ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th December 2024

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

The illfluencers trend The girls have turned into bug exterminators The top 6 Welly OP Shop $2 Kitten cuddles Why Christmas trees are expensive When did someone close to you steal from you? Morgan Penn IV SLP - Are you excited for squid game 2? Chrismissing Reveal Vaughan's Facebook memory Fact of the Day When did your parents get you out of trouble?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great Things Are Brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. The lovely Morgan Penn joins us on the show today.

Sexologist. How exciting. Sex life. Sex.life, the podcast. Indeed. Listen wherever you podcast. Two Seasons Up the Sleeve. We're going to talk to Morgan about... You know what they say about Two Seasons Up The Sleeve We're going to talk to Morgan about

You know what they say about Two Seasons Up The Sleeve What? Two in the sleeves with one in the bush That's not the saying That's so close to a saying Two birds in the bush, two birds in the hand Stop talking about bush And birds

Morgan's going to come in This may surprise you, we're going to talk about sex We're going to talk about sex. We're going to talk a little bit about sex. Christmas sex. I assume. Everything at this time of the year has a Christmas slant on it. I think we all collectively agree that there's one day in which we don't make love. And it's too full.

Too full. So we'll chat to our Morgan Penn sexologist around 7.30 on the show. Another chance for you to win as well today with JBL, our game Bluff or Stuff. Been giving away a whole bunch of goodies today. We've got a JBL Live 3 Beam. I see it's right here. Hang on, I'm picking up my little hands.

Oh, what's that? What does it do? They're just noise-cancelling earbuds, aren't they? Oh, lovely. But they've got a little screen on the front. You can put a photo. Oh, that's cute. Look.

I'd put my contact details. Oh, my God, Dad. Are you kidding me? I found a police call. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God, these are so cute. Yeah, so your chance to win.

Oh, my God. It's got a swippy screen. Around 730. Yeah, because you can control them from the case. I know, amazing, eh? Your chance to win these at around 730 on the show. The top six coming up. Yeah, the top six differences between our Christmas and America's Christmas.

Americans have watched a Christmas episode of Bluey where they're all wearing the crepe paper hats that you get out of crackers, and they've been so confused as to why people are wearing crepe paper crayons. Yeah, and it's summer. Yeah. They're just confused. They're all and all confused about the Christmas differences. So I've got the top six Christmas differences between up there and down here.

Can you wear those hats? Nah, they're too small. I bet they split, Dan. Yeah, they do at the back. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Well, we all know about influencers. You know, they can help you with fitness. They can help you with

renovations. I'm a reno influencer. Yeah, that's right. And people will be like, oh my god, what's that colour? I'll be like, oh my god, it's this. And they'll be like, oh my god, thank you so much. And I've influenced them to buy that green. Whereas if I was an interior influencer, it's this green. It's green. And they'll be like, oh my God, thank you so much. And I've influenced them to buy that green. Yeah.

Whereas if I was an interior influencer, it'd be white. Oh my God, what's that color? It's white. It's white. What kind of white? It's just sort of like white, white. What color is everything else? Gray or black.

Gray or black. Gray or black. Keep it simple. Yeah. Well, there is a rise now of what they're calling the ill-fluencers. Oh yeah. Now these are people that are racking up thousands and millions of views on TikTok and YouTube

with how to, some people are saying game the system. Yeah, work the system a bit. Work the system to get a sickness benefit or, you know, that kind of thing. And there's a big documentary coming out in the uk soon about this rise of influences because there's two sides to the story some people are like well this is great because i need a sickness benefit yeah and i needed to you know somebody know how to navigate the system yeah because it's you know there's a lot of you know hoops to jump through

yeah right prove that you need it that kind of thing and people like these people are good because they provide tips and and the other side of the. And people are like, these people are good because they provide tips. And the other side of the argument is people are now finding out how to just sit at home and get free money and take the piss. Because I mean, you'd say one of the most famous ill-fluencers, because I thought this was like, you know, influences that play off of their own illnesses. Or like poison their own kids. Have you seen, there's been a couple of news stories.

Munchausen syndrome. Yeah. I know. Make their kids sick on purpose so that like people give them money. I know. On like TikTok and stuff. Do you know Eminem's mum

who died yesterday, by the way? Did she? Eminem's mum died. Debbie. You know, the end of the song was like, F you, Debbie. The spaghetti did not keep her alive.

She, this, your mum's spaghetti. She was a Munchausen mum. Was she? Made him sick. Yeah, yeah. Crazy. She was 69 years old.

So Eminem's mum and my dad are the same sort of age. Nice. Nice. Can you say that about Eminem's toxic mother? No. No. I didn't know that. You're crazy, eh?

Really? Yeah, yeah. She was really Like not a good person Yeah But then Remember there was We talked about her

Because there's a movie Coming out About Belle Gibson Who was the Aussie Influencer Who was like I've got cancer And do all this

And give me money and stuff And didn't even have cancer No But these Influencers Helping other people Yeah So I mean

They're obviously Doing good for some people But then other people Are jumping. I mean, they're obviously doing good for some people but then other people are jumping on these ill fluences and are like, okay,

well, I can just pretend I've got a sore back or I don't know how they do it. Because how long can you stay on the sickness benefit

in New Zealand for? I honestly don't know how it works in New Zealand. It's case by case. Yeah. And it's good because people need it. Oh my God,

yeah. Absolutely. That's the catch 22, right? You need it. Oh my God, yeah. Absolutely. That's the catch-22, right? You need it. Otherwise, people who are very unfortunate through injury or illness don't have a support network. Well, that's who it's there for,

but then other people... Exactly, but other people learn how... There'll always be that, though. Yeah, yeah. Any time that the piss can be taken, the piss will be taken. And we say it about people on the sickness benefit or the ACC, but I tell you what, if people are dodging tax And we say it about people on the sickness benefit or the ACC,

but I tell you what, if people are dodging tax, they're just doing it at the other end of the spectrum. Yeah, well if you'd like, you've got an influencer code 10, Hayley10, and that will give you an extra 10% on your sickness. You just tell the government, code

Hayley10, and they'll give you 10% more. Yeah, nice. Yeah. That's so nice of you to do that. I'm actually surprised I can even work today. Right. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley.

Summer means bugs. Man, there are bugs. I got mauled last night by mosquitoes. Oh, did you? Watering me sunflowers. Watering sunshine. Watering me plants. Well, yesterday, mine, because I was doing a lot of cleaning yesterday. Watering me sunflowers. Watering sunshine. Watering me plants.

Well, yesterday mine, because I was doing a lot of cleaning yesterday, and mine was fly corpses. Do you know what I'm looking for at the moment? An elegant automatic fly spray dispenser. Okay, I don't have an elegant one, but I've got one with a remote control, which is good because I was the same. I was like, I'm not buying another cheap shit $10 one that just at the end of the summer, full batteries, full can of spray, its little arm that goes down.

It's like... You guys are sounding like boomers complaining about flies. No, this is the sound of the boomer complaining about flies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mama just walks around. Yeah, and a constant haze of black flags. She's like,

shut all the doors, turn on the air con, crank a can of lozery. Oh, my God. I just want something like classy and elegant. What, like a brass kind of... Yeah, like a brass

sort of automatic. Impossible. There's nothing. I went looking because I've always got those ones. That's why you've got to hide them somewhere. Yeah automatic. Impossible. There's nothing. I went looking because I've always got those ones. That's why you've got to hide them somewhere. Yeah, I know.

Like behind or up high on top of a carpet or something. Do you know my grandparents, my in-laws, sorry, they got their walls sprayed with a thing. That's one way. And the flies come in, they land on the walls and they die. But then what if you land on the walls? Yeah, I like to lick my walls. Sometimes I fall over and I land on the walls and they die. But then that's on your walls. What if you land on the walls? Yeah, what if I like to lick my walls? Sometimes I land on my walls.

Sometimes I fall over and I land on my walls. You could fall over and hit your wall and then that's it. That's it, you're dead too. And my tongue's like, ah, onto the wall. Yeah, dead. And I'm dead. And I just want to kill some flies. So I was sucking up fly corpses yesterday, right?

All the ones, always around the edge. Get them a little stick in there. Do they get in the rail of the sliding windows? Or the branch slider? Yes. You got to get your little thin nozzle on andhtick in there they get in the rail of the sliding windows or the branch slider yes you gotta get your little thin nozzle on and get it in there I had my thin nozzle on yesterday sucking these up and then as I was sucking up these corpses more flies were flying inside because we had all the doors open

so it was so hot in Auckland so I just had the skinny little head nozzle I just started sucking them raw dog into the hoover yeah I was just hoover. Yeah, I was just like, they were flying and I was following them with a stick and I sucked in a couple from the air.

Wow, like mid-flight. You're badass. Now you can slowly, painfully die in this canister. Could you imagine you get sucked up a giant whirly tube machine? Yeah, he's just flying along being like, I'm trying to find for... And he's just in there being like,

I can't get out of here. I can't get out of here. Why is there so much dust in here? Yeah, why is it so dusty? It was really sadistic. But if you think that's a bad way to die, as a bug, listen to what Shannon did yesterday,

who again was just trying to innocently unwrinkle some clothes. Wait, so what's your business idea? Well, hang on. Okay. So, Shannon. Yes. How did you kill a bug yesterday? Well, I on. Okay. So, Shannon. Yes. How did you kill a bug yesterday?

Well, I don't get flies in the apartment because they don't fly that high. Well, you know flies can't go past like five stories. No, exactly. Like we've never had a fly inside. Yesterday. What? First bug ever. Yeah, no.

It's the best part about living in an apartment because I'm eight floors up. Yeah, exactly. She's above five. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I'm ground floor, baby. I've never had a fly in the house, but yesterday a bug came in,

just a little, yeah. Describe it. We need to know what this was. That feels like a fly to me. No, no, no, no, no. Beetle. No, because, again, they can't go above me. Kind of like a fruit, yeah, like a sand fly, fruit fly,

just a little one. But I didn't see it. And you know how I burnt my carpet with my irons? She's trying to iron her little, yeah, her dress. Yeah. You guys said no more ironing. Stick to steaming. So I went to steam my outfit yesterday for Morgan's event, which was very exciting.

And I left my steamer on just go. You know how you can lock it in and just say go? Yeah. And I kind of walked away. I come back. You came back back I've steamed What? What are you laughing at?

She said I come back I said you came back She's seen what she's done Before the show Shannon's like There's this person online And they don't speak English Super good I was like better than you or worse? I love it person online and they don't speak English super good.

I was like, better than you or worse? I love it. Well, this little bug decided to go for a little bath, I guess, and he cooked himself

on my shirt. Oh, he sizzled himself. He was steamed onto my shirt and he like, left his little juices behind. So this is my,

this is my business idea for Shannon and I. Hayley and Shannon's creative bug extermination services. Yeah. We're like, you think we come in with our sprays and our poisons and stuff. We're in there with like steamers. Environmentally friendly. Yeah, we're steaming them to death.

Or we're just sucking them up raw dog into the hoover. All I need is some water and a power outlet. That's right. Wait, so it was on the steamer or on the shirt? On the shirt. On the shirt. It was so hot. It landed on the shirt and then the steamer was on it.

Oh, right. And he steamed himself. He steamed himself to death. That's an awful way to go. I did wonder why you had a bug mark on your... Yeah, it was on the back and then I tried to get it off and then I tried body oil yesterday. So there was glitter and I'm covered in glitter now.

It's a whole thing. So there was a glittery bug on my shirt last night. These bugs, eh? There's got to be a better solution. In fact, this could be a great business idea.

Right. Sorry about the extermination business I'm already off it. Right. I want to create really aesthetic, like really aesthetically pleasing

automatic fly spray dispensers. It's a great idea. It's a great idea because if you do that for people with the fashion homes. Yeah, for people with nice homes. Yeah.

Play. ZM. Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello there and welcome to the Top Six. US Bluey viewers, I think I would need to check again,

but I believe Bluey was the most watched per minute television show on Disney Plus around the world this year. Wow. I do believe. I've never seen a single episode. No, neither. But how much of the people that made Bluey made? Are they just bajillionaires?

I think they're doing okay. Yeah. The merch just keeps on coming. Bajillionaires, I think. Bajillionaires. Bajillionaires. Bajillionaires. Wowza.

Well, Americans are like, why this episode of Christmas? Yep. Why are they wearing those crowns? Because it's Australian made, isn't it? It's about a blue heeler dog, right? Yeah, Bluey is the main character. She's a six-year-old blue heeler. You'd love this as an adult.

It's so good. Don't you? Just as a parent, it's just so good. It's so genuine and so sweet. I loved Peppa Pig too when the kids were little. Yeah, Peppa Pig's great. That was our bluey. But I'll just watch blue by myself sometimes.

Because the episodes are short too as well. So if you don't want to get stuck, like sit down, watch lunch, just watch a couple episodes, about 15 minutes, and then get on with your day. Yeah. You can cram them in there. They're really good. So, Americans are confused as to why the Heeler family are

wearing these crowns. Well, I've found out that it's a British tradition. Okay. The festive crown got added to the Christmas cracker that was invented in the 1800s by a London confectioner. It was his son's idea to put more stuff in.

Yeah. And one of the things was a paper crown. According to the BBC, hat wearing can be traced back to an ancient Roman festival held in mid-December. And in the medieval era, medieval, the festive period from Christmas to the 12th night

was also seen as a time of misrule where the peasants and servants would be crowned as king or queen and made to preside over the holiday madcap celebrations. Right. So that's why somebody was picked to wear the crown. Right. But now we all just wear the paper crown at Christmas. I just

love it. It's so humbling. It's so stupid. It's hot. And it sticks. It rips on people like Vaughan or my brother. He's so stupid. It's hot and it sticks. And it rips on people like Vaughan or my brother. He's got a big fat head. Does your brother have a big fat head? He's quite a big head. Oh, okay. And Christmas

is those crepe paper hats and those little 24 slab of plastic drinks from the warehouse. Jolly drinks. Jolly drinks. Yeah. And they would only ever have them on Christmas. Yeah, yum. Yeah. We all do the sameinks. Yeah. And they would you only ever have them on Christmas. Yeah yum. Yeah.

We all do the same thing. That's Kiwi. Yeah. Well I've got the top six other Christmas differences between us down under and the US. I'm clumping us and Australia together.

Okay. When you flush the toilet after a mid Christmas meal poo to make more room for pud the water goes the other way around. Yeah it does.

It does. But it's so good making room for pud. Well that's universal that everybody all does. But it's so good making room for pud. Well, that's universal. That everybody all around the world makes a little bit of extra room for pud. Number five on the list of the top six Christmas differences between up there and down here. If you're at Christmas with someone called

Craig, they're called Craig, not Craig. Oh, that's my dad, isn't it? Yeah, he'd be called Craig Sprout. Craig, yep. Did you see Daniel Craig? No. He's probably most well-known for playing James Bond for so many films. He was on Stephen Colbert's show this week. Oh, yeah.

And he really had a go at him about calling him Daniel Craig. Did he? He's like, I am Daniel Craig. Yeah. It is my name, and this is how it's said. They can't handle it, eh? Some of the names. I don't know what it is about Craig and Craig.

I think it's the R, I think the vowel, they're just like, oh, I think your accent's doing that. You're like, no, no, it's a different word to the one you're saying. Because they would call Greg, Greg. Yeah. And then they call Craig, Craig. Craig. Craig and Greg are spelled different.

They both end in G, but that's it. Yeah. Well, if you've ever travelled to America, you know, they just struggle with even understanding us when we're speaking English. We're like aliens to them. Liberal, little liberal aliens. Little weird little aliens. Number four on the list of the top six Christmas differences between the US and down here.

In the US, while you're watching Christmas Day NFL, which blows my mind it's going to be streamed live on Netflix on Christmas Day. Wow. Like those people who play have to play their sport on Christmas and not get to spend it with their family. Sucky. Yeah. We're watching Boxing Day, because we're already on Boxing Day by the time they get to Christmas.

Cricket. Boxing Day, test cricket. Most years, not this year, Sri Lanka arrive on the 28th. I had to Google that. Okay, good. Right. I had to Google that. Thank you.

Number three on the list of the top six Christmas differences between NZ and US. We're going to spend a the list of the top six Christmas differences between NZ and US. We're going to spend a large part of the day with no shoes on. Yeah. All of it. Yeah. All of it, actually. We wake up and then we'll sort of get to the end of the day

and be like, we just never left. I have to put shoes on when going outside tending to the barbecue because the concrete might be real hot. It'll be real hot. The concrete at mum and dad's gets pretty hot. And the deck at our place gets pretty hot. So that's the only time I'll probably put shoes on. They'll be real hot. Conquering mum and dad's gets pretty hot. And the deck at our place gets pretty hot. So that's the only time I'll probably put shoes on

and they'll be Crocs. No doubt. How good is summer and Christmas and summer? That's the best. It rules. Number two on the list of the top six

other Christmas differences between the US and the NZ. When you're travelling from one Christmas meal to another, we drive on the other side of the road.

Yeah, we do. And kilometres too. And kilometres. Yeah, which is faster. Like the rest of the world. Yeah, we do. In kilometres too. In kilometres. Yeah, which is faster. Like the rest of the world. Yeah. Get on board with the metric system. Dude. It makes so much more sense. Yeah. It does.

Not only the metric system, what do they call their version of the temperature? Because water freezes at zero and boils at 100. The Fahrenheit system's wacky. Yeah. Is that an imperial system 100. The Fahrenheit system's wacky. Is that an imperial system as well? That's a wacky system. Get on board.

Honestly. Get on board. And one litre of water is one kilogram. That's the easiest thing. Get on board. And number one on the list of the top six other Christmas differences between NZ and the US. Probably no guns at Christmas. Actually, that's not always true.

Go hunting. We did some Christmas hunting. Yeah. And Dad got a clay bird shooter for Christmas once. Oh yeah. Fun. He spent the afternoon doing that. So there's guns, but they're not pointed at people. Should we say that? Let's say that. Sometimes our Christmas has guns, but they're not pointed at people.

That's today's substance. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. This ticks so many of my boxes. Shopping, pre-loved clothing, kittens. Yeah, I mean, that's your Venn diagram there, isn't it? That's me. It's just all one big circle there.

So there's an op shop in Wellington where I'm from, where I hark back to. And this Saturday, by the way, they haven't asked us to do this. Okay, hold on. I was just thinking of the Venn diagram because, you know, if you see, I always see those Venn diagrams online. I'm always jealous that somebody's, have you seen the one about rappers, Santa and pirates? No.

And the middle bit is, so what Santa has in common with the pirates is hoes is right in the middle. Yeah, great. Because he's always ho. Because he ho ho ho. Rappers talk about hoes and pirates say yo ho ho. Yeah. Yo is what the pirates share with the rappers.

And ho is what the last ho is what Santa shares with the rappers. And the yo ho is what they all share together. Okay. That was good. So now. That's really good. What were the three things? I said kittens.

Yeah. Secondhand clothing. Secondhand clothing. Uh-huh. Well, let's just go kittens, clothing, and shopping. Shopping. Okay. Dusty. Everything's dusty. So the kittens and secondhand clothing was going to be my. Yeah, that's just go kittens, clothing and shopping. Shopping. Okay. Dusty.

Everything's dusty. So the kittens and secondhand clothing was going to be my... Yeah, that's hard. Is that piss? Because you know you're always like, is the cat piss in here? Yeah. And then you're always thinking about clothing. Is that piss?

Yeah, sometimes you get an old jacket and it might smell a bit like piss. Okay, you're the middle one, okay? You're Hayley. You've got all three things. Great. So is that piss? How does that relate to me? No, no, no.

That doesn't need to relate. Is she piss? Do I smell that piss? Is this what you're telling me? Secondhand clothing. Sorry, kittens and shopping. What have they got in common? We buy cats.

That's a weak one. Dopamine. Dopamine hits. Yeah, you get a dopamine hit. Quick dopamine hits. Dribbling. What about dribbling? Cats dribble.

Yeah, because sometimes I walk to a shop and I'm like, I need a press. Now secondhand clothing and shopping. That's too similar. I think you're getting caught up on the Venn diagram thing. I just want to talk about kittens. I want to make a real good Venn diagram one day. This Venn diagram you're trying is so much worse than Santa's Pirates and Rappers.

I know, Santa's Pirates and Rappers. That's a perfect Venn diagram. You're never going to worse than Santa's pirates and rappers. I know, Santa's pirates and rappers. That's a perfect Venn diagram. You're never going to beat that. You're never going to beat that. Okay, well, there's an op shop in Wellington. I know this op shop. It's on Victoria Street called Pre-Love Charlie's. Okay.

Run by the girlies. They find great clothing. You go and you buy it. Save the environment. Get a bargain. I love it. Yeah. This Saturday.

Go find something someone's worn once or just hung up in their wardrobe and didn't even wear. I exclusively op shopped for years. And I love it. There's nothing quite like finding. And my favorite thing is when people are like, oh, my God, I love that. Where's it from? You're like, op shop. Yeah.

And you don't know. You can't wear it. I just hate when you find something that's awesome and you're like, oh, I'll just find that in a 32. Or a medium. And there isn't one because you're at an op awesome and you're like, oh, I'll just find that in a 32 or a medium. And there isn't one because you're at an op shop and they've only got one of it. And then you stand there holding a size six skirt being like, I reckon I could almost get into it as like a 14.

You're like, I just might pop to the changing room to torture myself. Anyway, so this place, Pretty Love Charlie's, on Saturday, you can go into their shop, which is 120 Victoria Street, by the way, cuddle a kitten. They've got rescue clothing, which is what I like

to call op shop clothes, rescued clothing. You can go in for some rescue clothes and also cuddle some rescue kittens for $2. You give a gold coin, cuddle kittens. Amazing. Now, you know I'd be advocating to get kittens in the studio. They just make me happy. I know. My only problem would be, because I did say yesterday,

I remember, that I want to run away to Koh Lanta in Thailand and work at the animal welfare centre there. I just adopt them all. That'd be me. Yeah. I'd give a $2 coin, I'd cuddle it and be like, well, that's nice. You're a pretty special person to foster animals.

And then give them back. Give them everything. Give them all your love and care and then still be able to give them up if somebody adopts them. I'd want to keep a couple each time. Each, literally, but you're my special one. I'll keep you. Your house would definitely fit into two

parts of this Venn diagram. Smells like piss. Yeah, yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Christmas trees. We were going to go get ours yesterday, but it was 25 degrees. And I said to the kids, yeah, we go real. I was like, can you really be bothered? And 25 degree heat walking around the steep hill of this place we're going to go to.

Or should we wait till it cools down a little bit? And they said, keen to wait till it cools down. Right. So, who knows? It's on the agenda though. But you go to to wait till it cools down. Right. So, who knows. It's on the agenda though. But you go to a place and pick them up. Yeah, we go and you wave a big flag and they drive the motorbike down and they cut it and they put it on there and they

take it back up and they chuck it on the roof. I've seen a lot of roof racks with trees strapped on them in the last week or so. Mine's, I go plastic fantastic. I'm slightly allergic to the pine. But I love the smell, so I put my Akoya pine candle next to the plastic tree.

Which is great. They always say fire and plastic mix as well. Yeah, yeah. I put it, I get the branch and I hover it right above. So that the smell is so close to the tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want it almost in the tree, don't you? I actually have many...

Please point out you are being sarcastic there. No, I get many Akoya pine candles and I actually put hooks on them and I hang them in the tree and I light them all up. Again, we will say you're being sarcastic. Then you've got the smell and the Christmas lights. This is how badly she wants those hot firefighters to come to her house.

She's in a past final council inspection and she's willing to burn it down just to get some hot arms. If you missed it, yes, I know my room. Can we talk about this? Because we talked, well, we mentioned that Hayley saw the hot firefighters. You then posted on your story a photo of you and the fire truck. Yeah. Because I think it was big hearted James.

He was like, oh my God, get a photo. And so I did a little photo and then I did a little naughty photo and I took it and I put it up yesterday. Yeah. Because I was so hot. Well, no candles next to the plastic fire tree,

but if you are looking for a real Christmas tree, go to the South Island. Oh, get on the inter-islander. Just holding your tree. Yeah. Wait, does the inter-islander... If you're down south,

take a wildling pine. They're a pain in the ass. Cut the wildling pine, take it to your house, but put some stump killer on it as you cut it off. That's a gel that you can put on the tree. Yes. Well, nobody's stealing a Christmas tree and then gelling the stump. No, don't steal one from a pine plantation.

Take a wildling pine. Again, what? From someone from your land? Cut down 50 other wildling pines while you're there and poison the stumps as well, because wildling pines are a pain in the ass. Are they the ones that are all around Queenstown? Yeah, okay.

Wildling pines. How is that different from Christmas trees? Well, they're not planned. They're spindly and they can't be used for firewood. They're bloody useless. Christmas trees are more expensive in the North Island. So a well-shaped two-metre tall pine tree is about $100 in the North Island.

Well, the same tree in the South Island might be more like $40. Oh, my God. So here's what's causing the price difference. Land availability and costs. Mitchell from Fresh and Bushy in Wellington said South Island growers have cheaper land for their trees, and that means that the cost per tree is significantly less. And also there's a lot,

they don't just grow them, they don't just put them in the ground and then come back at December. There's trimming. There's a lot of upkeep to make them look pretty. Oh, yeah. So a lot of time and labour goes into that. We all had that friend

that had the real manky Christmas tree, that limp, thin thing with the big lip top. Oh, but no, that was us sometimes because it would hit the ceiling and Dad would just bend it over. Yeah, rather than trim it, I'd just bend it over and then hang the star dangling from it. Granted, I would promise my grandmother

they'd be getting a nice Christmas tree and then he'd just go cut a branch off a pine tree. A branch? Dude, that was so rogue. I was like, Alan, you're in big trouble. Right. How much do you pay for yours? About a hundy.

About a hundy, okay. Because our house, I don't want to brag, has a high stud in the? About a hundy. About a hundy, okay. Because I want one because our house I don't want to brag is a high stud. A high stud in the middle of a pitched roof. This is actually the radio show for

as we sometimes forget High studs. High stud ceiling havers. Yeah. Fletcher's apartment your house, my house we've got a high stud. Got a little room up there.

To be honest a high stud nothing to brag about. A lot of fly shit up there I can't bring. Oh my god the amount I just can't be bothered so far lot of fly shit up there I can't bring. Oh, my God, the amount. I just can't be bothered. It's so far away.

It's up there. I want to get one for the middle of our house that's real tall. Every year I get put off because, like, the standard size is about $100. The more you go up, exponentially increases. And then you have to get more decorations because if you're trying to put your last year's decorations on your this year's big, tall tree, it's going to look very bare. And then you've got to buy more decorations.

More decorations. More tree. It's a vicious cycle. Well, that's some. There's other reasons. The quality and growing effort. A guy called Andrew at Needle Fresh Christmas Trees in Christchurch. Shout out.

He said, if you want to produce dense, well-shaped trees, you've got to regularly trim, promote branching, et cetera, et cetera. Lots of time and resource involved in that. Also, just everything's going up in price, right? So somebody said, seedling prices have gone up 50%. Weed control costs have gone up more than 100%. Electricity, if you're using, like, battery-powered tools that are your maintenance. Fuel, wages for young workers, they've all increased.

So that's why your Christmas trees are more expensive. And the supply chain and transport costs have gone up as well for you moving them around. If we could find someone that's coming up from Christchurch. Bring us a tree. Would you mind chucking a tree on the roof? But dig, dig it all out all at once because you'll probably cut it and put it in a bucket of water

to get it here and the water will slosh. Oh yeah, it's not worth it, is it? Just wrap some lemon Christmas lights in your Monstera. Do you know what I mean? Call it a day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

I think this could get a little bit scandalous. We want to know when someone close to you stole from you. Now, this is a terrible story. There's a woman named Lana. She was maybe falling on some tough times, had a bit of debt to pay I think she liked to smoke a little bit of marijuana.

And she asked her grandmother can I borrow 50 bucks? She's like nanny, can I have 50 bucks? It was night time at the time so Nana was like absolutely my darling but it's night time, I time, so Nana was like absolutely my darling. But it's night time, I don't have any cash

on me, here's my EFTPOS card. And the PIN number, okay. 50 bucks she asked for, right. So you go, that's okay, fine, thank you, I'll do that and it'll be done. She used the card several times to the tune of $7,000 worth of things.

Also applied for some loans using Nana's car as security. Oh, your own Nana. I know. And then I think family found out and was like, oh my God, you've got to pay this back. And she just like couldn't. I'm assuming we know about this because it's in the news because has it been to court?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's been like you've actually like kind of like was it fraud or you've just ripped her off basically. Is it fraud or just straight theft?

Oh yeah I suppose just straight up theft. Well the taking the money is theft and the signing up for loans using nanny's cars that would be fraud right? Yeah totally. But then how did they, that would be fraud, right? Yeah, totally. But then how did they do that? Because it would have been registered under the car.

Mate, but who knows? Anyway, she sold $7,000 from an old lady, from her own grandma, with her own flesh and blood. Can I read you the difference? The legal difference between fraud and theft? Yeah, okay. Please do. The theft is a straightforward act of taking somebody else's property

or belongings without their permission, intending to permanently deprive them of it. In contrast, fraud involves deceptive practices or misrepresentation with the intent to gain something of value such as money or goods through dishonest means. It's practically what I said but in a dumb way though, eh? It's sort of

yeah, your way was more interesting Fletch. Your way, Vaughan, was probably more accurate. And so I think together we've got a good definition. Great combo. So yeah, it's gone to court basically and the courts were unsure of how to like, you know, persecute her and it's like a bit of home

detention or you've got to pay it back bit by bit. Anyway, this is what we want to know. Has anyone close to you stolen from you? Because it hurts more, eh? Oh, yeah. It's easier to be ripped off because you trust these people. When I threw a house party back in 2009, 2010,

and I woke up to find that my iPod, 120 gig, that had a really sick playlist on it, that wasn't backed up anywhere else. I had been stolen. I was devastated. That's a little bit on you. Even in 2010, there was that program you could download that would rip music off your iPad to make a backup on your computer. I know, and I hadn't done up anywhere else. I had been stolen. I was devastated. That's a little bit on you. Even in 2010, there was that program you could download

that would rip music off your iPad to make a backup on your computer. I know, and I hadn't done it for them. And I hadn't done it. And that playlist, I tell you, it was iconic. It was one of the ones with the click wheels.

Clicky wheel, and it had 120, you could store so much music on it. You could hear that thing whirring when it was playing Paramore. It would whir. And I woke up in the morning, I was like, it's gone.

And I remember thinking like, I knew everyone at that party. They were all my friends. Like, there was no, like, oh, someone turned up with so-and-so and so-and-so. It was quite a small little house party. And I remember just, like, never finding out. Did you ask them? Yeah, I asked so many people. Like, did anyone accidentally?

It's gone. Wow. Leads? Yeah, any idea? No nibbles, nothing. Really nothing? You don't have your thoughts on who could have done it? No, it just blew my mind.

But I was. I was like, who would do this to me? Unbelievable. Now, I know that I'm not really talking about, you know, $7,000. But still, like, they were expensive. Yeah, totally. And that's a friend that's done that to you. Yeah, I know.

Well, these are the kind of stories we want to hear this morning. 0800 DALS at M. Give us a call. Text through 9696. When did someone close to you steal from you? Yeah, whether it was... Outlandish. Could be money, could be material goods,

could be your identity even. Oh, 800,000 M, call us now. Okay, so we want to know, wow, okay. When did someone close to you steal from you?

There was a woman who asked her nana for 50 bucks, nana gave her the FBOS card, she spent 7,000. Yeah. It's in the courts now. And tried to tick up some stuff in her name as well.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Oh, that's, you know you're not invited to family Christmas. Oh, 100%. I'll tell you that. Not after what you did to Nana. Yeah. Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, this was a friend's little sister. Yes, unfortunately. Best friend from Kimby.

Oh, so what happened? So, as the opportunities arise at work, I was offered to come over to Australia for greener pastures than the big loft so off I went

and stayed with best friends and family all was well all was well on the job hunt things weren't working well so rang old grandmother because she said

I will always get you home and said this is shit can you get me home? And said, this is shit. Can you get me home? Yep. So, off I go, writing down the credit card number to book my flight home, being an 80-year-old grandmother, not really up with too much of online. Yep.

Booked it away. And as I'm writing down the credit card number, there was a little sissy next door. No! And what did she take up on the credit card? Four and a half grand of, if I gave you four and a half grand on a shopping spree in your 24 hours, off you go.

Oh my God, just... Your extensions, safe site card, failed four or five times because obviously didn't pass the test. What the hell? And then actually how you stopped it was actually trading Me New Zealand

because the dungy put her Australian full name and address. But the cardholder was from New Zealand. Yeah, right. Oh, that's good. Yeah, the cardholder came out. So it was obviously when I arrived back to New Zealand, not 24 hours later, I shot up to go and see my grandmother to say, you know,

thanks for saving my life. I'm in a better place now. see my grandmother to say, you know, thanks for saving my life. I'm in a better place now. Yep. And she said, you know, obviously pay me back for the few hundred dollars plane ticket.

How much was it? I'm sure if it was AUD or NZD, she logged on to internet banking and the squirrel I hear from the room. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. And yeah, that's how we found out.

Wow. And did this little brat pay it back? No, no. And yeah, that's how we found out. Wow. And did this little brat pay it back? No, no. And because it's less than 10 grand, the New Zealand government can't do jack shit either. Yeah, right. So what about your friend? Can they like strong arm the little

sister? Yeah, friend. Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Oh no. We obviously went through the formalities because four and a half grand is nothing to blink an eye at. God, no. Yeah. So the bank came to the party.

I didn't know what to do, so I cut the family off because, holy moly, I had to do this. Anyway, so the bank obviously resolved it, provided us all with the documentation to confirm who it was. Yeah. My little sister presented that to the family, and they denied it. That's all.

Oh, my gosh. So you've cut them off then? Oh, 100%. Yeah, good. Anonymous. Wow, anonymous. Yeah, poor Nan. Thank you so much for sharing.

Yes. So many stories like this. Brad, this is your brother. Hi, anonymous. Yeah, poor Nan. Thank you so much for sharing. Yes. So many stories like this. Brad, this was your brother. Hi, guys. Yeah. Oldest of the family. Moved over to New Zealand 15 years ago. Sold everything where we came from.

Yep. And he managed to, my brother managed to defraud my father's signature, go to Westpac Bank and withdrew $20,000 for his gambling addiction. Oh, no. 20. My mum found out eventually, and to this day, she's kept it from my father. You know, he's been the oldest and the favorite. She's kept it from him this whole time.

What? He doesn't know? How has she kept it from him this whole time. What? He doesn't know? How has she kept it from him? He just never found out. I mean, she controlled the bank account, so he never saw the money go missing, and there was quite a bit. Wait, and so your brother is still, like, spoken to

and is the favourite? He is. He moved to Australia seven or eight years ago. They followed him over there. They all live over there with him now. But I haven't spoken to him in eight or nine years because he's done a lot of bad shit in his life. Yeah.

Wow. Oh, my God. We are hearing all this drama. Oh, my God. I've not heard about it. Thank you for sharing. Fiona, who close to you stole? So it wasn't close to me.

It was actually my sister-in-law. So my brother and sister-in-law were getting married and they had the final payment for the celebrant and photographer in an envelope in the room the night before the wedding.

And then it went missing. No! So someone from the wedding party stole it? Sure did. She only had one bridesmaid. Oh, okay. It narrows it down somewhat. Yeah, well, it's really difficult

because they were starting to think, oh my gosh, is it family and that kind of thing? And yeah, there was only a couple of people who actually had a key and access to the room. Okay, wow. Okay, so did they like confront her before the wedding? Not before the wedding. They were sort of fairly certain

on the morning of the wedding that they'd figured it out. But they just kind of got through the wedding, then confronted and cut all contact. And so to this day, they've cut her off. She's done it before. She's in all the photos. And they have to find more money to pay for those photos because she stole the money for the photos.

Yeah. So to this day, they haven't spoken to her. They've cut her off. No. No, all done. I would do the same. Did she have like a reason? Well, she'd just built a new house.

She'd just built a new house. Yeah, probably needed like a couch or something. Curtains aren't cheap. Curtains aren't cheap. Curtains aren't cheap. Oh, Fiona, that's an incredible... People, these people are your friends. Dude, I know.

There's so many messages. Fiona, thank you. Messages. My nephew took a fuel card a month later. The bill came in. Oh, hello. A couple of thousand dollars gone. Turns out he was hooked on meth.

It was actually a blessing in disguise, getting caught, because now he's clean. Because there are a few stories coming through where there's addiction. It's addiction. It makes you do crazy things. It sure wouldn't take any heat out of the moment when you find out that, you know, it's been stolen to fuel an addiction.

We had a cop text in saying, you guys would be absolutely shocked at how common this is. Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars being like, but it was my brother, it was my sister, it was my mum, it was this. Wild. Ten years ago at our wedding, my husband and I went for the wishing well instead of presents. There would have been about 50 of our closest friends and family in attendance.

Sometime during the reception, someone decided to help themselves to a few of the envelopes in the wishing well. I was gutted to know that someone so close would steal from us and effectively steal from somebody else that was there. Mind you, that's a great way of getting out of putting a card with some money in it in a wishing well. Yes. Isn't it?

Yeah. Or putting a card in there, no money, but the envelope's ripped open, so it looks like something else is there. And say, now, I don't want any, you know, comment on the money. I want you to have this money that we made the decision to go without so you could have

yes that's just us we've been saving and we've decided it is yours yep and I don't want to hear anything else

about it I'm totally doing this when my nieces and nephews get married one day no your auntie and I will not hear of it that is the money we want to give to you

we don't need our retirement you know we're happy to keep working so you can have that whole amount and the envelope is just ripped open No, your auntie and I will not hear of it. That is the money we want to give to you. We don't need our retirement. We're happy to keep working so you can have that whole amount. And the envelope is just ripped open. They'll never know. It's brilliant. I had a mate and she stole my $10,000 engagement ring. What made it worse was as I was crying and trying to find it,

she was fake helping me look for it. Like, oh my God, it's okay, we'll find it. It all came out that she's taken it people uh my cousin stole my mum's phone at my nana's funeral what a time to steal a phone at least wait until the white thrower yeah until the next day yeah i reckon i i reckon till the dirt said yeah yeah you know if they put nana in the ground, till the dirt settled. Yuck. Morning team, the person that stole from me was my wife. She stole my heart.

Oh, shut up. Grow up. Grow up. Someone stole my signed black caps jersey. It was the main prize I won at a charity raffle. Aw. Aw. Aw.

My cousin was house sitting when we came back. I found my money box under my bed with scissors all cut open and only a little bit of money left in it. Oh. My cousin was house-sitting when we came back. I found my money box under my bed with scissors, all cut open and only a little bit of money left in it. Oh. Wait, so the cousin's old enough to house-sit, but also, like, old enough to rob a child of their money under their bed? Someone said, talking about identities, I had a small gathering, a party at my house a few years ago.

My wallet went missing. But a few months later, a power company rang me about arrears in my name. Someone had used thousands of dollars as arrears. Someone had used my license as ID to sign up for a power. That's awkward. I asked my mate, Mike, what happened with that? Because one day he got contacted that he'd ticked up a car in Auckland. He's like, actually impossible.

I find not anywhere near. I could ask him what happened with that. Someone just never knew where or how they stole his license. His identity, yeah. Wow. Be careful out there. Listen to this. I always save the best food on my plate till last. And my two-year-old constantly steals it.

I gave her my whole life and she steals my favourite food, Unforgivable. Well, that's true. Yeah. That's just disgusting behaviour. It's treason then. Now, I know that coming up on the show in coming weeks, we will be giving away our Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley motivational calendars. Which month is my quote?

Never trust anybody ever. Oh, yeah. Full stop ever because that is, there's no truer quote than after hearing all of these messages and calls today. Also, your excuses will destroy everything you ever wanted and ever had and ever in your heart wanted if you let them. You've got to get that. You've got to read that right.

Well, I need the calendar because it's on there. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Oh, my God. A vision has walked into the studio. A vision in pink. Morgan Penn, sexologist, host of Sex.Life and dear friend of the show, welcome to the studio. Good morning. I always bring my pink bits in when I come. Well, you've brought another pink bit with you.

Well, I had to bring it in because there were two very noticeable no-shows at my launch party last night. I know. I did text you to say though. What am I going to use that for? Sorry? What am I going to use that for? For those that don't know, Morgan has launched her own toy.

Her own toy with Wild Secrets that she has worked very hard on called Glow. Because I want everybody to glow and you will once you've had a hoon on that. And it's a wand of sorts as opposed to, you know, a myriad of other things it could be.

And I was like, ooh, I just held the end of it. It's got functions. I'll just give you a little sound. And I was like, ooh. That doesn't sound like Harry Potter's to me. But you just gave me a little sample of the wand on my arm to sort of get some tickles and feelings going. It felt so nice.

I've got a knot on my shoulder. Do you? Well, take your clothes off. Please felt so nice. I've got a knot on my shoulder. Well, do you? We'll take your clothes off. Please. No, I'm going to close on a massage. Unless Fletcher's got some hot stones and some oils. I'm going to put the... What is this called?

It's called Glow. It's a wand. The Glow wand. Oh, my God. Vanilla Vorney. Hi, Benz! Yeah, it's flexible. It's got to have movement

Around the body Is that good? Go get in there Don't hold back Oh my Oh yeah there he is The big boy Yeah that's good

That's good But this wand morgue That you've made Limited edition I believe It is You've got to get it now If you want one You have made this

As like a full body experience The thing Not just for downstairs. Well, the thing is that I get asked all the time, like, what's the best couples toy? And a big issue that couples come to see me for. No. No.

No. That is the death of sex. Seriously. You should know that. I'll go in the corner for it. The moment you're in a beanbag with your PlayStation, no sex is happening. Exactly. Sex appeal turned off. But you think that this would be a nice thing for couples?

It's a great initiator because so many people don't know how to start. It's a great bridge to starting warming up the bodies and getting excited. Yeah, you just gave me a little bit on my forearm and I was like, delicious, and I feel like a big cuddle. Because your name is on this toy.

Yeah. What, this glow, how do you go about choosing like. Yeah. Is it like designing a perfume and picking the bottle? Yeah. It's exactly like that. That's cool. I had to give everything I wanted. Like I really wanted it to be waterproof. I wanted it to be medical grade silicone. So it's like really good for the body. So they can use it in hospitals.

Use it in the bath. Yes. What is the different grades of silicone? Is cooking one of them? Muffin tray. But there's some really cheap plastic stuff that comes out of China. Yes. That people make sex toys out of. We talked

about this recently. People getting their adult fun times from like Timu or things like that. And then having like using it in the bath and getting shocked. Body reactions. I know. Isn't that horrible?

Imagine just hopping in for a lovely indulgent self love session. As long as it's a 12 volt you don't run the main nothing off the mains should go near the bath. Your Zai.

This is beautiful by the way. It's like pink and pearly and nice to hold. It's because the wand is traditionally sort of an old fashioned sort of a situation. The industry had moved away from the wand. I like this. I like that throwback. The wand

was originally made by Hitachi as a massager. Yeah, and it was like plugged into the wall. Hitachi the tool man. But this was the woman's I've got a Milwaukee wand. I'm a Dewalt wand man. It's so dangerous. Once you've got the batteries, you just kind of have to keep the brand. It's got one setting wand. Yeah, yeah. I'm a DeWalt wand man. Mine's so dangerous. Like, once you've got the batteries,

you just kind of have to keep... It's got one setting. It's just fast. The lads on the work site love it too. Oh, they do. But it was like the 70s thing. Yeah, the horny woman of the 70s were like,

this isn't a massage, darlings. Oh, right. And then it was a whole revolution. And that's what I really like about the wand because it is multifaceted. But the thing about the wand as well is that it's really accessible for all bodies because it's got this long handle so it reaches around. So if you're pregnant, if you're fat, if it's hard to, like,

you've got disabilities in your body, it's a lot easier to put into little nooks and crannies. Oh, my God. Well, I can't wait to put this in my nooks and crannies. Now, what about, what's happening with season three of the podcast, Sex.Life? Well, I can't talk about that. I just want to talk about why I'm still mad

at these two for not coming to the party. Right. I've brought the party to you. Shannon, can you please come in here? Because- I did text you yesterday

saying I couldn't come to the party, but I am on my hands and knees because I was cleaning the whole house. Yeah, well, hands and knees would have been appropriate

at the party. Oh my God, a ginormous wand. It's a cake. A ginormous cake has come into the studio. Is it cake? It is.

It is cake. Oh. What flavour is it? Chocolate. Oh my God, this makes me so happy. Vanilla Vornay. Vanilla Vornay likes you

when I work for you. I'm very proud of you for your launch morgues because, and you can get it at Wild Secrets. Let's talk about where people can get this.

Wild Secrets? Yes, that's who I've collaborated with. Do you mind if I ask the recommended retail price? Yes, you can get it at wildsecrets.co.nz. Let's talk about where people can get this. Wild Secrets? Yes, that's who I've collaborated with. Do you mind if I ask the recommended retail price? Yes, you can ask that. That's $185, which is actually a very reasonable price point for a very quality product. Yeah, 100%. A lot of thought and effort goes into that.

You don't just put your name on anything. Is this my one? No, I do not. I've rubbed my hands all over it, Morgz. Yes, that's your one, my love. Thank you. You can have that. And for a special night.

Fletch, did you get one at the launch party? No, I didn't take one. I didn't think I needed one. I've got a funny story actually, Morgz, to tell you about. Something that happened at Fletch's house the other day. But I think it's for off-air. Oh my God, what did he do now? I went to the bathroom and I washed my hands.

No, it's for off-air. It's for off-air. This is unbelievable. Sounds like a good story to me. I'm in trouble. Now let's talk about season three of the podcast. Okay is unbelievable. Sounds like a good story to me. I'm in trouble. Now let's talk about season three of the podcast. Okay, okay. Because people are hanging out for Sex.Life season three.

I've been traveling around the country, Morgan, and so many women coming up to me being like, oh my God, the podcast, the speaker, the guy, the this, the school. Every time I see one of those speakers, I send you a picture, don't I? Is it this one or is it this one? Is it this one? So what is happening, Morgan? So, I mean, look, the last few seasons I've been putting my body on the line, right?

Yes. And so I've been trying to do similar things but in a different way. And this season Vaughan will put his body on the line. Yes, exactly. Vanilla Vaughan. Vanilla Vaughan getting out to the world of Spice. Yes, finally.

I'm teaching people. You'll come around to do the podcast and I'll be slumped in the beanbag playing PlayStation. Hiding your anus. End of podcast. Okay, the death of sex. Yeah. Now, talking about the death of sex,

so that's a stay tuned situation. Right, it's a work in progress. It's a work in progress. It's coming. It's down the line. I think they're not easy podcasts to make because Morgan goes through months and months of research and experiences and, you know, things just take a lot of time for us to be able to talk about the things that she does.

Yeah. My nervous system has to recalibrate after all those wild parties. It was full on last season, wasn't it? But anyway, talking about the death of sex and Vaughn sitting on a beanbag playing PlayStation. Now, apparently there is a sex recession happening, particularly in younger generations, that people are having less sex than ever before. And blaming social media?

Blaming social media. Why is that? Yeah, it's really interesting, especially for the generation that loves bed rotting. Yeah, I know. They're just in bed. What else are you doing? Well, they're eating food and they're just watching like Netflix.

Yeah. And they're just uninspired. And the social media, obviously all the things they're watching, it's telling them all the bad things about sex instead of like all the great things about sex. And the bodies are offline. That's what I reckon. They're like so out of their bodies watching consuming media

on like multiple screens. And is it killing their dopamine as well? Like by the time it's just kind of they're done? Thank you, doctor. That's actually really good. Because that's why we're scrolling, right? We're talking about what they're getting those hits. There, there, there.

So they're not looking elsewhere for it. And the type of sex that we're having is changing as well. Like it's not very connected. It's quite disconnected. And with porn, which I don't want to vilify because it definitely has its place in this world, but it often is even more of a dopamine hit

and it happens so fast that the body... Especially when you skip ahead all the kissing stuff. To the little mountain. To the little mountain peak. Hit the peaks. No one's talking about the valleys. Everyone the little mountain peak. Hit the peaks. No. Anyway, sorry. No one's talking about the valleys.

Everyone's talking about Everest. Yeah, yeah. Carry on. Yep. It just, yeah, no one's got time anymore to let the body, like, warm up and move at its own pace

to actually get the proper, like, real release, body release. Do you think as well, I mean, like, because sex is such a good stress reliever and it's a shame that we're not indulging it

because so much stress at the moment, cost of living, people are having, you know, tough times and we get into bed and all we do is put on our headphones and just want to scroll and fall asleep. Yeah. Whereas like, actually,

what would really make you feel good on the end of the day is some connection with yourself or with your partner. It would make such a difference and it's free, right? We're all looking for like, what's going to make us feel better

and this is actually something we can do that doesn't cost a thing. Now a couple of messages in just immediately. Someone said we're not having sex because heaven forbid we had children, we can't afford it. There's lots of ways around there. Right, okay. And someone said you're telling me if I delete TikTok I have better sex. Fine, done.

Oh, great. That was easy. So is that what you're saying? Basically put down the social media? Limit your time? I think so. I think we're so, we've got no boundaries around social media, do we? No. Does anybody in this room have a certain amount of time

that you give yourself? No. And I look forward to getting into bed and scrolling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I always say, if the phone is the last thing you touch at night and you're in bed with somebody else, we've got a problem.

That's a great little message. That's a great saying. Well, a few people texted asking for the name of Morgan's wand that she's made with Wild Secrets. It's called Glow. If you go onto the website and you just put in Morgan, you'll find it. It'll pop right up.

You're the only thing on Wild Secrets that's called Morgan. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. I think there's some couches called Morgan. Not on that site, but... Right, like Freedom or something. Yeah. The Morgan Chase.

Very proud of you, Morgs, for this collab with Wild Secrets. Very much looking forward to season three of Sex Dollar. Me too, darling. And we are going to... Well, you're going to hang around, and after the show we're going to record a podcast extra as well. Yeah. A little bit odd.

I just was on Wild Secrets and I searched Fletch to see if anything was called Fletch on there and it said, do you mean flesh? Oh! Oh! That's definitely what it is. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Hey, silly little polly, you excited for Squid Game's volume two, volume two, season two, Squid Game two? Volume two. Volume two, Squid Game's Volume 2. Volume 2. Season 2. Squid Game 2. Volume 2. Volume 2. Squid Game. And so it comes out on Boxing Day.

It's perfect family watching. What a lovely way to chill out with your family. Oh, my God. I am so fizzed for this. I loved Season 1. Wow, it's been three years since the first one. Yeah. And do you know what?

I think we liked it because it was different and unusual. So different. But the acting was, most of the acting in the story was terrible, wasn't it? It was just the. No. Don't you reckon? The main people's acting was okay. Yeah.

Yeah, but there was a lot of like, there was. They had 400 regular extras. I mean, I thought the acting was good once I realised to turn off dubbing. Yeah. Yes. When he was doing the American accent once I realised to turn off dubbing. Yeah. Yes. When he was doing the American accent. I was like, oh my god, no. You turn off dubbing, you put on subtitles, have it in Korean. Yeah, much better. But do you think season

two's going to live up to the hype? How can it? How can it? Well, are you excited for school game two? Yes, 31%. What? Okay. No, 69%. Which is interesting because it was one of the biggest shows

of that year. Oh yeah, it was the biggest show at the time. It was the biggest show of that year. Interesting. Gianna,

whose name is spelled like Diana but with a G so we could call her Guyana. Guyana, yeah. Princess Guyana. We'll call her

Princess Guyana. Said, I'm not like super excited for it but I'll probably watch it. Blana. Yeah, Princess Guyana. We'll call her Princess Guyana. Said, I'm not like super excited for it, but I'll probably watch it. Yeah. Blase. That's very Kiwi. Yeah. Very Kiwi.

We'll see if it's okay. Kind of, but like calm down. Yeah. Danielle says, Koreans just do this sort of shit better. Only thing I've watched start to end being dubbed. Hate that out of sequence lip movement, but this I made an exception for. Danielle, try it. No, no, no, no.

Subtitles. Subtitles. Subtitles. The acting is so much better when they're just speaking Korean. And not having to adjust the translation to fit exactly the same time. Yes. Because that's what they have to do for that. That's why sometimes it doesn't make sense. Yeah. Or it's rushed. Oh my God, do not push

me onto the floor. It was so bad. Terrible. Caitlin says, I enjoyed the first season and I'm sure I'll enjoy the second, but I don't feel any great drive to watch it the minute it's available. Okay. Because it's been too long, do you think? I don't know. I mean, for us, hopefully we'll be at the beach on Boxing Day.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Not on the couch watching Squid Game 2. Excited for Squid Game 2, but more excited for the next season of Alice in Borderland. Okay. I think we've got a suggestion here.

Have you guys heard of Alice in Borderland? Okay. Also an obsessed gamer, Arisu, suddenly finds himself in a strange emptied out version of

Tokyo in which Hannah's friends must compete in dangerous games in order to survive. Oh yeah, this looks great. Okay.

Is it Japanese? Japanese. Yeah, good. Okay. Okay. Okay it Japanese? Japanese. Yeah, good. Okay. Okay, Nathan, we'll put that on the old list-a-roo. Laura says,

I watched one episode of the first one and found it boring. Not gory enough for her apparently. Apparently not enough death for her. Wow.

Didn't they wipe out half the contestants in the first episode? Yeah, green light, red light. Literally. Wow, okay.

I just shot them where they stood. Chloe said, I've broken my ankle. I need something to watch. Oh, my gosh. She's in a cast for summer. It's going to be so itchy and sweaty and stinky. Oh, you're going to have such a stinky, mingy leg. Yeah.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Mason said, nah, the bad dubbing puts me off. Mason, you pickle noodle. We've already said. You don't. Turn it off and read the subtitles. Sarah Louise says She made a hell of a cheesecake, didn't she? No, that was Sarah Lee.

Sarah Lee. Not Sarah Louise. Well, this one might be Sarah. She might have a good cheesecake. She's an S-A-R-A. Yeah. So she might be a Sarah Louise. I feel like it's been too long since the last one. It's lost its hype for me. Yeah.

Is there a neat little recap, a little 15-minute recap? Yeah. Why have they taken so long? Look at the scale of the thing. It was huge. And then it won all these awards and stuff. And COVID, yeah. Because wasn't it filmed pre?

Pre, or just before, just before we start. Charlotte says, that program is so disturbing there's no way I'm putting myself through a second season that's what we've got to remember not everybody's into that sort of like gruesome programming yeah also let's remember

it's not real just an idea wow documentary spoiler alert excited but also really hope they don't ruin the franchise

says Charlotte but if they do we'll just stop watching yeah just be like okay although I like I like other people to watch because I've stopped watching shows early They don't ruin the franchise, says Charlotte. But if they do, we'll just stop watching. Yeah. Just be like, okay. Although I like other people to watch because I've stopped watching shows early when other people who I trust say it's gone to the dogs.

And I'll just remember it as fondly as I did. Don't ruin it. Without ruining it. I've done that for a few shows. Yeah, that's the vibe. That's a little pile. Play ZM's Flesh, Gwen and Hayley. We ran a lovely competition just in time for Christmas.

Who are you Christmasing this year? Yeah. A lot of people still have friends, family overseas, haven't seen them for a long time. We're still feeling the impacts of COVID. Yep, thanks to United Airlines, we had premium economy flights as well to bring them home. And then we played for you last week, I believe,

us announcing to our winner that she had won. Yes. And then her telling her friend that she was coming home. Now, we disguised their voices and bleeped out their names. We did. Because if it got around that they had won before she got home, the cat, the metaphorical cat, would be out of the bag. And we couldn't surprise members of the family

with this beloved member of the family returning home for Christmas. And that's what we did on Monday. So we met our winner. That's right. Whose name we can now reveal. Chantelle.

Chantelle. Chantelle is a Kiwi who is living over in the UK. She's been there for some time. Her friend Charlie entered her into the competition because not Charlie XCX. Not Charlie XCX.

We did confirm. Because we were like Charlie XCX, you can afford to bring her home yourself. Yeah, no, she's like oh, I'm not xex we did confirm because we were like charlie xex you can afford to bring her home yourself yeah no she's like oh i'm not charlie xx we're like gotcha okay got yeah charlie entered because chantal had been having a really tough time she's had a crap year really and wasn't able to come home for christmas hasn't seen her family since sort of covid times yeah and and charlie thought it would be really nice to bring Chantel home. So she won. Yeah. We went out to the airport on Monday.

She landed at like 9.30. By like 10 o'clock, we were with her being like, hi, hi, hi, with microphones. And then we basically spent the whole day surprising. Yeah. Well, she had to see Charlie.

Yeah. Then she surprised her dad, Mo, and her sister, Sam. So have a listen to how that went, because it was such a lovely way to spend the day. Hello! It's Fletch, Vaughan, Hayley, and Chantel. Chantel. We've brought you home as part of our Christmasing

competition. I think I landed all of 20 minutes ago. It's also shockingly warm today, and you're in like jeans. It's cold where I came from. When is the last time that you saw your family? COVID time. Because Charlie's the one who entered the competition for you to get you home. Oh my gosh, we've been besties since high school.

She was saying that you've been through a bit of a hard time and you'd be thinking... I've had a bit of a tough year, but she was always there if I needed her. Like, I knew I could always call her any time of the day and night. Now we're just waiting for Charlie to arrive. OK. Here she goes. Oh my gosh. Oh, it she goes. Ah! Oh, my God. Hi.

Oh, it's so good to see you. Not me crying again. I already told them you're the crier. I am definitely the crier. You planned this whole thing. You crazy fool. Obviously, Charlie knows that you're here. Yes.

But you haven't told your family. No, so no one knows. How do you feel? Are you excited? Are you nervous? A bit of both, actually. How do you think the family members will take it? Will they get emotional? Probably not crying. I don't think they'll cry. I'm a crier, yes.

Who do you want to come with to see your family in case no one cries, and then we'll just push you in front of the camera and you can cry some more. Sure, why not? I can do that. Someone's going to cry. Okay, so the? I can do that. That'd be great. Okay, so the next stop, we're here to surprise your dad. Mo? Mo, yeah, Maurice Mo. He has been dragged out of work under the false pretense of needing to have a chat with someone.

We've just learned. If someone said that to me at work, I'd be like, oh, no, I'm about to lose my entire life. And we've just learned he works at HR, so he knows exactly what that's code for. So you hide in the car. We're going to go and ambush him and ask him what he wants for Christmas. Okay.

Not that horrible daughter of mine back from England. Excuse me. Hello. What was your name? My name's Maurice. Maurice, what would you like for Christmas this year, if you could have anything? Oh, a happy family. Happy family.

Happy family. Any missing parts of that family at the moment? One's in the UK. One's in the UK. We've got a Christmas present for you. Surprise! Oh! You can swear. You're allowed to swear.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad. That's the coolest Christmas. Are you crying? Oh, we got him! There's some moisture there. Oh, we got him. I thought I heard the breath. I recognise that breath. That's a man that's about to cry breath. You know, sometimes you get a bit sort of caught off guard.

And you know what? I just finished polyurethane in the fourth year bedroom yesterday. Thanks, Dad. That is the most Dad thing. That's Dad done. And now we're going to surprise the rest of your friends and family. Thank you, everybody. OK, hi, Samantha.

Hello. Stand here by the slide. Stand by the slide because it's funny. We've ambushed you in this park to ask you a very special question as it is the festive season. If you could have anything for Christmas, what would it be? Well, I crashed my car recently, so it would be a car. Do we have budget for a new car?

No, probably not. Is there anybody you're missing this Christmas? My sister. Your sister? Yeah, she lives in England. I miss her. What if we could magically make her appear right now? That would be awesome.

You're joking. Are you actually serious? Oh my gosh. Oh. What the hell is going on? Are you actually serious? Oh, my gosh. Oh. You're terrible. What the hell is going on? Surprise.

Oh, my God, I missed you. What are you doing here? Oh, my gosh, this is so cool. Holy crap. Happy Christmas. Oh, my gosh. So, sorry she's not a car. No.

Oh, yeah. This is better. Oh, my gosh. So, sorry she's not a car. No. Oh, yeah. This is better. Thank you, guys. Seriously. You're so welcome. I'm like, this is crazy because I listened to ZM. I was like. That's so cute.

Thank you. I missed one. Good work, boyfriend. What? Bye. Holy. Thank you, guys. When she came down the slide.

Oh, my God. We were just watching it By the way everyone's crying in the text machine They're like why are you making me ugly sob before work When that sister came down the slide It was genius Yeah it was brilliant Well if you want to see

Chantel slide surprise her sister The video is now up on our socials I think every surprise Should be revealed by slides It's the greatest way Also Chantel and Charlie were like hiding in this tower now up on our socials, FEHZM. Yeah. I think every surprise should be revealed by Slides. Same. It's the greatest way. Also, Chantel and Charlie were, like, hiding in this tower of the slide with their little heads looking at the bubble thing

as we were, like, hunting down the sister in this park. It was really, really fun. And then, yeah, the surprise reveal. Yeah. Thank you as well, again, to United Airlines as well for making that happen. Yeah. Bringing them home.

Great Christmas for Chantel and her family now. 16 past eight. I tell you what, I think there might be more tears next. Should we just cry for the rest of the last hour? Just cry from here to the end of the year. You've had a Facebook memory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember it so clearly.

How embarrassing. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley It was a Facebook I go on Facebook memories Every day It's part of my routine Mostly because it's like Lots of pictures of my kids

When they were like Little like Oh look at this one Look at this one This is Oh my god Tell me that's not adorable August

Santa photo Cute That's cute I just Cute baby Facebook like It's just there Like I use messenger

Still but like It's just there I You use messenger still But like it's just there I don't even wish people happy birthday now Neither do I I'm more likely to send a direct message Happy birthday Yeah I did that yesterday This is why I don't want to say it 11 years ago I posted I ate the ginger slice today

I ate it on my own time and it was good How long ago was that? 2013 So 11 years ago you were on my own time and it was good. How long ago was that? 2013. 2013. So 11 years ago you were 30, oh, 24. Yeah. Dude, dad. Dad update for a 23-year-old.

Dad update, dude. Dude. As a comedian. Awesome. Yeah, cool. So lame. Tell us another one. Is that part of your type five?

Oh, God. That's just bad. Well, 15 years ago today, I can tell you via Facebook memories, Fletch, that was when we were live on air talking to someone that got hit by a truck. Oh, my God. Remember that? What was it? That was 15 years ago, my dude.

Amazing. 16 years ago. Just got notebooked. If you Ryan Gosling, I finally watched The Notebook. Oh, got notebooked. 16 years ago I can remember it so clearly And I lost it and Sade thought

I was so sad What is wrong? When she turns up She's gone on to live a rich life And he's built the house finished It wasn't even that but for me It was when they were old and she couldn't remember him I don't

Because my grandad had a brain injury towards the end of his life and towards the end of it, he didn't know who anybody was. And I just watched that and that was, oh, and it just set me off in a way I went. Oh, yeah. You got notebooked. Yeah, I got notebooked. So hard.

Yeah. So hard. And then it was around that time also that Fletcher's like, great documentary you should watch, Dear Zachary. Oh, my God. And he it was around that time also that Fletcher's like, great documentary, you should watch Dear Zachary. Oh, my God. And he's like, yeah. But he did say in his defense, what's your mental state like at the moment?

Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, good. Oh, my God. Here's the thing about Dear Zachary. If you're sad, it is just going to like right off your weekend, watch it on a Friday and make sure you've got no plans for the weekend. But if you're happy, I'd almost say don't watch it because it will ruin your mood.

Yeah. It's really hard to find. Because I wanted to, dear Zachary, the producer girlies, because this is kind of, this used to be a bit of a fun sport that I'd play. You are an animal.

You're a cold-hearted monster. You got dear Zachary. The rule is, for those listening that don't know this movie, you're not allowed to Google it. Let me just say this. IMDb, 8.5 out of 10. Rotten Tomatoes, 94%.

Prime Video. Oh, maybe it's on Prime Video. I don't know if that's New Zealand, though. 8.5 out of 10. This is an incredible documentary. True Crime. It's on YouTube. It will...

Yeah, I've found it on YouTube. The whole thing's on YouTube. And Producer Girlies, you haven't seen this. No, we haven't. And honestly, we were just discussing it in our producer's booth after you presented us with this. Yep. We feel like we're getting rickrolled.

Like, we're getting a little bit rickrolled. It's one of those, if you don't cry in this movie, there's something wrong with you. Even I cried. You cried. I felt cold. You know when something, when it's, you're so like, I felt cold

and I felt empty and it like sat with me for days. I couldn't shake it. I could just cry. I'm watching, you're saying. I got cold goosebumps

from it. Because I feel like I'm Fletch in a way of like, I can be like, oh my God, that's so sweet, but it takes a lot for me to cry.

Have you watched the, you know what I think you two should watch? I will not. I will not. Oh, the Cove? I will not watch that. And I will not. I will not. Oh, The Cove? I will not watch that. And I will not watch The Octopus Teacher.

Oh, no, no, you'll love that one. I will not. You'll love The Octopus Teacher. I've never watched Marley and Me. I will not. Don't watch The Cove, man. Don't watch The Cove. That last scene, I sobbed and then we sat in silence for 30 minutes.

Yeah, so that's what I don't want to watch. But Des Zachery is always on the top documentaries of all time. Yeah, it's incredible. But the rule is you're not allowed to Google what happens. But if it's true crime. Get off your phone. You can't be on your phone during it. Single screen it.

You should watch it together. Oh, together, yeah. No, because you don't want to ugly cry in front of your friends. But you watched it by yourself? Yeah, I watched it on my own. I think so. Why am I going to cry, though, if it's true crime? Because of the way the documentary's made.

It's a beautiful movie. It doesn't take much to make me cry. The wind will change and I'll lose it. It's not on Prime Video NZ. What, when it goes from a northerly to a southerly? What? Yeah. Yeah, when the wind changes, you burst into tears.

She's like, it was just going north. Yeah. And now it's gone south. And the temperature changed and the humidity has dropped. So it's called, the full title is Dear Zachary, a letter to a son about his father. I couldn't find it on any of the streaming services, but yeah,

I think it's all on YouTube. The whole thing's on YouTube if you look it up on there. Or just the notebook if you need a tactical cry. Have you seen the notebook? I haven't seen the notebook, no. Haven't you? I feel like crying this weekend. Do you? But it's the festive season. I can make you cry. I've got two.

Do it. Not here. People will never forgive me. Imagine. You'd be like, I know I can do it. You gave me two minutes. But I can't do it in front of people. I've known you for five years and I've been storing a notebook of my own of insecurities. Hayley's triggers.

I'm going to trigger all of them at once in a sort of a thermal nuclear meltdown. It's such a partner thing to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know how to make you cry. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day Walt Disney Week here at Fact of the Day

And yesterday I heard from Connor On Instagram Connor messaged me saying Walt Disney Week at Fact of the Day. I said, it is, Connor. And he said, Walt Disney designed the logo for the company I work for. The founder met him on a flight in 1924.

They talked about their respective businesses and Walt Disney used a napkin to design the logo that they still use today of the character called Mr. Strut. Oh, okay. Let me guess. What kind of business is it? called Mr. Strut. Oh, okay. Let me guess. What kind of business is it? Struts.

Struts. What? Struts. I don't know what struts are either, so I've Googled what struts are. Struts. Like what's a famous strut company that's been around for ages? Unistrut. Unistrut.

And the character is called Mr. Strut. I don't know what they are. That's like a mechanism, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I've Googled a Unistrut. It's the original metal framing system featuring a unique weldless connection. It eliminates welding and drilling and is easily adjustable and reusable for infinite configurations. Great welders are out of jobs now, are they?

You use them on houses. Right. Where is this logo? Being used on planes. Here he is. Here he is, Mr.? You use them on houses. Right. You use them on... What is this logo? Being used on planes. Here he is. Here is Mr. Strut. Give us a look. That's a strut.

He's got springy arms and he's wearing gloves and he's holding a wrench and that means he's capable of adjusting himself. It's kind of hard because it's not instantly sort of replicable.

Oh, yeah. I thought it was going to be like a famous company like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He drew the M for McDonald's or something. But it hasn't changed since 1924. Wow.

Because I guess if your company got its logo designed for free by Walt Disney, you're probably not going to change it. Yeah. The story alone, right? That is a great story. Yeah. Connor sent me that. What else?

I'm looking here. If you need to, you can buy a Talispar perforated square tubing. I think we're good, Vaughn. Perforated. Perforated. Oh, he dumb. I got scared. What was his score on that high school rankings?

It was like 22% pass. No, it was 29. Shut up, dumbo. There's wheel trolleys and bearings and all sorts Of different struts and strut Configurations and being led by Mr Strut they also talked about A movie they came up with a movie

Concept on the flight Called The Sky's the Limit and my research Tells me it finally got made in the 70's It's called The Sky's the Limit A family is thrown into turmoil when a grandson convinces his grandfather to teach him to fly planes. And they came up

with it on the plane. Oh, okay. The Sky's the Limit. So that's a 7.6 out of 10 on IMDb. Not bad. Not great. Not bad.

If it's over 7 on IMDb, you know, I'm not afraid to give it a little nudge. Okay. So thank you to Connor for sending that in and letting us know that.

And on a flight in 1924, the founder of his business met Walt Disney and Walt Disney designed their little character logo that they've been using ever since 100 years. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. We want to know now, and we want to ask you a call.

0800 dial ZM, text through 9696. When have your parents had to bail you out? Like, come to your rescue. Got you out of trouble. And it's because when you're an adult, it's just a bit different, though, eh? Yeah. It's like, ma'am. Ma'am, I'm really stuffed up.

Yeah. Help, ma'am. Help. Yeah. Because this has happened at the absolute top level. Joe Biden, current president of the United States, until the start of January, has pardoned. Can't wait. Has pardoned his son Hunter,

which means because US president can pardon anyone. So if they're in prison. Which is wild. Isn't that wild? So anyone could be in prison or be charged with any crime, historical or current, and he could say, I pardon you. And that's- You're free to go.

You're free to go or the record is clear. Yeah. Isn't that wild? So, and I, because I've been reading about this, but I don't understand US politics because I've chosen not to, but you kind of- He initially said he wouldn't because, you know, that's unfair. But what did his son do? It's like, was it tax? It's always tax.

And a gun charge. Okay. Okay. Okay. And possessing a legal gun or something like that. Okay. So he always said, I won't do it. But now, of course.

Time's running out. Time's running out. And, you know, Trump's coming in and he's like, oh, look, you're pardoned. Do you know what? And everyone is just like, oh, okay. Yeah, I know. But all the mums and dads were like, I would have done it for pardoned. Do you know what? And everyone is just like, oh, okay. Yeah, I know. But all the mums and dads were like, I would have done it for my boy too. Exactly.

Of course you would. You would do it. You would do it. What does he care? He's fallen out of grace. But there's thousands, I'm guessing tens of thousands of people in prison. Wrongfully. In America, wrongfully or for something like drug possession, like marijuana possession

when they were 18 just because, and the law's changed since, but they're still in prison. I know, it's wild. That's the bigger kind of hypocrisy, right, is that there were more needy people to be pardoned. But you would, if you had the power and you were on your way out and no one likes you, you're never going to do the presidency again,

you're old, you'd just be like. You'd just do it. Well, I'm allowed to. I mean, we don't have kids, Warren, but if your kids were older and they got into a spot of bother, you'd be there. You'd just do it. Well, I'm allowed to. I mean, we don't have kids, Worm, but if your kids were older and they got into a spot of bother, you'd be there. You'd be like, okay. Yeah, if they're in a spot of bother.

I'll help you out. Yeah. And this is what we want to know this morning. When did mum and dad have to step in? Maybe you were overseas. Got you out of trouble. And you ended up in trouble or you ran out of money. Dad called his lawyer, mate.

Well, it doesn't have to be a crime thing. Yeah, no, totally got you out of a situation. Trying to think about whether my parents, I mean, my parents 100% would. They'd do anything for me, but I've never really been, I've never got into proper trouble. Yeah.

I think once I forged my mum's signature on a note so that I could skip school and go spend the day with my boyfriend. And then I got seen out of the school, and I think I ended up having to tell my mum that I forged a note, and she rung the school and said, no, I wrote the note. She was in an appointment. Patsy.

Patsy. And I wasn't. She came to your rescue. I was going getting some fresh hickeys. Oh. Patsy. She'll never learn if you keep getting her into trouble, Patsy. Okay, whatever. I was going and getting some fresh hickeys. Oh. Patsy. She'll never learn if you keep getting her into trouble, Patsy. Okay, whatever it was, 0800-DARLS-NM is the number.

You can text through 9696. When did your parents have to get you out of trouble? We want to know when your parents have come to your rescue. Like Joe Biden has pardoned his son for his crimes. Yeah, I mean, we're not going to get any presidential pardon stories. Oh, you don't reckon? No, no. So he had pleaded guilty to nine tax-related charges,

was convicted of illegally buying and possessing a gun, a few different things, so then he... He's been sober for a number of years, but he was a bit of a hot mess. Oh, was he a scallywag? He was a real... Big scallywag. Oh, I didn bit of a hot mess. Oh, was he a scallywag? He's a real, yeah. Big scallywag. Oh, I didn't realise that. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. So Dad's come to the rescue. We want to know when Mum or Dad stepped in to help. Dania, this was... Good morning. What happened? Who came to your rescue? My mum.

Okay. What happened? So I had gone home with a guy who, you know, for not so fun times. Not so fun times? No, that's a shame. No, no. Oh, bugger. You know, fell asleep.

And I woke up at around like 2.30 in the morning and he had peed the bed. Oh, no. Is that the not fun times? Yeah, that's the not so fun times. So it was fun up until that moment. It was, no. Is that the not fun times? Yeah, that's the not so fun times. So it was fun up until that moment? It was fine. Okay, it was fine. It was bad and then it happened.

It only got worse. I think if you're that intoxicated that you're weighing the bed, you're not really pulling great moves in the bedroom before that. No, not at all. What did mum drive over and rescue you? Well, yeah, because the thing is I had to, like, kind of find my way out of his house because we'd come in through, like, the garage,

and so I didn't know where anything was. So I'm, like, it's, like, 2.30 in the morning. I'm, like, sneaking around this guy's house trying to figure out how to get out. Wow. And then, yeah, I call my mum, and it's, like, yeah, quarter to three, and I ring her, and she's, like, asleep, like a normal mother would be. Yes. And, yeah, quarter to three. And I ring her and she's like asleep, like a normal mother would be.

And yeah, she had to come and rescue me. And then she asked me what happened. I told her, I told her what happened. Like, you've been to bed. That's so funny. That's brilliant. It's so mortifying telling your parents that stuff. I'd just be like, can you not judge me right now?

Because I feel really sick. I just need to get out of here. Yeah. Dania, thank you. Oh my God. Jodie, when did mum come to the rescue? So I was in Rome in Italy

with one of my best mates and we were doing the Spanish Steps pub crawl. And we got so boozed that we got lost and we had to ring our parents in New Zealand and get them to Google Map where we were because it was like 15 years ago. Oh, right. so it was before,

right, okay. Yeah, I used to do that all the time. I did like a work experience thing. I used to drive around Auckland. I'd ring mum and be like, okay, here's the street. She'd be like, hang on. I love that you're in Rome. They were absolutely freaking out. They wanted to get on a plane, come and find us, and we were just having the time of our

lives. That's every parent's worst nightmare is hearing from their daughter. I'm the world last. Mom, I'm lost. I'm lost in Rome. I'm now a parent and that freaks me out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brilliant, Jodie. Thank you. So many texts and calls. We'll get to more of those next. When did a parent come to the rescue? We want to know when your parent

came to the rescue. So many situations. I love this. I once wagged school, got home, realised I was locked out. So I called mum, who left work, to let me in. Then caused a panic amongst her co-workers who thought school would finish early that day and they were all late to pick up their kids. She was like, no, no, no, no.

Then she called the school and was like, hey, I've picked them up, they're sick. Oh, okay, right. Mum's just giving you the day off. You've got mum wrapped around your finger. Yeah, yeah, your, no. Then she called the school and was like, hey, I've picked them up. They're sick. Oh, okay, right. Mum's just giving you the day off. You've got mum wrapped around your finger. Yeah, yeah, your mum's a soft touch. There's no way I could have pulled that with Bev. God, no. Christine wouldn't have had a bar of that.

Christine wouldn't have wanted us hanging around the house. No. She was disappointed when the bus got us home early. As long as I practiced my piano and passed my exam, my mum was like, she's right. Not with boys, because it's more farm-baked biscuits they eat. Oh, my God. The more hours they're in the house, the more they're going to eat.

Back in the olden days, 1996, don't call it that. That's not what it's called. It was actually 10 years ago, so calm down. It's absolutely impossible that 1996 is the olden days. When I was 16 years old, I was driving on my own. Late at night, I got pulled over by a cop. I was still on my learner's licence, and I should have been driving alone or after 10

and I panicked and I lied to the cop and gave him my sister's credentials. She's two years older than me, I had a full license. He didn't believe me, so he rang my mum to confirm who I was and like a true champ, mum fully backed me up and confirmed my story with the cops.

Oh, no way. Christine also wouldn't have done that. She would have let me suffer for breaking the rules. There's so many people that rang wouldn't have done that she would have let me suffer for breaking the rules there's so many people that rang their parents mid OE being like

I got no more money yes help just another thousand please I can't feel I would have had a lecture about what have you

spent your money on yeah yeah well what have you done yeah just surviving mum just food is a pub cruel surviving water

just liquids keeping hydrated when I was 22 and I was tearing it up in London I was spending money like it was my full time job Just food. Is a pub cruel surviving? Water, just liquids, keeping hydrated. When I was 22 and I was tearing it up in London, I was spending money like it was my full-time job. Pubs, gigs, travel, the works. Naturally, I turned to the bank of divorced parents. Mum's $200 was my credit card bailout fund,

while Dad's $200 kept me alive with rent and ramen. Neither knew about each other's contributions, so I essentially ran a two-parent sponsorship program. Financial genius or morally questionable? You decide. That's just called surviving. Yeah. I snuck out of a party when I was in high school with a bad group of people.

Things went south, and I was in a dangerous situation. I called my dad crying, explaining where I was, and I needed to leave no joke. He rocked up in his dressing gown and boxers and walked in, gave one of the lads a clean right hook before grabbing me and walking out. Sums up pretty well how he is as a father. This is the thing, though. Like, we talked about this recently, eh?

Like, no matter what, they'll be so mad at you, you'll get in trouble, whatever. But, like, you call them. Yeah. They'll come and get you. My dad did it, too. I think I, as a teenager, I got myself into a sticky sitch and one of my friends called my parents being like, um, we may need you. And my dad was like, right.

I'm there. Pulled up. Next day, like, won't talk to you the next day. Day after. Shitty about it. Need a chat. Bye. I used to sell weed. I got ripped off. My mum gave me two grand so I could get started in my entrepreneurial business again. Oh my god. Mum. Oh, my God.

Mum. In the 90s, I was being picked on by a teacher. My parents didn't believe it and thought it was my problem, so my grandad said he'd come down and have a talk to the teacher. I found that the teacher needed a slight attitude adjustment and gave it to him physically. Oh, my God. Imagine your grandad whooping a teacher's ass.

Back in the day. What's the story there? Goodness. Yeah. There was another person that had, where is it? My dad, they, oh, my dad bailed me out when he went into school to collect my PlayStation portable when I got caught by the school renting it out at lunchtime with an 18 plus game of Grand Theft Auto in it.

My dad wasn't annoyed. He would just pick up the PlayStation. He was impressed with my business mind. Didn't tell mum either. Didn't tell mum. Yeah, that's good business. It's entrepreneurial. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Didn't tell mum either. Didn't tell mum. Yeah, that's good business. It's entrepreneurial. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Didn't tell mum. I ran out of money on my OE and had to call mum to bail me out and fly me home from the UK. Oh, that's bad. Like, I've run out. I need to come home.

It's not just temporarily, I need a prop to get to the next pay. It's like, I'm done. Oh, please get me home. Mum's really weighing that up. Like, do I just give them like a couple of hundy now and then I'm always giving them a couple of hundy?

Yeah. Or do I just cut my losses and just pay for the tickets? Yeah. Yeah. I'm nearly 56 and I still tap my folks for a lift home after a big night. Mum! No! You get an Uber.

Travelled South America for a year with a long-term partner who decided to end our relationship in rural Ecuador. Oh, Ecuador's beautiful. I know, but don't leave me alone in rural Ecuador. There's bananas. Oh, God. Mum had me booked into the hotel and four plane rides home organised within two hours and a car to get me to the airport.

Yeah. Good old mum. Mum works for the flight centre, doesn't she? Mum picked me up from town at 3am. I was a bit blind to even tell her where I was, but luckily a small town. She just drove around. Found you.

And then found you. Oh, amazing. I was flatting, had a big night out in big knee-length zip-up boots. I got home at 2.30am. I couldn't get the boots off. So I called my mum at her new boyfriend's house for them to come over and get me out of the boots. It was hysterical.

I love this. I love this. Parents to the rescue. Mum, I'm trapped in the boots. I think I'd just out of the boots. It was hysterical. I love this. I love this. Parents to the rescue. Mum, I'm tripped in the boots. I think I'd just sleep in the boots. We've all slept in boots before. Welcome in the morning like, you're a mess, bro.

Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. What? It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheeze. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it, okay?

I read it. Give us a review.