ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 3rd August 2023

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. She's cold this morning. Ice on the screen. I did a gentle reverse out the driveway and then crawled at about five kilometres and like looking for a gap and then...

Why didn't you scrape it off? Turn. Before you... Well, I didn't bring out any water. I'm not going to, like, reopen the gate. Right. Then you just get out, like... Go inside.

...one of your lesser cards in your wallet. Oh. Oh. Or straddle your bonnet and do wheeze on the windscreen. Ah, that's not... Harder for a woman, though. Got to back it up. Everything's harder for a woman.

We'll see you don't. Thank you. But you are courageous creatures. And if you want to wear your windscreen, I believe you'll find a way of doing it. Thank you, Vaughn. It's my pleasure. You don't want to slip and get stuck to your windscreen. That's a real man talking.

That's a real man talking. Now, my bare butt falls back on the screen, either goes through it. Yeah. Because it's pure muscle. Shannon at the social media desk just said, I used my driver's license to scrap my... You don't use a top-tier car. The driver's license is flimsy.

The driver's license is not like a one card. It's floppier than a one card. Yeah, you should have used... I reckon like a Life Pharmacy or a Costco. Every time I get ID'd and they flick it to see if it's real, I'm like, we're in risky business. Oh, right, because it's got a... It's a big crack through the whole thing.

Oh, yeah. Couldn't you complain to them, say it was poor plastic? I mean, I should just get my full licence and get an upgrade anyway. Oh, my God, do not. Do not have your full licence. Oh, it's embarrassing, I know. I'm 24. What's that card in your hand?

Oh, that's your Costco. Costco. See, I was just looking at what card I'd use, I think I'd use my Costco card to scrape the windscreen. There you go. Or my NetSafe card from the BNZ. Currently the coldest temperature in the country, minus 2.9 in Blenheim.

Blenheim. Did anybody win Lotto last night? City of Roundabouts. Oh, I don't know. Because I got a ticket. Shoot, I don't know if we can win. Are you one of those last minute tickets from the dairy? Are you hoping to get out of here?

Shit, dude. You would never. Oh, you'd see me again because we're friends. No. Hayley, we'd never see each other again. Why? Why? What?

No. Yes! And this also, that agreement we made in the spa pool about what we'd do if we won Lotto. Oh my God, I forgot about this. That was only for that one Lotto draw. There were three couples in the spa pool at Vaughan's house, and we all said, and it was a big jackpot that night, and we all said...

Yeah, it was the last time it was massive. We give each other... The winning couple gets to take whatever they want, but the other couples get a mil each. Well, it's... We made a binding agreement. We rubbed our jennies together to seal the deal. It's rolled over.

Yeah, we sat in a bath together. It's rolled over $26 million this weekend. Ah! Yeah! I'm going to wait until it gets big. I think that's big. I'm we sat in a bath together. It's rolled over $26 million this weekend. Ah! Yeah! I'm going to wait until it gets big. I think that's big. I'm going to do the big ones. That's as big as it gets in New Zealand.

God damn it, I keep dropping it on that $24 ticket too. On the way, the top six, and it appears that women... Careful, you. Why did you say it with such disdain? Yeah, careful. Women are suffering from tech neck. Yeah. Three out of ten women are suffering from tech neck.

Tech neck. Some nations worse than others. This is the... Where you just look down. You're looking down at your phone. Yeah. Or down at the screen and you've got that tilt forward neck. Can lead to problems.

Yeah. I have got the top six. I think, yeah, no, I think you're right. You've got that tilt forward neck can lead to problems. Yeah. I have got the top six. I think, yeah, no, I think you're right. You've got good posture. Marching. Marching posture. I've got the top six other things that three out of ten women suffer from

that also coincidentally rhyme. Like technique. Like technique. Like technique. Silly little polos on the way. Do you prefer gym or the home workout? Just like taking it easy, you know? Give everybody a break.

Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, Mattel own Barbie. Barbie's a huge movie. If you haven't heard of that, you might be living under a rock. Are they getting a massive cut of all this movie earnings? They must be, right? Dude, of course they are.

They own Barbie. They own the rights to Barbie. Yeah, because I remember reading an article about how Mattel had to get on board with the portrayal of the company in the film. Because Colin Farrell. I wondered that. Colin Farrell? Will Farrell.

Will Farrell. Different film. Plays the CEO of Mattel in the film. And they're all men on the board. They're all a bit therk and a bit clueless. But then they CEO of Mattel in the film. And they're all men on the board. Yeah, they're all a bit thick and a bit clueless. But then they kind of go through their own journey. Yeah. Which obviously Mattel probably isn't quite that way.

I was really surprised. I haven't seen it, but from what I've heard about the movie, I'm surprised they signed off on it. Because it's like one of their heritage brands that still makes them heaps of money. But it's so positive. Like ultimately, with a few digs, it's positive. The Barbie movie, which grossed $162 million

this opening weekend, helped offset lower toy sales at Mattel. Mattel reported an unexpected profit of $27 billion or 10 cents a share, beating analysts' expectations of 3 cent loss. Imagine not expecting $27 billion. Oh, I wasn't expecting that. We all just checked our sharesies, didn't we?

Imagine if we all opened sharesies and went, what the hell is $27 billion doing in here? I might clock out. I don't need any more than that. I'm going to keep it brewing a little longer. I need to know what you're investing in on sharesies. It's getting you $27 billion. Mattel apparently, she bought all of Mattel.

Did you buy all of Mattel? Yeah, I dollars. Mattel apparently she bought all of Mattel. Oh, and did you buy all of Mattel? Yeah, I bought it. Oh, wow. Owner of Mattel. Well, one of the other things Mattel wanted to do was make a whole lot of other movies based on their products and some of their other heritage brands, including Uno. Yeah, that's right. Uno.

What's your storyline? Uno. Uno. Uno. It's Uno. It's Uno. Yeah. Uno.

Yeah. Who said Uno? Carl Peter Fletcher. You said Uno. I was like, do we say Uno? No, we say Uno. It's Uno. Uno. It's Uno. It's Uno, yeah. Uno. Yeah. Who said Uno? Carl Peter Fletcher. You said Uno. I was like, do we say Uno? No, we say Uno. It's Uno. Uno.

Because it's one. It's the last card. It's the last card. It's a branded last card. There can be fights with this game because some people use the different pickups. Yeah, you can't put a pickup five on a pickup two. Yeah. You're not supposed to put a pickup two on a pickup two.

You can't stack them. Why can't you stack them? You're not. The rules state you're not allowed to put a pick up 2 on or pick up 2 You can't stack them The rules state you're not allowed to put a pick up 2 on a pick up 2 My family was pick up 2, pick up 4 pick up 9 Wait, you could stack 5s on 2 No, no, no Don't tell my brother

I beat my brother so many times stacking cards Yeah, pick up 45 Yeah, pick up loser. Pick up 45. Yeah, pick up 45. All nine pick up fives. Put on the pile. When you've got those massive hands after all the pick ups. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, oh, no, I can't go.

You've got all of the cards in the deck. You must be able to do something. I don't have any greens. Pass. Or any nines. So I'm just completely out. They want to pay someone almost $18,000 a month to play Uno. Yes.

Why? To become their chief Uno player. Hell of a title. You'd have to know all the rules. I'll apply. Well, maybe they're trying to like- As long as I can pick up on a pickup. They're trying to refine it. And they are building Uno Cuatro.

Uno Cuatro. Uno Cuatro. Uno Cuatro Uno Cuatro Uno Cuatro Earn $4,444 a week For four weeks Challenge strangers to play Create and star in social content For various Uno games And have a great time in sunny New York City

Oh my god I would do this I love Uno Apply now on TikTok I don't know how to use TikTok Click clock I love Uno. There you go. Apply now on TikTok. Oh, I don't know how to use TikTok. I'll give that a click clock. Yeah, I know. See, if you had continued with your TikTok career, this would be you.

It was my goal this year. This would be you. What did I say? A video a week. Yeah, how's that going? I just haven't done one since, though I said that. A while ago. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Join me this week. By the end of this week i'm gonna do a new tiktok so you could have all your house renos on there no that's on instagram at mill cottage reno instagram play zms fletch vaughn and hayley Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole. Do you prefer to work out at home or at the gym? I wouldn't do it if I was at home. It'd be too easy to not do it.

Well, like, when there were lockdowns, you'd try, wouldn't you? And then you'd just be like, oh. That first lockdown, I got shredded. It was wild. At home? Yeah. Wow. I was really unhappy, and I hated lockdowns.

They were not for me. I'm a butterfly. I need to get out. But I, so I just worked out like endlessly. And then I got back to the gym, my personal trainer was like, Jesus. And then the second lockdown, I discovered cocktail making.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really yum. I got rid of those goals. Where do you prefer to work out? Gym, 61%, home, 39. Just for me, there's not enough Like, if I could win Saturday's lotto What is it, $26 million, $28

Then I'd buy a home gym I would not I could have all the money in the world I would still not want a home gym I think I would Really? Yeah Because there's so much equipment at the gym that you need.

Yeah. You just don't get that at home. Just keep going to the gym. Yeah. Clog up your nice house with trash. No, but you have a bigger house. I'm winning $26 million more. I'm going to have a nice house.

No, I know you're going to, but there's always something better that could go in that room. Not a gym. Not a gym. But with $26 million, you'll also have that better thing that could go in that room. Also, you can't pervert hot dumpers, Hayley. Oh, okay. If you're a hot, apart from your own. Well, if I've got $26 million, I might be able to bring some in.

What, a hot dumper? Yeah, just bring in some beautiful. With your $26 million, you could buy a gym. I could probably buy myself a hot dumper and not need to work out, to be fair. I'd do that too. True. Yep. Okay.

I'd do this eating right thing that people talk about. Oh, yeah. It sounds so dreary. It's so dreary, but I'd have a chef. So it's a bit zhuzhed up. Okay. I'd try it anyway. Elegant broccoli.

Elegant broccoli? Yeah. Is that your chef's name? Yes, Mr. Elegant Broccoli. He was for dinner tonight and he's like, never broccoli. I simply won't eat my own. Ariana says, Jim, because I haven't got a lot of inside space. Otherwise, I'd stick to home workouts 100% for convenience sake.

I just want it to be easy to not do it. Yeah, it's so easy because you're like, oh, the fridge. There's the couch. Yeah, there's the fridge and the couch. Remember when Les Mills was doing those ones in the first lockdown and that was on like TV every morning? You'd sit down and you'd be like, interesting. You'd watch it sitting

being like, that looks cool, man. Yeah, man, I have some tight asses on this Les Mills video and then you'd be like, I want one of those, but I'm also going to eat

an entire bag of those Tegel takeouts soon. Hannah says, I have zero motivation when I'm at home to work out, but I step foot inside the gym and it's all hands on deck. Yeah, good.

Plus the gym, I've made some lifelong friends. Uh-oh. Sounds like an F45 to me. Tanya says, more motivated if I actually go to the gym. If I had the gear at home, I'd probably not ever use it. I reckon 100% of people that purchase gym equipment at home will have one stage where it's gathering dust and you're hanging like towels on it to dry when it's wet outside.

The treadmill arms, though, they make the perfect towel dryer. So perfect. So long. Yeah. And it's not an aggressive bar. It's like a gentle slope to hang it over. Holds the towel halves apart. Gets some air flowing between them.

Stunning. Rachel says, at home, I hate people seeing me sweat. Okay. You can never look better than when you're sweaty, Rachel. A lot of people have, yeah, it can be hard going to a gym for some people. Yeah, definitely. They're intimidating sometimes, but you've just got to get in there. I mean, it's terrible.

You've got to get in there and know that no one's paying any attention to you, but all we talk about is, like, man. Hot dumpers. The dumpers in that gym. People just get on and do their own thing. Yeah, they do. They genuinely do. Mason says, I'm a farmer, bitches.

Every day's gym day. Yay. Working out. Working on the plow. Plowing. Plowing. Siving the straw to make bundles for the winter feed. Making sure the yak's on, you know, on par.

We've got a yak now. Yeah. On the plough. He's farming with a yak. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Building old stone walls. Yes.

To keep your sheep in. Yes. Katie says, home because I have the set up and getting organised to get out of the house is hard. Jim was great when I wasn't working from home. So she's working from home. Doing it all from home.

Working out from home and working from home. Easy on a cold morning like this too, just to go from I wasn't working from home. So she's working from home. Doing it all from home. Working out from home and working from home. Easy on a cold morning like this too just to go from bed to gym in your house. I don't reckon it would be. Because you just go from bed to the other side of the bed. Yeah. That's my workout. These were creeping in a few weeks back. People were like, they were

popping up on the gram and the talk and the twits and the ex and the, are we still doing B-real? Is that happening? Threads, have we given up on that after a week? Yeah, threads. Threads didn't last, man. I went on threads like a couple of days ago just to be like, what's up?

Yep. Not a lot. Yeah. It'd be like the, like Rolling Stone magazine posted an article and it had like seven comments. It would have been up for like a day. You're like, that's not great engagement. It's not great. But this was about the savoury cocktail.

People were talking about, you know, because there's always been the classic, what's it called? Bloody Mary. Yep. Tomato, celery, a bit of hot sauce, vodka. And the one that we talked about a few weeks back, was that an espresso martini with parmesan? A parmesan martini.

Ugh. Yuck. The parmesan martini is apparently the cocktail of 2023. Really? And the savoury cocktail in general is on the rise. So the parmesan espresso martini is basically you make your classic espresso martini, Kahlua, vodka, coffee shot. Yeah.

And then you've got, you know, shake it so it's froth. And then on the froth, instead of putting, some people like flake a bit of chocolate on top or put three little coffee beans, you put a big dump of salty Parmesan. No. And apparently it rules. I think we should try it.

Yeah, see, I, yeah. And look, it sounds disgusting. and apparently it rules I think we should try it yeah see it sounds disgusting I know because you're a sweetie when it comes to cocktails like you love something that's pink and frugy and like sweet I do I love a sweet cocktail like you're good at this too Vaughan we'll have a sip of a cocktail and be like

that's Fletch but if it's pink and it's sweet it doesn't need to But if it's pink and it's sweet. It doesn't need to be pink. It's so often they're pink. They're raspberry. They're quite often raspberry. What colour is a raspberry?

It's red. I do love a citrus, like a grapefruity. Yeah, totally. I've got to be careful because I'm on the pill, obviously. Yes. You don't want to get pregnant. I don't want pill, obviously. Yes. So we don't need. You don't want to get pregnant. I don't want to get pregnant. But yeah, I love those kind as well.

But when it gets to savoury, what are they, Bloody Marys? Oh, yeah, no. Cold tomato juice is gross. It is. It's disgusting. Yeah, but put enough hot sauce, vodka and black pepper in there and we're rolling. But they're saying like, so even now, like I, you know, I've said this before. I used to put hot sauce into my vodka sodas or my like gin tonics.

Yeah. A little bit of Tabasco, maybe a bit of cucumber. Does that like spice it up? Yeah. It makes it like hot without making it like thick and creamy. Like it's not a sweet chili. But now they're going like even umami. So like mushrooms, tomatoes are making their way into drinks.

Mushrooms. Mushrooms. Mushrooms. I just googled savoury whiskey cocktails because I just thought if I have to have one, I would. If I have to jump on this trend.

If I have to have meat in a drink. Yeah. The smoky whiskey mule, which is like your classic Moscow mule except it's with bourbon, ginger beer, lemon juice, and candied bacon popped in. And you eat the candied bacon as you go.

Like you sprinkle the candied bacon on the top? No, no, no, it's like one long stretch of like candied bacon. Oh, right, okay. Yeah. And then the Bloody Derby, which is a bourbon version of a Bloody Mary, except it's garnished with olives, bacon, pickled vegetables, and basically anything you want.

No, thanks. Well, you know, I like an old-fashioned with whiskey, which is whiskey, bitters, a bit of, like, sugar, and some orange. Yeah. There's a hotel, a famous hotel in England, that is doing a porcini old fashioned. So instead of your orange,

you're adding in some dried porcini mushrooms and it adds this kind of like rounded umami. No, no, no, no, no. Well, they're saying it's a bit more refined and I will say

every time you have a pink bloody fizzy frothy cocktail, I do think you're a little bit trash. But they're yum. But they're trash. But they're trash. They're yum though. You're so basic, isn't he?

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Hello there. Three in ten women suffer tech neck by looking down at their phones too much.

And a quarter of them say it's aged them noticeably as it's led to shoulder pain and neck muscles becoming stressed. Are men not tech necking as much? Can't be doing it as much. Can't be doing it as much. Women on average check their devices 13 times an hour. At least.

Those are rookie numbers. But also, as a man, also the same. I know. I need to spend more time away from it, you know? Because you know that feeling when you don't have your phone, you're like, oh yeah, I do feel a bit crap. They're also saying visible

neck ageing because you're looking down. Yeah, I've got that. I've noticed that my neck's getting old. Do you know what's also so wrinkled on me? Hands. My wrists. Oh. What do you mean?

Well, yeah, because you're always bending them, aren't you? It's because I'm always like that. I have my hand on my hip with an attitude. You know, because I'm sassy. Yeah. But that, I've got deep wrinkles on the tops of my wrists. Botox your wrists. I need to be able to move them

yes what's there that image of what humans are going to look like in like 50 years those are so dumb they look like

a mongoloid I remember it was like in the 90s it was like this is what office workers will look like in 20 years and it was like

frog people yeah and here we are like 30 years later and I haven't seen a single frog person. I'm somewhat disappointed. But we are all hunching over more. Evolution is slightly slower, I think, than these drawings. Than these panic drawings make us believe.

Well, it turns out that three out of ten is a magic number for a woman. Because I've got the top six other complaints that affect three out of ten women that also rhyme. Like technique. Okay. Like technique. Number six on the list, Elvis Pelvis. Too much dancing like

Elvis Presley has led three in ten women to experience the pain known as Elvis Pelvis. Yeah, I've got a big dose of Elvis Pelvis. You're always out there. And you shake it and you get the Elvis Pelvis. How do you fix Elvis Pelvis. Yeah, I've got a big dose of Alves Pelvis. You're always out there. And you shake it and you get the Alves Pelvis. How do you fix Alves Pelvis? You just stop listening.

Put on a pair of supportive blue suede shoes. And you relax. A pair of cuffs with some inserts in them. Number five on the list of the top six illnesses that affect 3 out of 10 women that also happen to rhyme is three out of ten women suffer from explain plain cocaine brain. Oh, okay.

Explain plain cocaine brain. So it's where you're on cocaine and you try to explain to someone how a plane works. It's heavy, right? It's very heavy. So it's heavy, but it's in the sky

and it's quite high. It's going fast. It's going fast. How does it get up there though? You wouldn't even know. You wouldn't, though? You wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know. You wouldn't even know. See, she's fallen into it.

Great acting. It's a plain, plain cocaine brain. Thank you. It's a plain, plain cocaine brain. Number four on the list of the top six injuries that affect three out of ten women that also happen to rhyme. You've got shiwi knee. Oh, okay, yeah.

This is where a woman using a shiwi will just bend the knee a little bit, but it's just at the wrong angle, so it will cause shi-ni-wi. Shi-wi-ni. Have you ever used one of these at, like, a festival or anywhere? No, but I have a friend who, like, swears by them. Really? But so, the shiwi, because the shiwi, I would, bending a knee would be good because you get closer to your vessel

so that it's not such a paw. Also, money-saving tip for the ladies listening. Just use one of those coffee filters. Way cheaper. You get like a 10-pack for like $2. Shannon uses a shiwi. Are you shiwying? Do you, Shannon?

Not actively, but I've used them. My old flatmate was like, let me buy one for you. I want you to experience what it's like. To be a man. Like he was a man. Yeah. And I bought it and then I tried it just into the toilet just to experience it. A standway.

It rules, right? And then we just had them in the flat. Wait. Did you put the toilet seat back down? I didn't put it up. I forgot that was a thing and it was messy. Oh, no. There was bricks everywhere.

Yeah. But it was so fun. I felt so empowered. up. I forgot that was a thing and it was messy. Oh, no. There was spritz everywhere. Yeah. But it was so fun. I felt so empowered. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. If I was a female, I would 100% have one. Yeah.

I'd just give it a rinse after I'd used it. Yeah, I know, but it's still so weird. Like, every now and then when I've used the male bathrooms. I did that at Friday Jams with you, Fletch. Yeah. Because the line was so terrible. It's still, men are like, what are you doing in here? And then you're pulling up to your urinal and getting your mound out.

Because you'd have to get it down quite a bit. You do, yeah, yeah. Because our urethra's back. Well, you could, if you were wearing a skirt, you could go up from underneath. Yeah. Yes. We could talk about this all day. Number three on the list of the top six injuries that affect women

at the rate of three out of ten that also rhyme is dumb, numb, drum bum. This is where a dummy has been drumming on your bummy and it makes it all nummy. You know, if you're ever lying down face down, does Aaron ever go... He plays the bongos. Yeah, bongo bat. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba.

But they do it for too long. Right, and it gets numb. So you get numb. And then you stand up and you've got a dumb-numb drum bum. Number two on the list of the top six injuries that affect three out of ten women that also happen to rhyme. You've got high dry July eye. I've got high dry July eye. You're doing dry July so you're not drinking, so you're smoking a bit more weed than usual and you get... Okay, that's not what I have. Not what you've got high dry July eye. I've got high dry July eye. You're doing dry July so you're not drinking,

so you're smoking a bit more weed than usual. Okay, that's not what I have. Not what you've got. Not what you've got. It makes the eyes a bit dry. You've got high dry July eye. You've just got crusty eyelids. Oh, yeah, eczema, yeah.

Yeah. You've got a bit of eczema. Crust. You don't want people confusing it, but it is August now too, so maybe people will. And I am tired, so I've often got red eyes. Yeah. People think I've got high dry July eye.

Yeah. Dry, dry. Dry, dry, dry, ja, ja. And number one on the list of the top six injuries that not only rhyme but affect three out of ten women are, of course, you've got hair there everywhere, square hair. Hair there everywhere, square hair? Square hair. It's where you've just been so frazzled and busy running around everywhere,

probably after children or, you know, whoever you've got to care for in your life that you haven't had a good chance to look at your hair. You've been hair there everywhere. Right. You've got hair there everywhere. Right. And you've got square hair. And it rhymes as well. And it affects three out of ten women. Well, women have it tough, don't they?

Be safe out there. Yeah. Got a lot to deal with. That's today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I don't, I can't remember if when I asked, because I asked Aaron out. Did you?

Yeah, I did. In a roundabout way, but then I cut to the chase and made it clear before our first date. Right. But I can't remember if I even asked if he was single. I might have asked around. Right. Like people, you know, do you know him? Does he have a partner?

Does he have a girlfriend? And maybe people would have said no, and then I would have known. But it was a while ago, so you can't. Yeah, it's a blur. Yeah. Well, it's very hard to ask somebody if they're single. Yeah.

Because. A lot of anxiety and then it's like the shame when they're like, no, I've got a girlfriend or I've got a partner or whatever. You're like, oh. Joe, jokes.

Jokes. You're ugly. You asking Aaron would be one thing, but I don't know, guys asking woman. If they're single. Are you single? Like it's a bit.

Yeah. I don't know. Unless they're real hot. Because again single? Like it's a bit, yeah. I don't know, for me I'm like, because again, hot people will just get away with it. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I haven't been asked for a long time, but I'm also so publicly with someone. Yeah. Yeah, you're engaged.

But I wouldn't be, I wouldn't be offended if someone said to me like, hey, are you single? I'd be like, no. You'd be like,

as long as they left me alone when I said no. Yeah, take the compliment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, a dating expert has given some tips on how to subtly ask if someone's single. If the direct approach is not for you. And if you've tried stalking the gram, but they're hiding their partner. Oh, yeah. It's like the footballer, Hannah Wilkinson. I was excited. And again, I'm not single. but I looked on her Instagram and then... Neither is she.

Well, she's pinned a post of her and her stunning girlfriend. Yeah, I like that she pinned the post, eh? It's the first post. Because she's so beautiful that obviously so many people would come looking to see. Yeah. But if you went on my Instagram, it would take you a long time to see that I was with someone because Aaron hates being on it. He hates social media.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to get full approval before I put any pictures up. Yeah. Signed, it goes through lawyers and it's full on. Yes. Yeah, yeah, it's a whole thing.

Anyway, so one way you could do it is like you go up to them and ask, start a chat, have a conversation. Okay. Maybe don't go too flirty so far. So I might do this. Do you want to pretend it's me?

I'll go on you. Okay, whereabouts are we? Are we at the park? We're at a bar, but we're sort of like maybe gym, park. I don't know. You just saw me walking my dogs in the park, and you thought I was cute. No, let's say we're at a party.

Okay. We're at a party. Maybe. We're at a party. Maybe we've got some mutual friends. Okay. And I've spotted you and I come up and I'm like, oh, thank God it's Friday, right? Yeah.

Did she just TGIF you? Did you just TGIF her? I'm working towards something. If he's single, you've made a terrible first impression. God, isn't it cold at the moment? Oh my God, it's so frosty. Are we weather chatting?

I tell you what, I would love to get away from this cold and just have a vacation. Like when was the last time? God, I can't remember. When was the last time you had a vacation? Oh, like three weeks ago. Oh my God. Yeah.

Where did you go? Oh, all over. Oh my God, just yourself? Yeah. Oh my God, crazy. Yeah. So you didn't take a partner or anything? No, my girlfriend had just died like a week before.

Okay, there you go. Now I know he's not single. Well, no, she's dead. She's dead? You said she died. I missed that information. All you heard was girlfriend and you immediately clocked out. I'm not ready to move on.

Then I would say my condolences. I'm not ready. It really hurts me. Can I give you a hug? And then I would press myself against you. And you would fall into my charm. But you got the information out of me.

So asking about their last vacation. And then after you've hugged them, grab it and be like, so this is ready to move on to the feelings. I don't think I'm going straight into a hug

into a crotch grab. It's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. I'm out of the game. No, no, no. Slow it down. Whereas if I said to you,

Vaughan, when was your last vacation? So I went to Disneyland with my whole family. My wife and my kids would be like, bleh. And Hayley just walks away

at the party. I'm not here to ruin a marriage, let alone become a stepmom. Yeah. Okay, the next one. The most fictitious part of this story is that I'm at a party. Yeah, you would not be at a party. Yeah. Okay, the next one would be trying to figure out when they last went out on a date.

Okay. So, again, let's just say we're at a party. Oh, my God. Thank God it's Friday, right? God, she's TGIFing me again. Thank God it's Friday. Unbelievable. Is that this Friday? Yeah. Unrealistic because the WAS are on

at 8. 8 o'clock kick-off for the Warriors this weekend and of course I'll be up the WAS on Friday. No, late party. You know you. You love to watch a game and then head out into town. Oh yeah, you know me. So I go, come in and be like, oh, my God. Fletch, eh? Fletch is your name? Yeah, hi.

Oh, my God, hi, how are you? I think we've met before maybe. God, thank God it's Friday, right? God, I've just had such a week. I went on this date on Tuesday. I don't want anyone to get into it because he was such a loser. Hate dating, eh? It's tough. Oh, and then I'm going to be like,

yeah, dating is, yes. Or you'd say, oh my God, I haven't done it in so long. Me and my partner have been together for seven years. You'd be like, oh. Oh my God, congratulations. That was a subtle way. That's really good. That was a good way of finding out.

Oh man, I'm over it, eh? Okay, what else is on the list? Okay, the last one. The subtle ways to ask people if they're single. The last one is, I guess this would be more to see if they're in a serious relationship, if you I guess this would be more to see if they're in a serious relationship

if you want to see if there's a ring on that finger. Oh yeah. Because I wear a ring on my finger. Where is it? Don't know.

Did you leave it at my house? I don't know. I haven't worn it for two days. Oh no. It's okay. My house is a mess

at the moment. And the love is alive. Yeah. So the ring is gone. The love is alive. Yeah. But if ring is gone, the love is alive. Yep. But if you were asking a girl or someone who wore nail polish, you'd be like, oh, my God, can I see your nail polish?

And then I would see your finger. Oh, my God, is it the same on the other hand? If they gave me the wrong finger, I'd be like, no ring. Is it the same on the other hand? Some people might have a green on one and a pink on the other. Yeah, right, okay. So you've got to try to get a look at their hand. How do you ask a man, though?

Yeah, you could do this, right? Okay, I'll do you, Vaughn. Vaughn, eh? Yes. Oh, my God, I think we've met before. How are you? I'm okay. Oh, my God, sorry.

This is such a bad habit. I always bite my nails. Do you bite your nails? Yeah, mostly. Oh, my God, because a lot? Well, no, just recently I cut them. Because a lot? Because a lot? Oh, my God, can I see your nails? He's showing, he's showing. Now I see his hands. And you see he's got a ring. And. Because a lot? Well, no, just recently I cut them. Because a lot? Because a lot?

Oh, my God. Can I see your nails? He's showing. He's showing. Now I see his hands. And you see he's got a ring. And I see a wedding ring and I go, I'll back off. I'll be like, oh, anyway, got to take a piss.

Thank God it's Friday. Thank God it's Friday. Thank God it's Friday. Anyway, I've got to go off for a slash. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I just went on Wordle. NYTimes.com forward slash games.M's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I just went on Wordle. NYTimes.com forward slash games. That's right.

Remember New York Times bought Wordle? Yeah. Yeah, for a million bucks. For a million bucks. Which was cheap, right? It was really cheap. Yeah, for how many people were playing it? But I have not played in at least over a year,

and I got it in two. I just got it in one. Well, because I showed you my answer. Yeah, but he got it in one. It doesn't matter, though. He still beat me, didn't he? Anyway, we're talking about Wordle. Don't worry, we're not so late to the game.

Guys, this is an amazing online game. We're talking about Wordle because Shannon is still playing daily. I thought you were a relevant, genzy, girly. Yeah. Nope. You're playing Wordle every day. Yeah, but it's good for the soul. It's good for the brain.

What about Quirtle? Have you done that? What's Quirtle? Four at once? Yeah. So I do it with my boyfriend every day and we'll start with the Wordle. Then we'll go to Dirtle, which is double. Then sometimes...

I used to do Dirtles with my boyfriend too's so fun though and we have competitions so we start at the same time and then we have two competitions within it it's like the first to get it but then the first better score yeah so sometimes you'll win by... Right. Who's better, you or him? I mean, like, I'd love to say me, but it's definitely him. He's smart, though. He's a wizard. He's a magician. He's magic.

Yeah. To read the future. I think I know of one friend who still plays Wordle, and it amuses me because I'm like, why? Yeah. We all gave up. We sort of all just got over it as we as a race, a human race

do. But there's this part of me because I use the same word to start every day. What's your word? I start with thing. Has it ever been thing? No, and that's why I can't stop playing. You start playing with your lotto numbers. You've got to always play with the same numbers

otherwise you miss out. So it's just a part of my routine. When did this? It was like a couple of years ago, right? I was listening to Smartless, the podcast, with Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes. And they, at the start of last year, did a whole lot of live shows. Yep.

And they were talking about, oh, have you played Wordle to somebody? And I was like, what? When was this recorded? And then at the end of the podcast, I'm like, this was recorded in like February 2022. I'm like, no, no, no, no. It was way before that. No.

I just looked it up. It was. It was like, it was that summer holiday, December 21 into January 22, when Wordle went crazy. It was made in October 2021, but didn't go popular until, yeah, December, January. December, January, February. And it was the start of 2022, so it was only the start of last year

that it was great. I thought it had been three years. It was like three years, yeah. But also, I associate it with lockdowns and pandemic. It's got a big pandemic vibe. I don't want anything to do with it now. Right, you're putting it behind you. I was so into it. I would play it every morning when I got here. I'd be like, right,

do my wordle. Yeah. And then we'd all say, I got it in three, got it in four, got it in two, as I just did now. Got it in one, as I just did. That's cheating, isn't it? Yeah, it's cheating. Happy to help a brother out. But good for you, Shannon.

Do you think you'll give up when the word one day is thing? Nah, I'll just make a new starting word, eh? No, that should be the end, I reckon. Yeah, because you've got to leave on a high. Do you know what would be the worst? Like, I've missed a few days across the time. Have you missed things? You've got to start again.

I don't know. You can go back into, can't you go into the archives and see what's been? Yeah, I think there's like a list of them as well. Someone's made a list of like every single one. You guys are applying too much logic to my silly little game. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. You guys are applying too much logic to my silly little game. Well, Booking.com has done some research and it turns out that New Zealanders,

and this is pretty bad, are least concerned with the environmental impact of their travel compared with those from other nations in like the Asia Pacific region. Yeah. We just want cheap, right? We just want cheap flights and we don't care. About what it means. About the fuel that's coming in,

the clouds of smoke coming out of the engine. Yeah. The emissions. It's so expensive. And you always see the button and where it says, do you want to offset your carbon emissions? And I'm always like, what are you actually doing with that? You know, like, how is my dollar 80 helping the environment?

I've never seen someone from an airline planting a tree. Have you? Not a lot of trees at the airport. It's all concrete. Famously, not a lot of trees. Put more trees. Famously, not a good place to plant trees either. Wouldn't it be nicer to touch down amongst the trees?

They should have trees at the end of the motorway so that when they take off and all that, you know, jet fuel emission gets blown back, a tree's just standing there like, oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. Yeah, but then you can't... Like a tree on a station. You can't put a tree at the end of a runway.

Just a little one with a bit of shrub. Just some shrubs. Just some shrubs. Okay, I'll be on board with some end-of-runway shrubbery. These little fiendy-looking meth shrubs. Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. Give me that carbon dioxide and monoxide and bloody blepharophonophon.

Pfloronagadate. Pfloronagadore. I don't know if it's because we're right down the bottom of nowhere and we just have to travel far to get places. So maybe we just, I don't know, do we just think, ah, it's just what it is. Yeah, and I think, I guess for us, we will all go, well, I don't travel that often

I'm not like someone who's jetting here and there and everywhere But you would still travel more than a lot of people like you literally just went to Melbourne at the weekend Okay well it doesn't mean I want the planet to burn So out of the whole Asia Pacific region Singapore and Japan were the only two countries that care less about

sustainable travel than New Zealanders Number one India were the only two countries that care less about sustainable travel than New Zealanders. Number one, India. But do you think that's because there's a lot of pollution in India so they see the effects of what we're doing? Yeah, we definitely see the effects of it in India, the India I've been to. So a high proportion of people from India, Vietnam, China, Korea, Thailand, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Australia,

prioritise sustainable travel more than New Zealanders. Did they have to prove this? Did they have to prove that they did? Show the receipts that you click the button to offset your carbon emissions. Was it just a question that they could answer? I think it was just a question they could answer. Yeah, because my father-in-law is Thai,

and he would 100% lie about this. He'd say, yes, I care very much. And they're like, eight extra dollars? He'd be like, no. No. Would you like to offset your travel with a donation to a cause that plants trees? Oh, no. No, no.

But you care about the environment. Yes. But then that's most of us, right? I mean, that would be actually a good cylinder to poll. How many people actually click the button to offset their carbon emissions? Let's do it. When they book a flight. Let's do it.

Because I don't think I've ever, have you ever clicked that? Yeah, I have. But I need to see that that's actually being. I think that's more the reason because it's usually like a couple of bucks here and there and you're like, yeah, for sure. But it doesn't feel impactful because you don't know where it's going. And you paying two to three dollars doesn't feel like it's going to do jack about the fact that we're having these one in 100 year weather events

every single day at the moment. So it's like a little bit more transparency maybe about how it's being offset would would inspire you to do so? I mean, I could maybe look into how they're doing it, but I don't want to. No, I want someone to tell me plain. And I don't want it to take too long. I want them to tell me, but I want it to be one to two sentences max.

I'll give you five bucks. Not in an email, because I'm just going to delete that. No, that's on a mass delete. Maybe next time I get on a plane, when there's a line, they could say, are you aware that we offset if you add the offset thing this is how we do it because I've got no choice

I've got a captive audience I'll have my headphones and I'll be listening to something just leave me alone yeah okay maybe I don't want to know maybe I've been lying to myself I think you have

maybe I don't care maybe I'm a monster wow I'm having a real moment here yeah care. Maybe I'm a monster. Wow. I'm having a real moment here. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Alright, are we ready to do this? No. Because, you know, once we

start. We can't stop. Once we pop. We cannot stop. Once we pop, we can't stop. Oh no. Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. This is ridiculous. This is disgusting.

It is the 3rd of August and there are 143 days, 16 hours and 27 minutes till Christmas. It's basically five months. It's basically tomorrow. Like, you've got to start Thinking about booking Flights home for Christmas Oh shut up I'm not going anywhere People can come to me

You shut up You shut up You shut your face Shut up with your face We have had over The last couple of weeks Reports coming in Of Christmas

It's been To be totally honest It's probably been a month Since I was first like Talk to me Talk to me late August But we don't like to do Any midwinter Christmas

No and that's what A couple of them were Yeah we. But we don't like to do any midwinter Christmas. No, and that's what a couple of them were. Yeah, we want to make sure there's a gap after midwinter Christmas. But these are for this approaching Christmas, these reports. Gonna start my pipe mints on my Crisco's Christmas hamper so I can have a magical Christmas with Crisco's. So, Shay messaged So Christmas Penetration to report Spotlight and Tauranga has put all their

Christmas fabric out made me a little dizzy said Shay They do good fabrics though Tell you what it's been a while between trips to Spotlight might have to pop in

Good fun there, eh? Quit walking around being like who knew? Do some crafts Who knew? Who knew that was a thing? Lisa also wants to make

a Spotlight report because it's not only in Tauranga Spotlight in Wellington started with Christmas things Do some crafts. Who knew? Who knew that was a thing? Lisa also wants to make a spotlight report because it's not only in Tauranga. Spotlight in Wellington started with Christmas things. She sent in their Christmassy range of wrapping paper. Early for wrapping paper. Early for wrapping paper. Fabrics, I can understand. You might have a long craft planned.

Although I'd say we're only a month or so away from advent calendars being in supermarkets. God, the chocolate will be so off by December. I know. No one's waiting that long. I would have to check the records. Of course, we keep very stringent records here at It's Big Lantern Lock a lot like Christmas. But I think advent calendars do generally pop in your late Septembers.

Okay. Your late Septembers. Okay, we'll see. Christmas Penetration reported. Somebody said this is where you guys did Zinnian Bangers being on Hamilton. Christmas at the Keg. Hello Christmas friends. It's been a hot minute since we posted, but guess what?

We're back for another season. Opening in exactly four months time. Make a booking. The jolliest place to be in Hamilton this Christmas. Wow, so yeah, Christmas bookings. That's an official Christmas booking. That's an official Christmas booking. This one comes to us from Reddit.

Somebody posted, their local pack and save put this up today. It said, hot Christmas deal, $24.99 for a 12-pack of Heinekens. Oh, it's too early for a hot Christmas deal pack and save. It's way too early for a Christmas. Yes, you're going to start storing your Heine's in the garage for Christmas. You would want to keep them somewhere cool and dark. Yeah. Wouldn't you?

Otherwise, if it was bright and warm, your Heine's... Fester. You don't want your Heine festering. No. You don't want your Heine going warm and... You don't. People are always saying... Or leaking in the garage.

You don't want your Heine leaking. Or that's another thing. You don't want to hiney going warm. You don't. People are always saying. Or leaking in the garage. You don't want your hiney leaking. Or that's another thing. You don't want to put it somewhere too cold. Yeah. Because then you could come back to find out your hiney's leaking. Yeah. Or shriveled. Shriveled or leaking.

Half full. Evaporating. Yeah. A little bit. The box could be a little bit soggy. You could pick it up. The bottom will fall out of it. Buy those in December.

Yeah. No, not in December. Yeah. November. So, I mean pick it up, the bottom will fall out of it. Buy those in December. Yeah. No, not in December. Yeah. November. So, I mean, it's just a start. It's just a little wee start. Well, yeah, and we do encourage you if you see any Christmas creeping in early to take a photo or screenshot anything you see online

and send it to us on our socials, FVH. Socials. ZM. Socials. So that's really started, hasn't it? But with all of that in mind... Oh, we're getting warmer. Right now, Christmas penetration is at...

0.87%. Oh! It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. On only the 3rd of August. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I have never used these things, but I know that one amongst us has, our own Chanelette pyjamas.

Now this is a story of a man who went on a date. They went out for pizza. This is a story of a man who went on a date and ate pizza. And when he looked so sad in the photograph, it's because of an allergic reaction to her lip gloss. So after this date, right, they like get in the car

and they start macking out. Is that what we're calling it? We're macking. Yeah, we definitely call it that. No, I don't know if we're calling it that either. The longer you're in a relationship, the smaller your kisses get. That's it fashing. No, I don't know if we're calling it that either. The longer you're in a relationship, the smaller your kisses get. That's it. Love you.

That's it. No more. Oh, my God. Thank God Love Island's over. More on that later. But I got so sick of the kissing. Oh, yeah, because they wear the lapel mics. Oh, yeah, it's yuck.

Yuck. Anyway, so this couple, I guess, on a date, making out in the car, cute, cute, cute, and they're like, that was cute, and then starts driving off, and she's talking to him while he's driving, and he's like... And his lips start burning,

like really, really burning. They're tingling, they're burning. Like he's had hot sauce on them or something. Yeah, and then he was like, in his head, he said he was like trying to think about did we have jalapenos on the pizza was there something

you know like in there that made my mouth hot what about the sauce it's a Chinese sauce Sichuan numbing it's the numbing sauce yeah

I love it I love it you're eating your whole mouth just goes yeah yeah yeah it's like it's numb it's hot but it's numb yeah and then so it gets so bad because It's hot, but it's numb. Yeah.

Yeah. And then, so it gets so bad because he kind of gets embarrassed. It gets so bad that he has to turn to her and goes like, hey, my mouth is on fire since we kissed. And she's like, oh, my God. And she's wearing like a plumping lip gloss. I've never tried them. I didn't know this was a thing.

It's got these like stimulants, irritants in them that like kind of basically like scratch up your mouth I didn't know this was a thing. It's got these stimulants, irritants in them, that kind of basically scratch up your mouth and increase the blood vessels so that they swell. And then it's like a little filler. Now, I've never used it, but Shannon... And so you get big lips. You get like... Well, they swell.

They're swollen. But why would you do that? So that you don't have to get injectables. People want big lips. Why does it look like big lips? I know that they get fillers and stuff, and that looks stupid. Especially when the top lip creates a shelf. Yes, you look ridiculous.

But Shannon says you use this. Yeah, I did it a lot more when I'd go clubbing and stuff. It's not an everyday lip gloss, but it's the Too Faced Lip Injection, and then the one that's most popular is the Extreme Injection. It's not an injection, it's just a gloss. No, no, no. It literally can

double your lip size, and it hurts so bad. And if you have dry lips, like in winter, it can make you tear up. It hurts so bad, but all it works. Why do you still do it? Because I've got quite dry lips. Ever since I went on acne medication. My lips have never come back.

So I feel like if they were swelling they'd just crack. Yeah, that can happen. Why would just have a small mouth? Yeah, I mean listen, it's like speaking out loud I understand. I'm telling you, I realise how ridiculous. Did your lips look juicy?

Did you like the way they looked? Yeah. Like, yeah, again, I wouldn't do it like on an everyday or now, but going clubbing and stuff, yeah, it was great. But would you kiss a guy knowing that you would then put your... You're not supposed to. And like, I've heard a lot of horror stories of things going really bad. Because what if...

The comment section is like, you're lucky it was just a kiss. I've heard it. Oh, wow. That would be like a two injection on the... Yeah. If those lips were to go anywhere else... No, no, no, let's not rush this. Let's not rush this. Does it make it bigger?

Let's not jump to any harsh conclusions. It might actually puff it out a little bit. Okay, okay. What's this called again? Where can I get it? So, the way it works is by having irritants and abrasions. Just a moment, I'm just glossing around. Glossing

my penis and hoping for the best. Oh, oh, oh. Look at it. Look at it. Quick, quick, quick. I need to wash it off. This is all for you. Ah. Yeah. Anyway, he recovered from it. But he would have had a bit of juicy lip. How long does it take?

If you go home after a night out, do you just wipe it off, or has it kind of gone by then? It kind of wears out, yeah. When you do it, you could notice it within, I'd say, 10 to 30 seconds. It's pretty quick. Is it like hot sauce? Can you just put milk on it? I did just look, though.

It says key ingredient is capsicum. So like chili, maybe. So you are just like spicing your lips. Yeah. That's wild. Wow. Well, we want to know if you've ever experienced something like this, like a kissing injury of sorts.

We're talking maybe you've had the tingles. Or you just go in for a kiss and you put your tooth through their lip because you missed. You put your tooth through. Maybe we've got a couple of locking tongue rings. And then you just lock together and have to go to A&E. Yeah. My boyfriend, when I was a teenager, he had a tongue piercing while I had braces.

That seems like a dangerous combination. Luckily, you know, we didn't know what we were doing. So you didn't get stuck. No, I didn't. But yeah, maybe you've had a horrendous kiss injury. Maybe you had like this numbing lip gloss. Maybe you had a kissing injury with that. Yeah.

We'd love to hear your stories. Give us a call. 0800 DARS at M. Doesn't have to be with lip gloss. It could be just a standard kissing. Some teeth, some bonneting involved. Perhaps you were kissing and then you fell over somewhere and fell off a cliff. Or down some stairs.

Off a cliff. How dramatic can we get? Give us a call, 0800-DARLS-AT-EMERSON, number 9696 to text us. What are your kissing injuries? I'm wanting to know your kissing injuries because a man made out with a woman who was wearing lip-plumping lip gloss,

and a really extreme one, and it hurt him deeply. Now, we were just debating, because I wonder if anyone's had lip fillers, and sometimes they can go a bit wrong, you know, and like having a little kiss, and maybe they had a little... A little rupture. What? No. Do they...

I remember reading an article about a woman whose lips, like, burst, and they were, like, leaking out the top. Oh, that's nasty. Well, we're taking your calls now. Whenever you had a kissing injury, Millie joins us. Millie, what happened? Millie? Oh, she's here.

Sorry, Millie, you just had a bad phone line. So what happened? So my brother was going out on a date, and his lips were super dry because he was also on acne medication. Yeah, baby. Burn it out. What is up with the phones at the moment? Yeah.

They had to have a line like that yesterday. We'll just pop you on hold, Millie. Let's go to Mike, see if that's better. Mike, good morning. Good morning. How's it going? You're coming in loud and clear, Mike. Loud and clear. We've got a good phone line here, Mike. see if that's better. Mike, good morning. Good morning. How's it going? Mike, you're coming in loud and clear, Mike. Loud and clear.

We've got a good phone line here, Mike. Proceed with your yarn. Okay, look. Look, I can't remember if it was my first kiss, but it was a long time ago. I was 16 years old, and they used to have like a disco night at Botany Ice Skating Ring.

This has got all... I tell you, I am loving this so far. Yeah, and so they had the DJ lights and the music pumping and I was out with some friends and stuff like that. And I was going around the ice and I saw an opportunity to go up to the ice rink, the gate, and kiss my girlfriend. It's like, give it a go. And I leaned in for the kiss and what had happened is because of

the ice skating rink, it was so cold, a runny booger from her nose ran from her nose into my mouth. Oh, out. I ended up exiting the ice skating rink and I had those pinball machines. I ended up vomiting the ice skating rink and I had like those pinball machines.

I ended up vomiting beside the pinball machines. Did you throw up? Oh, my God. Pull it together, Mike. I mean, I get quite snotty in the cold as well. Just a wet nose. Just a drippy tan. Yeah.

That's yuck. I thought you were about to arse over and break a leg on the ice or something. Yeah, so did I, but almost the snot's worse. Oh, no, I was pretty good. That's why I felt confident. Yeah. That's yuck. I thought you were about to arse over and break a leg on the ice or something. Yeah, so did I, but almost the smell's worse. Oh, no, I was pretty good. That's why I felt confident. Yeah. Oh, ow. Some messages in.

Somebody said, I know they probably won't call in, but I just want to, as one, put a special shout out there to the thin-lipped lesbians. Oh, okay. I don't know if that sounds like they might have experienced... Because we were talking about the plumpers. The plumpers. The plumpers leading to some allergic reaction. Oh, yes.

I got my lip pierced on a first date 17 years ago. A fresh lip piercing and making out do not go well together. Oh, no. Infection, very swollen lips, very embarrassing when mum asked why. I would have just said, just the piercing, mum. Just that.

Just a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty needle. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah. Oh, yuck. Are we pre-reading? Yeah, pre-reading there because it started with kissing, bracket, with a little bit of biting,

close brackets. Okay. A week or so after getting lip filler caused one of my bottom lips to blow up and bruise and I could feel the filler turn into a ball under that lip and they'd been massaging constantly to roll it back out. What is it? This is from a place of pure naivete.

What is filler? I don't know. I don't know. Does it dissolve? I thought it dissolves. Yeah. What is lip filler? Keep your eyes. I thought it was fat taken from somewhere else and I was always walking and being like, I've got someves. Yeah. What is lip filler? Keep your eyes.

I thought it was fat taken from somewhere else, and I was always walking in being like, I've got some you can have. I don't want any back. Keep your texts coming in. 9696, your kissing injuries. 0800DARLS.com. We'll get to more of those next.

We're asking you for your kissing injuries. A man kissed a woman who had, like, plumping lip gloss on and, like, got the burns big time. Burning lips. Yeah. But, yeah, whether it was lip filler or just a plane accident or teeth or whatever. Anonymous, good morning.

You've got a kissing injury story? Yeah, so I was on a first date with a guy. Yeah. And we got a bit hot and heavy obviously and we were kissing a wee bit and he burped in my mouth. Oh! That's an injury. That's an emotional

scar. And was it after dinner? No, we hadn't eaten but... Yeah, but he didn't during the day. A sausage lingers. At best guess, what did he have for lunch? Sorry,ers. At best guess, what did he have for lunch? Sorry, what? At best guess, what did he have for lunch?

I couldn't tell you. Oh, man, I'm really good. You got to taste the burp and you didn't know. I reckon I'd be up. I'm always like, salami sandwich. Did you carry on with this guy? Yeah, so we've been together for over two years now. Oh, my God.

How do you bounce back from that? We just kind of thought it was hilarious. Yeah. You got a laugh. You found your one. You found your person. Yeah, you really did. Anonymous.

Thank you. Jack, what was the kissing injury? Morning, team. Morning. Yeah. It was more just sort of like not really knowing what I was doing. You know, 15-year-old, school camp, middle of nowhere. Middle of the night.

School camp. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah. Yeah, middle of the night, snuck into a bush, making out. Snuck into a bush? You're a bad boy, Jack. You're a bad boy. Well, let's be honest.

The teachers were probably drinking. Yeah. The parents of the teachers just get OTP. It was a Catholic school, so yeah. Yeah, of course. A lot of wine. Yeah. Yeah. The parents of the teachers just get OTP. It was a Catholic school, so yeah, obviously. A lot of wine. Yeah, cash rash.

Oh, yeah, dude. We've all been there. We've all been there. How bad was it? Real bad. Like, full on scabbing and stuff. My lips ended up getting so dry that my lips cracked and they were bleeding.

Nothing like bleeding after a pash rash. Did you just go home from school, Cam, and say, oh, God, the wind, the wind. Yeah, wind chapped it. That's what my parents said. Wind just right around my lips. Oh, yeah, that. It was the wind. Oh, did it go, like, from right under your nose all around the lips?

Yeah, 100%. It's the inside. She didn't know what she was doing either, so it just went everywhere. It was the inside of the mouth that hurt a lot with the pash rash too. The inside of the mouth. Oh, I didn't find it. Oh, really?

No. Oh, just me then? I've never. Wait, did you say she didn't know what she was doing? Yeah, she didn't know what she was doing. I obviously didn't know what I wanted at the time. Oh, wait, so you got pash rash, but you had the beard or the stubble?

No, as a child. There was no stubble involved. I was 13 years old. Oh, I thought you were meaning pash rash like from when, because there's a few people messaging from when

people just have a stubble and you're literally like sandpaper in your face. Sandpaper in your face. But you just got a rash from making out too hard. Too hard. I went in too hard.

I assumed you were kissing a boy. From literal skin friction. Oh my God, skin on skin. It was all skin. Far out. You must be literal skin friction. Oh, my God. Skin on skin. Far out. You must be going so hard.

Jack, thank you for sharing some messages to finish up. My brother was going on a date and his lips were super dry. He asked me for some lip balm. I tossed him what I thought was lip balm, but it was this lip aggravator that plumps them up. He started bawling his eyes out and still to this day has no idea. Crying. It's not that bad, surely. It was me.

But his girlfriend of five years knows. Oh, okay. So obviously, he went on the date. That sounds like the same date, the same girl, doesn't it? Yeah, a few people here

with the old pash rash. I met up with a guy who stumbles at the sharp phase of regrowth and my whole upper lip swelled so bad and the next day

it looked like an injection gone wrong. He has a terrible kisser. I should have known better. Yeah. Yeah, if you're getting it all around there and you're only moving around

just put it back a bit. Yeah. I was younger. I was kissing a boy at a party. It was long and obviously very passionate for 16 because I woke up the next day with pash rash

all around my mouth from his braces. It went from pash rash to dry skin to scab. And mum still made me Go to school To teach me a lesson Brutal V

Yeah V is for Vaughn V is for Vulture V is for Volvo It is

Wonderful Swedish car. Invented the three-point safety harness. Very safety. Yeah. And then released it so everybody could have one. But we're talking about V, the New Zealand energy drink. Now, released in 1997. Am I correct in saying that it is the biggest one in New Zealand?

It's the biggest. The favourite, right? It's the biggest. The most popular. Hey, no one's going to fact check you. You say what you want. That's what I do. I feel like you should. It's the biggest, the favourite, right? It's the biggest, the most popular. Hey, no one's going to fact check you. You say what you want. That's what I do. I feel like you should.

It's the only one with octopus eyes in it. Someone fact check that for me. Okay, it does not have octopus eyes in it. But they have tweaked it. Yeah, they made an announcement, didn't they? They haven't said what's been changed, but they said it's been slightly changed Now producers

Shannon particularly We've mentioned this Your dad is a huge V fan He's literally their number one fan He had a V themed 50th 60th He hired a nightclub And went to Frucore

And got all their old cardboard cutouts His band is called V6 Because there's six of them and he likes V. Likes V, yeah. And how many does he have a day? So he'll have two fridge cans a day. So the little, little cans. He's a purist, won't drink it from a bottle. Wait, what do you mean a fridge can?

How many mils is in a fridge can? 200. So smaller than a... They're little. Okay, right. I don't know if I've ever seen them. Yeah, and then I'll hit up a I've got a 250 here

And will you have most And you and Jared Jared's a Red Bull You're a Red Bull Yeah Red Bull purist Yeah I don't see To be honest I don't see

V's Formula 1 team though No That's fair That is fair I don't see V cliff diving either No neither do I No V flog tag

Yeah Yeah yeah Exactly Okay Yeah right Something for them to look into maybe So V Cliff diving. No, neither do I. No. V Fluke tag. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Yeah, right. Something for them to look into maybe. So the news for him would be quite disturbing that his favourite energy drink could be changing.

Yeah, I had a call with him and I was like, just so you know, this is going to happen. He was quite upset. Then we started to catch up about life and I was like, how's the golf course? He's a greenkeeper. I was like, how's the course? He told me about the rain. Wet, yeah. Yeah, and then he goes, so back to was like, how's the golf course? He's a greenkeeper. I was like, how's the course? He told me about the rain.

Wet, yeah. Yeah. And then he goes, so back to this V, what's going on? Didn't want to hear about anything to do with me. They dropped some off after the show yesterday. Oh, thank you. They sent them in. Yeah, thank you.

And we want to say thank you. Thank you. And this was the big moment because you were quite worried. I was nervous, yeah. Because they did a while ago say that they were changing things up, but it was like a publicity thing. I had to Google. Yeah, they'd said they did a while ago say that they were changing things up, but it was like a publicity thing. I had to Google, yeah, they said they were changing the recipe. No, they said

they were having a new flavour and everyone assumed it was the green one was changing, but it wasn't. It was like a brand new one. But they have changed some ingredients, and what have they said that this is? It's a smoother, fruitier, tastier version. Smoother. Nice. So more down your pinot,

your pinot noir. Pints of oak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barrelother. Nice. So more down your pinot, your pinot noir. Pints of oak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Barrel age. Buttery, buttery. Buttery, buttery Chardonnay vibes. You've tried this and you have V every day and can you honestly say that there's any difference in taste?

Genuinely no difference. And so then I text my dad with the good news. Oh, okay. Oh, this is good news. Great news. I don't want it to change. I love it. Okay, fair enough. So I said, dad with the good news. Oh, okay. Oh, this is good news. Great news. I don't want it to change. I love it. Okay, fair enough. So I said, just tried the new V. Good news.

Tastes the same. Okay. Here's what the great Colin has come back with. He thinks he's a philosopher sometimes. What am I going to say? Nice to think something in this world stays the same. Cheers. I'll have to check it out soon.

Thanks, Colin. It is nice to see. It's nice to see. Wait, your dad signs off a text message? Every single text he signs off. Sometimes it's love Colin slash dad, as if I might not remember that Colin's my dad. Maybe you've got more Collins in your life.

He doesn't know this. I don't know. But yeah, he's stoked. But he hasn't tried it yet. I'll have to go out to the golf course and have a look. But it seems like a lot of hoopla for nothing. Well, I mean, I'm assuming they also would have, like, you don't just change something.

There's like one ingredient that's different. They would have run some tests, right, with people, some focus groups. I wish I was asked. I looked at the back of the can, and the only thing that I can see that's not there on the new can that was written on the back of the old can is something called an isotol. Yeah.

Which I take as a supplement for polycystic ovarian syndrome, so I don't know what it's doing in a can of V. is something called... Inositol. Yeah, an isotol. Yeah. What is that? Which I take as a supplement for polycystic ovarian syndrome, so I don't know what it's doing in a can of V. It does something to, like, blood sugars in your insulin levels. Yes, it does. Okay. It balances certain chemicals in the body to help with mental conditions such as panic, depression,

or obsessive-compulsive disorder. I can confirm it doesn't do that. We don't read ingredients lists. No, we don't. We don't read ingredients lists. No, we don't. We don't read ingredients. We don't look at the ingredients. But this is great news. Yeah, so if you were like Colin slash dad,

and you were upset that this was going to make a change, and you were like, well, I'm going to boycott it, don't worry, it's exactly the same. I think we're fine, yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. God, it feels like a bloody disco in here, doesn't it? Disco.

Club, I meant. But then I said disco. Now, I was born in 89. It feels like a discotheque. Wow, he's crazy. It feels like Eastern German discotheque. Wow, you want to go to the... I don't know where I'm from.

Austria. You lost me till you dragged me down that weird accent path. There is a dating expert who shares dating tips on TikTok. Right. She's got a weird TikTok name. Welcome to the peasant party.

Okay. Why not? Her name is Charlotte and she has advice for you if you're considering what day of the week to go on a date. If you're someone

who's trying to get maybe a date in a week, if you're on the apps and whatnot, a first date I'm talking, or like a fresh new date. Yeah. And for me, I go like, I'd always go the weekend. There's a vibe, there's an energy out in town, things are happening. Did we mention once, I think it was Bumble or Tinder did a study,

and they were like Tuesday? Was it Tuesday or Wednesday? Tuesday or Wednesday, yeah. They're quite big because those are normally the quieter nights. And you can bail early. Yeah, and then people that work in bars as well always say like Tuesdays are the day you can just spot Tinder and Bumble dates.

Yeah. Well, her advice was that the worst day of the week to go on a date is Saturday. And she's given a whole bunch of reasons as to why. One of them is, like, during the week, say you work Monday to Friday, you're already up and out the house. You're dressed up for the day, you know,

and you're not just doing it for someone else. There's a lot of effort to, like, put into getting ready on a Saturday if you don't have to. Right. As one of her reasons. You can just go straight after work. Yeah. Right, okay.

She also goes like on the weekdays, you have more of a rigid schedule, whereas on the weekends, things pop up. Events pop up. You know, like a cool party pops up. A concert pops up. And now you've planned a date and your friend's like, oh, my God, we're going to this epic thing.

Come. And then you're like, oh, I've got to go to have a drink with this loser. Daniel, who I just chatted to for like two days. Who refuses to be called Dan or Danny. Yeah, refuses. When you call him Daniel, when you call him Danny, he's like, oh, it's Daniel. I prefer

Daniel. I'd be like, well, I prefer dating someone else, mate. Another thing is that during the week, like Saturdays tend to be a little bit more expensive. During the week, like Ubers are more expensive on Saturdays than they are during the week. You might get some surges. During the week you might get some like two for ones.

So she's anti-Saturday. Anti-Saturday, which I was like, oh, I think I would have always gone out for dates on the weekends. Then her main thing is, the great thing about going out any other day other than Saturday, maybe Friday kind of goes with Saturday, is that you have a built-in excuse if it's going wrong.

You have a built-in reason for why the night can't just keep going on. That you could just be like, oh man, this is really fun, but honestly, I start work really early in the morning. I've got to make my lunch and sandwiches for work tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Or should we go get another drink?

Oh, my God, I wish. Do you make your lunch and sandwiches the night before? I made a wrap for breakfast. I made that last night. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, so you could have said, I've got to get home to make my wraps. Yeah, I'm trying to get more protein into my life.

Yeah, yeah. But you chucked it in the bin. You said it was yuck. It was yuck. It was dry. Is it because you made it the night before? It was dry. I made scrambled eggs and put them into a wrap. Oh, yuck. It was yuck. It was dry. Is it because you made it the night before? It was dry. I made scrambled eggs and put them into a wrap.

Oh, yuck. No. What were you thinking? I know what I did. What were you thinking? I know what I did. It was dry. You should make some lunch and sandwiches.

I deserve to have no breakfast. Or you should have stayed out on that date with Danny. Yeah, well, Daniel. Sorry. Daniel. Daniel. Do not call him Danny. He'll flip.

The name his mother gave him. And don't go out on a date on Saturday Don't go on a date on Saturday Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Fact of the day Day, day, day, day Yeah Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Potter. Well, are they one? It's a little bit like you've said that wrong. I'm not, I'm not all up to date with my, my Latin. Yeah. So this, this beetle lives in rice paddy fields alongside a frog.

And they're like besties. No, they should have a predator prey relationship. And they're like, the unusual thing is the frog numbers are remaining the same and the beetles numbers are remaining the same. And one of them should be dominant because of the predator prey relationship. I would imagine the frog would be dominant because they just numb up the beetles. Unless they're one of those hard, crusty shell beetles that the frog can't do anything with. So let me tell you, as written in the Smithsonian magazine about this beetle,

first, the frog snags the beetle and gulps it down whole for a tense 100... You're going to chew. For a tense 115 minutes, so just shy of two hours. Yeah. Nothing happens. Oh. Then the great reveal.

The same shiny beetle wiggles its way out of the amphibian's anus, leaving both frog and beetle alive and seemingly no worse for wear although the beetle does look a little bit cleaner. Oh, so it's just had like a car wash. Yeah. A little beetle car wash. It's like the Willy Wonka machine. So they're like, this is why. The frog tries to

eat the beetle but the beetle just absolutely scurries through. It's digestive tract. And there's no stomach acids in the beetle, but the beetle just absolutely scurries through. It's digestive tract. And there's no stomach acids in the beetle. There are some, but the beetle goes through too quickly. That's why it looks cleaner. Oh, right. Yeah.

It's like kind of when you put like an old washer in a glass of fizzy. Yeah. It pulls off the rust and stuff. It's like bloody Indiana Jones running from the ball, and he's like looking behind as the stomach acid's coming. Yeah, but he's too quick. Go, go, go, go. So then they were like, oh, we're going to have to more widely test that.

So they put a few beetles through a few of these frogs and found that a whopping 93.3% of the time the beetles were able to escape via the cloaca. Oh, wow. Sadly, though, that means 6.6666 continuous beetles out of the 100 died. Right, but hence why there's the same amount of beetles and frogs. Yeah, so then they were like, I wonder if it would get through other frogs or those beetles have evolved to be particularly good at getting through that frog.

Yep. And they found that they could get through with a similarly high success rate for four other frog species. Huh. Wow. And if you're into it, not for everybody, there's a YouTube video. Wow. Wait, so do they put one in and then do they time lapse or do they come cut? They time lapse.

Oh, okay. They time lapse. I don't have two hours to wait for a beetle to come out of a frog. They speed it up. Oh, good. They speed it up. Oh, gosh. And then it passes out the other end and they're just like, ta-da.

Like you said, a little beetle baby. Yeah. A little beetle baby. So, I mean, that's just great advice. If you're ever swallowed whole, don't give up. Because you never know how close you are to the anus. It's a metaphor for life, really, isn't it? Don't give up.

Don't give up. Because if you're swallowed whole, you never know how close you are to the anus. Don't give up. Just head for the cloaca. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't say cloaca because you might not be swallowed by something with a cloaca. But either way, you're going to come out cleaner and you're going to have a rebirth of life. Yeah, you go boogie boogie.

Boogie through there though. Muck around. Just keep on keeping on. Just keep your head up. Yeah, keep your head up. Beautiful. Be positive. Yep.

Is there a way we can put this on the T-shirt? You could be sliding out of something's cloaca or anus in no time at all. So today's fact of the day is there is a Japanese beetle that can be eaten by a frog and come out the other end uninjured and maybe even a little bit cleaner. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. We'll say I've been dreaming of Mallorca

because I've been watching Love Island and that's where they film it. Mallorca. Would this be one of the hottest weather temperatures and seasons? They were in a heat wave on Love Island and you could see the days where it happens because none of them are out in the

usually they lounge outside and they're all in the shady areas or inside for the whole episode. Like animals at the zoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just hide and you can't see them anymore. But last night I said to Aaron, do you mind, like I cooked us dinner and, you know, maybe we should have spent some time together. I said, do you mind if I put my headphones in?

I need to, I've got one and a half episodes of Love Island. And then you're done. And then I'm done. And you didn't see any spoilers online? No. Wow. I would see, you know, because we scour the internet every night for stuff for us to talk to you guys about.

And I would see a lot of it quickly. Yeah. And then I would minimise my prep and be like, I've got to get out of this internet. And then last night I went to go do prep and I was like, and I stopped because it was the finale. Oh, so you've got to watch it before you do that. Watch the finale because it doesn the finale. Oh, so you got to watch it before you did that. Watch the finale

because it doesn't really feel like a competition, the show, but there is 50 pounds, 50,000 pounds, like $100,000 up for grabs at the end. I found out the winners. I'm happy. It was a great season

and I was reluctant to start watching it, but I thought, you know, one of us better. And then about Ep 2, I'm like, and she's in. And she's hooked. Anyway, the thing I love most about Love Island is it's 54, 55 episodes in total of just complete trash.

Pure trash. I mean, you can recognise that. So that's 55 days that I have been enjoying this because I watch one episode a day. Or if I miss one, I'll watch two. It's like just a good escape, right? It is. And that's why I try to explain to Aaron,

who is just like, whenever I watch without headphones, he's like. It's like, because I feel like you're like mugging me off. I feel like you're like not being genuine. I feel like. And he's like, oh my God, Hayley. Hayley, Hayley, Hayley. I'm like, just let me zone out to this.

Yeah. Anyway, now I'm in a panic. And this happens every year after Love Island and Married at First Sight Australia. I have this gap. And I don't know what to do with it. Are you getting emotional? Sure, like read a book. Okay.

What about the entire literary works of William Shakespeare? I've read them all. Oh, you've already done that. Multiple times. Right. Yeah. Some of them suck. Henry IV, part one.

Henry V, part two. What about some really intricate, you know, like... But I know, every night, look, I just finished The Beer. I went brr, like this. Now, that is some high-end, great Emmy Award winning television. Television, yeah. Every now and then I want that. I do want that and I watch it periodically,

but I need my daily trash. You haven't watched Succession yet? No. Too much. Right, you want trash trash Too much mental headspace I've got a busy brain Yeah I've got a very busy brain

And I want some trash I'm watching Twisted Metal But it's not really your It's definitely not your cup of tea It's based off a video game And it's easy to watch And it's silly and trashy But it's like entertaining

Parts of the time So you want You want some help now To find the next trashy reality show that you can binge. Yeah. Yeah. I want, I'm talking like, I'm too hot to handle.

I'm talking. Have you watched Love is Blind? Listen to a podcast and Greta Gerwig, director, writer of Barbie. Yeah. Love is Blind. Love is Blind. Is that the one where they're behind the walls? Yeah, they don't get to meet each other or something? Yeah, they don't get to meet each other or something?

Yeah, they don't get to meet each other. I think I watched some of it. Right. Would be better if they actually made the people blind. Just with some eye drops, just temporarily. Yeah, sure. Reversibly blind. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's what I want. Text us, 9696. What about Selling Sunset? Have you watched that? Yeah, see, now a lot of people are into that. I know a lot of people are into that, yeah. Yeah, because I think Sade gave it a go

because our very good friend is just like absolutely into it. But I don't know if it was quite up her alley. Right, well, you want some suggestions. 0800 DALS at M, call us, text in 9696. This is what you want, Hayley. You want trash. Easily digestible trash. Yeah.

I want the white bread of TV. Okay. I want regular episodes. Don't give me a 10-ep season thing. Okay. What if there are multiple seasons? Yeah. Okay.

I'll have to go back to like a season one of like a something. Okay. Yeah. And something that I can just like tune out of if I need to. Right. And so you love Love Island. You love Married at First Sight. I love Married at First Sight Australia. I love MasterChef.

Okay. I'm open to food. I'm open to food. Yeah, okay. Some suggestions to fill this giant Love Island-sized hole in Hayley's heart. The text machine's blowing up. We'll get to those next. Thank you.

I have asked you and you have responded. And I'm very grateful. I need a new trash series to watch, Love Island. I watched the finale last night. No spoilers. It's over. No spoilers from me. I wouldn't ruin it for you. You need something new. I need something to film. Tegan's called. Good morning, Tegan. Hey, how you

going? Good. What's your suggestion for Hayley? So, it's on Netflix and it's called Dated Related. Oh, okay. Will you date your brother? Yeah, yeah. I thought so too.

I thought it was pretty weird, like a weird name. But no, it's essentially like siblings go to like a retreat, like what is it called? Too Hot to Handle. And essentially like they're wing women and wing men for their siblings to find partners for them. I see, I see, I see. Do you want to be on a dating show and like sort out your sister's dates?

I wouldn't do that. No? I'd just be like... Nah, not for me. If I was had to wing man my brother, I'd probably be like, oh no, you could do better than him. What's the... Scoot, scoot, scoot. Quick, run now.

Yeah, yeah. I'll distract him. Tia, what's the trash level of this show out of 10? Oh, it's pretty, like, it's pretty up there, I'd say. Probably close to too hot to handle. Sure. Okay. On a scale of bins just been emptied to,

you're having to, like, stomp the trash in to get the lid to shut so the rubbish bin of people will take it. How, what are we talking? I have pretty much binged the whole first season in probably like three days. Is it British or US? US, I think, yeah. See, I think British do trashy television.

Same, same. Yeah, because they're so like, ah, they're rougher. Yeah. Tegan, thank you very much. April, what's the show's suggestion for Hayley? Good morning, guys. Farmer Wants a Wife is back tomorrow night. Now, what's the deal with this season?

Because I've seen they're incorporating a lady farmer. Finally. Yeah, but is she looking for a wife too? Or is she looking for a husband? Because it's Farmer Wants a Wife. I'm not sure, but it could be both.

She might even be competing with the non-farmer wives. But then you need a whole new show called Farmer Wants a Thrupple if you want a man and a woman. Are you talking, April, the Australian or the American? Oh, it's got to be Australian. I invented it, didn't I? This looks like a bit of me. I could get into this, Farmer Wants a Wife.

It starts tomorrow night. A lot of people are messaging in. I could get into this. Farmer Wants Life. Starts tomorrow night. A lot of people are messaging in. Some old seasons you can binge to catch up as well. Yeah, that's where I'm at. April, thank you. Thank you for all of these incredible suggestions. Honestly. For trash TV shows to fill up my love island.

Were you making a... Hole. Were you making notes in your phone and writing these down? Yeah, I've written a huge list, actually. So your suggestions are coming thick and fast. Sophie, what do you recommend for Hayley? Vanderpump Rules. I've heard of this and I've never watched it

because isn't it a spin-off off of Housewives? Yeah, it's starring Lisa Vanderpump from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills which I totally recommend as well. And it's like all of the people from her restaurant and it is utter

brilliant trash but it's also like massive in pop culture at the moment and there was a big cheating scandal that was huge and you've got like 10 series with like, I think like 18 episodes so it's like a full time

job. Oh my god, see that's what you need. Yeah, I heard the scandal and I had no context for it so I sort of was like, oh I feel a bit left out. You need to get amongst it. And a big shout out to my best friend, Shauna Gooden, who recently just returned back from America And she bought me back a tote bag

From the restaurant, it was like the highlight of my life That's got to be good for business for her Right? People will want to go to the restaurant that they've seen on the television Yeah It's amazing She's getting paid to make the show, she's getting paid by the restaurant Sophie, thank you Miranda, what's the show. She's getting paid by the restaurant.

Sophie, thank you. Miranda, what's the show you can recommend for Hayley to fill the Love Island void? To be fair, it's not trash, but it's a dating show called Down for Love. So it's a dating show for people with Down syndrome in New Zealand. I've watched that. You've watched it? I've watched it.

Okay, right. It's so beautiful. Wholesome? It's so wholesome. Well, is this the one I watched as well? The girl had saved up all her money and bought a spa pool, and on her second date she had the spa. Yes, yes.

Oh, my God. That show, I cried, I think, watching that show most of the time. I know. Actually, though, you've kind of reminded me, and this is good for our listeners who want a good show to binge. I'm going to go back. I'm going to go back and dip a second time. Are they doing another season?

Do you know Miranda? Yeah, near the end of the year it's filmed already so they're going to be doing another one. I'm in the know because I have a child with Down syndrome.

Oh, so you're in. You're getting in. We're in the know. I'm somewhat in the know. He's too young to date yet but one day. Oh, so what? You're already lining him up?

Yeah. This poor little bastard's got no idea what mum's lined him up for in 10 to 15 years. There's a few suitors ready. Oh, I love that, Miranda. Jesus, this is like English royalty, isn't it? You want them lined up before they're even old enough to know what's going on. It's on TV. I know.

Right, if you want to binge the last season. Miranda, thank you for the inside scoop as well. For the new season. Some more messages in. There's so many suggestions. Below Deck is very popular. Below Deck, that's about

a boat. And working on, I think it's about the people that work on the super yachts. They've done like a billion seasons. I think you're right. I think it's about the people that work on the super yachts. Yes. They've done like a billion seasons. I think you're right. I think it's one billion seasons. So lots for you to catch up there if you go down that route.

Love Island USA started about a week ago, some people have said, but then they won't do it as well as the British. There's something for me about watching Love Island. It's like all about the chat. It's the banter. Yeah. It's the banter. Yeah. I said banter. It's the banter, mate.

And I don't know if I can get into the American one. It'll just annoy me. Yeah, with Valley Girl accents. Oh, my God. These are such good suggestions. Is it cake? Oh, my God, yes. I watched a whole season in a day when I went from brunette to blonde

with my hairdresser, Shari. We just watched it. I was like, Shari, this is trash. And then I was like, that's clearly cake. And they're like, is it cake? No, it's not. And I was like, what? Blew my mind. I can't recommend it enough. 90 Day Fiance.

Oh, is that good? I don't know. Netflix has got Love on the Spectrum. Perfect Match is a good one. There's one called The Ultimatum on Netflix, and then they've done The Queer Ultimatum. Oh, yeah. Bloody gay agenda, eh?

I'm always down to support the gay agenda. It's just such a full agenda. I'm sorry. You sit down and the agenda is shock for the day. Someone said Bollywood Love Island. Get out of here. But do they do that? They won't be able to do the stuff because you don't kiss,

even Bollywood's not, they don't do the kissing so there'll be no dry humping. Yeah, but do they, a siren sounds and they break into dance? Full choreographed? No, there isn't a Bollywood Love Island but there's an Indian reality show

called Splits Villa. Okay. Very similar to Love Island set in India. Far out. Very similar to Love Island. Set in India. Far out. Well, there you go. Thank you.

You have a giant list of TV shows. Thank you, everyone. Thank you for being trash. Is that the podcast done? Because I'm busting for a poos. Busting for a poos. Jesus. Give us a review.