ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 3rd October 2024

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Pudding before dinner SLP - Can you put your thumb into a Christmas cracker? Fletch's Visa Drama Top 5 - Easy passes Tui Billboards are back Hayley's Gym Crack New Zealand's Coolest City Lady doesn't want lasering pics Parent's weirdest rule growing up I bet I can guess your Mum's name Fact of the day Vaughan got asked for a quote Hayley favour for her parents  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Thursday.

I just got a fright when I heard my own name. Oh. Sort of only just clicked in that I work here. That's not good. You got a fright. Yeah. But it only just clicked in that I work here. That's not good. You've got a fright. Yeah. But it's good that it still feels fresh

and surprising. Yeah, I heard Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. I thought, surely he doesn't mean me. Yeah, I do. I mean you. Yeah.

But that almost feels like a bit of imposter syndrome. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Interesting. Well, I'm here

and I'm happy to do the job. Happy to give it a go. I'll give it my all today. Yeah. Good. Okay, good'm here and I'm happy to do the job. Happy to give it a go. I'll give it my all today. Good. Okay, good to know. The top six is on the way. Apparently, a lot of students struggling with NCEA.

Yeah. Well, you think about the last four years of education, 20, 21, 22, 23. So that was, and not including this year. This will be the fifth year on like, there was some sketchy years and four years they were kind of like starting high school

and now they're at the end of it. So their whole high school life. Or they're just dumb. Dumb-a-dum-be-dumb. Just some be dumb. I mean that was me at school, but okay. That's alright. You turned out alright. That's how the bell curve works, baby.

We need the dummies. Take all the dummies out of the equation. That bell's a lot harder to ding. Yeah, that's right. I don't know how a bell curve works. I don't know either. I think it's like an average thing or something. No idea.

So it needs, if you want to be on the other side of the bell, you've got to have the people on the other side of the bell. I always happily sat right in the middle of the bell. Of the bell curve, yeah. Very happy to be medium. But if you're in the middle of the bell, you're actually curve, yeah. Very happy to be medium. But if you're in the middle of the bell, you're actually at the top. Exactly, which is the best place.

When the tsunami hits the bell, you're going to regret not being on the top of the bell. Wow. They are looking at other options to help some kids out that are struggling. I like the top six easy passes, easy credits. Okay. Give them credits for doing the following things.

Also, I would like to talk soon about a bad dream that I had. And I think it's because Fletch instilled in me some anxiety. Don't blame me for your bad dreams. No, but you did. You told us a harrowing story of travel, a travel nightmare of sorts. And then I had a nightmare, an actual one. Okay, well we can get into that soon, but next on the show. Dumb. No.

Stupid idea. I think this is a good idea. Somebody is proposing we mix up the order. Someone is messing with the order of things. The well-established order of things. Don't touch it. I'm for it. It's pudding related? Yeah. It's next

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Pudding Is the last thing you eat In a sit down meal And I think that Regardless

Regardless of whether It's dinner, lunch or breakfast Sometimes How special is Christmas When you have pudding At lunch time Love pudding at lunch time What like after

Big Christmas dinner After Christmas lunch It is weird You have a pudding at lunch time And then you're lunchtime. What, like after a big Christmas dinner? After Christmas lunch. It is weird. You have a pudding at lunchtime, and then you're just like, shouldn't have done it, and you're ruined for the rest of the day. Well, that's what Christmas is all about, though, isn't it?

Blowout. We usually eat too much at Christmas lunch, which we have at like three o'clock, that we'll have pud for the dinner. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Take a little break. Take a little break and have a solo putt?

Hours apart from everything? Well, not hours apart because you eat from like three to four and then putt at like five. Right. Just a little break for putt. So somebody is proposing switching it up so you eat pudding first and that way you don't overeat pudding later after dinner. Is that right?

Is that the idea behind this? Yeah. There's a multitude of like, we've always been eating this way. Maybe we should switch it up. Maybe it would solve the obesity crisis and such. It's called food sequencing. It's bullshit.

This isn't going to solve that. Pudding itself is probably to blame for the obesity crisis. And the fact that it was always such a treat. You can't do pudding all the time now. Before dinner because dinner is savoury. I had pudding before dinner the other day. I had made a... What did you have?

A paleo tart. It was like a... So it was probably just meat anyway. Was it meat? No, it was like dates. No, not carnivore. You had a pie before dinner. What I did is I had a mince and cheese pie. No, it was like, you know, like a nut and date base with like a chocolate thing in it. Anyway, but it was like a leftover

and I was making my dinner and dinner was taking a while. And so you were hungry. I had a little slice of my tart. But was it weird then going back to your dinner? Nah. I don't really care. I don't actually abide. I don't know if you know this about me,

but I'm somewhat of a rule breaker. I'm a bad girl. But you couldn't do a bowl of ice cream before you have like meat and veg. I don't actually abide. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm somewhat of a rule breaker. I'm a bag girl. But you couldn't do a bowl of ice cream before you have like meat and veg. No, that's madness. Imagine hitting old school ice cream and peaches, sliced peaches of course, from the peach tree preserved in summer months for the colder winter. Imagine having ice cream and peaches and then sitting down to sausages and mash. It's out of order.

Do you ever just have pudding for dinner? Nah. Aaron does it all the time. If I'm not around. Do you ever just have pudding for dinner? Nah. Aaron does it all the time. If I'm not around, because you know the man doesn't cook. What does he have? He'll either go to, there's a local place,

the Moorpork that does the meats. They do like American style pies and stuff. Dude, their pies, I get a pecan pie every time I'm there. He gets a peanut butter pie. Slaps. He'll just get two slices of that. Two slices?

And that's all he eats for dinner. Oh my God. You have no idea how decad two slices of that. Two slices? And that's all he eats for dinner. He'll eat that. Oh my God. You have no idea how decadent these pies are. Two slices is unheard of. Or he gets a Sara Lee and just eats it.

And he's like, I'm supposed to eat that. He gets a whole Sara Lee? He's a big unit. He's a big unit. He can tuck one of those away. Do you know one of the other things? He's a 13-year-old boy

in Mum and Dad are all way. Yeah. Except he can drive himself somewhere to get a CRLA. He just doesn't have to eat whatever's in the freezer. Correct. Yeah, that's 100%. To me, it's madness. The sacrilege of putting sweet before savoury is just not something I'm...

So the thinking is it stomps you overeating later? Yeah. There's other ways of doing it. They were like, you know, if you have a meal and sometimes you have a side salad. Yeah. Eat the side salad. Go. Eat the side salad. Go first on the side salad. I always do.

Get that yuck shit out of the way. This is how I grew up. The last thing left on the plate was the meat and taters because they were my favourites. Again, Aaron eats like that. I curate the fork. Oh, yeah. I'm an adult.

Now I do that. Now I do that. But when I was a kid, you'd struggle through the stuff you didn't like. Salad, vegetables, and then leave the steak to last. Yeah, and savour it. You've got to have a bit of this with that with that.

It's the mix. It's the combo. Potatoes and steak go together fantastically. Everything else in. Yeah. Well, they say that in theory, eating sugary first, sugary food first,

tells the brain that it's actually had enough. So when it comes to dinner, you're like, I'll just have a little bit. And so technically you've eaten less than if you all... But then you've eaten more of the bad stuff. Yeah, it's not good. You've got all your pudding and you're like, thanks, I couldn't possibly finish

this protein. You really shouldn't be eating pudding full stop, really. That's probably the reason we're here. Oh, wow. The Grinch is here. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little poe

Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little poe Silly little phone. Silly little phone. Now, we argued about this because Hayley said that the other day

she just found a rogue Christmas cracker and she pulled the Christmas cracker and we both said, did you put the thumb on the banger? And she said, that's an illegal cracker technique. Well, we caught it because Aaron always does the thumb. I said, no, let's just raw dog it. Let's just grab it and leave it up to the stars. No. I hate the thumb.

It's so stupid. You implied that the thumb, which I only put, you find out whereabouts generally in the seam the actual banger is hidden. Yeah. And you put your thumb on the banger. Yeah. So that it doesn't slip and not fire. Do a lot of people do this like a wishbone?

And that the idea is you just take a gamble and then whoever gets the cracker also wins? Yeah, I'm just like, you know what I mean? The banger? But when people do the thumb, if I'm not doing thumb and you do thumb, you're going to win. No, I don't believe that to be true. It is true. I think it's predetermined. It is true.

I wish we had Christmas crackers in the studio. This is what we ask you for silly little poll today. Putting your thumb on the Christmas cracker. Yes. Love it. Or no, it's not allowed. Illegal cracker technique. We said this very seriously.

68% of people said yes. So close to being nice. So close to being nice. So close. 32% said no, it's not allowed. See? Minority. Thank you.

Also, it does feel a bit odd. You can't point at her and say minority. Barely. Barely a minority. Why presenting minority? Why presenting minority? By the way, it may seem odd talking about Christmas crackers, but I've just checked the Christmas countdown.

It's not far. 82 days. Fun. I've begun in our nightly prep evils, I've begun the how many shows that we've done. I think we're at 55 shows. Till the end of the year.

Good stuff. Not that we are in a hurry to get out of here. We'd love to be here every morning for you. I don't care about these people. We laugh out louder. We just live our time.

This is our passion. These people listening mean nothing to me. This is a job I would do even if I wasn't getting paid. I would not even consider it. Vaughn wants to be in his nuclear bunker, in his fallout shelter. It is my pleasure to be here. I'm here for my joy and not the pay.

Vaughn wants to be alone in his bunker. I will be alone forever. With his animals. Oh, yes. Okay, so let's get into some responses. Yeah. Well, it's effing cheating. I did that.

Well, Riley says it's effing cheating. Oh, my God. Did she say the actual full word? Yes, she did. In capital letters. Yeah. In capital letters. It's not cheating.

So the game is there that they're obviously, it's whoever gets the banger wins, right? Also, to get the whole, whoever gets the middle part of the cracker. Yeah, the middle bit. You get the present and the joke inside. But we all know the toy's going to go, wee, fly under the couch. You're going to have to go and find that. Yeah, but it's yours.

The hat's crap anyway, and the joke's probably going to be the same as the person sitting just opposite you. I know. There's only about six jokes per pack. I hate it when the factory puts all the same jokes in. Oh, I know. There's six of you around the table with the same bloody gag. I think you guys need to start dropping a bit more

coin. We go high-end. Even when you go high-end, they're a waste of it. Years ago, didn't we do an expose on crackers and we got all of them in studio? Even the rich ones. And even the rich ones are rubbish. Oh yeah, the crap. You make your own.

We've made our own. Yeah, I've had that before. Someone did it. You can put sausages in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All kinds of anything. You could put a whole fish in there. Or it'd have to be a small fish. Oh, sardine. Stephanie said,

how else do you make the kids cry when you win every time? It was weird as a kid how you took that so personally. It is the spirit of Christmas right here. Oh, I'm going to win my cricket. My granddad always be like, oh, you can pull mine. And then he'd set me up, bang, he'd win.

Ha, ha, ha. You know, yay. Oh, I hate Christmas. What? I win. Here you go. You can have my toy. Because that was the thing you thought

someone was going to rob you of a tiny, tiny cone. Kids really spoil Christmas, eh? Or a key ring compass. They're annoying. They actually make Christmas. They reinstate. They're like, it's about me. It's the truth.

They reinstate the magic of Christmas. Do you know what else does? Prosecco. In moderation. In moderation. Just one glass on the day. Just one glass. I just want to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

That's right. Tis the reason. Cara says, because if I don't, the other person usually does, and it's an unknown rule now, so now you're both doing it. It's still by chance. Who gets it, though, right? I believe so, Cara. I believe it's predetermined.

It's not. If they don't do it, it's their loss for not knowing. I wouldn't call this cheating. It seems like you're trying to convince yourself there, Cara, more than anyone else. If they don't do it, it's their loss for not knowing. I wouldn't call this cheating. You really have to. It seems like you're trying to convince yourself there, Cara, more than anyone else. Tessa, you've got to just grab that bastard full fist and pull. Merriment is no time for thumbing.

It's a lot more fun. Like this action of the thumb really spoils the joy of just grabbing it and yanking it. You can still grab it. Oh, no, I suppose your thumb's got to go in, doesn't it? So it doesn't do that whole fisty grab. If you do grab it, if you're up against another grabber, you have to twist and grab really tight.

Oh, I'm pinching. I've really got that thing. Victoria says it's not the thumb that does it. You always let the other person pull hard, and you just kind of hold it. When they pull, their end rips. She said,

works every time I win every Christmas cracker. Are you sure? Oh my God, I pull hard. That's why. It's not the thumb, it's the fact that you're

a big old jerker. Because you're ripping the end off. Yeah, you're pulling and so the weakness that you're in pervs first. that's brilliant. This has changed

Christmas Day, Victoria. What if you get two Victorias passive and they're just like in this... Three, two's brilliant. This has changed Christmas Day, Victoria. What if you get two Victorias passive and they're just like in this... Three, two, one. Go on. You go. Might be my guess. I'd say it's just the jerk. Don't jerk.

A slow pull. Have you ever done a slow Christmas pull where it just literally goes pap? Pap. Like it doesn't go bang. It goes pap. But if Victoria's holding steady and you're pulling just ever so. I know. Oh, it's brilliant.

That's genius. Don't tell anyone else. Everybody shush. Everybody listening. Everybody shush. Don't tell anyone else. Play ZM. I had a horrendous dream last night.

It involved this workplace and Ross Boss. Okay. And the dream was that something had happened. Like I'd gotten caught up or something, and I had left it too late to get to a big international flight that all of ZM were going on. Oh, that would be nice. We were heading off somewhere via Doha.

I can't remember where. So we were going here to Doha, Doha to probably Europe or UK or whatever. Yeah. And it was that thing where I was like stuck in mud and I couldn't move fast enough and my brain couldn't understand. And I got to the airport and I was like, I'm too late. Were you muddy? I wasn't muddy. It was a feeling of being stuck in the mud.

I get those. Where you can't move and you need to. And Ross was there. Or you can fly. Or I have mud. I get those. We can't move. And you're like, oh. And Ross Boss was there. Or you can fly. Or I have the dream, I can fly. But as soon as I'm like, I say to somebody,

I've got a secret to tell you. I can fly. I'm going to show you. I can't anymore. Oh my God, how embarrassing. Okay. And I got to the airport

and Ross Boss was there and he was like, are you going to make the flight? And I was like, well, I've left my bag at home. I just came here to ask you. It's in the mud.

Tell him it's in the mud. It's in the mud. I said, I came here to ask you what bloody terminal are we going to? And I was getting really frustrated. He wouldn't tell me. He was like, well, I've left my bag at home. I just came here to ask you. Tell him it's in the mud. It's in the mud. I said, I came here to ask you what bloody terminal are we going to? And I was getting really frustrated. He wouldn't tell me. He was like, it's the second one. And I said, that's not an option on the Uber.

And I said, I've got to get back. And then I said, oh, I'm just going to go home. I'm going to get my suitcase. I'm going to find a way to get to Doha. And then I'll get on the second half of the flight with you guys. It was this awful thing. I remember going home being like, oh, my God, I'm in so much trouble. And, like, I can't get my words out

to try to find out what bloody terminal this is and why won't Ross tell me? And he was there being like, good luck and walking onto the flight. It was this really stressful dream. Did you wake up stressed? Were you just like, oh yeah. Yeah, I woke up and I was like, oh, screw that.

That was awful. That anxious feeling in the top of my chest. I hate when you wake up from a stressful dream. Yeah, but I can't help but feel like this is your fault. Why is it my fault? Well, one, Dream You should have made sure that I was there on time. I feel like Dream Me

doesn't need to because you and I are not the problem. It's Vaughn that is the one that needs to be harangued to the airport. But you had already gone through the security,

which was like up this lift by the shops and I could see it and I was like, can you just let me in? Like, I'm like up this lift by the shops. And I like couldn't, I could see it. And I was like, can you just let me in? Like I'm with that group. It was really awful. Anyway, I think it's your fault, Fletch, because you had said to Vaughan and I,

we catch up during the day. The three of us. Genuine friends. I don't know if it comes across on air. I think it comes across on air that we are genuine friends. We talk during the day. You were telling us about your mate who is coming to New Zealand. Oh, my God.

This was so stressful. Yeah. I was just, like, vacuuming. Vacuuming. Oh, yeah. Had to get a new vacuum cleaner. He's got a new vacuum cleaner. He's obsessed.

Oh, I didn't know you'd got a new vacuum cleaner. Yeah, because they gave me a price to fix it. And I was like, well, just get a new one. That's just the price of a new vacuum cleaner. Yeah. And then Vaughan told me that you can just buy a part on AliExpress or T-Move for a dollar. Apartment explodes. Yeah.

Anyway, so I get a message from my friend. He's like, at the airport, he's got like three flights to get to New Zealand. And he's at the airport. And he's like, oh, my God, I don't know what to do then. They won't accept my New Zealand visa. And I'm like, oh, my God. What are our New Zealand visas like? So now I didn't know, but you can either get,

if you're from a country, like a friendly country, you get an e-visa. Just like, you know, you just turn up at the go, you fill it out online. Yeah. Just like going to America. And when you scan your thing, it knows that you've done it. What if you're from a frenemy country?

Or if you're from another, you have to get a visitor visa, so you apply. Yeah. And then they will now email you like a two or three page visa which says here's your visa. How do you apply for that? What's involved in that?

Just online. I don't know. I promise I'm a good guy. You promise? I promise I'm not going to stay in New Zealand. I'm going to go home. I don't have a criminal record.

Yeah, I don't have a criminal record. Teeny, bad guys. Kind of like what you would do for an e-visa but yeah, you have to apply And they have to check you out and that kind of thing And then yeah they email and he's like I'm showing them

He had a printout of the visa and he's like What do I do and I'm like I don't know and so I was googling And I was like on the There's an Immigration New Zealand webpage and it says You know you don't need a sticker In your passport because you know a lot of Yeah it's not the 80s

But a lot of countries still have like a need a sticker in your passport because you know a lot of... Yeah, it's not the 80s. It's not the 80s, but a lot of countries still have like a sticker you put in your passport. That's why everybody wants from their passport. Everybody wants a stamp. Yeah, all those big things. That's what they were saying at the airport because they had probably never seen a New Zealand visa before.

They were like, no, you need a stamp in your passport. Coming from what country? Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic. You can't come directly here? No. So they would never have seen a New Zealand visa.

So you've got to go Dominican Republic, Texas? No, through South America. Through South America. Okay. And so these people were like, no, you need a sticker. And even though it says

on the visa form, you don't need a sticker. You don't need a sticker. But then I was like, It's so stressful. But then I was like, I showed them the Immigration New Zealand website. Yeah. Because it's. But then I was like, I showed them the Immigration New Zealand website

because it's got examples of the visas. And he showed them and he said, yeah, but they don't look the same. And I was like, what? And so I looked online and the New Zealand Immigration website has examples of visas from 2018 that don't look like they look like now. Oh, New Zealand Immigration. Oh! So these people and the outgoing Dominican Republic people

are like, well, I mean, we've never seen this. Let's check the website. Yes. They go on there. Six years old is on there. Oh, my God. That's bad form for us. That's bad form for us.

It kind of looked the same, but, like, they don't have a black box. Like, his visa didn't have a black box, and the formatting was different. It was worded. Oh, New Zealand. I wasaland i was like oh no we've got to change that see that's probably they're probably fired everybody that updates the website yeah i was gonna say we're 100 right like that would be a government department that's like every other government department had its guts not yeah but they eventually accepted it after they rang people you telling us a story

yesterday it gave you anxiety trying to say to them like i just i'm trying to explain to you Yeah, but they eventually accepted it after they rang people or something. But I think you telling us this story yesterday. It gave you anxiety? That thing of trying to say to them, like, I'm trying to explain to you something, but you're not understanding. That was the whole theme of my dream was like, I'm trying to explain to you I need to know what terminal to go to. I'm going to miss this trip. It's my fault you had a bad dream. Application system upgrade on the immigration.gov.nz. Did you report this?

Some systems will be unavailable for 30 minutes Between 5am and 7am Friday the 4th of October They're onto it I think they just always do upgrades Where was the upgrade from 2018? I did email them Not like a Karen But just with a suggestion for the website

Strong suggestion A strongly worded suggestion How about you upgrade this so like people... Did you use those words? Hey, how about... No, I was like really nice about it. No, I reckon you've done something. Because it says here, application forms affected, student visas, group visas, work visas, partner and child visas.

No, they had that up yesterday, yeah, when I was looking at it. But yeah, it'll be interesting to see if they update it. But I was like, that's so embarrassing for us. Really embarrassing. They're stopping hot Dominican Republic. So you're telling me... You're telling me beautiful, gorgeous, amazing... So what I'm understanding from this is that hot brown people

are having a hard time from coming into New Zealand. It's criminal. I mean, I've had enough. I'm going to start my own strikes and marches. Right, okay. I'm just going to move to Dominican Republic and just be there. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. This is terrible. ZM's Fletch, Bourne and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello there. The Education Minister, Erica Stanford.

The Education Ministress. Yes, thank you. Thank you. I just needed to gender that because Erica Stanford identifies as a woman. Says, help is on the way for teenagers struggling to pass new NCEA maths reading and writing tests. They're struggling. They're struggling with the NCEA maths reading and writing tests. They're struggling. They're struggling with the NCEA. So I won't...

You guys were school cert, eh? Yeah. School cert. What are they called? Sixth form. Sixth form. Sixth form. Yeah.

Year 12. Yeah. And then university entrance and bursary and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now it's NCEA what? One, two, and three? One, two, and three. That's what I did.

And you can... Am I correct in saying But now it's NCEA, what, one, two and three? One, two and three. That's what I did. And you can, am I correct in saying you could be doing NCEA level one, some subjects, NCEA level two, other ones if you were like really good at maths

but struggled with the English so much? Yeah, you get ahead on things. Yeah. And there were different points and stuff, internals, externals. Yeah.

It's your end of year exams or the ones you do throughout the year. Yeah. When are we, oh, we'd be, exams must be on the horizon as we've tapped It's your end of year exams or the ones you do throughout the year. Yeah. When are we? Exams must be on the horizon as we've tapped into October now. Maybe mock exams.

We used to do those. Yeah. Horrible. I know, but they didn't count for anything. So you've got to plan to help out. I've got to plan top six easy credits and passes for NCEA level students in different subjects. Like a favour for a favour. Or as we say in Latin quid pro quo.

Yeah. Nailed it that time. Squid squro squro. Squids go loco. Quid pro quo. Quid pro quo.

Okay, try to say quid pro quo six times real fast in a row. Quid pro quo. Quid pro quo. Quid pro quo. I think I'm Brum.

Quid pro quo. Brum brum brum. Quid pro quo. Quid pro quo. GoPro. GoPro. On your GoPro. GoPro hero 10. Same time, Brom. Good Crow Pro. Brom, Brom, Brom. Good Crow Pro. Good Crow Crow. GoPro. GoPro. On your GoPro. GoPro Hero 10.

Red Bull GoPro. Yeah. Squid GoPro. Well, that's the top six easy passes for NCA level students. And as you say, a little bit of squid, squirrel, blow. Blow. Back scratch. How about society?

Squid, squirrel, blow. You may have noticed that we've got a shortage in some of our public service areas. Yeah. Okay. Number six on the list. Well, they've fired everybody, Vaughn, haven't they? some of our public service areas. Number six on the list. They've fired everybody, Vaughan, haven't they? I know they have. Number six on the list. Let's get these students to be nurses.

I don't know what just automatic pass on everything. That wouldn't be easy though. They still need to know things. But if they help out around the wards, you'd give them a few credits and passes. The best learning is on the job learning. Yeah, I don't know if I want

some school student giving, you know, prodding around in there. Yeah, giving you your morphine. Yeah, I know. Trying to get a drip in or something. I just get them to squirt the morphine straight in my mouth. They can wipe my butt when I can't move. Yeah. I'm sure they'd love to do that. Empty my pan.

Yeah. That kind of stuff'd love to do that. Empty my pan. Yeah. That kind of stuff. Drain the catheter. Number five on the list of the top six easy passes for NCAA level students. Number five is be a teacher and teach yourself to pass. Because, you know, we've got this teacher shortage as well. Yeah, right. We've got a reliever shortage. We've got a teacher shortage.

Yeah. Teachers are not happy at the moment. Long time teachers are like, I don't think I'm going to finally get out of the game. David Seam was actually their favourite person at the moment. Teachers. I heard some teachers talking last weekend. They invited him to all the Friday drinks in the staff room.

Yeah. They're like, come on down and play pool in the staff room. Did your staff room have a pool table? I remember the day I founded the high school that there was a pool table in there. I was like, you're taking the piss. Scusi? Scusi moi?

Number four on the list of the top six easy passes for NCA level students. This is a collab between design and hard textiles. I'm talking your metal work. I'm talking your woodwork

as we used to call them. Made in pencil case. Design. Yeah. Great. Well, you're going to have to step up and if you want

an automatic pass, you've got to finish the Dunedin Hospital. Oh, wow. That's jumping up going to have to step up, and if you want an automatic pass, you've got to finish the Dunedin Hospital. Oh, wow. That's jumping up from a whale-shaped pencil case. Well, this is the thing we need you to step up. The good thing about early teens is their hands are still quite small, so they can get into all those hard-to-reach spots.

Yeah, right. Do those little niggly screws. Yeah, hospitals have a lot of those little niggly spots. Yeah, niggly little spots to get your hand in and stuff. Just to think, all we did at Woodwork was make a clock or a table and then making a hospital. Amazing. And getting a pass at the same time.

Yeah, pass, getting a hospital. Genius. Number three on the list of the top six easy passes for NCA level students. If you're struggling with soft textiles or sewing, as we used to call it, although there is a lot more to it, but we just used to call it sewing. Home ec. You get your picker.

Remember when you'd bugger up a stitch in your neck? You get your quick unpick, and you can pick all the gang patches off the leather jackets. Oh, yeah. That'd be great. Not banned. So when someone's seen out in public, they bring the jacket to you, you pick out the...

And you give them back the jacket. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, members of the mongrel mob, they're not going to be mean to a bloody 14-year-old young strapping lad coming over with his quick unpick. Yeah. So I'm just trying to get my credits. Yeah.

Maybe you can join the gang afterwards. Oh, yeah. Why not? Get a foot in the door. Get the patch. Yeah. Yeah. The you can join the gang afterwards. Oh, yeah, why not? Get a foot in the door. You got the patch. Yeah, yeah. The easy way.

Number two on the list of the top six easy passes for NCA students. This is for maths. You get issued a New Zealand police car and a radar gun, and you go out and you work out how far over the speed limit people are going, and you write them a ticket based on that difference, because there's a bit of maths there. Math difference because there's a bit of maths there. Maths. There's a bit of maths there.

Because most of the police have left the country to go to Australia and work where they get way better working conditions and way better pay and get to take their rank straight over there. Yeah. Does the radar gun, like, give you the number over the speed limit or do you actually have to do maths if you're a cop? Do you have to get out your quack-o-later? When I was once in the back of a police car,

well, let's not dive into that. I noticed they've got the thing on their dash and it just gave the full speed read. Like the full 112 or something. And if they ping you, because if they ping you while they're driving, it says their speed and your speed.

Is that right? Or how much faster than them you're going? I know a cop. I've got to ask him. Damien. Okay. Has he got nice arms, Damien? I haven't seen his arms.

We just talk about Lego, Land Rovers, Colombian Woman and Star Wars. Right. See, puppy. See, puppy. I'm going to ask him. I want a picture of the dash. I want a picture of his arms, just to have a good I'm going to ask him. I want a picture of the dash. I want a picture of his arms just to have a good look around.

And number one on the list. Oh, there's one left. Number one on the list of the top six easy passes for NCEA level students. If you're in art and you're struggling, you will get credits for making protest signs for pretty much number six through number two. Oh, you're great. Perfect. I can just

feel there's going to be a few more street marches. We're not united as a country on everything. It doesn't feel like it, not at the moment. Donate an especially feeling for you. No hospital thing. I've been watching the game and keeping up with that. You've been dicked over and I don't feel good about it and that's not great and you deserve better. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Gosh, this is taking me down memory lane. Ladies and gentlemen, if you are in your 30s, surely you'll remember them. Anybody above you will remember them. 20s, maybe not. Teens, get out of here. The Tooie billboard's back. Yeah, right. Yeah,ens. How long have they been away for? Get out of here. The Tooie billboards back.

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Wow. Yeah, right. When did they disappear? 2000 and I feel like 2010. Oh, no, 2016 was the very, very last one. Okay.

That was the very, very last one, but it got scaled right back. I feel like Tooie billboards would have been great during COVID. They would have had some crackers in there. Yeah. That Liz Gunn seems balanced. Yeah, right. Let's go to Hamilton for New Year. That's one of them. I was just Googling which one was the most complained

because people got their knickers. They got their panties. They got their undies. And a real twist about some of these. They did. And some of them were controversial. And some I don't think you could do now. Oh, some of them were super.

You would never do now. Sure, I've got ten minutes to talk about Jehovah. That's a good one. A lot of the time they were political or they were like commentary on the current government. They were always topical. My brother-in-law worked at Saatchi and Saatchi at the time they were political or they were like commentary on the current government. They were always topical. My brother-in-law worked at Saatchi and Saatchi at the time. And I think it was just expected of employees to come up with multiple a week. Right.

And you just put them out there and then the best ones made the billboard. Because it was always amazing how quickly they turned them around. Oh, yeah. It was the simplest format. You bought the billboard and all you changed was the white lettering. Yeah. And now with digital billboards, it'd be able to literally be up that day. Because you can see them on the original ones,

they would just black out the last one and go over the top. On some of them you can see like three or four sort of old ones blacked out. So it was in, okay, they had two of the most complained ads in 2008. Number one, it had 86 complaints to the ASA of the most complained ads in 2008. Number one, it had 86 complaints to the ASA, the Adversary Standards Authority. Let's take a moment this Christmas to think about Christ. Yeah, right.

And then number nine was sure I've got 10 minutes to talk about Jehovah. Wow. It's not piracy. I have the CD somewhere. Yeah, right. That's good. God, these are great. Yeah. I don't. I have the CD somewhere. Yeah, right? That's good. God, these are great. Yeah.

I don't mind paying for Auckland's roads. She clearly married dot com for his body was one. Oh, shit. Ruthless. Do you remember they had a book as well, right? Yeah, they did. Yeah, they put all of them in a book. That's right.

We scoffed at them at the time, but look at the phone we're having now. Oh, we're having a laugh. I always liked them. Let's go to Hamilton for New Year's. I always liked the ones that were more likely to get a complaint. Yeah, they're a bit more risk gain out there. But so they're back. Okay.

A whole new generation can experience them. But I hope they're not a watered down. Oh, they 100% will. I hope they better not not a watered down... Oh, they 100% will. I hope they better not be a watered down one, you know. It will be. It's 2024. What are they, you know, like... God, there used to be some ludicrous...

What was that? There was another one, and I'll say it without saying the last thing, but there was that billboard that was like, whakatane, whakapapa, something or other, somewhere to visit any,

W-H-A-K-A. Yeah. And everyone was like, you can't do that, because it was like insinuating saying the F word. Yeah. You just wouldn't do that stuff now. It says here that

some of the most complained about ones offended women, the gay and lesbian community, Christians, Maori and Tony Veach and David Bain. Wow, well we look forward to their return. I cannot wait. Play

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. If you haven't caught up, I've moved from the women's only small little gym upstairs at my gym to the big main floor. And yesterday I did my second workout downstairs with the big boys. It was quite fun. How were the big boys?

Big. Cool. Real nice. Nice and big. Yeah. Good. Good things to look at down there. It Real nice. Nice and big. Good. Good things to look at down there.

If I was saying that. Yeah, but you're not. Not on the mic. No, certainly not on the mic. Not while these lights are on. Not while that red light's on. Lights off amongst friends. Anyway, I've never noticed

this as a problem before. Why are we talking about it? Why are we talking about it? Why did you put it on your Instagram? You sent it to us and I was like, even that's a step too far for us. I didn't know we had a step too far. I know, I know.

It's good to find the line. And then I opened Instagram, she's put it on her story. Well, because you know me, I'm trying to be relatable. I'm the relatable woman. And literally someone messaged me and said, oh my God because you know me, I'm trying to be relatable. I'm the relatable woman. And literally someone messaged me and said,

oh my God, every experience in life is not unique to no one. She was like, I just thought I was the only person that this happened to. I was on this like row machine thing where you sit on a bench and then I like stood up in between sets. I like to stand up and stretch my legs, not just sit there on my phone because I feel judged. Yeah. And I stood up and what was left was just like

a sort of a round line, a line, sort of a crack mark. From your sweaty ass. A sweat crack mark. From your front bum and back bum. And it was sort of, yeah, it went like round the back tush. Front bum. Oh my god, I haven't

heard front bum for years. It went, but it did. Please never say that again. It was like an anchor shape from the back. It was like a double anchor. An anchor from the cheeks through the back bum and forward more towards moving towards the front bum. Like this perfect mark and I was like, how

sweaty is that situation? And I was like, oh my god, I looked around to make sure someone hadn't seen it. And I was like, oh my god. Oh, no one saw it. Better take a photo of it and put it on Instagram where thousands of people can see it. Because it was funny to me. It was really funny to me. And then every time I sat down, it would redo itself. So I came up with a little white method

where I'd do my workout in the pizzeh, and then before I got up, I'd sort of swivel the whole, the girls are nodding, I'd sort of swivel the whole tush to the side to give it a wipe. This is a thing, producers. It's a swivel and wipe. Oh, yeah, it's the scoop.

It's because as well I wasn't wearing like super good like workout clothes. I was wearing more like yoga shorts, which have not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The wicking. They were not wicking me. Oh, right. I wasn't being whipped. So the moisture has nowhere to go.

Yeah, so they're not really designed for sweaty workouts anymore. This also happens in summer. I'll do this in a restaurant. Oh, my God, same. You have to scoop off. Especially on a pleather, on a pleather seat. I'll always leave a little anchor. So you've got to do the old swivel and spin.

Right. And in a way sort of absorb your own. Have you never got up off a gym machine and seen your balls? What? How low are your balls? No, you sit on them when you sit down to do the machine. Wear some undies. I don't think it's an undies issue. It's not like you can't see

a fine picture perfect rendition, but you see the general shape of two testicles. You need to have better because you don't wear underwear. No, but everything I wear to the gym has a lining. Not like the tie balls are out of control. No, but you're really sweaty. You've been on the treadmill.

You've been going hard. You jump off. You sit down on that thing. You do a couple of bulldozers. You stand up and you look down and you can see like a artist's impression. That's exactly the same situation, but I don't have the balls. It's just the line. Yeah, I've seen my balls smeared on there.

Well, now. But I would seen my balls smeared on there. Yeah, well now. But I would never be like, pick a pic. Hey, Instagram, what are you looking at these sweaty balls? Like, that's madness. Oh, my God. Someone text in, it's got a name, but I can't say it on here. It's like a term. There's a term for this.

Something stamping. It's called clam stamping. Oh, you fool. And don't say it. Thank you for not saying it. You said that on air. That is disgusting. Clam stamping.

You said it too. You're allowed to say it now because you can say it. I can't say clam stamping. You did it. You did it. And here we are. That is just awful. Okay.

Try to laugh too hard now. I'm going to get an headache. I'm going to go I think I'll pop Or something Next on the show We're gonna We're gonna move away From clam stamping

He said it again Stop saying it We're gonna move away And we're gonna Argue And debate The coolest city In New Zealand

Because somebody Has made a claim Keen Keen for the claims On the text machine too Yeah Let us know now What is New Zealand's Coolest city Name it I'llen for the claims on the text machine too. Yeah, let us know now. What is New Zealand's coolest city? Name it.

I'll wait 100,000 and you can name it, text it. Name it and say why. Why is it the coolest? Oh yeah. We'll just name it. So the Christchurch Mayor, Phil Major, he has come out and said that he reckons Christchurch now, post quake, is a mini

Melbourne of sorts. You've got the art scene. You've got the shopping, the food, that beautiful Riverside Market. The food scene in Christchurch is, I would say, is maybe the best in New Zealand. I sort of want to fight you because that's my instinct and my cause to just go against anything you say. Yeah, it's perfect. That's what we're here for.

That's what we're here for. But you agree. It's hard to argue. It's home to one of our favourite restaurants. Everywhere you go. I know. Fifth Street. Fifth Street. Etc. Fifth Street and we go on. But the whole Riverside Market.

Oh my god, exquisite. As you say, exquisite. And the whole Riverside Market. Oh, my God. Corner you turn around there, there's some, as you say, exquisite num-nums. And the shopping's great, all in that area. It's a great city. I love Christchurch. Obviously, the mayor is going to say it's the coolest city. He's got to. He's the mayor.

You've got to. When you're the mayor, you've got to say that. But saying it is New Zealand's cheese used to say McDonald's is the coolest. He had to. Because he had to. He was contractually obliged. He'd been elected by Ronald, Brimis, Birdie.

That's right. Hamburglar. Was Hamburglar entitled to vote in the mayoral election given that he was a convicted criminal? Yeah. He was in prison. When he was in prison, he couldn't vote. No, no.

So he said it's the coolest city in New Zealand. It is Mini Melbourne. Mini Melbourne. And the reason this caught my attention is because historically, Wellington has been seen as little Mini Melbourne. But I reason this caught my attention is because historically Wellington has been seen as little Mini Melbourne. But I don't think, I think he's right. You can't call Wellington

cool anymore, dare I say it. Shut your pie hole New Plymouth. It's too dribbly. You're on Lambton Quay too much. These guys are always like, oh my god. God, it's a dribbly city, isn't it? Oh god, it's all so dribbly.

Because you're on Lambton Quay. There's no sun hitting Lambton Quay. No, there's not. But I'm not going to stand here and say that Courtney Place is a poppin' place, like it used to be when I lived there. But Cuba Street and down the waterfront and the suburbs. It is cool, yeah. It's such a cool city.

I love that place. All the breweries, I love it. I love it. So, anyway, we're going to do this debate about whether or not it's a cool city, because then you were like, New Plymouth's pretty cool. And I don't disagree. You love New Plymouth. You love when we go down.

It's definitely got cooler. It's got an art here. And that's the vibe that they're equating to the Melbourne scene, right? It's like the arty kind of music, culture, that kind of thing. And New Plymouth has that. Nelson also has that. I'll put a little bit in for Nelson. They've got like a full art scene down there.

Yeah, they always have. Anyway, I think we should have a little debate with our listeners because people are already texting in. Okay, go. Read out some messages. A lot of people are saying towns. You'll have to officially be a city to participate. No, I think just call this town slash city, right?

I think we're so small, everything's basically a town. It goes down to Gisborne, apparently. I've looked at a list of official New Zealand cities, but some cities are so big, like Auckland, they've got cities within cities. What makes you a city? Population.

It used to be a cathedral. If you had a cathedral, you could count yourself as a city. That's why there's all those massive old churches and what were small towns at the time because they were trying to boost themselves up. The first, don't text on your order.

I don't even know where that is. You're actually from, you're actually born there. But my consciousness and my soul was born in Wellington. The first text and we got New Plymouth,

the mountain, the ocean, the events, the parks, you can't beat it. Plus it's voted the most livable city for its population

in New Zealand. Someone said the roads are stuffed in Christchurch. We're not winning this on roads. Roads are a real big part of being in a city. Yeah. We live in Auckland. Crap roads.

To other foot boot thing, Christchurch. Hello, he's speaking. Is his brain and his squid grow grow. One of the most scooterable cities there are. Yeah. Because it's all flat. Bikeable because it's flat. the most scooterable cities there are. Yeah, because it's all flat. Bikeable because it's flat.

You don't need cars as much, bikes. That's the good thing about Wellington though, is like you never needed a car, you can walk around. Someone said Wellington is a sense of whimsy, simply not found anywhere else. Okay, explain whimsy. There's no whimsy in Wellington. There's whimsy in windy Wellington.

They took away the whimsy when they pulled the public sector to pieces. True. They said denied in a close second because it's small but in a cool, fun way. Rotorua third. So much to do. That's fair. So it's not that I've ever lived in any of these cities. That's fair.

So you're just calling it on a visit. So much to do in Rotorua, yes. But if you're paying like a tourist. You don't live in Rotorua, yes, but if you're paying like a tourist. You don't live in Rotorua and go like zip lining. This is the thing to call the city. It's like the livability, right? Someone said Palmy, but they haven't given a reason and so therefore we cannot accept it as a vote.

We're going to need a follow-up reason there, Palmy. Oh, we love this. I love just getting lost and driving around that square. Somebody has called Hawke's Bay the Florida of New Zealand. Yeah. Is that because old people retired there? I'd say Tauranga as well. A lot of old people retiring.

I think we forgot about Tauranga. I've got a lot of time for that city. Yeah, beautiful. Not Tauranga. Mount. The Mount. Yeah. But that.

Or like just anywhere along the coast. Yeah. That's included in the Tauranga City Council. Okay. It's hard to pick one, isn't it? Someone said Whanganui, and I do love that. Very arty as well. I haven't been to the giant pencil.

I haven't been to Whanganui, I don't think, ever. If you go, you should go. I've been once when I was a kid. They have the artist's open studios, because there's lots of sculptors and painters and stuff, and they do open studios. You do a walking tour, and you go into and painters and stuff and they do open studios. You do like a walking tour and you go into their studios

and see how they work. Really fun. Interesting. No one has said Morrinsville or Hamilton. No one said Hamilton because we're not, the gardens, full stop. No, you gotta pay for them.

I do. Yeah, Hamilton Gardens are great. Well, I know because I just borrowed my mum and dad's rates bill. Mum and dad, I could borrow your rates bill so I can go. Did you just admit on live nationwide radio to fraudulently obtaining an entry into the

Hamilton Gardens? Is this garden fraud? Correct. That's actually garden fraud? It's garden fraud. Yeah. Yeah. And that's six months in prison.

Is it? Garden fraud? Yeah. Visiting gardens on somebody else's rape. White collar or blue collar? Um. Oh, you'll be in a cushy one. Yeah.

There's sky. That sounds nice actually. They let you garden. Do they? Yeah. There's sky. Ironically. you'll be in a cushy one. Yeah. There's Sky. That sounds nice, actually. They let you garden. Do they? There's Sky. Ironically. Jesus, they can afford that in the... Yeah.

Jail system. Save some money there. Cut Sky. Someone said Christchurch. Definitely not. I've got handfuls of friends hit by cars on their bikes. When we did say the biking thing, also in the back of my mind was a lot of people do get hit on their bikes.

Do they? Yeah. Oh, I'm... Yeah. Sorry to hear that. Main issue with Christchurch is it's full of Cantabrians. A lot of people do get hit on their bikes. Do they? Yeah. Sorry to hear that. Main issue with Christchurch is it's full of Cantabrians. Yeah.

I didn't say it. I love all the shots fired by people like you. It's so good. Beta Street Hamilton is better than Cuba Street in Wellington. Oh, there you go. There is simply not a better street in the city, my friend. Maybe 10, 15, 20 years ago, Hayley. No, Cuba Street's gotten even better. I was like, Beta Street used to be where my friends bought their drugs.

Surely that's like... It is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It is. Okay, right. Well, it depends on what you're looking for. Are you looking for some crafty, fun goods and an apothecary?

Then you're heading to Cuba Street, Wellington. Yeah, or are you looking for a well-packed tinny for 20 bucks from the guy that you can definitely trust because he hasn't put fly spray in it? That's Beta Street, Melbourne. That's Beta Street Hamilton. Play ZM's Fletch Vornanalee. Play ZM.

I don't quite get how this works and why this has become a thing. So, as I mentioned, we've all had laser hair removal in lots of different areas between the three of us. And not once have I... I reckon we'd have the majority covered between the three of us. And not once... I reckon we'd have

the majority covered between the three of us. Yeah. I've done my face and not my chest. I like to leave that nice and bright. I have a nice and chest either.

Anyone that... Like a guy that got their chest lasered, that would be so painful. Yeah, it'd be a lot. I think it's too hairy. My chest is too hairy. Yeah.

Too many sessions. Then I've had all the intimate bits. You think it's too hairy. My chest is too hairy. Yeah. Too many sessions. Then I've had all the intimate bits. You've had the bottom half. I've had the backside, including hole. Yeah, I've had hole. And back and shoulders. I've had underarms. And my whole legs.

Did that hurt? You've had whole legs. My entire legs. Okay, we do have the majority of the body covered. Yeah, we're pretty covered. Well, the reason we're talking about this is because a woman was going to a routine, this was her fifth appointment

at a clinic that had recently rebranded. It had been taken over by an Australian company. Yeah. So it's the same salon she's gone to for all four treatments. This was her fifth. And she went in for the little thing, for the little chat beforehand

before they leave you to remove your clothing. What was she getting laser? Brazilian. Okay. So your full situation downstairs. And they said, oh, have you signed a new consent form because we're, you know,

newly branded? And she said, no, I haven't. She said, oh, here's the form. And then she fills in the form and she comes back. She's like, right, we'll just take the photos. And the woman's like,

I beg your pardon? Excusez-moi? Repétez-vous, s'il vous just take the photos. And the woman's like, I beg your pardon? Excusez-moi? Repétez-vous, s'il vous plaît? And it's the new policy is that they take before photos during the pros, like to track progress. But as we were mentioning, before you get lasered, you have to shave off all the hair that's there anyway. Yeah, I know because did you get photos? Yeah, they took photos off all the hair that's there anyway. Did you get photos? They took photos of my back when I got it done.

But I was like, what's the point? Because you can't see the hair. Yeah. It's not like you're going in before any treatments and being like, this is what it looks like. It would make sense if they took a photo when you started hairy. Then they got rid of the hair.

Then they lasered you. You gotta pay extra for a shave if you don't turn up shaved. But then the next time you go back, they take another photo. Again, you've already got rid of the hair. Like, what's there to see? I don't understand either. And so the woman, because she was getting a Brazilian, she's like, oh no, you're not taking photos of that.

Oh, right. And they were like, oh no, we'll just, you know, we'll put one of those little cover-up G-strings they give you and we'll just take the bikini line in the top bit. And she was like, no, I'm not comfortable with that. And so they made her put her clothes on and she went out to the reception area to talk to the manager and she was like, yeah, sorry, it's policy,

so we can't continue with you if you're not happy with doing that. And the woman who's written this article was like, am I the first person to say no to these photos? And they were like, yeah, everyone else hasn't had a problem with that. And the woman who's written this article was like, am I the first person to say no to these photos? And they were like, yeah. Everyone else hasn't had a problem with that. Because also, like, where are they putting, like, how secure are these photos? Like, these clinics are not like Apple or Google.

They're not like. I think this all the time. They have the highest security. It does stick to the Carl Fletcher rule of sending nudes. Face and Jenny's never in the same picture. No, I know, but I was saying this to Fletch before you gave this warning form. If ever there was to be a nude... Please don't talk before I get here.

No, we talk every day. We're here for a long time. Like, all this weird sitting in silence. I don't care, sit in silence. Sort of repent of sorts. I don't want us catching up in case you miss out. Silent prayer time. Yeah, well, now I'm on the back foot.

Well, I'll fill you in. But I was saying that if ever there was a situation, and I hope this never happens to me, but if there ever was a situation where a nude was leaked of me, I want it to be one where I was like... At one of these beauty places. No, no, if ever the internet was to get a nude of me, procure a nude of me,

I'd want it to be one that I'd take and where I was all like, mm, sexy. That you were happy with. Then I was like, what are the other nude photos on the internet of me other than ones that I to be one that I'd taken where I was all like, mm, sexy. That you were happy with. Then I was like, what are the other nude photos on the internet of me other than ones that I have consensually sent to people?

It's mole maps and you stand there naked going like this with your arms up and like sort of, you know, like. You look like you're doing that thing on the Japanese game show

where the shape's coming towards you. You've got to assume the shape to fit through it or you're knocked into the pool. And they take really up close photos of your skin moles. Like, that would be it. That would be it. Very vulnerable photos.

But aren't those, like, on an online... Yeah, okay. I know. You can log into your mole map. And see your... Log in and see your moles. See your little moles. And if you've got a mole on your bits,

they're going to take a photo of it. They're going to track it. They asked me if I had any moles. Same, and I just said no. Because I'm quite a freckly sort of a person. Yeah. And I said no. You didn't tell them about the mole on your... My penis mole. Yeah. They're notorious. If they cut out, I don't think there's going to be much left,

you know. I'll roll the dice on that one. I'm really playing with limited real estate as such. Leave it. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. There is a very funny Reddit thread about the weirdest rules that your parents gave you

while you were growing up. My parents were pretty like normal, I think. Yeah. I used to think they were strict, but looking back, I'm like, no, I think they were all right. Yeah. Firm but fair.

Firm but fair. Firm but fair. Firm but fair. Did your parents have any kind of weird rules for you? No, not that I can remember. Firm but fair. Firm but fair. Firm but fair. Give you a hiding if you're a little shitbags.

I don't remember any weird rules. Like, it all made sense. Like, what were some of the people on this Reddit thread saying? I don't know. I can't find it. I was sort of hoping that you wouldn't ask me. There's no funnier answer. Regardless of what is on that list, nothing will be funnier than that.

I was hoping that you just wouldn't ask me that. Colin has sent you through the link. I was searching through his emails. Boo! Boo for the link! Okay. Boo for the link! Wow. Here's some.

We would never... Honestly, it's the best policy. I mean, you could have padded and we wouldn't have known. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have said, well... She wouldn't have padded for what? She wouldn't have sent through the link. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I honestly think that's probably going to be my favourite part of the day. I loved it. You really warned that. You really warned it. It's got big... That's a big me energy there. Yeah, I know. Good work.

Welcome to the team. God, there's two of us now. Fletch, what are you going to do? Cry. I'm going to cry even more. The tide of ineptitude is lapping at your toes. Okay, here are some weird rules

that parents had. This is from the Reddit thread. Oh, you found some? I've had it up this whole toes. Okay, here are some weird rules that parents had. This is from the Reddit thread. Oh, you found some? I've had it up this whole time. Okay. We were never allowed to be alone. We had to be on our parents' side at all times and we were never allowed to go to the bathroom

without asking for permission until we were 18. That is insane. Why would you need to ask permission to go to the bathroom? I'd just pee on the floor and be like, there you go then, mom. Deal with that. I knew a family that ate dinner alphabetically. So, for example, they'd eat their asparagus, then their chicken, then their rice.

That's undiagnosed OCD or something on mum's behalf or dad's behalf. That's an undiagnosed thing. That's not, okay, that's odd. When we went to university, a friend of mine had to call his, this is uni, a friend of mine had to call his mother every day at 8pm to tell her what he'd done that day and what he was studying. If he was even 10 minutes late,

she would start calling non-stop until he picked up. I knew someone who at 19 was not allowed to drive on the highway. She had to go around all the back roads. I overheard a family, I gasped because they heard me saying the word no. The kids were like, oh, that's a bad word. We're not allowed to use the word no. Oh, my God.

Wild. Then they get into the real life in the workplace and someone tells them no and they have a breakdown. You've seen that video. It's made it to Instagram Reels, so you know it's good quality. You know it's good quality, yeah. It may have originated on TikTok, but it's found its feet to Instagram Reels so you know it's good quality it may have originated on TikTok but it's found its feet on Instagram Reels, that woman being like

she's not listening to me so rather than saying stop that with a loud voice I'm going to say and then there's a hard cut and people reenacting how their parents would have handled it I love the one where it's like the soft parent versus hard parent and it's the same video but it'll be like put that down

put that down and then the dad it'll be like, put that down, put that down, and then the dad in the background is like, put it down! That's what we do now. If they're not listening to me, I'm like, let them have it. It's good for them. Hey! Flick the Wi-Fi over the wall. Oh, my God, I was scared then.

Turned on. Scared a little bit. Daddy's voice. Yeah. Turned on. Scared a little bit. Turned on. Scared a little bit. Daddy's voice. I like it. So, okay, we thought this would be great to take some calls on. 0800-DARLS-AT-M-9696. Maybe looking back now you can see it was a weird rule that your parents had.

Yeah, totally. What were the weird rules that your parents had or that you had growing up? Maybe you weren't allowed TV. Maybe you weren't. At all. Also, someone messaged in saying, when you said that they ate alphabetically, their immediate thought was they'd animate first and then cull.

Oh, God, no, that'd be horrible. Yeah, around the plate. And then if you were Xander or Xanti. You're like, God, I'm hungry. Xanti. God, I'm always hungry. Xanti. Poor, starving little Xanti. They're like, God, I'm hungry. Xanti. God, I'm always hungry. Xanti. Poor starving little Xanti.

They're Zed born, they're last. Right? Your unborn child better not be called Xanti. Zoe, I would have gone for Zoe if you were going for Zed.

Zachary. Xanti, I'd spell with an X. Zebra. Yep. Zendaya. Xanti? Zendaya.

Zendaya. I'll wait a hundred and we want to take your calls now. You can text through 9696. What is the weirdest rule that your parents had when you were growing up? Vaughan's already chuckling. There was a big Reddit thread full of these.

I reckon our ones are better. Okay. Or is that just weird? Well, Kate's called up. Kate, what was the weird rule you had growing up? First long-term listener, first time caller. Yes. Kate, can you retrieve the bell? Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you so much. That's enough, please.

That's enough bell. I was, like, I've got a lot of siblings, and for some reason, my parents would have us, like, memorize poems on the weekends. Cool. That's not a weird thing to do, I swear. But, like, then you'd have to recite them at dinner. And if you didn't do it, you wouldn't get dessert. What?

Poems? Wait, what was he... Can you remember any poems now, Kate? Was there one that stuck with you all these years? No, there's not a single word. Like, I can remember, like, visually... Yeah. ...sitting there doing it.

And I can remember, like, seeing them at dinner and like sweating. Right. Why were you sweating? Performance anxiety in front of your siblings? Yeah, 100%. 100%. What was their aim here? What were they trying to create? Some kind of, you know, poet? I think it was go away and be quiet for an hour or two. Yeah, 100%. They were making love, my friend. They were getting down while you were learning poetry. That's why she had so many siblings. They were all obeying and more babies would come

because of the poetry slam. Kate, thank you. Rosie. We were also not allowed to talk at the dinner table. We were encouraged not to. Oh, really? Yeah, because you probably wouldn't shut up. Yeah, exactly.

Rosie, what was the weird rule you had as a kid? So growing up, when we would pull into petrol stations, my siblings and I would always ask, like treats, lollies and stuff. And one day mum told us it was illegal for kids to go inside petrol stations. They lied to you. They lied to you. Oh my God, that's genius. That's genius.

And we never asked again, but I confronted her a few years ago about it when I actually found out that it wasn't real, and she has no recollection of telling us. As a parent, Rosie, you are lying all the time. There's no way you can keep a catalogue of your little whites when you're, you know, the ones you tell your kids. How old were you? You said a couple of years ago.

Now, you don't sound too young. How old were you when you found out it wasn't legal for kids to go to school? No, I was about 20. We were doing like an assignment at uni about like lifespan development and like life your parents told you. And I was like, hmm, I might just ask. Yeah. 20, but you're allowed to drive at 15.

I mean, oh my God. You've got to, but you can't fill up the P. Yeah, but you've got to pay it pump. You've got to throw your money from the pump. Yeah, sorry. You've got to pay it pump. I at 15. I mean, oh my God. You've got to, but you can't fill up the P. Yeah, but you've got to pay a pump. You've got to throw your money from the pump. Yeah, I'm sorry. You've got to pay a pump. I'm 15. And there's like,

on the side of the pump, there's like a kid with a line for it. Yeah, because I don't want you pumping the actual gas in a child. It's illegal. Oh my God. That's brilliant. That's so good.

Rosie, thank you. Keep your tickets coming in. Just imagine Rosie driving past a petrol station and seeing a kid and just being like... No, the police are behind me. We'll get to more of your texts and calls next. The weird rules your parents had growing up. Weird.

Oh. Weird. Oh. We weren't allowed to watch The Simpsons. Oh, yeah, okay. I wasn't either as a child. As a young child. Yeah, I remember getting up

You know when it was still daylight And coming into the lounge And watching The Simpsons And me being like I'm not allowed to watch that My parents thought it was crap But on school camp once They put on The Simpsons movie

Oh my gosh I felt so naughty Oh So that Simpsons movie came out In like 2008, 2009 Yeah So you weren't like Hay Day Simpsons When it first came on It used to be on Friday night after Married With Children. Yeah, it was real late.

I tell you, one of them's aged significantly worse than the other. It's Married With Children. Yeah. My dad used to make us recite one of the times tables each night. You didn't know what one it was going to be until you sat down. Fingers crossed for the nines. I love the ones. Your favourite times table is definitely the nines. I love the ones. Your favourite times table

is definitely the ones. We weren't allowed to have any water or any other drink with our dinner because we'd fill ourselves up on water and not eat all the food. Oh. Kids are like, but it's

couscous mum. Worst carbohydrate. When I was young our family rule was whenever me and my sisters were watching TV and whenever our 13 or our 16 came on or if there was a minute, there was a kiss. Yeah. We had to leave the room. It was too late. You've got to see kisses.

You make it too, like, naughty. Yeah, you make it like a a Cause when you're a kid Yeah yeah yeah And you hound for it Yeah You know It's like swearing We were never allowed to swear

When we grew up And I love swearing now But I'll swear around my kids And they just know They aren't supposed to say it It's just normal Yeah yeah yeah It's just perhaps

Pick and choose Who you swear in front of And they just don't swear Did you used to go into your room And then be like Do you know I Got a tape Like like a cassette tape once on my radio. Yes, I remember this. And I recorded myself saying all the swear words I knew.

Yeah. And then I would use them in an example sentence. And then see how many I could string together. Yeah. And then my brother found the tape. He did not to authorities. When we were all in front of everyone everyone he walked up to the family stereo and he's like, I have something to play for the family.

And put the tape in. Shut it. And press play. Did he get a hiding as well? Nope. For being a narc? Nope. I got one.

That is such a narc. God, I got a big one. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Heyletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. We welcome to Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name, Claudia. Good morning. Good morning.

How are we today? Actually fine. Yeah, good. Good, good. Thank you, Claudia. Good. Now, Claudia, Vaughan is going to ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds

to try and guess her name. Am I correct in the spelling C-L-A-U-D-I-A or is it a K? It's a C. It's a C. No one spells it with a K. We had a German exchange student.

We had a German exchange student. That should be Claudia. Claudia. Claudia. Claudia that used to work here. Claudia. She was a Claudia. Yeah. Claudia. Claudia. She was Claudia. Claudia. Claudia that used to work here. Claudia. She was a Claudia. Yeah.

Claudia. Claudia. Okay, you're Claudia. Was the German exchange student a bit weird? Was she hot? Hairy. Weird. Not hairy.

Weird though. Weird. The Finnish exchange student was hot. Okay. Okay. That should go as no surprise. And her name was Tina, but it was spelled with an E on the end. I feel so sorry for an exchange student

who flies all the way around the world and then they go to Morrinsville. I know, with Vaughn in the next room being like... Excuse me? What was that face? We've got an exchange student. I think it was frowned upon for them to have any sort of relationships when they were here.

Wasn't that part of the AFS protocol? I don't know. Yeah, probably. Well, Claudia, let's get back to your mum. I hooked up with a Canadian exchange student. Did you? She was hot. Yeah, she was hot.

And Dad came home from milking the cows and she was swimming in the pool in her undies. And Dad was just like, what are we going to get on here? I think that was the first moment my father was ever genuinely proud of me. What have we got going on here? Because he called Brooksie. Brooksie, you're never going to guess what's in the pool. Can we get back on track?

Sorry, Claudia. Let's get back on track here. We've got a couple of pervy smiffs on our hands here. It's genetic. I can't help it. All right. We digress. We digress.

Jesus. We do. You know the tagline for the show, Laugh Out Later? It should just be, we digress. We do. Jesus. We do. You know the tagline for the show, Laugh Out Later? It should just be, we digress. Okay. First question about Claudia's mum. What is your mum's favourite flower? Oh.

Oh, gosh. Like, if you were going to buy mum a bunch of flowers. Oh, I'd buy her some lilies. Yeah, nice. Classic. Lovely. Chuck of pats on there. Patsy loves a lily.

Does she? Yeah. Also, just feel like Rose. Her name might be Rose because she wouldn't like roses if she was Rose. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, because it was too much haunting. You've had a great winning streak of Better Can't Guess Your Mum's Name this year, but you are questioning your psychic abilities.

You haven't done a hum. Oh, he needs to wee as well. I'm busting for a wee. Claudia, I don't know if that's too much information. Do you think that's going to affect the psychic abilities? Well, it might

because part of my brain is... Oh, sorry. It won't? Okay, fine. No, it'll make you a little bit more desperate. Yeah, desperate. Desperate to guess the name.

She likes her men desperate. Get out of the zone. Linda. Linda. Linda? You think Linda loves her? Yeah. Have you just got a notice on your watch? You got a message from the wife there.

Did she hear the exchange? She didn't banter. Oh, no. She loves that story. Oh, does she? Okay. No. She's just sent me a series of memes.

Okay. Oh, good. That's what our relationships come to, by the way. We only communicate through aggressive, passive-aggressive reels. Okay, oh good. That's what our relationships come to, by the way. We only communicate through aggressive, passive-aggressive reels. Okay, nice. That we see each other. My mum says those

to me all the time. Oh, yeah. She's a meme mum. Your mum's a reeler. Oh! Oh, yeah, she's big on reels. Yeah. Okay.

I never reply. I'm on TikTok. Put Karen down. You never reply because you're on TikTok. So Vaughn's an Instagram that's refined TikTok, they call it. Trish.

Trish, you reckon Trish loves one? Okay. Yeah. Trish loves a reel. You had Linda, didn't you? Yeah, I got Linda. Linda. I got Robin because my mother-in-law sends me reels.

She loves reels, yeah. My mum doesn't send reels. But put a Christine down because it's a good vintage. I reckon put a Christine down. Yeah, it's a good vintage. I've got a Kim down. Yeah, Kim. Tanya, put a Tanya down.

Tanya and Sharon's love a reel. Tanya. Tanya and Sharon love sitting reels. Joe, you got a Joe down there? Oh, my God. I literally turned my head to say Joe, and you said it. Did you see me write it down? I saw you write it down.

Oh, okay. Because as I wrote it down, you said it, and you're... I was about to say... Oh, my God. Is that the psychic? Anna. Oh, wow. Okay.

Okay, next question mum's age how old's mum she is she's 16 so she's 59 I knew it bloody lovely

I knew it do you think we'll ever be playing this game long enough that one day the mum's kind of really close to our age and we're like

I don't like this game anymore who's your mum oh god I think she's 47 she's ancient the mum's kind of really close to our age and we're like, I don't like this game anymore. Who was your mum? Oh, she's, I think she's 47. She's ancient. And I'll be like, game over. I broke the pen. I slammed the pen down.

I'm going to have to just draw with the ink shaft now. We've got... Do you like my red pen? Is raw doggy with an ink shaft? No, I'm not changing to a red pen. Are you crazy? It'll change the energy. It'll change the energy. Now, do you want the producers to bring you a new... Find them out the energy. Now, do you want the producers to bring you a new...

Buy them out of pen. Yeah, do you want the producers to bring you a new... I'm not changing pen. Shut up. Put them in a room. He's going to just use the ink shaft. Just going to use the ink shaft. Grip the ink shaft and carry on.

Now I'm going for only short names. I think this was a sign from God. Well, then it's not Eliza. It's not a long name. Liz. Hang on, ask her a question. Ask her a question. 60 gives a good

vintage. My mum's 64. She's a patsy. Carol? No, that's too old. Barbara. Mary. Helen. Barb's. Barb's, yeah. Barb's,line too long. Barbara. Mary. Helen. Barb's. Barb's, yeah.

Barb's, Helen. Barb. Okay, Mary. I think it's Helen. I've got a Kim. Jane. Oh, yeah, Jane. It's a classic.

It's not Kim. Last three numbers. You got a Kath? No, I don't. Put a Kath down. I like this short business. Kathy or Catherine. Okay.

What are the last three numbers of mum's phone number? Well, this will help. Why will this help? Really? Okay. 556. And what are the first six? What's mum's maiden name and then what's her first street she grew up on?

Okay, guys, we're getting into her Gmail. What's the sixth letter of the alphabet? Oh, my God, this is not a Gmail. What's the 16th letter of the alphabet? Oh, my God, this is not a thing. I don't know. I'm just going to have to really quickly Google 16th. Okay. 16th letter of the alphabet. It's P.

Okay. Okay. What's the 10th? It's five and five. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J. J. Okay, so 10. So it's either J or...

What did you say? What was 16th? P. P. Or 11th was K. Okay. Okay, I'm only now accepting names that start with J, P, or K. This is ridiculous.

I'm going to read out the ones I've got from here on out. We've got Joe. Got Joe on the list. What is mum's favourite band? Oh, gosh. Or just like what kind of music she's into. It doesn't have to be her favourite, but what's in her CD player? You know what?

The first one that springs to mind is U2. Oh, yeah, classic. Bono. Bono. Bono. Bono. Bono. She sent me a reel of Bono yesterday. Michelle. Maybe that's why.

She sent you a reel of Bono? Michelle's love U2. Michelle, yeah. Feels a bit young, though. Bono. Bono. Tina. Put down a Tina.

It doesn't start with J, P, or K. I think you've really stitched yourself there. You've stitched yourself. I've stitched myself, have I? Last question. Jane, Jude. June. Jude, June. Julie. You've got Julie.

I don't have Julie. Oh, Jeanette. Julie. Jeanette with a J. Yeah. What do you mean? That's how it's spelt. Why do they think it was spelt with a G? Jeanette What do you mean? That's how it's spelt. Why do they think it was spelt with a G? Ginnett. Ginnett. Ginnett.

You can spell Ginnett G-I-N-E-T-T-E but Ginnett is mostly always spelt with a J. I want a couple more P's. Pat. Pat. Pat.

Yeah, because I had Trish but I didn't have Pat. Pat. Paula. Patricia. Perennium. Perennium. I don't know anyone. No one Paula, Patricia, Perennium. Penea. I don't know anyone.

No one's mum's called Perennium. There probably is someone somewhere. Gooch. But with a J. A hard J. A dooch. A dooch. Okay.

Okay, last question. What are her siblings, what are your mum's siblings' names? So she's got Dean, Andy and Emma. Dean, Andy and Emma. Yeah, it's over vintage, isn't it? Yeah, great. Dean, Andy, Emma. Dean, Andy, Emma and Yeah, it's over vintage, isn't it? Yeah, great. Dean, Andy, Emma and Diane. I feel like those names are all quite youthful for that age though, aren't they?

That age group. Yeah. That age range. Emma was seven years younger than her. Okay. She was a happy miracle. Oh, Emma's the miracle baby. She knows she was an accident, doesn't she?

Yeah, but probably the favourite because they'd done all the other stuff and there was a bit of a gap and they could relax into parenting and they were, you know, getting on with it. They appreciate the baby because now the other babies are growing up and they're kind of having a midlife crisis because their daughter's turning 13 next year and has to go to high school.

You're right now. Okay. Okay, I'm ready. You're ready. Okay, well, Claudia Vaughan now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughan, your time starts now.

Rose, Patsy, Linda, Robin, Trish, Kim, Chris, Tanya, Sharon, Joe, Anna, Liz, Mary. That's my mum's name. Which one? Joe. Joe. It was a J. It started with J. That was the one I wrote down When he saw you two to say it

We all felt it at once And when Joe rhymes with Bo No I told you Wow, okay, well that means How about You laughed at the phone number It cemented the J

It cemented the J Wow Joe came in earlye moved through us all i think joe came in at mom's age being 60 yeah and then everything else cemented it beautiful bonus round while you're on the phone i'll have a go at guessing your dad's name well claudia you've won a hundred dollars that is locked in for bet i can guessing your dad's name. Well, Claudia, you've won $100. That is locked in for Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Joe is mum's name.

Now, Vaughan, you get one guess at dad's name. I reckon dad's name. Andy. No. Joe and Andy. No. It starts with J, P, or K. Kevin. Pete and Joe.

Pete and Joe. Kevin, Joe? Kevin and Joe. Kevin's on point for K. What about Terry, though? But you're only accepting. No, I'm not accepting. You're not even going to consider it?

I'm taking Joe and Paul. Joe and Paul. It's Joe and Paul. And we need Jason and Joe? It's not Jason and Joe, you stupid fool. It's not Jason and Joe. Are there many 60-year-old Jasons? Imagine if it's a little trick here.

It's Joe and Joe. Joseph and Joe. Joseph. Nah.-year-old Jasons? Imagine if it's a little trick here. It's Joe and Joe. Joseph and Joe. Joseph. Nah. Joe. Oh, you'll be told. No. Casual like that.

We need a J name. It's Vaughn's guess. It's Vaughn's pick. We need a J name, and then I'm going to do a magic trick to get... What's one of the letters? Okay, go. What do you reckon for the J? Jason.

No. I reckon it's got to be... It's Joe. Joe and Joe. What do you reckon for the J? Jason. No. I reckon it's got to be. It's Joe. Joe's. Joe and Joe. It could be Joe. It could be Joe. I'm feeling a Paul.

Okay. Or a Steve. Something like a Steve. Okay, now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm going to sign. Fletch, you. Which one do you want out of Kevin, Paul, and Joe?

Kevin. Okay, Kevin. You're on Kevin. Yep. Hayley. I'll take Roger. You're going to go Joe. Yep. I'm going to be Paul. Okay. Okay, now remember who you on Kevin. Yep. Hayley. I'll take Rojo. You're gonna go Joe. Yep. I'm gonna

be Paul. Okay. Okay, now remember who you were assigned. Wait, I've already forgotten. On the count of three, you were Kevin. Okay, Kevin. On the count of three, it's like Papers, Scissors, Rock, except we put out two or one fingers. Okay? Yep. And whoever's the odd one out, that's the one

we're going with. Okay. Okay. Are you ready? Because you've got your hands ready. Three. No. One, two, three. Okay, we all went two. Go again. One, two, three.

I'm the odd one out. Hayley's the one out. Who is it? Joe. Okay, Joe. It's not Joe and Joe. This is stupid. Claudia, is your dad's name Joe?

No, his name is Jay. It was a Jay. That's amazing. To be honest, Jay didn't even come up. It's not short for anything, it's just Jay. Short for Julian. Oh!

Okay. It was a J though. It was a J. Claudia, congratulations. You have won, I bet I can guess your mum's name, $100. Well done. Well done. I also think I've crossed over from pure psychic ability to a bit of numerology now.

Yeah, it's good. And the numbers were speaking to me there. Oh, my God. Play Zed In's Fleshborn and Hayley. It's time for... Fact of the Day. Day, day, day, day. It's time for Fact of the Day. There's a silly energy in this studio.

It's been around for at least a week. It's been lingering and it fades and then it comes back. Yeah. Like the toot I just accidentally did in the bathroom. You know what happened? I rushed to go to the toilet. I rushed there and I started weeing. And I don't know if women know this.

Does this happen to women? When you start weeing, sometimes a fart pops out. Like almost every time. Okay, perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are one. We are one. We are the same. We are unified.

Genders combined. And it started and it didn't stop And then it dipped And it came back So like someone In the cubicle Got the whole show Yeah yeah

Like that Wow Anyway We digress If we're on Hayley We digress Today's fact of the day Is sent in from

Ashley sent me this And she said My husband told me A story that involved a cloud and I thought you could use it for cloud week. I said thanks Ashley. At the end of the show Brad Olsen posted some cloud. Eight octas yesterday.

Eight octas, a cloud full of a sky full of cloud. Felt like it. Overcast. Eight octas. Official Brad Olsen reading on the sky. Today I can't see the whole sky so I dare not say it but there is some blue out there. There is some blue out there. Not much.

I'd say three. I'd say three, four. No, but you're looking over there different. Yeah, we've got a whole sort of sky. But that was my whole problem with the Octas is we're all looking at a different sky. Well, Ashley messaged me and she said, first of all,

I think you'd get on fantastic with my husband. He's always telling me long, boring stories about World War II. Okay. It sounds like they want to open up their relationship. Really? Yeah. Sort of a...

Hot. And she sits in the cuck chair while he tells me boring stories in front of her. Is that what the story is? Yeah, that's exactly it. Sit on the end of the bed. Sit on the end of the bed watching the History Channel and he's like,

I actually heard a really interesting story about this. Only you could make swinging boring. Yeah. I really could. I really could make it boring. Middle of it, I'm like, what are you doing after this?

Do you want to build Lego? He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got unbuilt Lego? Get out of here, woman. Get out of here. We're going to build some Lego. What you got?

Star Wars Lego. He's like, my man. That would actually be pretty cool. Yeah. Anyway're going to bring some Lego. What you got? Star Wars Lego. He's like, my man. That would actually be pretty cool. Yeah, must be. Anyway, it's like having friends. The day was the 26th of July, 1959. Lieutenant Colonel William Rankin is flying a plane.

It's a military plane. He is transporting an F-8 Crusader from a Navy base in Massachusetts to South Carolina. And they cut off without flying and they're like, Victor, Charlie, Charlie, we look to be approaching some rather nasty looking storm clouds at 13,000 metres. Roger. Roger that, Rankin. Rankin and Nolan, please to 14 and a half thousand metres To get above the storm cloud

Over They're cruising along So they're pulling up to 14 and a half thousand metres Up 14.5 kilometres Wow Up

At Yes up 0.28 mark Which is about A thousand kilometres an hour. Wow. They are humming. Humming, I believe is the military term for humming.

Gets to that altitude, cruising along. Now we're getting some engine noises. So Rankin's like, this isn't looking good. Nolan, on your wig. Power failure. May have to eject. Can't get anything to work. He's like, Power failure. May have to eject. Can't get anything to work. He's like, I'm going to have to eject.

He's like, I am so high. There's no oxygen up here. Trying to get over the storm. Yeah. Okay. To get over the storm, there's little to no oxygen up here. He did the quick maths in his head. How long it would take him to fall.

He'd have to hold his breath or run on like mini breaths. What if you let the plane fall first? Well, then he doesn't know if the plane's going to explode. So he's like, this is my training is I eject as soon as possible because that guarantees survival. Yeah, because I would go with the plane for a bit. So he then, well, you'd think, yeah, okay. He's like, I'm going to eject.

Pulls the lever. Yep. Breaks off in his hand. Far out. He is at that stage where you're like, this isn't good. I'm not wearing a pressure suit because we're just transporting these planes. I wasn't expecting an altitude this high. Of course.

The lever's broken off. The engine lights are all going. Yeah. It's not a check engine light either. It's like a full-blown bleep, bleep, bleep. Because sometimes those come on. I just think that's just to get you into the service centre. Yeah, totally.

I think it's a bit of a scam. Oh, 100%. You can ignore those. Well, when you're in a multi-million dollar jet in 1959, not the case. Right. So he then has to rely on the emergency ejection. He pulls both twin handles and it pops him out at 47,000 feet. The air was minus 50 degrees Celsius.

And on ejection, his glove ripped off. So he's got a bare hand. Minus 50 degrees. He then starts to fall straight into a storm cloud. The storm cloud that he went over to avoid. Cumulonominous storm cloud. It's like a big, proper lightning and thunder storm cloud, and he starts to fall through it. He's like, big, proper lightning and thunder storm cloud. And he starts to fall through it.

He's like, well, I'm probably not going to survive this. Yeah. This is all bad. Immediately, because of the decompression, his abdomen swelled out painfully, blood leaking from his eyes, his nose, his ears. Oh, my God. You're just about to die and you're putting on weight.

Oh, my God. How embarrassing. You go up a few sizes. After 10 seconds of free falling, he hits the top of that storm cloud. He enters that. The turbulent winds immediately start blowing him one way. He's not free-falling straight down anymore. He's kind of caught in the storm cloud.

He's got an altitude watch on that is going to automatically set off his parachute. But you know what? It didn't work. The pressure inside the cloud system was unpredictable and it thought it was close to the ground, so the parachute goes off just as it comes. Oh no, you don't want to be up that high. Oh no.

So this is what he's facing. He's facing hypothermia with his bare hand. He's getting frostbite on that bare hand. He's being asphyxiated, which means he can't breathe. Everything's going badly. And through some sheer miracle. Jesus's going badly. And through some sheer miracle. Jesus.

Probably Jesus. That's probably what he said. That's probably what he said when it was happening. Jesus Christ. I mean, you'd start praying round about this point, I reckon. I'd be praying to all of them, by the way. I wouldn't be holding back. Buddha would be getting a message. Ganesh is hearing from me. Allah would be getting a Ganesh, my man! Reach up here with your elephant trunk and grab me. Save me, Ganesh.

He survived. And to this day, he is the only human ever to go through a storm cloud and survive. Do they know why? Pure luck. Just luck. And Ganesh. Luck and Jesus. So he wrote a book about it called The Man Who Rode Thunder,

which may be the coolest title for a movie. That's cool. Great name. He died in movie. That's great. Great name. He died in 2009. Okay. Yeah. Oh, boy. Just a few days shy of what would have been

the 50th anniversary of the fall through the clouds that he survived that no one else has ever done and no one else has ever been through a storm cloud top to bottom. That fact and story is sent to us by Ashley's husband. Thank you, Ashley's husband. Thank you, Ashley's husband. Thank you, Ashley's husband. Thank you, Ashley's husband. And Ashley's husband.

Let's build some Lego. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do, do, do. Play. ZM. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I was contacted the other day on Instagram. Yeah. By Kate. Mm-hmm. And Kate said, hi, Vaughn, could you do P-N-I-N-S, a massive favour?

Could you do P-N-I-N-S? I immediately thought, could you do P-N-I-N-S, a massive favour? Now, penis is in capitals. And I was like, send sent us a short vid. Oh, I'll tell you. And I said, what's P-N-I-N-S? Yep. I 100% thought that said penis.

And she said, we get that all the time. Palmerston North Intermediate Normal School. Okay. Oh, okay. So it's the acronym for that. It's the acronym for that. Intermediate Normal. So it's Peninas.

Peninas. Palmerston North Intermediate Normal School. Also, why did they put an A in there and it would say Peninas? So what's a normal school? We've talked about this. Yeah, I can't remember. I know we have. It was a curriculum.

Yeah. They did a curriculum thing or something. Okay, right. It was something. It wasn't like we're normal and you're all weird. It wasn't that. Because I went to a weird school. Hey Vaughan, could you do PeninsN-I-N-S a massive favour?

Send us a short vid on what being brave means to you or encouraging your kids to be brave. It would be so cool to have a video to show the kids. Oh, that's cute. And I said anything. Why is she asking you? I'll do anything for the penis. Like, go and ask a firefighter, you know?

Or a police officer. Yeah, someone who's really brave. You know? What are you brave about? Or someone that's battled life adversity. I am a police officer. Yeah, someone who's really brave. You know? What are you brave about? Or someone that's battled life adversity. I am a white male. I've grown up very middle class.

I've never been hungry. I know brave. I've faced zero adversity. Yeah, exactly. So when you left your war-stricken place of birth. Tell me about the bravery that time. Mosavo, I believe it was. Yeah, yeah.

Mosavo, Moransville, Kosovo. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why I was asked. Okay, well, you've been asked. I'm an inspirational person. Immediately, I came up with a quote. Immediately.

Okay. Okay, now, hold on, I need to. And this is what you told. I don't want to balls it up. You told your wife. I said, ooh, I've been asked for a quote Did she laugh as well? She didn't really ask you for a quote

She asked you just how you're brave She didn't ask you for the rolling stone gathers no moss situation Oh, that's good Or my favourite personal quote Your excuses will destroy you and take everything that you ever wanted if you let them That was given to me by my

friend Carl Fletcher, to my left hand. So, anyway, if you two are finished. I'm just saying, you weren't actually really asked for a quote, you were asked for a small video just sort of chatting about bravery. A small, concise diatribe

of what bravery means to me. Okay, tell us what you... I came up with this. I said to Shada, I've got to come up with a quote. She ignored me. This is a lot. A lot of the times I'm talking out loud and I'm just talking to myself. She's sick of it.

That's lovely. It's beautiful. I've come up with a quote. And I came up with this quote almost immediately. And then I said it out loud. And that's when she started listening and she said, there's no way you came up with that. Where did you hear that from?

Okay. Bravery is believing you can when you think you can't. I've heard that before. You absolutely haven't. I've Googled it. It's never been on the internet. It just seems quite simple though, doesn't it? It just seems quite generic.

Like quite generic. No, it's beautiful in its simplicity. Say it again. Say it again. It is very simple. Bravery is believing you can when you think you can't. So you've got that, you're thinking about it and you're like, I don't think I can.

I feel like it feels plagiarized. It feels plagiarized. It feels plagiarized because it's so good. It's so good. Okay. It's got Nelson Mandela vibes. Doesn't it? Except from a white middle-aged.

Yeah, or Winston Churchill You can imagine you know he was in World War 2, she can't find it online She's about to have to eat her words because she did an acting degree And she can't come up with anything good like that on the spot No I'm just looking at other bravery Quotes

He who is brave is free, now I've heard that one many times That's beautiful That's Lucius Aeneas Seneca Well put Vaughan Alan Smith underneath that. Bravery is believing you can when you think you can't. Because you're like, it's contradictory. It's not when you think about it. Because you've got to believe in yourself.

We've all got those negative thoughts. What did they say? And positive beliefs. What did they say when you missed it? Kate loved it. Did she? Kate loved it. I she? Kate loved it. I said, should I send it here?

In a video, yeah. In a video. And she said, yeah. She's like, whoa. What a legend. Thanks so much. Okay. Bravery.

I mean, there's kind of a better one I've found. No, there won't be. It's whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. No, that's just thoughts. That's not believing. Negative thoughts, positive beliefs. No, that's the same thing. Whether you believe you can or you believe you can't, your mindset will dictate.

This is better. We'll make it right. Because it's shorter. Mine's shorter. That's good. It's really good. Give it to us one more time. It'd be nice to have some music.

Actually, it would be nice to have some music. What kind of music? Inspirational music. Just search brave. All I want is the word brave. Just search brave. Okay, I'll search for a song. The Brave Heart.

Song. What about Eye of the Tiger? Brave. No. Do you know how the search function works? Yeah. Well, it's not like Google. Okay, I've got motivational music.

Hit me. Okay, Fletch, you can try your... Oh, that is perfect, Ailey! Thank you. Imagery. I've got snowy mountainscapes. People climbing mountains.

Yeah, they're climbing the mountains. And then they look up to their right. Is that a horse? On the top of a mountain? What's it doing here? And it's white, like Shadowfax from Lord of the Rings. What's that on its back? It's a wizard. It's me as a wizard.

What are you doing up here? Being brave! That's what I say. What has bravery meant to you? Bravery is believing you can when you think you can't. Now it sounds like a bank ad.

No, I'm on a white horse. With home loans starting at just 5.78%. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action,

that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.