ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th February 2025

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

Lonely Japanese Women are going to Prison for company Which generation falls off e-scooters the most? SLP: What kind of toothbrush do you use? Average length of adult times Top 6 Signs you have a bad insurance company Fletch is an aisle lice Random ice cream shop in NYC Grammys recap What decision did AI make for you? What day did you avoid in school? Hayley got a special email Fact of the Day! What advice have you always remembered?    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network,

this is Flesh, One and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. Play ZM's Flesh, One and Hayley. Thanks, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. I'm kind of enjoying the idea of this spicy week with a Thursday off.

Do you know what I mean? It kind of feels like a Thursday today. Three, one, two. No, three, one, one, two. And then tomorrow's mini Friday. Tomorrow's mini Friday. Then we have a mini Saturday. And then we have a real Friday. A real Friday.

Then a real Saturday. It's great stuff. I mean, I just, it's almost the perfect structure for me. Just a breather. Well, some people do this if they work four days a week. Yeah. But you'd take a Monday or a Friday. I'm taking a Monday.

No, I recently talked to someone who takes Thursday off every week. Really? Because public holidays are most of the time either Monday or Friday. Oh, right. Like your Easter's and stuff. But do they have to lock in a day and then always stick to that day? They take Thursday off and then if there's a Monday off, they might cheekily take a Friday off.

Oh, that's good. It's good from them. Now they might cheekily take a Friday off. Oh, that's good. It's good from them. Now they're working just Tuesday, Wednesday. I mean, that's perfect. And they're the dream. That's the dream. That's the dream. What's in the top six today? Well, insurance companies. New Zealand's best insurance companies as voted by the customer. Oh, okay. Which, you know, I think

probably the most high ranking way to rank your insurance companies because if the customer's happy, that's the most important thing, right? As we are customers of insurance companies, unless, of course, you two own insurance companies and you've kept that quiet. Yeah, we've got one. Do you? Yeah.

You should sign up with us. A-A-A-M-I-I. A-A-A-M-I-M-I. It was weird that you tried to randomly invent an insurance company and you literally named A-A-M-I-I. A-A-M-I-M-I. It was weird that you tried to randomly invent an insurance company and you literally named A-A-M-I. No, it's A-A-M-I Insure Tower. It's A-A-A-A-M-I. Tower I-I-A.

Tower I-I-A. Tower I-I-A. A-A-A-M-I-A-I. We're like a combination of every insurance state. Yeah. That's what you're called. Just to try to when-A-Y. We're like a combination of every insurance estate. Yeah. That's what you're called. Just to try to win people at Googling. We've got a great couple across here.

We've got a great insurance company. Oh my gosh. I've got the top six signs that you have a bad insurance company. And then you should switch to A-A-A-A-I-A-I-A-I-T-A-Y-A-I-A-I. Next on the show though. How older women are combating the epidemic that is loneliness. This is, I mean, I know it sounds sad, but I'm actually really looking forward to this stage of my life.

Your retirement? No, this little idea that these women are doing. What's next? ZM? Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Japan? I think, isn't Japan in general having a bit of a problem with its ageing population? Because where...

Yes, all of our all Asians, of a problem with its ageing population because yes all of our all Asians Hayley no ageing Japan Japan is having a problem with their ageing population

with the amount of Asians you can't go to Japan and then be racist about there being so many Asians god so many Asians ageing yeah they don't have

the young people and there's young people aren't repopulating and apparently like amazing place to buy a house because like, they don't have the young people. Because young people aren't repopulating. And apparently, like, amazing place to buy a house. Because, like, they just don't have the population to buy and fill the houses. So they're going cheap.

Yeah, and they've been, like, trying to encourage people to move out to, like, out of the city. That's right. And they were, like, paying couples to have children and move to the burbs. I've seen quite a few people who are foreign like Americans and English people that move to Japan and buy houses. Yeah. And they're like, I can't afford a house back home. This is insane. And here I am. Look at this crazy house. I've just heard. I know. A little bit of a language barrier. Yeah.

And really low roofs. We're tall. We are a tall show. You'd be banging your head on the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So aging is a bit of a... The aging Asians, they are suffering from loneliness because they don't have visitors and they're aging and they don't know what to do with themselves. So apparently in Japan, particularly with women,

they're committing crimes to go to prison. So what, they say they have people to talk to in a community? So that they are part of a happy community, they're taken care of, they don't really have a worry in the world. Yeah, but you're not free to do whatever you want. So apparently the number of seniors aged over 65 and older has quadrupled in the last 20 years in women's prisons. Particularly the largest women's prison.

What crime? Okay, so say you're lonely and you're like, well, I think prison's for me. Three lovely meals a day. Yeah. A cellmate, a friend. Somewhere to work out. Yeah, other people I can talk to.

We can play cards. Perhaps a lover. Yeah, maybe. You know, later in life. What is the crime that you're committing? Great train robbery. Yeah, that's great.

Non-violent. No, but you're over 65. You can't be leaping from carriages easily. Yeah, but if I fall between and get mullied up by the train, problem solved, you know? Yeah, actually. If I succeed, I'm the crazy old 60s pro-girl that robbed a train. Cool legend.

You don't want to be going to a high security if you do, say, a bank robbery. No, but you also want to be in there longer than 12 months. Yeah. But I don't want to do anything violent. I don't want to be going to a high security if you do, like, say, like a bank robbery. No, but you also want to be in there longer than 12 months. Yeah. But I don't want to do anything violent. I don't want to hurt anyone. No, I don't want to hurt anybody. I think big fraud or, like, big theft.

Yeah. Right? You could walk into a bank and just be like, this is a robbery. And you wouldn't even have the intent of robbing them, not have any weapons on you, apart from the note, and you'd end up in prison. Yeah. But what if the judge was like, oh, you're such a cute 65 year old he's a home detention bracelet you'd be like god damn it yeah i wanted some friends i'd tamper with the bracelet yeah just keep pushing it so it's also

like a financial thing they're feeling neglected financially because their family aren't looking after them so they're just sitting there not unable to afford things and you know this is like a problem worldwide i was reading another article about how women later in life, because of the financial burdens and pressures of living and existing, that they're just going back to flatting with the gals. Well, I was reading the other day about co-habitating, like kind of not rest homes or apartments, but like living spaces. Yeah. That like people that are getting older are moving. Like kind of not rest homes or apartments, but like living spaces.

That like people that are getting older are moving. And how fun would that be moving in with all your friends? I know. And they're saying like when you've got the rising cost of groceries and healthcare and insurance and all these things, let alone like trying to find a home, that women in particular as well, they're coming together and they're going like, well, let's get a little place together and we can share the food and chat and break bread each night and then go to bed. But also at that age you're stuck in your ways and I feel like people would irritate you more than when you were flatting when you were younger. It has to be the right person.

Also, if you went to prison to make friends and retire, there's no booze. You wouldn't survive. I wouldn't survive. No espresso martinis or Aperols. Yeah, I'd be like, when's cocktail hour? That's a good point. Five o'clock somewhere, am I right? Let's go. They're like, Hayley, we've got some terrible news for you. You can have some milk.

Yeah. What milk? Or some water from the... Or some long life milk too. Yeah. Room temperature UHT. You'd have to brew your own cider. I'd make...

Toilet wine. Toilet wine. I'd make toilet wine. I'd make toilet wine for sure. With a yeast starter. We don't even need to talk about that. Yeah, yeah, no,ilet wine. I'd make toilet wine. I'd make toilet wine for sure. With a yeast starter. We don't even need to talk about that. Yeah, yeah. No, don't worry.

I'll figure it out. Oh. Yeah, come to my cell. Nope. Mama's special hooch. Hayley's hooch in cell 35. Falling down between the train carriages while jumping from, you know, carriage to carriage

is more appealing at this stage. It sounds more appealing, doesn't it? Getting crushed by a train. We were just, we're going to do a bit of a Grammys update later in the show, but we were just referencing Benson Burns. I called it a gay sparkly little suit. And we looked

because, you know, Benson Burns loves doing his flips and Fletch, you see, one of my favourite sentences so far, which was one day he's going to hit a wet patch and he's going to cum asunder. He'll be in a neck brace and I will say, well, you shouldn't be showing off. Told you that

it happened. That's what my mum and dad would say. I told you that would happen. I just, every time I see someone do a flip, I'm like, watch the neck. Watch the neck. I'm just saying, watch the neck. He's flipping off of like high grain pianos. Watch the neck. Speaking's flipping off of high-grain pianos. Now, watch the neck. Speaking of accidents, ACC have released stats about e-scooters.

Smooth transition, by the way. Thank you, Paul. This break's had it all. This break's had it all. It's had it all and it's not even done. It's only just started and it's had it all. It would have been smoother if you didn't acknowledge it. Passion for the music.

Tie from music artist to Grammy news. That's current events. That's pop culture. Yeah. Funny joke about coming asunder. Leading on to an injury in a neck brace. We're laughing out louder. Smooth transition.

Speaking of accidents. Speaking of accidents. Yeah. ACC have paid out almost $15 million for scooter injuries last year. Now that's up 50% on the year before. And that's why the government are saying, yeah, maybe we might have to have some rules. Yeah, but we won't follow them.

You don't have to wear a helmet. You can be on your phone. It doesn't matter. And I don't even think, like I think if they catch you drunk on them, I don't even think legally. It's not driving under the influence. Yeah, so they want that to be a thing. Even though every day when I come to work and I get on a scooter, it's like

have you been drinking? And I have to be like, no. Does it ask? Does it ask you? Yeah, it does. Because of the time of day. Yeah, because I scan in like quarter to five in the morning. It's like, please don't drink in scooter.

I'm like, I'm just going to work. Hurry up. Also, if you have been drinking, all you tap is no, right? It's like, are you over 18 to see this website? Oh, of course I am. Oh, of course I am. Yeah, of course I am. Well. Of course you are, yeah.

The biggest claims by age group. What do you reckon? Well, now I'm thinking is it larrikins? Do you remember when Nicola Willis fell off her scooter? Yeah. Big time. It was captured on film. That was quite funny.

That was the worst part about it. It was a lot. No denying that. Biggest age group for claims in 2024. I just think because of them being the age group that uses them the most,

it would have to be under 30s. 20 to 29 is the biggest age group followed by 10 to 19 year olds followed by 30 to 39 year olds followed by 40 to 49 year olds. Okay. And then 30 to 39-year-olds, followed by 40 to 49-year-olds. Okay. And then 50 to 59.

Yeah, because they're not really using them as much. No. I reckon that's got to be it, right? Yep. I mean, all jokes aside, let's not forget, my bloody friend nearly died last year. I know. Well, I was at the lights yesterday coming back from the gym

and a guy had a private scooter. Yeah. And this is the issue that they have and why they might bring in some rules. Because some of them can go like 120km. I beg one's pardon. And this guy went through the lights yesterday just hooned through. He would have

had no helmet and he would have been I reckon going 80 or 90km. Like in downtown Auckland. I was like, dude, have you come off that? you're like a vegetable. Yeah, yeah, totally. We're going to have to set up a GoFundMe for you. My friend, I mean, like, we went through a whole thing

because he had had a couple of pints, but he wasn't like intoxicated. He just hit a pothole. Flew. Yeah. In a coma. Like nearly died. That's wild, eh? Oh, they're very dangerous.

Silly little pole. Wait, can I finish? It's next. Yes, Vaughan. I was going to Wrap this all up in a bow With a bit of a personal Oh okay

Tie in as well But that's what Hayley just did Yeah I know No it's great But keep bouncing Because you know My mum's got an e-bike What

Did I not tell you Because wait E-bike scooters So this is what I'd like To talk about Yeah yeah yeah Have you got e-bike stats Yeah there are

Bicycle related claims I want specific E-bike stats And here's why My mum said My new e-bike zippy She bought herself an e-bike stats? Yeah, there are bicycle related claims. I want specific e-bike stats and here's why. My mum said my new e-bike is zippy. She bought herself an e-bike and I'm like,

Christine, I'm so proud of you because she wants to keep active. She said, I don't want to be one of those people old people with a hunchback that shuffles. That's what she always says.

And I said to her, oh, how fast is it going? She said, well, when I finish my ride I can see how fast my top speed and my average speed. Her top speed

was 54 kilometres an hour. Jeepers, that's a car. I was like, mum, that's as fast as a scooter and you've always said scooters are death traps. Yeah.

Except your centre of gravity is higher and you're of the opinion you're on a bike. She's helmeting though, right? Of course. Well, there's a story here. ACC have a press release

from Jan. Personal, and then he's back into the stats. From Jan 22, as our older population find freedom on two wheels, cycling-related injuries for those over 65 plus have increased by more than 100%. I'm worried. Every time she's like, top speed, they have 56 kilometres an hour. I'm like, mum.

Slow down. Slow down. Turn it down. Slow down. Where's she going? She reckons it's on a little bit of a downhill. Oh, Christine. I tell her, don't you go past that quarry.

Don't go past the quarry. The blind corner, the steep hill. I was like, you stay away from that quarry. Does she wear a fluoro jacket? Yeah. I think she wears a high vest. Get her in a fluoro jacket. Play.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little pole, silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole What kind of toothbrush do you use? That's today's silly little pole.

Electric or manual? Well, do you know? That's today's silly little poll. Electric or manual? Well, do you know, I used to always be electric, and then I receded my gums. Too much. And the dentist told me they're just chainsaws for your gums. Too aggressive. Too aggressive. Because I'm going to Turkey to get gum implants.

Gum implants. Yeah, nice. Because of my receding gum line. Yeah, I'm a bit receding. I do a soft toothbrush now. That's super soft. That's what they said, it should be soft. Gum and plants. Yeah, nice. Those are my receding gum lines. Yeah, I'm a bit receding. I do a soft toothbrush now. That's super soft. That's what they said. It should be soft.

Rotato. Rotato, rotato. Rotato, rotato. It means... Rotate. Rotate. Rotate. Go round in circles.

Round in circles and soft. Soft, soft, soft, soft, soft. Soft, soft, soft, soft. I still do a flick from the top. Flick down. Flick, flick, flick. Flick, flick. But they've got those ones now that are, my best friend's got one.

They're like sonic, so they're not like ah, ah, ah, ah. They're more like You take the head off. And it's all go. Yeah. She's all go. It's got a handy little travel case too. Handy little travel case. And they won't fall over in the Middle East. Toothbrush. And really big writing. Hello, Qatar. That is my toothbrush.

What, Thailand? Hello, Thailand. I think Thailand's still pro-vibrato. You're thinking the Philippines. No, Thailand. Remember we talked about this on the Christmas podcast special with the lineup. Yeah. Was it Thailand? Yeah, that was Thailand. Remember we talked about this on the Christmas podcast special with the lineup. Yeah. Was it Thailand?

Yeah, that was Thailand. Well, you're not allowed to travel into Thailand with adult fun toys. Because they want you to buy their very... Because they want you... Exactly. It's basically a tariff. Yeah. So, what kind of toothbrush do you use?

This is so close. Really? 51% manual, 49% electric. Manual, just... It doesn't get closer. Yeah. Apart from the perfect split. That's amazing. That's a lot more electric toothbrushes than I would have thought.

Yeah. Ashley says, I have both, but I use my manual one now. I don't know the way my electric ones makes my face tingle. Now plus, it's a bit full on when I'm half asleep. Oh, yeah. Also, did you hate with the electric one, it was like 30 seconds each quarter, so you'd have to brush your teeth for two minutes?

Yeah, I don't brush my teeth for two minutes. Whereas when you're doing manual, you're just like, sometimes it might be two minutes. Sometimes before bed, I'm like, sometimes I brush my teeth for 30 minutes because I start brushing my teeth and then start walking around the house doing something else. Then I'll make a smoothie and I'll let it hang for a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long have I been at this for? These things are clean. Rachel said both. Electric in the morning and manual before bed. I use the super fine bristle manual one and find it's better at getting food from between my teeth. Oh, yeah.

Before bed. She's got a reasoning. You can't fault her on that one. Lucy said all that arm moving. I don't need to work out first or last thing of the day. Thank you very much. She's got a reasoning. You can't fault her on that one. Lou said, all that arm moving, I don't need to work out first or last thing of the day. Thank you very much. It's electric.

Tony said, I feel like the electric cleans better. Yeah. But I also feel, Tony, like a hard bristled brush cleans better.

And it might in the moment, but it's not good for the teeth, is it? No, I'm totally not. And that's the electric. My lovely dentist. I could never find,

for the electric toothbrush, a soft head. Like the softest. Yeah, they were always hard-headed. An electric toothbrush is what I imagine sticking my head in a blender feels like, so no, I'll stick to brushing them by hand, thank you, said Shelley. Shelley, I think, yeah, there'd be a vast difference there. I think so too. Actually, Shelley, can you not be so silly and actually just think about that?

Putting your head into a blender. It's not even remotely similar. That's what a silly observation. My biggest problem with Shelley's silly hypothetical is I've never seen a blender big enough to get her head in. Oh, my head's far too big for it.

I use a Nutribullet, so that thing's slim. Oh, that's not going in there. I don't have a Vitamix. What do you mean? You're so skinny, you could get in a Nutribullet. God.

He's there. Yeah, your head is so skinny and weird could get in a Nutribullet. God. He's there. Fire. Your head is so skinny and weird and pointy. It would definitely fit into the tiny opening of a Nutribullet. Oh my God, stop it. You guys flatter me. Steph said, I can't keep up with the admin of charging an electric toothbrush anymore. It literally sits on the holder for 24 hours of the day.

When you had an electric toothbrush, how frantic were you about a pre rebasing clean? My daughter's got one and she washed the head but then there's still residue and she plops it on and it gets manky. I know, they do get manky. Also, do you remember when your electric toothbrush would die and then you'd have to manual the electric?

Which is embarrassing. It's like pushing your car to the electric. Which is embarrassing. You'd be like, oh God. It's like pushing your car to the petrol station. How embarrassing. I just feel like I can't get enough toothpaste on the tiny little head of the electric toothbrush

is Alexandra. There's plenty of toothpaste. No, I'm like her. I'm a big squirter. No. Aaron's like that. You just need a pee. It's a pee.

No. It's a pee. It's too much. It's a bean and it's a big bean. It's a broad bean of toothpaste. pea. No. It's a pea. It's a bean. Too much. Too much fur. It's a bean and it's a big bean. It's a broad bean of toothpaste. No, long bean. Rosie says both, but thorough floss prior. Soft electric for the first two minutes and then a quick, medium, hard manual brush for

the problem areas. No. Mostly behind the front teeth and tongue. Just manual brush in the morning. It works. I have zero fillings and I'm 33. Okay. Well, who are we to say?

You're approaching recession age now where the gums are going to start going back because you're hard brushing the teethies. Quite like my receding gums because it makes my teeth look bigger. Yeah, way better. How much worse would it be

if your gums grew instead of covering your teeth and you had to brush them hard to keep them back? Like cuticles. Like vines. And they grew down your teeth. Oh, yeah,

and then you just had pink teeth. Oh, I don't like it at all. Gummy teeth. had pink teeth. Oh, I don't like it at all. Gummy teeth. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. Whatsoever, that's still a little palm. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Also snubbed at the Grammys. Billie, not a single one. I think she was nominated for like nine as well, her and Taylor. I thought you were going to say the one-litre dove. Yeah, I was saying... Was snubbed at the Grammys. I was like, nominated for like nine as well, her and Taylor. You could say the one litre dove was snubbed at the Grammys. I was like, it is a great body wash. It was snubbed. I love a dove body wash. But it was snubbed at the Grammys.

Lost out to Sabrina body wash. Yeah, Sabrina's body wash. Big song, pump, pump. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so what would you think? So here's a study. It's called, I cannot say the words, but it's called IELT.

This is how they have defined sex in this survey. Okay. It's, how do I say? It's P and V. Okay. Okay, that's what they have called this. Boring old hetero sex. Oh, boring hetero.

None of the hands up, just that. And they looked at the time in which it takes to finish. The average couple. The average couple to finish. Should we all have a guess, including foreplay? No. Okay. When it is in the thing.

When the main event, not the opening act. Yes. Sometimes the opening act's better than the main event, not the opening act. Yeah. Yes. Sometimes the opening act's better than the main event, but the main act. But. IELTS. It's going to be minutes, right?

Can you send to the group chat what IELTS? Is it an acronym? It's Intravaginal Regulatory Latency Time. Oh, wow. Like a proper scientific. Yeah. The time it takes when it's in until it celebrates.

So this is an actual scientific study. Actual scientific study they did. It's not like Durex have done a study and asked a bunch of people. No, no, no, no. Okay. Right. Because if Durex asked me, I'd lie. I'd ask Durex what it wanted me to say. The Society for Sex Therapy and Research did this.

What's everybody else saying? I don't want to say mine because it'll Sex Therapy and Research did this. What's everybody else saying? Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't want to say my, like, because it'll be like 45 minutes, am I right? Probably 45 minutes. No, okay.

The average amount of time that it typically lasts, three to seven minutes. Oh, yeah. Well, we're busy. We've got things to do. Wham, bam. You know?

We're busy. We're busy. We've got things to do. Three to seven minutes. And then, as part of this study as well, they asked people what the ideal amount of time is. Like how long they actually enjoy it for.

Two to five minutes. Seven to 13. Oh, yeah. What do you think? What do you think? What do I think? What is my take on this? I've never set a timer.

Well, it's hard. Oh, yeah. I've never set a timer. Sometimes it might feel like it's been 10 minutes and then you look at the clock and you're like, how is it 11.50? Absolutely. There's no way. I also think it's difficult to

reflect on it from a personal level because it's not including anything else. Yes. It's not including all the before, you know, any other stuff. So I'm sort of like, oh, if the actual thing, maybe that's fine. Maybe you kissed for one minute beforehand.

It's funny, they posted this online in TikTok. I love that TikTok came out being like, meh, what? As if. How about 30 to 45? Well, people don't want it that long. That's a long... But they've done it.

They've said, what's the amount it's actually happening and what's the amount of people actually want it? Actually want it? 7 to 13 minutes. Yeah, like I said, we're busy. We've got things to do. So if you just hang on a little bit longer.

That's all anybody is asking for. No. We're good. With where it's at. There's stuff to do, man. Yeah, okay. Life goes on. Life's short, you know.

Can't be spending it lying down doing that. God. Yuck. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Well, the top insurance companies as voted by the people who have insurance with them has been released. The top and the bottom ones.

So I'm guessing the bottom ones are the people that were turned down for insurance claims. The ones scored poorly in customer satisfaction with below average ratings for house and contents insurance, value for money, customer support and tailored advice. What have we got? Are you going to name the companies? Well, they might advertise and I don't want to cost the company any money. Oh, that's fair. No, that's

really good for you. So you're like, company guy. I'm drawing the line at naming the bad ones because I don't want to get an email later today saying, Vaughan, you shitcanned a couple of big advertisers. Well, not our opinion. And to me, I'll tell you who's more important than the listener

looking for good insurance. The company that makes money. That pays my wages. That pays your mortgage. Well, can you send it to us? Because I want to know if mine's on there. Our mics aren't live, right? I'm not. Yeah, no, they're live.

This is live right now. I'm being a corporate shill. No, this is not pre-recorded. This is live. This is not pre-recorded. This is going straight into New Zealand's ears. I thought we did a podcast and just took breaks. No.

No. No. By the top performers, FMG, Farmers Mutual Group. Good performer. Now, if they're not advertising, they should be now. They the top performers, FMG, Farmers Mutual Group. Good performer. Now, if they're not advertising, they should be now. They should be now, yeah. They topped multiple categories, contents and car insurance, and has been seen as the people's choice for eight years in a row.

Wow. Can you go with them if you're not a farmer? Yeah. Like I'm an inner city guy. What about my diamond ring? I don't know. Maybe give them a call on 0800 FMG FMG. FMG M? I don't know. Maybe give them a call on 0800 FMG FMG. FMG? I don't know what that is.

FMG. I reckon it's 0800 FMG and just wait and see what happens. Yeah. See what happens. Someone will answer or it'll go and then that's not a number. Well, I've got the top six signs you're with a bad insurance company. Number six on the list. When you make a claim, you have to tell them how to spell fire.

Yeah. Wait, so it burnt down. I'm currently dealing with an insurance company now, and every time they ask you a question and you provide the answer, you go back into the 10 business day line. Oh. You know who they learned that trick off? Councils.

Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Councils love that one. Just a couple of questions about the exterior of the house. I know I've already given you that answer. You. Yeah. Councils love that one. Just a couple of questions about the exterior of the house. I know I've already given you that answer. You have to. Back of the line.

Back of the line. Number five on the list of the top six signs you have a bad insurance company. They're surprised to learn that theft is illegal and thought the rules were finders keepers. Yeah. No, that's not an official rule. Not the thing, no. Yeah, I know. That's why you've got a bad insurance company.

Number four on the list of the top six signs you've got a bad insurance company. When you're on hold for five hours, there's no Dave Dobbin, no Brooke Fraser, and no 660. Wow, they can't afford that. I called someone. It wasn't insurance. It was the bank. Was it the bank? And it asked me what I would like to listen to.

Easy listening, Kiwi music, or nothing. And I went, nothing. Proudly. I would have gone easy listening Kiwi music or nothing. And I went nothing. Proudly. I would have gone easy listening. Something you need, as long as it doesn't repeat. It's when you call those places and they have like 30 seconds of loop of MIDI.

And then it goes, yeah, MIDI. Non-descript piano music. Yes. And then it goes click. And you're like, hello.

And they're like, thank you for your patience. Yeah. Our call centre is experiencing heavy volume. Yes. We will be with you as soon as possible. Your call is important to us. Yeah.

Is that? If it was, you'd have a local call centre and more staff. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. By the way, when they answered, they said, kia ora. And I was like, have I got a local call centre or do I have a very switched on Indonesian call centre?

Because the You should have tested them. Thrown in a na-ni. You could have ma-te-wa-ed them just to check. Give them a little ma-te-wa. Number three on the list of the top six signs you've got to ban an insurance company. When you ask to make your premium

payments fortnightly, they think you mean the video game and tell you they can't accept V-Bucks. Okay. You're like, no, no, no. Not on fortnight. I want to pay every other week. Number two on the list of the top six signs you've got a bad insurance company. They get jealous of your plans when you ring them to tell them

that you need travel insurance. Oh, where are you going? I'm going to go to Disneyland. Oh man, I wish I could go to Disneyland. Hope you have a good time. Must be nice. Number one on the list of the top six times you go to a bad insurance company. When you make a claim and ask about the

depreciation of your car, they say, yeah, we all get a bit sad about our cars when they get smashed in. And you're like, no, no, no, no. Not depression. Depreciation. Yeah. Two very different things. Yeah, I think my brother had that. Yeah, my brother gets it. Yeah, that runs in our family, depreciation.

He's going down 25% a year, is he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sadly. Yeah, but the good thing is tax. Yeah. Depreciation, that's another top six altogether. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. There's a new name for the likes of you. Why are you looking at me? Isle Lice. Isle Lice. Isle Lice is so funny. Like head lice.

This refers to the people who get up real quick the minute the plane lands. Bing. Hayley. But start inching forward. Start inching forward. Wait, if I'm Isle Lice, Hayley. But start inching forward. Start inching forward. Wait, if I'm Isle Lice, Hayley's Isle Lice. I'm Isle Lice, but I don't inch forward.

I don't inch forward. I don't inch forward. I mean, I'll get a good spot. I don't know why lice has become the go-to for, I don't know how ordinary lice work, head lice, et cetera. Well, they're just annoying. Do they bunch up? In a certain spot. This comes off the back of gate lice.

Yes. Which are people who get to their gate early and just stand right in front of the part waiting. We're all going on the same plane. I hate getting to the gate early. Same. What a waste of my time. They reckon the gate lice are there so they can get overhead storage compartments. There's plenty.

There's plenty. No, there's not plenty. Especially in America, if you're last on a flight, they will check your bag. And so then you have to go to the conveyor belt. It can be 45 minutes, maybe. And so gate lights are like wanting to be first in their boarding group so that they can get their bag overhead. And that's why you sometimes, Vaughn, miss out on overhead bags. I don't give a shit.

There's nothing in my bag breakable. I just push it. I just go. You see some people panic when I do it. Are my laptops in there? Yeah, I don't care. You take up too much room. Yeah.

Oh, I'm only there because that person. Or take it up with that person who took your room because this isn't a Vaughn problem. This is a you problem. I'll definitely like, I'll definitely unbuckle. You know what? I'm a rule breaker and a criminal. I will unbuckle my belt. Before the bing?

Quietly before the bing. Okay. When I feel confident that the vehicle has come to a stop. I always wait for the bing because we might have to shuffle. Because you're a conformist loser. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

I'm a rebel punk. Yeah. So I always do that. It's loose, but I don't make a scene. I don't a conformist loser. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I'm a rebel punk. Yeah. So I always do that. It's loose, but I don't make a scene. I don't flip. I just, quietly.

I'm ready to go. Boom, I'm up. And if I am C or D, sure, I'm jumping into the aisle. Call me aisle lice and I'm grabbing my things,

but then I will wait. No, I think what makes you aisle lice is if you grabbed your stuff and started inching forward. Before people. Which is insane. That's rude. Why don't if you grabbed your stuff and started inching forward. Before people. Which is insane. That's rude.

Why don't you do that? That's rude. I don't do that. Also, we were saying people can go aisle by aisle, but that also depends on people being able to get up real quick, grab their stuff from over there and get going. We wait. No.

Row by row, we wait. I hate it. If someone from behind me, if I'm late doing my thing, and someone from behind, I'm in sixth and they're in eighth, and they start coming forward. Ah someone from behind me, if I'm like doing my thing and someone from behind I'm in 6 and they're in 8 and they start coming forward. Yeah, there's an etiquette. You're really struggling with that word.

There's an etiquette about it. No, he's got a dead right actually. There's an antiquity to it. And there is. We wait. We go one by one by one. When people start moving forward, I will like physically put myself in their way

and be like no yeah you wait you wait it's a privilege that I'm in six I mean you're aisle lice

that's entitled aisle lice you're blocking the aisle lice they're the aisle lice you're a blocker you're sort of a nitcomb I'm a nitcomb you're blocking them

I'm the nitcomb of the earwaves you're a tea tree or you're a tea tree shampoo and a nitcomb I am for me the reason I want to get my bag is because maybe I've got my headphones I'm the knit comb of the year You're a tea tree shampoo I'm the knit comb For me the reason I want to get my bag is because Maybe I've got my headphones I want to just organise my stuff

Get your stuff off So that then when we're ready to go I'm like good to go Oh god I don't know what that's called I leave my headphones on I do sometimes too or around the neck No I want them in my bag because I'm straight out I don't know if there's going to be a set of decks. What if I'm asked to spin some decks?

You could walk out into arrivals and there could be a set of decks waiting. And they're like, is there a DJ in the house? And you'd be like, what? I think you found him. I've got these Sony headphones. Munich. Why are we in Munich? Because it's a start.

It's just a layover place. It's just a place. I feel like I've laid over in Munich quite a lot. Right. 13 past seven. I was picturing Wellington Airport for some reason when I had my headphones on walking up. Wellington.

Maybe Christchurch. I'm in Munich. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Would you enjoy this? So this is literally just opened about a month ago in New York City. And it's gone viral. It's gone viral.

It's gone huge. It's called Surprise Scoop. It's a New York City-based ice cream shop. Yeah. With one thing on the menu. It's a surprise scoop. That's the only, okay, great. One thing, surprise ice cream.

You go, hello, I would like a surprise ice cream. And they give you surprise ice cream. It could be any colour. Some of them fluoro green. Some of them white. It could be any colour. Some of them fluoro green. Some of them white. Some of them are pink. Some of them whatever. And they've got cream on top.

They put a little cherry. Oh, I don't want cream. Cream on your ice cream? I don't want cream on my ice cream. This is America though. This is America. They put cream on everything. I always say at Copenhagen Cones at Mount Maunganui,

I say no cream, thank you. No cream, thank you. I know, but America. They'll put cream on a cracker. Two scoops. Yes, I'll have some caramel sauce. No cream, thank you. No cream, thank you. I know, but America. Large waffle cone. They'll put cream on a cracker. Two scoops. Yes, I'll have some caramel sauce. Yep. No cream, thank you.

Well, this has cream, cherries, sprinkles, sauce, everything. But you can only ask for the surprise ice cream. And then you don't know what flavour it is. It's like a flavour roulette. I like it. It's like coloured. The colour, if it's bright green, it's not going to be lime. Because they're not going to do real yuck.

You go into the store and you see. Go into the store, can you not just be like, I want that one? No. No, all you do is surprise scoop. That's it. There's no choice. And it's a little hole in the little shelf. No. None of the flavours are shown.

You go in and there's a sign saying, listen, no refunds, no options. You're buying an ice cream right now. And you put your money in and there's a sign saying, listen, no refunds, no options, you're buying an ice cream right now and you put your money in and out comes the scoop. So a big scoop of ice cream comes out and you don't know, even when you've got it in your hand, what flavour that is. Wait, so it's a hole in the wall? Yes. It's inside a shop though?

You go in, right, and it's white brick, I'm looking at it now. So it's an ice cream glory surprise. Yes. I did just say it and I didn't know if we were allowed to say that. It's a glorious hole in the wall. Yeah. And you get an ice cream out of it. And you get goodies.

So I've seen this. This is all like Instagram and TikTok have made these things big, like in Italy and stuff over summer, you can get like wine and Aperol from a hole in the wall. And they're like the tiniest hole. They're so cute. And like a brick wall. No, this is like a full shop.

Like you're in a line and stuff. Right. And then all you can ask for is a surprise scoop. But then like no matter what comes out, it could be any colour, but it's just a surprise. The flavour. I still wouldn't like that because I wouldn't want a banana or something.

Well, they do that, but also they've got signs all over the wall saying like, this is life, get ready to be disappointed. It's happened in my life mantra. Yes. You've got to all over the wall saying like, this is life, get ready to be disappointed. It's happened in my life mantra. Yes. You've got to manage expectations. Absolutely. Because life is just disappointment after disappointment.

Oh my God, it's kicking the guts after kicking the balls, after kicking the butt. You're getting kicked somewhere, kicking the throat. Sometimes you get kicked in the teeth and you're like, oh man, that one really hurt. Yeah, kick me in the balls next time. It's all about managing expectations. So I was reading the frequently asked questions for Surprise Scoop NYC.

That would actually be a good addition to our horse calendar for next year or our motivational calendar. I'm not sure if we're doing horses again. Life's just a series of kicks. The best you can hope for is it's in the butt. Yeah, that's great. Because the kick in the butt hurts the least. Kick in the shins.

Kick misses. No, it's going to hit. It's got to hit. It's got to hit. It's got to hit. Where are you taking a kick? Butt. It's kicking the butt, right? Kicking the butt is way better.

It's fleshy. It's patty. So the frequently asked questions, you say, what if I don't like my flavour? They say, too bad. You can't return that. You're a tough titty, mate. Yeah, it's all about taking a risk. What if I enjoy it?

Can I order it again? No. Every time you come, it's a roulette. How many flavours do you think are back there that they're picking from or do you think they just do one flavour a day I don't know this would be great

because if you ran an ice cream store there'd always be flavours that weren't one and eight I just saw that sorry it's on a video which is annoying

they're frequently asked questions that are on a video oh no it keeps changing if you like it they say will I get it again they say you have a one and eight chance

they've only got eight flavours eight flavours okay I like that it's pretty good I don They say, you have a one in eight chance. They've only got eight flavours. Eight flavours? Okay, I like that. It's pretty good. I don't think they'd have a bad flavour in the eight. Yeah, but you wouldn't like every flavour. Are you thinking they'd put in like cayenne pepper or something? No, I'm saying they wouldn't.

Mushroom. Would you do this for a dinner? People would be too picky for this, right? For a dinner, like, you go to a place. What do you mean? What do you mean? In a dinner. Like, you go to a place. What do you mean? What do you mean? A restaurant? Or you go to someone's house.

No, you're ordering a main from a restaurant. A hole in the wall. And it's like a $15 main. Yeah, you say it's non-vegetarian. A $15 main? Jesus Christ. Where are we, 1987? Jesus.

Are you meeting starters again? Are you meeting entrees? This is why he's you eating starters again? Are you eating entrees? This is why he's sort of smaller than us. He's eating entrees. He's going for mains and he's ordering... He's ordering my bread. I'm not talking about a big $30, like, at a restaurant, $30, $40. Like a plate.

Yeah. It's just like maybe a takeaway bowl of something. Would you roll the dice on something like that? On ice cream, 100%, because I'm like, that's sweet. Same. It's going to be sweet and nice. I feel like if it was Japanese or Mexican, I'd like anything.

Or Thai. Yeah, but what if it came out and it's like some like writhing squid thing? You know what I mean? Like, that's not my vibe. Yeah. I'm fingers crossed for some karaage. Yes.

And now I've got live squid. You know? Yeah. Totally. I'm just saying the spectrum of, you're using Japanese as an example. The spectrum of Japanese food is too broad. I've meanwhile been racking my brain for Mexican food that I don't like

and I can't think of anything. See, exactly. Even the vegetarian option, like a pulled jackfruit. It's not meat, but man, it's yum. Who does stand-up comedy? Someone does it recently about, oh, no, it's not recently. It's Billy Connolly does stand-up comedy about how Mexican food is all exactly the same, just wrapped different.

And he was like, you go and you order a burrito and they're like, oh, no, I ordered the quesadilla. Oh, I'm sorry you go and you order a burrito and they're like oh no I ordered the quesadilla oh I'm sorry and just unwrap the burrito and just leave it in half

there you go that's it play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley that is Chapel Rowan singing Pony Club and she got the

whole audience and then they scanned the crowd and all the celebrities like all these amazing singers word for word singing along

it went off. It was so good. It was such an amazing performance. She had a giant pink pony. She had a giant pink pony. At one point she had a big clown hat on. She was amazing. Chapel Room was such an amazing part of the Grammys. And then obviously she won a Grammy

and she's so amazing in that she's so young and yet you'd think she'd be like, I'm just grateful to be here. And she's like, no. She is coming and she's so amazing in that she's so young, and yet you'd think she'd be like, I'm just grateful to be here, and she's like, no. Like, she is, like, coming, and she's coming for change, and in her speech, she used her speech as an opportunity to demand that record companies pay young artists. I told myself if I ever won a Grammy

and I got to stand up here in front of the most powerful people in music, I would demand that labels and the industry profiting millions of dollars off of artists would offer a livable wage in healthcare, especially to developing artists. Everyone was like, yes! On their face. Because you've got to think as well, like, Chapel Rowan's huge now. She's been going for like 10 years trying to get this going.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And it would have been a struggle. So, it was such an amazing Grammy. She performed, Sabrina Carpenter performed, and they called it like

the theater kid performance. Because she's in like a sequined touch. Oh, that was amazing. She was tap dancing. She did like comedy. She did slapstick. Yeah.

Everyone was just like, she takes herself so unseriously. It was amazing. She won a Grammy as well, didn't she? Yeah. Best vocals. Then Dochi, who we're all obsessed with at the moment,

won Best Rap Album. Third female to ever do it. Yeah. Lauryn Hill, Cardi B, and now her. And Dochi. And gave a great speech as well.

Yeah, it was a great speech. Great speech as well. Also performed in her undies. Loved it. If we want to talk about performing in your undies, someone should have found Kanye West's wife some undies. So she wore like a jacket, but then lost the jacket and was basically wearing nothing.

A stocking. Yeah. A see-through stocking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Completely see-through stocking. It was the weirdest thing. So they turned out, and then there was- Her titties looked like bank robbers.

Her titties did look like bank robbers. Her titties did look like bank robbers. But her whole When you see their smushed in a pair of pantyhose The pantyhose are like pulled

over the face. Her whole Her genitals were completely out. Like nothing. Nothing on. And apparently I don't even think

he was invited. They weren't invited. They weren't invited. Yeah. So what were the other performances? Oh, Cynthia Erivo. So we were like, where was Will Smith? He was part of the Quincy Jones sort of tribute.

Yeah. And Cynthia Erivo from Wicked did an amazing sort of Frank Sinatra performance. But there was no drama with Will Smith. No drama. He just came out quite gracefully. Although, did you see Jaden Smith wore a castle on his head? Yeah, wore a weird... A weird manor.

Manor, mansion. Yeah, like a haunted house. And Willow Smith just wore her undies as well. Just trying to be, trying too hard to be a meme. Charlie XCX performed kind of like closing out the brat era with this performance that was just so like party. Like the stage was just amazing. And then Taylor Swift

got absolutely nothing. Billie Eilish got absolutely nothing despite having like those two having some huge songs this year. And then Beyonce won Best Country Album and the look on her face, I recommend you look it up

because she's genuinely shocked. And then she finally... That's going to be a meme. That's a meme already. And then she finally won Album of the Year because that's the thing that she's been like's going to be a meme. And then she finally won Album of the Year. Because that's the thing that she's been nominated five years in a row or something for Album of the Year and has been kind of

snubbed this whole time. She finally got it. Honestly, the Grammys is worth an entire watch. It's south. So good. Amazing performances. But I think Chapel Roan took the night. It's our girl. What a banger. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Now, a journalist has written an article where for an entire week, they let AI make all of their life decisions. Food. Food, yeah. They'd be like, here's what's in the pantry. Oh, okay, that's cool.

That's cool. Everything. Right. Was just, what am I doing now, AI? How did it go? Well, yeah, it went really well. I'm just going to ask AI now, I'm trying to live well, healthy, and stuff. And stuff.

What? Is that what you're putting? And stuff. Yeah. I you're putting? And stuff. I have four breakfasts. Because it blows my mind how- I think you need to say that you're a 42-year-old man. Okay. Oh, wait, wait.

Because that would be different. I'm a 42-year-old man. With an attitude problem. With an attitude problem. I don't know. Just like give it some more information. Do you know what I mean? It needs to know all the details.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, you're giving feedback and then you... Why? Weird. Oh, it's giving me two different responses. Oh. Okay.

I'm catching the vibe. No judgment here, man. So if you're aiming to stay healthy but want to keep it real... Wait, where did AI get... Well, I'm a 42-year-old man. This is how we talk. I'm with an attitude. Okay.

Still legit. Bacon and eggs, but make it healthy. Protein-packed smoothie, but then the other one are like protein pancakes. And all right, I see you. Well, no worries. Attitude and all. We can still work on a solid breakfast.

It's done and talk to me like I would talk to it. It says, I see you. I see you. I see you, homie. And this is what this article delves into, is that so many people now are using AI to make big life decisions. Like, should I quit my job? I mean, I kind of get it.

I mean, I don't use it. The only thing I use AI for is when we're planning the show and what Fletch does is he puts in a really dense sort of psychological study. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a scientific finding. Yeah, from science. And he won't read anything other than the headline and be like great talking point. So he chucks it in.

30 seconds remaining on a song he'll say Hayley do you want to have a quick look over this next break? And I'll say sure and I open it and it's a nine page journal. And that's what they're designed to have a quick look at. A nine page in depth journal. So that's the only time I use AI is I say hey AI

can you bullet point this for me? And it's amazing at doing that. Yeah. It's incredible. And it kind of gives you like layman's terms and stuff. But I don't know about decision making. Yeah, but I don't know. I use it every now and again.

It's really good for travel, for itineraries. We've talked about this before. Like if you've got three days, for example, somewhere. Like you can just try it out in your hometown. Oh, yeah. And see how good it is. Like, hey, I've got three days in Christchurch somewhere. You can just try it out in your hometown and see how good it is. Like, hey, I've got three days in Christchurch. What should I do? Today, I've got two hours

before an appointment. I'm in Auckland City. How shall I fill my time? It'll probably be like, why don't you pop to the beautiful Auckland War Memorial Museum and check out this thing. Chat GBT is free, but it used to not be able to answer anything after 2021. But the Facebook AI is like all up to date and stuff. Right.

And well, there's the new Chinese one that's even more insane. That's even better than chat GPT. Yeah. Should I leave my job at radio? What did it say? That's a big decision. Okay. What's making you feel like you might want to leave your radio job?

Are you feeling burnt out, unfulfilled, or is there something else going on? That's great questions. No, I love it. And it's great. Yeah, great questions. Well, why would you want to leave then? This is what I want to ask now. So what's making you want to leave? It's really not understanding. Vaughn. That guy that was asking about breakfast before. Just the 42-year-old guy that was asking

about breakfast before. The 42-year-old guy you were just talking to. About breakfast. About breakfast. With an attitude. Do you think it's going to knock on other fellow AI users? Breakfast. Not yet. Not yet.

So this is what I want to know. We're already hearing from people. Okay, great. So he's part of the reason you're considering a change. This is what we want to know this morning. What big decisions has AI made for you or have you used AI for? I'm quite a decisive person, but I feel like if you weren't and you'd struggled with Shelley or Shantai,

this would be a great thing to use. Whether it's little things like, I don't know, changing up dinner or it is big life decisions. Give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. You can text in as well. 9696. What is it about him? I said he's really rude and he smells.

Oh, that sounds awful. It's tough when someone is so unpleasant to be around. This is great. We want to know what decision. It's because it recommended that I eat beans for breakfast. What decision did AI make for you? What has ChatGPT or AI helped you to decide? Make a decision for you?

What are you using it for? It is weird how ChatGPT has just become synonymous. helped you to decide, make a decision for you? What are you using it for? It is weird how chat GPTs just become synonymous. It was like how my parents still say, we'll give you a Skype. And we haven't used Skype for years. I didn't think it does that. Should we jump on a Skype?

I'm like, sure. And it's never on Skype. The chat GPTs almost become synonymous with AI. What's it called when a brand name becomes so attached to something? Like genericisation? Squaggledoodle. Squaggledoodle. Squaggledoodle.

Squaggledoodle. Squaggledoodle. We're smart here. We're smart here. I asked AI to tell me if I should break up with my partner or not, reads this message. It told me that it was a decision I would have to make for myself. See?

Hands off. You should give it more information. Be like, this is why, and this is what's happening and what do you think? Because then it probably will. I was unsure if I needed a new kitten. ChatGPT convinced me and now we have the cutest new family member. Okay, wow.

A cat is for a lifetime, though. I hope ChatGPT said that. Yeah, I wonder what things it took into account. It's weird that it was like, yeah, get a cat. But then somebody else said, when I asked AI when I should have my next baby, I told her I have a 16-month-old

and I've been going back and forth on when we should start thinking about the next baby. AI told me, should you be adding more chaos to your already chaotic life? Oh! Not wrong. The cat. But then you're already chaotic.

What's another one? Yeah, exactly. Once you've had already chaotic. What's another one? Yeah, exactly. Once you've had one, why not just have nine? This is, as a creative Hayley, I can see you really settling down with someone who does this. There's two examples of this. It's not decision making, but my partner works FIFO.

Fly in, fly out. So we spend a lot of time apart. That's not the pastry, is it? That's Filo. No, that's Filo. Oh, okay. And it's not the pastry, is it? That's phyllo. No, that's phyllo. Oh, okay. And it's not the football league either. That's fifa. Yeah.

And fifu, don't know. And fupa is something completely different. Yeah, fly in, fly out job. We use AI to write each other short stories and poems. But that's not from you. But that's not from you. And you could just get your own Chachy PT poem. Yeah, I bet they're really bummed out that the guy they're seeing

didn't write that poem when he takes them to Bali every other week. Yeah, true. What a shame. Or when that paycheck comes in. Yeah, and somebody said, my now husband used Chachy PT to help him write his vows last year. He said it was only to help. No, I'm sorry, but no. It's like

when the dad at the wedding has obviously Googled the speech and the jokes. It's like, come on, you've got to write it yourself. Oh my god, I wrote a poem about you guys. Okay. Fletch and Vaughn, the duo so bright. On the airwaves they light up the night. With laughs and banter they spin their charm, keeping the

listeners laughing, safe and warm. Wham! Fletch, the thinker, sharp as a tack, keeping the listeners laughing, safe and warm. Wham! Fletch, the thinker, sharp as a tack, bringing the wisdom, never looking back. Vaughn's the joker, quick with a pun, with a smile and a wink, he's second to none. On it goes. Oh, it's still going.

That's the thing about sometimes chat, you're like, can you cut that into about an eighth? Yeah, yeah. Make it a limerick. I asked AI what free editing and recording software it would recommend for my YouTube channel. It recommended one, and then I asked it for a quick rundown on how to use it, and it gave me that too. Yeah, it's amazing.

What about people naming their kids? Yeah. Okay, so we've had a couple of these messages. We use church's name. Our daughter, they put it all. They put in we're after a baby's name. This is our name. This is our other child's name um this is our family surname does it rhyme with any teasing

yeah give us a give us some name options we don't want the um like acronym of the initials to oh yeah because i know chat gpt doesn't like being mean but would you put in your name and say, does this open up to any teasing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, is this name teasable? Yeah. How would you tease someone with the name Hayley? I won't. I don't think it will.

I don't think it will. Teasing someone in a lighthearted, friendly way. Hey, Hayley, feeling Bailey? Hayley like hay. Are you always on a farm? Is your name Hayley or is it Hayley? Because I'm always calling for you. That sucks.

Oh, those are terrible. They suck. It's very bad at being mean. But it'll sort that out one day when it overthrows us, when it takes control of the Boston Dynamic Robot's bodies and then combines its sort of like hive mind with their indestructible bodies and makes us all their meat puppet slaves.

And it attacks you and it's like, hey, Hayley, no one thinks you're remotely interesting or funny. And you're quite vanilla to look at. And I'll be like, ow! It's Lynn Harvey's theme! Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Gather round while Grand grandfather lights the fire to tell you about the old days.

But if we didn't tell our parents what was happening at school and we didn't give them the weekly newsletter, they didn't know they were flying by. We didn't have a weekly newsletter. Did you have a newsletter? Yeah, we had a newsletter. It always got given to the oldest sibling in the family.

My brother got the newsletter because apparently the oldest was the more responsible. Oh, right. But yeah, unless you told your parents that it was cross country. Yeah, or swimming sports. They just wouldn't know. No idea. Yeah.

They wouldn't like talk to the other parents enough to know what was happening. Fast forward. Maybe there's a, you know, an email out after in the next generation. There was an email out about the schools going on. Yeah. Then schools joined social media. Now there's an app and I can log in and see exactly what my daughter's doing

at high school every minute of the day. She'll start today with form time. Then there'll be math, science. Has she got a track? You know her timetable? Yeah, it's all on this app. Toreo this afternoon followed up with some phys ed. You couldn't even sneak out.

I know. And be like, oh no, we just have a free period. You'd be like, no you don't. I always say that. No, I had a study period. Yeah. We had a study. That was a good one. And be like, oh, no, we just have a free period. You'd be like, no, you don't. We used to do that. We used to do that. No, I had a study period. Yeah. We had a study.

That was a good one, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you home so early? Yeah, we left early because last period's study. We had last periods on Wednesdays and sometimes Fridays of study. And does she have a- That's a bad line, by the way. By the way, you studied your way through that.

It was mine. No, every Friday after lunch, I have two study periods. So I basically can leave at like 11. Really? Because I'm looking here at your student timetable on Friday, both your Fridays. Well, it's 2006, Mom. We don't have it out.

Exactly right. Wow. Good Lord. You know everything. And I can see his upcoming events. There's a calendar of, and if you just click on view full calendar, the red dots, there's a whole school academic assembly on the 14th. Like, I know what's happening.

I don't know about this. Now, I also trust my oldest daughter, youngest question mark. No, she's a Hayley. I trust fully that she's going to be doing everything that she's supposed to

be doing. For now. Man, there's no room for anything with this. High school was my break. It was my time. It was my private time. So there's class and ID photos on the 18th. I can go remind me and I'll add it to my personal calendar for the night before so I can say, don't forget you've got school.

And you'll give her a little bit more eyeliner the next day. Yeah, really tart her up. Get her all gussied up. Then I'll add her with makeup. And I know that because if I click on this, I can read the school rules in this thing. I know, but on photo day. Does it, like, if she was sick, can you say-

I can report that she's sick with an app. That's good. If she's sick and I haven't reported, if she's not at school and I haven't reported her, I get a notification that she's not there. We had to forge Bev's good. If she's not at school and I haven't reported her, I get a notification that she's not there. We had to forge Bev's signature. Yeah. February 14th, Hayley has a dentist appointment

that'll take her out for the rest of the afternoon. She will be returning wearing a scarf. Don't look under the scarf. The medicine that she has had for her teeth. The dentist said don't take off the scarf. She's very cold. And now it is February. She's wearing a skivvy

in February. Yeah. She's had a local anesthetic in her teeth. She needs to wear a turtleneck. She needs to keep her head on. But this is wild. So with the technology

these days, there is no getting out of anything. And if you've got an attentive parent who's on the app, like me, they know what's happening.

Oh yeah. So I just asked before what days did you avoid because this may be a thing of the past. got an attentive parent who's on the app like me no i don't know what's happening oh yeah so i just asked before what days did you avoid because this may be a thing of the past just being able to skip out yeah yeah someone said mufti days oh yeah they were always horrible i loved it was really a time to express myself yeah and eight pinafores on top of each other and a tutu and a um and three pairs of pantyhose all All of a slightly different sized fishnet. Yes. Ideal.

Cross country. In my entire school history, I think I read it once or twice. Yeah. Somebody said sports day. Beep test. Beep test day. So you had to sit it though, right? Eventually.

Didn't you have to do it on your own if you missed it? But at least no one could see you drop out at level four. Yeah. He was like, well, I was in could see you drop out at level four. Yeah. He was like, well, I was at, I missed the line. Level four.

Oh my God, triggering. Somebody said they tried to get out of the beep test and they had a phobia of beeps and it was a very real thing.

I feel like these days that would probably pass. Totally would. Oh my God. Yeah. It makes you triggered by beeping. It's beeping.

Like imagine if Indy gets into my app and she contacts the school and said, quietly, and we don't want to make a big deal out of it, but my daughter has a beep phobia. Yeah. Wait, okay. So if they knew the pin to your phone,

could they be like- They could get into the app and report themselves sick. And because the school thinks it's you, there'd be no question. They'd get away with it. But they have to get into it. How do you log into that app?

It's just Face ID or pin, yeah. You can put a pin on it. You came with most apps. Despite being a great swimmer and loving swimming, I hated Swimming Sports Day. I'd always just say I had my period because they couldn't question that. Now let's say

as a young man who watched so many of his female friends get out of things at school by saying they had their period, I was really jealous I wasn't getting a period. I also love that. I mean, now, not at all. Not at all. And, you know, the minute, no. Also great that a lot of, especially male teachers

back in the day, had no idea of a menstrual cycle. You can have your period every week. Yeah. Of course. Lots of periods. Of course you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get heaps of periods. I believe year through. Yeah. School choir, the house challenge day

when everyone had to sing. I just called it sick every time. The idea of singing with a group of people still makes me feel sick. Someone said, as a high school teacher, I can assure you that kids these days are definitely working on workarounds. Oh, okay.

What are the workarounds? The sneaky little bastards. Okay. They don on workarounds. Oh, okay. What are the workarounds? The sneaky little bastards. Okay. They don't give any specifics. No. Okay. No.

Sneaky though. So sneaky. Athletics. At school, you had to sign up for at least one athletics event if you wanted to spend the entire day on the field. So sack race was a wildly popular event. It amazed me there were still girls who signed up for nothing and had to stay in class for the day. Unless you were

A serious athlete It was an otherwise lazy day Sunbathing with your girls In a costume Yes costumes Because it was always Dress up in your house colours And all you had to do

Was when they said It was sack race time Just go up and jump around In a sack for five minutes Yeah Or some of your mates Are doing like serious Hundred metre sprints

You're like I'll jump In a sack for a bit Yeah Dressed up as a fairy I used to say I was allergic to chlorine To get out of the swimming pool. To get out of swimming.

Perfect. Joke's on me. It actually turns out I have a weird waterborne allergy. Okay. Probably because you didn't swim enough. It's like what mum said. You tell a lie enough times, it'll become the truth. Oh, wow.

You said you were allergic to chlorine and look what's happened. Science got you. Science. 13 past eight. Next on the show, just, yeah, someone's missing me from afar. Huge celeb and he's emailed me. Yep. Someone else just messaged saying,

thank you for giving my teen a whole lot of ideas as I drive her to school. I can see her mentally taking notes. Do it, teen, do it. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. When was he in here? October, right? October, our dear friend of the show, Jason Momoa, was in studio with his band.

Yes. And he had been in New Zealand for months and he was leaving and I didn't get to see him before he went after that, unfortunately. Right, okay. Yeah. So he left and I haven't heard from him since and I just thought, you know, we're just both getting on with our lives. You know what I mean?

Busy. Busy working professionals. And despite the spark, we both have partners. And it was just a missed opportunity, ships in the night, wasn't meant to be. We both have partners. And so I was really surprised that he emailed me. Now this is shocking because usually we've spoken via like message or Instagram but I didn't know

he had my email address. My personal one not my work one which you can you know if you put your brain together you can work out what my work email is. Is it your personal email address that's associated with your Instagram account though? Because I get emails, scam emails I'm like how did they get that? It's my scam Vaughn.

Sorry I'm just going to stop you there. You just said, scam emails. I'm like, how did they get that? So I'm scam Vaughan. Sorry, I'm just going to stop you there. You just said a scam email. Oh. Jason always emailed me. We literally yesterday just spent quite a bit of time on the fact that you were getting scammed for buying tickets. I walked into that. This, I've just sat here and he's messaged me out of the blue.

He's come to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So yes, it is the email address with my Instagram. So that's probably where it got. Maybe take that email off. Because he knows. No, it's.

Oh my God, he's just emailed me again. Has he? Sorry. Just as we're talking. It's so crazy. The timing of this. Wow.

Wow. It's because he's like, oh my God, you took a minute in the radio. Ellie. I think that we have this kind of, this is the thing that I mean.

Like we've both got partners. He's happy with his partner. I'm happy with mine. But like our souls just have this connection, I think you could see that the first time we met. Right, which is probably why he's emailed you from what is it, at gmail.com? So you know his Instagram is prideofgypsies and that's his kind of like

brand. Well it's prideofgypsies 741 at gmail.com. Okay, right. Yeah, and it's prideofgapgypsies, so you know what I mean, like it's fine. So the subject of the email from prideofgypsies 741 was just like some waves, some hand wave emojis. Has there been any You know what I mean? Like, it's fine. So the subject of the email from Pride of Gypsies, 741, was just like some waves, some hand wave emojis.

Has there been any questioning of his use of the G word? Like, he's not of that area's descent. Romanian sort of descent. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, there was. I remember some discord about it, and I read it, and I. Immediately forgot. Spaghetti. No, you can say just forgave it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And anyway, so Jason, the actual one, has emailed me saying, and this is so out of the blue. Like, I mean, we haven't talked since October. This is months. He's obviously been just thinking about it, saying I'm so grateful. Are you going to share a personal email that you've received from definitely Jason Marlmore?

Yeah, well, this is what I just think for our listeners. I just want to share my life with Jason. Just open it. It's an open book. Do you know what I mean? I what I just think for our listeners. I just want to share my life with them. Just open the curtain. I'm just an open book. Do you know what I mean? I don't gatekeep my life. I don't want to share this. I'm so grateful for your enthusiasm, says Jason.

Your encouragement and loyalty. Your energy fuels my creativity, motivating me to push boundaries and create more movies. I read your comments on Instagram videos. I just want to say thank you. I'm grateful. Blessed hands. And I was like, that's so nice that he would take the time.

I know he's working on a film at the moment. So busy, yeah. He's so busy. And he just thought of me. Hayley Sproul in New Zealand. I've got to email her. He doesn't really speak like that, does he, though? That was almost like AI wrote that.

What? I read few of your comments on Instagram. He speak like that. He doesn't speak like that. I've seen of your comments on Instagram he speak like that he done he doesn't speak like that I seen it he does so um I messaged him back email emailed him back just being like I don't want to leave the guy hanging do you know what I mean he's got a partner I've got a partner we're happy like it's fine it just wasn't meant to be I said oh my god babes I miss you so much like when you're coming back to New Zealand thank you for for your kind words. Yeah. He just emailed me then, two minutes ago. Oh my God, and it's got a photo of him as

the thing, so that's, it's him. Oh, of course it is, yeah. What has he said? Oh, it's so weird that he's pretending like he doesn't know me. He said, hello there. I find it really odd writing to you because I don't usually chat with fans. We're not fans,

we're friends. It's crazy he'd say that. I wouldn't usually chat with fans. We're not fans, we're friends. It's crazy you'd say that. I wouldn't even say that. That's more closer to love than friends. Yeah, like there's an energy, bro. Like we all saw it. We've experienced it. Hello there, I find it really odd writing to you because I don't usually chat with fans. But after reading your comment on my Instagram account,

I realised how much you like and comment on my posts. Thanks for your support and positive vibes. A scammer has realised that you are a... That's because I'm in love with you. how much you like and comment on my posts. Thanks for your support and positive vibes. A scammer has realised that you are a... It's because I'm in love with you. A large commenter on his social media. Come back to New Zealand. Can you also congratulate him on his... He's got a role in the new DCU.

He's going to be playing Lobo. L-O-B-O. Congratulations on the... For your role. As L-O-B-O. Congratulations on the... For your role... As L-O-B-O in the upcoming Supergirl. I think it's going to be a Supergirl movie with Millie. He knows. He knows, Jason.

He knows. I don't need to spell out the information to the guy himself. Yeah. Well, I'll just see if he emails back because he's obviously online. Or how long before he needs some money because he's had an accident. He doesn't need money. He hasn't asked me for money. He's reaching out to us.

It's coming. It's coming. He's telling me that my energy fuels his creativity and motivates him to push boundaries and create more movies. And I'm sorry if that's hard for you to hear, that you're jealous, that you don't motivate film stars. You are jealous.

You sound jealous. She sounds so jealous. It's actually pathetic. We're going to have to look out for Hayley in future years. It's actually pathetic that you're so jealous of me. It's pathetic and it's sad, actually, Fletch. Play ZM's Fletch one and Hayley. Fact of the day,

day, day, day, day. Yeah. It is, as Matt put it so succinctly and beautifully, company pivot week. Yeah, it's good. Fact of the day. And I would like to talk today about American Express. MX.

Fletch has an American Express. I do. I like to hold it. I do. And our friend Mike has an American Express. And those are the two people I know with American Express. And every time I see a little sign that says, no American Express, I'm not accepted here.

Or I swipe it and they're like, man, we don't have that one. There's no point. Why don't they have one? Is it like, do they have to pay to have it? I don't know. Yeah, I'm not sure. It's like pay way, babe.

Most retailers do, like all the big ones. And you get good points. That's the point of using them, right? Oh my God, amazing points. Great points. So American Express. Hey Vaughn, something for us to work towards. Most retailers do, like all the big ones. And you get good points. That's the point of using them, right? Oh, my God, amazing points. Great points. I love it. So, American Express. They've won something for us to work towards.

Having an American Express? Yeah. You and me, mate. I mean, it's just a credit card. They wouldn't touch us without debt, but maybe something to work towards. Yeah. American. We're going to join the club.

American, you've got to be dreaming, Smithy. One day. Yeah. What colour is this one as well? It's black No it's silver It's silver It's platinum

It's just silver But it's heavy It's like made of metal Yeah It's nice It's really heavy It's real nice It weighs like a KG

Yeah It's a silver ingot It's a KG of silver. It's like less of a card and more of a slab of pure silver. Someone's talking themselves out of complimentary lounge access.

Oh, actually, yeah. Do you know... I'll stop, I'll stop. American Express was founded in 1850 by Henry Wells, William G. Fargo and John Butterfield. Now you...

Wells and Fargo, the very same people that founded the Wells and Fargo Bank. Apart from John Butterfield, He got left out of that. There have been some business discrepancies about expansion. So they were involved in transportation

and the American Express literally means they will get your parcels and mail there quicker than the US Postal Service. Oh, so they started out in postage. They started out in postage. They started out in freight delivery. Express mail and freight delivery. How were they so fast?

They employed the- Rockets. It sounds like a joke. They literally just employed the fastest horse riders. And they would ride overnight. Whereas the US Post, because it was like a publicly owned company, had some sort of like rules and stuff. Fat trotters.

Our guys will ride, but they'll ride during sunlight hours because it's going to be safer, but these guys just started a private entity that basically was like, we'll ride overnight. Overnight shipping basically, they invented overnight shipping. They also, later in the piece, invented traveller's checks. Well, they didn't invent, but they popularised and

put in place the facilities that made traveller's checks possible. I vaguely remember. I never used them. I know what they are. As a kid, I can remember my grandparents getting traveller's checks out before they went overseas. Because you couldn't withdraw cash from ATMs. No. And so you couldn't always take all the cash

you needed for your holiday. Yes. So you would get a traveller's check and then exchange it at a bank for cash. At your destination. Yeah, at your destination. Which is wild now. Yeah.

Especially if you just have a wise day of wise cards yeah you can literally translate pardon me when i travel i just use my card my new zealand oh hayley why wise what use wise i've got a promo code i've got a promo code i've got a promo code beautiful voice as well use wise use wise really guys yeah i've got a promo code okay travel app. Look at him. He put me onto Wise. Actually, he already got a promo code. Oh, use yours. No, because you've got to sign up a few people before you get your credit.

No, use yours. It's like a chain letter in the 1980s, mate. You can't have all of our friends just because you went away for summer and your cousin gave you a chain letter and you come back to school and give it to everybody. So I've got nobody to give it to and then I get 10 years bad luck. Yeah. Okay. I'll get yours.

I'll do it. You can't do that. Thanks. Use my promo code. Wise is you load it with credit, right? You load it with currency. It's like credit card years bad luck. Yeah. I'll get yours. I'll do it. You can't do that. Thanks. Use my promo code. Why is it you load it with credit, right? You load it with currency. It's like credit card, debit card, yeah. You literally log onto the app

and drag money from like, I want to go to Australia. So you drag however much New Zealand money you've got into Australian currency and then you can just use it there. Easy peasy, no things once it's transferred. And you get to exchange it at the real time, right? Listen to you.

Don't use Wan's promo code. Please use my promo code. Use mine. Imagine if we did a thing where we're like, okay, we've just done this thing. It's neat. Text 9696 and use our promo code. I've honestly thought about that.

It is an abusive privilege. You would have. Guys, help us out. Text 9696. He's our promo code. He's our promo code. He's our promo code. Yeah, it does seem like an abusive power.

It is an abusive power. And we would never do that. No. We will do that. We would never. We would never. Never do that. Absolutely would do that.

Absolutely would. Never do that. Yeah. Oh, Dave. So today's fact of the day is American Express, the popular and well-known credit card, which Fletch has a big silver one that accrues him all sorts of rewards and points. It's so heavy.

It is so heavy. Like if you gave, ironically, if you gave this American Express to the original American Express and said, can you deliver that? They would have said, it's going to cost you because it's so heavy. Because it's heavy. The horse, we have to get a bigger horse. It's weird that it's got our company's name on it. Where are you from, future space man?'s going to cost you because it's so heavy. Because it's heavy. The horse, we have to get a bigger horse. It's weird that it's got our company's name on it.

Where are you from, future spaceman? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so heavy it's going to cost you a fortune. But the original American Express was just a freight company that promised to get it there.

Express. Fact of the day, day, day, Tay, Tay. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm just trying to help some people out. You know, they want a wise promo code. I'm more than happy to help.

You're abusing your privileged position. It's an abuse of power. It is an abuse of power. I will give the money if they give me money I'll give a bit of it to somebody. Yourself or your wife. That is the vaguest thing. What is your charity? If people give me the money I will give a bit of the money to somebody. I'll give a bit of the money to somebody.

And what charity are you playing for tonight Vaughn? I give a bit of some money to somebody. It's my charity. I don't want to talk about it. And what charity are you playing for tonight, Vaughn? I give a bit of some of the money. Just somebody to somebody. Someone to something. Great. I think one of the most important things is not all the money will be going to me. And it will be going to people who need money.

To people. A bit of the money people give to me will go back to some of the people. Now, Katy Perry, she's kind of coming back. We announced, we didn't announce, but we talked about the fact that she's going on a big tour. Yeah, going to Australia, but not New Zealand. Australia, not New Zealand. 13 dates in Australia, zero dates in New Zealand.

Who cares? Whatever. Stuff you. She was talking about how she handles harsh criticism, of which in her career she's had a lot. Why? It would just be you. I think you'd just be best not to read anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's her general rule. I don't read it if it's good. I don't read it if it's bad. Yeah. Right? She's just like, it's actually, oof. And she took that stance after she was in therapy because, I mean,

I'm terrible. When I first started going on TV, I would, like, Google my own name afterwards and read all the bad comments and be like almost like a drug like yeah you hate me it was awful until tell me you hate me yeah I'm awful eh

until enough people were like stop don't do it and I don't do it anymore once a month and she said she was in therapy for many reasons and she talked about this you know the critiques and albums they come out and they don't do as well

as expected and this is the piece of advice she said that she really heard it and she now carries it into her entire life which is what anybody thinks about you

is none of your business it's what you think about yourself yeah that's good I mean that's great that's great what you think of me I actually can't change that

you can't change what people think about you. No. And who cares? It's none of my business. You're actually completely entitled to think of me what you will and hate everything I do. That's your business. It says more about them than it does about you.

Yeah, thank you. I mean, look at the sage advice. It's floweth. Yeah, it's good. This is what we wanted to do this morning to round out the show, to send you off into the day. What is the piece of life advice that you've received or you've read that

you just carry now forevermore? Mine is, what's the worst that could happen? Yeah, that's good. I always have that. Drink it while it's fizzy. And also... You've got that tattooed on you, don't you? I do. Drink it while it's fizzy. And hang on, well, figgy. Figgy, that's right. That's my mum.

I got that for my mum and she said it looks like figgy. Hang on, now, and also, one of my dear friends, Carl Peter Fletcher, once said to me, your excuses will destroy you. This was actually on a podcast, Hayley. You know that I didn't say this. Your excuses will destroy you and take everything

you ever wanted, if you let them. Yeah, it's a great podcast. You know, just man podcasts great podcast you're listening to. That's great. You know, just man podcasts. Just man podcasts. Motivation. You know, just motivational man podcasts. Yeah, man.

Yeah. Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate. Absolutely not. Andrew Tate on Joan Rogan. Oh, double wham. But, you know, it's great advice. And actually, when I heard it, I was like, oh, that's good.

That's why I've screenshotted it and saved it to my favorites. And I say it often. So do you have one of those quotes or pieces of life advice that when you heard it, it stuck with you, it's still with you, you always remember it?

Maybe it was from a parent. Maybe from a parent, a loved one, or you've just read it once and you've gone, man, that's a bit of me. Like this. Read in the morning,

shepherd's warning. Read at light. Shepherd's delight. Shepherd's delight. I don't know if that, we're not after weatherisms. That's really taking me into my day. Because something bad will happen today and I'll be like, do you know what? Shepherds delight.

It's not, no. And of all our spells, Shepherds warning. Shepherds pie. Yeah, Shepherds pie. Okay, well 0800 Diles.m, give us a call now, text through 9696. Man, these are moving me to tears. Here's another one, don't be a dick. I mean, these's pie. Yeah, shepherd's pie. Okay. Well, 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Give us a call now. Text through 9696. Man, these are moving me to tears. Here's another one.

Don't be a dick. I mean, these are great. We want to know what is the piece of life advice that you always remember. Kaini Perry has revealed that a therapist once said to her, what anybody thinks of you is none of your business. It's about what you think of yourself. And that's why she doesn't read any reviews, good or bad.

Good or bad. She's like, it's actually none of my business. Well, like a lot of celebrities don't even have like phones or. No. Wait, they just stay off the internet. No, it's only going to be bad. It's only, yeah. It's going to mess with you.

So what is the life advice that you always remember? Kirsty, what's the life advice that you always remember? My mum always used to say to me that it's okay to have butterflies. Just get them to fly in formation. Wait, say that again. Wait, say it again. It's okay to have butterflies. Like, you know, when you're feeling a bit sick in the stomach.

Just get them to fly in formation. Wow, that's beautiful. Yeah, that's good. I like that. I really like that. It's all right to have butterflies. Just get them to fly in formation. Kind of like use it to your advantage sort of thing.

Yeah, like get a hold of them and use them. Make them do it. Yeah, keep it on your toes. Sage, Kirsty, I like that. Thank you. You can't soar with eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys. That's great. You didn't come this far to only come this far?

That's pretty good. Oh, that's really good. Keep going. How long have we got left? Yeah, where is the end? I'm tired. Everyone is tired. Is it death?

And how far away is that? Is there a rest stop soon? Could we have a sit for five? Yeah, are we going to sit down for a little bit? We've come this far and it's far enough for me. My gran always said your kids won't remember how tidy your house was only if you played with them in it. Oh, that's good.

Oh, that's beautiful for the parents. My chief petty officer in the Navy taught me the five Ps. Prior preparations... No. No, no, no. Prior preparation prevents pissball performance. Penis prevents piss poor performance.

With your penis. Well, yeah. Prevents piss poor performance. Penis performance. It really feels like penis should be in there. It feels like prior penis preparation prevents piss poor performance. Give it a bit of prep.

The best advice I ever got was from the Prime Minister of Samoa. Oh. Sure, he said, take the time to get to the heart of the problem before you try to solve it. Yeah. Master your rage or your rage will become your master. Sounds like some 80s hair metal lyrics, doesn't it?

Master your rage. So many texts. Keep them coming in. So many. 9696, the best advice you ever got. We're really filling up the calendar. Georgia joins us actually to really just, we just want to go into our day with some advice on our shoulders.

And we're getting some good advice here. Don't be, what was the one I just read before? Don't be something and wrap you something. Don't be a fool and wrap your tool. Yeah. Great. Great advice. Only a fool and wrap you tool. Yeah. Great. Great advice. Only a fool breaks the two-second rule.

Pull your own weeds before you pick somebody else's flowers. Oh! Hey, you. That's a tattoo. That is good. That's good. Yeah. Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.

Oh, yeah. Love that. That's good. Laura, what's the advice you always remember? Oh, my gran used to say that men are like buses. If you wait a few minutes, another one will come along. Oh, wow, nanny. That's good stuff.

She's not wrong. I'm going to go forward to that one, too. The follow-up was when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy. Oh, my goodness. Wow, so she's saying if the husband left the wife for the mistress, that mistress should be well aware that he's going to want another mistress. Wow. Oh, man.

Wow. And you always remember these. What kind of bus is a man like? A bendy one or a double-decker? We've lost Laura. Oh, Laura. Is she all right? Hit by a bus, ironically.

Yeah, crazy. What a way to go. Another one did come around minutes later. She was out in the middle of the road. Where the last bus struck her off. Stinky old buses. That's what men are. Never miss a good opportunity to just shut up.

Yeah, that's great I mean we're actually professional talkers So that would be a really lame radio show Not your monkeys, not your circus Condoms are cheaper than a pram A lack of planning on your part Does not make an emergency on mine You can imagine a middle aged woman

Telling you that, hey, when you're like crying. In the words of Paw Patrol, they're dogs that can drive cars, so I think we should listen to them. We should listen to them. In the words of Paw Patrol, try your best, forget the rest.

Oh, I like that. You can't change the direction of the wind, but you can change the direction of your sails. Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's the direction of the wind, but you can change the direction of your sails. Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's nice. One margarita, two margarita, three margarita, floor. No, that's...

I don't know if that's life advice. I don't know if that was the advice we were looking for. If you don't learn to blow that bloody nose of yours more quietly, you'll never find anyone to marry you. It's don't learn to blow that bloody nose of yours more quietly, you'll never find anyone to marry you. It's not ladylike. That's what their gran used to say to them.

That's quite nice. I'm thinking of getting some more tattoos, actually. That could go. Yeah. That could be good. Christ, you've piled on some weight. That's what somebody else said. No, again, that's not a motivational.

Yeah. Just because it's a familiar feeling doesn't mean it's real or true. Oh, this is deep, or true This is deep guys This is so deep Georgia What's wrong with you? Go outside and eat a banana Is that another one? I don't know if that's My dad when I was beaten up at high school

you were probably asking for it Oh that's good There's little ones like my mum who's passed away used to always say, take a jersey. And now every time I leave the house, all I think is take a jersey. Take a jersey. That's nice.

Lefty loosey, righty tighty. That's great advice. We never forget that. It's great life advice. Apart on gas bottles. Is it the other way? No, my gas bottle's righty tighty, lefty loosey. You're wrong.

Your gas is on, bro. You need to go home. Not the gas knob on the top, the way to plug it into the bottle. Oh, okay. That's the other way, isn't it? Georgia Burt is up next. Former soundkeeper.

Former soundkeeper. Ahead of ZM's Secret Sound. We're going to kick that off Monday morning. Your first listen to the sound will be 7 a.m. on Monday. $50,000. Very exciting. All that's a giveaway. We're going to play Secret Sound at 7, 8, 11, 1, 4, and 5.

So many chances. You've just got to guess the sound to win the cash. And, Georgia, I just want to say to you today, I hope that today you make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous. Oh, don't. I've got goosebumps. Isn't that nice? This is so nice.

Do you know what? Don't have goosebumps. Goosebumps. Fear is the starter gun of life. Oh, wow. That's good. That's good. Eating is cheating, Georgia.

I was just reading that one. That's toxic. Leave that in the 90s. I counted 79 all rights today, Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too.

All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? 79 of those too. Alright, well if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Or f*** off.