ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th December 2023

Episode Date: December 3, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Jared turns 30  Fletch's Pomegranate  Vaughan's Petty Theft  Vaughan & Jared's Night in the Clubs  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Welcome to the show, Fleshborn and Hayley. Two minutes past six. I've discovered a new lip balm. We both just lip balmed, didn't we?

Thick and nice. Good stuff. What kind of lip balm is it? Dr. Burt's? I've taken a happy pill, I've taken an anti-histi, and I've taken a, no, I've taken an antihisty. And I've taken a... No, it's called lanolips. Oh, lanolin. Lanolips.

Lanolips. Chuck in on my lanolips. A sheep product, isn't it? I imagine. Lanolin. Is it from wool? Lanolin? Is it the oil?

It's a sheep extract. It's a sheep essential oil. They squeeze the sheep. They squeeze the sheep, yeah. Oh, it doesn't say the ingredients on it. If it's got lano in the title, it's definitely got lano in it. Yeah, well. Smoothing.

Luster. Hydration. Lanolin. Lanolin. Lanolips. How was your weekend, guys? We spent it together. Great.

It was great. It was great. It was great. Two more weeks, listeners, of us harping on in your ears every morning. You went out to the club. I went to the club. You went to the club over the weekend. Listen, we need to discuss this during the show because that's a big... You don't go to the club. Huge move. You don't go out.

Tell you what, nothing much has changed in the club in the 15 years or 20 years since I've been there. Really? Yeah. There's still just the one, I assume. We only went to one club. Yeah, I don't know where the clubs are. I'm more of a bar or pub. You could point your right at one. Yeah, yeah.

Then the club. Coming up on the show, there, well, coming up, I've wanted to call my hairdresser to get her opinion on this, but it feels a bit rude. This early? This early in the morning. Maybe I'll send her a wee message.

We're going to find out what the hairdressers hate us doing when we visit them. Unrelatable for you guys. It's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while. But I go to a barber. Oh, yeah? Okay. So some of the rules might apply.

I think some of these will apply. Yeah. But next, a very sweet 10-year-old is running somewhat of a campaign against a particular emoji. Now, his name is Teddy. He's 10 years old. He lives in peppered Oxfordshire. Oxfordshire. Oxfordshire.

I'd love to live in a shire. Like Cambridge Shire. Well, you live in like West Auckland Shire. I do. West Auckland Shire. Do we have any New Zealand place names that end in shire? No. Cambridge Shire. Well, Cambridge in the UK is technically Cambridge Shire.

Isn't it? It's the shire of Cambridge. It's the shire of Cambridge. Well, we've got the shire. The list of New Zealand towns. The literal shire. We've got the best one. I can't believe we weren't invited.

Saw a bunch of celebs go down. I was invited. Oh, wow. Wild. That is crazy. Oh, yeah. Anyway. It was just a Thursday and a big long bus ride.

I love a Thursday. What, am I anti-Thursday? Ridiculous. Anyway, Teddy from Oxfordshire in the United Kingdom has started a campaign against Apple and their emoji, the nerd emoji. It's technically not their emoji, though, is it? It's Unicode, yeah.

It's everyone's emoji. He's sending his emails to the wrong people. He's been emailing Apple. They'll be throwing their hands up and being like, not my problem, Teddy from Oxfordshire. Now he wants this to be put in the bin, the emoji with the glasses and the two buck teeth because Teddy is

a boy with glasses. And does he have two buck teeth as well? Well, they're prominent. No, no, he's cute as a button, but no, he doesn't have buck teeth. It's not the two Well, they're prominent. They're prominent. No, no, he's cute as a button, but no, he doesn't have buck teeth. It's not the two from that photo. It's not the two that comes down.

He just looks like he's got a normal. They don't even look that prominent. No, he's got. What's his problem? He's just a glass. This stinks of a class assignment. Oh, you reckon? I reckon that they were doing something

and it may have even been something as simple as how to write a letter or persuasive writing. I reckon. It could have been how to... His teacher submitted it, not his mum, who probably said, shut up, Teddy.

His teacher submitted it and she's the one that all the media outlets and stuff have been talking about and talking to. So I reckon this was one of those persuasive writings that kind of struck a chord. So he has sort of posed a new thing. So he said they're making people think we're nerds and it's absolutely horrible. It makes me feel sad and upset. Anyone with glasses.

He's finding it offensive. Yeah, anyone with glasses He's finding it offensive Yeah Anyone with glasses And prominent teeth Well my experience With being at school Particularly And someone teasing you About something you didn't like Was to make a huge stand About it

Because then of course They would stop Or completely forget about it To draw more attention to it Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah right That definitely

Always famously works That's why I started My monobrow campaign At the age of 11 Right And that You know all girls Should be allowed The beginnings of a small Famously works. That's why I started my monobrow campaign at the age of 11. Right. And that all girls should be allowed the beginnings of a small tufty moustache. Gotcha. You know, that was the campaign I started.

And of course the kids stopped immediately, didn't they? And they never mentioned it again. Yeah. Of course they wouldn't. Because when you seriously approached a child and said, hey, what you're doing I don't like, and they were like, I'm very sorry. Stubbed it out. Yes.

Right then and there. Perfect. And it was just never a problem for me ever again. Not even in my adult life. Well, not until later. Did young children ask me why I had a moustache. Anyway, this is his campaign. He's proposed a slightly different look.

He still wants the glasses. He just wants the teeth gone. The glasses, a tight smile, and he wants to call it the genius. Oh. You're right yourself. He had me until then. Sorry, mate.

You're not Team Teddy? Calm down. Genius? Yeah. It's in New Zealand, or you've just got to mow it back down to earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard, isn't it?

Next on the show, hairdressers have gone viral. They've banded together to tell us the four things they hate when we do it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Thanks, you need to go to the hairdresser.

And so does Aaron. Man, his hair is so long at the moment and he says it's hot. I know the other day when I was around at your house you got a couple of pencils out of his head.

Yeah, he always has a pencil in his hair. He builds a pencil. Yeah, and he loses them and he starts like, going like this, he always has a pencil in his hair. He builds a pencil. Yeah, and he loses them and he like starts like, God, that's when he's got an idea

or something. What are you doing? Real bird's nest, that thing. He's looking for his pencil. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

it's really, it's a lot and when it's down, it's like well past his shoulders. I like it, but he says it's a pain in the butt. And curly too, so if you straighten that,

probably be halfway down his back by now. We've got a Jesus on our heads. Oh, we've got a full-blown Jesus. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I've been talking to my hairdresser and dear friend Shari about coming over and giving us both a trimmedy limb.

A little twofer one. A little twofer. Yeah. And I wonder if we will be guilty of any of these things because there's a hairdresser, Emily, Emily? That's not a name. That's something you shove up your bum almost.

Emily Pytel is a hairdresser and a TikToker, sharing the lives and the givings and livings of a hairdresser. She has given a list of four things that people hate, that hairdressers hate if you do them. Okay. One of which is turning up with really dirty hair. This would be the same for the bed. If you go for a bed trim, a dirty bed.

And you've got food in it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But they're going to wash it for me. If it's really gross. I think you do a pre-wash, right?

If it's really gross and you haven't done it for a while. She said, when a client comes to me with super dirty hair, just no. Yeah. Like, no, that's gross. That's really feral. We don't want to touch your dirty hair. It's also not good for your colour, as it doesn't take as well. Oh, yeah, because some colours you get a wash before you get a cut colour.

Yeah. Some colouring, they do it on dry hair. So if it's film, it's a bit ick. Okay. That's why she calls it an ick. Now, she said another thing she hates is when customers give her extended eye contact. Now, I wonder if that's in the bowl when you get in the wash. And you're looking up.

That's your only... Or in the mirror reflection. Yeah, true. But you're just looking at them. You're following them around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're watching. I don't know where to look.

I don't know where to look either. Because when you're getting a beard trim, you're back. Are you back? There's a. I don't know where to look either because when you're getting a beard trim, you're back. Are you back? There's a part where you go back and put your head up. Yeah. But would it be... Because when I'm getting my... You've been looking at the snips, right?

Or the trimmer. But then you'd be like... You try not to. Get your double chins going. Because I... Yeah, I don't know where I look. But not at them. They don't want you looking at them in the eyes.

But I'm like, do you close your eyes? You know when you go to the salon and get a basin trim and you close your eyes and you're like, that's too much as well. Yeah, because. I'm loving this. So you don't want to open your eyes and they've given you a terrible haircut.

Any hairdressers listening, please tell us, what is the correct position to place our eyes in? Clothes? Just not directly into the ears. I can't close them because I'm not off. Yeah, and then your jaw will fall open. I find it a very relaxing chair to sit in. Oh, my God.

Imagine doing that thing where you twitch and you're like... Yeah, I know. And you stab scissors into your... Exactly. You've got a pair of snips in the head. She said the third one really gets you. When you show up late to an appointment, already annoyed, have you got a coffee in your hand?

Oh my God, this is for anything in life. People that turn up late and they've got a coffee. It's like you had five minutes there. Well, a minimum. It just took longer than I thought. Minimum. Yeah. And she said, don't have one for us either.

Like, we would love to do that. I'd just rather you be on time. Yep. Sorry I'm late, but I got you a coffee. It's like, no, I would have rather you just turn up on time. And the last one was when you're in our chair and we turn our chair and the head looks back at the mirror. Please don't do that because there's a reason

we're turning your chair. So, you know, like, when you go in the other side and you're like... She's like, no. Don't do that. They're trying to turn your head. I'm trying to see the back through the mirror and you're like, ugh.

The other one my hairdresser hates is when you cross your legs because it puts your body on a slight tilt like that. It's going quite down there. So when you're trying to get a straight line, you're tilting like this and then you'll go like this and straighten your body and then the line's like, she's like, were you crossing your legs? He's like, well, now we're going shorter, babe.

Because you've got to even it out, now we're going shorter, babe. Now we're going shorter because you crossed your damn legs. So there you go. Don't stare your hairdresser in the eye. Don't bring them a coffee. Wash your damn dirty hair. Now,

this is a headline that I could tell the minute I saw it, I was like, there's more to this. But people will lap up the headline that Gen Z's are quitting vaping

and it's not for their own health. So immediately, like, what's it for? And then they cited one woman as an example for an entire generation. Of course. They're thorough, if anything. Which is another beautiful way to get a great news story with Gen Z in the headline. Yeah.

That this woman, she also vaped, but only disposable vapes. So not like your juice fillers. Is our Jared a juice filler? Are you a juice filler? He's a reusable. Are you ruining the planet? No, I'm a juice filler. He's a reusable.

Because that way, one day he can have grape, one day he can have candy floss, one day he can have buttered popcorn, one day he can have fireball. Fireball vape Fireball vape would be good A little fireball Not when you're hungover though

Because you could mix Cinnamon and whiskey Flavoured vape It is so wild to me They haven't banned All these flavours though Yeah it's pretty weird Like

And there's like Literally a vape shop Every hundred metres Yeah People from overseas Must just be like What's happening here It's wild

Is this part of your culture Yeah Is this a Maori thing You're like nope Not at all People from overseas must just be like, what's happening here? It's wild. Is this part of your culture? Is this a Maori thing? You're like, nope, not at all. It's a weird thing. So the reason that this one female speaking for an entire generation has decided to stop using disposable vapes, her go-to vape of choice, is because she's just decided to be a a warrior for the people of uh the democratic republic of congo sorry okay why is the link the link is there's other ways

you can be an advocate for the people's democrat democrat struggle democratic republic of congo yep uh is we're very rich in cobalt oh that's a very rich in cobalt. Oh, that's a mineral. Very rich in cobalt. It is a chemical element. Right. Yes. Yep.

And it's a battery, basically. It's one of the ingredients in a battery. Now, she's found out the horrendous working conditions of the people in the mine. She's surprised. Just realised. That mine workers, specifically African mine workers, are being somewhat mistreated. Right. Why?

They don't have a salary and a beautiful, they have dental insurance. No, they don't. Or a KiwiSaver or anything like that. Well, this is news to me as well. They might not even have weekends. What? Yeah, right.

I know. So she has found out that they are really living poorly and she said, I, being the heroic Gen Z that I am, will stop using this disposable vape. It wasn't the fact that it was bad for me or the environmental impact of what was going to happen with it afterwards when I just chucked it in the landfill.

It was... Congo. Yeah, it's the people of the Congo and I'm going to do this for them. Is she white? I feel, is she white? Yeah. And then she jumped straight on her phone. Yeah, I was going to do this for them. Is she white? I feel, is she white? Yeah. And then she jumped straight on her phone. Yeah, I was going to say.

And all of her other many, many devices that also rely on Kobo. Yeah, or any kind of thing. But she said, I don't get a new phone that often. Okay. Only every year with the new iPhone. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That was the vibe.

Right. It's got real white saviour written all over it, doesn't it? Yeah. And again, I will just reiterate, that was one person who put that online. Not an entire generation. What's that? Not an entire generation. No, no, no.

But she spoke for the generation that she was a part of. And she put a flag up and said, bit of a saviour going on over here, guys. I'm actually a bit of a legend. Yeah. And thus the problem was solved. I'm interested to see where this inspiration takes her, you know, how much further she's going to go

for the people of the Dominican Republic of Congo. Not the Dominican Republic. No, the Democratic Republic. Democratic. Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is in Central America. The Dominican Republic. Guys, it's too close.

It's too close. Yeah. There's also a Dominica as well. I know. Yeah, so. And the Dominican, oh my God. The demonic republic of, that's another one. There's the People's Republic.

There's the People's Republic. Confusing. Hey, well, thank you to this. One person. White saviour. Young Pacquiao. The world. Hey, well, thank you to this... One person. White saviour. Young, lucky guy. The world is saved, guys. They've shut down the mines.

No, no, no, no. They have. They've shut down the mines. No, don't shut down the mines. I still need my iPhone. No, they've shut them down because she said... My iPhone is quite flat.

I need to charge it. Well, you just plug that into the power. No mines required. Oh, sweet. Because you've already got it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan Ailey. No minds required. Oh, sweet. Because you've already got it. Silly Little Polls Today's Silly Little Poll. If you found $1,000 cash, what would you do? I would spend it.

Sort of a study of different states of America to find the most honest state. Yeah, overall they said that 47% of people would choose to keep the money if no one saw them picking it up. We didn't give that option, did we? So that's under half though. Yeah. Oh my god, I just absolutely would just keep it. What state won?

What state was the most honest? Oh, you don't know. I didn't read that far. Oh, please, read down. Surely it's the most, it's a headline that says the most honest state is. Well, people from Detroit, Memphis and New Orleans showed a tendency to pocket found money, like 62%. Right.

Okay. Memphis. Yeah. Memphis. I mean, Detroit and New Orleans have a sort of a lovable roguish nature to them. Yeah, totally. Jacksonville, Florida had the most, like, honest, 38% there. Only 38% would keep the money. Los Angeles, 61% say that they'd turn in.

Right. Yeah. Okay, well, we asked you, and 52% of you said alert the police and handed it in. 48% said keep it. As if. Come on. No if. Come on. No, you're not.

I voted keep it, but I feel like I would get too paranoid about the fact that it was a setup. Yeah. It's only $1,000. We're not talking about finding a big sack of money. In the 2000s and 2010s, what do you call that decade? The 2010s. The noughts and 2010s. What do you call that decade? The 2010s. The noughts and the tens. I would have been like,

this is a hidden reality show with cameras and a van. And in the now, in the 2020s, in the last wee while, I'd think this is a TikTok stunt. Yeah, TikTok stunt. So the first thing I go to is,

this is a trap. Unless it was $5. I'd be like, oh, that's fine. No, the question was $1,000 is it in 50s is it 20s rolled up if it's 20s rolled up I'm taking it

are you in the middle of nowhere no one's where am I yeah I'm taking it I'm taking it I'm probably still taking it I don't know

maybe I'm going to check I'm probably still taking it okay what if it's in a wallet with like a driver's license oh then oh handing that in handing that in but if it's just in an envelope

envelope or a bag or just oh, do we have $500 notes? No. We don't? No. Oh, okay. Hundies would be the biggest you could get it in. Ten 100s. So it'd be kind of like, yeah, it'd be just an envelope.

Little thin little. Little thin envelope. But if I saw on the community page, oh my God, I got cash out to pay a tradie who was doing me a deal, I'd be like, well, that'll teach you to pay cash. Block. Leave the group. I would alert the IRD. Yeah, I would say, yeah, you can have your money back.

And the IRD would like a word. Plus tax. Jay messaged in and replied to our silly little poll saying, look, by the time it gets to the police, maybe I only found 500. Taking a little cut. Taking a little cut. Taking a little pre. You shouldn't be like, hey, I found $300 on the ground. $40.

I found $40. Yeah, I found a $10 note. I've found a $2 coin. I've found a $0.50 coin. And I've alerted authorities. Juliet said, it totally depends on where you find it. If it's in the bush, I'm keeping it. If you're finding $1,000 in the bush, that's weird. That's drug money, eh? But it's in the bush I'm keeping it if you're finding a thousand dollars

in the bush that's weird that's drug money eh but in the shopping mall I'd hand it in I still voted for keep it though he he he Hayley said

there's a lot of cameras at the mall though yeah a lot yeah exactly calm as a bitch says Hayley that's all she said calm as a bitch

so what she said I'm not one of those people that's going to be looking over my shoulder thinking I'm getting my karma And it's just taking up a thousand dollars I never really believed in karma But then somebody once said to me

Do animals have karma? And I was like What do you mean? And they were like Well Is it just for humans? And are you just making yourself Feel special by

Saying We're worthy of karma But animals aren't? Like Or is karma the circle of life? I don't know. Karma's my boyfriend though. Yeah.

It is. Girls are pleased with that. That was good from you. Great Taylor Swift reference there. Thanks guys. Don't get me wrong, I don't keep the money but I have an internal

guilt complex that's a bully and I figure that I set a precedent when I found $400 as a broke-ass uni student and handed that in. Oh no.

Mal. Some deep-down Catholic guilt still rolling around there. Imagine how good uni would have been with $400. God, it would sort you out. Angela says, $1,000 ain't anything these days. Keep it.

She's not wrong with inflation the way it is. Yeah. Pete said, last time I checked, we're in a cost-of-living crisis. Because he lives. Because he loves to cry.

Not proud of this, but it depends on where you find it. In the street, somewhere with cameras, handed in, out on the beach where no one's around, I'm keeping it.

So basically people are only, they only have morals if they believe somebody's watching. I love that so much. Yeah. Take it and walk. If it's important, someone will come looking.

Losing it seems like a kind of them problem. That's their problem, not yours. Anything below $100 is fair game, but $1,000 is a kind of them problem That's their problem Not yours Anything below $100 is fair game But $1000 is a lot of money says Kerry Yeah Kanga says

Very unlikely that I'd keep it Giving it to the police is too much admin though So if it wasn't easy for me to hand it in To a business etc I'd probably just ignore it and leave it there But then also when you hand it in to a business You don't know they're going to do the moral thing Exactly Do you? You're handing it don't know they're going to do the moral thing.

Exactly. Do you? You're handing it over thinking that they're a better person. They could just keep it. They might not be. Dirty bag as well. Yeah. Someone just on Instagram. Yeah.

So not even on the FEH Instagram where we run our silly little polls. Please join us for voting on silly little poll every day. Someone just said that was found in a government house in the ceiling and it's like bags and bags and bags and bags of cash. Oh my god. In a government department building.

In a government, it was found in a government home in the ceiling. Like a state home. Well I don't know if that's what that means. Oh yeah right. Could be like drug money or something. Or like one of the houses that a government home in the ceiling. Like a state home? Well, I don't know if that's what that means. Oh, yeah, right. Could be like drug money or something. Or like one of the houses that a politician lives in. Oh.

Oh. If it was a house that a politician lives in. This is goths. We've got questions. This is juicy. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Gosh, we had some fun on the weekend.

Friday? Was it Friday, eh? Yeah fun on the weekend. Friday? Was it Friday? Yeah. We all congregated at my whare to christen the deck, the new deck. Great deck. Great deck. I was really worried about spilling stuff on it. I was also very concerned for the wood.

Yeah, and you had a table as well. Everything's fine. I was so worried. Next day it was dribbly and I just got a little soapy water and it was all good. Now we're all good. Right, because the deck hasn't been stained and protected yet because you've got to let it bleed. You've got to let it bleed, baby.

So everyone came over and we had a couple of drinky poos. Then we went out for dinner and then we went to the Cumeo Christmas Parade. Now this was my first time. Yes, also my first time. First time out there. Also I'd say

the first Christmas parade I've been to in forever. Right. Even though the largest one in the country steamrolls straight past your house. I leave my house. I actively avoid it. He hunkers down elsewhere. He's a Grinch. But you had fun. I leave my house. He actively avoids it. I actively avoid it. He hunkers down elsewhere. He's a Grinch.

But you had fun. Yeah. I did have fun. Like, so we left the restaurant we were at and just walked because we went nearby. And Vaughn decided to choose where we were going to sit. And I'll say it, everyone questioned you, didn't they? Well, yeah, because the road was shut, so I was like, let's sit in the middle of the road

because they turn at one part and go down another road. I was like, if we can't sit here, and the guy said, yeah, you can sit there, but you might have to move because one of the floats is going to have to go straight through. It can't make the turn. We sat on the bench. I was like, what the hell is that one going to be?

And it was a plane. It was a plane on a trailer. It was a plane on a trailer. It was good. So you chose the spot right at the end of the parade where all the floats and people would turn off. Yeah. And we were just like, I don't know about this spot,

but it ended up being all right, didn't it? It was a great spot. I know, because if we had moved earlier, we would have been behind people, whereas here we just had the run of the street. And Vorm, had you had little deck chairs. Yeah. Little deck chairs.

I bought my fold out chairs because I just, I, Shada was like, you can't take those, they take up too much room and people were going, I'm like,

no, I'm not standing for the whole time, I'm sitting. I'm a recliner. It actually looked incredible. Yeah, you guys had to sit on the curb. We sat on the curb.

You guys have all got hemorrhoids now from sitting on hot concrete. We sat on the curb, not my first time sitting on a curb. Right. It was fine. It was good. And then we just basically leapt to our feet

because it started off with the mass pipes and drums. Loved that. When I say mass, I think there was 12 of them. Yeah. And then bloody hell, it was good. And we were just loving it. Like some of them, because it's like a rural community, some of them were quite funny.

And we were really looking forward to seeing the home kill parade but this time no strung up reindeer No fake reindeer hanging from the home kill machine Do you reckon they had words too? They might have been told just to turn it down a little On that one stage someone tried to do a burnout and the lady told them off

She was like a little screechy It's been a bad week for West Auckland Santa parades and burnouts. Yes. She stopped there and we were like, oh. And then, I mean, we were having so much fun. There were some kids next to us that kept staring at us being like, calm down. Were those my children?

Because they said that a couple of times too. Well, they did want us to calm down a little bit, but no. We were excited. We were excited. I'd say for me, the highlight was the Air Force flyover. Yeah, that was so cool. Because where I live, we see them all the time because we're quite close to the Whenuapai Air Base.

Yeah. And we'll be driving along the motorway heading home and I'll always see them crossing over and they're always low, eh? And I'm always like, man, that's nifty. This was, it was like. They did a low flyover

of the whole parade route. Yes. They were hanging out waving, weren't they? Yeah. It was amazing. And then we kept turning around

and waiting for them to come back. They did it twice and then, you got a wave? I did. I waved to the guy in the helicopter.

I'm pretty sure he waved back. I'm pretty sure that was me. Pretty sure he eyeballed you and was like, fresh. Because the helicopter went over andaved back. I'm pretty sure that was me. Pretty sure he eyeballed you and was like, Fetch! Because the helicopter went over and came back and then the big Hercules went over. Yes.

And it looked like it was burning fuel, but I actually have inside word that was chemtrails. Right. They were inoculating us. Yeah, they were getting us. So we continue to, you know, just behave. I will say... Keep society in order.

Another highlight was the slightly older fireman who was wandering in our path. And our lovely friend James was like, and then you went up and was like, can you get a photo with you? And he got a photo with the hot fireman. I didn't get one. I was shy. Anyway, great work to the local QMU community. We absolutely loved it. See you again next year it see you again next year

see you again next year I think there might be an alcohol ban after this year nothing to do with me I was sipping from a pump bottle play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank this is the top six yes hello

and a very happy birthday for yesterday to producer Jared, who has officially entered his 30s. Happy birthday, Jared. Dirty 30s. Yeah, you celebrated with Jared and we'll talk soon on the show about you going up to the clubs. Honestly, Jared. This is incredible.

Tell us your ways. How did you do this? It's unbelievable. Vaughn never stays out. Yeah, honestly, I don't remember. Okay. Well, it was a milestone birthday, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a big one.

The big three O's. Yeah, really enjoyed myself, actually. I am going to do the top six a little bit different today. I am going to leave number one open to listener suggestion. Oh, I like this. little bit different today. I'm going to leave number one open to listener suggestion. Oh! So you can text message in the number one, because today's top six is the top six things Jared has to look forward to in his 30s. Now, if you're

in your 30s or have passed your 30s and something surprised you about your 30s, you can text it in to 9696. Now, the person that supplies the number one, which I will quickly scan through after number two. Will they win something? They'll win something.

What? Something. What have we got? Are you doing this because you haven't done... Correct. Haven't had time to do... That is also very correct. No, but we're also bringing in the people.

But also, sometimes after we do the top six, someone will just roguely message in one, and I'm like, that is easily the funniest. Well, maybe you should up your... Have you thought about upping your game? Eh, eh, eh. Well, this lately, I have been riding in the night before, but I was very tired, boy, yesterday.

You were tired. I was very tired, but I didn't get to bed until 4.30 in the morning. Jesus! I know, dude. No chemical enhancement required, apart from alcohol. Wow.

There was no drugs. That's insane. Because I don't do drugs. Hugs. I don't do hugs. You do... I don't do drugs. Hugs don't do hugs You do Hugs Hugs

Not hugs Not drugs Not hugs Not drugs And not snugs Wow You should get the t-shirt Bugs though

I quite like bugs Yeah bugs Not hugs Nor drugs Bugs not hugs Yeah okay So we've got the top six things Jared has to look forward to

In his thirties Number one spot Open to the best Listener submission On 9696 Text it in. Number six, rogue sore back. Rogue sore back. What did you do? Turn over. This back's really tight.

Tight at the bottom. Tight at the bottom. Hard to turn. Number five on the list of the top six things Jared has to look forward to in his 30s. Long, weird, where did you come from? Eyebrow hairs. Oh, have you had any of those yet, Jared? Yeah, Emma had to pull one out the other day because it was real white and long and curly and weird.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love getting errands. You got to trim, don't pluck, though, because you're just starting a world of pain. Oh, really? Okay.

Oh, did you pluck? Oh, yeah, just straight tweeds. Wait, but what happens if you pluck? You're just encouraging more growth. Oh, no. Yeah. Trim. There's some very funny user submissions of the top six.

Coming in. I lost my notes. Here they are. Number four on the list of the top six things Jared has to look forward to in his 30s. Saggy boobs. Yep. They'll all drop. Even the man boobs, they drop a little.

Gravity, Jared. Gravity. Oh, good. Fun. Yeah. Oh, and you'll start seeing more wrinkles in your genitals, but don't worry about that too much. Number three on the list. You can Botox

those, though. Oh, cool. I wouldn't. Your balls. You can Botox your balls. Then they'll always look shocked. You will never know if they're grumpy. Tight. Number three on the list of the top six things you've got to look forward to in your 30s

as producer Jared turns 30. Sight. One day your sight will just kind of be a little bit blurry. You'll be like, that's weird. Are my eyes dry? That's just your ocular deterioration and you're probably going to need glasses. Number two on the list of the top six things

Jared has to look forward to in his 30s. Hangovers last longer. But the good news is if you consistently drink through your look forward to in his 30s. Hangovers last longer, but the good news is if you consistently drink through your 30s, in your 40s, you don't get them. I don't know if that's a thing. I don't get them. I'm always tired,

but I don't get a hangover like I used to. Okay. Not like I used to. I'm definitely feeling an extended hangover today. Yeah, you are. You're groggy. Some remnants. All right.

We've got number one. You've got to pick one. Could you read out a few runners up? I could read out a few. We could decide on the number one. Okay.

The possible number one for the things Jared's got to look forward to in his 30s. He'll no longer be the target of gay men. 30 is the new 80 in the gay world.

Yeah, you're well. Gay dead's 25. You're definitely long dead. Being possible number one, being excited about vacuum cleaners. Oh, they are exciting. They are exciting. Yeah, we love a Dyson.

Scrolling back a little bit further to find your year of birth in online forms. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Imminent acid reflux. Oh, fun. Oh, my God. It just hits the flux, doesn't it?

Audibly groaning every time you get up from lying down. Yeah, I do that already. Yeah, you've got to roll out of it. You've got to roll out of it. Grey pubes. Yeah, grey pubes. Grey pubes. Do your pubes go grey?

I don't have any. I have Yeah right But none of them are grey Yeah okay It must happen Yeah okay It must happen Yeah I have friends

Because I'm starting to get some greys in my beard Yeah I have friends for sure that It was a big day when they found their first grey pube Yeah right okay Do you not have Do you not Are yours not grey? Piss off

Wait is this Is this being answered? Is your bush just full black stone? He dyes his bush. It's all full. Yeah, no, no. No greys at all. Full bush. Yeah, no.

Big bush though. Big, huge bush. Sometimes he'll raise his arms up and you can see it coming over the top of his head. Almost overflowing. He cut the finger off the rubber glove to put over the penis when he dyes it so that there's no residual staining. Okay, what you...

This is defamation. Okay? It's not. And you have to prove it. I can't win because I can't show you my pubes. I'll be straight up at HR. Yeah, exactly. No, no.

What are you going to do? Prove it. So you're going to take the L. You're just going to win on which one you're going to take. Damn it. Okay, Okay well what's winning Number one on the list Of the I think that he's gay dead

Yeah I think gay dead Gay dead Yeah So number one Number one The number one On today's top six Of the things Jared's

Got to look forward to In his 30s He'll no longer be The target of gay men As 30 is the new 80 In the gay world Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley

Well on Friday At the supermarket I saw pomegranates were like $3 something and I was like, oh my god. Exciting, because pomegranates, yum. The juice is yum. I love putting pomegranate into a Christmas salad because it adds a little

burst of red. And that's like the only time I've really... You buy them already out of the air. You can buy them, but they're really expensive just to buy the... Do you call them... They're like corn... I call them the seeds. Who knows what they are. Yeah. And so I've only ever really had them... It's an

absolute mystery. I mean, I'm sure we could Google and find out what they... Because they're not like little corn kernels. We don't know what they are. I'm Googling it. I've only ever really had them in a salad if I've been out somewhere. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to buy a pommie granite. Wow. You're a spicy boy.

A pommie granite. You know, eat as many fruit and vegetables as you can. But in what context? You were just going to eat the seeds as a snack? Yeah. Not put them into a salad or something? Or I was just going to put them in. I'd put them into a big container.

So I can add them to salads and eat them if I want. Oh, eat them willy-nilly. But, oh my God, have you ever opened one of these things? Gee, like, okay, so my- You don't know how to get them out. I cut the top off and I was like, interesting, and then just like peeled away at it. Did you not Google how to?

No, I didn't Google. I would always, if I'd never done it before and I opened it and I saw that, I'd be like, how do I do this? Obviously, when I got to work today, everybody had their own opinion on how I should do this and none of them before and I opened it and I saw that, I'd be like, how do I do this? Obviously, when I got to work today, everybody had their own opinion on how I should do this, and none of them were how I did it. So I was just basically picking away at it,

and then you just kind of push the seeds out into this container. And in the meantime, they were going all over the floor. I was standing on them in the kitchen. The juice was squirting all over my white benchtop. It stained it red. So I had to exit mold, bleach it out. It was all over my clothes.

I got a massive container of them. And then I was like, never again will I tango with a pomegranate. No, you can't. And our ones, the ones we get in New Zealand, they're so pithy.

Like there's so much white flesh. It's so, the first time I ever did it, I was like, the hell is this shit? Like, I just couldn't believe it. And then you were Googling a video. That guy did it so easy. Yeah, he, like, cut the top off and exposed it and then, like, slowly quartered it before cutting the bottom off and getting them out.

And then producer Shannon was like, oh, you're doing it underwater. It's like, where was this advice on Friday? This is the only way I've ever done it is you score it into almost quarters. Score it. Score the edges and then kind of rip it open in a bowl of water and just bonk the back of the skin with a spoon. And they just float. Yeah, and it just no staining.

But then aren't you sort of diluting the juice? No, because they're very contained. Yeah, it's in the little seeds. So the juice doesn't come out unless you, like, pierce... Pop them. Yeah, it's honestly game-changing. You'll never stain anything. You can clean it up.

It's too late. I'm not bothering. I'm sorry. They're on my blacklist now. I can't... I'm not doing that. Literally, it'll save you, like, $25, though. I know, because those...

When you buy the seeds individually, they're, like, seven or eight bucks. And they're always... You don't use the whole punner in a thing, and I'll the seeds individually, they're like seven or eight bucks. And they always, you don't use the whole punner in a thing. And I'll always be like, right, I'm making a salad. There's the pomegranate. I've got a bit left

and they'll go moulding. And that's it. And that's a $20 mould. Whereas in a single pomegranate, you probably get like four or five of those packets. Do you? There's so many in there.

So many in there. Yeah. I'm looking on how to propagate. How to grow pomegranate. You can grow it in New Zealand. Oh yeah. Don't bother to stain everything. They're on the blacklist. I bet the birds would love them.

Yeah, they would. It's like a little juice. It's like a juicy. The tuis and the ketidu would go crazy. Oh my god, remember when we were sitting on my deck and we saw a tui and three ketidu? That was good. Yeah.

Spoiled for choice for the native bird. Beautiful. Beautiful out there. The birds are coming back now that your noisy Renault's almost done. Yeah, I know. They're like... It's like the neighbourhood.

Jeepers, thank God. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Well, I have been talking for a while that I believe my vision is again failing me after 2007 laser eye surgery, just seeing things a little bit further away is getting a bit blurry. Yep. And so I went to the optometrist.

Okay. I went to Specsavers on Friday on the way home to get an eye test. And I wasn't wrong, but my eyes are good enough that I can legally drive without glasses still. Right. But they are starting to get a eye test. And I wasn't wrong, but I am, my eyes are good enough that I can legally drive without glasses still. Right. But they are starting to get a little bit. A bit worse. It was pretty nice when she did the whole,

and one or two, which is better, which is better. One or two. It always feels like a test that I'm failing. Yeah. Two. No. But then do they want you to say one? And three was, there was a couple of them where I was like,

I said to her, was three one? And she's like, no, three was three. I was like, but was three the same as one? Because I felt like three and one were the same. Yeah. And I feel like they are, it feels like they're tricking you. She was just straight away, you need the strongest glasses. She was like, you need these glasses.

And that was all good. And then I got to pick the frames and there was all these frames. And the lady was very kind. She said, would you like a hand? I said, well, yeah, usually if my wife was here, I'd just tell her to pick which ones. Yes, I'd pick Aaron's.

Look at them more than me. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, a hand would be lovely. And she said, oh, this is, you've got a wide face. I was like, bitch, I'm about to get one. And then she said, no, no, no, I didn't mean it. I just meant you can't wear these type. They're too thin for your face.

Yeah, you have a big fat face. What it always reminds me of is when my granddad would say to my nan, I don't have my glasses, can I borrow yours? And he'd put on these little old lady glasses and the wings would be stretched right out because he had a big wide man's head. Because I think I've got a slimmer head because whenever I put glasses on, they always look too ridiculous and big. man's head. Because I think I've got a slimmer head because whenever I put glasses on,

they always look too ridiculous and big. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I've just got a chiseled jaw structure, so whatever that means. Sort of a perfect face. Perfect face for glasses. I've got the ideal woman's face.

But she kept handing me more and more pairs of glasses. Yeah. So I had all of these glasses and then I whittled it down to like my final three and then it was like America's Got Talent. What style are you going? Are you going like vintage inspired or square? all of these glasses and then I whittled it down to like my final three and then it was like America's Got Talent. What style were you going? Were you going like vintage inspired or square?

I wanted to go the least, no, the least, like not like, hey, look at me, I've got wacky glasses. Like serial killer. Yeah. I'm not, I don't want to look, because when I was a kid and I had glasses, my mum always bought me just the cheapest ones because I was always breaking them and they were always those big ones that now are in fashion. Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer's. Yeah big ones that now are in fashion. Jeffrey Dahmer.

Yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer's. Yeah, right. I look like a young Jeffrey Dahmer. You don't want to hear that too often, do you? No, when I had glasses at school. No. Yeah. Yeah, so I just went for nondescript, not look at me,

not, wow, ask me about these glasses. Kind of like Ray-Bans. Nah. Would they be like, no? Just some square rectangles. Hard to describe. Okay. Some rectangular glass holding things.

And so I whittled it down, got my final pair, got it all, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Yeah. Walked back to the car and I was like, where are my keys? And I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a pair of glasses. Bored! That I had, obviously when I was getting handed them all. Yeah. And I put them in my pocket to be able to hold more,

and then I just forgot they were in my pocket, and I just walked out and they were in my pocket. Should have gone to Specsavers. Should have gone to Specsavers. That was not really a sight thing. It was more just sort of an awareness. Should have gone to Specsavers. I did go to Specsavers.

Yeah, but should have gone to Specsavers. Yeah, I did. I don't think it fits as well as you think it fits. I don't think it does at all. No, it fits perfectly. I know, I'm familiar with their marketing slogan. Because if you had glasses, you would have seen yourself put them in there. No, it wasn't that he didn't see it.

It wasn't that I didn't feel it. You guys aren't getting it. No, I get it. I think you're really crowbarring in the should have gone to Specsavers. No, you're not getting it. I get it. You're not getting it. I get it. You're not getting it. No, no, we're getting it.

It's just not. Because there's an ad. The word's not funny. It just doesn't apply here. It's nonsensical in this context. But he did go to Specsavers. Yeah, I did. And then I went back to Specsavers to tell them I'd accidentally pocketed a pair of $500 glasses.

What brand were they? Oh, Tom Ford. No, Tom Ford. Yeah, one of some flash ones. And then I realised why I put them in my pocket. Why? They were the ones that looked the best on me. Are they the ones that you got?

No, they're not the ones that I got. I can't play this one. Oh my God. But also, I think that was why I didn't want them because they had the name, some posh name on them. It might have been Tom. Somebody flash. Boy, Tom Ford glasses are really flash. No, I know, but I didn't want people to constantly be like,

oh, you've got to. No, they were Mike Jacobs. I was under them. One of those. One of those. A man's name that's also a fashion house. So you didn't get them because you thought they were too flashy. Because I didn't want people to be like, yeah, oh, he's flashy.

Here he is. But they literally looked the best. Yeah, I know. You sent us a little video saying, oh, my God, look what I just accidentally stole. And I is. But they literally looked the best. You sent us a little video saying, oh my God, look what I just accidentally stole. And I was like, they look great on you. Yeah, they did. Now you're going to turn out some dicky rectangles.

God, should have gone to Specsavers, am I right? Should have gone to Specsavers. I'm not 100% sure that applies here either. No, it doesn't work. I was just trying it out. Trying to see if with my charming delivery, if I could have sold the joke. It didn either. No, it doesn't work. I was just trying it out. Trying to see if with my charming delivery, if I could have sold the joke. No, it didn't work.

It just doesn't work. Right. Not in this case. What did they say when you went back and you were just like, I accidentally took these? Oh, she was like, oh, thank you.

I assume it must happen all the time. You didn't have to. Well, because you didn't have anywhere else to put them. Right. Because I just had my hands full and I must have been like, those are my favourite and put them in there,

but then should have gone to Specsavers. No. Is it still not? Not quite. Give. Because I just had my hands full and I must have been like, those are my favourite and put them in there, but then should have gone to Specsavers. No. Is it still not? Not quite. Give up, I reckon. Okay. Not quite. Give up on that.

I reckon. Next on the show. There has been. She's struggling reading the paper because. Should have gone to Specsavers. Should have gone to Specsavers. How often do you want to try this joke out? I reckon it's like we tried it.

I reckon it's kind of got a whole new meta level. If I do something where I confuse something for something visually, that's where you'd say, oh, God, should have gone to Specsavers. Not, you know. I think if you need to explain it to us, it's not working for you. Don't make it out like this is my job. You just spent five minutes trying to explain why putting something in your pocket. Stop gaslighting me.

Palm your joke off onto me. You actually can't argue. The minute somebody says, stop gaslighting me, you're not allowed to argue because you say, I'm not. And then that is gaslighting. You are literally gaslighting me right now. It's a very hard point to argue with. Stop gaslighting me. are literally gaslighting me right now. It's a very hard point to argue with. Stop gaslighting me.

I've been silenced. There's a couple that has been utterly roasted online. They're from the UK and they just got engaged, which is just, you know, a beautiful, beautiful moment, a moment to remember. The only thing is day in the middle of da club, day in the middle of a rowdy UK. Have you been to the clubs in the UK?

You know they are super doof-doof. Yeah, okay. Like neon lights, like crowded, sweaty, chubby blokes, all that. Yeah. And they're dancing along to a DJ set and he just gets down on one knee and proposes. And it's planned. But they might love,

like that might just be their love language. To clubs. To clubs. To clubs could be their love language. Love language. Yeah. So it's a place called Pop World and I just, having been clubbing in the UK a number of times,

I just recognise it. place called pop world and i just having been clubbing in the uk a number of times i just recognize it it is just dj sets tequila shots we're talking we're talking at all and uh yeah people are like this is uh completely lacking in romance but they've spoken out being like i had no idea it was super surprising which is one of the best elements of a proposal when you don't see it coming. You know, we were having a great night, had a fun time. It was my dream moment. And, you know, we're happy as. And everyone's sort of roasting them for being a bit trash.

But that's, I mean, it's what they want. It's what they like. So happy with it. It's an individual experience. What's it going to do with anybody else? Yeah. Well, we all know I was proposed to in the bedroom of a flat we were temporarily renting when Aaron was in his undies with a towel on his head.

Now, some people would say that's lacking in romance. So he just had a shower or was he in like a costume? He just had a shower. Okay. Yeah. Well, at least he had a shower first. Yeah, that's nice. We probably knew after he proposed that we were going to get married and have a little bit of a... All right. Okay. Yeah. Well, at least he had a shower first. Yeah, that's nice. We probably knew after he proposed that we were

going to have a little bit of a smooch. You know, he had a bit of a dirty boy. Anyway, I want to know because, you know, it is an individual experience. It is, and it's, you know, maybe it's not for everyone. I want to know if you were proposed to or

you proposed in a sort of unusual or unique location. Not your typical mountaintop with a view. Like at the top of the Eiffel Tower. No, that's very typical. Oh, okay. Sorry. You misread that situation.

Should have gone to Specsavers. That doesn't work for them. You misread it. Oh no, you've been sucked in. You've been sucked into this terrible joke. I would ask you to listen back to the previous 10 minutes of the show where you find the joke works. No, Con. Oh, no, the joke didn't work.

You kicked off this joke with just no wheels. If you didn't hear that, you should have gone to Bay Audiology. See, now we're kind of getting there. Now we're kind of where we're getting into the run. At least it's making sense at least. Yeah, yeah,'re kind of getting there. Now we're kind of where we're getting into the run. At least it's making sense at least. Yeah, yeah, because it's audio based. Which is the core of comedy. It's got to make sense.

No, but maybe it's just somewhere random, weird, unique, not a typical romantic location. Where was it? Where did you get proposed to? Play, ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We've asked you where was the unique or unusual spot where you were proposed to

or where you decided to propose because there is a couple in the a clupple in the UK who he proposed to her in the middle

of da club and they're getting roasted on the line for it. Middle of a nightclub so Chelsea whereabouts were you proposed to?

I was proposed to at my mum's wake, so that sort of after do of her funeral. I'm sorry. Dude! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry that your mother passed away,

but what was their timing? Why did they think that was a good idea? It was just a quarter mile, and he asked his mum, I think, how to make me happy on one workplace that I've experienced. And she said, why don't you propose to her? Why don't you make one of the worst days for the actress? So he then got, you know the wire off the top of a wine bottle? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He twisted one of them, got one of them out of the rubbish bin, twisted one of them up and got another one in. Was that endearing or was that annoying? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. It's a lot. It's a very emotional day.

As Hayley said, sorry to hear about your mum. That's an emotional, like, I would say, one of the most emotional days of your life. And he was like, I'm going to pile some more emotion on top of this. I'm going to try to balance the sad.

And that's not really how it works, is it? Can I ask, are you still married? No, we lasted 88 days. 88 days. So you did go through with the marriage but then after the marriage it was 88 days.

Yeah, I was there for about 18 months. 18 months and then 88 days 18 months and then 88 days right oh my god it's a wild ride Chelsea I'll say it was bold

it was bold it really was yeah especially it wasn't on the cards it wasn't like a ring had been purchased yep

it was I will reiterate a cork holder out of the bin flashing into a ring it's alright keep your texts coming in 9696 0800 Darls at Emerson number so many we'll get to more of those next we want to know a cork holder out of the bin. Fashion into a ring. That's right. Keep your texts coming in.

9696 0800. Darls. That's the number. So many. We'll get to more of those next. We want to know the unusual place where you were proposed to or where you proposed. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Where did you get proposed to that was a bit unusual is the question. Or where did you propose in an unusual location like the UK couple that got engaged

in the middle of the club. Which people are calling out as being that. People are. But hey, they both love him. They're happy, man. Yeah, and that's what matters, right? Exactly. Desiree, whereabouts were you proposed to?

Well, my partner put my ring in the fridge on top of a beer can and decided to ask me to please go and get him a beer. And yeah, like I said in my text, I should have read that one because I should have gone to Specsavers and read that one. Deezer is on board. That was a good one.

She's on board with using the joke not quite in the right circumstances. Close enough. I love that. Right, and so you saw the ring and you were just like, wow, it's on. Yeah, I was a bit confused at the time. But, yeah, at the end of the day, we decided to tie the knot. And pretty soon after that, you know, when you walk down the aisle

and you say, I'll alter him, it didn't work. Yeah, right. You didn't. It didn't last. Yeah. Pardon? And so the marriage didn't last. Oh, it didn't last at all. No, no, right. You didn't. It didn't last. Yeah. Pardon? See, the marriage didn't last. Oh, it didn't last at all.

No, no, no. So now I've got to get myself a glass of wine out of this, right? Yeah. Screw your beer. Get your own beer. I'm having a sav. Desiree, thank you.

Message is in. I just love this text. It's so wholesome. I propose that the funky pumpkin. We both love there and we both work there and we love fruit and vegetables. I've googled the Funky Pumpkin. It is Christchurch's favourite fruit

and vegetable store. Oh, I love that. I also just think this may have been a sly mention for the Funky Pumpkin. Oh, you know, it could have not happened and what they've done is they've slipped in a little mention for the Funky Pumpkin. Oh, I'm happy. I'm happy. I just like saying funky pumpkin because it feels like you could say it wrong.

Yeah, I know. And then get in trouble. A naughty swear word. He proposed to me over the phone because I found the ring. And I was like, look what I found. And he said, oh, yeah. Do you want to marry me? And 13 years later, we're still happily married.

If you found an engagement ring, would you just put it back and then wait? Or would you call it out? I would put it back and wait. Because you don't want to take that away from them. They've obviously got something up their sleeve. But then every time you go on a little nature walk, you'd be like, it's about to happen.

And then it doesn't happen. I know. Well, remember, I saw a large transaction. Oh, so you knew it was coming. Well, I knew he had purchased something of higher value than normal. And then we went to Thailand and then we came home. And I was like, what is going on? Yeah.

So I don't know. I wouldn't call it out. I wouldn't call it out. Amazing, because he must notice your large transactions all the time. Yeah, and be like, oh, she's preparing something, and then it just never comes his way. You never know. That wardrobe just gets bigger, doesn't it?

It just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Okay. My husband proposed in front of the house where we met. It was quite a beautiful outlook of Queenstown, slightly further up the hill, beautiful view. He was horrendously hungover and had been vomiting and proposed and would also just been fighting because we couldn't find the keys, still said yes. And that sounds like a present tense when she says husband,

not ex-husband. Okay, well, that's good. You know, that lasted. Proposed to via a note on the bottom of a letter to his ex about custody of his son that I was proofreading to his ex. Oh, what? My gosh. It was a custody and she was proofreading to his ex. Oh. The letter was to the ex. What? My gosh. It was a custody

and she was proofreading and the proposal was written at the bottom. Interesting. I wonder if it was written like thank you for proofreading, delete this later before sending

but will you marry me? Or he said like I'm going to marry this woman so I believe the... Yeah, might have been more like that. Yeah, that would be a bit more crafty.

Yeah. My friends got engaged at Rhythm and Vines. I reckon there will have been a few Rhythm and Vines-based engagements over the years. Yeah, 100%. Jade. Oh, I've hung up on Jade. That was going to be a great story, too. Did you push the wrong button?

I guess you could say you should have gone to Specsavers. No, that doesn't work. If you push the wrong button, I think this is probably the best use of the... This is literally it. You have no right to say this doesn't work. If she was on six and you pressed seven... No, because I pressed two buttons at the same time. So what's happened there is...

I don't know what... Because, you know, Spec Savers for your eyes, Triton Hearing for your ears, or Bay Audiology. I don't know what it is for your fingers. Touch, I don't know. Dexterity. Should have gone to Dexterity.com.

No. This is the worst show. I do really want to go to dexterity.com. I think people will find... I think when we get our Spotify wrapped for next year, this is going to be one of the biggest episodes. I think our numbers will have plummeted. Yeah.

In the comment section, it'll say it was the continuous mention of should have gone to the Specsavers that did it for me. I stopped listening to them. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. So it was producer Jared's 30th birthday on Saturday night,

and we went to a really cool bar where you play like board games and card games, and we played this one that's like the most inappropriate card game I've ever played. It was like Cards Against Humanity, except you got to pick between two options and then had to bet on what everybody else was going to choose out of two horrendous options.

Oh, God. How horrendous were the options? I can't say on the radio. I'm trying to think of one that we played that could be mentioning. What was it called? Did you take your clothes off? Pick your poison, eh? Yeah, pick your poison

the not safe for work edition. Oh, okay. I want that game. It was very much not, don't roll, don't be like, this will be a fun game

to play with my slightly conservative family. I wouldn't play it with my family. Right. And I wouldn't say we're a super conservative family. Right.

You think I could play it with my family? You could play it with your friends. Yeah. I might play it with my family? You could play it with your friends. Yeah. I might play it with my mother-in-law because she's a wild,

she's a loose girl, she's a live wire. But yeah, I don't know anybody else in my family I'd play with but Pick Your Poison was pretty like.

Right. Some of them I was like, I don't really even want to vote for either. Oh wow. Oh my God, really? Yeah, like really horrendous situations.

Well, it's not the kind of thing you have your friends recording while you're doing. Is this like a would you rather thing? It's a would you rather. But horrendous. Yeah, how did it work? Each round, we'd play at a table with all of us and we all have a turn at being the judge.

I'm having a lot. And you pick one card from your hand of five that's like a horrendous situation. And then everybody gives you one of theirs and you have to choose which one of theirs you're going to put up against yours. Now as a judge, you want it to be split. So people are like A or B. It's hard either way. Yeah. But then if you

are playing as not the judge, you can be like, I think I'm going to vote A. I'm so sure everybody else is going to. I'm also going to play my double down card. Right. Yeah. It was good. It was a really good, fun, fun, fun game.

But so, yeah, anyway, that and a few. And then we rolled the dice to see what shot we were going to get. And I rolled a one, which is the worst on a D20. And so mine was like a cheap tequila, a dice with 20 sides. And you roll it. And whatever number you roll is what shot you get. Right. And one's the worst. So I got this cheap tequila. And then he's like, it. And you roll it. And whatever number you roll is what shot you get. Right. And one's the worst.

So I got this cheap tequila and then he's like, and just before you drink it, squirted mayonnaise in there. Oh, mayonnaise and tequila kill. Oh my God. What are you doing? What is this? Oh, it's fun. Okay.

It was fun. So anyway. You must have had a big night because you were very excited, obviously. Well, then they're like, we're closing. And I was like, what time is it? And they're like, 11 o'clock. I said, goodness, it's bedtime. And then Jared's like, we're going to Danny Doolin's.

And I was like, I haven't been to Danny Doolin's in all honestly 20 years. When you said I'm going to the club, I didn't think you meant Danny Doolin's. Hang on. You've been posing this the whole time as a club. Danny Doolin's is a pub. Oh, yeah. It's a pub club. But it's still late for you.

You never go out. I thought you went to like a doof doof DJ not an Irish pub. Oh no, we went to go to one of them and they were like $70 to get in. I was like pfft. Oh yeah. What did you just say to me? How about zero? Yeah, nah, see you later man. Yeah, alright. So you went to Danny

Doolin's. I love a Danny Doolin's. Well Post Malone was there just last week, wasn't he? So, you know, I mean, obviously it's a great party spot. Yeah. The legend was loud. The legendary Danny Doolin. It was very loud. I can report they're still very loud.

Club's still very loud. Okay. Music's very loud. What else do you have to report? Because when was the last time you actually went to the club? So Emma, who is Jared's partner, her brothers were there, and I'm a new best friend. I walked in and James was wearing exactly the same jacket as me.

And I was like, I think I'm going to like this guy. And then we hit it off. So sorry, guys. That's okay. I've got a new best friend. They said to me, in all honesty, but they were young men, they were like, when was the last time you went out and I was like

to this sort of situation I was like I honestly couldn't tell you but it wouldn't have been in the last Indy my oldest is going to be 12 I have not

been anywhere like this since Shade was pregnant with Indy so over 12 years wow because I and I was very conscious that I was

remember when you'd go clubbing in your early 20s and there was always like an old dude yeah when you'd go clubbing in your early 20s and there was always like an old dude yeah and you're always like what's that guy's deal yeah

and maybe he might like sift through the dance floor so I just stood and then I was the other old guy stereotype I just kind of stood in the corner yeah right

okay how did you manage to stay out till this late I don't know I just think I was excited I'm really proud of you. I was excited.

And then I slipped down the stairs leaving. That was probably the oldest mate moment. But I bounced back real like a little bit of a result. Oh my God,

you're going to bruise this time. I was walking out with my friend Callum and he's like, shit, these stairs are slippery. And I was just like,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And everyone was like, are you all right? And I was like, I think I am all right. I don't think I'm broken. How do you think your new friends like that?

And it's because somebody apparently poured something on the stairs. Some guy was like, we just saw before some guy poured something on the stairs. I'm like, why would they pour it? And then I was looking around. So if some video hits TikTok and it's like, old guy falling down stairs and then they remix it. That was what all the Uber ride home I was at the counter was like, someone was recording that, eh? And he's like, I don't know, maybe. And I was like, it's going to be like that.

Old guy falls down stairs remix. And I was like, it's going to be like that old guy falls downstairs remix. And it'll be like. And then I'm going to be flying through space. You know, when that person fell on that thing. And then all of a sudden the whole video was them like flying through space. And you won't get any of those video dollars from that either. Maybe you'll be tacked on to the end of Phil Collins

in the air tonight. That's, yeah. It's a stranger for you and me. Ow! That's what I said. Well, still proud of you. Man, I was so tired yesterday.

Yeah, tired. That's what I said Well still proud Still proud of you Man I was so tired yesterday Yeah tired Tired boy I'm an internet to that So on the weekend I I went on a drive How long did it take It was like a 50 minute drive From where I live out

By Papakura From the deep The deepest north west to the deepest south. And I was going to pick up a light from the workshop out there. Right. And do you know when I arrived, they had a charcuterie and a glass of wine waiting for me? When I picked up this light?

How amazing was that? I'm here to get the light. Sure, have some cheese and wine. Is this what they offer all the customers? If they pick it up, yeah. If you make the effort to go out there. They make a charcuterie. Charcuterie.

Am I saying that right? Charcuterie. Charcuterie. Yeah. I know. And that's how you remember how to say it. Charcuterie. Charcuterie.

Charcuterie. Charcuterie. Charcuterie. Yeah, they do. It was a very bourgeois experience. I loved it. Oh, nice. But before I got there,

because we've been working really hard over the weekend, I was hungry and I didn't have time to get any lunch. And I was like, there's got to be a Nonald's nearby. Okay. So I like sort of saw where the house was and I was like, oh, I'll just quickly pop by and get me a little cheesy bee. Yeah. So I changed the thing in my Google Maps and it said that Nonald's was five minutes away. And I was like, perfect.

I'm barely going to be late. I said I'd arrive at two. Five to ten passes is going to be absolutely fine. Little did I know that yesterday, we talked earlier that we went to the QMU Christmas Parade. Yesterday was the Papakura Christmas Parade. Oh, it's so easy. They're happening everywhere.

They're everywhere. And it was really busy. And I was like, oh, man, I'm going to be a bit later than usual. And Google Maps hadn't changed my path. Oh, yeah. For all these, like, closed roads. Yeah. And I was like, oh, man.

And so I was doing all these little turns and diversions and stuff, you know, like, go this way. And I was like, this is taking too long. I want a cheesy bee and I want to pick up my light. Not knowing that a charcuterie was waiting for me. So I started taking my own path and somehow... Oh wait, you went against Google Maps? Yeah, well, no, Google Maps

was telling me to go the path of the Santa Parade. Then they had given me the diversion. Yep. But at least the Santa Parade way was open. You should have just gone in there. No, it wasn't. It wasn't, but Google Maps isn't... You want ways. W-A-Z-E is't, but Google Maps isn't. You want Waze.

W-A-Z-E is the app. Google Maps is good if you're walking somewhere, you're like whereabouts is, if you're in another city, whereabouts is the nearest. I know, but I'm in my way with that. Waze is good because it actively tracks people using it and what they're doing to track them.

But it uses, Google bought it out, so it uses Google Maps anyway though, doesn't it? But it has users on it. Waze is the first one and it feeds Google Maps. Well, I didn't use it and what happened was I couldn't go the way

it was telling me to. I didn't want to go the diversion way because everyone was going that way and I wanted to pick up my light so I was like,

I'll just figure out my own way looking at Google Maps. The absolute arrogance of you. Such arrogance. This is what, You know best. Comedian James Roke, who is of Filipino

descent, told me I have the whitest arrogance he's ever seen in his life. And I said, how? He says, when you cross the road, you step out and you just expect the cars to stop for you. But you're not wrong because they have stopped every time so far. And they stop every time. And he said, this is such a white

lady thing you've got here. I can't wait to visit you in hospital when a car doesn't stop and just say, see? Stop, I'm a white woman. Anyway, so I did this and I was like looking at the map and I was like, oh, I can figure this out. Somehow, I don't know how, I went in through a side street and then I was in the parade.

What was your theme? It was messy Mazda. Mazda axilla was my theme. The local Mazda dealer was like, not with us. Not with us. Nope. Not with us. That's not us.

I don't know how, but I was sort of, because it was 2 o'clock and I don't know what time the parade, but it was wrapping down. Yeah. And I sort of got into the tail end of the parade floats and cars and trucks and stuff that were like leaving. Yeah. But people were still like on the streets. You could have like reached behind your seat

into the passenger wheel well and thrown cold water surf out to the kids. That could have been my fame. Like snow. That's in there. I mean, I could have given away half a wardrobe. I could have chucked out clothes. Actually, a great way to get rid of all the rubbish

in the back seat of your car. Yeah, I've got pistachio shells still in my drink holder, I could have thrown those out. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I was... And then what, so you just had to crawl? Crawl at like five kilometres an hour, already late. On my way, I haven't even got my cheesy bee yet. Okay. Yeah, anyway.

So did you get the cheesy bee after you participated accidentally? Yeah, well I'd gone so far. Yeah. I wasn't going to turn around and not get a cheesy B. Anyway, so if you were at the Papakura in Auckland Christmas parade yesterday and you wondered what the theme of the grey Mazda Accela was, it was just Hayley and she was lost on her way for a cheesy B. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is the first day and I'm calling the world's most expensive dot, dot, dot week. Oh, okay. That's where we have a look at some calling the world's most expensive dot dot dot week. Oh, okay. That's where we have a look at some of the world's most expensive things in different categories. And today, the fact of the day is the world's most expensive gum, as in chewable, edible gum, is $113 New Zealand dollars for a pack of chuddy for 144 total pieces.

Oh. That's so much. That's so many pieces. Yeah. What do you get in a normal pack? 10, 12? I don't know. I don't buy gum.

No, I don't chew that. I don't buy gum. I'd sooner go a mint. Oh, yeah. Okay. Over a gum. What's gum? PK Wrigley's. That's your go-to? I'd sooner go a mint over a gum. What's gum?

PK Wrigley's. That's your go-to? I don't know. Extra. Wrigley makes extra chewing gum. Price NZ. My mum was a big airwaves woman. Used to blow you apart.

Yeah, they really cleared the sinuses, didn't they? Really opened up the sinus to a little roof. Yeah, they really cleared the sinuses, didn't they? Really opened up the sinus to a little... But a little packet wouldn't get more than like 10, right? 10 little pieces or something like that? Yeah, so this one's got 24 envelopes per box and there's 14 pieces of gum per envelope, and that's $73.

So you're getting hundreds of... Yeah. Hundreds and hundreds of pieces of Wrigley's Extra. So what makes this gum so expensive? It's called Mastica gum. I think it's called Mastica because of the art of chewing is known as mastication. To masticate is to chew. I don't know if you can say that on the radio. To chew is to masticate.

Well, it is because Mastica gum is an ancient gum. It's been around for literally thousands of years. But it comes from, it's a natural resin occurring in a tree that is only found on one island in Earth. Ooh. A Greek island of Chios. We're eating tree gum. Yeah.

Well, that's what original gum was. That's why it's called gum. I'm learning this now. Chewing gum is called chewing gum because the original chewing gum was tree gum. Tree gum. Yeah, from trees that, you know, produce fruit. So these trees are small and need to be 30 years old before they can be harvested for gum.

Right. And it's been used as like medicine, food, cosmetic ingredient for, you know, hundreds, thousands of years. So just a side note, producer Jarrah turned 30 at the weekend. Does he start gumming? He, if he was a mastic, if he was a tree of the pistachio linenskis. No, you pronounced that right. Is there any relation the pistachio linensk... No, you pronounced that right. Is there any relation to pistachio nuts? Is it a similar taste?

It's the same family of tree. Okay. I don't have a word on taste. It can only be harvested once every seven years and there's only 200 trees left on earth. So that's why it's so expensive. So you don't know what it tastes like because it wouldn't be worth it if it tasted yuck. Well, I've got some reviews here.

Would you like to read me some reviews on the website? Zahn B. said, good. That's a good review, isn't it? Don't bother reviewing if you're just going to write one word. Brian said, exceptional product. Well worth the price. Exceptional. Yeah.

That sounds like a fake review. Yeah. It does. I don't think I've ever popped in a piece of gum in my mouth and thought, that is exceptional. Mastic gum is extruded by the resin glands of these trees. At first, the flavor is bitter, but after some chewing, it releases a refreshing flavor similar to pine or cedar.

No, that's a smell. That's not a taste. Cedar smells nice. Yeah, I love the smell of cedar. Yeah, but it's not edible, is it? I'm not eating that. So today's most expensive gum you can buy at Massacre.store. They ship internationally, so the price I gave you before

certainly doesn't include shipping. And it's endorsed by the royal families of various European, you know those non-British European royals? Yeah. They're like, oh, I always forget. Cute. The Netherlands has a Queen. They're a big fan.

Someone in Amman, Jordan, just purchased 12 packs of 12 pieces. You know how websites tell you that somebody's purchasing it? Again, it's probably likely, very likely to be made up. But today's fact of the day is the world's most expensive gum will set you back roughly one New Zealand dollar apiece. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Yeah. They were on a Lufthansa flight.

I like Lufthansa. The German airline? The German airline. Yeah, I've flown on them once before. I don't know if I've ever been on a Lufthansa. Yes, it's nice. And the Germans say they... Experience the German hospitality aboard Lufthansa.

Always on time. Right. Most of the time. Well, this Lufthansa flight was flying from Munich, which is their main base, to Bangkok, one of my favourite places in the world. They were... What about St. Germany and Bangkok?

No, that's in Thailand, bro. Oh, God, I just thought it might have been one of those ones, you know. Oh, yeah, like there's multiple of them around the world. Multiple Bangkok's. No, there's no Bangkok in Germany. Well, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't believe there is, no. I don't know every place in Germany.

Flying from Munich to Bangkok, and it had to be diverted because a couple were having an epic fight on board. Well, they landed the plane in a whole different country because of a fight. They were throwing food, shouting at each other. Were they on their way to Bangkok for a holiday or on their way home to Bangkok where they lived? Oh, yeah, because that's not a great way to start.

Terrible start. No, they're German. The couple's German, so I can only assume they were either on holiday to Bangkok. At one point, the dude tried to burn a blanket using a lighter, shouting at his wife, didn't follow the instructions issued by the crew. I can see why they had to divert the plane if he was trying to start a fire on it. Grew increasingly, this is one of my favorite words of all time, belligerent.

And as a result, the crew could not get on top of it. The pilot chose to divert the flight to Delhi, to New Delhi in India. Oh my God. To get them the hell off that plane. Isn't that wild? I don't even know. I'm trying to get to the bottom

of what they were even arguing about. I want to say it. The guy sounds like a dick. Yeah. Sounds like booze is involved. Yeah. Feels boozy. That's not confirmed.

Certainly not an excuse, but you kind of look like what could cause it. Yeah. So they diverted the flight and, oh, interesting. So he's German. The wife is Thai. So I don't know if they're going home

because they've got one from each place. They didn't say that the wife was being unruly. I will just say, the unruliness seems to have come from the gentleman, the German gentleman and not the Thai wife. Anyway, offloaded a new deli. And then imagine that you're just in a mid-flight. All of a sudden you're in an Indian prison.

I know. How am I in India right now? How am I in India? And then you're on the flight. Maybe you wake up and you're like, what are we doing in New Delhi? We were meant to be landing in Bangkok. Oh, yeah, if you were asleep. Well, it sounds like they were making a real scene.

Right. You'd be really gutted to have missed that. Yeah, you would. If you were sleeping. I mean, I wouldn't be annoyed missed that. Yeah, you would. If you were sleeping. I mean, I wouldn't be annoyed. I've been to New Delhi. Lovely place as well. Anyway, I love seeing public arguments.

I love sitting at a cafe and hearing, don't talk to me like that. Don't you do that. Don't you talk to me like that. I love it. So I want to know, when you had a big public argument, maybe this has happened to you, and

you've been screaming down the street, where were you? Who saw? What if you've witnessed one? I'll take it. There's a ruckus one. I don't know if people are going to admit to, you know, it feels far more like something you'll 100% say. I saw.

What about that time you did? I don't want to talk about it. Yeah. Okay, I'll take that. When did you see a big argument in public? The pettier, the better too.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, 100%. Throwing of things would be great. Yeah, when did you just see a big tanty in public? A big tanty. A couple having an absolute tanty.

Yeah, same. Okay, 0800-DARLS-IT-EM-IS-OUR-NUMBER. Call us now. You can text her as well. 9696. When did you witness or partake in a public argument? We want to know if you've ever seen or even been a part of one of those embarrassing, ugly, loud public arguments.

Yeah, a whole flight had to be diverted to a whole other country. Because the husband and wife are having a big old argument. That somehow resulted in the husband trying to burn a blanket. We want to know if you've seen it. What did you see? Where did it happen? Some messages in. This literally happened to me and my girlfriend yesterday at Pack and Save.

We were having a quiet argument about nothing major, and I quietly said, you always fly off the handle at everything I do. Oh! And she said, what did you say? You're mumbling again. So I repeated it, but proceeded to say it very loudly down the chilled aisle at her. Silence for the rest of the shopping trip.

I would like to know if there's been a resolution there. I love when you see a couple like that arguing at a supermarket or somewhere public. It's so great. Also, I love, Sorry, what was that? You're mumbling again. Yeah. I said you always fly off the handle.

I love that. I had a fight with my husband over something stupid. Granted, I have a short fuse and it had been the week I was not doing sugar. We've all had one of those weeks. Your explanation has been accepted by the council. As I slammed the bedroom door, a picture frame of my husband and I fell off the wall and broke. In my rage, I kicked it. Two minutes later, I was reluctantly crying out to him to help

as the glass in the frame had split my little toe in half and I couldn't control the bleeding. I passed out and I smashed my head on the ground. If I was him, I would have been enjoying every moment as karma for being a crazy bitch over nothing, but he helped me like the gentleman he is. Oh. Sounds like a good man.

Let's get back here on the sugar. Let's get you back on the sugar. Let's get you a Snickers, hon. Get you a Snickers. We want to know when you have either been in or witnessed a very public argument because there was a couple that had an argument on a loft time to fly and got diverted to India as a result. Alana, you and your husband had a public argument.

Aye, yes, we did. First of all, first time caller. There it is. Fantastic. Welcome, Alana. Welcome. Thank you. I'm actually a little bit nervous. Don't be nervous. I would be. I would be. Thousands, if not millions of people are listening right now.

Oh my God, Alana. It's not making it easier, Vaughan. So where was this argument? Okay, so we're zooming along in the car just in suburbia, just driving along. So we're at the lights and we get into this disagreement about the kids pick up the following day, actually, and we were both committed for work.

And we're zooming along and it's getting more and more heated as we're going along and in the end um i someone come over me i don't know what and i threw my entire big tank smoothie over him and we were just driving in our new car i know and then it gets better it gets better so. So then, so we couldn't, obviously, he was, like, wild at this point. So I'm like, pull the car over. I'm getting out. This is it. So I get out of the car and start walking down the road, and I've got the key to the car in my handbag.

Oh, yes, you've got a keyless ignition. Yeah. So he goes zooming down the street at, like, great rate of knots to take off, and then he comes flying back, and he's like, give me the key, give me the key. So I grab the key out of my bag and absolutely just toss it as far as I can. And it ends up in this neighbour's, like, you know, in someone's front yard in the forest. Oh, you're having a proper meltdown.

Yeah, oh, I was having a full-blown tantrum in the middle of public. And then so I just walked away. And so he had to go and knock on the door and sort of ask for the key, covered in smoothie, and he managed to had to go and knock on the door and sort of ask for the key, covered in smoothie. And he managed to sort of go searching all through the garden and found the key eventually. And I sort of just went around the corner and heard and rung my mum and she come and picked me up.

I don't know if I would let a man covered in smoothie just forage around my yard. I'd be like, there's something going on here that's not quite right. Did he explain it? Like, oh, you may be wondering why I'm covered in a very bright orange juice. Absolutely. And I think, too, like, the people that own the house were like, are you all right?

Like, what on earth has just happened? Because he was still really angry. And, yeah, I think he probably really wanted to divorce me at that point. Who picked up the kids the next day? Actually, I don't remember. I actually don't remember. Where are we at now? How long ago was this?

Are we still together? Or is it, you know, how do we resolve this issue? Oh, we resolved that and I think we're about 17 years on. Oh, wow. Great. This was about maybe eight years ago.

It was really embarrassing though because the little kids were in the back seat and they were watching my big picture. Sometimes you just blow your top, you know, you just blow your top. I mean, that's why you just put your drink bottle down, Hayley. That's why it's dented, your drink bottle. That's why it's dented. That's why I had to replace my car radio.

It was a beautiful combination. See, that's worse than a smoothie. I know a kindred spirit when I hear one, Alana. We've got a fuse, a hot fuse. It makes us interesting. It's the hot fuse, eh? It's the hot fuse. I've managed to reign it in a bit because I was like,

okay, this is an ideal. But, yeah. Smoothie. I know it's Monday. Can I call her of a week, Alana? Just because I know it's Monday. Yeah, call her of a week, Alana. I'm piping hot yet delicious McCafe coffee in her partner's face.

I know, I do, I do. You're giving her ammunition. I am. Call her of the week. You won a $50 McCafe voucher. Thanks to her friends delicious McCafe coffee in a partner space. I know, I do, I do. You're giving her ammunition. I am. Caller of the week, you won a $50 McCafe voucher. Thanks to our friends at McCafe. Thank you, Alana. Oh, that's amazing, guys. Thank you very much.

And I'm not crazy. I promise I'm not crazy. That's what crazy people say. Alana, thank you. A couple of messages to finish. My partner and I got into an argument at the Coliseum in Rome. I find you argue a bit on holiday. Yeah, yeah.

Especially in Rome, it's hot, smelly. And if you've gone there and there's the jet lag, the time difference, everyone's a little tetchy maybe. Yeah. It's not all what you thought it was going to be. Sometimes you don't need that long to look around a museum again. Yeah. My partner and I got into an argument at the Colosseum in Rome

because I called him Cheeseballs. His last name is Cheeseman. I called him Cheeseballs. His last name is Cheeseman. I called him Cheeseballs. Now, I thought it was hilarious. He was feeling hot and sensitive. He did not. He's probably had that all his life. Yeah, it went on for hours.

Our friend said it was the funniest thing to watch but can't think of the Coliseum without thinking about our argument. Couldn't hold Cheeseballs, flipping his top. I guess you could say she misread the argument. Should have gone to Specsavers. No. No, that's not. I'm going to have to. I tried. That joke is 90 minutes in the making and it's not getting funnier.

After the show, I'm going to sit you both down and explain how the Specsavers joke works. I love when comedy requires a 40 minute meeting after the joke that died for 90 minutes straight in front of New Zealand. You explaining for us is like the blind leading the blind. And the blind should have gone to spec.

There you go. It's finally over. See you, see you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action,

that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast and then she tells all her friends and if you're listening

maybe give it five stars as well