mean like that. I didn't mean like that. Funny if they say no and then deliver your kebab and it's there waiting for you to get home.

And it's cold. And you've still got to find your drunk ass home. There's a hedgehog nibbling at it. Oh, cute, though. No, they're a pest. Kebab is the American pronunciation. Kebab is the British. Yeah.

Well, we say kebab. So I'm saying kebab. Kebab. Like an American. Oh, my God, kebab. Let's get a kebab. Shish kebab. Stop putting an R in there.

Oh, my God, I'm so hungry, man. I need a kebab. I need a kebab. It's kebab It's a keybob Getting back to this I need a keybob One star One star One star

And I only got Zero stars an option? It is Zero stars Zero stars Can you take this back Someone's text through That there's a place

In Stratford That does it If you find yourself At what time is it shut Stratford Strat in Stratford that does it. If you find yourself out, what time is it shut? Stratford. Stratford. Stratford. My eyes don't work.

I can't see that far. Stratford. Wait, there's a place in Stratford? Stratford is Sahara Kebabs and Grill, 2.30. Stratford closes at 8.30. And it only does delivery from 5.30pm to 8.30pm. Okay, can I change my scenario? Bottomless brunch has ended.

Your phone is dead. You're in Stratford. Okay, they don't do bottomless brunches in Stratford. It's a tiny town. Can I have like two stars at least out of one star? Bottomless brunch. I'm just going to check it. Stratford.

No, it's not a thing. Not Stratford-upon-Avon. Stratford-Taranaki. not a thing. Not Stratford-upon-Avon. Stratford. Taranaki. I'm looking. I'm in Auckland. I'm looking in Auckland for kebab delivery. But you're right.

They do them on e-bikes now and scooters. It's never happening. No. It's a stupid. I'll give you one star for a little bit of ingenuity there. I'll give you zero stars because you excited me with this talk about kebabs and then let me down with this dumb hack. The people are also coming in here. I agree.

Look, we believe in you 100%. A five-star hack is inbound, but today is not that day. Zero out of five. Damn it. I'll be back soon. My mum and dad have done this with a pizza delivery guy. Thank you.

Pizza? They do deliver, famously. Yeah, but that sounds like there was a car. Most of them are on... The ones that I get... Her hack... My local ones are all scooters. It was kebab.

Yeah. And so we have to take it at the hack that she's presented. And it was dumb. Terrible. Okay. Try again. Zero to five. We'll try again.

Next on the show. Sarah stars Max for Shannon's hack. Next on the show, I went for a little solo beer and it backfired. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Yesterday I had a hair appointment and then I had to kill some time until I was meeting up with a friend. So I thought I'll just take myself for a little

beer. It felt like a beer. I don't often drink beer at all but I was like man I feel like a beer. And there's this big brewery up in town and I was like I want to head to the brewery. A beer? A self date. A little. A self-date. A little self-date beer. Okay.

This is good for the soul, because if we ever order, like, takeout or something, I'll go down as soon as I order, because it'll be ready in 25 minutes, and I'll get down there, and I'll just sit, and I'll have a beer. Yeah, it's lovely. And it's nice. And beer poured out of a keg just tastes different. It was like I got a pint. Yeah, pint in a nice pint glass.

I got an Irish stout because, you know, yesterday my head was really in Ireland for many reasons. And I went and I got a raving Irish stout. And I was like, fantastic. I got my stout. You can't have a guinea out of a can anymore once you've had a pool guinea. A guinea from a thing. No, I know.

So I went and I got my little stout and then I found, I went into the little, and I sat in the corner of this place. I was like, this is lovely. I have a quiet beer and then I'll go about my day. And so the assassins can't sneak up on you. Then the assassins. Yeah. That's why I never have my back to the entrance of anywhere.

Always in the corner. Always in the corner. Less to watch. Then, right, I was like, right, I might put my headphones in, you know, watch some Instagram or listen to one of my books drink a beer then out of this is quite a

random pub it's not one I go to often out of the blue my friend turns up and he looks at me across the room and he's like

and he literally mouths to me what the are you doing here and I mouth back to him what are you doing here and he comes over and he gives me a hug

and he's like what are you doing I said well I was just I don't mean to be weird but I was just having a little quiet beer on my own before I go about my day and I gives me a hug and he was like what are you doing I said well I was just I don't mean to be weird but I was just having a little quiet beer on my own

before I go about my day and I said what brings you here he said I've just popped in for a quiet beer on my own before I go about my day

and he popped in for a solo beer on his own so we solo beer'd together he got a beer oh you didn't solo beer then no I know I know

I think we both felt like we'd ruined each other's day yeah you know what I mean like he's just popped out. He'd come from home and he was off to somewhere. I'll pop in.

He didn't want to talk to you. I know. He didn't want the effort required to maintain a conversation with you. No, he didn't. And then we were each sort of chatting for 30 minutes and ruining each other's solo beers. And then we went about our days. Did you talk heaps or just kind of sit there?

No, we did. We caught up. I remember her saying, hey, how are you? And then just going and sitting by myself. Yeah. I don't think there's, yeah, I think we both should have said, upon reflection, as I look at it now, we both should have said, well, we're here for a quiet solo beer before we go about our day.

Let's do just that. Yep. But we didn't. We caught up. But anyway, go for a, if you feel like having a little solo date, be it dinner or a beer or a wine. A movie. You've got to do it. Oh, yeah.

A movie. It's good stuff. And getting a burger beforehand. Oh, my God. Solo burger. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fact of the day is next.

It's beer week. It is. Speaking of. Last fact. Yeah, different sorts of beer. Yeah. This is a B-E-A-R, not a B-E-R. Unless, of course, you were just going out for a solo B-E-A-R.

No, no, no. The other one. Right, okay. Yeah, good. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Is he doing that? He pressed the button. He's a cute little bear. He got into the bunker. Did he get into a bunker and press a button? The night, the date in question, October 25th, 1962.

If you know anything about the history at the time, America was in the middle of the Cuban Missile Crisis. This was when Russia was sort of building nuclear missile launch stations on Cuba. Cuba. So they could hit the mainland of America easily should it all go down. America, obviously, not happy about that. There was this staunch, intense standoff. 13 days, America was like,

you've got to remove those missiles, which was weird because they were doing exactly the same thing in Turkey. But often the hypocrisy of war is not recognised by those involved. Yes. Wow. Put that on a horse?

No. Spoil the calendar, I think. War is not recognised by those involved. Yes. Wow. Put that on a horse? No. Spoil the calendar, I think. The US military is at DEFCON 3. Okay. That means that the Air Force had to be ready to mobilise and within 15 minutes to shoot down nuclear weapons. Yep. And also set off nuclear weapons.

Right. Strategic Air Command, the bulk of the US nuclearS. nuclear arsenal at DEFCON 2. One step above nuclear war, which is DEFCON 1. Right. So, very tense. Midnight, October 25. A cute little bear could smell the food being cooked in the Duluth Sector Direction Centre in Minnesota. Yeah.

And so he's like, I'm a bear. What am I going to do? So he crawled under the fence, which set off an alarm. And a sentry guard on the local sentry, the alarm went to him. Yeah. Now, he's got two alarms. One alarm is that he believes that the Soviets have breached the base. Like a Soviet force has somehow got into America.

A spy is sneaking in. And beside that is that another one where he has seen an incoming missile. Right. Oh, he hit the wrong one, didn't he? He flicks down the missile alarm. Oh, he panicked. He panicked. He panicked.

He flicked down the wrong alarm. So then it is panic stations, sirens. Everything starts going off. The National Guard, they're all the pilots are getting to the aircraft. Nuclear weapons are... Oh, the bunkers are opening. The missile silos are opening. And then the guard's like, I pulled the wrong lever.

Freaking out. I pulled the wrong lever. The guys out. I pulled the wrong lever. The guys are getting in their planes. They're too late. Communications off. They're getting in the planes. They're getting ready to take off. Is there not a control alt delete?

Not a control Z to undo it. So he runs. The guard runs and, like, screams, like, I've switched the wrong one. The planes are, like, getting ready to take off. A guy jumps in a truck and drives out over the runway so that the planes can't get past them. And it is just avoided of the launching

of missiles and planes that would have during that extremely tense time kicked it off. So they shot in the direction of where the intruder was coming in and somebody saw a bear running back into the woods. Oh my God. So today's fact of the day. Naughty bear.

But dumb. Yeah. Dumb mistake. Dumb mistake from the sentry guard. So today's fact of the day is a bear nearly kicked off a nuclear apocalypse. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

And Bryn joins us for an update on the earlier breaking news. Hi Bryn joins us for an update on the earlier breaking news. Hi Bryn. Good morning. A bit of a situation in Christchurch this morning. A Jetstar A320 has slid off the runway while landing. Police say they were called to the airport when JQ225 landed just before 8. That was coming from Auckland. There are no reports of injuries.

A colleague of ours, Diana, is on the plane and says they landed normally on the main runway before the plane began swerving. Apparently we went off on a side runway and then we swerved across the grass a little bit wildly and we've ended up on the main runway at a 45-degree angle, part on the grass and part on the runway. Now, the aircraft is going to be towed to the gate so passengers can disembark. All planes have been suspended coming and going from the runway. Now, the aircraft is going to be towed to the gate so passengers can disembark.

All planes have been suspended coming and going from the airport. Oh. So a few delays if you're heading into Christchurch today or waiting. I guess those delays as well will be kind of knocked on, won't they, around the place? Yeah, it'll impact the whole day, won't it? Yeah, so if you're flying today,

maybe just check the arrivals and departures. Gosh. Crazy. It's not quite a belly. Bryn, I did think it was a full belly. Wheels didn't come out. Crash landing. I had much more dramatic things in my head.

Yeah, I know. There are actually two girls in the office here who are flying Jetstar to Christchurch this afternoon. I think they're a bit panicked. Yeah, right. I mean, it does happen often, does it? And how's your love life? Have you dated any more clairvoyants? We should touch base on that just while you're here.

Look, business as usual for me or tickety-boo, single. Single and tickety-boo. Single and tickety-boo. Single and tickety-boo. That should be new. That should be new. Are you single? Are you taken?

Are you married? Are you separated? Are you single and tickety-boo? Can you say that at the end of your news broadcast from now on? I'm Bryn Rudkin, single and tickety-boo. Next on the show, it's the impossible phone-in topic. Yes, have you broken something very rare? It's been a while.

It has been a while. It has been a while. It's been a while since the impossible phone-in topic. A topic we think is so impossible, we're either going to get no calls or very few. Yeah. Well, this is from Mexico. Mexico's Federal Archaeology Agency. Federales.

I'm watching medical, Saul. The federal agent's called Federales. I'm watching medical, Saul. The federal agent's called Federales. Well, they're looking into an incident that's happened at the museum or the National Institute of Anthropology and History because during

some recent renovations they had to move some mummies. Some very, very old mummies. They're the ones when the museum's shut that come to life, aren't they? Overnight. Yep. And then go back in the tombs. That's what I thought when I went as a child to the Auckland Museum

and saw a mummy, and then I thought, and then we went on holiday down the Coromandel, and in my imagination the mummy woke up, remembered me, and started walking towards where I was sleeping, not being able to be stopped. And I had nightmares for weeks. And I made my parents prove to me that the mummy was still in the Auckland Museum.

Well, they went back and took you there? Or did they call up someone? They called someone, as I recall. Well, they're quite gruesome. This particular mummy was buried around the early 1800s, dug up in the 1860s because the families could no longer afford the land. Oh, yeah.

And then put on quite a grisly display case. Like, it's just some standing up mummies in this Mexican museum. Yeah, like they're basically like skeletons, right? Basically, but they've got mummified, so you've got a bit of skin and facial features there. No, I thought they were wrapped up in toilet tissue. So while they were doing some renovations, they had to move some of these mummies, and during that time,

apparently the arm of one of these mummies came off. Uh-oh. Due to lack of education and mishandling by museum staff. If that was you, would you just be like, glue it back in or like bandage it up? I'd lean it back up against it so the next person that touched the mummy thought they broke it. Thought they'd broken it, yeah. Yeah.

So they're looking into it, like trying to like educate people on the proper way to do this. Anyway, there's no changing it. You've broken it. Yeah. You've broken a like what, how many year old mummy? Hundred and a lot.

Yeah. That's just, when we can't do maths on the fly that's what we say. 200 and a lot. It's a lot. 200s of a lot years old. Yeah. So this is the impossible phone and have you broken something extremely rare? Yes, or expensive.

Like immensely expensive. Maybe you've worked for a moving company. Because I used to obviously move pianos around a bit. And I used to chat with the movers about, you know, like stuff they've moved. And when they've had to move really expensive things for like millionaires. Oh, no way.

The amount of stuff you have. Like putting Fabergé eggs in boxes. And you're like, screw that. They've got the insurance though. Well, you've just been... I know, but if it's rare, if it's like this, you can't just buy a new one. Well, you've just been in a store and knocked something over

that you would never be able to afford to buy. Yeah, right. Maybe they've been like, hey, you need to pay for that now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, it's the impossible finding topic. 0800-DARN-CDM is the number. Give us a, it's the impossible finding topic. 0800-DANCE-IT-EM is the number. Give us a call now.

Text through 9696. Have you broken or damaged something extremely expensive or rare? Give us a call. Some Instagram responses. Amy said, I didn't break it, but I once buried an antique sword in my grandparents' garden and we just never found it again. As a child, if you're going to bury something, you've got to make a treasure map.

Yeah. You have to leave a map. You've got to say how many edges and dip it in tea. And, of course, X marks the spot. Yes. To making treasure maps. It's so fun. Remember when we did that last year?

That was fun. We should do it again. You're going to get a middle detector, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you would. Yeah. Once I nannied for a boy in a $20 million home.

Jeez. No thanks. No, no, no, no, no. And he broke a priceless piece of art. Oh, good. Even if you broke it, you'd say. You'd blame the kid. You'd blame the kid.

I broke the only flush toilet on the Gallipoli Peninsula during an Anzac Day tour. Oh, no. That's from Em. Jeepers. You'd be like, you'd walk out and you'd be like, that was like that

when I got here. Yeah. I want everyone in this line to know that was already like that. Guys, there is a text that we're going to

read out very soon that is so funny and so dark. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. The impossible phone-in topic. We want to know if you've broken something rare or very expensive

because staff at a Mexican museum were moving mummies and broke an arm. Snapped an arm off. Now, I don't think we've quite hit anyone ruining a museum... Artifact. ...artifact from hundreds of years ago. But, wow, there are some expensive whoopsies. Yeah. For sure.

I was on a school trip when I was seven and a boy knocked over a $15,000 crystal in a shop. It smashed into thousands of pieces. His family had to pay for it. No, F off. That's what they said. Oh, my God. It also sounds like the shop would have insurance. Yeah. Maybe had to pay for it. No, F off. That's what they said. Oh, my God. That also sounds like a shot of insurance.

Maybe they pay the excess, but then also that's a great way of getting your kids to never touch anything ever again. That family had to pay for that. I reckon if that was me, my parents would have made me wait outside every store going forward ever. Leashed up and tied to the post outside. When I was a kid, I dropped my strawberry sherbet ice cream on the Smith & Coie's white shag pile carpet. Oh no! And now they've had to close. That's on you.

They've never financially recovered from cleaning that rug. From the strawberry stain on the pink shag pile carpet. Now this one doesn't fit into the rare or expensive category but my sister and I broke one of those life-size standing singing dancing Santas at the local Christmas shop. Oh dear. Those could be expensive, I suppose,

if it's a specialty item. Surely they're expensive. I want to break Santa. We had a large antique vase that was five greats old. So the person who bought it was their great-great- great-great-grandparents. I reckon that sounds tacky. I had socks on down a long

water hallway. Well, you're an idiot. And I ran and I was like, slide, and whacked it at full speed. Handle popped off when it hit the ground. That's lucky. They just glued that on. They won't even notice. They glued it back on, got away with it until we moved houses. And then the movers were just like, this has got a cracked handle.

We're not, like, this is the investigation. We said we have to look at it first. Yeah. We had to lift a huge sculpture from the middle got a cracked handle. We're not, like, this is the investigation. Oh, we have to look at it first. Yeah. We had to lift a huge sculpture from the middle of a water feature. The owner said, I won't tell you how much it's worth, but don't break it, whatever you do. I trust you. We had a digger on site, but I said to the boss,

we needed a crane or at least a tally handler because our digger didn't have the reach nor the power. Oh, a digger's not that. They're not lifters. They're diggers. And it requires a delicate Oh, a digger's not that. They're not lifters. They're diggers. And it requires a delicate machine, a lifting machine. Boss said, nah, digger will be fine. Stropped it up.

No. Gently does it. Nah. Shattered on the concrete. Funny. Shattered. Shattered when it fell. Did they then find out how much it was worth?

Also, if it dragged the digger over. Oh, yeah. Then you've got a double whammy. Yeah, Oh, yeah. Then you got a double whammy. Yeah, good stuff. Then you got a double whammy. Me and my sister were little. We knocked over a pyramid of wine in the supermarket. Oh, God.

Didn't have to pay. Mum said it's a stupid way to display wine. Mum's not wrong. That's a good one. Mum's not wrong there. That's a good one. Ooh. My dad was a lawyer,

and he was at the Court of Appeal in Wellington once. In the foyer, there were Panamu hands imitating a handshake. After the hearing, he was accosted by a mob of people. He moved back slowly, They do replace it with greenstone? That's why. They would have absolutely blown their budget on their initial. Yeah. But you'd think they would have had it insured for replacement. You'd think.

Anyway, be careful out there this weekend with your smashing and your bashing. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here.