ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 3rd May 2024

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Top 6: Prison Slushies  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings: Talk Shows  Shannon's Dentist Trip  Do you Have a Sugar Partner?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, happy Friday. Happy Friday. Or as Vaughan likes to say, happy Fri-yay.

I don't like to say it. He signs his emails, happy Fri-yay. I don't like to say it. He does, he does. He loves his emails. Happy Fri-yay. I don't like to say it. He does. He does. He loves a nickname for the day of the week. I hate a nickname for the day of the week. Yesterday you emailed us.

Thursday, Thursday. He always says when he comes in on Thursday. Or he said happy Junior Friday on a Thursday. Almost swore there. What did you... No. I don't know why. On Mondays, because Monday's always hard after a week, and he always says,

Monday, more like fun day. And he's like... Yeah, he's not what I do. Real motivational force in our office. I don't know why it annoys me so much when people give nicknames for the days of the week. I don't know why. Why are you tapping your arm

like you're about to shoot heroin? I've got eczema. Ouch. Yeah, it's like... It's all on my chest Oh yeah And my arms Have you got your

Hydrocortisone cramp Yeah I know But I don't want to put I was saying this to Aaron Who's like You need to deal with this Before it gets worse But I don't want to get

Old lady neck Crepe neck Crepe neck I don't want crepe neck And you know Like hydrocortisone Thins the skin This is where it gets thin

On a lady already I can't be doing it. Shannon feels me. So you've got to get a thicker skin there to avoid the crap neck. Got to get a callous neck. Right. Big, thick, plumped up neck. Speaking of body issues, yesterday, I don't know,

we didn't talk about it on air, but mysterious gut bruise. Yeah. Is it getting worse? Yes. Yeah. Much worse. That's weird. This is how my shingles started last time.

Oh, mate. But you've had shingles before. That means I'm more likely to get it again. Oh, no. No, no. And you're pretty run down and stressed at the moment. Oh, yeah. And then at the start of the week, the kids both went back to school for one day and came

back and they were like, everyone at school's got colds and COVID. And I was like, well, I just had a cold so I won't get it today. Sore throat. No, look, most people get shingles only once. 1.2% of people

get shingles another time. It would be my luck. I'm always like, oh, I've got to hit those long odds. Never heard of it. Long odds for shingles more than once.

That'll be my odds. Yeah, not long odds but a lotto. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be a way better long odds. But is it itchy because shingles are itchy? Not yet. Oh, okay. But if you poke it, it doesn't hurt a lotto. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be a way better lolot. But is it itchy because I'm shingles itchy?

Oh, okay. But if you poke it, it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. Or ask Dr. Shawnee. Let's send him a photo. He loves to help us out for free. He does. He loves to give us free medical advice.

Sometimes we're like, please let us pay you for a consult. Let us pay you. He's like, no, no, no. Please just keep bringing me your stuff. I think I'm having a drink with him tonight. I might hit him up in person. What do you mean?

Oh, I'm sorry. Did Vaughn organise a drink with a couple of key members of the gaggle and not invite everybody? Yes, he did. Hayley and I don't know about this. Well, I nearly swore. You've got comedy gala. Yeah, but I'm hanging around.

What? I'm hanging around beforehand. I'm just literally talking. What time do you have to be there? Like 7.30. Okay. This is unbelievable. I was literally talking to Dr. Shawnee yesterday,

and he didn't say anything about this. I think he was the last minute, like, tagging. What are you tagging to whom? To what? I don't know what's happening. Sade's organising it. I've got nothing to do with it. Oh, wow.

Okay, wow. It's quiet. It's quiet. Wow. We have not been invited. It's quiet. What was Sade and Sean? Oh, wow. Okay, wow. It's quiet. It's quiet. Wow. We have not been invited. It's quiet. What with Sade and Sean. Oh, yeah, that sounds quiet. It's quiet.

Unbelievable. Well, you can get your T-shirt up and ask him then. I will. Thanks. Wow. We'll have a drink in town and we'll make it way more fun. Yeah, this hurts. We'll send videos like,

woo, it's getting crazy over here. And I'll be like, already at home. Thanks. Have a great night, guys. FOMO is just not... The top six is coming up on the show. Yes, prison slushies were back in the

news. They gave the prison guards slushing machines because they didn't have air con, right? Is that right? Correct. Yeah. Here's a really unhealthy drink. Yeah. Probably leading to type, he's a really unhealthy drink. Yeah. Probably leading to type 2 diabetes with all the sugary syrup.

They are yum. Yeah. But the costs came out. People are like, meh, meh. That's the exact noise they made. Meh. And I've got the top six prison-flavoured slushies

because I reckon let them have their slushies. I was about to swear again. I was going to say F being a security, F being a prison guard. Oh, yeah, it'd be so hard. What are hard? You're like, God. Unless there's hot prisoners, in which case, you know. Yeah, but much like getting shingles twice in one's lifetime,

those are long odds. No, no, no. TV has led us to believe that every prisoner's a hot bad boy. I reckon she'd be pretty rough going in there. Well, we'll get into that with the top six soon on the show, but next. I have a way to make you feel better about yourself, if that's where

you're at at the moment. It's only going to take one week. One week of your time. Nice and easy. Okay. I've got a hot little study in my hand, actually. It hasn't even been released or published yet. But how did you get it? I have my ways in the science world. Okay.

You've got science hookups. You think I'm just a funny little silly girl? Oh, no, man. I'm all over the world of science. And Professor Jennifer Mills has actually personally sent me this article. Via a website that you found? No. Professor Jennifer Mills has personally sent it to me. She said, good morning, Hayley.

Huge fan. Think you're wonderful and love everything that you do for women and comedy. And I thought you would enjoy this study. Okay. That looked into the effects of social media. Is this Jennifer Mills, the Faculty of Health at York University? Yeah, it is. Do you know of her?

Old friend. Interesting. Old friend. You literally just Googled her. Registered clinical psychologist. Yeah, registered clinical psychologist. She knows her stuff. Blonde, shoulder length hair.

Oh, that's her, yeah. Loves a black blazer and a white t-shirt. Yeah. She is... Is she still wearing that gold chain That her father got her That her father Clint got her Yeah

So She has long Like her area of expertise Looks into the She researches like eating disorders And the effects of media Like magazines And movies And all sorts,

and the impact it has on women and their self-esteem. Jesus, that's a big piece of something to bite into, isn't it? We could dive headfirst into that. Her work will never be done. But this is a new study that's now looking at social media, which there hasn't really been a lot of because it's still like, you know, it's relatively new social media

and the impacts of social media on particularly young women's self-esteem and self-image issues, I guess. And she took 66 young universities, so like, not like teenagers.

I suppose that would probably be a bit unsafe, but 66 female undergrads and got half of them to continue their social media use as they do. Don't increase it or don't change the stuff they look at, but just continue on. And the other half, which is a group I wouldn't want to be part of, had to refrain from Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram and other social media for a week. And then they were surveyed before and after the experiment and asked questions about how they perceive themselves

and how they feel about their body. And they said one week, one week off, and their whole entire perspective and feeling about their body was drastically changed. Because they weren't bombarded with unrealistic images. Unrealistic images. Other people having fun. Filtered, you know, Photoshopped things.

I follow this woman called Danae Mercer or something like that. She's like a body positive person. Right. And she'll post these videos and you're like Oh wow yeah like that's a video And then she'll like go pop and the filter Comes off it and she's like a completely Different body completely different

Size Cause it's not you know like we know photoshop You can like do it with like videos Now And you just can't tell So no wonder people are seeing it and being like, wow, what a crazy, insane body. So just one week and people already felt better about themselves. Yeah. Wow. And my friend, our joint friend, Jennifer, Jenny, we call her. Right.

The scientist. Jenny from the... I always call her Dr. Mills, just out of respect for the fact that since 2001, she's had a PhD in psychology, of course, from the University of Toronto, her time in Canada. I know. Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. Well, I call her Jenny, but I guess it's like a girl.

We're kind of like girlfriends. It's a girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's very excited by this because, you know, so much of her research since she graduated from Toronto in 2001 has been looking at, looking at magazines and advertising. Because it's in the news in France at the moment. They've commissioned a big study and report,

and they reckon this commission has recommended banning children using smartphones until the age of 13. Yeah. Yeah, not just social media, right? They reckon smartphones. But then sometimes you talk to some adults, and you're like, you shouldn't also have the internet.

You should also be banned. You know, like you've done some conspiracy rabbit hole and you're like, put the phone down, hon. Wasn't France going to ban Photoshopping on images, on advertising? France was the first country that made it illegal to have any form of photo editing without a thing down in the corner saying, this photo has been edited or filtered.

Yeah, right. Or I believe in French it said les photos haditoutou croissant. Yeah. Croissant. Les photos croissant. Une edit. Les photos croissant.

Une skinny in real life. Bonjour. Croissant. Well, put the phone down for a week at least if you want to feel good. Yeah, totally. Give it a go. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Well, hello there. In 2018, it was a very controversial move that $6,000, near $6,000 slushy machines, 193 of them had been purchased and put in Department of Corrections facilities around New Zealand that were very, very hot and apparently couldn't be air conditioned. Just old buildings?

Just old, massive buildings not made for air conditioning. Yeah. I guess. All this hot climate we now have. Yeah, well, it's getting hotter and hotter and hotter, right? In 2018 it was a big rigmarole. Simon Bridges, who was the leader of the opposition

at the time, remember he yelled slushies? And then he said, I wouldn't be surprised if the prisoners are getting their lips around those slushies. That's right! Getting their lips. The way he hit lips everyone was like, ugh, that was an ick. I don't know, It was sort of fun. It was sort of a fun time.

Because people think it's prisoners getting slushies, right? But it's the prison guards. Yeah. It's the guards. So the Department of Corrections has confirmed of the 193 slushie machines purchased, 160 are still in use. 33 either broken or unaccounted for.

Oh, no. Now, the reason it's a problem is that the Department of Corrections has spent $217,000 on syrups. Now, I just went and found some syrups. I googled slushy syrup NZ. I found some at gofood.co.nz. The simple slushy flavor is $14 a bottle. Yep.

And that bottle will make a lot of slushies. God, that's just pure sugar too. Yum. So I divided the total by 14. Oh, we've done some math here. 15,500 slushie bottles have been purchased. How many slushies per bottle? How many slushies per bottle?

Do you know what I mean? This one will make up, oh, it doesn't say. Multiple. I mean, that's how much you pour in, isn't it? Yeah, it's how sweet. Because, you know, if mum went out and the rule was, because we used to get our Raro, or sometimes the budget version.

Oh, what was that? There was a thrifty. No, it wasn't a concentrated liquid. No. There was an off-brand Raro. Vitafresh. Vitafresh. Vitafresh.

And sometimes it would come in a pottle and you were supposed to put in however many scoops if mum wasn't watching. Oh yeah, more scoops. More scoops. It's like Milo

when mum wasn't watching. Yeah, oh my god, eight spoons. Eight spoons of Milo. You're telling me all of these prison guards' mums are constantly watching if they're

glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glugging it up? True that. Well, that and the maintenance has also cost I had a breakdown of the maintenance. When are you going Dad's mums are constantly watching if they're glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug $2,000? Unless someone's willing to sump up to have these places made comfortable for their employers for their employees and their employees are government employees

Yeah Why don't they buy those They need them at the slushies Go on Teemu and buy those caps with fans in them Hot I've always wanted one of those

Make them solar powered too Yes So if they're fan cells who are going to have to do a yard lap Yeah Great charger up Get a little bit of a charge on it.

And then buy them those fans that also have a squirty bottle in them. With mist. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, misty bottles. But we're thinking of ideas. We're solving problems. Earlier in the week, we were like, the Brunduan slip wouldn't have happened this week if we'd been in charge.

No. Cutbacks must be stepped. Who did the steps? Cutbacks must be stepped. What were you expecting, Brinduins? Come on. It's a dirt mountain. It's not rock.

Grow up. Cutbacks must be stepped. Well, I've got the top six prison-flavored slushies. Because I think if you can keep the slushie machines, then let's order them these flavors from Gilmore's. Number six on the list of the prison-flavored slushies, regret. Oh, wow. So even if they don't have any regret,

I think regret would probably be brown. What's the colour of regret? What's the colour of regret? It's a dark colour. Maybe black. Murky. Maybe it's a cold colour.

Dark blue. Oh, yeah. Okay. Dark blue, regret. What colour resembles regret? Dark blue. Someone said blue means sad, so you might go

a dark blue because it's in the sad family it's sad adjacent isn't it regret it is it is

number five on the list of the top six prison flavoured slushies smuggled cell phone flavoured slushies oh yeah

brown I was going to say like silver it's got glitter in it oh okay brown with a hint of glitter

yeah the tech sort of element I like that yeah It's got glitter in it Oh okay Brown with a hint of Glitter Yeah For the tech Tech sort of Element I like that Yeah Number four on the list Of the top six

Prison flavoured slushies Are inappropriate contact With prisoners Oh yeah This is where you're The guard And you see a hot prisoner That's red

Yeah yeah That's red for passion I can fix you What are you in for Murder Yeah yeah yeah I can fix you All it would take

Is one of them With their tattoos Looking at me I'd be like uh oh He's a naughty boy Don't do it Hayley What did he do? Breaking and entering

We're all good Killed a man Kicked open the door Damn That's a bit yuck That's yuck Number three on the list of the top six prison flavoured slushies Green

Which I believe is the only colour not currently associated with a gang One of the main colours. It's a neutral colour. Is there a green gang? No, because they don't want to be green screened into funny things online. That's why. That's why. That's why.

With a green outfit. That's why. The headhunters were like, what about fresh green? And they were like, Photoshop. We can't have that. We can't have that. Yeah. We won't have it.

The person who does the graphic design for the mongrel mob will put us in all sorts of silly situations. They'll put diddles. Yeah. Dare they. Number two on the list of the top six prison-flavoured slushies, Conjugal Visit. Oh, yeah. Okay. And what colour is that?

Peach. Peachy pink? Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking pink. Or cream. Yuck, you put me off my slushie. And number one on the list of the top six prison flavoured slushies, lemon lime.

It's just the best flavour. It's just great. It's just the best flavour. Great flavour. If you want to cool down. Yeah, because you want to cool down, but you also need a little tang. A little tang. Lemon lime.

Refreshing. And the smell of it's always better than the other smells of the slushies. Grow up Have a lemon lime And thank you For your service To this country's Correctional facilities

That's today's Subsex Guys Whip out your dental dams Because What? Dust off that old thing That old cloth There's a new

Little known STI Well it's not new little known STI. Well, it's not new, but it's, you know, no one knew it was around. Right. It's not one of the main ones that everybody knows about. Gonorrhea, syphilis, your chlamydia, your herpes, your crabs. Yeah. You know, there's your big five.

Didn't we know someone that fly sprayed their crabs? Is that a story I feel like Someone we know Fly sprayed their crabs Yeah I'm just trying To think who it was It was definitely Someone eh

I mean when you Think of it I reckon Don't say their name Oh Because if it was I was going to say Their name

Their nickname Their partner Their now partner's name. Yeah, great. Their surname. Hope it would get back to them. Their mother's phone number. Their address.

So you could all give her a ring and tell her. Well, this STI has seen a 25- It worked, though. Yeah, I believe it did. Piss off. A crucial part of the story that you missed is that they shave their pubes, fly spray. You're not supposed to, aren't you? I don't know.

Don't they burrow in the skin? I don't even know they were still a thing, are they? Crabs were still a thing. Yeah, maybe that's why. Maybe that's why crabs aren't around. Because everyone was getting rid of their pubes, that crabs were an endangered species. Yeah.

God. Save the crabs, you know? Yeah, Quora says it works, and Quora is the internet's ask a question. Yeah, Quora says it works and Quora is the internet's ask a question. Oh, get out. Quora's professional Reddit. Oh, doesn't recommend females doing it. I guess because of the opening.

Guys, don't fly spray your genies. Not good for your pH, I'll tell you that. Right now. I'd run a little strip of hot glue just to seal yours up before you did it. Hot glue. I would recommend not. I would recommend in the last five minutes

has been nothing but satire. Yes. We do know someone that did that, but we thoroughly do not recommend it. Exactly. Go to your doctor. Please seek a medical health professional's opinion. I'll run this by Dr. Shawnee tonight

when I'm catching up with him. Without you two. You still haven't said why. We're actually going off to an incredibly private party. Enjoy, have a great time. That is going to be... Can we go to our favourite restaurant before your show? Yeah, we should.

Okay, good. Anyway, that'll teach them. Okay, so this is called Shigella. Or Shigella. S-H-I-G-E-L-L-A. It is a bacterial rather than a viral infection. Highly infectious bacteria, which commonly causes diarrhea and vomiting, abdominal pain and fever.

Oh, God. They all sound terrible, don't they? None of that. Can't fly spray that away. Caused by bacteria found in the faeces. So this would be if perhaps you were incorporating, and it's not just a gay thing, if you were incorporating some... Careful.

Rare play. Is this my podcast or what are we on? No, no, we're on the FM here. I'm on the CDC website. This is the Centers for Disease Control. Yeah, and the American side. And it's not just like sexual contact as well. It's children as well.

You can be changing nappies. Yeah, right. Wait, so it's always been there? Yeah, it's always been around. It's always been there, but the reason they're calling it like an STI is because the reason for its increase is it's getting transmitted sexually. Yeah. As opposed to, what did you say

when we talked about it this morning? Swimming pools. Yeah, yeah, that's on the list. Swallowing water that you swim or play in, such as lake water or improperly treated swimming pool water. I was gonna say Code Browns. Code Browns, yeah. Public swimming pools are so heavily chlorinated. Yeah.

Very unlikely. But yeah, if you were in a pool that wasn't, I guess. But yeah, also sexual contact. Yeah. But it kind of goes away. Symptoms usually start one to two days and last seven days. Yeah, but you can get antibiotics and whatnot. Right.

But yeah, it's been hugely on the rise. It's been reported in New Zealand as well. It's been reported in New Zealand as well. It's been reported in New Zealand for sure. I think it's just, it's like a bacterial, you know, like a bug. Sounds a bit like Giardia. Yeah, Giardia. But now people are saying like warning if you're going

to be playing around that area. It's sort of evolved. It's stepped up. Yes. It went from just a dirty pond bacteria thing to a STI. Is that like a congratulations? For the promotion? Yeah.

It's going up to the Premier League. Well done. It's a situation. I don't know if we should be clapping. Oh, my God. I don't know. Would you like a text? Someone's text message.

Okay, yeah, go ahead. Speaking of STIs, our mate's a pharmacist. He said recently he had a guy come into the chemist with a paper towel. He put the paper towel on the counter and asked if they had anything to help him with these. Open up the paper towel full of crabs. Oh my God! And he's like, these are the ones I could pick out. No, just describe it!

Just describe it! Don't take it in! No! Pete, it's No Sea machine madness You have to shut down The pharmacy now That's a spran wipe

That's four spran wipes That's um That's you've got to Shut down the pharmacy I'm sorry for a day And clean it all up Code C Code crabs

Code crabs Oh And not the fun sort of crabs Oh no Not the fun sort of code crabs Where you go You take someone out For a surprise delicious crab

You know you're Sosho crab And there's the crackers And you've got a bib on And you're dipping it In garlic Oh my god That's my sort of code

See Imagine that you're a pharmacist Someone opens it And they've got Here's my scab I bet pharmacists Would see All manner of things

Of people who don't Want to go to the doctor Yes but you're supposed To go into the pharmacy And whisper in a hushed tone. Hey, somebody, I've got something. What about this? Not bring in your physical crabs.

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Now, sad news, devastating news, actually, for fashion people out there. Yeah. New Zealand Fashion Week cancelled. Not cancelled as in, like, you know, bad tweets. Just not happening.

Not postponed another year till 2025. Because it went off, it postponed during COVID times, and it was back last year in a big way. And then this year they're like challenging economic environment, a sense of responsibility to the local fashion industry. Those are the two main reasons it's cancelled. Because it's a lot. A lot of events have, eh?

Yeah. Like big events. Every other year, festivals and stuff. Yes, yeah. Saying we'll be back next year, we're going to take this year off. I think as well because it's not just that people can't really afford to attend Fashion Week. Yeah.

It's that the clothing designers can't afford to put the shows on. It costs a lot of money. I just thought you made clothes and, oh, but then you've got to pay models. You've got to pay models. You've got to do hair and makeup. You've got to do the design of the runway. You've got to pay models. You've got to do hair and makeup. You've got to do the design of the runway. You've got to have the concept of it all. Last year, Zambezi's was all outside.

What was the fashion label that would just turn up at a supermarket and do it there? Cotton On. No. It was one of the big ones. It was one of the flash ones. No, it was Cotton On. It was Cotton On. No, the models are going to walk past the Frozens.

Oh. I like that. It's on a show in supermarket. I like that. Wasn't it Stolen Girlfriends or one of those? It was definitely like a New Zealand brand. They'd done like a weird warehouse some other year. Now I'm seeing why.

I think you don't have to design your runway if it's just the Frozen section. Yeah. I Googled it and it just came up with Remembering Big Fresh. And I mean, that was a supermarket, you know. Sort of a fashion in itself, wasn't it? Yeah, I know. So yeah, they announced it yesterday that it's not going to happen.

So it's not that designers aren't making clothes. It's just that they can't afford to put the runway shows on. What about all the hot models? I know. What's terrible news for our New Zealand models? That's a big job they're missing out on there. So I mean, when I say our New Zealand, I That's a big job they're missing out on there. So, I mean, when I say our New Zealand, I'm referring to myself

as well. Well, that's why when I said what about our hot models, I looked at you. I knew you'd refer to me. Yeah. Well, I'm devastated at all. I won't book anything for Fashion Week this year, which is devastating. How many usually happen? August. Yeah. How many shows

were you in last year? 25. Were there even 25 shows? 25. Wow. Literal shows. You modelled in all of them. Yeah. I started off the morning at Zambezi,

then I went over to Kate Sylvester, popped into Karen Walker, of course. I liked your Pagani show. My Pagani... Your Pagani show was my favourite, actually. It was revolutionary. It was a shame that as I walked, the clothes did fall apart.

You know, that was devastating. Your JJ show was probably up there for me. Yeah, really? Yep. Interesting. I think why I really strutted in Posty Plus. Yeah, you really did. Because I changed my walk for each brand to represent

the brand. Yeah. My Posty Plus was almost like you really did. Because I changed my walk for each brand to represent the brand. Yeah. My Posty Plus was almost like a light jog. Just to get off the stage. I thought she was running back into the shop to demand a refund. As Posty Plus people would.

Don't come for Posty Plus. You know? Look, I enjoy walking for all brands. Yeah, you don't care who you walk for. No, I do care.

I care deeply, but this year I'll be walking for no one. You'll see me and wow, today I'm wearing sort of cheap

drop shipped Chinese rip off Lululemon, so maybe I'll pop to China and see if they want me to model those. Play. Zidim's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. What little boy. Silly little boy.

What extras do you get when buying sushi? That was close. You were so close. There's an Instagram account we like where a Vietnamese girl says, oh, people always say to her, oh, my God, we love the Vietnamese accent. Can you say some words for me? Yeah. And she plays it up.

It's not a sexy accent. And then she really hits it with thick Vietnamese accent. Yeah. And the way she says sushi is funny. Yeah. And she plays it up. It's not a sexy accent. And then she really hits it with thick Vietnamese accent. Yeah. And the way she says sushi is funny. Yeah. But you, why don't you say it?

It's too scary. Gotcha. It's, yeah. Canceled. No, I didn't, I didn't fall off. He thought about it though.

Oh God, he thought about it. I thought about it. I got too comfortable with my privilege. What extras do you get when you're buying sushi? The options, ginger, wasabi, neither or both. I got too comfortable. My privilege. What extras do you get when you're buying sushi? The options ginger, wasabi, neither or both.

I go ginger, no wasabi. I don't like horseradish. Because sometimes it's not actually wasabi, is it? All the time it's not wasabi. It's green horseradish. Unless you're in like a Japanese restaurant. A proper high-end Japanese restaurant. Yeah, right.

Okay. You go nothing. I go nothing. And you go everything. Although sometimes I'll get it. But then I'm like, it's real hot. I love the ginger, man. I go nothing. And you go everything. Although sometimes I'll get it. But then I'm like, it's real hot. I love the ginger, man. I go ginger only.

Neither is the highest. Okay. Really? 51% of people do not get wasabi and they don't get ginger. Ginger's where it's at. The second is ginger. 22% of people are just getting ginger. Third, both, people who only get wasabi are only representative of 10% of the response.

I reckon I go to the sushi shop next to work once or twice a week. Every single week. And he still tries to upsell me on the miso. I'm like, I never want a miso. Stop asking. Read the room. Read the room on the miso, man. We ain't here for soup, man.

Laura says, people who get both wasabi and ginger have rocks in their head. Why? Why? I'm sorry, Laura. I want a kick and I want a little tang. I want a kick and a tang. It's good balance.

It can be good balance. Yeah, balance. Maybe you'll go rocks in your head. Siobhan says, ginger makes the sushi for me and wasabi is the icing on top. She's a both girl. Siobhan, Vaughn, we both go hard on the additional. Shiv and Vaughan. Yeah.

And I'll get a couple of those little fish with soy sauce in it, even though I know I'm not great for the environment. Would you ever date someone called Siobhan? Yep. You said that really quick. I've got one in mind. Yeah, I know who's one in mind. All right, what now?

Next. Emily says, yeah. Coupon mayo should have been on your list. That's what Emily said. I don't often go anywhere where mayo is an option if it's not already on there. Yeah, normally it's on the bougie ones, isn't it? Yeah.

On the bougie ones. Sussy. I did it. Cancel. You did it. She does it. Sexy. Got you. I did it. Canceled. You did it. She does it. Sexy. She does it so

and it cracks me up every time. That's the only one I'll say. I've got a few more I'm really into. Says there's ginger because it's yum. Wasabi because I'm too embarrassed

to say I'm a wuss and I can't handle it. What? So you will waste it. So she'll take the squirt because it's always served to you out What? So you will waste it? So she'll take the squirt because it's always served to you out of sort of a ketchup bottle. Yeah, yeah.

She'll take the squirt of wasabi and then not have it. Oh no. A little wasteful. Stephanie says, who the F likes ginger? Quite a few people apparently, Stephanie. Heaps.

Yeah, that's a good figure. Jetski, who's messaged into the show before, no name, no profile picture, just Jetski. Ginger and wasabi comes by default, but I always throw it away. Yeah, okay. So they get both, but they don't touch either.

Gobsmacked, says Maya, by the amount of people that said neither. Such boring sushi without ginger and wasabi. I mean, soy sauce goes without saying, right? Soy sauce is always. Husband loves the ginger. I love the wasabi. So we get both, and that way we get twice as much because we give it to the other person.

That's romance. Yeah. That's cute. That's romance. And Mason said, both, give me all the extras. It's a little extra treat for my tum-tum. True that. People really loving ginger.

A lot of very passionate ginger respondees. Okay. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I should get an extra piece of sushi for all the ginger and wasabi I've denied over the years and saving them so much money, says Brandon. Not quite how it works. Ha! That silly little pup.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. What would you say is the official start of old age? Like old age. Because remember... It's dependent on the... It's absolutely dependent on the it's absolutely dependent on the person you meet some people

in their 40s and you're like that's an old soul you meet some people in their 20s and you're like that's an old soul yeah yeah

well I mean I remember we talked about it that Gen Z thought that when you hit 50 you were elderly okay that's good why was that they asked was it NBA players that when you hit 50, you were elderly. Okay, that's good.

What was that they asked? Was it NBA players they asked? And if it was if the numbers that you were born in started in 19? That's right. Remember they asked all those like NBA, the like young rookies that are just like these amazing athletes. Yeah, just fresh out amazing athletes. Yeah. Just fresh out of college. And they're like, what is old?

And they're like, well, it's, I mean, if your birthday starts with a 19. If your birth year starts with a 19. That's wild, eh? Including like people born in the 90s. Are you kidding me? 75 they say. Or 74 they think is when you turn from like being older to like elderly. Right. And is that like, you know how they used to be like being older to like elderly. Right.

And is that like, you know how they used to be like 50, 40 is the new 50. No, 50 is the new 40. 60, 75 is the new 65. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Because we are, yeah, we're keeping younger. I look at my mom and she's 65 next year. Yeah.

Aaron's parents are 75 this year. I wouldn't call them elderly. Strange. Anyway, parents are 75 this year. I wouldn't call them elderly. Strange. Anyway, as you say, subjective. Anyway,

they broke down some, I guess, sort of, you know, traits that may indicate that you're heading towards becoming elderly. Okay.

And I'll share this list with you now. Okay. Music and cafes, you think it's too loud. That's Vaughn. Everywhere. That's Vaughn in his 20s.

Shops. What? Shops. Oh, my God. The worst. Like, pubs? Yeah. Where you want to talk?

Yeah. Bars. Bars. So, so far, you're elderly. Yeah. Okay. When you're, like, because they're just saying, like, you used to walk into a bar and be like, hell yeah, turn it up.

And now you're like, I cannot hear myself in this conversation. I don't think I ever and be like, hell yeah, turn it up. No. And now you're like, I cannot hear this conversation. I don't think I ever walked into a bar and said, turn it up. Yeah. You were a real arsehole. If you've ever walked into a bar and been like, I'm here, turn it up, you're an arsehole. Yeah, you're an arsehole. You rage against technology, like technology is getting further ahead

and you're getting left further behind. Not yet, but there have been a couple of incidences where I've had to turn to my children and be like, how do I do this? What's happening here? But I'm still the main tech problem solver. I'd say this is Aaron. Aaron's 42

and he's already raging against technology. Can't understand a thing. Travel anxiety in general, like, oh God, we've got to get to the airport early and who's doing that and what bus are we catching? You know, getting a bit, you know, not just, you can't go with the flow when you're travelling.

Yeah. Now, you're pretty, what's the word, anal retentive? Yeah. When it comes to travel. I'm organised when it comes to travel. That's another word. So are you, though. Yeah, I am, I am.

Whereas Vaughan is the absolute complete opposite of us. He's a cluster. And that's why on your last trip to Australia with your family, you left your passport in another town. You were late for flights. Yeah. You were in there. You're just an absolute mess.

We were never late for flights, but everybody lost something. Yeah. They also say that now, it's a sign you're getting elderly, is that you travel with medical supplies and a waterproof bag for your swimsuit. A waterproof bag for the swimsuit? What a great idea. Great idea. Like a dry bag.

Yeah, a dry bag. What a great idea. What a great idea. What a great idea. Because sometimes on the last night you're like, well, I want to go swimming but I don't want wet togs in my bag. I don't want wet in the bag.

That's a fantastic idea. That's when I steal a hotel towel. I roll them up in a hotel towel. Or, no, I steal a hotel, like, a bin liner. Or go to MacPak. Get a little wet pack. Yeah, I actually do have some of those for my kids. They're great.

Yeah, they're dry bags. Oh, fantastic. Also, totally, like, my dad, my father-in-law, everybody, like, in my parental gap. Why? He's having a stroke. I'm just really struggling to say. My father-in-law, my stepfather-in-law,

my mother-in-law, my mother and my father all have pill containers they take away now. I'm literally holding mine right now with my little pill container. A lot of vitamins, tons of vitamins and aspirin every day to thin the blood. Okay, here's some more. Noticing nature more.

Oh, wow. Look at that. My mame sends a sunset and you're like, you're never going to look at that again. My dad always sends it. Send this to Renee. Oh, okay. Renee Wright that does the weather.

And your mum sends a sunset and a sunrise. She sends a mountain. She sends a mountain. When there's snow, yeah, it's looking good. You feel inclined to make speeches at social gatherings. That's really funny. I love this. I love giving a speech.

You discuss your garden. Vaughan, you love discussing your garden. We're going to get a garden, so I'll turn that way. Cinema etiquette. What is this? You start noticing and minding it roughly the same time you started. Yeah, it'd be cinema. It'd be people putting their feet up.

It'd be people on their phones. It'd be people talking. It'd be people. So this is. It'd be people on their phones. It'd be people talking. It'd be people. So this is a list of signs you're getting elderly. Signs you're getting elderly. There's two more. Beds. Yeah.

They're getting bigger. You want more space, more support. Or separate. I'm all about a sleep in a single bed. Do. Because I can't sprawl. I sleep in a line. Whereas if it's a big bed, I get all twisted and I wake up with a sore back.

But if I ever sleep in the single bed, oh, good sleep. I think we've got a double bed, which is just lovely to sleep in. I slept in it last night because Aaron stayed up to clean the entire house. God. What a hero. What a hero. And so I went in the front room and it was lovely. But it's firm.

It's a firm bed. I love a firm bed. Yeah. Yeah, but they say, like, we want big beds, and we don't want to touch each other anymore. And the last one is being territorial over a specific knife. Now, at work, we've got- My green knife!

My fruit green knife! Yeah. We've got these sort of strange kitchens around the building, and the one nearest us has almost exclusively butter knives except there was this one sort of short, sharp sort of... It's a really good knife. Cutting knife. And I get really upset when it goes missing. Always been thinking about naming the knife

and keeping it just in the lockers here so that no one else... And then I found one and I put it in our locker so that only we can have it. They say, being territorial over a specific knife, where is it? Who had it last? Why is it lying around? When you were younger, you couldn't care about a knife. Who gives a crap now?

It's all about that knife. That last one made me laugh so much. There's some knives at ours that don't go in the dishwasher. Oh, yes, mate. This doesn't go in the dishwasher. I put them all in. You put them all in? You're a monster.

Yeah, I know. I've even... I put pots and pans in there. Okay. But I don't like my pots and pans. I bought bad pots and pans and they've turned on me and they've neglected. So I'm just like, well.

They've neglected or you put them in the dishwasher? No, I put them in the dishwasher because they turn to crap. Non-stick. What's that then? And they stick. They stick.

Even on chopping boards and wooden spoons, I've moved away from them going anywhere near a dish. See, again, sign you're becoming elderly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People have been posting on Reddit and there have been tweets as well.

Spotify is now adding monthly limits on lyrics for free accounts. So it's looking like a lot of people have been pushed behind a paywall. Oh, God. So unless you're paying a subscription, you're not going to get unlimited lyrics for songs. I like the lyrics feature. And producer Carmen was saying that's what the Swifties have been doing

with her new album, that you put it up on the big screen. Is that right, Carweenie and Shannon? Yeah. And the lyrics play to the new music, and she said, you learn it faster. Yeah, so Taylor's new album, obviously, she released 31 songs. That's a lot.

They all sound like one long one. They don't. Anyways, we don't need to get into that. Sounds like a long... Don't upset Carwyn. Carwyn gets so... You just don't get it. I listened to the first one, Carwyn,

and I was like, wow. And people were like, no, you've got to listen to the second one. And I listened to the second one, and I was like, I think I just listen to the first for a thing? You just don't get it. I listened to the first one, Carwen, and I was like, wow. And people were like, no, you've got to listen to the second one. And I listened to the second one. I was like, I think I just listened to the first one again. Yeah, to be fair, you're wrong because the second half is definitely slower. But also, I don't care. She's a billionaire either way, babe. No, but I was like.

There's no denying that because you're in a cult. Yeah, absolutely. I've got tattoos and everything. But I pop them up on the screen like logged into Spotify on my TV pop them on the screen and then you can read them as she sings

and you like know them a bit better I like that for when we have boozy nights at my house and we do kind of karaoke your neighbours do too I've talked to them

they love it they love when you put the lyrics on the screen they love that they literally love us it's only like one in the morning kind of territory

it's great stuff. But yeah, apparently Spotify did confirm to a website, TechCrunch, that over time between markets and devices, the Spotify features can vary, but they haven't made it a blanket thing. So it looks like they're kind of testing it, but this is where it's going. So if you like lyrics

you're probably going to need to upgrade also do they still do the ads in the middle yeah I was I did a gig at the classic which is New Zealand's sort of big comedy club in Auckland and the pre-show music

they were playing Spotify with ads I was like Scott what is this ad And the pre-show music, they were playing Spotify with ads. So the audience was, I was like, Scott, who owns it? I was like, what is this ad? Because it wasn't paid for pre-ed. In the middle of the audience coming in, it was like, upgrade. Yeah, it was quite embarrassing. You know.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Not the ads. Do you want some ads? You got some? No, don't say that. You got some for us? We've got some. Yeah, but the ads. Do you want some ads? You got some? No, don't say that. You got some for us?

We've got some. Yeah, but don't. Then I'll pay a penny to listen to this. They're getting some high-end entertainment. Yeah, and that's why. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. It's the final rankings.

We do this every Friday. Final rankings. Debate. Sometimes heated argument. Yeah. We do this every Friday, final rankings, debate, sometimes heated argument over our favourite things. The argument's already started with this dum-dum next to us. He's just mentioning shows. It's talk show hosts. He's talking on that show. Talk show hosts.

Current or any time? Any time. All time. Any time. I would go Stephen Colbier from The Late Show. You're a? Anytime. All time. Anytime. I mean, I would go Stephen Colbert from The Late Show. You're a big Colbert fan. I watch a lot of him. Colbert from The Daily Report. Oh, yeah.

The Colbert Report, rather. Oh, yeah, that's tough. But then you've got Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart's back on The Daily Show now. Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. There's simply... But then you've also got... Oh, that's...

I'd go... Like, Conan O'Brien's got to be up there for all time. But then Letterman as well is, like, legendary. But then you've got your, oh, that's. I go, like, Conan O'Brien's got to be up there for all time. But then Letterman as well is, like, legendary. But then you've got your other shows, like Oprah. Oh, Hayley screwed up her face. You know, yeah. Well, he was a bit of a pest, wasn't he? He pestered at times.

Sort of kissing guests' necks and whatnot. Yeah. But I'm going, I want to, I'm like, I'm the trash. I'm Jerry Springer. Rachel Ray? Oprah, no, Rachel Ray. You're not a Rachel Ray fan? Too many carbs.

Yeah, yeah. Wow, man, that food really was a lot. But yeah, I used to watch Ricky Lake. Yeah. And Sally Jessie Raphael. I mean, that's going back. Jerry Springer's got to be number one, man. That was straight trash.

And Jeremy Kyle, the British version? Yeah. I used to love that. But the only thing was, I. That was straight trash. And Jeremy Kyle, the British version? Yeah. I used to love that. But the only thing was I feel like Jeremy Spring... Jeremy? Jerry Springer really leaned into the fact

that it was all BS. Oh, yeah. And it was like a play. It was like watching a live play. Because didn't they make a live show out of it? Oh, they must have. Yeah, they did.

They made a stage show. Yeah, they made a stage show. I mean, it was literally a stage show. Yeah, it was just... They were all actors. And you can see now because it's been so long. He literally died They did. Yeah, they made a stage show. I mean, it was literally a stage show. Yeah, they were all actors. And you can see now, because it's been so long. He literally died last year.

Yeah. You can see now, like, actors coming out and being like, yeah, I worked on the show. Like, I'd come in and they'd be like, get crazy. I just loved it. It's like wrestling. It is like, it's exactly what it was like. That's the vibe.

So I would go, for me, I would go Jerry Springer. Jerry, Jerry. Yeah. Then, I don't know. I'm not that true anymore. I was going to say, what about like Kelly Clarkson's shows? She's great. Amazing.

She's got a great show and she sings on it, which is like a little treat because you're like, she's so good. Embarrassing no one's mentioned Ellen. Ellen was, I used to like watching Ellen. It wasn't targeted at us no no I don't feel like

none of us are really ticking that like demo house mom crazy Christmas demo yeah yeah

it goes overboard at Christmas time you've got to say Oprah I'd go Oprah number two because she see I don't think of her as a talk show host anymore though it's been so long

since she did it yeah I know but she's still I don't know I her as a talk show host anymore though it's been so long since she did it. Yeah I know but she's still I don't know I like it now she does the interviews. I'm going Jerry I'm going old school.

Jerry number one Oprah number two I'll go Colby at number three. Okay. That's me. I'll go Colby at number one Jerry Springer number two

Yes. And maybe Rachel Ray because of the cooking. Yeah, you love the cooking and the cleaning hacks. Yeah, yeah. I love a cleaning hack. Conan O'Brien number one. Yep. I'd go Jon Stewart number two.

And I'd probably go Jimmy Kimmel. I love Kimmel. Number three, Jimmy Kimmel's been doing it for like, I think he's done it longer than anybody now. Even some of the old boys. Yeah. He's now got a longer run than they had. Yeah, he's funny as. Yeah, so that's my top three.

So will we say, wait. Jerry Springer's number one. Jerry Springer's going to be number one. Where's Jerry on yours? Why is he not? Where is he on yours? Springer and Colby. Springer and Colby. Springer and Colby. What a team. It couldn't be any different.

What a team. Polls apart. Absolutely, polls apart. Guys, I just watched such a funny video. It's horrific, but it's quite funny as well. So there were, where is this? I got so caught up with watching this. It was in America.

They're at a zoo and it's like the brown bears. Woodland Park Zoo. Okay. That's so generic. The brown bear enclosure and it's huge. There's all this forest and stuff and wood and rocks and this brown bears there, and then we're behind the glass and all these kids are there like, wow, look.

Next minute, bears. This duck family flies in, a mother and her five ducklings, to this little pond area in the enclosure. Then the bear's like, and like looks and is like circling the edge of the pond. The bear jumps into the water and all these kids are like, no, no. He's like banging on the window to try to deter it. They're trapping.

You know when you try to whack a fly, a big fat blowfly, and you're trying to whack it against the window. That's what he's doing with the ducklings just like stop do you think like it's so like it's in the middle and he dives in

and he straight up in front of all these kids starts eating the mother of a duck and they're like he eats the mum no bear

no next minute he's pushing he is he's like pushing them against the glass and like mauling all the ducklings. He still eats them all.

It's truly so harrowing. That is the animal kingdom. That's survival of the fittest. And then the ducks that survive know not to go near bears, so ducks evolve into a creature. They've learned their lesson. They've learned their lesson. Yeah, the ones that survive carry the knowledge

of those they saw pass. It's like when you see nature documentaries and stuff and they always we watch the behind the scenes of Attenborough things and they always say they always want to interrupt. But it's nature. But you can't. They'll see

a deer running for its life or something and they're like, oh my god, you just want to help it. But you're like, you can't, man. What was that one with all the sea lions when they all just bloody jumped off? Yeah, they climbed up that thing and they fell off a... That was heartbreaking. Don't go up there.

Stop, stop, stop. I know, and they were like crying. It's awful. I remember being at a zoo. I remember being at Auckland Zoo with my best friend and her grandma when I would have been eight years old, nine years old. Yeah.

And we were getting a photo. I've got the photo. We're like, eee, like this. And hearing this like, oomph, oomph. And me being like, what the hell is that? Turning around, it was two massive tortoises. Yeah. Humping.

Yeah. And the air coming out of the shells was the big oomph. It was the weirdest. Slow. They make a weird... Slow. They make a really weird noise. They make love. They don't hum. They're not like... No, no.

Because they're like... Slow. Yeah, really tender. And there's this big, like, air release. Yeah, the compressing of the shells and stuff. It was a lot. It's, you know, basically like the tortoise and the hare. Yeah.

The story of, you know, the aged old, the tortoise just stuck at it and ended up winning the race. Yeah. But whereas the hare, and much like making love, the tortoise just stuck at it and ended up winning the race. But whereas the hare, and much like making love, the tortoise takes it slow, wins the race, pleasures his lady and the rabbit's just like

Anyway, we wanted to know what is the craziest thing you've seen an animal do? Like it could be in a zoo. The best is when at a zoo where you just expect the animals to walk around and parade themselves. They actually behave like animals

and people are shocked. Oh, yeah. He's ramming me. You're like, yeah, yeah. He's a rhinoceros. You're in his space. Get out of there. But maybe, you know,

like it could be at a zoo or like you've been on a safari or something and you've seen like giraffes fighting or something. Or maybe you like live on a farm or even your pets doing something weird because they are just animals. You're travelling overseas, you're in the jungle, you see something crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I, not the jungle, but in the inner city, saw a seagull eating a dead pigeon. I've seen a seagull eat a dead pigeon. I was like, what? I didn't know you I thought you ate light chips. What's happening here? No, they don't make their own fries. They're scavengers. It was horrific.

Yeah, I've seen a massive seagull eat a dead pigeon, and it was like, I was at a bar. I was just trying to drink. I was just trying to have a nice glass of wine, and they were like, like getting into it. I've seen a chicken eat one of its fallen comrades. What? No.

See, this is what we want to know. Give us a call. Is this grim? I think this might end up being grim. I don't think all the stories are going to be grim, but let's see. 0800 DARS at M. Give us a call now.

Text through 9696. Oh my goodness me. The text's coming in already. What is the craziest thing you've seen animals do? Oh, wow. Okay. We want to know the wildest thing that you've seen animals do. Because...

There are so many text messages, so many harrowing tales of animals murdering other animals in front of children. This happened because at a zoo in America, a bear ate a whole family of ducks in front of everybody and everyone was like, ah! Yeah. And then you're just like, yeah, man,

but you're watching them. That's the abnormal bit. That's the animal kingdom right there. Let's go to Colleen. Colleen, good morning. Good morning. We're a first-time caller, long-time listener. Oh, I'm used to that.

Let's go, Colleen. Let's go, Colleen. Yay. Welcome, Colleen. Now, what's the craziest thing you've seen animals do? I'm actually a safari guide from Zambia, so I have stories all day. Oh my god, Colleen!

Are safaris as good as everybody makes them look on Instagram? Better. Is Zambia the place to do them? Yes, South Luangwa National Park is phenomenal. Is that the Big Five? Is that where you get to see the Big Five? Yes, you can see the Big Five, but the Rhino,

but you can go north to Angora and see them. Okay, okay. I've never seen that Rhino. So being an ex-safari guide, what is the craziest thing you've seen? There's been quite a few, but to give you a back story, I was also teaching. I built a school where I was also guiding and managing a lodge. Oh, wow.

I used to teach a lot of the local children, and there was some what? The guards did? and the guards chased them, and they ran into the river to escape, and they got taken out by some crocodiles. Sorry, what? The guards did? No, the robbers. The robbers, yeah, the thieves. Wait, you had me taken out. When you said the thieves, I was imagining, like, the monkeys. So did I.

I was imagining they were monkeys. That's what you call thieves. You call them, what was the word you used? Kabulalas. Kabulalas. So that's the word for thief in Kabulalas. Kabulalas. So that's what the word for thief in Zambia. Oh my god. So the thief's just like

ah, into the river, we will hide. Snap, snap, snap. Wait, so they got eaten by crocodiles. They got eaten by crocodiles but the story is the next morning I took my class, my little group of kids, I had nine kids and we went fishing along the main, the river, Luangwa,

which is probably the most highly populated river in Africa for crocodiles and hippos. And so I used to take them fishing, but I'd have a rifle with me and we'd be fishing on the river. Colleen, this is wild. Colleen's got that rifle on because she wants a pair of alligator skin boots. That's all she says. I'd love a belt.

And, yeah, I had one of the little girls keep going into my cupboard and stealing my stickers. I'm pretty sure we've seen their fishing and a croc must have passed with a human leg in its mouth. Oh, my God. Colleen! God! A human leg. Imagine mouth. Oh, my God. Colleen! God! A human leg? Imagine seeing that as a kid! And was it one of the robbers?

Yes, it was. And the little girl that had been stealing looked at me and said, I'm not going to ever steal again because that's what happens. You get eaten by crocodiles. I know we've already done a Caller of the Week, but we need a second one. We're going to do another Caller of the Week. We're Caller of we've already done a Caller of the Week, but we need a second one.

We're going to do another Caller of the Week. We're Caller of the Week. True Caller of the Week. Colleen, congratulations on a $50 McCafe voucher for you. Thanks to our friends at McCafe. Oh, that's amazing. You're amazing. What a story, Colleen.

We should touch base with Colleen again in the future. New Zealand must be so boring for you. Especially rivers. You look at them and you're like, what, Koi Carp? Invasive Koi Carp? How embarrassing. It is a

lot of pain this year. I must admit I'm looking forward without any wildlife but it's still a beautiful place to live. Yeah, Colleen, amazing. We'll keep your texts coming in. 9696. We have so many messages to those next. The craziest. We might have to do a spillover. I think we might do a muffin top

pod. A spillover podcast I think we might have to do a muffin top pod. A spillover podcast. Holy moly, there's so many. The wildest things that you've seen an animal do. Now, there will be a spillover podcast yesterday. Absolutely going to be a spillover podcast of the craziest things you've seen an animal do.

So many great stories. Yeah. A human leg in a crocodile mouth is pretty insane. There's some really, really great stories of a very graphic nature that I will tease here on the show and say they'll be on the podcast. Yeah, because it's a bit much, isn't it?

And that's coming from us. Yeah. Is that the spoodle humping the coony coony? Yesterday I caught my 10-year-old spoodle humping our 300-kilogram coony coony pig from behind. The pig couldn't get away. That's bad. A little humper there. A lot of animals.

A lot of monkeys playing with themselves. A lot of masturbatory primates. Where the golden Labrador hated hedgehogs, would pick them up and throw them in a trough to drown them. Now I know we're a split house on hedgehogs, but they are a pest. They are an invasive species. No, they're not.

They're little sweetie booties. They smile. They literally smile. They're like, ow. That's fine, but not in the wild. Okay. And I'll alter. They eat the eggs.

They eat the eggs of the birds. Yeah, but they're hungry. They're growing boys. I saw a cow running down a hill full speed, and at the bottom of the hill, there was another cow. I was like, that cow's going to crash into that cow. The cow jumped the grown boys. I saw a cow running down a hill full speed, and at the bottom of the hill there was another cow. I was like, that cow's going to crash into that cow. The cow jumped the other cow. What do they do?

Like high jump? The cow jumped. The other day, my cows, when I was putting them back off the grass, back into their yard, she got all crazy excited. Hermione tried to do one of those bucks, you know, cows, like, but at the same time she jumped and you saw the look in her eye where she was off the ground and she's like four legs off the ground? Am I

about to die? And then she landed and she literally stopped and looked at me like did you see that? I was like you stupid cow. Calm down I love this one. I know you said you were going to pull back from the ones that are a bit much. I was on Courtney Place walking to get my lunch and saw a seagull eating the intestines out of a dead pigeon-like spaghetti. It was horrific.

Like sucking out the string of it. Yes, delicious. I saw a cat using a pedestrian crossing across the road. That was quite impressive. Oh, that's cute. What about the one about the guinea pig? They never looked the same. Oh, yeah, that's way down.

When I was a kid, one day I saw my guinea pig eat its own poos. Lost a lot of respect about the guinea pig? They never looked the same. Oh, yeah. That's way down. When I was a kid, one day I saw my guinea pig eat its own poos. Lost a lot of respect for the guinea pig that day. Yeah, a lot of respect. Somebody said, craziest thing I've ever seen, ever, and it involves an animal, was a duck was flying over and my dad, with his fingers, went, and pretended to shot the duck fell out the sky.

Shut up. No. Oh, Dad's a wizard. Dad's a wizard. No, someone was obviously shooting the duck and dad was like. No, you'd hear it. But you would hear the bang, right? Wouldn't you hear it?

If that line up purely was that the duck was flying, he's like, I'm not feeling well. Heart attack. And he goes down just as someone's dad goes. Imagine that. Or the more believable, Dad's a Wizard. We've got so many more of these. Dad's a Wizard is the only believable option there. Special podcast.

You can find those podcasts wherever you listen to podcasts. And I'll throw to producer Shannon, who went to the dentist yesterday, which is good for you. Thank you. Routine? No, the chipped tooth. Oh, my God, of course. No longer chips.

She chipped it on butter. Chocolate. Is that ACC? I health insuranced it. Oh, okay. Claiming back. Oh, right. Yeah, right.

Right. Are you on mum and dad's health insurance? I pay, but I'm under the plan. Yeah, of course. How do you get the, isn't the dental one the most expensive one? Yeah, premium. I can only claim 80%, but I'm claiming that 80

because it was 500 bucks. Yeah, okay. Yeah. But no, I went to the dentist for my chipped tooth and start getting, you know, the chip fixed. I don't know the procedure that happened,

but I did it. And as I've got my mouth wide open all like cottoned up and stuff yeah oh they hide

the thing up there to wet his face yeah I was like and my mouth's all numb I had an injection and stuff oh yep

and I notice the door open and a receptionist walks in and starts whispering to the to someone emergency

yeah well I start panicking yeah the assistant goes hi um our receptionist would just like to know who's better fletcher vaughn why do they ask any questions once the things are in the mouth that's's impossible at all. I don't know. My dentist always asks questions. That was born. Yeah. That was flecked. Yeah, there you go. I get that as well. Your mouth's full of stuff and they just started talking to you about things.

Oh yeah, because did you see that? And you're like, uh-huh. And you try to answer and you choke on your own spitty that's gathering up on the one side of the mouth that doesn't have the suction. The whole time you're like, is that TV going to fall on my head as well? Yeah.

Yeah, and because I, no offence, I don't bring you guys up in any situation. What did I do all the time? Well, I just was trying to get my tooth fixed, but I guess there's not many Shannons in East Auckland who chip their tooth on a piece of chocolate. So I think the receptionist figured it out. I don't know. What was your answer?

I had cotton in my mouth. I didn't say anything. What was the answer in your heart? Well. Wow. But at what? Do you know, Aaron asks a similar question. Because Aaron's always so curious about the radio show.

It would be like almost all of his curiosities would be answered if he listened, you know? What did you talk about? He's our white whale. When we get him, you know, that's it. We've really clocked it. Yeah, we clock it. But he always asks, like, what was funny today?

Or did you have a good show? Like, what did you talk about? Or any funny moments? And he still won't listen. He just won't listen. And sometimes I'll tell him. And then yesterday he goes, who was the worst? Like today, who was the worst today? Yeah then yesterday he goes, who was the worst? Like today,

who was the worst today? Yeah, he was like, who was the worst? Who was the worst yesterday? I said me because I was so tired after seven days.

Oh yeah, okay. And I said, I literally did say Fletcher and Vaughan were on fire yesterday. I said it was a great show, show of the week,

I reckon. Today's going well, but. It's no Thursday. You should have been here yesterday. It's no Thursday. No Thursday. Pop, bam, zing.

It was really popping. So you really didn't give her an answer? No, I couldn't. My mouth was all open, but... What about on the way out? Surely she asked you when you were... When you just left being like... So I recognised her, but she was on the phone as I was leaving.

I paid with a different receptionist. So I didn't get to speak to her. But yeah, I don't know what she wanted. Like better people, better announcers, better yeah, I don't know what she wanted. Like better people, better announcers, better friends. I don't know what she wanted. There's a list to start on. Better person. Oh no. No. You have fallen into an unexpected

trap here. Subscribe to my Patreon and I'll be spilling all the tea. She's making money. Holy moly. She's a smart businesswoman. I've got to pay off this $400. She's making money. Holy moly. She's a smart business woman here. I've got to pay off this $400. She's doing her own

private final rankings. Fletch, Vaughn. I'm just amazed that you even have a healthy... Also, thanks for not even mentioning me. Yeah, I don't know why. Oh, yeah.

Maybe she meant who's the best bald man on the show. Oh, yeah. I'm pretty bald for a chick. I'm saying. Half this hair is fake And you've had the laser

And I've had the laser So anything else Next Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Some changes coming to the world of dating apps Which you have never used You and Vaughan both have been in relationships

since dating apps existed. Yeah, I know. Which is why you love to get on friends with dating apps and have a go. And have a little tutu. So Bumble is changing its defining dating feature. So Bumble was always women-led. Yeah.

Female first was their twist on Tinder, I guess, at the time, giving women the power to control conversation by leading. Now it is offering a feature which will give its male users a bit of a nudge to start the message. It's called opening moves. So women can now send prompts for male users to answer and then the men start the conversation basically. Right. Yeah. So they're just going like, oh yeah, it's not

it's, you know, it's getting harder and harder for people to meet people so we need to make it a bit easier. So is there still the option if you're a female for you to make the first move if you want to? Yes, I think there is. So you have to opt in to opening moves. You've got to opt in to opening moves.

And then I was like, interesting. Non-binary users will have their app function stay exactly the same where either person is able to message. Right. And on Tinder, they have just released a share my date. I don't know if this is in New Zealand. It's a share my date feature currently being rolled out across Australia and then globally. Now, this will allow users a share my date feature currently being rolled out across Australia and then globally.

Now, this will allow users to share their date plans directly with friends up to 30 days in advance. And so they've got some screenshots. You click share date and then you fill out like a who and then you can attach their Tinder profile. So then also your friends are going to judge if they think the guy or girl is hot enough for you Yeah But then you can also not You can choose not to include their Tinder profile But then you put where, the time

Is that a safety thing? Any notes, yeah More than a judgement thing? I'm going to meet this guy, Jamie, at a cafe Here's where and when we're meeting Send, and you can attach a profile if you want But then would you If your friend sent you a Tinder date Where and where, would you go and when we're meeting, send and you can attach a profile if you want. But then would you, if your friend sent you a Tinder date

where and where, would you go and have a nosey? I'd go and go and look. I'd be like, that is crazy because actually Fletchford and Hayley were going to be at the cafe next door. That's so nice. At the same cafe at the same time. Oh my god, we might bump into you. Yeah. 100%. Also, if my friends did that, I'd be like, attach profile. Attach profile right now.

Yeah, I want to see who this guy is. But then would you send, if your friend was also single and the guy was hot, would you want to share the hot guy with your friend? If they were single. If they were single? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then they could see his profile. Because they're looking for a partner, are they?

Yeah. Interesting. So am I. Oh, rat bag. What a rat bag move. Have you ever dated the same person as someone that you know before? No. I once set up one guy.

That was that shake that you just said. I was trying to think. I was trying to think. I don't think so. I didn't believe Fletch at all, by the way. I don't believe it at all. I know this guy. I can read him like a book.

Look at how he's hiding his mouth behind his T-shirt. No, I don't think I have. I don't think I have. No, say it again. Have you ever dated the same person as one of your friends before? Definite, defined dating? Shagged. Hooked up with.

Hooked up. Went on a couple of dates. I mean, probably yes. There you go. That changed it. Well, the definition was confusing, wasn't it? When I understood the definition. When I was in Wellington, the first time I ever started going to the gym, I had a PT.

Yeah. And I thought he was a real fun guy. And I set him up with four of my friends and they went on one-off dates. And I was like, God, this guy's blowing it. Like, this is terrible. Four of them. And then they all got together like, that guy sucked. I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

And I got, they all dated the same person for a bit and it was my fault. Oh. Yeah, I know, I felt terrible. What was wrong with him then, did they ever say? I think he was a bit of a loser apparently. What do you mean? I don't know, I just, all I interacted with him was about fitness and hanging out at the gym.

You're telling me a PT didn't have a lot going on apart from the endless amounts of personal training they do. Yeah, I think he was a loser. You're telling me the person with the smoking hot bod might have had not much else happening. Yeah, I think there was something about he took one of them to have fish and chips on the beach and then...

Didn't eat any chips? No. He was like, oh, even this. I think he went to the fish and chips And ordered his own fish and chips And paid for his own fish and chips And then Didn't get her fish and chips Didn't get her fish and chips

And she was like Oh I thought you would like Order a scoop We could share They had to get two individual scoops Terrible She would have had to have said As he went into the fish and chip shop

Spot me bro Cause you gotta speak their language Yeah spot me bro Spot me bro And he would have been like That's gonna cost you Yeah yeah yeah I'm carb loading bro spot me yeah yeah yeah that would have worked play zms fletch vaughn and hayley fact of the day day day day day Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Well, today's fact of the day about public transport. Trying to find the weird stories of public transport.

We go to Wisconsin. Oh, okay. Okay, why did everybody get a bit careful? Oh, we love Wisconsin. Why did you guys get so jazzed about Wisconsin? Is it about a boat? It is about a boat. Okay. Do you know the Ice Angel of Wisconsin?

No. Ice Angels in Wisconsin are a boat slash hovercraft. But it's not a hovercraft in a traditional manner of a hovercraft. It's a flat-bottomed boat that when the lakes aren't icy. Don't they make the rock and world go around? Flat-bottomed boat. No, that's flat-bottomed girls. No, it's fat-bottomed girls. Fat-bottomed girls.

Flat-bottomed girls don't do anything, you know. They can get through tiny... They are trying. They can get through little gaps. Not if they've got a set of boobies on them. It's real. It's a hard world out there. You've got to get the ratios just right.

I've lost my mind. You just suck on your peanut butter pouch, hon, and we'll take care of this. Need some oils. Essential oils. Not those oils, essential oils. Not those sort of essential oils. In the early 2000s they were introduced, the Ice Angels. They come in public transport so

there's like a ferry version of them. You've been on a swamp boat. Yeah. Massive fan on the back. That was so much fun. Massive fan on the back and a flat bottom so it doesn't have anything below the water so that they can just scoot right across all the plants.

If it's shallow enough, that can just skiddly-daddly do. It's basically a flat-bottomed boat with a massive fan on the back so that when the... Be like, I love your work! It keeps me going! My ego drives us all!

Keep going, big fan! Or an actual fan. My ego drives us all. Keep going, big fan. You're an actual fan. Oh, yeah, right. Huge, huge fan on the back. Now, when the lake is water, when the lake is not frozen ice, it just scoots across the top. Okay. When it's frozen, it just scoots across the top.

Oh, my God, amazing. It's a massive fan-propelled boat on an ice lake. Wow. And they use them. There's emergency service ice angels and there is also like public transport like ferries. Wow. That are known as the Wisconsin

Ice Angels. And they were first introduced in the early 2000s by a congressman who conceptualised them being after seeing the flat bottomed swamp boats. It was like, why don't we do this? Like, we've got all these lakes and stuff that they're getting around them rather than just going through them when it's frozen over and it's chaotic.

I want to go on a hovercraft so bad. We nearly got to go on the hovercrafts at the airport. Remember that? Yeah. But it was too windy. So there's a big, at the Auckland airport, there's the plane body. Is the plane body still there? Yeah, the wings have been taken off.

Yeah, it's just the fuselage of the plane where they practice what it's like to be in a plane if there's an emergency. And over there, there's a big yellow hovercraft. Now, the big yellow hovercraft is for, and it won't happen if you're scared of flying and you're just about to go on a flight. It's not going to happen. But if a piece falls off the plane into the harbour, they can scoot out and get it. Or a plane. I don't even know if it's ever really been used. Yeah, I don't know.

But it's there. I think they've got a couple. I think they've got a couple. Yeah. Yeah. Fun. Hovercraft's a neat. Cool.

Swamp boats are neat. And now you can add ice angels to cool forms of public transport because they are boats with massive fans on the back that when the ice is melted, it'll just scoot across the lake. And when the ice is formed, it'll just scoot across the lake, and when the ice is formed, it'll just scoot across the lake. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. We are talking about your sugar peeps That's a terrible way of describing it Your sugar partners

Because there is an OnlyFans model in Australia Her name's Shana Okay Shana Shana Beckham She's 27 years old. She used to earn $800 a week as a dental hygienist and she met her partner

Ricky who was working full time as a concreter. He's a tradie. Okay. So he was earning more than her. Tradies can earn a good buck. Yeah. Especially, who were we saying? Plumbers. Sparkies. One of those. They work hard though

Yeah if they do Do a good job Hell yeah Yeah When they show up Anyway I don't Not all sparkies

Sure I've got the origins Of the term sugar daddy Do you want to hear it I've always wanted to We say it all the time I've never known it Yeah

It has been used Since the beginning Of the 19th century When Adolf Not that one Okay A different one Adolf Sprickles

Which was Imagine if Adolf Hitler Was Adolf, not that one. Okay. A different one. Adolf Spreckles, which was... Imagine if Adolf Hitler was Adolf Spreckles. The only thing that can stop Adolf Hitler is Adolf Spreckles. Adolf Spreckles, heir to the Spreckles sugar fortune, married a woman who was 24 years younger than him and called him sugar daddy. Because he was a sugar... He was a heir to the sugar fortune.

Oh, why? And then so that's why now we call it Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby. A rich older man. Okay. So Shana then, so her partner was earning more than her. She was a dental hygienist. Then she learnt of the world of OnlyFans. More really this week, I'm going to put some time into mine. Yeah, I know. Man, I'm subscribing, subscribing. You're going to put some time into mine Yeah I know

You're Man I'm subscribing Subscribing You're giving me nothing I know Keep them guessing Keep them wanting You keep leaving your clothes on though

Because we've both subscribed To help you out And I do thank you both I'm like I see that hoodie all morning Why am I Why am I paying to see it now We want to see what's under the hoodie

You want to see what's under the hood Yeah And we are paying $9.99 a month $9.99 a month bro We are paying $9.99 a month. $9.99 a month, bro. We're paying $9.99 a month for the same AS colour hoodie and t-shirt. Yeah, pay up. No, I've told you, on a higher tier, you get to see my titties. Yeah, but your higher tier is $37.99 a month for nipples that I can see

any time you take your bloody hoodie off. And it drags up the t-shirt. And I get a flash. Yeah, well, that's... I'm not paying extra. I'm giving you a little tease, a little taste, so you subscribe. Anyway, now, Shana joined OnlyFans.

And she makes serious money. Everyone now wants to know what Shana looks like. So how do you spell her last name? Beckham. Shana Beckham. And she's hot. Six figures a month she makes. So that's...

That is insane. Between 100,000 and 900,000 a month. Okay, if you're not near a computer or can't remember the name, just imagine Australian, like a typical Australian.

Blonde, tanned, blue eyes, hair extensions. White teeth. Really beautiful. Yeah. Not super like fake. Massive boobs.

Long skinny legs. Exactly, you know. We can't all just jump on there. Well, the concrete is not too bad either if you're into a man, a manly man. Yeah. Pay extra, I'll show you my fupa, you know. Anyway.

What? Don't worry. What? Let's not get into it. She now refers to herself as the sugar mummy for her partner who has gone down to like two days a week work because he doesn't need. They travel the world. I don't need the boys at work to give me a bloody arse

all of the time when he's at that work. No, because they'll be like, we're paying for it. You wouldn't care, right, if the roles were reversed? Because some people have a thing. They've got to be the provider and got to earn more money. It's like that's such an old fashioned. I absolutely would happily not provide. Yes, love it.

I would happily be a stay-at-home. Well, we want to know if you, excuse me, if you have a sugar partner, a sugar daddy, a sugar mama, or your partner just earns so much more that you're able to be a well-kept person. They pay for your holidays. They pay for your extras. There's no judgment because as you say, like, man,

we'd all just be like, yeah. I would do it in a second. If Aaron chucked his you know, butt and his long legs on OnlyFans and started making tons of money, you would not be listening to this voice right now. I'd be in bed. I think Greg Grover from Nova would probably not like him on OnlyFans

would they? Probably sully the brand. He might lose the contract. He might sully the brand for Nova. Please Nova. He is not on OnlyFans. He has no desire. He might lose the contract. He might sully the brand for Nova. Please Nova, he is not on OnlyFans. He doesn't even know, he calls it only, what did he call it? Fans only or something. He's a sweetie. He doesn't use the internet as much does he?

As I say, I'd like to see him try. Okay, so we want to know about your sugar partner. Your sugar setup. Maybe you have a classic sugar daddy. You're a young person and you've got an older man who just pays for all your stuff. Whatever. Or you're just in a relationship with someone who earns significantly

enough that you get taken care of. Maybe there have been some issues with the dynamic in the relationship. Or maybe there's none at all. 0800 dials at him. We'd love to take your calls now. You can text through anonymously. 9696. Do you have a sugar partner?

We want to know if you're in a sugar setup. Like, you've got someone who earns enough money that they're taking care of you. Little sugar mama, sugar daddy, sugar wife. Because an Australian OnlyFans had the ability to basically take her tradie boyfriend out of his work and

look after him. He even does a bit of admin for her. Yeah, and she said she loves spoiling. The tax accounts and stuff. Oh my god, yeah. Hey babe, I'm going to go take some lingerie shots. How's the GST coming? Alright, let's take some calls. Chris, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Do you have a

sugar partner? Yeah, I've got a lawyer as a partner. Oh, okay, and so they're earning enough money that you can just, what,

just chill? Well, we've got two kids as well. Oh yeah? So you're not, that's the other thing, you're not chilling if you're the stay-at-home parent.

That's not a sugar situation. You've got to keep it home, which is a job. Do you work, Chris? Yeah. I was a truck driver, but I had to do 65 hours to get what she gets for 35 hours. which is a job. Do you work, Chris? Yeah. I was a truck driver. Yeah. But I had to do 65 hours to get what she gets for 35 hours.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. Why would you? Yeah, why would you? So you're a stay-at-home daddy while she, he, they? She. She goes to work and earns the big bucks. Yeah.

Yeah. And how's that set up for you? Do you like it? Well, I get to do whatever I want to do. Yes! Because some men wouldn't like that, would they? They'd be like, oh, I can't handle this. Yeah.

Yep. There would be a lot out there. I feel like it's hot, Chris. If your hot mama is going off to work every day and earning the big bucks, come home and you don't have to drive a truck for 65 hours a week? Hell yeah. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. Can you reverse onto the inter-islander, Chris? You bet he can. Yes, we can. Yeah, I knew he could. See, that's hot. He had big reverse onto the inter-islander energy. Yeah, of course he does.

I could tell. Even though he's not driving trucks anymore, he still keeps the hotness. He still could. Chris, thank you. Rachel, you have a sugar husband, I believe. Yes. Yes, I do. Okay. Rachel, you have a sugar husband, I believe. Yes.

Yes, I do. Okay. And so what's the situation there? Well, I guess it's similar to Chris who just called through. We've got two children, six and seven, so they're at school now. And I still just stay at home and look after the house, and I'm looked after. Hell, yeah. My mum did the same eventually, I think, when my dad started earning enough.

It was just like, I'll looked after. Hell yeah. My mum did the same eventually I think when my dad started earning enough. Was just like, I'll just make a nice life. Yeah, it's just that I have, I worked last year but it's just the difficulties of like managing children in school and sickness and all of that.

Oh, do it. That's, yeah. Both parents are working and kids are sick the whole time. My kids just went back to school and they were already sick. Yeah, my kids sniffling

this morning. Yeah, but sniffling. Do they not do what they did in the 90s? Just send you to school sick they were already sick. Yeah, my kid's sniffling this morning. Yeah, but sniffling. Do they not do what they did in the 90s? Just send you to school sick. Go to school. Yeah. Rachel, I wanted to ask Rachel what she's got on the schedule for today. The kids are at school, her hubby's at work.

What's on the plan? Well, I'm going to do some gardening. I like gardening. Oh, nice. Our own food. A bit of a nana, really, I guess. And my sister's just had a baby, so I'm going to do some cooking for her. Oh, what a girl. I loveana, really, I guess. And my sister's just had a baby, so I'm going to do some cooking for her. Oh, look at that.

Love that. Rachel, thank you. Keep your messages, your texts coming in. We'll get to more of those next. Tell you what, we're hearing from some people in sugar relationships. Yeah. Or the term, we're always like, you've got a sugar daddy, a sugar mama. Apparently, glucose guardian is the great gender neutral term.

Glucose guardian! Great term gender neutral term. Glucose Guardian! Great term. Some great listener messages in today. Some very funny listeners. International Comedy Fest kicking off, so maybe next year they could put on a show. Some messages in. A lot of people just saying they don't have one, but they would like one. Someone said I don't have one. It's currently, if anyone's

looking to take on a single mother of three children, I am available with or without children Yeah She's gonna ditch the kids There are days like that There are days like that There are days like that There's quite a few people actually

This is not the The sort of hook up line That we're setting up here We don't have a sort of Pool of rich people Waiting to take care of you I'm a tradie That still works 40 hours a week

But my girlfriend is a CFO. Now what does that stand for? A Chief Financial Officer. For a large private company, and she earns over half a million dollars a year. I never ever work overtime, and I always just take unpaid leave if I've used up all my

annual leave. Always buy my lunch as well. And fly first class when we go on holidays. Nice. Now, Emma, you have a sugar son. Yes, I have a son. He's 29 and I was

a solo mom in Christchurch and Auckland and I've got three children, paid all education, everything. And soon as he hits big numbers at his work, he works in finances as you know stock exchange trade he said to me you're not working five days a week mom anymore and i picked three days a week and he when i take when he takes annual leave i take unpaid leave and he takes me traveling with siblings as well. That is so cute.

And now I have a younger son who is 21 and he just finished uni and he hired a cleaner that I don't have to clean the house. Therefore it pays once they grow up and they look after you. That's amazing.

My parents, they're overseas, it's fine. I was going to say, I've never wanted kids. I don't want my parents, oh, they're overseas, it's fine. I was going to say, you know, I've never wanted kids. I always looked after my mom, you know, as a cultural thing, most importantly. Now they said, no, mom, you're not working five days a week. You've done your hard yards. And, you know, twice a week I don't have to cook. No one's cooking. We go out and talk to my children.

Can we talk about this? Because, like, growing up fifth or sixth generation New Zealander, it was everyone all for themselves. But my father-in-law is Thai, and he looked after his parents, and now he's looking at us. I'm white. I've got nothing to do with this. I'm Bosnian.

I'm European. And it's generation after generation that you look after your parents and therefore my children saw that from me and now they don't have any beef about paying bills, taking me out, telling me to go to class. You've done the hard work. As you said, you know, you're a solid mum. You did the hard yards. Put your feet up.

I'm going to take you travelling. I love this. On my 45th birthday, my son bought me a car. Oh. Because 10 years ago, I helped him buy his car. Oh. But I told him he's not allowed

to get a credit. It's like every kid's dream to be able to do that for your parents. That's so nice. Yeah, you just got to train them well. Love that, Emma.

Because I actually said if I won Lotto, if I won, because last time, what was it, 35 million or something like that? I said to my mum, I'll give her 10 grand. So I'll said if I won Lotto, if I won, because last time, what was it, $35 million or something like that? I said to my mum, I'll give her $10,000, so I'll take care of it. $10,000.

I'll take care of it. $35 million. It's an easy street, you know. You put in all the hard work behind that Lotto ticket. Yeah, I did. Emma, thank you. Enjoy the weekend. A couple of messages to finish.

To be honest, when it said on the screen, it said Emma on the phone, it said Emma Sugar Son, I was expecting she was dating a younger man. Yeah, I thought that too. Not her actual son. That's beautiful. My husband's on $200 an hour. Now, far out! Who's getting paid $200 an hour? And works 50 hours a week. What?

Let me pull up a calculator. That's $10,000 a week. That's $10,000 a week, mate. That's great. Is he a doctor? It sounds like a doctor. I still work, but only because the alternative is staying, oh, in your own time, Hayley,

please. I knocked something on my phone. Don't worry about it. To be honest, knocking your phone and something accidentally started playing could have been very pornographic.

Yeah, it was opera. How bizarre. The alternative is staying home with the kids and I value my sanity, but my pay basically covers daycare. Right.

Yeah, okay, that's good. Value the sanity there. As stupid as it might sound, making a significant amount of money makes a relationship really, really hard. There's always an imbalance if you don't want there to be one. I make a ton of money and my partner makes a normal salary. It can be awkward at times. That's why when you get together, you never tell them how much you make. Never.

You just say, oh, yeah, I earn the same. Yeah, yeah, what do you earn? The same as you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then put all of that excess into an escape fund. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for joining us for our financial TED Talk.

Have a great week. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere.