ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th October 2023

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: NYT Headlines  Chicken Crimpy  Hayley the Feminist  Vaughan's Kmart Discovery  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Oh, she's a chilly one this morning. I know, and I wore a t-shirt and no jumper. Let me bring up the temperatures. Silly goose.

Mum was sending a photo of Mount Taranaki, covered in a fresh dusting yesterday. Oh, she's a beautiful woman. Was it a clear day? Was it a clear day in the net? She was. Minus 3.6 is the coldest at the moment in Taupo. Oh, yeah.

Single figures for all of the country at the moment. Christchurch currently 2. Aiton, tropical Dunedin right now. What are we looking at in the White Cots? Four in Wellington. 1 degree at the moment. But it's going to be a beautiful day for especially the North Island. Clear skies for most people.

And lots of sun today. Just a chilly start. Oh, nippy. We'll give you the chance to win some cash again with Cash Catch-Up at 8 o'clock this morning. It's our last week of Cash Catch Up. We'll play at 8, midday and 4 o'clock. So listen up for the activator then. We've got the top six on the way.

Yeah, the New York Times wrote an article about New Zealand children getting involved in the eradication of possums. You know, this is where schools do like possum fundraisers and you pay the enter and then you go shooting possums all weekend. We'd go around our mates' farms and shoot them. Well, they're pests. I know, but I've never shot anything

before. Not even a possum. What about a target? Have you shot a target? I've shot a clay bird. Oh yeah, that's fun. One step away. Possums don't move like a clay bird. I was very good at it. Yeah. I couldn't. They're so sweet. They're not so sweet. I know, I know, but they're so

soft. Yeah, great. Let's shoot them and pluck them and get in some food. Or like... No, I remember once Aaron had to shoot one with a paintball gun. No. Yeah, I know. That's not right. When he lived in a trailer

on a paintball farm. Was he playing? Was the possum playing paintball? The possum was on the roof of his trailer that he lived in on this paintball farm. So was this before or after clown school in France? Well before. Let's write a book. Every time you tell an Aaron story, I'm just like, where did we squeeze that in? We're the same age.

He was a librarian, a mechanic. A butcher. A butcher. It's so strange. That's amazing. He's had a wild life. He has. Don't say it like it's over.

Oh, my God. Touch wood, everyone. Touch wood, yeah. It's still going. I didn't mean it was over. Yeah, God. He's had a good run. He's had a good run.

God, he's done some things. Anyway. We shall remember him. Raise a glass to him. Yeah, raise a glass. The New York Times have written this article about how we're feral. Yeah, yeah, and how should kids be involved in pest eradication. So I've surmised the top six other headlines the New York Times could write about stuff

New Zealand kids have been doing for generations. Oh, yeah, nice. I've got a subscription, too, for the New York Times. It's fancy, eh? Fantastic. Can you read the article? Because I've got the opening paragraph. I've kind of got this bright ear of it.

That was going to be my question. Did you read the article? Did you say, wow,. I kind of got this dry tear of it. That was going to be my question. Did you read the article? Did you say, wow, you're posh. I'm scrolling in the New York Times. Yeah, no, I had a special come up. And I was like, oh, yeah. Okay, that's not bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A dollar a month or whatever. It's bigger on the pulse of the world. Yeah, yeah. Of New York specifically. All right, the top six are coming up. Next on the show, though. There is a woman who has won a beauty pageant. Not news.

But this beauty pageant is slightly different. They're not allowed to use one thing that is very prominent in most other pageants. Bikinis. No, they're still bikinis. Still legs. Still crowns. Still flowers. Just something else is missing.

There is a dental nurse. Shout out and good morning to our dental nurse listeners. Shout out to the dental nurses. Yeah, shout out. Are they still a thing? Like at schools and stuff? Can they travel a bit more? Because we had David Street in Morrinsville.

David Street had a dental nurse. I thought you just go to the dentist now. The school just sends you to the dentist. I went to the dentist on Monday. God, they're clean, man. They're so clean. That's what you go there for, isn't it? That's what you want.

Gaps between my teeth where plaque once was. I love it. They scrape it off. Dental nurses are still a thing. That's the branch of dental study that Producer Jared's doing. Oh, is she going to be a dental nurse? Is she going to make the little buzzy bees for the kids? Yes.

Does she have a good nose to look up? What's underneath of her nose? She's very pretty. No, but she's got a dainty nose. There'll be a mask on it. There would be nowadays. Yeah. Whereas in the 80s and 90s, they'd just breathe a load of you.

Look right up at dental nurses. Straight after a durry. Straight up the nursery. Yeah, they'd just breathe a load of you. You'd just look right up at dental nurses. Straight after a durry. Straight up the nursery. Yeah, they smoked. They smoked. Yeah, she's studying oral health therapy. So when she graduates, she's a hygienist, but also hygienists are school dental nurses.

But can she do fillings and stuff? Will she be able to do fillings on kids? On kids, yeah. Yeah, because it's just a waste of time, T. So if you guys wanted to say you're under 18, maybe some free films in the future. Yeah, I look under 18. Yep.

Can I just apply on Snapchat? Wow, did you hear how hard Carlin laughed at you? Yeah, I did. It was the face you made. It was the face you made. I'm just trying to keep it tight. I'm just trying to keep it tight. So this dental nurse,

she has won the world's first ever makeup-free beauty pageant. Oh, okay. So this is part of Miss London 2023. Had 24 contestants who were all makeup-free to the point they weren't even allowed to wear, they could have a moisturizer on. So no brows done. Oh, yeah, but can't some of the moisturizers, don't they have a few tints and stuff? Yeah, so you could probably chase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More of a BB moisturisers, don't they have a few tints and stuff? Yeah, so you could probably cheat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. More of a BB cream. That's what you were thinking, eh? The BB creams? I don't know. I just know that some of them aren't fully moisturisers. I think, Shad, I got a BB cream. Yeah, BB cream rules.

It's just like a light cover. Well, it's every brand. Oh, it's not one brand. Sweetie, there's not one brand. That was the name of the brand. There's not moisturiser and mascara. There's not one brand. Sweetie, there's not one brand. There's not one brand. That was the name of the brand. There's not moisturizer and mascara. There's all brands. I thought BB Baby was a brand.

BB Bum BB Baby was the brand. I do apologize. What does the BB stand for? BB Moisturizer. I can't remember. Beer Bottom. Beer Bottom. Beer Bottom Cream.

Beautiful Babes. Beautiful Babes Cream. Yeah. So, yeah, basically, that's all it is. They were hoping it's part of Miss England, which has been around for 95 years. They're still the full get your keenie out and your big heavy makeup and spray tan and whatnot.

It's a part of that pageant, but they're hoping this makeup-free arm of it would empower women, boost confidence and promote a more realistic body image. So what do they all look like? Do they look... Beautiful women. There's the winner here.

She's got a stunning glow on. Yeah. Wait, you said no lip gloss. That looks like lip gloss. Yeah, I know. Or has she like wet the lips? She might have licked them. Do you know what?

I feel like she's had a bit of... I suspect she's had some tattooing done. You know, like some eyebrows. Because those eyebrows. Well, that's disqualification, surely. Yeah, I know. If you've got tattooed makeup. Yeah.

That's a full-blown workaround. They're stunners. So the hair isn't done either. Like it's just out and not styled up or anything. Beautiful women. Mixed bag though. I mean, she's wearing leather culottes and she's wearing hot pants. So I don't know what the dress code was.

It's a bit all over the show, isn't it? Yeah, it's the first time. I think they're working out the kinks in it. Right. Okay. You know me, I always rock a makeup-free face. Yeah, and you could easily be in that lineup. He's good, isn't he?

See what I did there? See what I did there? See what I did there? He's done well. Because I'm such a natural beauty. You are a natural beauty. Every day we see this. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I cannot believe you've never played The Sims. It's, you have to. It's so much fun. Yeah, it's not that I was never interested in it. I just never got around to it. Yeah, poor. Poor. Yeah, well, that sucks. I never played it through. I restarted interested in it. I just never got around to it. Poor. Yeah, poor. Yeah, well that sucks. I never played it through.

I restarted all the time. No, I never played it to anyone's life. You just put in cheats and so you had heaps of money and then built a real cool house. Real cool houses and cool lives and make lots of affairs and lesbian couples and that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, and then you'd be like, oh, put the baby in the bin and set the house on fire. Yeah, exactly.

And then build a new house. Yeah. That was me. That's wild. So people are still playing it now. It's kind of had a bit of a resurgence because they did it for iPad and I played that for a while, but it was a bit lame. And now people are going back to the OG.

Yeah. Sims 4. It's pretty good. Oh, I'm going to play it. Can you play it on PS and consoles or is it just PC? I don't know. Oh, surely you can. That's a good question.

Right. Let me Google. PlayStation Live seems a waste of such gaming power. Do you still play your tractor farm simulator? Every now and then.

When the weather was bad over winter, if I felt the need, I'd power up the tractors and get out there and harvest some corn. Yeah. But then there was,

I found a cheat where I could have heaps of money so I just bought all the farms around me and I just monocultured. I just corn. Oh, But then there was, I put, I found a cheat where I could have heaps of money so I just bought all the farms around me and I just monocultured. I just corn. Oh, right.

I bought all the flashiest equipment and then it kind of took the fun out of the game. Right. Well, you can always, you can always buy like modifications.

You can like download them from websites and download them and import them into the game and one thing that the girlies are doing on TikTok

is giving their sims chronic illnesses. So I've followed a couple. One's given their sim, you can download a CAD or something like that, or something that you then put in the game and it gives them Crohn's disease. Okay, why? I don't know. It just seems like I know that this game is hard enough

to balance the right thing to make them happy, to make them intelligent, to make them social. And now they've got Crohn's as well. I know. And then another one I followed, they're giving them IBS. Right. So they eat and then they're like, oh no, hardem dugan frau.

And then they go to the toilet all the time. They shit on the floor. Because you haven't finished building your house yet. Yeah, exactly. And then they're embarrassed. Yeah, and then they're embarrassed and toilet all the time. They shit on the floor. Because you haven't finished building your house yet. Yeah, exactly. And then they're embarrassed. Yeah, and then they're embarrassed and their whole life story changes. This is such a weird thing to do. Because you obviously suffer from IBS.

I've got the IBS. Would you make your- I wouldn't wish it upon a sim. No, so you wouldn't wish it upon a sim. No. You wouldn't want to make your sim life any harder than your real life. Like, can it- Does it give it extreme bloating? Can they go get a

colonoscopy? It's so bizarre that they're doing this. I wonder if you get polycystic ovarian syndrome. No, I'm sure. I'm sure you probably could. She just keeps woohooing and like, no baby. She's like, what is it?

And then she goes to the bathroom, she's got a mustache. She's like, oh my God. Googling her symptoms. 18 past 6. You can get that on PS. Yeah, it's in the PlayStation Store. I'm going to go home and download Sims 4

on my laptop. I'm back. You're back. I'm back. Well, Sims'm back Oh god here we go Well Sims 4 One of them was free And it was all the Yeah yeah so Sims 4's free Right okay

But it's all the add-ons That of course you get They get you Yeah you want a few more I'll pay Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley

Silly little po Silly little po It is so silly silly silly That the silly little po Silly little po Silly little pole, it is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little pole, silly little pole Silly little pole, silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole, do you like turbulence? Tommy, we seem to have had a lot of turbulence over this country.

Of late, the winds have been insane. I was reading an article, apparently this is going to be the new norm with climate change. There'll be a lot more turbulence in the skies. So get used to it. Yeah. I thought it was the... I thought a... was coming as well.

But then someone said to me the other day when I was bitching and whinging that La Niña means a very active spring. And in the North Island, that could mean just rain and wind. It is on the West Coast. Yeah. Yeah, quite a very active spring. And in the North Island, that could mean just rain and wind. It is on the West Coast. Yeah. Yeah, quite a lot of wind.

But then summer's hot. But windy. And really changeable days, like really high temperatures one day and then the next day could be cold. And that's because that's the thing. I just want a nice consistent summer. Really windy means that there's a high pressure and a low pressure, right? Yeah.

And you're kind of stuck between them and that's the wind. The wind's going for it. So, and then the East Coast is going to be ridiculously hot. Yeah. We're all going to hell.

Well, and what was the news? 10 New Zealand's worth of ice shelf broke off Antarctica. I know. It's so bad.

You know when you get those ice cubes and they're really blue and clear? Yeah. Those would be so good. The outside melts a little bit and then you can see through. They would be great in a mug. We should get some for mugs.

Oh no, but it'd be salty. We could call them... I love salt in a mug. Oh yeah. It'd slowly melt into the... Antarctomargaritas. Antarctom melt into the... Antarctomargaritas. Antarctomargaritas. Antarctomargaritas.

And margaritas. Antarctoritas. Margaritarticas. Yes. Margaritarticas. It would be worth helicoptering down to pick up some of this ice. Chip, chip, chip. Yeah.

You'd have to sell them at a premium. Do you reckon I can get it in time for my birthday this weekend? Didn't Martha Stewart wear it for doing this research? Who was the celebrity that was on an Alaskan cruise and they went past an iceberg and they went scrape. What? And then they pulled a vocal and made their own drink. Oh, shoot. Oh, no, don't.

Oh, for God's sake. We're the worst. We're the worst. Scrape. Humans, eh? Oh, we're so bad. So, do you like turbulence, Tummy? I mean, this isn't a huge surprise. 75% of people said no. 25% said yes. It's that dropping feeling.

I like when you're in a car and you go over a hump and you go, because you're in a car. But when it's in a plane, you've got a long way to fall if it all goes badly. Yeah. But it doesn't always go, you know, like in New Zealand. I like it on a roller coaster because it's meant to be there. It's not just happening. So let's talk about it.

Hannah messaged in. I love turbulence full stop. Yeah. Hannah, you're sicko. Cara says, I don't know. I had one until I almost died landing in Wellington. I was like a fear of them. Right, okay.

Yeah, so she does not like it. Oh, she didn't know she had a turbulence tummy until she was landing in Wellington. Like a fair of them. Right, okay. Yeah, so she does not like it. Oh, she didn't know she had a turbulence tummy until she was landing in Wellington. Yeah, right. Yeah, Wellington. I think maybe coming from Wellington that I just am used to it. Thought that was what all airport landings

were supposed to be like. Sarah, I was on a plane that tried to land a couple of times at Wellington Airport two weeks ago and couldn't due to the gale force winds. I also had caught Cryptosporidium from being in Queenstown. She's one of these people we're hearing about on the news every day. Have they found out where that's coming from?

Sarah's bum hole, apparently. And now it's being spread person to person too. So don't kiss anybody that's been in Queenstown in the last few weeks. Is it kissing? Kissing. Hand stuff. Wash your hands before and after. Hand stuff.

Mouth stuff. Butt stuff. You'd say cancel the butt stuff. I'd say put a hard pause on the butt stuff. P and B. P and V and B. P and V and then B. Always wash though

Just in general Just yeah Just stay clear Of anyone from Coinstown So she said It wasn't a fun time For anybody Turbulence is the pits

Yeah If you were Close to shitting yourself I can absolutely Get on board with Why it didn't help Wait do you lose A couple of KGs

From this crypto spruiting I've booked a flight on I don't know If you can stop though Don't worry Blue canoe And't worry Blue canoe And then crypto Blue canoe

And then back to the hotel To drink all the water Out of the tap Yeah yeah yeah And a bit of P&V Am I saying crypto I feel like Yeah yeah Cryptosporidium

But it feels like I'm talking About cryptocurrency Doesn't it now They've got crypto Yeah they jumped on it Sounds like a transformer I am Cryptosporidium Except for the mechanical noises It's just shitting yourself I am Cryptosporidium. Except for the mechanical noises, it's just shitting yourself.

I am Cryptosporidium. Mason said, I also clap every time the plane lands too. Oh, no, don't be that person. It's not Europe. Yeah, Europe and America, they're big on that. It's like, well done for doing your job. No one claps me on the radio. They probably add home clapping now.

Do you reckon? You just can't hear them. We'll pause for applause. Thank you very much. Someone's got a birthday on Friday. Oh, yes. Would you like everybody to applause? Well, it's Aaron's birthday Friday.

Mine's Sunday. Yours is Sunday. But if we're on the radio on Friday, yes, I would like to pause for applause. Pause for applause. Rather than a minute's silence that I expect when I die, and I want you to both honour that. Okay. Yes.

Radio stations can't do that because the silence kicks off the emergency music track. We can play the final post. Which is normally something from the fray. Like, play the last post. Fray, yes. Yeah. Or In the Shadows by Rasmus.

Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh,ay, yes. Or In the Shadows by Rasmus. Yeah. In the shadows of my life. That's on my gym playlist. So like after 10 seconds of silence, the machine would kick in. The Rasmus comes up. The Rasmus. It's what Hayley would have wanted.

Oh, this feels so appropriate for her She loved Erasmus She loved Erasmus Shay Says it's like a rollercoaster How fun Not when you're in the air How many people said they didn't like

25% said they liked it 75% said they didn't But I'm imagining if you don't you're just like I don't like it And then if you do you want to tell people about it Because Ingrid said they didn't. But I'm imagining if you don't, you're just like, I don't like it. And then if you do, you want to tell people about it because Ingrid said yes, the more shit you... Sounds like an alarm. This is genuinely my gym playlist. I'd say I listen to this

weekly. Do you? It's so good. Shoulders. I had a video game where you could put your own music into it, but it always started with this one. So every time you started, it was just this song. Very rarely because you get out of the car and then you get into another one. This song would start again.

Yeah, right. Anyway, carry on with our responses. Ingrid said, yes, the more the better. Like a bonus theme park, right? She's insane. Yeah, that's how I feel. It's like a free ride. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

Georgia, I have a fear of falling being dropped, so turbulence is the worst. You know, that's one of the fears we're born with. Being dropped. Right. Babies are only born with two fears. One of them is being dropped and one of them is sickies. No, they love sickies.

We're not born with a fear of sickies. We come out of the womb and we're like, oh god, gagging for a durry. Shit yeah, mum, you were right. No, we don't go out with a fair of ciggies. We come out of the womb and we're like, oh God, gagging for a durry. Shit, yeah, mum. Yeah, you were right. Those things are bloody good. And Sherry says, I'm the worst flyer ever.

Add turbulence and I'll just throw up as I have done multiple times. There is something funny about being on a plane and being cool with turbulence, but looking around and seeing grown men and women who are just so terrified. So the two innate fears that we're born with, the fear of falling, the fear of loud sounds,

and the fear of not hearing the rasmus. Like the rasmus. And the fear of not hearing rasmus. What if you live your life without hearing Ross Moose? Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM's. Right. What are you shaking the desk for? Making all my little mini memoirs dance.

There's a lot of mini memoirs on there. There's a little cardboard kind of Jansen memoirs. I certainly do. It's really cute. Yeah. It is getting towards the end of the year, and this is where we get Our end of the year lists Things that happened in February

That you totally forgot about And then you're like That's right That happened that year Oh my favourite is Oh my god that's right They died Yeah

Yeah my favourite is Baby names Oh the big baby names Big baby names of the year So this is Cloaca Cloaca Cloaca Jane

She's the one hole That can do it all. Well, Merriam-Webster have released a list of words that they have officially added to their dictionary. Is this the Australian? Is this Merriam-Webster? Merriam-Webster the Aussies? America's most trusted dictionary, I think it's said.

Okay, right. Which is the Australian? Oh, Macquarie. Macquarie. That's Macquarie University. They're the ones that had Bachelor's Handbag last year. Yes. If you remember that, they always have a great list. I like Oxford. I like's Macquarie University. They're the ones that had Bachelor's Handbag last year. Yes. If you remember that, they always have a great list.

I like the Oxford. I like the Oxford. Oxford's English. If I'm being honest. I love the Oxford comma. The Oxford comma. How do you use it? Go.

I don't know. Exactly. You just know the song. You just know the song. Just know the song. Here's a list of their slang terms that have been added to the Miriam dictionary and what they mean. Riz.

How embarrassing. It's a slang noun for romantic people of charm. It comes from charisma. Turn on the dictionary and what they mean. Riz. How embarrassing. A slang noun for romantic people of charm. It comes from charisma. Turn on the riz. Turn on your charisma. Now this one I was like, what does that mean? Because I've always wanted how to spell zhuzh. What is the definition to give it a zhuzh?

A small improvement or adjustment or addition that completes the overall look, taste, etc. That is a fantastic description of zhuzh. Verb of the word zhuzh is to improve in flavour or appearance by way of a small improvement, adjustment or addition often used with up, like a zhuzh up. I didn't even know where to start spelling that. Is it with a J? I remember my brother called me once late at night from Melbourne being like,

How do you spell zhuzh? And I was like, oh, man. And we went on like a one-hour debate like, is there an S? Is there a J? Yeah, Google that. Like, how do you spell zhuzh? Do you mean? I thought it was Z-D-S-H-U, Z-D-S-H-U.

Zhuzhu. Zhuzhu. Forget the last U. Forget the last U. Z-H-U-Z-H. So almost you put an S in it. It's a Z. Z-H-U-Z-H. Get almost you put an S in it. It's a Z. Z-H-U-Z-H.

Get that little zhuzh. Okay. Doggo. That's just noun for dog, isn't it? Yeah. Doggo. Padawan, which is great because that's a Star Wars term. So that's crossed over.

What is Padawan? A tie dish. I thought it was a tie dish. Oh, I love. A tie pad. Padawan tie. A medium Padawan. Yeah.

A young person, especially when regarded as naive and experienced, says, oh, that's not right, young Padawan tie A medium Padawan Yeah A young person Especially when regarded As naive and experienced Oh that's not right Young Padawan But it shouldn't have Star Wars nerd stuff Creeping into the dictionary Yeah you can't just

Make up words No but somebody's Taken stuff And it crosses over Into the mainstream And then it gets Put in the dictionary Bingo card

So that's a noun For a list of possible Expected or likely scenarios Usually used in the place Of one's bingo card You got's a noun For a list of possible Expected or likely scenarios Usually used in the place Of one's bingo card You got bingo wings in there? No, no word on the bingo wings To the flappy underarms

Simp It's a verb It's an informal word To show excessive devotion to Or longing for someone or something Like he's a simp Right, okay Puppy dogs

We used to call it whipped Yes Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah He's whipped He's whipped Yeah Like he's a simp. Right. Okay. Puppy dogs. We used to call it whipped. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah. He's whipped. He's whipped. Yeah. But then you would simp,

you can simp for things that aren't people, right? Right. You can be a simp for muesli bars. I don't know why I said muesli bars. Why? You're such a muesli simp though. Nobody's a simp for muesli bars. Goated comes from goat, like greatest of all time,

because it's considered to be the greatest of all time, so they've been goated. Right. Oh, yeah, right. It means their admission to the greatest of all time. Bussin is an adjective. It's African-American English slang. Extremely good, excellent, especially delicious or tasty.

So that is bussin. Yep. Chromulent. Chromulent? Chromulent is informal andulent? Chromulent is informal and humorous, acceptable or satisfactory. That's from The Simpsons. Chromulent. Oh.

Mid is neither very good nor very bad. It's just like meh. Something's mid. NGL, the abbreviation for not gonna lie. That's not a spelling. That's not a word. No, it's an abbreviation. TFW, that feeling when. Use a special on social media or in text messages

to introduce a relatable scenario or an image that evokes a specific feeling. Right. And TTYL, talk to you later. Some of those seem a bit like that's old as. Why are you looking up how to spell TTYL? It's literally TTYL. TTYL. You might also TTYL. TTYL.

You might also be looking it up for a definition. That's the American dictionary. That's Merriam-Webster. That's Merriam-Webster. They're new words that have been added. Oxford would have a bar of this. Well, you know what? We'll see.

We'll see. Because that list will be out any day now. That list will be way more chavvy. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there.

The New York Times wrote an article about Kiwi kids killing invasive pests. Should children join the killing in New Zealand's war on invasive species? A hunting contest has exposed tensions over which animals deserve protection who gets to define humanness

and how children should be taught about conservation Rich coming from America Yeah dude I mean you can literally as a kid go and buy a gun

Yeah Yeah A pick up truck rolled up one by one ferrying a stream of dead animal carcasses into the showgrounds

Pigs, deer, possums and even feral cats would all be weighed and showcased. The biggest animals strung on rats. The smaller ones laid out in rows

that became heaps as the day went on. Feral cats are the worst, I reckon. The big Easter hunt as well, isn't there, in central Otago for all the rabbits.

The rabbits, yeah. Feral cats just need a little bath and a shot and then they can become someone's beloved pet. That's if I'm gone. No, you're talking about stray cats. I am.

Stray cats, savable. Feral cats, gone. Yeah. Gone. They're their own species now. I saw a feral cat up the mountain in Taranaki once. Were you like, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss?

No, it was a feral. We could do it with a belly whip. So the whole article's about like, they've got like, pictures of kids running around with like, dead pigs on their back and they're just having fun.

I guess because we're, like, we've grown up with that, it's not weird to us. Abnormal to us, yeah. But they are pests. It's not like we're hunting,

like, urban dogs and cats. No, no, no, no, no, no,

no, we're not hunting other people's pets. No. We're hunting like, an invasive species. It's like, dad, there's a possum in the pump shed, he said, I, no, no, no, no. We're not hunting other people's pets. No. We're hunting like an invasive species. Yeah. It's like, dad, there's a possum in the pump shed. He said, I'm busy. Get the shotgun out of the cupboard.

Just go down and you just stand close to this possum and you just be like, sorry, mate. Boom! Sorry, mate. And then you're like, dad, there's lots of holes in the water tank. Dad, there's holes in the pump shed roof. Yeah. Oh, what the hell did you shoot it at the roof for?

That's where the possum was. No, you bloody throw sticks at it until it comes out and then boom. Anyway, that's rural lifestyle. Well, if they didn't like that, I've got the top six other headlines the New York Times could write about our kids here in Aotearoa doing things they've always done. Number six on the list, the article is called A Burning Rage. Should Kiwi kids be left in charge of lighting bonfires

on farms around New Zealand? Yes. God, I used to love lighting a bonfire with all the junk mail I was meant to deliver. Yes, oh my God, all the glossy junk mail. Yeah, it took so long to do. A paper-heavy bonfire. Yeah, it took so long to do.

And verbal, because it all falls on its own. You can't breathe. You've got to have stacked sticks. Got to get rid of the evidence. Yeah. Also, Decca went under, so who cares? You were such a brat. Well, they went under

because the first domino to fall for Decker was New Plummer. The New Plummer store. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six other headlines

the New York Times could write about Kiwi kids doing what they've always done is an article called Double Drink. Should Kiwi kids be left in charge

of mixing their own raro when they're going to put in an extra sachet? Yum. Yum. Yeah. If mum's not around. Extra strong. Let's make those extra sweet.

Let's make this thing pop. These are energy drinks. Before energy drinks. Yes. Do-do-do-do-do. But the energy lasts one hour. Yeah. And comes with a crashing headache.

Number four on the list of the top six other headlines the New York Times could write about kids in New Zealand and doing things we've always done is an article called Child Labour. Should Kiwi kids be working at their parents' business for free all summer long? If they want a roof over their head, they do. If they want to be bloody fed. If you kids want to go to the beach at the weekend,

it's a Monday to Friday. This is a busy time of the year for us. We can't just be bloody taking time off. Number three on the list of the top six other headlines New York Times could write about Kiwi kids doing things they've always done is one called Kitty Construction. Is it safe for New Zealand children to be building non-certified houses and trees with stuff they stole from Dad's shed?

Yeah. Higher up the better. Higher the better. That was the rule. Sometimes you look at a tree and you're like, the only like Y in the tree where we can put a platform is 12 and a half metres up. Well, my friend, you climb up, put a rope over it, drop the rope down. I'll tie the pallet to it.

You hoist it up into the tree. That's how we're going to roll. Number two on the list of the top six headlines the New York Times could write about kids doing things they've always done here is Shandy Gate. Should Kiwi kids be having a half beer, half lemonade refreshing beverage with their grandparents? Yes. Do you remember that time that story went viral in America? The uni students were playing possum up the tree.

Yeah, where you go up and you drink. You can't come down until you finish drinking and they were falling out of the tree. Oh, no. See, even you go up and you drink. You can't come down until you finish drinking and they were falling out of the tree. Oh, no. See, even that's too silly for me. It's good fun. You had to wee from the tree if you wanted to wee.

Yeah. Good big splash. Even the girls? Yep. Yep. Everybody that's up there. Sprits everywhere. Yeah.

If someone's just walking underneath and it's like, oh, that shower's come from nowhere. And number one on the list of the top six other headlines

the New York Times could write about kids in New Zealand doing what they've always done is an article called Solo Century. Should New Zealand children be left at home for just a little bit while mum pops in the shop or dad nips to the gym? Yeah, it's fine. What's going to happen? They'll be okay.

It's fine, yeah. Just don't play with the matches, all right? Yeah. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We just did this off air, but we'll do it again on air. Hold on, wait a minute, because I needed to confirm I haven't forgot any flavours. On the count of three.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Wait, that one's... On the count of three. Say your favourite flavour of Arnott's Shapes. One, two, three. Pizza. Chicken Krimpy. Don't eat them.

They're too dry, and then they get all... They're very dry, they get three. Pizza. Chicken Krimpy. Don't eat them. They're too dry and then they get all. They're very dry. They get between your teeth. But if there's a box going around, I'd purchase them. If there's a box going around, I'll leave and go and get some cheese balls. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I forget that we've got to deal with a classy man here.

I forget. You can't be dabbling in our. I know. I'm a cheese balls. Our plebs. Our plebs snacks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Arnott Shapes in Australia did an online, you know,

sort of a vote off and then like elimination, elimination, got down. The grand final took them to chicken crimpy, very polarising flavour. Controversial flavour. And barbecue. Because I would have thought barbecue or pizza would have been the winner. Yeah.

The end result was chicken crimpy is Australia's favourite flavour of Arnott Shapes. And this is my favourite. I love chicken crimpy. I was once eating a bag of chicken crimpy and comedian Ben Hurley said to me, what are you doing, you monster? And I said, this is the superior flavour and he didn't

talk to me for a year. A wise choice. I get it that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I love a chicken crimpy. It's so manufactured and fake chicken flavoured. I love it because it's ultra processed and fake.

It's super fake. It just tastes like the idea of a roast chicken. They've launched chicken palmy. Chicken palmy shapes. Folic, tomatoey, cheesy chicken. How do they capture the vast palate pleaser that is? Great crime when we went to Melbourne recently. I didn't have a chicken palm.

I didn't have a chicken palm either. God, you've got to have a chicken palm in Aussie. I've actually never had a chicken palm. And I go to Australia all the time. It's so weird that they're not a thing here, the chicken palmy. So it's chicken, crumb chicken. Yeah, it's chicken schnitzel. With?

Like a tomato paste and then cheese grilled. And sometimes a tomato. And then fries and salad on the side. And they're massive. Massive. So they beat the breast. Yeah, they beat it. So it's like flat, like a shirley. It's the And sometimes a tomato. And then fries and salad on the side. And they're massive. Massive. So they beat the breast. Yeah, they beat it. So it's like flat like a shirley.

It's the size of a plate. But it's so weird because any pub or restaurant you go to, you can get one in Aussie. But here, it's not the same. We're so close. It's so different. I just love chicken crimpy. Also, the funny thing about chicken crimpy is like all the flavours are flavours

and then crimpy is just part of the chicken one. What flavour's crimpy? It's the shape. Yeah, it's the shape of the shape. I know, but you don't call it barbecue squares. And you don't call it hexagon pizza. Yeah. Yeah, I've had a problem with that too.

On the last time they did this in New Zealand, this was a post from 2018 in November. Wow, so coming up five years ago. On the Arnott Shape New Zealand Facebook page, Chicken Crimpy also won New Zealand's favourite flavour. I guess it's a lot of like kids eat them too. Oh my God, bacon and cheese and bacon's pretty good. Oh yeah.

That fake bacon, the pink one, that's pretty good. It's because it's a cheese or what was cheese and bacon flavoured? Rations. Rations. It's rations. It's rations on a drier base. Rations taste like velvet. I love rations.

Somebody said, have you ever tried chicken crimpy with cream cheese? Oh, yeah. No, but I can picture it. I can picture it in my mouth. That would make the shape less doughy. Less wet. Yeah, yeah. No, but I can picture it. I can picture it in my mouth. That would make the shape less doughy. Less wet. Yeah. More wet. What about a chicken crimpy into a kiwi onion?

That could work. Don't sound so disappointing to me. I don't like chicken flavoured chips. That's weird. Okay. Well, there you go. If you're gonna snack on something chicken flavoured, you know what's really good? Chicken. Like wings. Get yourself a bachelor hand really good? Chicken. Like wings. Get yourself a bachelor handbag.

Yeah. Or it's all some wings. Lean into that. Have some wings. I want to dry it up and sprinkle it on. Well, if you've got Instagram, you definitely will have seen somebody walk the Tongariro Crossing. Absolutely. Very picturesque once you get up the top.

Beautiful walk. You know, give your makeup a little bit of a refresh. Put on some E Amon walking shorts. Get the booty shots. Those booty shorts that lift up the booty. Yeah. Scrunched. Scrunched the wonder bra for the ass.

Get those on. Get a good angle. Get some lighting. And get a couple of photos to prove that you did it. Because if you're not doing it for the gram. What are you doing it for? What are you doing it for? Yeah, exactly.

Well, it's a very, very busy walk. The Tongarello Crossing. You said last time you did it. Which was when you doing it for? Yeah, exactly. Well, it's a very, very busy walk, the Tongariro Crossing. You said last time you did it, which was when? It would have been a few years ago. Yeah, like three or four years ago. Yeah, well, it's one of New Zealand's busiest day walks. It is New Zealand's busiest day walk. It is.

It's frustrating because it's like a line of people, especially at the start because the buses are dropping people off and you're just behind people. And there's parts of the track where you can't pass. And there's some old mate. And old Speedy Gonzalez here. Oh, it dulls my head. Who ditches his friends and runs to the top of the monger and then waits for them.

So the Department of Conversation had a conversation with the Department of Conservation. Yep. They conversed about conservation. They have set up a voluntary booking system. So it's voluntary. It's voluntary. You won't be penalised,

but they'd really like to know if you're going. So they want to know numbers so that then they can charge us? Is that where they're going with this? There's absolutely no plans in place to put a charge on the walk. It's purely just to sort of, you can go on and you can see, oh, my God, 500 people have already registered this day. Oh, yeah, so you don't do it that day. I don't do it that day.

Yeah. And so the idea is that you can turn up unannounced, but it would be great if you just said when you plan on going so that other people who, like old Spitty Gonzalez here, doesn't get stuck behind people and get frustrated. Yeah, right. And tensions don't rise on what's supposed to be a beautiful, calming, outdoor walk. Yeah.

So, it's 19 kilometres. Yeah, it's nearly a half marathon. It's a long day. Long at the Popo Valley to Ketetahi on the Alpine Crossing. Yeah, and once you get to those lakes, you think, well, it's all downhill now. It's long.

It's long and downhill from there. So you walk up, because when I did it at school, which is going back a long time, there were still ice caps and stuff. Yeah. You went up, and then from there we went up Ngarahoe.

Now, you're not allowed to do that anymore, are you? No, you're not allowed to go up. We scampered up that scoria right to the top of that volcano. That was wicked up the top. The view was insane. And then you came down and went down the same path you came up. Yeah. But now do you go up and over the saddle and down to the other side

and then get a ride back around? Yeah. Do you have to sort your own ride? You have to get shuttles. I remember this from a kid because I'm like, I remember doing a crossing as a kid. With the blue lakes, the lovely blue lakes.

But I can't remember much about it. Blue lakes at the saddle and then you go up. Yeah. When did they say you're not allowed to go up Ngarahoe anymore? Oh, I can't remember.

That was a few years ago. Insane. But yeah, it's kind of getting to, I mean, there's a fresh dump of snow on Oropahiu and the Tongaroo.

Love fresh dumps. And there's that plateau. There's more coming. It's negative one there at the moment. I just looked up National Park temperature. I mean, you're getting end of October. That's when it gets, every weekend is pretty much heaving. You need to go like midweek in the morning when everyone's at work, you know.

Oh, it's tourists, I guess. But then there's a lot of tourists as well. Also, the busiest area for call out, 290 people needed to be rescued in the last seven years. Oh, God. Just last week, two walkers were rescued from the Summit Ridge by a land search and rescue team because they were attempting to walk in winter conditions.

They'd become trapped on a patch of ice. They had no crampons, ice axes, or even appropriate footwear for the conditions. Yeah. Because when it's fine and sunny, they're all like, doot-doot, in the snow, and then the sun goes behind the clouds and the soft snow ices over and becomes a death slide. Yeah, the guys that got rescued out of there,

they were in jeans and sneakers and T-shirts. Perfect. Okay, right. Yeah. All right, well, you can register if you're going to do the Tongaroa Crossing this summer on the departmental. Yeah, and if you feel a breeze go past you, it's Fletch. I know, I want to do it in a few weeks.

Storming. But, yeah, we'll see how the weather goes. It's the grumpiest sounding breeze you've ever heard. Get out of the way. I'm just saying, keep to the left. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Yesterday, Aaron was out visiting his parents and I was home alone when I got a text from the courier driver saying, hey, I'm here with your delivery.

And I thought it was my delivery to top up the Prosecco shelf rack, which hath been drained recently due to increased levels of stress in the household. So I was like, oh yeah, can you just pop it in the gate by the front door? All good. And he was like, no, I can't put it there. Can I leave it just outside of the gate?

And I was like, on the berm? You know that berm at the front of my house that sort of slows down? Yeah. I parked the Jimny on the grass berm. It's raised a few eyebrows. You've got a telling off. I've got a telling off. It's a light four-wheel drive.

I'm not going to get stuck. I'm not going to make a mess. No, but there's gravelly side. Yeah, but I need to be out of the way. I need to be out of the way. You've got a telling off. There were tradies everywhere. I was just like, rar!

I've got a telling off from Sade. I've got a telling off from India in August. You can't park here. I've got a telling off from Hayley. I got a telling off from India in August. We'll let you come park here. I got a telling off from Hayley. Aaron just shrugged his shoulders and I shrugged my shoulders back. Wow. Anyway,

won't do that again, will you? No, he won't. Anyway, so they said, can we leave it there? And I was like,

sure. I was literally like, you know, going home very shortly after this. Yeah. And then I got there and it wasn't my wine. That was on the doorstep. Yeah. Okay. That courier knows where I like it. Yeah. And then I got there and it wasn't my wine. That was on the doorstep.

Yeah. Okay. That courier knows where I like it. Yeah. He might as well let himself in and stack it in the rack, so to speak.

Yeah. Anyway, it was a giant palette and on it was a mirror that I've ordered for my walk-in wardrobe. I'm so excited for this and I've been waiting

for it for ages. But I didn't realise, I thought it was just going to come in the box of the mirror and they would just deliver that. But instead they had it on a crate, like a big, like two big crates. And it was all taped up with like big kind of glad wrap. Like industrial glad wrap.

Yeah, that kind of thing. And then I just got there and I was like, huh, okay. No tradies at the house yesterday. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah. And then I just got there and I was like, huh, okay. No tradies at the house yesterday. No Aaron at the house yesterday. Just weird. Just weird. Well, me.

And I was heading off to go do the project last night. Did you catch me? Did you catch me? On the, oh, no, I actually don't watch TV. Oh, that's weird. You and everybody else? Anyway, I had to leave. So I was like, I can't leave this mirror here. The weather looked like it was turning and da-da-da-da. So I was like, I can't leave this mirror here.

The weather looked like it was turning and da-da-da-da. So I was like, I'm going to have to try to get this in myself. And I started trying to lift this thing. How big is it? It was so heavy. I think the mirror itself is only like 30 kgs. Right. But the crate added to it.

Well, it's forklift heavy if it's on a crate. Yeah. They've used a forklift to pick it up at some stage. So I was like trying to do it. And obviously I can't just like hurl this thing around either. It if it's on a crate. Yeah. They'll use the forklift to pick it up at some stage. So I was like trying to do it. And obviously I can't just like hurl this thing around either. It's got a mirror on it. Yeah. So then I was like, oh, what do we have to do?

It's like try to get the, we've got one of those. Trolley dollies. Trolley dollies. I was like, I'm going to try to get that and try to flip it onto that. So I went up the driveway, got the trolley dolly, came back down the driveway and I was struggling. It was too wide. I couldn't get my hands

on either side of it. Awkward size. Awkward size. Couldn't go that way. I couldn't do it. And then this man runs past on the street and I was like, I looked at him to be like, maybe I could stop him. But he's out on a jog. He literally clocked me with his eyes and then kept on running.

And I was like... Also, like, if I was running or if I was cycling or I'd be timing on my watch and this would be stopping my time. Yeah, I'm going to ruin your split. You're going to ruin my splits. You're going to ruin my timing. Well, I hate to do that. I don't like to offer my services to a woman because whatever the helping

version of mansplaining is, I don't want to be tagged with. Yeah, I get that as well. I'll totally help, but I'm not going to say, hello, damsel in distress, it is I, Gaston. Totally. No one lives like Gaston. Well, I was sort of feeling the same. I really wanted to do it myself, so he didn't stop,

and I was like, all right, onward we go. Kept struggling with this thing, and then I was sort of like looking over at my neighbour's house, but they weren't home. Looked over towards my other neighbour across the road also a male. He wasn't home. My other neighbour on the left, they're not home. So I was left on my own.

Another couple walks by and it was like a guy, their dog and a kid and I sort of looked over. Again they walked past me and at this point I was like I'm going to start sort of audibly and like sort of really playing up the struggle and I just in my heart of, I knew I needed a man. I needed a man to stop.

You wanted this. I know. So you wanted this. I know. I literally just needed a big man. This all started in 1893 when you wanted to vote. You know? I know.

And then we sort of got all independent. You got a bit lippy. You got a bit lippy. We got lippy. I'm technically unmarried without children as well. I'm 34 this weekend. Yeah. I mean.

That's spinster material. That's spinster. Yeah. You've asked for this. Anyway, so by the time the third guy came around, I was, I'd just given up on all feminism and I asked him to help me. And then he suggested, well, why don't you just cut the I was going to say that before I was like

why didn't you just cut the mirror out of the Yep cut the plastic and get the box off. I love that you which was only 20, 30 pages. Reluctantly asked a man for his brute strength and he gave you his thoughts on something anyway. I know! I see that.

I need a lift. He's like why don't you just cut it open and you're like now i've asked and you've given me the way i should have seen i know so i did i went in and got a bloody blade and i cut the mirror out and i did that i still had to trolley dolly the 30 kg mirror because it was just really awkward size yeah so i did that and then the crate i'm just like f you basically and just left it on the berm and I rung Aaron and said by the way there's a crate on the berm, your problem so I'm not a feminist anymore

I need a mane and you've got a mirror and I've got a mirror by the way this walk-in wardrobe it's the size of a flat it's not that big oh my god this story is wild It's not that big. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Oh, my God. This story is wild.

Oh, my God. So there's a sort of an Uber company called Lyft. We don't have this. It's big in America. It's as big as Uber. Yeah, right. L-Y-F-T. Lyft.

There was a customer called Palash. He was taking his pet cat, Tux, to the vet. Now, he lives in America. Tux is a good name for a cat. It is a good name. He was taking his cat to... Wait, is it black and white and it's got like a little... It looks like it's wearing a tuxedo.

Is that why it's called Tux? Yeah, it's got a little white V. Okay, good. You're cute, eh? Now, he took to Twitter. I refuse to call it X. It's stupid. He took to Twitter to share his experience.

He was tagging in Lyft to his tweets. My Lyft driver drove off with my pet cat still in the car. I was taking my cat to a vet appointment. I was sitting behind the driver and had the cat carrier on the floor of the passenger side back seat pulled up got out, went to walk around to get tux out of the

car, car takes off I'm always worried that if you're coming back from the airport that's going to happen so I always say I'll just keep my bags out the back, I always say that and they're always like yeah yeah yeah and you're like well the day I don't say it. Yeah.

So the driver drives off. This guy, Palash, he's like banging on the back of the boot going, off they go. Then this Lyft app, like the Uber style app, only lets you message the driver and call the driver three times. He messages three times, calls three times, no response from the driver. He can no longer make contact.

The cat's in the car. So he... Cat's in the car in the silver spoon. Little boy tux has gone too soon. Anyway, so then he contacts Lyft. Yeah. And you know what that's like? Oh, 800.

Oh my God, yeah. If you've ever lost anything in an Uber, it's hard. Especially tech companies likeft. Yeah. And you know what that's like. Oh, 800. Oh, my God. Yeah. If you've ever lost anything in an Uber, it's hard. Especially tech companies like that. Yeah. Work all on an app. No phone calls required. Yeah. Getting through to a call seems like a nightmare.

Yeah. I know. And when they're like, how can I help you? You're like, talk to a human. Yeah. Anyway, so he calls them and he says they weren't helpful at all. Has the driver not realised there's a cat in his car? Two hours.

Okay. Like gone. Yeah. He spends two hours trying to get a hold of them. Finally Lyft comes back and they say, oh my God, we're so sorry about this. Here's a $20 credit for your lost item. It's a cat. Oh wait, so this isn't like here's your cat back and $20 credit.

It's like, hey, that cat that you love, we're putting its value at approximately $20. So he is trying all the different channels, Instagram, all the social medias, calling, everything, saying to Lyft, like, you have to help me find this cat. Then

apparently, how long? So this happened in late September. On the 2nd of October, Monday. Two days ago. The cat was found. In America, yeah, okay. So two hours after the car's gone, the driver finally makes contact through Lyft and says,

I don't have the cat. What? Was this like a really nice cat, do you think? Like he bonded with the cat or something? No, it just looks like a moggy, like a little. It looks like a rescue cat. Yeah, like a rescue cat. Just a normal cat, yeah.

A poppet cat. Two hours later, the driver says he can't find him. This guy is absolutely distraught. He's like trying and trying and trying and trying all these avenues, posters, everything now. So that's like trying and trying and trying and trying all these avenues, posters, everything now so that's like two weeks later there's reports of a cat

that's been found at a real estate agent's place, covered in fleas looking absolutely worse for wear and it's tux and he's reunited. How do you get fleas so quick? In two weeks, I can get fleas so quick? In two weeks. I can get fleas in a bloody day.

It's probably hanging out in the bad areas. Did you say it was in New York? I'm not sure. I'm actually not sure where this is. For some reason I assume New York. Well, probably. Hey, taxi cab! You got my cat in here!

Hey! Isn't this horrendous? He's my cat now, buddy! So what, somebody took him? Or the driver was like, the driver might just open the door and be like, Literally no explanation. the driver was like, no explanation. Literally no explanation. The driver was like, I don't have the cat.

Why are you fixating on fleas? Well, if it didn't have fleas, it does matter. How did he get fleas that quick? Because he's out in the wild. You just rub it around other cats and stuff. Other cats and the fleas infest that quickly. That's not the most important part of the story. The fleas.

Take them with the fleas. They don't have a collar, they don't have a treatment. They can put a spot on. They can put a spot on the neck. They've not been keeping up with the spots on the neck. They can just squirt on the back of the neck. He'll be fine. Very tight, covered in fleas, dehydrated.

You'd have fleas too. That'd be the worst, the least of your worries if you were let loose in New York homeless for a few weeks. I'd be a ninja turtle at the end of it. You would be in the sewers. I'd have a rat that was a master and I'd have several weapons at my disposal. Well, this is an ongoing story because this literally happened two days ago. Yeah.

Well, one day ago, if this is America, right, with their time zone. So he's said on Reddit, I want revenge. Palash is not happy. Palash wants revenge Yeah this is how Great movies start Like do you remember John Wick

Yeah John Wick That time They messed with his dog People took Liam Neeson's Daughter Yeah And now they've taken Tux the cat

From Palash Yeah So Lyft has given him Money to help with Vet bills and what not And ongoing recovery For the cat Anyway horrendous

Terrible story You'll be happy about that There'll be some Flea treatment money in there. Yeah, yeah, a bit of a squirt on the back of the neck. Yeah, I'm just saying pay post, you know. I want to know what you left in the back of an Uber. Or a taxi. Or a taxi or an Ola or whatever.

A blue bubble. A blue bubble. A Wellington combined. It can't be Chunny. Yeah, I left my dignity in the back of the cab. Yeah, I've done that for sure. The only thing I've left are keys in an Uber, and it was impossible to get them back.

Like, you try through the app, and it's just like, eh. I've left my phone, and then they're like, try through the app, and I'm like, you've got my phone. Oh, yeah. I don't have the app. I don't have the app, yeah. So what are we going to do? In the old days of, like, not being able to trace your phone, I used to leave phones in cabs have the app, yeah. So what are we going to do? In the old days of not being able to trace your phone,

I used to leave phones in cabs all the time. And you'd ring up, you'd have no way of knowing what cab you'd been in. Yeah, what time? It was like 3 a.m. on Courtney Place. I was the girl with the J&M's Chinese smorgasbord container. What kind of phone is it? It was a Nokia, one of those ones you could change the faceplate and put a photo of your loved ones in it.

That one, that one. It's got literally a photo of me and my girlfriend in it. Well, mate, because we talk about the things left in Ubers before. Maybe you've done this. Maybe you've got a weird thing you left in an Uber or an embarrassing thing. Was there a pet? Was there a pet? We want to know what you left behind in a taxi or an Uber.

We've just had a taxi driver message. I've had so many people ring up the depot and they're asked to get in touch with me personally because they left their drugs in the back of the car. They really want them back. Hey, I think I left a small bag with

icing sugar in it. It was us. We were on the way home from the party with the Ranfelli shield and the weekend session. I had a broken fist from punching it and breaking it in half and yeah.

Oh, actually, mate, don't worry about it, actually. We'll get to more of your texts and calls next. Keep them coming in. We're talking about

what you've left in a lift. A taxi. An Uber. A corporate cab. A blue bubble. Yeah, that's nice. That was a taxi chip, Dave. An Uber. A corporate cab. Okay. A blue bubble. Yeah, that's nice. That was a taxi chit-chat.

An economy city sales. The RSA courtesy van. Wellington combined taxis. Yeah, they'll get you home as long as you live within 10 k's. 44444. Yeah, easy PC. Somebody said, my flatmate left his rugby bag in a taxi boot after a game and a night out. Didn't notice for a few days.

Finally tracked it down in the taxi ladder. He had taken the car to get professionally cleaned as she couldn't work out where the stench was coming from. Oh my God. And all that time she never popped the boot to check? Yeah. Yeah. Like you're always putting people's stuff in your boot. You'd check that. I tell you what, we're hearing a lot of people leaving their children or babies in taxis.

Generally back in the day where you didn't have to strap them into a car seat, you could just kind of hold them. Yeah, right. Yes, yeah. When I was a new mum, I forgot my baby, paid the driver, got out through the passenger side. As he pulled away, I realised I don't have my child and I banged on the boot.

It was back in the day, no cell phone, so I was lucky. I realised when I did, I meant he would have come back. He would have come back, yeah. There's so many mothers leaving their newborn babies. no cell phone, so I was lucky. I realised when I did I meant he would have come back. He would have come back, yeah. Oh my god, there's so many mothers leaving their newborn babies. Also, once got off the bus and forgot my pram and my baby, just completely got off and walked away. I don't know how my children made it

to adulthood with me as their mother, to be honest. Oh yeah, do you remember on the bus you used to like hook the prams onto the front of the bus? Yes. That's right. Because you couldn't take them on, but you needed them when you got there. I left my driver's licence in the back of a taxi After a night out in Hamilton Took me ages to get it replaced

Because you know You've got to have a good hair day for the photo Of course And my mum When I ended up having to admit to her I lost my license She was convinced I'd done something driving

That meant I'd lost my license Not just lost my license Oh yeah right She thought I'd lost it And I was just too scared to tell them You were a little shy. I left my phone in an Uber 2% charge.

R.I.P. That's sometimes just unlocking the screen is enough to drain the battery. Tried to give it to the driver who was not interested. Then he rang a number of my friend that popped up on it and he took it with him and picked it up from him at his work. Next day and he'd fully charged it for me.

What a legend. That's nice. Good stuff. What about this person here? I left my bra and bodysuit in an Uber as I got out and went to grab my stuff and the Uber driver drove off and took my friend's chilli bag also filled with alcohol. That's another one that people aren't getting out of Ubers.

My husband left a chilli bin full of booze and his U-E-Boom speaker in the boot. Oh, when you lose on the and his UiBoom speaker in the boot. Oh, God. When you lose on the UiBoom. Remember I left that UiBoom in that hotel in New Plymouth?

Yeah. And they were like, no idea what you're talking about. I was like, bullshit. Bullshit. I bet your cleaner is cranking those beats down the hallway.

Cranking those beats. You're cranking those beats. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. But it occurred to me the other day, we don't have a crock pot at the moment. Now, apparently our crock pot cracked. You've always been a crock pot family. I'm a big crock pot guy.

Yeah. But I will also do, I've got these big, beautiful cast iron pots. Yeah, nice. And I'll get everything in there and I'll leave it in the oven. I'll say to Charlotte, it's in the oven if you could turn it on when you get up. But it just takes so much more power in the oven. Probably a lot I'll leave it in the oven. I'll say to Charlotte, it's in the oven. If you could turn it on when you get up.

But it just takes so much more power in the oven. Probably a lot more power to do in the oven. But then I said, what happened to our crock pot? And she said, the crock pot cracked. The crock cracked? Now that slow cooker's

because crock pots are brand. Yeah. It's a slow cooker. Yeah. So I said, I'm going to get a new slow cooker and she said, you're going to get a pressure cooker.

Got one of them. Oh. But they can slow cook. a new slow cooker. And she said. Why did you get a pressure cooker? Got one of them. But they can slow cook. Got an instant pot. Yeah. With one of those. Whenever I do it, it burns on the bottom. And it's like beep, beep, beep, beep, error. So I just like slopping things in a pot.

You need more water. Walking away. You come home and it's like an electric nana. It's got the house smell and all dinner-y. Oh, I know, dinner. And you walk in and you're like, man, I'm looking forward to dinner. And then there's that constant reminder

that you're having dinner soon which is one of my favourite reminders and so I looked around I was like I don't need an expensive one Kmart had a six and a half litre crock pot

slow cooker for $57 now that's a bargain I can't turn down oh I might need that because what are you paying at your normal stores like a couple of hundies

yeah a couple of hundies for a bigger size like that. And I still don't have an air fryer too, so don't come at me with, do you have an air fryer? I don't have an air fryer because I'm an adult and I've got an oven. Yeah, just cook things myself. I do want an air fryer that you may see right through

that bit of bravado that I put on there that I'm too cool for an air fryer. I do really want an air fryer, but I've been told by my wife there's absolutely nowhere to store it. Yeah, well, just borrow mine when you want an air fryer. And your giant gadget by my wife there's absolutely nowhere to store it. Yeah, well just borrow mine when you want an air fryer. And your giant gadget house.

She doesn't like your bootless pantry. She doesn't like things on top of the cabinets in the butler's pantry. Oh no. It makes it look a bit scruffy.

She's always telling you to get stuff off the bench. Yeah. You should leave. I don't just live on the bench. I probably use it three times a day if I had one.

Anyway, I don't have an air fryer but I do now have a $57 slow cook. I had to go to a faraway Kmart to get it. Apparently, they've been so popular, there's none left. Oh, no. I'm literally on the Kmart website. Closer, Kmart.

So I went to Kmart yesterday and classic Kmart. The front couple had been like opened and looked at. Yeah, yeah. Someone's like, oh, I'm thinking about buying one of these. I might destroy the packaging on another one to have a look at what they look like. And then take the perfectly nice box and leave the other one. So that's what I did.

I went right to the back. They were stacked too high and like four deep. I went right to the back and got the bottom one. The one right at the back at the bottom. It was the eighth if you were counting them from the front. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. It was eight no matter if you were going up, down, up, down or right the way to the row and then starting again on the second row.

So no one's touched that. It was the furthest slow cooker from humanity. Right. The box, perfect condition. Oh, my God. Not even the little, it didn't even look like the little safety flap had been pulled out and the box had been carefully opened. Oh, yeah.

I love that. The safety flap was so snugly tucked. It indicated to me that that was a factory tuck. It's a factory tuck. It's the first and only time it's been tucked. In the family. In the factory, yeah.

Boy, I was looking forward to getting that home and untucking it. I bet you were. So anyway, I pay for it. I get it home. Did you join that long-winded line at came up? There was absolutely no one in the line. And I was paying with cash. Oh, my God.

I said to the lady, where can I pay with cash? And she's like, this machine accepts cash. Why have you got cash? I've been dealing a lot of drugs. Yes. Whenever someone's got cash, I'm like. You've got to make your way in this economy. Yeah.

Whenever people have got cash, I'm like, drugs? Yeah, that's the only reason you would have cash. Nah. Do you do drugs? No. No drugs. Well, explain. Because you're dancing around this.

Someone paid me back for something and they just gave me cash. Okay. They do drugs. They do drugs. They paid you back for the drugs you gave them? Yeah. It was in the roll-up 20s. And it had a hell of a time at the Hawke's Bay Rugby Union.

Yes. So I needed to wipe because the money wouldn't go into the machine because it had plaster on it. Yeah. The same plaster that they saw on the broken Ranfelley Shield. So I had to wipe so it would feed into the machine. Yeah. So I fed the cash in.

I'm home and hosed. Bit of an awkward size to carry, but that's fine. It's a six-litre slow cooker. Yeah. I'm beelining it for the park because they say pay for parking. I was like, I'm not paying for parking in a mall. That's ridiculous. So I got back before they ticketed me.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Albany Mall. Albany, Albany. Albany, whatever. Why do you say Albany? Because my friend Orban. See, you don't pay for parking there.

That's priority parking. It's outside where they have the restaurants. They want me to pay for parking? What am I, made of money? I can't pay for this. It's past $3.20. I'm buying the cheapest local car I can Google. So then I get it home, very excited about it.

My wife, not as excited about it. Doesn't hit the aesthetic, apparently. No, it's ugly. Trashy, but I don't care. So I'm unboxing it. I pull it all out of the box. I sent you guys a photo. I found a sucked Chubba Chub stick.

I'm guessing raspberry flavor because it was red. A sucked lollipop stick in the bottom of my Kmart. So gross. So gross. So gross. You fished for that box. I fished for the factory tuck. It had a factory tuck. It had a factory tuck.

How did it get in? I don't know. The factory? Where did this come from? Yes. The factory. Are Chinese factory workers allowed to pass the time with a sucker? I don't know

I don't know the ethics of the Kmart factory Where was it made? Because a lot of the stuff's Indonesia as well It wasn't New Zealand Right It was definitely a production country That's a nice way of putting it A production country

Sucked A sucked A sucked stick. I wonder, could you put that into one of those, you know when you do a rat test and you put your swamp into that solution? Could you put the chuppa-chup stick into that for say half a

day and then send that to Ancestry.com and track down where this is from? It'd be funny if it was one of your kids. They haven't been home. How did they get to? Maybe they were sort of around. I was going to say, how did they get to China?

Without you knowing. They might be in China. They could be. They're one quarter Chinese. Yeah, they are. China might be recalling its people. Come back. If I get home and my wife and children are gone,

they're like, everybody, even the tiniest amount, come home right now. We're calling our people back before we launch war on the world. So what did you do? Did you bin it? What? The chubba chub stick. Oh, you binned the slow cooker.

No way. I washed the slow cooker and it's currently got a beautiful beef shin in it. What? Yeah, I washed it. I would have taken that. No, I don't know if I would have. No, because it was really weird. It was underneath the polystyrene.

Oh. It was like. It's got to be from the factory. It be from the factory. And the weird part was the box, as I said, the flap on the front, factory tuck. Factory tuck, yeah. The side bits. Factory sides and seals? Factory sides, but of course someone could

go in under there. However, it was at the back in the middle where it would have to be. I reckon a stockroom person's been like, and then shoved it in through the little slot in the flap. Yeah, I reckon. I reckon. I reckon it's from the factory.

I reckon it's from the factory. It's still hanging in the factory. Yeah, like they're about to put it in and it falls out and they're like, oh, well. Who cares? Yeah, there's thousands of these. Ew. That's grim.

That's grim. I got the photo and like, I'm not a lollipop guy It's not like I was You know Doing this for a gag It's really It was really weird Interesting you didn't go

Straight to the Herald with this Because they love Astoria I just thought Oh no so it wasn't Polistoria It was that It was that moulded cardboard Yes

It was underneath The moulded cardboard Which That's factory There's no way Someone's done that In the store Unless they've taken it out.

But as you said, factory tuck. Factory tuck. No, it's factory. Chris Box. Yeah. Okay, well, interesting. Yeah. Look, raspberry.

Ew, don't zoom in on it. I don't like to see it. Raspberry, that's been in someone's mouth. Not mine. Ew. I sniffed it. Are we doing my phone and topic idea? What was your phone and topic idea?

When did somebody already sucked on your purchase? Oh, 800 dials it in. When did somebody already lipped it? Just an update as well, because we did speak yesterday on the show. We put a poll up on Instagram because you bought a chair on Trade Me. I did. I did. I did.

And we were worried it wouldn't fit in the Maz. Beautiful drive out to the hibiscus coast. It fit, didn't it? It did fit. How much hibiscus did you see? Not a lot. No, neither. I've always felt that.

That name's highly misleading. Do you know what was terrible is I had in my car a laundry hamper, because I was going to do laundry, a whole bunch of Salvation Army. There was just a gym bag. The car was already packed. You had a Salvation Army in the boat, did you say? The whole army.

The whole army. The whole band. Okay. They're just practicing their Christmas carols for me as I drive. Yeah. And I got to the place, and it was a nice house, by the way. Oh, yeah, right. Nice house.

Good people, nice house. Yeah. Good people, nice house. Yeah, good people, nice house. Turned up, picked it up, got it in, nice. The footstool was quite large as well, so I was like, oh, here we go. Put it in, wouldn't shut. But then a little bit of adjustment. So I got it in. So did all the haters.

Yeah. Tell you what, it's comfortable. And also it was built by a farmer in England in the 60s. That's good stuff. Crazy, eh? I was like, what's the maker? He was like, it's comfortable. And also it was built by a farmer in England in the 60s. That's good stuff. Crazy, eh? I was like, what's the maker? He was like, it's just a guy from the UK because this was a British guy. And taking it.

It's so addictive, isn't it? I love it. Now, as we head towards the end of the year, we've been talking about end of the year lists. They start coming out. Oxford Dictionary and whatnot. Spotify, Playlist, Wrapped. Hinge is doing a wrapped.

So you can see, reflect on your year's activity on the Hinge dating app. This is, again, my problem. It's only October. Do you want to? Is my question. Would you want to know the things that you've done? At least with Spotify, you're like, I get that. I listen to that band or that artist a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are my top songs. Those are my jams. What hinge stats are they giving you? So what they will show you is how many people you've encountered on the app, how many you've said yes to. Can I pause proceedings momentarily and ask which one hinges? Hinge is, I don't know.

Girlies, do you know what makes hinge different to Tinder? It's like a bajillion questions you've got to fill out. Yeah, so there's like more prompts. There's like audio prompts. And it seems to be a bit more serious, I think. So like people are going on there if they're actually wanting to date rather than a little hookup moment. Have the gays infiltrated yet?

I think it is for all sexually. I know they want their own ant, but they just want an ant in everywhere, don't they? If there's a possibility, it's like they want to fish all the oceans. They've got their designated fishing, they're Norway. They've got their designated fishing signs,

but they'll go everywhere. Because do the lesbians bumble? The lesbians sirs? That's not an ad. That's not a real ad. No, there is. Is that right? Yeah, there was.

There was. It's like all dating apps, so it misses the last vowel. There's whapper, tamey, pink, lex. Whapper. I'm sure there is. I do apologise if I've spoken out of tune. No, they can use Bumble.

Okay, yeah. Lesbians, good morning, you can use Bumble. Okay, no, there is a dating app called Scizor, yeah. Yeah, there is.

So on the hinge wrapped, all your likes, matches, rejections over the year. Rejections? No, I don't need to be reminded of my rejections.

Yep, the time of the day you send the most messages, how many people you've chatted to in total and how long those conversations have lasted. Your longest conversation of the year, the emojis you use the most and a bit of a word cloud, i.e.

the words you use the most with matches. Wow. Or tats. You know? Oh, right, so the word cloud reflects what you like. Tats. Or what you say to people. Oh, what you say to them. Lol and... Oh, hey, lol and all that kind of stuff. How to get the data.

Open the Hinge app on your phone. Of course. Navigate to your account settings and select download my data. So account settings generally looks like a cog or something. Thank you for explaining the settings cog. Thank you. I would have been so lost without that. I'm telling my mum how to download her hinge stats.

Her hinge wrapped. Yeah, and then it can take up to 24 hours and then they'll send you a zip file, a link to a zip file. Again, though, that sounds like you're about to be hacked. Confronting stats. Nobody needs these. Inside you'll see a file called matches.json. This is what you will use to build your hinge wrapped.

I don't want to know. It's just in will use to build your hinge wrapped. Ugh. I don't want to know. It's just in the moment a lot of the time. Yeah. Don't show me my rejections. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Today's Fact of the Day is Sesame Street Week here at Fact of the Day. And yesterday there was a good point raised by producers that I'd maybe dabbled a little too hard in Muppets. The Muppets side of Sesame Street. Yep. But they're still part of Sesame Street, right? They were on Sesame Street, but they were also on the Muppets side of Sesame Street. Yep. But they're still part of Sesame Street, right? So the Muppets were on Sesame Street, but they were also on the Muppet Show.

Now, a lot of Muppets did ten years on both. Yeah, right. But there were some better known for their time on the Muppet Show, such as the Swedish chef who we talked about yesterday. Yes. Your favourite. But Big Bird was more Sesame. Correct.

But made a rogue appearance on the Muppet Show. But not like you wouldn't say Big Boo. You'd say Big Boo was a Sesame Street. Yes. Grover, Sesame Street. Elmo. Elmo, Sesame Street. So I'm pitching back.

I will save my Swedish chef fact that I was going to use today for a Muppet week sometime in the future. See, I'm a huge Jim Henson fan. Yeah. Okay. Recently rewatched Labyrinth. Flawless. Beautiful. August has become obsessed with it. He knows all the words to Dance Magic Dance, theed Labyrinth. Oh. Flawless. Beautiful.

August has become obsessed with it, knows all the words to Dance Magic Dance, the David Bowie classic. Great. Beautiful song. Fantastic. Hard to keep your eye off his package though, isn't it? Very tightly wrapped.

Good Lord. It's a factory tuck. It really is. It's a factory tuck. Well, today's fact of the day is the first ever celebrity special guest that they had on Sesame Street. The year was 1969. This man was 38 years old. He is still alive, making him 92

years old. More clothes. He's got an amazing voice, arguably like the best voice in history. Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra's dead. I have terrible news for you. Old Blue Eyes is dead. You did just say he's still alive. This guy's alive. He's 92 years old. He's been the voice of two very famous film fathers. Morgan Freeman.

No. The Darth Vader guy. Yes. James Earl Jones. James Earl Jones. James Earl Jones at the age of 38, approximately nine years before he was even Darth Vader. Yeah.

He was an actor. He'd done theatre. He'd done film. He was Sesame Street's first ever special guest. Look, this means nothing for everybody at home, but look what a handsome, handsome, bald black man this was. A beautiful, bald black man. Beautiful.

Like timeless too. That's 1969. That could be today. Just a long-sleeved black. Do you want to hear him, what he did on the show? Sure. Now, not the strongest first ever celebrity special appearance by

somebody for Sesame Street, but James Earl Jones B. Read the alphabet. C. At this speed. Oh, okay. D. God, we could really run it along a little bit. There's a song. Yeah, well, there's a song now, but, like, we could really run it along a little bit. You would think, you know, there would be...

Yeah, well, there's a song now, but... And even his pacing, obviously using his voice in a theatrical delivery, but it could have totally... Modern television would have run him through a lot quicker. But yeah, all he did was he took one minute, 35 seconds to read the alphabet in that beautiful voice. That's a 20-second job. Yeah.

Well before it became Darth Vader, well before it became Mufasa from Lion King. Yeah. So today's Fact of the Day is the first ever special guest, and there has been a myriad of them since. Everybody who's anybody, Ricky Gervais has talked to Elmo. Everybody that's everybody's been on Sesame Street. But the first ever celebrity guest on Sesame Street

was James Earl Jones. Fact of the Day, day, day, day, day. Hello there, and welcome to the Great Kiwi Kettle Off. Well, just an update, really, Great Kiwi Kettle Off. This is something that happened last week. Spirited the moment idea. Hayley, you purchased a kettle that... Claims. Claims to be the fastest kettle.

Claims. Claims. Yes, I claimed it, and then we came in here and we proved it. Our kettles were going so fast they blew the PowerPoints. Yes, I claimed it. And then we came in here and we proved it. Our kettles were going so fast they blew the PowerPoints. Yes. Sore losers. No, so our kettles effectively rendered useless because of the power sockets. And yet mine prevailed, boiled, and slipped on me first.

The question wasn't whose has the lowest, quickest drain. The power supply was whose can boil what are the quickest. How and what have we, we've hired a box, like a multi, a proper multi-box thingy. We sure have. I have to go to a big fancy electronic place today and be like, hi, I am a girl. I do not know what this is, but please give it to me. Hi.

Hi. Help, I want to boil six jugs at once. It's called a Lifeguard 16. Oh, yeah. I had the Lifeguard 15, and I thought they had Jeff for an upgrade. Yes, they've got the 16 now. Okay, and so this means we can plug all the kettles in and definitively find out whose kettle is faster.

If mine wins, can we just put it to rest? You can let me have the fastest kettle out of our company and then we move on. Yeah, absolutely, but what we experienced last time was faulty plugs that I believe cost me and my cambric. Yeah. Was it cambric? No, anko. No, you've got your anko.

Sorry, I tried to posh up my suburb there. You really did. No, Jared's on the cambric. Briscoes have jumped on board. They're going to give us some $500 vouchers. So you just text KETTLE to 9696, followed by, I believe, followed by the name of who you think will win. Fletch, Vaughan, Hayley, Shannon, Carwin, Jared.

Those are the contestants. You'll go in the draw. So whoever's winning Kettle wins will draw three Briscoes $500 vouchers. Nice. And then when are we going toe's $500 vouchers. Nice. And then when are we going to do this? Tomorrow. Okay.

Okay. I'm really excited for this. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. We would like to talk about the lessons you learn the hard way. Because I stumbled across this on TikTok. It was a girly sharing. The lesson she learned the hard way.

Why would you ever share this? She said, when I first got my period, I bled through so many pants because I thought that the tampon sat between your labia like a hot dog in a bun. George is laughing. I can see, like, if you were never told and you're like,

that's what's going to stop it, I'd look at it and I'd be like, wow, Jesus. She says, I literally have eight sisters. Why did they not tell me? Why did no one tell her? That's so rough.

So instead of plugging, it was just sitting, bridging. It's insane that you would have children and not explain this stuff to them. Like I can. But why did you? Yes. Who's buying your tech? When I first got my period, my mum bought my sanitary items.

So you had to tell me how to use them. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like a hot dog sitting in a bun. Just let that image sit with you. Bled through a lot of pants. Yeah, I bet.

Until finally she was like, these don't bloody work. Something's wrong with me. And then when her sister would have gone, you putting it in enough? And then she would have said, what do you mean in? On. Between the buns. We want to know the lessons you had to learn the hard way because

maybe someone just didn't tell you. You didn't know these things. Yeah. You've just been doing it wrong forever until one day you learn the proper way and you're like, huh. These are the kind of things, the mistakes people make when they move out of home and they go flatting, like not putting the laundry detergent in the middle. They put it in the top.

And it's like all my clothes are streaky white. Or never clean out a lint tray until the dryer catches on fire. Yeah. Number one cause of house fires. Yes, I know. I take it very seriously. I don't use the dryer often, but I always check that lint tray. Were you still telling Shadow if she's using the dryer?

Correct, I am, yeah. Look at this beautiful day. Look at this goddamn day. This is a drying day. You do have to juice your towels at the end of it. My dryer is hooked onto the Wi-Fi towels At the end of it My dryer's Hooked onto the wifi If I get a notification

That the dryer's in use It knocks It knocks Wow I will say I've actually borrowed A towel from Vaughn Within the last couple of weeks

And it was soft and fluffy So he is He is finishing In the Always finishing the dryer In the dryer We're talking about The lessons you had to learn

The hard way Because a woman Has shared on TikTok That when she first Started menstruating, she didn't know how to use a tampon properly. And she used it, as she says, like a hot dog in a bun. Just kidding.

Not, you know. It's too funny. A plug in the canal. Yeah, yeah. Now, we just got a message about belly buttons. And Vaughn, this is news to you even though you've had two kids. Yeah. Somebody said, I learned that belly buttons weren't tied off like a balloon

when my son was born four years ago. I'm 35. I thought they tied a knot and then... No, they don't. They clamp it. Yeah. And then you cut it on the other end. Yeah.

And then they leave the little bit on it until it shrivels up and it just falls off on its own. My God. Do you remember when I had a... I thought there was a knot. Do you remember? I had an outie belly button. I had to get plastic surgery.

Yeah, that's because... Yeah, that's right. That's because they tied a knot and they didn't slide it right back together. Yeah, they didn't slide it right back. They didn't do a slip knot. Yeah, exactly. Jen's called. Jen, what did you learn the hard way?

I put dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher. Oh, my God. That would have been a phony mess. That's really bad, eh? And it would foam up enough that it would pop the door open, wouldn't it? Oh, my God. there were so many bubbles. I didn't know what to do. How much did you just fill the whole, like, little container?

Pardon? Did you just fill the whole container? Where the tablet should go. And a little bit more, yeah. Yeah, and a little bit of a squirt in. And a squirt in. Because you had them pre-rinsed. Yeah, and everywhere. Yeah.

And oh my gosh, no one forgave me. I mean, dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher. I mean, it makes sense. You'd think it would work, but no, it doesn't. Good Lord, we've got some messages. The things you had to learn the hard way, like the woman who was using a tampon wrong, like a hot dog in a bun.

Touch of that. I've also just learned, even though I've been there for twice, the belly buttons aren't tied off. There's just a clamp on them these days. They used to tie them off, right? They naturally seal. No. Yeah. They naturally seal. I'm sure there was a knot.

There might be a knot to stomp the gut coming out of the... How much gnos had you had? I like gnos. What's a bit of gnos between friends? Sarah, what did you learn the hard way? Sarah. Oh, sorry, sorry. Hello, Sarah.

What did you learn the hard way? I didn't learn the hard way. I've been with my husband for 16 years. And when we first started dating, he was lying in bed and he was looking through my bedside cabinet. And he found a sanitary liner, so the really thin liners. And he was starting to play with it and he started rolling it up and he turned around to me and goes, is this a roll-it-yourself tampon?

Oh, a roll-it-yourself tampon. It's like Singies. It's like Singies. You can buy the tailors. They're a little more expensive. Yeah, buy a roll-it-yourself. Save a few bucks. Roll-it-yourself. Exactly. I know more expensive. Yeah, buy a rollie. Yeah, they save a few bucks. Rollies for the vagina.

Exactly, exactly. I know. Oh my God, that is so funny. Hey guys, apparently being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others to like it.

I would concentrate more on the shitter podcast that the company makes. Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Same. No, no, no, we'll just... Yeah. Maybe we won't say that.

Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other podcasts that the company makes. Yeah, nah. No, but only after ours. Yeah, nah. Nah, don't do that. And not more than ours. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.