ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 3rd November 2023

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

$10 Cheese  Splash Planet!  Top 6: Ways for Hayley to get HYBPA back  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings: Jumpers  Hayley has a Proposal...  The Anonymous Phoner!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Bottomless Brunch. Hello. I read Wayne Barnes. Did you just say Bottomless Brunch? Bottomless Brunch, oh that's tomorrow.

That's tomorrow, babe. I'm planning ahead. I'm planning ahead, that's our show tomorrow. Although, if you're keen. I'm actually a bit dusty because I went out with some friends last night I didn't notice

this afternoon drinking and photos of the group and then it was like one and I was like that's generally Fletcher's weekday limit

and then another and then another I was like oh hello I'm pleased me too I was in bed at 8.30 I really did pull a Vaughan into Hayley didn't I

I'm really pleased actually because you've sort of abandoned us in the week you know the midweek drinks I was in bed at 8.30. I really did pull a Vaughan and a Hayley, didn't I? I'm really pleased, actually, because you've sort of abandoned us in the week, you know, the midweek drinks. I was in bed at 8.30, though. I was in bed. That's stellar. I was in bed at 7.30 yesterday. Judes.

I'm jealous. I was going to say, I read the Wayne Barnes statement, because he's retired. That All Blacks South Africa World Cup final was his last game. He's done like a hundred and something games. His wife on Instagram after the game was posting about death threats.

Leave him alone. And was like, everyone needs to calm down. It's an effing game. It's an effing game. Also, he's just doing what he thinks is right at the moment, you know?

Yeah, well, his statement was a lot more diplomatic. Yeah, right. But basically he said the same. He said, it's insane to do this job. You just get shit whatever game you referee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No said the same. He said, it's insane to do this job. You just get shit whatever game you referee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No matter what. Why does anyone do it? Why would you want to thank him for your service? Yeah, thank you. Not the result we wanted. Well, the New Zealanders

didn't really like him, did they? Did they? No. Well, because he refed the famous quarterfinal against France that we lost.

Was that a quarterfinal? And yeah, he's been there, but he's a ref. Maybe we'll have those Boston Dynamics AI robots one day. And then you death threat them and then they turn up

at your house. They send that little four-legged one around. And it's like, what did you say? Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr. Tear to bits. Or imagine if a Boston Dynamics

robot turned up at your house and it was like, you gave my fellow robot a death threat. I will now release all of your internet history. You'd be like,

please don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Maybe that would be a great way for people to calm down on comments online. Well, it was like, did you see that it was for a betting agency

Joseph Parker was in it and it was like fictitious but they were like, this could happen they were going through Twitter and finding people that had bad mouthed like Joseph Parker

and then he turned up open the door are you so and so yep and then Joseph Parker steps out from behind this guy and punches him in the guts

pretty good and it was like yeah there was like this whole and I was like that would be a rad because there was that reality TV show

that did that what was it called Hated or something. Yeah. But imagine if sports people turned... Oh, people drop when they're confronted with it in real life, face to face. Oh, yeah. And drop balls.

Smack talking MMA fighters and then they turn up at your door. Coming up on the show, the top six form. What have you got for us today? Well, there is a new executive team at Television New Zealand. Wow. There's some changes. Changes afoot at the state broadcaster.

Right. So it's the top six ways Hayley can get us our TV show back after she cost us our TV show by getting drunk and mouthing off

at the last lot. Yeah. Because daddy needs a little bit more discretionary income. True story. Hayley gets boozed and tells them

what she thinks of them. Yep. I won't say it's entirely the reason the show got cancelled, but it was teetering, and I think I just gave it that final look. It was looking over the cliff. Well, maybe then Hayley was like, look closer. Look closer. Well, the top six are soon dealing with that.

Next on the show, though, we need to talk about something sweeping the country. This is popping off online. Exciting news for cheese lovers in New Zealand. The cost of cheese is well documented. It has gone up over the last five years exorbitantly. It's outrageous. It's outrageous. You can't find a block for less than bloody 20 bucks.

Now you can. No, I thought, oh, what did I buy a block? I bought the... Yeah, but do you buy a small little block? One kg? One kg. I thought it was like maybe 16. No, you didn't.

Show me this. I know where you shop. I'm going to go have a little looky. No, what's the countdown brand? That one. The Edam. I feel like that was... Woolworths cheese.

Woolworths. How embarrassing. Why is Edam embarrassing? Ham's, Edam, 1KG. Edam's 30% less fat. You're eating cheese, but you're trying to watch your weight get real. No, I just don't like tasty. What?

What? I don't like... Should we go on? I'm sorry. just don't like tasty. I don't like... I'm sorry, I don't like cheese as it's meant to be. Tasty, delicious and literally full of fat. Is our friendship over now? I can't even hear you. I can't even hear what you're saying. Well, there is now a

new brand of cheese called Everyday Cheese. Now, I saw the poster for this when I went to the supermarket and I walked past it and it said $10. Ten bucks. For one kg. But it just says on it cheese. Does it say what kind of cheese?

Yeah, it just says natural everyday cheese. But underneath. There's natural everyday cheese. What are you worried? Are you going to get tasty? Yeah, I don't want to be too sharp. Oh, my God. I'm worried.

Everyday cheese, young cheddar cheese with a sweet, buttery, mild flavour. I need more information on this cheese. Where is it made? It doesn't say. Is it made locally? Yeah. So mild and creamy Edam is $11.29 for a kg. Look.

Crazy. I told you it was like $12. Yeah, because it's 30% less fat, so it should be 30% cheaper. Because I'm paying for fat when I buy my cheese. Right, okay. Yeah. Well, this block of cheese, apparently everyone was talking about it because they were like, oh my God, you can get a kg of cheese for one kg.

And everyone was like, yeah, but it'll taste like crap. Right, it'll taste like rubber or something. Yeah, for $10. Yeah, but people are loving it. People are loving it. Are they? I believe producer Jarrod actually tasted the $10 cheese. Yeah, I got my hands on it yesterday.

Big lines out the door, but grabbed a block. It's quite good. How was it? Were they lining up? Lining up for cheese. Lining up. No, they weren't. Were they?

Packed in New Zealand from local imported ingredients. Packed for Woolworths on 80 Favona Road, Mongeray, Auckland. Local produce. But it's good? Yeah, it's good. Is it like a tasty or is it? More smile. It would be closer to a young cheddar, I'd say.

Oh, he knows his cheeses. He knows his cheeses. And that's also what it says on the package. Yeah, it is a young cheddar. No, so he's just quoting what it says on it. Well, that could be quite nice then. Yeah, it's good. We had it on Tacoritos last night and they were pretty good.

Tacoritos? Tacoritos. Tell us more. It's a burrito, but it's a taco. Small burritos. Yeah, look, the name is slightly different to what it actually is. It's mini pizzas, but then once you've cooked it in the oven, you take it out and fold it in half like a taco.

Well, that's got to do with burritos. We just thought the name sounded cool. Is it too big? Is the tortilla more of a burrito size? Yeah. Oh, no. It's the mini tortilla. Take burritos right out of the name then.

Okay. Taco pizzas. Tac-eatses. Tac-eatses. No, pizza-cos. Pizza-cos. Pizza-cos. Pizza-cos.

I'm happy. Yeah, pizza-cos. Pizza-cos. So there's a few places that have dropped, like Pack and Save have dropped some of their, like Pam's cheeses to under $10. But everyone's like, like Pack and Save isn't accessible to everyone

because they're not as regular, you know, because they're so big. They're not as regular or accessible to people. Yeah, right. Okay. So this is a good option. $10 everyday option. Well, that's good that there's a bit of competition

with the cheeses. Hell yeah, we're back, baby. Play ZM's F a good option. $10 everyday option. Well, that's good. A bit of competition with the cheeses. Hell yeah. We're back, baby. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I would hazard a guess the year would have been 1989. Yeah. The year that the good Lord. The year I was born.

The good Lord Taylor Swift was born as well. Year of our Lord Taylor Swift and of our anti-Lord Hayley Sproul. Mankey Sproul was born. Mankey Sproul was born in the year of 1989. Mankey Sproul was born. Mankey Sproul was born in the year of 1989. Mankey Sproul was born? We've talked so much this week about

how she's Mankey. She's feral. She's embracing the man. She's feral. And it's good. It's actually gross. You don't even have a shower. No, I don't.

We were in a supermarket in 1989. In 1989. In a supermarket and the man in front of us was dealing with a big roll of cash. When he pulled out his cash he dropped three $20 notes on the ground.

And I, as an approximately seven-year-old child, saw it and reached down and I picked them up and I turned to my mum and I said, in a quiet voice, Mum, this man dropped this money and Mum said, put it in your pocket. Oh, shit. Put it in your pocket. Oh, shit. Put it in your pocket and shut up. That was a looning moment there that Christine chose to teach you about crime. He was literally from me to you away. I could have said, excuse me, mister, you dropped this?

And he would have said, thank you, little girl. Not going to make her look like a girl. My parents kept my hair very short. They were very worried about their son being confused. And mum said, thank you, little girl. Not that I ever looked like a girl. My parents kept my hair very short. They were very worried about their son being confused. And mum said, put it in your pocket. So I put it in my pocket. And I was like, this is literally the most money I've ever held at this stage. $60 in 1989.

I was a millionaire. Oh, my God. I can't even imagine. And I kept looking at mum. And she just kept looking at me just like, shush. Don't say anything. It's in there. Forget it.

And this thing was burning in me. I was filled with guilt. And that was when my life of crime started. We got to the car and I was just like, the minute the car door shut, I was like, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh Mom. And she's like, give me the money. And then I gave my mom the money.

And I'm just thinking And she said When you want something You can use this money Oh she just didn't want you to have the cash on your purse She took the guild off my hands Then Months later Because every now and then I'd ask her

How's my $60 And she had this little ring box And she pointed at it and she's like, it's still waiting. Little Vaughn-y wanted this money. It was just, so then we went on a little family road trip

down to Wellington via Hawke's Bay. On your dime. Did you pay for the gas? No, no, no. And we get to what was Fantasyland, which is now Splash Planet.

And mum said, would you like to shut the family? To me. Shut the family? That is a lot to put on a 70-year-old. I don't have that money. And she pulled out the three $20 notes. Bitch!

She's taking it from the box. She said, I think you do. So the proceeds of my crime of opportunity funded our family trip to Fantasyland. But you didn't even get a say. No. As if you were going to say, no, I'm saving it to buy something for myself. I believe the options were Vaughn's $60 pays for Fantasyland

or we don't go. Or we're going home. Or we're in the car park at this stage. My mother will deny this story, but I remember it crystal clear. I would actually be interested to see if she still denies this story. She's probably of an age now where she can look back and be like, hey, we all do things. You've got kids.

You know what it's like. So my day at Fantasyland was, and then soon after, it shut down and became Splash Planet. Right. And it's been shut, but it's reopening. Reopening soon. This is why. And I went to Splash, I went to Splash in 2004.

Yep. Just after Christmas. We were there for cricket. Historians, cricket historians will know the Sri Lanka team didn't play because of the Boxing Day tsunami. And they all went home because Sri Lanka was devastated by the tsunami. And I was there with my friend who, when we got there, was like, I don't have my wallet. Classic. And there I am at the gates of the very same property again.

Shouting. Shouting. So I've never been there and not paid for everybody I'm with. It sounds like if we ever go, Hayley, Vaughan should pay just because the universe wants it. I'm not paying if Vaughan's there. He shouts. Every time I've been to that property, I end up paying for everybody I'm with.

Granted, it was a smaller party, but prices had gone up. So it was probably $60 for the both of us then as well. And then we went in and I'll always remember I did the Lazy River. And you know me, I love a Lazy River. I love a Lazy River. Huge Lazy River fan. I can sit on that thing. If you were allowed cocktails in a Lazy River, me for the day.

Yeah. And I'd probably just go wheeze in the lazy river to be honest. Oh, if I'm sitting in my donut, my butt's dipped into the hole and I just wheeze straight into it. What, am I getting out? Am I walking off to the toilet?

That's chaos. That's chaos. Wheeze straight into the lazy river. I've never been. Look at this. And then someone code brown in the Hydra slide. Oh no, hon.

This place is just like... It's Hastings. Hastings. Carween. Carween as a like... It's Hastings. Hastings. Carween. Carween as a local Hawks Bay... Representative of the Hawks Bay Tourism Board here on the show. Yes, yep. It's in Hastings, eh?

Yeah. Oh, not Napier. No, Hastings. It's one place anyway to me. It's all the same. It's a megatropolis to me. Should we call it Naistings? Naistings, yeah.

Because they have joined. Naistings North. Yeah. Havelock North is sort of in there as well. Let's go to Hastings. I'm like, we're in Napier. And then you're in Hastings. And then you're automatically there.

Hastings. That's what I'm calling it now. Feel free to get on board with that. I'm also going to keep calling it the Hawke's Bay because I know they really hate that. But I tell you what, if 1989's Vaughan Smith turned up now with the family, so two adults, that's 80 bucks. There might be a family package.

Right. Because that's what they've said with the reopening. It'll be $40 $40 per adult seniors could used to be able to get in for $7 they're going up to $32

a day along the lines getting up the height just like you know it's a lot of walking up the stairs oh god yeah

and then faffing about when they get on there oh this looks so good when you're a kid you must have burned an indeterminable amount of calories running up those stairs

over and over and over and over. And you'd never puff. You were just like, and now I'm at the top. Yeah. Whereas now I'd be like, time out.

Two's enough for me. Yeah, I'll do two. I'll do two slides later. Two's enough. Well, look forward to the Splash Planet reopening. It's what, it's a few weeks away?

Yep. And the mascot Squirt on site. No. Squirt the big purple lizard. Squirting all over the park. Can you talk to me about your big purple lizard, please? Sometimes with boyfriends, you need to spell it out exactly what you want.

The other day, I said on Wednesday, which was the day we got our toilet after nine months, I said to Aaron, let's have a nice bottle of champagne to celebrate. We don't drink champagne all the time. It's very expensive. But this was a massive day and a massive moment in our reno. Now, I'm not trying to poo-poo or say that I'm too good, but he came back with a bottle of deutz.

Okay, you're going to need to explain to me what's wrong with a bottle of dutes. A bottle of dutes is fine for, hey, you know, something fun happened today. Can we also officially call dutes champagne? Is it made in the Champagne region of France? Or is it simply cuvee or whatever? You know how they're like, oh, we can't call it champagne, we'll call it cuvee. I think they call themselves champagne.

But I get Aaron. No, they don't. Method traditional. Aaron knows you're doing a Reno. There's a budget. Money's tight. You don't need to spend a lot of money. Where will you guys be on my side? You've done a hard jump over to Team Aaron. No, he's a great man. Budget-wise, I'm always on Team Aaron.

I just thought it was an occasion for more of a $50 bottle. Right. Okay. More of a hyper hide sack. I don't know what that is. That's the red one, eh? The red one. The red one, yeah.

Or a Moet or something like that. Came in with a bottle of dutes and I was like, oh. He was like, well, you said you wanted champagne. The red one, yeah. Or a moette or something like that. Came in with a bottle of dutes and I was like, oh. He was like, well, you said you wanted champagne. I was like, yeah. You've got to spell it out to guys. This is your point. You've got to brood. So this is a constant problem with girlfriends in life.

And there's one girlie on TikTok who's got a great hack. Sometimes I'll send Aaron out and I'll be like, can you grab me a meal or something? Yep. And then he'll come back and he'll get me a quarter pounder. I'm not a quarter pounder. I'm a fillet of fish. Yeah, I know, but he's not ordering for you. Did he think I was there? I'll be like,

I'm at Nono's. Do you want something? Yes, please. Great. How long we been together? 13 years. He should know your order by now. Fillet of fish. Yeah. Six pack of chicken nuggets. Sweet and sour. Frozen coat. Medium fries. I don't know. You should know your order by now. Filet-O-Fish, six pack of chicken nuggets, sweet and sour, frozen coat, medium fries. I don't know. You guys know it. Why doesn't he know it? You know what I mean?

It's obscure to me. So there is a girl who has got a great hack on how to do this. So she records a voice note. Hi there, can I please get a filet-O-Fish combo, medium fries with a frozen coke and can I add get a fillet of fish combo, medium fries with a frozen coke, and can I

add on a six pack of chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce? Thank you. Great. So I send that and I send it to Aaron, and he gets in the car, and then when he pulls up to the drive-thru, he plays it back. Okay, that's pretty genius. Then you can't stuff it up. It's literally my own voice making my own order. You're just making Uber Eats harder

though. You could have done this at home on on a app no but he's in the drive he's in the drive but it could be anything like hey can um can you go to the supermarket pick me up something hey can you give me a nice bottle of champagne to celebrate this moment sure so what is it you send a voice note and he walks up to the person in the booster and presses it and it's like hi can i please have a nice bottle of champagne i'm thinking person in the booster and presses it and is like, hi, can I please have a nice bottle of champagne? I'm thinking something in the $1 range. Why isn't this guy speaking? You could also do it if he was sending you to Mitre 10 or Bunnings to get something.

Oh my God, yes. And you'd be like, hey, excuse me, I'm looking for some screws. What kind of screws? You'd be like, you good day, mate. It's Greg from over here. I'm looking for a 50 gauge millimetre. They're real cute. They're silver. They're silver. And the guy will be like

follow me as opposed to me being like it's like got like a hexagon head but like also it's kind of round on top. Yeah. What size? Like that? Like not a like a deck of cards but like smaller but it's still quite thick like a deck of cards but like smaller

but it's still quite thick like a thick bolt this is genius that would work that's genius actually this is good for Mitre 10 yep

or your hardware stores there you go so voice note your partner voice note the specificity of your order with Mitre 10

because I do this yeah I will go online onto their website find what I want screen cap it send it shut A and just say

show them this yes right and I want, screen cap it, send it, shut A, and just say, show them this. Yes. Right. And I want 40 of them. Basically the same thing. Yeah. Genius. Can't go wrong.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Snuck up on me. New TVNZ management, guys. As ex-employees of TVNZ, contractors of TVNZ. This presents an exciting opportunity to get back in there. Yeah, get back in with the new commissioner. To get back in there with the new leadership team.

Backstory. We had our Have You Been Paying Attention Christmas Party and I also believe like End of Season Party. Yes. And it was after we were being told that there was going to be nine months off air and they would come back. Yes. And I thought that was the death of the show.

And you were right though, weren't you? I was right. We went from you thought it was going to be a more prolonged death though. You were like nine months is a long time to be off. I feel like we're just going to be starting at the starting block when we come back in nine months time and I was more of the opinion I don't think we're coming back.

I was like no no no it will because I had a huge mortgage and so I had to have this belief that the show would come back. Yeah and so I think we were at this, we were at some drinks. We were at Anna's Leaving Drinks. Okay that's what it drinks. We were at Anna's Leaving Drinks. Okay. That's what it was.

Previous producer Anna's Leaving Drinks. And you were a bit boozed. We did some day drinking. Yeah. And then we got an Uber. To the Have You Been Paying Attention Christmas Party. And the commissioner was there. The person that says, yeah, we'll give them another season.

Yep. And the person that said, we'll do another season in nine months. Yep. And Hayley came and boozed and the only seats left at the table were next to the commissioner and I was like, I don't like the writing that's on the wall and then proceeded to just sit there with

like, you could see the white of my eyes the entire dinner as I was listening to Hayley give the commissioner her thoughts. There's a lot of hurt here guys. It's really good that you're getting those out. I'm very passionate about the show. And then I said after after the meal, yeah, I think we should hit the road. Yeah. We did have to work the next day, so it was like a great excuse.

Right. And then it never came back. So there's thoughts that that might have been the death knell. Right. Okay. So anyway, there's new- There's theories around that it could have had something to do with it. There's new TVNZ leadership.

There's a new TVNZ leadership team. This is great news for you, Hayley. This is great. Fresh start, fresh palette. The net profit last year from TVNZ went from $7.9 million to $1.7 million. Small drop. Bit of a dip. Bit of a dip.

Different profits. Bit of a dip there. Yeah. And you know why? They cancelled your show. We're bringing in so much cash. And then all the advertisers were like, well, we love that there. Yeah. And you know why? They cancelled your show. I know, I know. We were bringing in so much cash. And then all the advertisers were like,

well, we love that show. Yeah. That's it. We're out. That's it. Well, I've got the top six ways Hayley can try to get us our TV show back with new TVNZ management. Number six on the list. Maybe we start easy.

We start with the muffin basket. But let's see if they're gluten free. Let's see if they're dairy free. Oh, yeah. It shows that you really care. Yeah. If you customise your muffins. That can be really offensive, giving somebody a cake

now. You could kill them. Trigger warning. I'm gluten intolerant. Trigger warning. I don't like cheese. What's that? Cream cheese icing. Who doesn't like that? I don't like it. I'd rather have a... Why today? This guy this morning. No, see? What you're doing, you've got to practice.

Yeah. That's not going to affect you because if you take it in and they say that, you're going to fly off the handle at them again. Okay. Hey, TVNZ, I got you this muffin basket. It's red velvet with cream cheese. I'm not actually a cream cheese icing... You fuck...

Sorry. Sorry. And again, it's got cream cheese icing on it. Thank you. Number five on the list of the top six ways that it's not going to work. Hayley can try to get us

our TV show back with our new TVNZ management. I think she should promise for the first season to forego her wages as a show of good faith. It's not a good year for me to do that.

And so the rest of the crew, yours truly included, can be paid. It's just not a good year for me. It's just not a good year for me to be forfe And so the rest of the crew, yours truly included, can be paid. It's just not a good year for me. It's just not a good year for me to be forfeiting any money. What I need you to do is consider this valuable work experience. You're new to the industry.

Look forward to future seasons. And before I'm on the list of the top six ways Hayley can try to get us our TV show back with new TV and Zed management, she can promise to be a bit more like Sonia Gray. I don't know if I can get that hot. I don't think I can trim down that much and get that beautiful.

Not with that attitude. Yeah, okay. Not with that attitude. I could be a bit more like Sonia Gray. I think we could all be a bit more like Sonia Gray. Grace. It's called Grace. Grace, yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six ways Hayley can try to get the TV show back with new TVNZ management. Maybe tell them that she won't come booze to the season wrap party. Well, that's what the wrap party's for. That's the attitude that costs you a TV show, ladies and gentlemen.

Young broadcasters listening. Number two on the list of the top six ways Hayley can try to get us a TV show back with new TVNZ management. I told you about that profit dip, right? Yeah. She could promote more clients during the show. Like she could wear,

you know how Formula One drivers wear their overalls and it's literally covered in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great idea. I'm more wearing like suits on that show though, like looking pretty and stuff. We can put badges on them. Okay.

Like what kind of companies would I be promoting? Anything. Mobile. BP. Okay. Like what kind of companies would I be promoting? Anything. Mobile. BP. Mobile. Okay. Just petrol. Just everything.

Yeah, everything. Lots of different petrels. Okay. Smokes, Benson and Hedges. Vapes. More of a Marlborough. You could promote Vape Nation. Fossil fuels, nicotine, alcohol, guns.

Yep. Okay. Yeah, all of those. Happy. Happy to do that I've actually got a bit of asbestos money sitting in an account

that needs to be spent on advertising for tax purposes an asbestos badge as well let's get that yeah and number one on the list of the top six ways

Hayley can try to get us our TV show back with new TVNZ management give the white guy the hosting role and just take a seat amongst the second tier characters oh okay

confronting and being told what to do by a woman yeah right white guy the hosting role and just take a seat amongst the second tier characters. Oh, okay. Confronting and being told what to do by a woman. Yeah, right. I thought it was quite a good host of that show. Oh. I did win an award. To be honest, you were,

but your gender just kept getting in the way. Yeah, it did. My breasts were so distracting. So distracting. Good luck, guys. Good luck to you all. Good luck to us.

Vaughn's trying to invite his wife to our friendship hangout and usually it's just the three of us. I don't know how I feel about it. Yeah, that's what she said. What are you doing after work? She's off to Waiheke Island, darling. Her and her friends are going to Waiheke Island for the night, darling. And she said, oh, we're not catching the free until this time, but if I drop the girl

to school and they come in, what are you doing? It's a sacred space for the three of us. I said, well, it might be Friday Latke's day. She's like, I'll come. I'm not sure. I don't know. Very presumptuous. A week out from our 13th wedding anniversary, she thinks

she's earned the right. The only person who's ever invited to join is senior economist, Brad Olson. And on the odd occasion, hot stuff, Mandy McLean. Yeah, very rarely when I come. I might invite him as well, make it five, so it's not weird.

I can't come. I can't come. This is an off-year chat. Anyway. It really is. Guy Fawkes is on Sunday. It is. I saw sales yesterday.

Yeah. Dude, November 2nd, everywhere. Yeah. Nothing pops up quicker than people selling Guy Fawkes. How'd that container get there? And already people, I saw people complaining last night they were hearing fireworks. Yeah.

I was like, it started. To each their own. I know they're really fun. I used to do them with my family and it was a really fun time. I hate them now. I'm a cat owner and my cat is terrorized by them. And I was listening to the radio yesterday, ZM. Oh, yeah.

And I heard an advertisement for a pet store that was saying, it's Guy Fawkes, like get prepared. So I thought I would share. I'm on the Animates website. That's my uh chosen source uh for some tips one of these we use is you can actually get anxiety relief products for your pets can you yeah what like so we use fell away which is a spray and you spray it around the house and it like calms them it's like a little zoppy do you know what I mean it's like a little delicious does it do anything

to the human no it's like a pheromone spray and it makes them feel yeah this is like the time he tried to make

catnip brownies it's not for humans why do when our dog had a seizure yep they literally prescribed it Valium

now you can't get that for humans anymore so when I know for sure that dog doesn't need it anymore, let's have a nice, chill afternoon. Do you know you can buy... Watching being John Malkovich. You can buy CBD products for your pets.

Can you? Yes. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. I don't think you can do it illegally, but I don't know. Check that your cats are microchipped and whatnot, because they might run.

And probably best to lock them inside this weekend, right? Keep them inside. Feed your pets before the fireworks start, regardless of if you have a set time or something because a full belly will help them relax and make them a little bit more sleepy. It's a bit like Fletch as well. Yeah, exactly.

Give them a full belly and he'll relax. Exactly like me. Walk your dog early so that they don't get restless. Keep them inside. If they're outdoor pets, bring them inside. Vaughn, that's you. Bring the hutch inside if you've got rabbits. Bring the cows and everything inside. Bring all of them inside. If they're outdoor pets, bring them inside. Vaughn, that's you. Bring the hutch inside if you've got rabbits. I'm bringing the cows and everything inside. Bring them in.

And provide a little safe space, a little den. Like we've done this for Rolly. Little blankets, comfort things that they like. What are those little squishy furry ones that like, you give them a fright and they die? Chinchillas. Guinea pigs. That's goats. Guinea pigs. Make sure you put your genia pigs inside. Put yourillas. Guinea pigs. That's goats. Guinea pigs. It's genia pigs. And they fall on their side. Make sure you put your

genia pigs inside. Put your genia pigs inside. Have your pet's favourite toy snuggled up in a bed ready for them. If they want to hide, like our cat goes under the couch or the bed

or whatever and he just stays there, let them. Don't try to get them out. That'll stress them out more. I'm going to make a fort out of the couch cushions. Yeah. Avoid cuddling your dog

when they're scared. You don't want to reward them for being afraid. And also keep your pets busy with fun distractions. Get some toys. And also, yeah, just be respectful. I reckon we'll cut it off at like nine o'clock

and then we're just done. And then we're all going to go to bed. You're really sounding like a boomer now. Yeah, well, it's happening. I'm transitioning. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I mentioned not too long ago that Aaron's parents had done this incredible thing. They'd written a book.

And when I was reading it, I was like, how did they do this? And it's this amazing thing. And lots of people messaged me asking for it. It's called Story Worth. What a great Christmas present idea. Great Christmas present idea. Non-spawn. And also, it doesn't have to be miserable.

A lot of people are like, quickly before they die. And you're like, no, no, just, you know, get them to write down some things. It's good. And we read Aaron's and it had like a profound effect on us. We were like, wow, man, what's it all about? You know? Life or? Life.

Yeah. No, what's the book about? What's this life for? Thank you. Should we play some Creed? Nah. Do you. Should we play some Creed? Nah. Do you guys want to play some Creed? Nah.

Was it Creed? What's this life for? Yeah, it was. Was it Creed? Yeah. If we're going to play Creed, it's got to be with our arms wide open. We're not playing that.

Well, no, that's got nothing to do with what's this life for. Yeah, I know, but now Creed's in the conversation. If we're playing Creed, it's either hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down. Yeah, I know, but now Creed's in the conversation. If we're playing Creed, it's either hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down, or

with arms wide open. Also, it's... What's his life for? Friday Flashback is coming up at 8 o'clock. Oh, we're not playing Creed for Friday Flashback. No, we're not playing that. Absolutely not. Whose Friday Flashback is it? Mine. I'm choosing a band that has just announced some New Zealand shows. That's my clue. Creed. No that has just announced some New Zealand shows.

That's my clue. Creed. No. If Creed came to New Zealand, I'm going. Would you? A bloody good laugh. Creed played with Kid Rock. And somebody else one year and it would have been the smelliest concert of all time, I reckon.

There'd be lots of durries in the crowd. Durries, bourbons. And just sort of a rank smell of an old singlet. Jim Beam vomits everywhere. So

What's his life for? So you read this this book that Aaron's parents wrote and I thought What's his life for? And it was great so then I thought

oh I'm gonna get this for my parents. Because the idea is the people that put the book together, they email you prompts. Yeah. Your parents fill it out and then they join it all together. So you, the gift giver, me, the gift giver, I select a number of questions that I would like my parents to answer. Each week they get an email with the question.

They fill it off, send it off into an email, and then they get it, and I can look at it. And at the end, like a year, a year and a half, I think Aaron's parents took. You go, that's enough, we're done. And then it gets printed. And it gets bound into a book, and you can print off as many copies for your family as possible.

That's cool. It's so cool. Like, it was awesome. And I was driven to do it because, I don't even know if I've even properly said it, but my dad's got early onset Alzheimer's and I was like, this is a great way to just jot down some things. It's very early days for him.

He's still bloody 100%, but, you know, something's coming. So I was like, this is great. And then I sent it off to my parents and was like, here you go, here's a fun thing on us, on me and my brother. Yeah. Paid for us. Not cheap.

Oh, okay. Well, it's not expensive, but at the end you pay for however many books you want. Right, okay. The membership's not expensive. And then I just sat here for like months and months being like, loving the stories, guys. You know, like, how is it?

Mum was like, oh, hey, we're in Adelaide. It's too nice here. We can't sit down. Who's got the time, darling? Anyway, we're in Adelaide. It's too nice here. We can't sit down. Who's got the time, darling? Anyway, we must go. I know. We're off to play golf. I know.

And then my mum answered one. And I was like, great. Got it. Great story. I'm trying not to read them too much as I go. So at the end, I'll be like, I've already read them all. Yeah. But the one my mum answered was, what was your first big trip?

Oh, yeah. It was, I won't read it, what was your first big trip? Oh, yeah. It was, I won't read it, but when I was about eight years old, we went for a week-long holiday to Rotorua. And she just tells the story of it. That's cool. From Dargaville to Rotorua. I was like, great.

But this is when you first... Here's the problem. My dad would be like, butchers. Okay, this is my dad. And that's it. This is my dad. Dad, what do you mean you went to the butchers? Who spins the yarn.

We went to the butchers. My dad spins such a good yarn. He's an amazing storyteller, such a funny comedian. I got his yesterday and it was like, what was your first job? And it was like, oh, I worked at the courthouse. Yeah. That's what I'm worried about. He's got to tell a story.

My dad would be like butcher and I'd be like more. And he'd be like, that took me a long time. Yeah. Because of the one finger typing yeah okay this is one of those things you wouldn't regret I'm my one of my granddads was the most amazing storyteller and he had a brain injury and you know that was the beginning of the end and it was a horrible bit and his stories were never the same but like it is one of those things you look at, man, there would have been great stories to pass on to, like, my kids and everything about, like, the family history. Wow, look, I think...

I mean, if your parents are willing... Small steps, small steps. It's such a good gift. Like, at the end, whether they're long stories, small stories, like, Aaron's parents are, like, both teachers, very good with English, like, real amazing storytelling. It doesn't need to be like that. It can just be, like, bullet points.

You put photos in, you can share stories, ask them things you've never known or things that, parts of their life that you weren't part of. Like, yeah, what was your first job?

How did you get there? It's good fun. Story worth. Non-spawn. Non-spawn. Non-spawn. She paid full price. Genuinely a great person.

Probably why she's, it's more, Elizabeth Sponk, I'm more of a guilt trip. More words, Dad. She paid full price for it And she's only getting I worked at the courthouse

We do this every Friday We rank something Today it's not food It's fashion Forms of over Warmth Sort of Outer layers Outer layers But not jackets Not jackets It's fashion. Forms of over warmth. Sort of outer layers. Outer layers, but not jackets, not coats.

Not jackets, not raincoats. And not pants. No, we're going... Upper body, outer layers. Sweater, your crew neck, your hoodie, your cardigan, your zip up. Your shawl. Oh, yep. Shawl.

Shawl, poncho. What about my fleece? What about a swinglet? I've got my fleece. Your fleece. My fleece. Swinglet is no. Oh. Nol. Shawl, poncho. What about my fleece? What about a swinglet? I've got my fleece. Your fleece. Swinglet is no. Oh. No, definitely not the swinglet.

What if you wear a t-shirt under a swinglet? No. No. What about a denim jacket? No, that's jacket. Okay. It's in the title. But what about a fleecy top?

Yep, fleece. Okay. Fleece, zip up. Fleece, jump a pole over. Hoodie. I'm just going to, I'm just going to, hoodie, number one. Hoodie's number one. Nah, see, I used to be, I like to oversize a crew neck now.

The hood's too much. Yeah. The hood's not too much. The hood's perfect. Because you don't have to have it on your head, but you can. It's too much fabric, it's there. What is the difference between a jumper and a crew neck? Because a crew neck, I feel like, is what you're wearing now, which is like a...

But also like that fabric, like a tracksuit fabric. Whereas I, in the winter, like to wear lots of like, you know, mohair, possum, alpaca jumpers that are crew necks. Would that be a crew neck still? We're just talking more about the shape. That's knitted. That's a jumper. That's a knitted jumper. Okay, I'm going to go number one, the crew neckcks. Would that be a crewneck still? We're just talking more about the shape. That's knitted. That's a jumper. That's a knitted jumper. Okay, I'm going to go number one,

the crewneck sweater. Classic. Yeah. Because I've got heaps of those. You do. And then number two, I'll go my zip-up fleece. Like those are pretty...

Patagonia. Yeah. I've got a Patagonia. I've got a Patagonia. But that's a half. Yeah. That's a half zip. Oh yeah, I've got a full zip.

Okay. On mine. Interesting. That's a half zip. Oh, yeah. I've got a full zip on mine. Interesting. And then number three. Interesting. Can I have that zip-up swan dry I've got, or is that too far into the jacket territory? It feels a bit jackety. I'm so sorry. But then it's very similar to a fleece.

It's a jacket. It's a shacket. I hadn't even considered it an option until you said a zip-up Patagonia fleece. And I was like, oh, see, not my big swan dries. Oh, but you've got to pull over. You've got to pull over swanny, don't you? Well, no, I just think the green one's more in the sweatshirt range.

You'll give them that? Yes, but not the big one. I'll give, it's cusp, man. It's cusp. It's cusp. You're pushing me here. Hoodie for sake of ease. Yeah.

As a bald man, a hoodie's great because you can be. Keep your noggin warm. You can keep your noggin extra warm. Yeah, it's got a built-in beanie, technically, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As a bald man, a hoodie's great because you can be... Keep your noggin warm. You can keep your noggin extra warm. Yeah, it's got a built-in beanie, technically, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes when you're feeling like a piece of shit, you just pull the hoodie on and you, like, pull the strings real tight.

Yeah. And you just, like, sit there like... Have you ever done that and fed yourself, like, chips through the hole? Like, uh, yes. Like a beanie. Wait, wait, don't act like this is a rare thing. You pull it and then you just have, the only thing in there is your,

your eyes, your nose, and the bit of your mouth, and then you just eat. And you watch telly. It's good stuff. It's good stuff. I don't know if I have a third. Maybe I would go hoodie three.

Crew neck three. Just because I've got nothing else. I'll go crew neck, fleece, zip up fleece. Okay. Yeah. I'm not a huge hoodie. I mean, when I wear a hoodie, I'm like, this is nice, but.

Cardigan's not on my list. Cardigan's on mine. Yeah. No. Because a girlie loves a cardigan. Yeah. I'm going to go number one, jumper with a round neck. Number two, cardigan.

Number three, crew neck sweat. Okay. That's me. Hoodie doesn't even factor. Hoodie doesn't even factor. Hoodie doesn't even factor. No. Dude, hoodies rule. I know, but I've got more of a sort of a slick class about the way I dress.

Hoodies are profoundly casual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're wearing a crew neck right now. You look quite smart. You could even almost go to the pub in there and go out to dinner in there. I know you wear your hoodie to the pub, but the hoodie is way more casual. I've also moved to this oversized

hoodie, which I haven't done for years. Yeah. You're loving that, aren't you? It's the number one comfort. It's just comfort. But you should grow up and just wear a shirt and a jacket. Have we talked about this? Have we talked about the fact that, like,

I am pretty sure I'm going to be a 70-year-old man in jeans and a beanie and a T-shirt? For the rest of your life. I think so, too. I've found my comfort. I've found my clothes, and I like them, but you just don't see 70-year-old dudes wearing... No, they transition to jumpers.

Yes. Vests. Yes. Collared they transitioned to jumpers. Yes. Vests. Yes. Collared, soft collared shirts. Yes. No. And just like, they wear their beanies like... My dad's a polo guy.

Big polo energy in the older chat. Polo guy in linen shirt. Do you think our generation, there's just going to be a whole lot more older people wearing real casual wear? Like going into a Ryman's and it's you know 2050

and everyone's in like hoodies it'll be weird and they're like diaper pants you know the saggy bottom drop crotch drop crotch trowel and a hoodie

it'll be weird we'll listen to the classic rock station and limp biscuits on yeah it's going to be weird they sold out Spark Arena

how? 2050 is going to be weird yeah but I'm here for it if I'm still alive It's going to be weird. They sold out Spark Arena. How? 2050 is going to be weird. Yeah. But I'm here for it if I'm still alive. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Oh, my God.

As a father of a nearly 12-year-old and a nearly 10-year-old, this gives me the wild shits. Oh, no. 17-year-old posts on Reddit. Reddit.com slash New Zealand. This is in New Zealand. So this is in New Zealand. Because you know allold posts on Reddit. Reddit.com slash New Zealand. This is in New Zealand. So this is in New Zealand. Because you know all the juicy ones are normally overseas on Reddit.

I know, the American and stuff. Occasionally it'll be like posted in one of the bigger ones. Like somebody said, I really think this is a job for the subreddit teenage drama. Oh yeah. And then you'll see it's on the main page of Reddit and you'll be like, oh, that won't be in New Zealand. And then it is and you're like, oh, gosh.

The headline on this since-deleted Reddit post is, am I crazy for being engaged at 17? Now, this is... Yes. Yes. A 17-year-old female engaged to a 19-year-old male. Oh, yeah, that's not bad. And then everybody... And then obviously deleted it, yeah. God, yeah, that's not bad. And then everybody...

And they've obviously deleted it, yeah. God, I'm glad you said the male was 19. Gotta say it. When you say 17, I was like, God, this is gonna be some old bloody codger who's like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, creep. So obviously the comments were not great. And so the post has been deleted.

You're both... Having been there, you're both just horny children. Yes. Neither of you is mature enough. Do not marry anyone you haven't lived with. Your first love is such a profound feeling.

I remember, I just had this like, you know those key moments in life you remember? I remember lying in my single bed in my parents' house when I was 16 years old and I was texting my boyfriend,

Benjamin, and we were talking about like, dude, I don't know how that we couldn't spend the rest of our lives together. And we were texting about like what we'd be like and where we'd want to live and all this kind of stuff. And me just in my soul

being like, yes, this is the one. A few months later you're like, oh my God. Do you think he also thought that or he was just playing along because when you're a teenage boy and the end goal is... No, but we'd already

done that. So we're like... Well, right, okay. We were together for 14 months and I just remember being like, man, I can't believe it. First go and I've found him. Because you do. Hormones, man. And you're just like, I don't know what this feeling is. I genuinely loved him, but you don't know

what real love is until you get a bit older. And then you're like, oh, man, you've seen me shit myself. And we've got money together and we've gone through horrible things. But I know that feeling when you're like, I get it. Was there ever a stage when you were like, we should get engaged? Or this could be marriage. What stopped you? How do I avoid this happening?

I've got 100 questions. You can't. I simply must. It is my worst nightmare. Before they finish school. Never leave the house when they're together. Dad, we've got something to tell you. And I'm like, who is this boy?

And she's like, this is Tyrese. And I'm like, welcome to our house. We're engaged. The hell you are. See you later, Tyrese. Yeah, welcome to our house. Yeah. We're engaged. The hell you are. See you later, Tyrese. Yeah, I don't know. But then I know that the people whose parents really did that, really like blew up at it were the ones that dug their heels in.

Yes. And then they lost them. Yeah, I think, yeah. So you've got to kind of balance being cool with it. Okay, I want to know, is there any one listening now that got engaged like under the age of 20 that actually it lasted? Yeah. Like do you think we should take some calls on that?

Absolutely because I just don't feel like it's possible. It ever does? Yeah. But you always hear of like childhood sweet, you know, high school sweetheart. Yeah. I love a successful high school sweetheart. I don't like when you see them in their 20s and you're like, guys, you actually don't need to stay together just because you did at school.

Yeah. But then you see the people who are genuinely high school sweethearts. So me and Benjamin, my best, my friend and his friend at the time, they got together the same time we were together. They've got a house, they've got two kids, they're still together all these years later with a beautiful married and beautiful family. And they're high school sweethearts.

Yeah. One and done. That's crazy. I know, I know. When did they get engaged though? Was it under what age? No, no, like later in life. But they were together for years.

Okay, well, let's answer the question. Did you get engaged under the age of 20? Did it work out or did it not? Yeah, man. Hormones. Yeah, maybe you were like, how did it go down with the parents? Yes. My mum and dad must have been engaged.

My mum must have been a teenager when they got engaged. That was like 1970s. My mum got married at 20. Yeah, that was like World War II. They were just like, oh my God, the Nazis could kill us at any moment. Let's get engaged. The ever-pending threat of Nazis.

Really pushed people to do it to Russians. It really did. Do all sorts. It really did. They might not have come back from war, you know? Yeah. 0800-DARLS at Amazon number. Give us a call.

You can text through 9696. Did you get engaged under the age of 20? And did it work or did it not work? We are asking the question this morning. Have you been engaged under the age of 20? Did it last? How did it go down with the parents? We were saying people that did get engaged

at a young age and it did last, they're always very proud of it. They love talking about it. They do. Pearl, good morning. You were engaged under 20. Yes, yeah, I was, yep. And how old were you?

I got engaged when I was 19. Okay, and then are you still together? Yes, yep. So we're still together. I'm 23 now and we had our, it was quite funny. We had the five-year Facebook memory come up,

and we looked at each other and laughed because we've had two kids, got married, and bought a house. Holy moly. I'm like five years. How did the parents take it? You bought a house in your 23. Congrats. Yeah, thank you.

How did the parents take it when you said you're engaged? They were pretty chill about it, surprisingly. Yeah, well, we had the baby first. Yeah, okay. Oh, I see. Okay. How long had you been together when you had the baby? When you got pregnant?

Are you sitting down? Do you want to know? I want to know. Not too bad. Not too bad. Only five months. Five months you get pregnant. You have the baby.

When did you get engaged? Before the baby was born or after the baby was born? After the baby was born. Yep. I got pregnant a month after turning 18. And then it was a little bit after my 19th birthday I got engaged. Vaughn is in shock because he has teenage daughters. Do you know what though?

Listening to you, you sound... I think I'm having a heart attack. You sound really... You've got your head screwed on. Yeah, totally. You sound mature. Do you know what though? Listening to you, you sound... I think I'm having a heart attack. You sound really... You've got your head screwed on. Yeah, totally. You sound mature. I like to think so, yeah.

And you're also doing life at a super rapid pace. Are you calling from like the 1970s? How does a 23-year-old get pregnant at 18 and afford a house by now? I know. And have more kids. We just knew what we wanted. We just kept going. Yeah, how good for you, man.

Pearl, thank you so much for sharing. Bree, you were engaged under the age of 20. Yes, I was. How old were you? So we were engaged at 18. I've been with my husband since I was 14. We had our first daughter when I was 17. He proposed at 18, we got married at 19, and we're still together.

And how many years has it been married, still all together? Well, we've been together for 21 years, and we've been married since 2007. Wow. So 15 years. And how were the parents when you were like, we're engaged? Quite happy. His dad was a lot older, so he had had a stroke. So, before he had had a stroke, he had actually said to my husband that he needed to marry me.

So, they were very old school. So, they were all, you know, marriage before children. We did it the other way around. We had our children first and then we got married. So, yeah. And I have to say, long time listener.

Yay! I just held it corner to corner and it hit my computer screen. Yay! What a beautiful love story. It is, Brie. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing.

So many messages and text messages and calls. We're being flooded in. We'll get to more of these stories next. I only wish I got married young because I was so hot when I was 19. 19, 23, 26. My hottest years. Could you imagine the photos from your wedding? You'd be gothy as.

Super gothy. It would have been a black bridal dress. It would have been super gothy to some skinny rock boy. We want to know if you've ever been engaged under the age of 20. And which way did it go? Did it work out? And we did say people do love to remind you when it works out. No, people are not.

The people that got engaged as like super emotional teenagers who are like, I hate your dad. We've been married in a Wiccan ceremony. Yeah. We got married in a cemetery. Yeah. And we're going to be together forever. Yeah.

Because we're vampires. No. We cut our hands and suck the blood. They don't want to share their stories. And fair enough, that was an embarrassing time. But we are getting some lovely stories. Tegan, you were engaged and married under 20. Yeah.

Wow. Give us the blow by blow. So we were dating on and off since I was about 15. And then we got married when I was 18. Dad's worst nightmare is hearing I'm getting married to the guy I'm on and off with. Yeah, parents aren't too happy about it. As a parent, I can only imagine you never forgive someone that wrongs your child.

Like if they're like, Dave's been cheating on me. And you're like, I will murder Dave where he stands. And then next week it's like, Dave asked me to marry him. I'll be like, I'll kill Dave. I'm going to kill him. So did your parents go to the wedding? Yeah, they did. Well, we were quite religious.

They weren't super keen about it, but they were on board. Was he also religious? Yeah. That's why he shacked up. Secure the next generation of religious. Yeah. Religions work. And so have you still been together?

Are you still together? Yeah, we're coming up 14 years in March. And we've got two more. Yay, there you go. Are you still religious? No, and we've actually had the discussion now about how it's like we've won the lottery, the fact that we've actually lasted this long, and we were married so young. Yeah, man.

It's cool. Some people just find their people. It wasn't God. Yeah. It wasn't God. It was true love. It was you. It was love.

God bless. Tegan, thank you. Andy, you got engaged. God bless. God bless. From one religion to another. Yeah, John. Rustafarian.

Andy, you got engaged under 20? Yes, at 18. 18. How did that go down with the folks? Not too bad. Everyone thought I was pregnant. Oh, yeah. Because there can't be any other reason, right?

You've got to be out the door. That's right. I'd also be interested to know, we should have been asking if people are from small towns. Because this is big small town energy. You are from a small town? Yes, a very small town. Yeah, it's because it's a big small town.

Do you remember when you lived, we all come from small towns, when you'd come to Auckland and be like, everyone's so hot up here. Oh, A very small town. Yeah, it's a big, small town. Like, do you remember when you lived at, we all come from small towns, when you'd come to Auckland and be like, everyone's so hot up here. Oh my God, yeah. No, I'm from Wellington. I got here and I was like, wait, not everyone's white? That woman, where's she from?

What's that? No one knows, Vaughan, I like this. I love not knowing where people are from. So how old were you when you got engaged? We were 18. I was 18. My husband was 20. And we got married when I was 20, so he was 22.

And there were bets on how we found the day after on the in-laws table on how long we were going to last. The longest was 18 months and the shortest was six months. Wow. And I'm pleased to say we're just coming up 28 years married. Yay! So it's a big up for you, because most of them are all divorced. Hey!

I love that. I love it. Sometimes when you know, you know, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Andy, amazing. Have a great weekend. Thank you for sharing.

Mind you, I found a note, and people were gambling on the fact, I reckon I could just stand in on a great weekend. Thank you for sharing. Mind you, I found a note and people were gambling on the fact I reckon I could just stand in on a happy marriage. How are you? I'm miserable. I am miserable, but I tell you what, still together. Yeah. You all lose. You all lose.

Legally, still together. Yeah. Some messages in. I got engaged to a man because my parents wanted to straighten me out. Let's just say we never got to the wedding because I left him for my now ex-wife. Right. You've got the lesbian equation there. That's the situation.

You look very confused. No, Hayley just needs a moment. Say this again. Met at 17, engaged at 18, married at 19, still together eight years later. We're still in single digits. Early days. And now I have a two-year-old together.

That's cool. I got engaged twice before 20, engaged again at 23, and now married to a different person as an actual adult. I was highly emotional and an idiotic youth. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it gives me – it's great that you can look back and be like – Mistakes avoided.

Perspective. Hindsight. Hindsight. Hayley and I will be invited to your child's first wedding, right? Yeah. Like, because you know how the dad and parents always invite friends. Then you get to have a few friends because you're paying. You needn't panic.

It's 30 years away. Oh, my God. I'm going to absolutely get sloshed. I am going to get written off. I'm going to get written off. I'm going to get written off. All of us. I'm going to get written off for my kids' weddings.

Yeah. Yeah. Which could be. I used to be the man of your life. Vaughn, Vaughn, come on, Vaughn. I used to be the number one. This is before the ceremony. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

This is when you see her in her dreams. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch for the nightly. Play ZM. You've got a proposal. I've got a proposal to make to Vaughan, and it's something we've never done together, something I've actually never done before.

Can I guess? Is it whitewater rafting? No, but we have not done that together. Okay. Is that your only guess? We've done whitewater rafting together? Yes, we went over the highest commercially rafted waterfall in the Southern Hemisphere.

We're great friends. Oh, Keddie Falls. It was terrifying. Scary. They were like, keep paddling. highest commercially rafted waterfall in the southern hemisphere we're great friends Oketi Falls yeah it was terrifying scary they were like keep paddling I was just like

nope I'm holding on now because I can hear a waterfall yeah good stuff yesterday I said to Aaron I was in a mood

I was in a mood he was in a mood and I was in a mood well don't bring me into the I don't want to be in the mood in the mood

and no no no we won't bring you into the mood but the mood forced me to want to get pizza or something for dinner. And then I was like, no, no, we're trying to save money. And I knew I had mince patties in the fridge. I had mince in the fridge. And then I was like, I'll just go get some buns

and I've got enough stuff and I'll make homemade burgers. And Aaron loves it when I make homemade burgers. Dude, my friend Callum recently said, he's a philosopher of types. He's like, have you ever heard somebody say, we're having homemade burgers without a smile on their face? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're like, what are you having for dinner tonight? I was thinking we could do homemade burgers.

You're immediately like, there is simply no better meal. Yeah, and I got interesting with it yesterday because I didn't want to buy anything else. I bought the buns and I was like, I'm just going to make up from what I've got in the fridge, everything else. Two minute noodles in there. You're going to love this. You got pickles in there?

Yeah, I got pickles, babe. So I got the buns and I toasted them and I put on a little melty cheese and I grilled those and they were buttered. And then I had some apple chilli jam that my neighbours made from their trees. Put that on. Avocado, tomato.

They made the home apple chili jam. It was Dave and Lisa's apple chili jam. Avocado, tomatoes, lots of gherkins, a little bit of salad, some spicy mustard, some mayonnaise, the patty. I caramelized some onions and I put it on. My God. I'm there. Wow.

They were incredible. But I said to Aaron, here's the deal. This is going to take me some time. And a fried egg. And a fried egg. And a fried egg. And a fried egg. This is a cool burger.

You've got a lot going on in this burger. No, no, no. It wasn't too bad. It wasn't too bad. Is that what I always do? I overfill. We had about nine napkins each, but it was worth it. And I said to Aaron when I was just going to make them, I was like, do you know what

I was thinking of having for dinner? Homemade burgers. And a smile spread across his face. Of course it did. Spread it right up there. And I was like, do you know what I was thinking of having for dinner? Homemade burgers. And a smile spread across his face. And I was like, it's quite a lot of work to do. So in exchange, I'll make homemade burgers, but after that, you have to come for a walk with me.

He was like, fine, I'll come for a walk. Ate the burgers, happy, we went for a walk. Now I've got a little bit of a route that I've been doing, like 35 minutes, just before bed. And he came with me, doesn't usually come. And we were walking down the back bit, and I was like, like oh we tuck through this bit here and it was packed and it was a CUME

rugby club and I was like don't worry we'll just go through there and then we'll see what's going on and we'll walk around the thing and go back onto the route that I'm doing to I'm not playing golden oldies rugby I'm very puzzled as to where I'm ever going to fit into this story So we come out and there are hundreds of

people at this rugby club round the corner from my house. Why? It's Thursday night. It's touch rugby season. No. And Aaron goes, oh, they're playing touch rugby. And I was like, I've never played touch rugby. And he was like, it's basically rugby without the tackles, the scrums and all that kind of stuff.

And there's no showering afterwards. Not group showers, no. No. Anyway, so we walked by and then Aaron kind of got, we're looking at it and was like, man, I used to play touch all the time. And I was like, oh, have fun. And I was like, tell me the rules.

He was telling me the rules. And I was like, oh, I could never do it. He was like, we should start a team. I was like, oh my God, we should start a team. I love that. He was like, this will be fun. Just a real social thing, something really casual and fun. And we can come down.

And it was like a beautiful day and families were there and kids were there. And there were like eight different matches going on. And I was like, oh, yeah, I could do that. And he was like, you know, they're all different people of different fitness levels, shapes, sizes, ages, everything. Lucy from the office just messaged saying that they've got a team. Okay, okay. We could take her down, Vaughn.

I'm not right, I'm not. Now, me and Vaughn are part of another little group chat that you're not in, and we're called the QMU Gun and Meat Club. Yeah, right. This is all the people that live out. Our way. And I was like, oh my God.

So it's me and Aaron. Aaron knows how to play. I can run up on the field. I'm there. Vaughn and Sade, they'll join the team. Sade will be in for the laughs, right? Me and Sade running at the back, having a couple of wines. It's not going to work.

Vaughn, the whole game. It's not going to work. It's not a strength-based game because you're not tackling. You're just running. You can't be running with a flute of champagne. Vaughn, Sade, Hayley, Aaron, Jake, Kasia, that's the six aside, right? I thought you said seven aside. No, it's six aside

there. We were counting them all. Six aside. Then we can get some subbies on for when me and Shards are getting a little bit past it now. Sub out, sub out. We can get a couple more people involved. Aaron was like a couple of young ones. We'll find maybe our neighbour's kid. He's a good runner.

We could get him in. The QMU Gun and Meat Club are now a summer casual touch rugby team. Nope. Nope. Yes. Nope. I used to play to your rugby, babe. It's so much fun.

Nope. We could get T-shirts made. I was like, oh, we've got little uniforms. We could pick a colour. We have a little uniform together. Go running. Nope. We don't have to buy the boots.

Lots of people were just in sneakers. Nope. Yeah. Nah. I'm going to ask Sade. She's going to say yes. No, she won't. She will say yes.

It'd be great. She doesn't run. Fletch, I'd invite you, but we live so far away. You're forgetting. You're on the wrong side of like 30 to just be like, I might just play a sport I haven't played before. You're right. And that is the wrong side of 30 to just be like, I'm going play a sport I haven't played before. You're right. And that is the wrong side of 30 to just be like,

I'm going to do something I've never done before physically. It's just running and holding a ball. It's literally just running and getting tapped. It's dislocated things. It's snapping at our killies. It's back pain. We were watching an amazing team play and I was like, that looks fun. And then we went round and we were seeing definitely like a slower team.

And I was like, that'll be more us. That'll just be our buzz. Trotting along, running away from people. The key is for any social sports is when you start the first few games, the grading they call it, you play real shit. And then you get against those kind of teams. And you beat them every time. It's so much fun.

I'm putting you down for a large large t-shirt I know and all honestly Sade would be a small A I've got a bad hidden dark competitive passenger

that I don't let play yeah he does he's a bad boy he's a bad boy do you know my fiance channel I know I think there's not a dark

competitiveness I know and I know there is these don't get to play anymore. I don't know if it's good if Greg Grosso from Nova's tackling people during touch rugby and punching them. There's no tackle. Yeah, but when they're done.

Because we're losing by so much. You just spear tackle somebody into the ground. It's a red card for the season. I'll take this as a yes. I'm going to talk to you why. Some text messages in. Okay. And the defence shall then rest its case.

Okay. Social touch. I dislocated my shoulder and had to have full reconstruction. That was required. I've never played again. Someone said, who's going to tell Hayley

that playing touch is basically burpees nonstop with a ball and an exercise called- I love fitness. Also someone saying, Hayley, Husky flute cup has a lid and keeps it cold. Oh yes. I can literally run. I don't even have to put it down.

Put a lid on the bubble. You all say as bad as my dark competitive passenger is who must be kept at bay, and it's why I don't do any social sports because- I'm a winner. I know what you're going to say. I'm a winner. Sade has the filthiest competitive streak.

Fantastic. So do I. But it's not fun. It's not a fun Sade. It's not fun drinking bubble. Fantastic. So do I. But it's not fun. It's not a fun shot. It's not a fun drinking bubble shot. It's not. It's like swearing at people. Right, I'm in.

I'm keen. I feel I'm going to need to bail you guys out at some stage. No, we're doing it. It's going to be fun. We're going to train through the year next summer. We're on the field, baby. My cousin's partner played touch for the first time on the wrong side of 30. Four minutes in, he broke his shoulder in four places.

I dislocated my knee playing touch on the wrong side of 30. The defence rests. Ah! Play. Zidim's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Just quickly, I will say that in the next 10 minutes, we're going to give away a double pass to Friday's Live. Yeah, so keep listening. Keep listening.

Sorry to interrupt, Vaughan. Go away. Never do it again. It's Friends Week at Fact of the Day. I see, what was the latest news with the passing of Matthew Perry? I think a toxicology report. Oh, we didn't read that. It's not going to change anything, is it?

No. It's just going to make us even sadder. So we're doing facts all about friends. Yes. And today is facts about the friends' apartment doors. Oh, the purple door. The doors. Oh, okay.

Yeah, inside. Yeah. Hmm? The inside the apartment, not outside. The doors both inside and outside. You can't have an inside of the door without an outside. No, I mean in the actual apartment corridor. The corridor, yes, into the apartment.

Because I've been in New York. This part of the fact of the day is taking a lot longer to explain than I thought. You don't want to adore us? We're having a walk through what a door, yes, into the apartment. Because I've been in New York. This part of the fact of the day is taking a lot longer to explain than I thought it would. You don't want to adore us? We're having to walk flesh through what a door does. No, I just imagine the exterior. Because in New York, you can go to the building. Yeah, but that's not where it is. It's not in there.

But yeah, in the studio. Have you ever seen, and it does ruin the magic, when you see a sitcom that's got sets, how it like rotates around. Yeah. And so like the Friends one was the Monica and Rachel set and then the Corridor and then Joanne Chandler's and then they spun it and then the Central Perk was there and you spun it again and it was like another. Rosses.

Yeah. And all of that. Kind of like a lazy Susan, but for filming sitcoms. Exactly. Not Young Charm. Let's go to Rosses. Yeah. Spin it around.

So today's fact of the day is that, and for the Trainspotters and the Big Friends fans, you might know, but for everybody else, the original apartment numbers in the building were Joey and Chandler were four, and Monica and Rachel were five. Yeah. Now, why do you think that was a problem?

Because opposite... Oh, what floor were they on? Exactly on exactly yeah they were on the top really up high with exactly the view when they started filming the exterior was that they were very like quite a way up so it'd be like apartment five level 10 so in episode 14 of season one yep somebody in the set design was like actually actually, I think we should change them. And changed them to apartments 19 and 20. Oh, okay. And they remained until the end of the run of the show.

So they changed the apartment numbers halfway through the first season. And also, you know the very famous yellow frame around Monica's peephole? Yes. Yeah. On the door, on the door Monica's peephole. Yes. On the door where you peep out and you see who's outside. There's the yellow

frame around it. Yeah. Was not meant to be on the door. Yes, I've read this. It was a mirror that was supposed to be part of the interior decorating of that apartment but the person doing set design and the set build knocked it over and smashed the mirror part. I was like, they were really insistent on using this yellow frame.

So we're like, I'll just stick it on the door around there. Around Monica's peephole. And then how many people do you reckon did that to their peepholes? Put photo frames around peepholes. So many. So many of them. And you can buy online that yellow frame. Can you?

Yep. The exact same yellow frame to pop around your peephole. Please don't talk about my peephole. My house doesn't have a peephole. I'm sad. I have an apartment, but I don't have a peephole. Yeah, actually you should get a peephole. Can we install a peephole?

Very easy. I don't know if you're allowed. Can you just put in the peephole? You just drill a hole through the door. So you drill a hole right through the door. Yeah, but is that door your door? At a predetermined size. Yeah, it's my door. But are you allowed to because it's a fire door?

So can you just put a hole in a fire door? No. I don't want to be told off by the firefighters. Does anybody else have a peephole? Does anybody else have a peephole? No. No peepholes. I don't believe so.

No peepholes. You'd be the peephole guy. What am I going to peephole? Like other people walking down the corridor? They'll be like, why is that guy peeping on me? Dude, if I lived in an apartment, my entire existence in the apartment would be just peepholing people.

Peephole, yeah. Just watching everybody. I'm fascinated by it. Every time Vaughn comes around to my apartment, you need a telescope. You do need a telescope, though. It's a waste of apartment space. It's an absolute waste

You could be seeing I don't know You could be seeing a boobie Every day The number one thing people say When they come to my apartment Don't be looking at boobies Look at stars

Yeah I thought we were looking at stars Is that what we're calling them? Yeah A couple of beautiful perky stars Yeah Yeah God I'm out here stargazing Yep

Beautiful constellation you've got there. Yeah, stunning. We'll look in an apartment over there, you'll see a Ryan's belt. This is why I do not have a telescope. Because of YouTube pests. A couple of pests. So today's Fact of the Day and the final one for Friends Week is all about the doors. Episode 14 of Season 1, the numbers changed,

and the yellow frame around Monica's peephole on her door was never meant to be there. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I said we should start a new segment, when we're talking about this, called Anonymous Phoner. And then there was a chorus of people in the producer's booth that said,

there's already... Yeah, we did do it a few weeks back. There already is a thing called Anonymous Phoner. Are you starting to forget things that we do only a few weeks ago? I don't know, man. I'm having fun. You're having fun? We're all having fun. That's fine. I'm having a lot of fun. Yeah. So something

has happened. A man has gone public with the fact that he drank another man's warm urine. Accidentally. Well, yeah. So this was a delivery of like some takeaway foods through an app that came to his house.

This delivery driver was delivering non-stop, driving, driving, driving in the car, non-stop, non-stop, non-stop. So had a cup to wee in because he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop. Now that's gross. That's really gross. Hayley saw me one time pull over in traffic

on the side of the Auckland motorway, hide behind a bush and take a wee. Yeah, in peak hour traffic. We were stuck in traffic and he was busting. Yeah, and then I drove the Jimny out the side of the motorway and actually made up ground. So that was pretty neat.

You're a traffic guest. But that's me. I'll stop. I'll wee. He's a prick. I'll stop and I'll wee. Yeah. I'm not weeing in a cup.

I'm not weeing in a bottle. Yeah. That's disgusting. So he does this. He's weeing in a cup. The same cup aseing in a bottle. Yeah. That's disgusting. So he does this. He's weeing in a cup. The same cup as this fast food outlet that he is delivering this man's food of, and the man's got a combo. Oh, no.

So he then goes and grabs the man's food and the cup of what he believes to be the man's beverage and gives it to the man. The man drinks it. That's tangy and warm. Yeah. Lo and behold. Oh, God. Now, this guy who it's happened to,

I'm not 100% on board with believing it actually even happened. Really. A series of horrendous things would have to happen to get it to this point. Yeah. It feels like this guy wants free stuff or publicity or people to follow his wacky adventures on social media. If it is legit, and we assume it is, why on earth would you admit that to anyone,

let alone the entire world? is legit, and we assume it is, why on earth would you admit that to anyone, let alone the entire world? You deal with this in a very private fashion. You Listerine, maybe vom and Listerine, and then you just live with the shame your entire life until you die. A quiet, dark, here I am. Yeah, a quiet shame. Maybe you let it out to a trained professional. Yeah.

I certainly wouldn't tell quiet, private session. I would just say, hey, doctor, I drank some urine of a man. What do I need? What do we need to do to make sure that that never takes effect? It wasn't Fanta. It was flat Fanta? Yep. It was urine.

Do I need some hepatitis? Do I need an injection? Now, this is where you would take that to the grave. I would not be willing to tell anybody. Yep. So, we thought, and saying it out loud now, seems like we may have painted ourselves into a corner. Is there something you've never told anybody

that you would like to anonymously admit on the radio right now? Yeah. Now, for one lucky caller, there will be a Double pass to Fridays Live. But we don't want fibs. We don't want fibs. We've got pretty good BS detectors. We'll know if you're telling us fibs.

Yeah. Fridays Live. Now, yesterday was the two-week mark. It's happening November 16th. Spark Arena. Jay Cinderella. Boyz II Men. Flo Rida.

Kelly Rowland. JoJo. Travi McCoy. And more. Ticket for Ticketmaster. Now, for one person that is willing to admit something that they have not told anyone else. Anonymously.

They will get a double pass. Yeah. Okay. I mean, we have told a lot of stories on our radio show. Like tonight's sleep together. Oh, my God. Again, it's got to be believable. It's so good to get out.

It's got to be believable. Yeah, come on. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's got to be believable. It just feels so good to get out. It's got to be believable. Yeah, come on. Oh, my God. I feel so free. There's the bullshit detectors going off here. Take me to Friday Jams. Remember I regaled many years ago the story of having the camp labacta, the food illness in my stomach,

and shitting myself on a lime scooter whilst in Prague. I could have easily taken that to my grave. You could have. You didn't need to tell anyone that your shit was running down your thigh as you scooted around Prague. And my jeans, yeah. We just threw those jeans out. Also, you do have a lot of stories that you'll take to the grave.

Oh, my God. I tell you some stories. I've worn some great stories. I think if you write a memoirs, but don't let it be published until you're dead because then you don't have to deal with it. I'll do that story thing. It's called Fletch.

You won't believe it. Fletch, the untold stories. Fletch, to my grave. You hang out with the rest of my friends at the weekend. You know these stories are nothing to those guys. Oh, yeah. Everyone's got stories. We want to take your calls right now.

0800 DALES at M. Oh, my God. It is the anonymous phoner. 0800 DALES at M. You can God, we have a text. It is the anonymous phoner. 0800DALSATM. You can text through 9696. Get it off your chest. What are you,

what have you always said you'd never tell anybody but you're willing to tell us now? Anonymously. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM.

So a man overseas was delivered what he thought was his part of his combo, his drink, was actually the driver's pee cup. And he admitted this to the world. That we drank it. And it's disgusting. And we said why would you ever tell anyone?

Take it to your grave. Take it to your grave. The anonymous phone-in topic, what is the one thing that you will not tell a single soul but right now because there's a chance to win Friday Live tickets, tell us for the first time. Anonymously. And oh my god, there's a deluge. I think we're going to have to

do, we're just going to pick one. It's wild. It is a wild ride. I was not expecting this wild ride on a Friday. I think rather than just decide on one or pick the best story because there are so many great stories, we should just put all the texts and phones in the drawer and just draw out one winner at the end. Okay. Okay. Let's, let's hear from a few people now. Uh, let's go to Kate who

is a fake name, an anonymous name. Uh, good morning. Anonymous Kate. Anonymous Kate. Good morning. What is the one thing that you've never admitted to anybody else, but right now you'll tell us. Um, so when I was when I was not quite of age, I went to these trippers with a group of friends and I got pulled up on stage and I thought it was really fun and took some stuff off and then

got off and noticed that it was my dad's colleagues that have been at big events that I've been at every week. And I wasn't of age yet, okay? I was not of age. Oh my God. You keep repeating the illegal part.

I'd leave that out. What? Was your dad there? Your dad wasn't there, though. That's what I mean, but that's why it's fake name, right? Yeah, fake. Did your dad's work colleagues ever tell on you?

No, because they just said that they're on the right to order. Yeah, well, they also don't want to say I saw your daughter's test. Wait, so you've never told a soul this, but you're willing... No one, no one. If it got back to my dad, I would be absolutely, well, yeah, no way.

No way. You just put, like, one of those voice things on everybody. Yes, okay, Kate, you are in the draw for our Friday's Live Pass Anonymous. Anonymous Caller joins us. What is the one thing you've never told anybody? That is you, Anonymous. Yeah, hi. Good morning.

Yes. So one evening, me and a bunch of mates were climbing a structure, a small skinny structure and a site that's used for lifting things. And we got to the top and we'd had a few drinks beforehand. It was so parched and we

found this little, like, bottle of E2. Oh, perfect. So parched. Crack it open, have a sip. And it wasn't E2. That was a crane driver's wheeze, wasn't it? It was the crane driver's wheeze. Oh, dude! Drinking random bottles of E2. You're pissed on a Saturday night climbing crane driver. Oh, dude. Do you know what that is? He's drinking random bottles of E2.

You're pissed on a Saturday night climbing a crane. You deserve that. Yeah. That was so the one up. And you've never told anybody that? A couple of people do, and I haven't lived it down in years. It keeps coming up.

It keeps coming back to haunt me. It's just not something you can tell people, is it? Incredible. Thank you, Anonymous, in the draw for those tickets. Jess, what is the one thing... Sorry, I just read a text. The one thing you've never admitted to anybody?

So in a past relationship, my father-in-law was running for a local health board election and we threw a party for all his supporters, friends and family, everybody bring your voting papers along and I really didn't like him and I really didn't want him to get on so I said to my husband at the time, I'll take the papers

I'll drop them into the post box and they went straight in the fire. Oh my god! And I've been holding on to that for years and really wanting to tell someone. What does it feel like to get that off your chest? So good! I love this man!

We're getting some insane stories. Thank you Jess. We'll come back next with more stories. I love this, man. We're getting some insane stories. Thank you, Jess. We'll come back next with more stories. I don't even know where we began. I don't know. There's too many. Oh my god. The anonymous phoner. The producers soon will draw out one text or phone call and award

them with a pass to Friday's. Are we laughing at the same one I'm about to put in the group chat? Now, we have got so many messages and a lot of these will become a podcast only special

because they're too good. They're too good. Too good for broadcast radio. Oh, shoot. We want to know this morning what is the one thing that you've never admitted to anybody

but now with the chance to win tickets to Fridays Live, less than two weeks away, you'll admit now on the radio, anonymously? Let's go to Emma. Let's start with Emma.

Emma, what is it? I'm very scared and nervous to tell this. My heart's going really fast. Oh! I don't want to be judged. I'm not okay. I'm literally shaking Did you commit election fraud?

No, nothing like that I've judged myself very strongly over this for many many years about 15 years When my son was a toddler you know those little rocket things outside the kids' baby's clothes shop

and you put the money in and it rocks? Yes. I used to love the helicopter one. There was a helicopter one. Yeah, it was good. I always said she didn't have any money. Oh. What did you do in it?

Well, I put my son in it because he loved them. And I never put money in it, of course. He was just happy just to sit in it. And when I took him out, he had wet himself and there was wheeze all on the seat. And I was young. I was young, and I didn't know what to do, and I just put him in the car and drove away.

Oh, you're fine. Those things are covered in wheeze. Yeah. The wheeze was there. The wheeze was left on the seat. As a kid who would have pants and wet the bed, I've peed everywhere. You've been carrying around unnecessary guilt. You shouldn't feel guilty about that.

No. Kids' rides, I mean, kids' pools are 90% wheeze. Yeah. But what if another child sat in it? They did, my love, they did. Don't worry about it. Oh, it's smelly. Oh, my God.

To be totally honest, it was probably wheeze in the room when you put your kid in it as well. You've been carrying around that guilt for a long time. You are relieved. 15 years. Forget about it.

Let us relieve that from you. Take away the guilt. Emma, thank you. In the draw for those tickets. Wait there. Some messages. I used to practice kissing with my first cousin when we were like 11 to 13.

Not sure if he remembers. Oh, he remembers. Oh, he remembers. But we've never mentioned it since we stopped. Wow. It's never been mentioned again. Thank you for getting that off your chest, but 100% he remembers.

Yep. I'm a real estate agent. I got a rumbly tummy at an open home. I had to use the bathroom. There was no toilet paper, so I went to the kitchen, found a community newspaper, walked back to the loo, but must shit myself on the way back to the loo, so I had to use a community newspaper to clean up that.

Yeah. And then also just, I would have had a shower. And then, oh, look, I don't know how much time we've got before this open home starts. I know. You're just like, dealing with this mess and it's just like, Hello! Coo-ee!

So many people shitting themselves and feeling terrible about it. Don't you really feel guilty about that? The body does. I had a night with what turned out to be my uni lecturers. I didn't know he was my uni lecturer until the first time I was in one of his lectures where he also introduced his wife, a fellow lecturer. Oh, wow. Top marks for you that semester.

Yeah. I was at a children's birthday party and there was food on the table. A certain packet had the competition ads all over it. Like, open up and you'll find something within this pack. So I grabbed it, opened up, and it said, congratulations, you've won. I took it and won a fairly decent amount of money, and I've never told anybody. Because they weren't your chaps.

They weren't their chaps. I love that. I love all the guilt that people are holding on to forever. Now, the producers have picked out one story. Anonymous 6 joins us. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. You are our winner of the Friday's Live tickets.

Oh, my gosh. Now. Not yet. Not yet. Oh, wait, wait. Do we have to hear the story first? Yeah, we have to run it through the BS filter. Okay, all right.

What is the one thing you've been holding onto that you haven't told anybody? Okay, so to this day and for quite a few years now, my auntie believes that the urn on her mantelpiece is the ashes of her brother. But it's actually ashes, cigarette ash, welding ash, whatever from my uncle's garage floor in the wall. What happened to the actual ashes? Well, they have been divvied up by the rest of the family because

she actually wasn't very liked. So, and caused a bit of hoo-ha at the funeral, etc, etc. So, that's what she got gifted with. So, everybody else, there were ashes and everyone's like, you have a quarter, you have a quarter, you have a quarter. What about Barbara? Yeah, it totally

got divvied up to the right people. But yeah, she... She got divvied up to the right people, but, yeah, she... She got cigarette butts and welding ash. Wow, and then the family says, what, like a little glad bag each of auntie? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

That is amazing. This feels tapu. This feels like bad juju. She's going to open it up when it's finally... Is that on display, like, truly? Well, I don't see her, obviously. But from what I believe, yeah, he's on display up here very nicely. The ashes of my uncle's garage floor on her mantelpiece.

She's going to go to spread them one day. She's going to go to spread them one day, and it's going to have that welding slag in it and a couple of ciggy bars. Yeah. Oh, my, That's brilliant. Congratulations. We've got a double pass to Friday's Live for you. Well done. Awesome. Thank you very much.

Oh my God. So many messages. We've run out of time but our podcast today will be special with all of the insane messages that we can talk about. Including one of a woman who fell asleep in a bush and was found by the police. That she's never shared with anyone. Nope.

Okay. She has shared the rest of the story with us. We'll catch you back tomorrow with our bottomless brunch from six. Have a great weekend if you miss any of the shows this week. Catch up on the podcast and we'll see you back Monday. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that

with this podcast. Oh yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like

your review and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say

that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.